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itsthemysterykids · 2 years

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Stan’s having the kids work the Night Shift!

French Narrator: Ah, the Mystery Shack. Gravity Fall's premiere daytime tourist trap/gift shop. Where it will be closing time right about...

Coraline: *Switches the "Open" sign to "Closed"* Now! 8:00! Finally! It’s ‘Mystery Kids movie night’!

Neil: I’ll get the snacks!

Raz: I’ll eat the snacks!

Lili: I’ll kill you if you do!

*A man shows up at the door and knocks on it*

Dipper: … Yes?

Man: Are you open?

Mystery Kids: …

Wybie: Is this guy serious?

Lili: *points to the sign* Read the sign.

Man: Yeah, do you accept coupons?

Mabel: Since when did Grunkle Stan make coupons?

Coraline: Dude! We’re closed! I can't hang out here all night! We’ve got lives.

Man: Well, fine, if you don't want my money!

Stan: *From out of nowhere* Money?! *He then falls from the ceiling in front of the door* You mean, if we stayed open later, you'd give us your money?

Man: *Pulls out cash, along with a few other night customers* Sure!

Stan: Kids, *Tears up the "Closed" sign* welcome to the night shift. From now on, the Mystery Shack gift shop is open 24 hours a day!

Dipper: What!?

*A crowd of customers barge in cheering*

Coraline: This can’t be legal!

Wybie: Oh, no. It is.

Dipper: Grunkle Stan-

Stan: See ya in the morning, kids! I can't hang out here all night! I've got a life. *He leaves*

Dipper: But-!

Mabel: Well, let’s make the most of it! It’s just the right of us for hours and hours and hours and then the sun'll come up and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working! *Gasps* It'll be just like a sleepover! Only we'll be sweaty and covered in dust! *Jumps on cash register counter* Are you guys ready?!

Neil: Yeah!

Lili: No.

Mabel: Too bad! 'Cause we've got customers!

Lili: *She hands a young customer a snow globe” Here. Please hit me as hard as you can.

Mabel: Pst, guys. I'm working at the register. At night!

Lili: … Don't hold back, kid.

Neil: Look! *Spray painting rocks gold* Look at me, I'm spray painting these rocks gold!...at night.

*Mabel is putting bows on a taxidermy porcupine, but she misses, pricks her finger, and screams*

Mabel: I pricked my hand!...at night.

*Neil and Mabel are now walking on the counter, singing to the tune of Charge*

Mabel/Neil: Night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, na-na-na-na-night! Night!

Wybie: MAKE IT STOP!

Norman: Okay! It’s only been ten minutes and we’re already going bat-shit!

Coraline: Oh, for the love of- Here, *She hands Mabel a bag of garbage* Why don’t you two take out the trash?

Mabel/Neil: All right!

Coraline: That’ll give us a minute of piece.

Mabel/Neil: Taking out the trash. Taking out the trash at ni— *They stop at the door and stares at the dumpster outside in the dark*

Neil: You mean outside?

Dipper: That's where the dumpster is, yes.

Neil: I don't know, it's kinda dark out there.

Coraline: *Smugly* But I thought you liked the night shift.

Mabel: You're right. For the Mystery Shack! *She and Neil run out to the dumpster, screaming and panicking the whole way; reenter the shack panting heavily*

Neil: … Piece of cake.

Coraline: So you're not afraid?

Neil: Pfft, nah.

Coraline: Well I am. Especially after, *Looks around, gulps* well, you know.

Mabel: What? What do we know?

Wybie: *Suspiciously* Yeah, Jonesy. What do they know?

Coraline: What? You don't remember? It was all over the news.

Neil: Tell me, tell me!

Coraline: No, no, no, I probably shouldn't. It would ruin the night shift for you. *Gives a sympathetic look, then smiles slyly*

Wybie: Oh my God, Coraline. Not this.

Mabel: What happened, what happened, what happened?!

Coraline: You mean you've never heard the story of the *Thinks* "Deranged Defective Detective?"

Lili: … Oh, that is some bull.

Mabel: The Daringer-Deflect Detect?

Coraline: The Deranged Defective Detective.

Neil: The Dera-ders… Ranging, Dlec-Defect, the, the, the, Drain-Detec- deflect… Uh…

Coraline: Yes. The Deranged Defective Detective. But, most people just call him The De---*Screams* because that's all they have time to say, before he gets them!

Neil: Tell us the story!

Raz: Nope! I’m out! *Before he can leave, Lili grabs him by the back of his shirt*

Lili: If I have to suffer, so do you.

Coraline: Years ago at this very gift shop, the Deranged Defective Detective used to be a youthful mystery solver, just like us, only clumsier! And then, one night, when he was restocking the glass eyes... it happened.

Mabel: He forgot to dust the shelf??

Coraline: No.

Neil: He didn't check in for his shift?

Coraline: No.

Raz: Stole money from the tip jar?

Coraline: No! A pile of heavy glass eyes fell on his hand, breaking it beyond repair!

Raz: You mean like this? *Pulls one of his arms out of socket, another one grows back in its place, much to the kids’ shock*

Dipper: How did you-

Raz: Gag hand! *He tosses the fake hand aside* Continue.

Coraline: … And he replaced his hand with a dingy magnifying glass. And then, he got hit by a bus! And...at his funeral, Stan fired him! So now, every...what day is it?

Norman: Tuesday.

Coraline: Tuesday night, his ghost returns to the Krusty Krab to wreak his horrible vengeance!

Neil: *Gasps* But tonight's Tuesday night!

Lili: An I the only one-

Norman: Nope. But I’m too tired to even bother.

Coraline: Then he'll be coming.

Mabel: How will we know?

Coraline: There are three signs that signal the approach of the Deranged Defective Detective. First, the lights will flicker on and off. Next, the phone will ring and there will be nobody there. And finally, the Deranged Defective Detective arrives in the ghost of the bus, that ran him over! Then he exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways, because he's already dead!

*Neil begins chewing his finger nails*

Coraline: Then he taps on the window with his grizzly magnifying glass...

Mabel: No.

Coraline: He opens the door... *Pushes her hand to mimic like she’s pushing a door open; while doing this she imitates the sound of a creaky door opening* Then… He slowly approaches the counter! *Neil and Mabel hold onto each other* ...And you know what he does next?

Mabel: What?

Coraline: You really want to know?

Neil: What?

Coraline: Are you sure you want to know?

Neil: What, what, WHAT DOES HE DO?!

Wybie: *Sneaks up on Neil and Mabel and taps then with a fake skeleton hand* Takes your soul.

*Neil and Mabel scream repeatedly while Coraline is laughing*

Coraline: Our best mark yet!

Dipper: You’ve done this before?

Wybie: She does, I just creep up with a skeleton hand. *Neil and Mabel are still screaming* … Guys?… We were just- *They’re still screaming*

Coraline: Neil! Mabel! I was joking!

Neil: What?

Coraline: It's not true. None of it's true.

Neil: It's not?

Coraline: Of course not. Nobody has a magnifying glass for a hand. It was all a joke.

Neil: Ohhhhh... *Laughs repeatedly like he did with screaming, much to Lili’s annoyance*

*Hours later*

*Lili is at the counter reading a book, Coraline is playing with a paddle ball, Raz is looking through the postcards, and Dipper, Neil, and Wybie are enjoying some ice pops. Lili hears a strange noise and feels water dripping on her but doesn't know what it is*

Mabel: *Drops down from the ceiling wearing Ford’s anti-gravity boots and holding a mop* Isn't this great, guys?! *Raz screams* There's never time to wash the ceiling during the day.

Lili: Open 24 hours a day. What a stupid idea! Who wants overpriced junk at 3 in the morning?!

Wybie: I mean, if it’s a car engine I can still get some use out of, then… *Lili glared at him* I’ll stop talking.

Lili: Just look at this place. It's like a ghost town in here! No offense, Norman.

Norman: None taken. *The lights start to flicker on and off* Very funny, guys.

Mabel: What?

Norman: "And the lights will flicker on and off." Just like the story. *He realizes no one is flickering the light switch and looks shocked* … Huh… *He looks to see if a ghost is around, but doesn’t see any*

Mabel: Hey, Norman, how are you doing that without moving the switch?

Norman: I'm not doing it. It must be the stupid, faulty wiring in here.

Coraline: Yeah, this place isn't built to run 24 hours a day! *The phone rings and she picks it up* Hello? Hello? Hello? *no one's on the other end of the line*

Neil: Nice try, Coraline.

Coraline: Nice try, what?

Neil: "The phone will ring and there will be no one there." *Laughs* Oh, you crack me up.

Coraline: But, I'm not doing it! *Hangs up the phone* Okay, that was weird.

Wybie: Yeah, first there was the lights- *The lights flicker on and off* … and the phone- *The phone rings* … A-and the walls will ooze green slime?! *He points to the walls start to ooze green slime*

Dipper: Don’t worry, they always do that. But what about that third thing, Coraline?

Coraline: Uh... *She hears a motor and turns her heads to the window and see a bus pulling up to the Mystery Shack*

Lili: … I didn't know the buses ran this late.

Dipper: … They don't...

*The bus pulls away, dropping off a man on the opposite side of the street, all the kids can see is his spooky outline*

Raz: Well, they're dropping someone off. *from the outside, the man lifts his magnifying glass* AAAAAHHH!!!

Coraline: The Dera-Ranging, Dlec-Defect, the Drain-Detec...

Raz: The Deranged Defective Detective! *He starts to cry*

Norman: Oh, we are so fucked!

Neil: No! NO! Coraline is just trying to scare us with- with- by dressing up as a ghostly detective and standing on the other side of the street, just to entertain us! You must really care!

Norman: Neil, there are 2 problems with your theory. 1: Where would Coraline get a costume on such short notice?

Dipper: And 2: how can that be her when she’s standing right here?!

*The man taps on the door with his magnifying glass*

Neil: AAAAAAHHH!!

Mystery Kids: The Deranged Defective Detective! *The guy walks in the door and up to the counter, the Mystery Kids hold each other in terror* He's going to kill me!/Get away! Get away!/Help us!

Coraline: Lili, no matter what I've said, I've always sort of liked you!

Lili: Ditto!

Mabel: Wybie, I used your jacket to unclog the toilet!

Wybie: Huh?

Norman: I’m not going out like this! *He grabs Dipper’s shirt and pulls him in for a kiss*

*The guy reaches the counter, revealing himself to be just a regular, nerdy guy as he steps into the light*

Nerdy guy: Can I have a job application to join the Mystery Kids? I brought my own magnifying glass. *He holds up the magnifying glass, his sleeve rolls down his arm to show he has his hand* I called here earlier, but I hung up 'cause I was nervous.

Mabel: Do you have references?

Dipper: Hold on! If that was you on the phone and you on the bus, then who was flickering the lights?

*The lights flicker on and off. They all look over and see Nosferatu flicking a giant light switch*

Mystery Kids/Nerdy guy: Nosferatu!

Nosferatu: *smiles, light turns off*

#coraline #mystery kids #paranorman #gravity falls #psychonauts #the mystery kids #ask stuff #answered ask

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amyleeryba · 6 years

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Cronicas de whyehtogosocomplicatednanana

no tiene que ver pero no manchen yo quiero el juego de mi bebe spiderman B: estoy con lo del E3 y ya tengo mi lista de juegos que comprare para el 2050 cuando este mas bajito el precio pero la neta yo lo quiero D:

ya comencemos a lo que nos truje chencha

pinches 4 años de malas decisiones y blanqueamiento coriano neta que todavia no supero la masacre que se aventaron aqui

a chingao no no yo soy carlos santana, que pedul me saque de onda cuando dijo mi name y no la madre toda meca que le puse porque si pinche beemov desde aquellos lares del 2012 me chingaste porque no me dejaste ponerle ese puto nombre y termine llamando a la morra dlec porque no me quedo opcion che nombre culero y ahora me llama amy lee por tus pinches huevos que....

como me altero B:< cagajo

y todavia se hace mas wey de lo que ya es, a ver!!! recuerdenme que mi bonita relacion se fue por el drenaje apestoso por culpa de esta imbecil que no sabe que existe el internet, trabajos de medio tiempo para visitarlo, llamadas por telefono, vender un riñon, para ver al vato, yo estuve unos meses asi y no me aguite wey, anduve haciendo el pinche esfuerzo porque le vato me importa y no lo dejare ir, sucrette creia que todo era bien facil PERO NO!!! ASI NO ES LA BIDA WEEEEEY CAPTA POR EL AMOR DE DIOS!!!!

BUENO COMO ESPERO VER A ALEXY luego pues ya despues e pregunto y asi, queria ver si habian cambiado lo de lysandro y su caso de la vida real como a Ken Ken y a la verga la opinion del publico :D sigue igual -_-

pinshe rosa de que te ries wey que esto es serio

ese dialogo me saco de onda osease lo apoyaste pero te valio madres y te fuiste wey, no tienes perdon de dios y todavia te pones tus moños de todas las tragedias que yo se que te pasaran mas adelante, todo por esa cadena de mesinyer B:< (che sucrette me cagas) Y LO DEJAS POR TU ESTUPIDEZ!!!! te voy a dar una paliza que no vas a olvidar en tu vida, maldita lisiada escuincla mugrosa B:<

aqui me di cuenta de que mis PAs se estaban suicidando alv, neta que con cada dialogo queria que se acabara la para poder guardarlo porque era una violada masiva, cada vez veia menos y menos y queria que rosa se callara la boquita

YAAAAAAA deja de pensar tambien porque me cuesta niña,

total avance y me encontre la negra hablando con willy wonka wera

y las dos morras empezaron a pelear y la sucrette de volada de metida ahi como que quiso dar pelea y demostrarme a mi, su madre, que ya lo era la misma pendeja de antes

ora, aqui van los madrazos y jaladas de greña que tanto habia esperado

come tierra pinche yelen

pinche dialogo mamalon que nos aventamos, aqui ya recien egresada de la escuela de insultos 2018, primera en la clase, triunfando como siempre

esos pudimos haber sido nosotras viviendo la bida loka con nuestro vato pero no, les valio dos kilos de papita galeana bien cocida y nos dieron esto de que, ay la distancia, ay soy bien unika y difedente, ay pobre de mi, ay ya no quiero nada quiero una nueva vida en la universidad

no se que pedo con este vato asi que me lo saltare porque me vale madre la mera neta del planeta y aqui fue cuando mi panico crecio ya andaba que no me hablen perras!!! dejenme dejenme!!!

yo ya no queria hablar con nadie porque neta se pasaron eso fue lo peor, te dejan en esos pinches dialogos largos

estaba de que sucrette deja de pensar pendeja, nunca lo haces y ahora si dejalo en serio, no pienses solo hazlo, estas asi de

ah mira un arbol ( -2)

es un arbol muy bonito (-2)

que linda es la naturaleza (-2)

me gustan los arboles (-2)

pinche sucrette meca ya wey!!!! me dejas sin nada no ves que soy pobre y no voy a gastar en esto porque coda a huevo y aparte de que estoy en ceros literal XD mendiga economia

JA JA JA TE LA METIO (me vale berga que hayas vuetlo torombola arruinaste la pinshi relacion que tanto quise)

y en este punto estaba

DEJEN DE HABLARME A LA VERGA YAAAAAA WEEEEY SE ME ACABAN LOS PAS AUTSILIO, no me hablen no me hablen plis

esta mas o menillos, yo no lo eligiria porque es negro B:

hay una imagen aqui que no pinshes puedo subir pero la sucrette ya andaba de caliente con el profe (maldito tumblr neta que tu tambien te vas a poner de nena)

pinche sucrette quien la viera, si mensa mensa no esta la cabrona, si sabe que le conviene el sugar daddy negro, nomas tiene la cara de pendeja pero de lo demas ni un pelo de tonta, ni uno!

y hasta aqui llegue porque me quede en 0 como todo en la vida D;

ah! algo que queria decir era sobre kentin mi amorcito, si el mismo estuvo enamorado de la su mucho tiempo se cambio de instituto por ella, se fue y se puso buenote, y volvio y siguio amandonos que chingados cambio para que nos dejara? osea se leacabo el amor porque tuvieron setso salvaje y ya, ¿es todo? hasta el mismo dice lo de la boda y de pronto como si nada se hace cesar milan y ya? que pedo? cuantos huecos argumentales me vas a echar en cara pinche beemov, segun que el cliente siempre tiene la razon y hasta ahora ustedes se han pasado las quejas opiniones y demas por ya saben donde

esta bien que si pero no tanto, no es para que se pasen y nos den una patada en el trasero B:< sigo enojada por cierto y mas aun porque no me rinden los mendigos pas,

ya me boy a chingar a otro lado

#cdm #Corazon de Melon #chingao #pos ya que

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