#do i have to make myself a pin or write on my backpack 'i have the elevator code because im fucking disabled stop asking me why'

[transgaysex]

also whats a guy gotta do for people to stop asking me why i have the code to the elevators meant for personnel and disabled students to use. like why is it that twice now staff from the college ask me "Umm why do you have the code to the elevator?" buddy if im not also staff then ill give you one fucking guess.

[sideblogforquery-argh]

People are not using pronouns, using wrong words, but I don’t remind anyone verbally. TW: Su1cide, s3lf h4rm, anorex1a mentions.

TLDR at bottom, I appreciate if anyone reads this or has any advice. Other key points in bold.

I’m sorry this is so long, and I promise this is about nonbinary stuff, but there are Complications, if you will:

1. Autistic doormat. (Professionally diagnosed)

2. Anxious and hates confrontation of any kind.

3. Chronic pain that stops me from going places and doing things.

4. Long history of depression, anxiety, s3lf h4rm, su1cide attempts.

5. Speak in a high pitched voice (not natural, forced again by anxiety of being viewed as competent and mature and not having my limitations taken seriously)

6. Have feminine mannerisms.

7. Have a very slight build and feminine features.

8. I have not had IRL friends for ten years, or online friends for about six.

9. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder.

10. Underweight, low key restrictive eating disorder (I will gladly maintain current weight, but comment on my body, eating habits or try to feed me more and the anorex1a says Hello. Also maintaining low weight to avoid “filling out” as much as possible in breast area.)

I’m 25 and nonbinary. I’ve known I was nonbinary since 2014/2015. I had come out verbally to my mom many years ago, maybe around 2017. Came out to brother via a written sign on my door and then a short verbal confirmation in late spring last year. At my high school graduation last year (age 24) I had my write up read aloud by the principal include “I look forward to being my authentic enby self” and I wore a pronoun pin and necklace. My grandparents were also at the ceremony. I reactivated my Facebook account and posted an artistic image and write up explaining my pronouns, name, etc. I have a variety of pride and pronoun items, pins on my backpack, a They/Them pronoun necklace, a keychain. I usually have some sort of sign declaring my pronouns and sometimes my name on my door. I even attended my local Pride parade and festival last August with my mom. Also since coming out I have explored neopronouns and I like to use Ae/Aer for myself.

Now, as mentioned at the very top, I am a doormat. I hate being bother, I have had huge mental and physical health challenges. I always want to help, to do things, I’ve been trapped at home with no pain free or easy way to go into town. I’ve been alone for a very long time, not attending school, and then trying to do it by myself online. I am also AFAB and I generally don’t present in a “gender non-conforming” matter. (Put in quotes because I am not a girl) Just the other night, there was a talking head on the news who’s name was Tiana* and my mom gleefully exclaimed “her name is Tiana*, she has the same name as you! You almost never hear anyone with the name Tiana*!”

ANYWAYS, to the point, I can never manage to bring myself to verbally remind anyone to use my pronouns. I can’t discuss my dysphoria with anyone, including my counsellor, which has really increased in the last few months. My counsellor had to be told what gender dysphoria is, and he’s trying but I don’t feel comfortable talking to him about it. My PMDD is also not only making my mental health in general really mad, but increasing my gender dysphoria. I have tried birth control for this, and it resulted in a suicide attempt.

I came out a year ago now to the wider family network / world, but it feels like everyone has completely ignored that fact. I came out of the closet, but a new, iron maiden style one has been built around me by anyone and everyone who perceives “me.”

I put “me” is quotation marks because it’s not actually me that anyone is seeing or talking to, it’s the mirage of a past person. I just feel so weak and pathetic, I don’t speak up for myself, I just let it happen. I don’t exist, not according to how I am referred to my people the vast majority of the time. They/them does get used at home frequently, but more often it’s my birth name. I’ve gone through waves of uncomfortable indifference to just feeling really shitty, having an abuse of use of that name, where now I am starting to not feel neutral but dislike it. It’s always, “Tiana* this”, and “it’s in Tiana’s* room,” “I think Tiana* has it, don’t you?”

I just feel hopeless. I don’t see myself ever being able to exist as actually myself. If I can’t remind my family in my safe home to use my pronouns; or that I want to use a different name, OR that (body pain permitting) I’d probably like to have my breasts and nipples removed; how am I supposed to reminded anyone else? The massage therapist, the doctor, the other pain specialist, the orthopaedic surgeon, the counsellor, the psychiatrist, the osteopath, anyone and everyone who I’ve ever met before who just, “she/her’s” and “Tiana*’s” me.

*Tiana is not actually my name, it is used for example purposes only.

TLDR: I have a variety of visual objects and signs that describe my pronouns and nonbinary-ness, but I have almost never reminded anyone verbally to use my pronouns and that I am not a girl. The most I can do is squeak out “they” quietly. How can I actually be brave and speak up for myself for once?

[give-grian-rights]

I joined an frc team

-GRABS YOU-

hello and welcome to the first day of the rest of your life . first robotics competition CHANGES YOUR BRAIN CHEMICALS

you want to survive? LETS DO THIS

1: NO MATTER WHAT try and stick it out. Get the grades, get the hours, get the permission to travel to at least ONE competition- especially one that stays in a hotel, since I know some teams will skip out on hotels for events close to them. I don't think ANYONE, in any scenario, should say "this isn't for me" until they go and experience one full event.

2: if you don't use deodorant YOU WILL BE EXECUTED . no matter what your job is, there is going to be at least ONE point throughout the day where you are shoulder-to-shoulder with someone . if theres a time to be self conscious its then . use Convention rules as reference

3:you will be tempted to fucking come out of the closet at least at one point . you do NOT KNOW how much it hurt to skip out on a cool write-your-own-pronouns pin because i refused to use she/her and wasn't comfortable writing any. proceed with caution as you see fit.

4: are you surprised by number four? YOU SHOULDNT BE the women. ohh the women are so pretty. my entire high school (aka: less than a year ago) was me being OUTRAGOUSLY STUPID whenever i saw a fem presenting person . oh my god. oh my god they are all so hot. and then those hot students become hot volunteers and alumni and the gay never leaves. there was a trans woman mentor at one competition she rocked we talked with her for like an hour

5: if your team. goes to far competitions. TAKE A BLANKET AND PILLOW. new kids sometimes do NOT get this memo. do it. get silly with it, to what your team permits. our team, being older than me myself, gave up . . most rules. involving the bus. for better or worse.

6: bring a hoodie. i dont care where you go. bring not just a blanket, but a hoodie. so worse comes to worse you can put it on the floor and sleep. that was a fun 8 hour bus ride.

7: if you have a remotely decent team. you will be killed on site if you cuss at a competition. one kid's "bad" or immature behavior can lead to your entire team being disqualified to any award not related to robot performance.

8: LEARN HOW TO EAT AT LEAST ONE BASIC FOOD. this one might be silly but it could've killed me (dramatic). eat pizza. even if you have to take off the cheese just. figure out a way its worth it. FIND SOMETHING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST. at least one breakfast food, for if you're at a hotel that serves you. experiment a little. find something that works for you.

9: exercise what free stuff you take with caution . i have probably ten-fifteen pounds of buttons and pins, and i do not. genuinely do not. think thats an exaggeration.

10: headphones . soft, subtle earbuds. battery packs. and a BACKPACK. my senior year, i composed myself of:

fanny pack, attached to it my wallet which had a buckle, so i could easily access my money. a change purse also attachable, so i have somewhere for coins obviously.

reusable, collapsing drinking cup

a folded up draw-string bag, for hoodies, or eccentric amount of free stuff

one to two battery packs with a charger. if you have friends (or want to make some), consider having other types of chargers too!

wall outlet plug, incase i need to charge at a venue

miniature hairbrush

hand sanitizer

gum. a great way to make friends

a folded up sandwich bag with various medicines, and a piece of paper that describe which each medicine is (ibuprofen, anxiety meds, etc).

i genuinely considered wearing two fannypacks at the same time. also, tying your hoodie around your waist for extra storage works too.

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE HACK:

tampon box . your venue bans outside food or drink? tampon box with pads and tampons on top. contraband inside. almost NEVER looks. better to put it with team stuff like scouting equipment and spirit gear but a worthy inclusion. Same goes for if you have a backpack with pockets!

put food/drinks at the bottom, menstrual products on top. doesn't matter what you present as. lie. say your girlfriend needed it since she doesn't carry a bag with her to competitions. putting SOFT STUFF that mumbles wrappers crinkling also helps, like an extra hoodie. though I personally wouldn't matter to much about that, since competitions are LOUD especially when you're entering the venue when the doors first open.

a lot of the time though, security aren't too bothered. especially if you dont make it obvious.

this is my first robotics season as a college student. i don't like my team enough to go back, but god. god do i fucking love this program.

[universe-requests]

Got any college tips?

Ps make it lengthy

Yeah! Note that a lot of this will be based on my own experiences as someone w ADHD at a large public university, and may not apply necessarily to you!

Academic Stuff:

even if textbook readings aren't mandatory, if there are associated sections/readings w your classes, you should read the textbook. there is a ton of stuff in there that's not gonna be covered well by your lectures, and you'll benefit from the additional context and examples you get from reading

make calendars and to-do lists weeks in advance. if your classes have syllabi with schedules, put all their deadlines onto your calendar. from the calendar, write down what you want to get done each day. i usually try to do 1-2 assignments every day. i do this usually a few weeks to a month into the future, so that i know what i need to get done each day. if you need to push an assignment, you'll know what you have to do for the coming days and can balance where best to put stuff you couldn't complete.

go to office hours! if you start an assignment and do what you can on it b4 going to office hours, you'll be able to better ask questions on what you're confused abt. for some of my harder classes, i went to office hours sometimes twice a week.

you may need to change your major! that's okay. i changed mine like 2 or 3 years in and had to do an extra year to make up for the change. i was afraid to "give up" on my first major (biomedical engineering), but if i'd switched sooner, i would've avoided needing to take extra time. if you do end up switching a bit later like i did, it's not the end of the world tho! it's more money obv, but this major has been much easier for me n i've made way more friends in informatics than i ever made in engineering

apply for disabilities if you think you'll need accommodations! i originally tried to go without them n realized that i was depriving myself of resources for no reason. having extra time on assignments n exams improved my grades bc i could take the time i needed!

Friendship Stuff:

compliment ppl on things like their fashion, hair, phone cases, pins, or backpacks! this is a great way to start a conversation and get a conversation flowing and i have had multiple friendships start just by giving a compliment and then continuing to chat from there

start/join campus discord servers! it's a great way to meet ppl in your classes or your building. i've made multiple friends thru discord servers for my classes, and you also get to work thru assignments or clarify things together

hang-outs don't have to be big plans. you can just msg ppl if they wanna get food at the dining hall n sometimes that'll evolve into a bigger hang-out if you end up wanting to go do smth after!

Mental Health Stuff:

if you're living in the dorms, you'll probably feel rlly scared/sad on your first night or even first few nights abt being on your own n such. both myself and my therapist sobbed our first nights in the dorms! but it'll get better n you'll feel more confident doing things by yourself/being away from home as you go

the first year can be rlly tough to adjust to. i was so depressed i was sometimes peeing in my trashcan bc i couldn't get myself out of bed. now, i'm doing much much better! as you go, you'll get better at your time management skills and knowing your limits and coping w frustration/anxieties

as much as possible, go to events on campus. go to plays, movie nights, clubs, concerts, craft nights, game nights etc. n don't feel afraid to do it by yourself! it's fun to have things to look forward to and get yourself out of the dorm and making sure that you're eating meals (bc if you're already out, you might as well eat)

[multi-fan-dom-madness]

Yeeeeeeess

Nav: 👗🌼💌🦸‍♀️🥘🍁

And for a little treat:

Clone Boys: 👀

I have asked so much but I need to knooowwww

Take your time, Ily 🌙🔮

ahhh yessss thank you so much, Hex, for asking all of these wonderful questions. answers below the cut because this got away from me 😂😅

Nav:

👗 Describe their style

when they worked on Coruscant before joining the GAR, they 100% rocked the thrifted light academia aesthetic, but it never fully fit their personality.

on the run from the Empire, and just in everyday life, they are much more prone to utilitarian, functional garments in neutral tones. sleeveless tunic belted over utility pants, with steel-toed boots and their trusty backpack. they steal one of Hunter's old bandanas and tie it around their bicep; Hunter loves it. and of course once they settle on Pabu, they start wearing more tank tops and shorts, soft-bottom shoes, a shark-tooth necklace that Omega crafts.

used to have long hair, but cut it really short when they joined the GAR and just never grew it out again.

they also have a single tattoo, a complementary pair to one that Arien had, on their ribs: a deadly cactus flower native to Iridonia. (Arien's was a sketch of Umate, the mountain peak on Coruscant.)

🌼 Assign them an aesthetic

alright take all of the above and now consider: space grunge

💌 How would they react to a love letter?

sorry my first thought here is the fact that Hunter would write said love letter and now I've made myself squee

anyways. on topic. I think the circumstance would be something like, Hunter writes a letter for Nav and leaves it for them to find somewhere, so it's a surprise. like, at the bottom of their pack (because we all know how often Nav cleans that out... 👀). & then reading it they'd need to sit in case they swoon, the paper held in one hand while the other is clasped over their mouth to hide their smile. definitely blushes. depending on how sappy Hunter got while writing, Nav may or may not tear up.

& then immediately tackle Hunter into a giant hug and smother him with kisses.

🦸‍♀️ What would they dress as for Halloween?

Nav would totally talk Hunter into couples' costumes--and of course that means Omega's costume is also themed, which probably means everyone else's as well. the squad as bowling pins and Omega as a bowling ball?

but for one year, Hunter and Nav make sure that their costumes match each other's and only each other's. Hunter as a werewolf and Nav as a werewolf hunter 👀

🥘 Favorite food?

this depends. if we're talking like, most nostalgic, then it's definitely the beef stew and crusty bread that the matron of the orphanage made on a regular basis. a whole big vat of the stew and the huge ovens made the entire building always smell so good.

but now as an adult, their favorite is the salad that Shep taught them to make on Pabu. starfruit and berries, nuts, crumbly cheese, and a decadent oil-based dressing. filling, sweet, and savory all in one.

that, or Hunter's meat pies. Hunter totally learns that he loves to cook once they all settle down on Pabu.

🍁 Their favorite season and why?

alright hc time: Coruscant doesn't have seasons, & Pabu basically has 2: hot and hotter. Iridonia is probably the same, though it gets chilly at night. therefore, Rintonne is the one planet that Nav has been to relatively frequently enough to experience four seasons. their favorite is by far autumn, with spring coming in second. there's something about transitory periods, life in flux, that just Hits Different for Nav. spring is in second place because allergies lmao.

Clone boys:

👀 How do they look like? Give an overall description of them

ohohoho strap in, here we go

387th Battalion, 13th Sector Army

Commander Creed. he presents a very stern, disciplined facade that intimidates shinies and civvies alike, but in reality he's very soft and compassionate. it's what makes him such a strong leader. he's unafraid to voice his opinion when he believes his Jedi General is making a foolish or wrong move, but is humble enough to admit when he's wrong. well-trimmed beard and mustache, undercut with a mop of dark curls. there's a scar from an errant blaster bolt during commando training, that streaks down the left side of his face. he has a tattoo under his left pec that reads 'for the people' in blocky Basic letting--that is his creed. he has a second tattoo on his right hip of his battalion's mascot (pls don't ask me what this is, idk yet).

Captain Static, Shatter Company. earned his name because when he was a cadet, he always pretended to talk on the radios with sound effects (*cksh* come in, command, *cksh*). he's a little bit naive, but very loyal and values intelligence. he often volunteers his company for recon missions, having trained them specially to communicate effectively. he's clean-shaven, with a stud nose piercing and regulation haircut.

Captain Flare, Phoenix Company. loves, loves, loves flare guns and will pout (mostly in jest these days) if he doesn't get the chance to pop one off at least once during a campaign. he's loud and unapologetic, a little cocky, but he does genuinely mean well and respects the hell out of anyone who can outwit his twin, Seg. with a permanent five o'clock shadow, brilliant white teeth, and that one perfect curl that always rests so nicely on his forehead, he's hot and he kriffin' knows it.

Captain Seg, Flare's twin, commanding officer of Angel Company. Seg is a little bit more withdrawn and quiet than Flare, but no less quick-witted--and quick-tempered. he often waits for an opening in his enemy's forces rather than making an opening himself (he leaves that to Shatter & Phoenix Companies). this is both in terms of battle tactics and verbal sparring. often known for silently observing conversations or debates, and drops one-line zingers that leave the entire table slack-jawed and/or in uproarious laughter. he's the most "reg" looking of the captains, but don't let that fool you.

Captain Drifter, of Hollow Company. Drifter is an old grumpy man at heart, rather pessimistic, but can be charming and suave when the occasion arises. something of a social chameleon, often chosen for diplomatic missions alongside the General. he's sarcastic but genuine, a balance he learned early on how to maintain, and it's gotten him into trouble as much as out of it. he has ear piercings, a septum ring, and a huge geometric tattoo sleeve on his right leg; and sometimes lets his hair grow out to about shoulder length.

Bonus boys! Hotshot and Screwball, ARC troopers, who featured briefly in Second Chances. Hotshot has a buzzcut and goatee, vitiligo, a rough hand-drawn star tattoo beneath his left eye, and a scar across the bridge of his nose. Screwball has long hair that he keeps tied back in a low bun, and a scar along the right side of his face. both Hotshot and Screwball are pranksters (and don't get me started on when they have shore leave with Screwball's twin, Misfit), but very, very good at their jobs. they specialize in destabilizing the enemy from behind enemy lines, often using their chaotic impulses to their advantage.

anyways thanks again so much, Hex, for letting me ramble about my blorbos 💖💖

[smolghostbot]

The One Without A Name

I haven't had the brainspoons to do writing recently because of a fun medical situation, but I miss posting writings of my silly little fellas (gender neutral) so I decided I wanted to post a part of their first meeting story that I've (mostly) edited, specifically the part of the story that actually gives Patch their nickname.

(I keep mentioning the full story... I swear it'll happen, I'm just very much an "edit the whole thing first" type of writer. Most of Spring is done except a few scenes... but the whole thing is a mess editing-wise.)

Context: This happens not long after Melody realizes Patch is mute, and is one of the first times they manage to communicate.

Word Count: 500ish Character bios in my pinned post

CW for the vaguest possible mention of Patch's backstory and associated abuse (Literally one line). Warning just in case.

======

"What are you pointing at?" As they looked closer to the tiny backpack, they noticed what appeared to be a different fabric sewn on, with some kind of… unusual symbols written on. The little thing pointed repeatedly to himself, and then the writing.

Her disappointment was obvious as she spoke her next words. "That's… your name… isn't it?"

The small creature seemed to be somewhere between excited and nervous as they hesitantly nodded, obviously seeing the lack of recognition on Mel's face.

"I…" They sigh before continuing, "I have no idea what that says, little cutie."

Melody picked up one of their books and pointed to an arbitrary passage of text, making sure the little one could see it. "Can you… read these words? Any of them?"

The tiny being's large ears drooped in disappointment and he shook his head sadly, as Melody's own expression mirrored his. This was about to make things much more complicated.

"Okay, well, I can't just keep calling you 'little cutie'... even though you totally are, you need some kind of name. Maybe I can try to guess? What about… Gilbert? Linus? Derwin? Stop me if any of these are close to your name."

. . .

The completely blank response they got from the little being said everything Mel needed to know.

"Yeah, you're right, this is stupid. This would be so much easier if I could just read your little backpack patch…"

-

The human's face seemed to light up as they said that, to the confusion of the sprite.

"Wait a second… that sounds cute… what about Patch? Just- Just as a nickname. Until we can figure out a better way to communicate. If you like it, of course."

At this unexpected politeness, the sprite nodded their head enthusiastically. Truthfully, the name didn't sound that bad… especially compared to Derwin. And though there's no real magic behind them, names do have a certain power when it comes to empathy, something that they hoped would work on this human. They remember how the last human refused to call them anything other than… … they didn't exactly get named.

"Perfect! Well then, it's nice to formally meet you, Patch. I guess I never introduced myself, it's… probably safe to do that. You tried to tell me your name, after all. You may refer to me as Melody, or Mel," the human stated, in a slightly odd manner, as she gave as much of a curtsy as possible while sitting in a chair wearing a t-shirt.

[in-my-shifting-era]

Some Days Are Harder Then Others

Eddie Munson (Angst that ends with lots of Fluff)

Warning: talk of the death of a parent and grief. Some mature language.

Summery: Reader is having a hard time with some personal issues and is canceling plans with Eddie and he wants to get to the bottom of why that is.

Authors Note: As someone who has experienced parent loss this is a bit self indulgent.Also my messages are open to anyone who has lost a loved one and needs someone to talk to. I may have cried writing this so be warned.

———————————————————————————————————

Grief is a bitch, that’s the easiest way to put it. They say it gets easier with time but after 7 years the wound still bleeds. Losing a parent at age 11 make’s grieving complicated and isolating. The loss becomes part of who you are and that means sharing the news with new friends and even partners that come into your life.

Eddie knew about your father’s passing from when it happened in middle school. Word traveled fast after administration was told and you where absent from school for 2 weeks only returning after the funeral service. He was one of the few kids that didn’t walk on egg shells around you when you came back.

You sat alone at lunch on your first day back. Eddie invited himself and sat with you. He immediately talked your ear off about the cool new pin you were wearing on your backpack. The pin belonged to your dad. It was from some band he liked and wore on a hat. Now it was one of the few things you had to remember him by. Eddie made a day that was destined to be hard and uncomfortable a day you met your best friend.

Eddie always let you grieve freely, he encouraged it actually. He’d ask you to tell him stories of your late father and he even gave you flowers on the anniversary of his death every year for you to put on his grave. You slowly fell for the metal head in your years of friendship leading up to a relationship your senior year.

Eddie likes to claim he repeated his senior year three times just so he could graduate with you. Now that you are finally graduating Eddie has stepped up his academic efforts to have at least a solid “C” in each class to pass. You study with him most nights and actually get him to do his homework with lots of breaks for cuddles and snacks.

So when you canceled your usual celebratory ice cream date for passing your math test on Wednesday with Eddie due to a headache he wasn’t hurt just concerned. Then you told him you had to watch your neighbors kid after school Thursday he was bummed but let it slide. His final straw was when you didn’t show up to school at all on Friday. He knew something was up and he was going to find out just what it was.

He completely ditched school after first period when he learned you had never shown up to class from Gareth. All the awful scenarios plagued his brain as to what could be happening with you. Did your car break down?Where you sick? Did you wanna break up with him and where avoiding him at all costs?

His mind raced until he made it to your house and seeing your moms car in the drive way. He put his van in park and practically ran to your front door knocking a little too eagerly. Your mom opened the door quickly and smiled softly when she saw Eddie with a worried expression on his face. He gave her a polite smile before he spoke. “Hello Miss y/ln, is y/n home? She never came to school today.”

Your mom actually really liked Eddie. Even before he was officially your boyfriend she always thought he was so polite and sweet. “Hi Eddie. She did stay home. She’s been having a rough few days and I told her to take a day off. She didn’t tell you she wouldn’t be coming in? You two are joined at the hip I figured you already knew.”

Eddie frowned at the thought of you not telling him something was wrong. Your mother caught on to this and spoke again. “She tells you everything doesn’t she? I actually had to pry this one out of her myself. She’s been missing her dad a lot lately. I think the thought of graduating without him around has finally sunk in.”

Eddie’s heart felt like it had completely shattered hearing that. He gave your mom a soft smile as he rocked on his feet gently. “I think I know where to find her now. Thank you.” She sent him off with a knowing nod and smile. She watched as Eddie walked back to his van and started on his way to find you.

Hawkins cemetery was a few miles from your house. Not an easy walk so he figured you drove. He was proven right when he could see your car from the entrance of the cemetery. He parks his car just outside the gate and walks in knowing how to get to your father’s grave from visiting with you before.

You sat by the grave marked with your father’s name. Tears stain your cheeks as you pick at grass that surrounds the garnet stone. “Graduating should be exciting right? All the bull shit of high school is almost over and all I can think about is that you won’t be in the crowd watching me walk across that stage. Ready to give me flowers like you always did when I accomplished something.” You wipe another fallen tear as you bring your knees to your chest.

Eddie finally makes it to where your sat, your shaky voice now clear as he approaches you. He goes to announce his presence but stops when you softly continue your talk. “Eddie’s going to be with me though. I know you never got to meet him but I think you’d really like him Dad. He makes me really happy and he treats me like a gentleman. Just like you always told me I deserve.”

A wide smile quickly finds its way to Eddie’edds face as he hears you talk about him to your father. He knows you like to catch him up on all the things going on, good and bad. His heart sores knowing he is something good in your life. Eddie steps closer and his feet meeting the grass close to where you’re sat. “Mr y/ln, I’ll do everything I can to get her those flowers for walking across that stage. She deserves it, for getting me there too.”

You look behind you quickly recognizing Eddie’s voice immediately. Seeing him makes all the confusing emotions flood over and your eyes fill with tears. “Eds .” You’re quickly enveloped in a huge as Eddie joins you where you’re sat in the grass letting you cry into his shoulder. “I’m sorry if I interrupted your time with him.” Eddie rubs your back gently as he speaks knowing how it calms you down.

You shake your head again his shoulder and attempt to steady your shaking breathing. “You’re not interrupting. I’m sorry I disappeared lately.” Eddie pulls you back a bit, only enough to be able to wipe your fallen tears. “You don’t have to apologize for anything princess. You are aloud to feel your emotions however you see fit. Just know I’ll be here for you. Even when the ugly grief clouds cast over head.”

You give your boyfriend a small smile and a nod laying your head against his chest gently. “I’m pretty sure you heard what I said about you to him. I ment it. He would have really liked you Eddie.” You take his calloused hand into yours and play with his rings gently. Something that has always soothed you.  Eddie pulls you closer to his chest. “I still aim for his approval you know. He may not be here to scare me straight into treating his daughter right but I still do everything I can to be a man he’d be happy to have stolen his daughters heart.”

You pull back gently and cup Eddie’s face with your hands and smile widely up at him. “ I don’t know how I get so lucky to find a guy like Eddie Munson but I’m not letting you go. Got it.” Before Eddie can even respond your crash your lips into his. He kisses you back instantly and pulls away after a short moment. “I’m not going anywhere princess. You’re kinda stuck with me.” Eddie tightens his grip around you gently and kisses all over your face making you giggle loudly.

Once he stops he lets you catch your breath and he smiles down at you. “I heard something about getting you flowers at graduation? Do I get a bouquet for myself as well?” You roll your eyes playfully at his comment and lay against him as you talk about graduation and make plans for what will happen that day. Your dad being involved in every step of the way.

[briancocksofficial]

Hi! Katsu here. I can’t say I ever read much ‘fan fiction’, but one of the Tradies told me all about it and showed me one on his phone. It was super weird… Anyway, I thought I’d try writing my own ‘fan fiction’ of myself, I hope you all enjoy it! Title: Rose Of My Heart (Katsu x Reader)

You’re hanging out in the local cafe one day when you see a mysterious and attractive stranger sitting in the corner. I’m wearing a sexy gamer shirt that says “DO NOT DISTURB - GAMING MODE IN PROGRESS” and you feel sad when you read it, because if you were going to approach me and confess your love for me, you would have to ignore the warning on the T-shirt. The T-shirt also makes my bulging muscles look so handsome. Sighing, you buy a drink, and you sit in the cafe, admiring me from afar.

Then, suddenly, I put on a hoodie, and you realise that this is your chance! You can confess your love for me, this mysterious stranger, now that my T-shirt is no longer keeping you away. So, blushing, you make your way to my table, where I’m busy looking at pictures of Cumulative Undying Momentum characters. “E-e-excuse me,” you say nervously. I look up, my beautiful eyes piercing your soul. “Yes, beautiful, what is it?” “Y-you think I’m beautiful?” you ask. “Of course, from the moment you walked in to this cafe I realised you were so beautiful. Only a truly beautiful woman would have a Cumulative Undying Momentum pin on her backpack.” You’re astounded and flattered by my perceptiveness. “K-katsu,” you say, blushing. “I have something to confess.” “What do you want to confess, my sweet?” “I’m in love with you!” You hide your face shyly. “Y/N…” I touch your cheek sensitively. “I’m in love with you too. You’re like the rose of my heart.” Then, we kiss passionately, and our tongues battle for dominance. Eventually, my tongue wins, and you pull away, heart pounding faster than a racing car. “That was perfect,” you say. “I’m so glad I confessed my love to you.” We sit down together, and I show you all the Cumulative Undying Momentum pictures on my phone. You’re very impressed. Eventually, it’s closing time at the cafe, so we have to leave. Outside the cafe door, you hold my hand. “U-um, Katsu…” you ask. “Do you think… maybe… we could play some games together?” “I would love nothing more,” I say, and we go back to my house to play video games for the rest of the night.

[moonssugar]

10, 16, & 20 for the pride asks please! :)

20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?

lets start off with 20 because its defintely the funniest lmaoooo

my main character sam is transmasc (a trans boy) and my tertiary protag is a lesbian (aubry) and she discovers this as the story goes out and let me to tell you there is nothing more hilarious than 1. writing and thinking extensively about how your character is a lesbian and pouring so much into that while being in total denial about yourself and 2. discovering even more about your own inwards trans feelings by giving your transmasc oc 90% of your personality and also through metaphor and symbolism by making a lot of the story a trans analogy. but wait, the character i see the most of myself in, sam, is transmasc but aubry, the second character i see so much of myself in, is a lesbian so how can these seemingly contradictory things be true simultaneously you ask? well it turns out that im a transmasc lesbian. who couldve saw that coming, right? (me. i saw this coming). still the funniest fucking thing about me like "yeah go ahead and tell yourself a story and accidently awaken something in yourself, this will be so funny and cool" and honestly it is so cool! one of the most writing things ive ever done

10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?

yes they do! sam has been to a local pride parade/event at some point with his parents (who are bi4bi). he also has a trans flag hanging up in his room that dual functions as a symbol of pride and also a window curtain that turns his room pink and blue at certain times of the day (its intentional). chelsie celebrates pride as well, mostly through self expression like with her clothing and style but she loves pride events too and collecting little pride themed objects that end up in random places. i feel like chelsie's way of celebrating pride is chaotic and spontaneous which suits her. both of them have pride themed bracelets and backpack pins, you know the baby queer stuff i love (i still love the baby queer stuff idc) and sam has trans, bi and rainbow themed tie dye shirts he made and loves to wear. aubry has never seen any pride flag or been to an event and she didnt even know gay people existed as well people and not the boogyman or theoretical person she heard about in church until she realized she was gay and met other queer people (and she literally has two dads LOL). but once she does she cant get enough of rainbows and the lesbian flag which in the alternate universe world where shes from no one knows its meant to symbolize queerness. so she gets to walk around with flags and colors that no one recognizes except her and her family. its hilarious, its her own "no one knows im a lesbian" pin. they just think shes from a different country or something (where all the pretty girls are from). sam and chelsie gifted her a lesbian flag through their mail system once she returned home and she cherishes it. mostly, i'd say my characters celebrate pride through living, being who they want to be and uplifting each other amd they love their glitter, music, make up, tie dye shirts, flags and rainbows too

16. Did you ever change an oc's identity when they were already established? Why?

my character's queer identities have been pretty solid since inception and through their development, its one of the things that have changed the least about them. sam used to be some flavor of trans/nonbinary but there are other nonbinary characters in my story now and sam ids with transmasc the most instead of nonbinary. chelsie has always been transfem as far as i can remember although i mightve imagined her cis one single time and then said "nah im gonna trans your gender no way in hell youre cis" when i didnt feel connected to her characterization [transgenderfication beam]. and aubry has remained gay as hell even as she started off as a completely different person that split into two then i used one half of the personality, refurbished it by gave it some religious trauma, pining and autism to create modern aubry then used the other half for something else. everyone else's personalities have started at the surface level idea of who i think they are and deepened and complexified from there and thats even more intricate than i could describe in one sitting and not always specifically about their queer identity

oh i almost forgot! one character (benjamin, aubry's father) has a bi panic awakening after he went through life identifying as gay and instead of a guy being the source of the panic it was aubry's mother (valid, i'd panic if i saw her too). his character started off as gay but aubry didn't hatch from a magic egg or grow from a pumpkin in a patch or fall to earth like a shooting start (amos's many joke versions of the birds and bees, amos is married to benjamin and is her dad #2) so i needed an explanation for that. he also discovers he's polyamorous in the process so good for him! other characters have become noticeably less cis over time but were already kinda gender weird to begin with if i squinted hard enough. like are you really cis if im writing you? be fr

also, sam's parents in my mind

[estrellami-1]

That is a very cute fic (though all of yours are💜) it’s adorable that you based that off of how you feel I really like the line about not being the first to discover it but getting it to discover it for myself, I’ve been to slam poetry events they are very fun I feel like I read so many beautiful lines in poetry online and they stick with me to the point I think about them often and it kind of puts the author on a pedestal a bit but seeing someone speaking their poetry to you and a crowd of people in person is so vulnerable that it allows you to see them as just a person in a really beautiful way, like yes their work is brilliant but they’re also dealing with things the same way you are and trying their best and filled with emotions it’s a privilege to be able to know them as more than their writing, like it’s a privilege to get to know you like this. I also backpacked around Italy a few years ago and it was the most magical experience, the Acosta valley is so beautiful and I hiked gran paradiso national park which was stunning highly recommend but you’re right the cost of living is already crazy 😅

I write poetry sometimes mostly just as a way to get my feelings out of my head I post them to my tumblr but they don’t do numbers or anything, like probably 8 years ago or so I posted some of them to an old ao3 account but i can’t remember what i had called it for the life of me, I have an idea for a book that I would really like to write one day, it started out as an after Cinderella kind of thing where people expect you to be happy and perfectly fine when you find something good and get out of a bad situation but you’re still going to carry the pain from that bad situation so it was going to be from her perspective and recovering from the trauma she experienced growing up anf learning to live with ptsd but I’ve written bits and pieces of it nothing major but along the way it kind of lost the Cinderella princess aspect of it and just became kind of a combo my story/original character story kind of thing if that makes sense 💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you darling ❤️ I have some poetry on here, I believe… I think it’s the links in the last paragraph on my pinned post. I’ll try and go through them in a moment and make sure 😂

Slam poetry events are SO fun, I love them!!! There’s a book I read in college called “The Poet X” and I HIGHLY recommend it especially if you like spoken word poetry!!! It very very quickly became a favorite of mine, partially just because it’s good (and partially bc it’s a Latina girl lmao) but also partially because I wasn’t aware that type of writing could become a book. I would absolutely LOVE to do something like that one day!

And I know what you mean, about authors and pedestals. I did the same thing too, a few times, with certain authors on here… but then we got to talking and it turns out they’re literally just people?? Which was honestly so fun to find out 😂 there’s a line I wrote for a fic a while ago (Marvel, if you are/were into that) that I think honestly applies perfectly here. “Put those stars in your eyes back in the sky where they belong. I’m not worth all that.” And honestly… it’s true. Putting someone on a pedestal only makes it hurt that much more when they inevitably fall, because we’re all only human and we’re gonna do dumb crap sometimes.

I have… a lot of feelings about that apparently 😂

Can I have your life???? Please???? 😂 Italy sounds SO fun… I was able to go to Hawaii once and that was nice but I don’t even like the beach/ocean! I got stung by a jellyfish!! My favorite memory there was going on a hike!!! 😂 take me to Colorado I swear. My family’s trying to decide where to go on vacation this year (if it actually happens, that is) and my sister LOVES the beach and wants to go, but we’ve gone SO MUCH and my family KNOWS I don’t like the beach and just. Don’t seem to care? Idk. At this point it’s kinda whatever. But I did suggest skiing this winter since we’ve never been 😂

Ooh honestly I’d love to read all of that!!! I LOVE poetry (like honestly it confused the hell out of me how some people just… don’t understand poetry? What??? 😂)(my favorite is Langston Hughes… how about you?) and I would LOVE to read that Cinderella-ish story, that sounds SO interesting!!! And yes lmao I’ve definitely started a story before, added OCs, and it turned into 6 parts (literally, in the case of my Solangelo series “This Love” on ao3 😂)

Two questions this time, if you don’t mind, darling: how old are you? Where do you live?

It’s more than fine if you’re not comfortable sharing either, or if you want to just share a general range; I understand wanting privacy, I’m mostly just trying to ensure you’re above 18, and as for where you live, I’m strictly curious as to the time difference; I’m in Texas, so it’s currently 12:24am. I just know last night (was it last night? 😂) I answered one at like 10 and you were mentioning how tired you were… so either you’re on one of the coasts (I can’t for the life of me figure out which one that would be at the moment 😂) or you’d had an early morning… or you have a decent sleep schedule, unlike me! 😂 my bedtime is routinely around 12-2am, which is why I’m constantly answering these at all hours of the night. 😂 ❤️

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3080

i'm happy to report im feeling a bit better.

i took another home test for covid but this one came back negative, so i'm gonna test again in two days to check if it's correct. either way, i was feeling a little better today than before.

i also? woke myself up? because i bit my arm??? i was being held in one place against my will and it was too much so i but my captors arm that was right in my face and i woke up because that was MY arm that i bit. thankfully it didn't bruise. geez.

i put the pin backs on my pins on my backpack today. it was an easy task i'd been meaning to do so i emptied my backpack and replaced the backings. now even my buttons won't fall off.

joel's first day was today. i hope to see him later this week.

i hope i can stick to my plans tomorrow. i want to write and i need to make phone calls about my insurance, and i have at least half a dozen employees to say "hi there. what i need done is something you don't get paid enough to do. please forward me to your manager, and have a wonderful day" to.

but i'm still fucking exhausted.

time for sleeping.

[victorianerawild]

I don’t find the time to journal currently. I rarely ever do, but currently it becomes obvious to me every single day.

When I was younger I would fill notebooks, word documents, tumblr blogs and scrapbooks with my thoughts. Every single impression life gave me had its place, scribbled down on a napkin that I later pinned to my wall, carefully framed in between calendar rows or leisurely written down in my diary.

I have lost my excitement for writing the same moment I lost my excitement for noticing what was happening around me. When my curiosity and hunger for life were replaced by such utter, gut wrecking fear, noticing my surroundings became a chore. Experiencing became such a chore. Feeling became such a chore.

I’ve been fighting my brain for years now and I can finally, fucking finally feel myself being in control of it. Not in the harsh way that was never gonna work but in the soft way that leaves room for me to work through my thoughts and let them be at the same time, to acknowledge my feelings but not be drowned by them.

I feel like I’m a tiny seed that’s been making its way through the dirt and is timidly granted the first few rays of sunshine. It feels like the saturation around me has been turned up. I can allow myself to feel joy again and to find emotion in everything that happens.

And I want to write it all down. I want to take screenshots of every single conversation I’m having, I want to take pictures and fill books with them. I want to tell stories about how I cried today because I saw an elderly woman walk out the hospital in tears, I want to write about how I got chocolate from my friend during our lecture, how I was in awe because my roommate showed me Hamilton, how I was hurting for a friend who’s being treated awfully, how I talked to my mum for two hours on the phone, how many cool things I’ve learned in biology. I want to copy paste every single message the beautiful human I’m dating sends me, I want to frame our conversations so I’ll never forget them, I want to write about how I’ve rediscovered oatmeal for breakfast after hating it for 5 years because I ate it too much while backpacking, about how I’m worried for my best friend because she’s struggling so much and I can’t seem to find a way to talk to her properly, about how cold it is outside, about that I started reading again, about our friends moving in next door, about our neighbor’s cats, about how I was woken up by the police the other day because I had parked my car wrong and talked to the officer while period-bleeding through my pants, about enjoying my body again, about my new tattoo, about meeting my friend’s families and loving everything about it, about the beautiful friendship I’m forming with the girl I once dated now, about me finding out how to be honest to myself, about December 25th, about celebrating new years eve in the bathtub drinking wine, about dancing in our kitchen, about walks down to the park, about white chocolate with coconut and almonds, about which parts I still dislike and learned to like about my being.

My lust for life has always been a hunger for stories. And it’s coming back in full force ♥️

[pearbody-squareheads]

1/12/22 (385 words)

11.659 words, 36 pages

Nico appears.

Last year I made a special piece for tyler's birthday, one of the most noted drawings of mine. This year... lack of time, lack of interest in top- I simpli don't need them in this period, and have grown up, I opened myself to more and new artists- and didn't do anything. Actually, the last piece I started is still sitring there in my tablet unfinished after 2 months at least.

I decided to do a 30 days photography challenge. But day one is portrait... and I'm not going to post my face on tumbrl. So I need to think about what could represent me, as a portrait. Like, items. Hmmm.

There. Here I my "nest", in the kitchen, where I work and write and spent the majority of my time. My laptop, where I write and wrote for the last 3.5 years and here is Fatherfire opened. Backpack, got last year, first that I chose since first grade and not just adopted out of necessity. The Trash pin from the SAI box I got for my birthday last year, it has been on the backpack for the entire last school year. Worn out headphones, now old and barely bearable, they'll be changed in a matter of days or weeks. The electronic engineering bookmark I took from the Poli stand one or two months ago in that half-hellish event. My cds, I'm planning on making the pile grow, even though I sont use them much, but I love having the physical things in my hands instead of having the world in the phone (spotify). The Vans box, where I keep my important memoirs. The lace with no less than 40 metal tongues from cans of redbull, monster and few other drinks. My most used and oldest cargo pants, in service since 2019. I think there's pretty much all the worthy stuff.

Day 1: portrait.

[dancer24]

my hero

hi! i don't usually write much but this idea popped into my head the other day and i couldn't get it out until i wrote this so hope u enjoy! :) (this was written with tom's peter in mind but can be read for any)

parings: peter parker x reader (use of y/n)

warnings: a little cursing, tiny bit of SA description, and slight description of injury

word count: 1.9k

summary: you and peter had been friends forever and you always walked home together from school. one day he has somewhere else he has to be, but nothing can go wrong, right?

comments/likes/reblogs are greatly appreciated :)))

...

you and peter always walked home from school together. he would always walk you to your apartment and then he'd head home. he was sweet that way.

today however, he had told you that he had do something for the 'stark internship', meaning he had to go help tony out with something. 

peter came up to you in the hallway before 1st period to relay the news; "hey y/n! i'm sorry but i can't walk you home today, i gotta do something for the internship right after school. you'll be okay though right? promise me you'll be safe?" 

"pete you know i'm always safe, and don't worry about me when you have tony stark calling you for help" you laughed. "but you'll call me if anything happens right?" he says worriedly. "of course peter you know i will. but seriously i'm fine i can handle myself, im a big girl" you said and winked at him.

peter blushed and responded, "ok ok fine, you’re right. i wonder what tony needs me for today, do you think it's a mission? or maybe just some lab stuff? oooo i wonder if it's something with all the other avengers, that would be so cool!”. you stopped him before he could ramble any more, "pete i have a math test that i really can't be late to right now so i gotta go, see you at lunch!" you say as you turn to leave.

"ok bye y/n/n! good luck!" he yells after you.

...

school was finally over, and your math test had gone well (you hoped) and you started your walk home. you took out your phone to text peter that you were on your way to your apartment, then put it back into your pocket and continued on your way.

you were about 10 minutes away from your building when you felt someone following you. you thought you were paranoid at first and told yourself it was nothing and to ignore the uneasy feeling that came over you. however, after a few seconds you turned to look over your shoulder and sure enough, there was a tall man following you about 20 feet behind. you tried not to freak out to not make him aware that you'd seen him, so you slightly increased your pace just enough so he wouldn't notice, but he did. he started to pick up his pace too, so you went even faster to try to get away from him. 

at this point you were almost sprinting, but he was so much taller that he quickly reached you once you'd begun to run. he grabbed you by the backpack and yanked you back into the nearest alley. he pulled off your bag and threw it to the side and grabbed your arm to try and pin you against the wall. you squirmed in his grip and tried to break free, which only made him angry and you felt him pull something out of his pocket. 

he turns you around and pushes your back against the wall, and you come face to face with a large, sharp knife. your eyes widen as you stare in shock at the blade and the man smirks down at you. you try to scream for help, to get away before he can hurt you, "HELP, SOMEONE PLEASE! PETER HE-" the man slaps a big hand over your mouth and glares at you. "we can't have any screaming from you now can we little lady, we don't want anybody hearin ya" he sneers. you struggle against his grip as he stares down at you, "if i take my hand away there better be no screaming from you unless you want to get hurt okay?" he says as you slightly nod your head.

he lets go of you mouth and pushes you by your chest, back into the wall and he puts the knife up to your throat. "if you try to push me or scream or do anything that i don’t like, i will kill you, understand?" he asks with an evil smile. "yes" you say shakily, afraid you'll upset him, "good" he replies, "you're a pretty one, aren't you?" he rasps. you feel a hand start to touch you and pull at the waistband of your pants, but you’re too frozen in fear to move at all. 

you mentally brace yourself for what's to come as you squeeze your eyes shut, but nothing happens. you open your eyes to see spiderman punching the man who's now on the ground and you watch as he gets back up to fight. the man dashes over to you and pulls you in front of him and puts the knife back to your throat, "if you come near me i'll kill her!" he shouts at the masked hero. you try to pull yourself out of his grasp but his fingers are digging into your shoulder and you can't get away. spiderman puts his hands up in surrender and says, "okay okay fine, just let go of the girl and i won't touch you". he tightens his grip, "now why would do that spidey? your not gonna hurt me if she's right here, but if i let her go who knows what you'll try to do, and i'm not takin that chance" he sneers. "i'm not going to hurt you, just let her go alright?" the hero says, but before the man can yell anything back, he's being webbed to the wall. 

you yank yourself harshly out of his grip as soon as the first web is fired at him and you run to the other side of the alley and watch as spiderman restrains him, "you should really find better things to do dude, not cool". the concerned hero runs up to your cowering form in the corner, "holy shit y/n i'm so sorry this happened are you okay? i should've been there, i should've stopped him, i could've-" you cut him off, "hey, hey, hey, it's okay i'm okay. slightly terrified, but i'm okay" you reassure. peter takes off his mask, "i'm so sorry i wasn't there to protect you, you could've gotten hurt, or worse…” he trails off. you interrupt him, "but i didn't, okay? i'm here, you saved me, thank you so much pete" you say as you go to hug him. peter returns the hug, but he pulls away quickly; "we should get you home, let’s get outta here" he says. "yeah that's a good idea, lemme just go grab my backpack" you respond. 

you turn to walk towards your bag, but a sharp pain blossoms on your lower left side that stops you in your tracks. to your horror, you look down and see a giant crimson splotch on your shirt where you had felt the pain a moment ago. the man must’ve stabbed you with his knife when you pulled yourself away from him after peter showed up. your adrenaline must have masked the pain of the wound from you until it now that it was wearing off. "uhm peter?" you ask shakily as you turn to face him, "i think, um... i think somethings wrong" you manage to say before collapsing to the groud clutching your bleeding wound. peter rushes to your side and crouches in front of you, "oh my god, oh my- fuck y/n what the hell happened to not getting hurt? i- uh- can you stand?" he says quickly. "i-i don't think so pete, it hurts so bad what do i do?" you here yourself stammer out as you look up at him. peter's eyes bug and you can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to figure out what to do, "oh god, um, i- shit, i have to get you to mr. stark- they have a medbay in the tower where they can help you. i'm gonna have to swing us there" he says then looks at you. as you’re quickly losing blood, your eyelids are becoming heavier by the second, "m so tired peter. can- can i take a nap please?" you ask him. "nonono no naps y/n you gotta stay awake for me, okay?" peter responds in a panicked tone while picking you up. you wince as he shifts you in his arms, “i’m gonna swing us to the tower okay? please don't close your eyes i need you to stay awake, can you do that for me please y/n/n?" he says with tears welling up in his eyes. "i can't do it pete" you cry, your own tears now streaming down your face, "m so tired”. peter glances down at you in his arm while he swings, "almost there y/n/n please, you can do it, don't fall asleep now okay? we're so close" he says, voice quivering. the pain in your side is now too much to take as you say, "im sorry" as your eyelids flutter closed.

...

you slowly blink your eyes open to find that you don't recognize where you are. you start to sit up but a stabbing pain in your side stops you before you can pull yourself up. as your eyes scan the room to try and figure out where you are, you notice a familiar figure slumped over in a chair next to you. peter is sitting next to your bed in a stiff chair in what looks like the most uncomfortable position, with his messy hair that he's obviously been running his hands through, and deep dark circles under his eyes. your heart breaks a little when you realize that he must've been here all night sitting with you. just as your about to attempt to sit up again, peter stirs. "hey pete", you say, your voice only just above a whisper. "oh my god y/n your awake! are you okay? does anything hurt? do you need anything?" peter blurts out. "im okay now, a little banged up and sore, but i'm okay" you reply with a smile. "well you said that to me before, and then you fell to the the ground and passed out in my arms because you got stabbed sooo, i think i have reason to believe otherwise" he says with a concerned look “you scared the shit out of me” he finishes softly. you look away in embarrassment as you begin to recall the events of the previous night. "i'm so sorry that happened y/n, i should've been there, i should've protected you" peter says solemnly. "this is so not your fault peter don't even try for one second to blame yourself okay? tony needed you and that's way more important than walking me home, and besides you got there just in time and im here and im safe with you alright? you can't blame yourself because some asshole decided to be a disgusting pervert and attack a defenseless teenage girl for no reason. this is not on you peter, do not think for one second that it is” you respond strongly. peter just stares at you astonished with wide eyes.  you look up at him to meet his eyes, “thank you so much for being there when you were and saving me- i”, you pause and sigh sadly, “i could’ve died yesterday pete but i didn’t because of you, so thank you for being my hero” you say. peter looks at you and says, “you know i’ll always be there to protect you. i’m never letting anyone touch you ever again” he finishes with tears in his soft, kind brown eyes. you hesitate for a moment but then you look him in the eye and you say, “i love you peter” and he just stares back at you and grabs your hand and says, “and i love you y/n, more than you’ll ever know” as he leans in to connect your lips with his. 

…

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Birthday Wishes

June Drabbles 2022 Day 22 - Dandelions 

A/N:  I have been wanting to challenge myself to write a drabble a day for a whole month for quite some time now, and I finally decided to just go for it. The goal is to fill every prompt on this list by @creativepromptsforwriting with a short one shot (500 - 2k words) by the end of June. Can I do it? I do not know. But let’s find out! - This one is meant to be a Survivor Blues flashback, and I will be touching more on some of the topics brought up here as that series progresses, but it can also 100% be read as a stand alone piece. Joel and Ellie’s relationship is just really important to me, and I will take any chance that I can get to write more of it for them. <3 

** this one has spoilers for TLOU Part II ** 

Word Count: 2,488. still can’t stay under 2k to save my life. 

Warnings: language, mention of death, loss, grief, dishonesty. It’s a tad angsty but hopefully also a tad funny. *shrugs* 

Summary: Joel and Ellie spend the trek back to their campsite from the museum discussing their favorite part of the day that they spent there. 

“So, kiddo, what was your favorite part?” 

Joel looked over at Ellie as they headed back through the woods to where they’d left the horse and where they planned on making camp for the night. Behind them, the Wyoming Museum of Science and History had already been swallowed back up by the vines and greenery that had obscured the building until they were right in front of it, once again hidden to anyone who didn’t already know that it was there. Late afternoon sunlight trickled down through the canopy to glint off of the newest pin that Ellie had fastened to her backpack - the enamel space shuttle he’d presented her with as the two of them climbed out of the capsule - and though a portion of their trip had been marred by the hastily stenciled firefly symbol, the word Liars written on the wall beneath the dried drips of black paint that bled from the insect’s pointed wings, he couldn’t help the smile that came at the sight of the pin, already added to her collection. This was the right call. 

Ellie let out an amused huff, bringing both hands to her head and then spreading her fingers wide as she moved her arms away from herself. “Can I say all of it? Because the answer is all of it.” Her hands fell back to her sides, palms smacking against her denim clad thighs before coming up to grip the straps of her pack again. “The whole day was fucking amazing.”

A chuckle rumbled through his chest as he held back a pine branch so that she could pass without ducking under it. “No, you cannot say all of it. That’s cheating.” Sarah used to try that, too. Never wanted to winnow it down to one thing. The familiar twinge of pain that he felt every time he thought about her twisted in his chest, but it didn’t linger or deepen as he was immediately reminded of the way she would roll her eyes and give him a “fine” from the passenger seat of his truck before thinking and answering with whatever exhibit or demonstration stuck out the most to her. They are so much alike. 

“Ugh, okay. Gimme a minute to think then.” She skirted the bent branch, taking a few steps ahead of him. Once they were both clear, Joel released it, watching her footsteps. He shook his head, noting the way that the soles of her shoes had been worn almost completely flat. The treads were gone, the rubber so thin in places that it was a wonder he couldn’t see her socks. Maybe she did need a new pair of sneakers. 

“Take your time.” He followed until the space between trees was wide enough to walk side by side again, falling into stride with her as soon as it opened up. Depending on the distance, sometimes Sarah would use the entire ride home from whatever museum or attraction he’d taken her to to decide which part had been her favorite. Joel would glance over as he shifted gears or came to a stop at a red light to catch a look of severe concentration on her young face reflected back at him as she peered out the window, weighing the pros and cons of every moment to determine which one was best. The same place in his heart that had just stung with the pain of missing his daughter warmed at the way Ellie’s forehead furrowed in thought. So damn much alike. 

Nothing could ever erase the fact that Sarah was gone. No one would ever replace her. They both knew that. That was never what his and Ellie’s relationship had been about though, just as he would never be able to change the fact that the girl had lost her parents. But having her in his life gave him somewhere to focus the love and support he would have given Sarah until his dying day, kept him from falling back into the howling pit of anger and hate that he’d been treading water in for so long. And in return he did his best as a stand-in to make sure Ellie never felt abandoned, to give her some semblance of stability, to take as much off her shoulders as he could so that her burdens were light enough for her to experience real happiness from time to time. 

It was a good fit - not a perfect one, though. The word liars flashed in his mind again, as though he needed the reminder of what he’d done. But it was chased from his thoughts before it could take root as Ellie started to give her response. 

“Okay, so.” She sighed heavily, lifting one hand up to push the stray strands of hair that hung across her face out of her eyes. “Obviously climbing a motherfucking  dinosaur was awesome.” She ignored the less than half hearted attempt that Joel made to curtail her language, stepping over a fallen tree trunk and continuing on as though she hadn’t heard him even though he knew that she had. That’s a lost cause anyway. “And seeing all the skeletons?” She snickered. “Seeing all the skeletons wearing hats?” 

“Oh here she goes with the hats again.” He groaned as he lifted one leg and then the other to step over the log.  

“Uh, yeah, the hats were a major part of the experience, Joel.” He laughed at her inability to keep a straight face, her eyebrow jumping to betray the expression she was trying to suppress. She recovered quickly by using both index fingers to point at him, tilting her head in his direction. “Ooh, I also got to school you on space facts. That was pretty fun.” 

“You know, that was one of my favorite parts too, actually.” The trees thinned out, the forest giving way to a small clearing of tall grass edged in leggy weeds, the seedy white puffs of dandelions and wildflowers. Almost back at camp. 

Ellie let out an incredulous breath. “Really?” 

“Really.” He nodded. “I like it when you get all smartypants and serious about things.” She scoffed, reaching over to smack him lightly on the arm which brought out another laugh from both of them. “Hey, I ain’t jokin’, I mean it. You’re real bright, Ellie. NASA woulda been lucky to have you some day.” 

“Well thank you.” She accepted the compliment by tipping her nose up in the air and then twirling one hand in a dramatic circle, Joel snorting and rolling his eyes. This kid. “That actually brings me to my answer. About my favorite part of today?” 

“Oh, does it? What, the part where I tell you how smart you are? That’s y-” 

“No.” She cut him off. I know. That was a joke. “The part where I got to be an astronaut.” She stopped walking then, turning to face him as he did the same. “The part where you took me to the fucking moon, Joel. That tape?” She shook her head, eyes wide and focused on his. “No one’s ever done anything even close to something like that for me before.” 

He hadn’t been lying when he told her that finding the Apollo audio recording had taken a mighty effort. I started lookin’ for that thing soon as we got back to Jackson from the h- He swallowed. From Utah. The sloppy drips of black paint on the wall of the museum flashed in his mind and he cleared his throat. I did what I had to and I’d do it again.  

“Well I’m… real glad that you liked it, Ellie.” He sighed, smiling down at the girl he’d wanted nothing to do with at one point, who now stood as close to the center of his world as his own brother did. As close as anyone would ever come to where Sarah stood. “That was my favorite part, too.” He coughed to clear the residual emotion from his voice. “It’s too bad we didn’t see any shooting stars while we were in the space exhibit. You coulda made a birthday wish.” 

He started walking through the clearing then, Ellie following after he’d taken a few steps. “Did you know that shooting stars aren’t really stars?” 

Joel smiled, still looking straight ahead as she caught up. “They’re not?” 

“Nope. Just dust particles and rocks. They look like they’re glowing when they get into our atmosphere, but they’re not actually stars.” She shrugged. “So it’s kinda weird that we make wishes on a buncha space dust.” 

“Huh,” he mused. “That is kinda weird. But I guess a lot of things people make wishes on are a little strange.” 

That got her interested. “Oh yeah? What other weird crap did people used to make wishes on?” 

“Well, birthday candles, you know that one.” Ellie nodded. “I’m sure Maria’ll have one for you when we go over there for dinner tomorrow night, so make sure you think of a good wish before then.” The girl’s eyes widened as she blinked. Yeah, it’s not just me who wants to make your birthday special. “Um, let’s see what else. Oh, wells and fountains.” 

“What? Wells? Like, where water comes from?” She whacked at a patch of particularly tall grass as they made it to the center of the clearing. 

“Uh-huh. Well no, not where you’d get water for drinking. Specific wells just for wishing, I guess.” It is sorta dumb now that I’m having to explain it.  “Fountains were more common. You’d see ‘em in shopping malls and parks and things. People used to toss coins, pennies usually, into the water and make a wish.” 

“Wait, so people would just throw money away?” She let out a breath and made a face. “Where’d it all go?” 

“You know, I actually don’t have any idea. I think sometimes it was collected for charity? But,” he shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.” 

She snorted sarcastically. “Maybe they used it to build more wishing wells. So what else?” 

Joel laughed. “Maybe. Oh, here’s a good one. Chicken bones.” She scrunched up her face, shooting him a look of sheer disbelief, and he reacted by holding both palms up towards her. “Shit you not, there’s a bone in all chickens and turkeys and I guess all kinds of birds, looks like a Y.” He brought both pointer fingers together to make the shape of the letter. “You’d dry ‘em out and then two people would make wishes and pull ‘em apart, and whoever got the bigger piece? Their wish was supposed to come true.” 

“So then the other person is just outta luck?” He nodded. “I don’t like that. Makes it more of a competition. Wishes shouldn’t have winners and losers.”

He brought one hand up to scratch at his beard. “Yeah, I guess it does.” As he took another step he kicked at the tufted head of a cluster of dandelions. Oh, right. Bending down, he plucked a few and held them out to her. “These. You make a wish and then blow on ‘em and all the seeds scatter and your wish comes true.” 

“Yeah?” She took one of the puff balls from him. “Well then.” She pulled back her shoulders and closed her eyes, silently contemplating what to wish for. A few seconds passed before she released a forceful gust of air to send the seeds flying like a platoon of paratroopers. She opened her eyes and gave him a wide, toothy grin. “Okay, your turn.” 

What? “My turn?” He sputtered.  “It ain’t my birthday, kiddo, it’s yours.” 

“I’m feeling generous. I’ll share my wishes.” She bent down and picked another cloudy head of seeds, holding it out for him like he’d done for her. “So make sure it's a good one.”

Joel took the dandelion carefully, staring at the cluster of seeds. The only thing he’d ever really want to wish for was a complete impossibility, but it came to him anyway. I wish I had my baby girl back. He’d even take everything else just as it was - the outbreak, the end of civilization, all of it - if it meant letting her have the chance to grow up. The next thing that came to mind seemed like just as much a waste to wish for, just as much something that couldn’t be fixed or undone. I wish Ellie didn’t have to go through any of the shit she did. His eyes shifted from the weed in his hand to the scarred area on her forearm that he knew to be a healed and healthy bite from one of the Infected. I wish she never had that burden on her shoulders. He could have kept going like that, thinking of things that would be a waste of time to wish for. That I told her the damn truth about what really happened. That- 

“C’mon, Joel, what are you waiting for?” She nudged his elbow with hers. “Make a wish already.” 

I wish for her to have as much happiness as she can find in this world. 

He blew out a breath then, the seeds scattering into the warm breeze as Ellie whooped and cheered. “Nice! What’d you wish for?” 

“Can’t tell you.” He dropped the stem and brushed his hands together to remove a few seeds that clung to his calluses. “Won’t come true.” 

“Oh, come on.” She groaned, dipping her head back to look up at the sky. “I don’t believe in that. Here, I’ll tell you mine. I wished for-” 

“Ellie,” he warned, to no avail. 

“I wished for the dinosaurs to come back to life so they could chomp all the fucking Infected and then I could train them. Like dogs.” 

Despite the way that the old pain he carried in his chest had been twisted and tightened by the things he wished he could change, he found himself genuinely laughing once more at what she’d said. “Yeah? You think you could get a T-rex to roll over?” 

She shrugged. “If I gave him enough belly scratches? Probably. Now tell me what you wished for.” 

Joel narrowed his eyes, exhaling through his nose as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Nah,” he clicked his tongue. “Sorry, it’s too important to risk by telling you. I want it to come true, so I haveta keep it secret. Rules are rules.” 

“Ugh, fine, you win.” She rolled her eyes playfully, smiling the whole time. “So what other dumb superstitions did people have about wishes and birthdays?” 

“Well, where I grew up, the person whose birthday it was? They were responsible for findin’ all the firewood and getting the fire started, or-” He trailed off into a laugh as she called bullshit, and those five letters spray painted on the wall were suddenly the furthest thing from both of their minds as they continued through the clearing. 

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Thank you for reading! If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, please feel free to let me know or you can fill out the form on my masterlist.  

tags:  @something-tofightfor​ @littlemisspascal​ @mishasminion360​ @nyctophiliiiiaaa​ @practicalghost​ @amb11​ @mindidjarin​ @jk7789​ @tentacruels​ @harriedandharrassed @joelmillerscoffee​ @woodlandmouth​ @swtaura​ @grfields​ @thescarletfang​ @sleepylunarwolf​ @trickstersp8​ @princessxkenobi​ @imtryingmybeskar​ @wildmoonflower​ @marauderskeeper​

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [three] // wanda maximoff

summary: Wanda's boyfriend continues to be an aggravation in your life, causing some distance between you and Wanda

warning/s: none

author's note: i really appreciate the feedback you guys gave in the last part – it’s always motivating to read your reactions/comments 🥰

part one | part two | part four | part five | masterlist | wattpad

Sorting things out with Wanda made everything return to normal in no time. So much in fact that she decided I was worth inviting to her and her brother's birthday party.

Never in a million years did I expect the most popular girl in our grade to know who I was, let alone invite me to her birthday party, so to say I was surprised was an understatement.

"It's not a big deal if you can't make it," she said when she handed me the invitation in class. "I mean, I'd love it if you could, but yeah, no pressure."

I was in awe, accepting the invite and reading it quickly. It must have been a pretty expensive party if she was giving out special invites, that's for sure.

"You want me to come?" I asked, still unsure whether this was a joke or not.

"Only if you want to," she said quickly, eyes darting around the room and anywhere but at me. "Like I said, you don't have to. It's not a big deal and– I– yeah." She pressed her lips together and stopped rambling, offering me a small smile.

"Thanks," I said quietly, slotting the invite in my notebook. "I'll, er, I'll think about it."

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and faced forward, nodding. "Yeah, sure, no rush."

After that awkward conversation, I discovered she'd also invited Y/BF/N, the two of them developing a little friendship the more she'd hung out with me. He didn't mind going, but only wanted to do so if I went.

"I feel like I kinda don't wanna go," I admitted to him after school as we were studying in the library.

"Oh?" He rose an eyebrow. "And why's that?"

I played with the pencil in my hand. "I don't know, it's just– it's gonna be full of all of her other friends. And they don't really like me. Plus, her dick of a boyfriend is gonna be there. I just think she might have invited me to be nice. Like she might have felt like she had to because we sit together, y'know?"

"I think you know that isn't true," he said knowingly. "Maybe, just maybe, she actually wants us there, wants you there, to celebrate her birthday."

I chewed the inside of my mouth, giving it some thought. But the idea of going to Wanda's house party and seeing a bunch of people I didn't care about getting pissed wasn't comforting. Besides, even if I went, I'd probably see Wanda once before she'd get scooped away by Nate. What was the point?

"Nah, I don't think I'm going," I decided. "She won't notice. I'll just get her a present instead."

Y/BF/N sighed, clearly not impressed with my answer. Nonetheless, he said, "Okay, suit yourself."

"You can go if you want," I added, knowing his presence wasn't linked with mine.

"No Y/N, no party," he said with a dismissive shrug, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Such a good friend," I said teasingly, but there was truth to my words. And I knew he knew that. 

When I saw photos and videos of Wanda and Pietro's party all over my social media the day after, I knew I'd made the right choice in not going. It was the same visuals of everyone getting drunk, doing stupid shit and making a mess. Call me a loser, but that wasn't really my scene. Pietro and Wanda both seemed to enjoy it though, judging from the pictures.

Instead, I bought her a birthday present, knowing I didn't have to but I kind of wanted to, and planned to give it to her when she turned up to class. It was her birthday today, despite throwing the party over the weekend, so I hoped it would make up for my absence (thought I doubted she noticed).

She showed up and settled beside me as I was writing the date in my notebook, making me look up to see she'd made an extra effort to dress up for her birthday, looking fancier than usual. I couldn't help but smile at the giant '18' birthday badge pinned to her jacket.

"Happy birthday, Wanda," was the first thing I said when I saw her. "You look amazing."

A bashful smile appeared on her lips. "Thank you, Y/N."

"I hope your party went well," I said, giving her my full attention whilst trying not to drool over how beautiful she looked.

Surprisingly, her smile faded and her eyebrows knitted together. "Yeah, it did... could you not make it? I tried looking for you and– yeah..."

I opened my mouth to speak, admittedly a little embarrassed that she'd caught me out. I was sure she wouldn't notice – the pictures made it seem like there were loads of guests, I'd definitely have blended in if I were there – but clearly I was mistaken.

"I just thought–" she began, before shaking her head. "Never mind."

"Sorry, I thought–" I started, but like her, didn't know what to say. "Parties aren't my thing," I admitted truthfully. "But it looked fun. You enjoyed it, right?"

She nodded, a small forced smile on her lips. "Yeah, right. It's cool. No biggie."

I swallowed awkwardly. It seemed like a biggie and now I felt bad.

"I, er, got you a gift," I blurted, hoping to change the subject. Reaching into my backpack, I pulled out the terribly wrapped present and held it out nervously. "I hope you, er, like it."

Her eyebrows raised as her eyes flickered between the present and I. "Oh? You didn't have to. I wasn't expecting anything."

Was it hot in here or was it just me?

I pulled my collar away from my neck, hoping to circulate some air. "I wanted to. It's not a big deal."

She accepted the gift, fingers brushing mine and making me even more nervous, before opening it up. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she revealed a brand new leather paintbrush carry case.

"The one you always carry around is tattered and falling apart, so I thought I'd get you a new one," I explained, feeling like I had to. "I mean, unless the other one has some sort of sentimental value, then in that case, I can just return this."

"Are you kidding? I love it!" she exclaimed, looking to me with a grin. "It's beautiful, Y/N. I don't even know what else to say."

My shoulders relaxed, a relieved smile tugging at my lips. "Good. Th-that's good. I'm glad you like it."

Without warning, she moved forward off her stool and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug. I was startled, unable to think straight with her body pressed so close to mine and her floral perfume wafting into my nose. Why did she have to smell so good?

"Thank you," she muttered, pulling away but not quite letting go. Her eyes were glowing as they watched me carefully, accompanying her weak-in-the-knees smile. I was sure I'd melt. "It means a lot."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak for fear I'd say something stupid. I resisted the urge to look down at her lips, which were pulled into a small, appreciative smile. She let go of me, looking to the case again and unravelling it. I caught my breath meanwhile, my senses still on override as her perfume lingered.

She was just so damn beautiful.

—

"Okay, how about this – robotic or organic aliens. Which would you rather invade our planet?" Y/BF/N asked.

I chuckled at his question. "Definitely haven't thought about that one, but let's see..."

We were hanging in the bleachers out near the football field as we waited for football practice to end. Y/BF/N had a Film project to do and needed to film the field, so I offered to help like the good friend I was.

"Probably organic," I answered as I balanced on the bleachers, standing up and tiptoeing down them like steps. "At least we could reason with them if they tried to kill us because they'd have a conscience. Robotic aliens would just be programmed to take over and that's it."

Y/BF/N seemed against the idea as he played with his camera. "Yeah, but if they were robotic, all we'd have to do is launch a missile at them and they'd explode. You can break metal. It's harder to break organic matter."

I stifled a laugh. "You've given this much thought, I see."

He gave me a knowing look. "You telling me you don't think aliens exist?"

I stopped tiptoeing and stood still as I looked down at him with humoured eyes. "You know I know aliens exist."

He waved his hand like that was enough reasoning. "There you go then!"

I laughed, wondering how he thought of this stuff, then continued to balance as I walked down the bleachers. Probably the wrong choice as when I heard a voice call me, I looked up, saw it was Wanda, then proceeded to miss a step and fall onto my arse.

"Oh God, Y/N, are you okay?" she asked, moving forward to help me.

My face heated up as Y/BF/N laughed his arse off beside me. I accepted Wanda's hand and let her pull me up, before letting go immediately when I could handle it myself. Her presence always made me nervous, but this was just terrible.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said, glancing at her and freezing at her piercing gaze and suppressed smile.

"You sure?" she asked, glancing at Y/BF/N, before trying to hide her own laughter.

Fuck me, why was I such a mess whenever she was around?

"Very sure," I said, though my back began to ache from where I hit it. "What's up, anyway?"

Y/BF/N finally shut up, to my relief, and Wanda minimised her laughter before scratching her head.

"I'm waiting for practice to end so I can take Pietro home," she said, nodding to the field. "I saw you both sat here and thought I'd say hi. Are you guys watching practice?"

"Not really," I answered, before tilting my head to Y/BF/N. "We're just waiting for it to end so Y/BF/N can film for his project."

"Ooh, that sounds interesting," she said, intrigued and looking to him now. "What's that about?"

As he caught her up on it, I found myself checking Wanda out without realising. She was animated as she listened to Y/BF/N talk about his assignment, eyes giving him all of her attention, and a permanent smile was fixed on her lips as she listened to him. Though it wasn't directed at me, I felt butterflies swirling a storm in my stomach and clutched it, hoping they'd go away. I loved and hated the feeling all at once.

Breaking me from my reverie, a football flew past all three of us and hit the bleachers, startling us all. We looked in the direction it came from and saw the football team looking back at us, some laughing and some disgruntled. Two players ran towards us and when they got close enough, I made them out as Pietro and Nate.

Nate was laughing as he looked between us all, before his gaze fell on me. "It's Y/N, right? I feel like I'm always throwing that thing at you. Sorry about that."

But his constant laughing and lack of guilt refuted his words. I merely clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes his way, not that he seemed to care nor notice. I was a mere fly in a world that revolved around him. He'd never notice.

"Babe, I'm sorry, I didn't even know you were over here," he added, looking to Wanda. "You okay?"

Wanda crossed her arms and seemed frustrated. "I'm fine, Nate. Just get your ball."

He shrugged and grabbed his ball. Before leaving, he pressed a kiss to Wanda's cheek which made me wince, but she made no attempt in enjoying it. He didn't seem to care as he took off running back to his team. Pietro smiled apologetically at the three of us.

"I'm sorry," he said genuinely. "He can be such a dick sometimes."

That was the understatement of the century.

With that, he turned and ran back to his team to finish up. Wanda sighed, running a hand through her hair, as Y/BF/N and I exchanged glances.

"I should get the car running," she said awkwardly, pointing a thumb over her shoulder and towards the car park. "Good luck with your assignment, Y/BF/N. And I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N."

Waving goodbye with an awkward smile, I watched her leave and wondered the same thing I always did whenever Nate decided to make an appearance in my life.

How could she be dating such a dick?

—

Apart from the birthday party I didn't go to, I'd never been invited (or had a reason to go) to Wanda's house. I'd seen it, rode my bike past it, but never actually been in it. So, when she invited me to her place to work on a project we'd been assigned in class, I was unsure how to feel. She was adamant though and I had no reason to say no, so the only thing left to do was say yes. Even when she offered to drive me there after school.

"This is your car?" I asked with disbelief.

I knew absolutely nothing about cars, but I wasn't blind. Hers was a gorgeous deep red colour with a convertible roof that was currently lowered so anyone in it would feel the sun on their back and wind in their hair.

"Yeah, you like it?" she asked as she got into the driver's seat.

I gulped and sat in the passenger's seat, throwing my backpack at my feet. "It's so nice. You sure you don't mind me drinking in this?"

I had a Pepsi bottle in my hand and was deathly afraid of opening it now in case I spilt it and the cleaning bill would be more than I made in a year at the pizza parlour.

She laughed, already pulling out of the car park. "Of course. Don't be silly."

I glanced in her direction, trying not to get distracted by how good she looked in the driver's seat. She was wearing a red leather jacket, funnily enough, matching the exterior of her car, and she had dark eyeliner around her eyes, accentuating the shape and colour of them and leaving me speechless whenever she looked my way.

"There's CDs in the glove compartment," she was saying as she focused on the road. "Or you can mess around with the radio. It's up to you."

"CDs?" I asked, it piquing my interest. I reached into the glove compartment, adding, "What is this, the 2000s?"

She rolled her eyes playfully, accepting my teasing, as I flicked through the small stack of albums.

"I don't know, I guess I just like having the physical version," she said with a shrug. "It's kind of like a collection."

I chuckled at her need to explain herself, watching the way she rubbed her neck nervously, smiling with embarrassment. Looking back to the albums, a particular one grabbed my attention and I plucked it out with raised brows.

"Oh my God, you like Paramore?" I asked, looking to her with surprise. "Now it's definitely the 2000s."

Her cheeks flushed as she grew flustered. I nudged her in the side gently, getting her attention briefly.

"I'm kidding," I reassured, tilting my head her way playfully. "I actually love Paramore. They're my favourite band."

"Really?" she asked with surprise as I put the CD in her car. I hummed in response, to which she continued, "Have you ever seen them live?"

As For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic played quietly in the background, I nodded my head. "Yeah, once. It was a few years ago, but the tickets were shitty and I could just about make them out on stage in the distance."

Wanda laughed, the sound making my heart skip a beat. "No, that's so sad!"

I chuckled in agreement. "Yeah. It was, but oh well. They have a tour coming up this summer, right? Maybe I can get better tickets this time 'round... what about you? Have you ever seen them live?"

She hummed, making a turn at some traffic lights and chewing her lower lip as she focused on doing so. It was definitely the wrong time, but I found myself admiring how attractive it was, especially when her jaw tensed and her defined jawline was on display.

"Yeah, I saw them a few times," she finally responded, pulling me from my stupor. "Some really good seats, some really shitty ones." She giggled at the end, making me smile. "Maybe we could go to that concert in the summer. If you're up for it?"

This seemed like one of those times where you made plans with a friend that you knew would never happen, so to not cause an awkwardness in the conversation, I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, maybe."

She glanced at me and I mirrored her smile, the flash of excitement in her eyes knocking me breathless.

When we reached her house, I was awestruck at how big it was from the inside. I mean, it looked huge from the outside, but the inside was even better. Her family were rich, I knew that, but this was some other level of rich.

"Here, c'mon, I'll get you a drink, then we can go into the dining room to start," Wanda said, failing to recognise my amazement and instead leading me to the kitchen. "We have tropical juice, apple juice, water, Sprite, Cola... which d'you want?"

I settled at the island, taking a seat and subtly admiring her kitchen. "Er, apple juice is fine with me."

She smiled brightly before pouring me a glass, whilst pouring herself some Sprite. Standing opposite me, we both took a moment to have a drink, but didn't get chance to exchange words as her mum entered the room and noticed me instantly.

"Y/N, it's so lovely to see you again!" she said kindly, patting me on the shoulder before heading to the fridge. "You girls hanging out? Studying?"

"We have a project," Wanda filled in as I nodded in agreement. "We alright to claim the dining room?"

After grabbing some water from the fridge, Wanda's mum pressed a kiss to her daughter's cheek. "Sure thing, sweetie. If you need anything, just let me know." Smiling once more at me, she said, "It's good to see you, Y/N."

"You too," I said with a friendly smile before she left.

"Come on," Wanda said, motioning for me to follow. "We have tons to do."

The next hour and a half was spent with Wanda and I planning out our project, our work sprawled along the dining table messily. We were making progress, until she got a call suddenly. It seemed serious as she gave me an apologetic glance and excused herself. I let her go and leaned back in my seat, wondering what I could do as I waited for her to return. That thought was resolved quite quickly when Pietro popped his head in the doorway and spotted me.

"Y/N! What an honour to welcome you to our humble abode," he exclaimed, entering the room fully. "What brings you here?"

Pietro's presence always brought an amused smile to my lips. "Wanda and I are working on a Chemistry project. She's just nipped out for a phone call."

He tutted dramatically, crossing his arms. "Well, well, well. We can't have that! Wanda needs to learn to entertain her guests. C'mon. I was about to head to the gaming room and could use the company."

I was visibly surprised. "You have a gaming room? Dude, that's awesome!"

He laughed. "C'mon."

Joining Pietro, the two of us headed to this so-called gaming room and I was not disappointed. There was a huge TV with a PlayStation and Nintendo Switch connected to it, a snooker table, a foosball table, a dart board, some old arcade games – it was amazing, any gamer's biggest dream.

"What you feeling, princess?" he said with that flirtatious smile of his.

I rolled my eyes playfully. He was being overtly flirty, more so than his sister was – was it a Maximoff personality trait or something? – and I wasn't sure whether he meant it or was just being his usual self.

"Are you flirting?" I deadpanned, tilting my head curiously. "I can't tell."

He pocketed his hands, swinging back on the heels of his feet. "That depends. Is it working?"

Despite my lack of interest in him like that, I felt my face heat up at the attention. "Pietro, I must tell you that any moves you attempt to make kind of won't work."

"And why's that?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the snooker table with a cheeky smile on his lips. "Am I not your type?"

"Unless you change into a girl, then no," I played along, making him flush with embarrassment. "Hate to break it to you, but I'm gay."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense," he mumbled to himself, before sighing and meeting my eyes. "We can still be friends, right? Or is that forbidden since you're already friends with my sister?"

I laughed and approached him. "Friends works. I don't think Wanda will care. I certainly don't."

He grinned. "Awesome! Well, d'you wanna play a round of foosball?"

"Sure," I said with an amused expression. "Bet I can kick your arse."

He pushed himself off the table and feigned surprise. "Oh? Game on, Y/L/N."

I didn't realise how long Wanda had been on the phone until I managed to get through three rounds of foosball and was in the middle of a snooker game with Pietro.

"You may have beat me at foosball, but you're terrible at this," he pointed out with stifled laughter.

I'd missed my third shot and it was more funny than it was embarrassing.

"Your talking distracts me," I said dismissively, before lining up the next shot with my cue.

He watched as I tried to take my shot before sighing loudly. I glanced at him with a quirked brow.

"You have a thought you'd like to share?" I asked playfully.

He hesitated, moving forward to correct my posture. "Look, if you just aim it like this–"

"Don't even think about it, Romeo," I said jokingly, standing up straight and pushing him away gently. "I know what you're thinking."

He laughed. "What? I was just going to help you aim!"

I gave him a knowing look. "So holding me close is just a bonus?"

"Fine, take your shot without my help and see what happens," he said dismissively, waving his hand.

"I'll do just that," I said with confidence, before bending down and taking my shot. The ball hit the other and neither were pocketed, which was an achievement as I'd got the cue ball in several times before, but still pretty shit as I didn't score any points.

Pietro smiled with satisfaction, leaning on his cue. "You happy with that?"

I held in a laugh as I looked to him. "Shut up."

He chuckled before bumping me out the way. "Now for the professional."

Bending down to take his shot, he pulled back his cue before hitting the balls. They rolled around on the table and one ball was about to go in, but I quickly grabbed it before he could get the point.

"Y/N!" he shouted between laughter. "That's cheating!"

"Technically we didn't establish rules," I pointed out, before moving backwards as he tried to grab it from my hand. "What do you say to calling it a draw and playing something else?"

"I say that's a childish way to admit you've lost," he responded, before moving forward quickly. I dodged his attempt and he pursed his lips. "Y/N."

"Pietro."

He smirked. "Seriously?"

I grinned.

He tried to grab it again and ended up chasing me around the room as I avoided giving in. Taking the piss out of Y/BF/N enough times had prepared me for moments like this, so I was able to avoid Pietro long enough to run into whoever walked through the door.

"Shit, Wanda, I'm sorry," I said between laughter, steadying both me and her.

She smiled with confusion, about to speak, but Pietro caught up to me and lifted me up, throwing me onto the couch before I could protest.

"No more cheating," he said sternly, as I lifted my head from the pile of cushions on the couch to look up at him.

"You're an arse," I said, pushing myself up off the couch.

"And you're a sore loser!"

We had a mini staring competition before the two of erupted into laughter.

"You're not half bad, Pietro," I complimented as he helped me up.

"Thank you, princess," he said, the flirtatious smile on his lips again.

I shoved him in the shoulder playfully before looking to Wanda, who was chewing on her lip as she looked between Pietro and I with an unreadable expression.

"So, what prompted you to leave Y/N alone for an hour?" Pietro asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, making me shove him away. He grinned at me before looking to Wanda.

"Nate called," Wanda responded carefully, arms crossed as she continued to look between us. God, I hoped she didn't think Pietro and I liked each other. That would be embarrassing.

Pietro scoffed from beside me, making Wanda sigh with annoyance.

"Don't start, Piet," she said and gave him a look which he seemed to understand.

By the sounds of it, Pietro didn't seem to like Wanda's dick of a boyfriend either. That was strange since wasn't impressing the brother the first part of being in a relationship with someone? And they were on the same football team, so I figured he'd at least tolerate him.

"Are we alright to get back to studying?" Wanda asked, directing her stare to me. The annoyance she held for Pietro was still present in her eyes and I suddenly felt nervous when she looked my way.

"Yeah, of course," I said, before giving Pietro a half-smile. "Rematch at snooker next time. Sound good?"

"Try to keep the balls on the table and we'll see," he teased, before nodding to Wanda. "You should get back to your project before Wanda kills us both with her deadly glare."

I smiled awkwardly, looking back to Wanda as she was indeed glaring at her brother. Clearly there was some sibling rivalry going on here, and I definitely didn't want to get in the middle of it, so I headed to Wanda, signalling I was ready to leave.

The two of us headed back to the dining room in an uncomfortable silence. I felt like I'd done something wrong and she was giving me the silent treatment which was strange. Then I figured it was probably something with Nate that made her annoyed, so didn't question it too much.

We sat back down and I looked at what we'd done so far to try and pick up where we left off, but then she spoke out of the blue, taking me by surprise.

"Do you like my brother?"

It was so abrupt that I took a moment to acknowledge it, blinking. "What?"

"Pietro," she clarified, saying it with such dismissiveness like it wasn't a big deal. Her attention was on the books before us as she continued, "Do you like him?"

I tried not to laugh as I shook my head. "No, Wanda. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a great guy. But yeah, no, I don't like him like that."

She chewed her lip, nodding, but I swear I saw a hint of a smile on her lips. I hoped it wasn't the thought of Pietro and I that made her annoyed. I wasn't that bad, was I? I know she cared about her brother and was probably overprotective, but me being his girlfriend couldn't have been that bad, right?

We got back to work in no time, getting a lot done. I didn't realise how late it was getting until Wanda's mum poked her head in, asking if I wanted to stay for dinner.

"Dinner?" I asked, eyebrows raising with surprise. I checked my watch and realised how long I'd been here. "Damn, maybe I should head back."

"Nonsense, you must stay," her mum insisted. "Y/M/N won't mind. A daughter of hers is a daughter of mine."

"You can even sleepover if you want," Wanda offered, and I almost choked on my own spit. "It's getting pretty late."

I shook my head, forcing a small smile so they wouldn't get offended. "Honestly, it's fine. I can head back."

"Please?" Wanda asked with a hopeful expression. "It's the least I can do. I kinda wasted your time for an hour earlier..."

"I should ask my mum," I said, chewing on the inside of my mouth.

"Oh, I'll ring and let her know," Wanda's mum said breezily, before looking to Wanda. "D'you think you can clear your things up? Your brother is gonna set the table."

"Sure, mum." Wanda smiled her way as she left, before looking to me. "I've got clothes and a spare toothbrush you can use tonight."

I smiled awkwardly, nodding. Sleeping over at my crush's house wasn't how I thought I'd be spending my Wednesday evening, yet here we were.