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x-neurodivergent-reader · 2 years

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Sealing the Void (Dhawan!Master x Autistic!Reader) (Rewrite)

Summary: When you visit an alien planet, the Master wonders why you became so attached to a member of a species that is their equivalent of a cat. When you begrudgingly tell him the reason, he does something you would have never expected from him.

A/N: Hi – as I’ve said, I’m not quite coming back from my hiatus yet, but I’ve been wanting to rewrite this fic for a while now. Enjoy!

The reader here is gender-neutral. The fic can also be read as either romantic or platonic!

Content warnings: Description of animal death and feelings of grief, many other implied deaths (the Master and the reader character destroy a planet together for fun). Some angst with a fluffy ending (except for the alien planet, they’re screwed)

Tag list: @agent-barnes40

You had been acting somewhat strangely lately, the Master had noticed. While he didn’t typically care for humans’ emotions and struggles, it was clear that something had been bothering you, despite your insistence otherwise. Were it not for the fact that it didn’t seem to affect your ability to carry out his plans with him, he likely would have tried to pry it out more than he already has.

The current trip to carry out global destruction on a poor, unfortunate alien planet was relatively normal for you both, at first. You had managed to sweet-talk your way into the good graces of one of the most powerful people in that world – a queen, to be exact – creating the perfect start to set your plans into motion. Thanks to her making the mistake of trusting you, you and the Master were able to find all kinds of powerful weaponry and technology which, if you were sneaky enough, could easily be used to your advantage.

The Master was proud of how far your negotiating skills had come since you had joined him – all thanks to his guidance, of course – and he felt confident that he and his trusted companion would successfully raze this planet to the ground, destroying the vast majority of its population, as well as the foreseeable futures of anyone who had the misfortune of surviving…

…and then something terrible happened.

Something that the Master had no reason to predict. Something that threatened to take you out of the equation. Something which, if either of you weren’t careful enough, could easily jeopardise this entire scheme.

The queen had a cat. An alien cat, with antennae between its ears, huge dark eyes, and purple, striped fur. And it just so happened to become attached to you.

From the moment you first laid eyes on it, you couldn’t stop yourself from fawning over it at any given opportunity. Even before the “cat” noticed you in turn, the Master could practically feel your excitement radiating from you – he just knew that, even when you said nothing, your thoughts were screaming your immediate affection towards it. It took every molecule in his body for him to avoid rolling his eyes at how pathetic he found it, especially when the queen also noticed the “cat” and, more than happy with the opportunity to show it off, gave her permission for you to indulge its desire for attention.

Sometimes the Master had to wonder if you knew just how lucky you were to be his favourite human, because if he had to deal with anyone else talking to this thing in that disgusting baby voice, he most likely would have compressed them on the spot.

Thankfully, after days of seldom seeing you without the small, furry animal, the time finally came for you both to conduct his plans – and should fortune be on his side, you would forget all about the cat once it was over.

He often took the lead at this point in your adventures, since the idea of having to carefully command the right people, and make use of your newfound tools in exactly the right way, was often overwhelming for you. You instead preferred to aid him in his efforts from the side – and thankfully, when it was time, that damn cat that had been attached to you for nearly the entire trip was nowhere to be found. And the Master was more than happy to say as such while you helped him to prepare.

“Seriously,” he said, finally taking the chance to roll his eyes that he had been repressing for so long, “how much fuss do you think the stupid animal could possibly need? I’m shocked that incompetent excuse for a ruler even let it be with you for so long – I was half convinced you were going to steal it!”

Your face was carefully neutral as the Master nagged at you, having expected this lecture from the moment you met the little alien, considering his dislike of animals. The cool glow of the screen in front of you illuminated your face as you searched for any discrepancies in the doomsday weapons he was about to hijack. “He was soft.”

“If you need something soft to stim with, love, I could have just skinned it for you.” The Master remarked, flicking his hand nonchalantly. He thought that he saw you wince slightly out of the corner of his eye, but brushed it off as a trick of the light. “Would be much safer, anyway – it was probably “cuddling” you to see if you’d be a decent snack.”

You scoffed at the Master’s teasing, shaking your head slightly while you dragged your finger and thumb apart on the screen, zooming into the map to get a better look at any possible details that could disrupt your plans. The Master approached you and looked at the screen, quickly making sure to spot anything you might miss, before he continued the conversation you would have much preferred to leave behind.

“Besides, don’t you already have a cat? I can drop you off to see it any time you want, all you have to do is-”

“Everything looks to be in order.” You cut him off.

The Master grinned mischievously, his excitement at the news overwhelming any annoyance he felt at being interrupted so curtly, as well as the brief confusion at the crack in your tone. He spun as he approached the controls he needed to enforce the final step, a childish air about him when he started the preparations.

His hands flitted between the buttons for several seconds, before slowing, his finger hovering unsteadily over the one that would activate the weapons. The Master looked over to you with a spark of determination in his dark eyes, which was only reserved for such special occasions as this, as he held up the index and middle fingers on his free hand – the signal you both agreed on for you to get ready to run, and that you would need your ear defenders.

“Everything on this planet should be reduced to dust in about an hour.” His voice was shaky, somewhat husky, with anticipation, as you dug your small box out of your pocket, sticking the ear plugs into your ears. “You ready?”

From the moment you nodded to him, he didn’t hesitate to hit the button, and you both rushed out of the room. All you had to do now was get back to the TARDIS safely, and watch the consequences of your hard work unfold.

~*~

The Master threw the TARDIS doors open, ushering you in before slamming them behind him. You had sprinted straight to the console to steady yourself as you caught your breath, and the Master followed, darting around it and flipping the necessary switches to stir the ship into action. You briefly patted your ears, making sure your defenders were still in place, before grasping tightly onto the side of the console as the familiar rumbling and whining noise indicated that it was about to leave the planet.

Given the circumstances you both were faced with on the way back, the timing couldn’t have been better – after the queen found out who had caused her people’s incoming demise, she had sent some of her soldiers to try to either arrest or execute the two of you. You found it to be quite the inconvenience, as it drained a lot of the time you had left to escape, but at least the Master seemed to have fun with demonstrating how the TCE works to them.

Soon enough, the TARDIS’s vibrations settled, as the ship came to a stop. The Master’s excitement was palpable – you didn’t miss the shiver in his breath as he approached the doors and proudly swung them open again, showing the TARDIS to be floating in space at a safe distance from the planet, while still having a perfect view of the explosions.

That wonderfully wicked smile was still on his face as he turned to you, dramatically bowing while gesturing to the floor at the doors. “After you.”

His display caused you to return his smile, as you took the defenders out of your ears and walked up to the doors, moving to sit down with your legs dangling over the edge of the ship.

You said nothing as the Master settled next to you, still feeling breathless, your heart only just starting to calm down. The view of the stars, planets and galaxies as the TARDIS floated through space never truly got old for you. It was the perfect way to unwind from both the high-energy adventures, and any overstimulation that may result from them.

Despite how rude and animated the Master could be, you were grateful that he had the courtesy to know when it was best for you to just sit and stargaze for a while, until you were ready to spring back into action. His constant planning and searching for discrepancies in his next big schemes came to his own benefit in these situations, you noticed, as he would use them to occupy his erratic mind in the meantime.

But for now, you both sat in silence, and the thoughts that silence allowed you to process weren’t as kind to you as they normally were. Typically, as horrified as most other humans would be if they knew, you didn’t feel much remorse for the actions you took during your journeys with the Time Lord. Travelling with him was the most fun you’ve ever had in your life, and you wouldn’t trade it – destruction and all – for the world.

But this time, you started to remember the one good thing you had found on the planet in the distance, a feeling of guilt and even sorrow starting to invade your mind at what was about to be inflicted onto him…

“You interrupted me earlier.” The Master, ironically, interrupted those thoughts. You took a brief glance at his face, just enough to get an idea of what he was feeling. Neither his expression nor his tone of voice seemed to convey any anger, or even mild displeasure at you. He seemed completely neutral, as though he had merely asked about the weather.

Regardless, you knew that the way he expressed himself didn’t always match what he was really thinking, and you couldn’t help the feeling of self-consciousness that his statement raised, leaning your shoulder against the doorframe to create a small amount of distance between you. “Yeah. I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have done that.”

There was a moment where you got no reply, and a sinking feeling in your stomach made you start to dread exactly where the conversation may go. While things such as interrupting him when he spoke usually made him briefly annoyed at most, you started to think back to whether you had broken any of the other rules he had set when you first started travelling with him, for fear that you had done something to warrant him sending you home for the last time.

After the lingering emptiness you had dealt with for the past months, you didn’t feel like you could handle any more.

“You interrupted me when I brought up your cat, specifically. And you’ve been acting weird ever since that alien…” He waved his hand in a rotating motion a couple of times as he tried to think of the right term, only to give up. “…thing got attached to you. Weirder than you normally are around animals.” The Master once again spoke a little more casually than you expected, although it didn’t make you less on edge.

When you didn’t respond, he continued. “Did something happen to it?”

You swallowed, a small pang of the grief that you expected to have subsided by now hitting you like a train, as though each moment where you took the time to process what happened was sped up, now that you were put on the spot to talk about it aloud. The grief you have kept hidden from the Master since it started – restricting your sorrow, guilt, and tears to the time you spent at your home between your travels, trying to ignore how vacant it now felt – for fear of being viewed as just another weak human by him.

The grief you kept locked deep in your heart around him, so you wouldn’t have to risk losing him, too.

The Master didn’t do anything to comfort you when he saw your body language change at the question, since it wasn’t in his nature, but you could feel him waiting for you to be ready to answer. The silence of the void surrounding the TARDIS weighed heavily on that between you, until you took your fidget necklace out from under your shirt – where you always kept it on trips to avoid it getting caught on something, or making a noise while running away from the problems you and the Master caused – and it jingled quietly as your fingers fiddled with it half-heartedly.

“I won’t bore you with every detail, but… my cat got sick a while ago. She was being treated for it, and for a while, she genuinely seemed to be getting better. Not perfect, but she seemed like she was on the mend...”

You shuffled backwards into the TARDIS, making enough room in front of you to tuck your knees up to your chest. As silly as it was, it felt like you were protecting yourself from your vulnerability – protecting your heart from the judgement you just knew was coming soon.

“…but then, around two months ago, I woke up to find…” you tried to figure out how to word it, not wanting to go into the fairly morbid detail that had disturbed you the most at the time, “…her in a state that showed that she absolutely was not doing better. I managed to get an emergency appointment for her, only to be told that medicine was never really going to help her, and the problem would keep coming back after being treated.”

Your voice cracked as you spoke, the painful memories flooding back into your mind with more and more detail. “She would need surgeries for the rest of her life, which her insurance wouldn’t have covered. I didn’t have the heart – nor the money – to put her through that, so I… decided to let her go.”

It was only then that you forced yourself to face the Master, expecting to see his disappointment, anger – any indication that confiding in him was a mistake. He continued to look in your general direction for a moment, before silently turning his gaze back towards the planet that was about to die. Given that some of your sorrow had inadvertently slipped through several times after what happened, and he had noticed enough to point it out, you wondered if he was putting the pieces together, recognising that this was all connected.

The silence, along with finally talking about the events you had bottled up, made you immediately feel like you had to justify yourself. Anything to avoid bringing your fear of him leaving you behind to life.

“I’m sorry I got distracted by the cat – or whatever it was – back there. I decided not to get a new pet yet, because I knew I couldn’t just replace her and everything would be better, but… I’ve been around pets my whole life, and it’s felt so weird to not have one to look after and make a fuss of whenever I want anymore. It feels like something that’s become a natural instinct isn’t being fulfilled…”

You had to stop, you knew, as you felt your eyes start to well up. You rubbed at the inner corners of them with your thumb and index finger, trying to look like you were simply exhausted. “…I know it’s stupid for me to still feel like this after a few months, and I-I promise I’ll get over it soon-”

“Stand back.” The Master, ever the hypocrite, interrupted you as he rose to his feet. The determination in his voice notably lacked the eager anticipation it held back when he was about to destroy the world the TARDIS now overlooked – instead, it was more reminiscent of dark clouds curtaining the sky, in the build-up to a devastating storm.

It was almost on par with how he sounded while antagonising the Doctor.

Understandably, you didn’t argue, stumbling somewhat clumsily to your feet and stepping further into the TARDIS, before the Master forcefully closed the doors. Without a word, he went back to the console, and you quickly put your defenders back into your ears while he triggered the same controls that set it into motion again.

You just barely managed to grab onto one of the rails next to you before the ship started its journey, desperate to avoid being thrown around like a ragdoll as the Master, presumably, steered the TARDIS back to your home, ready to leave you behind for good after the moment of weakness you showed him.

You knew you shouldn’t have opened up.

As the ship settled once more, the Master stormed up to the doors, coolly narrowing his eyes at you as you turned, resigning yourself to the fact that he was about to make you leave, before he spoke. “Out of the way. You’re not going anywhere.”

His words, while still carrying the same stern tone, surprised you as they cut through your expectations. You looked at the doors, then back at him, unsure of what was about to happen. “What are you…?”

The Master sighed before gently pushing past you, tugging on one of the doorhandles and marching out of the TARDIS, leaving you to stare in bewilderment as he shut the door behind him, almost as quickly as he had opened it.

From the brief glimpse you got, you recognised the room he had entered as being part of the building you had just escaped – specifically, a lot closer to where the queen spent most of her time. Looking down at your watch, you noted that, assuming the Master hadn’t also travelled through time to get there, he only had around five minutes to get you both away from the planet again before its destruction.

You stood awkwardly in the middle of the TARDIS, keeping your hands occupied with your stim necklace, trying to focus your mind enough to avoid getting overwhelmed by your uncertainty. You knew how unpredictable the Master could be, but the lack of communication in this case was concerning. You couldn’t think of any reason why he would go back, especially with the sheer tenacity he displayed in doing so. The heavy silence from the ship he made you wait in didn’t help, either, as there was no indication that even she knew what he was doing.

He wouldn’t typically risk his life like this for anyone other than himself, so surely it couldn’t have anything to do with what you had told him… could it?

Before you could start to entertain the idea, one of the doors opened yet again, lacking the Master’s usual flourish as he opened it with just one hand. You were briefly worried that he had gotten hurt, until he fully entered the room, completely unharmed, aside from a few patches of ash on his skin and clothes.

And in his other arm, he was carrying the alien cat which had, soon to be formerly, belonged to the queen you had ruthlessly betrayed.

There were few times where the Master had a close enough call with death to make you this relieved to see him, but the fact that he really did do this for you made your heart feel like it was soaring, to the point that, were it not for your sensory issues, you would be tempted to tackle him in a hug.

The Master was quick to approach you to place the cat in your eager hands, before heading back to the controls to get the TARDIS away from the rapidly incoming destruction. He spoke quickly yet decisively as he steered the ship. “Your pet. Not mine. If it isn’t litter trained, I’m bringing it back to kick it out. Never ask me for anything ever again.”

“Deal!” You squealed joyfully, holding the cat like a baby as it settled in your arms to purr against your shoulder. You tugged the part of your shirt it was kneading at away from you when the TARDIS made you stumble, so the alien cat’s claws didn’t cut into you as you held it protectively.

You had no reason to believe that its claws were venomous – the Master likely would have stopped you from indulging its need for attention a lot sooner if they were – but you still didn’t want risk them breaking any skin in case, to his surprise, he turned out to be wrong.

When everything stilled, the Master turned away from the console, facing the massive grin on your face as you almost cradled the cat, already stroking its silky fur to calm yourself from the events of the day. He rolled his eyes at you, albeit without the same displeasure it held before – if anything, the act carried a degree of fondness.

“You happier now?” He asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets and avoiding your gaze as you walked towards him. “I know it’s not going to replace your old cat, but at least it can help you through whatever pain you have left. Maybe. Who knows-”

The Master froze when you pressed your forehead against his shoulder – your alternative to a hug, that involved less physical contact. Your nose was pressed against the plum cloth of his coat as you thanked him, the vibration of the cat’s purring creating a rather pleasant feeling against your heart, while the Master awkwardly patted your arm.

“Yeah… it’s nothing…” He murmured, seemingly at a loss for words at your show of affection as he caressed your arm absentmindedly. His hand stopped suddenly, and you wondered if something was wrong, until… “…as long as it doesn’t start clawing at my clothes.”

“Oh, crap-” You withdrew yourself quickly, inspecting his clothes for a moment to make sure the cat hadn’t done exactly that. The cat’s ebony eyes had been closed, only to blearily open them and make a little “mrph” noise at the loss of the Master’s warmth.

“Don’t worry,” the Master smirked at your concern, winking at you to reassure you, “it’s safe for now.”

“Good… I mean, he likely won’t do it if I get some toys to keep him occupied,” you observed, continuing to pet the cat, “and, oh – as you said, I’ll need to get some litter stuff for him and make sure he’s trained, too. And some food of course, although I’ve no idea what this species eats… do you know?”

“Not a clue.” The Master shrugged nonchalantly, before turning back to the controls, pulling a screen towards him. “But we can go to a library to find some books on them. Shouldn’t take too long – the TARDIS can make a playroom or something to keep it occupied, until we get back.”

You perked up as the Master set the TARDIS up to do exactly that, while the creature slowed down its kneading on your shirt and closed its large eyes once more, starting to fall asleep in your arms. “You’ll really help me?”

“As I said, I don’t know much about this species – for all I know, my joke about it preparing to eat you might be true. I’d rather not have it come for me next.”

You scrunched up your nose and nudged him playfully, before hearing the TARDIS finish creating the new room. As you started to head towards it, careful not to go fast enough to wake the cat again, you stopped for a moment, turning back to the Master.

“Seriously, though. Thank you.” The Master turned away from the console to look you, raising an eyebrow as you spoke. “For both saving the cat, and listening to me. I think… talking about it helped me to process some of the thoughts I’ve still been having, about what happened. I feel a little better.”

The Master was silent in return, but the corners of his lips tugged upwards into a small smile – one of the rare, genuine ones that you’ve never seen him offer anyone else.

Offering a bright smile in return, you turned to leave before things got too much more vulnerable than you knew he would like, continuing to pet the alien cat’s violet fur as you started to look for the room the TARDIS made for it.

With your back turned to him, you missed how the Master’s warm smile grew, while he heard you whispering to the cat about what name you might choose for it.