#does it have to be with fucking vertigo idk

[applebeebuck]

I know that whatever Tim has planned for buddie will absolutely slap, but I just wish it was... easier, somehow. They've suffered so much already, so much pain, so much trauma, I just wish that getting together could just be relatively easy, you know? It has been 6 seasons already and they have suffered together and individually in every single one of them. I mean, okay to the miscommunication, the pining, etcetc, but everything seem so traumatic already that I'm not sure I'm ready for it 🥹🫠😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[haute-pockette]

The Doctor's incarnations have fears associated to what caused their regenerations Two acting childlike and whimsical because he's afraid of growing old again. He's scared of becoming a crotchety old man that will die alone. He surrounds himself with friends just as he much with surrogates, to help him feel like he isn't too old to be running about having adventures. Three having a lot of complex and mixed feelings about the Time Lords. He resents them for what they did to him and his companions, but also very scared of facing that fate again should cross their path once more. Four can't stand spiders. They didn't directly kill him, but damn did they play a big part leading up to his regeneration. They give him the willies and Sarah Jane and Romana always have to take care of invading arachnids while he is perched safely on the center console. Five hating heights might actually be canon, he's shown freaking out on a cliff in Castrovalva and hating every minute of a plane ride in Time Flight. Boy likes to keep his feet firmly where he doesn't risk falling. He'll get vertigo if too close to a ledge. Six being scared of getting sick. While this one is more vague, it was the fever of Spectrox Toxemia that kills, so I could see him being panicky and over compensating when it comes to illnesses. Pulls manflu pity every time: bed rest, tea, soup, hot waterbottle on the forehead, reciting rhetoric about his woes. Poor Peri and Mel has to tend to his drama. I can also see him hating bats but in a "why can't you fuckers make more than a tiny vial of milk, asshole???" kind of way. I think Seven's might also be canon (in the books at least) with the way he mentally locked away his Sixth self in fear of the Valeyard. Though he wasn't really a cause for regeneration, he certainly set the Doctor on the path to it. Eight terrified of medicine and hospitals. Aspirin is already deadly to Time Lords, anesthesia fucked up his regeneration. This boy won't go to a medical professional unless he's dragged in unconscious. He will look at broken leg twisted out of shape and claim he can walk it off. The Warrior/War Doctor scared of failing people the way he did Cass. His spirit for hope and brighter ending to the war broken when he regenerated. He became the one that got his hands dirty because he was too scared to let anyone else die under his care.

Nine scared of war. War Doctor held off his regeneration for years to keep fighting, and Nine clearly does his best to step away from the incarnation he hated being more than anything. Like he said, "Coward, any day." Ten is a bit tricky. He's scared of Daleks, losing companions. He's scared that people around him will be willing to sacrifice themselves for him. Scared of the heart of the Tardis, the very soul of time itself ripping away what/who he loves. After Rose is safe from it he was very careful to never let anyone open it again. Eleven scared to see another Time Lord again. He's heartbroken about being the last of his kind. Romana, Brax, Damon all gone. The Master's plans had gotten so much more violent and destructive and insane than they used to be. The other Time Lords so desperate to escape the Time Locked war that they'd destroy time to do it. He's scared of everything ending if the Time Lords return. I haven't really seen enough of Twelve or past that to give proper interpretations on them, but I'm pretty sure Twelve is determined not to be seen as an old man. It's like he sees this new cycle as starting over so he's trying to act like he's the young, rebellious first incarnation? idk

[sickficideas]

k so I have this tecchou whump idea in my brain but idk I can’t write it right now, so I’m gonna say it here, if that’s okay.

So, the idea is basically this dude wakes up with a little stomachache (not nausea quite yet) and, unbeknownst to him, a low grade fever. He thinks about it for approximately two seconds, and decides it’s just food poisoning, or he just ate something bad.

However, as the day goes on, the fever starts to climb a little more, the stomachache slowly progressing to, yep, you guessed it, nausea. By the time lunch rolls around, he still doesn’t think his stomach is agreeing with him, so he just doesn’t eat.

(That doesn’t go unnoticed, however, so he’s just like “I don’t feel like eating” shrug, but he still eats a little anyway)

His day continues and it’s getting a little worse for wear, to be honest. Tecchou starts to get chills, doesn’t notice much about that, but he feels a little tired as well, which he coincidentally does notice. So, he’s training with probably Jouno, but idk it could be Teruko or Tachihara, and he gets knocked over, which is fine.

However, getting back up he experiences the usual for this kinda thing; vertigo and light spots, but when this happens his stomach does a complete 180 lol, and so he realizes “This might be worse than what I thought”

So he goes to sit down and Jouno’s just like “K you caught up to that fact fucking finally” and so he runs off to grab a water bottle and Tecchou’s sitting there, actively trying not to throw up. He starts to hiccup at some point, so he’s like “Oh hell no hold on” and gets by a trash can just in time.

Jouno comes back and is just. Standing there. When Tecchou comes back up, Jouno’s behind him, and he just pushes his head down again with a “Nope you’re not done yet” and, well, he isn’t.

It pretty much ends with him being driven home lol

everything about this is absolutely fantastic thank you so much for sending me this....there's not enough Tecchou content and you executed your thoughts here perfectly i can see it all and i love the symptoms you picked !!!! I love sick Tecchou I think he'd be super stubborn up until he can't fight it off and he'll certainly let Jouno take care of him even if Jouno has an attitude about it (he still does a good job 🥺💗). I also especially love the vertigo and dark spots in this sort of setting it's so perfect....if you ever end up writing something for this please let me know I'd love to read it 😭🙏💖💖💖

[overheaven]

hmm so dr appt about chronic pain was (unsurprisingly) vague but that’s to be expected since it’s the first time i’m bringing these issues up. gonna have to get more bloodwork done.

everything all checked out w/ my thyroid and metabolic stuff like. my provider was even like “on paper everything is perfect” but she took a lot of time to talk about stuff that might not be easy to pinpoint too. i was suggested to do some research about the connection between trauma+chronic pain, which i think is absolutely valid but also a little disappointing because it’s like wow thanks as if the trauma isn’t pervasive enough, it also literally ruined my body on a cellular level?

but at the end i described my pain as feeling deep and bruising and my provider suggested looking into fibromyalgia too… which i’m like 99% certain is in my family (just can’t confirm if they’ve ever gotten diagnosed or who it exactly was—my mom or my grandma—or other medical history because i’m no-contact w/ my family).

something i neglected to say because it’s one of those things that you’re like “oh that’s NOT normal?” and i didn’t think of it til i had to start moving again is my bad balance, head rushes, vertigo etc. i’ve never fainted as far as i can remember and i always have good blood pressure when they take my vitals so idk. maybe that’s not indicative of a larger issue but it’s like. y’know they’re not monitoring my blood pressure when i’m moving or standing or sitting and they can’t see how my head gets foggy & twinge-y when i stand too fast or if i’m tired or w/e. i got a lingering head ouchie & hot flash because of stretching rn. buh. does anyone else’s ears ring when they get a head rush? cause i get a really lowkey small ring that almost feels like it’s connected right into my brain, like it doesn’t block out other sounds but it’s there humming at a high frequency. what’s that about. is that normal?

i’ve just got all these little things that i really really really hope aren’t just “yeah sorry you’re traumatized which means your body sucks. try not to be stressed and exercise more.” maybe that’s true! and i know diagnoses aren’t some magic thing or whatever i know i know but it’s just. i can’t describe it as anything other than tragic if somehow i didn’t have something Formally Medically Wrong with me. like if that’s the case then that means my mom gets to have the validity of arthritis and all of her other diagnoses while i’m sitting here in pain that is always going to be vague, pervasive, and unpredictable because she fucked up my brain. and that hurts. i’m still playing catch-up about all the stuff my parents ignored and neglected when they should have been helping and protecting me. i’m mad about it.

[clownhonkbonk]

to any interested here are my reactions i remembered to write down for the magnus archives in it's entirety :3 it's not too many bUt this is what you get

the episode numbers are written with them!!

ft me trying to understand the story with a great deal of pain writing on my phone in my notes app mostly at 1 am

REACTIONS 👀

56 sub statment thinf w martin

avtually got tears in my eyes. i love you martin. i love you jon. im so happy he just went " avtually, im rather relieved " or whatever bc hell yes girl u are so unwell.

this show is so addicting.

57

OMG 28 DAYS LATER MENTION!!!! THE END IS EXTREMLY FUCJING NEIGH!!! not the reference but excited

spooky.

WAY too attached to them

58

only just skipped the add and " episode Fifty-Eight. Trail Rations" And immediately went " oh NO !! cannibalism :( " and the read the description like LMAOO everytime there's anything relating to food in this podcast i just go " oh no it's cannibalisim "

holy shit it's a woman cannibal, diversity WIN

WHAT THE FUCK I REALISED WHATS HAPPENING WHEN THEY'RE BOTH DEAD

benjamin wtf homie this is NOT good bedroom foreplay

ouuugg auch good writing.

i understand the possible cannibalisim thing now

YES JON OFC THEY R WORRIED ABT YOU YOU DUNBASS IM CRYING PLS

at lwast he doesn't think it's martin as much anymore ❓❓❓❓

i NEEEED to stop going through s1 animatics but QOW this fanvase is awesome i love all the designs.. i used to think martin and tim were the same person for a few episodes

65

honestly hell yeah tim. shout at jon for being weird. but also sike you can't leave.

66

insane.

81

ok im like halfway through this but like so for the deities / entities that r silly

we got

eyes, spider, diseases / insects ( though they maybe different ) and meat maybe???? maybe there's just three..

83

oh oh the guys r all core fears / most common fears, one extra is THE STRANGER OOOOoooOooooO

84

i love you martin for filling in n trying to take over for jon ur such a cutie

idk how much i believe that elias did it but like all evidence does point to that

86

actually love their lil dynamic. cuties.

103

OUUUGH JON WHAT THE FUCK DID U USE UR BRAIN POWERS ON HIM WTFFFFF

104

martin is getting spaceyyyyy uh oh.... be careful bb..

107

jon have you been DRUGGED?!?! (8:00)

jon bb mayb take a break you seem to be like having iron deficiency LMAOO

111

ok we got 14 whores of the universe

1 end - death

2 eyes

3 vertigo

4 the stranger

5 the spiral - madness

6 isolation - fear of being alone / seperated form ppl

7 burning/fire

8 the desolation

9 the slaughter violence

10 the web - also being manipulated

11 the vast

12 filth disease insexts

13 claustrophobia

14 darkness

the meat ❓❓❓

124

OUUUGH HE LITERALLY DITCHED THE RECORDING JUST TO RUN AFTER MARTIN the gays r getting to me

126

WHAT HTEH FUCKKK !>??!?!?!? !??

bro this is NOT therapy. bro ham lukas peter you dickwad what the fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

ISOLATION??????????????????????? WHY IS THE ISOLATION GOD POKING AT MARTIN ?!?!?!?!?!?!??! DICKWAD??!?!?! ?criyng asobbign why

i actually low key love lukas " dynamic duo " is sO funny sjkdjk

martin i miss u come back it;s not woRTH ITTTTTT

fuck i draw jon like trent crimm if he was a twig and gayer and green

131

i physically recalled at the start they've IMPROOOVED their aUDIO... fucking crazy.

also bitches be bitching ( jon AND melane )

honestly fuck yeah helen girl

133

girl is dealing wth SOOO much trauma poor girl........... jeez.

cannot stop thinkin about martin :(

i miss tim.

134

WOOOO MARTIN

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HE LEFT THE TAPES FOR JON WTF

the buried / cave

the end

the corruption / filth

the dark

the desolation

the eye

the flesh

the hunt

the lonely

the slaughter

the spiral

the stranger

the vast

the web

135

feeks like they're reading together but w a wall in the way which is sad

142

MARTIN PLEASADEEE

also jon what the fuck please don't be a dick this lovely lade lost her job and gained so much trauma.

143

jon stop using ur thing constantly on people it makes me worried for you and insanely pushes you to not being human.

jon i know she tried to hurt you both but ur being so mean, im WORRIED.

hell YES hellen

144

martin im still upset at you for going " why does no one tell me anything !!!! " while literally avoiding them and asking yhem not to talk to you!!! wtf broham.

anyway loving this story

145

gertrude what a girl holy cow<3

146

IM SO WORRIED ABT MARTIN AND JON GUUUUUUH WHAT THE FUCK.

150

jon u r so self destructive...

151

holy ahit simon fairchild..

154

what the fuck im sobbing what is this good omens bullshit i love it but im crying not really but like heartbreaking????

171

i don't know if jons gonna survive if he doesn't stop getting weird and weirder.

also adorable "is he your boyfriend?!"

" yes actually "

jon what the fuck w u n these flesh flowers

ok hi!! thst was the last one.:3

i didn't write down reactions for further episodes but if we can bring our attention to me writing at some point ( in early season 5 ) in my sketch book " 10 bets jon or martin dies at the end "

[cursivebloodlines]

my god. the day i've had today!!! ugh. nightmare day. was on my own at work today and this entire week has been so full on, i have no chance of catching up before i break up tomorrow for my week off :(( which is frustrating bc i hate leaving a backlog of work for others to get back to!!! ughhh. on top of that, getting home was a goddamn nightmare. ended up at a bus stop with someone who was laughing at himself, talking gibberish and then singing and going wooo... the buses that stop there both passed and they got on neither. so god knows what he was up to but it was weirding me out. then i had over 20+ mins to wait for that bus. the weather sucks.. then something else happened that i don't really want to mention because it's embarrassing for me. and then i almost made my house look like a fucking massacre had taken place. i must've trod on a piece of glass in the kitchen or something. i just thought ooh, i trod on something funny. thought nothing of it, carried on as normal. was sat in the living room and was like... why does the floor feel wet??? and like idk i guess my feet had rubbed together and i was like..... why is it so slick and slippery? looked down... i had never seen so much blood in my life???? half of my uninjured foot was COVERED in it. looked under my feet and there was a puddle of blood starting to form??? it was bloody (no pun intended, i'm just british) terrifying! got up to go to the bathroom to clean myself up and there were bloody footprints ever. i was so relieved i wasn't the type of person who faints at blood bc my mum was on her way home and i just had visions of her walking in to something looking like a crime scene and me sprawled out on the floor LMFAOOO

but yeah. i am exhausted :D and i've had enough :D and my vertigo has also been a lil bitch which is why i haven't done many other replies (though i've written some sentences here and there!) or replied to messages as of yet and for that i apologise

hope you're doing well though :) it's my last day at work for a week tomorrow so i'll be sure to get things up and running then! thanks for being so patient with me as always xxx

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

I advise you not seek this content out. There's a reason I'm not linking it. It's full of abelism and gaslighting. But I just want to show you what I'm about to rant about because this woman is claiming chronic illness doesn't exist and women specifically are faking to get a diagnosis for attention. And she's claiming this is a mental health issue.

As a disabled person, I need to rant.

The first time I got a migraine. I was 10 years old. They were near constant. I know exactly how old I was because when I went to the doctor, he said it was probably the braces shifting the bones in my skull. They were called just headaches.

If you've ever had a migraine, you would understand that if you were experiencing this much pain, and you were told there was a way to make it stop, you GRAB that shit. I had my braces removed before my jaw was finished straightening because I shouldn't have had braces in the first place and my baby teen started falling out (very late, I know).

And when my adult teeth came in, I BEGGED my doctor to not give me braces again. And remember what I said earlier. If you're experiencing migraine level symptoms and you were told there was a way to make it stop. You grab that chance. Yes, my teeth are still fucked up. Yes, this leads to me dealing with chronic jaw pain.

You don't get how much pain I was in just... all the fucking time. My parents had to carry large bottles of advil with them at all times. Some of my earliest memories is being at a restaurant and my mom being like "I know this is weird but do you have any advil? I forgot to refill the bottle and my daughter is in too much pain to eat". Just from the migraine.

I was taking adult doses of pain meds with my doctors telling me to alternate Advil and Tylenol every 2 hours at the age of 10 (most meds say not for children under 12). Because migraine was not a diagnosis that existed.

When I was in high school, I finally did get a diagnosis from my PCP of "migraine". Idk if it ever went on the record but a was prescribed migraine medication. Which was essentially prescription strength advil and imitrex. There weren't exactly a lot of options back then.

And I again have specific memories of being in school. The ring of the fire alarm during a fire drill triggers a migraine. First thing I had to do when we went back in was go to the nurse and nurse had to call my parents and they had to bring my meds (special school rules the nurse needed the prescription bottle which would make it hard to have any at home). And the nurse was like "when's it gonna work?" And my mom was like "idk. If it does work it'll be like 30 minutes" and the nurse was like "Yeah we can't keep her here 30 minutes on a maybe. This is no place for a kid with a migraine. Take her home."

Throughout all this? I didn't consider myself disabled. Because I could still function. I wasn't missing too much school to pass. I was still able to pass my classes.

In college though it got really bad. I was missing 3 or 4 days of classes at a time because I couldn't hold down anything but water. There's weeks I did go to class that I just blacked it the pain was so bad. I got hurt from the vertigo regularly. It got so bad u finally sought it a migraine community just to try to understand what the hell was wrong with me and just so I had a place where I could vent. It sucked so damn bad.

And this community helped me immensely. They had a list of headache specialists which helped me find my doctor. They gave me a ton of treatment options to discuss with my doctor and they suggested vitamin supplements that I could also discuss with my doctor. It took a few years because I don't react to most common migraine meds, but a year out of college, I finally got a treatment plan that fucking helped. I live a pretty normal life now the only exception being the couple of hours it takes my meds to kick in.

And even through all of that, I hesitated to call myself disabled. I was still functional enough to graduate college without the ADA (but honestly I'd have done better if I had accommodations for all the time I had to miss). My migraines weren't frequent enough to be considered "chronic".

The only reason why I'm able to comfortably call myself disabled now is because of the invisible illness and spoonie communities. They were like "Your health issues impacting most of your life even though there's no physical symptoms? You keep missing important events duev to your health issues? You limiting what you do so to not impact your health issues? You're disabled."

Because I was so afraid of taking something away from physically disabled people by using the label. I'm still going to heavy metal concerts (yes they land me in bed for days after with a migraine). I can hold down a job and still semi-function (I'm privileged that I can get a remote job so if I can't get out of bed I don't need to call in. And I work for small companies that are more forgiving of health issues.)

Listen. I 100% believe in the spoonie movement with all my heart. But what people don't realize is that invalidating the spoonie movement invalidates people like me. People that have had pain since childhood that almost no medication can touch that's coupled with other neurological issues that is detrimental to our health. I was exercising every day, but I had to stop because there were too many days I couldn't hold down food. I was eating very healthy, but I had to stop because there were too many days where calories were more important than vitamins because again I was lucky if I could hold down food. The pain was so bad that there was gaps in my memory and I hurt myself but I couldn't remember how between the vertigo and the memory issues.

And yeah. My migraines don't affect me like that now. I'm on treatment where I don't "look disabled". I can function with the best of the abled people. But it took years of meds and trial and error with my doctor to get here. I'm functioning with the exact balance of person meds and activity levels to keep me found for the things I enjoy doing.

And I need people to realize that's what invisible disability is. Paralyzed person can't walk? They get a wheelchair. I can't go outside without spending the rest of my day bedbound from the bright light and heat? I get meds that help sooth the nervous system (honestly I don't know how the fuck my meds work but this is the equivalent of my "wheelchair")

Yeah! We look functional. That's the point. That's the entire point. Because before this we lost friends and failed classes because we couldn't get our of bed our body's failed us so hard. The only reason why abled people think we don't exist is because we literally couldn't leave the house. And online communities have allowed us to be seen on those worse days when we're normally hidden behind closed doors.

I was able to interact with people online yesterday with my migraine, when previously you wouldn't have been able to see that because I literally couldn't leave the house.

-fae

[girlbenson]

hi for the love of god hello! idk if youve answered this before but favourite kenstew fics?

OH BOY . OH BOY .

kenstewy fic rec under the cut.......

numb gums and nosebleeds by moonrocks

summary:

February 1999. Cambridge, MA.

Stewy is always chasing Kendall, in one way or another.

home is where i want to be (but i guess i’m already there) by moonrocks

summary:

Three days before spring break, Stewy and Kendall get locked out of their dorm. Emotions complicate things.

client kings by leoandsnake

summary:

It is really hot to him, how bad Kendall wants him. He’s a guy, so he’s not used to being desired like that. He’s not used to rapacious male eyes on him. But it’s fun. It’s a very different kind of power, to be able to put a powerful man under your thumb like that. No powerful man has ever listened to Stewy the way Kendall does — mostly they just tolerate him. (part 1 of the frat bros series)

altitude sickness by leoandsnake

summary:

“Us?” Stewy sits up and tugs his boxers back on, so he’s no longer lying prone under Kendall with his used-up dick out. “Us as in you and your dad, the guy who pissed on your office carpet because he was walking around tripping balls from having no oxygen in his brain and the one earthly thing he could remember was that he hates you? That guy?” (Part 2 of the frat bros series)

corporate patricide by leoandsnake

summary:

“To be clear,” Kendall says, coughing, “I don’t want to see or talk to Sandy tonight. I’m not, um, in the right mindset. This is good, though, for you… for you guys. No matter what happens with me, this is good for you, so, just, uh, keep that at the fore.”

Stewy stares at him, then demands, “Why are you talking to me like you’re about to blow your brains out?” (Part 3 of the frat bros series)

buy more stock in roses by skazka

summary:

Stewy and Kendall have a standing arrangement at Harvard.

vertigo

summary:

So, the axioms of Stewy: 1. touching Kendall, 2. getting away with it.

'cause we both know money burns by janie_tangerine

summary:

“Are you still wearing those trousers? The Armani?” He asks, noticing that Kendall has on the same damned pair he used to put on in college all the time even if it was obvious it didn’t fit right.

“Oh,” Kendall says, “I guess. They were a gift from my father’s. Guess I should throw them away. But they seem to fit now.”

“And do you like it?” Stewy asks, honestly wanting to know the answer. Surely he didn’t at Harvard.

“No,” Kendall replies at once. “Guess I could use ruining them for real.”

“Oh,” Stewy asks, “and do you need a volunteer?”

Kendall half-smiles back. “I guess it doesn’t mean you won’t stab me in the back if it benefits you?”

Or: three times in which they fuck under the influence and one in which they don't.

i don’t forgive you (but please don’t hold me to it) by moonrocks

summary:

After abstaining from the vote of no confidence, Stewy is looking to make it up to Kendall.

For whatever reason, Kendall lets him.

(Canon divergence from "Prague" in which Kendall agrees to "talk in private.")

and treat this night like it’ll happen again by postcardmystery

summary:

Kendall and Stewy go on the road trip from (to) hell, hide out and freak out and stop avoiding the hard questions, and come to terms with what it means to pass the point of no return.

bring your love baby, i could bring my shame by blamelessfool

summary:

Stewy resists the urge to roll his eyes, but just barely. He’s bored of Kendall pretending to hate him.

Cannon divergence from "Prague"

Clean Break by skeilig

summary:

“Is that why you’re calling me, you want me to– what, read the stock price out loud to you while you jerk off?”

Kendall and Stewy, after the press conference.

Inside Dark Corridors, Beneath My Ribs by s_endeavour

summary:

Stewy makes a late night visit to Waystar offices. Set somewhere between 1.03 and 1.06.

soap bubbles and champagne by moonrocks

summary:

Stewy visits Kendall in Denver, CO, but quickly realizes Kendall's attention is split.

Chemical Best Friend by s_endeavour

summary:

Stewy meanders across the coffee shop, catches Kendall’s eye and raises an eyebrow. Kendall is standing before he even realises he’s on the move.

After that scene in Lifeboats. You know the one.

[ezdotjpg]

(you may have talked about this before, if so feel free to ignore..)

Do they have any specific physical health concerns? ...excluding missing eyes? (But ofc please do put in any side effect that might cause if you wanna,,,)

I have thought abt this so much lmao

Loft

so, I tend to think of Loft having something similar to chronic fatigue syndrome, possibly caused by the sickness that sweeps Skyloft when he and Zelda are young and nearly kills Zelda (I don't remember what the basis is for this- if it's in the manga or just fanon). So, extreme exhaustion that doesn't improve with rest, muscle and joint pain, issues with memory and concentration, dizziness.

It's manageable for the most part until his journey. He pushes himself so hard and overuses stamina elixirs so much that by the time the task is finished, it triggers a crash so bad it takes like. a year to recover. Symptoms are a lot more persistent after that. He falls back into bad habits pushing himself too hard once this new adventure starts

He also has some nerve damage in his arms from the lightning that causes difficulty sometimes, particularly in his right

He has asthma

Mage

I think i've mentioned this before but early-onset arthritis, particularly in his hands but it affects all his joints. He has magical salves and treatments and stuff that help but sometimes he just. doesn't use them. Sometimes he has to take all his rings off which he hates bc a lot of them have magical properties he feels weak without. It's safe to say that while Mage is incredibly strong and skilled in his own right, he maybe over-relies on magic just a bit

Insomnia. Is that a physical ailment?? idk anyway it does have physical symptoms doesn't it? he probably has a ring for that. maybe don't take that one off bud at least not until ur ready to reckon with it

Wake

Persistent headaches from one too many concussions, accompanied by vertigo, tinnitus, and some issues with memory and concentration

Wolf

Pain in the arm that was cut off and reattached, from the scar but also just sort of. a kind of phantom pain in general even though the limb is still there

also insomnia and constant fatigue bc of it

Slate

chronic pain and some limited mobility from all his scarring. I don't think he realizes how much pain he was in when he first woke up bc it was just like. well this is the baseline of having a body. He pushes through it a lot when he shouldn't

Migraines

Mirror

The scar from the edge of his mouth to his ear that probably pulls quite a bit when he makes expressions and probably hurts sometimes

War

He has a bad shoulder. It's his sword arm. Probably from getting pulled out of socket. From personal experience, once u fuck up the human shoulder there's no going back lmao. It's mostly manageable but it acts up pretty badly sometimes.

Mask

also migraines

Pain in his eye scar probably

Not sure for Mini and Spirit

[remuscore]

Your ghost au headcanons. Hand em over. (/j) lmao fr tho- you have any more headcanons on the ghost au? I love that ghost crew with my entire being-

UHHHHHHH hang on

Remus has always acted like he was totally fine being dead since the beginning, but sometimes when it’s just him and Janus, he’ll get really quiet and mourn the fact that his reckless behavior caused him to die before he ever got a chance to prove himself.

Sometimes Logan’s leg gives out and he’ll fall right through the floor. Broken limbs are a bitch when you’re dead.

Speaking of, Virgil can do some fucked up shit with his neck. Like a cartoon giraffe, this dude scares the others sometimes with how he can bend and break his neck all over again.

The reason Janus and Virgil have these shadows rolling off them is because they have a vengeful streak. Janus is a little more shadowy tho bc a reaper needs to blend in.

I tried going off of different types of pictures of ghost for each of they’re designs. Logan and Patton are based on ghosts you see in screens, Roman and Remus are both supposed to be photograph ghosts, Virgil are those flashes of light where you can’t quite make much out, and Janus is ofc supposed to be the shadowy demon ghosts.

I can’t tell you entirely why Roman’s design is so pale, but I was mostly going off of how ghosts are presented in theatre and old media. Idk I was struggling with how I wanted him to look a lot. Remus is those photos you take from night vision lenses ya know??

Patton is my favorite bc I tried making it look like a shitty television screen in the 70s where it’s all staticky and you can feel the heat coming off it which helps bc he probably leaves warm spots.

Remus and Roman get vertigo real easily. Roman hates it, but Remus thinks it’s fun barfing up ectoplasm.

Speaking of ectoplasm, that shit is basically what your fluid turns into when you die. All that blood and vomit coming from them?? That’s ectoplasm. It looks the same as normal fluids, but it’s thicker and duplicates itself. They no longer have bodies to produce those fluids, so the soul does it themselves by repeating the way they died.

Reapers can’t move on until they finish their lists of souls to guide.

Reapers are also vengeful ghosts that have killed the living and have to serve their sentence by saving souls until they are “forgiven” or they fail a soul and they take their place as reaper.

Ghosts that don’t know what they need in order to move on are considered lost and wandering. Remus is one of these ghosts.

Patton hates it when members of his family die, but he enjoys talking with them and helping Janus to guide them to rest.

Janus refuses to talk about when he was alive or when he was a New Dead because he doesn’t want to be seen differently. He thinks them all as friends and he believes they wouldn’t like him anymore if they knew anything about him.

Roman did in fact commit suicide, but he wasn’t aware he did it until he woke up dead. He pretty much fell into a dissociative state and took too many pills without even realizing it. He keeps insisting that it was a genuine accident.

When Logan gets a little more used to being dead, he will ask to go back to his work and see who has taken his job as a teacher, how the kids are dealing with his death, watching over some that took it particularly hard. Patton couldn’t go with bc he has to stay near family, but the others had a fun trip there.

Janus and Virgil fight a lot because Virgil still wants revenge on the people that drove him to die, but Janus won’t let him do that.

[nincompoopydoo]

DEBRIS AND MISERY

THE A-TEAM ; PART 7 / ?

PAIRING: Loki Laufeyson x Female!Reader WORD COUNT: 3.3k SUMMARY: Now stranded on Lamentis with two of the worst variants, you find it difficult to decide whether Loki is potentially empathetic to others around him. A/N: I’m so sorry I haven’t updated in awhile and for posting this slow-moving and kinda uneventful chapter but I promise you, it’s vital for the next chapter as it explains a few things. Please tell me what you think so far and maybe theories? (idk if yall have any lol) gif from this gifset by @kamalaskhans WARNINGS: Swearing. Loki being a jerk. Loki and Sylvie support my writing through ko-fi💖 MASTERPOST ; MASTERLIST

Vertigo strikes you more often than you enjoy. The sensation of everything that encompasses, spinning in tandem with your mind. It’s the work you deal with that constantly sends your brain reeling because the complexity of time travel and time itself sometimes becomes too much to handle. Yet, this isn’t vertigo caused by an existential crisis. It’s nausea from the throbbing gash on your cheek and the numbness of your entire face from the fall through the time door.

For a split second, as your body surges through the door in mid-air, you have a vision, a series of flashing images—crimson eyes blinking before you, the sea, the Sun and fire.

Then, it’s gone and you land with a loud thump.

Your head hurts. Your face hurts. Everything hurts.

A groan escapes your lips, muffled with your face to the ground. You attempt to seize yourself up but immediately halt as your hand seems to come into contact with a shirt-like material. Too soft for it to be the ground unless you are on a mattress. Nothing seems to make sense anyway because a second ago, you had a knife to your throat and another, you are falling.

Deciding that maneuvering in the darkness of your shut eyes isn’t going to give you answers, they flutter open, adjusting to the lightness and hues of your surroundings. Then, every muscle of yours freezes with the realization that it is not the ground you had landed on as you meet another’s eyes with the same stricken gaze, staring back at you. Loki, in a rather unfortunate position, lays beneath you.

Momentarily, time passes like a goddamn laggard.

You can hear and feel every ragged breath he takes. Suddenly, you find yourself swallowing.

What a great time to stab him in the chest if you had a knife right now.

Yet, the moment passes as the tension severely thickens and your anxiety starts to creep onto you with the sudden awareness of your unknown surroundings. Purplish hues can never be good. You continue to seize yourself up in the effort to get back on your feet albeit legs feeling weak when you unceremoniously jab his rib with your elbow and you hear Loki wince from below you.

“Woman! Why are your elbows so sharp?!” Loki shrieks through a series of grunts. In a swift movement, his hands are on either side of your shoulders, shoving you off him. You land hard on your back, head slamming onto something metallic as it clangs with the impact. You groan, hand flying to your head as you eye the God with sharp eyes. “Ow!” you yell but then hear the same exclamation echo from another’s lips—the fugitive variant. You seemed to have kicked her in the knee.

In your peripheral vision, there’s a certain glint that catches your eyes. It’s the tempad, sitting idly amongst the dark gravel. Before you could even begin to pull yourself up from the ground, you are being hauled once more as the blonde climbs over you to reach for the device. But, Loki is quick to grab her by the foot, yanking her away with force.

“Get off my foot!” she growls as Loki attempts to make an expeditious crawl towards the device. He manages to snag it but, the Goddess hoists his head onto a nearby desk with a loud clang.

She already has it within her grasp as you’re struggling to lift yourself.

“Goodbye, variants.” she spits, voice course. If it weren’t for your throbbing migraine and the sting from the open wound along your cheek, you would have properly realized she referred to you as a variant. Well, she’s not wrong to a certain extent.

Yet, she’s still here and no timedoor appears.

“You’re outta juice!” Miss Minutes’ American Southern accent mechanically echoes from the tempad in an almost eerily way followed by repetitive low beeps. You watch her repeatedly stab the screen with slightly wide panicked eyes. “It’s not working,” she says, expression growing anxious with every passing minute.

Loki manages to gracefully stand on his own two feet, even after a brutal hit to his skull, and unexpectedly bends over to you and offers an outstretched hand. You don't say anything, taking it as he hauls you up with a hand to your back as leverage. In an attempt to steady yourself, you instinctively grab his shoulder

Then, you find yourself being yanked by the sleeve and a knife to your throat once again.

She has a scowl imprinted on her face, eyes blazing with frustration and rage.

“Give me your tempad,” she snarls, face close to yours. You can feel the edge of the knife grazing your neck with every inhale. A nervous laugh escapes your lips, eyeing the shine of the blade. “Do you really want to do that?”

For a moment, her face falls, yet it’s gone the next second. She pushes the blade closer. If you breathe, there’s going to be blood. “Give me your tempad or I’ll slice your throat,” she threatens and with your erratic heart pounding in your chest, you manage to cry out.

“I don’t have a tempad!”

“She doesn’t have a tempad!”

You and Loki exclaimed synchronically and shared a look. As far as you were concerned, only Renslayer and Mobius knew about the confiscation of your tempad because it was embarrassing enough to be the only analyst to be called to court. You have so many questions but right now, you should be thinking about how your one slash away from being decapitated.

You feel his grip on your back tighten and within a split second, everything changes around you.

Your surroundings have changed, her knife is no longer on your neck. Magically, you have been transported across the room, facing her back. Loki releases his hold on you and shoves the blonde to the side as she tumbles into a storage shelf.

Your stomach churns unannounced, feeling like the floors are spinning below you as you try to wrap around the fact that you were on the other end of the room a while ago and now you’re here. Transportation or whatever the hell it was, made your insides feel like it's about to spew out of your mouth.

“Never do that again,” you groan, holding your abdomen. Meanwhile, Loki has plucked the tempad from the ground and the other doesn’t seem to want to take the hint that fighting isn’t going to do any good to the situation.

“Just give it back to me. You don’t even know how to recharge it.”

“Well, I do.” you chirp and she eyes you with a scowl. “And so does he. You’re not the only tech-savvy Loki.”

“Don’t call me that!”

You and Loki shoot a bewildered look her way.

“Tech-savvy?”

You swing your head to look at the God who shares an expression equivalent to your own, silently raising the only reasonable question at the moment: What the fuck?

Once again, both of your minds seem to be working in tandem as the two of you echo the same question at the same time like two peas in a fucking pod.

“No. A Loki.” Her gaze shifts between the two of you as she shifts in her stance ready to pounce. Yet, as she does, you see that flicker of green magic appear. In a blink of an eye, the tempad disappears. You suddenly grow worried.

“Loki, where’s tempad?—”

“So, you’re just fully a magician then?” The blonde cuts you off with a mocking tone, snarl directed towards Loki. You watch how his shoulders stiffen at her words.

“Fine. For my next trick,” from his grasp emerges a pair of daggers. “I’ll make you disappear.”

“Woah, Woah. Okay. Now, hang on—” as you were forcing yourself between the two, a shot of flame whizzes just about an inch away from your face, from above. You yelp at the sudden streak of fire right before your eyes as you watch it extinguish to nothing once it hit the ground. The three of you stagger back at the surprise of it.

“Is that one of your powers?”

“Where did you send us?”

Curiosity gets the better of you as you crouch down to inspect the hole in the ground. There are chunks of rock with pieces of dull metallic material amongst the debris. You recognize it in the way it shines under the light that beams through from above—it’s Iridium.

You know exactly where you are.

“You have got to be fucking me.”

Abruptly standing, your hands fly up to hold the sides of your head, face morphing to sheer horror, eyes are wide and breaths deepened. The two Lokis stare at you with slightly anxious looks. You attempt to pull back the wisps of your hair that caress your bloody and bruised cheeks to try and diffuse the growing panic and anger sizzling in your chest.

You feel compressed, stuffy. It doesn’t help when you have two pairs of eyes staring you down while you have a meltdown. So, with the turn of your heel, you trudge out of what you finally figured to be one of the fleets of tents as part of a relief camp. The two variants trail behind you.

A sky filled with light bursts and streaks of asteroids and planetoids. In the foreground, the planet Lamentis grows immensely, its structure severely fractured. The collapse of Lamentis is the ultimate apocalypse and the three of you might as well be dead by now. The ground beneath you rumbles as asteroids shoot towards you from above like flaming arrows. Your head begins to throb all over again at the apocalyptic sight.

“You idiot! This is Lamentis-1!” You hear the woman scream as Loki bickers back. “I don’t know what that means!”

You whip your head to the two of you, teeth-gritting and nose flared—you’re practically seething. “We’re on a moon and that planet is about to crash into and destroy all of us! No one makes it out of here and it’s your fault we’re stranded here!” Your anger is directed towards the two but Loki very well knows it’s specifically him. He swallows, attempting to hide his sudden guilt. “So, fuck you. Fuck both of you—”

“Oh, isn’t that just fantastic—”

“Watch out!”

The woman hollers and suddenly, you are being pushed aside as a meteorite darts, punctuated by a screech that makes your ears ring. Then, you find yourself being guided by firm grips to your arms, dragging you as the three of you sprint across the area. You seek temporary shelter under a tanker, crouching behind its tire. The two variants continue to bicker but to you, their voices are muffled as all you hear is intense ringing.

The fugitive variant abruptly stands, extending her finger to a rundown mining shack. “There!” and once again, much to your feet’s dismay, you’re sprinting through a goddamn warzone. From experience, you know you’re not a fast runner—the whole physicality to it just doesn’t match up to your capabilities. So, you trail behind them, struggling to catch up yet, despite your efforts, the universe tends to play your enemy once again as a meteorite strikes you in the arm.

You collapse to the ground and your right ear starts to ring again, louder than before. You don’t hear your shrill scream, cutting through the noise of the eruptions—it’s just a high-pitched tone drumming in your ears and the excruciating pain burning in your arm.

Loki appears before you, barking words you can’t hear. All you do is grip your arm, pressing into the wound. There’s definitely blood, you feel it surging within your fingers. Indefinitely, you feel his hand sharply tug at the crook of your unhurt arm, hauling you up to stand. His other arm curls around your back, pulling you with him in an attempt to make a run for it towards the shack. Overhead, you see her running, whipping her head around to glance at you. She looks afraid.

The ringing finally halts and through all the wailing like war cries ricocheting across the crater, you hear his voice, ragged and low. It's only for your ears. “Come on, just a little more—”

You’re close to shelter with the blonde a few steps ahead of you. You unconsciously knot your hand against the fabric of his jacket, as if it will conjure any lasting energy left in you push yourself forward, and prevent you from thinking about your bleeding arm.

Eventually, the three of you make it to the shack, slamming the door shut once you’re stepping into the place with the sound of muted metallic thunks. You free yourself from his hold, sliding down the door and to your feet, feeling weak as ever. Your eyes flicker to the wound and it's unexpectedly huge and crimson. You groan, ignoring how the constant arguing of the two variants has become white noise to you but right now, all you need is some goddamn silence.

“Would you two just shut up?” Their pathetic squabble comes to an abrupt stop at your words. You then fish out a handkerchief, from your back pocket, weakly waving it towards your bleeding arm. “—And help me out here?”

The blonde’s snarl returns, “And why would we even help you?”

Loki turns to her with a surprised look. “We? So, we are a team—”

“Shut up—”

“Because let’s face it. The two of you are pathetic liars and you don’t actually know how to charge the tempad. So, help me out here before I start losing more blood than I should and you’ll have no way off this moon.” There’s silence and all you do is concentrate on your breathing as the two of them just stand there, staring, thinking. They share a look. The quiet passes in a moment, Loki surprisingly steps towards you and goes to crouch down to your level. He plucks the handkerchief from your grasp and ties a firm knot.

“Does this mean you’re not planning on killing us?”

You snort, gaze shifting between the two. “Not for now.”

You don't notice the flicker of green emerging from his fingertips as he holds his palm against your wound. You don't notice how the pain nearly subsides at his touch.

—

The golden cocktail glass mocks you with the lack of alcoholic liquid. It shines under the pretty and obscure chandelier above the circular bar where a bartender shuffles her way around. It also manages to reflect the daze of your expression and the flying wisps of your hair that drifts with every passing elite Lamentian adorned with some fancy hat and shiny heels. They seem to move at an obnoxious prissy speed. Though the thought of every being on this moon is about to die and you too might join them in the apocalypse, it somehow comforts you to think that these rich and elite groups, prioritized to enter the evacuation ark, will be joining the others as well.

The trek from the crater to the train had been nothing but eventful. You kept your mouth shut for most of the time, not wanting to lose your energy over two varaints who can’t seem to get along for once. From the woman who blasted the two for harassing her and Loki’s disguise to enter the train, heading for Shuroo, you wonder if this was all worth it.

You also learn that the woman goes by Sylvie. Not Loki.

Strange.

Right now, you aren’t too worried about the major possibility of dying. As much as you hate the two Loki variants that forcefully brought to the current situation you’re in, you know, from working with several variants of the Asgardian prince, Lokis do not die. But, will you? It’s a question better left unanswered.

Loki appears beside you, elbow propped up on the bar, leaning towards it as he faces you with an oddly sickly grin. It’s nearly amusing when you notice how Sylvie and Loki are entirely different from each other, one being much more aloof than the other, yet hold equivalence as well. At the moment, the difference between the two is obvious because you are very sure Loki is as intoxicated as you are while Sylvie has gone off to dream world by the corner of the lounge.

At least you only have to deal with one for the moment.

“You should really stop drinking,” you say, taking a swig from the martini glass. Loki snorts, curiously watching you in a slight daze. “Then, I must call you a hypocrite.” You scoff, not merely paying any mind to his usual antics and clever counters. You spare him a glance before lifting the cocktail glass to rest upon your lips, “Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.”

Amid his drunken stupor, he nearly hears his mother with every articulation of those words. He is yet to admit of his amazement for your unmatching traits to your personality—so wise yet so outrageously reckless. Your mind is powerful but you don’t tend to use it very well. Loki merely hums, deciding to disregard his surprise, and takes a seat beside you on the barstool. You don’t shift or flinch away when his shoulder brushes against yours.

“Untrue. I know nothing about you,” he says, glancing your way in his periphery, “And that is because you never let me.” Your laugh comes off more like a puff of air, hinted with amusement. “It’s not that. There is nothing to know about me. I’m not very interesting, unlike you and your variants.”

Loki turns to you, lips pursed into a smile that’s knowing and somehow charming. “Don’t be so modest. You are a part of the most powerful bureaucratic organization in the universe. You must have been to many places, seen many things...” he trails off, watching the deepening furrow of your brows. You turn in your seat to properly face him this time, “And why does it matter?” You eye him suspiciously as he briefly raises his palms in defense. “It doesn’t. I was just...curious.”

You shift in your seat, arm now propped up on the bar. “Well, curiosity did kill the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back.”

Silvertongue. You narrow your eyes.

“I’m surprised you know that.”

Loki shrugs, gesturing to the bartender for another cup while you carelessly decide he isn’t worth babysitting for now. The alcoholic drink arrives and he takes an unceremonious shot.

“I think you should really go easy—”

He scoffs, “You sound a lot like Thor.”

You’re frowning again.“You’re drunk.”

“And you’re a mewling quim.”

You’re surprisingly calm at his words. He immediately regrets it, thoroughly blaming the alcohol on his once sharp mind. Though your stare is outright intimidating.

“You know, there’s this ancient poem—Hávamál. You might be familiar with it. Hávamál is said to present advice and wisdom from Odin’s very lips. With your current behavior, a particular stanza comes to mind,” you say, voice hinted with cynicism. He knows of Hávamál but with the current scatter of his mind, it’s a lot harder to remember the words of the specific lines of the poem.

“Humour me.” are the words that leave his lips. They are challenging.

You don’t take your eyes off him as you speak lowly, “Er-a svo gott sem gott kveða öl alda sonum, því að færra veit er fleira drekkur síns til geðs gumi”

Less good than they say for the sons of men is the drinking oft of ale: for the more they drink, the less can they think and keep a watch o'er their wits.

You just called him a drunkard idiot in fluent old Norse and it strikes him like a blade to his cheek. Not as bad of an insult than his, but certainly less childish.

His mouth goes dry.

Abruptly standing to your feet, you take a final swig of your drink, slamming it rather vigorously on the bar. “Maybe, you should have listened to your father more often.” With a spin of your heel, you’re walking away from him. Loki swallows, calling after you. “Where are you going?”

You halt in your step, turning to him momentarily with an unknown expression and a lingering gaze. “Away from you.”

TAGLIST:

@lareinedususpense

@poubxlle

@mystoragehatesme

@the-maroon-panda

@kashasenpai

@nyxrae

@johnmurphys-sass

[bigskydreaming]

Speaking of Boone, the other day I had a very weird crack!fic kinda idea that’s like The Hangover + superheroes + why is my brain like this. Basically, there’s a public figure in Vegas that’s being targeted for assassination and Dick’s the Titan available to handle protecting them. Boone of course is the assassin hired for the job. 

Somehow this leads to them both waking up in bed together with wedding rings on and absolutely no idea what happened the night before. Cue mutual exclamations of “ugh, not YOU” followed by the obligatory fight scene but in their underwear (the trashed honeymoon suite gets charged to the Titans’ expense account later and there is much clearing of throats and “Dick, you wanna explain this” to be had). And then both go to do their jobs but discover the public figure that’s the reason they’re both there is now mysteriously missing. And Dick’s searching high and low for him in order to protect him and Boone’s searching high and low for him in order to kill him, and their searches keep crossing paths and getting them in each other’s way. 

And somehow they end up working together to rescue him from an unknown third party so that Boone can kill him then and Dick can stop him from killing him, look, its not a perfect arrangement but its better than them tackling each other through seven story windows every other hotel on their search routes. They can at least agree that that’s definitely slowing both of them down. And they really do need to figure out who actually has the target if Dick’s gonna protect them and Boone’s gonna get paid, cuz apparently that only happens if HE kills the target, not just if the target ends up dead for other reasons. He already checked. Just to be sure, see.

Meanwhile, they still have absolutely no idea what happened the night before and are mostly convinced the other is somehow behind it.

Dick: This kinda stunt is right up your alley, Boone. I mean I’m not sure why or what it gains you exactly, but that’s exactly what makes it something you would do! Your mind is so incomprehensible and every breath you take irks me and I am mightily irked therefor clearly, you must be responsible.

Boone: Ahah! I always knew you wanted in my pants and now I have proof! Admit it, its the only possible explanation! Nothing else makes sense! Nuh-uh-uh, dooooon’t even try and throw me off course with your so-called “deductive reasoning” pfft, I know what’s really going on here. I figured it out, I win, you lose. Suck it, nerd.

Dick: How am I a nerd, exactly?

Boone: Umm, idk, you just are? That’s just what you call a teacher’s pet, which is, uh, obviously you? Boom. Nailed it.

Dick: What are you even talking about? If anyone’s a teacher’s pet here its you! You had your nose so far up Shrike’s ass.....

Boone: Was that before you killed him? Or was that after you killed him?

Dick: For the last. Fucking. Time. I. Did. Not. Kill. Him. He FELL. And wow you really did NOT think through how that just sounded.

Boone: LOL, yeah okay the incredibly skilled master assassin ‘tripped and fell’. Makes total sense. Why would I possibly doubt you. Oh I feel so foolish now.

Dick: Maybe that has to do with your outfit. Orange, seriously? With your skin tone? And I never said he tripped and fell, Two-Face shot him and then he fell. Kinda a key contributing factor there.

Boone: Hateful. You’re HATEFUL. And people in disco-themed leotards should not throw stones. Also, for the record, Two-Face couldn’t have shot him if YOU’D just shot Two-Face earlier that night like you were SUPPOSED to.

Dick: Oh I see so first I’m responsible for Shrike’s death because I killed him and now I’m to blame because I didn’t kill someone? 

Boone: La la la la there you go trying to confuse me with logic again but I’m not listening! La la la la la!

The henchman they’d both been after pipes up then: Do you two need a room? Like damn, I thought you were only fake-married but clearly I was wrong.

Boone: Literally how dare you.

Dick: Wow. Just wow.

They both knock him out simultaneously and then wince. Ooops. He was their lead. Dammit. Now they have to wait for him to wake up.

Dick: Can you believe the nerve of that guy?

Boone: Where does he even get off getting uppity with us? He’s a total amateur! We had him down in like, two moves! I mean seriously, who even trained him?

Dick: Tell you one thing, he would have never made it in Vengeance Academy, that’s for damn sure.

Boone: Pfft. Loser would have washed out on day one. Even Dennis could have kicked his ass back when we were twelve. Hey you remember Dennis right?

Dick: Ohhhhh man, Dennis! Wow, haven’t thought about him in years. Hey whatever happened to him anyway, do you know?

Boone: I heard he ended up working for either Vandal Savage or Count Vertigo. It was one of those ‘ruling the world is my divine right and I like to smite my minions when they fail me or I just have low blood sugar’ types. Can’t remember which. He’s definitely dead though, that part I’m clear on.

Dick: Huh. Yeah, that sounds about right. He was not good.

Boone: He really wasn’t.

Both stop and stare at each other suspiciously, because what, now they’re AGREEING with each other? What fresh hell is this. Seriously. Who is refereeing this even and what does it take to get a flag on the play.

They do ultimately concede that there might, MIGHT be a slim, infinitesimal possibility this unknown third party has something to do with it as some kind of distraction or way to keep them occupied, but even if that turns out to be the case they’re still like 92.67% sure the other is still ultimately to blame for that somehow. 

Look they’ve run the numbers and the math doesn’t lie.

[teamfreehoodies]

teamfreehoodies masterlist

The Witcher (TV) 

See below the readmore to find links and summaries for all the fics I’ve written to date in this fandom.

and we will be elided by the people that we love most

de-aged!Jaskier, hurt!jaskier, hurt!yennefer, exploration of motherhood, families of choice, panic attacks (jask)

“What did you give me?” he growls, burying his fear beneath a burst of anger. The room around them splinters, making gravity an uncertain principle: vertigo makes him drool and he spits, falling over, digging his fingers into the ground in a futile effort to make everything just stop spinning. “Oh fuck, wha’ ‘id you do t’me?” he slurs out past a suddenly numb tongue. The icy burn has spread out from his throat and chest to take over his whole body, sending lightning strikes of pain zinging up and down his limbs.

“You’ll find out soon enough, I think.”

Yennefer is healing after Sodden, trying to pull her chaos back inside herself. She doesn’t actually have time to chase down wayward bards, much less take care of the child-sized version of one she’s never particularly liked all that well. She really is quite tired of being forced to save this fool.

darling, dearest, don’t you see (voices left inside of me)

follow-up to ‘elided" above: After the events of and we will be elided, Loretta writes Jaskier a letter. How do you forgive the kind of betrayal that’s made to save another life? How do you learn to live with the ways your family has hurt you? How do you heal without betraying yourself?

idk man, read the fic.

the heart electric (beats a half-time measure)

Jaskier drops the torch and the dagger, rushing forward to fall to his knees next to Geralt. The light sputters briefly but holds, and Jaskier curses himself even as he hesitantly reaches out to try and wake Geralt. The leather armour of his shoulder is cold under Jaskier’s palm, and weirdly tacky with something; arachas venom pings in the back of his mind like a warning, and he hastily wipes his palms off on his already ruined doublet, reaching forward to cradle Geralt’s face instead. “Geralt?” he whispers; the horrifying truth of Geralt’s stillness catches in his throat, preventing him from being any louder than that. “Geralt?”

Or

It’s not that he hadn’t thought it possible… but Geralt was a witcher. No one had ever mentioned that witchers could die.

Or

Five Times Jaskier Thought Geralt Was Dead, Plus One Time It Was Reversed

this life that we’ve created (inundated with the fated thought of you)

Gods, but this is very nearly intolerable. He’d been ready to forgive him, even then, waiting for Geralt to take it back, for him to turn around and apologize; and he’d been ready to forgive him two years ago, if only Geralt’s path would cross his again, one year ago, traveling slowly from town to town, chasing whispers of the white wolf in between his bardic circuit. He does not know if his heart can take it again, if Geralt once more decides him too much of a burden to bear traveling with. Injured, now, needing to be saved, he could not have engineered a worse reunion had he written the fates himself.

if you could let me inside your heart (could I be enough?)

Post-coital realizations should never be had alone. AKA Jaskier questions his place between these two powerful, immortal, destined-to-be-together beings, and he finds it hurts to be just… human.

this our winter of love (a gift from one above)

“It’s weird but I don’t think it’s witcher-weird.”

“Oh, it’s witcher-weird, alright.” Lambert interrupted, pulling up something on his phone. It was one of those ‘smart’ phones, paper thin, supposedly able to think for itself; seemed like more trouble than Geralt cared to deal with, but Lambert was half in love with the damned thing. “Look,” he said, thrusting the lit-up rectangle in Geralt’s face.

Geralt had to pull comically far back to actually look at what Lambert wanted him to see. The screen showed a small parcel of people milling about a city center. They were all dressed like either they had walked off of a movie set, or they were genuinely from the 1200s. There was even a bard, holding a lute. A distressingly familiar bard, for all that Geralt hadn’t seen that face in eight hundred years.

i carry your heart (i carry it in)

Witchers don’t have soulmates. That’s been true for as long as Geralt’s been alive, a necessary sacrifice for a life spent on the Path. There’s no place for the attachments that humans define themselves by.

It may not be worth it to Geralt, but love has always been the single most motivating force in the world for Jaskier. Unrequited or not, he’s a bard, and there’s a story to be told. He’ll be the one to tell it.

(Who’s the more tragic figure here? The loved or the unloving?)

Jaskier and Geralt are soulmates, bound by the Red String of Fate. But just because it’s written in the stars doesn’t mean it’s an easy path to tread, and it takes more than a nudge from fate to make a soul-bond work. Between the way Geralt feels about destiny, and the trials and tribulations of the path they have to trudge, it’s going to be one hell of an adventure.

the prairie is vast (the train is quicker) | Into the Jaskierverse, pt. 14

Geralt and Ciri are still trying everything they can to find Jaskier. After… a traumatizing split, they come back together in a new universe entirely. They’re offered a chance to distract themselves from their worry over Jaskier, and the perilous journey they’re on, by helping a female version of their favorite bard steal a wagon, rob a train, and, just maybe, come to terms with a worry that’s been plaguing her.

Featuring; much talk of guns, someone getting shot (on accident), a murder! (on purpose), Jaskier the Horse!Girl, one (1) dissociative episode, one (1) panic attack (though not the same character), and just enough fludd and banter to even it all out.

if i loved you (could you stay?) | QF1

He knows the way to Jaskier’s lodgings, knows by heart how to find the tiny row of cottages reserved for the professors and their families, knows too that Jaskier might not even be there; he’s not heard of anything from the bard in months, not since—

He shakes himself, turning away from the uncomfortable memories. What’s done is done. He only hopes he isn’t too late.

A love confession gone wrong leads Geralt to try and fix his relationship with Jaskier.

Go Get Your Mage | Yennfri promptfic

When Yennefer portals into Blaviken instead of Geralt, a more… mutually beneficial arrangement is made.

fate makes fools of us all (she plays the longest game) | QF2

It’s not that she’d meant to become a witch, but… well.

Sometimes these things just happen.

a willing ear (a hand to hold) |  QF3

A little town in the mountains calls for the aid of a witcher, and Geralt and Jaskier take on a contract that’s more than it first appears to be.

Even the divine have friends, strange as it may seem.

breathe with it (bleed with it)

Fringilla was the first. She flexes her hand, feeling again the phantom tendrils of chaos crawling up her veins as her arm had turned to dessicated ash and bone in recompense for her glory. That was what being noticed got you. That was a lesson learned in blood and pain. That was a lesson learned hard and fast and once.

a Fringilla Vigo character study; “There is no such thing as dark or light magic. Nothing in this world is as simple as that.”

[why-its-kai]

hell yea swapped out my smart tv for the smaller and older lcd tv i had in my room but rarely used in there and the ps2 is actually playable on it!?!!! colors/brightness are much better and no lag/upscaling causing vertigo when i move the camera in the 3d space??? like hell yeaaaa my ps2 is playable again !!! (not to mention this tv actually has av/component inputs so no need for adapters!!) and no more ads every time i turn on the tv bc this tv is not smart and only does normal tv things!!! but yea i played about 45 minutes of rayman 2 revolution on ps2, had to adjust picture color/brightness settings a bit but otherwise it looked great and worked pretty much perfectly. most of the issues were from the controller bc all my original dualshock 2s are worn out/broken so i had to buy third party replacement. buttons are fine but the analog sticks are kind of stiff. probably just needs to be used a bit more to break em in. but still this is so great to be able to play my older consoles without shitty image quality and vertigo !!!!!! also fuck smart tvs they are awful so glad to be rid of it lmao like i don’t even need all those smart features since at least 4 of my game consoles have internet streaming service access. idk just happy with my new (old) tv setup lol

[kideternity]

Yoooo for salty asks uhhh, 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 (if they haven’t been asked yet ofc 👍)

4. Worst decision for [x]’s “new direction”?

Cant rly think of much to say abt this outside of I rly dont like how current JLD is like x_x Rory was the only saving grace but the overall direction feels very messy and confused and that ram v imo does not know what he actually wants to do with the team…… also he writes Zee bad 💀💔 also I think the current spiderman is bad but mostly because it’s super boring and not interesting and they're wasting ben reilly as a character by making him peter…..2!

8. What hero doesn’t deserve their hype?

uhm once again h@l jordan lmao….. cannot stand that bitch….. also think t1m dr@ke and D1ck gr@yson (sorry randy ):) are hyper hyper overrated but I don’t hate either of them. Idk I don’t like C@ptain America either I guess I think we're way way way way past the need for like patriotic superheroes. Cycl0ps is also very very very annoying And should have been left behind for better xmen. Okay im good now

15. Tell me about a plotline that could have been interesting if anyone else wrote it.

The Black ant Arc with Eric O’Grady if it was actually more about identity issues and coping with the idea of being a man whose also dead / if you’re actually him or not things like that….. uhmmmm everything about husk and chamber in Gen X would have been way better if condensed down into a story about two teenagers who impulsively get together for their own selfish reasons but realise its not healthy or good for either so break up and remain friends…. Uhm uhm uhm Lightray having depression and major trauma issues would be REALLY good to see if actually written competently….. Gus Yale and Count Vertigo's endings to coping with their bipolar disorder not being literally fucking ableist!!!!!!!!! Also Bronze tiger's arc of self hatred and low self esteem actually being resolved in a more kind and thoughtful way to him and not bordering on being LITERALLY racist…….

16. How has DC/Marvel/publishing company butchered a character that’s not your fave?

uhmmmm i love like almost every character i talk abt a lot but probably how poorly marvel keeps treating wanda maximoff x_x like holy shit the amount of racism and ableism these ppl keep putting out against this poor woman over a bad storyline…. similar thing w the insane ableism with babs TBH like holy shit im so so so so tired of abled bodied oracle or babs batgirl all the time running around fuck all…. Let it fucking END

23. If you could erase one comic book from canon, what would it be?

this one is sooooooooooo hard bc i hate many a book but probably the sandman by n3il g@iman ass…… literally such an awful boring bigoted horrible book that has like literally no merits outside of some good ideas and some nice artwork… its so popular and overhyped and for what! For what! To hurt me personally????????

42. What’s a fandom trope you hate?

maybe not rly a trope per se but definitely the like attitude of ppl who think theyre super well versed and the smartest of all time about a certain character but then u find out they’ve read NONE of their comics….. or like rhe batfam syndrome of completely erasing characters personalities in favour of bland quirkytm attributes you give them

[paintedlight]

Supernatural Season 15 & Sufjan Stevens' “The Ascension”

Teaser: there’s a song on this album called "Die Happy” where the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” for 5 minutes and 45 seconds. yeah. yeah.

Disclaimer: yes it’s all a stretch and I’m overthinking it but also… am I? (yes) 

long post time! know that reading ahead may hurt you and yes it does get worse the further down the track list you get 💕 have fun kids

So just to start off, I think it’s funny that something Sufjan’s discography & Supernatural have in common is the 15+ years of the internet arguing if it’s gay or not, and the answer ending up being yes. PLUS there’s the obvious connection of American mythos + mythology + calvinist themes (I am hissing) + religious trauma prevalent in both. 

If you’re a fan of both like I am, it’s easy to connect them— notable connections being songs like “John My Beloved” and “The Owl and the Tanager” or even “John Wayne Gacy Jr.”, but I’m going to focus on Sufjan's 2020 album, “The Ascension” since even the arc itself seems so connected to season 15 of Supernatural, specifically. 

At least in my head it does <3 enjoy 

MAKE ME AN OFFER I CANNOT REFUSE

When interviewed about the meaning of this track, Sufjan explains that this song is about asking God, “what do you have to say for humanity?” That it’s about desperation, creation, and devastation. It’s about frustration with divinity. Also the vibes are 10/10. Need I say more 

RUN AWAY WITH ME

This song is beautiful, it makes me want to sit in some grass and stare at the sky. 

Some lines that make me Dean/Cas crazy are the two lines in verse 1 and verse 2 that mirror each other by being in the same place melodically:

Verse 1: they will terrorize us / with new confusion / with the fear of life that seeks to bring despair within

Verse 2: I will bring you life / a new communion / with a paradise that brings the truth to light within

Yeahhh so the words “Despair” and “The Truth” were mirrored in this song yes it was coincidental yes I’m clinging to it. It fascinates me 

But this song is about begging someone to stay with you.

sweet falling remedy / come run away with me / you’re all I ever need

VIDEO GAME

My first thought when I heard this song was about how it was such a song for enneagram 4s. If you don’t know what that means, I think Dean is a 4 and wrote a post about it here. 

AND @trapperjohnmcintyre also made the connection between these lyrics and Dean in this post, and honestly I don’t need to say much more than that??

The song is about feeling paranoid and angry that God is controlling your every move and you can’t escape it (aka hating the doctrine of predestination). Of course it’s also about not wanting to follow societal scripts. 

You just want to have an easier life instead of the weight of good and evil resting on your back!!!

I don’t want to put the devil on a pedestal / I don’t want put the saints in chains / I just want to make my life a little easier / I don’t want to play your video game

Also these painful lines, as a treat: 

I don’t want to love you if you don’t receive it / I don’t want to save the world that way

Oh, I almost forgot, also. At the end, the narrator gives up. He’s like well I guess I can’t escape. Gotta follow the procedure. Gotta be a puppet.

I don’t want it to go down that way / but in a way you gotta follow the procedure / so go ahead and play your video game

  LAMENTATIONS

I don’t have much to say about this one but this line always makes my heart ache idk:

I was only thinking of human kindness

TELL ME YOU LOVE ME

Here we gooooooo. Y’all aren’t ready.

Thesis: Tell me you love me despite the primordial darkness about to overtake me. And even if you don’t, I’m going to love you. 

15x18 Despair anyone?? 

I want to just paste the whole song but, here—

DIE HAPPY

Yep, "Die Happy" immediately follows "Tell Me You Love Me." Yes, the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” over and over for almost 6 minutes. 

First of all, the repetition mirrors the end of the song Fourth of July, from Sufjan’s previous album Carrie & Lowell, where Sufjan sings “we’re all gonna die” over and over.

Parallels, baby.

But I noticed something else about this recently though— in Die Happy, if you are listening to it in your headphones, there’s this weird sound that sounds like a wasp flying around your head (it made me uncomfortable which is why I noticed it, haha). After I felt unnerved for a moment, I had a realization— that this could be referencing one of Sufjan’s most beloved songs, “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out To Get Us!!” (yes that’s a real song title lol)

The Predatory Wasp is about how Sufjan fell in love with his best friend at the Bible Camp he went to as a teenager. The wasp is a metaphor for internalized homophobia and also his love and how he fears his love will hurt the boy he’s in love with. 

So, Die Happy references an iconic song from Illinois (2005) with these notable lines:

Tl;dr: 

I want to die happy vs. I can’t explain the state that I’m in / the state of my heart / he was my best friend

Here’s an Despair photoset with Predatory Wasp lyrics via @toneelspeelster. 

ATIVAN

So your best friend has just died happy by being in love with you. You feel like the primordial darkness is on YOU now:

I woke up in stereo—I spent the day in vertigo / I could not get the spirit off my back

You’re once again tossed in the waves of thinking that God is fucking with you. But either way you just want to be tranquilized at this point. 

Is it all for something? Is it all part of a plan / tranquilize me, sanitize me, Ativan

Is it all for nothing? Is it all part of a plan? / make my death wish, mind my business / do the best I can with what I am

Ativan asks, was the true leading woman all this time… substance abuse?? 

Ativan / my leading woman

Long story short, you’re drunk on communion wine, asking the shadows to come back.

fill me with the blood of Jesus / clean my plate 'til he receives us / separate the colors from the black / ... / tell the shadows near us to come back

 URSA MAJOR & LANDSLIDE

Not a lot to say about this (even though I love these songs) so I’m gonna skip mostly, but the narrator has decided he wants to love you, he can’t help it <3 

GILGAMESH

Oh boy. 

I mean you kinda know what’s coming because of the title. The Epic of Gilgamesh is the world’s oldest piece of epic world literature, and Gilgamesh was “the first hero of human history.” 

In the world’s oldest story, The Epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh and Enkidu are “very close friends” (their relationship is very homoerotic and this is barely disputed). Gilgamesh calls Enkidu his brother, and they are mutually selfless towards each other but when Enkidu dies, indirectly because of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh has a breakdown and mourns him like that of a spouse and then has to come to terms with his own mortality. 

The meta level of this is so obvious I’m not even going to go into it. Anyways… here are lyrics that make me want to scream! 

the repetition of “my heart”... the concept of singing a eulogy.... saying your heart is chained to Your Angel............ it hurts

DEATH STAR

Star Wars reference my beloved. Like many of these songs this has Fuck You God energy.

what you call the human race / expedite the judgement day / it’s your own damn head on that plate

vandalize what you create / ... / witness me resist your fate / it’s your own damn head on that plate

 GOODBYE TO ALL THAT

This song is a bop honestly 

When the lyrics were released a bunch of Sufjan fans contrasted Goodbye To All That’s here I am alone in my car / hopelessly infatuted / and I’m driving to wherever you are to Sufjan & Moses Sumney’s song, “Make Out in My Car”.

Yeah, I know, we’re all thinking of this:

Make Out in My Car is basically where Moses gave Sufjan a horny car guy chorus and told him to write the verses, and Sufjan proceeded to write the most liturgical shit ever (and we love him for it). ANYWAYS… Goodbye To All That also reminds me of Dean’s depression and the weirdness that started in 15x19 and goes into 15x20. For some reason he makes it seem more upbeat and happy than it is...

Despite this song being a bop, the lyrics are depressing. He’s alone in his car. He’s hopeless. He realizes it’s too late to have died a young man. 

He’s going to try to move on, even though nothing is left of him, he’s begging someone to turn around and show me his shadow.

He also references substance abuse again—

love me / and leave me / intoxicated

  SUGAR

The music video? Iconic. The mom of a family is making a pie, or she’s trying to. She ends up rubbing the filling all over her face, crushing the fruits, the oven catches on fire. 

But she does it! She makes the pie. 

Meanwhile the other family members are in their rooms, overindulging in sugar in all its forms. And then as she and her family eat around a dining table, occassionally being seemingly marrioetted by some unseen force, she looks angrily over her family, they all seem to kind of lose it, then the house starts to come apart until the chandelier falls on the dinner table. 

It’s the making pie + overindulgence in sugar + marionetted family metaphors for me ❤️ 

Ultimately, the song is about begging for affection, being desperate for domesticity, but you feel doomed, you feel like your defeat is predestined, that you can’t escape it.

You just don’t want to be heartbroken & you don’t want to be angry anymore!!!!

  THE ASCENSION

So you may be asking… does this guy get the domesticity he’s longing for?? Does he get his love back?? 

No. He dies. :/

The Ascension begins with just that. He’s dying.

THEN Sufjan decides to rhyme “confess” with “confess”, in two lines that mean almost opposite things:

When I am dead / and the light leaves my breast / nothing to be told / nothing to confess / let the record show / what I couldn’t quite confess

So does this guy have something to confess or not??? 👀

Moving on… 

He goes back to thinking about how his life was predestined all along, and now after all that, he’s dying. So he thinks about all the times he was kind of like this Mythological Icon. That he always had to be the one to show what was right, to lead by example. That that had been his entire identity. 

And he realizes he needs to answer for himself. 

Then he is frightened— realizing he was always asking what everything meant, what it all was for, but that all along he was just angry and depressed.

But even though he feels a like he should have just resigned himself to meaninglessness, that he only thought he could change the world for the better… it strengthened him to know the truth.

And even through the absolute shit of it all, and even though God & others did things from a place of so-called holiness and hopelessness...

He did everything out of love ❤️

So then he dies 🙃

AMERICA

So, as the end of The Ascension asked, what now? 

The album ends on this long track, which Sufjan describes as a protest against all that America has been and has become. 

It’s a protest against capitalism, of destroying humanity for the sake of some cold machinery. 

I have worshipped / I believed / I have broke your bread / for a splendor of machinery

And in true Sufjan fashion, he makes this song about protesting somehow both horny and religious, god bless

I have loved you / like a dream / I have kissed your lips / like a Judas in heat

I have worshipped / I have cried / I have put my hands in the wounds on your side / I have tasted of your blood / I have choked on the waters / I abated the flood / I am broken / I am beat / but I will find my way / like a Judas in heat

I am fortune / I am free / I’m like a fever of light / in the land of opportunity / don’t do to me / what you did to America / don’t do to me / what you do to yourself

  to finish out, here’s a DeanCas post by @eggcessive with lyrics from America ❤️ I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY WEBWEAVING :)