Tumgik
#don’t actually get new material jfc I just hate it here
r0semultiverse · 1 year
Text
blaming “trans people” who aren’t actually trans to create a bunch of mini reichstag fires across the United States, like wow get some new material you absolute bozos
34 notes · View notes
alirhi · 3 years
Text
Loki ranting
Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.
BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂
So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...
For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.
Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.
When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.
I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.
Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol
Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!
So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.
So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.
Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".
Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.
Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.
So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.
And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!
Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.
Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.
Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)
In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.
At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)
Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD
Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!
I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.
The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD
I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.
What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.
And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.
Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)
So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."
I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.
The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.
This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.
The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.
In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?
And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?
Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.
Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?
Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.
Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.
37 notes · View notes
the-littlefangirl · 3 years
Text
TFATWS episode 2 rewatch commentary
We should've guessed John Walker was going to be an asshole the moment it was revealed he played football in high school
That remix of star spangled man is my villain origin story JEEEEEEESUS i want to punch something
They literally mass produced a Walker action figure in two weeks what the fuck
"Your new Captain America" GAAAAAAAAAAh * angry noises *
"For those who aren't familiar with John's resume" thank you GMA lady
My face during that whole speech: wtf and indignation intensify
Bucky's face: yep same.
Imagine being Sam and everywhere you go you're seeing your one (1) mistake spit in your face overandoverandover again that's g r e a t
Tbh that sambucky reunion was anticlimatic as fuck but i actually liked that, it was like WELL HERE WE GO AGAIN they can’t look at each other for 5 seconds before they need to start bickering
"You think it didn't break my heart" SAM SWEETIE
YeAH TELL HIM SAM
The way I know this clip by heart help me. It's still hilarious but it's even better now that I know that they literally just met and they're already bickering can you PLEASE stop you children
T H E  B I G  T H R E E
Spoiler it was a thing
Love how nonchalant Joaquín is about this entire situation lmao
"You sure about that"
*Fakes smiles* yeah, * screams *
Congrats at least you didn't rip your arm off this time that's what I call progress
is he… is he wearing high wasted skinny (jeans) combat pants?
Redwing i'm sorry for what's about to happen :(
"Look at you all stealthy" PLEASE
"it's white wolf, actually" n e r d
SAM MATERIALIZING OUT OF THIN AIR SAFHAJSFHA this is the second time that happened it’s so funny
H E LLO H O W A R E Y O U?
GOOD! WHAT DID I MISS! NOTHING
They're literally 5 CHILDREN CHILDREN PLEASE STOP
AND I CAN FLY WHO GIVES A SHIT fsdjhfadjkfh
L e t  m  e   s e e
Four
Yeah
Five!
YeaH
“So they're strong. W h a t e v e r”
SFHJDASKFA we're superheroes ma'am vibes
3 supersoldiers what could possibly go wrong
REDWING MY BELOVED FAREWELL
"I always wanted to do that" *gets punched in the face* you deserved that
YEAH BABEE look at those wings
Why do the knockoff duo have a special handshake jesus fucking christ i hate them
“SAM JOHN WALKER CAPTAIN AMERICA” Sam: *Glares harder*
Sam is having a very shitty day
So are we going to ignore that Bucky did t h e  t h i n g with the shield? Ok? Ok.
You can't tell me he wasn't thinking of just grabbing it like a toy and not returning it in the middle of the fight sfj
LOOK AT THOSE W I N G S
*whispers* t h e e arm thing
*Stares at the wall* I CAN'T WITH THAT SEQUENCE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEJSFHJASFAH PLEASE they didn't have to go that far with the grunting noises PLEASE
John Walker getting his ass served is something that can be so personal<3
Also, I like that they've now established that he CAN lose a fight, which makes me wonder if he's also going to use his political influence as leverage against sam and bucky once he goes berserk
"It's one of the big three" "Aliens, androids or wizards" "pretty sure" lmao yeah I don't think that's the vindication Sam was looking for
"Look, I've done the work, okay" SHUT THE FUUUUUUCK UP
"You ever jump on top of a grenade" bucky finding out about it in the middle of a briefing during the war fic trope intensifies
"It's a reinforced helmet" well you're fucking losing the point there then you naive clown
Captain "Kind of the government" America??? NOPE NOPE GOODBYE N O P E NOOOOOOOOOOOPE
"Usually said by the people with the resources" daaamn
“I'm Battlestar. John's partner" A clown that’s what you are
Bucky: YES I'VE REACHED MY LIMIT STOP THE FUCKING CAR
"It'd be a whole lot easier if I had Cap's wingmen on my side" FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUU
"It's always that last line" yeP
Erin Kellyman is??? So pretty???
"The GRC care more about the people who came back than the ones who never left" love how they keep putting those random bits since otherwise their position sounds??? Extremely reasonable?? BUT THEY ARE V I O L E N T  R E V O L U T I O N E R S fuck off
"Let's take the shield, Sam" oh you BET he's been spiraling thinking about 3224 strategies on how to steal the shield during that flight
Sharon name drop:)
YES I KNOW YOU WERE ON THE RUN FOR TWO YEARS I'D REALLY HAVE WANTED TO SEE MORE OF IT JFC @marvel i hate you so much
The whole Baltimore sequence * chef's kiss *
ELI SWEETIE
Friendly reminder that Isaiah Bradley won a fight against the Winter Soldier. Proceed.
"I'm not a killer anymore" bucky sweetie
"You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be" OOOOF
Carl Lumbly's acting f u c k
"How could nobody bring him up" SAM SWEETIE
I'm going to go ballistic now excuse me:))
This whole scene is so well written jesus fucking christ
Have you praised Anthony Mackie's performance today?
Twitter is this clear enough for you?????
Tbh i'm actually surprised marvel allow them to go there even if the situation didn't escalate.
They put the tiiiiniest handcuffs on bucky lmfao
How many more "bucky"s from Walker's mouth until someone punches him?
"He's too valuable of an asset to have tied up" YEAH BEEP BEEP ALARMS GOING OFF RIGHT THE FUCK NOW UHM THOSE WERE SOME… WORD CHOICES… THAT WERE USED… fuck you Walker
"It's something I use with couples" oh coME ON
SFHAJSDFH this is ridiculous i love it
Malcolm Spellman: * agressively takes notes on Stackie's interviews *
SOUL-GAZING EXERCISE LMFAO
THEY'RE SO STUPID I HATE THEM
Sambucky: *chaotic leg positioning*
Dr Raynor: WOW ALL RIGHT
I love that the staring contest thing is the conclusion of the bucky staring joke lmao
AND DON'T SAY SOMETHING CHILDISH
this is literally not about you bucky
"Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right?" YEAH!!!! 
Why is everyone, on the show and outside of it too, acting as if Sam made that decision of out the blue and didn't think about it for six months straight, and look what happened! He got fucking played! He's feeling enough remorse as it is jfc
"Thanks Doc for making it weird I feel much better" LMFAO
Oh you KNOW that the shoulder clap is going to come back unironically and it's going to be soft as fuck
"I feel better" "I feel awful" props for the honesty boys!
"It wouldn't make sense to work with you" more like you're the fucking government's lap dog and we wouldn't touch that with a twelve feet long pole. Let's fucking go Sam let's fucking go
10/10 building of Walker actually being a fucking asSHOLE
The Power Broker name drop!
Yes Bucky SHOULD beat the SHIT out of Zemo. As a treat.
"We're going to go see Zemo" *CLASSICAL MUSIC STARTS BLASTING IN THE BACKGROUND*
Oh I love that last bird eye's shot at the end of the scene
Overall thoughts: This episode was MUCH MUCH better on second viewing. I do think it’s a little bit too fast paced so a lot of things keep happening and there’s not enough time to process them in between?? Again the best moments are the quiet ones like the flight back and the Baltimore scene, but mad props to everyone from jumping between comedy and drama so fucking well. Even though there are, in tone, some very opposite atmospheres in the episode it never feels chaotic, and the situations that happen are very well connected and don’t feel disjointed at all.
The highlight of the episode was definitely the two different ways Sam and Bucky are (avoiding) grieving over Steve, and how his legacy hangs between them at all times. It makes so much sense for Bucky to take the entire situation so personally because Steve was the One thing he knew he could trust, while Sam is trying to see the bigger picture and not just what Steve demanded of him.
Hope that makes sense!
7 notes · View notes
Text
Survey #269
“why aren’t you scared of me, why do you care for me, when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual. What are you obsessed with right now? lol y'all know my staple stuff I'm always obsessed with, so two recent ones are Skillet (I've been binging soooo hard) and drawing again! What piercings do you want? A lot, jfc. More than any, I want collarbone dermals once I lose enough weight to where they're prominent. I've been on a goddamn weight loss plateau for two years. What’s your favorite show to binge? None. I generally don't enjoy binging too much. Do you watch porn? No, not interested. Do you have a secret sideblog? lol this survey blog. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? No. I very briefly considered getting one pierced, but I won't. Are you angry with anyone right now? Not like... actively. But passively it's there. What tattoos do you want? I refuse to die until I'm P A I N T E D  F O R  T H E  G O D S. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Absolutely paperback books. It feels more "real," something to dive into, and it's easier to see and understand how far you're in. We talked about this in Writing once, was an interesting convo. Plus the smell of books, aaaaaahhhhh. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yes How many followers do you have? On here? *checks* 265. Do you read erotica? No, I'd feel SUPER uncomfortable. That's why 50 Shades has never appealed to me. Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No. Ever thought of just picking up and moving far away? Oh yes. What’s the wallpaper on your computer? My lock screen is the Halo of the Sun from SH, and my actual desktop wallpaper is my favorite closeup of my late pup Teddy. What is the last thing/person you took a picture of? Probably a stupid Facebook meme to show Sara or something lmao. Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. Otep. Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm sure I could. What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? Mom had a blue/greenish van for most of my childhood, while Dad had this old tan thing that he nicknamed "Frida the Cheetah" lmao. He had that damn car forever. Have you ever seen counterfeit money? Not knowingly. Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to? Well of course. I grew up with tons of pets. What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Probably texting back "fuck you" to Mom when she was being really shitty when I was having a breakdown. Pick one: laundry, dishes, or vacuuming? I'd pick vacuuming over the others any day. Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No. You are forced to move out-of-state. Where do you go? I literally want to move to Canada. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; choose your route. Back roads, probably. You’re going to be a mom/dad; what do you think/do? Have a fucking panic attack. Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It really depends on the seriousness of the situation, but in most cases I've actually faced, give up. Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so. Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; do you give them one of yours? If we're compatible, yes. Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. Nothing because my life is incredibly monotonous and stagnant. Name one difficult lesson you’ve learned. Life isn't fair, and life doesn't care. Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hey, let's hope I can be a functioning adult before I'm 70. Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yes. Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? Yeah. Does stress ever affect you physically? If yes, how? Oh, yes. My stomach will absolutely hurt and I sweat more than normal (I say "normal" because I have hyperhidrosis). Did you have a money box as a kid? What shape was it if you did? I don't remember... I know we didn't regularly get an allowance or anything like that, but maybe I'm sure I stored money I was given somewhere? Has kids TV ever frightened you? As a kid, I both watched and feared Courage the Cowardly Dog, lol. Do you have any potted plants in your house? No. If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why? Early '80s! What a time for music, metal fashion, and fun. If you ran a store, what would you sell/have? IF I was more knowledgeable on more species, probably reptiles and more proper care materials and give advice that's not shit. Places like PetSmart and Petco just... disgust me. What part in a movie would you love to play? If I was confident in acting, probably the maniac lmao. I've experienced enough Crazy for that. What's the oldest article of clothing you own? I don't really know, but I do know Mom has a lot of my and my siblings' shirts as we've grown up to knit together a blanket one day. Fuckin cute as hell. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at? Guitar, with that electric twist anyway. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba roars atop Pride Rock in the storm and all the lionesses join in FUCK I get goosebumps out the WAZOO. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Twizzlers, disgoosting. If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be? LGBTQ+ rights is #1, then... hm... probably the pro-choice argument. Or just women rights in general. Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? Oh man, my friend Mini. She drew pretty well when we were young, but her skill like... increased exponentially with time. She doesn't draw in a *style* I'm envious of, but that growth tho. Most jealous of….intellectually? Girt. What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? My brain lmao. A famous person you have met? Nobody. Who were the last five people to text you? Dad, Sara, Ashley, Mom, and my grandma. What is your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. Think of the last two people you kissed. Who was more fun? I've explained the "idk if *I* ever actually kissed Girt" before, but just for the sake of the question, I'll just count him. I tbh hated it only ever because why were your lips always wet, sir???? The latest person was Sara, and she kissed fine. If your house was burning down and you only had sixty seconds to grab one or two things, what would you grab and why? Roman and Venus because they're family and I adore them. Out of all the concerts you have been to, which band/singer was the best performer? Alice was great! When was the last time you went miniature golfing? For Jason's and my second or third anniversary, so a long time ago. What’s a song you like from a genre you hate? I always answer this question with a country answer, so let's go rap. Hm. OH, probably a Post Malone song. I actually don't mind him. If you had twin girls what would you name them? Alessandra indisputably, and then the other... maybe like, Josephine. Especially as twins, I'd want two gorgeous, less-heard names. What kind of condoms do you use? I don't use any because I'm not sexually active. Do you say years young or years old [ex: 16 years young or 16 years old]? Man, I miss the days I could confidently say "years young," lmao. Do you have any personality disorders? Avoidant, yes. I'm pretty convinced I have dependent PD, too. Do you shave your arms? Armpits, yes, but not my entire arms. What do you dip your fries in? Ketchup or honey mustard. Has one of your good friends ever moved away? Damn, yeah. I particularly remember this girl from elementary school in I think the 5th grade that I was very close with, yet I don't remember her name now. What color car are you when you play The Game of Life? Dude idr the colors at all. Which hair color do you find the ugliest? I've seen it be pulled off, but generally, yellow. Would you date a guy that wears more make-up than you do? Hell yeah man you fuckin strut that shit. Did you ever play M.A.S.H. when you were little? Ah, I remember that! Sure did. If you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor? My mom. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No, but I would of course. Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not any more than the average person. Do you chew gum on a regular basis? No. List all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: Do you mean just physical? If that's the case, hair, eyes, smile, uh... I feel like that's it. WAIT I can't remember who but someone once called my nose cute. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon, and if not, would you ever want to go in one? No; yes. What type of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro 5. Is anyone else in the room with you right now? My snake. Do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? Not Crest, but a different brand, yes. I hate my teeth. Do you listen to local bands? Not really. I will sometimes listen to an old friend's band, at least bits of what they post on Facebook. Nova Mortis, check 'em out if you like pretty heavy metal. Do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but damn do I wish. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? That's why they're divorced. They, especially Mom, avoid doing so whenever they can. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually. Do you wear rings? Just one, a friendship ring w/ Sara. Are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? It'd be quite a long walk, at least by my standards. What was the last picture you uploaded to your Facebook? A picture of Mom and me. Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? YES. When I find a song I really like, I become VERY obsessive. Like I will play it and play it and play it for days. I in general have an extremely obsessive personality. Do you like staying in hotels? I don't have much of an opinion. It's a nice change of space, though. Are musicals interesting or boring? They're cheesy to me. What is your favorite scent of incense? (If you burn it) Okay, HEAR ME OUT. There is legit a kind called "monkey farts" that smells SO FUCKIN GOOD. Jason used to burn incense in his room all the time and that was my favorite one, so I use it now. Where do you normally hang out on the weekends? At home. I'm always at home, regardless of the day. Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? I never could. Do you like love songs? Generally, yes. They're sweet. Would you rather drink 7Up or Sprite? Fun fact: Sprite used to be my FAVORITE soda as a kid. I even had a fuckin Sprite shirt. Now, I hate it. I haven't tasted 7UP in forever. What is your favorite song as of right now? I'm seriously digging Halocene lately, esp their cover of "bury a friend." Have you ever sex texted? This is gonna sound so stupid, but I'm actually not *totally* sure what that is? Just like, dirty talking or like, virtually RPing sex? The former I did when I was fuckin 12 like a goddamn idiot, but not the latter. When's the last time you went out of state? A year and a half (I think?) ago to visit Sara. What was your favorite TV show last year? I didn't *really* have one, at least not actively. Like I didn't devoutly watch anything. Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? HAHA I sureeeee do. I wouldn't want any, though. What is your favorite Beatles song? "Hey, Jude." If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? I don't want to think about this. What is your favorite energy drink? I don't like energy drinks. Way too intense. Have you ever been to Hooters before? No. When's the last time you tripped? (Literally or, you know) HA, funny I take this survey today because my left foot is either broken or I seriously tore a ligament in it because I fell yesterday. I had to go up a dose on my medication that helps my nightmares, but it's notoriously for lowering your blood pressure, and mine is naturally low. I got up to go to the bathroom and grab breakfast and many times nearly passed out from being so dizzy until I finally fell and my foot bent forward. I couldn't even walk by myself yesterday and am still really struggling today. Our family friend brought the boot she wore when she broke her foot over just a while ago, but if this doesn't help, Mom's demanding I go to the ER. Can you touch your toes? I don't know HOW I can, but I can, I guess from when I did yoga daily and I could pretty much go under my feet. What would you say is the best feeling in the world? Being in love and knowing they're in love with you, too. Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you like croissants? YESSSSSSSSSSS. Do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? Yes. Mom explained to me why one day because I'd asked, but idr what she said. Do you eat cereal bars? No, I'm a granola bar person. Would you consider yourself healthy? Uh no. Assuming you could speak and understand the language, would you ever study in a foreign, non-English speaking country? Sure, for like a year or so! Doing that in Germany would be amazing. Are you on any prescribed medication? A lot. Do you know any immigrants? I know an illegal one that got deported. I probably know others. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? Very scared. I'm just very dependent and ignorant on how to be an adult. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, shampoo, facial scrub, this exfoliating brush for your feet, and then body wash. Is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? Hm. I don't really know. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? I took the SMALLEST bite out of it because I couldn't stomach eating it, but after a lot of convincing I tried a microscopic bit out of deer jerky. If you smoke, what brand of cigarettes do you smoke? If you don’t, have you ever tried? Don't smoke and don't want to. Do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
3 notes · View notes
victor-v · 4 years
Text
so, i finished reading call down the hawk, in a very turbulent way.
on one hand it feels like coming home. the raven cycle was a breaking point for me in many ways, and i hope this serie too. i always miss blue and gansey.
but also it feels different, like the writing was improved, like the story was improved, like the characters were improved. so many more female and queer main characters! i no longer hate adam, hes much more expressing and needless to say i would die for declan, the character development is amazing.
idk im sure im gonna love this trilogy, stiefvater bitch well fucking done, sometimes i forget you are that good. (spoilers and random thoughts under the cut)
-ronan's comebacks belong to an edgy 13 years old i swear
-"ronan missed him like a lung" im dead
-well lynch isn't it hypocrite from you to be bothered by matthew's dubstep music
-he fell in love at first fucking sight
-can you believe this guy thinking about hands and rolled sleeves and longing and yearning
-"life was messy until you were in your twenties" are you fucking sure because more of a mess than ever and im halfway through it already
-theres definitely a huge vicious and vengeful aesthetic here. huge. it's like victor vale will jump out of a door in any minute.
-is matthew really human, if he only can be cheerful?
-maggies power to create eerie places and situations is outstanding
-i love declan lynch. im sorry ronan, i love him
-declan gets furious at ronan for giving away a name and zip code but instantly slides his phone number to this fucking skilled girl mmmmmm weak from you
-the dreamed of you text is a kick on the chest
-gansey and blue's interactions are just too soothing
-my existence feels like walking non stop through the barn's security system
-damn the museum date
-i like this version of adam, actually expressing himself, in an uncomplicated way. i envy it.
-hes....... baby sitting the mint plant this is too soft to handle
-how do you go from soft af to anxiety made words in one page jfc
-i would die for the red haired girl
-lindenmere this, lindenmere that, but how can you get over your cabeswater forest?
-new favourite expression brought to you by ronan lynch: "what, as the kids say, the fuck?"
-i love the motherfucking lynch brothers i love them
-she unapologetically went "im gonna paint you like one of my french girls"
-oh i wish i was a cloud, avoid conversations, thunder a little
-hes so open about adam now, it's amazing
-writers go so often to parentless and family-less characters bc they don't have to deal with a lot of stuff
-if the character called neil from the next books belong to the mob im gonna lose my shit
-"i had another forest" is such a sad line
-this book is 500 pages of ronan being a disney prince
-a disney prince who materializes guns and immediately shot, so you don't forget he's both soft and sharp as fuck
-blues name on his phone is sargento i can't
-something is happening to adam. bitch pick up the goddamn phone.
-it turned into some kind of eerie steven universe
-WHERE. THE SHIT. IS. ADAM JFC
10 notes · View notes
radfem-moira · 5 years
Text
So recently I had the displeasure of finding this old article about political lesbianism again. I’m bored so I felt like I’d share some highlights with the tumblr crowd.
Also, the “you” in my comments does not target anyone in particular. It’s a general “you” aimed at this anonymous author and anyone who might think like her.
So let’s get started...
Tumblr media
The writer just discovered female separatism. Congratulations! Now call it what it is, please.
Tumblr media
I have news for you. About lesbianism.
Tumblr media
Sorry if lesbians' distaste for your homophobic roleplay “disappoints” you.
Tumblr media
That’s a legitimate point - a woman who suddenly comes out after years of being publicly het or bi will often encounter a heavy dose of suspicion in lesbian circles, and that’s not a good thing. Some lesbians were married to a man for decades before they were finally able to break free and come out, and those women need support, not hostility. But you know what caused that suspicion in the first place? Women claiming to be lesbians when they’re attracted to men.
Tumblr media
The underlying assumption is that words mean things. Lesbian means female homosexual. It means “woman exclusively attracted to women”. If you experience any other type of sexual attraction, you are not a lesbian. Political celibacy and political female-exclusive bisexuality are perfectly valid concepts. A little bit of a mouthful, but at least you’re avoiding misunderstandings.
And let it be known that lesbians who criticize political lesbianism do not care about the “process” that leads to it. It’s not that we don’t understand. We’re women too. We’re victims of the heteropatriarchy just the same. Plenty of us have been in relationships with men, where desires were completely one-sided because we’re homosexuals. We get it. Lesbianism doesn’t preserve us from being women.
Tumblr media
I didn’t come out as a lesbian because I wanted to be “counter-patriarchal”! No lesbian does! This sounds exactly like all these dudebros who are convinced that I “became” a lesbian because I hate men, or because I wanted to one-up them or something. jfc
Also, being celibate is not exactly a walk in the park for women! In some countries right now, it’s even unthinkable! And it was that way in the west for centuries as well! This statement downplays the strength and resolve of the women who make, or have made, the decision to stay celibate even in the face of massive economic and social backlash.
Tumblr media
Sexual activity, maybe not. Sexual attraction? Desire? Even if it’s not to be acted upon? Sorry to break it to you, but that’s literally the core defining feature of a sexual orientation: it defines attraction. And to be called a lesbian, that attraction has to be exclusively directed towards females. Honestly, this sounds just like the million and a half 14-year-old MOGAI who try to lecture gay people about how “not all relationships need to involve sex!”
Tumblr media
Oh God, where do I start with that out...
Yes, heterosexual women would likely choose celibacy on an all-female island, because they are... heterosexual. Yes, it is perfectly okay for them (or for anyone else) to assert that they would choose celibacy over gay sex, obviously! Women are allowed to say no! And I also dislike the implication that lesbians would have trouble understanding that concept. We are not men. The myth of the pushy, predatory lesbian who pursues a straight woman relentlessly with no regard for her refusals needs to die.
Tumblr media
This is both infuriating and saddening. The first part - this idea that there is never any debate between radfems or other radicals about the origins of sexual orientation is ludicrous. Are we born gay? Or are we born with a predisposition? Or does it just stem from early life experiences? I have my theories, everyone does, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. All we know is that sexual orientation does not change. Your understanding of it might, your preferences might, but at the end of the day, it’s pretty much set.
The second part of this tells me that the writer here feels trapped by heterosexuality. And that’s understandable! But why straight women think that being a lesbian will in any way “liberate” them is beyond me. Maybe it’s because many of us talk about our coming out as a “freeing” experience? But the freedom comes with not having to pretend to be heterosexual anymore. It doesn’t come from being liberated from the patriarchy. We’re still trapped! One again, lesbians are still women!
Tumblr media
Wait, where have I heard something like this before? Hmmm...
Tumblr media
Imagine meeting a lesbian with some severe internalized misogyny and homophobia, and then turning that against her, from your mighty heterosexual (or is it bisexual?) high horse, and thinking that you’re better than her for choosing something that has only brought her hardships. Imagine being so ignorant, so contemptuous of those people that you also desperately wish to emulate. Does that remind you of anyone? Anyone at all?
Tumblr media
The claim here is this: lesbianism refers to sexual orientation. It is synonymous with “female homosexual”. It is not a political statement, it is a reality. Claiming that we should value political moves above material reality is not just dubious, it’s extremely offensive. 
In conclusion:
Political lesbianism is an inherently homophobic concept. The people who adopt this term as though it describes their orientation are often extremely contemptuous of actual lesbians, and incapable of wrapping their heads around our experiences of homophobia. They also do not believe that we are women just like heterosexual or bisexual women are, because they believe that lesbianism “liberates” us from the patriarchy all on its own.
24 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
[A huge stack of folded papers——25, to be exact——sits on top of the gutted remains of an even larger sketchbook. The papers are blank but there are thirteen lines drawn down their sides in silver sharpie. There’s also a bone folder.]
Book #04 is setting several records:
Actually sewing folded sections thank FUCK no more sitting on the back steps hammering a nail into Campus notebooks for this dude!
I hope I’m prepared for 500 blank pages this may cause regrets
It’s big
It’s so big
I bought a 11x17 sketchbook and tore out every page and folded them in half
I really hope this paper likes fountain pens, this was all a bit !card Act on Impulse! of me if you know what I mean
The alternative is buying A3 Tomoe River and ahahahahsndkdjdjdiddmensixkdpdjd (alternately, sewing together Rhodia/Clairfontaine A4 books—which I look forward to doing! I want a French rule sometime!—but that means Goulet shipping)
I am going to try pseudo-stab binding punched looseleaf sometime in the meantime though
It’s so big
Using the sketchbook backing to make the cover but that means... bookcloth
I thought about making my own bookcloth but fuck it I’ll take the punch in the teeth that is buying it because I do Not want to trade in wheat paste right now thANKS
I love PVA so much (so much, you guys) but fuck I hate wheat paste
Wheaaaaat paaaaaaaste
Cheesecloth for mull?? Sure it’s $5 that sounds great let’s do it if I think about not being completely sure it’s acid-neutral I’ll cry so let’s zoom too fast to cry
It’s the only thing I’m not 100% sure of the materials safety as far as ‘how will Book hold up after I’m dead’ goes, at least, and it’s fuckin’ 1/10 the cost of actual mull
We do what we must because we can okay
URGENT FUCKIN UPDATE ALL PURE COTTON IS ACID-NEUTRAL
AS LONG AS I KEEP USING FOOD GRADE COTTON CHEESECLOTH I’M OKAY
HONESTLY CONSIDERING RELIEVED CRYING NOW ACTUALLY I GET!! VERY STRESSED!! ABOUT CONSERVATION
here’s a conservator who’s actually good at this and working with valuable shit talking about why I’m so stressed.
now: do my—let’s be real about what over half of my pagecount is—do my worms need to be preserved for 200 years? meh.
does my brain set off e v e r y NO WRONG BAD WRONG NO klaxon I’ve got if I don’t do things to archival standards to the entire best of my ability, with ‘my ability’ defined in a punishingly expansive manner more often than not?
o h y e s.
There are 13 holes, because I have an aesthetic to maintain here
“Use an awl to make holes”? Sounds fake here is a leather puncher, because brain genious over here (me) made 5-sheet sections of 50lb paper,
Also I’m pretty sure I blunted my awl a bit with the whole... hammer thing and I’d rather use the leather puncher than get a new awl and still have to wriggle honestly
New awl eventually whenever I do need it but this is Fine, this works, we’re cool
The actual sewing binge will probably happen at more of an early October kind of timescale; I’m still finishing #02 (and, strictly, some TLC for #03 as it passes into regular use...) and we’re catching up on SAYER during the TMA hiatus.
Waiting for Bristol velum so I can do a c t u a l e n d p a p e r s
Bristol costs so much but at least I’ll nEVER NEED TO BUY ANY AGAIN JFC, 20 sheets of 18x24 will last forever
It had better last forever
Work never used tape when sewing spines but it makes sense to want to protect the spine from friction of its own waxed thread
However, I’m still... me
Result: I’m using surgical tape? Probably? Probably.
Witness me
I should probably at least try to ask the theoretical spare-money-having among you to help finance my bullshit, as I’m doing this while currently unemployed and comedically underserved re: healthcare in proportion to how ill I am, these facts are related R.I.P.
(I would also really fucking love to make more books, like, for you, for money, I just haven’t gotten on my soapbox about trying to convince you because they take so long before materials and shipping and our market environment undervalues specialist labor so I talk myself out of things. I could also not do that. And, I don’t know, it’s not like the world wants for other bookbinders but it stresses me out to leave potential archival and fp-friendliness ratings up to strangers on Etsy who don’t talk shop in their descriptions even if I personally could afford to outsource and wanted to, okay? If you’re the outlier DM me or something, I’m working on establishing time-cost estimates, but even I don’t write fast enough to need to make enough books to satisfy my binding cravings just for personal use and my crops are dying so inefficiently...)
Anyway you know what this means:
Await liveblog
9 notes · View notes
pinbitch · 6 years
Text
season five continues please don’t let anything like the last episode happen again:
-huh things went downhill for lana really fast. one episode clark breaks up with her the next she’s on suspiciously bright green unnamed drugs. okay
-clark just. ran to honduras. i lov him
-oh. lionel is here
-official smallville pig count: 2. it’s WILD that it’s taken this long and now we’re on a pig every episode rate
-whoa i think a guy falling on a circular saw and taking like 30 seconds to die is the grisliest death smallville has ever had
-now watch as despite lana stealing his car and also breaking into his house lex is completely fine with her cause that’s normal and healthy
-side note: i think my problem with the whole “i am entitled to your secret i cannot stand all these lies” thing comes from being a gay. like, no one is obligated to come out of the closet and Clark’s Secret feels a lot like that to me
-side note part two: how has literally no one on this show wondering about Clark’s Secret thought “oh, maybe he’s queer”? fucking wild, although maybe i should be thankful cause i don’t see that being done respectfully
-little girl just fucking murdered some fish by smashing all the glass in the house including their tank with her miiiiind poooooowers
-oh sweet lord i forgot how lovely clark is with kids
-lana: you must really trust me. lex: 100% me: she stole your car LAST EPISODE
-KRYPTO IS BACK but for some reason is called shelby now i guess??? okay???
-lois is as bad with kids as clark is good. excellent, great, wonderful. such rich pairing material
-lex getting aol video messages this is a noughties period drama
-evil guy with glass powers killed the fish not the little girl so we’re allowed to like her i guess
- do uh, diamonds count as glass now?
-clark adopting super powered kids is everything i want from this show
-this lex and lana storyline is making me actively look forward to when she is written out he’s been perving on her since she was FIFTEEN
-lana: what are we doing? lex: i thought we were enjoying an evening of chess. that exchange doesn’t really really need any input from me it’s already perfect
-the villain of this episode basically just hates capitalism which is fair. but also they murder people. not fair
-also they have a tinfoil face for some reason
-whoa. does... does lionel shave his armpits?
-lex is STILL trying to find “common ground” with clark cause he still loves him
-my boy broke through a wall then caught a lift this is what i’m here for
-bad guy took of his mask and lionel gasps but i’m there like “i have literally no idea who that is”
-lex luthor is what tony stark could have been we should be very glad he’s iron man instead. i just really love tony stark okay
-i pretty much unironically love the theme song now
-oh clark has a new ~mystery~ sugar daddy now
-lois is doing crunches whilst doing politics and i’m not sure who to thank or what i did to deserve this but OH BOY OH MAN OH WOW
-”clark kent is afraid of heights” is the best running joke this show has set up
-lois continues to have absolutely horrible taste in men and that is not just because she hasn’t shown interest in clark (or alternatively me) yet
-jfc lois just poured nearly an entire thing of sugar into her coffee. you don’t need to drink the bean juice if you need that much sugar babe, come join me in the leaf water corner
-alright by the 15th pun surely someone would have worked out that this guy is a hitman? i mean “it can get a little cutthroat”???
-he just invited lois to a coldplay concert. PERIOD DRAMA
-mmmmmm a classic hard thing shattering against clark shot whilst somehow leaving his clothes undamaged literally my favourite
-lois in the shower! CLARK SEEING LOIS NAKED! yeeeeeeeeees the episode is SO GOOD
-lois takes hour and a half long showers. i love her so much
-lois: why can’t i meet a decent guy from a decent family? me, openly weeping: YOU ALREADY HAVE
-mum kent finishing up the episode being completely right about absolutely everything yet again
-daddy kent shows up at his own grave (extremely extra) to tell clark to kill daddy luthor and he says it because lionel is gonna do something terrible but we all know its because dad kent is missing dad luthor and wants to have homoerotic arguments with him in the afterlife
-mum kent: jonathan, you know you’re the only man i’ve ever loved. me: well that’s not a very straight thing to say
-i haven’t had much to say about this episode cause i’ve been eating my tea whilst watching but i’m not convinced for a second that clark is actually gonna kill someone
-tractor throwing! yaaaay! now we know for sure it isn’t the real dad kent. he spent so long fixing the damn thing he would never just throw it at clark and break it again
-doctor: well lex you’ve never been healthier. me: seriously what happened to the blood purification thing. i genuinely don’t remember that ever being resolved
-lex: clark’s specialty is barging in where he isn’t invited. me: EXCUSE ME? E X C U S E  M E??? that is the most hypocritical thing i’ve ever heard anyone on this show say holy shit
-lois just referenced the night stalker. i see you babe. my girl is into true crime
-i’m actually so excited for Andrew Jacoby, Duke of Kenilworth to show up as general zod but that might actually be ages yet idk
-DO NOT RING PEOPLE WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING
-”i’ll be there tonight” why do fictional people always say this? “tonight” is such a wide bracket of time
-i’m not even gonna talk about lana’s arc this season
-clark just got sent to the phantom zone so that’s fun. no, not fun. what’s the opposite of fun?
-ooooooo, nice use of stock footage of riots
-i have no idea why people are actually rioting but it’s certainly injecting some drama into the last minutes of the season
-lana’s doing her big romantic speech to lex but the whole city is rioting and it doesn’t really seem like the time
-clark is gonna have to save an awful lot of people really fast at the start of the next season when this cliffhanger is resolved
3 notes · View notes
alo-piss-trancy · 6 years
Note
(fire emoji) p5
Okay I have quite a few unpopular opinions I’d like to get off my chest so here we go (keep in mind these are p much just personal preferences so don’t feel bad if you actually like the things I’m about to rag on lmao)
Also I apologize if these show up in the actual tags I don’t want to put slashes in all of these names and ships RIP
!!!WARNING FOR BIG GAME SPOILERS!!!
1. Akechi/Akira is my least fav p5 ship and ngl I feel burning disgust 98% of the time I see it. Both characters are interesting on their own and I love the similarities and contrasts between them (I live for those perfect protag/antag foils), and I do really like those bits where they could ALMOST be close friends but then it gets fucked up mmm. I also like 1 of them pining for the other on occasion (or in Akechi’s case, possibly going past that into obsessive lust) but the other has no interest in anything deeper. But I can’t see them in love at all, especially in content that sticks to canon since there’s so many time constraints and scenarios that would prevent them from having the opportunity to actually form a true relationship.
But also putting all that aside it mostly bothers me because the entire pairing just REEKS of the completely overdone “These two rivals are opposites and boys so they HAVE TO BE secretly in love and super gay for each other” kinda thing that used to be (coughstilliscough) all over the place in other fandoms. Like, I guess potentially in the right hands it could be done well and actually develop the relationship between them, but I really just despise that type of ship in 98% of fandoms and nearly any time I see Akechi/Akira content it seems pretty forced and is clearly wish fulfillment/desperate craving for gay representation.
RIP I know that sounds harsh as hell, I really don’t know how to word my feelings on it in a more coherent manner so this is the best I can explain it? People can ship whatever they want ofc and if I ever spot good content or it has smth I like (like omo fics) I’m down to read it, but it’s definitely a ship I usually try to avoid simply because I’m sick and tired of seeing it EVERYWHERE (and there’s so many other people Akira is canonically closer to/much more likely to fall in love with)
2. In a similar vein, Akira/Yusuke gets on my nerves almost as much as the above. I just don’t see much chemistry between them so it seems a bit forced, but also it’s kind of a personal bias because I just. I don’t like Yusuke. He irritates me so much he somehow pushed all my buttons when I first met him and I ignored him FOR MY ENTIRE GAME and gave him shitty coffee and if Akechi and Mishima hadn’t made me even angrier I probably would call him my least fav character in the game. That said, I’m going to try hanging out with him more than twice and actually USE HIM IN MY PARTY in my ng+ so maybe I’ll learn to warm up to him. And despite my distaste I will admit his lines are some of THE FUCKING FUNNIEST (esp his bits in Mementos jfc)
Also Akira/Ryuji irritates me too bc I also get real tired of the ‘bffs fall in love trope’ and I think they each have ppl that fit them better, but in some instances it can be really cute or kinda deep so I enjoy looking at it on occasion. I’m mostly just tired of it drowning the tags when I’m looking for other Akira pairings lmao
3. Sadayo Kawakami isn’t that great and idk why ppl hail her as one of the best girls. I actually liked her a lot when she first appeared in the game but once you start her social link and get into all the other shit I just got really bored and annoyed with her? I don’t know why because while I didn’t finish it (I got to 7 or 8 I think but then the late game plot dragged me into madness so I couldn’t find time to meet her anymore) I got to one of the big plot points in her arc and it was sad that it happened but…I was already so irritated by all of her lying and she was starting to rub me the wrong way bc despite her being 'kind’ it seemed like any dialogue I picked even when it helped her brought some snark or just obnoxious moping from her so I just kinda. Stopped giving a shit about her. I’ll max her in NG+ this time so I can see the end and hopefully I’ll feel more for her since I know most of what happened but I don’t think she’ll ever be as important to me as The Squad Girls or Tae or Hifumi.
As a character I still like her and there are certain plot aspects I really find interesting/deliciously angsty if expanded on, but I definitely wouldn’t say she’s waifu material lmao
4. Now for an actual game critique: I feel they definitely started off WAY too strong with the first palace/boss, so most of the future game (palace design/boss fights, not the plot the plot’s always top tier) seem kind of underwhelming by comparison. Like the entire way the plot progresses in Palace #1 is awesome when you’re brand new to the game/series and the boss is the perfect Holy Shit moment because, like, just look at that revolting mess, it’s super different from anything you saw before that point in the game and kinda scary to fight and it’s badass. But then a lot of the rest just doesn’t have the same shock or high stakes feeling to it or the palaces aren’t as interesting. Cool and creative bosses/neat palace ideas: #1, #4 (boss and 1 bit of plot, the palace itself got pretty repetitive to trudge through), #6 (amazing boss, loved the fighting arena bit and palace aesthetic, but hated trudging to collect shit just so Akechi could slide us through the plot), #8 (rad design, cool 1st boss, Yaldawhoever was kinda lame to fight tho bc it was a lot of the multi-bodypart stuff we’ve seen before)
Palaces that were repetitive/annoying most of the time/lame bosses: #2, #3 (THE W O R S T BOSS AND PALACE), #4, #5, #7
2 notes · View notes
thelegendofclarke · 7 years
Note
I'm not sure that the Undercover Lover Jon thing is true, even though I get why people believe it. If it isn't true tho, what is the third treason that Dany's going to suffer? I thought it was pretty much agreed that it was going to be Jon.
Hokay I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about this, but I am nothing if nothing contrary af. SO anon I am going to use your ask as a kind of like ~general layout~ of my thoughts on the potential of UCJ.  I’m going to maintain though that I would prefer not to discuss any potential consent issues for personal reasons. 
I am also gonna shout out to the other few anons as, well as @ladyanyawaynwood and @lyanna-mormont, who also sent me asks on this topic. 
SO all right folks *drum roll* It’s the new favorite fandom Disc Horse! Either you love it or you hate it! Either you want to have its babies or want to kill it with fire!… It’s THE UNDERCOVER JON THEORY!
Before I start rambling, you should all totally check out the bottom part of this really excellent post by @him-e about some of the details and possibilities of this theory, because Claudia is so much better at words and explanations and life than me. There’s also this post by @blindestspot, whose no nonsense approach I always really appreciate.
Ok, first of all: I would like to go on record once more in saying that God I really dislike the name Undercover Jon. I primarily hate it because I feel like it’s misleading, at least in terms of what I personally would consider this theory to be. I feel like “undercover” implies deliberateness and ill intent and malice aforethought that I generally don’t really think is involved here. Also, I guess I don’t really subscribe to the Undercover Lover theory at all, because I don’t think Jon’s feelings for/sexual relationship with Dany have anything to do with it (i.e. I do not think Jon purposefully and deliberately seduced Dany for the sole purpose of manipulating her, nor do I think he is merely pretending to have feelings for her for the sole purpose of personal/political gain). 
I truly don’t believe Jon is in any way maliciously gaslighting Dany as part of any Grand Scheme. Personally, I feel that would be too much at odds with the Honorable and Noble character and narrative established for Jon. But that’s not to say that I don’t think the general theory is totally with out merit. I actually think some elements of it could definitely make up a potential plot line. I have explained my take on it as more Flying By the Seat of His Pants Jon- I think “scheme” would be way too strong a word, I think “plan” would probably even be too generous. It’s probably more along the lines of “ok so this is what we are doing now.”
Somewhere along the line I feel like this whole thing turned into something VERY black and white and moralized. I also think that somewhere down the line this turned into a VERY polarized and mutually exclusive theory, which I don’t think would be the case in the event that the theory ends up being true. I have seen a lot of comparisons being made to LF and Ned Stark. It’s either that Jon is Ned Stark’s son and he would NEVER act in this type of morally dubious manner, OR that if Jon were to be acting in this morally dubious manner that he is just as bad as LF. @blindestspot summed up this polarization kind of perfectly imo:
Hyperbolically speaking, either Jon is a cruel cad or he is a faithless idiot. If you step away from the hyperbole, his pragmatism or naivety might actually make him less of a righteous cookie-cutter hero and more like a flawed human being. But it’s the internet and ideas are quickly distorted into their most hyperbolic versions of themselves. If Jon isn’t wholly good, he has got to be evil. If Jon isn’t smart, he eats crayons for breakfast.
Likewise, I disagree with the idea that Ned Stark and LF are the only two applicable points of moral comparison, that just seems awfully restrictive imo. Also, both Ned Stark and LF are dead. This implies that in order to survive the game of thrones, you have to fall somewhere in between. I guess the best way I can think of to explain it is that I kind of view this theory and it’s different variations on a sliding scale… The more deliberate and manipulative the version of the theory makes Jon out to be, the less likely I think it is to happen in that manner. 
Jon is one of the heroes of the show; and not only that, he has often been used or portrayed as the Moral Compass Character. (And example being just this season when he refused to punish Ned Umber and Albs Karstark for the sins of their fathers). The show runners have never had any story line that explicitly and intentionally places Jon in the wrong or in an extremely negative light. There has been story lines where he has acted in a morally ambiguous manner (see: Ygritte and the Wildlings), but he has never done anything purposefully malicious or outright evil or immoral. Also, there has been no indication in the narrative that he is heading toward any kind of downward spiral. I just can’t see the show going the dark!Jon or evil!Jon or morally corrupt!Jon route in the final season when he has been consistently portrayed as the Knight in Shining Armor, Savior, and Hero of the story.
I am a lawyer… So my basic approach to things like speculation is to look at the evidence. Honestly, for this theory, imo the defense for both sides have created reasonable doubt.
Arguments for UCJ
Potential Evidence from Jon’s character:
Through the Wilding plot from s1-s3, the narrative has established that Jon is capable of deception. He is capable of having genuine feelings for someone while not being completely honest. 
Sansa told Jon he needed to be “smarter,” which he could have taken to heart. A plot like this, similar to the the Sansa and Arya vs. LF plot, could be part of the general theme of “I learn” and the Starks going from pawns to players.
Kit Harrington has said this about Jon Snow’s character in s7 and s8: “But this year, I think he becomes a politician… He starts manipulating people in a Jon Snow way - in a kind way, but he has a job to do.” (x) This not only confirms that Jon IS operating as apolitical actor, but could also imply that Jon has a strategic goal or purpose. However, Jon having real feelings for Dany is not necessarily at odds with him having a second agenda. The two things are not at all mutually exclusive.
Jon steadfastly maintained through out the season that he would not be bending the knee. He even went so far as to tell Dany “I am a king.” It could be difficult for people to see how he would make such a complete 180, and a seemingly needless and unnecessary one given that Dany agreed to fight the NK before he bent the knee.
Potential Evidence from the Show:
There have been story lines, like the Sansa and Arya vs. LF plot, that were dishonest on their face. The way they were portrayed was intended to mislead the audience. So D&D are capable of using this kind of plot device.
The way I see this kind of story line going, it would also essentially be a pretty significant parallel to the Jon and the Wildlings plot, where Jon had real feelings for Ygritte but the situation was complicated by duty and circumstance. However, this would mean that it’s material D&D are familiar with.
All of the finale was full of subtext about lying and lies and honor. They laid it on so thick. Thick enough, I felt, that it could imply that Jon is hiding something or that part of him is overcompensating and/or being motivated by guilt.
Arguments Against UCJ:
Potential Evidence from Jon’s character:
Obviously, Jon’s honor code and strong senses of morality and duty are huge parts of his character. It’s totally reasonable to think that he has no ulterior motives beyond forming an alliance to ensure Dany and her dragons will fight with the North.
I think that Jon knows The NK will probably have a dragon how (he has seen the NK raise people from the dead, and he knows from the wight hunt that the NK can also raise animals from the dead). He knows without the dragons, they do not stand a chance. So he is doing everything necessary to ensure the dragons are on their side.
Jon has been consistently portrayed as a Hero and Moral Compass type character. There would be no reason for them to do anything that had the potential to  turn the audience so vehemently against him in the final season.
Potential Evidence from the Show:
There have been some incredibly stupid story lines (jfc that wight hunt). It’s fair to be suspicious that a story line of this manner is beyond what D&D have the tendency to produce in terms of complex details.
There are only 6 episodes left. I have a really hard time imagining how they would pull this off in 6 episodes ON TOP OF everything else that has to happen before the series ends.
In regards to the plot device of characters using seduction and emotional manipulation as a tool, D&D have consistently been typical dude bro’s insofar as it has been largely female characters who have done so (Cersei, Margaery, Shae, Osha, ect.) It might be completely beyond them to think to have a male character utilize those techniques in such a manner.
I see valid arguments being made on both sides here to constitute a generally sufficient case for it going either way. I think that anyone who would argue “yes the is 100% going to happen” OR “no there is a 0% chance this is happening” would be willfully disregarding evidence from one side or the other. Obviously it’s natural that people will find one side or the other more persuasive, everything about speculation is subjective. But I just don’t feel like it would be possible to make any definitive statements at this point. 
All the reasons I have for thinking this could be possible or impossible have nothing to do with me shipping Jon/Sansa. They actually don’t really have anything to do with Sansa herself at all in any different way than they have to do with everyone in the North that Jon’s decision affects. I know there are some people who might not believe me when I say that, but I supposed there is nothing I can do about it. But that’s the thing about speculation: it’s always subjective, there can be arguments made for both sides. While some people may say “Jon has made promises to Dany and he wouldn’t break them and betray her,” the flip side is “in making these promises to Dany, Jon has betrayed his duty and promises he made to all of his subjects as their king whom they trust.” For every argument, there is a counter argument; for every action, there is a reaction. For every person who can’t believe Jon would betray Dany, there is another person who can’t believe Jon would betray his family. For every person who believes Jon was right to bend the knee, there is another person who can’t believe he would do it. For every person who thinks Dany deserves to rule the Seven Kingdoms, there is another person who believes the North deserves their freedom and independence.
All things considered, I do feel there could be some potential conflict in regards to Jon’s intentions and motivations. I think there are various events and ambiguities in the past and present plot, as well as in Jon’s actions and in Jon and Dany’s relationship, that support said hypothesis. My best guess is that Jon definitely has some guilt about bending the knee because he either: a) knows the north will NEVER go for it, or b) was being genuine and feels guilty for having unilaterally made such a huge decision that effects so many people, including his own family, with out their input (which he should because ffs dude come on!) .The only thing that I believe Jon has been outright dishonest about is telling Dany that the Northerners would bend the knee accept her as Queen. The North has a very deep seated rhetoric against the Targaryens. Whether it’s true or not is essentially a moot point, it’s just something that is deeply embedded in their history. In 7x02 they went out of their way to make a ~big deal~ about how “Targaryens can’t be trusted.” The North also has a historic distrust and disdain for Southern rule and the Iron Throne, going all the way back to Torrhen Stark, the king who knelt. I don’t think there is any way that Jon could reasonably believe that Dany won’t be met with opposition from the North… All the rest of it, including Jon’s feelings towards Dany, kind of falls into a gray area of words vs. actions vs. intent vs. motivations. Which makes sense, because this would be a morally gray plot; and it wouldn’t be the first time one of those was featured on Game of Thrones. 
I suspect that, like with Operation Wildling, Jon has no real escape plan or exit strategy here; I honestly don’t think that he has thought about it that much (also implying that any deliberate, premeditated manipulation or ill intent on his part would be minimal or non existent). Honestly, I think that Jon believes he is not going to survive to see the extended repercussions of and reactions to his bending the knee. I think that Jon truly believes he is going to die fighting the NK. He already showed that he was willing to die when he told Dany to leave him behind in 7x06. Like the rest of us, his he is probably wondering how in the ever loving fuck his ass has somehow managed to survive this long. (Honestly being like, “I’ll bend/pretend to bend the knee and then just die so I don’t have to face Sansa” would ABSOLUTELY be a Jon Snow thing to do.) I think Jon made what he saw as the best decision in the present, and isn’t concerned about the future or the fallout. Which, if true, could lead to a couple possible conflicts for next season:
Possibility 1- Jon dies in the BftD and Dany lives, leaving Dany to face the North and Cersei on her own.
Possibility 2- Dany dies in the BftD and Jon lives, leaving him to deal with the fallout in the North and Cersei alone.
Possibility 3- Both Jon and Dany survive the BftD and the North makes it clear that they will not accept his as queen, leaving Jon to decide who’s side he will be on. His decision then would obviously be complicated by his feelings for Dany and his loyalty to his family ect. ect.
Possibility 4- The White Walkers win and everyone dies so it doesn’t even matter!
(*Disclaimer: Obviously this list is just me speculating and is in no way comprehensive or exhaustive.)
And like Anon said, if Jon is going to be the third reason that Dany suffers, then Possible Conflict #’s 1 and 3 could definitely play into that. In #1 Dany would not only be dealing with Jon’s death, but also with the knowledge that he was dishonest to her. And in #3 if Jon ends up siding with the Starks in a potential conflict, that could possibly be a major betrayal.
I also think subjectivity comes into play big time here with regards to which parts of the story people prefer or find more compelling or are more interested in. Game of Thrones has SO MUCH going on and there are so many different lenses through which people can view it. Who are the most important characters? What is the most important plot? Who is The Hero™? Who is The Villain™? What is the ideal endgame? I would bet you pretty much anything no two people would answer all those questions the exact same way. We as an audience have been waiting 6 seasons for BOTH the Stark Restoration/Northern Independence AND the Dany Getting to Westeros plots to play out. I’ve kind of talked about it a little bit before, but for me personally (and I think for others as well), it was extremely narratively frustrating to finally get the narrative pay out from the Stark story line, only to have it be given up and taken away such a short time later. 
I also think that if Jon’s storyline is 100% completely honest, straight forward, and genuine as it stands, then like 90% of the major, climactic events of his arc will seem to have been pointless and he will have learned nothing from them. It would also seem that Jon bending the knee and unilaterally making such a huge decision for such a large number of people so easily would go against a lot of what he has supposedly learned. I’m not even saying that it was the wrong decision or that he didn’t have the authority to make it or even that it would be completely ooc. However, such a seemingly single minded action would show an alarming and annoying (imo) lack of character development… Which, again, is entirely possible. This is D&D after all.
In sum, I honestly don’t have that strong of a stance on this tbh. I guess mine is kind of like a Moderate View on the theory or like, “Undercover Jon Light.” I think some variation of it could definitely be possible and would be an interesting potential plot so I won’t rule it out completely. But I also won’t be surprised if it doesn’t happen.
36 notes · View notes
yakumtsaki · 7 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Well, well, well, look who’s back with the most morally repugnant update in Union history. Me. It’s been a very productive summer of Netflix, chill and giving wrong directions to tourists but all good things must come to an end. Also coming to an end is my ill-fated attempt to kill Max, who, after refusing to eat the cake FOR 2 FUCKING DAYS is finally released from the cage of death. Honestly, I’m impressed, Max, you’re definitely not as stupid as you look.
-Yea, I get that a lot.
I doubt that but whatever, now gtfo and I better not see your Komei-clone ass around Jojo ever again or it’s back in prison for you!
Tumblr media
-So, Jojo, not that we’re not all extremely invested in the excruciating selection process of your husband, but are you any closer to picking one?? I mean I love this whole commune thing we have going but the constant food delivery for 8 is killing us.
Tumblr media
-We’re afraid not, dear brother, it’s starting to look like no one in this world is worthy of our majesty.
Ugh are we really doing royal ‘we’ now? Is this what this has come to?
-Yes, college has really helped develop our sense of self-worth.
How can it be self-worth if you’re ‘we’?
-This is exactly the kind of idiotic questioning that would get you eliminated from the suitor process. 
Oh, perish the thought! And miss out on this classical-music-dick-measuring-contest you have them doing?
Tumblr media
-Ew seriously, Francis, Vivaldi? Why don’t you turn up to Justin Bieber while you’re at it.
Man, what a zinger! Good times. JOJO PICK A FUCKING DUDE ALREADY SO I CAN MOVE THE OTHERS OUT THE LOT IS LAGGY AS SHIT
Tumblr media
-I lost the dick measuring contest and my punishment is sleeping on the couch.
KILL HIM IN HIS SLEEP MELODY
-Maybe later, Real Housewives of Pleasantview is on, Cassandra is getting dragged for the pigtails!!
Tumblr media
-Ha, look at this Vivaldi-listening losér! Point at him and laugh, everyone!
Tumblr media
-Who’s laughing now, bitch? Not you with that hoof right in your French-whore mouth!
-Ugh, aren’t you late for the beans-on-toast feast, you limey piece of merde?
Not since the 100 Years War have French-British tensions ran this high. Of course that one was for a throne, while this one..
Tumblr media
-Is for something far more important.. Our heart.
LMAO Jojo please be serious, you don’t have a heart.
-We absolutely do and it’s made out of pure gold.
Yea I guess, I mean gold is a metal after all! 
Tumblr media
-Do you really think you should be eating decaying Chinese food, mon cheri? You’re going to need a soda to digest it and you know it’s too cold for your teeth!
Tumblr media
-Wyatt, I don’t pay you to think, I pay you to sit across from me and look pretty, and occasionally to scooch down next to me so I look taller.
-You actually don’t pay me at all.
-Yes and obviously I’m getting my money’s worth.
Wow Jojo tone it down, your gold heart is shinning so brightly I’m gonna go blind!
Tumblr media
Precious Gunther has added three new addictions to his existing sex one! A) working out in this atrocious outfit.
Tumblr media
B) blowing bubbles from dawn to dusk.
Tumblr media
and c) and the most disturbing one, constantly being alone in enclosed spaces with his brother’s intended, Brit Brit. At first I wasn’t too worried about it, thinking Brit is a popularity sim so it’s only natural..but then..
Tumblr media
I SEE THIS. GODDAMMIT GUNTHER WHY MUST YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY WITH EVERYONE
-Man idk, it’s almost supernatural. Blame it on God ;)
UGH I don’t even know who I hate more, your whore ass-
Tumblr media
-or this fucking llama that hasn’t gone home in 3 days and is eating all our pizza. 
-I just feel so accepted here, like I’m part of the family, you know? 
GET OUT
Tumblr media
Speaking of furries, not even the cow will approach the fucking cowplant, jfc. I mean you’d expect some kind of kinship there but nop. Great job Jojo, you killed a dozen secret society members for a defective cowplant.
-Mooo :(
I don’t know which one of you did that but stfu, I can’t anymore with this flop ass household!!!1
Tumblr media
ANYWAY back to Brit and Daniel, it seems like my Gunther concerns were baseless, since these two remain eternally into each other, always autonomously doing cute crap.
-Oh Daniel, let me serenade you with the song of your people!  
The kings made us drunk with fumes, peace among us, war to the tyrants! Let the armies go on strike, stocks in the air, and break ranks. If they insist, these cannibals on making heroes of us, they will know soon that our bullets are for our own generals  ♪
ROMANCE ISN’T DEAD
Tumblr media
In other news, allow me to present you all with Melody’s personality panel. I was under the false impression that being the child of Wanda and Stephen she was.. nice?? But nop, total Union freak material! We hit the jackpot once again. Now her best friendship with bitch Brit makes total sense.
Tumblr media
-Honestly girl, this janky ass house is such a step down from the sorority, I spend half the day thinking of ways to peace out.
Tumblr media
-Ugh I know, I was on the fence at first but can you really put a price on good d?
-Aw, what are my beautiful hens cackling about? May I join?
-No.
Tumblr media
-I was about to make a math joke but I doubt you gals would get it, amirite? As Barbie said, math is hard!
- I’m a literal math major.
-Oh I know, Mel, good for you! Affirmative action works wonders!
KILL HIM AND HIS HAREM WE DON’T NEED THE LAG
Tumblr media
It’s another day in paradise. Daniel has finally cracked and gone full Komei, autonomously cleaning shit even though we have a maid..
Tumblr media
Melody ate a ton of burnt grilled cheese and is non-stop throwing up..
Tumblr media
AND THIS BULLSHIT IS STILL GOING ON. STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE
-What?? We’re just talking, GAWD
No you’re not “””just talking””” you’re gossiping and doing sexy whispers, I KNOW YOUR TRICKS GUNTHER-
-I don’t mean to interrupt but I think you’re focusing on the wrong issue here?
OH AM I?? DO TELL
-LOOK OUTSIDE BITCH
Nice try whores, nothing is happening outside-
Tumblr media
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. WHAT. 
Tumblr media
-That’s right, Ti-Ning and I are in love now!
............................FRAN THIS BETTER BE SOME DRY ASS BRITISH HUMOR 
-Nop! We got tired of waiting for Jojo and we decided the best way to handle it was to suddenly make out in front of him even tho we have never even flirted before!
THIS LITERALLY CANNOT BE HAPPENING
-Well it is, so best accept it and we can all move on :)
Oh yea certainly, I mean if anything Jojo is known for his ability to forgive and forget!
Tumblr media
See the ghost of Ti-Ning indeed! Finally a wish Jojo and I share. 
Tumblr media
TI-NING OMFG THIS LACK OF SHAME
-Haha!!! Finally I’m free to be as gross as I want >:) 
Well.. enjoy it while it lasts.
-The hell does that mean??
Nothing, just you know, none of us know when our time will come.. only that it will. The curse of human existence, one might say. Only we among the animal world know that we will die. Memento mori, Ti-Ning. And we will memento you. 
-..Yea, maybe it’s time I move out?
I mean, you can try..
Tumblr media
..but like the curse from It Follows, it follows. It being Jojo. How you holding up boo?
-Oh, I’m great, can’t you tell?
You know what might help? Some of your beloved homework! Do something useful, get your mind off this stuff..
Tumblr media
“Sending The First Human to Mercury and Leaving Him There: A Very Specific Space Exploration Proposal” 
Tumblr media
-Jojό!! I’m writing about how I finally won your heart but please don’t look, I’m gonna read this at our wedding!
-Yea I literally couldn’t care less about you and your thoughts/feelings/etc, what was left of my heart is dead and gone and now there’s only a black hole there.. Oh we could also send Ti-Ning to a black hole if Mercury doesn’t work. Nice.
Tumblr media
-UGH how are you even still alive and breathing the same air as me and not dead from shame like you should be, you vile adulteress???
Tumblr media
-OH PLEASE you’re just mad cause Fran and I realized we can do better than your mega-jaw ass. If not for the endless supply of bubbles around here blurring our vision this would have happened weeks ago!
Tumblr media
-I’m going to strangle you in your sleep and my jaw will be the last thing you see.
-Your jaw would be the last thing I saw even if I died on the moon.
-MAYBE YOU WILL
Tumblr media
.....................well I guess it’s official then. And if the above didn’t seal it..
Tumblr media
..this definitely did. God have mercy on me, what a shitshow.
Tumblr media
While Tin and Fran are woohooing, Jojo attempts to end his troubles once and for all by running out of the house and into a thunder fire. Thankfully the rain puts it out quickly and all we’re left with is critically low hygiene. 
Tumblr media
Man, serving Penguin teas! You have the entire look down, Jo. I’d tell you to audition for Gotham but that’s extremely bad career advice
-Oh god, I almost died!!!! 
Aw I know, but don’t worry you’re safe now <3
-No I mean I came so close but didn’t make it.. :(
Jojo please, if anything, live to kill Ti-Ning and Francis. You owe it to yourself.
Tumblr media
As soon as Fran and Tin are done, guess who rushes in to gossip next to the bed. ISTG YOU ASSHOLES, BREAK IT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT THAT WINDOW
-Whatever, we’d just land on Jojo trying to set himself on fire.
-LOL oh Brit you’re so funny!
I HATE THIS HOUSE
Tumblr media
-HAD FUN, DID WE YOU SLUT
-Get him, Jojό!
Honestly Wyatt, I get being supportive but I’m really starting to worry about you, even demeaning yourself has its limits..
Tumblr media
..especially since Jojo continues to be a massive freakshow. Good lord.
-Oh Francis, don’t tell Wyatt cause you know how he gets, but your total disregard for my existence is making me see you in a whole new, hot, light..
Man, good thing Wyatt isn’t standing 3 steps away from you!
Tumblr media
Oh yes, loving this dinner. An ocean between us..
-I wouldn’t eat that third slice if I was you, Ti-Ning. Your funeral day is fast approaching, don’t you want to look nice for it? 
-Well you’ll be there so it doesn’t matter, everyone will be looking at your jaw.
Yes, what a wonderful night. Now let’s all go to bed and hopefully everyone will have calmed down a little by tomorrow!
Tumblr media
LMAO yea idk what I was thinking.
-Strangle me in my sleep? How about I strangle you in broad daylight???
Tumblr media
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but.. poor Jojo. Not only did he get his ass beat, but to literally add insult to the injury-
Tumblr media
-everyone is lusting after Gunther during his defeat. Jfc, I’d want to set myself on fire too.
Tumblr media
Oh here we go, Gunther to the rescue! 
-How dare you beat up my brother even though he attacked you first? Prepare to die!
-Whatever, I’ve been preparing for that for the last couple days!
Tumblr media
Aw, Gunther is such a good brother/giant loser depending on the outcome of this fight.
Tumblr media
VINDICATION. Bravo, Gunther, defending our non-existent family honor!
Tumblr media
Daniel, in true Daniel fashion, slept through this entire shitshow, which might be the smartest thing he’s ever done.
Tumblr media
Oop, spoke too soon. Say what you want about Gunther and Daniel but man do they both love Jojo! Truly god knows why.
Tumblr media
-So Brit, you’re studying poli-sci, can you think of a peaceful resolution to this? Haha!
Tumblr media
-YOU STFU TI-NING MY FINALS ARE TODAY MY GPA IS ALREADY IN THE TOILET AND NOW IM GONNA FLOP CAUSE YOU ASSHOLES SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT FUCKING AND THE WHOLE DAY FIGHTING AND I HAVEN’T SLEPT AT ALL DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL I’M GONNA BURN THIS PLACE TO THE FUCKING GROUND IF YOU TRY ME
Tumblr media
Well, you might not need to Brit! WHAT IS UP WITH THIS HYPER-FLAMMABLE CACTUS
Tumblr media
Brit returns from her finals with a free pizza! How’d you do, Brit?
-Saved by the nightie again!
NOICE. Got a freebie pizza from it too?
-No, I found it in the garbage. My gift to Francis and Ti-Ning for their 3 day anniversary! 
Tumblr media
Jojo’s official greek house portrait coming along nicely! Wow he looks very majestic..
Tumblr media
..Instagram vs Real Life.
-Bowling is so satisfying if you pretend the pins are your former lovers’ genitals!
Whatever coping method works for you boo!
Tumblr media
Gunther and Ti-Ning are officially enemies which is hilarious because not even Jojo is enemies with him?? Follow your bliss, Guns!
Tumblr media
In an impressive display of brotherly synchronicity we have double slapping across the room. Double the slapping for half the time, Jojo is as always a true capitalist.
Tumblr media
JOJO!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WON! So proud of my baby <3 I’m ofc kidding, this shit has gotten old really fast and I extremely feel Brit watching uninterested. ENOUGH  
Tumblr media
HARD MOOD. Brit is honestly on another level than the rest of us basics. What an icon.
Tumblr media
For some reason I bothered to fulfill Ti-Ning’s want to learn that relationship maintenance or w/e lifetime skill (talk about money down the drain) and the irony of this pop up text almost sent me to an early grave. And we know who’s going to an early grave today..
Tumblr media
IT’S CAKE TIME. REACH OUT, TI-NING. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
Tumblr media
FINALLY. GOODBYE FIGHTING AND INSANE LAG
Tumblr media
JESUS JOJO. STONE. COLD.
Ice Cube would like to say, that I'm a crazy muthafucka from around the way, since I was a youth, I smoked weed out, now I'm the muthafucka that ya read about, takin' a life or two, that's what the hell I do, you don't like how I'm livin well fuck you ♪
Tumblr media
Wyatt and Brit were on their way to react to Ti-Ning’s little accident but somehow got sidetracked and are now randomly arguing on the porch. Honestly I don’t even know what’s going on anymore, I’ve lost all control of this household.
Tumblr media
Jojo rushes over to celebrate Ti-Ning’s demise by immediately slapping the shit out of his grieving lover! Whenever you think we can’t possibly sink any lower, think again. Like right now, after the slapping, are you thinking we can’t sink any lower?????????????????????????????
Tumblr media
THINK. AGAIN.
Tumblr media
ARE YOU SCREAMING? CAUSE I DID
Tumblr media
YUP THIS IS HAPPENING
Tumblr media
IT’S REAL
Tumblr media
IT’S. REAL. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CURSE WORDS IN ANY LANGUAGE TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS
Tumblr media
FUCK YOU FRANCIS. FUCK. YOU. YOU’RE GETTING MURDERED SO FUCKING HARD YOU UNBELIEVABLE ASSHOLE. I’M FUCKING DONE. JOJO YOU’RE GONNA DIE ALONE TIME FOR ALL OF US TO ACCEPT THAT REALITY. WE STARTED OUT WITH 3 CANDIDATES AND ENDED UP HERE. HOW THE EVERLOVING FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN FRANCIS AND WYATT HAVE. 1 BOLT. ONE. WYATT IS A FAMILY SIM I’M SO PISSED OFF I NEED TO TAKE A MOMENT
OK. In my 10 years of playing I have never wanted to quit without saving more than with this bullshit. Look at fucking Fran’s smug ass face and moron Wyatt putting on an Oscar worthy performance of shock and regret. YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME WYATT. What the FUCK are we gonna do now???? I guess good thing Max Flexor survived the cage of death. GOD.DAMMIT
47 notes · View notes
percontaion-points · 5 years
Text
Let’s Play “Moments: Hold Me, Leave Me” Part 1
Time to start a new game. I've named our character Angela, but the game gave her the surname of Owen. She's the daughter of some business tycoon, William Owen. He's apparently very over-protective of Angela; the mom died in a plane crash, and the older sister turned “rebellious”. Like... I'm all for backstory, but maybe? Work harder to include this in the actual story? Show us daddy dearest being over-protective of his baby girl. Angela is 22.
Anyway, on to the actual story. It takes place four years earlier, at Angela's first day of college. So I guess that she's 18 now? Anyway, as Angela's going to classes, she's hit by a basketball and papers and books go everywhere. Oof, been there done that; not fun. Somebody comes over to help her out.
Isn't that Justin from “Challenge Accepted”? Either way, boy does not look remotely straight. He apologizes for having hit Angela... which damn right you should, jackass. However, Angela is a little too startled by how good-looking that Grayson is.
Tumblr media
That's Angela, BTW.
He introduces himself as Grayson Maxwell. With a name like that, I'm surprised it doesn't come with an “-the third” and an air of superiority. JFC. He tells Angela to watch where she's going or else she might get hit again, and then he leaves. LIKE EXCUSE ME? YOU FUCKING HIT ME. MAYBE DON'T BE FUCKING PLAYING BALL IN A BUSY UNIVERSITY COURTYARD ON THE FIRST DAY OF CLASSES, YOU JACKASS.
I'm like two seconds into this game and I already hate him. I hope that the other datable is better... At least Angela seems to think that this guy's a jerk, so there's that.
Angela goes to her class, but Grayson is in that class, too. Ugh. He keeps pestering her in class, amazed at the thought of somebody... get this... TAKING NOTES. IN SCHOOL. (Although, it's the first day, so IDK what there could possibly be to take notes on, but whatever.) She ignores him, and keeps taking notes. Don't rise to his level, honey. However, at the end of class, Angela randomly slips in some water, and Grayson helps her from falling. He also randomly calls her “little kitty”. Time to switch classes, I think.
She calls him out on his shitty behavior, saying that college is just like high school. (Which, maybe if you went to the most chill high school ever, I suppose...) Grayson says that nobody will bother her if she joins his group, but she obviously refuses. However, joining his group appears to be less voluntary and more mandatory... she's already in. Like dude, do you want to get maced? Because this is how you get maced. Also, really time to switch classes.
Random time-skip to four years later. Angela goes to a coffee shop, where she meets up with her friend, Ashton Ryder. (PLEASE DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG. PLEASE DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG.)  
Tumblr media
At least he doesn't dress like he's auditioning for a boy band, so there's that. Team Ashton (I guess?)
Anyway, he works at his dad's coffee shop, is a year older than Angela, and has already graduated with some IT degree.
Angela randomly brings up Grayson, which... dude. Four years later, and like... drop-kick that assrag to the curb already. Ashton mentions Grayson “stealing” Angela from him, and he thinks that Grayson's jealousy is too much, considering that Grayson and Angela aren't even dating. Grayson is a horrible flirt, and he'll hit on anything that moves, but he seems to worship Angela. Which confuses Angela something fierce, because she doesn't know if Grayson wants to be her friend or to bone her. They both agree that Grayson and Angela are complete and utter opposites, but like... in my mind, they're not even good opposites. They're just horrible together, I think.
However, the reason why Angela's bringing all of this up right now is because graduation is in two weeks, and she doesn't want to lose Grayson. (Word of advice honey: LOSE HIM.) Ashton clearly has a huge crush on Angela, but for some reason, is holding himself back. (Well I for one plan to change that. No way am I going to end up with Grayson.)
Grayson shows up, and he did not forget to bring his ego. Also, Grayson calls her “Angela”, which??? That's her fucking name. I hate these games that let you pick the name, and then they're like “Here's the nickname!” I suppose that there are a few nicknames for Angela, but like??? None of them are that great, I don't think.
Grayson joins them at the table, and he's like “You know Angela, you'd be super sexy if you just wore some sexy clothes and took off those glasses (character avatar not wearing glasses), and stopped being such a stick in the mud.” Gee, thanks. That's literally everything about me. Why the hell does she like this guy so much? However, Angela is quick to tell him that she's waiting for a guy who likes all of that in her. He seems surprised that such a guy like that exists, though. Angela insists that he'll find her, but Grayson isn't so sure. He talks about girls sending out signs, and Angela asks him about that. He says a girl has to do something special that she's never done before.
Angela thinks about this, but Grayson randomly changes the topic to graduation. He says that the only thing he'll miss is teasing Angela. Ashton asks if they're “done” yet, which leads to Grayson being rude, and Angela punching him on the arm.
Grayson then says he wants to take Angela somewhere tonight, but says that it's far away, and they wouldn't be able to get back before midnight. Which is one of her dad's house rules. (Which, girl. You're two weeks away from being a college grad AND YOU'RE 22. Stop living in tyranny.) I would also not like to go with Grasyon, despite Angela's obvious interest. My only options are going with him anyway (VIP), or suggesting something else instead. Guess which I picked?
Grayson gets upset over her blind obedience towards her father, and says... pretty much what I just said about why she shouldn't be listening to her father. (You don't get points for trying, because I know that he's trying to get into her pants.) They start fighting about this, because nothing says romance like “I want to do something.” “No, that makes me uncomfortable.” “DAMMIT, I WANT TO DO THE THING.” Ugh.
Grayson then says that she should clearly stay at home tonight, and storms out. Hey, I'll take it if it means not having to spend time with that selfish asshole. After he leaves, Ashton tells Angela not to cry over that asshole. She says that she's thinking about her mom, and if she was still alive, then her dad wouldn't be so lonely and overprotective. But both of them understand that both of William's two wives have died in accidents, and he's afraid of losing Angela, too.
Angela goes home, where she changes into comfortable pajamas and reads for two hours. She then starts thinking about how much she misses Grayson. (And I feel like I need to start spritzing her in the face with water. NO. BAD PROTAGONIST. NO.)  At least the game gives me the option to call him or not... and I pick not to.
Just as she's searching for something to watch on Netflix, somebody starts throwing rocks at her window. Le sigh. Time to turn on the sprinklers and go sleep in the guest room. All he says is that they'll be back before midnight, and she tells him that she needs five minutes. Le sigh.
He takes her to a party, because... yeah. Real boyfriend material right there. Ugh. Angela knows that the tabloids will pick up on stuff like this... if only because the same stuff happens to her (half) sister, Amelia, all the time. She can't do something like this. However, Grayson came prepared with a wig and sunglasses. Ugh.
In the party, he introduces her to his friends, and gets her a beer. He insists that one drink isn't going to kill her, which... dude. The lady said no. I hate this guy more and more and we're not even off the first section yet. He gives her a sort of out, by saying that she can rest upstairs in the host's bedroom. That's the only non-VIP choice, but I would have taken it, regardless. He shows her to the room, tells her not to open the door for anybody but him, and then leaves. Angela starts reading a random book before she falls asleep.
However, when she wakes up, it's past 2 AM. Grayson comes back, but he's drunk. He wants to take Angela home (BITCH, DO NOT), but he's apparently too drunk to even fucking STAND, and forget about being a safe driver. Angela helps him onto the bed and turns the lights off (DANGER WILL ROBINSON.)
He then starts to put his hand up Angela's shirt (OH NO YOU DON'T YOU PERV!), and then he starts kissing her neck and shoulders. He says that she's beautiful and that he wants her. (Not when you're this shit-faced, you asshole.)
0 notes
bookofmirth · 7 years
Note
Did you ever ship malide?
Hi dear! I did, although not hardcore. But despite that, I still would prefer malide to manorian. I have seen people make the argument that if their genders had been switched (IE Manon had been male), they would have been a thing, or a lot more people would ship them, and… I have to say I agree. It has been a few months now since I’ve read through ToG, but I just remember getting Feels with malide. And not getting so much Feels with manorian as just… them being horny for each other.
(PS I did write a little malide drabble here at the request of an anon/someone who wasn’t actually anon bc I have magical powers at figuring out who they are.)
I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but… oh well! And you can pull out all the evidence you want, and that’s fine. I know that there was immediate chemistry between Manon and Dorian, that the moment they saw each other it was all… a thing. But hey, we ship who we want to ship, right? Not everything has to be canon. Otherwise el*riel would never have been a thing, and I wouldn’t have had to blacklist that. (oh, here comes the salt, Leslie brought the salt, watch the fuck out.)
And can I just say that I really, really hate the idea that anyone who doesn’t ship manorian is just bitter about malide not happening? Like, no. I have other legit reasons.
And, you didn’t ask me about this, but I’m going to tell you - I am not a huge manorian fan in general just because I don’t ship Manon with anyone. I don’t think she needs to be with anyone, I think she has so much going on in her own life that trying to be in any relationship is just… she can do that later. She has to get through all this stuff with Aelin and Dorian and the Wyrdkeys and also uniting the witches and figuring out her heritage and how she can make piece with that and maybe getting the witch lands back and un-cursed, and tbh, relationships are a lot of work. And so… shipping is generally a feels thing, yes? Which means that people would then want her to deal with a new relationship thing on top of all that. At the same time. Let a girl live, jfc. If it’s just sex, that’s one thing. But if it’s supposed to be them being 5ever and marrying and being all kingly and queenly together… meh. Can’t see it yet.
So she can be with someone later. When her stuff is worked out. If that’s Dorian, that’s cool. If that’s Elide, that’s cool too.
And it’s definitely nothing against Dorian, whom I love and adore. I want them both to have all the happiness and great sex, magic hands or no, but maybe much, much later. When all of this drama is over and everyone is ALIVE and Aelin is BACK WITH ROWAN and then I can start writing more fic for rowaelin without it breaking my heart into pieces. (Sorry, went off on a tangent.)
TL;DR - my shipping of malide, on a scale of 1-10, is like… a 5. And my shipping of manorian is like a 4. So it’s not that I don’t. I’m just not invested. (We can assume that my shipping of moriel and rowaelin is a 10/10, would recommend to a friend, will never get tired of thinking of their lives together.)
One of my favorite things about asks is when people send me like… hardly anything. Like very little material. And then I make an essay about it. :D
14 notes · View notes
turtle-paced · 7 years
Text
GoT Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition
Sorry for the delay, everyone (and thank you nice people who sent me get-wells)! Here’s the recap you were promised. It is, as you might say...
5.07 - The Gift
Remember when we all thought the title of this episode referred to the stretch of land just south of the Wall, administered by the Night’s Watch? Good times!
(2:21) It’s been a while since I mentioned how absurd it is that none of these people are wearing hats, but now I have a new issue. Poor Olly doesn’t even have a decent coat for this snowy weather!
(2:46) It’s amazing what a good director can do to enhance clumsily written material; for all the plotholes surrounding Thorne’s issues after Hardhome and the hamhandedness of Olly’s eventual betrayal, the suspicion and dislike come across very nicely without a word.
(3:37) The very fact that show!Sam can say “It’s what I used to kill the White Walker” is a huge change in character. Book!Sam attributes the White Walker’s death to the dragonglass and downplays his own role.
(3:50) Aww, bro hugs. Hooray for Jon showing emotion and affection!
(5:25) Theon’s fumbling with some keys here, so we already understand the occupant of this room does not have the freedom to walk around the castle.
(6:00) We can see that this subplot is all about Sansa’s agency because she is proactively begging a man for assistance. Just kidding! This sequence tracks Theon’s movement, not Sansa’s, dramatically starts with Theon’s realisation of and reaction to the exent of Sansa’s abuse, not Sansa’s, and focuses on Theon’s ability to accomplish things for Sansa rather than Sansa’s ability to accomplish things for Sansa. It’s actually really like how Catelyn and Robb were scripted in earlier seasons, where the narrative centre of scenes with the two of them was Robb’s reaction to whatever event, and Catelyn’s emotions were background and context for his decisions.
(6:05) Then there’s the sexualisation of violence here. Sansa’s still wearing an attractive white dress (the white means we’re supposed to feel sorry that she’s been raped; she’s a good girl), her hair is prettily tousled, and there are very visible bruises on her bare arms. For a good chunk of time the shot of Sansa shows some exposed chest, though nothing so crass as showing breasts. Sansa is still there to be looked at, and for Theon and the viewer to feel bad for her, and want her to be rescued. Costuming, hair and makeup in this scene are trying to invoke a chivalric response (protect the delicate injured lady!), with its classic chauvinistic implications. It was gauged carefully so that Sansa is unclothed enough to be vulnerable and desirable, but not so unclothed as to be obscene, nor so covered up that we can’t visibly and immediately understand that Sansa is hurt and the hurting is sexual.
Basically, the writers want to put viewers in Theon’s shoes as the would-be protector of Sansa, rather than focus viewer empathy on Sansa herself. (Contrast, for instance, book scenes where Sansa carefully decides on clothing and makeup to present a certain image to Joffrey, in the hope of avoiding or mitigating his violence. Those scenes are designed to help readers understand what Sansa feels.)
(6:12) We’re also picking up a while after several days, and Sansa’s dialogue makes it clear that this rape situation is ongoing.
(6:20) Theon also tells Sansa that “it can always be worse.” From him, that’s a reminder that Theon has been through a whole lot of bad stuff, but seriously, writers? One of the first things you have anyone say to Sansa is that “it could be worse”? You don’t even let her get out her feelings about being repeatedly raped without having another character telling her IT COULD BE WORSE?
And then we get a shot of a beaten and cowed Theon just so we understand that THEON HAS BEEN THROUGH WORSE. This should not and never should be a competition of which character was hurt worse by Ramsay. JFC.
(7:02) Now we get back to the writers being cruel, as Sansa takes Theon by the shoulders and tells him “Your name is Theon Greyjoy, last surviving son of Balon Greyjoy.” It shows good perception on Sansa’s part, picking up on how Ramsay has been systematically breaking down Theon’s identity, compassion in trying to reconstitute some healthier identity in Theon, and courage in defying Ramsay. It’s also a display of agency on Sansa’s part, actively working out a way to convince Theon to help her, rather than just begging. So of course it doesn’t work.
(7:47) To really rub it in, the musical motif associated with the Iron Islands is playing.
(8:17) And after shots of Theon climbing a tower, deliberately getting hopes up that Theon was trying to help Sansa, we see that oh, he was going to Ramsay the whole time. It’s an intentional anti-climax, and succeeds in evoking both hope and frustration, but the thing is, it probably shouldn’t have been written in here in the first place.
Consider. They just played a big plot card with a few episodes of setup (the “North Remembers” lady and Brienne’s candle), brought out Theon’s identity issues, and finished it with “lol no Ramsay found out immediately and stopped it.” (All the more odious because this is what happens with Stannis and Osha & Rickon, too.) These plot points should have been saved for the end of the season, because as they were used now, these Chekov’s Guns were firing blanks, meant to startle but not hit a target.
(8:27) Meanwhile, Brienne is proactively staring at a tower.
(9:10) In the same vein as Jon showing affection, Sam here shows care and concern for someone who isn’t Gilly. What is this, what even is this.
(9:36) Heartbreaking book line, well delivered, the scene in and of itself is good - but it doesn’t connect to the stuff before it. Aemon’s wits only really started wandering this episode. The last time we saw him he was lucid enough to give Jon advice. This episode he can’t tell his past from his present. But Aemon needs to be dead for the plot to progress, and the material in the book was good, so into the show it goes regardless!
(11:55) Man, isn’t Ramsay just so much fun to have on screen, saying misogynistic things when he isn’t actually perpetrating physical violence against women? I know I sure hadn’t had enough of him saying cruel things about fat women, and surely the circumstances of the plotline will not afford him no future opportunities to make fun of women he deems unattractive.
(12:12) Here we are in 5.07 and Sansa is just now displaying the sort of initiative she did in Sansa II, ACoK, by attempting to secure the tools of her own escape on her own terms. This just screams that the writers didn’t understand what’s been slowly but steadily going on with this character since day one.
(12:19) Speaking of being cruel to the audience. Stannis’ troops are loyal and battle-tested. Exactly the sort of army that will let twenty good men somehow take out all their supplies unnoticed, ditch Stannis en masse, and then turn and flee in the face of the enemy. Tell one thing to build up expectations, show another because it’s not convenient for the story the writers actually want to tell.
(13:03) This is a really weird way of trying to depict that Sansa’s a) smart and b) undaunted by Ramsay’s abuse. We’ve understood Ramsay’s issues with his bastardy in other conversations, as well as the threat a trueborn son of Roose’s would pose to Ramsay. As for the other thing…needling Ramsay would take guts. Open defiance takes courage. But they wrote this in for Sansa because they think Sansa’s not doing enough to defy her captors, missing the point of several books of quiet, covert resistance. I say books, because her quiet, covert resistance is not present in the show to any real extent; her active participation in the plan for her to escape King’s Landing was written out, her frequent YAY ROBB inner monologue isn’t conveyed, and her long-term deception  to conceal her escape plans is also totally missing. Even her big moment of open defiance was written out, when she knelt at her wedding without hesitation. Not to mention that if the writers were trying to show us that Sansa is brave and clever, they’re kind of failing - she’s not displaying exceptional insight into how bastardy affects inheritance (everyone knows this), and defiance here serves no purpose either practical or symbolic. It’s a sop to the audience. Oh, no, Sansa’s not a pure victim, she can still sass her captors, we’re totally respectful of her intelligence and abilities!
(13:12) And, look, I hate to mention it again, but these characters are all now in rebellion against Tommen Baratheon by virtue of being an accessory to Joffrey Baratheon’s murder or marrying an accessory to Joffrey Baratheon’s murder, so Tommen’s decrees should mean nothing to any of them, including the one naturalising Ramsay. I would be more impressed with Sansa’s intelligence if she pointed that out.
It’s tough writing characters smarter than you are.
(14:02) Ramsay making Sansa look at the flayed corpse of her would-be accomplice is an inferior retread of Joffrey making Sansa look at Ned’s head back at the end of season one. Again and again, we see that the writers don’t have a clue about Sansa’s character development.
See, in that early scene, Sansa controls her own reaction, the only thing she can control. He can make me look at the heads, but he can’t make me see them. She refuses to give Joffrey what he wants. In this scene, ostensibly after four seasons of character development making Sansa “more empowered,” she’s helpless to do anything but give Ramsay exactly the reaction he wants. That’s not just a failure to develop the character, that’s gone backwards.
(15:21) You know what would help a lot of these extras combat the cold? Hats.
(15:55) The Stormcrows rode off last night. They go totally AWOL. They’re wandering around the frozen north doing nothing. I can’t recall them ever being mentioned again. Five hundred men, just up and rode off.
Also, the Stormcrows can ride off in force, but Stannis still can’t get a supply line open and his army cannot advance. What?
(17:06) I do find Stannis’ arguments about him losing credibility as a king for retreating not once but twice convincing, as well as his arguments that he cannot afford to winter in Castle Black. (Wasn’t book!Stannis also a bit concerned about those ice zombies?) I’m not sure I’m supposed to find those arguments compelling, given that Davos is the character in Team Stannis we’re supposed to trust most, and Davos is saying “wait.” Davos also shoots a suspicious glance at a suspiciously quiet Melisandre after Stannis concludes his argument, so I think we’re all supposed to think this is Melisandre’s fault.
(17:55) Here in this key conversation about pressing on to Winterfell or turning back, the writers are making sure we know Stannis finds Melisandre very attractive and this is affecting his judgment.
(18:28) No hesitation. As soon as Melisandre says she wants to burn Shireen, Stannis asks if she’s lost her mind.
(18:54) And within thirty seconds he’s ordered Melisandre away. It’s not a plot twist when someone does the opposite of what they said they’d do and what they believe while not clueing the audience into why they might change their mind; it’s bad writing.
(19:41) Oh, hey, another totally unnecessary scene of sexual violence in which a man must step in and rescue the helpless female from her attackers. What was wrong with shared grief over Aemon’s death bringing Sam and Gilly together?
Oh yeah - that would involve Sam grieving, and not protecting a helpless female from her attackers.
(20:44) Woman called bitch: 1.
(21:19) Note how Sam’s efforts to stand up and fight get more narrative weight than Gilly’s continuing efforts to defend herself. Good on Sam for trying! The value of this sort of effort, irrespective of success, is a major point of ASoIaF. It could not be clearer that this is yet another example, not even the first in this episode, of a woman suffering (sexual) violence to offer a man an opportunity to be a hero.
(21:25) Sam Tarly’s killed a White Walker and a Thenn, guys. Three cheers for Sam buying into toxic masculinity.
(22:44) “What kind of man would I be if I ran away when I saw someone hurting you?” That’s why it’s toxic masculinity. Sam’s not asking what kind of person he’d be if he ran away. Real men don’t run. Women can just do whatever, they don’t get to save anyone.
(22:58) “I’ll take care of you, too.” This has to be deliberate. It has to be. There are so many references to Sam being a “real man” in his relationship with Gilly, that “real masculinity” taking the form of physically defending her and “taking care” of her.
(24:23) What? She actually asked Sam if she was hurting him? People communicated rather than one party mashing their faces all over their partner mid-sentence to control their attempts to speak?
(24:48) Consensual sex: 1. Finally. And by that I don’t mean “finally Sam and Gilly got it on!” but rather “finally, a sex scene that involved consent.”
(25:16) Abs & pecs: 2. Both meant to show slavery.
(25:26) Abs & pecs: 4. One more enslaved man with an open shirt, and the slave trader Malko as well. (Apparently that’s his name? Look, who even bothers introducing their characters anymore.)
(26:33) Here we see that the depiction of entire, brutal socioeconomic systems will bow so the writers can write incidents of Tyrion using his wits to get out of situations. Tyrion just hit one of his guards. That’s serious business. Book!Tyrion considers his physically fighting the slaver guards foolish, is whipped for talking out of turn, and waits for the best opportunity to murder a cruel overseer. To say this scene is shallow doesn’t do its lack of substance justice.
(28:07) Dany here smiling and laughing with a lover she chose, and at the end of season six we’ll hear flat out that she doesn’t feel even a little bad about dumping him for political reasons. We’ll have to keep an eye on the character development between now and then. My current theory is that Dany’s relationship with Daario is not here to serve Dany’s characterisation (as opposed to the books, where just picking a man she desired and having a sexual relationship was a big deal for her, plus the part where Daario basically represented her id), but rather Jorah’s unrequited love subplot. Daario’s certainly dismissed from the plot very abruptly once the story’s done with him.
(28:44) “Even slaves have a choice. Death or slavery.” Hey, fuck off with those toxic ideas. We call that choice coercion.
(29:19) Abs & pecs: 5.
(29:55) “I am a queen, not a butcher.” This could have been good setup for Dany’s reversal in perspective between now and burning down Vaes Dothrak. But you have to work to get between point A and point B, and the show has nothing like the final chapter of ADWD to help it along.
(30:31) Damn but I do love watching Pryce’s High Sparrow power play. Even if this part of the conversation was here mostly so Diana Rigg and Jonathan Pryce could have some dialogue together.
(31:03) Note how the High Sparrow has provoked Olenna into ever more vocal outrage, including tacitly accusing Cersei of having Loras arrested in a place where she could easily be overheard, without giving her any information more useful than the fact he has bum knees.
(32:11) Here’s another big honking sign that the Sparrows are right-wing culture warriors in a paper-thin disguise: the High Sparrow (who started as a well-off tradesman) has his own not-Bible. In this society without printing presses, the High Sparrow has a personal copy of a religious text, one that he is free to give away at will. As opposed to one the Sept has for his personal use. Furthermore, in this society without printing presses, how is it that religious argumentation is not a primarily oral tradition, based around sermons, but rather built around an appeal to the text?
Spoilers: it’s because the Sparrows are right-wing culture warriors in a paper-thin disguise and the showrunners did not give even the slightest thought to their depiction of religion.
(32:31) Renly and/or Loras is gay: 1. Yes! That’s right! Olenna has once again resorted to “comical” homophobic slurs! Is the show going to wrestle with this form of homophobia? Of course it isn’t.
(32:51) Ah, how the mighty have fallen. Now it’s Olenna who’s on the wrong side of the “only one smart person onscreen at a time” rule. If Olenna cuts off food to the capital, the High Sparrow is going to turn to his existing base, the people already inclined to believe him and who are already supporting him, and say, “it’s Olenna Tyrell’s fault you have nothing to eat. She is trying to buy and threaten her granddaughter and grandson out of facing the consequences for their crimes against the gods.” This is not the Tyrells vs Tyrion, where Tyrion had no popular support in King’s Landing and didn’t try to get any, either. This is the Tyrells vs a man whose power base is located in the city and arose from that urban population. He might not be able to get the smallfolk of the Reach to turn against the Tyrells, but he sure would be able to make King’s Landing an unfriendly place for them.
(33:14) “We are the many.” Enough to pack the Sept of Baelor and get blown up en masse without consequences, at least. Oh, and for all this vague rhetoric about class, the High Sparrow is not talking about aid and succour to the masses, he’s talking crime and punishment to the elites. Kinda different there. Different movement, different agenda. Weird stapling together of Marxism and some schools of conservative Protestantism.
(33:52) Tommen is so dependent on his abuser that he’s not eating now she’s imprisoned. What a healthy relationship!
(34:37) Actual good advice from Cersei here: “Don’t blame yourself for things out of your control, those things happen to everyone no matter who they are.”
(35:19) Tommen says he loves Margaery. I tend to think it’s more that she had sex with him when he was not mature enough for a sexual relationship and she subsequently manipulated him into emotional dependence on her, and now we see the toxic effects of that played out on screen. Consider me largely unmoved, at least in the way I was supposed to be moved.
(36:14) Likewise, when Cersei says she’ll do anything to keep Tommen from harm, while lying to him about her efforts to keep him away from a woman who has raped and manipulated him, I’m not exactly outraged. Sure, I’d prefer it if she was honest and tried to have a discussion with him about how Margaery carried out that manipulation, but her motivation (keep Tommen from being harmed by Margaery), her statements (“I will do anything”), and her actions (setting up a perjury trap for Margaery) all track. It’s hard for me to buy a story about Cersei as an overreaching, smothering paranoiac when all I can see is the show’s staunch refusal to admit that Cersei’s defending her son from a very real harm.
(36:27) “I would burn cities to the ground.” This is supposed to be setup for Cersei’s eventual blowing up of the Sept of Baelor. Saying is not doing. Thus far, Cersei’s only done her outright villainous acts when it’s concerned the interests of her children. When Ned was going to tell Robert about the incest back in season one, Cersei killed Robert (the show edited out her earlier assassination attempts, strengthening the argument that Cersei only goes for violence and corruption to defend her children from immediate threats) and arranged the coup; when she thought Tyrion was a threat to Tommen, she had Ros beaten to get leverage over Tyrion; when she thought Tyrion murdered Joffrey she rigged that trial to ensure he was found guilty; and now when Margaery is raping Tommen, she’s once again manipulated the legal system to have Margaery arrested (and Loras, very much unjustly). She hasn’t done anything close to burning cities to the ground. She’s not even killing people willy-nilly, where book!Cersei orders murders out of spite and on impulse as well as for politics. Show!Cersei has thus far been better at controlled, targeted violence than book!Cersei.
And before we get into comparisons with what I just said about Dany, saying “I am not a butcher” is a refusal of action in a way that saying “I would burn cities to the ground,” is not a positive action.
(37:28) Oh, Myrcella. “Why is [the plot to kidnap her] happening at all?” It’s a good question and one nobody’s yet heard a decent answer to.
(37:50) This matter has ceased to be complicated. Myrcella was almost abducted from Prince Doran’s own home by Prince Doran’s own relatives. Jaime’s got a pretty good excuse for withdrawing Myrcella from Sunspear now.
(37:59) Here we get to what is supposed to be the heart of Jaime’s plot this season: his connection with his biological daughter. This just makes me ask why, again.
I reckon it goes back to the mishandling of Cersei and Jaime’s relationship from the end of season three onwards, which in turn goes back to the showrunners’ preference for abrupt twists rather than gradual development. The book relationship between the two started breaking down the moment they were reunited, a process that in and of itself provides tension in their stories throughout the end of ASoS and through all of AFFC and their parts in ADWD. In the show, since the relationship isn’t going to break down until season seven, Jaime just kind of has to fill time. Sure, why not have a story about a deadbeat dad connecting with his daughter for the first time?
What’s that you say? The parents in this story are also siblings, in a political situation where if this is discovered it means they and their children will be killed? Uh…look, it’s heartwarming!
(39:28) Boobs: 1.
(40:23) Just making sure everyone’s seen the boobs. Let’s put them on screen again and again. We wouldn’t understand Tyene was beautiful and naked if we didn’t keep showing her boobs. At least they keep stopping before it gets to full frontal.
(40:37) So, in hindsight, we can say that this little incident here was meant to set up what eventually happens to Myrcella. And there was no other way the writers could possibly have done this but have Tyene strip and then torture Bronn. Nudity and violence. It’s empowering!
(42:19) Littlefinger looks into the ruins of his brothel, and I think he’s mourning it. Um, yeah, I’m sure we all feel real bad about this victim of the Sparrows.
(42:46) When Littlefinger talks about the sheer range of appetites he caters to, remember that even in the show, he’s admitted that he trafficks children (in a conversation with Varys) and offers sex workers to clients who he knows will kill them (2.02, 3.06). Like I said, we all feel real bad for the destruction of this institution.
(43:53) Cersei summoned Littlefinger to King’s Landing to ask if he was doing his job. That’s it. That’s all.
(44:13) Okay, so Littlefinger’s just offered Olenna knowledge of Cersei’s affair with Lancel. That’s what this whole scene was about. This is not the smartest storytelling the show has ever done. Way simpler just to write Lancel cracking with the guilt and confessing. No need to throw in the Tyrells attempting to blackmail Littlefinger, or Littlefinger setting up a meeting with Olenna primarily so she could threaten him. The scene’s just another excuse to get Diana Rigg in a scene.
(45:13) Another semi-random appearance of “Valar morghulis”/“Valar dohaeris.”
(45:35) This custom of the ruler of Meereen doing a tour of the lower pits in the days before the big fight is transparently narrative convenience. Yezzan said just then that the big reward for doing well in these practices is fighting before the queen on the big day. The writers wanted Dany and Tyrion to meet so badly. They did whatever it took to get them to meet on schedule.
(46:45) Deaths: 1.
(47:28) “I’ve sacrificed more than enough for your traditions.” Dany has made precisely two concessions all season - marrying Hizdahr and reopening the pits. She’s done difficult things, yes, such as insisting on the rule of law, but that’s the opposite of a concession. That was a change she wanted to make in Meereen’s governance. But we’re not meant to be questioning the veracity of this statement. That’s the substance of her ADWD plot and we’re still technically watching an adaptation. It’s just that it’s a bad adaptation, so we see almost no compromise from Dany and then she declares that she’s made a lot of compromises.
(47:37) More narrative convenience: armed and combat-capable Jorah was not chained up, but Tyrion was.
(47:48) Deaths: 2.
(48:05) In fact, Tyrion is the only slave chained up.
(48:52) Yet another narrative convenience: this gentleman here, who kindly strikes the chains off Tyrion.
(49:16) Dany here insists that her decrees be respected, like the one exiling Jorah. Seems like a reasonable thing for a queen to do. I got no sympathy for Jorah. He screwed Dany over, Dany told him to get the hell away from her, he’s ignoring that.
Unfortunately, this will all be undermined by the next episode and a great deal of season six.
(49:35) It’s nice that Tyrion’s got his self-confidence back after…actually, what happened to make Tyrion lose confidence in his own abilities? I thought Tyrion was doubting whether there was anything in the world worth living for.
(50:39) Okay, now that’s a nicely petty, spiteful, Cersei thing for Cersei to do, bring Margaery her literal leftovers.
(51:19) “Perhaps that’s why your son was so eager to cast you aside for me.” Even now, Margaery is gloating to Cersei about how she raped and manipulated Cersei’s son.
(51:52) Woman called bitch: 2. Another misread scene, I think. The idea of Cersei’s confrontation with Margaery in the cells, in AFFC at least, was Margaery cracking and not only making sure the reader knew she knew what had been going on, but also providing an accurate summary of the reasons Cersei was going to hate any woman Tommen married. Book!Margaery wins that confrontation, not because she calls Cersei a bitch, but because she calls Cersei on all the bullshit.
(54:22) The High Sparrow has super anachronistic views on architecture, with all this “simple is better” and “nice cathedrals are vanity.” It’s like someone’s projecting Puritan sensibilities onto him because they don’t know anything about religion in general…
(55:45) Basically, the High Sparrow is saying Lancel confessed of his own volition. There was no need for a scene with Olenna and Littlefinger; it just muddied the waters of an already confused plot.
(56:45) I like that Cersei and Margaery, as they’re being arrested, both shout “I am the queen!” That’s a better callback, especially with the context given to saying “I am the king!”
Game of Numbers S05E07
Deaths: 2.
Boobs: 1.
Abs & pecs: 5.
Consensual sex: 1.
Woman called “bitch”: 2.
Man called “bitch”: 0.
Renly and/or Loras is gay: 1.
59 notes · View notes
cuccofarmer · 7 years
Text
I’VE FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT.
The present differences between One Piece pre- and post-timeskip – A One Piece Essay.
With One Piece’s Dressrosa arc finally wrapping up last year, there has been a collective sigh of relief as the longest running story has ended. The complaints, from what I saw, stemmed from the fact that pacing was a dramatic issue during Dressrosa and its overall length led to a huge loss of interest. Personally, I loved Dressrosa’s story, but I wholeheartedly agree that it was a total struggle to stick out. This was the arc that broke me. I saw the light and switched to reading the manga which is a million miles better, by the way. Despite all the superiorities in the manga, it still suffered from a multitude of similar problems as the anime.
This drove me to try and find out why I still felt a whole inside my heart even while reading One Piece. I had to think long and hard, and dug through the internet to find a lot of other opinions on the matter. I came to the conclusion that, since the timeskip, the overall thematic feel for our favourite pirate anime/manga has just changed drastically. I know this isn’t anything new, quite the contrary and don’t get me wrong I love One Piece a lot and still find joy in following the story.  
Search your mind and think back. Can you remember the good ol’ days when five intrepid kids (yes kids) got on a dingy little ship with dreams and ambitions that they could only wish to achieve? Good, because for many that is what made them fall in love with One Piece. I remember when I started watching all I wanted was to be on that ship with them. It made you feel part of something, like you were really on deck with the crew as they made their way from East Blue to the dreaded and mysterious Grand Line. Even following that, the crusade through to Alabasta, trying to save their very own princess. The diabolical Sir Crocodile, with his hook made of gold and his fearsome sand abilities. Remember as the crew faced off with Baroque Works and found the reason for their fighting.
Oh boy, and even Skypeia. I hated Skypeia for a long time because it was hard to get through, but I can tell you the second time I watched it I found a lot of reasons why it was good. The intrigue, the exploration, the mystery behind the missing island, and by far the best part of that arc, the Almighty Eneru (or Enel for those who prefer). Man was he as good villain. You could argue he was horrible, but just think of his motivation. How evil and power-mad can one man get? All it took was Luffy’s perfect counter to put him in his place.
Then to my favourite ever story arc in all of One Piece. It is so hard to beat Water 7. It had so much good shit crammed into it. Even more surprising if you combine Water 7 and Enies Lobby together as the saga it comes close to the length of Dressrosa. So why is it so much better? For many damn good reasons. Remember when the crew lost Robin, only to find her supposed betrayal? Good Lord was that heartbreaking, even though you knew she would come back there was a tiny part of you that was still secretly worried. There was that deep-rooted connection to each crew member that you didn’t want tainted. For me the defining moment of this saga was when the Strawhat pirates stood at the gates of hell (or Justice if you like), and stared death in the face when they were toe to toe with Cipher Pol 9. Enemies who could swat them like flies and yet they found the strength to beat them against all the odds, even if it meant sacrificing their humanity. Goddamn motherfucking Sniper King. That’s all I have to say.
Thriller Bark had that stink of adventure all over, however slow it was, so you could put up with the crew being duped by an idiot, Moria’s god-awful laugh, and the cringiest moments of Perv-salom. There was a mystery to be solved and a treasure to be found. There was something lacking though. How come Zoro and Sanji were missing for so long? Surely our two favourite hot-heads weren’t captured by the enemy? Well they were, and for one good reason: they needed to make room for the rest of the crew. At this point in the story we had eight crew members with the ninth one being introduced. How much time can you devote to NINE main characters? Five is perfect, six is fine, seven is manageable, eight is pushing it, but nine? It’s one hard task to make sure nine dang Strawhats have the same amount of development.
Luckily the plot went elsewhere at this point, we saw the crew split up and the focus was all on our meat-loving captain. Ace in danger? We better get going! So we couldn’t dwell on the fact that suddenly we were seeing so much less of our favourite nakama even when the crew was all together.
Then you hit the timeskip. Finally our Strawhats are all back together again! This should be a cause for celebration. Except something wasn’t quite right. Who’s this fishman poser? Why is he just a copy/paste Arlong? Luffy’s super duper strong now! Can’t he just squash him? Why do I care about a goddamn goldfish lady? Shira-who? Show me more nakama adventure! Wait what? Sanji’s decommissioned? You’re telling me I waited all the way through Amazon Lily to Marineford and now my favourite goddamn cook is in a fucking coma? I say nay!
Do you remember when Zoro used to smile because he was happy, not because he was sadistically going to cut someone to ribbons? Do you remember when Nami’s character was something more than fan service? Do you remember when Usopp fought through all his fears to look his enemy in the eye and stand his ground? Now he’s just played for laughs. Do you remember when Sanji was suave and collected and not a quivering heap in front of every lady he met? Do you remember when Chopper could ACTUALLY FUCKING DO SOME DOCTORIN’. Now he’s just a squeaky merchandising ploy. Do you remember when Robin, my favourite Strawhat, would ACTUALLY FUCKING DO SOMETHING – LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. Do you remember when Franky didn’t completely look and act like an abomination? Me either, Franky never got that much screen time did he? And Brook, poor skeletal Brook, I hope you get some sort of development, man. It looks promising in Whole Cake Island, you might actually get some real badass action.
Above all, Monkey D. Luffy, when did you become such an idiot. Sure he was always a dolt, but now he just meanders through the story, punching anything in his way. The stakes aren’t as high anymore. Who knows what training the Dark King gave Luffy for two whole years? Hody Jones was a scrub. Caesar Clown was a scrub. Doflamingo was a Hannibal Lecter level badass mo-fo. I bet you he owns that Pulp Fiction wallet, but jfc a build up of close to 200 episodes? Like I said, I am trash for One Piece and the storytelling is still fucking prime. So I’ll keep going, especially since Whole Cake Island has given us a lot of promising material, maybe the first bit we’ve had in the New World.
Here endeth my essay on One Piece. Conclusion? We have become detached from our favourite characters. Through some fault in the story, a by-product of having to fit so much in each segment, we have lost a lot of what made us fall in love with it in the first place. We used to be so lucky we had heroes who we could identify with, who we could journey with. Nowadays we have these super-cool, super-badass pirates, but they’re untouchable. I just wish we had some semblance of the good ol’ days. Maybe I’m just being spoilt.
Also the animation is shit now.
Peace out, I love y’all. TLDR: Pre-Timeskip was better because the characters had more development and were more relatable whereas now they are super-powered infallibles.
��z�c�
0 notes