#don’t ask me where this came from bc i couldn’t fuckin tell ya

[buckymorelikefuckme]

headcanon: 6

“I loathe you,” you hiss through clenched teeth.

Bucky laughs humorlessly. “Is that supposed to hurt my feelings?” He clutches his chest, pouting in faux pain. “That cuts me real deep, sweetheart.”

You sneer. “I bet it fucking does. You want me so bad you can’t stand it.”

That makes genuine anger flash in his eyes. Satisfaction hums through your veins, because you know you’re right, and he knows you’re right.

“One day I just might get over that,” he finally replies, and you blink in confusion at his easy admission. “But you?” he continues, closing the distance between you until you can feel the warmth of his solid body.

You hate the way you have to crane your neck up to look him in the eye, and you know he’s done that on purpose.

“You will never forget me. I’ll be on your mind until the day you die, and even beyond that, I’ll make it my mission to make your afterlife a living hell with the memory of what you could have had, but were too stubborn to take. Because you’re a fucking coward.”

[shigarakislittlepet]

im so happy to find a blog with good nsfw content for literally all my faves lol we share the same braincell it seems! how about fluffy nsfw headcanons for Dabi, Shigi, Aizawa and Shinsou and well, Baku but I don't want to overwhelm you even if you don't have a character limit hhh, with a s/o that was completely inexperienced in sex before they got together? They grew more comfortable with the idea of sex over time as they used to be really shy about it but they're scared they'll mess up and disappoint their loves? If possible could you mention what kind of approach each boy would have for the first time with their virgin s/o? I'm just feeling some fluffy dick tonite ya know lol stay safe out there <3

Ohhhh my gosh, this whole thing gave me brain rot lmao, thank you for giving me this power <3<3<3

This also took me literal months to finish because life got crazy, so I’m sorry about that. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

TW: loss of virginity, gentelness, fluffy smut, unprotected sex bc I’m a whore (Y/N is on birth control), and as always all characters are adults especially Y/N

-Dabi-

> You are surprised by how patient he is with you. You were sure he’d have gotten tired of waiting, but he didn’t push. He didn’t make you feel badly about it, and the last thing he would ever want to do to sweet little innocent angel is coerce them into something they weren’t ready for. So, he waits.

> It happened so gradually. Over time, light kissing became making out. After a few months, you got more comfortable and it didn’t feel at all odd to fall into bed with him, cuddling and “swapping spit” as he called it, which always made you giggle like a schoolgirl at his crudeness. His hands would test the waters, but he was always feeling for nervous tremors and flinching, never wanting to go further than you were comfortable. At first, he only rested a hand on you lower back, drawing lazy circles into your waist, his other cradling your face gently, reassuringly. Eventually he could get his hand beneath your shirt, still just at your lower back, but he was content with his progress. Your skin was soft and you said he felt warm, and that was the first time he ever thought of his quirk as “sweet, comforting”, as you described the warmth from his hands.

> After a few months went by, he had progressed to the point of being able to freely roam your body with his hands, the warmth helping you stay calm and anchored to him.

> What continued to surprise you is how easy it felt, once you were ready. You didn’t even see it coming. He asked you, so gently, if he could take your shirt off. You told him he could as long as he promised to keep you warm. He went along slowly, constantly reassuring you, “God Angel, you’re so beautiful. I gotta see more of you, can I? Please?”, “You’re so soft, I need to feel more of your skin, angel, please?” You didn’t even hesitate, you didn’t need to. You felt safer with him than you ever had in your life.

> You realized, once you were both naked together, just how comfortable you were with him. And suddenly you felt like you needed to give him everything he ever wanted, and you knew he would do the same for you.

> It happens so slowly, or at least, it feels like it does. His hand slowly grazes down between your bodies until he reaches your core. You gasp, no one but you had ever touched you there, and it feels so foreign and wonderful. And warm. Once you begin bucking onto his fingers, an insatiable grin stretches across his face. He retracts his fingers, bringing them to his lips, and you watch as he sucks them clean. He calls you delicious and rolls on top of you, asks you if you’re ready for him. For the first time, you look down between your bodies and see just how huge and hard he is for you. When he sees your concern he kisses your forehead, then your lips. “I won’t hurt you Angel, I promise.” You nod and smile, and he starts easing into you, stopping every so often when he can tell the stretch is too much. He kisses your cheeks, your shoulders, your lips, whatever he can get his mouth on as he pants and mumbles little praises. “I love you”, “You’re doin’ so well”, “You’re takin’ me sooo well”, “God, you’re so beautiful, you know how beautiful you are Angel?”, “Ahh, you’re so fuckin’ tight and wet for me Angel, you want me that badly?”. The praises and teases help you considerably to keep you relaxed, and fuck, you DO want him. So fucking badly, you need him. When he’s finally seated inside you fully, he waits, clearly using every last bit of his restraint and self control to give you time to adjust. When you finally whine and buck your hips up on him, he loses it. “I hope you’re fuckin’ ready, Angel.”

>You find rather quickly that Dabi’s style is a beautiful mix of “fucking” and “making love”. He fucks you, hard and deep, so much so that it makes you see stars, but while he does it he’s caging you in-between his arms, holding you close while he pistons in and out of you. He looks you in the eyes, watching your reactions, quickly finding what angle makes you convulse and let out those beautiful moans and coos that he’s now desperate to hear.

>When he nears his end, he reaches down between you again to rub sweet circles against your clit, because no way is Dabi cumming first. It’s just not his style.

-Shigaraki-

>BRAIN ROT

> Shigaraki is definitely happy that you’re inexperienced, he’d kill anyone who had ever laid a hand on you before him. You belonged to him.

> It also means that you’re a virgin, which really gets him going because hes a pervert. ((He’s also secretly glad that he’s not the only virgin))

> He is touch starvvveeeeddddddd. We all know this. But at first, he’s so hesitant to touch you, for fear of destroying you.

> You are patient with each other, and together you find out what works and what doesn’t. He got some artist gloves so he could hold your fucking hand without hyperventilating about dusting you. He’s still afraid of you disappearing beneath his fingertips.

> You were never, not even for a second, worried that he would hurt you. You knew that he could, that he had the ability, but you knew that he wouldn’t.

> He wasn’t so sure, he was afraid of rolling over in the night and finding a pile of dust where you used to be. He wakes up from nightmares about it and has to wake you up to hold you while he shakes uncontrollably. He just has to know you’re alive.

> You both get more and more comfortable with physical proximity and contact together, because you both wanted it, you were both just so worried about fucking everything up.

> When the time came where both of you decided you were ready to have sex, you admitted to him that you were afraid of not measuring up to his expectations. All these “what if’s” kept popping up in your mind: “what if he doesn’t find my body attractive enough”, “what if I don’t know how to move right”, “what if I cant please him”, etc. etc. etc.

> He just looks at you kind of taken aback and confused. He was worried about you not being able to see him as sexually attractive because of how he looked, he was just as self-conscious as you. “Darling, you’re the most perfect person in existence, how can you not see that? Look at me! I’m... I... Look like this! How could I ever hope that someone as beautiful as you could ever see me that way?”

>You didn’t immediately know how to respond. You were... heartbroken that he saw himself that way. You couldn’t image him being self-conscious about anything because in your eyes, he was a god. He was perfect and angelic and you told him as much. You looked at him with such adorably big eyes and your voice was full of so much honesty and adoration, he had to have you immediately. He’d never felt desired, he had never felt lovable. He always thought it would be a miracle if anyone would ever be able to even stomach looking at him without cringing away in disgust. But you were so perfect and you loved him so immediately and so much that it knocked him out. He launches himself at you and just kisses you for a while.

> You both fumbled around a bit at first, trying to find what felt best. You both quickly came to the conclusion that you were going to have to practice together. A lot. As much as possible actually, because even in your inexperience, you both felt more amazing than you ever had in your lives. When you were connected like this, panting, kissing, licking, trying your damndest to become one being, it felt like bliss. You never wanted it to stop.

-Aizawa-

> MORE FUCKING BRAIN ROT

> Aizawa has an innocence kink. There I fucking said it.

> When it comes to the person he’s with, he’s a shameless flirt, and while he would NEVER cross a line or pressure you, he definitely does his best to get you in the mood whenever he can, much to your naïve frustration.

> At first you genuinely don’t even realize he’s doing it on purpose. The heated looks he gave you that made your knees weak? You didn’t think he was doing that on purpose, it’s just because he’s... tired? And he always looks so gorgeous, so that’s why. He ALWAYS makes your knees weak. Yeah that’s all it is, obviously.

> And when he comes up behind you, hands on your hips gently, and lowly rumbling in your ear. Sometimes it’s just comments about whatever you’re doing, which was bad enough. But sometimes it was mumbled compliments. About your outfit, how good it made your ass look. About how soft your hair was, how good you smelled, the softness of your skin while he gently rubbed his stubble against your neck.

>YOU COULDN’T FUCKING HANDLE IT.

> He was so soft most of the time, cuddling you while watching movies, cooking together, dancing in the kitchen with you at 3 in the morning after he finished grading papers. The shift that happened when he would get flirtatious was dizzying.

> You were nervous though, Aizawa was a bit older than you, and obviously way more experienced that you. One night while you were curled up in bed together, you told him you were nervous about disappointing him when the time finally came. He sat up and turned a light on immediately and pulled you into his lap. He held you and stroked your hair and told you how much you meant to him, how you could never disappoint him, how much he wanted you, and how he was willing to wait however long you needed. He held you until he was sure you felt better about it, and then he held you until he was sure you were asleep. You were the most important person in the world to him, and he wasn’t gonna let you think anything was ever gonna change that.

> When you finally got tired of his teasing and felt like you were ready, you decided to get him back. Before he got home, you put on one of his long shirts as a dress and started getting dinner ready.

> When he walked through the door and saw that you were wearing nothing but one of his black button ups, he had to maintain every ounce of his self control to contain the rush of feral need that suddenly consumed him. Now it was HIS turn to assume you were being innocent. And man did you play it up. “What’s wrong Shota? Are you feeling okay?” And you bat your big beautiful eyes at him. He was going to have a stroke.

> It wasn’t until you bent over and he noticed you weren’t wearing anything under his shirt that he realized it was an invitation. He came up behind you, caging you in against the counter, and growled lowly in your ear, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?” He gently pushed his growing erection against your ass, making you gasp. Score.

> “W-what do you mean?” you looked up at him as innocently as you could. He took your hand and pressed it to the front of his pants. He groaned low in his chest, thankful for any friction. “Don’t play dumb with me, kitten. You know exactly what you’re doing. I think you should take responsibility.” You grinned.

> “Yes Sir,” he jolts at that, and you sink your knees and get to work undoing the fastenings on his hero costume. When his cock springs free, you eagerly give it kitten licks until he’s had enough. He grips you by your hair and gently guides your mouth down onto his cock. He’s big, bigger than you can take, but that doesn’t stop Aizawa from purposefully making you gag on him every so often. He really does get off on how innocent you are, the tears that hang in your eyes from gagging on his cock. He’s gonna cum soon if he’s not careful.

> After he’s had his fun making you suck him off, he pulls you up and carries you off to bed. No way he’s taking your virginity on the floor, he’s too much of a gentleman. And dinner, what dinner? Thank god nothing happened to be on the stove or in the oven.

> He sets you down in bed and kisses you, takes his shirt off of you and finishes ridding himself of his hero costume. He takes pride in getting you ready for him, relishing in your sweet noises and how wet you are for him. A fact that he teases you about. “S-Shotaaa~” you moan and clench down on his fingers. He smirks, “What happened to ‘Sir’, hmm? I liked that, you know...” All you can do is whine up at him in response.

> When you feel like you’re close to cumming, you whine louder and clench down harder and before you can reach your peak, he stops. You whine in frustration before he leans down and rumbles, “Oh no, kitten, the only way you’re cumming is if you cum on my cock.” You gasp and nearly convulse at his filthy words, but you’ve never felt like you needed him more.

> He fucks you gently, at first anyway. For as long as he can. He rolls his hips into you and angles his thrusts expertly, aiming for that spot inside you that’ll make your head spin. And he hits it. Every time. And your head DOES spin. And soon you can feel the pressure build again and you start whining again, “Sh-Shouta, please! I’m s-oh! So close!” He smiles, and decides to take pity on you. He pistons harder, faster, brings a hand to your core to rub circles against your clit and when you cum, you scream his name and he can’t take it anymore. He slams into you, chasing his own high and simultaneously extends yours. You’re seeing stars by the time he cums deep into you. He rolls over, bringing you with him. You lie on top of him and he strokes your hair, and you just hold each other for a while.

-Shinso-

> I wanna say this now, Shinso is Aizawa Jr. I’m so sorry, but its true. They’re both tired, overworked, cat lovers that just wanna come home and cuddle and pass out.

> He knows he’s your first boyfriend. You met at UA and pretty much bonded immediately. Now that you’re both pro-heros working for the same agency? It was only a matter of time before he made a move. And thank whatever higher power exists that you have the same schedule. More time for cuddles.

> HOWEVER! Don’t let the fact that he’s a cuddle-bug fool you. He frequently has to remember that you’re a virgin and you’ve never been in a relationship before, so you have no idea how much he’s affected by you answering your door on a Saturday morning you both had off wearing one of his hoodies that absolutely swallows you. Looking up at him smiling and yawning sleepily, rubbing one of your eyes and groggily asking, “What are you doing here so early? I thought we weren’t going out till tonight?”. He has to breathe deeply to stop himself from jumping you.

> Because much like Aizawa, seeing you so sleepy and soft and small and knowing how innocent and naive you are to all of the things you do that make him need you... is going to make him lose his mind. Quickly.

> Instead of an innocence kink though, this motherfucker has a corruption and a mind break kink. He wants to make it impossible for you to feel pleasure without him, he wants to make you need him desperately, forever. And he wants to do it without the help of his quirk. But that would all come in time, at the moment he has to stop himself from cumming in his pants because you’re bending over on your way to your room so you can change, stooping to pet your cat and his hoodie rode up your ass and he can see your lacy black panties and you were GOING to drive him insane long before he ever got the chance to make you his, he was sure.

> He had brought you coffee and suggested you just stay in all day since you both had such a late night. Watching movies and stuff. You know, normal stuff. He told himself he wasn’t going to try and make a move. Right? Right.

> But when you emerged from your room 45 minutes later, showered and changed, your hair still damp and a droplet of water drifting down your neck and landing in the dip of your collar bones, all he could think of was licking it up. How good your hair must smell, how your skin was still probably warm form the water... He was staring, and you pretended not to notice.

> You were nervous about not measuring up to his expectations. You’d seen the women he usually went out with, and how comfortable they were with their bodies and their sexuality. How beautiful they were. As far as you were concerned, you were nothing like them.

> He could see the gears turning in your head and the downturn of your mouth, and he asked you what was wrong. He motioned for you to come sit with him, and it wasn’t five seconds before he pulled you into his lap. After some coaxing, you let him know what you were worried about. He assured you that the reason he was so happy with you is because you weren’t anything like the women he had dated before. Because, not only were you far more beautiful than they were, they had also been conceited and cold, only dating him because he was an up and coming pro-hero that could get them into events so they could dump him for the first bigger hero they’d meet. He liked that you were soft and warm and he could trust you, that you had always trusted him, even despite his quirk.

> You talked for awhile, and as the morning sun drifted higher into the sky, you decided it was time to door dash some food. While he ordered it, you excused yourself the restroom. You needed to think. The heaviness of the conversation still weighed on you, and you’d never felt closer to him than you did now. It was time, you were sure. You wanted to give him everything he’d been waiting so patiently for, he deserved it. And so did you damnit, no more of this scaredy-cat bullshit! You gave yourself your best war face in the mirror before you exited the bathroom and going back to the living room where Shinsou was reclined on your couch. Head tilted back, resting on the pillow behind him.

> He was so beautiful. Lavender hair a wild mess, eyes closed and lashes fluttering softly. You wanted to kiss his neck suddenly, and unlike when urges like this usually happened, you didn’t shove the thought away. You quickly straddled him and, before he had the chance to question you, you began kissing up and down his neck softly. “K-kitty...” he groaned beneath you, gripping your waist, his hips jerking up against yours.

> After a while of your explorative kissing, he growled impatiently and flipped you over easily, pressing you into the couch. He kissed you like he might die if he didn’t, deep and slow and desperate. When he finally broke for air and looked at you, he felt his heart and his dick jump. Your flushed face and your eyes that were looking up at him through your eyelashes heavily, your mouth hanging open gasping and your kiss bitten lips, your brows softly cinched at the effort it took for you to remember you needed to breathe.

> He asks you if you’re sure you were ready, and when you nod dazedly up at him he doesn’t need any more convincing.

> He takes his time, he’s slow and methodical. He wants your first time to be an enjoyable experience. Something you can look back on fondly and remember how much he loved you, how good it felt, how comfortable you were. He wanted it to be better than his first time, drunk after a hero convention, with some woman who didn’t remember his name in the morning and never called him back. He pushed the thought away. He focused on you, on how perfect you were.

> When he finally thrusts into you, you think you want to feel like this forever. You tell him so, and beams with pride, pushing your pleasure further. Kissing your neck and praising you. Telling you how perfect you are, telling you all the things you do that drive him crazy, telling you that he’s never going to let you go, that you’re his forever and he’s yours.

> You cum together, and you think that everything in the world must have always been this beautiful. You spend the rest of the day cuddling, eating, and making love.

-Bakugo-

> No thoughts in this mans head. None. At least when it comes to romance. When you first start dating, you had to make the first move cause his oblivious ass just thought you were challenging him. You had to explain to him that what you were actually doing was called “flirting”.

> So when it comes to your first time, you know you’re gonna have to make the first move there too. He fears rejection, so he avoids the things he really wants the most. Which in this case is you whining on his dick.

> But he also knows you’re a virgin and he doesn’t wanna scare you, so he leaves it be. Trusting his fist to get the job done when he really needs to let off some steam. Either by punching shit or jerking off.

> One day, you do catch him jerking off, and you immediately start to (stupidly) think that you’re not enough for him, that he might leave you for someone who can give him what he needs. You don’t think he notices you having a mini panic attack in the hallway so you sneak back to the kitchen to catch your breath and think. Why HAD you waited this long? What were you waiting FOR? You guessed you had just been worried about not knowing what to do, about him getting impatient and annoyed with you for your lack of experience.

> Making your final decision, you square your shoulders and march yourself back to your shared room. You confidently open the door to find him ... waiting for you?

> “Tch, took you long enough. You done freakin’ out now?” He grumbles from his spot on the bed. You nod meekly and he opens his arms for you, an invitation you gratefully accept. He pets your head and continues grumbling, “ just as bad as shitty-hair, nobody ever knocks anymore. You shouldn’t be surprised when you just try to walk in like that...”

> He keeps petting your head until eventually you hit him with it. “‘Tsuki, I wanna... uhm...” you look up at him with pleading eyes hoping his quirk somehow suddenly allows him to read your mind.

> It doesn’t. “ You wanna what? C’mon, spit it out.” No thoughts, remember?

> You huff and blush and finally squeak out, “Wanna make you feel good, ‘Tsuki...”

> His brain stops working momentarily. When he catches back up, he smirks. “Seriously? It just took you gettin’ jealous over my left hand for you to be ready?”, he teased. You stick out your tongue and he grabs your jaw, looks you dead in the eyes when he says, “I have something much more important for that cute little mouth to do.”

> Your eyes go wide at his suggestion, even though it really doesn’t surprise you. When Katsuki wants something he wants to go all out, no half-assing it. You nod nervously and he laughs at your apprehension, allowing you to shift down his body until you were face to face with his fly. You undid the button and zipper with shaky hands, and gently guide his dick out of his jeans.

> Beautiful is the first word to come to your mind. Beautiful and massive, just like the rest of him. He was easily over six feet tall, and built too so it really shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did. For a moment all you can do is look up at him from your place below him, your big strong hero. You melt a little and you notice him smirking down at you again, “What ‘ya lookin’ at, princess?”. He gently strokes your cheek while you admire him, “You.” you reply dazedly. His smirk widens to a bear malicious grin, “Me? How come?”. A feeling you’re not totally familiar with, but you’re pretty sure is called submission, fills you suddenly and you feel warm and content. “You’re perfect,” you bat your eyelashes and bite your lip as you gently start to stroke your hand up and down his length.

>He controls his breathing, because he really can’t handle you looking so cute with his cock that close to your pretty little face. “‘Tch, and? What’s got you so worked up about it?” You giggle and nuzzle your face into the base of his cock and look up at him innocently. “I’m just glad I’m yours,” you smile and lick him from base to tip before gently taking him into your mouth. You’d read enough smut online to at least have some idea how to do this.

> He almost cums when you say that you’re glad to be his. His, he grins. He doesn’t get to think about that for too long though because your warm, wet tongue is sliding up his shaft and then your pretty little mouth engulfs him and he thinks he might hyperventilate if you keep looking up at him like that. He’d almost say it wasn’t fair, but then you start moving and he thinks that he could actually die happily from the warm bliss that fills him while he watches you try to take more and more of him down your throat.

> This is much more fun than you thought it would be, especially because Katsuki keeps letting out those little sighs and groans, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. You hollow out your cheeks and suck a bit harder before taking a deep breath and relaxing your throat as much as possible. You lower yourself down as far as you can, pushing past the ring of muscle in the back of your throat before moving down further. You feel him lay his hand gently, encouragingly, on the back of your head. You’re surprised when you find your nose nestled in the light blonde fuzz at the base of him and you stick your tongue out to lap at the underside.

> He jolts when you begin your descent. You’re not really gonna try to deep-throat him, are you? He watches you, mesmerized. No ones ever even tried, always saying he was way too big. It felt way too good. He laid a hand on the back of your head to ground himself, quickly realizing he had to control himself so that he didn’t clench his fist in your hair or shove you down all the way and hold you there. When you reached your goal, he sighed. Your throat felt perfect wrapped around him, just like he knew it would. When he felt your tongue sneak out of your mouth and lick, he thanked whatever creator there was that your tongue was long enough to reach his anchor. when you start to move your head up and down, he can only take it for so long before he’s thrusting up into your mouth. When you gag on him, that’s it, he has to pull you off him before he grips your head and suffocates you on his cock.

> He’s nearly at the point of begging, but thankfully, mercifully, you seem to get the idea. You wipe your mouth and lie back on the bed, giggling at his abruptness and he growls in response. He kisses you, and praises you, telling you how good you are, how much he needs to be inside you as he undresses you. You’re surprised at how automatically your legs open for him, and you tell him how much you need him inside of you as well. You feel so empty all of a sudden. Until one of his thick fingers finds your molten core and gathers some of your slick before sinking into you and you gasp.

> He continues to kiss and praise you as he works you with his fingers. You whine and moan and beg, it’s like music to his ears. When he thinks you’re ready, he lines himself up with your entrance, sliding up and down, grinding against your clit briefly before continuing. “I wanna hear you beg for it, princess.” and fuck, did you beg. A beautiful litany of filthy fucking words fell from your mouth, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He sinks into you fully in one thrust, gripping your open legs for stability.

> At first you can’t speak, you can’t make any noise at all. You feel so unbelievably full, and you look up at him and his eyes are clenched shut and his jaw is set. He’s holding himself back. He’s trying to be gentle with you because it’s your first time. He really is very sweet when he wants to be. You raise a shaky hand to his face and he leans into it. He met your eyes and you watch as his control falters when he sees you bent in half like this. You smile, “Katsuki, please”, is all you can say. It seems to open the flood gates. For all his self control, he pounds into you mercilessly and it fills you with the most intense feeling of ecstasy. “F-fuck ‘Tsuki, you feel s-so fucking good,” you moan and gasp brokenly.

> He cums hard. Grunting, growling, and near snarling the whole way through. You’re seeing stars, even though you haven’t cum. It had felt so fucking amazing, and you’re more than content with that. Katsuki is definitely not however, and is intent on eating you out until you beg for mercy. He always takes such good care of you.

[navegandoaciegas]

You think Lee would seize the chance when his wife's niece (not his side of the family) comes to visit? He's never met her, since the family moved out of knockemstiff many years ago. I mean, that beautiful, 21-year-old would look magnificent coming around his fat cock right? It's all he can think about, especially since his wife won't touch him anymore. And that perfect young thing is right under his roof.

changed it to friend’s daughter bc i checked and what you asked for is incest by marriage (at least in my country)

Married men do it better

Summary: You heard from your roommate that no one does it better than married men in their 40s, and you decide to test out her theories on your dad’s best friend (smut, explicit language, typos probably)

You looked like shit under the bright mirror lights of the bathroom, drenched in sweat and sleep deprived. The faucet twisted with a squeak, and you relished in the cold water that soothed your burning cheeks, neck and chest.

The night was restless, like most were when you spent them someplace other than your home or your dorm. You’d tossed and turned for hours in the single bed that the Bodeckers have provided you with, in the room that had been designed to be their child’s but had stayed barren. Then you’d gotten up, and tiptoed to the bathroom, careful not to wake Mrs Bodecker next door or your parents in the guest room downstairs.

You splashed more water on you, sighing in satisfaction. Blindly grabbing a towel on the rack next to you, you patted your face dry, standing straight.

And when you opened your eyes, another pair looked back at you in the mirror.

You jumped in suprise, but the scream that threatened to rip out of your throat was silenced by his rough hand clamping shut your mouth. You still bumped against the sink, rattiling the products on it, but luckily none of them fell to the linoleum floor.

Lee Bodecker stood behind you, so close that for a brief moment you wondered how you hadn’t sensed his presence before.

You knew he’d come look for you, for your sweet words and warm body, like he had all nights since you’d stayed at his place. You’d felt bold, that first night, and palmed his cock through his work uniform while your parents and his wife chatted in the kitchen.

It was easy, riling up a man who hadn’t been touched by his wife in years and hadn’t felt affection or sweet nothings whispered in his ears in even longer. And to be honest, he hadn’t put up much of a fight, too enamored with you, a young, sweet thing, all doe eyed and pouty lips.

You’d heard from your roommate that no one did it better than married men in their forties.

Those frat boys you both fooled around with didn’t even come close, and she’d slept with an older gentleman already, and you couldn’t let her be too smug about the fact that you hadn’t.

You’d have to try it too, and tell her all about it when you’d go back to Denver in August.

Until August, though, you’d let Lee Bodecker have his way with you all night, every night.

“Hush, baby girl,” he chuckled in your ear, eyes boring in yours through the mirror, “don’t wanna go wakin’ daddy dearest, hm? He’d kill us both.”

You shook your head, and giggled in his hand, pressing yourself flush against his chest. His belly was soft and pliant on your back, and underneath it you could feel his thick cock, already hard for you.

He groaned, and tightened the grip on your sides. “Already so eager, you little minx.”

“Always eager for you, Sheriff,” you said in the most sensual voice you could muster.

He didn’t look like the boys on the Varsity team, with his chubby cheeks and double chin, but it didn’t matter to you. You liked men in all shapes and forms but something about Lee’s body made your pussy throb, and your thighs clench.

“Good girl,” he mumbled in your hair, nuzzling his face right behind your ear, “Do you want me, hm? You all hot and bothered thinking about my cock all night? Thinkin’bout how I make your pussy cry for me?”

A whimper almost escaped your lips, and you clenched your thighs, memories of all the things he’d done to you flooding your mind. He’d fucked you harsh, and then soft, and then he’s stuck a thumb in your ass, a place where you’d never though about sticking anything in, and then shoved his cock all up your tight rim.

It hadn’t hurt, surprisingly. Much less than losing your virginity with a dumb teen boy underneath the school’s bleachers.

He’d eaten you out like a starved man, had had you ride his face, and then he’d stuck his cock so far down your throat that you’d almost passed out.

You were a wrecked, sobbing, sticky mess after each encounter.

“Please Sheriff, need you inside me, need your big fuckin’ cock in my cunt.”

He smirked, one hand traveling up to your breast, the other roaming down your thigh. “You got a mouth on you, darl’. Dirty little mouth on a dirty little slut like you,” he hummed, smiling against your skin.

His hands were rough and calloused, and they left shivers behind as they grazed you with gentle touches you wouldn’t expect from a man so big and harsh.

He touched you like you were made of the finest china, and sometimes when your mind wasn’t clouded by lust, you felt sorry for him. You pitied him, all alone in a cold house with a distant wife that you suspected was seeing other men behind his back and that made him sleep on the couch most nights.

You closed your eyes, shoving your bleeding heart in a corner of your mind, focusing on how good his hands felt as the pinched your nipples, how pleasant his lips were on your pulse point.

He bunched your drenched nightgown at your waist, growling when he noticed you weren’t wearing any undergarments. He dipped his fingers in your glistening folds, finding you soaked, leaking for him.

“Always so wet for me, princess, all for me?” he whimpered, rubbing his aching cock on your ass, eyes squeezed shut.

“Only for you, Lee,” you whined, hips rolling against his lenght, desperate to feel him inside you, to have him fill you up with his fat cock.

He played with your clit, rubbing circles on it while he crouched around you and sucked one of your nipples in his mouth. You stared at the scene in the mirror, your body twisted around his, your tits spilling out of your nightgown, the golden band around his fourth finger gleaming in the light.

Your pussy clenched hard around nothing.

“Fuck,” you moaned, bucking your hips behind you to rub the flesh of your ass against his raging hard on, “I can’t wait Lee, I need ya inside me, now.”

Lee chuckled, shoving his pyjamas pants down his thighs, his big, leaking cock standing to attention.

“Won’t even lemme taste you, darl’? That eager, hm?”

“Please,” you whined, spreading your legs apart to give him better access.

He teased you, rubbing his tip through your folds, coating it in your arousal. He slowly pushed himself past your entrance, stretching you with his girth, sheathing himself inside you with a broken moan.

He stilled, giving you time to adjust as you panted and winced.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ big, I’ll never get used to this,” you breathed, slowly circling your hips.

His cock hit all the right spots inside you, sending jolts of electricity down your spine. You felt the pressure build slow but steady in your cunt, as he slowly dragged his cock in and out of your cunt, relishing in the way your walls gripped him.

He clamped a hand over your mouth, shutting your moans up, and kept hammering his hips against your ass, the slapping of the soft flesh of his belly against your back the only sounds in the room.

He hauled one of your legs over his forearm, spreading you even further for him. He hit a new angle, a new nerve that threatened to break the dam in you core.

He thrusted deep inside you, and you watched from the mirror the slow drag of his cock disappearing in and out of your swollen cunt.

He was sweaty and out of breath and judging from the pained look on his face was trying hard to will back his pleasure and his moans.

One wrong move, one loud sound, and you’d wake someone in the house, who’d come check on you. If they did, they’d Lee pounding into you and you enjoying it like the cockdrunk whore you were.

That’s what he liked to remind you, and you nodded, lost in pleasure, feeling the warmth and pressure in your cunt become unbearable.

“Fuck, I can feel you clamp down on me, princess. Wanna feel you cum baby, come all over my fuckin’ cock, I know you can do it.”

He doubled his efforts, rubbing your clit and pummelling inside you.

The thought that your parents could catch you made you dizzy, but the idea of his wife walking in on you pushed you over the edge.

You were glad for the hand on your mouth as you came, screams muffled. You gushed over the sink, and you both watched through lidded eyes the pressure in your cunt snap, knot unraveling, his cock slipping out of you with your release, just in time for him to paint your legs and the floor with his hot spurt.

You were both spent and satisfied, and you turned around, lazily throwing your arms aroud his neck. The kiss you shared was sweet and sated.

He tasted like lemon drops on your tongue.

You pulled back, adjusting the nightgown over your tits.

“My roommate was right,” you hummed, pecking his lips and brushing past him.

“About?” he questioned, brow quirking.

“Married men really do it better..”

He turned around to say something, anything really, but you were gone already, leaving behind the sweet scent of you hair and an enraptured Lee.

-

Sorry for the typos. I’m writing from my phone.

I hope you liked this. Please reblog and leave some feedback. I love reading your comments, and they’re my biggest motivation ⭐️❤️

[moeruhoshi]

Just had a thought while working on the previous NaLu week Day 3 one-shot that I started and totally meant to finish

And then I ended up changing the entire thing pfft bc this seemed soooo much cuter

———

Natsu wasn’t an entire believer in the notion of love at first sight. Attraction, sure, but love was just so much more complicated.

It couldn’t have been captured in a phrase or an idea, as everyone loved who they loved in their own way. He didn’t even know how he would fall in love with someone.

Maybe it would be how the way they laughed, the way they smiled and smelled, or the way they were so gosh darn irresistible to pay attention to. 

But to experience that rush of excitement with just one look, well, Natsu thought that was beyond him. Or so he thought.

It wasn’t like he doubted the concept, just that he didn’t think it was the way he’d fall for someone. Character was much more important than looks in his mind, so he wasn’t scoping for the hottest piece of ass on the streets. Loke would beg to differ when concerning this subject. 

But when he saw her, just one look was enough to take his breath away. 

They had crossed paths in the park while Natsu was out walking Happy. No leash, of course, since the cat wasn’t the type to go too far away. They were walking and talking like usual, discussing what kind of fish they were going to get on their way home.

It was five seconds, maybe six. He turned a corner and their eyes locked, the scent of her soap wafting under his nose as the breeze tousled her hair. 

He felt his heart thump, his stomach squeeze with an odd feeling, and the want to look back at her pounded in his head. 

Natsu couldn’t help himself. And it only proved to make him blush even more when she turned her head to look back at him too. 

He was too embarrassed to stop and go back, leaving with the clear image of her own blush and half smile she offered him. 

That was a devastating mistake. He couldn’t understand the absolute yearn he felt to see her again; he didn’t even know her for goodness sake.

The whole way home and the lonely night afterwards, he couldn’t get a wink of sleep. He wanted to know her name, he wanted to make her smile again. And gosh, did he want to know what kind of soap she used. 

Natsu wasn’t accustomed to this desperate feeling in his heart, he actually disliked the desperation that clawed at him. He was unlike himself and felt a bit lost since he couldn’t concentrate. 

He was frustrated, restoring to the advice of his best friend, Juvia. She was the only one he knew who truly believed in love at first sight, ever since she met Gray when they were kids. 

The bluenette was ecstatic to tell Natsu not to doubt what he felt, to just go along with the influence of his heart. Some things didn’t need to make sense right away, especially when they were related to love. 

He was uncomfortable with the idea she suggested, to go back to the park tomorrow in hopes of. seeing her again. Well, he was going to go, since he and Happy always took their morning walk in that park. But to go there with the ulterior motive to potentially follow a stranger around...

The blue cat was oblivious to Natsu’s wandering eyes the next day, his gaze pointed towards the scattered flower petals that resided in small patches on the ground. 

The pink-haired boy felt his lips twist and a huff of air pushed through his nose like a puff of smoke. 

“Fuckin’...ugh...” He didn’t like how squirmy he felt, or the impatience that refused to quell within him.

 “Maybe we should go home a bit ear––” Natsu began to say as he turned to look down at his faithful companion, rolling his eyes with a light laugh as Happy was jumping around in the flower petals.

“Alright, buddy, just a bit longer then,” He sighed with a smile, not noticing the little white dog running at full speed towards him.

“Plue, Plue! Would you––Would you please stop running?!” Natsu flinched as he felt something soft and hard run into his ankle, a sharp whine expelling from the little furball that came out of nowhere.

He quirked a brow at the dog turned on its side, dizzy and whimpering as his little paws twitched.

“...You alright there?” He asked, lifting up the tiny dog to make sure it was still somewhat conscious. 

“I’m so so sorry, my puppy always manages gets out of his leash! He doesn’t even look where he’s going,” The blonde whined, gingerly taking hold of her limp dog who began to wag his tail as she pat his head. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Natsu said, shaking his head as he spoke through the lump caught in his throat. “I’m no worse for the wear, I just hope he didn’t hit his head too hard.”

“He’s got a thick skull,” She laughed and shook her head, Natsu’s chest tightening at the sound. It was like a melody of light bells, a sound he’d surely never get tired of hearing. “Well, thank you for catching him. We should be on our way,”

“Ah, wait!” His hand shot out to grab her arm before he could register his movements, Natsu feeling his nerves fall apart as she turned to look at him.

“What is it?” She asked, a light blush dusting on her cheeks. 

His face felt too hot for comfort as he worked up the courage to speak, to say something that wouldn’t make him seem like a total fucking idiot. 

“Do you...well, um...I think you’re––you’re really cute, so I was w-wonderin’––”

“I’m Lucy,” She giggled, lifting her phone out of her back pocket. “I’d love to give you my number if that’s what you were asking me for?”

“Y-Yeah...thanks...” He chuckled, trying to shake away the excess nervousness that sat in his bones. “Sorry, I don’t really do this kind of thing,”

“I don’t mind,” She smiled softly. “It was really sweet of you to work up the courage like that. And if you’re too nervous, I can make the first call?”

“I’ll call ya, for sure,” He grinned, swallowing the thick lump in his throat as she bat her eyes up at him. 

“I’ll be waiting then,”

[zamoimagines]

Seeing Your Toxic Ex in Public Headcanons (Sarah Characters)

A/N: The writers block is real and it’s because I’m going through a lot. Let’s be real, I’m still mad about what I went through and I wanna know how these bitches would act. I’m sure ya’ll get where I’m coming from. So let’s jump into this one.

Billie Dean Howard

Billie is first and foremost a lady. If she has beef with someone, she makes sure that she outwits her competition. Not like your ex qualified as actual competition to her. When you two ran into your ex at a party, Billie snaked her arm around your waist and pulled you close almost to protect you. They’d try to introduce themselves with a handshake, but Billie would completely ignore the gesture. She’s something along the lines of “Oh, that’s you. Yes, I have plenty knowledge about you to have a structured opinion.” When your ex would ask to talk to you privately, Billie wouldn’t hesitate to speak on your behalf, “Actually, Y/N can’t speak with you. We really must get going so we can speak to people who are worth our time. Good day... Whatever your name is.” As you two walked off, you’d tell Billie how bad ass she was and she’d make sure to press a kiss to your forehead. “Just wanted them to know that you’ve upgraded. It’s as simple as that.”

Lana Winters

Lana can be polite when she needs to be. This wasn’t one of those instances. You and Lana often shared cute cafe dates where she’d bounce writing ideas to you, and you’d work on your own stuff. It was a surprise that your ex had walked in that day and stopped directly at your table. Lana could see how uncomfortable you were to know who it was. She stopped them mid sentence as they tried to speak and simply said, “If you don’t leave within the next five seconds, I will place a restraining order on you without hesitation. I suggest you leave us be.” They would try to protest and Lana would simply stand to look them dead in the eye, “I don’t think you want to deal with the hell that will rain down upon you if you keep trying to push your luck. Leave.” They’d comply, Lana would sit back down and would take your hands into her own and ask if you were okay. When you’d thank her for protecting you, she would reply with a wink “No one messes with my girl.” 

Cordelia Goode

Pissing Cordelia off was rare, but it was always on another level bc this bitch has literal magic to use against people. A simple date to the local greenhouse garden took an unexpected turn when you noticed your ex from across the way. You wouldn’t tell Cordelia why, but you just insisted that it was time to go. “What do you mean, honey? We just got here-” But then she’d look in the direction you had and would know immediately. She’d glance back to you with a wide smile. “Watch this.” she’d whisper to you before flicking her wrist in one sharp movement. A hose from beneath where your ex was standing erupted upward and completely soaked them. They quickly left angrily as the hose almost seemed to follow them out of the damn store and employees were trying to tackle it. The Supreme would smile when she’d see your smile and would shrug, “Problem solved. Now, help me pick out some flowers for the dining room.”

Bette and Dot Tattler 

Bette and Dot are complete opposites majority of the time. Dot was definitely much more confrontational than her sister. Though Bette became vicious when it came to your ex. You’d gone to their show to cheer them on and even went backstage to give them a bouquet of flowers when your ex showed up to tell the twins what a big fan they were of them. Bette would give them a wide smile and in a pretty southern drawl would reply, “Awe, that’s very sweet of ya since we’re most definitely not fans of you.” Your ex would be confused by those words as Dot’s lips pressed into a malicious grin. “My sister’s right. Besides, you can’t be a fan, I’ve never seen you at any other damn show. You’re here to prove a point but here’s the thing-”, Bette would finish her sister’s sentence, “We’re twice the lover you are and Y/N is much happier with us than she ever was with you!” They’d be a little flustered with such a callout, but Dot would fix it up right quick and say “Best be on your way now. And don’t come back.” 

Sally McKenna

THIS CRAZY BITCH does not hesitate. You two were just strolling the halls of the hotel when you saw your ex rolling in a luggage. Sally got a weird vibe from this one, and by looking at the expression on your face, she could tell something was wrong. You’d whisper to her that the person was your ex. She’d reply with, “You mean the one that hurt you?” You’d nod to confirm. That was a big mistake. One minute, her fingers were interlaced with yours, and then they were ripped away as she nearly ran at them. She’d start pushing them and would yell at the top of her lungs, “WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” You’d try to stop her, but she’d keep going and would keep pushing them, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DAMN HOTEL BEFORE I SEW YOU IN TO A FUCKING MATTRESS YOU PIECE OF HOT FUCKING GARBAGE!” The interaction would be so intense that your ex would sprint out of the hotel and never come back. This bitch doesn’t play around.  

Audrey Tindall

Audrey could be a bitch when she wanted to be. She was a diva after all. You’d come to an award show to watch Audrey win another acting award in which you were incredibly proud of her. You just hadn’t been expecting for your ex to pop out of nowhere during the afterparty. Audrey would be the bitch that would call security the moment she saw them, and when they would try to insult her, she’d reply with, “How does it feel then? To know that you let go of such a wonderful woman who ended up with someone rich and famous rather than with a lowlife such as yourself? Must sting a little, hm?” Then security would drag your ex away. Audrey would give you a wide smile and hook her arm around your own. “I think a drink sounds nice, don’t you, darling? I’m thinking a fruity cocktail would lift our spirits.”

Ally Mayfair-Richards

You knew how busy Ally was between her campaign and trying to run the restaurant all on her own, so you decided to drop her off a coffee and a donut before you went to run errands. When you walked in, you weren’t expecting to see your ex sitting at a table near the front. You tried to avoid them and immediately went to Ally’s office to calm yourself. Someone told Ally that you were there so naturally she went to her office to find you. “Hey, beautiful. Couldn’t keep away from me, could you-” But she stopped as she saw you hyperventilating. Immediately, she asked you what was wrong and you explained. In a full rage, Ally left the office and went straight to the table your ex was at. “Excuse me, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Your ex would try to protest, but Ally would cut them off, “You know exactly why you’re not welcome here. Get the hell out of my restaurant.” Your ex would be escorted out by the wait staff as Ally made her way back to her office to wrap you in a big hug to let you know that everything was alright. 

Wilhemina Venable 

The person you’d definitely wouldn’t wanna piss off is fucking Venable. That should be a given. Despite her cold hearted tendencies, she was the most deadly when someone tried to hurt someone she loved. Leisurely strolls throughout the local art museum were a usual date for the two of you. Most of the time it was peaceful. This time happened to be different, for you quite literally bumped into your ex on accident. They immediately introduced themselves to Mina, though she wasn’t phased whatsoever. She knew exactly who they were. She’d push you to stand behind her as she towered over your ex. “How dare you hurt her in such a way. And now you introduce yourself to me acting as if I wouldn’t know the turmoil you have caused? If you don’t leave now, I will harm you in ways you could’ve never imagined and you will know what true pain feels like.” She was fuckin terrifying, your ex didn’t give a second thought to fleeing immediately. Mina would then hook arms with you in a protective manner and say, “Stay close to me, darling. I’ll keep you safe.” 

REQUEST MORE HERE!

[ectonurites]

for the character headcannons ask game, jason and cass?

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT im putting this one under a cut because it got SUPER long bc i cant shut up ever

lets start w jason

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok using the ‘realistic’ category here loosely but GOD i love the idea of Damian & Jason having interacted while Jason was staying with the League before getting dunked in the Lazarus Pit. like. this obviously would need to be set more in preboot and following the Lost Days & Batman Annual 25 version of Jason’s resurrection, but god the idea of it just makes me scream in a good way. Like... these are things Jason likely doesn’t remember very clearly once he’s brought back to life more fully by the pit because he was uh pretty catatonic, but Damian being a little kid and knowing about the boy that his mother keeps around the base, that she’s trying to help bring back to health. Damian not even knowing that’s his big brother, just that he’s a presence that shares his mother’s attention. Jason again being unresponsive but like, ok god you know that part of lost days where Talia shows the others observing him that he only fights back at those he perceives as genuine threats trying to hurt him, 

Because Jason can perceive that she’s safe, she’s not actually trying to hurt him, he trusts her because she saved him? thinking about lil child Damian who is ya know already being trained in fighting stuff and like the idea of him trying to provoke Jason just to see what happens but Jason not fighting back because on some level be it his connection to Talia or even little baby Damian visually reminding him of Bruce, he knows that Damian is safe too 🥺 

and then when Jason and Damian meet again in Gotham as Red Hood & Robin respectively, Jason not really remembering because there was so much going on back then for him, but Damian realizing that oh... that was Him

B (hilarious): 

alright so if we are looking at comics currently, in modern stuff jason is what, like 22? hes old enough to drink in the US but still definitely early 20s so around my around my age, thats what im using as a basis here. if we adjust timeline and still consider his death having happened when he was 15, that puts it around 2013. and then coming back to like interacting with people about three years later if we still kinda base things off of the preboot timeframe (since we never got a super solid retelling of the timeline of death -> resurrection -> training -> tries to get revenge aside from knowing he went to the all-caste instead of the lost days version of the story) making him reenter the regular world and stuff around age 18 in 2016. meaning a solid three years of pop culture that he was entirely missing, and like im sorry but he really doesn’t strike me as the type to bother looking into what he missed, he’s kinda busy focusing on other stuff. lets take a quick look at some major things from those years. 2013 gave us ‘what does the fox say’ and ‘the harlem shake’ . 2014 had that time U2 just put a fuckin album on everyone’s phones, The Fault In Our Stars movie came out. 2015 introduced the phrase ‘Netflix and Chill’ and the whole blue & black vs gold & white dress debate happened. imagine any of the other batkids (or even arguably roy during rhato stuff) bringing these things up and jason’s ensuing confusion. thank you for your time

C (heart-crushing): 

so. there are two specific instances from rebirth era Jason i want to bring up here and much like a lot of these it’s less a headcanon and more of an inference based on observations, but i wanna take a sec to discuss Jason’s relationship with other people’s death. early in rebirth, Tim ‘dies’ from that whole thing in detective comics. he didn’t actually die, we as readers know, but in-universe they all very much so thought he was dead. frustratingly a lot of the batfam wasn’t really shown mourning him aside from in the Detective Comics Rebirth title itself (which just. when a major character dies even if its temporary- that should have a ripple effect) BUT an exception to that is in RHATO 2016, where we get this offhanded comment in Jason’s internal monologuing

similarly later when Roy, who like, had an incredibly close relationship w Jason that had just gotten mended before Heroes in Crisis, gets fuckin murdered in that whole thing... Jason doesn’t go to his funeral either. He leaves a dramatic voice mail and then visits the grave on his own later, choosing to instead keep working on the mission they’d started rather than going and taking the time to mourn properly.

Jason’s relationship with death is incredibly complicated, obviously. He has died, he has come back, and he now is willing to cross the line most other bats won’t and will kill people when he deems it necessary. I think thats something important though- he doesn’t just like... go around killing for fun (usually, some writers preboot made him a little murder happy but even then usually this still was vaguely followed) he kills people he thinks deserved it. Like, even looking back at the mess of Morrison’s Jason during Batman & Robin 2009, Jason was still trying to bring a sense of justice with who he was killing (”punishment that fits the crime”), it wasn’t killing for the sake of killing. He sees things in this kind of almost black and white ‘people who deserve it’ and ‘people who don’t’ way, and he has no problem dealing with death when it’s with the people he thinks deserve it. 

but when someone who doesn’t in his mind ‘deserve it’ gets killed? i think he just goes into total avoidance mode. throws himself into other things he’s doing, tries not to dwell on it too much no matter how much he still thinks about it (this is especially evident in him consistently telling people “i’m fine!” after what happened to Roy, despite bringing Roy up literally like every few issues for a WHILE after he died and very clearly still struggling with it, Artemis is the only one who gets through to him on it a little bit) 

but yeah, I just think that from Jason’s relatively unique situation of having been murdered, he knows what it’s like and he is perfectly fine wishing that on people he thinks are bad and deserve it, but it crushes him to imagine the people he loves and cares about having to experience something as painful as what he went through. not to mention the whole “I came back, why do I get a second chance at all this when they, who are a much better person than I am, probably won’t” mindset we get some implications of him having 

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

hello DC i am once again insisting a batfam member is bisexual

CASS TIME

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok so we know cass likes ballet. thats canon. however i think we also should in general explore cass experiencing other types of dance/performance as well, be it herself as a performer or even just watching. like... god imagine her & like my brain just automatically for group activities puts her with tim steph and duke but also for this in particular I feel would be a Jason embraced activity, but like them going to see a broadway show or some other professional theatre or something, and her just being enthralled by the reading of body language of the performers! like again by any point in current stuff cass does have like, the ability to speak fine (reading still hard tho) but even so I think like. okay im a theatre kid if that’s not obvious from the Everything About Me but one thing I always do after seeing a show is ya know spend dinner afterwards discussing it with whoever i saw it with.

I just think that like, bringing those people i just mentioned to the table to discuss seeing a show after would be so FASCINATING because cass would bring this whole perspective of critiquing their acting on a whole different level- not based on how well they delivered lines out loud, but by what their body language was saying as they moved on stage. like im very amused by the idea of cass getting a totally different picture in her mind about what a character’s motivations were because she was paying way more attention to what their physicality was saying vs the words that were written and how they were delivered. i think the debates her and the others would have would be EPIC there. jason defending the text as it was written adamantly and cass being like ‘ok yeah sure but thats not what they did’

B (hilarious): 

cass having no concept of money because why would she bother? is SO funny to me. like it’s not that she couldn’t be reasonable if she wanted to, but like, she knows that the Waynes are well off so it’s not something she actually needs to be concerned about, so she just goes hog wild. takes steph out to fancy dinners and makes steph order for them since cass ya know doesn’t really read the menus, and steph’s like ‘jesus christ this costs-” “don’t worry about it” “but cass-” and she just holds up one of bruce’s credit cards and steph’s still like “but you don’t even know the range-” “it is fine”

bruce does not have the heart to tell her to stop

C (heart-crushing): 

i mean this is pretty much canon but especially now after death metal where she’s remembering, not just being told by a guy using weird alternate timeline technology, that she used to be an adopted member of the Wayne family... like that hurts so bad. To look at these people who have ya know been kind to her, Bruce has still been a father-like figure to her (i mean literally from the moment they met in New 52 canon during the flashback in Batman & Robin Eternal, where he’s telling her that she’s not a monster just because of what people forced her to do.... that she’s a hero... that hug.... dad behavior), and they do to some extent treat her as family... But to then really know, to feel and remember that she was actually adopted! She was a part of their family. To look at how she’s been calling herself Orphan while working with them this whole time... that’s so heartbreaking! I have cried about this idea so much! I want so badly a conversation between her and Bruce now where he offers to officially adopt her again, I need it so bad and if it doesn’t happen at some point in the next year or two I will be so distraught.

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

i want an in-depth exploration of cass’ relationship to her own gender. being raised without language and you know with so much of her life being independent (remember: CASS RAN AWAY AROUND THE WORLD WITHOUT REALLY KNOWING ANY SPOKEN LANGUAGE) and outside of an organized society impressing too much of gender expectations on her, i feel like the way she experiences it would be very unique! like sure she’s so far been fine with being assigned ‘girl’ (ya know that comes with batgirl, and how people just automatically treated her based on how she looks) but in terms of gender expression and like her actual relationship with ‘traditional femininity’ etc like... because of how she was raised I just think she’d have a really different perspective on it that could be cool to explore, and I think she’d fall outside of the binary after she really thinks about how she identifies.

tldr on that: she/they nb cass is what i’m getting at here

[helliontherapscallion]

omg pls share the story abt the lecture from that girl’s dad (only if u feel like it) but seriously ppl it’s not that hard to put a mask on to help the spread of a virus. just wear it, it keeps u safe. and for the ppl who don’t care then just wait til it affects u, bcs covid isn’t a game. I just wish ppl were more serious abt it

Ok so sit down and buckle up kiddos and grab some snacks bc this is a helluva ride

Little background info: I have been a section leader for both my junior and senior years now. When the new freshmen came in my first year of being section leader I was hyped as hell. And then this new freshman whips out a lighter and lights it WHILE WE’RE INSIDE THE SCHOOL MIGHT I ADD with a straight face looking off into the distance before we ask her to put it away. She also always has a pocket knife on her that we found on the ground during band camp. I’ll call her POS. 

I tried to like POS I really did, but then she turned out to be a bigoted racist asshole (she also drinks deer blood straight from the corpse and simps over jeffery dahmer so even more red flags). It was extremely hard for me to treat her like I did with the other people in my section, but I managed to treat her the same as the other people and avoided her for the most part (thank god she wasn’t in my subsection I would’ve actually gone insane)

Flash forward to this year. Covid was hitting full force and we had to quarantine for the first two months of our season setting us back by a lot. She was wishywashy about rejoining but as the most senior leader of my section my band director was on my ass about getting a straight answer from her and fast. So I kinda had to force her to give me an answer (which she told me she was doing it quickly which leads me to think she already knew she was doing it) so she already was going into the season hating my guts

When we finally had an in person rehearsal for the first time, she wasn’t wearing a mask so when I asked her where it was she looked at me like I was the dumbass and said in a matter-of-fact tone “it’s in my pocket” and pointed to the confederate flag bandana hanging out of her pocket. Those four words told me that this season was going to be a fuckin long one with her. I just deadpanned (she couldn’t see it tho bc mask, sunglasses, and floppy hat blocking my entire face) and said “I’d rather it be on your face. (band director and marching instructor’s names) will have my ass if they see you not wearing one.” She rolls her eyes and puts it on (at least it was over her nose)

A few months go by with me telling her constantly to put on a mask bc I am responsible for my section and I’d be damned if one of them got sick bc of one idiot being stupid that I could prevent. She is getting madder and madder with each passing rehearsal. 

Band camp rolls around and it changed from 5 13 hour days to 15 3 hour ones and I am already done with her bs. We get our dots and I mentally groan bc she’s next to me for the vast majority of the show. She is between me (an asthmatic) and my close friend (vvv immunocompromised and also hates her, I’ll call her S) so now I’m more worried about covid going around the section. It was in this time that I find out that at least 5 other people out of 20 also have pre existing conditions that make them susceptible. So now I make it even more my mission to make her wear a mask. 

It was in the middle of band camp when she is yet again not wearing a mask (we were just marching without instruments) and I turn to her and as kindly as possible (it was the second time that day) asked her to put on her mask. She once again rolls her eyes and says “ya know, (band director) walked past me 3 times and hasn’t said shit, so I think I’m gonna listen to him and not you.” S and another friend of mine looks over in shock cuz she just talked back to me. They were about to say something but I wove them off. POS wants to fuck with me? Fine. I’ll just go full force with this. She wants petty?? I’ll give her petty, I’ve been holding off all season. 

So I’m marching there for the next twenty minutes quietly seething and counting more aggressively. She’s getting annoyed, but I pull the section leader card and tell her that she needs to be counting as loud as I am bc her feet was lowkey off time. After we break off for a gush and go (very short water break), I go straight to my band director and use my limited water break to tell him what she told me. He apologizes and says that he thought she was just taking a breather. He tells her to put on a mask and she does so and glares at me the rest of the rehearsal. 

She blocks me on all social media and I obviously clown on her in private with the other section leader (he’s more of a pacifist and never really told her to wear a mask which kinda pissed me off but I understood) until she makes a passing comment to my other friend about using the knife she kept in her boot. Now he tells me cuz he’s a good friend and I’m shitting myself at that point bc holy shit I might get shanked. 

I think about telling the band director but I realize that there’s no proof of her saying this and she could easily get out of this so it’s kinda pointless to tell anyone. Plus if she did shank me, she’d get into so much trouble and I’d be laughing at her from my grave/hospital bed. 

Many rehearsals go by and she still refuses to wear a mask so after one rehearsal S and I went to the band director and reminded him about our conditions and told him about how we were worried for our safety (I also told him abotu the other vulunerable ppl in the section) and he says he’s gonna do something. Next rehearsal he gives POS a warning and she begrudgingly wears a mask for the rest of the rehearsal. The next rehearsal rolls by and she isn’t wearing a mask (again) and he sends her home. Major victory for S and I.

The next sectional tho was something I wasn’t expecting. I get there like 10 minutes before it starts like I usually do in a good mood. I get out of my car and go to grab my stuff when a massive white truck with a busted muffler pulls up into the parking space next to me with a cloud of black smoke. The window rolls down and reveals POS’s dad and POS herself in the passanger seat. 

Of course I’m thinking that this is the day I die and start mentally preparing to yell for help to my other section members 100 feet away on the field already.

Mans starts to lecture me saying things like “it’s unhealthy to wear a mask outside bc it’s like a pitri dish under there. 6th grade science!” (I am not joking or overexaggerating with this, he actually said that). I really wanted to say “well, 7th grade science says otherwise, but you wouldn’t know that bc I’m sure you didn’t pass 6th grade, but go off ig” but I didn’t bc I didn’t want to get shanked or disappear randomly. I just tell him that I am only doing what my band director told me to do and that there are tons of people (myself included) that can really get hurt from just being in contact with covid. He says that’s bullshit and tries to tell me that I’m an idiot before I cut him off by telling him once again that I am just trying to protect my section and that the sectional was going to start soon so I didn’t have the time for this. I walk away leaving him trying to keep talking to me and soon enough POS gets out of the car and follows me to the field giving me a smug smile on her unmasked face before she puts it on when she sees the other section leader stroll up. 

Lemme paint the picture for you: this guy (a 6′something burly guy in his 50′s that I know has like two felonies under his belt) pulls up next to me (a 5′2 17 year old ball of anxiety that drives a small yellow car) and starts to borderline yell at me. Traumatizing. I was shaking for the rest of the sectional and I spent the rest of the season looking over my shoulder looking for the glint of a knife swingin at me

Now I’m pretty sure she’s suspended bc she was caught with a knife on school property and she wore a confederate t-shirt to school, but I would be lying if I said I don’t still look over my shoulder or speed up when I drive past her house lmao

[poptod]

hey can u do a snafu x reader where she’s a marine corps engineer stationed with him and he’s likes her and hits on her but she always rejects him and when new recruits flirt with her he scares them away bc she’s “his girl” and like fluffy at the end? i know the engineer thing is weird but i’m an engineering student so... yeah. thanks and i love ur work! also i know i typed “she” but it can be gender neutral

Notes: I have a fic similar to this called 'Trouble won't let you forget' but i really wanted to write this anyway. it seems like a super interesting prompt and i've never written an engineer type character except once, but that was only kinda, so thanks for requesting! i don't feel fantastic about this but i hope you like it anyway. also sorry for the length.

You'd bet good money that out of all the soldiers on this godforsaken island, you'd been here the longest. There was hardly any question about it – you set up the original tents. You built the bridges, you set the trenches, you planted the landmines, and that made you an original. It was high time for you to be sent home, but the order never came, and all you could do is keep working.

The perks of being here since the beginning numbered few, but the one that gained you the most attention was the fact that you knew everybody. Every single person here had personally come up and had a conversation with you, filled to the brim with questions, wondering of how life worked and what exactly they'd be doing. Oftentimes people would come up and ask about other people – it was one of those ways people tried to know someone without actually talking to the other person, and you were happy to oblige. From this dependency on your library of knowledge, a deep-rooted respect had grown for you in the encampment, a respect that very few people dared to break.

There was a man who, like you, had yet to be sent home, and had been on the island for a good amount of time. Not as long as you of course, but a fairly long while. You didn't get on particularly well with him, which was unfortunate, considering it was likely neither of you were going to be sent home anytime soon. It wasn't that you wholly disliked him, either – it was more that he didn't like you. He never trusted you with anything. You'd get orders to build something, to scout out a new area, something like that and he always insisted on joining you, spouting bullshit about how you couldn't do it yourself, despite the fact that you've done this far more and for much longer than he has.

"Every single order for the past month, every one of them you've sent me on that dickhead -"

"Don't get snarky, Corporal," your CO interrupts you, his arms crossed as he sits leisurely behind his large, wooden desk, looking like he thinks he knows everything.

"You have to see my side of this, though," you plead, practically ready to get on your knees and beg.

"He don't have ta' see anythin', jus' that ya can't be left alone," Snafu, that asshole, that fuckface, drawled, a mocking laugh leaving him. You didn't bother to glare at him – it never worked.

"It's better for your own safety anyway," your CO says, a technically valid point, but your distaste for Snafu had grown that validity didn't matter. "Can't carry a gun in your arms if you're settin' out trenches."

With your fists curled so tightly that your nails almost dug through your skin and into your blood, you turned and left, seething with annoyance. Snafu followed after, walking by your side with that trademark smirk that did nothing but make you want to punch his face. You wouldn't, of course. Probably.

"Let's get this over with," you grumble, grabbing pikes out of one of the large, wooden crates sat beside your CO's tent. Stuffing them into your bag you turn, stumbling backwards when you find Snafu directly in front of you, close enough for your chests to be touching. Now greatly unsettled you circle around him, watching him the entire time to make sure he wasn't going to try anything.

You make your way through the camp, avoiding the larger crowds before finding yourself (and Snafu) in the wilds of the forest. Looking to your left you find bare ground, rich with fallen leaves and crumbles of dirt and mud, and to your right you see the already-dug trenches filled with puddles and forgotten trinkets. Pulling out one of the pikes you set it into the ground, stabilizing it just enough so you could stomp your foot on it, digging the marker deep into the earth. Snafu doesn't help – no, all he does is watch you sweat in the humidity caught beneath the canopy of trees, with his gun slung over his shirtless back and his boots pressing large footprints into the ground.

About halfway through you begin to have difficulty, which is fortunately something you expected. Thirst gets the better of you with your empty flask, but you don't dare ask Snafu for help, as you know exactly what his response would be. Something about how helpless you are, how you need him – something that both demeans and makes fun of you. You bite into the inside of your cheek in hopes of the preemptive anger dissipating. Instead of saying anything at all, you set another pike in the ground, practically pile driving it with the heel of your own boot.

"Lookin' pretty sweaty there," he says in that soft voice, that wonderfully soft voice that you would've adored, had you not understood the words he was saying.

"Cause you're such a prize? Look at yourself. You're sweatier and fuckin' filtheir than me too," you grit out, digging into the earth with your bare hands until you finally pull out the large rock in the way of your plans.

"No need ta get angry, doll," he laughs, pulling a cig out of his pocket and lighting it. With the obstruction his words are even harder to understand, slurred and blurry, and you already have enough issues with the left side of your face, what with the eye injury and the bomb damage. "Want one?" He says as he offers a cigarette to you.

"No," you mumble. "That shit'll kill you."

Considering the amount of times he's called you doll, one would assume you know what the nickname means. You don't. Most people call you Foxeye, and Snafu calls most people by their usual nicknames, but not you. Nope, he has to make your life harder in every aspect, so of course that means giving you a new, separate name that you have to respond to. Even the way he speaks that name is demeaning – like you're something precious. Like you'll break.

"Why don't you make yourself useful and actually help me for once?" You ask when your trail begins to circle back to camp, pounding another pike into the ground.

"Nah... I like t' watch ya sweat," he says with an obnoxious grin.

"I can't wait till you go home," you grumble.

"Me too, doll."

+

To your dismay, neither you nor Snafu are sent home before the next installment of men comes in. You're sitting on the beach, trying to draw one of the crabs scuttering about on the sand when you spot the massive boat, first only a grey speck on the distant horizon. Over time it grows closer, and by midday you can tell for certain it's a boat with a new installment. By the afternoon it docks near the bridges you helped to build, and the men come out. Each of them have fresh haircuts, with clean-shaven chins and bright eyes. It isn't the hair or the happy eyes that sets them clearly apart from the others, though – the major difference between you and them is that they're clean. You can see the actual color of their skin, and their clothes are neatly pressed.

From your spot on the beach you admire them. Love for men is not something you share with many people. Actually, you don't share it with anyone, as any mention of it would seriously damage both your reputation and your relationship with your CO and the various companies gathered here. Still you watch in silence, heart racing when a brunet with a sharp jawline and dark eyes meets your gaze and smiles. He smiles at you, and instantly you can feel blush fill your cheeks. Nothing will come of it, you know that, but it's a pleasant feeling that has you upbeat the rest of the day.

Several days later you happen to have an actual conversation with the man, but it's nothing more special than what people usually talk to you about. The sun overhead burns warmth into your skin, and as you stretch out in the back of one of the trucks, your eyes close. Heat is generally despised around here mostly because it's always hot, but every now and then it can be pleasant. This is one of those times, where a quiet happiness bubbles in your stomach. One of the men the handsome stranger is walking with notices you, mumbling something you can't quite hear, but the group approaches you. When one of them clears his throat you pop open your one good eye, sitting up when you notice all of them looking at you.

"You're Foxeye?" One of them asks with a furrowed brow.

"What gave it away?" You say with a pleasant yet distant smile. Reaching for your hip you pull out your flask, unscrewing it and taking a long sip, one you know shows off your own jawline and your permanently bloodshot left eye.

"You've got quite the name around here," the handsome one from before says, leaning against the truck in a positively tantalizing way. You're good at not letting it show, so you just shrug, turning to him with a soft grin that manages to make his cheeks turn a pretty pink.

"Seems like you know me already. What are your names?" You ask, doing a quick survey of the group before turning back to the handsome stranger.

"I'm Mark. Lester," he says, offering his hand for you to shake, which you gladly accept.

The others introduce themselves after him, and although you try to remember everyone's names, the introduction is cut short by that guy. Snafu worms his way through the crowd, pushing anyone who tries to stop him out of the way. You try to ask him what the hell he's doing this time, but before you can say anything at all, he grabs your wrist and pulls you down from the truck bed, pulling you out and away from the group of new soldiers. Trying to yank yourself out of his grasp you pull, scratching at his fist and groaning with the effort.

"What the hell are you doing!?" You finally ask when the group is in the distance. Only there does he release you, turning round to face you with almost... angered eyes. Why would he be angry with you?

"I ain't doin' this for myself," he tells you, gritting the words out. "Captain wants t' speak with ya."

"Oh," you mumble. "You could've just told me, instead of fucking – it looked like you were gonna kill me."

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't even smile, and he certainly doesn't carry his usual lax body language, something that does its' job of unsettling you. All he does is turn and leave, leaving you alone in front of your CO's tent. All you want is for him to like you, but no, he has to refuse, and further than that he has to be an asshole about it. Slow with shock you open up the door, entering the tent to find it empty, many of the classified documents scattered about his desk. It doesn't interest you greatly – most people are already willing to tell you their secrets, considering how well you keep them, but what does interest you is what you see past the mesh of your CO's tent.

Snafu's talking to Mark. Neither of them look particularly happy, but you couldn't imagine any situation where they'd get on anyway, what with their massive personality differences, but this isn't normal. They're pissed. Snafu doesn't get incredibly angry, but now he looks outraged. You're too far away to hear what they're saying, but soon their words turn to yelling, and you can do nothing but stand there and watch as other men start getting involved. One group is trying to calm Snafu down and the other is trying to reason with Mark, and as they yell louder you can just barely make out their words.

"You're a fuckin' pussy, Marky!" Snafu yells, kicking his legs into the air as two men grab underneath his arms, lifting him up and trying to carry him away.

"I'd rather be that than an asshole as fucked up as you," Mark says, spitting at the ground.

His actions do nothing more than rile Snafu up further, till he's writhing in his friend's grasps, pushing and pulling so harsh that he falls to the ground and starts in a dead sprint towards Mark. Mark is fittingly terrified by this, backing up into the large gathering of men behind him, but it's not enough. He ends up falling back into them as Snafu practically launches himself at the man, landing on a pile of bodies that quickly squirm out of the way as Snafu pounds his fist into Mark's face.

"You fuckin' touch 'em, even look at 'em ever again I'll give you a real beating," Snafu says when he stands, leaving Mark in a daze from his fist. To finish it off Snafu lands a harsh kick to his chest, dramatized by the heavy fall of his boot, drawing a harsh cough and breath from Mark.

It's only when the crowd disperses that you realize your mouth has been hanging open, quickly rectifying that with a quiet embarrassment. In a reflex you pull your flask from your hip, opening and taking a long swallow from it. Part of you wants to go help Mark, another part wants to go yell at Snafu, but the part that wins over is your curiosity. You don't want to ask Mark what happened, and you don't want to ask Snafu either – Mark may be handsome, but you don't know enough about him to trust he'll give an accurate description of events. Snafu likes to make your life a living hell, so you can't depend on him for truth either, leaving you with one choice.

Wandering around the camp you find a group of men smoking together in general silence, a group neither Mark nor Snafu is in. There you stop, not bothering to ask if you can sit down with them before you do so. Again, you're well known – no one besides Snafu has any issues with you. So you ask them.

"What the hell were they fighting about?" You ask amidst the quiet, knowing they would all know who you were talking about. One of them looks up at you, a pipe hanging out of his mouth, and a single eyebrow quirked.

"Are you being serious?" He asks you as the others pointedly ignore your conversation.

"... yes?" You say, feeling less sure of yourself the more he stares at you.

"Just go ask Snaf. He'll tell you better," he says, and after that he returns back to his magazine. A small sigh leaves you as you stand, brushing off your already dirty clothes.

Every part of you screamed that Snafu wouldn't tell you the truth, so you leave it at that. You're happy to stay in the dark as long as it means you avoid having another excruciating conversation with that man. You’re done trying to win his favor. For the next several days you even do your best to avoid him, ducking out of the mess tent when he enters and walking the other direction when you see him down the path. In fact, you do such a good job of it, that you only talk to him again when you're setting up the rest of the trenches. Once more he's managed to convince your CO to send both of you on to chart out the remaining trenches, even though the job is rarely dangerous, and you did it fine before he ever even came to the island.

Once more you find yourself ignoring his incoherent ramblings, drinking a long swig from your flask before letting out a sigh, driving another pike into the ground. Sometimes you can barely even hear him – this is one of those times, and these times make it easier for you to do your job. If you cared about Snafu you might've made an effort to understand him, but you don't care about him. At all. He could choke on his dinner and you wouldn't raise your head.

"I've got a question for you," you grunt out, knelt beside a pike that just won't go in. There you begin to dig at the earth with your hands, trying to find the hard ground or the rock stopping it.

"Go ahead, doll," he says when you pause in concentration.

"Jesus –" you mumble beneath your breath, your annoyance spiking at the nickname. "Saw you and that new recruit duking it out. What was that about? No one's willin' to tell me."

He went silent.

Snafu never goes silent, especially when the subject of a fight he won is brought up. Even when you move onto the next pike he doesn't speak, so you turn to him, sitting down in the dirt and looking up at him.

"What? I say something wrong?"

He still doesn't say anything, but he drops to his knees, almost right between your legs as you looks to you with a reverence so deep and pure you think you're imagining it. But you blink, and he's still there, one hand wrapped around your ankle and the other right beneath your raised thigh. Your breath catches in your throat, but from what you can't tell – is it surprise? Horror? Intrigue? All you can feel is the way his bare skin moves against your clothed legs, clouding out all thought of your racing heart.

"Y' ever hate someone?" He asks in the softest voice you've heard him use. Words fail you, so you nod, thinking only of him. "Is it me? I don’t blame you."

Well, you don't hate hate him – it was more of a he hated you, so you hated him in return situation. Nonetheless you nodded, curious to see where this was going.

He surges forward, and in one fluid motion he's kissing you, pressing you up against the bark of the tree behind you. Your immediate reaction is to try and crawl backwards, try to get away from him, but you're stopped by the tree, and he uses it to his advantage. The hand around your ankle moves, coming up to your head and tangling in your hair. There he pulls, drawing the smallest whine – not a moan, you won't let it be a moan – from your unwilling mouth. He presses himself impossibly close to you, till you're chest to chest, his hips practically grinding into yours. The way his lips move – soft against your own, needy and full of an ardor you didn't know could exist, especially not within him, but it's there. God, it's there, it's all you can feel as he nips at your lip, soothing the burn he leaves with his tongue. In that tiny motion, that semblance of caring you melt. Only then do you return his kiss, letting him pull at your hair, letting him have this control that is so rare to find in such a place as this.

"I told him you were mine," he mumbles when he pulls away, his breath warm against your cheek as he moves to whisper in your ear, all the way leaving tiny kisses. "Fucker thought I was lyin'. You're mine."

"Yeah," you breathe out, regaining control of your limbs just soon enough to hold his cheek in your palm, drawing him back to you and pulling him into a kiss you control. "I - I thought you hated me."

"Nah," he says, chuckling against your lips. "Jus' lookin' out for ya."

Now that was a surprise – and for once, it’s one you like.

[lemonwritesstuff]

safety pin (ow highschool au)

summary: jesse and genji make a promise to each other and maybe, this time, two wrongs will make a right. read it on ao3

a/n: this is very based off the song safety pin by 5 seconds of summer bc im on a mcgenji and old 5sos kick rn. Featuring an american high school written by a british first year college student. Also jesse and hana are jack and gabes kids ok good cool also genji is trans and lucio is enby ok bye 

genji and jesse use he/him, hana uses she/her and lucio uses he/they

Ships: mcgenji, a sprinkling of bunnyribbit and background reaper76

word count: 1.2k (this is the longest fic i’ve ever written holy shit)

tw for mentions of transphobia and gender dysphoria/ self deprecating talk

Jesse just wanted to get to his locker. But instead, he was greeted with a crowd of people shouting horrible things at someone. Upon further investigation, he saw two people being targeted. And when the taller boy saw the green, he knew it was Genji and Lucio. 

Genji could usually stand up for himself, so why wasn’t he? 

Before anything could happen physically, the vice principal, Jack Morrison, appeared with his husband and head of phys ed, Gabriel Reyes, in tow. They were the teachers in charge of the GSA and they were also Jesse’s parents. They both knew how much Genji meant to Jesse, and how much Lucio meant to Genji so they were always first to take their side whenever anything happened to them.  

“Get to class, all of you!” Jack shouted, his voice laced with anger but also an attempt to stay professional. Gabe weaved through the crowds in an attempt to get them to disperse, before he caught the dickheads responsible.

“Principal's office. Now” Gabe scowled, his voice also laced with anger.

 As the crowd cleared, Jack spotted Jesse and Hana, worry plastered on their faces.

“Jesse, Hana, stay here.” he said, his voice much softer. He had a soft spot for any of the kids in the GSA, he’d been in their position years ago and was glad to give them the help he wished he had. At this point, the GSA was just the entire queer population of the school and no allies, but that was fine. They could all just unapologetically be themselves, without the fear of judgement. The GSA was the safest place in the school to be for them. 

“I’ll let your teachers know what's gone on and have them mark you in for the rest of the day but you don't have to go to class.” He was addressing the four of them now, voice still soft but laced with concern for the green duo. “I’ll write you all hall passes but you’re free to sit in our room if you want to. I’ll also notify all staff about what’s happened and I’ll be in my office if any of you need me.” 

“Thank you, Sir.” the four of them said in somewhat unison. Once Jack had walked off, Hana rushed over to Lucio, who was leaning against the wall and still shaking from the encounter.

“Lú! Are you ok?” Hana asked, concern now laced through her voice. She cradled Lucio’s head in her hands, rubbing away their tears. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, Hana. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before. I guess I deserve it, wearing a skirt to school” they replied. Being one of two openly trans people in the entire school was bound to go wrong at some point. 

“Shut it, dingus. We both know you don’t deserve it. It’s not our fault people are transphobic assholes.” Genji chimed in. 

“Exactly!” Hana said. “Now, let's go sit in the room and fix your makeup. You deserve to feel pretty, baby.” With that statement, the pair set off, hand in hand, to the room that GSA meetings were held in, leaving Jesse and Genji alone in the hallway. Genji was still processing what happened but Jesse pulled him back to reality.

“Our spot?” Jesse asked, voice quiet in order to not disturb the students learning in the class opposite them. Genji just nodded, and after Jesse got his bag from his locker (which was the only reason he was in that part of the school anyway), they set off toward the exits.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Thank god I got some snacks, I forgot we were gonna have a shorter lunch. I’m starvin’.” Jesse started, plonking himself down on the ground with Genji following suit opposite him. “You ok darlin’? Ya still look scared. How come ya didn’t stand up for yourself? I know you can, the entire grade has seen ya do it before.”  Genji chuckled and sighed, before replying.

“I was already having a bad enough day with my dysphoria and I was talking about it with Lucio when someone overheard us and.. yeah.” 

“Oh, baby, I-”

“No, it’s fine.” Genji said, cutting Jesse off. “They’re right, I’m not a real man and never will be. I wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted to break up with me, Jesse.” Genji couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and before he could say anything, he was in Jesse’s arms. One of the few places he felt safe. One of two places where he could exist without judgement.

“Dumplin’, I know it’s hard but please never believe anything those assholess say. You’re not only a man, but you’re MY man and I’m not going anywhere. Nothing will ever change that. Ever. They’re just asshats that lack so much self confidence that they tear others down.” Jesse said softly, cradling his lovers face in his hands, wiping away tears. 

Genji melted at any nickname Jesse gave him, especially dumpling. It came from an in-joke on their first date, where Genji had compared himself to a dumpling, small and bite sized (compared to Jesse anyway) and the nickname stuck ever since. 

“Do ya want me to do anything, darlin’?” Jesse murmured, rubbing circles on Genji’s back in an effort to calm his tears.

“No, this is fine for now.” Genji barely whispered, not even daring to look up at the brunette. Just as Jesse was about to reply, his phone pinged. 

buncha fuckin misfits

padre: the dickheads have been dealt with and they’re outta here

gaymer gorl: good riddance lmao

boy scout lookin ass: those kids have done this multiple times and i’m surprised it took this long to expel them 

boy scout lookin ass: how are gen and lú by the way?

gaymer gorl: i redid Lú’s makeup and they’re back to lookin fabulous!

yee to the haw: just givin’ gen some cuddles, he was already havin’ a bad day with dysphoria and he just needs some convincin’ that he’s stronger than he thinks. he’ll be ok :)

With that, Jesse shut off his phone and turned his attention back to the green haired boy in his arms. The brunette ran his hands through the sea of green hair beneath him, letting out a low whistle when he realised how soft it was.

“I redyed it last night” Genji said, his tears having pretty much run dry at his point. 

“Well, ya better tell me what hair products you use, darlin’. Wish my hair was as soft as this.” 

Genji let out a chuckle, which made Jesse smile. He’s getting there. 

The pair stayed like that for some time until Jesse had an idea. He reached over to his bag and pulled a safety pin off the strap, handing it to Genji. Before Genji could question him, he began to explain himself.

“ Maybe we can safety pin the pieces of our broken hearts back together. We’ve both been hurt so much in the past, and we’re obviously gonna wanna be whole in the future. So, I’ll give you this as a promise, that I’m always gonna have your back and the one on my bag is your promise to me, that you’ll always have my back. Make sense?” Jesse said, pinky extended towards his love, smile creeping onto his face.

“Of course.” Genji replied. “Besides, maybe, this time, two wrongs make a right.”

[barrysjumpsuit]

blindsided - oc x rafe cameron (ch. 2)

me??? posting chapters two days in a row???? (who is she)

part one

word count: 3k

warnings: abuse and mentions of past abuse, cannabis use, cocaine use, mentions of sex, plot/timing holes (just dont think abt canon too much it’s pretty loose)

synopsis:  christy is a lifelong resident of the outer banks. after a series of hookups with rafe cameron, kook royalty, she’s smitten. what she doesn’t know is about what her boyfriend and brother are involved in behind her back

a/n: really enjoying how this is coming along bc i’m totally just making it up as i go. ya boy jj makes an appearance in this one!! and BARRY!!!! next chapter has more plot i PROMISE 

 --------

The sun was about to set as Christy arrived home.

“Home” was a relative term. She lived in a trailer with a leaky roof, messy yard, and weird smell. Strange people she didn’t know were always there, and it was hard to truly feel at peace when she was there. The only thing that kept her coming back, especially after getting with Rafe, was her brother. 

Barry truly was the only thing she had left. The two of them had always been as thick as thieves – they still were, but their own respective businesses had changed them. Christy just grew and sold a bit of weed. She made a couple hundred bucks here and there, mostly targeting tourists. Barry’s dealings were much more illegal, and all the bad things that came with selling blow naturally happened at her house. 

She could hear the crackling of a fire as she rounded the corner of the trailer. Barry and a couple others sat there, whooping and hollering. “Look who finally decided to make an appearance,” she heard her brother yell. He raised a beer in the air as if to make a toast. “My favorite sister!” 

“Just making sure you’re not twitched out somewhere, B,” Christy said back, not altering her path to the door. Right as she went to pull open the screen door, someone pushed it open, stumbling out of the trailer. “Excuse you.” 

“Watch your mouth when you speak to me, little girl,” the man growled at her. 

“I’m the one who lives here,” Christy replied flatly, not budging, and the man suddenly had her pinned to the wall of the trailer, a forearm pressing against her throat. 

“Yo Luke, lay off of her!” she heard Barry call. Her hands were grabbing at Luke Maybank’s arm, her eyes forced to meet his. His pupils were blown up and delirious. “What the fuck, man!” 

Barry pried Luke off of her, and Christy leaned against the cheap railing on the front steps to catch her breath. “Get the fuck out of here,” she heard Barry tell him before he turned to her. “Bro, you good? Where have you been the past few days?” 

“I’m fine,” Christy said. Her heart felt like it was going to beat through her chest. Barry reached out to grab her shoulder, but she instinctively flinched away. “I’ve been staying with someone.” 

She was aware of Barry watching her as she pulled open the screen door and went into the trailer. It was hot and stuffy. Inevitably, somewhere, something was growing mold, and they would have to deal with it like they had to almost every other time a storm knocked out power. It made her feel guilty as hell, knowing she was staying with Rafe in his kook mansion, while her brother was stuck here, alone, with whatever coked out friends he had with him. 

After deciding there was nothing she wanted to eat, Christy made her way through the messy living room and down the hallway to her bedroom. She kept the door locked. Fishing the key out of her back pocket, she unlocked the padlock and stepped into her bedroom. 

Her plants were moved hastily in front of her window, since the power knocked out the lights they normally sat under. They took up most of the space in her bedroom, and they also occupied her parent’s old bedroom. Christy couldn’t be bothered to water them; she just took off her shirt and laid on her bed, sweaty and with nothing to do. 

She rolled over, pulling out an already loaded bowl and lighter from her nightstand. Pushing herself up, Christy brought the pipe to her lips and lit up, breathing deeply and bringing the smoke into her lungs. She blew out a thick cloud, almost having to cough. The greens were strong but tasted good. She took another hit, then another, before leaning back and closing her eyes. 

It was almost unnerving to think about how quickly she had fallen for Rafe. They sporadically hooked up throughout the past couple years. A lot of times they were each other’s rebound. Other times, it was at parties. Despite being from the Cut, Christy was often welcome at kook parties, going where her brother wouldn’t dare going to move product. She didn’t like having a middle man. Grow, harvest, sell, consume. That’s how she liked her bud to go. 

She knew Barry and Rafe had a history. But Barry has beef with a lot of people, and so did Rafe. Christy didn’t side with either. Rafe hadn’t paid Barry enough, failing to hold his end of the deal. But Barry had ripped Rafe off, knowing his family had more than enough money to repay him. It spiralled from there until they fought and beat each other an inch from death. Since then, Rafe had cleaned up his act as well as sobered up, and she hadn’t seen him at her place since. It was better that way. She didn’t have to worry about the crossover between her relationship with him and her relationship with her brother. 

Barry was a shitty person. Everyone knew that. He moved more cocaine than anyone else on the island. It was impossible for him to hold onto a relationship for more than a week or two. He had a temper, and a mouth and fists to back it up. Despite this, Christy knew he was her lifeline, and she was his. Whenever they had to run errands or go anywhere on the island, they tried to go together. Safety in numbers. 

Both of them had people that hated them. 

Barry more so than Christy, but they both had enemies. It was just how the politics of drug dealing worked. Christy mainly targeted tourists, playing her cards smartly. In and out, one and done. She premeasured the bud into $10 bags, or as joints using cigarettes. It was a big hit. At each kegger she went to, she could usually pull two or three hundred bucks. 

Christy took another hit before inspecting her pipe. A friend of hers had blown and crafted it for her birthday this past winter. It was a swirling design of pinks, yellows, and oranges. It looked like a sunset; every night, she would smoke on their west-facing dock and watch the sunset. 

Except tonight. The sky was dark by the time she made her way outside. Barry was no longer by the fire, which was dying. Two of his buddies were still there, laughing at something funny only to them. Christy walked past them, down the dock and onto their little boat. She sat down next to Barry, their shoulders lightly touching on the small bench seat. 

Her mind was still racing, and she lit her bowl again. “You’re not going to that kook party tonight?” Barry asked, his voice still with its disinterested tone. 

“Nah. With the power out I’m not sure how much bud I’m going to able to get through this. They need light to grow.” 

“I’ve been rotatin’ them in front of the windows for you. And watering them,” Barry said. She could tell he was coming down from a high he had likely been riding all day. 

Christy could also tell he brought this up for a reason. 

“How much short are we?” she asked quietly. “I can see if I can pick up extra shifts.” 

He shook his head beside her before putting his head in his hands. “I don’t know man, but we’re short. Fuckin’ Agatha fucked us over, man. I can’t get any more for another couple weeks and I don’t have much left.” 

“A lot of mine won’t be ready to harvest for a few weeks. Shit, B, why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It’s not like you were here,” he said. His words stung, and I knew he was right. “It’s not like you’re ever here anymore except to smoke pot.” 

“Barry,” Christy said, trying to be as stern as possible. “I’ve been working every fucking day. Agatha scared people away, so I’m not making good tips. It’ll bounce back soon, okay? I’ll make ends meet. Every time I come home you’re just blitzed to high heaven off your own product. You’re as guilty as I am.” 

Her brother’s shoulders shook with a laugh, and he wiped his nose with a forearm while she took another hit. “I suppose so. You’ve got something on your neck, by the way. Who’s that from?” 

Christy stiffened and almost launched into a coughing fit, and Barry knew he caught her. He looked over at her, expecting an answer after she exhaled the smoke. “Some tourist I met the other night at a kegger. Thought he could strike a deal with me.” 

“Hmmm,” Barry mused. She couldn’t tell if he was buying it or not. “You’ve gotta be careful with them tourons and kooks, never know how they’re gonna use you.” 

The weed had hit her enough so that Barry’s words didn’t fully register in her brain. “They’re always up to something,” she agreed. The swaying of the boat underneath her was an odd feeling and she leaned back in the seat, throwing an arm on the back of the seat behind Barry. 

The stars were brilliant on the south side of the island, with no light pollution to drown them out. Two nights ago, she and Rafe sat on the roof of the Cameron house, looking at the same sky, but the lights were so bright you could see only a handful of the stars. 

It was the simplicity of being a pogue that Christy liked. She didn’t have to worry about her social life or schedule outside of work. She didn’t have to worry about her image. She didn’t have to worry about businesses or making people happy or petty things that Rafe worried about. She could do what she wanted, when she wanted.

With the sky stretching endlessly above her, she felt like she was inside a dome. Like she was in a snowglobe. Agatha was the shake, mixing everything and everyone up. Now, the snowflakes were settling into new positions. Some were unstable, perched on plastic trees or people or houses, bound to fall to the ground. Some were already on the ground, back to their original positions. Others still, small little pieces of glitter, swirled around in the liquid inside. 

She didn’t want to inevitably settle back into her old life. It was too mindless and mundane. Wake up, work at The Wreck, sell weed to tourists, hook up with random people. It was repetitive. Christy wanted something with meaning and risk. What was the view like, perched on top of the tallest tree in the snowglobe? Sure, it had potential to fall back to the ground like all the other pieces of snow. But there was also potential to stay there, seeing things no one else could and experiencing something it hadn’t experienced before. 

Maybe Rafe was her tree. Holding her up with supportive branches, his roots deep into the soil of Tannyhill. He was here to stay, at least for now. 

Maybe it was Christy’s turn to join him.

--

By four in the afternoon, Christy was done with her day. 

She woke up early, tending to her plants before locking up the two rooms and heading to work. The morning shifts were her favorite. Less asshole tourists and more local residents. Christy knew them well, making polite small talk with the older people and getting plenty of tips. Working at The Wreck was nice. It gave Christy a sense of anonymity, making her feel less like a pogue and more like a normal person. For her work shifts she cleaned up nicely, interacting with people who didn’t know about her relation to Barry or her side hustle. 

After Christy clocked out for the afternoon after her ten hour shift, she shouldered her backpack and lazily threw her apron over one shoulder. Under her work clothes she wore her swimsuit, ready for an afternoon of surfing with Rafe and his friends. 

Stepping outside into the bright sun, she saw Kiara talking with her friends. Christy liked Kiara – she was one of her closer friends, but their relationship didn’t touch the bond she had with those three boys. Christy was friendly enough with them, and she gave them a wave as she walked past. 

“Hey, Christy!” 

A voice called out behind her and she turned around to see JJ jog up to her. John B rolled his eyes as he left the group to follow Christy. “Yeah, JJ?” she asked. 

“Hey, uh, we’re going to have a kegger at the Boneyard tonight, if you’d like to come. I’d like to do some business with you.” 

“How much you want?” Christy asked, ignoring any euphemisms people often use when asking for weed. “You better claim yours now, I’m running low.” 

“You and everyone else on the island,” JJ said, smiling. “Five grams?” 

“You got it, I can bring it to you tonight.” Christy pulled her cigarette carton from her pocket, taking one out and lighting it. “By the way, tell your father it’s rude to assault people at their own home and my brother doesn’t want to see him again for some time.” 

JJ’s face dropped. “What did he do? Did he hurt you?” 

She blew out the smoke before answering. “Pinned me against a wall. Nothing that hasn’t happened before, but… B’s stressed out and it won’t be good for either of them or for us if he sees him any time soon.” Christy lowered her voice slightly. “If he needs any blow, let me know and I can be a middle man. Okay?” 

“He’s a piece of shit,” JJ muttered, not answering her question. 

“JJ,” Christy said sternly, and JJ’s wandering eyes returned to meet hers. “Give him my contact information. I’ll deal with it so you don’t have to. Okay?” 

“He’s not your problem,” JJ said, but Christy knew she got through to him as good as she could. “Thanks, Christy. I’ll see you tonight?” 

“You got it,” Christy answered, giving him a playful salute with the hand that held her cigarette. At that, they turned away from each other and she started off to where she told Rafe she would meet him to go surfing. 

The cigarette gave her a slight buzz. It felt like a warm hug, enveloping her. That little bit of pep was what she needed, coming off an early morning and long shift. Pretty soon, the pavement turned into sand, and she could see several figures ahead holding surf boards. 

“How was work, baby?” Rafe asked as she walked up to them. He pulled her into a kiss before she could answer. Christy’s hands rested on his bare shoulders, standing on her tiptoes in the sand to reach his lips. 

“It was good,” she replied. “Glad I’m here and not there, though.” 

Kelce fake gagged at her words, and Rafe rolled his eyes at him. “Fuck off, Kelce,” Rafe said, kicking sand towards him. Rafe was wearing his sea foam green board shorts, the color glowing against his tanned skin. 

“He’s just jealous,” Christy cooed, walking away from Rafe to give Kelce a hug. “It’s okay Kelce, I love you too.” 

“Oh wait a second, was that the L word?” Topper asked, breaking Christy and Kelce apart. Topper looked from Christy to Rafe, raising his eyebrows. 

Christy looked at Rafe, who jumped in. “Sure was, Top,” he said nonchalantly. “Now can we shut the fuck up and get into the water?” 

Kelce gave Christy a confused look at Rafe’s short temper, and Christy just shrugged. They had brought her board, which she left at Rafe’s house. After taking off her clothes, much to the boys’ delight, she slipped the band around her ankle and the four of them started towards the water. 

It was a good evening for waves. The water was refreshing, and it was nice to do something normal after Agatha. Rafe’s idea of a date defaulted to a ride on the Druthers, as if to wow her, followed by expensive wine and sex on the boat. It was nice, and she enjoyed it, but Christy had had sex on plenty of boats and it was never her favorite thing.

Surfing with Rafe and his friends was much more up her alley. She was a good surfer, and Rafe knew it. While they were on the water, Topper and Kelce gave him shit for having his ass owned by hers. Christy countered right back, pointing out that she was also owning their asses. It gave her a small victory: something she was better at than the kooks.

They tired quickly, and Christy mentioned the kegger at the Boneyard. “Bring Sarah, it’ll be like a double date,” she told Topper, much to Kelce’s dismay. “And Kelce, look at you. You’re gorgeous, all wet and glistening and half naked. Just stand in the water like that tonight and the girls will be all over you. I’ll make it my personal mission to find you someone.” 

The kooks were never one to turn down a party, especially one with easy pickings for both fights and girls. Topper called Sarah while they were walking back to Rafe’s truck; they put their boards in the bed and Christy climbed into the front seat, while Topper and Kelce crammed into the back of the cab. 

“She’ll come,” Topper reported. Rafe dropped off Kelce before driving to the Cameron estate.

Topper left to find Sarah, while Rafe took Christy to his bedroom. “Can I shower?” she asked, and he nodded. 

The Camerons had hot running water. Another thing she didn’t have on the Cut. It brought up those conflicting emotions again, as she remembered hearing Barry grumble about not being able to shower, which was a very non-Barry thing to complain about. Christy had insisted he use some of the distilled water she had for her plants, but he refused. 

She would have to swing back home before the party tonight to get weed, both for JJ and the tourists. Not much was left – she wanted some to keep for herself, but she needed money. 

Christy really didn’t want Rafe anywhere near her place. 

She just had to hope Barry was out, and that no one was there, or things could get bad.

----

taglist (reply, reblog, or ask to be added!!!) @stargazingstarkey @letsgofullkook @macchiatohno @ampanonyg @hoeforpankow @jjsmentalpolaroids @drewstarkey @obbx-tings @bricksatanakinswindow

[theforce]

presumptive horrible rotten case of corona: symptoms

presumptive bc i couldnt get a god damn test i live in new york and while there are testing sites all over the state and our state govt is doing what they can now, i don’t want to be the person taking away a test from someone else especially now that i am mostly better, most of this went down at the beginning of the month and i’m still dealing with the effects of it. 

there was a lot of confusion here even as recent as 2 weeks and we are the state that’s testing more than the rest of the entire country so here is my account of what went down w me, and honestly, what might go down with you or someone you know as soon as this reaches your state

1) i threw up all night long, thought it was a stomach virus, had a lot of stomach issues for like 24 hours, very strange i haven’t had a stomach virus in YEARS since i was a literal child, anyways right before i started puking up my life i developed this weird cough, it felt like it was from my throat, like i was trying to clear it? but it was often and annoying 

2) after my 24 hours of hell i felt feverish and exhausted but i chalked it up to being on the floor of the bathroom all night, exerting my esophagus and body to throw up the devil himself, i tried to sleep it off, i woke up a few hours later in a fog, i was shivering but i was also burning up, i couldn’t tell left from right, up from down, my fever was 100.3, at this point i had my mom call my doctor and make an appointment, she made it for me w the receptionist, everything was fine until 20 minutes later i got a call back from my actual doctor not the receptionist who was like, oh no not you’re not coming here with those symptoms baby and i was like ?? ok cool thanks, she said to keep watching my symptoms, slam some tylenol and if i felt shortness of breath to call or text her personal cell phone and she would get me set up at the nearest hospital i said ok sounds fucked up i mean i didn’t say that bc i was too fucked up to even speak, she also gave my mom instructions to keep me in my room, to not go near me, to give me a designated bathroom, to have food and water delivered to my door, my mom was like u dont gotta tell me twice (she has lupus) during this time my cough become dry and horrible, i could feel my lungs rattle, i would cough so hard and for so long i’d wake from my feverish coma to kneel over my bed and just let loose on the world, it felt like i was drowning, i couldn’t get enough air everything hurt, everything was sore 

3) things continued on like this for 5 straight days, i was literally in and out of consciousness, my fever got up to 102 and my mom said that if it raised at all from there we were going to the fuckin hospital and i was like listen la rona i know u wanna take me out but i havent even ever eaten a krispy kreme donut, please let me survive this i can’t leave this way, in that moment i literally had a fever dream of god herself, i said take this from me and i’ll stop being such a cunt in life. i started slamming hot toddy’s, i’d drink as much water as possible in between the time i wasnt literally trying to expel my lungs by way of my mouth

4) woke up from that whole ordeal drenched in SWEAT from my feet to my head i was soaked, it was gross, at that point i still had a sense of smell so let me tell you my last and final symptom should have kicked in a bit earlier but i checked my temp and it was normal! i didn’t feel like my head was going to explode! but i had new things going on i had a new stuffy/runny nose, my cough was producing some liquid which i proceeded to throw up into a mcdonalds cup i took a shower, i brushed my teeth, i felt like a brand new woman, i had cold like symptoms but i can live with cold like symptoms, i had an appetite for the first time in a week, felt like i could eat my whole family out of house and home given the opportunity, i’d lost 20 pounds in less than 2 weeks and ya girl was honestly, looking good but THAT’S A BAD WAY OF THINKING disregard please thank you, at this point i went into my doctor with a full on mask, gloves, hair pulled back, she gave me every test you can think of, most importantly a flu test which is all she could do since getting a test was impossible at this pint, which of course came back negative 

5) things continued like this for weeks, up until right now actually, exhaustion was gone, fever gone, cough still here and there but not like how it was, i’ve put on makeup in my room, i’ve watched every season of law and order svu, i’ve gone on drives in my car just to drive, i’ve tried to keep myself as busy as possible, 3 days ago the strangest, most inexplicable and hopefully last symptom arrived, a complete loss of smell and bc of that taste, i’ve tried smelling candles, essential oils, laundry detergent, canned meat, my brother lit a match with my back turned and asked me what the smell was, i ate extra hot cheetos, raw onions, shot of vinegar, there’s nothing there, i just hope it comes back 

during this time i haven’t been even close to my mother, who has lupus or my sister, who has asthma, i stayed in my room, i’m still in my room actually 14 full days out from the last time i left the house, one month since this whole thing started, i eat in my room, i use a different bathroom than my whole family, everyone talks to me from my door frame besides my little brother who also was sick but recovered super fast, he bleaches the bathroom after i use it, he puts all my food on single use plates, he brings me jugs of water and reminds me of what it’s like to at least talk to another person. 

on a more serious note, i haven’t touched another person in 20 days nobody has even been within 6 feet of me besides my doctor who was administering the only tests she could administer, fully decked out in a hazmat suit, she was scared for me, i could tell, she was trying to put on a brave face and downplay the severity of my symptoms but thank god for her, she’s checked up on me, she’s tried everything, she’s put in calls, she’s made herself as available as possible even though she’s probably going through the same thing with countless other patients, i worry for her, i’ve worried for my family, i’ve stressed beyond the point of no return which has for sure slowed my recovery and i was one of the lucky ones! all of this and my case was considered mild because i never really had trouble breathing beyond being choked by my own coughing. 

people have been there for me during all of this, in ways that are further reaching than touch, i have been very vocal about not liking when people touch me but i do look forward to the day i can hug my mom, where i can tell my friend to take a sip of my drink to see if she likes it, to have someone pat me on the shoulder and tell me to keep my head up or whatever 

hopefully im on the other side of this, my more at risk family members are about to be 14 days from the last time any of them were near me or my brother, they’re at the end of a long tunnel and i’m just so happy that maybe soon we’ll all see the light 

take care of yourselves

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

in too deep (part 5) - jules

jules x reader

TW: drugging

warnings: beating, homophobia, threat of death, i think that’s pretty much it??

notes: ooooohhh we’re getting closer to the end! not that i’m excited for this to end, but i’m just excited for you guys to see it

i really hope that me putting homophobia in this story doesn’t make you guys think i’m homophobic bc that’s the farthest thing from true. since i changed the gender of the mickey stand-in, i felt like it might be more interesting to add another dynamic into the story so it wasn’t just a word for word copy of the original except with a girl, bc that seems really one-dimensional to me. i feel like i need to put one of those things they have in movie credits like “the views in this film in no way reflect the views of the studio that produced it” kinda thing

also i think this may be my favorite part that i’ve written, bc if you didn’t notice, i’ve never left the reader’s perspective during the whole thing, so i had to improv a bit during the parts of the movie we didn’t get to see with mickey, and maybe i’m just a lil proud of myself :’)

******************************

for the first time since you came up with your brilliant plan to siphon the gas, you actually felt a glimmer of hope. jules was smart, she’d surely find a way out of the house; and she was damn loyal, too, so you knew there was no chance she’d leave you behind. 

sadly all those hopes were dashed when you heard the basement door creak open again. 

fuck, this whole plan was dependent on the fact that no one else came downstairs! your hands clammed up, your heart rate quickening as footsteps descended the stairs, stopping dead in their tracks once they reached the bottom. 

  “where the hell’d that little bitch go?” george roared, scanning every nook and cranny in the basement to see if jules was hiding anywhere. “answer me!”

you stayed silent, more out of fear than some sort of strategy. you quickly realized this was the wrong decision as george viciously backhanded you across the face. your head whipped to the side, eyes blinking back into focus from the impact. you felt something sticky on your lips and realized it was blood. 

  “you’re so angry,” you groaned. “why? just ‘cause you’re shooting blanks?” you pouted in mock sympathy. this sudden boost of confidence seemed to be a mistake as you saw george’s expression shift into a dangerously content one. 

  “i’m gonna rip your fuckin’ heart out.” your face dropped as he spoke. “i understand you not wantin’ to tell me where she is. in fact, if i were in your position i suppose i’d do the same. but god almighty i’m gonna watch ya’ die. i’m gonna hurt ya’.”

you were stunned into silence but you decided saying something, anything, would be better than nothing. “she’s gone, man. you just need to give it up.”

this seemed to strike a nerve in him. he turned towards you again and delivered another swift slap, knocking the wind out of you. he smacked you again, the back of your head knocking into the pole and causing your consciousness to fade for a moment. 

  “you think i’m full of hot air, don’t you? only good on roughin’ you up?” he asked rhetorically. “you know i worked as a door-to-door salesman for a few years? learned a lot, but the most important thing i learned was how to read people. and at the end of the day, you’re just an open book, sweetheart.”

the name sounded like poison dripping from his lips. it made you sick, that name belonged to jules. 

  “i know your type, believe you me, i’ve seen quite a few in my time. you see, you like to think you’re tough, strong, resilient, but at the end of the day, you just value her life above yours.” he laughed to himself. “am i right?”

he chuckled again when you didn’t answer. “that’s alright, you don’t have to answer, i know i’m right. well, you people are more loyal than i thought. guess i gotta give credit where credit’s due.”

  “fuck you.” you spat. “don’t fucking talk about her like that.” he stood up again, this time grabbing something from a shelf before making his way back to you. 

  “alright, no more pussyfootin’ around, time to get down to business.” he revealed the knife, positioning it under your ear as he prepared to slice it off. 

  “sheisn’tgoingtothecops!” you breathed out quickly, hoping he’d let you keep both ears with the statement. 

  “what? what’d you say?” he seemed caught of guard by the sudden admission, backing off of you. 

  “not yet, anyway.” you took a moment to catch your breath. “i told her to wait. yeah, we got a little meet up spot. now if i don’t show up there in an hour or so, then yeah, cops galore. you’re fucked, buddy. but, if i do show up, we just continue on our way like none of this happened.”

you took another shaky breath before you continued. “if we’re being honest here, i don’t want the cops involved any more than you do. y’know, the whole ‘not gainfully employed’ thing? the cops aren’t a huge fan of that one.”

george seemed to take this into consideration, nodding quietly to himself. “what about sweetiepie?”

  “her? i don’t give a fuck about her, she’s the whole reason i’m in this mess.” you winked at her, hoping she’d understand the message. 

george snapped the blade shut, producing the key from to the cuffs from his jacket pocket. 

------------------------------

  “any last words for this son of a bitch?” george asked gloria as he trained the pistol on you.

  “oh, i do wish you’d handled things differently. we could’ve had somethin’ beautiful here.” she smiled sadly, mourning what could’ve been. 

  “i’ll see you in hell,” george mumbled as he opened the door for you. you stepped into the doorway, only to stop dead in your tracks when you heard your girlfriend’s voice. shit.

  “stop, don’t kill her!” jules shouted from the top of the steps, baby doll in hand. “i will smash it!” she held it over the railing, dangling precariously above the hardwood flooring beneath. 

  “whew, that was close.” george laughed, closing the door behind you. “unhand my baby!” gloria whined. 

  “alright, missy, calm down. no one’s gonna get hurt.” he kept the gun aimed at your head, but gloria quickly pried it out of his hands and took a shot at jules. she crouched to shield herself from the bullet that thankfully missed, but in doing so let go of the baby that plummeted to the floor, shattering into hundreds of pieces. 

  “get your ass down here or i’ll blow her brains out!” george shouted gruffly as jules descended the staircase. she ran to you, hugging you close and helping you to stand on your injured leg. 

gloria rushed out of the room, bloody pieces of ceramic in hand as george turned back to you. “look what you gone and did. what did i do to deserve you two?”

------------------------------

  “cooking’s a zen art for my dear gloria. i’ve found there’s a method to it: the more upset she is, the bigger the dish it takes to pull her out.” george explained. “needless to say, i think the two of you just summoned up a banquet.”

the two of you had been crudely duct-taped to some chairs in the dining room, forced to listen to the stuffy dialogue between the husband and wife. “why? why do you keep her down there?” jules asked. 

  “it’s not what you think.” he looked over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t listening. “my gloria, she’s always wanted a child. unfortunately, the good lord did not have that in his plans for us. so, i had to take matters into my own hands.”

  “oh, so you kidnapped her.” jules stated bluntly. george glared at her, but continued his explanation. 

  “as you get older, things get... complicated, and i swear to god i had no ill intentions. i just wanted to make my wife happy.” he smiled. “and she was for a bit, until she started to remind her of what she couldn’t have. she asked me to make her go away, but i couldn’t bring myself do that, so the basement is our compromise.” 

  “dinner is served!” gloria announced, wheeling in a cart full of dishes of shepherd’s pie. she placed one on everyone’s plate before she sat down. they quickly said grace before digging into their food. 

  “so are you guys gonna kill us or...? what’s the deal?” jules asked matter-of-factly. you wanted to nudge her shoulder and ask her what in the hell made her so bold, but you didn’t want to cause a scene. 

  “george, you didn’t tell them?” gloria asked confusedly. “i wanted to make ‘em squirm a bit,” he smirked. 

  “t-tell us what?” you cursed yourself for stuttering but you couldn’t help it, it came out when you were anxious. 

  “we’re not gonna kill you.” george mumbled, almost sounding disappointed. “i said we’re not gonna kill ‘ya, what are you deaf?” you stifled a grin at jules, not wanting to change their decision to set you free. “we’ve decided that, despite your piss-poor behavior, the logistics of it just don’t make no sense for us.”

  “sooner or later someone’s gonna come lookin’ for you two. now, i can hide a body like the easter bunny hides an egg, but the two of you have been sweatin’, spittin’, and pissin’ all over this place.” he paused to take a sip of his drink. “anywho, i’m bound to miss a spot. i figure we have a better chance of hitting the road. we’ll give it 48 hours, tip off the police, they’ll come by and pick ya’ up. i reckon you’ll do some time for whatever the hell you two did, but at least you’ll still be drawing breath. so congratulations, you should be thankful. you just won the damn lottery.”

jules spared a glance at you as if to say, what now? “take your time eatin’ you got another couple days in those chairs.” george muttered as he took another bite of his meal. 

screw it, you thought. we’re hungry and going to jail in the next two days, what harm could a nice meal do? you both picked up your forks and knives and tucked in to the plate in front of you. you nearly let out a moan in satisfaction as the food hit your tongue. you scooped up more greedily as you had no clue if and when the next time you’d get fed would be. 

  “wait,” jules swallowed the food in her mouth. “what’s gonna happen to her?” gloria glanced over to george, waiting for the answer to the question as well.

  “well, i’m sure they’ll put her some place nice. these orphanages, i hear they’re like five-star resorts.” george answered. 

  “does that upset you?” gloria turned to jules, a smile of mock empathy on her face. “anything’s better than down there.” jules mumbled. 

  “you got a heart of gold, jules. is your full name julia?” jules nodded in response. “my mother’s name was julia. she had a good heart, too, you remind me of her.”

  “she died of cancer when i was real little. it was a slow, painful process, but i was with her every step of the way!” she grinned as her husband blew her a kiss. “the day before she died, she told me to look in the closet, that i’d find a special surprise for me in there. it was a package, wrapped up nice and pretty, with a tiny card with my name on it. she insisted i opened it, so i wiped away my tears, tore open the paper and there it was. a doll.” 

everything stilled. every sound, the scraping of cutlery on the plate, the sound of everyone breathing, even the breeze blowing through the window decided this was a nice time to take a break. 

  “she said it was a magic doll,” she continued. “that no matter how sad i became, and believe me, i became very sad, i’d always have him with me. my ethan.”

your gut instincts finally kicked in as you spat out the food that was in your mouth, the gross pile of chewed up beef and potatoes looking oddly blurry to you. jules looked equally as mortified, probably even more since she was the one who brought about the end of the magic doll. 

  “and she was right; he was magical. and you took him away from me.” she grinned her creepy stepford wife grin once more. jules mumbled something but everything sounded miles away from you as your head swam. 

  “wha-what is this?” you slurred, the bright colors of the table morphing into one another. 

  “this is a drug overdose, y/n.” he chuckled when you sluggishly turned your head towards him. “i know, i know, i fibbed about lettin’ you live, but see, you had a veritable pharmacy in that bag of yours. you two just munched down enough pills to put a bull to bed,” his voice muffled into indiscernible nonsense, though you knew he was still speaking. 

  “f-fuck you,” jules managed, still keeping her head up. you, on the other hand, were slumped over, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. 

george got up from his seat, pulling your head up by your hair. “not so tough now, are ya’?” he jested. 

jules muttered something in your defense, but as soon as your head dropped, you were down for the count; just missing the hopeful ring of the doorbell, possibly signaling you might live to see another day. 

******************************

i should probably put a link to previous parts at the top but i have no clue how to do that lol

tags: @emmyrosee​ @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @willyourecognisemee​ @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass​

[ificanthaveu]

ROMANCE REVIEW

ok so here’s me hyping up Camila for longer than anyone asked for but this album...is just so good and when she said visual I’m like yeah ok but... I SAW so many things and so many lyrics/songs reminded me of things that have happened to me and I’m like, you know what? time to overshare

TRACK 1 SHAMELESS: ok so obviously I’ve listened to this before like a million times, but when I first heard it, I was very much like... I don’t like it. and then I listened to it again and I’m like haha nevermind I was wrong (i do this all the time don’t @ me I know I suck) the way she says “shameless” with that rasp? screaming her lungs out? yeah, bitch, I feel that. I hear that. and just the whole vibe of YEAH I feel this way and WHAT ABOUT IT.

favorite lyrics: “Now that you have me, do you want me still?” “I’m tired of loving somebody that’s not mine”

TRACK 2 LIVING PROOF: Every performance of this...makes me love it more and more. The choir singing hallelujah...gave me the VISUALS bc ya girl grew up Catholic, and I couldn’t help but imagine that Easter day where everyone is praising and saying hallelujah and it’s just such a pure JOY. and with the God references and “being sent to save me” just getting major church vibes. AND her high notes in the chorus...we stan a queen with TALENT. I love how she references hands a few times because I just love when you can communicate something just through touch. I think that is truly the deepest form of knowing someone. 

favorite lyrics: “Tell me something, but say it with your hands, slow” “Show your demons, and I might show you mine, one at a time”

TRACK 3 SHOULD’VE SAID IT: ok now I’m just going to sit here with my jaw dropped open because SIS said what we’ve been saying for SO LONG. The theme of “change” is so strong in this, and I just love how she portrays it. And her talking about the songs not sounding the same...she’s literally like yeah I get you wrote songs about me, but have you heard of imessage? a phone? But this is the kind of song that I want to scream at the top of my lungs and dance to in my living room, but, alas, I cannot relate. I can’t get one person to love me, how tf would I get 2? And the way she says “so sorry” like she...is not sorry. and I LOVE IT and it just really drives the point across, like, I’ve moved on, you didn’t say anything. 

favorite lyrics: “baby, he fell from grace, landed right in your place” “I wish you could turn back time, and hold me closer, instead of your pride” (OUCH BABY YES SING IT)

TRACK 4 MY OH MY: catch me shakin my ass to this till I die. I just love the FEEL of this. and her YELLING “I swear on my life that I’ve been a good girl” and the “Tonight I don’t wanna be her” like yes bitch let her be BAD for a night baby you GO GIRL. Listen, I will never get sick of the falling for a bad boy narrative. Sign me the fuck up, every damn time. Like, yeah? I’ve been good, time to be bad bitch. and her LAUGHS during the rap. I love her wow. The chorus is just so CATCHY. It’s just sooo bad boy narrative, my parents don’t like him, not being a good girl for the night, and again, always a hoe for that. ALWAYS.

favorite lyrics: “I said, if he kissed me, I might let it happen” “She know I’m a call away, she can drop a pin and I’d come meet her” 

TRACK 5 SENORITA: I’ve talked about this 5 million times, but I’m a proud mom so here we go again! The fact that they collabed again, was enough to fuel me for years, bc my prime was during IKWYDLS. What a good era. This song makes me feel DAMN SEXY. I want every song to make me feel this way. every time they say “oh la la” just send me to my grave. and shawn’s “call” during the chorus...speechless still. I love a good friends to lovers (in song and IRL we love that for them). I just love the aspect of yeah it’s hard to leave you but every time we touch just reminds me that this is all worth it. AGAIN with the TOUCH being just the most intimate way of knowing someone. 

favorite lyrics: “her body fit right in my hands” “you say we’re just friends, but friends don’t know the taste” “cause you know it’s been a long time coming, don’t you let me fall” 

TRACK 6 LIAR: this bb was my fave when it came out with shameless. I LOVE the whole theme of I said one thing but now you’re changing my mind and making me seem like a liar. I also love the trumpets. I love a good trumpet in a song if it’s used well. AND with the whole, yeah I’m a liar, and what about it? I like clapping along to the bridge in the car. and then fuckin dancing to the chorus. peep me screaming this in my car all the gah damn time. also, the lying to yourself? the worst kind. and this song just being the RECOGNIZATION of yeah... I am lying to myself. you KNOW? like that “oh fuck” feeling, like you’ve been denying it and denying it and denying it and finally you’re just like...oh shit. and then you just fuckin GO FOR IT because you realize it now and now we’re making up for lost time. and then the final “cause my clothes are on the floor” jaw DROP first time hearing that like yes baby. and I usually skip instrumentals at the end of songs bc I usually think they’re stupid and pointless ope but THIS is the only one I don’t skip because it’s too damn catchy

favorite lyrics: “I don't care, it's been too long, It's kinda like we didn't happen” “but what if you kiss me, and what if I like it?” 

TRACK 7 BAD KIND OF BUTTERFLIES: my heart hurts, honestly. like in that first chorus where she’s like you’re going to hate me after you find this out. just BREAKS me. it’s just very stuck between a rock and a hard place. she wasn’t going to win this fight. it was going to hurt no matter what she decided. she was going to hurt someone she cared about no matter what she chose. the way she says “tonight” with that note run yes baby yes. and like living proof, I love the high note chorus. and the way she says “the bad kind of butterflies like when you have something to hide” like I FELT that shit. those kinds of butterflies are the freaking WORST when you just know you have to tell someone about something because it’s just eating you alive. her voice just perfectly portrays the feeling this song encapsulates. 

favorite lyrics: “don’t look at me while I’m breaking” “I understand if you hate me” “I know I said we were friends and when I said that, I meant it, somewhere between now and then it became more than just a friendship”

TRACK 8 EASY: out of her songs that came out before the album was released, this was my favorite. just...i get so speechless and I have no words, it’s just so beautiful. like having someone who loves you, who sees your flaws, and doesn’t freaking care. like that first verse is like “yeah we both know I got flaws but you love me anyway.” and the whole thing of really, really knowing someone and really, really loving them is just so damn heartwarming. and feeling hard to love? yeah, Camila, I GET THAT. someone find me a man who feels this way about me. and just having someone...who loves you...until you can love yourself... I want one. and again with the TOUCHING, I see a theme here baby and I’ll talk more on that later. that bridge just freaking hits me and when she sang this on SNL I could just SEE how much this song meant to her and she looked so content singing it. 

favorite lyrics: “You tell me that you'd rather fight than spend a single peaceful night with somebody else” “tell me with your hands that you’re never leaving” “All I know is you saved me and you know it” 

TRACK 9 FEEL IT TWICE: this...hurt me. because this is my worst fear. like having someone fall for you, and you don’t feel it, and then suddenly to be in love with them and for them to be like I’m sorry but I don’t feel that way anymore. and I just love that this one is a lot less of “you fucked up” like should’ve said it and more like “I hate that things had to happen this way and I don’t want to hurt you but I can’t do anything else.” it’s heart-wrenching. and just WISHING that this wasn’t the case, but it’s just how it is. because that’s how love works. you can’t force it if it isn’t there anymore or was never there at all. and keeping the distance because there’s nothing else you can do and it’s the only option because there’s just this tension no matter what you do. because it’s there no matter what. and the PARALLEL of “how can I be your friend when I know the way you taste” and “but friends don’t know the way you taste” in senorita makes me think that she was writing this song while she was writing senorita and that’s why she added it in later. but pertaining to my life... I don’t relate because I feel everything like 8 million times and I catch feelings for anyone who looks at me and I go back and forth on crushes all the time (there are like 5 coming to my head rn wow I am the worst).

favorite lyrics: “Oh, I'm scared if I look in your eyes, I might see your soul, I know love is the loneliest place when you fall alone” “Sitting by the phone, holding onto hope” “I can feel you still staring at me when I look away” “I don't know what's worse, getting broken or making it break” (it’s hard to pick favorites for this one WHOOPS) 

TRACK 10 DREAM OF YOU: I like the music in this one a LOT. I feel this shit in my SOUL. and “he’s a right answer” reminded me of the most recent episode of The Good Place (iykyk). also, I don’t know WHY but I love the line with “a confessed sinner” bc, again, ya girl grew up Catholic. he got that post confession GLOW. that “I just got everything off my chest, and I feel GREAT.” and this one, with all she’s doing all day, is dreaming of him, yeah I am a hardcore daydreamer. so that’s me hello. and the transition of “I dream of you” to “I dream with you”...take my heart and throw it at a wall. the DESPERATION in “please say you dream of me too” like PLEASE tell me this is mutual because you literally take up all my time so please tell me you feel the same way. 

favorite lyrics: “And you squeeze my hands two times, three times” “I was not living, I was just writing about it” (this is me a lot and I feel attacked)

TRACK 11 CRY FOR ME: this high key reminds me of “Dead” by Madison Beer. but anyways. it’s so SASSY and I LOVE IT. I just love the feeling of someone moving on first, and then the other person moving on, and then the first person being like oh shit what you moved on what. like just wanting someone to HURT because what the FUCK? like why do you gotta do this bro? and just the yeah I know I shouldn't feel this way but fuck it. and I love that just lie to me. like you know what, tell me you miss me, so I can feel good about this. and the screaming in “HOW CAN YOU BE OK” like BITCH I’m HURTING so CRY PLEASE

favorite lyrics: “You said that, in this lifetime, you could never get over me? Are you over me?” “see her lips erasing me” 

TRACK 12 THIS LOVE: this is one of my favorites. I love how it’s soft? but also, not soft at all. like FUCK this love. the building walls just to watch them fall? like yes, sis I just wrote a poem about this a few months ago bc it is me. like that person, you built walls up before and they just keep knocking them down. and then you regret it, every time and build them up again (s/o to my shit middle school friend yike) and just the feeling of getting pulled in this cycle over and over again. you can just HEAR the desperation in her voice in parts of this and I love when you can hear that. I also like the use of “maybe” like this love is fucking hell but maybe don’t let me go just yet but on the other hand, maybe you should. AND ending with the “here I go again” just yeah stab me in the heart. 

favorite lyrics: “Waiting for you just in case one day it doesn’t hurt” “get out of my veins” “If you need your space, then just walk away”

TRACK 13 USED TO THIS: pull out your tissues ladies. I was most excited about this one, and she PULLED THROUGH and lived up to my expectations. I’m always a sucker for the whole vibe of “I hated this place but now I have this special memory there and now I love it.” the transformation from hate to love in so many ways. to find a person who does that, it just doesn’t happen a lot. now time to unnecessarily connect it to my life but not really because ladies and gents, I fell for my best friend. he was the most amazing guy ever. and he was my best friend and suddenly it was like...oh fuck. and the line about whispering his name differently and can’t you hear it? just reminded me of him right away. because of that FEELING of seeing them and knowing you have these feelings and being like...can you hear the change in my voice? (he didn’t btw. that was sad. this song will be “what could've been” for me. lol. bye). and the “feeling” with that touching again HELLO. and the drink clinks in the background love that. friends to lovers? yeah, sign me the fuck up. and I love the use of “definitely” like that hesitation of yeah it’s going to take me a sec but I’m DEFINITELY getting used to this. 

favorite lyrics: “No, I never liked San Francisco, never thought it was nothing special till you kissed me there” “It's the strangest feeling, midnight, I'm not leaving, no, for once, I think I'll stay" “I say your name, just listen, doesn't it sound different? Never whispered it this way” “And the calluses on your fingers, I admire them from a distance, now they're on my cheek” “oh, I've known you forever, now I know you better” “let’s get carried away” (i should’ve just copied and pasted the whole song I’m in love)

TRACK 14 FIRST MAN: ok. I know I said grab your tissues. but here’s where you really need them. when I say I sobbed, I freaking MEAN IT. like I was getting ready for school this morning at 6 am while listening to the album and it was only me and my dad awake and this just hit me so hard. I’m super close with my dad, so I really really feel this. Once the song was done, I went and found him and I was still crying and he’s like WHATS WRONG and I gave him a hug and I tried to explain what it was about and he’s like yeah no won’t listen to it. going to cry. then I texted him later and he listened and you bet my father cried as hard as I did. he literally said he was in the bathroom trying to compose himself (spoiler, my scary dad is soft af but don’t tell anyone and expose him. literally the other night i said i probably cry every day and he said yeah me too). it’s so soft, and just, yes this is happening, but that doesn’t mean I’m cutting you out of my life. like this man is everything you ever wanted for me, and I know this is damn hard, but it’s going to be worth it. and the transition of spending all the time with family to spending time with this man you want a future with. and like y’all know that breaks a parent’s heart but at the same time, it’s all they want for you. and the progression of just being with that guy and then to the wedding day. and the part where he says she’ll always be his little girl. ugh, this whole song is my dad and I love it and hate it because the amount of tears I’ve cried today is unhealthy. and in general, I just love how soft this is and you can just hear the love in her voice. I’m crying again hi. s/o to the good dads out there, and if you don’t have one, you can share mine. I genuinely cannot listen to this song without crying, yet I’ve listened to it like 6 times today. this song means so much to me and I honestly want it to be my father-daughter dance at my wedding,

favorite lyrics: “And I found someone I really like, maybe for the first time” “You held me so tight, now someone else can, but you were the first man that really loved me” “Now you're driving to the airport, not just me you pick up anymore” “You're looking at me while walking down the aisle, with tears in your eyes, maybe he deserves me, You don't even know how much it means to me now”

FINAL THOUGHTS 1) I AM SO HAPPY WITH THE WHOLE ALBUM. I love all of these songs so much, and they’re all so VISUAL just like she said they were going to be. I love when you can see a song. That is just so damn powerful.

2) THE THEME OF TOUCHING. guys, I am O B S E S S E D with this. like I said before, I think it is such a RARE form of intimacy and love for someone when you can communicate something with a touch. Like that hand on the shoulder or on your back or knee or whatever. but just KNOWING what they’re saying. I love how she addressed it multiple times and you see it weaved into so many songs of that touch communication.

3) I saw this on twitter, and I think it was part of an official review or something. But the journey of “hey I’m falling in love and here are the trials and tribulations of it” and then ending with “I can feel this way because you taught me” is just...so amazing and powerful. 

COME TELL ME YOUR OPINIONS, THOUGHTS, THEORIES LETS CHAT ABOUT IT I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS

[mxliv-oftheendless]

Since you sent me two allow me to return the favor! How about a Gang AU with Vinnie and Bethie~?

(Okay, this was a bit confusing at first, bc I couldn’t think of anything to write. But then Shandi told me what she had in mind, and HOLY SHIT THAT’S A GREAT IDEA! Please enjoy this AU of the Starchild Assassin! Also this is really fucking long and I apologize. Enjoy anyway! And please send in more prompts!)

Vinnie kicked and struggled as the four men who’d jumped him dragged him out of the car and into the house. “Let me go! You fucking—”

“Ah!” one of them took out a gun and pressed it to Vinnie’s back. “That’s enough lip outta you, pretty boy. You’re gonna keep quiet while we bring ya to the boss. Understand?” 

Vinnie went silent at the feel of the gun barrel pressing between his shoulder blades. He could escape, maybe even kill them all on the way. He could then get back to Petey and tell him what happened. Whoever their boss was, Petey would make them pay. 

But at the same time... this house looked familiar. He knew this house. 

“Vinnie, please don’t leave me! Come back!” 

A flash of guilt came and went as the pleading voice echoed in his ears, and Vinnie found himself going still. The one with the gun nodded. “Good. Now move it.” 

Vinnie fell into step as he was half-guided half-dragged into the house. 

“What’s the boss even want with ‘im, anyway?” another one asked. 

“Shut up, Lou, ya know you’re not supposed to ask questions,” snapped the third. 

“I heard he’s the trophy fuck o’ the Brooklyn Wildcat,” the fourth commented. Vinnie felt the urge to hit him. He was not a trophy fuck. 

They brought him up the stairs and down a hallway, and finally came to a door. The third one knocked, and after a moment a female voice called out. “Who is it?” 

Vinnie’s eyes widened. That voice... it was so familiar. But where had he heard it before? 

“Delivery for ya, boss,” the first one called. “We got that package you’ve been waitin’ to get.” 

“Which one?” 

“The one that got intercepted by the Wildcat.” 

Another pause. Then: “Bring it in.” 

The third one opened the door, and the first one nudged Vinnie to go inside. It was a medium-sized study, with purple carpet on the floors and a large oak desk, with bookshelves lining the walls. Two windows were on either side of the desk that overlooked the street. And seated in the chair was a young woman in her mid twenties, wearing a nice shirt and blazer with her brown hair up in a bun. She looked up as the five of them came inside, and her eyes immediately met Vinnie’s. 

Vinnie froze, his eyes going wide and his jaw slack. It couldn’t be... but it was... 

Beth.

They stared at each other for a moment, then Beth’s eyes went to the one with the gun. Her eyes narrowed. “Mario. Are you pointing a gun at his back?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “Put it away. We’re not savages here.” 

The man, Mario, sheepishly took his gun away from Vinnie’s back and put it away. “Sorry, boss,” 

“You’re forgiven.” Beth stood up from her desk. “Thank you, boys. That’ll be all for now.” She waved for them to leave. “You can leave now.” 

“Ya sure you don’t need anything else, Ms. Caringi?” Caringi? When did she change her name?

“No, thank you, Louie.” 

The four men turned and left the room, leaving the two cousins alone. Vinnie couldn’t stop staring at her. She’d been only eight when he ran away, scrawny and small, always clad in oversized sweaters and following him around like she was his shadow. But now... she was much older, wearing clothes that fit, and stood tall and confident like she was born to be the way she was. 

“B-Beth?” it fell from his mouth before he could stop it. He just couldn’t believe he was seeing her again. 

Beth smiled. “Hi, Vinnie,” 

Vinnie couldn’t stop his legs from moving, and he ran to her and hugged her tightly. Beth hugged him back. “Sorry about Mario, by the way, he’s kind of impulsive. He’s trying to stop, though. And, sorry for kidnapping you. I just had to see you, and I didn’t know what else to do...” 

“I-It’s fine, I just,” he pulled back so he could look at her, holding her shoulders. “I can’t believe it’s you... You’re so big... What’s going on? Why did they call you “boss”? A-And why is your surname Caringi now?” 

“I’m... Well, Papa died, a couple years ago. And in his will, he named me his successor. I’m the head of the family now. And to make it official, I changed my name to Caringi.” 

“Oh... How did everyone take it?” It was surprising; he’d never heard of a woman running a mafia family. 

Beth frowned a bit. “Some of our asshole cousins tried to stage a coup. Said they should be the ones to run the family instead of a little girl.” She smirked a bit. “I showed them who’s boss. They’re decomposing in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean right now.” 

Vinnie smiled, then sniffed as tears stung his eyes. Beth noticed, and frowned in concern. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, just...” he hugged her. “I’m so happy to see you again. I-I’m sorry I left you behind...” 

Beth shook her head. “You don’t have to apologize. If you stayed, you probably would have been killed. What matters is, you’re here, and we can be family again.” 

The happiness faded at that. “You mean... I’m staying?” 

“If you want to, yeah,” 

He could stay here, stay with Beth... but Petey… Vinnie began to pull away, shaking his head. “N-No, I—I couldn’t do that to Petey…” 

For some reason, Beth frowned. “Vinnie...” Then she sighed. “Fine. But at least wait until tomorrow morning to decide. It’s late, and I don’t know about you, but sleep sounds great right now.” 

Vinnie felt the urge to ask for her to let him go back to Peter now. He’d be furious when he found Vinnie missing, and he’d come after Beth when he found out what happened. But if Vinnie went back now, then maybe he’d listen to reason. “I-I really should—”

“Please?” And there was the look. The innocent Bambi eyes. 

Vinnie’s heart clenched at the look. How many times had he wished he could see that look again? “... M-Maybe, Maybe I could stay the night...” 

Beth smiled. “Great. Let’s go get you set up in a room.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Smashing, thumps, and muffled shouting was what woke Beth from sleep. Almost immediately she was awake and alert, and got out of bed, grabbing the Ruger handgun she kept under her pillow. She put on her house shoes and went for the door, listening to the shouts. It all belonged to one voice, an older-sounding voice. The other one sounded like it was crying, and Beth recognized it immediately. Vinnie. 

Her blood boiled in her veins, and she wrenched open the door, going out into the hallway and meeting Vincenzo and Luigi, who were guarding her door. “You two,” she ordered, “with me.” 

The two of them fell into step on either side of her. “What’s goin’ on, boss?” Luigi questioned. 

“Well from the sounds of things, it seems a mangy cat’s broken into the house. But it’s not going to get what it came for.” 

As they neared, Vinnie’s room, the voices grew louder. 

“—tey, please, I didn’t mean to—”

“You think I’m gonna believe what you got to say?! I make you who you are and this is how you fuckin’ thank me?! By whoring yourself out to this new fucker?! You fuckin’ slut!” 

“I-It’s not like that, I—ah!” A cry of pain. 

“SHUT UP! You’re gonna shut the FUCK UP and come back with me. You don’t belong to this fucker, understand?! You belong to me!” 

Beth frowned darkly, and turned to Vincenzo. “Vincenzo, go get Mario and Louie.” As he ran off, she turned to Luigi and nodded. “Do it.” 

Luigi nodded, then kicked open the door. He ran inside and pointed his gun. “Drop your gun!” 

At that moment, Vincenzo returned with Mario and Louie, and they ran in to join him inside the room. “Who the fuck d’you motherfuckers think you’re talkin’ to?!” Beth heard the voice shout. 

She took that as her cue, and strolled in, working to keep her voice calm. “Well, from the looks of things, I’d say we’re talking to the Brooklyn Wildcat. Peter Criss, isn’t it?” 

When she saw what was going on, it became harder to keep herself in check. Peter was holding Vinnie against the wall, a hand firmly keeping him in place by his hair. Vinnie was shaking, crying quietly with tears streaming down his face. There was also a bruise forming on his cheek. 

Peter glared at her. “Who the fuck are you?!” 

“Smarter than you,” Beth fired back. “Coming here all by yourself, with no guards?” She shook her head, tut-tutting. “Unprofessional. And stupid. But anyway, I’m the “new fucker,” as you so eloquently put it.” 

A look of surprise flashed across his face, before hardening. “No fuckin’ way. There’s no way Bennie Caringi would croak and make a fuckin’ kid in charge.” 

Beth shrugged flippantly. “Well, that’s what happened. Now, if you wouldn’t mind,” she brandished her handgun, “get your filthy hands off of Vinnie, and get the fuck out of my house.” 

Vinnie’s eyes widened and he shook his head fearfully at Beth. Peter looked furious. “Like hell I’m gonna do that. He’s mine, and I’m taking him back.” 

“Wow, referring to him like he’s property. Wow.” Beth shook his head. “And here I thought you’d be willing to talk this out like a civilized person.” 

“Get in the know, honey: I ain’t civil.” 

“Clearly. You break into my house, smack around my cousin and call him a slut, insult my authority, and refuse to negotiate. Well... I guess there’s only one option left.” 

“Oh yeah, and what’s that? Gonna ask your bodyguards to do it all for ya, little girl?” 

Wow. Beth raised an eyebrow. He might as well have been begging her to do it. 

Without a word, Beth lowered her gun and fired, the bullet going right into Peter’s stomach. He howled in pain and stumbled back, letting go of Vinnie as he did. Vinnie scrambled away from him and clung tightly to Beth, shaking and crying into her shoulder. “Are you okay?” she asked quietly. He nodded into her shoulder. “Good. You can sleep with me tonight if you want.” After a pause, Vinnie nodded again. 

“You... You fuckin’ little tramp!” Peter yelled from the floor, glaring at Vinnie. “You can’t fuckin’ do this to me, Baby Doll!” 

Beth felt Vinnie tense against her, and glared at Peter. “That’s enough outta you. Boys?” 

The four of them lowered their guns and went over to Peter. Vincenzo and Mario hauled him up. 

“Take him to the... special warehouse, boys,” Beth ordered. “And make sure he can’t escape. Break his legs if you have to. We’ll deal with him in the morning.” 

As soon as the five of them left, Peter screaming obscenities at both of them as he was dragged away, Beth gently guided Vinnie out of the room to hers. Vinnie wouldn’t let go of her, clinging to her pajamas and keeping his head bent, his shoulders shaking with sobs. It made Beth angrier. Oh, Peter Criss was definitely going to get a slow death for this. 

But she would deal with it in the morning. For now, she was going to get Vinnie back to sleep. 

She let Vinnie get comfortable in bed, then got back into bed herself. And almost immediately, Vinnie hugged her tightly again, pressing his face to her shoulder. “I’m s-so s-sorry,” he sobbed. “I’m sorry...” 

Beth hugged him. “It’s okay, Vinnie. It’s not your fault.” 

“I sh-should have g-gone back...” 

“The same thing would have happened, Vinnie.” 

“N-No... y-you don’t know that.” 

“I do. And I think you know it too.” 

Vinnie lifted his head and gazed at her. Then misery overtook his face again and he sobbed. He knew she was right. “I thought he loved me,” he cried. 

Beth let him cry into her shoulder, rubbing his back. “I know... But he’s gone. He’ll be gone forever when we’re through with him. He won’t touch you again.” 

“W-Why?” 

“Why what?” 

“W-Why would you do that... f-for me?”

Beth looked him right in the eye. “Because you’re my family. Family doesn’t abandon each other. And they certainly don't let them get slapped around by some Brooklyn asshole.” 

“B-But I abandoned you,” Vinnie argued. “I l-left you behind. I d-don’t deserve—”

“I don’t care,” Beth stressed. She squeezed Vinnie’s hand. “I don’t care that you left. You’re here now, and if you want, you don’t have to leave ever again. Because you’re my family, and I love you.” 

More tears rolled down his face, and Vinnie sniffled. “I love you too, Bethie,” 

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Truth Pt. 8

Master List: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Request:

What’s up sug! sorry you’re struggling right now but I’ve come to help you If you could bring this to light for me I’d absolutely love for YOU TO DO JT So basically Bucky X Enhanced reader who are fuckin enemies. Hate each other to every last fiber of their beings bc Bucky is rude and she calls him out on it. AnywHs, they get drunk, truth or dare (go crZy baby) and LOTS LF dirty talk if u wanna do smut but if u don’t then buck taking care of her while she’s drunk cause she admitted her feelings

Pairing: Bucky X Reader (Enhanced)

Summary: Since The Avengers gave you a home the only blight has been Bucky Barnes, a ghost from your past that you can’t seem to shake. It makes you hate him. The feeling, it seems, is mutual. But… a simple game reveals that maybe things aren’t quite so simple. (Post Winter Soldier AU)

Warnings: References to past violence

A/N: I don’t know what to say about this one. It’s stressful, and soft, and... yeah. 

Hope y’all like this one!

Tags are open!

“Sargent Barnes, Mr. Stark, and the others are on their way here,” Jarvis says softly.

Bucky grimaces and looks down at you curled into a tight ball next to him breathing softly. It took about 30 seconds for you to drift off after you laid your head on his chest. You need this rest, desperately, so the thought of waking you pains him but it has to happen.

“Doll,” he gives your right hand a squeeze and kisses your head, “you have to wake up.” You groan a little and shift, “Come on, we’ll get this over with and you can sleep all you want.” He’d make damn sure of that.

Sitting up you rub your eyes, “How long was I out?”

“Just about fifteen minutes.” He reaches for your mug, “Here.”

“Thanks,” you take a huge gulp and go to get up for more.

“I got it,” Bucky plucks the mug from your grip.

“I can-” you begin to protest.

“Hush,” he says, “you’re a guest let me fill your mug.” As he’s pouring Jarvis announces the arrival of the team.

He meets your gaze from across the apartment. You look worried for an instant, unsure. He’s pretty sure he feels the same. But still, you nod strongly, ready to face whatever came.

“Let them in, Jarvis.”

Everyone flows in as he hands you the mug and takes his spot next to you once more. He knows it’s bad hosting etiquette, his ma would have a fit at him for not rising to greet guests or making them their drinks. It doesn’t matter. They aren’t his priority right now and he knows, it’s a power move.

Steve’s the first one in, “Coffee?” He asks.

“Yup, carafe full in the kitchen, help yourselves.”

Natasha is after Steve and she casts a worried look at Y/N who is refusing to lift her eyes from the coffee table, hands white-knuckled around her mug. Bucky gives her knee a reassuring squeeze and she looks at him with a halfhearted smile. Even that sends his heart fluttering a bit.

No one says anything as they fill their mugs and find a seat. Natasha takes the spot next to you on the couch. You turn to her. Bucky catches the warm smile she offers you and hears the whispered, “I got your back.” The loose bun on top of your head bobs as you nod in acknowledgment of her statement and your eyes focus back on the table.

He notices your right hand gripping your knee, small sparks just visible under the surface of your skin. Uncaring he takes your hand in his metal one. To his surprise you take it, holding tight enough to break a regular human's delicate bones there. For him though, it feels reassuring.

Tony sits across from you in one of the dining chairs and Steve is in the large chair to Bucky’s right, where he always is when he’s over. Everyone else but Thor is here, having had to leave a few days prior for some god business or other.

Bucky hears Tony take a breath as if about to speak but he’s interrupted by Sam.

“Hold up,” he lifts a hand in the air and gestures to the two of you on the couch, “I obviously missed something. Didn’t you threaten to kill him the other day?” Anger flashes through Bucky and he glares at Sam. You however just let out a little laugh.

“Sharp aren’t ya?” You quip and Sam’s face softens in a look that’s almost relief. He is your friend, after all, Bucky reminds himself.

“You owe me,” Clint whispers loudly at Natasha and she rolls her eyes. Another giggle comes from you and Bucky feels like he’s the one missing something now.

Sighing Tony dives in, “Sam does have a point there. You did threaten to kill a team member, Y/N, that’s a pretty serious issue.”

“I deserved it,” Bucky says staring Tony down.

“Oh?”

Your hand squeezes his and he continues, “I made a bad call. Would have gotten myself killed and probably everyone in range too. Y/N, made a better call. I behaved like an ass after. So any repercussions should be on me, not her.”

Steve snorts, “This isn’t the army, pal.” Bucky looks at his best friend, leaning forward in the chair smiling a half smile at the two of you. “No one’s going to get court marshaled. And this sure as shit isn’t Hydra, no one is going to be punished. We just need to know what happened.”

“And what exactly you were all up against down there,” Tony takes a sip of the coffee and gives an approving nod toward the cup before continuing. “Nat and Steve said… well that whatever came at you was-”

“Like me,” you finish the statement, voice hollow.

Tony nods, “Not that we even know exactly what like you means, Y/N. Plus there were the two other…”

“Assets,” Bucky whispers, the word leaving a bitter taste on his tongue.

“Yeah. Three seemingly high investments left alone? What’s that about?” Everyone is staring at the two of you waiting for an answer.

Bucky takes a deep breath. “That was an Asset Facility. It’s where… where they work on special projects as they call them. Where they make-”

“Weapons,” your voice again is devoid of any emotion. He looks at you a second before continuing.

“They likely got wind of our surveillance somehow and abandoned ship. Knew the project wouldn’t survive anyway and the other two assets were expendable puppets, not a high investment like…” He almost said like us but the words won’t come out. They all seem to understand anyway.

“We found the woman, the… project,” Tony grimaces a bit at the dehumanizing term, “and another corpse that was…”

“Incinerated…” you say. Bucky looks at you, he wasn’t aware of this.

“So you saw that one too?” Tony leans back in his chair. You nod. “Did one attack the other or?” You shake your head, eyes focused on the coffee in your left hand, grip tightening on his hand.

“No…” your hand trembles and he’s about to demand they all leave when you keep going, “they… it… I guess the best way to put it is spontaneous combustion. They burned themselves out. Alone. In that cell.” It’s the last bit that sucks the air out of the room, each person imagining what that kind of death would have been like.

Bruce clears his throat, fingers toying with a loose thread on his cardigan, “We, uh, did an autopsy on the woman.” You don’t look at him, just nod. “Her internal organs were… almost…” He clears his throat again trying to find the words to make the horrific more palatable and coming up empty, “Cooked, basically. She was burned from the inside out. There was no way she would have survived much longer in that state.”

Something like a hollow laugh comes from you, “Yeah. Call it a mercy killing if you want.”

“What we want is to know how someone in that condition could pose such a threat.” Tony’s tone is matter of fact, not aggressive, but it rankles Bucky’s nerves either way.

“You saw what she did to Steve,” it still made Bucky shiver, thinking of Steve being hurt.

“True,” Tony nods, “but you can’t tell me that you two couldn’t have handled that faster or-”

“She was going to blow,” your voice is surprisingly steady.

Bucky’s eyes shoot to you, “Don’t.” Your gaze slowly meets his. The two of you should have spoken about this earlier, should have worked out a plan.

“They need to know,” the look in your eyes feels like a knife in his belly. You’re terrified. He feels your hand release a bit but he refuses to let go. Taking a deep shaky breath you go for it.

“Like me, is a complicated thing to quantify… I don’t even really know how I do what I do or exactly how they made this happen. But at some level I’m…” You shudder and squeeze his hand, “I’m basically a human-shaped atomic bomb.”

Silence hangs as you gather your thoughts. “This… ability can be overloaded, pushed to a point that the energy will release all at once with enough force… well, I don’t actually know how much. I’m still here so that obviously hasn’t been tested. And she…” You're shaking all over now.

Bucky takes over, “There’s a tell. Bright pulsing, all over the body, one solid light. The project did that. We both knew what that meant in context to Y/N.” He glances at you and notices a tendril of light snaking up the side of your neck, “I made the call to hold the project off until Y/N could get the others to safety. The more I could distract her the less time it would take to blow. A gunshot or too much physical contact could cause it to go off too. It was a… delicate situation.”

“So how did you…?” Natasha says softly.

“She lashed out at Bucky, I took the blow like I had earlier, redirected her own energy back at her straight through her heart. I hope-”

“Wait…” Tony’s brows are knit. “You’re telling me you have the capacity to… overload?! And you don’t actually know what the consequences of that could be? So anytime you could just snap and kill everyone in range, Y/N?!

“That’s enough, Tony,” Bucky knows murder is dripping from each syllable.

“No. It’s not,” he slams his mug down. “That’s putting not only this team but innocent civilians at risk every time, all the time, you’re-”

“I’m not like her,” your voice is barely above a whisper, tremors visibly shaking your body. “I’m. Not.” You look up and meet Tony’s furious stare, “I have control. For whatever reason, I was able to contain this. I wouldn’t… I’d never… hurt any of you…” Your eyes dart around the room, frantically, begging someone to believe you. Bucky does, though he knows that control is… a relative term.

“I know,” Natasha lays a reassuring hand on your left thigh. “We know,” she flashes a murderous look at Tony.

“Wanting and doing aren’t always the same thing,” Tony says sighing. “Sorry, I’m not attacking you I’m just… thrown.” Your lips are pursed trying to keep your composure. Bucky catches Natasha’s worried look over your hunched shoulders.

“I can handle her,” Bucky’s voice is gruff. He hates saying this.

“What does that mean,” Sam’s gaze is cold.

“It means I can keep her from doing anything she can’t live with.” Sam just shakes his head and looks away, anger clear. Good, Bucky liked that Sam hated the thought of that almost as much as he did.

“But you couldn’t handle the one in the facility?” Tony again, isn’t trying to be an ass but that’s how it seems to Bucky.

“Not in the same way…” Fuck, he doesn’t know if you know exactly how he can handle you but… well, now you would. “It’s… there’s trigger words.” Your head shoots to him. Great, so you didn’t know. “Somehow they redirect the energy inside and cause…” He swallows hard, unable to say it, looking down at your hand still somehow confidently gripping his.

“Like the one in the cell?” Clint asks, voice soft. Bucky nods.

Tony lets out a long sigh and looks to Steve, begging him to take control of the situation.

Finally, Steve speaks. “How many more of you are there, Y/N?”

You stare at him for a long minute, “I didn’t know there were any." Bucky feels you begin to shake again. “As far as I knew I was the only one. They stopped when it worked with me. Even then…”

He remembered them complaining. Wipes lasted shorter times on you, the chair wasn’t as effective likely due to your own energy, making you difficult to control. Because of that, you were only brought out to the field for very select ops and often with not only a handler but the Soldier in tow.

“Why would they make more of you now?” Steve’s tone is measured, he can tell you’re shaken and he’s trying to be gentle. Bucky appreciates him silently. He’s worried you’re about to break but you take a deep breath, steadying yourself, this question seems to somehow bring you back to center.

“Why not? If they have the means a human-shaped bomb… that’s a statement maker. After everything it’s possible what’s left of Hydra is in the mood to make just such a statement.”

[Reader]

Nail meet head.

Everyone falls into a heavy silence. They’re either looking anywhere but you or right at you. The weight of your statement weighing on each individual.

You’d been thinking this over since the mission. It’s been one of the few things you could focus on with any accuracy. Setting your coffee down you hold your left hand up you watch the tiny points of light glow under your skin.

“I don’t really know how they did it…” Solid threads of light glow up your fingers, “All I know is it took years.” Natasha shifts next to you, the thought of that making her uncomfortable, Bucky gives your right-hand a reassuring squeeze. You hadn’t spoken of this… ever. “Years, trial and error… and a whole hell of a lot of pain. Unless they were working on them before, and I doubt it, they’re rushing this.”

“So their chances of success are slim,” Tony says, relief in his tone almost hopeful.

You cast him a dark gaze, “Their chances of repeating me are slim. Even more so without some form of the serum but…”

“They don’t need to repeat you to make a statement,” Natasha says next to you. You nod in agreement.

“All they have to do is place some half baked human bombs in key locations and people will start looking at high profile enhanced individuals with distrust.” You look around the room, “More distrust than they already do that is…” It was Hydra’s way. Indirect control.

Tony lets out a loud breath and gets up. He paces around the room a few times while your words sink into everyone.

“Ok,” Bruce huffs out. All eyes shift to him. “They’re trying to replicate you as best they can, given their limited resources. That means you’re the best lead we’ve got.” He pauses looking over at Tony, “We’ve been wanting to… examine your abilities for a while-”

“She’s not a science experiment,” Steve snaps. Bucky looks over at him, a pleased smile on his face.

“Of course not,” Bruce hold up his hands. “We never said anything because we wanted to give Y/N time to settle in here.” Tony slumps back in his chair.

“Look,” Tony leans forward, elbows on his knees, “we would never do something without your consent but… Y/N, you gotta throw us a bone here. We don’t even know what we’re dealing with when it comes to you and now this-”

“This is-” Bucky’s tone and the tremor in his hand says he’s about to go off, you cut him off.

“I’m down.”

“Y/N…” Bucky turns to you, face a mask of concern.

“It’s ok,” you give him a small smile. “You’re right, Bruce, I’m the best lead. What do you need from me.”

The shock on Bruce’s face is evident, “Oh… uh… no-nothing invasive. If we can get some solid energy scans from you, blood samples while your power is active, stuff like that we can start putting together an algorithm that can scan for that specific energy signature and variants close to it. See if they’re trying this elsewhere.”

“I can also try to come up with a suit or something similar that can keep you from… overloading so Manchurian over here,” you glance at Bucky, he hates this nickname from Tony, “won’t ever have to use whatever Jedi mind trick he has to make you blow yourself up.”

Relief floods your system. You hoped for an outcome like this but you didn’t let yourself believe it could really happen. A shaky half laugh trips over your lips, “That’s it?” Tears prick at your eyes as you scan the room.

“For now. Give me 24 hours I’m sure I can cook up some other fun ideas if you’re going to let us play with this,” Tony sweeps his hands up and down in your direction, “whatever the hell it is in your system.”

A soft smile lights his face, “You’re one of us, Y/N, we just needed to know you were ok. That you weren’t about to light Ice Boy on fire at a moment’s notice.” The smile turns impish, “And since it looks like you’re lighting him up in a whole different way-”

“Excuse you-” You jab an elbow hard into Bucky’s ribs. The tension breaks as everyone laughs at his surprised wheeze. Even Bucky is smiling as he looks down at you.

Steve stands, “I think that’s all we need to worry about for now.” He looks down at you two, a tender look on his face, “We’ll get out of your hair.” Everyone stands, including you and Bucky.

You sway a bit on your feet as Natasha pulls you into an embrace, “Get some rest please,” she whispers in your ear. You give her a solid nod in acknowledgment.

“Sparks,” Tony calls to you as Steve and Bucky embrace. You make your way to him, feeling more and more unsteady. He rests his hands on your shoulders, supporting you, “Anything you need you let me know, anything.” His gaze is intense.

“I will, Tony.” His eyebrows raise in doubt, “I promise. This was… I just…”

“I get it,” he smiles. “I’ll make you a recovery playlist,” he pats your shoulder and heads for the door. Turning he points to you, “Be sure to play it loud enough to annoy the grump.” You look to your right as Bucky approaches you, his eyes rolling.

You laugh, “You got it, boss.” Tony winks and heads out as Bucky slips a supportive arm around your waist. You’re grateful and lean into his steady frame.

“You have so much explaining to do, traitor” Sam quips, a kind smile on his face.

“You’re still my number one jetpack, Wilson, don’t be butthurt.”

He cups your cheek then glares at Bucky, “Take care of her.”

“I will,” you’re surprised at the smile playing on his lips.

“If you don’t, Winter Soldier or not I’ll beat your ass.”

“Sam, grown nuclear risk woman here,” you pat his hand still resting on your face, “I’ll be good.”

He smiles, “Oh I’ll whoop your ass too if you don’t take care of yourself. Just making sure he knows what’s what.” Tenderly, he pats your face and steps back. “Call your therapist,” he winks, Sam was always on you about it. He claps Steve on the shoulder before he’s gone too.

Steve is the last one there. Pulling away from Bucky you give the Captain a heartfelt hug. “Look out for him,” he whispers in your ear. Everyone could see how wrecked you were. Bucky wasn’t much better, it was just less visible. But Steve could see it plain as day. Your heart swells a bit in your chest to know someone is paying attention to Bucky’s needs too.

You hold his gaze and nod. A smile fills Steve’s face telling you he can sense just how much was held in that gesture.

“You both get some rest,” he says after he and Bucky exchange a hug.

“Aye, aye, Cap,” you give him a half-hearted salute.

“You’re worse than Tony,” he calls over his shoulder.

You laugh, “That cuts deep Steve.”

He turns back, “So sure. Call if either of you needs anything.”

Immediately you bury your face in Bucky’s chest, breathing in his reassuring smell. His arms curl around you, holding you tight pressing a kiss on top of your head.

“I told you it would be fine,” you say pressing your cheek against his sternum.

“That you did,” he sighs, “could have easily not been though.”

“Can’t live on could have beens Buck,” his stomach growls. “Wait,” you pull back and give him a once over, “you didn’t eat anything earlier.” He shrugs. Guilt washes over you for not realizing before. You grab his hand and start to drag him to the kitchen.

“I’m good, Y/N,” he laughs a little, “really. You don’t have to-”

“Shut up,” you push him on to one of the stools. “What kind of food do you have here?” Opening his fridge you groan. Eggs, protein shakes, a couple more of those Pedialyte drinks, and a few pre-made meals from one of those ‘healthy’ restaurants on the lower floors of the tower.

Groaning you look around the door to him, “You are such a dude.”

He laughs, “Not up to your standards?”

“Not by a long shot,” you flash him a smirk. “Ok, eggs, one of those terrible meal things, or order out?”

“Those meals aren’t bad,” he protests.

“They taste like fucking cardboard.”

“Eggs, because I don’t want to face your judgement,” he says smiling standing up, “but I can make-”

“Get back on that stool before I tie you to a chair.”

He sits and smirks at you, “Maybe later, doll,” he winks.

Once he’s eaten and you’ve downed a protein bar and bottle of Pedialyte you’re both just about ready to topple over.

“Thanks,” he smiles back at you as he loads the dishwasher.

“Just returning the favor.”

He rounds the island and tilts your face up to his, thumbs grazing your cheekbones. “I don’t know about you but I need sleep.” You nod.

Wordlessly the two of you undress and crawl into bed. The feeling of his skin on yours, his soft breath on the back of your neck, the steady thrumming of his heart, they make everything else fall away.

“Sleep well, doll,” he whispers against your ear.

And you do.

@midnightdream83 @mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @handplucked @buckysstar @sam-jae @marauder--harder @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @andreagf56 @meg-asaur @jewelofwinter @fairislesheets @animegirlgeeky @lydklein1 @katecolleen @siriuslycloudy2

[queen-scribbles]

Unlikeliest Places

@pillarspromptsweekly fill 95. It’s another Roll for It, and my elements are The Living Lands, travel fatigue, and a beautiful natural vista. (also, crazy self-indulgent bc my birthday is this coming week AND I think this is my 100th prompt fill(?) so I wanted to have even more fun with it than usual.)

                                                        ---

Despite how much she loved traveling and adventure, Tavi did have to admit there were some not so great things about it. Like sore feet. And walking in the rain. She didn’t have anything against rain, per se; when she was somewhere like Caed Nua or an inn and it was her choice she loved to go for long walks and get absolutely soaked to the skin. But that was completely different from this--boots squelching with every step as she she and Aloth trudged down another road after another lead. It wouldn’t have been so bad if she knew how far to their destination. But road signs were apparently unheard of here, and the last person to give them directions had just vaguely gestured down the road and told them it was a straight shot of “a few miles”. A few miles so far was up to six by Tavi’s reckoning.

At least the Living Lands were more scenic than, say, the Vailian Republics. And all the flora and fauna was new and unusual. It made her regret never making it up this far before. 

And then she stepped in a deceptively deep puddle and almost lost her balance. Would have if Aloth didn’t grab her arm.

Abydon’s fuckin’ forge, we better find somethin’ that makes this fuckin’ worthwhile  Tavi shot him a grateful smile as she shook muddy water off her boot. “Thanks. I’m gettin’ real fuckin’ close to wantin’ to talk with that orlan about the definition of the word ‘few’.”

Aloth chuckled. “In my experience, places this... provincial tend to use that as a catch-all for anything lower than about twenty.”

She snorted and raked sopping tendrils of hair out of her eyes. “You can say ‘backwater mudhole’ if that’s what you mean, Corfiser, no one’s here to get offended.”

He shrugged and rolled his shoulders to shake rainwater off his cloak. “Better not to take the chance.”

She shook her head fondly. “You are incorrigible, city slicker.”

Aloth snorted in amusement as he tugged his hood further forward. “And you’re one to talk on that score, Tavi.”

Tavi grinned despite the rainwater trickling down her face. “Pot and kettle, what a pair we make, huh?”

He actually laughed. “You could say that.”

“Or I could point out I think I finally see a town up ahead,” she chuckled. “It better be Stilden, or I really will go hunt down that fuckin’ orlan to have a few words...”

“Whether it’s the town we seek or not, I’ll be satisfied if there’s an inn,” Aloth pointed out. “Just getting out of the rain will be enough for now.”

“Heh, true,” Tavi snorted. “We can dry out while we try to figure what the fuckin’ Key wants up here. Untamed frontiers never struck me as their kinda place.”

“No?” Aloth raised an eyebrow as they drew close enough to see this was indeed a community of some kind. “With all the unexplored valleys in which to hide, the potential ruins waiting in their depths, and a high likelihood no one will question your disappearance--or others’ who poked where they didn’t belong--because meeting an unfortunate end is all too common?”

“Well, when you put it like that...” Tavi grinned, letting the words trail off. She nodded toward the only two-story building in sight. “That’s prob’ly either a tavern or a general store, an’ both’ll serve our purpose.”

“After you, then,” Aloth said lightly, tucking his hair back behind one ear.

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m the diplomatic one,” she teased, rolling her eyes.

“Perhaps not, but you are the forceful one, and I have a feeling that counts for more out here,” he returned.

From the sign over the door--the carven torrents of a splashing waterfall--Tavi was pretty confident this was an inn, or at least a tavern, as they approached.

The sight that greeted them when she pushed open the door confirmed that; the interior was full of tables(half of them occupied) and fairly tough looking folk woman stood behind the long, rough-hewn bar.

Thank fuckin’ Hylea, Tavi sighed. I need a drink.

Every eye was on them as soon as they stepped through the door. and she practically felt Aloth tense at the attention. Tracking down a Leaden Key cell usually relied heavily on keeping a low profile, and this was the exact opposite of what they wanted.

“Can’t be helped,” Tavi murmured, tugging his arm so he’d follow her toward the counter.

“I know,” he murmured back, slipping his hand in hers. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

She squeezed his hand in silent agreement--at least out here no one recognized the Watcher of Caed Nua--as the woman behind the bar jerked her head toward them in greeting.

“Don’t get many travelers through here,” she commented, bracing her hands against the counter. “What can I getcha?”

“Whatever you have that’s strongest for me,” Tavi replied as she pushed back her hood, extremely aware of the drip trail they were leaving across the floor.

The barkeep nodded approvingly and raised an eyebrow at Aloth. “And you?”

He met the question with a tight smile.”I’m fine, thank you.”

“Whatever y’say,” she shrugged. “What brings you through Stilden?”

Aloth’s grip tightened fractionally on Tavi’s hand. She shifted her weight, brushing her shoulder against his as she replied, “We’re adventurers. An acquaintance mentioned there were plenty to be had up here.”

The barkeep snorted as she pulled a dark green bottle from under the counter and popped the cork. “Heh, this acquaintance would be right. You sure they ain’t also tryin’ to get you killed? We got more up here that’ll do ya in than any other country in Eora.” 

Tavi laughed and accepted the freshly poured drink the woman pushed toward her. “Pretty sure, yeah. And I think we’ll chance it, either way. Danger just adds to the fun.”

The barkeep smirked. “Good attitude to have up here. Just don’t go lookin’ for too much fun or ya might might get in over yer head.”

“That’s good advice anywhere,” Tavi said glibly. She picked up the mug, smelling the alcohol in the drink before she had it more than a couple inches off the bar. She’d said strong and the woman had obliged. She took a good hard swallow and ranked it better than most of what she’d had in the Deadfire, even if it wasn’t the best she’d ever had.

She nodded appreciatively as she lowered the mug. “That’s pretty good.”

The barkeep grinned. “Thank ya, I brew it m’self.” She held out her hand to shake.  “Hilde.”

Tavi shook her hand and introduced herself. “Any other advice for increasing our chance of survival?”

“Don’t travel after dark,” Hilde said with a shrug. “An’ your best bet is t’ hire a guide if y’ wanna go explorin’. A good one,” she clarified, “who’s seen a lot of this place. Hey, Tarven,” she called across the room to a dark haired elf slouched alone at a table. “Skellen back yet?”

The elf snorted. “With the shit his group was lookin’ t’ find? We ain’t gonna see them for another month or two at least.” He tipped his head and gave Tavi and Aloth a meaningful look. “If we ever do.”

“They get the point, Tar,” Hilde said dryly. “You wouldn’t happen to know who is around, would ya?”

Tarven pursed his lips in thought a moment. “They could ask the Rook whelp, I s’ppose. He don’t do much guide work these days, though. His wolf’s too old t’ keep up on the long trips and no one who makes it this far into the Lands wants a short one.”

“Can’t hurt t’ ask,” Hilde retorted. “An’ he’s been roamin’ the Lands more’n three decades, I’d hardly call him a whelp.”

“He is in the scheme of things,” Tarven shot back, before locking eyes with Tavi, his ears dipping in mild irritation. “But I can tell ya where to find him, if you wanna gamble on bein’ special enough he’ll say yes.”

Tavi shrugged and took another swig of her drink. There was a note of something in there she couldn’t quite figure out, but it was really growing on her.  “Worth a shot. Worst he’ll do is say no, right?”

“Kel, yeah. There are some folk that would do more dependin’  on their mood.” Tarven straightened in his seat. “Now, he works outta his folks’ salvage business, so it’s a little ways outta town...” He beckoned them closer, and Tavi went, her drink in one hand and tugging Aloth along with the other. He followed just behind her without protest, though she could see concern in his eyes. She made a mental note to ask about that as they sat down across the table from Tarven so he could lay out the route to where they could find this guide.

o.O.o

It took a while to finally get some privacy; Tarven proved chatty, and Hilde even more so when they attempted to wait out the rain. When the weather showed no sign of relenting anytime soon, they caved and got a room.

“Alright, spill, city slicker,” Tavi said soon as the door closed behind them. “You’re so tense I can practically see your anxiety floatin’ over your head like a fuckin’ storm cloud.”

Aloth half-smiled at her attempted humor. “I’m simply concerned about bringing someone into our confidence who we don’t know.”

“Whaddya mean?” Tavi probed as she hung her cloak over the back of a chair to dry and sat down to start working off her boots. 

“This guide,” he said. “I do appreciate improving our odds of survival, but how do we search for a fanatically secretive cult without tipping him off to what we’re doing? There’s only so much we can explain away with the adventurers cover.”

“What’s so wrong with tippin’ him off that we’re lookin’ for someone?” she shrugged. The stubborn boot finally came off and she started working on the other one. “Obviously he doesn’t need to know everything, but what can it hurt tellin’ him we’re... shit, lookin’ for evidence of an ancient guardian order. We can just leave off that we think they’re still around and fuckin’ with the course of history.”

“Because we don’t know how large a presence they have here,” Aloth replied, absently raking his fingers through his still-damp hair. “For all we know, this Rook fellow could be one of them. Even if not, who’s to say he wouldn’t answer any questions put to him regarding our business, whether for compensation or simply due to not having a reason he shouldn’t?”

Tavi snorted. “If you’re gonna be that fuckin’ paranoid, maybe I shoulda used a fake name, Engferth.”

He shot her a dirty look for that, but she saw the corners of his mouth twitch.  “Tavi, it’s been two years, are you ever planning to let that go?”

“Nope,” she said cheerfully, kicking her boots under the edge of the bed. “It’s too much fun givin’ you shit for it.”

“That’s the answer I was both afraid of and expecting,” Aloth said with a long suffering sigh. He was smiling as he joined her on the bed, however. “The benefits of aliases aside, we really do need to decide if we’re going to employ this Rook, and if so, how much we tell him.”

“Look, city slicker,” Tavi turned so she was half-facing him. “I know we’ve survived everything from town drunks to cultists to the fuckin’ gods themselves, but I didn’t survive all that to get eaten by a fuckin’ lion or some weird plant b’cause we were too paranoid to take advantage of local knowledge and experience.”

He shot her a dubious look. “A plant?”

She shrugged. “Y’hear things. Rumors’n shit.”

“I... highly doubt there’s any truth to that one,” Aloth said diplomatically.

“Better safe than sorry,” Tavi insisted. “I say we hire the fuckin’ guide. You can decide how much we tell him,” she conceded. “You have more experience with the fuckin’ Key than I do.”

Aloth mulled that over a moment, twisting one of his rings while he thought, before nodding. “That’s a fair compromise.”

“Great. Then I’m goin’ to bed,” she grinned, wriggling out of her pants and kissing him on the cheek. “B’cause walkin’ in the rain and mud all day is fuckin’ exhaustin’.”

He chuckled. “I’ll join you shortly, there’s something I want to check first.”

“If you wait too long, I’ll be asleep,” Tavi warned playfully around a yawn as she snuggled in. She hadn’t realized how tired she was til she said something, but she really was exhausted.

“I’ll just have to take that risk,” Aloth said with a smile as he pushed off the bed. 

o.O.o

Tavi’s suspicions proved correct and the night was at least half over before she felt the bed shift as Aloth settled in next to her. But he’d never needed much sleep, and the lack of it didn’t have a noticeable effect on his mood, so she didn’t tease him too much as they prepared for the day.

Aloth took all of it in stride--he was well accustomed to her habits by now--and waited until they were leaving the room to inform her that her hair had dried slightly curly.

“Oh, yeah, it does that sometimes,” Tavi grimaced self-consciously. “’Specially in humid weather if I’ve cut it recently.” Which was the case; she’d trimmed it less than a week ago. She sighed and feathered one hand through it. “Oh well. Nothin’ I can really do about it, so guess you get a peek at what I looked liked in my twenties,” she teased, pulling on her cloak as she stepped into the hall.

Aloth raised an eyebrow. “This is how you kept it back then?”

“Well, yeah, city slicker, I was workin’ for the blacksmith at that point, short hair was much easier to keep out of my fuckin’ eyes.” She tugged the door closed behind them. “An’ our part of Old Vailia got humid as fuck in the summer, so this is how it usually ended up.” She scowled at an ugly thought and kicked the wall. “At least until everything went to shit. There was a while in there I couldn’t cut my hair, even if I’d cared enough to.” Her gaze dropped to her hands, just in time to watch Aloth take them in his.

“Tavi,” he said softly, deliberately turning her hands so she couldn’t see her scarred palms. “I didn’t mean to bring up unpleasant memories.” His thumbs swept in matching arcs over her knuckles.

Tavi snorted a shaky laugh. “Shit, Corfiser, it’s almost forty years ago. I can’t expect you to walk on fuckin’ eggshells ‘bout anything that might bring it to mind.” She squeezed his hands appreciatively all the same. “B’side I walked myself into that one.”

“Still, I am sorry for bringing it to mind.” Aloth tugged her hands to close the distance between them and steal a kiss.

“Mmm, not that you need it, but you’re forgiven, Aloth,” she mumbled, smiling, into the kiss.

“You know how much I admire your resilience,” he whispered when they finally broke the kiss, foreheads still touching.

“Tough as fuck,” she agreed mischievously, freeing one hand to cup his jaw as she tipped her chin forward for round two, murmuring, “Just like you,” right before their lips met.

Gods, she loved the way his ears went pink whenever she complimented him. 

“I don’t know about that,” Aloth demurred. “I’ve seen some of the things you survived and doubt I would have fared as well.” He cleared his throat. “But don’t we have somewhere to be?”

“Right.” Tavi brushed her thumb against his cheek one last time before stepping away so they could resume course downstairs. “Let’s go hire a guide so we can have an adventure with less risk of dying.” She laughed when he rolled his eyes. “Didja figure out what we’re telling him?”

Aloth nodded. “We’re searching for Engwithan ruins. It’s a large enough portion of the truth to serve our purpose, and still sufficiently commonplace to not raise suspicion. And given the connection between the Key and Engwithan culture, it’ll at least get us where we need to start looking. Between what we learned in the Dyrwood and the fact you understand the language, it’s more than plausible.”

“Also, if it’s leaked somehow, worst that’ll happen is the Key comin’ after us rather’n us havin’ to hunt them down,” Tavi added with a dark grin.

“I did consider that, actually,” he said dryly.

Tavi shot him a bemused look as they exited the tavern. “Covering all your angles?”

“Exactly.”

o.O.o

Tarven’s directions from the night before proved easily followed, and this salvage business equally easy to find. The walk was also far more pleasant now that it wasn’t raining and they could enjoy the view. There was a wild, untamed beauty to the land, even this close to a settlement, and she could see trails that meandered toward tangled forests and overgrown ravines. I really should’ve made it up here sooner, she mused. This place would be perfect for me.

But it she had, she wouldn’t have met Aloth or Kana or any of the others, or shit, even Maren and the rest of Silversteel. So she wouldn’t really change things. Besides, this place didn’t seem overly given to change, so it probably didn’t look that different than ten or twenty or even forty years ago.

“This place reminds me of you,” Aloth commented, almost as if he’d heard her thoughts. 

Tavi snorted. “Stubborn and untamed?”

“And chaotic, and fascinating....” He nodded toward the sprawling vista off to their right, trees framing the view of sky and clouds, ground split by a red-rock valley. “Beautiful.”

“Now we’re talkin’,” she teased. “Shame I can’t think of anywhere flatterin’ to compare you to, city slicker.”

Aloth smirked. “You’ll just have to come up with something else, then.”

“Yes, I will, but later.” Tavi nodded toward a dirt path that wound off to their left, curving around a clump of trees before looking like it maybe, eventually, led to an indistinct shadow that might’ve been a house.

“Well, this just fills me with confidence,” Aloth said dryly.

“Why?” Tavi laughed, starting down the path. “He’s a wilderness guide, I”d be more worried if he lived in the middle of fuckin’ civilization.”

“Or what passes for it out here,” Aloth muttered, swiping at the tall grass that encroached on the trail.

“Be nice,” she  scolded playfully. “‘Specially since you just said this place reminds you of me.”

“Fair point,” he conceded, lips curving in a faint smile.

The indistinct shadow had started to take more definite shape now; a low, single story bungalow, with semi-neat piles of miscellaneous goods lined up along the sides. As they drew even closer they could see the figure sitting out front, a few feet away from the door. A blond elf, the sun catching both the reddish highlights in his hair and the silver-streaked coat of the wolf lounging at his feet as he worked. Tavi gave the longbow he was shaping a once-over, one brow arched in admiration. Bows might not be her weapon of choice, but she’d spent enough time with archers to recognize a well-crafted one when she saw it. 

By now they were close enough for the wolf to catch their scent, and it lifted its head, ears twitching back, to alert the elven hunter.

“Easy,” he murmured, not looking up from his project to address them. “Help you?”

“Yes, we were looking for Kel Rook,” Aloth said. Tavi bit back a smile at the wary glance he sent the wolf. Just because Tarven had alluded to the animal getting old didn’t mean it was harmless.

“Found him,” the blond grunted, flicking a brief look at Aloth before returning to the bow. “But it’s just Rook. Why the interest?”

There was something familiar about his voice, in a way that set Tavi’s teeth on edge and squeezed something tight in her chest. She didn’t like the feeling much. Probably because outside Silversteel or her Dyrwood and Deadfire companions pretty much anyone familiar had likely tried to kill her. She crossed her arms defensively(as if that would help). “We’re lookin’ to explore around here an’ were told you’re a good guide.”

Rook frowned. “Damn Tarven,” he muttered, running his hand along the curve of the bow. “Were you also told I don’t do guide work often now that Fletch has trouble keepin’ up?”

“Maybe you could give it a fuckin’ try,” she returned, more irritably than she meant to as that nagging familiarity squeezed tighter. “We’re lookin’ for ruins, so we’re not gonna be movin’ all that fast, an’ we can handle ourselves, so it shouldn’t be too dangerous.”

“Everything here is fuckin’ dangerous.” Rook shot back heatedly, finally looking up to scowl at her with glass-green eyes. “I work best with an animal partner, Fletch ain’t up to it, and the pup I’m trainin’ isn’t ready yet.” He cocked his head and his scowl turned to a squint for a protracted moment before, “Have we... met?”

Tavi frowned. “Not unless you’ve been outta this fuckin’ jungle at some point in your life.”

“Not since I got here.” His brow furrowed. “Somethin’ familiar about you, though.”

Tavi crossed her arms tighter. That weird feeling was getting stronger and it was setting off alarm bells and she really didn’t like it. She shuffled a half step closer to Aloth and shrugged. “Well, I’ve never been up this way, so can’t help ya. C’mon, city slicker, if the man won’t do it, we’ll just hafta find someone else.” Someone who didn’t send spider-feet sensations crawling up her spine. Something about Rook tugged at her and whether it was from her own life or just more Watcher shit, she didn’t like it. She’d apologize to Aloth and explain herself later.

“But-” Aloth started to protest.

“Hylea’s tits, just-”

Rook caught a sharp breath and stood so fast the bow he’d been crafting tumbled to the ground and his wolf bolted up on shaky legs in case he was needed. “...Tavi?”

She froze. How...? She looked, really looked, at this naggingly, uncomfortably familiar hunter with his reddish blond hair and pale green eyes. The burn scars she hadn’t noticed before that trailed down his arm and up the side of his neck. There’s no fuckin’ way. It can’t be.

“What’s wrong?” Aloth whisper, protectively glued to her side.

Tavi shook her head. Nothing was wrong, just her world being tilted on its axis. Tarven had called ‘the Rook whelp’ Kel. No, Tavi, she scolded herself as she pictured the man in front of her thirty-odd years younger and with his voice a couple octaves higher and a ridiculous hope started to sprout in her chest, nearly four decades after the worst day of her life. They all died, all of them. Even him. It’s not... He can’t be.

But hope was a wild thing, stubborn as Tavi herself, and the name escaped in a breathless, unbelieving rush. “Khellin?!”

He nodded and the world screeched to a halt, fading out around the edges as she clapped her hands over her mouth.

“Oh, Hylea’s blazin’ feathered copper-fucking tits,” she muttered through her fingers. This couldn’t be real. She hadn’t really woken up yet, this was a dream or some shit like that. She bit the tender skin at the base of one finger hard enough she nearly drew blood. OW. Nope, not dreaming. FUCK.

Khellin--who was really standing there, she wasn’t dreaming--gave a strangled laugh that sounded more than half a sob. “Figures you still swear enough to send Mom into fits.”

“‘Course,” Tavi snorted shakily, dropping her hands. “I’m fuckin’ incorrigible, you know that better’n anyone.” Almost anyone, she corrected herself, darting a glance toward Aloth.

He was staring at her with wide eyes. He’d been there through enough occurrences of the relevant anniversary to know exactly the implications of this turn of events.

Khellin laughed again, this one closer to the real thing. “Can’t argue with that.” He ran one hair through his hair. “Guess it’s a bit of an understatement to say we have a lot of catchin’ up to do?”

It was Tavi’s turn for a shell-shocked, almost hysterical sob-laugh combination, because her brother was alive. He was alive and she wasn’t dreaming and what the fuck, whichever god she needed to thank she’d do it gladly because Khellin was fucking alive. “I think callin’ it just a bit of an understatement is an understatement.”

Forty years. She’d thought he was dead for almost forty gods-damned fucking years and he’d been here the whole time. I really should’ve visited the Living Lands sooner.

Khellin reached down to brush his wolf’s ears in a comforting gesture when he whined. “How ‘bout I change my answer, help you two find those ruins you’re lookin’ for?” he offered. “We can start the blazin’ long process of catchin’ up while we search.”

Tavi nodded, not even looking at Aloth to check. There was no way he’d deny her this, even if they hadn’t been planning to employ him before her own personal Godhammer had been dropped on the encounter. “Sounds like a fuckin’ plan. There’s just... something I need to take care of first.”

He cocked an eyebrow and she could feel Aloth’s curiosity as well before she crossed the distance in three swift strides and pulled her baby brother into a ferociously tight hug.

Khellin flinched and his wolf’s ears tipped backward, but he did wrap his arms around her after only a few heartbeats and hug back.

“Sorry,” Tavi whispered. She knew he wasn’t always thrilled with physical affection, she just couldn’t help herself.

“Don’t be,” Khellin mumbled, hugging tighter, his voice further muffled by her shoulder. “You’re an exception, always have been.”

Tavi matched his strength, still hardly able to believe this was happening, even though she could feel him, warm and solid and real. She finally, reluctantly, loosened her grip and stepped back, surveying him head to toe again. “I guess... I guess if we’re gonna travel while we talk we better get movin’?”

He nodded, glancing between her and Aloth before he bent to pick up the dropped bow.  “We should; it gets dark early if you’re under tree cover. And it seems you’re lookin’ for somethin’ special? Usually hafta go pretty deep for that.”

“Not today, I fuckin’ don’t,” Tavi grinned and Khellin laughed.

“No, I guess not.” His fingers brushed the wolf’s head as he turned to go lean the longbow against the bungalow. He ducked inside briefly, returning with a shortbow and quiver of arrows as well as a ration bag. “Preparedness is our chief virtue out here,” he explained, slinging both quiver and bag over his shoulder. “Let’s go find whatever it is you came lookin’ for.”

Tavi was pretty sure she’d be smiling for the next several hours at least. “Let’s,” she agreed, reaching for Aloth’s hand and weaving her fingers between his. She felt really good about their odds now. She’d hoped to find something worthwhile up here, and that had already been granted beyond her wildest dreams.

Surely they’d find something to work with; the Living Lands had all sorts of great things hiding in the unlikeliest places.

----------------------

I’ve been wanting to let Tavi find out Khellin’s alive for... I think like a year and a half? Maybe longer? And just never had the chance to do it, so when I saw the elements for this week’s prompt I had a MY TIME HAS COME moment and decided to do it now. Obviously at some point there’s gonna be a follow-up that’s them talking about what happened to each of them, woven in with Tavi and Aloth’s hunt for the Leaden Key. But we’ll just have to see when I get the chance for that ;)