#don’t be that guy. jfc. if you didn’t know now you do go forth and be better. it’s indefensible if you know and still choose to ignore it

[badolmen]

…y’all know that (((they/demons/etc.))) is an antisemetic dog whistle right? Right???

[captainsimagines]

traitor

Summary: It was only one night, no strings attached, just two friends working through their grief together. Steve went to live his life with Peggy and within two weeks of returning, he peacefully passed. Unimaginable things happen everyday, jokes have negative consequences, and protection doesn’t always protect from the possibility… the possibility of carrying a child. He would have stayed if he knew, everyone agrees with this, so why is the world calling Steve Rogers a traitor?

One-Shot (with a happy ending)

Pairing(s): Avengers x Fem Reader; brief Steve Rogers x Fem Reader

Warnings: Unexpected pregnancy; serious talks about abortion; brief mention of suicide (if you squint); mentions of Endgame deaths; strong language; minor descriptions of actual birth; ANGST but with a happy ending! This is purely fanfiction. 

Word Count: 6,600+

A/N: So, Olivia Rodrigo’s album just came out and dude, jfc every song is magical. like... wtf. This is essentially a ‘song fanfic’, but ehhhh not quite. The lyrics don’t match the fanfic lmao but the melody does??? idk this is a shit ton of angst, be warned. It was from a request I got a while back, so this is kind of a request fanfic. 

~

Up until the moment Steve pressed his soft lips to yours, you were certain you had never experienced such a wonderful sensation of magic. You had been witness to actual magic, to beings from other worlds, and yet Steve’s gentle touch was enough to erase any other image, to completely overpower your senses, a kind of magic that dug deep into the trenches of your heart and settled in its new home. 

No, you and Steve were not a couple. There were some flirty remarks over the years, some fantasies that lay dormant, but there was never the craving to actually act upon them. But when half the world disappeared and the remaining Avengers came up with a plan five years later, the loss of a teammate prompted the sudden push of two touch-starved individuals. The rest of the team had gone to sulk in their own corners of the compound, some hard at work at constructing the final piece to the puzzle, and you and Steve ventured off to the kitchen. Two cups of tea each, silent but heavy tears mixing in with the sugar and milk. 

You were the first to break, shoulders crumbling and knees rocking under your weight. You fell to the floor, sobs and hiccups forming into a full-blown attack, your hands scratching at your neck. Steve fell beside you, pulling you into his chest and rocking you back and forth. He cried too, the final words of his best friend ringing in his ears like a dreaded song on repeat. See you in a minute. See you in a minute. See you in a minute. 

Time was irrelevant, you had enough of counting time, estimating it, time-traveling through it. If you could sit there all night, all week, another five years huddled close to Steve Rogers, then so be it. 

‘I can’t believe she’s gone,’ you had sobbed. 

‘I can’t believe it either. I can’t,’ he had cried back. 

You had simply lifted your head and turned his face toward yours, searching his eyes for any hesitation before you had leaned in first. He had returned the intimate gesture almost immediately, gripping you tightly. Tears dripped in between your moving lips, sobs caught inside breathy moans, grips becoming tighter and tighter as each of you shared your first time together. No other partner up until that point had ever pulled such a pained but grateful cry from your throat, no other human being had ever made you feel so safe and peaceful. 

The final battle was over, you had lost yet another teammate, but the world had a chance to start over. And Steve had pulled you aside a few days before he returned the stones, letting you know that he wasn’t coming back the same man. He had been so scared of telling you, of possibly betraying you, but when your palms cupped his cheeks and you gave him a kiss on the lips with a soft whisper of ‘Be with her. Cherish her. Be happy. We’ll meet again’, his worries instantly shattered. He could only rapidly nod his head, grabbing your hands that were soaked in his tears, and kissing them until he said his final goodbyes. 

And he returned such a different man, but with a smile you had never quite seen before. Yes, he was older and you only had a few seconds to actually process that, but he was happy. He had been happy. He finally lived the life he deserved. 

Sitting in that pew two weeks later, both sad and happy tears streaming down your face, you felt at peace for the first time in a long time. You simply gripped Wanda’s hand as they carried the casket down the aisle, a sad melody drowning the church. 

`

The first round of sickness hit you the day of the funeral, but you obviously didn’t think much of it. It was the fits of sadness and grief, the hot coil in the middle of your stomach, you thought. It had to be. It wasn’t until your breakfast was regurgitated into your toilet only a few minutes after enjoying it that you were suddenly worried. 

You sneaked to some liquor store a subway ride away, careful of not leaving a trail. This was embarrassing, it was insane, it couldn’t possibly be real. You gave the cashier your money and ran to the stall provided, peeing on the stick the best you could before placing it on the dirty sink in the corner. You patted your hands on your thighs repeatedly, careful to not touch any other thing in a goddamn liquor store bathroom. 

‘Friday?’ your voice was so defeated, tears already stinging your eyes.

Your little bluetooth sprang to life, ‘Yes, Y/N?’

Your bottom lip was trembling wildly, hands now shaking. ‘Can you stay active with me while I read the results? I can’t… I can’t be alone right now.’

‘Yes, Y/N. Anything you need, I’m here.’ You sobbed openly, thanking her under your breath. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to contact anybody else?’

‘I can’t face them. I can’t face them if it’s positive, Friday.’

‘Okay, it’s alright,’ her voice was so delicate, so quiet and reassuring. ‘Just keep talking to me, Y/N. I think the results should be ready now.’

You inched closer to the test. ‘I’m scared, Friday.’

‘I know,’ Friday sighed, ‘But you will get through this. No matter the result.’

Grabbing the small device from the sink, you swallowed so much saliva that it actually hurt. The plus sign was so clear, so evident in its visibility, and your ears only registered the loud cries escaping your painful lungs because Friday was practically yelling in your ear. 

‘Please, calm down Y/N! Your heart rate is too fast-” she was stuttering, an AI was stuttering. ‘I’m calling for help. You need someone to be here with you. I’m sorry.’

It took ten minutes. Ten minutes of banging outside the bathroom door from the cashier, ten minutes of blurry vision and a strep throat. Sam broke through the door as quickly as he could, eyes flying around the small bathroom until he saw you huddled in the corner, a pregnancy test clutched in your small hand. He crouched down beside you, hands extended but not exactly touching you, and eyes trying to lock with yours. 

‘Y/N, Y/N?’

Just the sound of his voice, the voice of someone who didn’t need this added pain in their lives, it was just too much. Another weight added to your shoulders. 

‘I don’t know why,’ you choked out, ‘I’m so sorry.’

Sam’s face contorted into a pained expression, eyes brimmed with salty tears. ‘What are you talking about? No one is blaming you for anything. You’re safe, I’m here.’

You shook your head violently, ‘I didn’t mean to.’

But as quickly as those words left your mouth, the pounding in your head had become too unbearable. You collapsed into Sam’s arms. 

`

You woke to a single doctor who was monitoring your vitals. She was just sitting beside your bed, clicking random buttons on the screen in front of her. You whimpered slightly, the bright lights temporarily blinding you. The doctor quickly stopped what she was doing and removed the tube from your nose, allowing you to breathe on your own. You ignored the weird scratch that caused, and asked her the question you needed to have answered by a true medical professional - not a liquor store device. 

She confirmed what you already knew. There were no ‘congratulations’ or even ‘I’m sorry’s’, just the fact that you were pregnant and it was very early on. There were still options for you, it was healthy so far, you were healthy so far- 

Wait, options? 

The team were all huddled outside, nerves all over the place. They didn’t know what was going on. Sam knew but it wasn’t his information to pass on. It wasn’t until Bucky’s angry demeanor actually turned violent, a hole forming through the hospital wall. You were all on a private floor, completely displaced from the reality down on other levels, so any freak-outs were only slightly justified. Slightly. 

‘Sam, you gotta tell us. I made a promise to Steve, Sam! I promised to take care of her!’

Bucky’s words gripped Sam’s heart in a metaphorical vice. ‘She’s gotta tell you guys, man. It’s not my place.’

You had curled in on yourself, the doctor’s words echoing louder and louder. 

‘Abortion is an option. At this rate, it would be quick and safe. I can promise you that. It’s your choice.’

You wanted to die. You wanted the world to swallow you up and bury you alive. You wanted to disappear. If you had died in the snap, this wouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have happened. 

The ride back to the compound was a quiet one, with Sam driving you and the radio on low volume. 

‘Are you going to tell them?’

You bit your lip, ‘The doctor said I had options.’

Sam’s breath hitched and he tried to mask it, but you had heard it. You felt guilty, disgusting, like you betrayed Steve and the rest of the team. They had just lost him, you had just lost him, and you were carrying his child. And if Steve would have known, he would have wanted it. He would have encouraged you to have it, he would have been so happy, he would have been such a great fa-

‘The choice is yours, Y/N.’ He glanced over at you, ‘Can you at least tell me who the father is?’

The wrecked sobs were like second nature now, choking you with their strength. ‘I’m so sorry!’

Sam pulled to the side of the road and quickly took off his seatbelt, sliding over in the connected front seats to pull you into his chest. ‘Shh, hey. We are not going to be mad at you. Everything’s going to be okay. It may not seem like it now but-’

‘Sam!’ you cried, clutching his shirt in a tight fist. ‘I swear it was an accident! Steve didn’t know! He didn’t know, I swear he didn’t know!’

Sam’s mouth dropped open, an almost embarrassing noise of surprise sounding from the depths of his soul. He ran his hands through your hair, eyes rapidly searching for a single viewpoint. But he couldn’t focus on any one thing, not when you were shuddering against him and apologizing nonstop. 

Steve didn’t know. 

`

The team had reacted in a similar manner. They so desperately wanted to wish you a congratulations, it was the norm for this kind of thing. Especially with such a rough few years - bringing life into this world could be considered an ultimate blessing. But this was Steve’s child, his baby, his only baby in this timeline. It was a part of him, something he had unknowingly left behind. 

The team took a few days. The pain of losing Natasha, of losing Steve, of losing Tony. The gift of life. It was just too much. 

And you found yourself in front of Wanda’s bedroom door, hands clutching your night robe closed and knees wobbly. She brought you tea, she laid underneath the covers with you, she spooned you until you stopped crying. 

‘We weren’t together.’

‘You weren’t?’

You sat up, muscles straining due to your thousandth crying session that week. ‘No, it was one time. It was a mutual thing. We just… felt safe. And we made love.’

Wanda shut her eyes briefly, only to open them for two parallel tears to slip. ‘That sounds beautiful.’

‘We used protection. It really was an accident.’

Wanda interrupted, ‘No, don’t try and justify yourself. It happened. It’s done.’

You whimpered, reaching out to grab her hands. ‘I feel so guilty for even talking to you. I don’t know how you did it. I’m so selfish to be pouring all this on you-’

‘Hey, hey,’ she whispered, ‘But I am the only one who can truly understand. I have lost more in my lifetime than anybody ever should. But I am going to help you get through this, Y/N.’

You pulled her into a hug, ‘I missed you so much. I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this.’

Wanda slowly pulled away, eyes cloudy and touch of red twinge flying in her irises. ‘Alright. I won’t leave your side. No matter what you decide.’

` 

The chair was cold, the room was cold, no matter how inviting the hospital tried to make this room. It was decorated in the most neutral colors, so delicate in its designs, pamphlets and books scattered on every available surface. It was made to make the pregnant person feel secure, to feel comfortable in the hands of their doctor, but it just made you sick. 

And when the doctor asked if you would like an ultrasound first, that it wasn’t actually necessary for you to view it, you found yourself saying yes. You were at six weeks, it would be there. Wanda clenched her eyes shut, because even if you were strong enough to do that, she wasn’t. But she was here to hold your hand. She would hold your hand no matter what. 

It was the size of a grain of rice. That fuzzy, white figure off a little to the right of your uterus was the size of a grain. A literal grain of rice. The monitor shifted and the doctor cleared their throat, the slimy device absentmindedly being circled around your lower abdomen. 

‘Oh my god,’ you whispered, eyes locked on the place the doctor had their finger. Wanda brought her hand up to her mouth and looked away. 

That’s when you heard it. 

The steady rhythm of a strong heartbeat. 

Your chest started heaving, tears staining your cheeks as you listened to the beautiful sound. 

‘I’m so sorry,’ the doctor mumbled, ready to pull the monitor’s plug to end the live video but you gripped their arm before they could. 

‘No, no!’ you yelped, the heartbeat still sounding, so early in its actual life that this was for sure Steve’s child. 

You turned to Wanda, face contorting into one of agonizing regret. ‘I can’t do this. I can’t do this to Steve.’

Wanda gulped and took in a ragged breath, ‘Y/N, Steve’s not here.’

‘No,’ you whined, head turning back to look at the monitor. The monitor with yours and Steve’s child on it. ‘This is the only real part of him we have left, right?’

Wanda opened her mouth but shut it again, unable to formulate a proper response. 

‘This is Steve’s child,’ you stated, sucking in a breath through your sobs. ‘This is my child.’

` 

The team was alerted of your decision the minute you walked into the common room. They had known what you left for, dread itching in their souls and morals twisting greedily, but they hadn’t stopped you. They couldn’t do that to you. 

‘Hi,’ you mumbled, placing your things on the counter. Everyone kept their heads down, lumps growing in their throats as each second passed. ‘I’m okay.’

Clint was the first one to speak. ‘Did everything go well? Did they hurt you?’

You smiled with your teeth for the first time in weeks, ‘No, they didn’t hurt me. They didn’t even touch me.’

For a few seconds, no one caught on to your words. But Bucky was the first to register them, to etch them deeply into his brain, to stand from his seat and walk to you cautiously. ‘You decided-?’

You smiled wide now, happy tears falling over your strained cheeks. ‘I’m having a baby.’

The team erupted, cries and cheers deafening you. Bucky stumbled over and hugged you close, arms wrapped over your shoulders and face buried in your neck. He had to bend his knees to keep that position. He weeped into your shoulder and thanked you repeatedly, his own body rumbling with broken sobs. You held him close, fingers digging into his shirt and the skin of his back. 

‘We promise, Y/N,’ Sam said off to the side, waiting for his turn to hug you. ‘We promise to take care of you and this baby.’

A few more long-awaited congratulations were shared. ‘Guess I’m on desk duty for the next nine months, huh?’

Bucky held you tighter. 

`

The first four months were certainly eventful. Wanda insisted on taking pictures of you every few weeks. She had you model with a nice tight shirt to show off your growing stomach, different props in your arms as the weeks passed on.  Flowers, sporting equipment, random Avengers inventions, signs that read the number of weeks you were at. You even did couple shoots, with your teammates posing behind you with their hands on your stomach and an equally bright smile.

She had them printed out and framed, the compound common rooms now littered with random photos of you and your growing child. It was like a timeline, a museum considering you would catch someone inspecting the photographs. This time it was Scott, casually eating his cereal and balancing it in his hand as he walked the hallway. He had this silly smile on his face the whole time, milk dripping from his bottom lip. In his photo, he was posed behind you with a giant smile, back arched and head thrown back while you were trying your best to arch your back as well. And then he saw you watching him, eyes falling from your face to your stomach, and that silly smile growing wider. 

Happy insisted on doing yoga with you every other morning, his chosen playlists actually Tony’s. Half expecting the songs to only emit the essence of rock and roll, you were surprised when the playlist only contained acoustics. Happy winked at you, ‘He was a man of taste, Y/N. He, too, had those sad driving songs.’

Peter was hesitant to visit at first. He was still mourning Tony, as you all were, and seeing everyone again was certainly a hard thing to do. But he managed, and the moment he saw you there, trying to balance a plastic bottle on your tiny stomach, he burst into a fit of giggles. 

‘Oh, oh! I almost got it!’ you encouraged yourself, stomach not yet protruded enough to quite get it. 

Peter rushed over and caught the bottle as it slipped, ‘You’ll get there. How do you feel?’

You grinned at the kid, ‘Like I’m pregnant.’

Peter chuckled, ‘I wouldn’t know, so.’

‘It’s weird,’ you admitted, turning back to your abandoned bowl of fruit. You popped a piece of pineapple in your mouth, ‘But I just remind myself that they’re gonna be an angel when they come out.’

‘All slimy and angelic.’

You swatted at Peter, ‘They’re healthy. That’s all that matters.’

Peter placed his hand on your stomach, half-expecting something to happen. ‘I can’t believe you’re having his baby.’

You bit your lip, willing yourself not to cry. Steve should be here experiencing this. ‘Me neither.’

`

The next month had come so quickly. Your friends - your family - made sure to keep you occupied. Whether it was to shop, to nap together, to eat together, to exercise together, anything, they were by your side. It was so overwhelming at times, but not wanting to scare anyone, you took time for yourself whenever you could. You’d settle in your room, in a nearby cafe, in Natasha’s room, and just sit and breathe. With one hand on your stomach, you couldn’t possibly fathom the luck on your side. It always tore your heart in two when you realized Steve would never meet his child, absolutely mutilated it. But the realization that this child was going to have such a massive family, your family, uncles and aunts who would die for the kid - that realization was sometimes too much. 

The thunder from outside startled everyone. The quiet night everyone was having was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of a certain god, hair now cut and beard trimmed, running into the common area. He was practically hyperventilating, his quick pace halting as he scanned the room. ‘Is it true?’

‘You got my message?’ Wanda asked, shutting off the water from the sink. 

‘I’m sorry, I was away. I just got the message and-’

Thor lay his eyes on you, your obvious stomach, and he started crying softly. ‘It’s true?’

You smiled at him, opening your arms for an embrace. But Thor fell to his knees in front of you, forehead resting on your stomach. ‘This is a miracle.’

‘It really is,’ you laughed, wiping away a few stray tears. ‘The condom broke.’

Laughter sounded almost instantly. 

Thor looked up at you, eyes red and eyebrows furrowed. ‘He didn’t know?’

You shook your head, ‘No, Steve didn’t know. I promise.’

Thor nodded, believing you. He stood slowly, encasing you in a tight squeeze. He hadn’t changed much since you last saw him, but he did seem to be drinking less. ‘After so much loss, the Heaven’s send us a gift from a beloved friend.’

`

Bucky seemed to be the happiest. Although he shared your beliefs that Steve should be here to experience this, to cherish this, to be the father he had deserved to be, Bucky couldn’t help but feel grateful that you decided to keep the baby. He knew he needed to stop relying on Steve to fix his mind, this he had to do on his own, but the bundle of joy inside of you just added to his undying love for his best friend. This was a piece of him, a true half of Steve’s heart that would soon be breathing air and opening its eyes. 

He was currently laying beside you, just woken up from a nap and lazily drawing circles over your clothed tummy. You were still asleep, deep breaths a little ragged since you were twisted slightly to your side. You had given up trying to sleep on your back nowadays. 

‘Hey there,’ Bucky whispered, a funny smile forming on his face because he can’t believe he’s talking to your literal stomach. ‘You know you’re a miracle, right?’

There was no response, obviously. But Bucky just positioned himself to lean on his elbow, temple resting in the palm of his hand. ‘We’re going to love you so much. Steve would have loved you so much.’

He placed his metal hand on your stomach, careful not to apply so much pressure. He was hesitant though, the metal hand now from Wakanda but still something he didn’t entirely trust. Still, he rubbed smooth circles on your side. ‘I already love you so much.’

Kick.

Bucky widened his eyes, a hitch in his breath. Was that real?

‘Did you just respond to me?’ Bucky asked, a little laugh escaping his lips. ‘Should I say it again?’

Nothing happened for a long while. He switched hands, rubbing a little deeper now. It was a free massage for you, anyway. 

Bucky bit his lip and looked up at your face, still peacefully dreaming. He leaned closer to your stomach and repeated his earlier confession. ‘I love you.’

Kick. 

Bucky shot up from his spot on the bed and covered his mouth, a loud laugh accidentally escaping and startling you awake. 

‘W-What?’

‘They kicked! They kicked!’

‘Seriously?’

Bucky was shooting through the stars, because even though it was a long shot, he felt like somehow Steve was telling him he loved him back. 

`

Sam’s leg bounced madly as he watched the doctor slick up the generator. You repeatedly tried to calm him, tell him that it would be quick and simple, and there was nothing to be worried about. 

You were six months now. Belly now protruding to the point where you could only see the tips of your toes when you glanced downward, and the baby was positioned farther into your back. If anything, you were having a giant freaking baby. He was a product of a super soldier. 

You remembered having that scary conversation with the doctors, your whole family beside you as they heard and relayed the information. 

‘Your baby is perfectly healthy. The serum isn’t affecting it. His lungs are forming less quickly than the other organs but there’s no serious worry.’

Bucky had literally cackled at that, confusing everyone in the room. ‘Steve and his shit lungs.’

But now you were finding out the sex. Only one person was allowed in the room this time, and Sam had literally begged you with his eyes to choose him. 

‘Are you two ready?’

You each nodded at the doctor, waiting for the monitor to spring to life. After a few seconds, the heartbeat was detected. You gripped Sam’s hand in yours, a quiet ‘thank god’ passing through his lips. 

Then the giant image of a literal baby appeared on the screen. It was so surreal. It resembled a quick sketch, like one Steve would have casually drew, and you couldn’t help but imagine him drawing that very image from memory. 

‘Y/N, I-’ Sam cleared his throat, smiling at you. 

‘Would you like to know the sex of the baby?’

‘Yes, please,’ you answered, gripping Sam’s hand harder. 

The doctor moved the generator a few times more, hitting the spacebar on the computer to capture the image. ‘Congratulations, you’re having a boy.’

You shuttered a tiny laugh as Sam flew out of his seat, arms extended upward for a moment before he brought his hands down to kiss them over and over. 

‘I’ll print this out for you,’ the doctor smiled, leaving you and Sam to celebrate. 

`

Everyone had gathered later that night to find out the news. You had printed enough copies for everyone who wanted one. Bets were placed, a multitude of gifts already mounted in online shopping carts. 

‘Don’t keep us waiting!’ Rhodey shouted, champagne bottle at the ready and propped up on his thigh for when you made your announcement. 

Sam was standing beside you, a massive grin plastered on his face. You rolled your eyes at him and urged him on, telling him that you were fine with him saying it. Sam didn’t need to be told twice. 

‘It’s a boy!’

Pop! Drinks were poured and hugs were shared, with even Friday coming over the monitor to congratulate you. 

Even in the midst of all the excitement, you felt a little empty. But you enjoyed your pre-baby shower, happy that everything was so unbelievably working out. 

It was midnight when you alerted Friday to call Happy to your room. You needed a ride. 

Happy was slightly irritated at being woken up, but once you told him where you were heading, he obliged. The ride was silent, comfortable, with Happy glancing at you once in a while to make sure you were okay. 

You walked across the grass slowly, hands resting on your stomach and just a little waddle in your walk. You flashed your phone light over the headstones even though the headstone you were looking for was in a secluded area. Happy trailed you, keeping a respectable distance. 

You stopped in front of the small building, the fence somewhat blocking your path. But there was no security around, and even if you were caught on camera, your face let everyone know who you were and your connection to Steve. You had no worries. 

You broke the lock easily and opened the door. It was almost entirely marble, a good deal of Steve’s actual aesthetic. So simple, not overly patriotic, and secluded. He had refused to be buried in Arlington. 

You sat on the bench provided, the three names in front of you standing out like they were begging to be read out loud. So you complied. 

‘Sarah,’ you muttered, smiling as the name rolled off your tongue. ‘Thank you for sending everyone a literal angel.’

You muttered his father’s name as well, but felt no personal connection to it. You spent at least ten minutes building up the courage to utter his name, to say his name in front of him again. He was buried right underneath your feet, his name the only thing for you to see. 

‘Steve,’ you sighed and rubbed your stomach. ‘Steve.’

You sobbed silently and watched as the tears fell on top of your resting hands. ‘I don’t regret it.’

You were met with silence. ‘I don’t regret any of it. God knows why he did this. But you lived your life, and I just can’t believe I have to bring life into this world without you here.’

‘It’s a boy, Steve. A lovely little boy.’

You brought your hand up to your mouth to bite the side of it, throat clenching. ‘Everyone is so happy. I am, too. I promise you.’

You lowered your hand back to your stomach. ‘I just wish that you could feel that happiness.’

The moonlight moved slightly, shining on his name brighter now. ‘He’ll know about you, don’t worry about that.’ You laughed. 

You didn’t want to keep Happy waiting. You stood from the bench slowly, feet sore. You walked closer to him, wishing you could easily bend down and give him a kiss. But you physically couldn’t right now, so you blew him one instead. ‘Thank you.’

`

Somehow the rumor got out that an Avenger was pregnant. And when Wanda was seen outside without a large stomach, all fingers were pointed at you. 

The news went ballistic, most positive and raving, while others pondered just who had gotten you pregnant. You had been seen with everyone in paparazzi photos, so no actual conclusion had been made. 

Until a picture of you at Steve’s gravesite was leaked. 

It was constant bombardment, timelines were stitched together, magazines and their headlines were having a field day. Rhodey had tried to cancel these news stories, to threaten lawsuits, but to no avail. The world was now cursing Steve’s name - ‘how dare he leave her while pregnant?’, ‘how could he leave her pregnant and for another woman?’, ‘did he even know?’

The team had done everything in their power to try and clear yours and Steve’s name, but no one was having it. Steve’s love story was now tarnished, with many calling him a traitor and a deadbeat. It was no use. 

You struggled to climb the stairs, inwardly cursing the staff for not installing a ramp instead. The flashes were blinding, the lights were hot, and the various microphones placed on the stand were comical. 

Everyone hushed, looks of sympathy and pity slapping you in the face. 

‘I know what you’re all thinking and what you’ve all been saying,’ you started, eyes wandering to the far corner of the room where your team were huddled. ‘But I need to clear a few things up.’

‘Steve didn’t know.’

The crowd erupted, questions flying at you like fast bullets. They were silenced after a few moments. ‘We shared a moment with each other before we brought everyone back. I didn’t know I was pregnant until after his funeral.’

The crowd murmured amongst each other. ‘He told me he was planning to stay in another timeline. To live his life. I encouraged him. He did not leave me alone and pregnant. He truly didn’t know.’

You finished, they didn’t deserve a deeper explanation. You ignored their calls for questions, some even trying to crowd you at the doors. But you pushed through them, cradling your stomach with a newfound sense of pride. 

`

It was time. 

You sat up in your bed and quickly wiped away the hard crusts from the corners of your eyes. You sat there for a few seconds before you felt another harsh twinge. ‘A-ah!’

You didn’t know why you paused, legs now thrown over the side of the bed. They felt like menstrual cramps, it could be false labor. You let out a heavy breath and pushed yourself up, legs wobbly. But the moment you did, it was like something snapped. Your legs were wet and a tiny puddle had started forming on the floor. 

‘Friday!’

The lights in your room turned on immediately, ‘Y/N, is it time?’

You moaned at the uncomfortable cramping, ‘Yeah, I think it is.’

‘I’m waking and alerting the team right now, Y/N. Sit back down, please.’

You listened to Friday, sitting at the edge of your bed for a few moments before you realized you had to pack a bag. You shuffled across your room and grabbed the duffel bag Scott had left for you a few days ago. You packed a pair of socks, sweats, underwear, vaseline and your toothbrush, hairbrush, and phone. You zipped your bag just in time for both Bucky and Sam to throw open your door, Sam struggling to put his shoes on and Bucky slipping on a jacket inside-out. 

‘Y/N, is it really time? Are you ready? Are you okay?’

You ignored the cramping in your back and laughed at them, ‘Yes! My water broke, I’m in pain, it’s time.’

With both Sam and Bucky at your sides, they held onto you as you all stumbled down the hallway. Thor was already waiting with the elevator open, the biggest smile on his aging face. 

‘Wanda and Bruce are preparing the room. Scott already called the doctor. Clint’s in route,’ Bucky reassured. The three men huddled into the elevator with you, all instructing you to breathe and to squeeze them if you needed to. 

But even though you were in pain, albeit not as extreme as it was going to inevitably get, you were so incredibly happy. They were all so loud, so chaotic, and you were as calm as a cucumber. 

The elevator dinged. ‘Good luck, Y/N,’ you heard Friday call after you. You pinched your eyes closed, the thought that Friday was ultimately a part of Tony’s consciousness - Tony was wishing you good luck. 

The pressure in your hips was starting to build and you didn’t know how long this would actually take. Some people had quick births, some people lay in labor for hours, some for a day. But it seemed like this was going to be pretty quick, because your next scream was completely involuntarily. 

Bucky winced, leading you to the bed Wanda had just lay sheets on. ‘You’re doing great, Y/N. Absolutely perfect.’

You laughed at Bucky and gripped his hand in silent thanks before slipping into the bed and trying to get comfortable. Before you could truly feel like you made it, like the first hard step was done, you sat up quickly. 

‘Wait, wait! Nat’s sweater! I was gonna wear Nat’s sweater!’

Thor was already out the door, ‘I’ll get it! Don’t worry!’

You smiled at the ceiling, beads of sweat now rolling down your forehead. ‘Oh, this hurts!’

It was an hour. Once you shimmied into Natasha’s purple knitted sweater, you lay there trying to control your breathing. Everyone had piled into the room one right after the other. The room was big enough, spacious enough for even Bruce to roam freely. Although you were in an immense amount of pain, you still focused on your team. 

Scott was on his third cup of coffee, sipping excitedly as he conversed with the others. Bruce was constantly checking your vitals and wanting everything the doctor was saying repeated. Wanda was beside you, a hand gripping yours and the other running ice chips along your lips. Bucky was on your other bedside wearing one of Steve’s sweatshirts because it still smelled like him. His logic was that if he was wearing something of Steve’s the first moment he held your baby, then the first thing he smelled would be the remnants of his father. 

And Thor was practically speechless, silent in his own little corner and feeling like the god’s really did bless everyone in this room after such turmoil.

Clint arrived with Peter trailing behind him just when the doctor instructed you sit up - you were at ten centimeters. 

‘You gotta push, Y/N! You gotta push when the doctor says push!’

You yelled until your lungs gave out, head almost rolling back but Sam held it in his palm. ‘C’mon, Y/N! You’re doing great!’

You usually had perfect pitch when you sang, never faltering when it was time to hit a high note. But your voice was cracking at the most unusual times, throat rubbed raw as you felt your hips splinter open. 

‘He’s crowning!’

Wanda traded places with Sam real quick, deciding that she wanted to see the baby when he was finally out. Bucky had a death grip on your hand, tears flowing freely and a smile to match Thor’s. 

‘Push, Y/N! Push!’

‘I’m-I’m! I’m sorry! I can’t!’

The doctor was working her hands around the head, trying to ease the baby out easier. ‘Trust me, Y/N. One more big push and the shoulders will be out. That’s the hardest part.’

The doctor’s words were starting to drown out, and your head lolled back again. You felt tiny smacks on your cheeks, ‘C’mon, Y/N. You can do this. Everyone believes in you. You’re so goddamn strong, Y/N!’

That was Bucky’s voice. Bucky. 

You opened your eyes, delirious for a second. ‘Steve?’

Bucky whimpered and nodded, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing kisses all over. ‘He’s here. I feel him, Y/N. You can do this.’

And you could feel him. You could see your family but you could feel him. It was so light, like a gentle whisk across the cheek, a promise that this truly was a miracle. 

You screamed as you pushed under doctor’s orders, feeling numb and abused but satisfied. His shoulders slipped out and along with them came his arms and torso, legs and all ten toes. The doctor caught him quickly, lifting him up vertically to let you see him. He was already crying. 

‘He’s here!’

You sobbed and smiled widely, laughter rattling your chest as the team bombarded you with quick hugs. Sam remained at your side, his eyes motioning for Bucky to go see the baby. 

‘Who’s cutting the cord?’

You looked around the room but you knew. You answered the doctor’s question. ‘Bucky.’

Bucky was truly confused. Not because of your decision, but because he couldn’t possibly be worthy of this. His hands, those hands that had killed so many people involuntarily, had almost killed Steve, those hands were now gripping a pair of medical scissors to cut the symbolization of new life entering the world. He turned to you for permission one last time, before he gripped the cord in his hand and cut where the doctor pointed. 

His shoulders felt a million times lighter. Like he was set free all over again. 

They cleaned the baby up quickly and swaddled him. The doctor placed him in your arms, all warm and utterly safe, to look back up at you with the same blue eyes as his father. 

You sobbed happily, brushing your fingers delicately along his pink cheek. ‘Hi. Hi there.’

He was no longer crying, just staring up in pure astonishment at the various faces staring back at him. 

‘Y/N, he’s beautiful,’ Clint said, tissue already in hand. 

‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ you spoke softly. 

‘Do we have a name?’

It was like everyone said it in unison. ‘Steve.’

You snuggled into the bed and Natasha’s sweater, somewhat aware of the doctor still fixing you up down there. You would try feeding later, but for now your newborn needed to be passed around the group and be awed at. 

You carefully guided him to Bucky, holding his head gently in your palm. Bucky took him, arms instinctively curling in the correct position. Once Bucky had him in his arms, it was like everything that happened in the world was worth it. Absolutely everything. 

Bucky watched in fascination as the baby curled deeper in his chest, little fist clutching Steve’s sweatshirt. He took the sweetest little intake of air…

`

xxMoni

[pepperful-qt]

hello!! i saw that your requests are open so,,, anyways, can you please make a hcs of kenma, kuroo and any other hq boys u like and their reaction when their s/o sends a video of them with i love you written on their cheeks? thank u and always take care!! ♡♡

this is so cute what🥺 almost went with Suna but decided on Tendou bc i just did something for him recently! & he deserves something like this tbh

Kenma, Kuroo, & Tendou when their s/o sends a surprise video with ‘i love you’ written on their cheeks 

*****

Kenma

you don’t send it to him in when he’s in public which he is thankful for

you do, however, send it out of nowhere. no special occasion or anything, which makes it so much more special to him tbh

you guys are video chatting while playing minecraft or stardew valley if you’re like me (or another online game of your choice) and you pause yourself and say you’re going to the bathroom or smth and mute your mic

it’s not really a big deal, so he doesn’t think too much on it and just continues building his redstone mechanism or w/e 

until he gets a notification from you

his first thought is that you ran out of toilet paper and he’s like why would you text me we’re not even in the same house-

but, that’s not what he sees. instead, it’s you in one of his hoodies that you stole 

you painted your nose and drew cat whiskers, with ‘i love you’ as the top whisker on each cheek and two lines beneath so cute wth

he thinks so too

it’s a short and sweet message, but clearly something you put thought into

but-

achievement unlocked! you broke him

seriously, he stops breathing for the entire video

he’s an absolute blushing MESS currently pulling up his hoodie to cover his face. pulling the drawstrings and everything

direct affection like this always makes him flustered. always

which is why it’s so cute hehe

he’s not much for pda or anything so you take your chances where you get em

little did he know, you were hiding just off camera where you could see the whole thing and you are currently 🥺

you just hear your name in an exasperated groan from the call

“y/nnnnnn” muffled by his hoodie ofc

you’re smiling like an idiot bc✨mission accomplished✨

“hehehe did you like it?” 

you still have the makeup on and his soul leaves his body

“why would you do that to me?”

“awww can’t you read?”

more blushy blushy 

he wants to hug you or hold you so bad in that moment like it’s absolute torture

and next time he sees you, oh boy is he stuck to you like glue. good luck getting him off you ever

* * *

Kuroo

you decide to drop this on him while he’s en route to nationals. you weren’t able to come until the second day for school or work reasons, but you still wanted to show your support for your bf, esp for something so important to him!

you know he’s the type to keep his phone on dnd or airplane mode while he’s on long trips, as he prefers to sleep or read in peace

and you use this information to plan the perfect surprise! you send the video during his trip so he’ll see it when he’s going through notifications when he finally arrives

you tell/bribe Kenma to record his reaction for you too, which he may or may not do

your relationship with Kuroo has always been one of teasing and banter. for pet names you call each other ‘babe’ or ‘sweetheart’ as easily as ‘dork’ or ‘dumbass’

so it’s very very amusing to him when you start the video with “hey dummy~” while you have ‘i love you’ written in red on one cheek and ‘Nekoma #1′ on the other

the moment he sees you this guy has the biggest stupidest grin on his face. not even in a smug or cocky way, just completely lovestruck

he’s doing that thing where he covers part of his face with his hand and shakes his head a little bc he finds you so adorable

the video is actually really sweet with you hoping he got to the inn safely and wishing him good luck, and promising him a special kiss if he wins so you can see him play the second day

talk about motivation ammirite ;)

and your surprise works; he’s totally caught off guard

by the end of the video the genuine grin definitely turned devious lol, and he’s not one to blush easily, but you definitely got him a lil bit

some of his teammates heard a very ominous giggle from their captain, and his expression is even more disturbing

no one who asks is allowed to see, you're for his eyes only, but he does brag about the wonderful video his s/o sent him

excuses himself immediately so he can facetime you

if you’re still wearing it he just starts laughing again, and try as he might he can’t stop smiling

says some stupid cocky playful line

“hey baby, you got something you wanna tell me?” or “looks like you can’t contain your love for me” smh

partially scolds you for trying to catch him off guard (in public) 

“i love you too but you’ll regret that” etc

okay this mf is suggestive af fill in the rest

you better be looking forward to more than just a kiss when he sees you is all i’m saying

* * * 

Tendou

happens at like 1-2am on a school night when you’re both texting memes back and forth bc you enable each other

and tbh you’re feeling a bit delirious,, like at this point you’re actually laughing irl at the stupidest things he sends and muttering to yourself

so once the idea pops into your head your impulse control may as well not exist

he doesn’t really notice your absence too much, just keeps sending da memes. in fact he’s spamming so much he doesn’t even notice what you do send LOL

so you’re sitting there like 👉👈 waiting for him to react,, until eventually you’re like: ‘hellooo?? did you see what i sent??’

LEAVES YOU ON READ LMAOO before a keyboard smash and then silence

bc he is freaking out

like Kenma’s, it’s a cute, sweet message where you’re just gushing about how much you love him

it’s a little rambly and your words are a bit slurred but that just makes it all the more endearing

“tendou~~ look i just love you so much i need the whole world to know!!” while pointing to your cheeks

poor bby is about to cry fr he's overwhelmed

he’s just watching it over and over again like🥺🥺🥺

and you’re back to waiting for a reaction and you’re starting to feel a little silly. you’d already accepted that he’d tease you over it but now you’re embarrassed--

but you know what? he sends his own video back, with 'i love you my angel!' haphazardly scribbled on his forehead 

“y/n~~~” he’s totally mocking you “i can’t believe you love me so much you’re gonna make me cry~” doesn’t mention he already did a bit “i can’t believe i’ve been blessed with such an angel--” 

he’s just going on and on until he hits the video size cap

congratulations you’ve absolutely ruined each other at 2am and you have a test tomorrow and he has morning practice

but do either of you care? no

he cannot stop smiling the next day he’s just glowing and is just all over you

and you didn’t realize you’d written in sharpie so there’s still a little bit visible that you tried and failed to hide with concealer

he’ll never let you live that down😌😘

*****

THIS REQUEST MADE ME SO SOFT WRITING IT JFC😭

[madmadmilk]

girl will u be sharing the whole meeting tom experience like what did he say what did he smell like i know very creepy but IM SO CURIOUS HDHDHDH

OKAY, STORY-TIME ––> long read with reaction pics

first thing, WOW. he had a crazy, crazy, crazy long-ass schedule. he was in LA saturday, and philly on sunday by 9 AM? probably? then i knew his projected schedule was panel from 10-10:45, 11pm photo op, 1 pm autograph, 3 pm photo op, 4 pm autograph. totally stacked! i signed up for the photos at 3 cos that’s easier for me….

little did i know… how long it would take……………….…

so, his whole schedule got pushed like an hour-ish back? like no real consequence to me, but it made me feel really anxious and just like, whew, thinking that he kept a smile on for like hours & hours. and all i could think of was that i hope he had like an iced coffee or like food or something cos that’s CRAZY. but yeah–––– i got to pass the time with some tumblr friends :) ( @spidey-waffles11 & @seamless-hart ) and my boyfriend but he’s whatever 😛

but OK time rolls up (4:50 PM), i get in line–– and i’m there for SO LONG. but it was ok cos i was talking to this dad & daughter and they were really nice. there were some like super  young girls behind me and they had like cute matching spider-man shirts but i was still looking at them like 🙂 . a part of me felt really extra cos i was really out there with false lashes and a BRIGHT RED dress. for reference, i looked like this:

cute, i know. this is my armor, and even tho a part of me felt kinda flashy and garrish…. i don’t care! it makes me feel CONFIDENT! but yeah–– do, do, do~ we get through the line, drop off our bags and i feel like we went through a mini-maze of black curtains and then––

HE WAS FUCKING RIGHT THERE THROUGH THE OPEN DOORWAY! i like turned the corner, and was kinda looking to my side at the lady directing and then to the family in front of me–– and then he was there. idk what i expected but i was just like 😦

ok, ok, ok so i think maybe he was looking up to see how many people were next but i’m going to just sit here and believe that MY RED-ASS DRESS caught his eye cos he literally:

looked at ME, then to the family in front of me as they came to him, but back at me as i walked over to wait. he raised his eyebrows and i smiled back and like, i think he looked at my hand cos i was like holding my wrist cos i was like, “oohhhh shit how the fuck do i stand like a regular person” but yeah either way it was like a back and forth–– that i’m probably romanticizing ALL HELL out of. but i was watching him so-– I SAW WHAT I SAW lol. 

and then the family left and i still waited cos i’m polite like that and then he like waved his arm for me to come over and i was like 😧. then i think i literally hopped over and like rolled my shoulders back cos yeah and i smiled soooo hard and i think all i managed to say was , “heeey” 

“hi! hello––” he waves me over again and i slide next to him while laughing. 

i’m pretty sure i bit my fucking lip and like... no, no one does that in real life. god dammit.

“how are you?” i TRY to ask in a exasperated voice

and i think he just said, “yeah” (cos we were moving really fast it’s ok) and looked forward lmao

but i like was able to look at his face and i was literally like 😫 . what bb cream are you using sis???? it was too fast, i didn’t really absorb anything haha. but wow his lips really look like that i guess haha and i really fit into his side, like alright bro. this is where i belong i guess.

and cos of the time crunch of being super, super late i didn’t really get to talk to him cos it was just like photo time. i didn’t have a pose in mind, i just wanted to be WITH him that’s it.

so i put my hand around his waist and wow he’s lean! and he carries himself super tall, if that makes sense. he stands up pretty straight? but relaxed at the same time? and i think his hand was like on my upper back, near my shoulder but TBH i don’t KNOW. i just felt him press next to me. 

uh, everyone keeps asking me what he smells like but i’m pretty sure i didn’t breathe until he let go. and then i was like, “ ah, soap. “

but after the flash of the photo i like turned to him and jfc i was really close. i’m kinda used to standing that close cos my bf is that height but 😬 . he smiled at me and just quickly said.

“hi, thank you so much for coming out.” 

and i was like, “no, thank you!” and he kinda guided my back to the direction of the exit and i was like 😣 and i think???? i called back to say, “take care!” but maybe that was just my brain idk

but then?????? he walked next to me for a second? like we walked to the exit together and i was like??????? like there people in the corner i was passing, and he stopped by them. i looked at him again and he smiled and nodded at me.

this was me: 👀

hahahah and then he grabbed a water bottle someone offered to him and i heard him say,

“can you get my bag..? and grab my air pods”

and i like audibly laughed as i left, idk why that was just so funny to me. like there you go rich king. good! for! you!

and WOW. the family from before waited for me and they were like, “how was it?”

hahah and it was so lame cos i was suddenly BLUSHING so fucking hard like 30 seconds after it all happened hahahahahahahah ok but i couldn’t stop thinking about how he like looked at me in the doorway, and even if it doesn’t mean anything imma never let it go hahaha

anyway, he was really nice and his voice was still so excited and lively even tho he’s probably talked to like thousands of people that day. like his charisma was super charming in all of the 20 seconds i really saw him.

lol this is how the photo turned out:

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? i’m really haaaaappy with it! i’m kinda smiling too hard but lol THAT’S TOM FUCKING HOLLAND AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

so ya know, idk if i’ll ever see him like ever again? or if i’ll still always be into him as i have been but–– wow. what an experience to have with the way i am now. hope he’s getting a good night’s rest, and lots of warm hugs from his loved ones! thanks tom! thanks keystone comic con! and thank YOU GUYS for holding me together! 💛

[vagrantblvrd]

Okay, but. Seeing as AH put out a new Thief Simulator video?

A different Thief Simulator AU with Thief Ryan, his little brother Trevor and this Jeremy kid they pick up somewhere along the way?

Because reasons.

Half-brother AU where their parents are killed in an accident and they’re about to be separated and that’s just a big hell no. (Their relatives want to split them up - there’s this major divide between their paternal/maternal relatives and each side gets one of them Because Plot Reasons.)

Or maybe they just have shitty parents.

OR foster brother AU where they’re placed in a shitty home together and ~bond, because dorks.

Whichever one it is, Ryan realizes he has to get Trevor and himself out of that situation (Because Plot Reasons) and he’s got this sad savings stash, right?

Grabs that and Trevor and gets as far away from their living situation as they can on his savings, which happens to be Los Santos.

They have enough money for a crappy motel room or something for a few days/week, but after that they’re flat broke.

Ryan can’t get a legit job because paperwork/IDs and all that, and look, okay, look.

They’re both idiot kids and maybe Ryan saw things coming long before he took Trevor and ran. Maybe he gave up his pipe dreams of theater and Vinewood because some things (people) are more important than that. (And anyway, he wasn’t that good, according to the shitty parents/foster parents/whoever.)

SO.

He did a few...less than legal things where they used to live, unsavory things that paid well enough. More than some part-time job at a fast food joint anyway.

Enough to get him and Trevor half-way across the country in a city where people who don’t want to be found won’t be. Enough to pay for a place to live until he finds something better here, so. (You do what you got to do and all that.)

Trevor knows Something Is Up (beyond the obvious, because he’s not that dumb, even for a kid) but all Ryan will tell him is that a buddy got him a gig out here, right?

Things will be tight until Ryan gets paid, so just hold on until then.

And then Ryan goes out and Thieves, while Trevor is left to his own devices.

Ryan sets him up at some community center or some such. Something with enough scienc-y shit to keep him occupied enough he won’t think to ask too many questions about what kind of work Ryan’s doing and so on.

Trevor is Not Fooled, but ooh, hey, is that a model rocket kit???? (And so on.)

Ryan breathes a little easier knowing Trevor’s safe(ish) because the community center is the right kind of sketchy.

(They know Something Is Up with Ryan and Trevor, but whatever trouble those kids are in, it’s not anything on Ryan’s end. Trevor’s a smart kid, no way in hell would he adore his brother the way he does if he was a bad guy, and there’s something too familiar about how twitchy Ryan is when it comes to looking after Trevor, so. Safe-ish.)

One day Trevor wanders away from the science-y shit to the gym area.

No one’s supposed to be down there this time of day without someone to supervise, but he’s stumped on something or frustrated with Ryan’s vague non-answers and needs some time to think. Not about to throw himself at the exercise equipment and so on down there, you know?

Just. Thinking room, right?

Only someone’s already there.

Short kid, maybe around Trevor’s age - he’s short, it’s dark with most of the lights off and it’s hard to tell.

This kid is pounding away at the punching bag or using the gymnastics equipment like he’s trying to tire himself out. (Demons of his own, or who even knows.)

Trevor is like “Oops, so sorry, I’ll just get out of your way, sorry again,” but the kid is like,

“Get out of here!”

Which -

“Pardon me?”

Trevor should leave, but the kid’s just being rude and it’s uncalled for and honestly, who the hell does he think he is?

And the kid, it’s like a reflex. Not really thinking about what he’s saying, but he says it anyway because it works on most people. Has them heading the other way without more of a fuss, but this tall lanky asshole just gets this bitch-face.

And that’s how Trevor and Jeremy meet, and Trevor may or may not give as good as he gets when Jeremy sasses him, right? Tries to get him to get out of the gym so Jeremy can work off his anger/frustration, but Trevor is Not Having It.

Somehow, Jeremy finds himself showing Trevor how to box, or walking him through basic gymnastic...things. (Warm-ups/super basic routines, idk, something if we’re going the gymnastics route.)

Ryan finds them like that when he comes to get Trevor, one of the community center’s employees/volunteers with him because they thought they lost Trevor and oh shit, that’s a Problem. isn’t it?

And oh, oh, oh, if it’s the boxing/fighting route they walk in on Trevor punching Jeremy in the face by accident, right?

Trevor focused on throwing a punch the correct way, and Jeremy looking over when he hears the gym doors open, and it all ends in Jeremy getting punched in the face, okay?

Trevor’s aborted ‘woo-hoo!’ when he realizes oh shit, I punched Jeremy, oh shit he’s bleeding?

“Why are bleeding you ass you said you knew what you were doing!!! RYAN HELP.”

Ryan and the employee/volunteer rushing over because Jeremy’s a sweet kid but he’s a loner - got all this anger to him and pushes people away - and they think Trevor and Jeremy are fighting and it’s a mess -

Up until they realize Jeremy’s laughing.

Nose gushing blood with Trevor fluttering over him all genuine concern and terror and these two Adults (semi-adult in Ryan, but close enough) rushing over and it’s so ridiculous? (Because he’s a little confused by Trevor still, okay. Thinks he could like him but mostly ??? because Trevor is Odd.)

And now Jeremy’s going to get into trouble - doesn’t matter if he and Trevor were getting along or anything, he knows what this has to look like.

Jeremy’s a Trouble Kid and the guy he doesn’t recognize (Trevor’s brother?) looks pissed. (Worried.)

The employee/volunteer looks annoyed - no one’s supposed to down here, let alone fighting - and he knows how it looks, so yeah.

But then Trevor’s babbling about breaking Jeremy’s nose and “Ryan, Ryan, I didn’t mean to and oh, God, I broke his nose. Who does that, Ryan? A bad friend, that’s who.“

This “Ryan” stops short, blinks at Trevor who is still babbling and then at Jeremy and -

“Well, I mean,” Ryan says, looking at Jeremy who’s trying to stop the bleeding while the community center employee/volunteer veers off to get paper towels or whatever now they know Trevor and Jeremy aren’t trying to kill one another. “Doesn’t look like you drove the bone into his brain, so that’s good?”

What the actual fuck.

Ryan gives them this tentative little grin, because Jeremy’s mind is off the pain - no seriously, what the actual fuck - and Trevor is just ??? and !!! at Ryan and the thought he could have killed Jeremy???

“Okay, no, no,” Jeremy says, voice all weird because nose and bleeding and ow. “That’s a myth. You can’t actually kill someone that way. Please stop thinking you almost killed me Trevor, omg, no.”

(Jeremy knows this because little kids and fascination with morbid shit. His boxing instructor/whatever he had before his life turned to shit was a Good Person who was fast to quash that one before his students broke each other’s noses trying to see if said myth was true, jfc what is wrong with these little monsters???)

And Ryan, okay.

Supposed Responsible Adult Ryan looks almost disappointed by that news.

Which.

Again, what the actual fuck.

And that’s how Jeremy meets Ryan.

And then!

Guilty!Trevor insists he and Ryan stay with Jeremy until his guardians or whoever pick him up even though Jeremy is trying to get them to NOT do the thing?

But they do.

(Ryan is suspicious as to why Jeremy’s so insistent they not bother - has a Bad Feeling about it because he’s very much Not Concerned at Trevor and Ryan meeting his Guardians, you know? The way Ryan is whenever anyone asks about parents and the whatnot.)

They wait and wait and wait, but no one comes to get Jeremy and eventually he’s like, well shit.

The buses stopped running a while ago and it’s a hell of a long walk (through Bad Neighborhoods) to get home and goddammit.

“Hey,” Ryan says, because Trevor is giving him The Eyes, all Concerned about his new friend and Ryan is likewise Concerned, but also trying to be Cold-hearted, Totally Not His Problem. “We’re not that far away from where the two of us are staying.”

Just an observation, definitely not an offer or anything.

Same goes for this all-night diner next to the motel, and the food he gets for them. (Accidentally orders the wrong thing, but tells the waitress not to worry, but could he also get this other order too? Slides the “mistake order” to Trevor - he’s a growing kid, gotta eat and all that, and if he splits the extra food with Jeremy none of his business.)

By the time they get to the motel it’s too late for someone Jeremy’s age to be walking around at night alone, so he can share with Trevor and Ryan’s got work in the morning, so just keep quiet, okay?

(If they happen to stop by the diner again in the morning on the way to the community center and Ryan orders too much food he foists off on the others, well. They’re new to town, how is he supposed to know how big the portions are at this particular diner??? Don’t waste the food, brats.)

And then Jeremy just kind of gets lumped in with Trevor when it comes to people Ryan will protect to the death and all that and so on and so forth.

Problem is, as Trevor and Jeremy become better friends it means trouble for Ryan.

First in the shenanigans they get into together, and then when Trevor mentions one of Ryan’s bosses - he has a lot of part-time jobs or some such, whatever it is Ryan tells Trevor - and one day he mentions a name Jeremy knows.

Has Jeremy being all oh no because it means Ryan is up to Shady Shit and Trevor doesn’t know. (For certain.)

Can’t keep it to himself for forever - Trevor picks up on it faster than anyone would like - and they confront Ryan.

Trevor angry and betrayed - not that Ryan’s doing illegal shit, that he’s...kind of okay with, just. More that Ryan didn’t trust him with the truth when Trevor’s the reason they’re in Los Santos at all.

(He’s not, at least the whole reason, but Ryan couldn’t leave Trevor behind knowing what he’d leave him to, and anyway, he could have done this better. Gotten Trevor somewhere he’d thrive, get to live his life the way he’s supposed to but he fucked up and now everything’s fucked and just. Fuck.)

Poor Jeremy is nervous and scared - Trevor and Ryan gave him his first real safe-ish space he’s had in a while and he fucked that up - because hey, way to go, Dooley.

There’s a lot of blame and recriminations being thrown around - misunderstanding and the like - and Angst until someone is like wait, wait.

Because Trevor, no, this isn’t your fault. And Ryan, no, Trevor doesn’t hate you. And Jeremy, no, no one’s mad at you.

Lots of Talking and Listening and Feels and then like.

“Okay, no. I’m taking you two with me to work, for fuck’s sake.”

Because Ryan is out Thieving and dear God, no, Trevor and Jeremy are too young for that. (He wants them to go to school and better themselves and like hell is he getting involved in his shit.)

But you know, stubborn assholes.

So.

Compromise???

When he has spare money he rigs up a comms for them - something like that anyway - where they can listen in and backseat Thieve with him while he’s out working. (Something he upgrades as he gets better at his job and can afford better equipment.)

In return Trevor and Jeremy do the School Thing, but mostly to appease Ryan and learn things to help Ryan get better/one day help him out.

Because Plot Reasons.

Everyone kind of knows what’s going on - Ryan’s not that stupid but at least they’re not in the thick of things (yet) and maybe he can go back to a legit job some day? (???)

And then!

And then they find out Ryan’s met Other Thieves. This Gavin prick and his friend Meg and Michael’s out there too and idk, just. People who give Ryan shit and kind of coo over how adorable he is when it comes to his little brother and his asshole friend. (Also, they watch Ryan’s back and the like, helped him get out of scrapes here and there and vice versa.)

Also, also, how hard it was getting him to admit to having a little brother, that’s how closemouthed he was about it. (How serious he is about keeping Trevor, and then Jeremy safe.)

And when Jeremy’s shitty guardians enter the picture it’s thanks to Gavin and the others that things don’t turn into a shitshow - Ryan’s great, okay. Protective as hell but he’s still new to the city, doesn’t know the people they do or have the favors they can call in, and anyway, anyway.

They get Jeremy out of his living situation and with Trevor and Ryan and a decent place to live and everyone’s better off than they started.

Maybe Ryan continues with his life of crime with Trevor and Jeremy following along behind, or maybe not, idk which I like better?

But everyone gets the happily ever after they deserve whichever way things go for them.

...and then, of course, at some point Matt happens.

Either Trevor and Jeremy find him somewhere along the line, or Ryan stumbles over him in one of the houses he burgles.

This kid who is like “Oh, hey. A burglar. Cool.” and does absolutely nothing to protect himself. Doesn’t even run to safety, what the fuck Matt? What if Ryan had a gun?

What if he was one of those assholes who didn’t care who they hurt? You stupid asshole.

And he brings Matt home - look, idk, it happens at some point, okay. Maybe Ryan keeps “burgling” Matt’s place to check up on him and his parents are never home? (Rich assholes off on business trips and the whatnot too busy/self-absorbed to bother with their kid. Maybe they’re legit, maybe they’re involved in one of the crews around town, who knows.)

Ryan fucking steals him too, along with the routers and alarm clocks and busts and drops him on Trevor and Jeremy and is like, “He’s your problem now.”

The two of them are Rightfully Concerned because RYAN, NO but then they get Matt’s story out of him and are like okay, no. Never mind, RYAN, YES and that’s how Trevor and Jeremy get their Myatt.

ALSOALSOALSO: Imagine the romcom matchmaker shenanigans the Stream Team get into RE Ryan and his ~coworkers, okay.

Ryan being like, NO STOP OMG NO while they try to set him up with Gavin, or Gavin and Meg, or whoever else.

The misunderstandings in which they try to set him up with someone he’s actually NOT interested in in a romantic way - and vice versa on said person’s part - but goddamn does said person think it’s hilarious when they find out what’s been going on.

(The way Ryan kind of hates to say worked when he does get together with whoever he does like in a romantic way knowing the Stream Team will never let him live it down.)

...not to mention the way “Stream Team” works really well for what Trevor, Jeremy, and Matt call themselves while they Backseat Thieve!Ryan via coms/~magical tech? (lololol /o\)

And like.

Everyone’s in here at some point, like.

OMG.

Cop/fed Fredo and his kid sister/whatever Fiona who befriends the Stream Team and the shenanigans from that because hey, Ryan’s kind of on the Most Wanted List as this Infamous Cat Burglar and Fredo’s part of a task force to bring him in and lolol Fiona figures everything out and pretends not to know anything just to fuck with them.

Fredo also figures shit out and is like.

DENY EVERYTHING. (And omgomgomg, he and Ryan have a thing??? IDK, I’m all over the place with this but I am dying at the potential for the whole ~star-crossed romance bs, I kid you not. /o\)

[everymovie2020]

Godzilla (2014)

Date watched: 1 September 2019

After the 10/10 banger that was Godzilla: King of the Monsters, I decided to revisit the “original” (in this series) Godzilla, which I have only seen one time before.  Ultimately it was a Sunday afternoon and I just wanted something brainless with a bunch of big, scary monsters knocking shit down and this movie really filled that hole in my life.  Also, it helped give some context to what was going on in G:KOTM because I was a bit confused.

Plot:

So the whole idea of this franchise is that there are these big monsters lying dormant under the surface of the earth, just waiting to burst forth and fuck shit up.

Except for Kong – he lives above ground.  He’s chill like that (and trapped on an island). Also, he doesn’t breathe fire or fly like so many of these other creatures do.

In this movie, some miners in the Philippines unleash these mootoos.   And look, I could google what the actual spelling is, but I think it’s funnier for the purpose of this review if I just refer to them as mootoos, like they’re some kind of giant cow creature.

So this one mootoo flits over to Japan where it sets up shop in a nuclear power plant and proceeds to chow down on radiation (they eat radiation.  I don’t really get it).  In the course of this, Bryan Cranston’s wife, Juliette Binoche, dies (they worked at the power plant) and he goes a bit nutso about it.  I mean, seeing your wife die a horrible death will do that to you, probably.

Fast forward some years into the future. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is SUPER HOT and the grown-up version of Bryan Cranston and Juliette Binoche’s son. He’s married to Elizabeth Olsen (Wanda and Pietro Maximoff, shacking up) and they have a kid who I’m pretty sure is one of the kids from It?  The one with the asthma inhaler?  I’ve definitely seen the kid from this movie in other subsequent movies.  Or TV shows.  He could be one of the kids in Single Parents.

Anyway, ATJ comes home from the navy, then has to immediately leave because Bryan Cranston is up to some fuckery in Japan and has been arrested.  So he goes over there, they break into their old town near the power plant that was mootoo’d, figure out some shady shit is going on, and then the mootoo chooses that exact moment to wake up and head off across the Pacific, not before killing a bunch of people and Bryan Cranston.

So ATJ catches a flight to Hawaii, trying to get back to San Francisco, and wouldn’t you bloody know it, that pesky mootoo has picked itself up a tasty snack in the form of a nuclear submarine (no word on any survivors, I’m guessing no – jfc so many people die in these movies) and is partaking in that tasty snack on Oahu in the mountains overlooking Waikiki.

Because of course.

There are thousands of islands in the Pacific, but it chooses the most populated.  Hollywood just wanted to see Oahu fucked up, I swear to god.  I mean sure it’s less cinematic if they follow the mootoo to some random island and nobody gets killed, but like, the civilian casualties, guys.  Think about the civilian casualties.

So ATJ is on a monorail to the airport (I don’t remember seeing that when I was in Hawaii, but then I didn’t transfer from the domestic to the international terminal), and this kid gets separated from his parents so ATJ is like, I’ll look after you lil’ bud, but then the army pissess off the mootoo enjoying its tasty snack, and it decides to fuck up the airport.  Specifically the airport where ATJ is currently located.

I swear to god, in this movie, ATJ is a harbinger of doom.

Meanwhile, over at Waikiki beach, who should roll in but ol’ Godzilla, bringing with him a tsunami because, of course?  Like I get that you’re a gigantic monster, Godzy, but can you cool it with the tsunamis?

Anyway, the Hilton Hawaiian Village gets fucked up guys, which is disappointing.  Actually, it’s weird watching this now and recognising landmarks?  I don’t think that’s ever happened for me before in a movie set in America.  I was watching it going, hey, I’ve been there!  Look, I was kind of hoping for a shot of Godzilla stomping on the Moana Surfrider (we did NOT like that hotel), but clearly the Hilton had some advertising in this movie because it was getting jacked up all over the place.

So we have a Godzilla/mootoo showdown in the middle of Waikiki, and then the mootoo buggers off and Godzilla is like “grr” “grumble grumble” “grrrrrrr” (insert various Godzilla noises here). And then, for reasons unknown to me, both the mootoo and Godzilla decide to head for San Francisco.

THERE ARE PARTS OF THE WESTERN SEABOARD WITHOUT MASSIVE CITIES ON THEM, YOU STUPID MONSTERS.  I mean, you’re having these fights in the middle of the cities, knocking buildings on each other, like, that’s got to hurt a bit.  I’m just thinking about the wellbeing of the monsters, that’s all.

Meanwhile in Nevada, the other mootoo (yeah there’s another one that can’t fly, is female, is laden with eggs and wants to fuck some shit up) barrels right through the Las Vegas strip because OF COURSE IT DOES, because there’s NO EMPTY DESERT OUT THERE OR ANYTHING.

I mean, I get it, but also at the same time… WHY DO THEY KEEP SOLELY FOCUSING ON FUCKING UP CITIES?

So ATJ gets involved with the army again, and they have this plan to lure the mootoos and Godzilla out to sea with nuclear warheads that they can eat.  But of course the mootoo gets wind of this plan, purely because it’s lurking around waiting for someone to give it a tasty, tasty nuclear warhead, thwarts the plan, steals the warhead and nicks off to San Francisco.

But don’t worry guys, because the military have figured out that Godzilla is actually a good guy.  All three monsters converge in San Francisco – a city they don’t evacuate, by the way, despite knowing the monsters are all headed there – and proceed to have an all-out brawl.  While this is going on, a hero bus driver saves a bunch of children before the Golden Gate bridge is annihilated, Elizabeth Olsen hides underground (don’t really know how she didn’t die, tbh) and ATJ skydives into the city with a group of army dudes to retrieve the nuke and continue with the plan of sending it out to sea.

Actually, the scenes when they’re parachuting in are really spectacular.

But all you really need to know is that our hero, Godzilla, takes out to the two mootoos, has a bit of a snoozle then heads back out to sea, on his merry way, to do whatever it is Godzilla’s do when they’re off the clock.

Other random thoughts:

It felt like this movie was very dark, because all the action happens at night.  I think the scenes in Las Vegas are the only destruction scenes that take place during daylight.

What does Godzilla EAT? He’s a big, rotund boi!

You know how they’re making Gozilla vs Kong, well… whose side am I supposed to be on?  Because they’re both good guys.

I’m probably on Kong’s side.  NGL.

And is ATJ going to be in that movie?  Fingers crossed

Look I just think he’s hot. It was nice to have a bit of eye candy.

[meadowmines]

MAG128-130

MAG128: Statement extracted from subject. Jesus H. Christ, Jon.

Not exactly getting the warm fuzzies over any of The Stranger’s peeps surviving the explosion, but other than threateningly dropping off the coffin Breekon Hopeless seems harmless enough on his own. And getting to hear the Breekon and Hope Origin Story, Part 2 was pretty interesting.

Yeah, I didn’t think Daisy was dead. Which begs the question, how the fuck do they get her out of there?

Basira what are you doing, what “leads” are you following up on, is this the shit you got from Elias because I would not trust that any farther than I could throw it with both hands tied behind my back. 

...I gotta wonder if she’s feeling guilty about noping out of the Unknowing? I mean. Nobody could blame her, shit, and the fact that she was able to do it at all is hell of impressive but... yeah, that, and then coming back to “meet the new boss” and sit in an empty office for an hour and then... yeah. 

MAG129: *gently mashes Jon and Martin together* HUG, YOU IDIOTS! HUG!!!

...nope. ffs.

Bog-standard Weird Shit of the Week, one of those tricky ones where it was kind of tough to figure out which Entity’s bullshit it was. I waffled back and forth between The Dark and The Buried for a while, scribbled “¿por que no los dos?” in the margin of the analog-liveblogging notebook, and eventually scratched The Dark out. Yep, given the context of recent events, this is The Buried’s bullshit.

...Oh, so Gertrude and Jan did stop The Buried’s ritual. 

...oh, so Gertrude stopped The Buried’s ritual by yeeting Jan’s dead body into the pit.

...in pieces.

...

...

Thanks. Thanks for that. Good to know. Great. Thanks. I hate it. Jesus Christ, Gertrude.

Oh, but Beholding has graced Jon with an idea that sounds incredibly dangerous and possibly stupid? Cool.

MAG130: Oh goody, an episode just straight up entitled “Meat.” Regarding... a hole full of meat. Great. Rad. Well, I guess we’re going to hear about The Flesh starting shit with--wait no this is Gertrude.

Some stuff about Gnosticism and the Demiurge and--yep, God of the Flesh, cool cool cool cool cool

Yeah, sure, instead of visiting literally any other church in Istanbul, let’s truck out to the abandoned one way out in the middle of fucking nowhere, with no way back to civilization! Good call. ...an old woman leaving, just as she got there. *squint*

So here comes a truckload of meat, some of which is climbing down off the truck on its own (aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha nope nope nope) and pulling the rest of the meat off and JFC LADY NO DON’T WAVE AT THE LONG PIG WTF

(no, I know she didn’t actually do it, but LADY WHAT THE FUCK)

And she gets caught. Chinese guy? Perfect RP English? Oh shit, it’s either John or Tom Han again. Great. So now she’s been drafted to haul meat and throw it into--

[here in my analog liveblogging notebook I have written, in very large letters: MEAT PIT MEAT PIT]

--and throw it into the MEAT PIT. Which turns out to not be a pit per se but--

[here I have crossed out “PIT” and corrected it to “MOUTH” so... MEAT MOUTH MEAT MOUTH]

Okay. Lots of people and... walking meat throwing more meat into the pit and feeding it to some kind of giant meat thing. Clearly this is not good. And more meat trucks are showing up. And walking meats are being fed to the meat thing when they fall down on the job. No. Definitely not good, in fact I would go so far as to say this is a whole-ass ritual going on here.

And... SPLOSIONS yep if this isn’t The Slaughter going full ham to disrupt another Entity’s ritual again, that old lady that was just leaving was Gertrude and how the fuck did she smuggle all that explosive shit to Turkey unless our buddy Adelard just had it there waiting for her?

Well, good thing Lucia doesn’t remember her. That could have been awkward.

Yep, Tom Han. Ugggh. And “Carlisle?” Uhhhhhhhhh. Oh. Right. Toby. Nailing-meat-to-the-walls Toby. That fucking guy. Gertrude isn’t even trying not to sound tickled about the explosives, Jesus.

So. Jon found this tape in his desk drawer, covered in cobwebs. Between that and the spiders eating the dead worms in the tunnels and the lighter... Mr Spider has not forgotten you, Jon. Mr Spider still wants you to come over for dinner, Jon. ahahaha yeek. 

“the siren call of the flesh” or whatever the--oh Jesus. Jon. JON. You’re seriously considering cutting some bit of yourself off to be your “““anchor””” or whatever the fuck. JON NO.

[laylabahiti]

HSHQTASK005: A REFLECTION 

i originally posted this task in march 2017, so almost 3 years ago (wow). i already regret looking at this old one lmao

001. name / age / pronouns

2017: xee / twenty / she, her 2020: xee / twenty-three / she, her — fun fact, mine and evy’s bdays are 2 days apart #taurussquad

002. which character(s) do you play?

2017: my complicated af beaN layla. idek what’s going on with her at this point. 2020: i’m screaming i can’t believe i thought 2017 layla was complicated. i had no idea what was to come. i picked up biel not long after that. also had katalina aka brucey’s wifey n i miss her. juliana is a fairly recent addition and, i’m about to spill the beans, a glücksburg is coming.

003. nationality / ethnicity / timezone

2017: american / lots of white european and the other half o’ me is ashkenazi jewish / right now i’m back and forth between pst and mst. homeland is mst though. 2020: obvs nothing has changed except no more back and forth with timezones. strictly mst now.

004. tell us a bit about your  home state.

2017: it’s the first day of spring and we almost reached 100 degrees F :’) we don’t really have autumn or spring here tho. it’s either hot as balls summer or frozen. no in between. like, as soon as temps get below 70 F people break out their jackets. 2020: welcome to the desert, “it’s a dry heat”

005.  favourite color / fruit / season

2017: green / honeydew melon / spring 2020: still green and all its shades / tbh idk how i chose a fave fruit bc i raaarely eat it but bananas and watermelon too / “spring”

006. favourite books + writer whose writing style you admire the most

2017: this isn’t a fair question smh. i have too many titles and names going through my head at once to answer this. 2020: still no fave so i’m just gonna answer this with what i’m currently reading. it’s called suffer strong and it popped up on my insta feed last week (big brother is listening and they know i’m a stressed mf) cheese moment: i admire all ur writing styles :~)

007. what kinda music do you listen to + any fave bands / musicians

2017: listen to a lil bit of everything. these ‘favorite’ questions are difficult for me to answer 2020: same answer tho i grew up listening to the eagles so they hold a special place in my heart n soul. i get to go see them in a couple months (hopefully w my dad) and i’m v excited

008. what are you doing for a living / what are you studying?

2017: lmAO well rn i work in the kitchen of a gas station (sah classy). 2020: went from working in the store to working in corporate *finger guns* apparently i never said what i was studying but i was still in school then. justice studies with a minor in military leadership and certifications in human rights and socio-legal studies. then i studied astrophysics with minors in cyber intel + security and math for a semester, but i didn’t want any more debt ajskdf

009. what’s your dream occupation?

2017: IDK but it has to involve happiness and a nice salary. i have to feed my zoo somehow. 2020: what r dreams lmao

010. relationship status

2017: single then. single now. single forever. 2020: every time i think about putting myself out there, something happens. i don’t have time to date atm

011. coffee, tea or hot chocolate?

2017: it depends on the weather. if it’s cold i’ll have hot chocolate. i usually drink tea at meals whenever though. 2020: i blame my work for all the coffee i drink now, but still all of the above. 

012. dream holiday destination?

2017: santorini 2020: honestmeme....where the hell did i pull santorini from. idk i was supposed to go to iceland for study abroad last year but yknow i withdrew from the university. i still wanna go tho

013. the thing you’re most proud about yourself

2017: not afraid to stand up for myself + others 2020: young me made it sound noble but honestly i’ll put ppl in their place, i don’t have patience anymore jakdas. but tbh right now i guess it’s my perseverance? life has been shitty for a few months but u gotta keep on truckin’

014. tell us a bit about your family!

2017: goD they’re nuts. i’m the middle child out of all my siblings but the youngest on my dad’s side. large age gaps are common, like half my sisters are old enough to be my mom. lots of grand babies and great grand babies. when we’re all together (like this past weekend) it’s ….wild. communication is v poor too. i only have one brother out of my eight siblings, and all those siblings are only half-related to me. at 5′5 i’m one of the tallest in the fam which says a lot. 2020: they’re still nuts n i don’t speak to my mother anymore. i should probs add that my parents have been divorced since i was a few months old so she hasn’t been in the pic for a while. even when she had custody of me jaksldf find me ron howard i’ll give him the rights to my life story

015. how long have you known your closest friend?

2017: three years. 2020: we’re going on 6 years jaksdf i’ll be maid of honor in her wedding this year. i also have another friend that i failed to mention last time but we’ve been close for 9 years (jfc)

016. superpower you’d like to have?

2017: invisibility 2020: mind reading so i know who’s Fake jaklsdjf

017. celebrity you’d like to meet?

2017: john stamos ?? idk i never really thought about it. i’ve met michael phelps though!! 2020: ig i’ll stick with stamos?? ooh or steve carrell or jennifer aniston. 

018. guilty pleasures

2017: chocolate and french fries. i love love love french fries. 2020: now my guilty pleasure is dr. pepper bc i cut it out of my diet.

019. pet peeves

2017: mouth noises (misophonia). people talking over each other and not listeninG. lowkey people leaving the toilet seat up or leaving toilet paper in the toilet like…just flush again. 2020: i really went off on tp huh?? another pet peeve is people committing to something then backing out/flaking without a heads up

020. do you have any hobbies?

2017: sports !!! i’m a grade a heaux for sports. tennis, archery, golf. anything that doesn’t require lots of muscle ya feel. one of my ~hobbies~ i guess is organizing things. i have multiple planners and use them all daily. 2020: i miss how sporty n active i was jkasdf this is my hobby.

021. where would you like to live in the future?

2017: i would looooooove to live in san diego but i’ll probs be stuck in the desert drylands. 2020: tbh i was looking into memphis homes bc it’s cheap compared to here but i don’t really care where i end up. just want a place of my own yknow

022. tell us a story about a thing that recently happened to you! it can be a funny, scary, sad story, your pick!

2017: redacted bc it was college angst lmao and not pretty 2020: i found out this morning that my cell phone # is somehow linked to some random guy a few miles away and idk how to fix it online. got some texts today and yesterday this one guy called me 6 times back to back while i was on the phone with someone else. i guess that’s another pet peeve of mine, pls leave a message if it’s important jaklsdf

[turtle-steverogers]

Fugitives- Chap 6

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Warnings: D E A T H (someone is shot and killed, yeet), drug mention

Ship: Eventual Ralbert

I’m so so so sorry

Albert was awoken a few hours later to the sounds of people arguing on the other side of the shower curtain.  He kept his eyes shut as he strained his ears, trying to catch what the voices were saying.

“You let someone walk away?” Whispered a voice that Albert recognized as Jack’s.

“He promised he wouldn’t run his mouth,” Came Race’s reply.

“Of course he promised, Antonio,” Came another, exasperated voice, “Anyone would promise that if you shot a gun at their wall and threatened to kill them.”

“Davey’s right,” Jack said, “I can’t believe you, Race.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” Race exclaimed defensively.

“Kill him, Racetrack,” Jack said, his voice was gaining volume, “You were supposed to kill him.”

“Jack Kelly, you know that I can’t fucking-”

“Yes, I’ve fucking heard it.  I’ve heard a million times that you won’t fucking kill anyone else,” Jack was speaking loudly now, “I don’t know what happened to you in Prospect.  I don’t know what part you played in Rockefeller, but you’re going to have to get the fuck over it one day, because in this fucking life, you’re gonna have to kill a few people and-”

“Shut up, Jack!” Race shouted, “Shut the fuck up.  I know that I’m gonna have to kill a few people.  Hell, you’ve made me kill a few people, but don’t fucking talk to me about Rockefeller.  Don’t ever bring that up, asshole, there’s a fucking reason I don’t talk about it.” Race’s breath hitched after the last sentence.

“Both of you quiet down, you’re going to wake people up,” The other man, Davey, scolded, “Jack, leave his past out of this.  Race, take a deep breath.  We’re going to have to think about how to deal with Albert’s roommate, but for now, I think that it would be best if we all just got some rest, okay?”

“Okay,” Jack mumbled.

“Thank you,” Davey said, “Race?”

Albert heard Race take a measured breath, “Okay,” he answered, voice strained.

“Good, get some sleep, Race,” Davey instructed, “Jack, c’mon.”

Albert cracked an eye open, watching as two silhouettes walked to the other side of the theatre.  He saw Race’s shadow pacing back and forth behind the curtain a few times, before he sat down on his cot.  It looked like he was holding his head in his hands.  

Albert felt worry claw at his gut.  What were they planning to do to Elmer?  He had half a thought to send a warning text to him, but didn’t want to find out the repercussions if Jack found out he’d contacted him.  Maybe they weren’t going to kill him, maybe they were just going to recruit Elmer like they’d done with him.  Logically, Albert knew that wasn’t the case.  

Albert let out a frustrated sigh and reached under his pillow to grab his phone.  It was nearly 6:00 am, so Elmer would be waking up within the hour to go to his morning shift at the coffee shop he worked at.  

Albert clicked into his and Elmer’s texts and bit his lip, trying to decide how to word his message.

To Elmer: Bro, do me a fat favor and stay at your girl’s place for a few days.  Don’t ask questions.  I’m handling it.  Just don’t go back to our place and never go anywhere alone.

He hovered his thumb over the send button for a few moments, then delivered it.  Elmer was no doubt going to ask questions anyway, but it was worth a shot.  He deleted their conversation and slid his phone back under his pillow.  Rolling over, he noticed that Race was no longer sitting on his cot.  In fact, it didn’t look like he was on his side of the wing at all.  Albert frowned and lifted his head, glancing around the parts of the theatre that he could see, but there was no sign of Race anywhere.  He got up, curiosity getting the better of him.  Carefully, he drew back the curtain separating his and Race’s side, eyes sweeping the dark area.  At first he didn’t see anything, then he noticed Race sitting on the ground in front of his cot.  

“You okay?” He whispered, causing Race to jump violently and turn around.

His face was lined with tear tracks, which he hastily wiped away with his shirt sleeve, “What the fuck? How long’ve you been awake?”

Albert shrugged, “Not too long.”

Race stood, then sat down on his cot, pulling his knees up to his chest.  He looked tired, “Did you hear anything?”

Albert considered telling him what he had witnessed of his conversation with Jack and Davey, but thought against it, “Nothing besides you moving around.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah..”

“Sorry for waking you.”

Albert waved a hand nonchalantly, “You didn’t, I’m a light sleeper.”

Race sniffed and lowered his chin to rest on his knees, “What do you want?”

Albert glanced down, suddenly feeling guilty for invading what was obviously a very personal moment for Race, “Uh, nothing.  Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Race scowled, “Well, I’m fine.  Why do you care anyway?  I’ve been pretty terrible to you.”

“I was just curious, man-” They both startled when Albert’s phone began buzzing.

Race raised his eyebrows, “You better go get that before Jack or Davey hears.  They’re really strict about phones and who we’re all contacting.”

Albert huffed and let the curtain fall back into place, once again separating himself from Race.  He took his phone from under his pillow to see that Elmer was calling him.  He quickly declined the call and clicked into his texts.

To Elmer: No calling.  Just text.

From Elmer: Where the fuck are you man???? What the fuck happened yesterday??? Are you alive?????

To Elmer: Of course I’m alive, numbnuts.  I can’t tell you where I am and I can’t tell you what was happening yesterday, but you’re kinda in danger so…

From Elmer: BUdDY you can’t say all this shit without an explanation.  I’m freaking the fuck out

To Elmer: Believe me, I am too.  Listen, please just trust me.  Where are you right now? From Elmer: Sarah’s

Albert slumped onto his cot, relief flooding his system.  Elmer was safe at his girlfriend’s place, far from their apartment.

To Elmer: Thank fuck, okay.  Maybe don’t go to work tomorrow.  Or move to China and change your name.  Idc, just please look out for yourself.  Also delete this convo

From Elmer: Albert what the fuck

To Elmer: I’m sorry.  I gotta go.  Remember to delete this.  I’ll talk to you when I can

From Elmer: Jfc ok bye

Albert erased his messages once more and laid back against his pillows.  He scrolled through Instagram mindlessly, trying in vain to get tired again.  It was nearing 7:00 am, so he assumed he’d have to be up soon anyway.  Eventually, he dozed off, phone still in hand.

XXX

“The fuck?” Albert yelped as his pillow was yanked out from under his head.

“Rise and shine, bitchatcho.”

Albert looked up to see Race hovering over him, pillow in hand.

“What time s’it?” He asked, voice still thick with sleep.

“Like, 8:00 am,” Race thwacked Albert violently with the pillow, ”We gotta long day ahead of us, so get the fuck up.”

Albert glared at him for a long moment before reluctantly sitting up, “Fine, give me like, ten minutes to change and take a piss.”

“Awesome, meet me downstairs by the storage room when you’re.”

Albert gave him a sarcastic thumbs up and watched as Race left the stage.  He pulled his jeans out from under his cot and changed into them, then went to the dressing rooms to use the bathroom.  On his way downstairs, he stopped by his bin and took out a sweatshirt, yanking it over his head as he bounded down the stairs.  

As promised, Race was waiting outside the storage room, eating a banana.  There were two other men with him, one sporting a backwards hat over his curly brown hair and the other leaning heavily on a crutch.  

“Heya, Albert,” Race greeted, “Meet Finch and Crutchie.”

The one with a crutchie leaned forward, offering a hand, “As you can probably gather, outta the two of us, I’m Crutchie.  I’m Empire’s medic, so if you’re aboutta die or some shit, I’ll patch you up.”

“Uh, sounds good,” Albert said, shaking Crutchie’s hand.  He turned to the guy in the backwards hat, “And what about you?”

“Finch,” The guy grunted.

Albert cocked his head and looked at Race, who flicked the guy in the back of the head, “Sorry about him, he’s bitter.  That’s Finch.  He’s our botanist.”

“Botanist?”

“I run our drug inventory,” Finch said, toying with a cigarette and looking entirely uninterested.

“Cool, uh, nice to meet you..” Finch scanned his eyes over Albert, who crossed his arms self-consciously.

“Likewise.”

“Well, this is cozy,” Crutchie said brightly, “Anyway, I leave you all to your work.  Just thought I’d introduce myself.  Toodles!” He waved and hobbled away.

“You gotta key, Finchy?” Race asked.

“Don’t call me that,” Finch said, fishing a key out of his jacket pocket and unlocking the storage room door.

“Oh yeah,” Race said, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out another banana, “Here, before I forget it’s in there and sit on it.”  he handed the banana to Albert, who hesitantly took it.

“I didn’t poison it or some shit,” Race laughed, “Just thought you’d be hungry.”

Albert wordlessly peeled the banana and took a bite, realizing belatedly how hungry he was.  

“Race,” Finch called from inside the storage room, “What do you need?”

“Uh, get me like, two grams of pot? And...I think that’s it.  It’s a small trade.”

“Kay,” Finch emerged a moment later holding a white paper bag.  He handed it to Race who crumpled it and put it into his jacket pocket.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Higgins,” Finch held out a hand, “Give me the bag back.”

Race rolled his eyes and shoved the bag into Finch’s outstretched palm.  Finch held his glare as he neatly folded the bag over a few times, then handed it back to Race, who carefully placed it back into his pocket.

“Happy?” Race jeered.

“Extremely,” Finch answered with a fake smile, “We done here?  I would like to get coffee now.”

“Yes, we’re done, go get your bean juice.”

Finch sneered and walked away, disappearing up the stairs.

“He’s really fucking meticulous about his drugs,” Race said, zipping up his jacket.

“Meticulous,” Albert repeated, “Didn’t peg you for a fifty-cent-word kinda guy.”

“Shut up, I went to high school.  I glanced at all the SAT words.”

“Oh, did you?  So what does brevity mean?”

“Uhhhhhhh..” Race screwed up his face in thought, “I said I glanced, dude.  That doesn’t mean I retained any actual knowledge.”

“Brevity’s easy.  It’s the quality of being brief or terse.”

“Albert, have I told you you’re annoying yet?”

“Many times.”

“Okay, you’re annoying.  Now c’mon, The Bronx is waiting.”

XXX

The bleak winter air bit Albert’s face as he and Race left The Bowery.  As they walked through the street toward the nearest subway station, Albert couldn’t help but notice the strange feeling that nagged at the back of his neck.  The streets felt almost different, like they were hiding some enormous monster underneath them.  The ever-existing presence of Empire and Prospect loomed ominously over Race and Albert, blind to the eyes of other pedestrians.  He felt incredibly vulnerable, constantly paying mind to who was paying attention to them.  Anyone at any time could be a threat- there was no telling who knew what.

They caught the yellow line that would take them to The Bronx, where they were scheduled to trade with some guy in Fordham at 9:30.  It was currently 8:15 and the ride was supposed to take about forty-five minutes, leaving Albert wishing he had his headphones so he could disengage completely.

“You nervous at all?” Race’s question surprised Albert, and he turned to him

“Kinda, I guess?  How exactly does a trade work?”

“First off, for the love of God, lower your voice,” Race said, leaning in so that they could talk in quieter voices, “And it’s pretty simple.  You missed phase one, which is deciding a meet place and trade time.  We do that using the graffiti, which I’ve already told you about.  One of these days, I’ll show you the symbols we use and what they mean, but that’s not important right now.  So now, we just have to be at the coordinated location and make sure he actually has the cash he promised.  If he does, we trade, plain and easy.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

Race glanced to the side briefly, “Then, we….” he worried his lip between his teeth.

“...Kill him?” Albert tried,

Race looked down at his lap, reaching up a hand to tug at the hair on the back of his head, “I mean, no.  Killing’s not entirely necessary.  That’s like, last resort.  Like if he pulls knife on us.  Yeah, no, we’d just, like, beat him up.” He was rambling and Albert furrowed his brow.

“You alright?  Why are you getting weird?”

“I’m not,” Race said, defensively scooting backwards a bit.

“You totally are,” Albert noted that Race had shrunken in on himself, “Is this something to do with last night?  With Rockefeller or whatever Jack was talking about?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Albert regretted them.  

He silently cursed his lack of a filter as Race whipped his head up, “What? How did you-” he scooted backwards further as his expression turned furious, “So you were listening.  You lied to me, DaSilva.  This puts you on thin fucking ice.”

Albert pursed his lips, annoyed with himself.

“If you were listening so carefully,” Race seethed, “Then you should have known not to fucking bring that up.”

“M’sorry,” Albert mumbled.

Race didn’t answer as he busied himself in pulling out his headphones, though Albert could see his hands shaking.  Albert sat back in his seat and pulled out his own phone, electing to catch up on SnapChat until they arrived in The Bronx.

Fordham was significantly sketchier than the neighborhoods Albert was used to.  The storefronts they passed were all worn down and the deeper Race led Albert into the area, the dirtier it got.  Race hadn’t spoken a word to him since their conversation on the train, leaving Albert more or less in the dark about the specifics of where they were going.  Eventually, they arrived at an abandoned auto-shop.  

Race walked around to the back of the lot and knocked on one of the garage doors.  It opened a moment later to reveal a tall, gruff looking guy.

“You Racetrack?” He asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Yes, sir, I am,” Race said, sauntering over to him, “But, a little piece of constructive criticism, don’t ever voice your assumptions.  If you had been wrong about who was just now, that could have meant serious trouble for the both of us.”

The guy looked unimpressed, “I expected you to be less twiggy.”

“And I expected you to have more than one brain cell, but alas.”

“Whatever,” The guy said, “You got the shit?”

“Yeah,” Race retrieved the paper bag containing the weed from his jacket, “And you’ll get it as soon as I see the cash.”

The guy reached into his back pocket and produced an envelope, “Here, you see it.  Now give me the goddamn pot already.”

“Nuh uh uh,” Race wagged his finger, “Calm down, you useless junkie.  I already made it very clear the other day that it’s cash first, weed second.  Hand it over.”

“Show me the pot first,” Race opened the bag and held it out for the guy to see.  He peered at the bag’s contents, inspecting it closely, “And that’s two grams?”

Race clicked his tongue, “It should be.”

The guy nodded and reached into the envelope, revealing a large wad of cash.  He held it out for Race to take, who in turn, handed the paper bag over to him.

Once the items were exchanged, Race spit into his palm and offered it to the guy.  Without hesitation, the guy spit into his own hand and shook Race’s.  Albert wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“Pleasure doing business,” Race said, formally.

The guy huffed a small laugh, “Okay.”

With that, he stalked back into the auto shop and closed the garage door.  Race turned to Albert, looking pleased.

“That went nice and smooth,” He said.

“Yeah, seemed easy,” Albert agreed.

“I’m hungry,” Race declared, “Let’s head back to The Bowery for lunch, then we can do our next trade.”

“What time’s our next trade?  And where?” Albert asked, following Race away from the autoshop.

“4:00 over in Washington Square Park.  We have a little while.”

The journey back to The Bowery seemed to take less time than the commute to The Bronx.  Race had loosened up significantly and was telling Albert about the other guys in Empire as they entered the theatre.

“So yeah, you met Finch and Crutchie- great guys by the way, absolute geniuses.  Aside from them, there’s Mush and Blink, who trade a lot over in Staten Island.  Blink’s got an eyepatch.  No one knows exactly what happened to his eye, but it definitely involved a knife.  Romeo is a little shit, but a total charmer, which comes in handy during trades.  Jojo’s the handyman- I’ve already told you about him.  Giant teddy bear, that guy.  Love him.  And then you met Jack and I’ve told you about Les and Davey- oh! I want you to meet Davey, he should be around today, one sec,” As they passed the recreation room, Race stuck his head in, “Hey, Mush.”

Albert peeked over Race’s shoulder to see a shorter guy with straight brown hair, playing solitaire.  He looked up upon hearing his name and smiled, “Hey Race,” He made eye contact with Albert and blinked, “You’re Albert, yeah? The dude Race pulled off the street?”

“Indeed, that’s me,” Albert said as Race pulled him into the room.

“Welcome, don’t fuck anything up,” Mush said, placing his cards onto the table and clasping his hands under his chin, “Did you guys need something?”

“Yeah,” Race leaned against the door, “D’you know where Davey is?”

“Uh, I’m not actually sure?  I saw him and Jack leave a little bit ago.  They said they have something they need to take care of over in SoHo.”

Race frowned, “That’s weird, I didn’t think that they had any trades today.”

Albert felt his blood run cold as he processed what Mush had told them, “Oh my god,” he muttered, “Oh my god.”

Race and Mush looked at him, confusion written on their faces, “What?  What’s wrong.”

Albert swallowed and met Race’s stare, panic running down his spine, “Elmer’s girlfriend lives in SoHo.”

“What are you-” Albert didn’t let Race finished as he fled the room, running towards the exit.

“Albert, slow down,” Race called, running after him, “Albert!”

Albert stopped just outside the theatre, turning around to look at Race with wide, terror-stricken eyes, “Race, please, I need to make sure Elmer’s okay.”

“But what does that have to do with his girlfriend-” Understanding dawned on Race’s face, “Wait shit, is he still at his girl’s place?”

“Yes and I think that’s where Jack and Davey are headed.  Come or don’t, I’m going,” Albert ran to the street and hailed a cab, Race climbing in next to him.

“Albert,” Race hissed, “You realize this is gonna make it worse, right?”

“Shut up,” Albert snapped, pulling out his phone and dialing Elmer’s number.  When he didn’t pick up, Albert called Sarah.

“Hello?” Sarah answered from the other side.  She sounded okay, which Albert took  as a good sign.

“Sarah, are you at your place?” Albert asked, urgently.

“No, I’m at the grocery store right now, why? Is everything okay?”

“Is Elmer with you?” Albert pushed.

“No,” Sarah said, slowly, “He was still asleep when I left, so he didn’t come.”

“Shit,” Albert cursed, “Shit shit shit.”

“Albert, what’s-” Sarah started, sounding worried.

“I gotta go, but don’t go home,” Albert demanded, not waiting for a reply as he hung up.  

They arrived in front of Elmer’s apartment complex fifteen minutes later.  Albert almost didn’t want to go inside, too afraid of what he might find.  He forced himself to get out of the cab nonetheless and sprinted in through the front, Race on his heels.  He bypassed the elevator, instead darting towards the door to the stairwell and scaling the three flights of stairs to Sarah’s floor.  When he got to the apartment, he found that it was locked.  

He cursed under his breath, then turned to Race, who was standing nervously a few feet away, “Do you have, like, anything you can use to pick locks?” He asked, impatiently.

Race looked like he was having some sort of internal battle as he reached into his boot and pulled out a knife, handing it to Albert, who stuck his tongue between his teeth as he fiddled with the doorknob.  It took a few minutes, but eventually he got heard the click indicating that he had succeeded.

“I don’t think you should go in there,” Race warned, but Albert ignored him.

The next thirty seconds felt like they went by in slow motion.  Albert opened the door to find Jack and a man in a button down shirt and sweater vest standing on the other side.  The man in the sweater vest was pointing a gun at Elmer, who was cowering against the wall.  Jack looked up as Albert entered the room and opened his mouth to shout something, but was cut off by the sound of a gunshot.  Albert looked over to see Elmer slump onto the floor, blood flowing steadily from his head.  He screamed and staggered backwards into Race, who caught him and lowered him to the floor.  The sound around Albert seemed to muffle.  The world was blurry and he was certain that people were talking around him, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Albert, Jesus Christ,” He felt someone slap him across the face and he flinched, “Stop screaming or Davey’ll shoot you too,” Race’s voice bled into his consciousness and he was suddenly pulled back to reality.

He closed his mouth, stopping the screams that were escaping him.  Without thinking, he looked at Elmer’s body again and his stomach lurched.  He bent over to the side and threw up, unable to handle the sight any longer.  He heard the door close behind him, then the man in the sweater vest crouched down in front of him.

His eyes were alarmingly calm as he offered a hand to Albert, “You must be Albert.  I’m Davey, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

In the words of @newsies-of-nyc “R.I.P el, sorry bro”

next chapter we find out what ‘Rockefeller’ is oooo race’s dark past

TAG LIST:

@bencookisagod

@we-dont-sell-papes

@suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@well-the-kids-do-too

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@thatpoorguysheadisspinning

@newsies-of-nyc

@andthewoildwillknow

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

@sunshine-e-cigarettes

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@musical-shitposts

@thebroadwayaesthetic

[thedarkenedkeeper]

Glitched: Part 16 - Curious I See

Author’s Note: Oh my GAAAWWWWDDDDD!! FINALLY! I FUCKING LIVE!! Jesus FUCKING Christ! *dies*

How I absolutely LOATHED working on this chapter. Don’t get me wrong, I like it and I wrote it because I felt it was necessary for the story, but jfc, I had such a difficult time writing it out the way I envisioned it in my head. I apologize for just how FUCKING long it took for me to get this out. Things came up in my life, it’s been ridiculously hot the last couple of weeks which naturally made me so hot that I didn’t want to do anything. And I’m going away the next few days, so I wanted to get this done before I leave. SO here it is! Hallelujah! 

So I kind of lied, there is some horror in this chapter (surprise, surprise!). I didn’t lie though about it being a “break” chapter so don’t worry - there’s no angst or gore in this, so you can all relax and breathe (’cause believe me, you’re going to need it). Slight warning though: things tend to get quite creepy and uneasy in this chapter (what else is new?). A character is described as a corpse with gross descriptions. 

I’m taking a notebook with me while I’m away so I’ll hopefully get started on Part 17.

Read this while listening to this playlist.

Enjoy the (final) break, guys! ;D

Close your eyes and open your mind. Take deep breaths – inhale and exhale slowly…slowly…slowly…

 Feel your body going slack, feel your muscles loosening and your nerves relaxing. You’re beginning to feel tired but not sleepy, drifting into a state of unconsciousness but still very much awake. You’re floating away into a sea of darkness, and yet you still have a grip on your body, you can feel it. There’s a comforting warmth blossoming in your chest and weaving throughout your veins, relieving you in knowing that you’re alright and your body – your physical body – isn’t going anywhere.  You can’t see anything, even when you open your eyes. There’s nothing but never-ending black – that is until there isn’t.

 The void – an otherworldly dimension of space, a dream within a dream. A haven that you and you alone can escape to and warp to your exact liking, a place where you can become a god and shape your own world with a flick of the wrist and a snap of your fingers. A sanctuary for your inner personas to feel safe and content.  A mind palace where no one but you holds the power and control over everything.

 No one can be let in and no one can be let out.

 Because if something were to somehow find a way to get inside, there’d be no telling what would happen.

 The darkness would probably no longer be your blanket of security. The warmth would probably be sucked from right out of your chest cavity. The air would probably become tainted with something so putrid you’d find yourself suffocating. Something twisted and unearthly would probably have its nails sunk deep into the roots of your safe place, creating its own diseased world. And you would probably find yourself rotting from the inside out, desperately trying to escape from the place you had built and known to have once been wonderful and welcoming.

 The worst part?

 You would probably not notice any of it until it was too late.

 * * * * *

 Why are you out here again?...Oh! Right! ‘Cause you felt like something was wrong and you felt the need to go and see for yourself. Curse you and your instinctive need to make sure everything’s okay!

 The lone hero was currently wandering around in the void – not his specific part of the void but the overall spacious part of the void that didn’t belong to any particular ego. Given just how empty the space was, it was quite literally a never-ending black abyss; not a whole lot of light brightened the place, although there wasn’t much to shed light on. And yet, within the darkness, there was beauty and a sense of comfort.

 The entire floor wasn’t a floor at all, more so a continuous runway of water; illuminated by bare-branched neon trees rising tall on either side of the paths leading towards each individual ego’s world. Those trees weaved out up high into the shadows, a thick smog clouding the sky and dissipating the closer it reached the ground. Pulses of blinding shades of color originated from the roots and surged upward throughout the shimmering bark every couple of seconds. It was as though the energy and life of the trees were visible to the naked eye. The branches were so thin and veiny; anyone would surely do a double take and think they resembled nerves in the brain, what with the charges of power coursing through each branch.

 With each step the green-haired man took, the water beneath his feet rippled and produced a faint glow of ruby red, an indication of which ego was out and about. The color was always different, depending on which ego was taking a stroll through the void. Surprisingly, although the ground was completely made of water and appeared frighteningly deep, the man didn’t sink. In fact, his feet weren’t even getting wet; the clear liquid just ran off of his boots in droplets, not soaking into the material or leaving behind any evidence of him having walked along water. He strolled along the path, a faint trail of crimson following behind him as he took a look around at his surroundings. The neon trees, the darkness, the foggy haze, the pathways leading off to his friends’ own sanctuaries. He hummed with thought, kicking at the ground, sending a splash of red forth.

 It was very rare for an ego to ever leave their little world and wander off into the open void. But every now and again, whether it was to go and visit one of their identical twins or to just get some fresh air and have some peace and quiet to think, they’d find their way out into the dark.

 So what was the heroic Jackieboy Man’s reason for venturing off into the mystical?

 One moment the hero had been rescuing an older lady’s poor cat from up high in a tree and the next he found himself getting hit with a gut-wrenching sense of dread, like something was very wrong. His first thought was that maybe someone was in need of a superhero somewhere in the city. Maybe someone had gotten hurt, maybe someone was being robbed, maybe someone was getting their car jacked. Anytime someone was in need of help or there was any danger, his superhero instincts would automatically kick in and give him a heads up. It had made sense for him to assume it was just his “spidey-sense” notifying him of any nearby danger. But that was just the thing: there wasn’t anyone in need of a hero during that time. He figured it was his brain tricking him and that he just desperately wanted to do more heroic things that day, so he brushed it off and went off on his merry way. It wasn’t until later on when he strolled past the entrance to his world when he was once again overcome with a wrongful feeling. Chills creeped up along his spine and everything seemed to had gone eerily quiet around him as he stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the wormhole with perplexity but more so concern.

 Was something wrong outside of his world? Had something happened to one of the other egos? He had no idea, and even though he knew very well that Jack was always the first one to be notified of strange goings-on in the void, his instinct was to take immediate action and make sure things were okay. He was there when Jack had shown up, throat slit and choking on his own blood, and he had been there when Chase attempted suicide, lying in a dazed state and bleeding out. He may have been there, but he hadn’t shown up in time. He hadn’t saved them. He hadn’t been the hero he was supposed to be. So if something was really wrong somewhere off in the void, then he was going to make sure he would make it in time before anyone would get hurt.

 He had left his world and stepped out into the open darkness, storming off and taking glances around to search for anything out of the ordinary. Everything seemed fine. The trees were all still glowing brightly in the multiple colors they always interchanged from. The ground was still wet and illuminated red with each step he took. He didn’t see anyone rushing off to someone else’s world out of panic. He didn’t see Jack show up to see for himself what was going on. There didn’t appear to be anything wrong with the void, nor were any of the other egos out in the open. And yet, that godawful cancer of dismay remained festering in his stomach, chewing at his insides piece by piece. Everything may have appeared normal, but he knew – he KNEW – something wasn’t right.

 The masked hero slowed his pacing as he finally came to the crossroads, lining out the four pathways to each ego’s part of the void. Marvin the Magnificent’s carnival was straight ahead, a faint purple ring in the distance indicating where the entrance was. Off to his left, in the far vastness of space, a bright blue portal was seen – an entrance to Dr. Schneeplestein’s world – and to his right, a loop of energetic orange, home to Chase Brody. He stopped in the center of the intersection, scanning the area around him for any sign of movement.

 “Hello?” He called out into the never-ending blackness. “Hello? Guys? Is everything alright?”

 He didn’t receive any sort of response, nor did he manage to make out anyone come out of their worlds to see him. Nothing but eerie, dead silence filled the air, and it didn’t make Jackieboy Man feel at ease in the slightest. He had called out for them – surely someone would’ve heard him. Someone would’ve come out to see what the commotion was about. And yet, there was nothing. He was alone in the dark, and that was something that never happened. Anytime he’d come out into the open for a stroll, he may have been alone, but he never truly felt alone. He knew the other egos were each there in the void with him, off doing their own individual things. He was never truly alone. But now – what with this harrowing leech wriggling through his insides…

 Slowly – and barely even there – thin, icy-cold digits creeped up along his shoulder blade.

 Jackie jolted and immediately spun around on his heel, sucking in a breath at only seeing eternal darkness in his wake. His eyes darted around the place wildly, searching for someone – anyone! He damn well knew he had felt someone’s hand on his shoulder, so how come he didn’t see anyone around?

 An unearthly chuckle of glee reverberated throughout the void, an even more mangled giggle overlapping it and coming from off in the deep black of space. Jackie jerked his head in the direction of where the giggle seemed to be originating from and cocked his head in slight confusion. It wasn’t coming from any one of the egos’ worlds – he was staring directly out at pitch blackness, completely off the paths made for the egos to wander on.

 It was coming from out in an open, uncharted area of the void where no light was seen.

 He swallowed dryly and parted his lips, still staring at the shadows. “Hello?” His voice echoed. “Who’s there?”

 The silence returned for a moment or two with a vengeance, admittedly sending chills up and racing along his spine. He cautiously took a step forward, never taking his attention away from where he had heard the giggle.

 “Hello?!”

 A shot of ice burned through his spine at feeling someone tap at his shoulder.

 Jackie gasped sharply and whirled around, wide-eyed and a tad bit shaken. No one was there. Another childish giggle sounded from the abyss before him, almost taunting him. He frowned, starting to get agitated. Was one of the others playing a trick on him? Because if so, it wasn’t funny.

 “Hey!” He shouted, immediately charging forward and leaping over the marked pathway; sprinting off in the direction of where the giggle had come from. He may not have seen anyone, but he had definitely felt someone touch him. He didn’t feel so alone anymore – someone else was there in the open void with him and he was going to find them and put an end to this joke of theirs’.

 Into the darkness he delved, the foggy breath of black ghosting over him and sucking him in the deeper he went. He couldn’t see a thing at this point now, not an ounce of light shining through. If possible, it seemed to be getting even darker the further he ran. Whoever was hiding from him let out a mocking laugh, evidently deriving sheer amusement from the hero’s puzzlement and desperate need to find the culprit. Releasing an uneven breath and slowing himself down to a halt, Jackieboy Man scanned around him for any sign of movement. All he saw was black – pure, empty, cloak-of-the-Grim-Reaper black. Even when he reached his hand outward, he couldn’t see it; it was one with the darkness. He searched all around him, turning around in circles until he was dizzy, but there wasn’t any sign of light whatsoever. He couldn’t see the neon trees branching upward towards the sky. He couldn’t see the illuminated watery pathways. He couldn’t see any of the portals to the egos’ homes. He saw absolutely nothing and it was only making the lingering feeling in his gut tighten to a sickeningly discomforting extent.

 Where were the paths and the trees? There was no way he had run off that far, and even if he had gone a pretty lengthy distance, he would still be able to see the lights from where he was. So why was everything gone? Why couldn’t he see anything?

 An awful, cruel cackle resounded through the place, jabbing pins and needles into the hero’s back and making his heart give a jolt of worriment. His eyes darted around nervously, swallowing thickly as he took a couple of wary steps forward.

 “Show yourself!” He demanded, his words getting dragged out of him and floating through the endless space for god-knows-who to hear.

 He only received a stifling chuckle in response. Following it, an abundance of whispers began to blossom in the air, each distinct and faintly reaching out to him. He couldn’t pinpoint what they were saying as there were too many voices speaking at once, but each one was using a haunting tone of voice that drove home what he feared: he was now in a dangerous situation and he needed to turn back NOW. Forget trying to find who was behind all of the taunting and teasing, he didn’t feel safe – his wellbeing, as well as the safety of the egos, was his top priority at that moment.

 Jackie began to backtrack his steps, trying to recall the way he came, but how do you know you’re going in the right direction when you can’t see a damn thing? A few of the whispers increased in loudness, wisps of them drifting right past his ears and feeding him the most chilling of things, they made him stop dead in his tracks. His eyes widened, a quivering breath getting wrenched out of him so violently he nearly doubled over.

 “…couldn’t save them.”

               “…dead…”

                               “Where were you?”

“…you let…”

                               “Why?”

               “…them suffer…”

“The poor souls…”

                                               “…your friends…”

               “What kind…”

“Please…”

                                                               “…left to rot.”

               “The children were…”

                                               “of hero are you?”

“He’s coming…”

                               “…for you.”

 A loud bubbly giggle belonging to a little girl rang out from behind the scared hero, causing him to jump and turn to very vaguely make out something deathly-white race by in the distance. With his poor heart feeling the effects of the festering cancer taking hold, Jackie strode forward. His breathing had picked up and alongside the whispers, all he could hear was the deafening beating of his heart pounding away at his ribcage. He clenched his fingers, balling them up into tight fists in an attempt to stave off his growing anxiety. He was a superhero, he didn’t fear anything! He could take anything on with ease and was never one to back down on a challenge! He would NOT succumb to this scheming individual’s tricks of getting a rise out of him!

 “Hello?” His voice echoed. “Guys, if this is some kind of prank, it isn’t funny!” He snapped, a sliver of his building dread interlacing his words.

 Another sweet girlish giggle met his ears, his eyes staring straight ahead to find a small pale figure standing still, staring right back at him with what looked an awful lot like a large grin – he couldn’t fully tell given how far away this individual was and with how dark it was. He squinted, trying to make out the figure more clearly. He licked his lips, hesitating to speak.

 “Who are you?”

 Now hold on, Jackie, think about this for a moment. A little girl was giggling a second ago and that looks a lot like a little girl. Who has a little girl? The doctor does, as does Chase. Maybe she’s one of them. Maybe she’s a part of –

 His thoughts got cut short when he noticed the figure begin to move, bee-lining straight for him. As the figure drew closer, Jackieboy Man’s vision started to clear up and the shapes and details of long dark hair and a cute floral dress could be made out. It was a little girl – probably four years old – one who gave off an eerily similar appearance as Dr. Schneeplestein’s youngest daughter.

 “Ilsa?” Jackie questioned. “What – What are you doing out here all alone?”

 The girl suddenly came to an abrupt stop, her head cocking to the left with a gross crack, sending prickles of unease throughout the green-haired hero’s veins. A bouncy laugh ruptured from her throat.

 “I’m not awone, silly! I’m here with you!” She chirped happily.

 Jackie, gulping down the fear strangling his insides, warily approached her, shrinking down a bit as he moved, feeling the need to be on her level. As he did, the whispers grew louder as though they were warning him to stay away.

 “Ilsa, you shouldn’t be out here.” He coughed, nearly choking on his own breath.

 He felt himself struggling to breathe the closer he got to the girl – it felt like a giant weight was slowly but surely being pressed down on his chest, like some force was resisting him and not wanting him to go any further.

 “Your,” He cleared his throat, “Y-Your mother is probably w-worried sick.” He coughed harshly and groaned out of discomfort.

 The air was growing revoltingly moist and putrid, so much so he nearly gagged. It was heavy and thick, he found himself gulping down breaths of air. He immediately regretted it. He wrinkled his nose in disgust as a waft of rot and decay unexpectedly attacked his senses. He couldn’t begin to describe the smell. Rancid milk, moldy fruit, rotten eggs – none of that could beat this scent. His eyes screwed shut as he clasped a hand over his mouth, hunching over while holding his stomach. Bile flooded his throat and he had to stop for a moment to try and settle down his insides from coercing him into vomiting.

 “Come pway with me.”

 Jackie hesitantly pried an eye open to take a glance at the girl, who seemed to have closed a good distance between the two. She was still staring at him with cold eyes, lifting an arm and outstretching her hand palm up, almost as though she was expecting the ego to take it. However, there appeared to be something shiny glinting in her hand. Trembling all over from just how nerve-racked he was, as well as from his will power to stave off the need to hurl, the hero swallowed down the sick in his throat and struggled to keep himself upright. He gradually inched toward the child, still finding it quite hard to make out her face or the object in her hand. His heart was pummelling deep inside his chest, the roaring rush of blood racing in his ears making him feel all the more nauseous. It took him a prolonged moment to hear over the noise and make out a faint buzzing coming from around the girl. His brows furrowed in question at not only the sound but finally noticing something dripping from the girl’s hand, and at that moment, an overwhelming odor of iron overcame him. His eyes widened slightly, mouth hanging agape, about to ask what the hell she was holding.

 He didn’t get to ask.

 His heart jolted painfully in his chest, nearly springing out of his chest cavity at hearing the evil laugh from earlier reverberate from behind him. The masked hero jumped and whirled around to see no one standing there. His breathing was very ragged now, coming and going in sharp gasps. He couldn’t even get himself to speak!

 “Come pway with us, Mr. Jackieboy.”

 His face contorted with puzzlement at hearing what she said. He began to turn around to face her.

 “Us? What do you – AH!” He yelped in alarm, staggering backward at seeing her now standing only a few feet away from him.

 The buzzing was more audible, the insistent humming of flies invading his bothered ears. His face scrunched up out of disturbance at seeing an accumulation of flies swarming the girl, quite a few landing on her face and extended arm. Jackie opened his mouth, lips trembling and fighting to part so he could ask her what was going on. But his question got lodged in his throat as soon as she stepped forward, finally revealing herself and looking up at him with her milky-white eyes.

 “Pway with us, Mr. Jackieboy.” She giggled, causing her deeply-cut decaying Glasgow smile to stretch impossibly wide; a fly squeezing out and taking flight. She held her hand out to him, causing the horrified hero to cast his gaze downward to find a bloodied scalpel in her palm.

 Jackieboy Man’s eyes bulged out of horror, a hand slapping over his gaping mouth. He shook his head, taking a hesitant step back.

 “Oh my God – Oh my GOD! Ilsa, what –” He lowered his hand, instantly surging forward and kneeling in front of the girl, grabbing her by the shoulders. His fingertips seemed to sink easily into her bare skin. It felt quite mushy and gross, her flesh and muscle horribly putrefied. The hero nearly choked on his own saliva. His eyes quickly raked over her small body before meeting her fogged-up stare. “what happened to you?! Where are your parents’?!”

 Ilsa dropped her hand at her side and chuckled lightly, shaking her head, her whole body moving with her. She lifted a finger to her lips.

 “Shhh. I can’t tell you. It’s part of his game.”

 Jackieboy Man’s brows screwed together. “His game? Who is he? Please, Ilsa. Come on, please tell me!” He tightened his grip on her, his finger slipping into her rotten meat with ease. “What is going on?!”

 The little girl sighed softly and glanced off into space, humming with thought for a drawn-out moment. She looked back at the frightened man before her and shrugged.

 “Alwight, I guess I can tell you a secret.” She blinked, tilting her head and leaning in a bit. “Can you keep a secret, Mr. Jackieboy?”

 He gave a nod in agreement. “Yes, yes I can. I’ll definitely keep your secret.” He was getting desperate now. He wanted to hear what had happened to her and NEEDED to know about it. Whoever or whatever had done this to her was going to face justice immediately.

 Ilsa raised her hand, curling in all of her fingers except her pinky. “You have to pinky pwomise.”

 He shifted his attention to her malformed finger, hooking his own with hers’, a chill running down his spine at feeling it squish against his. He eyed her, nodding again. “I promise.”

 Ilsa took back her hand and smiled brightly, knowing fully well she was about to tell him something she wasn’t supposed to.

 “You can’t find Mommy or Daddy because he’s alweady found them.” She said in a whisper, shaking her head. “And he’d be weally mad if you found them too.”

 Jackie jerked away from her, only becoming further confused and looking at her with dread settling deep into his nerves. “Who has found your parents, Ilsa? Did this guy do this to you?”

 There was a very long, increasingly uncomfortable interlude growing between the two, the masked man staring at Schneeplestein’s daughter in the dying need for answers. He watched as the smile on her face stretched, the major cuts in either side of her mouth only making her once angelic face all the more grotesque. She giggled with delight and slowly tilted her head backward, staring up at the endless darkness above them. Jackie glanced at what she was looking at, seeing nothing but black.

 “What? What’s so funny – why are you laughing?” He asked, shaking her shoulders gently before releasing his hold on her.

 Ilsa giggled once more, acting as though someone or something was communicating with her – something that only she could hear. And it was with that realization that Jackieboy Man cautiously began to rise to his feet and step back away from her.

 “He’s here now, Mr. Jackieboy.” The little girl beamed.

 From the darkness, a few feet above her, a set of piercing neon-green eyes sliced through the black, shooting fear directly into the now-quivering hero’s poor heart. A soft hiss slithered through the dead air, accompanied with a cringe-worthy crack of the entity’s neck; its eyes now boring into his on an angle. Jackie’s breathes were starting to come out panicked and raspy, instantly taking a few more steps back. Ilsa lowered her head and looked back out at her favorite hero, crudely cut-up smile on her face.

 “He wants to pway with you now.” She giggled with delight.

 A pair of black hands with elongated fingers curled over her shoulders possessively as another hiss came from the creature behind her. The demonic, sinister laugh Jackieboy Man had heard earlier erupted in the room all around them, and that was all it took. He instantly began running backward, wanting to be as far away from her as possible, his wide-eyes fixed on whatever was staring at him.

 Ilsa didn’t move from where she was; she remained standing there, still staring at him with a glazed-over expression and holding the bloody scalpel down at her side. It took Jackie what felt like ages until he tore his gaze away from her and that thing, laboured breaths of panic expelling from him as he rushed to get away from Schneeplestein’s corpse-of-a-daughter. He bolted through the eternal darkness, hearing the whispers whine and moan, black sinister tendrils lashing out and attempting to claw at his arms and legs. He had no idea where he was going, but he needed to get out of here, he NEEDED to get out of here, HE NEEDED TO –

 The green-haired hero ran smackdab into someone, a dull ache pulsing through his body at the collision. He felt a set of hands grasp his shoulders and gently stop him, holding him a good distance away. However, he was so shaken up from what he’d seen a minute ago that his entire body tensed up all over at being touched by some unknown thing. And not being able to see who or what it was, he immediately started swatting at the thing’s arms, wriggling in its grip.

 “Let go of me! Let go of me, goddamn it!” He shouted, making attempts at escaping the entity’s hold. “I’ll break your arm, I swear to God, I’ll do it! I’ll – !”

 “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Jackie, stop! Stop! It’s me!”

 With a blink of his eyes, the hero broke out of his terror-induced state and found himself staring into the eyes of his creator, Jack. The Irishman was lightly holding him by the shoulders, astonishment and concern gleaming in his cerulean eyes. He looked genuinely unsettled by the man in red. Jackie blinked rapidly out of stunned bewilderment, taking anxious glances over his shoulder to see if the decaying reanimated corpse of Ilsa was still there, standing in the distance, waiting for him to “play” with the entity speaking to her. She wasn’t anywhere in sight, nor were the set of green eyes. In fact, when the masked hero turned back to Jack, it took him some time to even recognize where he was.

 He was out by the crossroads again, standing on the watered pathway with the trees glowing bright on either side.

 His brows knitted together as his eyes took in his surroundings. What the hell had happened? He had just been out in the far off reaches of the void – places no one had ventured off into – and he had experienced what he could only call a living nightmare. Everything had felt so incredibly real. The mocking giggles, the haunting whispers, the stomach-churning stench of death, the feeling of being watched, the dead-alive mutilated cadaver of his friend’s daughter. He couldn’t get any of it out of his head. Jack stood there, not taking his hands off of the ego’s shoulders, still looking at him worriedly.

 “Jackie?” He asked softly, not wanting to upset him in anyway.

 The hero flinched at suddenly hearing his name, his attention immediately shifting back to the YouTuber, eyes blown wide with fright. Jack bent his head down a tad bit, searching the masked man’s eyes for understanding, hoping he recognized him.

 “What’s wrong?” He once again used a gentle tone of voice, nearly whispering.

 Jackie continued to stare at him with a hybrid of perplexity and fear for a drawn-out minute. He shook his head, taking glances over his shoulder again.

 “I…I-I don’t…I don’t understand.” He stuttered, having a tough time getting out the words he wanted to say. “I-I was…Sh-She was there. I saw her and the way she looked, the-the way she…” A whine of distress slipped out of him before groaning out of annoyance for not making clear sense. “I saw her! I know what I saw – it was all dark and she –”

 “She?” Jack interjected, tilting his head out of confusion. “What did you see, Jackie? Tell me.”

 Jackie stopped his babbling and shifted his attention back onto his creator, staring at him, taking note of just how puzzled and bothered the man appeared to be. He licked his lips, hesitating to ask.

 “You…You didn’t…You didn’t see her?” He took another glance over his shoulder, pointing out in the direction of where he had run off. “She was somewhere in there! Ilsa was in there, and she-she was undead, and there was some…some thing there with her, and –”

 “Whoa, wait, hold on. Ilsa? Henrik’s daughter?” Jack asked, looking at the ego puzzlement.

 Jackieboy Man nodded, still taking worrisome glances over his shoulder. “Yeah, I saw her out there, but Jack, she –”

 The Irishman shook his head. “But…But that’s not possible. No one from any one of your guys’ worlds can come wandering about out here in the open – you know that. Only you four came come out here.”

 “I know, but I swear, Jack, I saw her. I know I saw her.”

 Jack shook his head slightly. “Jackie, I…I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know what you think you saw, but I didn’t see anything.  I just got here a moment ago, and within a minute of my arrival, you suddenly ran into me and started hitting me, freaking out and threatening to break my arm.” He said bewilderedly.

 It was Jackie’s turn to be stricken with major confusion. “What?” He blinked, turning to look back out at the eternal darkness of the void. “But…But I was out there…I know I was.” He whispered to himself out of thought. He looked back at Jack to see the man staring at him with uncertainty along with concern.

 “Jackie, what’s going on? Are you feeling alright?” He moved forward to feel Jackieboy Man’s forehead. He hummed. “It doesn’t feel like you’re running a fever.”

 Jackie groaned and grabbed Jack’s hand, pulling it away from his head. He shook his head. “I…I don’t know. Maybe it’s my ‘spidey-sense’ getting the better of me. I just…” He sighed with exhaustion, “I just thought that maybe something was wrong out here, that’s all. I guess I wanted some more action – more adventure – and came out here in search of it, I don’t know.”

 The Irishman was still looking at him doubtfully. “You sure? Because you seemed extremely disturbed a moment ago. I know you’ve got your superhero instincts set to a high alert level and all, but I –”

 Jackie’s eyes shot up to meet his. “I’ll be fine, Jack.” He shrugged. “Maybe…Maybe I need to try and distract myself with other things, you know? Get some hobbies – do some things that aren’t hero related. Change things up a bit and not let the adrenaline and need to prove myself get in the way too much.”

 Jack searched his eyes, trying to determine if the ego was telling the truth and would, indeed, be alright. After a good long minute of going over everything that had happened and what Jackie had said, he saw through the façade and noticed how the hero was keeping something from him. He was chewing on his lip and continuously looking around as though he was expecting to get jumped by something at any given moment. Jack’s eyes narrowed.

 “There’s something else bothering you…What is it?” He took a look past Jackie’s shoulder, seeing nothing but pure blackness. “Is it involving what you saw?”

 Jackie didn’t reply, not instantly anyway. He was on edge, the things he had seen and heard repeatedly tormenting his mind to the point he wanted to curl into a ball. His fingers clenched into tight fists, his nails digging into his palms through the fabric of his suit. He bit his bottom lip deeply, almost to the point of cutting it, hesitant to give an answer.

 “Jack…nothing can get into the void…right?” His gaze slowly glided back to his creator, trepidation hanging off of each word that slide off of his tongue.

 Jack blinked, having not really expected the question. He shook his head. “Right, nothing but me can come and go from here.” He frowned. “Why do you ask?”

 Jackie stepped closer, a hybrid of worry and suspicion upon his face. “I…I think there’s something wrong with the void.”

 His creator’s brows rose up into his hairline. “What makes you think that? If there was something wrong with the void, Jackie, I would be the first to know about it, believe me.”

 The masked hero huffed. “I know, I know – and I believe you. But something doesn’t feel right to me. All afternoon, I’ve gotten nothing but bad vibes, and when I stepped out here to investigate, those vibes grew a lot worse.” He eyed the green-haired man as he motioned out to the egos’ portals. “I even called out to everyone, asking if everything was alright, but no one answered me back.” He scoffed. “Hell, no one even came out to see what the fuss was about.”

 This got Jack’s immediate attention, if his eyes widening a tad bit was anything to go off of. “No one responded? No one?”

 Jackie shook his head slowly, eyes firmly fixed onto the Irishman. Jack tore his gaze away, staring off at each portal with concern as Jackie continued.

 “I know you’re not sick, Jack, and if something was troubling you, you’d tell us immediately, so I know that if something is in fact wrong here, it can’t be because of you.” He exhaled unevenly, taking an anxious look off to his left, spotting the circling blue ring to Dr. Schneeplestein’s home. “Thing is…after everything I just went through...I’m beginning to feel like something else is in here, with us, and my first guess is that it wants to bring harm to the good doctor.” He turned his attention back to his creator.

 The Irishman seemed to tense up a bit only to relax almost instantly, turning his head to look at the ego with wonder. He raised a brow. “How would anything, aside from me, manage to get in here, Jackie? And if something were here, how is it you could sense it before me? And why would it target Henrik first out of all of us?”

 Something was beginning to feel off yet again – Jackieboy Man could sense it. His heart was constricting tightly in his chest and the cancerous leech of warning and dismay he’d felt earlier on had returned, biting at his insides insistently to the point it was nearly driving him mad. There was something about Jack that wasn’t sitting right with him. He couldn’t exactly put his finger on it, but the way the man was acting – the way he was responding, the way he was asking questions – none of it felt comforting. In a situation like this, the Jack he knew would surely try to put his mind at ease, he’d listen to what he had to say and fully recognize just how bothered the ego was. And he most certainly would be concerned about the other egos’ wellbeing after everything Jackie had said. The Irishman would NOT simply brush off his paranoia and retort back with questions about his suspicions like what he was doing now. His questions may have seemed logical and genuinely laced with worry, but with the way his gut was twisting into one tight knot after another, Jackieboy Man KNEW something wasn’t right with his creator. Either he was hiding something…or maybe…

 Jackie licked his lips, telling himself to remain calm and not bombard the Irishman with questions. “I don’t know how it’d get in here…but maybe I sensed it first,” Because you’re not really Jack, “because my ‘spider-sense’ kicked in and you were probably busy with something.” He took a brief glance back at the entrance to the good doctor’s home. “As for why it’d target Dr. Schneeplestein first…” His gaze slid back to his supposed creator, “he’s a doctor…he helps people, like me…He’s a necessity in this void…If he goes down, then the rest of us would end up going down with him, one by one. You take out the medic and the soldiers are left to fend for themselves.”

 He swore for one fleeting moment he had gotten a brief glimpse of a smirk tugging at the corner of Jack’s lips, one eye twitching almost like he was holding himself back from saying or doing something. It made the hairs on Jackie’s neck stand up on end, only giving him all the more reason to be suspicious of who he was currently talking to. He swallowed and turned, eyeing Schneeplestein’s portal.

 “I should go check on him, make sure everything is alright.” He moved to step forward, about to storm off to the doctor’s home.

 “Now hold on a minute.” An arm lunged out and grasped the hero’s wrist, stopping him from proceeding any further. Jackie gave him a questionable look. “I’ll go.”

 The hero’s heart gave a fierce jolt in his chest, not comfortable with the idea of Jack going in there to check on his friend. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm…

 “Jack, I’m worried about him, okay? I have about as much right as you do to go in there and make sure the man’s fine.”

 “I understand that, but Jackie, it’s my job – my sole responsibility – to come and check up on you all every day and make sure each and every one of you is happy, and more importantly, safe and sound.”

 “Yes, but –”

 “Jackie, just because you’re a hero, doesn’t mean you have to be responsible for every single life here in the void. That’s my job, not yours’.” He stated calmly yet firmly. “I get how your instincts are telling you that you need to make sure everything’s well, especially since it involves a close friend, but you shouldn’t put that sort of stress on your shoulders.”

 He leaned in a patted the hero’s shoulder lightly, looking into his eyes and showing sincerity.

 “Please. Go back to your world and resume your heroic duties there. Trust me enough to go and visit Henrik myself. I’ll go and see how he’s doing – hell, I’ll check up on the other two as well if it’ll put you at ease. I’ll report back to you, I swear on my name.”

 That wasn’t sincerity in his eyes, that wasn’t even genuine kindness he was looking back at. Those blues eyes may have gave off the exact same look as Jack’s, but the heart and care was completely one-hundred percent gone and nonexistent. Whoever this was, they were straight up mocking the hero. Jackie stared at him for a dragged out minute, the cogs in his head turning, attempting to think of a plan. Finally, he gave a nod, tore his gaze away, and released a defeated sigh.

 “Alright…Alright, fine, you’re right. I need to stop letting my ego get in the way.” He eyed him. “And I do trust you. You care for all of us just as much as we care for each other.”

 Jack gave a reassuring smile and began to move away from Jackie. “Of course. I created you guys, after all. Why wouldn’t I care?”

 The masked man could barely breathe at this point what with how tight his chest felt. Those last few words…

 Jack motioned for him to go on back to his part of the void as he slowly walked backward toward Schneeplestein’s portal. “Go on. Go back home. I’ll check back in with you within the hour, I swear it.” He beamed warmly before spinning on his heel, nearing the blue ring. “I’m sure everything’s alright. Knowing him, he’s probably just busy.” He scoffed. “Maybe he’s working things out with his family, who knows?” He stepped into the ring and with that, he was gone.

 A vivid flash of Ilsa’s reanimated rotting corpse with her mangled face burst through the hero’s mind and he cringed violently, clenching his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the image. Inhaling and exhaling deeply to steady his poor nerves, the quivering Jackieboy Man reopened his eyes, his attention set on the open blackness of the void – the unmarked area for which he knew he had ventured out into moments ago.

 He knew what he had seen, he knew that something was here in the void and whatever it was was lurking within the depths of this world. The man he had been speaking with before – he may have looked and sounded like Jack but his overall demeanor was unnervingly questionable. He seemed to come off as knowing something Jackie didn’t and it was racking the poor hero’s body with apprehension. If he was Jack, someone or something must’ve done something to him. But if it wasn’t Jack…

 Answers. He needed answers. And he needed them now.

 Glancing out at the entrance to the doctor’s home for a split second before returning his attention to the darkness, the masked ego stood up straight, sucked in his one and only breath of bravery, and stormed off into the endless shadows of nightmares.

 Jack had left to check up on Schneeplestein and was most likely going to check in on Marvin and Chase afterwards as well. Jackieboy Man had about no more than an hour to search for proof of what he feared – one hour for him to be the hero everyone knew him to be.

 Only one hour to wander in the dark. And only one fear he honest-to-god hope wasn’t true.

Part 15 - Good Puppet

Part 17 - Do You Really Like Him That Much?

Author’s Note: No more breaks ;)

@gridhorizon @jse-fandom-protection-squad @septic-possessed @septic-fallen @butterlover328 @steffid101 @sketchy-scribs-n-doods @no-strings-puppet @haveaverynicetime @golden-eyed-guardians @fear-is-nameless @nightmarewolf133 @maybekatie @jack-a-yote @lil-gib @aeoix @lemonofweirdness @jaysflight @vity-dream @thatdorkcaci @jacksinsanity @silvadraconis @adreamoverlife @viostormcaller @wingsofthefierydragonheart

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #203

I’m not dead, World of Warcraft just devoured my life again.

Have you ever been inside of an abandoned building? Yes; a shack first, but we picked up the courage to just barely set foot into this small building absolutely littered with newspapers and such. Almost went into the main house, but my sister, friend, and I were too intimidated by the idea. I didn't want to imagine what could be in there; already anxious by that age, I worried about feral animals or homeless being in there. Have you ever actually believed in monsters? (Like as a kid) Yes, I think. Do you have any fascination with the macabre? Examples? Oh boy, do you know me? I find most gore cool, I love bone art/vulture culture sort of stuff, I find death and decay fascinating, then there's the roadkill photography I do (done in only great respect/to show the horror of what we can cause), dark and especially gory artwork... I could go on for a while. Do you actually think skeletons are scary? I LOVE skeletons, add that to the above list. I was always excited in school if our science class had a replica in it. What monster movie is your favorite? This is broad... You mean like, actual monsters? Not like Freddy Krueger, per se, and focused on them? Hell I dunno, maybe Monsters Inc., lol. Is Hocus Pocus really a good movie, or a bit overrated? We cannot associate if you so much as dislike Hocus Pocus. What witch-themed movie/show is your favorite, anyhow? See above. Do you like The Nightmare Before Christmas? Hell yeah. Ha, pretty funny though: I'm not obsessed with the movie or anything, yet people give me sooooooo much Jack Skellington stuff for my birthday and/or Christmas. I do love Jack, totally, but you'd assume I was more in love with the character than I actually am. Do you count it as a Halloween movie and a Christmas movie? Halloween, for me. Do you like Jack or Sally better? Jack. What other Tim Burton works do you enjoy, if any? Corpse Bride and Alice in Wonderland are my absolute favorites, then there's Frankenweenie, Beetlejuice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach (literally my lil sis's and my childhoods), and probably more. I just love him. Are there any ‘dark’ or ‘spooky’ films you recommend? Absolutely the original Blair Witch Project. Spoiler, you never see the "witch," and that just made it so much spookier, particularly when there's a scene that seems to have a high chance of her showing up on the camera. It's very convincing in selling it as "based on a true story;" the characters act realistic in the situations they're in and are very dedicated to acting well. It's my personal definition of a "good" horror movie. If anything, shit, watch it for the ending. Creepiest goddamn thing. Just for fun – what would your personal hell look like? Yeesh, let's not visualize that... On Supernatural, do you like the angels or demons better? I am way, WAY behind, but from very faint memories, I believe the demons. Have you ever purchased anything from an occult or New Age shop? What? No. Do you know any Pagans/Wiccans? I believe one of my old friends is Wiccan? Do you know any Satanists? I don't believe so. Would you ever keep a tarantula as a pet? Nah. Are there any urban legends in your area? What are they? Looked it up and apparently NC does have some, but idk about *my* area. Do you find dead trees beautiful? Some, like really big ones. Who was the last person you sat next to? Mom. Are you embarrassed to let others see you without makeup? No. Have you ever had a nickname at your church? If so, what? Don't believe so, when I grew up going to church. What was the last stuffed animal you bought? Not sure. Maple trees, fir trees, or palm trees? Maple. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? Naomi, easily. I used to want to name my hypothetical daughter that. Which biblical guys name do you prefer: Seth, Jedidiah, Ezra, or Buz? Seth. Who is the hardest working person you know? MY. MOTHER. She works her fucking ASS off; I'd like to see most people handle even a single day in her life. Can you name any songs by Godsmack? A few: "No Rest For The Wicked," "Whatever," "Mama," "Voodoo," "Voodoo Too," "Hollow," "Time Bomb," "The Enemy," and... that may be it? What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Meeting Sara. How deeply do you care for your education? Is it something you take seriously? I don't really know how to answer this. Like... I care, but I don't care enough to be competitive about it or obsess over it. I target for just being "enough." Would you prefer to go to a beach or to a park for a day, and why? What would you do? Park. The beach is too hot, windy, and I hate the feel of sand. Idk what I'd do at the park considering there are various kinds... What are five things you own in your favorite color? Tank top, iPod, uh... I'm blanking. Is your favorite clothing store close to your house or do you have to travel far? The nearest one is like an hour away. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ ‘hehe’ or something else? The former. Do you have any unusual skills? No. Do you have any bug bites right now? No. Do you like to look at other peoples’ houses? Sure, when riding by them. What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever received? Good question. Maybe my toes are cute? (They're fucking tiny.) Would you say you’re more witty or childish about jokes? Witty, I guess. What do you think about video games? One of the greatest technological achievements. Video games brought forth a new form of entertainment to enjoy, one that can hold someone's focus for hours and stay fun. They can also tell fantastic stories, just like reading a book or watching TV, and the more and more realistic in vision games are becoming, it just becomes easier with every game to feel more immersed in the universe. What would you, or do you, study at college? I'm going for zoology. Have you ever had, or wanted, a pet ferret? Oh my god in Heaven, yes. They are so damn cute; when Sara was here and we were in PetSmart for something, I actually started tearing up and squealing because of how GODDAMN PRECIOUS THEY WERE, like they all came up to the glass pawing at us, and watching them play was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. The only thing holding me back from getting one is the fact I know they are veeery messy and require a lot of care. Is there anything you find undeserving of the hype it received? Eh, don't feel like thinking about this. In other words, idk and idc. Do you think it’s better to label yourself than be labelled? Who cares, honestly. Don't restrain yourself with a label, and what others see in you and you following along with it solely because of that is naive. What’s something you do a lot? Over-evaluate anything and everything, because my OCD has been an absolute beast for the longest time. Are you currently on any other websites? Twitch and deviantART are open. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? YES. I have done this since like... late middle school or earlier when the hair to the right of my part covered my eye. My mom points it out all the time, and no matter how many times I've tried to unlearn it, I can't do it. My head physically feels weird if I straighten it. When was the last time you laughed at someone? Some time earlier when I was watching Mark play GTA. Do you have any projects on the go right now? I started a massive YouTubers video with "High Hopes" over a month ago, and now I haven't touched it since the day I started lmao. Do you, or did you, really look forward to when you can finally move away? Eh... yes and no. I really question my ability to be that independent. What’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever seen? Who knows. What’s your favorite name ever? Alessandra. Are you a hat person? No. Have you ever forgotten how to do something simple? Ha, yeah. Have you ever been hit on by somebody way too old for you? Possibly an old family friend; he had this thing for being REALLY flirtatious with my older sister, and then me sometimes as I got older. We were never alone with him or anything, I mean he did it right in front of our mother and dad (he fucking loathed him because of it, probably still does), so we think he was joking? Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? Yes. Have you ever had to run from the cops? No. Do you know anyone who is constantly humming? No? Are you afraid of any specific animals? I mean the usual insects and spiders, then there's the few more unusual ones such as SLUGS, MAGGOTS, larvae in general really, whale sharks, worms... probably others that aren't coming to me. Did anything comical happen to you today? No. Are you any good at fussball? Not especially. Who do you usually dream about? Jason is most often in the ones I actually remember. Yay. It made sense when I wasn't even beginning to heal, but now that I am and I STILL have them despite having fully and entirely moved on, I finally just asked my mother if it was normal, which apparently it is extremely common with even "recovered" PTSD victims. Shoulda asked/looked it up way sooner... Do you visit your dentist as often as you should? Yeah, thanks to Mom. She always ensures I stay updated with medical exams/appointments. I'm lucky as hell to have her here to keep my life straight. Do you still have a teddy bear? Maybe in the bags in the attic? Did you get any Girl Scout cookies this year? No. They don't come here. What’s your favorite fairytale? Bitch Shrek don't even @ me it's a fucking fairytale. Do you apologize when you know you should? Usually. In most cases, I feel overwhelming guilt otherwise. Do apologies really make anything better? Sometimes, to a degree. Can other people tell when you’re high? I've never been high. Do you own a birdcage? No. Have you ever planted anything? Yeah. Have you ever been blackmailed into doing anything? No. What eyeshadow color looks best on you? I only ever wear black. Can you tolerate small children? jfc no. In almost any situation. Even my niece and nephew, I can't be around them but for so long without getting burnt out or aggravated. What’s the stupidest behavior humans partake in? Holy sweet mother of The Lord God Almighty- Have you ever seriously considered suicide? Yeah. Did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? I like... immediately hit a curb lmao, and I STILL can't turn past them without the risk of running over it. It's one of the things that's holding me back from getting my license yet. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? UM, The Lion King??????? Hurry the FUCK up July. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? I've never even used a check... How many speeding tickets have you been given? None. Not that I drive a lot. First kiss: quick, sloppy, and forgettable or passionate and memorable? It was fucking adorable and definitely memorable. I don't care how I feel about him now, that's a little event I'll always remember and cherish. Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White, or Larry the Cable Guy? OH GOD what was that stand-up show with just them? I LOVED that back as a teen. I don't know who I liked most, but probably Jeff or Bill. I do know Ron was my least favorite, but he wasn't bad. How many bills do you pay online? I'm a 23-year-old "adult" who doesn't have bills. What’s the highest score you ever bowled? Hell if I remember. Nothing impressive. What’s your definition of a good, full breakfast? The "perfect" picture is like pancakes, scrambled cheesy eggs, and bacon. Whats your favorite flavor of jam? Of what I've tried, I only like grape. Are you a fast runner? I can't even TELL you the last time this bitch ran. At school was is/was the main reason you get/got in trouble? It was never severe trouble, just a quick word, but Jason because we'd always hug and usually just exchange a peck in-between going to classes; both were no-nos in our shit school, and the hall monitors or whatever would tell us not to if they saw, buuut we didn't listen. Hell, I think maybe hand-holding was against the rules too, which I know we didn't abide by if that was present. Do you make your views heard or do you hide in the background? It depends. I'd say heard more often, maybe? Do you have many friends from foreign countries? No. Can you open your mouth very wide? No. You know those things at the dentist where you have to bite down straight onto them for an impression of your molars? If the dentist was considerate enough, I'd use the one for older children instead of adult because I canNOT fully bite down on the normal ones without it being incredibly painful and I gag like mad to the point I inevitably tear up. What was the reason for your last x-ray? My knees were being checked with all the horrible pain I'd been dealing with from them. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Not for the sake of being rebellious, no. I only had such streaks (and still do) when I saw/see them appropriate to the situation. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. What is the most common name where you live? I dunno. Elizabeth, maybe? Actually just looked it up for the hell of it and what I found first says William (which I can absolutely believe) and Ava (which I question?). When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Jump, gasp, and either dash or stare at whatever the source is like a deer in headlights. Does it bother you to be around people who are smoking? Yes. How much time do you spend on the phone a day? Not long at all. I check Instagram usually at least once, and I don't follow a lot at all. Sometimes I check Facebook on my phone, but I usually do on my laptop now. That doesn't take very long, either. Your favorite song lyrics right now: "What I do know is come Judgment Day, I followed love; can you say the same?" from "Natural Born Sinner" by In This Moment. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? Ever heard "Runaway Love" by Ludacris & Mary J. Blige? Bitch you bet it makes me wanna cry. Name three books that have actually made you cry [really cry not a few tears]: I don't think I've ever gone beyond just a few tears, really. The Notebook probably was the hardest on me, though. Or Old Yeller. Idr. Is it easy to annoy you? Maybe. Do you watch musicals? If so, which is your favorite? If not, why not? No, because they make me cringe into a new dimension. Do you wear short shorts & tanktops in the summer? You will never see me in shorts, and I wear tank tops like... always. Always to bed, at least. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? Having a baby period does. No fucking thanks. Do you remember who your best friend was in fourth grade? Quiata. Maybe still Brianna, idr. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. Is there anywhere in your house that you’re scared to be alone in? No. Any embarrassing/childish shows you secretly still enjoy watching? No. I don't watch TV period, but what I do like, BELIEVE THIS SHIT OR NOT, I'm not embarrassed. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I think the longest I was ever supposed to stay somewhere was three months, but that didn't actually happen. The longest I've actually been in a hospital was two weeks, give or take. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? I'm not straight so obviously not. Name three things in your room that others probably don’t have in theirs: An iguana, a snake, and a rat. In the same general area lmao. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Nothing. If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? A pixie cut. The kind with the shaved sides. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? Uhhh my snake's cage? Do you diet and exercise regularly? I do a 16-hour fast daily. What’s something that you think is really cute? Even though I don't want kids, I can't see men being really vibrant and cute with babies or toddlers without just alksdfjioawer Would you rather donate time, blood, or money? Hm. I feel like ultimately, money would be most beneficial in the majority of cases? Can grills be sexy on a guy? They are incredibly unattractive on anyone. Are braces cute? Not particularly, but they're not like, unattractive. Unlike grills, they serve an actual purpose and aren't as obnoxious. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. What brings out the worst in you? Being extremely stressed. I'm seriously snappy and irritable. Would you rather go to Canada or Mexico on vacation? Canada, probably. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? I don't think about it because I don't have a choice if I want to see. Do you ever wear hats indoors? I don't wear them period. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? If so, did you get any fun extra stuff because you pledged a higher amount? No. What’s your favorite comic book/graphic novel? I don't have one. What’s something you can do without looking/with your eyes closed? Type. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? If so, what is the combination and what does it mean? No. What was the last thing you swore at? I don't know. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? Ugh no. Let's not remind myself of dark times or more specifically cringy ones. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I don't find any really funny. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Ummm "fancy" clothing brands, to name one of the top contenders. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? If so, what did you do with it? Maybe a cat? I don't think so, though. Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? My recovery. What is something you have a lot of experience in? I guess photography? What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I don't feel like going to check. Do you prefer things (movies, books, etc) that scare you or make you laugh? Entertainment media rarely actually scares me, but I prefer "scary" stuff. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? Well, I had to get braces, so I would assume not? Do you try not to take a lot of medicine or do you take it whenever? I avoid OTCs when I can; I'm on enough prescribed stuff. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? Sour. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Are fireworks illegal to buy where you live? The big ones, yes. People still go to Myrtle Beach on the SC side to buy them tho. Can you talk and work at the same time? No. Do you care more about yourself or more about others? This really depends on what the situation is... and my state of mind at the time. But I think usually myself? It used to be others, but I learned how unhealthy that can be. Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? I get bored excruciatingly easily. How often do you re-watch/re-read things or are you more ‘once only’? I'm typically an "only once" person. What color ink do you prefer writing in? Black? Have you inherited any garments from your parents or grandparents? I don't think so. When was the last time you visited the doctor? Why did you go? Around a week ago to get my vitamin D re-checked. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes. Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? My VR coach. What movie are you looking forward to coming out? I will be seeing the live action TLK as fast as physically possible. What was the title of the last song you listened to? "God Hates Your Outfit" lmao. ^Who performs it? Jeffree Star. Can you do a backflip? No. Is your car newer than a 2004? I don't have my own car. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. How would you feel if you knew you were adopted? If I grew up knowing, I wouldn't feel much of anything new besides the fact I'd be grateful as hell someone chose me. If I just suddenly found out, I'd be inexplicably shocked and furious I was never told. Do you have freckles? No. Do you have dimples? Very clearly on my left cheek, and I have a super shallow one on the right that used to be more apparent. And I have back dimples. When was the last time you went fishing? When Sara was here in June last year. Do you know anyone with a pet that has your name? No. Do you expect to be married in the next 2 years? Most likely not. What was the last injury you received? Probably something from Roman playing. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah. Do you regret it? No. Do you ever get in weird moods and listen to music you normally hate? Very rarely I listen to pop from when I was a kid. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Well, we "dated" for less than a day, but idk. I'd guess he's 27-ish now? Have you ever tried a colorful macaroon? No. What’s the last thing you made out of clay? An anatomical heart, I think? Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Not really for kids? We took them in middle school, and they weren't like, super kiddy. How many years were you homeschooled? I never was. What color is the tree outside your window? Uhhh probably green? I don't wanna get up and look. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. Which pharmacy do you use? Harris Teeter. What is this month’s calendar picture? Don't have a calendar. Is there a coffee shop in your town that’s better than Starbucks? N/A Who has the best personality on YouTube? Shane Dawson's is probably the most universally likable, I think. Have you ridden your bike yet this year? I don't have one anymore. What does your bike look like? N/A Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? I babysat only once and hated it. Not the kid, just the duty. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Does one side of your family live in another state? Both sides do. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. What, if anything, are you severely allergic to? Severely, nothing. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No, thankfully. Do you spill food on yourself while you eat? Not often. What is a topic you like to answer questions on the most? Meerkats or Mark. Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I have no clue. Which Clue (or Cluedo) character is your favorite? I was always Miss Scarlet because even as a kid I knew she was hot stuff. Do you watch any old films? If so, name a few of your favorites. I don't really watch movies period. But a few I like are The Outsiders, Old Yeller, Johnny Got His Gun, A Raisin In The Sun, Steel Magnolias... lots of others, really. Just not many are coming to mind immediately. Who are some of your classic era film actors and actresses, if any? Idk. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? The only ex who I'm aware even loved me in the first place is Jason, and I probably wouldn't say anything. Got a very strong feeling my PTSD would literally erupt like goddamn Saint Helen and I'd leave the situation in the blink of an eye. I don't love him anymore, and I don't even know if I'd believe him telling me that now, but I know damn well it would fuck with me. Would you ever work at a movie theater? It sure as hell wouldn't be my first pick. At least here, they're grossly underpaid and overworked. Do you have a phone charger in your car? If you have a specific type of cord. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my mom. Dad's like... 20-ish minutes away, if that? Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? Mom is always with me. Do you like pineapple on pizza? Never tried, never want to. I can just about guarantee I would positively loathe it. Sweet and savory don't mix with me. Do you like to hold hands? With my s/o and I'm comfortable with them, yeah. What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? 13 Reasons Why. How many times have you been in love? Twice. Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? However old I was in the 7th grade. Last thing you cooked? Toaster strudels in the toaster oven. Movie you want to see? I wanna see the newest HTTYD soooo badly, but I doubt I'll get the chance while it's in theaters. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy. The others are dead. Can you snap your fingers? Poorly with my right hand. Can you wink? Only with my right eye. How many keys do you carry with you? One. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, she's my mom and we're very close. Do you own any jerseys? No. Who knows your biggest secrets? Sara. Have you ever ran from your own parents? No. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Do you crack your knuckles? I physically can't, and besides, the sound is disgusting to me. Who IMed you on Facebook last? Girt. Could you see yourself dropping out of high school? I'm long out of high school, and I didn't. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? I don't wear shorts, tight shirts, dresses, skirts, crop tops, I wouldn't dare touch a romper, I highly doubt I'd wear yellow... just to name the ones that came to me immediately. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? YO Avril Lavigne was my emo model okay. She's still a queen. The last time you had a conflict with someone else, did you confront them about it or keep it to yourself? Do you think it would have been better or worse to do the opposite? Uhhh... I don't remember who this was. When you finally make a decision to do something you have been contemplating for a while, do you become highly anxious and motivated to do it right away? Yup. When you were a kid did you make up lies about your life to make yourself seem more interesting? Alternatively, did you know kids who told these stories and did you believe them? Bitch I made up that a talking wolf came to me and gave me animal powers and the rule was I could only tell three people. I was a fucking weird kid. I know others who have made things up, too. Can you think of a moment from your childhood that was totally “on brand” for you, or consistent with your adult personality? I'm sure there's something, but nothing's coming to me rn. Have you ever warned someone else about something, whether it was about a person in their life or an oncoming weather event? Yup, in numerous scenarios. So, is it "gif" with a hard G or soft G? I say both, but "jiff" more frequently. Is there a book or movie that you thought was about something completely different from what it actually ended up being about? What did you think it would be? Maybe... Is there an item that you bought on a whim, but now consider it a crucial part of your life and you would or have purchased it again? I have no clue.

[starkexpo]

SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR

YOU THERE. THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD. 

S P O I L E R S. 

I don’t want to spoil anyone, so don’t look at this post if you haven’t seen it yet! Don’t do it! Turn around! Do not pass go! Do not collect $200! 

Anyway. 

some

more

space

for

people

on 

mobile

HERE WE GO.

Holy shit you guys. Hooooooooooooly shit. Holy shit holy shit holy shit. They lost!!!!! And like, you know everything is gonna be “okay” in the end, at least for some of them, because Peter disappears (OH NO MY HEART!!!!) but the next Spiderman movie is coming out and takes place right after Avengers 4, soooo... But my babies!!!!! Bucky!!!!! T’Challa!!!! Peter Quill!!!! PETER PARKER MY SPIDER SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. No. And Tony my sweet prince got fucking STABBED. But dammit Strange, what is your fucking plan??? Now you gone! What happens now!!??!?!?!?!?!?!? Captain Marvel is coming thank you end credit scene, and I know she’s crazy awesome and has powers, but how???????! How is this going to get fixed????? And Gamora, holy shit, saw it coming though. :’(  Also, I’ve never been a huge fan of Loki but he was growing on me a bit, so his death was a bit upsetting. Plus I was like, holy crap shit just got real if they’re killing off a main character this early on... O.O

Also though, I also admire Tony so Thanos got me there. But why Nebula??? Out of all the people to stay, it was her?? I expected it to be at least Peter Quill and Tony, not Nebula and Tony who now have to find a way to Earth to fix all this shit. And we were lied to about the Hulk being in that fight scene in Wakanda, although the back and forth with him and Bruce was pretty funny. And Thor is such a badass I love it. But seriously Thor, why didn’t you cut off his fucking arm at the end there????? You have a big fucking axe, USE IT. Cut off the arm, take the gauntlet, no more all powerful bad guy. But noooooooo, you had to NOT DO THAT. Or, you know, cut off his head like he said. >:( 

Also, can we discuss the single biggest twist of this whole damn movie: RED FUCKING SKULL. What the actual fuck???????! I actually gasped and went, “OH MY GOD” super loud, lol oops. But for real, never fucking expected that holy shit. 

I’m so shook though. alskdjfsdjflaksdjflaksjdfad. SUCH A GOOD MOVIE BUT JFC!!!!!!!!!!! asldkfjaslkdfjasdf. I can’t believe we have to wait A YEAR AKA FOREVER to see how this ends. asldkfjaskfdj. I’m not gonna make it. I’m actually going to die. RIP @ ME. 

What about you guys? If you’ve seen it, and I assume you have considering this is the end of my post and there’s SPOILERS ALL OVER, what did you think???? Good points? Bad points? Plot holes??? How awesome is Tony Stark??? (Answer: crazy awesome.) 

alsdkfjlskdjfsaldfkjalksdjf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 301

Ermagherd guys. It’s been 84 years but the new season is finally here! And not gonna lie, I was about 50/50 excited and nervous for the new episodes to come out because ugh season two…

But I actually really liked the episode! I felt the things I was supposed to feel! I wanted to punch the people I thought I’d want to punch! I yelled a lot of things at Frank because I still hate him! My desire to smash the patriarchy grew three times! It went by really, really fast! Can they all go by this fast so it’s not like waiting 84 more years for Jamie and Claire to get back together? Cool.

Anywho, ramblings are under the cut. I split them up between Boston and Scotland just to keep it organized but I *loved* the editing of the episode. And the direction. Good job, new director guy!

(omfg i forgot how long i get when i write these things and also how fucking long it takes to like proofread and format once i’m sober...)

Scotland

There are no more bagpipes in the theme music and it’s making me feel things. *shakes fist at Bear in the best way possible*

The shot with all the bodies is powerful and everything but I can’t also help feeling a little salty that season two/DIA exists since lol nothing matters. They’re all dead and they were always going to be dead and I just really didn’t like last season but this is the new season sooo moving on.

The body they zoom over after the piles of bodies is Murtagh, right? Because it looks like Murtagh. And Amazon’s x-ray thing is telling me it’s Murtagh. So Murtagh’s not getting saved? Because when they talk about him later in the episode I got my hopes wayyy up that he was going to come back at some point in the season. So now I guess they’re going to have Jamie maybe remember later on? Like maybe keep the part on the ship after Claire is hurt when he tells her the story about how he dies? Anywho, I’m going to go have feelings about Murtagh now.

This killing of the wounded is the most brutal parallel to Prestonpans, guys. (RIP Lt. Babyface)

Also, Sam Heughan and Tom Hardy should star in a two-man show where Sam acts everything without speaking and Tom does the whole thing with his Bane/Mad Max/Dunkirk masks on so he like only has an eyebrow left visible.

Seriously though. Murder me with feels why don’t you, dying!Jamie.

And it’s not supposed to be a surprise that it’s BJR on top of him, right? Like they didn’t think they were going to make that a reveal or anything did they? Because like who the fuck else would it be...

I’m really glad they edited it this way with it all out of sequence and cutting back and forth and stuff though. Like Prestonpans was straightforward and it was awesome. But man does this just hit me in the “omg they’re all doomed and Jamie’s dying and that’s what he wants so badly so like I want him to get what he wants but he can’t die because #plot” feels. Plus the nod to the book where his memories of the battle are all jumbled.

JFC, BPC. STFU about your birthday cup. What the actual fuck is wrong with you. How are you so bad at this. It’s been more than a year since season two and I still just want to punch your very punchable face.

Ok I know Jamie at the stones is supposed to be all heartbreaking and moving and shit, and it is, I guess, as much as it can be in the 0.5 seconds we see him there. But him smelling Claire’s plaid just reminds me of this post and I lol’ed an inappropriate amount for the moment.

I *really* want to punch BPC’s “oh shit, we’re fucked” face. Like when Jamie tells him to order the charge while there’s still a chance and his face is just like that look of horror over what’s happening like WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS HAPPENING YOU FUCKING IDIOT WITH YOUR FUCKING BIRTHDAY CUP FROM YOUR DAD. LOOK THE FUCK AROUND YOU. THIS ISN’T A FUCKING GAME AND OMFG SOMEONE PLEASE PUNCH HIM.

Also inappropriately chuckling at Jamie murdering a dude with fucking divot, but moving on because…

MURTAGH!!! Omg both of their faces when they see each other and “Where’ve you been, enjoying a wee whisky?” *Murtagh casually kills a dude* “You’re welcome.” I JUST LOVE THE TWO OF THEM SO MUCH. Also, thanks for the heads up that the Lallybroch guys are home safe, Murtagh. Move over, Game of Thrones season seven. Outlander has had teleporting since the beginning.

Outlander: Where Time Travel Is Real, But Travel Time Isn’t

All that training in Je Suis Prest and they end up just charging in. Because lol nothing matters. But I did really like Je Suis Prest so whatever.

I’m not sure I like this weird “magic hour” lighting on the Jamie and BJR fight? Like I get if that’s just when they filmed it that’s one thing, and that their fight is like for *all the closure* so it’s almost separate from the rest of the battle. But I’m not feeling it?

Super glad that we do get that closure of seeing Jamie kill him though, and that Jamie remembers it so he can like process and move on from that part of his life.

Them landing like in a hug and then basically spooning is a bit on the nose though, show. Although like thanks I guess for having him keep Jamie alive and not bleeding out by literally laying on his wound?

Oh the dragonfly in amber. I’m still not a fan of the gifts at the stones thing from last year. But I guess I’m ok with him having something of Claire’s to hold on to so like when vision!Claire appears there’s like something physical tying her to him?

Also, vision!Claire is fucking stunning.

I swear to fuck Jamie thinking he’s seeing Claire in the early episodes is going to murder me.

“I’m not gonna leave ye to die in the mud. Even if ye are a pig-headed loon who canna hold his whisky.” “Drink you under the table.” Literally dying Jamie Fraser defending his alcohol tolerance is my new aesthetic. 

I’m glad they show him dropping the amber because like there goes his last physical memory of Claire. *sobs quietly* But also to show how it eventually ended up in the museum for Claire to see last season. Because I def thought they weren’t going to bring that back again and her seeing it last season was just a weird bit of haha look how this is here now for Claire to see! Feel things, monkey, feel the feelings! (That said, I don’t know if I like it enough to merit the time spent on it at the stones last year…)

Ok so I’m starting to think that Murtagh is really dead and that really was him that we saw on the ground at the beginning and they’re just bringing him up again to established that no one knows what happens to him so they can go back later in the season and have Jamie remember him dying and then I’ll have all the Murtagh feelings.

(Seriously though, please fucking save Murtagh!)

I really, *really* love Rupert in the scenes in the house. I love that they let him step up and, with Jamie out of commission, really become the leader of these men. His “No, my lord. Traitors all. Shall we be hanged then.” has just that right amount of fuck you in it, but his “Thank you, my lord.” is definitely genuine. Like yeah, he’s going to die, but at least it’s an honorable man who’s going to kill him in an honorable way?

Seriously though, I love Hal.

Ugh, Jamie saying “she’s gone.” That’s going to be a thing isn’t it. Like with Jenny and then with LJG. And it’s going to murder me every time isn’t it. Ok.

The goodbye with Rupert is my everything. The humor and feelings and Angus and omg. I have feelings.

And the way Rupert’s voice changes when he says “aye.” And when he says his name. Guys why is my face wet.

“No man in the king’s custody will be shot lying down on my watch.” I fucking love you, Hal.

Gah, the way Jamie’s voice changes and becomes stronger when he says his name, like Rupert’s did. It’s like it’s their chance to go out with all of their dignity. But then Jamie’s fades because he’s so weak. *sobs*

“Does the name John Grey mean anything to you?” “Well no, because even though he gave your father’s name and title plus his birth order last year, so he clearly wasn’t trying to hide his identity or anything, the writers decided to keep him in the script as William Grey. There really was no reason to do that. They could have just made him John Grey from the start. But they didn’t. For reasons I will never understand. So no, the name John Grey means nothing to me. Good day, sir. I said good day.”

Gah like Jamie is so sad that I really want to shoot him and put him out of his misery but I also want ep. 306 so thanks for being noble af, Hal.

I am def going to start using “This is a deuce of a situation.” in my everyday life.

Oh hey, Jenny and Ian. See you next week!

Boston

Ok but that first shot of Claire. Like that resigned look that this is her life now and she’s trying to convince herself that she’s ok with it. And the little sigh like “ok I can do this” but like more that she thinks she *needs* to do this. Break my heart a little right there, Claire. Also, please leave Frank so you can take the time you need to heal and grieve and process instead of keeping it all bottled up inside to live up to some “conditions” because that’s really not healthy.

“Are you sure we can afford all this?” “Oh totally, you see we need to have enough room to like fit the camera operators in and the sound guys and the rest of the crew and some lighting stuff and also it looks way better on TV if we have space to move around so we can definitely afford this wicked spacious house. Gotta save the cramped conditions for prisons and ships and stuff. Don’t worry about the rent, dear.”

No shade at all meant on the set. I’m just silly.

“You’ve always said you wanted a real home.” “It certainly is real.” BUT IT'S NOT HOME BECAUSE JAMIE IS HER HOME AND JAMIE ISN'T HERE. *has feelings*

“The study can be wherever the lady of the house desires.” … “The kitchen, where presumably, the lady of the house will be rustling up various appetizing dishes.” Yes, Claire, you’re the lady of the house! You can totally decide where my study is going to be! But lol your place is in the kitchen because you’re a woman and that’s what women do! Fuck you, Frank.

I almost like the handful of scenes where Claire and Frank are getting along on the surface because it’s almost like a window into what their life was like pre-War. And in each instance, I cannot see Claire being happy in that sort of relationship long term even if she hadn’t gone through the stones. Like your cowboy impression is cute, Frank, but your tendency to treat your wife like an accessory instead of a person is not.

That said, WHO THE FUCK CARES BECAUSE IT’S NOT FRANK’S STORY AND WE DON’T NEED TO SEE WHO THEY WERE BEFORE BECAUSE IT’S NOT A STORY ABOUT FRANK AND CLAIRE.

Ok so seeing Claire struggling to light the stove gave me the same feelings the gif did. But seeing her sit on the couch and then see the fireplace I was just like OMG DO IT! DO IT DO IT DO IT! AND SHE FUCKING DID IT! @abreathofsnowandashes’ POST IS BASICALLY CANON AND I LITERALOL’ED WAY TOO HARD.

Claire waxing poetic about food cooked over an open fire is making me feel more feelings than it should.

But seriously her face in reaction to Betty Draper over here is awesome. I need Claire to start a neighborhood group where she turns all the women into massive feminists please and thank you.

“He likes surprises, does he?” “Oh yeah, totally. Last time I surprised him, he almost punched me and then destroyed a shed. So yeah, I’d say he loves them."

Please don’t give Jerry a heart attack, Millie. Claire already had one husband-murdering friend and I think that’s quite enough for one person. Thanks. You’re a peach.

Oh Claire. Oh honey. “Frank is very progressive. Very open-minded.” The look on her face when she says that like she’s trying to convince herself it’s true. Like yes, if you follow all of his conditions, you can stay together and raise the baby. But is it really being open-minded if literally all of his conditions are about you keeping everything locked away so he can go on pretending like everything is back to normal? Or is that just selfish. I’m voting selfish on that one.

“Just cook, clean, raise the kids, look pretty when they meet the boss.” Millie you are literally describing Frank’s ideal wife right now. And I think Claire on some level knows that. RUN AWAY CLAIRE, RUN AWAY! IT’S NOT TOO LATE! THESE ARE ALL THINGS THAT ARE NOT TIME-TRAVEL RELATED! PLEASE WAKE UP AND REALIZE THAT NOT ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS ARE BECAUSE YOU WENT BACK IN TIME!

Oh her face when Millie says she won’t find another man like Frank. SHE FOUND ONE SO MUCH BETTER AND HE’S NOT DEAD AND SHE’LL GET HIM BACK AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OK AGAIN!

Seriously though. The shots of Claire’s face when they switch back to the Boston side of things. Punch me right in the face with feels why don’t you, show. Like when she’s getting ready to go to Frank’s work thing. That cut from Jamie’s face that’s all full of pain to her face that’s also all full of pain. *sobs quietly* Like this woman is hurting! FFS! Look at everything she went through! Look at everything she lost! And she has no outlet for any of those emotions! And that look of just pain and loneliness and then resignation when Frank calls up to her and quoting Millie… I want to give her a hug and a therapist.

Ok so the scene at Harvard. Thank fuck Frank manages to not be a piece of shit in this scene because I need all my rage for the fucking Dean. I still hate you Frank, but you get a momentary reprieve here. Because this fucking dude needs to be punched in his smug-ass face. Like you’re seriously going to shit on a woman for reading the fucking newspaper?! First of all, don’t fucking ever shit on a woman for reading any-fucking-thing and second of all, your patriarchal bullshit runs so deep you can’t stand a woman reading the most popular newspaper in Boston?! It’s not like she rolled in and was like well I was reading the Atlantic (founded in Boston, what whatttt!) or the Economist or something that your fucking misogynist brain wouldn’t be able to handle. She was literally talking about reading a fucking #HotTake in the fucking local paper.

THAT’S RIGHT CLAIRE, YOU CAN GO TO MED SCHOOL! YOU SHOULD GO TO MED SCHOOL! DO THAT THING AND THEN SURGICALLY DISASSEMBLE THE PATRIARCHY!

Good boy, Frank. Way to stand up for your wife and not suck for once. But remember that little fun fact you just spouted about your wife because that’ll come up again later when I need to yell at you for being a piece of shit.

Omg though. Claire’s face when she says “yes, I’m very happy” is the best “you can go fuck yourself straight to hell” face I’ve ever seen. And grabbing Frank’s hand when she says it is clearly part of that and not like an actual, genuine taking of his hand and he knows that. And I don’t feel bad for him at all in that moment because yeah, he fucking needs that reminder that she’s sitting through this because of him so a tangential fuck you to you, Frank, for bringing me here for this wonderful experience.

"Are you alright? You're very quiet.” “Oh yeah, peachy keen. Just got condescended to for reading a newspaper, was told women were bad at the profession I was born to do and had to pretend to be totally ok with this being my life now. Totally fine.”

For serious, Claire. Your face there. Those feelings you’re feeling. These are not time travel adventure related feelings. These are this life sucks and I hate it feelings. You don’t need to stay here. This is getting super tedious. Frank sucks. Your life with him sucks. You have all this emotional baggage that you have every right to have and no outlet for it. Jamie wouldn’t want you staying in a fucking life that is making you this miserable. The baby hasn’t been born yet, there is still time to bounce before it gets even messier. Argh. Thank fuck there are only two more episodes of this stuff because there are only so many times I can yell JUST GET A FUCKING DIVORCE at the tv.

I felt more feelings than I should have felt at Claire looking at the bird. Like omg Claire’s face as she’s looking at it. Just out there. Being a bird. Doing its bird thing. Being free. YOU COULD BE FREE TOO CLAIRE! GO! BE FREEEEE!

Ok with this tea scene I literally had to google how British people make tea. Like I know I’ve talked about it with people before, like recently, but somehow in my head it wasn’t just like loose in a tin. I can’t even do a proper snarky hashtag about preferring the American way tea is packaged because that would make it seem like I was into a weird sex thing so I guess I’ll just have to blaspheme by saying I like Lipton’s and I’m not sorry.

So Claire likes America because "It's young, it's eager, it's constantly looking toward the future." Or, you could say it's...young, scrappy and hungry! Claire would totally be Hamiltrash. Frank wouldn't be. Fuck you, Frank, it’s a great show. Loosen up, geez.

Ok Frank, why did you go to touch her belly. You clearly know that she doesn’t like that. But you saw an opening when she said it’s “our baby” and you went for it. Like I know you really, really want things to be normal, but fucking don’t proactively touch Claire like that when you know it’s not welcome.

Also, seriously Frank? Have you met Claire? Yes, she’s English. But she grew up fucking all over the world. I don’t think she’s particularly sentimentally attached to the fucking Battle of Hastings. She’s trying to have a conversation with you. She’s opening up. She’s trying to be “normal” with you and share something she’s excited about doing. And your first thing is to question her? Fuck you. You’re a shitty person.

“These are things I fought a war for.” Ok Franky boy. Remember that scene a little bit ago when I said you got a reprieve from my hatred? You know, the one where you found like the singular decent bone in your body and decided to defend Claire for a second? Remember what it was you said? Oh right. SHE WAS A FUCKING COMBAT NURSE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. SHE WAS ALSO IN THE WAR. SHE WAS ON THE FUCKING FRONT FUCKING LINES OF THE MOTHERFUCKING WAR. And then guess what?! SHE FUCKING THEN FOUGHT IN ANOTHER WAR! THIS TIME AGAINST THE ENGLISH! AND EVERYONE SHE LOVED DIED! (except not really, hang in there girl) IT’S TOTALLY NORMAL THAT SHE WOULD HAVE CONFLICTED FEELINGS ABOUT ENGLAND AND BE LIKE HEY THIS UNITED STATES PLACE SEEMS OK (*pours one out for the current state of affairs*) I WANT TO MAYBE BE A CITIZEN.

And then this fucker’s like oh it’s something you really want to do? Well you don’t have to because I’ve got it covered. THAT IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT, FRANK! STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT YOU! SHE’S LITERALLY SAYING THAT THIS IS SOMETHING *SHE* WANTS TO DO. WHY ARE YOU SUCH A TWATWAFFLE.

And then he brings in the not letting him touch her shit. Like why couldn’t you have just let this be a fucking normal conversation, Frank. But since you brought it up. Let’s talk about Claire for a minute. Claire is pregnant. Claire was pregnant before. Claire lost her first child. Claire’s current pregnancy is going to result in Jamie’s child. Her fucking last chance to have a part of him in her life. So of course that’s something that’s fucking super emotional and that she’s super protective of. Because she also knows that she can’t fucking tell this child anything about Jamie. Because of your fucking conditions. Like I don’t think you can comprehend how much of a mindfuck that must be, Frank. So maybe don’t fucking touch her stomach if she’s made it clear she doesn’t want you to.

And then! With the fucking unwanted touching. Do you fucking know how many times this woman has been assaulted, Frank?! Hell, the show is not at all explicit that she wasn’t actually raped in the glade in ep. 108. And the deal with the king. And BJR. And the dudes at Leoch. And fucking Dougal. And the gang of dudes in Paris. And ones I’m probably forgetting about. So like if there was ever going to be anyone who might be wicked sensitive about unwanted touching, it’s fucking Claire. BUT GUESS WHAT! AND THIS IS THE KICKER, FRANK! THAT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER BECAUSE IF SOMEONE SAYS THEY DON’T WANT YOU TOUCHING THEM THEN YOU DON’T FUCKING TOUCH THEM IT IS LITERALLY THAT SIMPLE.

And of course she’s retreating into her shell, you fucking asshole. The amount of trauma this woman has gone through with no fucking outlet to deal with it. Of course she’s fucking isolating herself. But instead of being concerned about her and trying to help her, you’re just like omfg but what about meeeee?! Why can’t you just be “normal” for meeee?!

“What is it that you want from me?” “I want to know when you’re going to come back from the fucking past.” Fuuuuuck you, Frank. Because you’re asking when she’s going to go back to being how she was before. Well newsflash, Frank. She’s not. You’re never going to get your pre-War relationship back where Claire was 19 and thought you were the swellest guy. Because that’s what you want here. Stop fucking deluding yourself Frank, there aren’t enough conditions in the world to bring that girl back. So now you have this woman. Who is tearing herself apart from the inside trying to fucking live up to her side of your bullshit bargain. And at every turn you’re like nope, not good enough.

FUCKING PREACH IT. CLAIRE. PREACH.

I fucking love that she throws the ashtray at him because he again reduces what she had with Jamie to fucking. He’s been doing it since last season. He just can’t get his shitty-ass head around the fact that Claire loves Jamie with everything she has. It’s a great parallel to when Claire loses it at Bree in ep. 213 when Bree also says that Claire was just fucking another guy because she was a bored housewife. I fucking love how protective she is of what she has with Jamie.

Seriously though, fuck you Frank. You’re asking her to be something she's not and then blaming her for not doing it well enough. Yes, she should have left you, but you’re also an asshole.

And yeah, Frank didn’t like hogtie her and force her to come to Boston. But Jamie sent her to Frank so she went, all shattered and hollow, to Frank. And Frank was like oh cool, I can get my wife back like nothing ever happened and so yeah, clearly staying together is a great idea. You know, on my terms. Which you’ll agree to because you’re all like shattered and hollow. But Claire, you’re now far enough removed that you SHOULD JUST FUCKING LEAVE BECAUSE THIS IS CLEARLY NOT WORKING AND JAMIE WOULDN’T WANT YOU TO BE THIS FUCKING UNHAPPY. AND GUESS WHAT HE IS ALSO NOT HERE ANYMORE SO YOU TRIED BUT IT’S NOT WORKING AND UGH JUST GET A FUCKING DIVORCE ALREADY.

Gah, we have two more episodes before my best friend in the world, Ms. Ice E. Road, shows up and rids me of my Frank-rage once and for all.

Please for the love of fuck make it once and for all because omfg it’s not Frank’s story and it’s never been Frank’s story so can Frank please just die and stay dead. KThxBai.

*sacrifices a goat that Tobias gets a kickass leading role in something that keeps him unavailable for the foreseeable future*

Why is Frank’s face just giant on the screen. Like why is it still there. It’s still there guys. I’m not even typing that fast and it’s still there. Make it go away.

Ok I’m calling bullshit here. There is no way in fuck that house doesn’t have a second bedroom. Like if you aren’t sleeping in Claire’s bed, go to the fucking guest room. You get no pity from me for all the noise that comes with sleeping on the couch.

Ok like we knew they were keeping in Frank’s request to the reverend to research Jamie because Roger and Bree find it in ep. 213 and that’s how they know he’s alive. But in all my feelings about ep. 213, I forgot that it meant that I still get to hate Frank for doing it. But luckily there’s a scene in this episode where he starts writing the original letter! So fuck you, Frank, for being so shitty to Claire about not talking about her time in the past, but you’ll write to your buddy to research it!

Although I definitely don’t like that it’s the reverend’s research that let’s them know Jamie survived. Because that means Frank is kind of responsible for it. But at least they nixed the stupid placing a fake headstone bullshit. Still no brownie points for you, Frank.

I’m glad that Frank finds out about the miscarriage but doesn’t get details about Faith. Like oh hey, here’s another detail about how my life with Jamie was real and loving and yeah, we lost a child together and it was traumatic af so just get that through your head. But also it’s such a personal thing between her and Jamie that I really don’t want Frank to get all the details.

“I’m sorry I didn't tell you about the miscarriage.” “None of that matters now.” Frank you could have picked literally any other set of words. Any other words to get your point across besides “it doesn't matter.” Because I know you're talking about Claire not telling you and not the miscarriage itself, but she's talking about her first daughter. Who matters a great deal.

I HATE THIS DOCTOR WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE THEY ALLOWED TO DO THAT IS THAT EVEN LEGAL DO I NEED TO GO DOWN A RABBITHOLE AND FIND THIS OUT WHERE IS THE CALL THE MIDWIFE CREW WHEN YOU NEED THEM SORRY FOR JOKING WHEN WHAT THE DOCTOR DID TO CLAIRE IS 1000% UNACCEPTABLE.

Omfg I cannot even imagine waking up and not knowing where your baby is or if they’re alive or dead. I definitely can’t imagine going through that twice. Like omfg when you put it next to Faith, it’s just like *ugly cries*.

“I’ve been so horrible to you.” But have you, Claire? Because I’m pretty sure you’ve been doing the best you can. And Frank’s been making you feel like you’ve been horrible. Because he’s a shitty, shitty person. But seriously. You should have left him. But it’s kind of too late now because apparently you both seem to think Bree will somehow make everything better. Right. Definitely. That’s totally going to be what happens.

*only two more episodes of this, only two more episodes of this*

“Where’d she get the red hair?” Bless you, rando nurse. Blesss.

[yelenasfurcoat]

the new punisher was so bad... i.... i can’t believe this

ok i just need to Rant

really? frank upturns his entire new life for some teenage girl? i get it, he’s a Good Guy At Heart, but the entire season is about him killing all these people and putting all his (2) friends in danger for.... a random girl he noticed was being followed in a fucking bar? are you serious? she was the most generic boring teenage runaway character that existed solely as a plot device to screw up every chance frank gets just to END THIS SHIT and move on. this should have been concluded in like 3 episodes. an extremely small subplot to segue into frank getting back into the ~punisher lifestyle.

they introduce this new villain who seems interesting at first, a badass dude with a cool aesthetic, but his motivation is...... he used to be a nazi and now he’s not? so he’s killing people for.... a guy............ why???? because he helped him turn to god? what?? is this rich dude paying your wife’s medical bills? sure, he had the kids sort of hostage at the end, but that was AT THE END. what about the rest of the time? the people they killed before that? some guy hands you a bible and you’re so grateful to him that you bust out an ak on his behalf? AND ALL OF THIS OVER PHOTOS OF TWO DUDES KISSING..... oh my GOD that is the most asinine, lame, and needlessly convuluted thing on earth.

and billy... on god, they did his character so wrong. they built up all this backstory, all this motivation, complicated relationships with frank and madani, just for him to get shot, fuck around a while, and then frank to casually shoot him twice and walk off? for real? honestly, i really wanted madani to kill billy, and i don’t get why he couldn’t have just died after their big fight. what was the point of all of that other shit? would it not have been more compelling and satisfying to have him die by madani, in front of her, after all this? frank had his Moment with billy in s1, he even told madani as much, that he felt it was finished, so why couldn’t she have been the one?

and the amnesia could have been handled so much better.... first of all, has this fool never heard of google? he wonders why frank wants to kill him, why don’t you like,,,, fucking ASK??? google it??? he’s a smart guy, he knew frank was trying to kill him, he couldn’t ask around about frank, find out about his family, and maybe put it together? and you mean to tell me he just randomly finds all these lonely disillusioned vets who just casually agree to join a gang with billy russo who everyone knew about given his arrest, and then his escape, he’s on every tv, and they’re just like oh he’s a marine so fuck it, he’s cool... uh what?

and that fucking therapist romantic subplot.... seriously?!? we get it, lady, you like damaged dudes, get on with it already. how many scenes did we need of her talking billy down,,,, GOD it was so entirely pointless. sure, billy was significantly more vulnerable than he was prior to his amnesia, but that couldn’t have been handled in a different way? maybe with frank or curtis? y’all know damn well if he escaped and called curtis, curtis probably would have at the very least spoken to him over the phone and a) explained what happened, b) try to figure out where he is to send frank, and c) given the audience the opportunity to see billys new mental state as he tries to remember and navigate what happened. pointless romances are one of my biggest complaints in tv/movies but this one was especially stupid.

curtis and madani were the only redeemable factors in the entire season. madani at some points was just redundant, with all the back and forth with castle, then mahoney. we get it, frank is the antihero, no one wants to acknowledge that they want him to kill billy, jfc how many times do we have to go around this? just let him kill him and we can all!!!! move on!!!! just like with amy/pilgrim, holy shit, all of these things were sooooo drug out.... it was like watching the same scenes over and over and over.

and the meager 10 minute karen cameo. granted, she didn’t know he was in town, but he never........... called her? even spoke about her? after all his bullshit about how much he cared about her and blah blah and all their build up over the episodes. and she’s just like welp i’ll pull the fire alarm for you, good luck or whatever.... and that was it?!?! they didn’t even kiss i...

and no micro? AT ALL???????? and naturally no fucking daredevil, jessica....

but there were a few great scenes, like when frank thinks he killed those girls, pilgrim shows up in the ambulance, billy in madanis apartment, billy at that one creepy old mans house, frank and karen in the hospital, every scene with curtis tbh.

i’m just so!!!!!! disappointed.... i’ve been so excited for like 2 years, i knew i had my hopes too high, but it’s especially worse knowing it’ll probably get cancelled within the next few days

excuse me while i die

[cass-burger]

RTX Sydney: An Experience

Ok so now the verbal part right? (This has taken so long to write I’m so sorry jfc it’s not even relevant anymore BUT THERES IMPORTANT STUFF OK)

Before the first day even started we were introduced to Sydney in RTX time by running into both Lawrence of Funhaus and Ryan of AH in the first day of being in Sydney. • We happened to be in the same group as Lawrence that did the walk around the top of the Skytower in Sydney’s CBD. • Ryan later that day organised an impromptu meetup in Hyde Park so we ventured there and gawked at his realness before taking a photo with him. He is amazing.

The second day was the first day of RTX • Our day started with a massive queue out the front in the sweltering Sydney heat. We didn’t mind that much. We were too busy being excited. • They opened the doors and we eventually got into the show floor. More waiting. • The atmosphere was great in the crowd before they Opened™ RTX to the public. A weird square inflatable was tossed into the crowd and bounced around. • As soon as they opened the doors I immediately made my way to the exit and ran to queue up for my first panel: Always Open. • We get into the panel and I’m so close it’s amazing. • Barbara, off stage, announced her presence and introduced the show by shouting in her Aussie accent “What’s up yer fuckin cunts!” • I have never cheered more loudly in my life • Always Open was an amazing panel with so many great moments with even certain (embarrassing) shout outs from yours truly. • Once the panel was over we made our way back through the halls to the show floor. On my way through the hall I slowed to see if my friend’s panel had finished yet - and saw Lindsay Jones walking towards me. • I was like “Oh hey Lindsay!” and she was like “Hey man!” I joked that I would walk with her as part of her group back to the hall and was like “Yeah man! You’re part of the gang now!” • I only died a little bit inside. • Barbara was right behind her and before I knew it she was walking alongside me. I awkwardly and nervous was like “Hey Barb” and she was like “Hi!” The following conversation went something along the lines of: Me: “I’m just gonna pretend that I’m not nervous as fuck that I’m having a conversation with Barbara Dunkelman” Her: “Nah man you’re doing great!” Me: “Oh ok cool. Well I’m totally not ok right now. And the rest of the conversation was a blur to me but I was so so so happy guys it was wild. • Me and my friend idled around the show floor for a while and then went to Ryan and Jeremy’s Streaming 101. •On the way to the panel I passed Gus and Geoff. I was too in shock to comprehend. His is fucking giant and Geoff is surprisingly tall. •My friend who was right behind me was too busy weaving through the crowd and weaved right past them, not realising who she had just brushed past as she kept her eyes to the ground. She was understandably pissed. • I didn’t let it go the whole weekend. • The panel was amazing and hilarious. Rimmulous Timmulous quickly gained a lot of followers. Good to know he’s a local. • I witnessed a live Ryan flub. I am blessed. • We rushed from the panel once it was over back to the show floor to line up for the autograph session with Jack, Michael and Lindsay. • Lindsay remembered me from earlier. Again, I only died just a little. • We gave Lindsay and Michael a baby present so look out for that. • Jack was unsure whether he was in Volume 3 of RWBY when I offered for him to sign my Tugg Screening poster from last year. • Lindsay quickly corrected him. • There was so much to take in and honestly I don’t think I talked with Michael that much which I regret because he is my fav. • After the signing we wandered around the show floor again and waited for the next panel: Off Topic. • There was a slight problem. Off Topic began at the same time I had a signing with Barb and Elyse. • My friend went to line up for Off Topic while I lined up for the autograph session. The plan was she was going to save me a spot. • I made some great friends while waiting for the session to start. The banter was great. • Barb and Elyse finally came out and luckily I was second in the queue. I insisted that Elyse signed the RWBY poster which she wouldn’t. I also said she should totally be in future volumes. • I talked with Barb, again, and I was a nervous and awkward wreck, again. • We got a photo with my Yang plushy and it was great but I’m pretty sure I annoyed Barb with my nervousness. • Then again I’m totally looking into that way too far so on the upside: Barb told me that there was no reason to be nervous and I was doing fine and to chill. • As soon as the autographs were done I rushed to Off Topic - only to be stopped by my friend right outside autographs to be informed that it had capped and there was no more space, AND that she had missed out on the cutoff by literally 3 people. • We were both equally bummed. • I tweeted the pic of me Barb and Elyse, and Elyse liked it!!! I was so happy. • We moped around the show floor for a bit and made a plan to go extra early for the line to the RWBY finale screening to secure our place there. • However the RTX queues twitter, with an hour before the screening, said that there was no line for the RWBY screening yet. So we leisurely made our way to start a line - only to find a massive crowded line going down the length of the hall. For RWBY. We barely got in to the unplanned matinee screening. So thank you for that twitter page. • After RWBY we rushed to Theatre Mode Live and due to us being late got a place right up the back. It didn’t stop our enjoyment. • Theatre Mode Live was the best experience of the day by far. And we were there for RTX history: Jeremy going to the bathroom live! • After that we left and wandered around the harbour for a bit. Somewhere in there I lost my wallet. My source of money and ID and transportation. So that was great. • In our retracing our steps and searching for my wallet, we accidentally stumbled upon the Kinda Funny meet-up with Tim Gettys and Greg Miller. We quickly got away from that for fear of intrusion. • We went home bummed, me riding off my friends charity which I hated. It was a real shitty end to an amazing day.

Our third day in Sydney: Day 2 of RTX • I didn’t sleep the Saturday night. We got home around midnight and I had been chosen to be an extra in an RT shoot the Sunday morning. That required me getting up at 5 in the morning, so I just didn’t bother sleeping at all. • The shoot was fun but exhausting. It was just running back and forth in the morning heat in torn clothing. I got a really nice view of the harbour and skyline at dawn though. • As the morning got later I realised the shoot would be going later than planned - and that if I stayed I would be late to the first panel • I still can’t believe but yes I snuck away from an RT production, one that I was in. • I then ran to the ferry that would take me across the harbour to the convention. I was still poor so public transport was the only way. • On the other side I had the option of waiting another ten minutes for the slow-as-fuck ferry to make it from one side of the very small bay to the other side, where the convention centre was, or to jump off on the other sides dock and run the length of the bay to the convention centre. • I ran the length of that bay. • Miraculously, somehow, I got into the RWBY panel on time. • The RWBY panel was alright, if not a bit disappointing, but that was expected. • I was unable to get my question asked, (so sorry to the people on here that would have liked to hear the answer, I’m equally as bummed) but the panel apparently preferred to hear shout outs and get hugs from fans. • After the RWBY panel me and my friend met up in the expo hall and hung around there for a bit, but ultimately decided that lining up for the AH panel early was the best plan so that we wouldn’t repeat the Off Topic incident the previous day. • We queued up an hour in advance and it was the best queue I’ve been in. Everyone for the full hour were just shouting Achievement Hunter references at the top of their lungs. • The Achievement Hunter panel was great but I was still bummed we missed out on Off Topic. • After that panel we went back into the expo hall /again/ and decided to hang around there until the end of the day when Gav and Michael played the Nintendo Switch. • We wandered around and looked stalls which were all very cool, but eventually we resigned to sitting down and chilling for a while. It had been an exhausting few days. • We chose to sit down next to the exit and it happened to be the best accident we ever made. • We happened to be situated right next to where all the RT people would come down from their chilling space upstairs to go to their panels and signings. • We saw many people walk past which was pretty cool, one of them being Geoff again (who waved at me mind you, yeah I’m totally fine) and I made sure my friend didn’t miss him this time. • We eventually made our way over the centre stage to watch Gav and Michael play the Switch and it was great and funny to watch, however I could feel my exhaustion getting to me by then. • By that point I had now been awake about 34 hours. • After the Switch the convention was officially over. We wandered around the hall a bit more but it felt so surreal that it had actually finished. It felt so quick. • We were leaving the centre but my friend wanted to stay on the odd chance that RT would be out in the foyer. I insisted that it was over and that we should just go. • Just as I said that Barbara walked down the steps for signings and photos. That's probably the best time I've been proven wrong. • I got a photo (and another fucking signing) and then apologised for seeing and talking to her so much jfc. She must have been sick of me by the end of the weekend smh • After we got the photos and finally felt concluded as complete at the end of the convention we headed into the city and hung for a bit, waiting for the meet-up with Jack and Caiti • We found the group waiting for the meet-up outside a very small pub. If this was where they were gonna hold the meet-up I was pretty sure it would be very crowded. • The crowd didn't actually end up being too big and there was a nice small but lively atmosphere. We made a lot of friends. • Jack and Caiti showed up and started making their way around to each table and having a decent conversation with each person. • On one hand it was quite surreal but on the other hand it was so nice and goes to prove my point that Jack and Caiti and the purest cinnamon buns on the planet. • Somehow I ended in a conversation with Caiti and about 6 other fans that devolved into very deep philosophy and talking about the way the human mind is programmed to work and at this point I had been awake about 38 so I was having my mind blown repeatedly. • I would think that's what being high would be like. • Somehow I kept up with the conversation and inputted with points but I can't remember what we talked about now. I was too tired. • Somewhere in there I asked about whether Velvet would be back in RWBY anytime soon and she said she didn't know, but that she would push for Velvet to be put back in ASAP on my behalf. That may have been the alcohol talking lol. • Towards the end of the night I got to talk with Jack and he is a funny and great dude to talk to let me tell you. • The meet-up lasted until about midnight. • Jack and Caiti personally said goodbye to each person that had showed up. I even ended getting a hug from Jack. • We made our way home and ended up in bed by about 1 in the morning. I finally got sleep after 42 hours awake. • Our RTX Sydney weekend experience was finally over.

So yeah that's my very important points about the best weekend of my life. And if you're still reading, first of all why, second of all WHY. Love yourself. This just droned on jfc. Thanks for wasting your time reading 😄

[theflirtmeister]

Dead Boy Walking: EPILOGUE

I can’t believe this is the end of this fic?!?! Jfc I started this in February last year, why did I let this take over my life

~Ao3 Link~

They burn Maurizio's body by the sea. Kimi smuggles the remains of him out of the house in his shirt, and nobody pays much attention to him. There's something about him now, people can't stare at him for too long. It makes them uncomfortable, it makes them scared.

The case is all closed now. Horner and his team found the rest of the children dead, decapitated just like Phoebe. The only survivor was Maeve, standing outside the house with Robin in her arms, refusing to speak about anything that had happened previously.

Sebastian hadn't wanted to keep her alive.

“She's seen too much.” He'd said, holding her head between his hands as the noise of the sirens drew closer. “Let me do it. I did the others.”

Kimi and Sebastian had found the rest of the children in the living room, biting each other with their new sharp teeth. The killing had been merciful, and they'd lined the bodies up neatly, trying to think how a man like Maurizio would have displayed them. Kimi had stared down at the four little bodies, and was reminded of how a cat leaves out it's prey for you to find.

“No.” Kimi had replied, looking down at Maeve's frightened face. “You won't tell, will you?”

Maeve had frantically shook her head in response, and Sebastian had reluctantly let her go.

“If you tell.” He'd warned, and Maeve had gripped Robin so tight he'd started crying, “We'll kill you.”

“Sebastian-”

“I mean it.” Sebastian threatened, and Kimi had dragged him away.

Kimi finds out later, that the children had a joint funeral. Horner went to it, standing in for Kimi. Nobody knows exactly where Kimi is, or Sebastian for that matter. They've practically gone up in smoke, with no trace of them to be found. Kimi and Sebastian like it that way.

Kimi hasn't spoken to his parents. He hopes they think he's dead, Horner certainly does. He imagines scenarios of Horner coming to his family home, sitting on the sofa and telling James and Niki that their son is dead. He imagines Oscar whining at Horner's feet, of James and Niki finding comfort and solace in each other. They have other sons to replace him with.

Sebastian and Kimi haven't spoken to Daniel and Max either. They know that Maurizio's dead of course, it was all over the newspapers. Horner is taking full credit for Maurizio's death, saying that his team shot the man dead, and got rid of the body in an undisclosed location. In reality, Maurizio is on the back seat of Sebastian's car.

Kimi wishes that they could talk to the other vampires, Max in particular. He almost wishes he could adopt him somehow, invite him into their family, but Sebastian refuses. He wants to escape from everything in his old life, and Daniel and Max are part of that.

They still haven't entirely spoken about what happened, but they can't pretend it didn't. On the drive down to the sea, Maurizio's body leaking black pus onto the car floor, they have to pull over on the side of the road for Kimi to slaughter a sheep. He eats it messily, blood covering his face, and Sebastian sits on the floor beside him and pulls grass up from the earth.

Kimi lays down after he's done, wiping his face on his sleeve. “I have wool in my teeth.”

“You poor thing.” Sebastian replies, and throws grass in his face. “Maurizio's starting to smell.”

“The sea isn't that far away.”

“I know.” Sebastian leans forward and licks blood from Kimi's face. “Are you going to eat seagulls when we're there?”

“Obviously.” Kimi grins, “I'll make you a crown of feathers.”

“I'd love that.” Sebastian says, and hauls Kimi to his feet.

They're jittery around each other. Kimi can't forget that Sebastian stole Robin to use as bait, and Sebastian knows that. Kimi misses Robin with his entire heart, but he knows he can't be part of Robin's life any more. Robin is Minttu and Hanna's, and Kimi cannot push himself into that.

“Do you hate me?” Sebastian asks one night.

“Only a little bit.” Kimi replies sleepily, and it's a good enough answer for Sebastian.

They take it in turns to drive down to the sea. Kimi sits bolt upright in his seat whilst Sebastian drives, staring out of the window at the world flashing by. Whenever they drive through a town, he grins at the pedestrians walking by, and makes children cry more than once.

When Kimi drives, Sebastian curls up in his seat like a child. He gazes out of the dashboard window, looking towards their future, and occasionally glancing over at Kimi. Whenever he does that, they smile at each other, and Kimi will stop the car long enough to kiss Sebastian.

He's in love. He's so painfully in love with Sebastian that it hurts in his belly. He can't wait for them to stop, to finally stop and be together, to lie next to each other in the dark, safe. Most of all, he wants to fuck Sebastian completely naked, to see the scars on Sebastian's chest in full view.

As they get closer to the sea, Sebastian wriggles in his seat like a mouse. He's starting to smile, finally, and Kimi reaches over and squeezes his hand.

“Penny for the first person to see the sea.” Sebastian says, and Kimi grins.

“You want to make a bet?”

“Yes.” Sebastian reaches into his pocket and pulls out 1 pence, placing it on the dashboard. “There's mine. Now you need to put in yours.”

“Fine.” Kimi nods towards the back seat. “My wallets over there.”

“Underneath Maurizio's body?” Sebastian asks, and Kimi smirks at him.

Sebastian rolls his eyes at that, squirming around to rescue Kimi's wallet from the back seat. It's slightly stained with blood, whose Kimi doesn't know. He unzips the money compartment, and pulls out a penny, and places it next to his own.

“There we go.”

“Who will see the sea first?” Kimi asks in a low voice, “Who will win 2 pence?”

“The game is on.” Sebastian says, and then laughs.

Kimi wants to kiss his face right off.

Sebastian of course spots the sea first. He gives a shriek so loud that Kimi slams his foot on the breaks, expecting Maurizio to have materialised in the middle of the road. He can already feel his body freaking out, going into hunting mode.

“I can see it!” Sebastian says, slapping Kimi on the arm. “I get the money!”

“Christ, you almost gave me a heart attack!” Kimi says, but he's not angry. “Well done.”

“I win.” Sebastian says smugly, and Kimi laughs.

“You little brat.” He says, and continues driving towards the beach.

“You love it.” Sebastian replies, and Kimi rolls his eyes.

“Of course I do.”

They wait till it's dark to go outside. All the children and their parents have gone from the beach, as well as the tourists. Kimi wraps Maurizio's body up in his old shirt, and carries it out of the car, it dripping all the while. He has to make two trips, one for the body, and another for the cans of petrol they have stashed in the boot. Sebastian is already on the beach, running in and out of the sea.

“We're meant to be doing something here.” Kimi calls after him, but Sebastian only laughs and splashes water towards him.

“Lighten up!” He calls back, and Kimi shakes his head, smiling.

He places Maurizio down on the sand, and then begins gathering drift wood, so they can set alight to it. Sebastian joins him after a while, almost completely soaked through. He's out of breath, and grinning, and Kimi can see that he's happy for the first time in months.

They work in silence. The drift wood they collect becomes a huge pile, almost like a bonfire, and Kimi is reminded of Guy Fawkes night with his parents. He kind of wishes they had sparklers, so he and Sebastian could write their names in the air.

“I think it's time.” Sebastian says after a while, brushing splinters from his jeans. “To burn him.”

“Okay.” Kimi says, and picks up the first can of petrol. He unscrews it quickly, and then begins pouring it over the driftwood. Sebastian follows his lead, splashing petrol all over the place, but thankfully not over his clothes.

“We'll have to be quick, in case we alert attention.” Kimi reminds Sebastian, but Sebastian doesn't reply. “Sebastian?”

“I know.” Sebastian says, and drags Maurizio's body over to the bonfire.

They had to tie Maurizio's head to his chest to get him one neat little bundle, and Kimi has no idea where Maurizio's legs went. The once revered vampire is now a torso and a severed head, and it makes Kimi happy.

“How are we going to do this?” Kimi asks, and Sebastian looks down at Maurizio, and then at the bonfire.

“I'm going to throw him onto the top.” Sebastian says, and Kimi looks at Sebastian.

“You sure?”

“Yep.” Sebastian says, and kneels down in the sand to pick up Maurizio's body. He cradles him like a child's body, like Maurizio must have once held Sebastian himself, and then hauls the body on top of the petrol covered drift wood.

“Are you ready?” Kimi asks, and Sebastian nods. Kimi hands him his lighter and Sebastian tosses it back and forth from one hand to the other before he finally lights it. “You don't have to do it if you don't want to-”

“I want to.” Sebastian says, and takes a step forward, throwing the lighter onto the bonfire.

It erupts at once. Kimi has to drag Sebastian backwards to stop him from getting burnt, but he doesn't think Sebastian would care if he did. Sebastian stares at the fire with awe in his eyes, and Kimi wonders how long he's been wishing of this moment. Maurizio's body fizzles as it burns, and a slow smile crosses Sebastian's face. It spreads to Kimi's too, as he watches Maurizio go up in smoke.

It's not going to be the end of Kimi and Sebastian's nightmare. They're still dead boys walking, they're still monsters. But there's one less killer in the world, and there won't be any more children like Sebastian, not if they can help it.

“He's dead.” Sebastian whispers, and Kimi slides his hand into Sebastian's own.

“I know.” He replies, and squeezes Sebastian's hand.

Sebastian sighs happily, and leans against Kimi. Kimi kisses the top of his head, breathing in the smell of Sebastian, and closes his eyes.

He wonders which of them will kill the other first.