#don’t hate it so I guess if it gives Bo-Katan all the screen time and stuff I’ll take it

[engagemythrusters]

So people like Din/Boba, but people also like Din/Luke, but people also like Luke/Ezra… so via that triangle, there’s got to be a Boba/Ezra overlap and I just have to say I absolutely cannot get behind that one, sorry

[tennessoui]

For The propmts, "I can't trust you"

hi hello!!!

this is set in my "there was only one desk" au, where obi-wan and anakin, well. share a desk in the office and hate each other.

"""""hate each other"""""

(1.5k) (angst here and now but actually the stupidest thing ever)

The person sitting at Obi-Wan’s desk is not, in fact, Obi-Wan Kenobi. For one thing, it’s a woman with a severe red bobcut and better fashion sense than Kenobi’s ever had. For another thing, Anakin can’t actually remember a time when he’s made the trek up to the twelfth floor just to annoy Kenobi only for the man to not give him attention. So this woman, who doesn’t even raise her eyes to look at him when he’s standing next to her desk, can’t be Kenobi.

“Uh,” Anakin says. He’s holding a singular cupcake on a plate in both hands, red velvet because Obi-Wan hates red velvet and with a candle in the icing because Obi-Wan is extremely paranoid about the sensitivity of the sprinkler system. “Who are you?”

The woman’s fingers pause on the keyboard and she looks up at him sharply. With a raised eyebrow, she tilts her head to the nameplate on Obi-Wan’s desk.

Bo-Katan Kryze it reads.

Anakin blinks. “Do you—share this desk with Obi-Wan?”

“I don’t know who that is. I sit here every day,” Kryze says. “Is there something I can help you with?” She makes it clear that she believes there is absolutely nothing she wants to help him with.

“Um.” Anakin stares at her uninterested face, the nameplate, the desk itself.

He realizes rather suddenly that the plants are gone. All of Obi-Wan’s plants are gone, and in their places are picture frames filled with pictures of strangers, a standing calendar, and a souvenir mug.

“No,” he says slowly. “Sorry.”

“No worries,” the woman says, turning back to her computer. “Have a nice day.”

Anakin turns around and goes back to the elevators around the corner. He feels a bit stupid, holding a plate wth a cupcake on it, so he tosses it into a small trashcan next to a desk as he passes by, plate and all.

He still feels a bit stupid, and the feeling lingers all the way from the twelfth floor to the tenth, where his desk is. If Obi-Wan was playing a prank on him, he just fell for it like an idiot. 

But if he hadn’t—

“Obi-Wan wasn’t at his desk,” Anakin says to Vos as he sits down in front of his own computer. “There was this woman there instead, and she’d moved all of his stuff. Even the nametag.”

Vos doesn’t look up from his screen. He’s been sort of distant since Anakin came back, like he forgot how to talk or some shit during the month and a half he was away.

His silence would make sense if Obi-Wan asked him to help with the prank. And Vos probably would hop on the opportunity to fuck with Anakin. He tries to say he doesn’t play favorites of course, but he very clearly does. 

And his favorite very clearly is Kenobi, not Anakin. 

Anakin remembers the chair incident, after all.

So if Obi-Wan told him about trying to pull a fast one on Anakin his first day back at the office, hire a woman to sit at his desk and change all of its decorations just to confuse him, Vos would probably help out by pretending everything is normal.

Anakin narrows his eyes and looks at his desk. Nothing’s been moved or changed since he last saw it. No new cameras to video his reaction.

“Where’s Obi-Wan?” he asks, looking over at Vos. “I mean, it’s a lot of work, isn’t it? Points for creativity, I guess though.”

Vos’ fingers still on his keys and he finally looks up, going as far as to take his hands off the keyboard completely. “What?”

“Like where did he put his plants? And the zen garden with all the sand, you know? He moved that zen garden somewhere else just to fuck with me for a bit? And the name too, her name— Bo-Katan? Kryze? He could have tried a little harder to make up something believable.”

Vos looks at him, eyebrows furrowing. “Sorry,” he says slowly. “But–sorry, but what do you think is happening here, exactly?”

Anakin frowns. Usually Vos would be laughing by now. “Joke’s on him though, I brought him a cupcake to celebrate my first day back, and me and Bo-Katan split it instead. No cupcake for Obi-Wan. It’s what he deserves for such a lame prank.”

“Skywalker,” Vos’ voice sounds even slower. “Skywalker, there is no prank.”

There’s a very weird feeling in his gut. He forces a laugh. “Uh, right, of course not,” he says. “But seriously, where is Obi-Wan? I’ve been taking pictures I want to show him for months. He’s going to love them.”

He better love them, at least, if he knows what’s good for him. But Luke and Leia are adorable, especially now that they’ve stopped teething on everything in range. Even someone as heartless and deplorable as Kenobi will be swayed by their big eyes and general all-encompassing cuteness.

The look Vos gives him is uncharacteristically cold. “Two things, Skywalker. First, there’s no prank. Obi-Wan quit. Sounds like you brought cupcakes to his replacement, like some. One man office welcome brigade. Second, if you really think Obi-Wan Kenobi wants to see your fucking baby pictures, you’re more stupid than I thought.”

Anakin blinks and then stares as the feeling in his stomach spreads to his chest. “What? No. No way.” He blinks again, eyebrows furrowing. “Is this the prank?”

Vos pushes his chair away from his keyboard, rolling it to the edge of his desk. “Skywalker. Anakin. There is no prank. I’m telling you the truth. Obi-Wan has separated from the company. He is not here today, and he won’t be here tomorrow. He left.”

“But—” Anakin’s mouth is open, but no words are coming out. “But. He didn’t tell me.” 

There’s a knot in his stomach, one that may be bigger than his stomach altogether. No, it has to be some sort of—of prank. Of practical joke at his expense. When Obi-Wan pops out in an hour or so, Anakin is going to hit him so hard in, like. The shoulder. For the crime of being really, really not funny.

“Why would he tell you, Skywalker?” Vos asks, carefully putting his hands on his knees as he looks at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “You don’t like each other.”

“I—I mean. We do!” Anakin splutters. “We spent quarantine together! And last summer when we did the office expedition and got lost, we camped together! For two whole days!”

“Those aren’t bonding activities,” Quinlan says. “You know that, right? No one else would consider those things as foundations for a friendship or even workplace relationship.”

Like he always seems to do when Kenobi and “workplace relatitonships” are brought up in the same sentence, Anakin flushes. He can feel the tips of his go red.

“Look, I get that you’re—friends or whatever,” he mutters, pitching his voice down low so that no one else can eavesdrop. Not that anyone else is really paying attention, but just in case. “But we’ve—you know, you saw us. During the. The quarantine. We. Spent the night together.”

“Yeah, you fucked,” Vos rolls his eyes. “You fucked.” “So if he were going to leave the company, he’d tell me, alright?” Anakin puts his hand down flat on the desk. “Yeah? He’d tell me.”

“Only if sleeping with you meant something to him,” Vos points out, pushing his chair back fully behind his desk. “So I guess it didn’t.”

The words—sting.

A lot.

The words fucking hurt like Vos has just thrown a fucking cactus into his dick. Because—alright, they’d never talked about it afterwards or anything, but—kissing Kenobi, his annoying and annoyingly attractive deskmate, sleeping with him, touching him and being touched in return…it’d changed things for Anakin. Things he didn’t want to name then, and things he definitely doesn’t want to name now, if—if Obi-Wan really…really just.

Left.

Anakin shakes his head, wordless. “It meant something,” he says, practicing the words, even if it’s only Vos around to hear him.

“Yeah?” and Vos’ voice is cold. “Then why’d you just take almost two months of paternity leave, huh? If sleeping with my friend meant something.”

Anakin shakes his head again, staring fixedly at his keyboard. “Did he really—Vos, you’re not lying, are you? Did he actually quit?”

Vos is silent for several long moments. “Yeah,” he says, sounding strange. “Yeah, he did. This is—you’re upset about this, aren’t you?”

It could still be a joke though, because sometimes Vos goes too far and sometimes he doesn’t know when to quit, even though Anakin thinks he’s pretty obviously begging him to stop right about now.

He stands. “I—I don’t believe you. I can’t— I can’t trust you.”

Vos watches him swing his jacket on with raised eyebrows. “I suppose you don’t need his address then,” he says, expression guarded. “If you’re going to fact-check this yourself.”

Of course Anakin is going to fact-check this for his fucking self.

And either way, Obi-Wan Kenobi is going to have a lot of explaining to do.

[firstofficerwiggles]

Star Wars Tournament, Round 1, Part 2

300 followers celebration!

It’s time again to vote for your favorites in the second part of Round 1. This time we have the first games for the Space Wizards Hangout and the Evil Lair. If you thought part 1 of this round was hard, you should see these games. 

To vote go here

If you didn’t get a chance to vote for Round 1, Part 1, the voting is still open here

I’ll keep voting open for both parts of Round 1 until Wednesday, June 23 at midnight!

For a breakdown of the games for this post check out more under the cut!

Space Wizards Hangout, Round 1 Games

Game 1: Green Boy Grapple - Which adorable green Jedi holds your heart?

Grogu Djarin versus Kit Fisto - Let’s be honest, Kit has his work cut out for him if he’s going to have any type of showing against the galaxy’s cutest Jedi ever. Kit is at least the one with experience who fought well in the Clone Wars and showed true Jedi spirit. But Grogu is the Baby Yoda who captured the hearts and minds of the entire internet after like 2 seconds of screen time. So yeah, good luck with that Kit.

Game 2: Master versus Padawan - Whose skills with the Force impress you the most?

Luke Skywalker versus Yoda - Ok, yes, I know Yoda never actually calls Luke padawan at any point but that’s what he was to Yoda. This is one of the first of the very hard match-ups in this part of Round 1. Both are amazing Jedi and amazing characters that we love. My thoughts are that Luke takes this one, but Yoda will put up quite a challenge.

Game 3: Too Pure Throwdown 2 Electric Boogaloo - Which of these two angels is the one you can’t live without?

Obi-Wan Kenobi versus Rey Skywalker - Ugh, I love them both so much and they are two of the sweetest and kindest people in all of Star Wars in my opinion. I think Obi-Wan may have the advantage here simply because we know so much about him by now. But then there’s Rey our first female Jedi to get the lead role and that alone makes her special. But of course she’s so much more than that, a great mechanic, pilot, friend, and a true survivor. 

Game 4: War of the Women - Which of these two warriors can show up the men any time?

Leia Organa versus Ahsoka Tano - I know, you hate me for making you choose. Leia is our original badass, our Space Princess who showed everyone that she was a strong, powerful woman, even when wearing a dress or gold bikini. Ahsoka is an incredible force sensitive woman who survived the Clone Wars, getting screwed over by the Jedi Council, and all of Anakin’s shenanigans. I think Leia takes this fight in the end, but Ahsoka will make her earn it.

The Evil Lair, Round 1 Games

Game 1: No Chance in Mandalore - I mean good luck Bo-Katan, I guess

Darth Vader versus Bo-Katan Kryze - Lol, no way that Vader doesn’t crush Bo-Katan in this one. We all know it. She should be happy she even make it to the tournament.

Game 2: Monologue Mayhem - Which of these two bad boys is the best at telling you his evil plan?

Kylo Ren versus Moff Gideon - They both love to hear themselves talk, don’t they? Kylo is Darth Vader’s grandson so we know his dark side and light side are constantly at war within him, but ultimately like Vader, he’s more on the villain side for me. Moff Gideon is great at threatening people and is a true asshole for owning baby binders and brandishing the Dark Saber over Grogu’s head. I think Kylo wins this one because Gideon is the true evil one here.

Game 3: Yuck Fest - Who is the yuckiest of them all?

Emperor Palpatine versus General Grievous - So both of these guys give me the chills when they’re on screen and for me, are two of the grossest of the Star Wars villains. (No judgment though for those of you that love them, to each their own.) But still, Palpatine is the creep to end all creeps so I’m pretty sure he has this one in the bag.

Game 4: Apprentice versus Apprentice - Who wins this battle between Palpatine’s old students?

Count Dooku versus Darth Maul - This would have been epic to see on screen and I think it’s going to be a good fight here too. I think they’re both a great example of the dark side of the Force so let’s see who you all choose.

Here are the links for voting again so you don’t have to scroll back up:

Round 1, Part 2

Round 1, Part 1 (in case you missed it from this weekend)

[chipthekeeper]

chip grades the star wars

by representation of women

Time for more unasked for and only mildly thought through opinions by me. Usually I rate with numbers but for whatever reason this one was easier to do by letter grades (American-style, sorry). I’ve been known to forget important shit so I reserve the right to totally change my mind once I remember or am reminded. Okay, worst to best with the women I can name/remember and not-so-brief explanations:

Resistance:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wish I’d kept watching this both times I’ve started. Seems like there’s some good women in it. But unfortunately still a male lead. Bleh.

Revenge of the Sith: D-

Crying Padme…………….Beru cameo….dead Jedi… -- This one is ROUGH. If I didn’t love the movie it would be an F. There’s literally one woman who appears for more than like 10 seconds and she gets murdered by her husband. Not a great look.

Attack of the Clones: D

Padme, dying Shmi, uhhh...Jocosta Nu…? -- Maybe could have been C level if they hadn’t made poor Padme look so insane in falling for Anakin AFTER he rants about slaughtering a bunch of innocent people for no reason.

Empire Strikes Back: C-

Leia…..randos in background -- If it was made today, Lando’d be a chick. Lando’d be Sana Starros. I wanna see that movie. Holy shit I wanna see that movie.

The Phantom Menace: C

Shmi, Padme, not-Padme, Yaddle? -- Really running the gamut in this one. We’ve got “everything” from Slave Virgin Mary to badass queen but also is-that-even-the-queen-or-is-it-just-her-decoy. If it was made today there’d be at least 2 lady pod racers so ahem, Lucasfilm get on it.

A New Hope: C

Leia, Aunt Beru -- I was very tempted to rate all the OT ones higher just because of how fucking wonderful Leia is and to be fair she is of course the best female character of the time in this type of movie. But…..come the fuck on. TWO women in a whole movie and one of them wasn’t allowed to wear underwear and the other gets literally roasted to a crisp??? Do better, George.

Return of the Jedi: C

Leia, Mon Mothma…..Jabba’s dancing girls? -- Same shit, different flick.

The Rise of Skywalker: B-

Rey, Leia, Jannah, Maz a little, Rose I guess, Jodie Comer, etc. -- Kinda don’t know what to say about all this. I had B+ at first but I feel like there was a lot of wasted potential. Outside of Rey (and Leia stuff I can’t talk about without losing it) there’s not much to look at here.

Rogue One: B-

Jyn, Lyra, Mon Mothma, Leia cameo, lady pilots!! -- Gonna get up on my soapbox and say that Mon Mothma is one of the most underrated Star Wars characters. I’d talk about Jyn and Lyra but then I might start cr--nope, I’m already crying.

Solo: B

Qi’ra, Val, L3-37 (absolutely counts), Enfys -- I absolutely LOVE every woman in this movie. Would be an A if half the big ones didn’t die :/

The Clone Wars: B

Ahsoka, Padme, Satine, Bo-Katan, various Jedi -- Had this at a C+ before I remembered there were more centrally recurring people than Ahsoka and Padme, BUT. One dies, one’s a part-time terrorist, and the others are just plug and play. Kinda still want to go B- but Ahsoka’s really carrying this shit across the finish line.

Rebels: B+

Hera, Sabine, Governor Pryce, Ketsu, Leia cameo -- I would die and kill for both Hera and Sabine. If and when they come to live action I will cease to exist.

The Force Awakens: A-

Rey, Leia, Maz, Phasma, various rebels -- It’s never not going to give me a chill to watch Rey pilot the Falcon or call the lightsaber to her past [redacted]. Never. I feel bad for every fanboy who hated it. They’re really missing out.

The Last Jedi: A

Rey, Leia, Maz, Phasma, Rose, Holdo, various rebels -- Physically pains me to give this such a strong grade when one of the things I loathe about this movie is the Rey + [redacted] stuff but I’m big enough to say it does a great job with basically everyone else. Except Phasma. Fuck you for that one, Rian. (also someone ask me about Holdo, I need to talk about her more than this)

The Mandalorian: A

Cara, Omera, Pelli, Fennec, Xi’an, Frog Lady, Bo-Katan, Koska, Ahsoka -- I mean holy shit. So many (hot) women. So many different kinds of women! This is the bar. Oh, if only one of them could be a real full-time character and not written off the show because she’s played by a trash person :((((((  (also, like,,,fucking name Frog Lady pls. Misty Rosas deserves that)

Bonus grade for canon SW books/comics: A+ --  Doctor Aphra, Sana Starros, Rae Sloane, Norra Wexley, Alphabet Squadron gals, Avar Kriss & other High Republic ladies, so many more -- On the whole, this is actually the standard. So many of these things have female leads and there’s absolutely no reason not to do that more on the big screen. I have no idea what some of my favorite Star Wars women are supposed to look like because they’re just stuck in books. Which is a great medium, don’t get me wrong. But they deserve more!!

[bedlamsbard]

I know rebels goes sideways but like is it at all worth it to watch season 4 or will I just hate myself

The first half of S4 (4.01-4.09) is mostly fine, if occasionally shaky -- it's a little hard for me to look back on objectively because when it initially aired, it aired in double-headers except for 4.09 (Rebel Assault was the only episode that aired alone), which meant the pacing was really messed up. Obviously that won't be an issue watching it now, but does affect how I look back at it!

4.01 and 4.02 are very solid Mandalore episodes, so are good to watch if you're a Sabine, Bo-Katan, or Mandalore fan (and give a little bit of background to The Mandalorian and we'll leave off my issues for how they intersect for now). 4.03 and 4.04 have some delightful team action and also Saw Gerrera, and what I think is actually the most romantic Kanan/Hera moment in the season. 4.05 is the return to Lothal and has everyone in undercover disguise, which is always fun. 4.06, Flight of the Defender, is what I always call the single perfect episode that S4 somehow produced, and honestly you probably could watch 4.06 without watching anything else in the season but it's also not uuuuhhhhh representative of the season. (It does introduce the true love of my fannish life, Loth-wolves, and I am cursed with the fact that Loth-wolves were introduced in a season I mostly can't rewatch.) 4.07 is...fine. It's not an episode I rewatch mostly because I know what comes next, but does have some beautiful imagery. 4.08 is also, like, just, fine, my issue with 4.08 is that it's a little heavy-handed and doesn't make our heroes look particularly competent. 4.09 is Rebel Assault and it's...not one I can be objective about. Like, it's fine, I guess, I don't rewatch it. (Also the front half of the season was the one where I was like "...am I supposed to dislike the Rebel Alliance? are you doing this on purpose? are you then not going to interrogate that at all?")

The back half of S4 I don't rewatch at all and I'm not capable of being objective about it. I don't think it's bad, necessarily (I do think the finale is bad but it obviously worked for a lot of people), it's just that it messed me up so badly at the time that I can't look back at it. There's good stuff in it (the World Between Worlds is the exact kind of nonsense I would normally be extremely into), but it's not something I can look back at. (When I say "can't" in this sense, it's because my past attempts to rewatch have dropped me into a several-days depressive spiral and that's not exactly the sort of thing I want to poke at to see if it still happens. I check details for fic with the sound off and one eye closed and not looking directly at the screen.)

But a lot of people really enjoy S4 and find that it worked very well for them. I have unusually strong feelings about it, which are connected to a lot of different things (including what was going on in my life in 2017-2018, when the season originally aired). I don't really understand why people like the season or the finale or the way that certain elements like Kanan's death or Ahsoka's return played out, but a lot of people do, and I suspect that people's either enjoyment of or dislike for the season depends heavily on who your favorite characters are and where you place your story/emotional/thematic weight for Rebels (on its own and/or compared to the rest of Star Wars), as well as all the individual elements that go into whether someone likes an episode/season/show.

but like S4 does have Loth-wolves, my true Star Wars love, so there's that.