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warmaidensrevenge · 2 years

Text

You came. You called

Joseph Quinn x plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

Ok this is gonna get intense.

Warnings: 18+ angst, fluff, heartache, and sexual situations.

Not proof read and no word count.

Part 5

😓

You woke up crying at the beautiful dream you had. It wasn't real. The life you dreamed of wasn't real. Your happiness was gone in an instant. You cried until you couldn't cry anymore. How was it that one person could make you feel all of this? Even after it's been 2 months since the breakup. You still got good morning and good night texts from Joseph. But you wished it would stop. He was making it incredibly hard to move on. Especially since his face was plastered everywhere.

You got up and found Colin doing some school work. Your sniffles gave you his attention.

“Colin. It happened again.”

“Shit come here friend.”

You went to him on the couch and hugged him.

“Which one was is this time?”

You wiped your tears. “ The one where I was pregnant.”

“Oh man. I’m sorry. What can I do?”

You took a shallow breath. “There’s nothing anyone can do. It’s just gonna take time.”

“I really thought he was gonna try after that night.”

“Why would he? He already made his decision...I just don’t understand how the universe allowed some people to meet, when there’s no way for them to be together. The truth is I laughed hard with him. I trusted him with my heart. He saw me. The real me....Why wasn’t I good enough Colin?”

“Okay bitch what we’re not going to do is shit on ourselves. So that’s enough of that. It’s not your fault that he’s being a shit for brains.”

“See I know this. But he just brings out all of my feelings. The good and the bad. Hearing his voice still gives me a warm feeling. I still get butterflies when I see his pictures. I read all of our old texts and saw how happy we were. He is still the first and last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I still have pictures of us and look at them and smile so much that my cheeks hurt.”

"THAT'S IT! GET YOUR ASS UP RIGHT NOW!"

You jumped when he yelled and got up pulling your hand.

"We are gonna burn his shit."

" No poop."

"Yes! It's the only way to move on. And block his number."

"Colin."

"No y/n. This needs to stop right now. You can't keep doing this to yourself."

You watched as he pulled every picture you had of you and Joe and shoved them into the small metal trashcan you had in your room. He grabbed the stuffed animals Joe gave you from his visits overseas. He went through your draws and took out the LAMDA shirt.

"Colin no. Not the shirt."

"Yes we need to get everything."

You followed him outside as he lit the stuff on fire. Tears ran down your face as you watched your time with Joe turn to ash. Maybe Colin was right. Maybe this is what you needed to get over him. You went back into your room after locking the door. You laid down looking at your phone. It was one o'clock in the morning. You sat there on Joe's contact info. Moving your thumb back and forth on the block and delete setting. You didn't want to and maybe you should have. But you just couldn't. Instead of blocking him you called.

The phone kept on ringing until you got his voicemail mail. You hadn't heard his voice in so long that you felt your heart sink. When you hear the beep you paused before you spoke.

" Hey it's me. I just wanted to see how things were. I hope everything is going well. I need to say something. Because chances are I'll never get a moment like this again. So this is everything I wanted to say. No one has ever gotten to me the way that you did. No one has ever made me laugh like you did. You were honestly the only one I saw myself happy with. You are my definition of love. And I would like to think if we never speak again, one day you'll look back on me as someone who wasn't scared of the future when you were by my side. I'd like to think that you'll remember me as someone who loved you, the best I could. I'd like to think that as somebody you could have spent your life with, if only I was honest with you from the beginning. If only the timing would have been right. If only we had worked just a bit harder. I'm sorry. But I got to let you go. I can't have you message me anymore. It's just too hard. Goodbye Quinn."

You hung up. " I love you." You deleted his number and cried yourself to sleep.

...

After the phone call Joe wanted to run to you. He wanted to tell you that he was being stupid and stubborn. But knowing that you were drunk he wanted to talk to you sober. He has planned on doing it soon but he has so much work to do. That he was gonna be out of the country the next few months. And as luck would have it that night when he punched Jamie he had broken his phone. So he had to wait for another one. He finally got a new one, three weeks later. And he immediately started sending you texts in the morning and night in hopes that when he came back you would talk to him and he would win you back.

It wasn't until the following day that he heard your message. He was distraught. He called you right after, but it went straight to voicemail. He called you none stop for an hour. When he couldn't get ahold of you he set so many messages that the screen was filled with a one sided conversation. Pleads, apologies, and begs for you to call him back filled what seemed like pages. He tried Colin but still no response.

That's when he sent the voicemail to Jamie. He called him just 2 minutes later.

"Joe are you a'right?"

He shook his head on the verge of tears. " No mate. Have-Have I lost her?"

" I...I don't know. Have you tried calling her?"

" She won't answer. Her and Colin cells go straight to voicemail and they are not reading my messages."

"I'm sorry Joseph. I think they might have blocked you."

" So she's gone now?" His voice broke

" I don't know. I will call her and see what's going on."

"Y-yeah." He said while hanging up.

...

You spent the following day out and about with Colin. You guys passed by this theater that was holding open auditions for The Walking Dead. Colin convinced you to go and try it out. You thought it would actually be cool to play a zombie. Ever since Joe you wanted to try new things. And though this was out of your comfort zone you wanted to do this. A small part of you would hope that Joe would see you and be proud.

Colin went first. He was reading a part that was for a new character. You had thought you guys would be zombies but when someone handed you a script you read over it. Your eyes were saucers. You were not expecting this. Your phone buzzed and you saw that it was Jamie. You were gonna answer it but they called out your name. So you turned off your phone to go out and did a reading.

You pretended to pull off a backpack and opened it. You looked up and the person who was reading.

It came so naturally that it surprised even you. I'm the beginning you were so nervous, but once you got to the monologue portion you just ran with it. You said your thank yous and went to wait with Colin to watch all the other performers. When everyone was done the producers called out names for the ones they wanted to read again and all the others could leave. When they call you and Colin you guys were so giddy. This time though they gave you a different script. You were to read the part of Adelaide. (Ada for short). It was a scene where the character was answering the 3 questions Daryl Dixon asked. The character was supposed to be his new love interest.

"How many walkers have you killed?"

"218. Well 219 after that one." You said nodding to the zombie you just saved him from.

"How many people have you killed?"

You pretend to pull out some smacks and fed it to his dog.

" 2"

" Why?"

You stood up and sighed. You brushed your nose with your index finger and looked up. Fighting back tears of anger and clenched your fist.

" And cut." The producer shouted. " alright Miss L/N we would love for you to join the cast. Would you like the part of Adelaide?"

" Because they raped and killed my sister. Using her body for bate."

" Ummm." You looked at Colin and he nodded. "Yes! I would like that very much. Thank you!"

You and Colin went out to celebrate. Now not partaking in any inhibitors you filled up on fries and milkshakes. You haven't eaten a carb for almost 2 years now. It was heaven. In the middle of celebrating you return Jamie’s call. After a brief conversation you told him about the role you just got. You asked him about Joe and he said he was fine. He asked for you to call him but you refused.

...

Jamie called Joe back after he hung up with you.

“Is she a’right?” Joe was concerned

“Yes Joseph she more than a’right. She just got offered a part in this show called The Walking Dead.”

What?

“But she’s scared of being on stage. I don’t understand. How is this possible?”

“I have no idea. But she seems very happy.”

She’s happy?

“Is she willing to speak to me?”

She is better off without me.

“Joe, I don’t think it’s the best idea. She’s been having a rough go around after the break up. Colin said she’s finally smiling again. Even eating normally now.”

“But I love her mate. I wanted to be with her since the phone call.”

“I know that. But I’m going to be brutally honest with you. Had you had no time in the past month to talk to her? I know you’re busy but we are all busy and still we sre able to make time for our love ones.”

“I wanted to talk to her face to face. Not over some messages or through a phone call.”

“Okay if that’s true why haven’t you come home to talk to her. I’m sure you had a free day or two.”

“It is true. And I wanted more than just a day with her.”

“Joe if you really wanted to be with her. No amount of time would have stopped you from seeing her. Every moment you spent with her would have been worth it. I know you love her. I was supposed to be your best man. But do you think that maybe you didn’t try sooner was because you’re still afraid of hurting her or have her get hurt again by someone else? Or maybe you think you don’t deserve someone like her?”

“I-I don’t know.”

Jamie sighed “ Okay let me ask you this. How would it make you feel if you never saw her again?”

He took a second before taking a deep slow breath. “It would hurt even more than it does now. I would be lost without her. My universe would collapse. I would rather walk this world alone if not with her.”

“Joseph, I know that this is how you feel but you never gave yourself time to actually consider how she feels about this. Of course you know she is madly in love with you. But after that call do you really think it’s wise to make her feel all the sadness again? Don’t get me wrong. I love her for you. But it seems to me that you are uncertain of what you want. You do know that there are some people that are just meant to be a season for you. A light to pull you out of the darkness. No matter how deeply you’re in love with that person or no matter how much you shared your heart. There will come a time where you have to say to yourself. Is the love we share worth sorrow. Is it worth all the tears. It was like she fell out of the sky for you. I believe that the best type of love is unexpected. You meet them by fate and it’s an instant connection and the chemistry you have is undeniable. You just talk and notice the way their lips curve when they look at you or the color of their eyes. You either feel insanely lucky or completely fucked. What I’m trying to say is I know the love you shared is worth it. But give yourself time to find each other again. Grow so that you can be the best for each other. Because when you finally do, nothing and no one will be able to tear you apart again.”

Joe knew now exactly what he had to do. And that was to let you go. Just so that you could come back to him one day. He was going to be better not only for himself but for you. He was going to be strong and he was going to work out his career so that he can be with you whenever he wanted. He would make sure that everything was ready for you when you came back. He is going to make you were safe and he was going to make sure that you would never question his love for you. That he will never be the reason you cried tears of sadness ever again.

...

It was the first few weeks of filming and man was Georgia hot. Everyone was incredibly nice. You had no idea how much went into making a series like this. You had loved the show and now you were a part of it. The make up looked so real on the zombies it actually scared the shit out of you. You were joined by more new characters than you thought. Bill Skarsgard had actually picked up a role too. It was a bit overwhelming at first but everyone made it as painless as possible.

You were in a total of 14 episodes with the promise of returning next season. Your scenes took about 3 months to shoot. Colin has gotten a role too but he died immediately. The producers kept him on as a zombie. Which was cool as hell..they wanted you to be comfortable and know you would be there alone, so they helped out with Colin.

Today was the day you had the sex scene with Norman Reedus. You were extremely nervous. Not because you were gonna be "having" sex on screen but this would be the first time you kissed anyone since Quinn. You still thought about him every day. You wished him well every morning and hoped he slept well every night. You still missed him very much but today made things change slightly.

The scene was shot and though it was weird, Norman was so sweet. His beard reminded you of when Quinns used to scratch you a bit. Kissing him was nice and though you guys didn't actually have sex. It was nice having someone that close to you. It was a good afternoon. Until it wasn't. You and Colin were having lunch when you guys overheard some extras talking about you and Quinn. Everyone knew about the incident. Everyone was so kind about it and no one brought it up until a month into shooting.

They were saying how you only got the spot because the director thought he could get Joseph to join next season as the new villain. Colin stood up from the table and went to approach the assholes. That's when Bill came and sat next to you with his sandwich.

* Hey that's not true. People here are so dramatic."

" Hey Bill. I know it's not. I just don't want everyone thinking that."

" Please, the people who actually matter don't think that."

You smiled at him and he returned it. Colin came back after giving the extras and earful. He was happy to see Bill and you talking and sitting so close to each other. Colin began flirting with him, making Bill laugh at his attempts.

" So I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me sometime?"

You thought Bill was asking Colin but Colin kicked you under the table.

"Oww what the-" you looked up from your food was met with Colin's eyes widened and slightly nudging to Bill who was looking at you with a beautiful smile.

You were at a loss for words. Today was definitely a weird one. " I uhh."

"Yes. She would love to." Colin answered for you.

You gave Bill a nervous smile before blushing and looking back down.

" She's shy huh?" Bill asked Colin.

" Just a bit but she's totally ok with hanging out."

"Um guys. You do know I can hear you right?" You said awkwardly.

" Well then say something bitch."

You kicked Colin so hard that he jumped. And Bill just chuckled.

"Umm dinner sounds nice."

Bill looked at you and smiled. "Great. How about tonight? My place?"

Shit

" Su-sure"

"Here give me your phone and I'll put in my number and the address of my hotel."

You handed him your phone and gave Colin a look. He was smirking at his success in getting you a date. When Bill was finished he handed back your phone and grazed your hand. You were flustered for a moment before receiving a text from Colin.

" Seriously how the fuck are you getting these damn actors? Do you have some magic vagina you forgot to tell me about?"

You ignored it and finished your lunch talking about the scene with Colin and Bill. You felt Bill's thigh pressed up against yours ever so often and it actually made you uncomfortable. You really didn't want to go out on a date with him. But now you were in it and you couldn't back out. Colin would've made sure you didn't.

You were getting dressed in the hotel room you and Colin insulted the way you were dressed.

" Please tell me you're not gonna wear that."

" What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

" Bitch you need to dress hot. And shave your damn legs."

"No! I'm not going to sleep with him."

" Why not?! He's so fucking hot!"

" Yes he is poop. But you know why."

" Fuck Joe. Just get it in. I'm sure Bill can make you forget all about him."

" I don't want to forget about him. I still love him."

" Yeah I know you do. But you need to try and move on."

" I know but I don't want to move on with anyone else. I just want to be alone."

" Well you can still be alone. Just hook up with him. I know your ass is horny. I hear the buzzing when you go into the shower."

"Stop it l. No you don't."

" Yes I do bitch. And it's cool. When you're gone I bust out my nine inch and go to town."

"EWW!"

" Shut up you know masturbating feels good. Don't deny it."

" I'm not. You're just over sharing."

" And? That's what we do."

You rolled your eyes and didn't change after all.

Dinner was pleasant. Bill was very nice. He asked what happened with Joe and you told him that you guys were on a break. You explained how you weren't interested in hooking up. Because you could tell that he wanted to. Though he seemed bummed he agreed to be just friends. Well for now he thought.

After 3 months of shooting you and Bill became close. Once Colin died in the show he went back home. Leaving you to the charms of a Skarsgard. You haven't stopped liking Quinn. But you also haven't started like Bill. So it was awkward to say the least.

...

It was a few months later that the season was released and you were beyond excited. The amount of love you got for being a plus size actress was incredible. Sure there were some haters but their comments were overshadowed by the love. Sometimes people would mention what happened with the incident but all were apologetic. There was even a fan page shipping you and Norman. Even a silly petition for you and Quinn to get back together. It was cute but it also hurt. You had seen that Quinn was hanging out with some models lately and it hurt. You thought that if you waited and stayed alone that one day your paths would cross and you guys could try again. But when you saw that he was working on returning to Stranger things. He wasn't going to be around. It took forever to film episodes so you knew he wouldn't be attending any Cons when the cast of The Walking Dead would have a table.

You hadn't seen him in months and you really hadn't been searching for him. You were just as busy as he used to be. Now you understood how he was able to get held back so often instead of coming home right away. Many interviews and photo sessions and promotions, you barely had anytime to yourself. It was okay though because you had Bill to count on when you felt home sick. He was really kind and patient with you. You knew he wanted more than just a friendship, but you couldn't give that to him just yet. After all this time you still weren't over Quinn.

You were in LA for a Meet and greet/Con when Jamie invited to his place for a small gathering. He was on a few days break while they filmed scenes without him. He told you that Quinn was in London visiting his parents. You were disappointed because you really missed him. You had started to forget how his voice sounded. How his touch felt. How soft his lips were. How his dick felt and it hurt you more than words could describe.

So you and Bill attended the party. You had missed Jamie so much. You held him so tightly that it brought tears to your eyes. You were gonna introduce Bill but him and Jamie were already acquainted.

" Günther, nice seeing you again." Jamie shook his hand and chuckled at one of Bill's middle names.

" Jimmy Jam how goes it?"

" it's going good. Mind if I borrow y/n for a moment."

He nodded and Jamie pulled you into the kitchen. Hugging you again.

" Oh love I have missed you."

" I miss you. How are things? How is Quinn?"

He let you go still with his hands on your shoulders. " Everything is fine. He's ok. Misses you."

You smiled sweetly. " I miss him."

" I know love. But what's going on with Skarsgard?"

You looked over to Bill and he smiled and waved at you. You return the wave with a grin.

" Nothing's going on. We are just good friends."

" Are you sure about that? The way he looks at you. Seems like he wants more than that."

You looked back at Jamie remembering the woman Quinns has been seen with.

" Well yes I know how he feels. He tells me. But I'm not ready. I just want my heart to heal before I take that step."

" So you like him then?"

" Umm yes and no." You said moving away from Jamie to get yourself a snack of cheese and crackers. " He's very kind and smart...but he's not Quinn. Don't get me wrong we have a lot of fun together. I just don't know how it will be when we are together.... I haven't been with anyone since Quinn and I'm not sure if Bill would still like me if we kissed. And what if he doesn't like my body?"

" That's ridiculous. You're beautiful. Any man would be crazy to not love you and want to be with you."

Your face fell and your heart sank.

Not Quinn though.

Jamie noticed your demeanor and put an arm around your shoulders. "He loved you as best as he could."

"I know. It's fine. I don't want to talk about him anymore."

The night was lovely and you and Bill left. Jamie called Joe right away.

" Joe I know you're visiting you mum. But there's a con in 2 days and you really need to be here."

" What? Why?"

" Just trust me. You need to be here."

Joe agreed and got on the first plane out. His agent scheduled him as a surprise guest appearance with Jamie and a few others who were off from shooting.

When you and Bill left he walked you to your room. Telling you he had such a good time and he wanted to take you out tomorrow. You agree and he suddenly gave you a kiss goodnight. You weren't expecting it and you were quite shocked to be honest. It was nice. Really nice. His was a very good kisser. You hadn't expected to be as into it as you were. But when he pushed you up against the door you had to stop. It was too much for you. He let up so you could catch your breath. After you did he gave you a gentle kiss and said his good nights before leaving with a huge grin on his pretty face.

When you went into the room you leaned against the door and touched your lips. Your eyes started to swell with tears. You closed your eyes to fight them and you were successful. Quinn didn't want you so it's time that you stopped wanting him. You went to bed that night while still touching your lips. The kiss was really good. But there was no spark. You didn't feel anything. That's when you knew you had to tell Bill.

The following day you broke it to him and surprisingly he took it very well. He said that he felt something but knew after the party seeing all Joe's friends would bring back old feelings. He apologized and said he wanted to remain friends until you were ready to be with him. You didn't know if that would ever happen but you did know you wanted him to be around. Maybe one day things could happen and a part of you looked forward to the day when loving Quinn wouldn't hurt so much.

...

It was Con day and you were so excited. You were answered questions left and right sitting between Bill and Norman. There were a lot of questions about you dating either one of them and you just laughed at the question and said the Normans lady would probably kick your butt. You didn't give an answer for Bill but that was ok. He put his hand on your lower back when a question about Quinn came up. He actually interrupted by saying we were here to talk about The Walking Dead. After about an hour or so you and the rest of the main cast went to do the meet and greet. You took loads of pics and signed as many autographs as you could until your hand hurt. Once you were out of things to sign you went to watch the table talk with the cast of Stranger Things. You and Bill stood in the back laughing at Jamie joking around with Sadie. About half way through the host announced a special guest.

" Give it up for Joseph Quinn!"

The crowd went absolutely bonkers. Your smile fell and it felt like your heart dropped to your ass. He wasn't supposed to be here. When he walked out he never looked so good. He was clean shaven and had that big beautiful smile you loved so much. When he said hello you felt butterflies in your stomach. You didn't notice you were holding Bill's hand. But it comforted you when you finally felt it. You wanted to leave but your feet wouldn't listen to you. You watched in aww as he addressed his fans. When he finally sat down he started answering questions. You saw him whisper to Jamie and he looked rather upset. But then the next fan went up to the mic cutting their little conversation short. Jamie found your eyes and gave you a small wave. You returned it with a thin lip smile.

" Hey Joe. I just want to say that I love you."

" aww thank you" he replied with a grin.

" umm did you know that y/n was added to the cast of The Walking Dead?"

" Erm yeah I heard about it. She was really good in it."

" How did you feel when you saw her making out with Norman Reedus?"

He laughed nervously not wanting to answer. You squeezed Bill's hand tighter when the fan said your name.

" Hey let's go." Bill whispered in your ear.

You finally were able to move your feet when a few members of the audience started saying your name.

Shit.

" She's here right now Joe." Someone said.

" Where?" He got up and shielded his eyes from the stage lights.

That's when his eyes found yours. His big brown fawn eyes were just slits now from the big smile he had on.

" Y/N!" He shouted and ran off the small stage towards you.

You looked up at Bill and he gave you a smile. " It's gonna be ok. I'm right here if you need me."

You nodded and looked back at Quinn who was just a few feet away. He noticed you were holding hands with some guy that looked familiar. He was a bit upset when he saw that but once he saw your sweet soft smile it was pushed away to the back of his mind.

You let go of Bill's hand and shortened the distance to Quinn finally standing at arms length you guys grinned at each other.

" Ello sweetheart."

" Hi Quinn."

You guys stood there for a moment before you heard Jamie say to hug. You both laughed and did. The crowd cheered so loud you actually flinched. Joe felt that and pulled you closer. He was smelling your perfume while you breathed in his body wash. Maybe the hug went on for too long but neither one of you cared. It felt so good to be in each others arms again.

" A'right guys. The show must go on." Jamie interrupted. When you guys broke apart you saw Jamie smirking at his plan being a total success.

" Please join me for dinner tonight?" Joe whispered in your ear, giving you one last squeeze.

" Tell Jamie to get ahold of me and we'll work something out." You said hugging him back.

He nodded and went back upstage getting cheers.

You went back to Bill and walked out to the lobby. This conversation was definitely going to be awkward.

" I'm sorry that happened y/n."

" Don't be sorry. It was all Jamie. He likes to meddle." You said with a bit of nervousness in your voice.

There was this awkward silence as you walked back to the area where you guys arrived.

" I'm gonna have dinner with him tonight."

Bill looked at you and was obviously worried.

" Umm okay?"

" I'm sorry it's just. I need to know where I stand with him. It's been so long and at the end of the day. He's still my friend."

" You don't need to explain. I get it. But I'm glad you told me. I really like you and I know this is hard for you. But you need to know what's going on with this. Because I want all of you. I don't want to share your heart with someone else."

Oh fuck this isn't good.

" Just please don't do anything to wreck the progress you've made. You've been so strong. Don't let your feelings do something you're going to regret."

"I won't. I promise." You gave him a hug. You have to be strong for your sanity. You had to fight every urge to want to be with Quinn. Because Bill was right. You have come so far and your heart was just about fixed.

No matter what you were not going to sleep with Quinn.

...

When Joe left you he looked back and saw you with Bill leaving. He was jealous. When he sat back down he had a look of annoyance. He no longer wanted to answer questions. You were more beautiful than ever and he wanted to be with you.

Did you move on with him? Did you not love me anymore? You said you would wait.

Jamie put a hand on his shoulder noticing he's state of anger and sadness. He leaned over and covered the mic with his free hand.

" They are not together Joe. But you need to act fast." He whispered

Joe was still annoyed but he felt better knowing that you weren't seeing that attractive man. But he couldn't help thinking about what Jaime meant by acting fast. Was he losing you again? No he couldn't lose you again.

Never again.

He ended his appearance early so he could try and find you but you were already gone. He couldn't wait until tonight to ask you to try this again. Because this time he was ready.

He was staying with Jamie due to the short notice of him coming. When they finally got back he had so many questions for him. He and Jamie sat on the couch talking.

" Who was that guy?"

" uh that's Bill Skarsgard."

Skarsgard?

" Oh the guy from it."

" Oh yeah."

" What's going on with them?"

" uhh nothing...yet."

" What do you mean yet?"

Jamie hesitated to answer. " He's trying to be with her. She told me he kissed her the other night."

Joe's heart fell. " Did...did she kiss him back?"

" Joe.."

" Did she kiss him back?!"

" Yes"

" Fuck!.... no!"

" But Joseph, she said she felt nothing. She said she still loves you."

" Then why would she kiss him back?"

" Because she needed to see if she had feelings for him."

" Well obviously she does. She was holding his hand at the event."

" She was?"

" Yes! What have I done? Did I take too long?"

" No she misses you. That's why I said you need to act fast. I don't want them to get any closer than they already are. You guys are supposed to be together"

" What do I do?"

" Common Joe. You've been waiting so long. You know exactly what to do. You know exactly what to say. Just do it. Stop second guessing yourself. I'll make myself scarce tonight. Just please don't have sex anywhere but the guest bedroom."

" We are not having sex. I made a promise that we will be married before we do."

" Well good luck with that." Jamie got up and headed towards his room. " There is a box of 36 count of magnums in the bedside table. Feel free to use them all. I know you will"

" We are not-"

" Whatever you say Joseph. Maybe do that elbow thing." Jamie smirked and left.

We can't have sex. We shouldn't....But fuck I want to.

Joe had hooked up with only one person since you. But it was a mistake. He was in Ireland doing a music video and he was completely drunk off his ass. One of the pretty girls there that looked a lot like you was flirting with him. One thing led to another and he found himself in the pubs stall getting the absolute worst head. The only reason he came was because he pictured your beautiful full lips wrapped around his cock. Your beautiful eyes looking up at him with such love and lust he couldn't take it. He came quickly as he could and left feeling like a complete ass. Even though it was a mistake he knew what he was doing and he felt like he cheated on you. For weeks he beat himself up for it. And he still did. But today when he saw you all he could do was feel guilty. He planned on telling you tonight in hopes that one, you wouldn't hate him after and two that it would set the mood to not take you and make love to you on every surface on Jamie's house.

He was so flustered in the kitchen that he burned almost everything. He had planned on making you roasted chicken and sides when he kept setting off the fire alarm. He was so damn nervous that he just opted out and ordered takeout. It's not what he wanted but he had to. Time was moving against him without mercy.

He had just finished setting the table when he heard the front gate buzz. He went to the security monitor and saw you in a rental. He opened the gate and went outside to meet you. You pulled up and got out of the car. You were wearing anything particularly seductive or revealing. Just a plain black flowy skirt that was just above the knee with a white top that fitted you just a bit snug around the breasts, with sleeves that went down to your elbows. You had a silver necklace with a ring on it and your hair flowed freely. You looked so good that he wanted to take you on the roof of your rental. But when you smiled at him all he wanted was to kiss you.

" Hey Quinn."

" Ello sweetheart. You look lovely."

You hugged him with your arms under his. It still felt like home in his embrace. You guys stood there for what seemed like mere seconds but was actually a good ten minutes before Joe pulled away.

" Common my love. Dinner is getting cold."

You nodded and let him lead you in holding your hand. He pulled out the chair for you and took your keys setting them on the kitchen counter. You looked down and saw your favorite take out place in LA.

" How did you know this was my favorite?"

Joe grinned. " Jamie asked Colin."

" Oh I didn't know they talked. That's cute. Colin is in love with him."

" Really? Hmm maybe we should get them together."

" What? Jamie's not-"

" Well not completely. He's bisexual."

Your eyes widened and you couldn't believe you didn't know that.

" Yeah I know. He's very good at hiding it." Joe basically read your mind.

He sat down next to you and started to serve you and him. You watched happily only wishing he cooked instead. You missed that so much.

" Sorry I tried making dinner but I kind of burnt it."

" Quinn did you suddenly get telepathy or something?"

He chuckled. "No l. Why do you ask sweetheart?"

"Because I swear I was just thinking about how I missed your cooking."

He looked over to you and pressed his lips into a cute smile. He put down the serving spoon and pulled your hand into his rubbing circles with his thumb on the top.

" I'm glad I can still do that."

"Glad that you could still do what?" You said while looking down at your hands. You move your fingers and interlock them with his.

" Still be able to know what you're thinking. Without asking."

You closed your eyes and smiled sweetly. "I'm glad too."

After a brief moment of comfortable silence Joe's heavenly voice was deep and soft.

"Let's eat shall we?"

"Yes I'm starving." You said not letting go of his hand.

You guys had a great meal and an even better conversation. It was if you guys never had broken up. You clung to each other with every word that was said. After you helped Quinn clean up the kitchen so that Jamie wouldn't be upset with the mess that Quinn made. You moved as if you were still living together. Afterwards you guys settled on the couch.

" So how is it being the new face of The Walking Dead?"

" It's undescribable Quinn. I love being an influence to all the big girls out there. Letting them know that they can be anything they want to be."

" It's brilliant. That feeling you get."

" Yes. I know now why you love it so much."

It was getting late and all you wanted to do was kiss him. You wanted to see if you guys still had that spark. By the way you guys were tonight it seemed to still be there. But you needed to know for sure. You needed to know where your place was in his life. If you still had one that is.

" Quinn what are we doing here?"

He smiled. "We are getting reacquainted love. I have missed you so much. I love how happy you are."

You returned his smile with a small but sweet one. "I've missed you too."

There was a moment of awkwardness when Joe spoke up.

" May I ask you a question?"

" Sure."

" Why did you block my number?"

You stood silent for a second nervous about answering. "I uhh need some space. I needed time away from you. The texts you sent weren't helping me get over you."

" You're over me?"

" Umm I... yes and no."

" What?! Why?! It's because of that guy right?"

" What? Bill..God no he's just a friend okay."

" Really? So you just kiss all your friends?"

Fucking Jamie man.

" Hey that's not fair."

" What isn't? That you said you would wait for me and then go kiss another bloke when you had the chance." Joe wasn't holding back his punches not this time.

" That's not ok. You don't get to use a meaningless kiss against me. What about the girl in Ireland huh?"

"She was a moment of weakness and I'm sorry. But how-"

" Common Quinn, do you really think someone giving the famous Joseph Quinn a blow job wasn't going to get out? Come on you're not dumb. Besides yeah it did hurt me but I don't hold it against you, because we weren't together."

" But I wanted to be."

" Seriously?!" This conversation now was just pissing you off. You stood up and fought back the tears that made their way to the surface. " Then why the hell did you break up with me?"

" Sweetheart you know why. I had no-"

" Choice." You cut him off. " Really?! If you loved me you wouldn't have hurt me so bad."

" I never meant to hurt you. I was just doing what's best for you. Don't take it personally. I love you" He said standing too.

You scoffed. " Don't take it personally? Are you joking? Of course I took it personally, you want to know why... Because I would have never done that to you. I didn't want to be without you. I cried for you, and I hated it, I hated what you did to me. I hated what you said. I hated you....I hated you because I would have chosen us no matter what. And you took that away from me." The tears finally escaped.

" What do you want me to say? I can't take it back. I wish I could. What do you want me to do? I want to fix this. We need to fix this. Because I rather do whatever it takes to make this work. I don't want anyone else. There is no one else for me." His voice broke and the threat of tears came.

" I want you to say I'm the reason for the random laughs. That I'm the reason for all the smiles. The reason you get so happy being on your phone, even though you are barely on it. I want to be the reason you're happy and that you look towards a future with endless possibilities and embrace them...with me."

" But you are all those things to me and more. You have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I belong to you. My heart tells me that you are the best thing for me and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You have me. You could do anything you want with me and I would let you. You can ask me for anything and I would go through hell to make sure you're happy. I love you more than you could ever know. And that's okay because we didn't ask for this. But I'm so happy that we got it. Because now I can't imagine my life without you."

" How can you say that Quinn? After all this time. Not once have you tried to come back to me. Now what are you afraid to lose me. Is keeping me on the back burner now not enough for you?"

He closed the distance and cupped your face. " Now y/n this is enough. I'm done arguing and I'm done being apart from you. I understand that it's been hurting you that we have been apart for so long. But it's killing me. And I'm finished. I refuse to spend another moment without you. So come back to me."

" You have NEVER been on the back burner! You could never be. Don't you get it? I've decided on you" he came closer until he was just a foot away from you. "You're eyes are the ones I want to get lost in, your voice is the one I want to hear for hours on end. Your smile is the only one I cannot resist. I want you to be the only one my arms wrap around. It's you who I want, you who I choose."

You grabbed his wrist and pulled them off. You held one of his hands and looked at them. You turned your gaze upwards to meet the big beautiful eyes you missed so fucking much. You put your free hand under his ear to hold his face still as you got on your tippy toes and kissed him with such passion that you could feel his tears fall on your cheeks. You weren't sure if they were from heartache or from sheer bliss. Either way it was the best kiss you and him shared.

As you guys kissed the world melted away. The love that once seemed lost was found. You guys entangled yourselves in each other. Trying to get as close as possible. You sank to the floor with Quinn on top of you. His hands touching everything he possibly could, while yours embedded themselves in his hair and under his shirt on his back. The warmth between your legs increased as he pushed up into you. Making your skirt fall down and up to your waist. You could feel his erection against the thin layer of your nude color panties.

He kissed down your neck sending chills down your spine and making your core slick. A low moan left your chest and he kissed your collar bone and moved his hand down to your aching sex. As soon as he touched the bundle of nerves you arched your back and scratched his. Making him hiss at the pain/pleasure.

He grunted in frustration as he felt how wet you were, because he knew he should stop. He wanted you. He needed to feel you. But he shouldn't. And with all the pretty noise you were making that he had forgotten made it hard for him to stop. So he wasn't going to. He got to his knees and eye looked over at you. Eyes full of need and love. Your beautiful smile made his heart pound against his ribcage. He pulled off your shoes and went straight for panties. His eyes never left yours. He put your soaked garment in his back pocket and lifted your knees. He got comfy on his stomach and pulled your legs over his shoulders. The most beautiful pussy he's ever seen was right in front of him. He could feel your thighs quiver from anticipation.

"God sweetheart. Don't ever keep this way from me again."

" I would never do that." You sighed. " I'm not one who kept themselves away for us."

He looked up to meet your eyes. His was filled with sadness and so were yours.

" Never again okay?"

Your words brought happiness to him again.

" Never again."

He kissed your inner thigh and was about to send you into your own personal heaven when Jamie walked in.

" No. Oh Joe no. What did I say about keeping it in the guest room?"

Joe jumped up and sat with his back towards the lower part of your body trying to cover you. His hand came back pulling down your skirt as best as he could. You on the other hand were frozen from embarrassment covering your mouth.

"Hello y/n looking as beautiful as ever."

You blushed and sat up not looking at him.

" We're sorry mate. Uhh things got out of hand."

Jamie raised his brow. " I see that."

" Sorry Jamie." You finally said getting to your feet with Quinn following suit.

" It's fine love. I'm just glad to see you back together. I'm even happier knowing what I said to Joe earlier happened." He smirked

" What was that?"

" Oh don't worry about it sweetheart. Jamie is just being delusional."

" Is that right Joseph?"

" Yes mate!"

Jamie laughed." A'right I'll leave you two love birds to it. If you need more condoms let me know."

"Jamie!" Joe yelled

Jamie snickered and disappeared into the hallway.

Joe turned to you and held you as you guys laughed.

" I uhh should get going."

" What? Why?" Joe's voice had sadness in it.

" Umm well it's late and I don't want to do anything while Jamie is here."

" Then I'll come with you."

You gave him a quick but soft kiss. " No. Let's just take the night to go over everything. Come see me in the morning and we will have breakfast."

Joe pouted but agreed. It was probably for the best anyways. He walked you out to the car and gave you a long hug and kissed you deeply. He felt your hand reaching for his back pocket and he grabbed your wrist.

" No no my love. Those are mine now."

You giggled giving him one last hug before opening the car door.

" I love you Quinn."

His grin reached from ear to ear. " I love you y/n"

He watched as you drove away wishing you safe travels. He skipped back inside and got ready for bed.

As soon as you got into the parking lot of the hotel you called Colin.

"Poop, guess what happened?"

" oh I know. Jamie just told me."

" Really?!"

" Oh yeah. We've been texting all day."

' Oh yeah?"

" Yes bitch he is so fine. But anyways did you guys fucked already or what?"

You got off the elevator and started down the hall to your room.

" No. But Jamie caught us before Quinn could go down on me."

" Aww man stupid Jamie."

" It was so embarrassing." You said while turning the corner. You stopped.

" So I'm assuming Joe didn't go back with you?"

You were quiet for a moment.

" Hello y/n."

" Umm Colin let me call you back."

" Bitch what?!"

You hung up the phone and looked down the hall. Bill was sitting next to your door holding flowers. When he saw you he stood up and smiled.

Shit

...

@salenorona23 @browneyes528 @e0509

#joe x reader #fanfic #joseph x reader #joe quinn #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x plus size reader #joe x y/n #joe x love #joseph x y/n #plus size reader #bill skarsgard x reader

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amooo1023 · 3 years

Text

My masterlist and rules.

This masterlist might get updated, so if you see something new in here then you know why.

What I will write:

Reader x (character)

(character) x (character)

Bendy x male reader. (He is literally my only exception to writing male readers NOBODY ELSE)

LGBTQ+

Fanfiction in general.

Headcanons, oneshots and scenarios.

I probably will post chapters of something.

Self inserts, platonic or romantic.

Yandere stuff, masochism, sadism, kidnapping and gore.

What I won’t write:

Racism, pedophilia, incest, necrophilia, sexism, misandry, homophobia, transphobia, body shaming, gerontophilia, ( honestly it depends if the character is a supernatural being then I guess it is okay. Again it depends.)

OC x reader, OC x OC, (real person) x reader, dream sexual, Gijinka!(character) x reader, childlike! reader, yandere x yandere. Yandere! reader. (I don’t know how to write yandere readers sorry) Female readers or male readers. (it’s also just kind of not needed since I never need to use third person pronouns and never mention how the readers body looks like.)

(Because yandere x yandere is boring and you don’t really have to do anything with the dynamic. In my opinion.)

Short nickname ideas for (character) x reader or too short headcanon/headcanons.

Smut or sexual shit in general.

What fandoms I will write about!:

Stardew valley ( Krobus, Dwarf.)

A hat in time ( Snatcher, DJ grooves, Conductor.)

undertale ( Flowey, Sans(CNR), Papyrus, Mad Mew Mew(mad dummy), Muffet, Napstablook.)

deltarune ( Ralsei, Susie, Kris, Jevil, Spamton, addisons, Sweet, K_K, Cap’n.)

portal and portal 2 ( GLaDOS, wheatley.)

fnaf (Fnaf 1: Freddy Fazbear, Chica, Foxy, Bonnie. (I write for all of the animatronics, it's just that the writer is lazy. But they will all probably be platonic because dead children. Except for security breach because the animatronics don't seem to have dead children possessing them.))

arcane ( Jinx, Sevika, Vi, Caitlyn, Ekko.)

kirby games ( Magolor, Marx, Meta Knight, Susie, Daroach, Taranza, Zero 2.)

paper mario ( Dimentio.)

sam and max

helluva boss ( Fizzarolli, Asmodeus, Blitzo, Verosika, Stolas, Robo fizz.)

hazbin hotel ( Alastor, Vaggie, Charlie, Niffty, Angel dust, Cherri Bomb, Sir Pentious.)

gravity falls ( Bill, Pyronica.)

batim/bendy and the ink machine ( Bendy(any form), Boris, Alice Angel, Twisted Alice, Sammy Lawrence.)

animal crossing ( Tom nook, Isabelle, Redd.)

ddlc/doki doki literature club ( Yuri, Monika, Sayori, Natsuki.)

fnf ( Hex.)

woy/wander over yonder ( wander, lord hater, peepers, lord dominator, sylvia.)

Toh/The owl house ( The collector, king (platonic only), Vee. )

Amphibia ( Cloak-bot, Frobo, Grime, Darcy(the core), Marcy, Sasha, Anne )

dhmis/don't hug me I'm scared ( Tony, Colin, Sketchbook, Red Guy )

Hollow Knight (Hornet, Quirrel, Grimm, Lace, Mask Maker, Divine, Absolute Radiance, Pure Vessel(the hollow knight) Oro, Mato, Tiso, Sheo, The Collector(platonic only), White Lady, Brumm )also silksong is never coming out (joke)

Poppy Playtime (Boogie-bot, Poppy, Huggy wuggy, Mommy long legs, | and no I do not have a fetish)

Howl's Moving Castle (Calcifer)

The Ghost And Molly McGee (The Chairman, Scratch.) Don't judge me.

COTL/cult of the lamb (Helob, Leshy, Kallamar, Heket, Shamura, Narinder, Sozo.)

More fandoms!

When asking me please specify if you want it to be platonic or romantic, what the scenario is and how the reader is going to be like. I will not make female or male readers as it is supposed to be okay for anybody to read no matter the gender. If you want me to write about an unhealthy relationship or just a fluffy normal relationship please write that in your ask or you might not get what you want. This is highly suggested when asking me or I might not answer your request and even if I did answer, you might not get what you wanted.

Request queue: 14 requests

Drafts: 7

REQUESTS BOARD

Note:

Yes, I am a licensed robot fucker and monster fucker. Damn it I'm simping for bugs now help. ALso here is my ao3 account https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amooo1023/profile.

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disasterofastory · 3 years

Text

Losing you (Anthony B. x Reader)

Losing you Anthony Bridgerton x Reader Warnings: small injury

Request: Hi I was wondering if I could request a Anthony bridgerton imagine where he’s courting the reader and then during the duel with Simon the reader rides there with daphne and he accidentally shoots her (just a graze or minor injury) and afterwards he gets really upset because he thought he was going to lose her and he doesn’t want to cause her any pain

The night was chaotic, to say the least.

The ball was fancy and pompous as always. You wore your best dress to impress the oldest son of Lord Bridgerton, and you felt beautiful under his gentle gaze. He broke his own rules and danced with you three times to reveal his intentions with you in front of the whole ton. He whispered sweet nothings to you as you moved with his arms around you, but his attention was not entirely on you after his sister appeared in her wonderful white dress. And you understood his conflict. Daphne’s debut is a heavy weight on his shoulders in more ways than one. You tried to cheer him up as best as you could, so he could enjoy the night a little bit, but when he excused himself to go after his sister, you knew the ball was over for you. You squeezed his hand to let him know of your understanding as a goodbye for the night.

But you couldn’t help but worry when you saw the Bridgertons leave with haste. Anthony seemed angry, and Daphne’s agitated expression didn’t help with your feelings either. You tried to enjoy the remaining time of the ball and went home with your parents, acting like everything is alright. They were excited because of you and the Viscount. The night after you got home was long and stressful. You couldn’t sleep because of the anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach. You knew something is wrong, and you had to wait until dawn to get dressed and flee out of the house before somebody woke up.

The air is cold but fresh. In other circumstances, you would enjoy the short walk to the Bridgertons, but now the only thing you can focus on is your rapidly beating heart and the bad feeling, which follows you since the ball. You don’t even have to reach the house with blooming flowers because of Daphne and Colin on their horses' back. “What happened?” You ask them when they stop beside you. “You have to come with me,” Daphne says, leaving a small space behind her. “You can stop Anthony.” “Why should I stop him?” You ask back, but don’t wait for an answer as you hold on to the saddle and pull yourself up behind the young woman. “He wants to duel with Simon,” she answers, goading the horse to move. “What?” You gasp, your arms tighten around Daphne’s waist.

“They are there,” Colin says, pointing to the men in front of you. Your heart jumps to your throat seeing their back turned to each other. You can see the weapons in their hands. You notice two more men around them. One of them is Benedict, but you don’t know the other. Your anger flares up seeing the scene. There are four grown-up men, and they act like idiots! “Faster!” You snap to the girl sitting before you, who gives into your will and pokes the horse to run.

What happens next is blurry as Daphne rides between the two men at the same time they turn around to shoot. The loud booming voice scares the horse under you, who stands in two legs from fright. Your arms slip off from the younger woman’s waist, and your body falls to the ground helplessly. The burning feeling on your bare arm and the shooting pain on your back and head make you dizzy to the point you blackout for long minutes.

Benedict and Colin run after their sister to stop the horse while Anthony rushes to you lying form on the grass. His heart stops beating for what feels like forever as he kneels down next to your motionless body. “Y/N,” he repeats your name countless times, holding up your head in his arm. His breath is rapid and frightened. “Call a doctor!” He shouts, looking up to Simon, who stands not far from them frozen. Your upper body is pressed against his as Anthony caresses your face with his free hand with murmurs of “I’m sorry” and “Please, wake up”.

The minutes till you wake up go insanely slow. Anthony makes sure to feel your pulse over and over again while Colin and Benedict wait not far away from you for Will to come back with a doctor. They can hear their sister’s heated conversation with Simon while they look back at you every few minutes. “If something happens with Y/N, Anthony never forgets himself,” Benedict sighs quietly. “If something happens with Y/N, we never forget ourselves,” Colin corrects him, and his brother nods in agreement.

The world comes back slowly. You can hear Anthony’s words above you, and you can feel his arms around you with the pain in your whole body. A small grunt leaves your mouth as you open your eyes. “Y/N,” Anthony says with a relieved sigh, hugging you closer to him. “Don’t move. The doctor is already on his way.” You want to say something, but you are too hurt and tired to do it. You grab Anthony’s arm without real strength in your grip while you listen to his comforting words. “Everything will be alright,” he promises. “The doctor will be there soon, and you will get well. He can help you, and you will marry me the minute you heal. I don’t care for anybody, you will be my wife before the season ends. I had enough of the courting, I want to live with you. I will never let you out of my arms.” You smile at his rushed words. The pleasant warmth, hearing his plans, almost pressures the pain in you.

The doctor comes to your aid with Will behind him not long after the Bridgerton man’s words. The others have to force Anthony to move away from you so the doctor can examine you and your injuries. The bullet grazed your arm, and you will have bruises from the fall, but he is sure you will be fine. After he tends your arm and helps with your pain with pills, you are free to go. “Y/N,” he says more seriously, helping you up. “Your father is a great friend to me, and this is the only reason this stays between us. But I would hate it if you would get into trouble because of the company you keep.” “Thank you,” you nod gratefully. “I promise it will never happen again.” “I hope so,” he nods uncertainly.

While Colin and Benedict escort their sister home, Will and the Duke disappears with the doctor, so the only one who stays at the small meadow is Anthony and you. He hugs you to his body with such a force you almost laugh at his worry. The pain in you decreased thanks to the pills the doctor gave you, and overall you are just happy because, in the end, everything is alright. “I meant everything I said,” he says after a while. His voice is quiet and tired. The fear of losing you took every strength from him. “I will ask your father for your hand today, and we will marry as soon as possible.” “We should wait,” you reply, and his face gets afraid, hearing your rejection. You place your hand on his cheek to reassure him with a gentle smile on your lips. “Your sister’s wedding will be enough news for today.” “But you want to marry me, right?” He asks. He wouldn’t be surprised if you would say no, but he is a selfish man. Despite his every mistake, he wants you to want him. “Of course,” you nod, caressing his clothed chest under your palm. “I want to be your wife.” You stand in each other arms for long minutes before you speak again. “But if you don’t change your recklessness, I will make your life a living hell.” Your smile is cheeky, but both of you know you speak the truth. “I can’t wait.”

#anthony bridgerton imagine #anthony bridgerton x reader #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton x reader #x reader #the bridgertons imagine

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years

Text

Looking for a Place to Happen 5

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape, age gap, general stupidity, some violence and threats, coercion, manipulation, trauma, sextoy, recording, anal.

This is dark!biker!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Series Synopsis: There’s lots happening in Birch and you find it all too amusing.

Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, Little Bones, and Fully Completely

Note: It was close but y’all wanted more Birch!Sam so here we go. This one is... porn. Let’s be honest lmao.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Chapter 5: Come on in, sit right down

💀💀💀

It was a pain you’d never felt before. It was more than physical, it was deep, it was like part of you was missing. Something taken from you. More than just that outdated concept of purity that you never bought into, more so your autonomy. You never felt very in control of your life, trapped in the small town with dreams but now your life was completely out of your grasp.

Sam left late, some time after midnight. It didn’t matter, you still felt him inside of you. You tried to rinse him off of you, out of you, but the shower only left you cold and hollow. You gave up on sleep just after five in the morning and you typed in a trance, barely thinking as your fingers fluttered over the keyboard.

Hours passed like days and you descended as you heard your nan below, the clink of her heavy cast iron pot on the stove. She cooked her oatmeal in it and it was heavy enough to hammer back in the loose floorboard in front of the fridge. She offered you some as you entered the kitchen and you sat at the table with a sigh.

“Is that man coming back?” she asked.

You tilted your head at her as she put a bowl in front of you and the bag of sugar just for you. You sprinkled the brown granules over your oatmeal and added milk, “you looking forward to it?”

“The only reason I didn’t spray Lysol in his eyes was because of you, girly,” she sat heavy with the jar of artificial sugar and the little cinnamon container, “you know I’d do anything to keep you safe even if you’re too dumb for your own good.”

You nodded and scooped up the thick oatmeal. You pushed your tongue through the oats and said nothing.

“I told you to stay away from that bar,” she huffed. The crotchety old lady was back.

“You seemed happy enough about the pie and wine,” you shrugged.

“You think I don’t know his kind. I’m an old lady, that won’t keep him from cracking my skull like poor old Mikey Rae,” she tutted, “that was the first biker I fucked with.”

“Nan,” you gasped at her language.

“Well, you’re an adult now. Gonna have to grow up quick if you messin’ with those boys,” she pointed her spoon at you, “but you say the word and I’ll twist his balls off. Being old only means I gotta be patient.”

You couldn’t help but snicker. You knew she was serious and you realised then that it was all a show. A cautious act that you’d mirrored for her own sake. But this was a problem you had to deal with yourself. The one thing you couldn’t live with was bringing harm to the woman who raised you.

“No ball twisting, nan,” you shook your head, “alright?”

“For now,” she returned, “but you be careful, girly. You’re in deep enough.”

“I know,” you bit the edge of your lip, “nan?”

“Mmm,” she grumbled as she swallowed.

“Mikey Ray, if he was one of them, who bashed him?” you asked.

“The second one, Colin,” she frowned, “cocky bugger, took what he wanted… until he got what he couldn’t handle.”

“And what happened to him?”

It was the most your nan ever told you about those days, more inclined to talk about her hippy festivals and protest arrests.

“I twisted his balls off,” she snickered, “in a manner of speaking.”

You drew your brows together as you watched her take another bite and she opened the pocket book of crosswords she kept on the table.

“In a manner of speaking?” you wondered.

“I plead the fifth,” she took the pencil from between the pages and adjusted her thick glasses, “but he wasn’t around to cause me any trouble.”

You shoved another spoonful into your mouth and sat back. You always thought your nan was a tough old bitch, you couldn’t imagine what she was like when she was your age.

💀

Sam showed up just after noon. You weren’t surprised but you weren’t happy either. You were only thankful he came in the back. You didn’t need Nan following through on her threats and you would rather she didn’t know about the visit. If you were fortunate, she didn’t notice him for her knitting.

He knocked on your door and you unlocked it. He made no move to enter as he twirled your phone between his fingers.

“Charged it last night,” he smiled, “thought we could have some more fun.”

“I’m working,” you said quietly.

“Did I ask?” his lips straightened and he tilted his head, “and it’s about time you came over. Kind feels off with the old lady just on the other side of the wall.” You winced at the memory of the night before. He noticed and chuckled. “Kinda hot too but… still,” he mused.

“You can’t come back later?” you crossed your arms.

“You were so good last night,” he said, “I don’t like this little game you’re playing so don’t make me give the old lady a show. Let’s go.”

You dropped your arms and grabbed your thinner jacket from the back of your chair and shoved your feet into your zip up Martens. He waited with his arm across the open door and you stepped past him as his other hand went to your ass and squeezed. He closed the door and followed you down the wooden steps.

The snow wasn’t as deep as the first fall and you crunched through to the sidewalk. He placed his arm over your shoulders as he ushered you along to the main road. You passed The Asp and cut through the lot as he waved to other members of the club.

“I talked to Bucky, let him know you won’t be an issue any longer,” he said, “right?”

“Right,” you echoed and hugged yourself against the bitter air.

“Aw, honey, don’t worry, we’re about to get you warmed up,” he led you down another side street and up the paved walk of a pale blue house, “this is my place, Chez, uh, Wilson.”

He let you inside and nudged you further in as he followed. You slid out of your boots and he helped you out of your jacket. His impatience showed as he unzipped his coat and tore off his own boots. He took out your phone and grinned.

“Today,” he held it up, “you can get this back… if you earn it.”

You stared at him and picked at the hem of your shirt. His eyes followed the movement of your fingers and he licked his lips.

“Why yes, you can take that off, that’s a great start,” he purred, “all of it.”

You clenched your teeth and gripped the fabric nervously. He shouldered past you and pointed across the front room.

“You can go wait for me in there,” he said, “I’ll be a couple.”

You nodded and made to pass him but he stopped you before you could enter the living room. The place was cozy even if you didn’t want to be there. He bent and turned your face up to kiss you sloppily. He tapped your ass again as he urged you onward.

“Gotta loosen you up,” he taunted, “in more ways than one.”

You continued across the room if only to get away from him, even if it wouldn't be for long. You pushed past the painted door and entered the bedroom. The wall was hung with a large framed diagram of a Harley and another of a bike engine. There was a large poster for the Godfather and a Marvin Gaye album leaned against a retro player. The bed was made and the carpet freshly vacuumed.

You went to the dresser and looked over the dog tags that hung from a miniature statue of David. You looked up at the large mirror over the dresser and you looked as scared as you felt. You gulped down your nerves as he entered and looked away from your reflection.

He had a stool in hand and kicked the door closed. He placed it between the bed and the dresser. He kept his hands on the top and his chest flexed beneath his grey henley. He watched you knowingly and tutted.

“You’re not naked,” he said, “don’t you want this back?”

He let go of the stool and revealed your phone once more. You murmured and lifted your shirt slowly. He went to the dresser and unfolded a small metal tripod and affixed the cell to it. He angled it then slid out the top drawer. You scoffed as he turned around with a large suction dildo and stuck it to the top of the stool, your hands frozen on your open fly.

“Um, what the hell?” you sputtered.

“I think you know what the hell but I’m more than happy to give direction,” he wiggled the dildo and let it wobble as he pulled away.

You gaped at it. You couldn’t fit that whole thing in you. How were you even supposed to get yourself onto that?

“Honey, quit stalling,” he warned as he put his hands on his hips. You blinked at him and scowled, “or we can make a special post for TikTok… but I think it might be against their terms of service.”

You glanced away and pushed down your jeans. You let your socks crumple in the ankles and stood to unhook your bra. He hummed as he moved to lean against the wall beside the dresser and crossed his arms over his chest. You hesitated before you shimmied out of your panties, shying away as you eyed the stool.

“Oh,” he pushed away from the wall and reached into the drawer again. He tossed you a tube and you caught it. Lubricant. “You’re gonna wanna get some of that on there.”

You inhaled deeply and flipped open the cap. You cringed as you hovered the bottle over the tip of the dildo and squirted it onto the silicone. You spread it down the length of the toy and your hand shook. You felt him watching you as embarrassment burned through you.

You finished and capped the lube and set it on the dresser. He nodded to the toy and lifted a brow. You hid your discomfort and approached the stool. You stepped up onto the crossbar and clung to the edge of the seat as you brought your knee up. You felt as if it would all topple as you brought your other leg up.

You shuddered as you felt the tip against your cunt and you reached unsteadily between your legs. You rubbed the head of the toy against your folds to spread the lube and peeked over at Sam.

“Go on,” he ordered, “if you can get that whole thing inside you, I’ll give you your phone back.”

You gripped the toy and pushed it back to your entrance. You lowered yourself a little so it stretched you just slightly. You scrunched your nose at the discomfort and slowly eased further onto it. You got halfway and stopped as you gasped. Your fingers curled around the seat and the toy.

“You’re doing good, honey,” his voice was smoky and you looked at yourself in the mirror. The phone blocked the bottom half of the toy but you could see your cunt around the top.

You bent your knees further and groaned as your walls strained around the dildo. Your eyes watered as it hit your cervix and you arched your back to take it as deep as you could. You cried out as you reached the base.

“Whoa, you really did it,” he mused, “fuck, you look good all stretched out.”

You whimpered and adjusted your legs as you tried not to slip.

“Well, you know what to do,” he motioned up and down with his fingers.

“Please,” you breathed, “I did--”

“Not done yet,” he said pointedly.

You huffed and lifted yourself carefully. You pushed back down and let out a moan as the toy grazed your walls. The fullness was overwhelming, a painful pressure laced with pleasure. You rocked your hips as you moved on your knees and gripped the edge of the stool, mindful not to shake the stool too much.

You closed your eyes as your breath hitched. You needed more. The toy could only do so much as your clit thrummed and the wetness spread down your thighs.

“Mmmm,” Sam came around you and snaked his arm down your front. He pushed his fingers between your swollen folds and circled your bud, “you like that, don’t you, honey?”

You whined as your nerves sparked at his fingertips and you sped up. He planted his foot on the crossbar to keep the stool from tipping and you rode out your orgasm as his touch spurred you on.

“Ah, fuck,” he pressed against your back, “I’m so fucking hard.”

You panted and opened your eyes. You looked at yourself in the mirror but quickly shied away. You were weak, so weak.

He stepped around you and reached for the lube. You watched him as you didn’t move from atop the toy and he rounded you again. He drizzled the lube between your cheeks and flung the lube away. He pushed his fingers along your ass and lingered on your tight ring. You winced and tried to lift yourself off the dildo.

He caught your shoulder and held you down.

“Again,” he ordered.

You glanced at him in the mirror and he gave you a stern look as his fingers tightened around your shoulder. You held your breath and began to fuck the toy again. He nuzzled the back of your head and poked against your ass until his finger slid inside. You cried out and his hand went to your neck as he urged you on.

“Ah, honey,” he whispered against your hair.

He drew his finger in and out of your ass as a burning pressure seared through you and added to that in your cunt.

“You can touch yourself,” he uttered as his fiery breath encircled you.

You did so without thinking. He pushed another finger into you and a squeak escaped your lips. You couldn’t help but delight in how the sensations mingled and bloomed to a new climax. He sped up in time with your hips and your legs shook as you came in a series of strangled mewls.

He kept on until you slowed to catch your breath. He slipped his fingers out of you and your head lolled as he removed his hand from your neck. You heard his zipper and as you looked back, his hand stretched across the back of your head and turned it straight. He bent so his head was next to yours and grasped your chin as he made you look at him in the mirror.

“One more time, honey,” he pulled his dick out and his tip brushed along your ass.

You tried to lift yourself off the toy but he hooked his arm around your middle and kept you on it.

“Sam, no, please,” you begged, “I can’t--”

“You can handle it all, honey,” he purred, “I know you can.”

His tip pressed to your ring as he forced you down on the toy. You exclaimed and he pushed until you stretched around the head of his cock. You gritted your teeth and threw your head back against his shoulder.

He pulled back and pushed in again. He got deeper with each slow thrust, an inch at a time, until you were filled by him and the toy. Your eyes welled and the tears trickled down your cheeks as you held onto the stool and grunted through each tilt of his hips.

He trailed his hand down between your legs and spread your folds as he flicked your clit with his middle finger. He moved you against him and on the toy. He pushed into as the dildo reached its limit and your voice grew louder and louder.

Through the agony, you couldn’t help but feel the unyielding tingle in your core and it crawled down your thighs and up your spine. The stool rocked with his motion but he kept you flush to him as he fucked you from behind. Your legs slipped over the side of the seat and you were impaled on the toy.

He didn’t let up as you gasped and gulped, whining as your cunt twitched around the silicone and you came as you reached back to scratch at his open jeans. He rutted into you without relent as he kneaded your thighs and his breath seared down your flesh.

“Ah, honey,” he muttered through his delighted groans, “goddamn, god-- shit, I’m gonna fill you up.”

He slammed into you as deep as he could and you felt him burst. He gave several long thrusts as rode out his orgasm and groaned. When he stilled he leaned against you and sighed.

“You can have the phone back,” he rasped as he caressed your thigh, “tomorrow.”

165 notes · View notes

iliveiloveiwrite · 3 years

Text

Flash of Mauve, Splash of Puce // Colin Bridgerton

Request: Hi Millie!! Could I request a Colin Bridgerton comfort fic, in which the reader gets anxious about their grand first soirée as newlyweds? 🧡 - @gryffindors-weasley

A/N: Oh Sophie, I do adore this request. Thank you so much for requesting! I hope I have done it justice! This does get a little steamy towards the end so I apologise if that makes anyone uncomfortable or if it offends anyone (that wasn't my intention). Title: The Phantom of the Opera - Masquerade.

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Fem!Reader

Warnings: use of female pronouns, use of the word ‘wife’, masquerade balls, lots of fluff and comfort, anxiousness, worries, panic, ballroom dancing, mentions of alcohol. THIS GOT ACCIDENTALLY STEAMY AND THEN FADES TO BLACK, I AM APOLOGISING NOW.

Word count: 3.2k

The annual masquerade ball held exclusively at Bridgerton House was not an event to be missed. Anyone who was anyone in London society was invited; it was a night in which alliances were forged, relationships bloomed, and wit tested to its very brink.

There was no better hostess than that of Violet Bridgerton; her astute eye caught every imperfection, fixing it within a matter of moments. Having held this ball for close to thirty years, she knew exactly how to play the crowd to achieve the perfect reaction.

This meant that her family had to be punctual; they had no excuse for lateness no matter how early into a marriage they find themselves. Violet Bridgerton rarely demanded anything of her children; happy for them to find their own way in life with only little interference on her behalf, but she would absolutely not accept her beloved children being late to their own mother’s ball when they have been guests at the event for all of their lives.

-------------------

The rings sit happily on your left hand. At the right angle, they shimmer in the light of the room, bringing a small smile to your face even as you release a shaky breath. Your gown of gold hugs your figure, cut in the same style as your wedding dress. The skirts flare out in a manner that you know would be spectacular when spun around the dancefloor.

Nerves were beginning to make themselves known; in the shaking of your hands, the turning of your stomach and the wateriness of your smile. Tonight would be your first event with Colin as your husband. How many balls had he courted you at? Four? Five? Too many to count yet tonight was something else entirely; a new level to your life that felt as if it was going to be inspected at every turn.

Pinching your cheeks, you try to bring some colour to your face, hoping it would do something to bring some life into your worried expression.

The door to your bedroom opens with a small click. In the mirror, you spy the muscular figure of the man you had pledged your forever to. Colin shuts the door to your room; leaning back against it with a satisfied smile.

“Are you going to stand there all night?” You ask, trying to keep the hope out of your voice. You’d give anything to stop the growing worry turning your gut to lead, even if that meant trapping yourself in your room all night.

Colin remains silent, his blue eyes growing darker as his gaze runs over the way your dress hangs from your body. The tightened waist pushing your breasts higher on your chest; he lets his stare linger there for a moment before meeting your eyes in the mirror and smiling wickedly.

You roll your eyes, returning your focus to ridding yourself of the worry plaguing you. Logically you knew that tonight was going to be a wonderful evening; spending time with your family and dancing with your new husband. Yet, you couldn’t help but panic over the myriad of eyes watching your every move, waiting for you to mess up in some shape or form so it can become the juicy material whispered around high tea in the week after the ball.

Without a word, Colin pushes himself off the door, strolling leisurely to where you stand before the large mirror. “You look exquisite,” Colin murmurs, trailing feather light kisses along your shoulder to the base of your neck. You tilt your head, giving your insatiable husband easier access to the skin he had spent most of the honeymoon marking with his lips.

He shifts your hair to one side, dropping a slow kiss to the nape of your neck before whispering against your skin, “If I wasn’t so terrified of my mother’s wrath, I would have removed this dress by now.”

Laughter leaves your lips, but it doesn’t sound right. It sounds strangled; too much emotion clogging up your throat, making it hard for the laughter to sound genuine. If you had it your way, Colin would be removing your dress, kissing you on whatever piece of skin a button reveals.

“Darling,” Colin whispers, gently commanding, “Look at me.”

Turning to face him, you can just about make out his brunette hair. The rest of his face is blurred with tears that threaten to fall with the ever growing need to blink. His hands are gentle as he clasps your face; thumbs stroking your cheekbones in a comforting manner.

“If you can, tell me what the matter is.”

Releasing a deep breath, your hands shake slightly as you whisper, “There are so many people coming tonight.”

“It’s the largest ball of the season…” Colin admits. “You know my mother,” He offers apologetically.

“They’re going to be watching us. Watching me, checking for signs…”

“For signs of what?”

“That the marriage is prosperous,” You stutter, uncomfortable with the idea of so many eyes on you so soon after your wedding.

Colin frowns; hands slipping from your face to your shoulders where he rubs soothing circles into the bare skin. Your eyes slip closed from the simple touch; skin heating at the feel of your husband’s hands.

“Think of it as no different from any other ball you have been to,” His hands drop to your waist, pulling you to him, “I am going to be here the entire time.”

You hide your face in his chest, your arms coming up to hold him. “I hate the speculation.”

“I do too,” Colin mutters. “I’d like to live my life without constant comment from the ton but it’s part and parcel of being a Bridgerton.”

You sigh, keeping your face hidden in his chest, relishing the way his hands run up and down your back. “It’s our first big outing as a newly married couple,” You state smally, “I’m scared.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Colin asks, a smile gracing his face.

“What?”

“I’m scared too.”

“You are?” You gasp, your eyes running over his face, trying to find a hint of the fear and worry you feel.

He nods. “But I have you by my side all night so I know I can face it.”

“You have me,” You state firmly. “Do I have you?”

“You have me,” He promises, “Now and forever.”

-----------------

The gossips of the London ton could never deny one thing: Violet Bridgerton always outdid herself. She always managed to keep the theme of the night current and the decorations spellbinding.

This year’s theme for the annual Bridgerton Ball was the sun and the stars tied in with the masquerade that Violet so adores.

Your golden gown shimmers under the light of the room; catching sight of the youngest Bridgertons – Gregory and Hyacinth – arguing over something impossible to decipher. Colin remains a steady presence by your side, leading you through the room, smiling and nodding at the many people.

Freezing in place, your breath catches in your throat as you take in the sheer amount of people. The Bridgerton family were adored by all; it made sense for this many people to show when beckoned by its matriarch. Still, seeing it from a new perspective had your fear returning full force.

Colin’s warm hand settles on the small of your back, coaxing you out of your stupor. “You’re doing wonderfully,” He murmurs, “You’re the most beautiful woman in the room.”

“You’re saying that because I’m your wife,” You tease breathlessly, fear freezing your veins.

Colin shakes his head in fake exasperation. “Even if we weren’t married, my love, I would still think you the most beautiful.”

“I love you,” You respond, voice loud enough for only Colin to hear. He ducks his head at your words; still not used to hearing them leave your lips despite the rings sitting on your finger. “I love you too,” He answers, reaching for your hand and bringing it up to his lips.

He looks pained as he catches the eye of someone across the room. “Anthony is beckoning me,” Colin states, turning his attention from his brother back to you.

“Go,” You urge.

“I don’t want to leave you when you’re this upset.”

“Colin,” You whisper, briefly touching his cheek, “He’s your brother; go to him, see what he needs and then return to me when you can. I’m sure I can find someone to talk to, I think I saw Eloise and your mother a few moments ago.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, blue eyes running over your face.

“I’m sure. Anthony wouldn’t ask for you if it wasn’t important.”

Colin ducks his head; pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek then another to the corner of your mouth. Quietly, so only you can hear, he whispers, “I love you more than life itself.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” You say with a playful shove to his shoulder. Standing on your tiptoes, you press a kiss to his cheek. “I love you too. Now go before Anthony throws a tantrum.”

Colin leaves you with a wide smile and a bow. Shaking your head fondly, you think of your husband as you take a turn of the room, looking for a Bridgerton to talk to. Metallics fill the expansive room; silver and gold flashing on dresses as they’re spun across the floor. Dark blues and purples dotted about as conversations and laughter perfume the air, bringing with it a lighter atmosphere that has you wondering what your initial fears were about.

“Mrs. Bridgerton!” An all-too familiar voice calls.

Turning on instinct, you find yourself face to face with Miss Whittaker. She had come out with you in the same year; she had received a number of proposals – all from well to do gentleman but none were good enough for her. She knew her worth which was admirable, but the way she belittled those she called her friends made it hard to find her truly likeable. A month into your season, you chose to stay well away. You hadn’t looked back since.

“How are you, darling?” Miss Whittaker titters; her acute gaze taking in every aspect of your outfit – down to the very last stitch in your dresses hem.

“I’m very well, thank you. How are you?”

“Delightful, darling. Delightful.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” You answer as earnestly as you can, eyes dancing around the room in the hopes of finding Colin free from Anthony’s clutches.

“Has he already disappeared?” She asks, voice laced with something akin to venom.

“Has who already disappeared?” You ask; face the picture of innocence despite the anger laced with worry settling deep in your veins.

“Why Colin, of course!” She laughs, “I never thought him serious enough for marriage.”

You step back, your mouth falling open in shock as her barbed words poison the very air around you. The familiar burn of tears starts in the back of your eyes, but you push them away; refusing to let the odious woman see how she affects you.

“That’s an awful thing to say,” You whisper, feelings hurt on behalf of your beloved husband.

Miss Whittaker simply shrugs; her voice bored as she utters, “It’s simply the truth.”

“I would hope that the truth you are admitting is one with reliable sources,” Colin’s voice sounds from behind you; his voice stern as he fixes his stare on Miss Whittaker.

Colour blooms high on Miss Whittaker’s cheeks; anger flushing her complexion. Without another word, she flicks open her fan before stalking away from the two of you.

“Are you alright?” Colin asks when Miss Whittaker is a safe distance away, his voice concerned.

“She always was a piece of work,” You comment; keeping your tone light when all you wanted to do was return home.

“You’re not hurt though? You’re sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine, my love,” You state, bringing a gloved hand up to brush his cheek, “Only shocked and hurt at her words.”

Colin frowns, but it doesn’t remain on his face long when you poke at the expression, uncaring whether the whole ballroom was watching you in this exact moment. “I don’t like it when you frown,” You state, poking his cheek one last time.

Colin catches your hand in his, kissing each individual finger before kissing the back of it. “And I don’t like it when you’re upset or when someone upsets you.”

“I guess we’re even then,” You sigh, your now tangled hands dangling at your side.

Colin rolls his eyes, smiling widely at you. The band falls silent to which Colin gets an idea; his mother had told him the order of the dances which he memorised, so he knew which ones to dance with you. He loved nothing more than holding you in his arms; feeling your body pressed against his, noting every rise and fall of your chest.

Clasping your hand tightly in his, Colin begins to lead you the dancefloor. “What are you doing?” You ask, sounding panicked as Colin leads you to the dance floor.

“Dancing with my wife,” Colin states bluntly, settling in front of you with an open hand.

“It is not customary for the husband to dance a waltz with his wife.”

Colin smirks; the picture of nonchalance as he lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “I am not one for custom when my wife looks as stunning as you do right now.”

The music soon begins, and you are swept away in a symphony of rises and falls and the intoxicating presence of your husband. Colin holds your gaze through the dance; his eyes searching yours for any hint of panic and upset. His face relaxes into a breathtaking smile when he finds you happy in your current state; held by your husband in a sea of dancers.

Those that find themselves without a partner stand on the side of the floor, whispering behind their fans of the impropriety being shown here tonight. However, among the many are the few that watch Colin and you twirl across the floor. They take note of how gently he holds your hand, how steadily his hand rests on your lower back and how smitten he looks as he smiles down at you.

In years to come, this dance would still be a topic of conversation amongst London’s gossips but even the gossips could no longer deny the true love exemplified by the both of you.

The orchestra falls silent as the dance comes to an end. Light applause breaks out across the room as your chest rises and falls with the exhaustion that accompanies such a dance. Colin smiles at you, leaving you even more breathless as you step away from far enough for him to still keep a grip on your waist.

“Are you ready to go?” Colin asks, eyes holding the promise of something far more fun than countless dances with the love of your life.

“Take me home, Colin.”

----------------

Colin dismisses the maids and his valet as soon as you walk through the door to your home. When your maids protest, worried about how you would get out of your dress, Colin states quite clearly for the staff that he would be the one to help you with the buttons, laces, stays and whatever else he may come across.

Your maids flush deeply, and you send them an apologetic smile as your husband leads you up the stairs to your shared bedroom.

Any and all worries are forgotten the moment Colin presses his lips to yours, walking you backwards to the bed. Laughter spills from your lips as Colin continues his trail of kisses, beginning at the corner of your mouth before travelling down the expanse of your neck to the top of your breasts, peeking out from the top of your dress. Your breath hitches when Colin kisses a particularly sensitive spot; a low groan follows when he latches onto that area, kissing a love bite there.

As your breath deepens; as your eyes follow Colin’s path of kisses down your chest, he suddenly stops. With a devilish smile, he taps your side, “I think this is getting in our way, don’t you?”

Wordlessly, you nod. Colin’s smile grows larger as his arms wind around your back, finding the buttons to your dress. He undoes them with expert precision, barely interrupting the way in which he captures your lips once more. Sighing happily against his mouth, you note that he tastes of the champagne he had enjoyed before your final dance of the evening; if you focused, you could feel the bubbles of the drink on your own tongue.

You can’t focus, however. Colin’s undone your dress, letting the gold slip from your body as if it were molten liquid. He stands back; loving the way you chase him for further contact. He stands back to get full sight of you before him; standing like a goddess before a mere mortal man. Colin is ready to worship on his knees to be worthy of a woman such as you. He doesn’t deserve you; despite your arguments, you’re too good for him but he would be damned if another man got to see you like this. Skin flushed, chest heaving with anticipation. No – this was a sight purely for him.

His attention turns to your corset, bringing you to him, his nimble fingers begin to work on the criss-cross of laces. With every lace undone, Colin presses a kiss to your bare skin, enjoying the way it heats under his touch. You hum contentedly with every kiss; your fingers running across the broad plains of Colin’s shoulders, squeezing whenever he find a sensitive spot.

The corset is torn from your body; leaving you before him without an ounce of shame. He loves you so wholly that you can’t find it in yourself to hide from him.

Colin’s famously blue eyes do not leave yours as he reaches up, tugging loose the cravat wrapping around his neck. In no time at all, your husband is shirtless, and reaching for you like a starved man would reach for food.

---------------

Your dress is hung. Your nightdress hugging your body softly as you slip under the covers of your marriage bed waiting for the love of your life to join you. Colin tugs on a pair of light cotton trousers he had bought on your honeymoon not even two months ago before joining you in bed.

Rolling onto your side, you rest your head on Colin’s bare shoulder, feeling the rise and fall of his chest with your hand.

“You were a marvel tonight,” Colin whispers into the dark room; his voice giving away his tiredness.

“I had you there to help,” You confess, feeling your eyelids grow heavier as Colin’s arm tightens around you.

“And I’ll always be there,” are his last words before sleep sweeps Colin into its land of dreams. Turning your face, you let your eyes slip closed as you press one, two, three kisses to Colin’s shoulder, enjoying the sleepy hum that falls from his lips and the squeeze of his hand on your waist.

Sleep soon claims you, bringing you to your own land of dreams. Your final thought of the night relating to the man holding you so gently in his arms, feeling his love for you emanating from his body, knowing happily that you return it just as earnestly.

******

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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years

Text

Where We Start Again - 4

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: how do you fake date someone you have real feelings for?

Series Masterlist and Regular Masterlist

Playlist by @tiny-friggin-human

“Wasn’t lunch crazy today?” Your friend Naomi giggled shortly as she leaned against the locker next to yours. You made a face as you finished putting your books away and hoped she didn’t catch it.

“I wasn’t there. I haven’t sat with you guys since Monday.” You told her, a little offended that she didn’t notice you were gone.

“Really? Huh, I didn’t realize.” Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Anyways, Colin and Henderson were flipping water bottles without the caps on and it was the funniest thing. Until Colin got Abby’s hair wet and she told him his girlfriend was cheating on him with Henderson. It was so funny.”

“Sorry I missed it. Is Colin okay?” You asked her and she snorted.

“Who cares?” She replied and you figured you should have seen that answer coming. “Anyway, are you coming tonight?”

“Tonight?” You shut your locker and turned to her.

“Fallons party. He just texted it in the group chat.” Naomi explained and you briefly thought back to the groupchat you never checked. “And I heard from Effie who heard from Lacey that he specifically asked if you were going to be there. He totally wants you.”

“I can’t tonight. I have plans.” You gave her a falsely sympathetic smile and hoped she’d drop the subject.

“What could possibly be more important than Fallon’s party?” She asked like the thought was impossible. “He said he got like, six cases of White Claw and his parents are away. You have to be there.”

“Sounds like fun.” You lied. “Sorry I have to miss it.”

“But Y/n!” She whined and you sucked in a breath. “There’s no laws when you’re drinking Claws. You have to come.”

“I have the science fair and then I have plans with Peter and Ned. I told you yesterday, remember?” You asked her but her face showed no sign of recollection. From the other side of the hallway, Peters ears perked up from the other side of the hallway at the mention of his name. He used his advanced hearing to listen to your conversation after hearing the tension in your voice.

“Who’s Peter Annid?” Naomi scoffed and you had to bite your tongue to keep from screaming.

“Peter and Ned.” You corrected her sharply. “Peter Parker and Ned…I don’t actually know his last name. But I’m hanging out with them.”

“Omg, ew why?” Her nose scrunched you in disgust. Peters face fell upon hearing this, reminding him that you and him lived in different worlds. You looked at her for a moment before deciding what to say next.

“Because I’m dating Peter and friends with Ned. Ned Leeds.” You stared firmly as you remembered his last name.

“You’re actually dating that guy?” Naomi grimaced. “I thought that was just a mean rumor Flash started.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing and laughed in disbelief. You made eye contact with Peter from across the hall and he gave you a sympathetic shrug.

“It’s not a rumor.” You snapped. “Peter makes me really happy. And I have to be at the science fair to see him win.”

Peter smiled to himself at your words and started walking over to you.

“Y/n, people like us can’t be seen with people like them. We definitely can’t be cheering them on at the nerd fair with all the other nerds. What if someone sees you?” She looked genuinely worried for you and your jaw clenched in frustration.

“Is everything okay?” Peter asked as he came behind you. He put his hands on your shoulders and rubbed your arms to calm you down, immediately feeling the tension leaving your body. You leaned your back into Peters chest and looked at Naomi.

“Then they’re gonna see a supportive girlfriend cheering on her genius boyfriend. Enjoy the party, Naomi.” You smiled at her and took Peters hand. “Let’s go, baby.”

You walked down the hall together, away from Naomi’s dropped jaw. Peter couldn’t wipe the smile off his face from you standing up for him.

“What was the about?” Peter asked you once you were far enough away from her.

“Nothing.” You answered. “Conversations with her are never about anything.”

“Are you okay?” Peter could hear the annoyance in your voice lingering from your conversation with Naomi and wanted to help you.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” You stopped walking and turned to Peter, still holding his hand. “Don’t worry about me. You need to focus on your acceptance speech when you win the science fair today.”

“You don’t get to make an acceptance speech. You get a sweaty handshake and a firm, passionate pat on the back from the principal.” He told you and you laughed happily.

“That’s kinda hot. Are you cheating on me with Principle Mendoza?” You teased him.

“I’m sorry. I have a thing for spider veins and your legs are too perfect.” He played along, making you look down at your legs shyly.

“I hate you.” You shook your head and continued to walk to class. “I’m gonna fake break up with you just for saying that.”

“But I cant fake live without you, baby girl. Can you give me another fake chance?.” He pouted. You giggled and wrapped your arms around Peter, pulling him into an unexpected but welcomed hug.

“I’ll give you a million fake chances, baby.” You mumbled into his ear before pulling away. “But I’m about to be late for real math. I’ll see you at the science fair.”

“Okay. I’ll see you there.” Peter smiled in content as you squeezed his hand and walked away. It had been five days of fake dating. That meant there was only more week to go. As much as Peter loved the time you spent together, he couldn’t the shake the fact that it was ending soon. The moments he had with you felt real, but that didn’t change the fact that they were rooted in a lie. Still, you had chosen to blow off a party to come to the science fair with him. That had to mean something.

It meant something to him, at least.

“Look at you with your informational poster.” You smiled fondly at Peter as you walked up to his table. The LEGO lamp you had glued together sat in front of a poster about the science behind solar power. Peters eyes lit up at the sight of you and he stepped aside so you could get a full view of his presentation.

“Thanks for coming, daisy.” He grinned and pulled you into an embrace. You were surprised with him taking the initiative to show affection, but you appreciated it nonetheless.

“I’ve been walking around and you definitely have these people beat.” You said as you squeezed his arm for good luck. “One kid just had a baby carrot taped to a battery.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t actually go to this school.” Peter told you. “They tried to kick him out but he started barking so they let him stay.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, the judges have made their final decisions for the winners of Midtown Techs 75th annual science fair.” A teachers monotone voice came through on a microphone. Ned joined you guys with a box of popcorn, holding it out to you to offer you some. You and Ned stood on opposite sides of Peter as you impatiently waited the heat the winners.

“Let’s go, baby. This is all you. All you, baby, all you.” You mumbled just loud enough for Peter to hear. He chuckled and looked at you from over his shoulder.

“I am so scared of her right now.” Ned whispered to Peter.

“I know.” He whispered back. “I am so turned on.”

“In third place, Madison McDermott.” The teacher announced. Scattered claps sounded from the crowd.

“Madison has nothing on you, baby. Nothing!” You said into Peters ear as you bounced up and down.

“Second place, Chirag Saini.” The teacher said, earning more claps.

“Chirag wishes he was you right now baby, he just wishes.” You hyped him up and rubbed his shoulders.

“And in first place, Peter Parker.”

“AHHHH!” You screamed, wrapped one arm around Peters neck and pointed to him with the other. “That’s my boyfriend! That’s my boyfriend!”

Peter laughed happily and hugged you back, more excited to be holding you than to win the science fair. You buried your face in his neck and squeezed him tightly before running away to collect his trophy.

“She seems excited.” Ned commented with a knowing smirk.

“I have never felt this loved.” Peter squeezed Neds arm in excitement as he watched you bounce around.

“MY BOYFRIEND WON THE SCIENCE FAIR. FUCK YOU CHIRAG - I don’t mean that though your model of the universe is gorgeous- BUT YEAH PETER.” You ran back to Peter and threw your arms around him again as he lifted you off the ground.

“Remember, all I get is a sweaty handshake and a pat on the back. It’s not that big of a deal.” He tried to tell you but you didn’t listen.

“This is the hugest deal!” You grabbed his face and shook it. “You won the science fair four years in a row. And you did it after everything you’ve been through. I’m so proud of you.” You said sincerely and Peters heart melted.

“Meet me outside in five minutes.” He said as he rested his hands on your waist. “I have to show you something.”

“Okay. What’s-“

“Mr. Parker, you’re needed for a photo.” Principle Mendoza called for Peter.

“Go take your picture. I’ll see you outside.” You assured him. Peter kissed your forehead before he lost the nerve and went to get his picture taken.

As the camera flashed, Peters eyes drifted to you. You had your hands clasped together and a proud smile on your face as you bounced on your heels. It almost made Peter emotional to realize he had never been looked at that fondly. In the moment, he knew the truth.

He loved you.

He had developed real feelings for his fake girlfriend.

After waiting the allotted five minutes, you went outside to see what Peter had to show you. You walked slowly, taking the time to think about the past week with Peter. Even you didn’t know why you were so happy that he had won. Something about getting to know him gave you a newfound need to see him happy. As much as you liked spending time with him, you regretted getting attached. You only had a week left of your fake relationship and once it was over, you’d be left crushing on a guy who only saw you as a way to get Flash off his back.

You rounded the corner and saw Peter standing in the courtyard holding a bouquet of daisies.

“What’s this?” You asked curiously and he gave you a bashful smile.

“Will you go to the dance with me?” He asked as he held out the bouquet. You stepped towards him and accepted the bouquet with a confused leer.

“What?” You chuckled shyly.

“I know were already going together but you still deserved a proposal.” Peter explained. “You Flash this is how I asked you and I know you like daisies and I-“

“I would love to go to the dance with you.” You cut him off and sniffed the bouquet.

“We love to see it.” Peter used your own words and made you laugh.

“You are such an idiot.” You shook your head. “Can we go get that sandwich now?”

“Hola.” Ned bellowed as the three of you entered Delmar’s sandwich shop. “Do you know what today is?”

“Oh no.” Delmar gulped at the sight of Peter and Ned.

“Peter won the science fair!” You held up Peters trophy and screamed. Ned started pumping his fist and grunting while Peter hid his face behind his hand.

“Por favor, don’t make me make this sandwich.” Delmar pleaded. “It hurts me as a chef.”

“We’ll take one sandwich which every ingredient please.” Ned ordered and Delmar shuddered.

“Can we get it on whole grain bread?” You asked the boys and Ned gagged.

“Sure. Anything for my girl.” Peter touched your chin fondly. Delmar noticed the display of affection and folded his arms.

“Su novia?” He asked Peter, who looked at you in confusion.

“I’m sorry?” Peter stammered.

“Sí. Muchas gracias.” You smiled politely at Delmar as you dropped a five dollar bill in the tip jar. Delmar smirked at you and held up his hands in defense.

“Fine. I’m make it.” He agreed. “But only because I’m happy for you, niño.”

“His name is Peter.” Ned deadpanned.

“It means kid.” You told them. “You’ve been in my spanish class all four years, Ned.”

“I know.” Ned sighed dreamily. “I love that class.”

“Hey. Quit staring at my girlfriend.” Peter snapped his fingers until Ned stopped gaping at you. You smiled proudly at Peter calling you his girlfriend and wrapped your arms around his torso.

“She’s your fake girlfriend.” Ned reminded him. “Why do you care?”

“Because she’s right here. And she can hear you.” You said sarcastically as Peter wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“Here. I made your disgusting sandwich.” Delmar slammed the sandwich on the counter angrily and Ned paid him.

“Grassy ass. Me gusta el sandwich.” Ned took the sandwich and bowed.

“Get out of my store.” Delmar ordered. You and Peter stayed in each other’s embrace and you left the store.

“We usually eat it on the rooftop of my apartment building.” Peter told you as he squeezed your shoulder.

“Let’s go. I’m hungry and it almost smells edible.” You quipped.

Ned watched curiously as you and Peter walked in front of him to Peters apartment. From his perspective, you looked like an actual couple. And with Flash nowhere around to see you faking, he wondered what you were doing it for.

As he heard you laugh loudly at a joke Peter said that couldn’t possibly be as funny as you made it seem, he realized something.

You liked Peter.

“Haha, just kidding”, he thought, “…unless.”

You got to Peters apartment and rode the elevator to the rooftop. Peter laid one of the towels down so you all had a place to sit. You took a seat next to Peter and put your feet in his lap.

“Y/n should have the first bite since it’s her first time.” Ned declared as he unwrapped the sandwich.

“You are going to love this.” Peter grinned as he handed you the sandwich. “Here.”

You took a bite and chewed it slowly. You could taste the mustard, salami, and peanut butter with the first bite. Your face twisted in disgust as you painfully swallowed the sandwich.

“So what do you think?” Ned nudged you.

“I think that’s the grossest thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.” You whispered hoarsely.

“Well you haven’t been dating Peter for that long so-“ Ned began until Peter smacked him.

“Ned!” He scolded and Ned retreated.

“It’s making my eyes waters. Are my ears supposed to be ringing?” You looked at them for answers.

“That would be the jalapeños.” Ned nodded in approval.

“Here. I can’t have this near me. It’s making me hate myself.” You handed it off. Peter took the sandwich and took a bite, wincing as it went down before passing it to Ned.

“This was the last science fair. That technically means this is our last sandwich.” Ned said after he swallowed. Peter realized he was right and felt a sadness settle into his tummy. You noticed Peters face and interlocked your hands.

“It doesn’t have to be.” You piped up. “We could come back and do this every year. On this exact date.”

Peter stopped sulking when he heard your suggestion. You were already planning ahead for your future. And by some miracle, it included Peter.

“I like that idea.” He told you. “I’m not planning on leaving New York. Mr. Stark said I could work for him during and after college so I’ll be around. Where will you be?”

“I’m not sure.” You answered. “Anywhere but here, hopefully. I want to go somewhere where not one person knows me. I just don’t know where that is yet.”

“Well what about that Harvard application on your kitchen table, says your friendly neighborhood stalker?” Peter quipped.

“I don’t know, it’s a long shot.” You shrugged it off. “I probably won’t even apply.”

“I think you should.” Peter encouraged. “They’d be lucky to have you.”

“Maybe.” You smiled softly at him.

“Guys, what does GYHAHN mean? My mom just texted that.” Ned asked in a panic as he looked up from his phone.

“No idea.” Peter shook his head as he rubbed soft circles into your hand with his thumb.

“Get your Hawaiian ass home now.” You translated and got puzzled looks from Ned and Peter. “What? I speak angry mom.”

“How’d you know she meant Hawaiian?” Peter wondered.

“I took an educated guess.” You replied. “Why does she need you home?”

“YGFL?” He read the follow up text out loud.

“You’re grounded for life. Here.” You handed him one of the daises from your bouquet. “Give her this and tell her you were helping Peter carry his giant science fair trophy home.” And tell her you appreciate her waiting.”

“Okay. Me appreciate.” Ned nodded. His face faltered when he realized what he said. “Why does this always happen? Bye guys. And congratulations Peter.”

Ned picked up his bag and did an elaborate handshake with Peter before leaving. You fell into a comfortable silence with Peter following Neds absence.

“I hope you don’t mind that I spared a daisy.” You said as you scooted closer to Peter.

“It’s okay.” He smiled. “Thanks for helping him. I promise he’s cool when he uses full sentences.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it.” You chuckled. “I still like hanging out with you guys. Even if you made me eat that sandwich.”

“Hey, you wanted to come.” He reminded you when you insulted the sandwich. You smiled softly and looked down at your intertwined hands. “Are you really not going to apply to Harvard?”

“I mean, yeah it’s my dream but what if that’s all it is? Just a dream that isn’t supposed to come true.” You shook your head. “As long as I can start over somewhere, I think I’ll be okay.”

“Well I hope you change your mind an apply.” Peter told you.

“Peter?” You said after a beat of silence.

“Yes?”

“Today was the most fun I’ve ever had in high school.” You told him honestly. A grin broke out on his face when he realized the same could be said for him.

“I thought you were a party girl. Are the popular kids really that bad?” He teased you. He thought it would make you laugh, but it caused a sad expression to cloud your face.

“Do you want the truth?” You asked quietly.

“You can tell me.” He leaned forward when he saw how vulnerable you looked.

“It’s like they’re not even people. They’re all just a collage of different personas they put on so people like them. And they need people to like them. It’s like an addiction. And yeah, people like me but, but what if I don’t like me?” Your voice broke as you looked to Peter for answers he didn’t have. “What if they’re following around a leader who isn’t all that great?”

“It doesn’t have to be such a bad thing. They follow you because they like you.” He tried to make you feel better but you shook your head.

“They don’t even know me.” You said in exasperation. “I haven’t been myself for one second in that building. I was too busy trying to please everyone. And for what? Once high school is over and we all get out of here, what will it have been for?”

“I don’t think people are thinking that far ahead. I think they just want to be the center of attention in a given moment.” Peter reasoned.

“But that’s not what I want. I want weird, kinda unsanitary traditions with friends and people to talk to when I’m sad.” You laughed sadly. “I want people who notice when I’m missing. I want- I want…”

“What?” He asked.

“I want to be loved.” You confessed. “You and Ned love each other so much. Any idiot can see that. No one loves me like that.”

“But you have all those friends.” He wondered.

“I have followers.” You corrected him. “I don’t have any friends.”

“As far as I’m concerned, you have two and a half friends.” Peter tilted your chin up so you had to look at him and your eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Half?”

“Ned isn’t a full person yet but he’s so close.” Peter explained and you laughed spritely.

“This is why I can’t wait for college.” You sighed. “I can start over and finally be myself.”

“At Harvard?” He smirked.

“I would never get into Harvard.” You laughed softly.

Peter let go of your face, content that he had made you smile until he remembered something you had said.

“What did you mean before when you said you didn’t like you?” He asked and your smiled faded. You took your hand out of his and picked at your nail polish nervously.

“I know you think it’s hard to be you, but it’s hard to be me too. I wake up every day terrified that people are gonna realize I’m nothing special.” You looked up at him with watery eyes. “Everyone wants something from me and they don’t even know why. And I’m scared that once they really think about it, they’ll realize I’m not good enough. That I’m a fraud. I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“You can breathe with me. It’s okay, daisy.” He pulled you into hug and rubbed your back as you nuzzled into his neck.

“It’s so much pressure. They want me to be this perfect, happy girl but I’m not.” You sniffled. “It’s so hard to look at yourself and not be able to find anything you like. I threw myself into planning the dance but when the planning was done I was left empty. I thought I was going to lose my mind and then…”

“What?” He pulled away a little to look at you.

“I saw Flash picking on you in the hallway.” You smiled. “And I made a split second decision to pretend to be your girlfriend.”

“I knew you didn’t think it through.” He chuckled as you confirmed his suspicion.

“Maybe not, but,” you shrugged, “four years of high school and I finally found someone I actively want to be around. I wish I started pretending to be your girlfriend freshman year. I would’ve been so much happier if I had.”

“Let’s go to that party tonight.” He said suddenly. “The one that girl was talking about. You seem like you need a party.”

“We don’t have to. I know you’re not really a party person.” You scrunched your nose.

“Well I can’t know I’m not a party person until I actually go to a party.” Peter pointed out. You pulled away from Peter and took both his hands in hours.

“Peter Parker, would you be my date to the party?” You proposed.

“Daisy, I’d be honored.”

Tag List 🏷

@a-villain-vying-for-attention @wendaiii @dorbiksbitch @t-monosapiens-h @badhollandfluff @silteplaittais-toi @thisisthebiplace @seasidecrowbar @spideygirl2003 @5-seconds-of-mendes @bitchylittleredhead @oh-whatabeautiful-parker @everydaymj @write-from-the-heart @blackpetalsmeandeath @electraheart-3174 @shawni-h @peterparkoure @sleepythighsweat @steebbb @traveleraroundsworld @averyfosterthoughts @bralessandflawless @viwihere @eridanuswave @the-greatt-perhaps @spidey-lillies

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x popular!reader #peter parker fake dating #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #iron man #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction

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kalimagik · 4 years

Text

Before the After

Harry Potter x Reader

Word Count: ~1,200

Warnings: Death and Angst...lots of angst

A/N: I did post this as an OC a while ago and decided to adapt it to the reader insert format. The entire idea actually came to me in a dream. The whole thing. I watched it as if it was a movie, so it was just so easy to write. It’s pretty short, but there is a lot of angst packed into the mere one thousand words, so I really apologize. But, even though it is sad, I truly love this story. Everything just flowed for me. If you enjoy reading, like, reblog, comment, or even follow! Feel free to send me any constructive criticism or just start a chat with me! Happy reading <3<3

*Not my GIF - credit to owner

“Don’t do anything stupid,” she said as he went to save the Wizarding World. He pulled her into his arms and she kissed him for the last time. Harry was the only thing she had left. The only person that felt like her family and her home. Without him, she would be lost. She’d already lost the rest of her family. She couldn’t lose him too.

Y/N felt weird…she felt light…she felt like…Oh Merlin! Was that her body? Why was she looking at her body from above? Where were these members of the Order taking her? Why were there so many questions in her head?

Y/N floated above, following her body, which was placed on a cot in the destroyed Great Hall. She looked around at the carnage and the bodies. She saw Lavender, a girl in her year who was nice to her for 7 years. Colin Creevey, the sweet little boy who only wanted to fit in. Then she looked and saw Remus and Tonks. Professor Lupin had taught her so much even though he only taught for one year. And they had just had a son! Y/N felt her “breath” hitch in her chest. Then, there was her body laying not too far from a pretty large group.

Whether or not she could, Y/N jumped as she felt another presence near her.

“Y/N?”

Y/N turned to see the perfect shape of a Weasley twin next to her.

“Fred?” she asked, tears coming to her eyes. “Why, why, why can I see you and you see me?”

“You’re like me…dead…” he trailed off.

“Why are we still here though? Why am I watching everything happening?” she asked, now scared.

“I don’t know,” Fred shrugged. “This is my first time dying too,” he chuckled, “but, I think, I think we are getting one last look at our surroundings before we go wherever we go. Look there, my family is starting to show up.”

Fred pointed to the large group not far from Y/N’s body. She could see George’s pain as he knelt over his brother, his best friend. She saw Molly Weasley, one of the best mothers she knew mourning the loss of her son, something no mother should have to do.

Y/N didn’t know if she could cry, but she felt like she should be right now. She couldn’t feel any tears, but maybe that’s how it worked.

“Fred?” she asked timidly.

“Yeah?” he responded, tearing his eyes away from the family surrounding his physical body.

“Have you seen Harry?”

“He hasn’t come in yet. He, he hasn’t seen you…”

Y/N watched the scene below. Feeling sorry for those who were still alive and grieving their friends and family. It didn’t feel right.

“Fred?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you last remember?” Y/N asked, filling the silence of up above.

“I was fighting next to my brother. Percy was my brother again. Then, there was an explosion. It went dark. Then, I guess I did the same thing as you. I saw my body moved behind a suit of armor until I followed it to the Great Hall,” Fred recited as if he had seen it happen a million times over. “What about you?”

“I was in one of the corridors. Ginny wasn’t too far from me. Someone shot a curse in her direction…instinct just kicked in, but I wasn’t fast enough to block the curse. It hit me instead, I guess…” Y/N trailed off.

There was silence for a while.

“It didn’t hurt, you know,” Y/N stated, dryly. Not like she needed to tell Fred that.

“I agree. Everything just…stopped,” Fred said, eyes back on his family.

“Maybe that’s for the best,” Y/N sighed, still feeling as if she should cry.

Silence for a little longer. Y/N drifted off into her memories of good times. Times when she sat with Hermione, Ron, and most importantly, Harry in the Common Room. The nights that Harry would lead her up to the Astronomy tower and they would just watch the stars and he’d hold her close. They were the best times when she was alive. The simplest, but her happiest.

“Y/N/N.” Fred pulled her attention back to the scene below.

Y/N watched as the Great Hall doors opened and her three best friends walked in. Ron immediately ran to his family and Y/N could feel his pain. She didn’t know why, but she could. Then, her eyes went to Harry, who was slowly walking down the row.

She watched him stop in front of Lupin and Tonks. She knew Lupin had been the last connection that Harry had with his parents. Harry looked up and kept walking. He stopped when Hermione hugged him tightly, right before he had gotten to her body. That’s when he saw her. He saw Y/N’s lifeless form on the ground in front of him. Y/N watched as he fell to his knees. The silent tears streaming down his face. She wanted to call out to him from about “I’m here! Harry! I’m still here! I’m okay!”, but she knew she couldn’t. It hurt her. She was dead and it still hurt her.

“Fred?” Y/N asked, holding back a sob.

“Yeah?” he responded on cue.

“Can I go down to him?” she asked, now for the first time feeling as though her face was wet and she was crying real tears.

“Yes, you can. You might not like it though. They can’t hear you and they can’t see you. You’re invisible…”

“But, can I still hug him?” Y/N asked, now distressed.

Fred just nodded as Y/N shot down to the ground, a sensation that she couldn’t explain. She only had one destination in mind.

“Harry, Harry?” she whispered, knowing he couldn’t hear her.

She brought herself around to the front of him, looking at his face.

Tears still streaked his dirty, bloody face. Why was he always covered in blood?

“Harry, I’m here. I’m okay,” she sobbed, still not getting any recognition from the boy she loved.

“I love you, Y/N,” Harry whispered through his tears, “I’ll always love you.”

Y/N felt her heart swell. She loved this boy with all her heart and would never get to tell him. He would never hear it. So, she did all she could. She wrapped her arms, that he couldn’t feel, around him from behind. She rested her head on his hunched over shoulders and she held him one last time while he cried over her lifeless body.

She just hoped that he would be able to feel her presence there.

After wiping his face, Harry stood up. He left the Great Hall and was off to Dumbledore’s office. Y/N returned to Fred.

“Can we go now?” she asked through her heavy gasps.

“Let’s go…” Fred said as he stretched his hand out for hers. Y/N didn’t truly want to go, but she was happy to have Fred with her to make the journey.

Off they went. They went to start their afterlife where they could see others waiting for them above.

Tags:

@teheharrypotter //

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wollymalfoy · 4 years

Text

Jealousy

Blaise Zabini x reader

Description: Blaise flirts with many girls at Hogwarts and you can no longer hold your jealousy in...

Writers note: I enjoyed writing this I hope you all enjoy it! I’ve wanted to write something with Blaise since there’s not a lot of fics on him and I think he’s v underrated so yeahhh

The common room was booming with sound as the Slytherins celebrated their win against Ravenclaw. You sat legs up to your chest on the couch next to your best friend Gregory Goyle. You and Goyle had been friends since a very young age, your mothers were best friends so the two of you had a lot of play dates. You was the only one to know what Goyle was really like, to others he just seemed like a stupid oaf but to you he was everything but that. Both of you spoke about the match as he devoured an assortment of sweets, ‘that last goal was very impressive’ he said spitting bits of food on to the floor in front of him, ‘yeah it really was! And don’t tell Draco this but I really didn’t think he was gonna get the snitch’ you giggled. Goyle began to reply but your focus was else where, On Blaise Zabini. Surprise, surprise he was flirting with a Slytherin girl. one arm rested on the wall and the other traveled to moved a peice of hair behind the girls ear. Your heart began to beat so hard you thought it would break through your rib cage. You looked away, staring at the floor. Goyle noticed this and asked if you was okay but you couldn’t reply. Him asking this simple question made tears push their way out. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he asked softly dropping his sweets to place a hand on your shoulder. You nodded, you could tell Goyle anything and you knew he wouldn’t judge you so you had no issue In telling him. ‘Let’s go somewhere quieter then’ he said standing up and holding out his large hand. He led you out of the Slytherin common room and you both began to wander the halls. You didn’t need to worry about being caught because it was only 8pm. After a moment of silence you began to explain the reason for your sudden change in emotions ‘I hate seeing Blaise flirt with other girls, it makes me so mad!’ You said putting emphasis on the word mad. ‘Maybe you should tell him how you feel, Y/N’ he asked still looking forward. ‘I can’t! What if he doesn’t feel the same, I would of just made a fool of myself’. ‘But what if he does, you’ll never know unless you ask’ he said stopping to turn to you. ‘Listen, I hate seeing you upset just tell him and I’ll be right here if he doesn’t feel the same’. You had tears in you eyes as you listened to your best friend, he did have a point. ‘Thanks Goyle’ you said sniffling and he brought you into a hug.

The next morning you went down for breakfast and saw all your friends where already there. Goyle waved as you walked over and you smiled widely at him. ‘Good morning everyone’ you said sweetly, everyone replied brightly except Draco who was writing on a piece of parchment clearly puzzled. ‘Oh sorry Y/N, good morning’ he said looking up at you and smiled, this smile was very small but was sincere. ‘Where did you go last night Y/N?’ Blaise questioned taking a bit of toast. ‘Oh I umm, went for a walk’ you said not looking at him. ‘Didn’t like the party huh?’ He laughed. You ignored this and began eating your breakfast.

Care of magical creatures was usually your favourite lesson, however today’s lesson was ruined by the same thing that ruined your mood last night. Blaise sat smirking at a girl as she played with the collar of his shirt. Enraged and without a second thought you waved your wand and hair began sprouting from the girls face. The girl gasped and her hands clutched at her face as a way to conceal the hair. Blaise looked puzzled as he watched the girl run from the class. This hair grew very rapidly and before she’d even taken a few steps away from the class the hair was down to her knees. You smirked to yourself and turned to see Draco and Goyle staring at you. Your smile dropped, they had seen you do the spell but to your amazement they smirked and gave you high fives.

You, Goyle, Crabbe and Draco walked into the common room, you listened as they laughed about how they’d just been teasing Colin Creevey. You rolled your eyes, you didn’t approve of them teasing student but whenever you said this they seemed to shrug it off and continue their teasing so now you had just given up trying to reform the three boys. You all sat on opposite couches, you and Goyle on one and Draco and Crabbe on the other. ‘You boys are cruel there was no need to smash his camera’ you said shaking your head. ‘I know but it was awfully funny’ Draco said laughing and looking at the other two boys for a reaction and they began to laughed in unison. ‘I don’t th-‘ you stopped what you was saying as you looked over to the fire where Blaise was sat with arm wrapped around a different girl. Your heart raced again, your breathing began to increase in speed and power and you clenched your hands in a tight fist. I’ve had enough you thought, I’m sick of him being a huge man whore! Blaise then moved closer and placed a kiss on the girls cheek. This ignited a flame in you and the next few seconds where all in slow motion. You stood up and grabbed at your wand, pointing at the girl ‘STUPEFY!’ You yelled and tried to run toward the girl. Goyle stood up and grabbed you preventing you from doing any more damage. Blaise stared at you in shock. Oh no you though, now he’s going to think I’m a lunatic. Goyle let you go but you didn’t move, you stood and stared at Blaise, frozen. You turned and ran to your bedroom, tears flowing from your eyes. Why can’t I handle my anger? you though.

You didn’t remember falling asleep but the room was dark and your roommates were fast asleep. You lay in bed repeating the scene from earlier in your head over and over again. You came to terms with the fact that you wasn’t going to sleep again, you couldn’t, too many thoughts swam through your mind. You decided you should go get some warmth by the fire so you crept down to the common room. It was empty and dark the only light in the room came from the fire. You sat down and sighed loudly raking your fingers through your hair. ‘You okay?’ You heard a deep raspy voice say and your head whipped around to see who it was. It was Blaise. He stood there in his silk pyjamas gaping at you. You stared into his eyes searching for any emotion on his face but you couldn’t detect any. ‘I couldn’t sleep’ he said changing the subject due to you ignoring his question and made his way towards where you was next to the fire. You nodded and turned to stare into the fire. ‘I’m guessing that’s why you’re here too’ he said as he slid down to sit next to you. You still didn’t say anything. ‘Listen about before-‘ ‘I like you’ you spat out quickly like it was going to be the last thing you would ever say. You wasn’t sure why it came out but you had said it now and there was no turning back. He couldn’t even respond since you began to speak again ‘I don’t know if you feel the same, what am I kidding you clearly don’t feel the same, you’ve always got some girl by your side’ you said shaking your head tears making another appearance. ‘You don’t even need to say anything, just go if you don’t feel the same’ but he didn’t move he grabbed your face and kissed you, it was soft and you melted into his touch. The kiss felt like It lasted for hours even though it was only a matter of seconds. He moved away and looked into your eyes ‘I do feel the same, Y/N, I’ve liked you for years I was just scared of telling you’ he said looking down. ‘But why did you always flirt with girls if you liked me?’ You asked and your voice cracked, god damn it you though to yourself what a way to ruin the moment. ‘I was too scared to tell you so I just distracted myself, none of those girls mean anything to me’ he admitted grabbing you hand, ‘I like you Y/N Y/L/N’ he smiled at you as he said this. These words made your face flush with heat Blaise noticed and he moved his hand to caress your cheek. ‘So, will you be my GF/BF?’ ‘Of course!’ You practically jumped at him and gave him a passionate kiss. ‘Now don’t go attacking anyone else’ he joked as the kiss ended.

#blaise x reader #blaise zabini fluff #goyle #crabbe and goyle #goyle x reader #blaise zabini oneshot

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sillypuppetsposts · 2 years

Note

Henlo! May I ask a Colin x overthinker!Reader? Thank you sm <333 ALSO you're doing gods work, og teachers are getting love!!!

COLIN WITH A S/O WHO OVERTHINKS !

a/n ;; FIRST COLIN REQUEST EVERYONE CELEBRATE RN. anyways yes!! fr you guys are at my feet praying to me at the sight of seeing og teacher content 😇😇

he always is trying to reassure you

like he’ll be like, “according to my statistics, everything is going to be ok!! trust me i’m a computery guy s/o!!

And i can see why you overthink,

your in the fucking dhmis universe

like if my life was like that i would just jump off a cliff

whenever your overthinking starts to take a toll on your mental health, he’s always open

therapist colin arc (real)

he even lets you touch him

not too much but is always holding your hand or giving you a quick hug

my fav malewife

if someone says something that triggers your overthinking

he will pummel them to the oblivion

don’t test him

he’s poked someone in the eye with his pointer

rip bozo

#🍰.txt #dhmis #don’t hug me i’m scared #colin the computer #dhmis colin #colin dhmis #dhmis x reader #don’t hug me i’m scared x reader #colin x reader

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 5 years

Text

A Place To Call Home: Christmas Vacation

Summary: The Pads have some news that may end up changing the family. When the reader discovers how it all came about though, she has some words for her father and soon, for her new friend, Cody…

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Square: Christmas

Word Count: 17,500ish

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

A/N #1: I know I said I wouldn’t be doing more but here’s a little (okay, big) present for you guys! This part takes place right before and right after the very end of the Home timestamp...

A/N #2: Written for @spngenrebingo

_______

“Hey, Jared,” you said, popping your head into the office. He gave you a smile from the couch as you followed the doctor inside and took a seat beside him.

“Nice to see you again, Y/N. It’s been quite awhile since you joined Jared for a session,” said the doctor, Michael was his name you thought.

“Yeah. Uncle Jared and I talk a lot outside of therapy nowadays,” you said.

“Jared’s told me so. I encourage you both to continue to do so. We’ve both recognized changes in him since you’ve started to regularly open up to one another,” he said.

You turned your head, Jared shrugging. Sure, he seemed happier than when you first met him years ago but he didn’t bury himself with work and travel all the time now. He was home more and enjoying life. You felt like all you did was complain about this or that or the next thing to him.

“But Jared wanted to discuss something that he felt might need a moderator,” said Michael. “I understand you’ve spoken to Y/N’s parents about this as well?”

“Yeah,” said Jared, turning to you with a smile. “Yeah, I’ve...talked to your parents about this, kiddo. Gen knows too for obvious reasons but...we talked to them and I’d like your perspective on something if that’s okay.”

“Always,” you said. “What’s up?”

“So…” he said, biting his bottom lip. “Gen and I, we’re considering...adopting a boy.”

“Really?” you asked, a smile growing on your face. “That’s…”

You bit your lip to match his, smiling as you stared at your lap.

“I see why you thought a moderator might be helpful,” joked Michael. “Y/N do you want to say anything about that?”

“I’m so proud of you to even consider it,” you said, grinning when you caught the instant smile on his face. “Sorry, I know that sounds weird but like I’m proud of you? And you’re an unbelievable dad and any kid would be lucky to have you be their dad, to have you and Gen both.”

“Thanks, kiddo,” he said, glancing at Michael. “We...he’s actually not that much younger than you actually. He’s twenty three, he’s a police officer, just started.”

“Oh,” you said, still smiling. “I...I suppose I’m slightly confused how you guys met but...I think if you want to adopt him that’s awesome.”

“I think I’ve heard it from you enough to know that it doesn’t matter how old you get,” he said.

“You still want a family,” you said. “I’m really happy for you Uncle Jared.”

“I guess we know what it’s like to have that instant click with a kid,” he said.

“How’d you meet him? If that’s okay?” you asked. Jared tilted his head.

“Your dad really didn’t tell you?”

Two Hours Later

“Jensen!” you shouted when you walked into their house, JJ wide eyed as she spun back around in the kitchen. “Where. Is. He.”

“Backyard with your children?” she asked. “Uh, you look pissed.”

“I-” you started, your mom walking out of the bedroom with a soft smile. “What-”

“Been a long time since you called dad that,” she said.

“Instinct of rage,” you said, blinking slowly. “I need to talk to him. Now.”

“Swing set with the babes,” she said. You took off towards the back porch, grabbing JJ’s wrist along the way. “JJ, please make sure she doesn’t murder your father.”

“Dad’s on his own with this,” she said. You went outside with her, your dad all smiles as he pushed Allie on the swing gently, Colin settled on his hip.

“Hey guys, mommy’s home!” he said, Allie hopped off and ran over to you, her hug and smile making you forget your anger for a moment.

Colin smiled and reached out for you. Your dad knew you were mad but he also knew handing the kids off got him a chance to get out of there.

“Hi baby boy,” you said, giving him a kiss as your dad took off.

“JJ, get him,” you said. Your dad stared at her and then cocked his head at you.

“Really?” he said. “She’s not as scary as you.”

“Hey!” she said, walking up behind him, yelping when he threw her over his shoulder. “Dad!”

“Oh that was way too easy. You’re taking that same defense class your mom and sister took little lady,” he said.

“Dad,” you said, bending down to scoop up Allie, giving her a hug. “We’re talking later.”

“Yeah, sure thing, tall munchkin.”

You got the kids back home for their normal evening routine before they were in bed. TJ was playing some video games when you left him, nearly getting you to stay home when he came up with an interesting bet for a race but you needed to talk to your dad and you wanted to do it three hours ago.

You walked around the street corner and were walking in the front door within three minutes, Zeppelin wolfing down a bag of Cheetos in the kitchen like he’d never seen food before.

“How’s the start of puberty going?” you asked with a smirk.

“I’m hungry like all the freaking time,” he said, wiping off his hands. “And washing your face everyday sucks and the whole thing is just bad. If I’m anything like dad, I won’t even get tall for like five years.”

“At least you’re not poor Arrow,” you said.

“I know. She told me she had her first period last month,” he said. You stared at him, pursing your lips. “Am I not supposed to know that?”

“No. I mean, she can tell whoever she wants. Obviously don’t tell other people. It’s just sweet to see you two are just as close as ever,” you said.

“Apparently it feels like dying,” he said.

“It does...and then you have a child and then you actually know what it feels like to be dying and then you go back to having a period which is just awesome,” you said with a laugh. “Sorry. Too much info.”

“No, it’s cool,” he said. “It’s nice having an older sister to talk to about stuff.”

“Puberty?” you said, Zeppelin nodding, a question on his face. You nodded and you followed him upstairs to his room, letting you shut the door. “Zepp, you know you can always talk to dad and mom about this stuff. Growing up is weird. I mean, mom gave JJ and Arrow this book they have for girls that teaches you about your body. I don’t know if there’s a book out there like that for boys but you can always ask dad or call up TJ or Uncle Jared. There’s people around to talk to.”

“Can I ask you like...stuff,” he said.

“Sure. I won’t tell mom or dad, you know that,” you said.

“Is it weird that...in the morning stuff down there is starting to like...” he asked.

“No,” you said with a laugh. “No, dude. That’s perfectly normal for boys. It’s gonna stick around for a while so get used to it.”

“How do you get it to go away?” he asked.

“Hi guys,” said your dad, poking his head in the room thankfully. “What are you two up to behind closed doors?”

“Well you can either deal with me or tell Zepp how to get rid of his morning...surprise,” you said. He shut his eyes and put his hands over his ears, quickly grabbing your arm and leading you out. “You’re weak.”

“Nope. Nope. Nope,” said your dad, pulling you down the hall. “He’s eleven and you’re still my sweet innocent baby boy aren’t you, Zeppy. Never change, buddy.”

“Don’t avoid the conversation,” you said, following him down the stairs and onto the back porch.

“Oh, I’ll avoid it as long as I can,” he said.

“Zepp or me?”

“I’m not going to discuss your brother’s...we had a little talk after they got that one at school. Maybe I forgot to mention morning wood and that the same way you get it to go up is how it goes down but I’m sure the kid will figure it out in a few years,” he said. “Many, many years.”

“Dad,” you said. “You’ve been avoiding me all afternoon.”

“You seem...angry. It seemed like the smart move,” he said.

“Do we run away from our problems?” you said.

“I ain’t five, kiddo,” he said.

“Then maybe you’ll tell me what the Ackles-Hanover Adoption program is,” you said. You stared at him, a flicker of concern on his face that started to grow. “Dad.”

“I...it was supposed to be a surprise,” he said.

“You made a charity, with my name on it,” you said. “One hell of a surprise.”

“I...Jared said he explained what it does. I don’t understand why you’re upset,” he said softly.

“You don’t understand why I’m upset?” you asked. “Seriously?”

“It’s meant to help kids and young adults that age out of foster care find parents and get adopted, even if they’re an adult. You don’t stop wanting a family that won’t throw you away,” he said.

“I understand the point of your charity,” you said, standing up and crossing your arms, staring out the screen porch to the dark yard. “You just...you don’t understand. I thought you did but you don’t.”

“Kiddo,” he said, standing up, giving you a hug from behind. You shrugged him off, glaring at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” said your mom, stepping onto the porch, pointing a finger at you. “You’re not a child. Don’t act like one.”

“You don’t even know what we were talking about,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Your father is having a bad day. Cut the shit,” she said, heading back inside. You looked over at him. He wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Was it...cause of-”

“No. It was this morning. Really, it’s fine,” he said.

“We can talk about the charity thing tomorrow,” you said.

“Okay.”

“Do you want to go play Mario Kart?” you asked. He smiled, giving you a light nod. “After you tell me what happened.”

“Y/N, nothing-”

“Mom’s never acted like that which means it scared her,” you said.

“Don’t tell your siblings,” he said with a sigh.

“Are you sick?” you swallowed.

“No, kiddo. There was a name mix up on some test results this morning was all. I am perfectly one hundred percent okay,” he said.

“But you thought you were sick?”

“For like an hour,” he said with a smile.

“How sick?”

“It doesn’t-”

“If you do ever get sick, you call me,” you said. “Don’t keep it from me.”

“Sort of my call kiddo,” he smiled.

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “No. It’s not. You tell me. Promise.”

“I’m okay. I promise. Allie and Colin cheered me up so much when I was still bouncing back so you still helped me out today,” he said.

“I’m sorry I came in like that, acting like a brat,” you said, rubbing your arm.

“Brat’s are spoiled children. You’ve never been one of those,” he said. “Come on, let’s go kick the twins asses in a team race.”

“I’m home,” you said, sighing as you wandered into your bedroom, ditching your clothes by the laundry basket and tugging on one of TJ’s shirts. He was reading in bed, glancing over the top of his book when you crawled in beside him.

“You talk with your dad about whatever it is you won’t talk about?” he asked, flipping a page.

“TJ,” you said, eyes flicking up to meet his.

“That’s a no,” he said, setting the book down and turning off the light. He shifted down the bed, tucking you into his chest. “You’ve been jittery and pissed and more jittery ever since you got home from Jared’s session. Did he say something?”

“He told me something my dad is doing,” you said, closing your eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Sweetie.”

“Mhm?” you hummed.

“You should talk to Jensen,” he said.

“I don’t want to get in a fight,” you said.

“You’re gonna sleep like shit and I can already see whatever this is festering in your head. Deal with it, honey,” he said.

“Well I’m not getting dressed,” you said. He rolled over and grabbed his phone, turning back a moment later.

“He’ll be here in a minute,” he said.

“Had to marry a sweet boy, didn’t I,” you grumbled, rolling out of bed and pulling on some shorts, TJ smiling as you went out to the family room.

“Hey,” said your dad three minutes later sporting his own pajamas, popping in through the front door and kicking off his sneakers. “TJ said you needed to talk to me.”

“Please sit down,” you said. He took a seat in his normal spot on the couch, watching you walk around and settle in the other corner. “I’m sorry for earlier, saying you didn’t understand.”

“That’s okay, honey,” he said. “I probably don’t. I don’t understand why you’re upset so you probably have a point.”

“Dad,” you said, both your heads turning when you saw Allie stop on the landing of the stairs. “What’s up, alligator? You should be sleeping and not on the stairs.”

“I wet the bed,” she said, blushing when she saw your dad there.

“S’okay, sweetie,” you said as you stood up. “I’ll be back in five.”

“Take your time,” he said. You went back upstairs with Allie and got her in a fresh diaper and pajamas and put new sheets on the bed, still ever grateful to your mom for the advice on the mattress protector.

“Okay, you’re all set now,” you said, tucking her back in bed, giving her a kiss as you turned off her light.

“Mommy?”

“Yeah?” you asked.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you, gorgeous,” you said, giving her another hug and round of kisses. “Get some sleep.”

She was conked out by the time you were pulling the door shut, your dad stretched out on the couch and staring at the ceiling when you got back.

“Sorry about that,” you said.

“She’s not in diapers at night?” he asked.

“She’s barely two, dad,” you said. “Of course she’s still in diapers.”

“When did you get so old?” he said, turning his head with a smile.

“First off, 26 dude. Second, you look at me sometimes like I’m a little girl you know,” you said.

“Cause you’re my first baby girl. A part of me will always think that,” he said as he sat up, watching you settle back in your spot. “If the charity...we can pull the plug on it if you want. I don’t want it to upset you.”

“You all see all the good that could come from something like that. I get it. I see it too. You have an excellent point about people still wanting families after aging out of the system. I think it’s very noble in that way.”

“But,” he said.

“But I see all the ways it can go wrong and there are so, so many ways it can go wrong, dad. These people...they got issues. You know first hand what it’s like. I just see the ways they can get hurt and these people already hurt. You get one person doing it for the wrong reasons-”

“I know. We’ve talked about all that. But there’s a difference between this charity and foster care. The adults, they can walk away. It’s not like when you were a kid and got in a bad home and were stuck. These people can walk away and even then, it’ll never be like that. All families looking to adopt will be screened. This isn’t a small thing, kiddo. It’s...it’s been in the works a few years,” he said.

“Years,” you said, closing your eyes. “I shouldn’t be surprised anymore but you continue to do so.”

“That first year was the scariest. That first month was the scariest, when you first came to us. I remember,” he said.

“Even adopting Allie and being a mom to her and Colin, that’s scary but it’s not the same,” you said, peeling open your eyes. “At least with that it’s me and TJ and we got our family behind us.”

“Do you think you would have wound up with TJ if you’d just, aged out of the system?” asked your dad. “Like if you went to school together still?”

“I don’t think so,” you said, leaning back and tucking your legs in to your chest.

“Why not?”

“I was too broken before,” you said quietly, glancing at your toes. “A lot got fixed before I met him. I think he would have taken one look at me and thought-”

“I’m gonna marry that girl someday,” you heard, your gaze going up, TJ leaning against the wall, giving you a sad smile. “I brought you over here to kiss and make up, not make her feel worse, Jensen.”

“The point I was trying to make, dofus, was that you have loved her from day one,” said your dad with a smirk back at TJ. “And that she was the one that asked you out. She was the one that kept herself doing well in school. She’s the one that never let boys take advantage of her. She’s the one that told me five minutes of moving in exactly what she needed from me, even if she didn’t know it. You’ve always done the hard and scary thing, kiddo. There’s a lot of other kids like you out there. They just want someone to call on a bad day, some place to go have Sunday dinner, people that are theirs. It’s going to be scary for them too. But you know what it’s like to be on the other side of it now. I think you’d do it again if you knew what the end result was going to be.”

“Yeah, I’d do it all in a heartbeat,” you said.

“Mom and I just want to help the kids that didn’t get picked. None of those kids got thrown away. They just haven’t found their right family yet,” he said.

“Seriously though, you like, work for hallmark on the side and just don’t tell anyone, right?” said TJ.

“TJ’s the one that ate the last of your mint ice cream,” he said with a smile as he hopped up, TJ’s face falling.

“You’re dead to me, Ackles,” he said.

“Oh, it’s adorable when he’s all angry,” said your dad, pinching his cheek as he went past.

“You’re a dickhead,” he said.

“Well I’ve known that for years,” he laughed as he pulled on his shoes. “We okay now, sweetie?”

“Yeah,” you said with a nod, getting up and wrapping your arms around TJ. “If...if even just one person gets something out of it, then that’s okay with me.”

“It’ll be a while before it goes public but the few test cases are working out so far. One of the sets of parents are even starting adoption which for an adult, is way quicker,” he said.

“Jared said he and Gen…” you trailed off.

“They’re one of the test cases. A newer one but they’ve been hanging out with Cody. He’s...he’s very much like you, Y/N. The Pads are inviting him to come up to the vacation house with everyone for our trip in a few weeks. I think maybe you two should talk, tell him about the brighter side of life,” he said.

“When’d he go in?” you asked.

“You can ask him yourself in a few weeks,” he said, giving you both a hug. “Night guys.”

Three Weeks Later

“Oh my God,” you groaned, dropping another bag out of the trunk of the car, tilting your head back, quickly turning it into a smile when you saw Colin on JJ’s hip. “Well hey there big man. Look at you being a cutie with Aunt JJ.”

“Afh,” he giggled, rubbing his hands over JJ’s face.

“Come on, buddy,” said JJ, as she walked past with a backpack on her shoulders. “Let’s find you some milk.”

“His bottles should be in-”

“The green bag. I’ve babysat my nephew enough, sis,” she laughed. “Come on, Colin before you get eaten by a bear.”

“There better be no bears here,” you grumbled.

“Nope, just coyotes,” said Jared with a smirk as he came up behind you.

“Seriously? Thank you for easing my concerns with my toddler and infant,” you said, getting a hug from him and the rest of the crew, Tom already off looking for JJ. Your gaze went to the guy a little older and hanging back some, Gen pulling an arm around him and moving him forward.

“Cody, this is Y/N,” she said.

“She’s Ackles oldest. Y/N’s husband TJ’s around here with their other kiddo somewhere I’m sure,” said Jared.

He nodded and you returned it, a little tension running out of his shoulders.

“So, uh, let’s introduce you to everybody, hm?”

“I’m glad we bought this place,” said your mom, taking Colin off your lap after a later dinner, a small rainstorm keeping everyone inside for the night. “Even if it is a bit outdated.”

“I’m sure we’ll get our use out of it over the years,” said TJ with a smile.

“Well I think the kids having their own room is nice. Gives the little one’s a quiet place to sleep,” said your dad, Allie passed out on his hip, her head on his shoulder. “Speaking of which, let’s go put the pups to bed, grandma.”

“Remember what I did to you last time you called me, Grandma, Jensen,” she said with a smirk.

“Oh. I remember. I’m hoping you do it again. Grandma,” he said, giving her a wink. You rolled your eyes as they left, your dad leaning down quickly. “Hey. Why don’t you guys see if you can get Cody to come out of his room. He’s been holed up in there since dinner.”

“We will. Night dad,” you said.

“Night,” they said as they took off. You gave TJ a smile as you stood and headed for one of the downstairs bedrooms, a small room but the bed was comfy and there was a private bath with it. You knocked once and pushed it open, Cody, laying in bed with his computer.

“Hey,” you said.

“Hey.”

“The old people are in bed and the pre-teens are off watching a movie up in the loft if you want to hang out with me and TJ,” you said.

“Thanks but I’m kind of tired,” he said. You nodded, shutting the door behind you. He watched you carefully as you sat down on the end of the bed.

“Isn’t the whole point of this program so you can be with your family? Get to know them, see if they’re a good fit for you?” you asked.

“I wasn’t thinking when my old case worker called me up and told me about it,” he said. “I don’t really care about these rich people or you so you can leave now.”

“Jared and Gen, they tell you anything about me,” you asked.

“Yeah. You’re the adopted girl,” he said, glancing over the screen.

“I was in the system for nearly eight years, Cody. Cut the shit,” you said.

“Been in since I was five, aged out. Looks like I win the sad sap award,” he said. You shut his computer, Cody narrowing his eyes at you. “How many homes?”

“14. You?”

“17. Winner again. Leave me alone.”

“Wow. You really are just like me,” you said.

“Uh no, you and me aren’t the same, princess,” he said.

“I ain’t a princess, jerk,” you said. “You’re not in foster care anymore so stop the games.”

“Oh, because I’m sure you were adopted for you,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You sure those two kids out there are even the other guys? Or are they new daddy’s little-”

“You can shut the fuck up. That is not how people in this family talk to each other and for the record, asshole, I adopted my daughter after some other assholes left her in a box to die. She’s lucky my husband and I even found her. I am close with my father because he is my father and he’s helped me stop being an asshole like you and he’s shown me how to be a good person. That’s who we are. You don’t want a family, fine. There’s the fucking door,” you said, leaving and slamming his shut.

You were fuming by the time you got to the end of the hallway, hands in fists, your dad poking his head over the upstairs balcony.

“What was that?” he asked.

“That kid’s got a mouth on him,” you grumbled.

“Go get an apology then,” he said. “He’s not a child after all.”

“Yeah, that’ll go great,” you said. You sighed and went back down the hall, Cody missing from his room.

You went back to the living room, TJ watching the start of a movie.

“He ducked outside. I think he’s on the covered porch,” he said. You nodded, going past and out the back door, Cody sitting in a chair with his arms crossed, staring at the dark woods.

“I found the door,” he said, not bothering to look up. “I’ll be gone in the morning, don’t worry about it.”

“What’s the rule, Cody? The unspoken rule we have in foster care as the older kids.”

“Take care of the younger ones,” he said quietly.

“So you gonna let me take care of you or are you going to say something mean again because you’re scared?” you asked. “I know it’s an act. I’ve done it all so you want to pretend with everybody else, okay, but don’t do it to me. I know the difference.”

“Could you leave me alone?” he said. “You’re so freaking annoying.”

“Oh. You hurt my feelings there tough guy,” you deadpanned. “You ain’t getting out of this conversation.”

“I bet new daddy sent you out here huh,” he said.

“Well my new daddy sure is a hell of a lot better at knowing what to say than I am,” you mumbled, crossing your arms as you sat down in a chair.

“This was a mistake,” he grumbled to himself.

“No, it’s not. You’re just scared and you want to runaway because you think you don’t fit in,” you said.

“Can you please be quiet for one minute?” he said.

You kicked your legs out in front of you, watching the rain fall and Cody debating getting up beside you.

“Do you remember them? Your parents?” you asked.

“Raised by grandparents. Mom didn’t want me and was dead by the time I was three anyways,” he said. “Never met my dad.”

“Jared’s a good dad. Gen’s a good mom too. There’s benefits to having younger parents,” you said.

“Like what?”

“Like you get two parents but you get two friends too...eventually,” you said, pursing your lip.

“I already got friends,” he said, turning his head. “I only did this as a favor for my case worker.”

“Back to the lying already?” you teased, slouching down in your seat. “Do yourself a favor, Cody. Give the Pads, give all of us, a sliver of trust. It’ll help.”

“I’m the rich people’s charity case,” he mumbled. “Princess.”

“Yeah, maybe I am quite a bit better off than most 26 year olds. I got a nice house, a new car, no student loan. I go on nice vacations with my family. Maybe I am the spoiled princess you think I am. And I would throw all of those things away in a heartbeat. It’s stuff, it doesn’t matter. The point of this house is for the people in it to have a good time and be a family and make memories. Sure, some rich people are stuck up snobs and sure, none of these guys, none of us kids, will ever have to worry about money. But they’re the kind of people that want you to text them that you got home safe. They will go to the end of the earth for you. They’re good.”

“Like I said, I ain’t drinking the kool aid they’ve been handing out,” said Cody.

“Okay,” you said. “Just saying is all.”

“Just saying what?”

“Just saying I don’t want to know what five more years of feeling alone would have done to me,” you said, turning your head to him. “A bit of advice though, Cody. Don’t ever say something like what you did to me before in front of my father, or Jared or anyone else here. You need someone to be the punching bag, okay. I can take it. Pretend with me so you can be the real you with them, alright?”

“Remember what I said about friends? Well you’re not one of them so leave me alone,” he said. He stood up and left and you saw a flashlight in the yard after a moment, quickly disappearing.

You sighed as you went inside, heading for the coat rack when TJ cocked his head.

“You want me to come?” he asked.

“No. This is something we need to figure out,” you said, zipping up your jacket.

“He doesn’t have the right to be mean to you,” he said.

“No. But he is allowed to be scared,” you said. “People mix those two up sometimes.”

“Don’t get lost. Or hurt,” he said.

“I won’t. Don’t stay up for me if I’m gone awhile, okay?”

“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen,” he said, smiling as you leaned over the couch to give him a kiss. “Go bring him back home.”

“I love you,” you smiled, kissing his cheek before you pulled on your boots and were out the door.

You walked around to the trail, rain coming down steady but it wasn’t freezing thankfully. You followed it until you got to the path to the lake and turned down there, smirking when you saw Cody sitting under the covered decking.

“Hey,” you said, Cody rolling his eyes at you. “Nice to see you too.”

“For fucks sake. What part of-“

“Contrary to what you may have experienced, people aren’t supposed to treat their kids like trash. They aren’t supposed to be cruel. You’re not supposed to be afraid of a hug. It’ll take time to unlearn all that crap. I’m nearly ten years into this Cody. I have lived almost more of my life with these people than with my birth parents. I tried to runaway when I got here. My seventeenth birthday I tried to run away. I tried to push them away. I wanted nothing to do with them. They wouldn’t let me give up and I’m not going to let you walk away because this is hard. It’s fucking hard and terrifying and it’s nothing any of them can understand properly. But I know you want this so I’m not going to let you just get through this vacation so you can run away when we all go home. It’s not happening.”

“Why do you even care?” he asked.

“Cause you’re my family.”

“The Padalecki’s aren’t even related to you,” he said.

“You don’t need to be related to someone for them to be your family. Trust me,” you said. “Just one thing, just tell me one thing that’s scaring you so I can try to help.”

He was quiet and looked out at the lake, his back to you for a few minutes.

“Sometimes I still feel like I'm a terrified five year old,” he said. You stepped beside him and nodded. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

“I get that,” you said quietly. “I used to be like that. Sometimes on bad days it creeps back in even.”

“How’d you not be like that?”

“Hey,” you heard behind you. You both spun around, Jared in a raincoat and sporting a concerned smile. “Everything okay?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, looking back to Cody. “Simple answer? They kind of beat me over the head with their love until I realized I was worth it. They’ll keep doing it, even on the bad days.”

“How…” he trailed off as you walked past Jared.

“I had a talk with my dad on a rainy night once,” you said with a smile. “You just got to be brave enough to believe what they say.”

Cody nodded, Jared giving you one of his own before he walked down towards Cody.

“Careful on your way up to the house, Y/N,” he said.

“I know. I’ll see you guys at breakfast.”

One Month Later

“Mam’,” you heard as you spun around at the bar. You smiled when you saw Cody in his uniform, another older officer with him.

“Hi. The ambulance just took away the guy with heat stroke. I think he was gonna be okay though,” you said.

“Hot day out,” said the other officer.

“You guys want a beer?” you said. “We got water if you’re on duty.”

“I would take a cold bottle of water if you’ve got one,” said the officer. You smiled and dug back into the cooler, pulling two out.

“On the house,” you said, handing one out to each of them. Cody nodded, the officer glancing back and forth between you.

“You two know each other or something?” he asked.

“Y/N’s that other ex foster kid I told you about,” he said quietly.

“Really? Glad Cody here has someone his own age to talk to about that sort of thing. Sometimes I get the feeling I don’t get told everything which is silly considering we’re partners,” he said.

“We should get back on patrol,” said Cody.

“Hey we’re due for our lunch break. Let’s grab a bite at that food truck outside,” he said. Cody sighed and followed him out, one of the summer hires taking over for you as you followed after them.

“What?” asked Cody, his partner already off and in line.

“I haven’t seen you around since vacation. You kind of kept your distance,” you said.

“I told you. I don’t like you,” he said.

“Oh,” you said. “Uh, sorry.”

“Just forget about it,” he said, waving you off as he got in line. You went back inside and to the back of the brewery, trying to work on a few things in the office before you were over at the bags of hops and unloading them from a pallet.

“Well that’s never a good sign,” you heard. You stood up and spun around, your dad jogging over to give you a hug. “Hello tall munchkin. I love you.”

“Hi,” you said, going back to work when he released you.

“You only do this when you’re upset you know,” he said. “You and TJ have a fight?”

“No.”

“Something to do with work?”

“No.”

“Bad day?”

“No.”

“Do you know how to say anything besides no?”

“Dad,” you groaned.

“Come on, take your lunch break,” he said, grabbing your wrist. You went out to the back patio area for employees, your dad taking off towards his truck and returning after a moment with a pair of sandwiches from the store down the street.

“Thanks,” you said, eating quietly, sharing a bag of chips with him. He frowned when you only ate half though and wrapped up the rest for later. “Dad.”

“You barely ate anything and TJ says you aren’t eating as much as normal,” he said.

“Why the fuck do you two talk about that?” you snapped.

“Because it’s one of the obvious signs that something is going on with you. You’ve been funny since vacation. Quiet and sad and it’s got more than just me and TJ concerned,” he said. “You don’t need to ration food and you know it.”

“I’m not hungry,” you said.

“Are you sick?” he asked as he placed a hand on your forehead.

“I’m not sick,” you said, his hand touching your cheek and neck before you stood up and walked away. “I have to get back to work.”

“That was ten minutes and last I checked our employees get hour lunches,” he said.

“Well I got shit to do,” you said as you stormed away.

“Y/N,” he said loudly, freezing you in place. You felt a hand run up and down your back, settling between your shoulder blades and rubbing in place there. “What happened with Cody? Did he say something or do something to you? You can tell us. You can just tell mom if you want. Just talk to someone, honey.”

“I screwed up,” you said shakily. “I didn’t talk to him right and he doesn’t like me and I tried to tell him this is a good family and I think all I did was push him away from it.”

“S’not your job to do that,” he said.

“You made me feel so at home though and loved and I screwed it up so wrong and how much am I screwing up Allie and Colin and everything else,” you said as you spun around. He tilted his head and gave you a sad smile, pulling you into a hug.

“You are a wonderful mother, honey. You love those two so much and I know they healed things in you the rest of us couldn’t touch. You are better than so many other parents out there,” he said. “You and TJ always put your kids first.”

“But I screwed up,” you said.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did,” you said. You took a step back from him, pursing your lips. “I just want space, dad. Just give me some space.”

“Okay. Whatever you need to get your head on straight.”

“Hey, Jared,” you said, popping your head up when you saw him walk into your house the next day.

“We were out on a run. TJ said we could grab a drink . Forgot our bottles at home,” he said.

“Mhm,” you hummed. “Take whatever you want.”

“Thanks,” he said as you went back to your notebook, glancing out the front window and pausing. “TJ out there teaching Allie how to wash the car?”

“Yeah. She’s got a little bit of a tomboy streak in her. Daddy’s girl,” you said.

“Well Colin is totally a momma’s boy, like his grandpa,” he laughed. “Where is the adorable babe?”

“He’s having a playdate with some friends of ours. They’re thinking of a kid so we said take him for the day, see what it’s like,” you smiled. You went back to writing in your notebook, feeling Jared behind you. “Yes?”

“You’re doing your notebook again,” he said.

“And?”

“Do you want to come to another session with me?”

“What is wrong with all of you lately?” you snapped. Jared held up his hands and backed away. “I got chores to do when I’m done with this so if you don’t mind…”

“Alright. Thanks for the water,” he said.

Two hours later you were huffing as you and TJ walked out to the driveway.

“Allie just got down for a nap. What are you so pissed about?” he asked.

“All I said was I was going to skip my session this week,” you said. “I’ve done it before.”

“Yeah, when we’re away or something pops up. You’ve never skipped because you don’t want to go,” he said.

“I’ve got stuff to do on Thursday.”

“Like what?” he said. “Does your work suddenly have some kind of rules against employees taking time in the day for that sort of thing because I seriously doubt your parents would-”

“I don’t want to fight. Just give me space,” you said as you started to head down the driveway.

“Where are you going?” he said.

“A walk to cool off. Don’t worry about me.”

You’d walked over to the park about a mile away and settled on a bench, one you normally used to watch Allie run around on the playground from.

“Y/N.”

You looked left and saw Cody in his uniform, Cody looking around before he took a seat.

“What do you want?”

“Your dad, your mom, your husband, Jared and Gen...they’re all concerned. They asked me to come find you,” he said.

“Well you found me,” you said. “Not that I was hiding.”

“What happened,” he said. “You’re not the confident chick that was saying all that stuff to me at the house anymore.”

“I never was,” you said.

“I never apologized for what I said. I’m sorry,” he said.

“A few mean words don’t get under my skin anymore, Cody,” you said.

“You sort of look forward to the words after a while. It used to beat the alternative,” he said. You glanced over at him, Cody raising an eyebrow. “I know you were in some very bad homes. I was in a few bad ones myself. I know what goes on in those ones. I know it fucks you up pretty good.”

“I jumped down your throat at the house about you opening up and all I did was push you away from a family. A really great family. I didn’t just hurt someone. I hurt someone like me. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life,” you said.

He stared at you for a moment, glancing down at his lap with a smile.

“How long has it been? About three weeks since the house?” he asked. You nodded, Cody sitting back against the bench. “Sort of been the best three weeks ever you know.”

You whipped your head up, Cody shrugging at you.

“I needed you to say that stuff to me Y/N. You’re right. I was fucking terrified. I think part of me will always keep a little of that fear if you’re anything to go by but I’ll forget about, it’ll just be there as a reminder of the old me. I’m sorry I was a dickhead and I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you about any of this since. I’ve been trying to figure it out in my head. It sounds like I’m the reason you’re acting like this lately.”

“I get...funny sometimes,” you said, rubbing your arm. “Scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Scared that I don’t deserve the people I have in my life,” you said. “I know that’s not true but...I just get scared. I’m normally really good at pushing it back down and convincing myself that it’s just my head screwing with me but...you were too big a screw up. I did something so wrong.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said, resting his elbows on his knees, lowering his head. “I forgot the number one rule. The kids stick together.”

You nodded and gave him a half smile, Cody returning it.

“I want what you have, Y/N. I want it and I want parents and a family and to not feel like this shit is burying me everyday of my life. I’m so freaking tired of being alone. I’m not going to be perfect and you’re so much tougher than me cause you did it alone but...I need you to help me, help me not be so scared. I’m learning and it’s so slow but I think you can help me. But you got to keep calling me out on my shit. I don’t like being mean or making people feel bad about themselves. Everything has always come with a cost and I don’t know how to just take and not expect anything in return.”

“I can help,” you said. “I just...have to remember not to take everything you say to heart.”

“I’m sorry I said I don’t like you. The stuff about your dad too, that was out of line. I’m sorry,” he said.

“This is going to be one of the hardest things you do in your life, Cody. No one’s expecting you to be perfect. You never have to be perfect. Just try and be a little forgiving of us when we overreact or don’t say the right thing. We have to learn too,” you said.

“Why do you care so much about if this works out for me?”

“Everyone deserves a family, Cody.”

“Hey,” you said, giving TJ a smile when Cody dropped you off outside your house. He was pouting on the front porch, your dad out front with him. You saw your mom inside with Allie, getting a quick glance from her as you walked over. “Um...listen for a minute before you guys talk please. I...I thought...well I talked with Cody and...I knew exactly what I wanted to say in the car too.”

“Y/N,” said TJ. You gave him a soft smile, his face relaxing. “You seem like your old self again.”

“Cody and I...we...he...he’s going to be okay now,” you finally said.

“Are you okay now?” asked your dad.

“Yeah,” you said, giving him a smile. “I used to make you feel bad, didn’t I. The things I used to say.”

“We thought we were hurting more than we were helping at the beginning. But we saw you trying and we knew that us just being afraid. You are not Cody’s responsibility though, Y/N. He’s a grown man,” said your dad.

“Yes, he is. He’s also a child,” you said, your dad leaning back in his seat. “I think like he does. I can help him. If I can help him make this process even a sliver easier, I’ll take a few crappy weeks to do it. He said the past few weeks have been some of the best he’s ever had. It’s worth it then.”

“I’m not trying to start anything, I just...why is what he’s feeling more important than what you are?” asked TJ.

“It’s not. I know from experience though, this is literally the hardest thing he’ll have ever done in his life so far. We can help him. But we can’t get mad when he makes mistakes. Yeah, he’s 23. He’s gone so long without unconditional love, I don’t think he knows what it even is anymore. So you guys gotta help too. I’m okay now, really. Maybe he’s not my responsibility but then again, I was never yours. No one made you take me. No one made the Pads take him. You both chose to help a kid. Now please help me help him.”

“Okay,” said your dad. “But anybody here sees you slip back even a little-”

“I know. I know. I got my head on straight now. I promise.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Jared,” you laughed into the phone, TJ still trying to tickle you. “Thomas James Hanover. You need to stop young man.”

“Make me,” he giggled as he plopped on top of you.

“Sorry, Jared. What’s up?” you asked, nothing but quiet breathing coming from the other end. “Jare, you there?”

“Yeah. Um...I...I got in a fight with Cody. He was hanging out and I invited him to do Christmas with us in a few weeks and he got really...defensive,” he said. “He kind of blew up.”

“He still there?” you asked, TJ sitting upright.

“He was staying over tonight. His car’s still here but he went out on the back patio and…” he said, pausing in the background. “He’s twenty three and I’m still worried. I shouldn’t have...fuck. Happy Birthday kiddo. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have called and-”

“Hey. It’s cool. I’ll be right over, okay? I’m not supposed to be at my parents until later,” you said.

“Y/N, you really don’t-”

“Jared,” you said. “It’s fine. I swear. I’ll be right there.”

You hung up and TJ stood up with you. You raised an eyebrow but he smiled.

“I’m coming with this time,” he said.

“Alright,” you said. It was only a two minute drive to Jared’s and you were quickly in their driveway, walking around the side of the house, the backyard dark. “Anyone-”

“Surprise!” you heard, nearly jumping straight back into TJ when the lights turned on. You groaned and tilted your head against his chest, a chuckle rumbling through the crowd, your dad cracking up as he walked over.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to plan a surprise party for you?” he teased, kissing your forehead. “Happy Birthday, tall munchkin.”

“Losers. You’re all losers,” you said, your friends and family returning to milling about for the moment, Jared and Cody walking over with smirks. “You two...don’t you pull something like that again, got it?”

“Yeah, we got it,” said Jared. “I almost felt a little bad there until I remembered what I got you for a present. Totally makes up for it.”

“Mhm,” you said, looking at Cody. “What’s your excuse?”

“Uh...I...well I actually did talk to Jared and Gen about the holidays and…” he trailed off, looking at Jared. He smiled and threw an arm over Cody’s shoulders, giving him a squeezing hug.

“Somebody’s gonna have Christmas with us,” said Jared, Cody rolling his eyes. “We’re so happy he said yes.”

“It’s just a holiday,” said Cody with a shrug.

“Hey, Cody, show me where to grab a beer around here,” said TJ, taking off with Cody.

“How’d he really take the being invited to Christmas thing?” you asked.

“He’s nervous. But he said he’d try. He didn’t want anything though so naturally we’re going to spoil him rotten,” said Jared with a big grin.

“Spoil ‘em a little. Sentiment means more than you realize with these guys,” said your dad, wrapping his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Ain’t that right?”

“The old goot kind of has a point,” you said.

“I am fifty you little shit,” he said, waddling you over to the cake. “It’s just a sheet cake for everyone and then for the more refined tastes of certain family members...cookie cake is in the fridge.”

“Yes,” you said, getting a laugh from him. “So were you the mastermind behind this?”

“I can’t divulge my secrets,” he said, kissing your cheek. “Go on. Enjoy your party with your friends. You can hang out with your decrepit father later.”

“Still not old, dad,” you said with a smile.

“Damn right I’m not,” he said.

“Mom,” you called, catching her laugh before she even got all the way over. “Dad’s extra clingy tonight.”

“Extra clingy every night,” he said, flashing her a wink.

“Excuse me while I go vomit,” you said, looking back over your shoulder. “Thanks guys.”

“Anytime, kiddo.”

“Thanks for the party,” you said, dropping off the kids overnight bag at your parents place a few hours later. “And for taking the kids for the night so we can have some adult time.”

“You mean so you can sleep in tomorrow?” teased your dad.

“One hundred percent,” you said, watching him follow you outside. “Forget something?”

“You got one more present,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back, a smirk on his lips.

“Dad. The wine and the headphones were more than enough. In fact it was too much. I really don’t need stuff. Spend it on the other guys, really,” you said.

“Oh but this is a...unique present. It’s for both of us actually. In fact, I can’t ever even give it to you,” he said.

“Did you get me a riddle?” you laughed. “I am so confused.”

“Come here,” he said, standing under the light on the covered front patio. You stood there with him, your dad holding up his left arm. You raised an eyebrow, the shirt sleeve riding up to show off his tattoos for JJ and the twins. He turned his arm over so you could see the inside of his bicep, a dark mark on his skin you’d never seen before.

It was a simple black heart shape and you got closer, the outline made up of two words.

“Tall munchkin,” you said quietly, biting your bottom lip when he smiled. “You got a tattoo for me.”

“About time I got one for all my kids. Sorry it took so long to figure it out, tall munchkin,” he said. You titled your head, pursing your lips. He put a hand on your head and ran it through your hair, ruffling it up before he tucked a few pieces behind your ear. “You like your last present?”

“Yeah,” you said. “No way you’re ever going to top that one though.”

“Challenge accepted,” he said. “Go on. Let TJ go be all romantic. Kid’s got a pretty sweet surprise at home for you.”

“Dad,” you said, getting a hum from him. “I don’t really say it a lot but thank you for being TJ’s dad too. He appreciates it more than he lets on.”

“I know. I know you take care of him too though,” he said, kissing your forehead. “Now get.”

“Love you,” you said, kissing his cheek, a goofy smile crossing his face. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said.

“I’ve never kissed you, have I,” you said.

“Well, you’re also not a little girl,” he said. “Speaking of which, go on miss I’m twenty seven before I change my mind and send the kids back with you.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Colin,” you said, sitting with him on the first step in your parents pool the next day with your feet in the water. It was a little chilly but Colin loved the water and you knew a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. “I know the water is exciting but must you splash everywhere, baby?”

“Unh?” he said, hitting his hands against the water again.

“You take after your father alright,” you said, scooping him up. “You’re due for a nap anyways.”

“I’ll take the babe,” said Jared when you heard him behind you. You spun around and gave him a smile, handing off Colin.

“Just rinse off his feet quick if you don’t mind. He’ll get a bath later,” you said.

“Yes mam’,” he said, Allie running over from the swing set and giving him a hug. “Alright, how about both you guys get in a nap and then we can play?”

Allie nodded and Jared picked her up, carrying them back into the house when you spotted Cody head over.

“Sup,” you said, Cody taking a seat on the step with you.

“Hey,” he said.

“How’s it going?” you asked.

“Good,” he said.

“Good.”

“How’re the kids?”

“Good. Still little monsters,” you said.

“Hey, you been with these guys like ten years right?” he asked.

“Just over that. Yeah,” you said. “Why?”

“Just curious,” he said, resting his elbows on his knees, glancing across the yard to see your dad and TJ wrestling a bit in the grass. “Isn’t TJ like, afraid he’ll hurt him?”

“My dad might be fifty but he’s probably tougher than you,” you said with a laugh. “You can go play with the boys if you want.”

“Nah, I’m fine here,” he said, wiggling his toes in the water. “That’s colder than I was expecting.”

“You excited for Christmas? It’s only a few weeks away,” you said. “You got to tell me what you want too.”

“I don’t need anything,” he said. You cocked your head and he sighed. “A gift card is fine, really.”

“Alright,” you said, leaning back against your palms. “How’s work?”

“Good. Mostly low level stuff lately,” he said.

“Do you ever get scared?” you asked, Cody turning his head back. “I’d get scared. I’ll literally call my dad to kill the spiders in my house if TJ’s not around.”

“No. It’s not being scared. Just being aware of your surroundings. They train you really good on that stuff. This whole family situation is a million times scarier to me,” he said.

“I know. It’s like taking some beat up broken thing off the floor that’s you and handing it over to someone and asking them not to hurt it anymore,” you said.

“I’m not even at the point where I’ve handed it over,” he said.

“It took me a long to admit to myself that I loved my family. It took me probably ten months before I ever told any of them I loved them and I lived here back then,” you said.

“When did you know?” he asked. “That you loved them?”

“When I felt the first bit of it or when I knew it was unconditional?”

“Both?” he asked.

“Well the first bit was my first day. It was this tiny, tiny little thing that I barely felt for more than a second but my dad, see I told him not to bothering caring about me and that I would never trust him, never believe him that they wanted me as part of their family. He told me he’d prove me wrong. That was the first flicker of something that was built on until...you know stuff happened with me right? With my foster care cases and everything?” you asked.

“It was on the news. I remember our case worker coming and talking to all of us kids about it and about reporting anything bad,” said Cody.

“I remember that day. I remember doubting them for a second, that they had called and asked I be removed. I felt so awful for thinking that. But for a split second, I thought this guy, Jensen, I thought this guy that had spent the past six or so months telling me he loved me, taking care of me, building up this trust...I thought he didn’t want me anymore. It was my worst nightmare. My mom, De, she’s always been a little easier. I don’t know if it’s cause we’re girls or if because I didn’t have the same level of problems with old foster moms as I did dads but Jensen...I was a bratty little bitch to him so many times. So many times. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven for all of it. But he never once made me feel afraid or scared. He protected me. He still protects me. I’ve been here just over ten years now and sometimes I still feel like a kid that wants her dad to fix whatever’s wrong. He does. It’s not bruises or intimidating boys but stuff like late night talks, staying over when TJ’s out of town, that kind of stuff.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying it’s okay to be scared. You’re gonna be scared for a while probably. It took a long time to love my family unconditionally. Longer than it took them. It’s part of the deal. You’ll slip up and have doubts. It may happen years later even. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you do it is all,” you said.

“So when did you know it was unconditional?” he asked. “Them, I mean.”

“Day I asked to be adopted. But it’s funny. That was the day I knew but every day before that I knew too. I didn’t want to admit it to myself was all,” you said. “Defense mechanism.”

“I got a lot of those,” he said quietly. “I don’t know how to trust them.”

“There’s no magic answer, Cody. I didn’t know how to trust my parents either. Or TJ at first. But you’re learning. Think of our first day and now,” you said. “It’s a lot of stumbling baby steps.”

“What are you two munchkins talking about?” you heard your dad say, suddenly ruffling the top of your head, Cody getting one of his own.

“Stuff. TJ kick your ass, old man?” you smirked as you titled your head back.

“That boy should take the self-defense class you took,” he said, nodding to the right. You turned your head and burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny!” said TJ, rolling around on the ground, one of his hands tied to his ankle with his sweatshirt string, his hood pulled down so only his nose was sticking out. “Jensen! I hear you laughing, asshole!”

“Better go save your damsel in distress,” laughed your dad.

“I hate you!” he shouted.

“No you don’t,” said your dad as you pulled your feet out of the water, Cody following suit. “Maybe Cody could teach you a thing or two. I bet he knows a few moves.”

“Or maybe next time Cody can join in and…” said TJ when you walked over to push his hood back and he shook out his head. “I know the two of us could take you.”

“Oh, yes. Two fit boys in their twenties versus the fifty year old because that’s a fair fight. Jared and I against you two though, we win every time,” said your dad.

“Boys. You guys never grow up, do you,” you said, helping TJ for a moment before he popped up.

“Two out of three,” he said.

“Oh, I’m ready if you are, kid,” said your dad.

“Jensen!” your mom shouted from the porch. “What are you doing to your son-in-law?”

“Nothing,” he said, quickly putting his hands behind his back and putting on an innocent smile.

“Well if you four are done playing in the grass, come in and wash up. Lunch is ready soon,” she said. You hung back with Cody, TJ trying to give your dad a noogie but failing and winding up with one himself, the two chuckling as they headed inside.

“Your dad is kinda...something else,” he said as you took the long way around the house.

“TJ’s dad isn’t the greatest. He’s not a bad guy but TJ and him don’t have the relationship my dad and him do. TJ’s dad is more of a boys don’t have feelings kind of guy,” you said.

“I know the type,” said Cody.

“My dad and TJ got pretty close after we got engaged. TJ’s his kid too,” you said with a small smile. “It’s like how Jared and Gen and the kids are my family even if they’re not. This is what our family is.”

“Does it ever go away? That feeling?” he asked. “Not belonging?”

“Yes. Eventually. The doubt will creep back in sometimes. But these people will smother you with love when that happens,” you said. “But if these guys aren’t the right fit, then maybe we can help you find whatever you think that fit is. I’ll help you.”

“I like them. I have to work more on that trusting them thing though,” he said.

“It’ll happen. Trust me.”

Christmas Night

“Oh, there’s my adorable children,” whispered your dad. You had your head resting on TJ’s shoulder, Arrow passed out on TJ’s other side and curled into him. JJ and Zeppelin were sharing the other end of the couch, the both of them fast asleep.

He had his phone out most likely and you figured he’d already snapped a few pictures.

“Precious babies,” he said. You peeled open an eye and saw him walking away. You smiled as you sat up, your dad walking back down to the kitchen.

You heard him sigh as he sat down on the couch and you paused on the stair, just out of view.

“I told you those five were conked out up there,” said your mom.

“They’re so cute,” he said. “I love them.”

“You okay?” she asked.

“I miss when they were little,” he said. “How excited they were to open presents. It’s nice to see Allie and Colin do it but it’s different now. They’re all getting so big.”

“We knew this would happen someday,” she said. “What’s up? I know it’s more than that. You got that worried about Y/N look.”

“She’s a mom. All day her focus was on the kids which I totally get but…” he said, voice cracking slightly. “Sorry.”

“Hey, baby. It’s okay. You’re tired. It’s okay to get emotional,” she said.

“She never got her childhood. It ended when she was ten years old. Every year she gets older and it’s harder,” he said.

“Jensen. Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked. “This isn’t like you.”

“I’m sorry. I just...we were talking at dinner and I realized, she never got her trip,” he said. “The kids trip, the one on one where they pick where to go and it’s just us, when they were little. I realized it took ten years to get a tattoo for her. I didn’t-”

“You have been waiting ten years to get that tattoo because you were trying to find the perfect thing. You’ve wanted to get one for her since she was adopted,” she said. “We have given her so much, Jay. She knows it. She doesn’t care when you got a tattoo. The fact you got one made her so happy. She doesn’t care about a trip. You know she already thinks we do too much for her.”

“Still,” he said. “She’s oldest. She got her school and house and wedding because of that. The other three will get the same exact thing. Her literal life plan, her’s and TJ’s, got thrown out because they walked down an alley.”

“What was our life plan? Two? You remember that?” she asked.

“You got the three you wanted,” he chuckled. “By luck.”

“Yes but a teenager wasn’t in the plan. Not until you, mister I was okay with one kid, out of the blue said you’d really like to add another,” she said. “Plans change. They change all the time. I mean, maybe they started having kids a little sooner than they were planning but can you blame them? Her daddy wanted to adopt. So did they.”

“I’ve never been her daddy, De. She had one of those,” said Jensen.

“I had two of those,” you said, swinging around the corner, leaning against the entrance to the room. Both their heads turned towards you and you shrugged. “I thought I told you I had two dads, just like I had two moms. Also, relax. Mom’s right. You give me more than I ever could have wanted.”

“Still eavesdropping I see,” he said, giving you a smile.

“I would have loved to have gotten to be a little kid around here but I didn’t. Don’t get upset over that dad. I still have a lot of growing up to do. I promise,” you said.

“I know. I was having a moment is all,” he said, closing his eyes. “Go on back to bed, tall munchkin.”

“Okay,” you said, giving him a smile. You stepped over to the couch and gave your mom a hug, giving him one too before you wandered over to his stocking and flicked your finger against it, a light thwacking sound coming from inside. “I wonder what that could be…”

“That was empty earlier,” he said as he stood up. You shrugged and leaned back against the doorframe, smirking as he pulled out the card and opened it. He smiled and dropped his head down. “You two are such little shits.”

“I learned it from you,” you said, giggling when he pulled you into a headlock.

“Your kid vacation,” he said.

“Mom and I thought you might like it. We wanted to surprise you,” you said.

“I am surprised,” he said, glancing over the card. “So we’re going hiking and camping I see. I thought you hated camping?”

“It’s alright,” you said.

“You two going to be able to survive for a week out in the woods?” she asked.

“Mhm,” you said. “It’ll be fun.”

“You know, the other guys have done things like Disney or...actually they all picked Disney,” he chuckled.

“We can do something else if-”

“No. No. I uh, I think we can have fun. I’ll figure out some fun stuff for us to do. I promise.”

One Week Later

“Do you think it’s gonna rain all day?” you asked, not two hours into your camping trip when it’d started to pour down. Thankfully the two of you were able to put up the tent quickly and get inside without getting too wet.

“I hope not,” he said. You pursed your lips and fixed your sweatshirt around yourself, your dad tucking you into his side. “Cold?”

“A little,” you said.

“When there’s a break in the weather, how about we head back to the car? I got the feeling you don’t really want to go camping all that much,” he said. You risked a glance his way and he smiled. “Just because I like to go on occasion does not mean that we have to spend your trip doing it.”

“I wanted to do something we both would...like,” you said, tucking your knees into your chest.

“Can you be selfish for once in your life? Like, that’s literally the purpose of the kid’s vacation,” he said.

“I thought it was to spend time with you,” you said quietly. He put his arm around you and you put your head on his shoulder.

“Where do you really want to go? Anywhere in the world, you pick,” he said.

“Can we go to the vacation house?” you asked. “Pretend it’s camping?”

“Without a doubt. I got a great idea for once we get there too.”

“Alright,” he said, spread out on one side of the tent that was set up in the family room that night, the flap up and open so you could see the fireplace going. “Never have I ever...seen a boyband in concert.”

“That is cheating and you know it,” you said.

“I think someone is being a sore loser and needs to take a drink,” he said with a chuckle. You smirked and took a sip of your beer, fixing TJ’s henley you wore. “Hit me with it. None of these softball questions either. What happens on kid’s trip, stays on kid’s trip. Shoot.”

“Never have I ever abused my status as a celebrity to get what I want,” you said.

“Okay. Now we’re getting into it,” he said, taking a sip as he laughed. “Also, that’s a pretty broad brush to stroke.”

“Yeah but you totally have gotten special treatment before,” you said.

“I know. I know. Alright. Never have I ever made out in the back of a car,” he said.

“No way,” you scoffed. “You so have.”

“I have not.”

“Yes you have! Dad, come on,” you said. He shrugged and you stared at him, taking a sip. He smirked and took one of his own. “Oh, you gonna play that game?”

“Your mother is hot. Can you blame me?” he asked.

“Ew, dad. That’s mom. I know she’s pretty but like the time I caught you guys making out on the couch was bad enough,” you said.

“Be grateful you aren’t Zepp. Poor boy was scarred for life a few months ago,” he said, sipping on his beer.

“No. Like full on…”

“Mhm.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. Thankfully it was just me and not mom. He was surprisingly grown up about it. That’s kinda when we had our little talk about birds and the bees,” he said.

“Poor traumatized soul,” you said, chuckling as you leaned back against your pillow.

“He’ll survive,” he laughed. “But yeah, mom and I make out cause you know, it’s fun. It gets a little harder with kids but make sure to keep the romance alive. Go on dates, be silly and make out with each other. You don’t have to stop acting like teenagers in love just because you have kids around.”

“We don’t. TJ’s...he’s not as shy as you might peg him for in certain areas,” you said.

“Well you drank. Obviously you’ve made out with him in a car too.”

“TJ...and Brad.”

“Who the fuck is Brad?” he asked.

“My one and only other boyfriend. Remember?” you asked.

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah. The nice one, right?”

“Mhm.”

“How old were you when you were making out in the back of cars?” he asked.

“Fifteen,” you said.

“I’ll probably regret going any further down this line of questioning, won’t I.”

“I can guarantee it,” you said. He winced and you frowned. “Mom knows about me and boys, dad.”

“Did you love him?” he asked.

“I liked him but no, I don’t think I loved him. He was refreshing though. He never cared about the foster care stuff. Brad was a good guy. TJ, that was different.”

“He was head over heels in love with you from the start,” he said, resting his feet up on the pillow near your head.

“When did you love him?” you asked as you sat up. He smiled and glanced down, taking a long drink.

“I had always enjoyed your friendship. I know friends are hard. TJ just seemed to slide right into your life though without a problem which De and I were always a little grateful for. When he started to come over, it was pretty obvious to everyone but you two that you’d at least wind up dating. As time went on, it got a little more obvious and a little more obvious and a little more obvious where things were going. I always liked Thomas. But the moment I knew I loved him was when we talked about him marrying you. That’s a conversation between he and I but it made me realize this boy loved you as much as I do. You deserve a lifetime of that kind of love and I know he’ll give it to you. After that night, yeah, I knew I loved him too,” he said.

“He’s always so understanding if I get quiet sometimes,” you said. “If I have bad days.”

“Partners make the bad days not so bad,” he said with a smile.

“I started going back to therapy more often,” you said, biting your bottom lip. “Once a week now.”

“Everything okay?” he asked, sitting closer.

“I had some post partum with Colin,” you said, looking at the fire. “Nothing bad. Just stirs up a lot of old stuff. I’ve been talking a lot with Cody too and trying to give the it gets better speech but some days…”

“Some days what?” he asked. You glanced towards him, his shirt sleeve ridden up and showing your tattoo on his bicep.

“Some days I still feel like I ruin everyone’s lives,” you said. “I always cause problems. There’s always drama. I always need help. I feel like a child that doesn’t deserve any of it.”

“Honey, none of that is true. Family is meant to help you,” he said, taking your hand and resting it on his arm. “Can I tell you a secret?”

You nodded and he smiled, pressing your thumb over his tattoo.

“I’m surprised you still have secrets to tell me at this point,” you said.

“Well...I don’t know if it’s really a secret or what. Despite working on a show called Supernatural for years, you know I’m not much of one for ghosts or strange stuff or whatever,” he said.

“Uh, where are you going with this?” you asked. He smiled and shook his head.

“We met when you walked in the front door a little over ten years ago, right?” he asked. You nodded and he laughed. “That’s what I thought too up until recently. We’re both wrong about that.”

“What?”

“Do you recall going to Disneyworld when you were three years old?” he asked. You shook your head. “I would have been about your age actually.”

“Dad, what are you saying.”

“I went on vacation with my parents and siblings to Florida that year. We were waiting at our gate to go home. It was a pretty busy part of the airport. Big terminal, you know, a flight with a couple hundred people easy on it. My mom was filming us on her camera cause you know how moms are. My parents were recently looking through old videos looking for something for Josh and they watched this vacation one in the airport. Apparently I was coming back from the bathroom and you see me heading back and then all of a sudden there’s this little girl standing in the middle of the walkway. She’s crying quietly and she’s got this scrape on her knee. I see her and she sees me and then I go over and kneel down. I’d completely forgotten this ever happened. My mom comes over too and this girl is crying and tells us she’s lost and someone bumped into her and pushed her down and that she’s not supposed to talk to strangers. I tell her I’m Jensen and ask what her name is so we aren’t strangers anymore and-”

“I remember you,” you said, staring at him. “I don’t but I remember freckles and green eyes and Jay. I remember Jay. I couldn’t say Jensen.”

“No, you couldn’t. I picked you up and we found your parents not thirty seconds later and they were so relieved. Your dad tried to pay me but they just ended up thanking my mom and me a lot. Your parents said I was a good kid,” he said. “You told them I was your new friend and then we went our separate ways.”

“I remember you,” you smiled to yourself.

“I don’t believe in stuff like that, munchkin. I don’t. It’s pure coincidence if you ask me. It was less than sixty seconds of our lives,” he said. “But you’ve never once ruined my life. You made it better. You made it better that day. I did something good. I was able to help someone. You swung back around years later and started to help me too.”

“How have I ever helped you?” you asked. He tilted his head and smiled, letting it get bigger the longer you raised an eyebrow.

“I still have things to teach you it seems,” he said, moving your hand over his heart. “This. You have made me a better person. A kinder person. A more patient and loving and understanding person. You made my heart bigger.”

“Dad, that’s-”

“Yes, it’s horribly corny. But it’s true. How many nights have we sat up and gotten through nightmares together?”

“A lot,” you said quietly.

“How many times was I overprotective?”

“A lot.”

“How many times have we been through shit and we get through it?”

“A lot,” you breathed out.

“I love you. I love you more now than even back then. This has never been one way, Y/N. You gave all of us something too, something we could have never asked for. You made all of us better people. We never deserved you, not the other way around.”

You paused for a moment before you crawled into his lap and gave him a big hug, his arms wrapping you up tight.

“Maybe it wasn’t coincidence,” you said against his shoulder.

“Maybe not, kiddo,” he said, kissing your temple, the two of you quiet for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell us about the post partum?”

“It wasn’t that bad,” you said, turning your head away. “I was embarrassed.”

“What would Jared say about that?”

“I know. I wanted to be normal,” you said.

“Normal people are overrated,” he said. You smiled and closed your eyes. “Been awhile since we had a proper cuddle.”

You took a deep breath and shuddered, his hand running up and down your back.

“I should probably save the letter for later, hm?”

“Oh my God, dad,” you said, giggling against him. “You gotta stop with these letters.”

“Really?”

“No,” you said.

“Whew. You only have a ton left. None tonight though,” he smirked. He turned you around and scooted the two of you out of the tent, grabbing a long pole and sticking a marshmallow on the end before handing it to you. “I can get behind this kind of camping trip.”

“Dad,” you said as he put on his own.

“Yeah?”

“Can we go fishing tomorrow?” you asked.

“Oh, I must be in your good graces,” he chuckled. “Of course, kiddo. I’ll even let you put on your own worm.”

“We’re home!” said your dad a few days later as you walked in the house. You turned around the corner, TJ sitting up on a couch with a face mask on, your mom on the other. “I see a staycation was had as well.”

“It was easier to let TJ and the babes stay over,” said your mom. “How’d it go?”

“We really roughed it,” said your dad.

“Yeah, it was-”

“I totally got an alert that the vacation house alarm was turned off so how long you two gonna keep up the charade?” she asked with a smirk.

“You’re no fun,” you said.

“Yes,” said your dad, giving you a high five. “Finally you see my ways.”

“Oh, shut it you two,” she said. “We made brownies earlier if you want some.”

“Are you guys watching Titanic?” you asked, taking a seat next to TJ before you wrapped him up in a cuddle.

“Yes, dear,” he said, tilting his head back as you kissed him. “Have fun?”

“Yeah. It was nice to get away and just relax with dad,” you said. “I told him about…”

“TJ spilled the beans on the whole baby blues situation, honey,” said your mom. “Seriously, talk to us next time. Don’t go through something like that alone.”

“I know,” you said. “I’m okay. So you guys hang out this week?”

“Yeah. We had a good time,” said TJ as he peeled off his mask.

“Extra pretty boy,” you smiled.

“Don’t make us vomit,” said your dad. You stuck out your tongue at him, your mom taking off her own and tossing it in the trash can in the middle of the room full of snacks. “You two been having a movie binge fest or what?”

“Mhm,” said TJ.

“You can tell him,” she said. You looked down at TJ and then to your dad as he slid in behind your mom. “TJ and the kids came over for dinner on Friday and I got a little scared when I realized all the kids were at sleepovers and I’d be home alone. So I made up an excuse to have them stay and he saw through that pretty quickly.”

“It’s really no problem. I know Y/N doesn’t like staying home alone either,” said TJ. You saw your dad smile, glancing down for a moment before he saw you staring. You swore he loved him a little more in that moment.

“Well TJ might suck at wrestling but he’ll take care of you guys if I’m ever not around. I know he will,” he said. They both shared a look and nodded and you wondered if they’d ever spoken about something like that.

“So how was it?” asked TJ quietly when your parents got up to change into some pajamas. “I had a lot of fun hanging out with your mom actually.”

“I’m glad. Dad and I...I really love him. Mom too,” you said, kissing the top of his head.

“There was a little bit of news with Cody actually,” he said.

“Oh yeah? What happened?”

“He had a scary call at work apparently. He wasn’t in good shape when he got home from it all. He called Jared and Gen and they went and got him and brought him to their place. They had a big breakthrough apparently. Cody says he’s starting to get what you meant about the trusting thing,” he said.

“It sucks but sometimes...whenever I fell apart and my parents were there to put me together, when you were there, that’s how I started to learn to trust them. Not having to put yourself together again is nice,” you said.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you.”

“Well thanks guys,” said your dad, ruffling both your heads as he returned. “I love you guys too.”

“Jensen. Kinda having a moment with my girl, dude,” said TJ.

“I’m your father-in-law. I’m gonna tease the shit out of you, dude,” he chuckled, pinching TJ’s cheek.

“Oh my God,” groaned TJ.

“Thank you, Thomas,” he said, fixing TJ’s hair.

“For what?” he asked as your mom walked back in.

“You know what,” he said, plopping down on the couch, your mom curling up next to him. “Oh, hey. You guys want to watch an old home movie?”

“Dad,” you said with a smirk, getting one back.

“It’s not that long, you guys will love it, I’m sure. I was telling Y/N all about it on our trip. I ought to show her it,” he said.

“Whatever you want, honey,” said your mom. You dad smiled and after a moment, he got the video up on the TV. It was a little boring at first but it was funny to see your other family members so young, still a little surprising to see how well your dad had aged for nearly twenty something years later.

“Here comes the best part,” he said.

“If we have to see anymore of your horrifically ugly face, Jensen, I don’t know if I can take it,” said TJ. You giggled, your dad chucking a pillow at him.

“Oh just wait and see, Hanover,” he said. TJ settled back into you before he and your mom both shot up like rockets in their seats, staring at the screen.

“Is that…” said your mom. Your little three year old self was more upset than you thought you’d be but what surprised you most was how you relaxed for a moment when you looked up at Jensen. You remembered being a pretty shy kid and leery of strangers. But you walked right up to him after that and tugged on his hand, Jensen smiling as he knelt down.

“You picked them,” said TJ as Jensen’s mom came over and started to talk to you. It was comical to you how you shied behind him a little, your head shaking at yourself. Before you knew it you were up on his hip and he was walking around with you before your parents popped up in the video.

“They look happy,” you said. You felt all three of their gazes on you.

“Y/N, I can turn it off if-”

“No,” you said, smiling as you watched yourself get handed over to your dad. You bit your bottom lip as they thanked him over and over again, Jensen getting shy on camera.

“Bye, Jay,” you waved at them.

“Bye, munchkin,” he chuckled, your head instantly whipping up from your dad’s shoulder.

“I not a munchkin!” you said.

“Honey, it’s a nickname,” said your mom. “Excuse her, she’s normally not so forward with strangers.”

“Oh, it’s fine. She’s having a rough day. You stick with your parents for me though, kiddo. Promise?” he said.

“Okay,” you said, putting your head back down. “Later, Jay.”

“Later, little munchkin,” he said, chuckling when you giggled and he started to walk back with his mom. “What?”

“You were very good with her,” said his mom.

“Eh, she’s a scared kid. I’m glad we found her parents quick,” he said.

“You’ll make a good dad someday, sweetheart,” she said.

“Oh my God, mom,” he groaned.

TJ started to crack up and you laughed, giving him a hug for a moment before you buried your head in the back of his neck.

“You okay?” asked TJ. You heard the video end and nodded, glancing over at your dad.

“Hell of a coincidence,” you said, giving him a smile.

“I don’t…” said your mom, staring back and forth between the two of you. “I…”

“Maybe TJ’s right and you picked us out a long time ago,” he said.

“Maybe, maybe not. I don’t care if it’s coincidence or not. I wound up exactly where I was supposed to,” you said.

“I think so too,” he said.

“I’m gonna go put on my pajamas and then we can watch a movie,” you said, getting up and heading for the guest room. You found Allie and Colin tucked away in there and you smiled, giving them each a kiss before you headed back down the hall. You paused when you saw your dad leaning against the wall halfway down, smiling softly as you wandered over. “You left out a few things from when you told me about that video.”

“What can I say? I got to keep you on your toes, tall munchkin,” he said. You rolled your eyes but giggled, glancing down for a minute. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about the fact you’d see your parents in that video.”

“Jensen,” you said as you lifted your head up. “I got to see three of my four parents together. Happy. That was incredible to see. You will never be my second father, Jensen. I’ve been your child as long as I’ve been theirs. I miss them. A lot. But don’t feel as though you are second to them. Please. They made me and they raised me until they couldn’t. Then you raised me and you had to teach me some of the things I forgot about family. You’ve always taken care of me. I’m not upset about seeing them in that video, dad. It was perfect.”

“I worry about you sometimes,” he said quietly.

“Really? Never would have guessed.”

He chuckled and shook his head.

“JJ and the twins...we made them. It’s different. But you...sometimes I wonder if we’re good enough. I want you to have the world. I want you to have the family that you deserve and one you love. I-”

“Dad. That is the dumbest thing you have ever said to me. I love this family. I love it to death. You gave me the world. No more of this stuff. We all deserve and love each other, okay?” you asked. “Please?”

“Okay, kiddo,” he said. “I’ll try to remember that.”

“Good,” you said, giving him a hug.

“You don’t go wandering off at airports anymore, hm?” he teased.

“Dork,” you said. You peeled back and grabbed his hand. “Movie with the other dorks?”

“Sure,” he said, pulling you along with him. “Come on, little munchkin.”

“It’s tall munchkin to you,” you said. You smirked and headed down the hall, surprised to see the twins and JJ in the living room, all of them rewatching the video with big eyes.

“Well if we got the whole crew, let’s head up to the TV room where there’s more room,” said your dad. You watched them pile up, JJ hanging back a second while your dad went to make some popcorn in the kitchen.

“Y/N,” she said. You tilted your head, watching her fist her hands together and a shudder leave her.

“JJ,” you said, giving her a hug. “What’s wrong?”

You saw your dad’s head whip up in the kitchen but you waved him off for the moment.

“I’m so sorry I said we didn’t want you,” she said, wiping off her face. “Before that first Christmas. You’re supposed to be here and I was a brat and-”

“JJ,” you said, giving her a squeezing hug she melted into. “I don’t care about technically anymore. You’re my little sister and I love you. I have always loved you. I was so scared when I was your age. You were five. I’ve never been mad at you for that night. I promise.”

“I remember that night,” said your dad as he walked over. “Your sister almost ran away on us. But she stayed. You know why?”

“No,” she said, your dad brushing thumb over her cheek and cleaning off her face. “Dad.”

“Dad’s cool with you crying in front of him. Trust me,” you said. “I stayed because I wanted to. I knew you were upset was all because you didn’t think I loved you. But I do. I loved you and the other guys long before mom and dad. You guys were easy.”

“Come here you two,” he said, pulling you both into a hug. “No need to dig up that stuff. JJ, Y/N loves you. Believe me.”

“I know,” she said. “I just…”

“Just what, sweetie?” he asked.

“I can’t imagine being by myself right now. I’m as old as Y/N was when she came here. I know I’m not a little kid anymore but I can’t imagine having no one,” she said, turning to you. “How did you do it?”

“I was very unhappy most of the time. Until mom and dad and you guys taught me how to be happy again,” you said. “I’m okay now.”

“JJ. If anything were to happen to me and mom, you’ll never end up in a situation like your sister was. You three will go with her and TJ. They’ll take care of you,” he said.

“Don’t talk like that dad,” she said. “You’re not old.”

“He kinda is,” you smiled.

“Mhm,” he said, putting you both in headlocks.

“Mom!” you both said, your dad chuckling.

“Fend for yourselves!” you heard shouted back.

“Dad’s super ticklish,” you said, getting under his arm before he squirmed.

“Am not!” he said, JJ moving out of the way before she grabbed his arm and turned it over.

“I thought the other one was for Y/N?” she said. You cocked your head and glanced at your dad.

“Other one? You have another tattoo for me?” you asked.

“It was temporary while I was figuring out which one to do,” he said.

“I’ve used those before. They only last like a week,” you said, your dad blinking slowly at you.

“You have a tattoo young lady?” he asked. “Where?”

“I’m thinking about it,” you said. “Such a worrier. Come on JJ. Maybe when you’re eighteen we can go get one together.”

“I hate you both,” he said, shaking his head as the popcorn went off.

“We love you too, dad,” you laughed, going over to the stairs with her. She went up first and you glanced back, watching him pour the bag into a few bowls. “Dad.”

“Mhm?”

“Would you really be pissed if I got a tattoo?”

“No. I can’t let the sixteen year old think that though,” he said. “You really want to get one, let me know. Mom and I know a good place to go.”

“I will,” you said, taking a bowl from him.

“Can we watch a movie with dad in it?” asked Zeppelin as you walked up and took a seat.

“Fine, fine. You twins are old enough to see the scary stuff I suppose,” he said.

“What’s the one you and mom were both in?” he asked as you choked on a piece of popcorn, TJ slapping your back.

“No, Zepp, not that one. Maybe My Bloody Valentine if you think they can handle that?” you said. TJ was quick to put it on, your parents chuckling from the far end of the couch.

“Is it scary?” asked Arrow as she wrapped her blanket around herself.

“It’s only a little scary,” said TJ. She climbed into his side between him and Zeppelin.

“Alright, but if it’s too scary I’m gonna leave,” she said.

“You’ll be fine, Ro. It’s all make believe,” said TJ. You excused yourself to the bathroom a little while later, stopping in the family room for a moment when your dad was refilling the bowls.

“You okay?” he asked.

“We should invite the Pads over,” you said. “Family sleepover.”

“Call Jared and the gang,” he said. “They’re always welcome. We can watch Friday the 13th after, make it a night.”

You picked up the house phone and called the Pads house, the phone ringing a few times.

“Padalecki’s,” said Cody.

“Hey Cody, it’s Y/N. How’re you doing?”

“Hey. I’m good. I’ve been staying over Jared and Gen’s house this week, trying to make a point of it to see them everyday. It’s...helping. I might bunk here for a while,” he said.

“I heard you had a rough night,” you said.

“Yeah. I called Jared after a while and he and Gen came and got me. It wasn’t pretty,” he said.

“Next rough night, don’t hesitate to talk to them. They’ll be there,” you said.

“I know. What’s up?” he asked. “Need Jared?”

“No, I was...we’re having a bit of an impromptu family sleepover in the family room. Movies, popcorn, that sort of thing. We wanted to invite you guys over,” you said. Cody was quiet on the other end. “Cody, still there?”

“Yeah. I’m here,” he said. “I’ve never been to a sleepover actually. I was always the loner kid at school. You know how it is.”

“Yeah, I do. Well get your ass and all those guys over here. We’ll have some fun,” you said.

“We’ll be over soon, Y/N,” he said.

“Cody? You ever want to hang out with just me and TJ, that’s cool too. Just shoot us a text,” you said.

“I’ll take you up on that sometime,” he said softly.

“How’s it feeling lately? That belonging feeling,” you said.

“A little better everyday. I’ve never had parents. I’m still getting used to it,” he said.

“You will. We’ll see you guys soon,” you said. You hung up and put the phone back, your dad grabbing some drinks to bring up. “They’ll be over in a little bit.”

“Okay,” he said as you took a few bottles of water in your arms. “I’m proud of you.”

“For what?” you asked.

“No particular reason,” he said. “Just am.”

“Well I’m proud of you too,” you said, starting to walk away. “I like the charity.”

“You do, huh.”

“Yeah. It gives people a chance. Everyone deserves one of those,” you said.

“You know those test cases I was telling you about? There’s been an adoption so far with everyone of them. I have a feeling Cody’s going to end up being okay too,” he said.

“He needed some love was all,” you said.

“Yeah, he did,” he said. “A friend who’s been through it all doesn’t hurt either.”

“I told him it’s the hardest thing he’ll ever do,” you said.

“Did it ever get easier?” he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, it did.”

“When?” he asked.

“Everyday. At some point it went from I don’t know if I can trust you to I know he’d die protecting me. I don’t know when it happened but at some point, I knew it was okay. The letters never hurt either,” you said.

“Jared wrote Cody a letter,” he said. You smiled, your dad nodding. “When he’s ready for it. Don’t spoil the surprise though.”

“I won’t. He’ll love it,” you said.

“You know they wanted to adopt because of you,” he said. “You did that. Cody someday. Five other people that were test cases. You helped all those people find families.”

“I didn’t do that, you did,” you said.

“I just put some money into it. You showed me where there was a flaw, a flaw you were so scared of happening to you. I don’t want people to be scared. Kids shouldn’t be scared. It won’t always work out but it gives them a chance,” he said. “You did that.”

“Hey. Hallmark channel,” said Arrow, both your heads whipping over to the stairs. “You two coming back or what?”

“The sass on that child,” you said.

“I’m so proud of my baby girl,” he said, putting a hand on his heart.

“Maybe if you helped bring up some snacks, the faster we’d get back,” you said.

“Fine,” she groaned, taking some bottles up in her arms. Your dad headed up ahead of you and you followed after, the movie back on after a few minutes. You saw the headlights from the Padaleckis car swing through the windows and you smiled, resting your head on TJ’s shoulder.

“I love you,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“I love you too, babe. Always.”

__________

A/N: Check out the Father’s Day timestamp here!

#spn #supernatural #spngenrebingo #jensen x daughter!reader #rpf #au #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #reader insert #spn fanfiction #jensen x

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