#don't bully me too hard if some details are off guys

[skepticalcatfrog]

Kerch, Ghezenism, and the Van Eck Family

The title pretty much sums it up. This is a rather extensive analysis, and to be honest with you all it is 2,500+ words. So get into this absolute beast at your own risk!

~~~

From my experience in this fandom, I've seen it discussed very frequently how important religion is in the Grishaverse. Not only is it very deeply developed, to the point where many of the different countries have unique beliefs - which I'm not sure is seen very often in newer literature - but the various religious systems are also deeply important to many major characters, such as Matthias and Inej. However, one aspect of Grishaverse religions that seems to be overlooked somewhat often is the Kerch religion of Ghezenism. This may just be me, but I have a lot of thoughts on it. A big reason for that is that Wylan is, and always has been, my favorite character, and the culture surrounding Ghezen is actually a very important part of his character for many reasons. When you look into it in the way that I have, you discover that there are a lot of peculiar aspects of Ghezenism that make it stand out, as well as many ties that it has to major aspects of the story.

Right away, one thing that makes Kerch religion different from the others is how deeply connected to the economy it is. So much so that a lot of aspects of the two subjects are one and the same. Given that Ketterdam is a city largely fueled by commerce, it makes sense that Ghezenism would heavily tie into Kerch culture as well. Symbols of Ghezen can be found in many places throughout the city, even beyond the Church of Barter. A very good example of this is Vellgeluk, the island where the Crows meet Van Eck expecting to get their reward from the Ice Court heist: “Smugglers called it Vellgeluk, “good luck,” because of the paintings still visible around the base of what would have been the obelisk tower: golden circles meant to represent coins, symbols of favor from Ghezen, the god of industry and commerce,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 44). This just goes to show how many people in Ketterdam, and the wider country of Kerch as well, put their faith in Ghezen. Vellgeluk is a chosen place for smugglers to do business, specifically because favors of Ghezen are still present there. 

Another interesting part of that passage is the fact that Ghezen is referred to as the god of industry and commerce. Kerch may have other gods, but as far as I can remember - and I may be wrong, but I don't think I am - we never hear about any of them. A similar situation can be found in Fjerda, where Djel is specifically the god of life, implying the existence of other gods. In Fjerda, it is very clear that Djel is mainly what they base their culture and belief system around. This makes perfect sense for a god of life, but isn't Ketterdam’s situation a bit more unusual? The most frequently discussed god, Ghezen, represents industry. We can assume Ghezen is the primary god within the Kerch religious system. Not to mention that their largest church is called the Church of Barter, barter obviously being a term that has much to do with economics. Ketterdam, if not the entire country of Kerch, seems to have no real concept of the separation of church and state. They quite literally hold auctions inside of the church; the auctioning of Kuwei is not a singular event.

The impacts of religion can also be seen in the culture and behavior of the people of Kerch, as seen in a brief section of Crooked Kingdom. “Kerch women—even the wealthy ones—didn’t bother with anything as frivolous as embroidery or needlepoint. Ghezen was better served by tasks that benefited the household,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 14). Obviously, things like this are much more typical of religion. But I would argue that even this holds traces of the same values expressed by the connection between Ghezenism and the economy. It is specifically mentioned here that Kerch women are encouraged to participate in tasks that will “benefit the household”. This displays one of the very prominent aspects of the Ghezenite religion, which is that one of the most important things a person can do is be productive, and create a prosperous life for themselves and their family.

In addition to direct ties between Ghezenism and the Kerch economy, occasionally the legal system is put into the mix as well. While considering what consequences his father might face after the events of the auction, Wylan reveals this piece of information: “Knowingly entering into a false contract for the purpose of subverting the market wasn’t just illegal, it was considered blasphemy, a blight on the works of Ghezen, and the penalties were harsh,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 41). Essentially what he means by this is that not only is tampering with the economy against the law, but it is also heavily frowned upon in a religious sense, and anyone who does so will face punishment from both sides. This is extremely unique, even within the Grishaverse. This single sentence also reveals another very interesting thing about Kerch society. The market, as it exists in Ketterdam, is believed to be a creation of god - it is referred to here as being a part of the “works of Ghezen”. That, more than anything, is concrete proof of just how interconnected the economy of Kerch is with its primary religion. This also means that committing a crime such as Van Eck did isn't simply illegal (which we can assume he has no issues with), it is also an act that goes against his own religion. But stop to consider for a moment: does he really have a problem with that either?

There are numerous examples throughout both books of Van Eck blatantly abusing the values of his own religion. On its own, the teachings of Ghezenism aren't inherently bad. After all, things such as tampering with the market for your own gain are actively discouraged using the threat of blasphemy, which I'd say is generally beneficial. The issue, however, arises when Van Eck in particular attempts to twist some of these values in order to justify his own actions. If there is one single quote from the duology that exemplifies this, it would be this one: “Ghezen shows his favor to those who are deserving, to those who build cities, not the rats who eat away at their foundations. He has blessed me and my dealings. You will perish, and I will prosper. That is Ghezen’s will,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). Van Eck openly believes that, since he is a member of the upper class, he is somehow more deserving of a blessing. He is insistent that “Ghezen's will”, or what he interprets as what Ghezen wishes for him to do, is to trample others in order to further his own success. 

It doesn't matter to him who stands in his way, and it never will, because his goal is only to make himself more wealthy; he simply hides this behind a thin veil of piety. This motivation is especially clear when he is speaking to Inej while he is holding her captive. “When I leave this world, the greatest shipping empire ever known will remain, an engine of wealth, a tribute to Ghezen and a sign of his favor. Who will remember a girl like you, Miss Ghafa? What will you and Kaz Brekker leave behind but corpses to be burned on the Reaper’s Barge?” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 7). He frames people less fortunate than him - in this case Kaz and Inej - as forgettable and unimportant. The only thing he considers truly important is wealth, which he equates to power. He even references Ghezen here, claiming again that all of his actions, as well as his empire and legacy, are meant to show his dedication to his religion. He also claims that his ability to attain this level of success is a sign that Ghezen favors him. That in particular is a display of his extremely warped view of Ghezenism. The truth is that his success can only be attributed to his unethical actions, but the fact that he claims it is due to Ghezen's favor means that he will never be able to be convinced that he is wrong. He has what he believes to be an airtight justification.

His classism is also extremely evident, while indirectly, in an exchange between Kaz and Wylan earlier on in Crooked Kingdom. ““Your father much for charity?” “No. He tithes to Ghezen, but he says charity robs men of the chance at honest labor,”” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 2). This shows that Van Eck is very protective over his wealth. Which, quite frankly, is more likely than not the exact opposite of what Ghezenism is intended to promote. Based on what we are shown from an outside perspective, it seems as though one of the main aspects of Ghezenism is to create a prosperous economy for everyone. However, what Van Eck seems to believe is that he is intended to simply accumulate as much wealth as he possibly can, and keep it all for himself.

It is incredibly clear that Van Eck doesn't care about the well-being of anyone other than himself when it comes down to it. It could be argued that he cares for Alys, and will care for their child when it is born, but this simply cannot be proven. Just look at the exact mirror of this situation: Marya and Wylan. Wylan states about his parents, “I think he really loved her. They fought all the time, sometimes about me, but I remember them laughing a lot together too,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 14). If we are to believe that this is true, and Van Eck truly did love Marya, that doesn't change the fact that he didn't hesitate to send her away as soon as he discovered that Wylan couldn't read or write. There is no evidence to say that he wouldn't do the same to Alys, under similar circumstances. 

And, of course, this all leads back to the matter of Wylan. When Van Eck decided that Wylan wouldn't be useful to him, he stopped caring about him very quickly. Near the end of Six of Crows, we hear more of the specifics on Van Eck's opinion of Wylan. “I have hired the best tutors from every corner of the world. I’ve tried specialists, tonics, beatings, hypnotism. But he refused to be taught. I finally had to accept that Ghezen saw fit to curse me with a moron for a child. Wylan is a boy who will never grow to be a man. He is a disgrace to my house,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). Van Eck believes that Wylan is a curse from Ghezen, purely because he thinks that Wylan will be incapable of producing profits for their business. This is perhaps one of the most egregious examples of his blatant abuse of his own religion, because he is entirely willing to abandon and even murder his own son in order to fulfill his goals, which he claims is all Ghezen's will.

There is no feasible way Wylan would be able to grow up being raised by Van Eck, and not be affected by his religious ideas in some way. In fact, there is evidence contained in the text that proves this rather thoroughly. There are even certain things that have already been cited within this analysis that can be circled back to, such as the quote just above. This quote exemplifies the sort of treatment Wylan was subjected to while growing up. This is mostly speculation, but it's safe to assume he was told at a very young age that his own father considered him a punishment from god. That is objectively terrible, and we know that by the age of eight his father was his only parent. The psychological impacts that that would have on a child that young are unimaginable. 

Additionally, we can return to this quote from Crooked Kingdom: “When I leave this world, the greatest shipping empire ever known will remain, an engine of wealth, a tribute to Ghezen and a sign of his favor. Who will remember a girl like you, Miss Ghafa? What will you and Kaz Brekker leave behind but corpses to be burned on the Reaper’s Barge?” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 7). While Van Eck is not talking to Wylan here, and Wylan isn't even present at the time, this passage still indirectly displays Van Eck's feelings about Wylan. Here he is expressing the fact that he maintains that if a person is not able to create wealth and prosperity for themselves, they are essentially useless. As we know from the previous example, he believes this of Wylan as well.

It is evident that Wylan was taught Ghezenite values from a young age. While examining the exterior of the Church of Barter, his thoughts include this: “He didn’t need to be able to read the words engraved over the arch. He’d heard his father repeat them countless times. Enjent, Voorhent, Almhent. Industry, Integrity, Prosperity,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 31). This is confirmation that Van Eck frequently encouraged Wylan to think about these values, and it can be inferred that it likely wasn't in a particularly positive manner. Industry, integrity, and prosperity are clearly the three main ideals of this religion, and we can easily be led to the conclusion that Van Eck is certain his son is capable of none of them.

It is also suggested that Wylan may even associate his father's disapproval with religion subconsciously as well. A good example of this is in Crooked Kingdom, after Wylan is taken to the Church of Barter. “Van Eck shook his head. “Every time I think you cannot disappoint me further, you prove me wrong.” They were in a small chapel topped by a dome. The oil paintings on the wall featured battle scenes and piles of armaments,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 31). While this is also simply meant to provide the reader with a description of the environment, the juxtaposition between the two halves of this passage cannot be an accident. What we can observe here is that after Van Eck once again expresses his ever-present disappointment with Wylan, emphasis is immediately put on the fact that they are in the church. This, along with the other passages listed, creates a clear link between Wylan's negative relationship with his father and the effects that their shared religion has had on it.

What I consider to be one of the most important quotes for this subject, despite also being the shortest one used, comes near the end of Six of Crows. After Wylan has played his role in foiling Van Eck's plan to trick the Crows, he says this: “Maybe you can pray to Ghezen for understanding, Father,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). This is sort of the first act of retribution that the reader sees from Wylan. He has just made his father look like a fool, and then he practically spits in his face by taking the thing that was used against him for so long - their religion - and using it against his father instead. Not only is this moment incredibly satisfying, it also marks the beginning of Wylan's growth as a character that eventually leads to him being able to stand up to his father in more ways.

Despite being arguably the least explored Grishaverse religion in online spaces, I find Ghezenism to be extremely interesting when it comes to the ways it ties into the themes of the story. It represents wider, more general themes found throughout the book, such as the idea that people often value their own success over the well-being of others, but it contains even more when examined under a closer lens. It opens the door to a completely new aspect of further analyzing the relationship between Wylan and his father, and introduces vital elements of in-depth characterization for both of them. The way Wylan and Van Eck each view the same religion is highly indicative of their individual values, and that is a very interesting thing to expand upon. It simply goes to show just how much thought went into creating both the culture of this world, and the characters who live within it.

[henrysglock]

[Lumax voice] Turn Around, Look At What You See! In Their Face...

(If you couldn't already tell: I have finally lost all my marbles.)

I'm sure this has occurred to other people by now, but if El's memories leading up to the 4.07 monologue are ripped directly from Brenner's (<- slayful Nat post, required viewing), and she runs in to see One killing Two...then doesn't it stand to reason that that is what Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room in 1979?

Now before anyone hops in to correct me: There's definitely a version of things where Brenner finds El alone in the rainbow room after the massacre. That's not in question. We all know that happened at some point.

(Regardless of the manner of death...no broken bones or gouged eyes...okay!)

However, as I'm sure we're all aware...these guys are different guys.

(This detail has been beaten into the ground but always bears repeating)

So, what is in question is what close-up Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room.

Those duplicate memories appear to belong to close-up Brenner:

i.e. not the Brenner who runs in and sees El at the start of 4.08. (This isn't to say that that Brenner doesn't have those memories or similar ones, but he's not the Brenner whose memories are being featured. Begone, thot.)

So, arguably, if El has close-up Brenner's memories...then she should be running in and seeing what he saw, no?

So what did he see? Someone just slightly shorter than him, who walked close enough to warrant a tight shot.

That POV (as has been discussed ad nauseam by many) is far too tall to be any version of El:

But it is about the right height for someone a few inches shorter than Brenner...something like:

So, tl;dr: I want to play a clip for you.

I love choreography and camera work. That's art right there.

However, that video doesn't include the subtitling that accompanies the visuals that link El finding One to Brenner finding El:

Now, it's difficult to compare anything after this point (though not impossible, can't keep a south Wisconsin boy down. I will be using them for comparisons later)...because of course that's when weird, random blood starts appearing:

Hence, the clock is visibly frozen after that point:

This smacks, to me, of the same kind of shit that happened with 004 when the kids were bullying El—Scenes that never actually happened in the real past being spliced into a tape that cuts off and then picks back up like no time had passed/nothing had been spliced in. It makes more sense if you read the post I linked, since the video in that post makes my point clearly.

< TANGENTIALLY RELATED >

The anime nerd in me is tempted to liken this whole deal ^ to JJBA/DIO's time-stopping stand "The World" in...that's right...Stardust Crusaders, wherein DIO pause time for everyone but himself, which I'm certain others have done as well.

Tbqh...I'm still here:

Specifically a reference to The World/DIO vs Star Platium/Jotaro, both of which are time-stopping stands...(Much to think about irt Jotaro/Star Platinum developing time-stopping powers later on in terms of El, sure, but also in terms of "Everything was hard for [One]...He walked in here, and it was like something had changed. He told me he had figured it out.").

[Distant screaming as I'm forcefully prevented from going on a "Stardust Spider-Stardust Crusaders-Dio Brando-Joestar Family-Dio's Bone-Green Baby-Green, Green Grass of Home" tangent in this post...and don't get me started on DIO's regen healing/vampirism from the ancient stone mask...don't get me started on King Crimson and Golden Experience Requiem either...]

Not to mention the DIO reference with One linking this scene to (you guessed it) Edward Munson:

Edward Creel proven once again, but this time it's via goddamn JJBA and Brenner fuckery. (And yes, yes, I know about DIO the band. This ain't about her. Things can have multiple meanings. It was a Choice to associate Henward with DIO and Eddie with DIO. I rest my case.)

< ANYWAY, TANGENTS ASIDE >

As I said earlier, close-up Brenner is shot at a distance baby El could never have achieved. She passes out on the far side of the room, entirely too far away to have been anywhere near close enough for a close-up of Brenner's face, height aside.

However, ignoring the blood fuckery and disappearing gate cracks:

Some-One else has enough energy left to walk towards the doors. All the way over, in fact. So while those close-up shots are 100% out of range for post-gate baby El, they're very much in-range for 3:46 PM One.

Tl;dr: It's entirely possible, if not likely (based on the choreography and camera-work in these scenes) that close-up/angry Brenner was addressing One rather than baby El.

[animentality]

Oh my GOD, the drama that's going on at my work...

So as some of you know, I've been getting bullied by my boss, let's call her Margaret because she's like Margaret Thatcher.

A Grade A bitch.

So Margaret will give me instructions that are wildly unclear, contradictory, or vague.

I'll give you an example.

We have a project that's basically comparing policy guidance from across different federal agencies with our own, so that we can incorporate their best language into our department's policy documents.

I wrote up a word document with policy analyses for all of our chosen examples.

Margaret said, I don't like this. I can't use it. I can't read it. Change it to Microsoft excel and make it like a checklist.

So I'm like alright, makes sense, my bad.

I do that.

She then complains that it's too much like a checklist and what she wanted was a detailed analysis that she could use.

Also that she can't read excel spreadsheets because there are..."too many words."

...

So. Yeah. Too many words, huh?

So I'm like...ok...but I already did that.

And she says, no you didn't, also I asked you to focus on finishing your analyses of all the departments, not to worry about the format. The format doesn't matter.

But here's the thing right.

The FORMAT MATTERS.

SHE LITERALLY TOLD ME TO CHANGE IT BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH THE FORMAT MATTERS.

And she's starting to go off and she's beginning to yell at me here...in front of any entire team of people...and I just had to cut her off, because if I don't, she's just gonna rant at me for an hour and then hang up and neither of us will have what we want, ie, she won't have the product she's imagining (which doesn't exist apparently bc she contradicted her own wishes), and I won't have the guidance I need to make the product.

So I interrupt her and say I already did that. The analysis is done. Now it's just the format that matters.

Now, she's very angry about the interruption, because she CONTINUES to just bulldoze right over me and keep talking...

And my supervisor, let's call her Sarah, then explodes and says, "Let him talk! He's trying to explain to you what he did and you're not letting him defend himself!"

And audience.

Fellow countrymen...

I would kill for Sarah, I really would.

I was so happy to have someone speak up for me.

But anyway.

So we finish the meeting, although it's very icy and very angry.

And then Sarah calls me immediately.

And she says oh my god I'm so sorry about that, what was that BS?

And I'm like...I'm like so happy to have someone on my side that I just say thank you for standing up for me there.

And she goes into this wild ass, amazing rant and she DISHED, BOYS AND GALS AND NONBINARY PALS.

APPARENTLY, Margaret has bullied every single contractor she's EVER had.

The guy she keeps telling me to defer to?

She tried to FIRE HIS ASS like a month ago.

The guy she keeps saying is like a godsend because he's sooo helpful?

She tried to fire him in his first month.

She was also apparently so hated at her last office that she had to leave because she wasn't getting any respect. She's been shunted all over the department because no one can stand working with her.

She has such poor interpersonal skills and fails so hard at communicating that she literally has clashed with every single member of her team.

And she hates me because I'm harder to bully.

Because I know what the fuck I'm talking about and I don't let her beat me down with her backwards ass contradictory logic.

And here's the spicy drama...

Apparently when Sarah interrupted her earlier...she literally texted HER BOSS, let's call her Laura...to complain that Sarah and I are "working together" and "conspiring" against her.

because "Kai was contradicting himself and when I tried to call him out on it, he INTERRUPTED me and then Christine ENCOURAGED him to and I just thought you should know."

And I find that really fucking funny.

Because she complained to her boss...who immediately sent THAT SCREENSHOT TO THE SAME PERSON SHE WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT.

So YEAH Margaret. We ARE conspiring against you.

But you don't have any allies, as evidenced by the fact that complaining to your boss literally made her roll her eyes and say ah Margaret is at it again...to the same person that Margaret is bitching about.

Anyway.

Totally insane.

Sarah told me, you're very professional and reasonable and sweet, and honestly, I feel protective of you because you're the youngest member of the team and I know that working with Margaret might make you feel like you never want to work again...but you're honestly very good at your job and I won't let Margaret fire you...

And I was really floored by the show of loyalty...

I also laughed because she said, I don't mind taking the heat from Margaret. What's she gonna do, fire me? (She doesn't work for Margaret and is sort of lateral to her position anyway).

I'd like to see her try.

And anyway.

Anyway that was the beginning of my crazy day.

Honestly I'm just smiling.

I've never had a supervisor stick up for me as much as Sarah and I'd love to keep working for her...it's just a shame if she can't keep me from being fired by the madwoman that leads our team.

I hope she'll let me know if Margaret decides to fire me because I dared using Microsoft excel in her presence again...

I'm so sorry that when you work for the government, you sometimes have to read things...

So sorry. But what do you want me to do about it?

Why hire a writer if you're scared of reading?

[the-missann]

I've never had the chance to share this so ig I'll do it here.

So, I have a speech impediment. Yay.

Specifically a stutter and I've suffered bullying centered around my stuttering for years on end. (For some reason it was always by girls. Guys used to think my stutter was cute for some reason it's not btw).

My sutter is the prolongation of words and the block

I.e How areeeee you and I'm fin____

I wanted to share this for anyone else who's living with a stutter. I've noticed a few things.

I actually only stutter on vowels (lovely that every word has a vowel in it huh?)

I pretty much stop breathing when I talk (it's like my brain can only focus on one thing at a time)

Reading does not increase or decrease my stuttering.

I sometimes add extra words or pronounce words differently to avoid stuttering.

My stutter decreases dramatically when speaking to people who don't cut me off.

Now, I'll go through and explain them to help anyone who may have similar issues.

For 1, I noticed around four years ago that I actually only stutter on words that have a vowel sound. I sat down with myself and talked for a bit and found that every word I stuttered on, it was at the vowel sound.

Shockingly, even words that begin with a vowel sound I stutter over, I'll give details on that later.

So, the best way I've learn to handle this is to stop when I know a word has a vowel and I stutter on that word, so I'll say something like:

Everything is all ready done.

Separating them into two words seems to prevent me from stuttering.

2 might also just be my anxiety, but for the sake of this post, let's say it's not. I noticed I'm usually out of breath when I talk. I do talk fast, but I mean like I just ran a marathon out of breath from just saying a simple sentense.

The best way I can describe it is like when you're singing a song. You try and sing the full line as the singer does, but most of us haven't trained our lungs so we end up breathless by the end of it.

I still do this, but it's gotten better as I've learned to breathe from my diaphragm when I talk instead of my chest.

3 I'm really saying for anyone trying to help someone with a stutter. This does not help someone to calm their stutter. As a kid, my parents sat me down and assumed if I read aloud I would learn not to stutter, but it makes no difference.

My advice is to just be patient. That person knows they stutter, let them take their time and they'll eventually get out what they need to say. You're in no rush to hear what they say, so just let tham go at their own pace.

One last thing about this. DO NOT try and finish a sentence for them. It's bad enough we have a stutter, but if someone tries to fill in the sentence for us, our self esteem goes 📉📉.

For 4 (lol) this is a thing I developed and it works pretty well. This is the detail I was going to get into. So, sometimes I stutter over the word it, no Pennywise.

So, to stop that from happening since it is used a lot, I started saying "I T is like." Now, I don't say that in public, but I do with my family and the word is simple enough that no one is thinking too hard on what I spelled out.

But this is why I usually don't refer to things by their proper name (so if anyone here ever becomes my real friend, please know I'm not saying things wrong, I'll just stutter otherwise).

Lastly, 5. I would assume this is the same for everyone regardless if they have a stutter or not. When someone is cutting you off, it makes you rush your words, cut your words off, and stutter. So it gets worse for someone with a stutter.

I have very rarely encountered people who didn't try and cut me off because I paused to take a breath or held out a word. It's true that the anticipation of someone cutting you off sometimes makes you stutter.

I have my stutter under control a lot now, but it did take me a while to get to this point. So, for anyone out there who has a stutter, try and find out what makes your stutter tick and go from there to find ways around it.

This has been a PSA about stuttering, thank you for reading 🍂

Sorry, but last thing, since I'm a writwblr, I wanted to add how to properly write a character with a stutter.

We know t-the (repeating sound) stutter is a real one, but it's normally used for someone who's simply nervous. Someone who actually stutters would stutter at any point in time and sometimes in different ways (eg me having two versions of a stutter).

Also, know where your character's stutter comes from. Mines happens to be hereditary and environmental as I frequently get cut off and thus rush my words to get them out faster. It's also just kind of the way I am since I'm very fast paced and have a hard time "taking things slow"

It's also good to detail a tick or habit your stuttering character may have, like they stop talking and shake their head when pausing their stutter.

Oh, and it's true, cursing eliminates stuttering. There needs to be some testing done on that.

[valkerymillenia]

Finally had the appointment with the psychiatric specialist. Had to get up at 6am and go to a whole other city but I got it.

He was a guy (not the actual doctor I was supposed to see because she's on medical sabbatical). And he was nice but I am awkward with strangers and there were some things... Look, I just hate medical gender bias and there was a little here.

But most of all, there was... Some ableism?

Don't get me wrong, he was good and proper and did his job, he was also nice (and very young), but I was there for an ADHD and autism screening so I could have an official documented diagnosis and, well, there was quite a bit of gender bias about these disorders... And a significant amount of unconscious ableism too.

I'm already being treated for these things but my current doctors (psychiatrist, psychologist, and GP) don't have expertise in this area because these disorders aren't usually diagnosed in adulthood and that is their field, and this guy is the "expert" so we need his stamp on the matter just to dot the i's.

Turns out we didn't have enough time for all the tests because someone messed up and scheduled this as a follow-up appointment instead of an assessment but we made do. Here's my problem though: he only wanted to focus on the ADHD.

Also, he ignored a lot of details I was trying to put on the table but I might be reading too much into this.

According to him, yes, I definitely have ADHD and it's good that I'm already testing the medication for it but he wants to see what else he can do and if he can fix the side effects, but we didn't really have enough time for a full evaluation so he sent me home with a bunch of written tests to take so he can check them next month and have a more concise idea of my issues.

He also cut some of the older medication I had that is now obsolete with the new stuff.

I'm fine with all that. Grateful even.

But I wanted to talk about the autism diagnosis, I've been trying to approach this with doctors for years, I've desperate to be heard ever since I learned just how strongly the symptoms applied to me every since I was born, I'm been desperate ever since I discovered the gender bias in diagnosing females, I did so much research and talked to other autistic people and associations that gave emotional support, but the doctors keep brushing it off, not because they don't agree but because they literally don't want to talk about autism in general, they don't even wasn't to explain why they don't want to talk about it, the stigma is just too big.

Eventually, this is what this doc said:

"Look, autism is a spectrum and all so it's complicated. You definitely have serious autistic traits for sure but I don't think we should test you for it, there's no point because you're an adult and you've already learned coping mechanisms and masking the hard way, you struggled a lot but you're here, there's really not much else we can do help with and not much treatment we can give for this so why saddle you with a bad label?"

Like, it's so ableist. He totally missed the point? I told him I don't really care about what treatment they can give me, I just want confirmation because:

1. there's safety in labels, much more comforting to know I'm normal zebra and not a failed horse,

2. having the diagnosis gives me access to more information and a better ability to find good coping mechanisms and helpful tools for my daily life,

3. having the diagnosis allows me to find community and get mutual help and support without judgement,

4. having an official diagnosis helps me get certain amenities (or at least understanding) to make my life easier, be it with work or family life, even with social security or at certain events,

5. and finally, just because I survived my childhood without a label and found a way to blend in with neurotypicals doesn't mean that's a good thing (I was horribly bullied and abused for a reason), it doesn't mean that I'm currently happy pretending to be what society expects, doesn't mean it's not fucking exhausting, doesn't mean I don't deserve validation for my struggles.

But noooo, his whole focus was on "we can't medicate to FIX it so why bother" and on "what people would think of you if you had that label".

Bitch, I don't care about either of those, I don't care what people think of me, I care what I think of me, and autistic is not a slur, contrary to what people in this country seem to think! I just want to understand myself and my own struggles, and whenever I get harassed for being different I want to be able to defend myself with this knowledge.

For fucks sake, just test me and show some support!

I stg the doctors in this country are so scared of the word "autism", it's insulting.

[mlmvoreconfessionals]

Hey I saw your Link belly bullying ask! I was hoping we could get some more of that good stuff since it seemed you had a lot of detailed ideas, with weight gain as well please.

Oh I’d love to do more with that. I'll use the other characters I had ideas for. Sorry if these are a bit too long though--I'd formate them as stories if it was feasible to break them up more. But due to length, I'll stuff these under a read more.

"Your highness, I must insist that you reconsider--!" Sharp teeth clamp down before the face of the pleading Z.ora and a resounding gulp sends him down the hatch. The face bulges out S.idon's neck before disappearing past his chest. His belly gains another notch as he aids yet another of his many subjects to his bubbling, boiling tank--a sloppy belch rumbles out of his jaws, making his face flush red. "O-Okay...that's...about half of my staff, five R.ito, three H.ylians, and--BWWWWOOORP!--ugh...one Lynel..." He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, feeling his stomach bounce and shake as all of his meals kick around inside. "Are you finally satisfied with seeing the capacity of Z.ora royalty, L.ink?" He tries to peer past his stomach to see his friend, who had been pestering him all day since he'd read some texts explaining the dietary habits of the royal Z.ora family, but S.idon's stomach is so massive that he can't seem to. "L.ink, are you still there? Please don't tell me you left me while I'm like this." After a few seconds of silence, S.idon feels two hands push down hard on his stomach. His eyes widen as a massive belch roars out of him, making the steelwork of their kingdom shake under his feet. His entire face goes red as he lets loose for nearly twenty seconds. When it finally stops, he puts his hands over his mouth and he can hear L.ink laughing just out of view. "L-L.ink! That wasn't funny!" Completely flustered now, S.idon moves without thinking and swings his heavy stomach forward. It hits L.ink and he can hear a yelp as he knocks the hero off his feet and onto the floor. Before the man can get up, that large gut is on top of him, smothering him into the floor. After such a big belch, his stomach is stretched tightly, showing off the bulges of his still live meals struggling inside of him--a few of the softer ones had folded from how constricting it got in there and are little more than a bubbling slop in the bottom of his gut. S.idon can feel L.ink struggling under him but his stomach is far too heavy to move. The prince crosses his arms with a frown. "If you want to act like a child, then I'll treat you like you. You can sit under there and think about what you did. I'll let you up once I've finished processing all of this food you convinced me to eat." He can feel L.ink continue to struggle against his stomach but he leans forward on it and quickly puts an end to that. In reality, S.idon did quite enjoy letting loose and pigging out like this. The tightness of his gut, the heavy groans and churns of it chugging along, the sense of power feeling all that live prey struggling inside of him--it's all so addictive, even for such a friendly guy. What he didn't appreciate was being L.ink's plaything and the butt of his jokes, so it's only fair for the price to get the upper hand. His powerful stomach only took another hour to process everything inside, and while he's no stranger to live meals, he hasn't indulged quite like this before. S.idon's normally lean stomach now hangs heavy before him, so much so that he can still use it to keep L.ink smothered under it. The muscles he's gained from so much swimming have been smothered under squishy, soft chub that's left his arms and legs and hips much thicker than before. Even the sharp features of his face have rounded out somewhat. S.idon finally rises to his feet, his stomach wobbling as he does. L.ink is splayed out on the floor, his expression dazed. The prince feels a bit bad for him but doesn't want to think L.ink has gotten off so easily, so he keeps on the stern expression. "I hope that was an enlightening experience for you, L.ink. While you're catching your breath, I must step out." He tries to keep some kind of regalness to his leave but the groaning of his bowels makes him rush a bit. There are plenty of deep caves far underwater he can get to--he'll have to leave the mass of waste he's built up in one of them. He'd be absolutely devastated if anyone could find something so...unbecoming of him.

"That's it...it's time for...my secret technique!" This was Master K.ogha's final gambit to destroy L.ink. With a throw of his hand, a scrap of paper flies up into the air above him, exploding in a huge puff of smoke to reveal...nothing. Kohga was still for several seconds before he starts flailing his arms again. "H-Hey, which of you numskulls forgot to replace my secret technique?!" L.ink comes charging in with his sword, with K.ohga barely manages to avoid. Now he's getting a bit panicked. He needs something big and unstoppable to crush this annoying pest! If he doesn't have his secret technique and those useless clan members couldn't slow him down then...wait, that's it! K.ohga disappears from sight and reappears farther away, his fist full of the scraps of paper he uses to summon things. He crams them all into his mouth and swallows hard. L.ink wasn't wasting any time in this and comes charging after the Y.iga Clan leader again, ready to attack him. But right as he gets close, the man's stomach suddenly expands. L.ink got out a shocked cry before he's knocked down and suddenly covered. K.ohga's stomach was about as big as he was but much, much wider. His outfit was made to be stretchy, so it has no trouble containing and morphing to his gut, which is now stretched out over a lot of Y.iga members. K.ohga pants a bit as he adjusts to the sudden heavy weight in his stomach, but once he does, he starts laughing with his hands resting on his hips. "Spectacular! How's that for a secret technique, hm, hero?" He leans forward on his stomach, grinding against it just to make sure it's really rubbing into L.ink down below. He can feel the H.ylian trying to move, but the immense weight seems to be making that difficult. K.ohga throws his head back for another victory laugh but it ends up coming out as a massive belch instead. He's sent plenty of unqualified and downright useless Y.iga members down the hatch before--he had to get that pot belly from somewhere--but this was far more than he's ever done before. He uh...honestly hadn't expected this to work. But now nothing but confidence is oozing from him. "We'll see how long you survive against such a mighty stomach, hero! And I'll be able to put these Y.iga rejects to some actual use now. I'm sure they'll be more than pleased to know their lives were given in the efforts to destroy you!" Another belch belts out of him, sending a mask flying from his maw. The men down in his gut were still winded from L.ink's crusade through their hideout, so most of them can do little more than sit back and let their master's stomach process them all at once. K.ohga took no breaks in mocking and boasting to L.ink over the sounds of his churning guts. They slowly lose their form, all those bulges becoming softer and less defined until his gut is a massive, round beast. As it pumps sludge deeper through him, his body expands, growing thicker and heftier with the added weight of so much live prey. He was already a bit out of shape, but his new body would make the old him look like a model. His thighs press together now with all the added heft. His ass is stretching out his suit so much that each cheek is left well defined. His stomach goes from a mild beer gut to a heavy beer keg that hangs past his waist naturally. His arms get thicker and softer and his chest gains visible moobs. His mask even looks smaller now that his cheeks are starting to poke around the edge. K.ogha made sure his gut was pressed right over L.ink face until he noticed it had finished its processing. He gets back to his feet triumphantly and...he's still alive?! L.ink is breathing heavily now that K.ohga's stomach has been moved off of him and he's sweating from the heat but he's undoubtedly alive. "Oh, so you think you think you're sooo strong, huh? I'll show you!" His stomach lets out a low, deep groan. "...a-after a bathroom break." He looks around before going over to the deep pit in the center of the arena. Once he drops off these rejects, he'll get some more. He'll do this as many times as it takes to defeat the hero!

"Are you...sure about this?" K.ass asks with a twinge of hesitation. The traveling minstrel is no stranger to a good, squirming meal. R.ito are natural predators, after all, and with how dangerous the lands are and how sparse civilization can be, he's quite used to guzzling down whatever unfortunate soul crosses his path during meal times. This was the first time he'd done so in such...excess, however, and for money. But that blond H.ylian that he's taken a liking to--enough of one not to devour him at least--had offered him quite the bundle of rupees for a simple task--eat the folks staying at the stable he was resting at. It was rather easy, even as his stomach got heavier and bigger, to snap up every last person hanging around. And now they're inside the tent, his blue stomach stretched wide over lots of squirming meals. But L.ink's next request is what's actually making him hesitate. The H.ylian just smiles and nods and, although still a little hesitant, K.ass fulfills his wishes. He grips the bottom of his gut in both large hands, grunting with the effort of lifting it up. He moves to stand right over L.ink and then lets it go. It slams down onto the H.ylian with a loud slosh, also knocking a rather wet belch out of the R.ito. All that movement seems to have upset the occupants because they're getting very noisy and squirming but it doesn't so much to upset the bird's stomach. Instead, he's still concerned over his companion. "Are you alright down there, H.ylian?" He tilts his head a bit, trying to see if any part of L.ink is still visible to him. He feels shifting under his stomach and hands pushing into his feathered gut. "Ah, good. I suppose it was silly to doubt you. Well, you just relax down there, and if you need any air, try to let me know." Maybe they should have figured out a signal for that first but...oh well. K.ass picks up his accordion from off the floor and begins to play it, humming to himself as the music mixes with the heavy sounds of his gut. Perhaps subconsciously, K.ass would occasionally lean forward on his stomach, making the noises come out louder while further pressing his stomach into L.ink. But overall he's lost in his music, his body busily breaking down all the people inside as he plays. His normally thick figure gets a lot thicker as all the chub from such a binge packs on, further thickening his large arms and adding some additional weight to his legs and ass. His face gets fuller and rounder and his belly becomes a beast of its own, hanging off of him as a great mass. His feathers only help make it even softer though, which L.ink got to experience once that chugging gut rounded out all those rough lumps. When K.ass finished playing, his stomach had quieted down, mostly finished with its heavy meal. L.ink is fast asleep when he moves his stomach and it's grown dark outside. "My, that late already? Well...I suppose we can stay here for the night." He sets his accordion aside again and rubs his stomach, feeling how easily it molds to the touch of his wing. "And I'll make sure you all have a final resting place as well. I'm sure there's a nice ditch for you all to rest in." He heads out of the tent, confident that no beasts will try to bother him tonight. Once he returns, he'll be able to get a good night's sleep with that H.ylian. And perhaps, when they meet again, he'll have another payment for another large meal.

[lagotu]

2: Training, and former companions

A/N: I'm posting two pieces today, please take a look at them first.

"That's all for today's training! Please disperse and take a rest!"

From the training field in the castle's courtyard, a dignified and elegant voice rang out. In the field's center, there was a beautiful woman with a big, firm breastplate, a knight-errant's skirt, and flowing blue hair. The voice that rang through the training ground belonged to that woman.

Elka Verso―That’s the woman's name.

It's been almost a week since my class started training.

Even those who couldn't shoot magic properly have been growing into excellent magicians. They have a lot of potential, and they've grown very quickly to match.

The one who raised them up is Elka, the beautiful blue-haired knight.

She is a magical warrior and a respectable woman, whose youthful appearance seems incongrous with her position as the head of the castle's soldiers. All the boys fell in love with her at first sight, and I've even overheard girls calling her "big sister" when she's not there.

See, Elka... she's actually a former friend of mine.

I knew her as Ice Earth Demon Swordsman Elka―she was so fearsome in battle that she had two names.

Actually, that's one of the things I can't figure out.

Why is Elka in charge of our education? She should have been at the front lines of the war. Is there some reason...?

―Well, there's no point in thinking about it too much now, instead of what's right in front of me. Thanks to her being my classmates' instructor, they'll grow stronger.

I don't care about them, but I also don't particularly want them to die, so it's good that they're less likely to die. And it would also be convenient if they were strong enough to protect Yuuhi so I wouldn't have to worry about that.

I joined my classmates in returning to the sleeping quarters. As I was about to enter my room, a familiar guy put his hand on my shoulder.

"Yo, Necroyuki, come hang out with us today."

It was Endo the bully and his cronies.

I tried my best to hold back a sigh as I let them lead me to the usual spot.

"Hey!"

"..."

Endo's foot, strengthened by magic, kicks me in the stomach.

This shady spot behind the castle wasn't often visited. Think of it like the back of a modern gymnasium.

As soon as the kick hit my stomach, I flinched exaggeratedly and slammed myself into the castle wall. I made an expression of agony, and groaned as naturally as possible.

It didn't hurt, or even itch, but the bullies, fooled by my acting, contorted their faces in amusement.

"We're lucky we have such a good punching bag! You guys should use it too!"

"Ha!"

"It's just the thing to test out the magic we've been practicing!"

These guys take advantage of the fact that no one is watching and start beating the shit out of me.

This has been going on for a few days now, and I've been having a hard time keeping up.

In order to show off my helplessness, I have to go out of your way to pretend that I'm being attacked. I use my own magic to scorch the areas hit by the fireballs, and take advantage of the opportunity to hit the areas where they hit to make it look like bruises. It's frustrating to some extent, but in order to be properly recognized as useless, this kind of detail work is necessary.

When they were done, the Endo family (heh), relieved of their stress, cast a minimal healing spell on me and left.

As soon as the pain subsides, I go back. But no matter how many scars appear on my body, the people around me don't say anything. Yuuhi might have been worried about me, but unfortunately I haven't seen her around lately.

...

The class core members, led by Kouma, are about one head stronger than the other classmates. They're being given special instruction by Elka herself. Their sleeping rooms are in a different section of the castle, so we never see each other at the end of training, only when we do this in the gymnasium. I guess Kouma must be doing well, since his name often comes out of Elka's mouth.

"Hey! Let's try a new technique today!"

“Seriously, Endo!”

"Go! Go!"

Oops, I almost forgot. A ball of red-hot flames is forming in Endo's hands as he chants with great enthusiasm. Huh, is that an arranged fireball technique?

"Let's go! Corona Ball!"

The released magic comes towards me with a considerable amount of heat.

Although the size of the ball is small, the amount of heat is huge. If it hits, it might even burn my skin.

I was about to relax my body to see if I could catch it, when-

The Endo's Ball (heh) froze in front of me.

"What?"

Endo was taken aback and made a dumbfounded sound, but I knew who the culprit was.

"If you guys are going to cause trouble, I want you to do it while I'm watching."

"Ah, Miss Elka..."

Determined demon swordsman Elka. Cold air emanated from her hands, chilling the ball.

The origin of the Ice Earth Magic Swordsman's name is that, as you can see, she is an expert in the ice type. She's quite skilled as a swordsman, but her true strength lies in ice magic.

“What are you going to do now, Endo?

"Tch...I'll be back," he directed at me, and to "Miss" Elka- "Sorry, I was just messing around."

“I see. Be more careful in the future, okay?”

"Okay. Come on guys, let's go."

"Ah, yeah."

"Oh…"

The three of them return to the castle. They're actually listening to Elka! It's refreshing.

Well, I have to thank her.

"Thank you very much."

"It's fine. But from now on, I want you to take care of yourself, because I don't have any free time for this."

…oh?

"Why don't you put in some effort to become a little stronger? I'm sure there are ways to do it, such as training your body. I'd like you to at least get to a point where I don't have to intervene again."

…oh? Oh?

"If you can't fight, please don't start any trouble. This country can't afford it at the moment."

Ohoho...in other words, there is no room for incompetence...

Kuhahaha... my slave Elka, is that what you're saying now?

I ' l l t e l l y o u w h a t...

"Kuhaha... hahaha..."

"What's wrong? What's so funny?"

"-You've become so high and mighty, haven't you?"

"Huh!? Kyaah!!"

A sudden gust of wind shook Elka's blue hair and lifted her body into the air.

I jumped in and carried Elka on my shoulders like I'm carrying a shrine, pinning her to my shoulder with my arm.

"What! What are you doing!! Let go!!"

"A slave who talks to her Master like that... needs punishment!”

“What did you say――――Hin!!”

My hand slapped Elka's butt, which was next to her face, as hard as I could.

Pan! Pan! Pan!

I flip up her skirt and slap her beautifully round butt.

"Higi! Doing something like this...nngh!' You can't get away with this... nhi!"

"Don't you remember yet?! This is what I do to you!"

I put even more force into my striking hand.

It's been a while so I've forgotten how much force to use, but gradually my abilities are coming back and I'm starting to be able to hit like I always did.

"This...ah! The way you hit me...hi! I didn't expect it...hi!"

“Oh? You finally remembered, pervert Elka?

"Ah!! Master Setsu!! ------nhiin!!"

As a reward for remembering, I gave her one last smack as hard as I could.

She started convulsing and became quiet, but as soon as I lowered her to the ground and let her rest, she regained her senses.

“M-Master Setsu! I was so lonely!? The days when you don’t hit me have been really hard!”

I cover Elka's noisy mouth with my hand.

"Ah! Shut up, shut up me!! It's bad to talk..."

"Phaha!! It's true!! When I heard that I was forcibly deported by this country's power, I really thought about what I should do..."

When I let go of my hand and let her speak, her expression fell darker as she spoke.

"―I was worried about you, I'm home."

“Welcome home― Master Setsu!”

I hug Elka.

I haven't felt this way in a long time. Like I've finally returned to this world.

"Hehe...it's been five years since I've smelled Master Setsu...hehe."

...You ruined... this moment...

“Punishment!!”

"Aaanh! Please stop grizzling my head!!"

"Here, I would like to tell you some information about Elka Verso that no one else knows.

“You serious-looking pervert!”

“Please stop grinding!― Huh? It feels a bit... good...”

She is a natural in this world,

a natural pervert.

A/N: I think perverted girls are wonderful, what do you think?

[oc-aita]

AITA? (Sorry in advance that this is long)

My (?14) best friend H (M15) and I had been friends for 3 years now, but we'd gone to different schools the whole time. He didn't know my classmates, family, or other friends, and I counted that as a blessing.

I'm your stereotypical 'mean girl' type at school. Or at least, I'm friends with those girls. I'm mostly just complacent in their bullying. But I've allowed, ignored, and excused all kinds of shit ever since we were little. Mostly they're just badmouthing kids, but there's other aspects, too. I won't go into too many details, but if you know anything about the social hell that is bullying, you can guess a sample of the stuff that happens. I will say in my defense personally that at least I don't let them be particularly awful? Like, yeah, we're unkind, screwed up people to the kids my friends deemed as 'targets', but the particularly vile shit my friends try to say to them always gets my explicit condemnation.

I don't like being mean, I consider myself a nice person internally, but I'm actually stuck with my friend group. I have a controlling dad who wants me to act a certain way and hang with certain people, and even my friendship with H is highly secretive and behind his back, despite his flawless reputation and general fitting-the-bill of a guy my dad might allow me around. I've only ever expressed once that my friends are kinda mean (understatement, I know), and my dad freaked out at me. In short, I'm not allowed to not be friends with them. I'm not even allowed to be nice to their targets against their will.

I told H that once I entered his high school (he's a grade ahead of me) that he was going to think differently of me once he met my friends, but he brushed me off, saying he knew what kind of person I was and that nothing could be that bad. I tried to argue, but he assured me otherwise and dropped the subject. But due to a long series of contrivances, myself, H, and two of the kids my friends target most often, who will be known as R (F15) and C (M15) from here on, have been working together on what's effectively a series of projects, and will be for a while. R is our team leader, and C is her right hand man. They both fucking hate me, and I don't blame them at all.

R's pretty non-confrontational, and tries her best to keep everyone civil. She doesn't like me in the slightest, but doesn't want to have the team dogpile me for it, because she's really just too nice for her own good. We communicate as we have to, and that's that. C, however, makes it very clear to everyone that he never intends to forgive me or act as if I've been anything but awful to him - even though I haven't said pretty much anything personally, I'm sort of the de facto face of my friendgroup, which is more than bad enough. I won't act like he's even a little unjust for it, and honestly I deserve every word and more for never standing up for him, R, and everyone else.

At first H just assumed he was just holding some meaningless grudge and assumed C was a spiteful, shallow person, but after enough time I told H that he really should talk to C about why he dislikes me so much. For a while I didn't hear anything about the topic, but a couple days ago H called me, pissed off. He explained that C had told him all the things I'd overseen my friends do and say to him, as well as listed every instance of my direct interactions with him and R. To my surprise, I also learned of the things my friends had done when I wasn't there - and I was appalled. They were even worse when I wasn't around. They were vitriolic, cruel, and even took physical actions against them. To make a long story short, they once even broke something of C's that was really, really important knowing it would be hard to replace as well as expensive for his low-income family. I did my best to explain that I never would have approved of such a thing, as well as why I'm around those kinds of people at all, but H said that I was just making excuses and that, clearly, since I was friends with him, my dad can't control me as much as I act like. I wanted to point out that my dad knows my friends' parents and stuff like that, but he wouldn't let me, and I'm honestly not sure he's wrong about that anymore. Maybe I just assumed I was as powerless against my dad as I'd felt? I can't say. Either way, he told me my behavior was deplorable regardless of my explicit actions, and that he didn't feel like he could talk to me anymore for the time being outside of project work.

Am I the asshole for how I handled the situation? I know how R and C were treated is fundamentally wrong, but is there anything better I could have done?

[alyszaen]

Venting about some things I need to process TW: mentions of self-harm, relapse, mental health, sexual assault and death-threats

I feel like I need to get this off my chest in detail. I'll never process it if I don't.

Ce was my friend. She was my best friend. She was the girl I trusted with everything. She knew all my deep and dark secrets. This was primary school. When my bully started telling me I was ugly and worthless, she was there for me. Except she told An about it behind my back. She laughed about me behind my back. Ce, you were my best friend, but I was never yours.

Al was my friend. She was there with me when my bully threattened to kill me. She went to the self defense class with me, so I wouldn't need to be alone. We had a dynamic, no matter how much we fought you were there. But when you failed the classes you switched schools and never reached out again. I missed you.

Me was my friend. She was not in my class, but in the same year. We were the best little group, with her classmates in there. But whenever they hung out they didn't invite me. I wanted to be close to them, but they never let me into the last border. You didn't want me.

Em was my friend. She was her own kind of disturbed, but we vibed so well. She promised me I could get drunk this time and she'd protect me. Yet when he touched me she dismissed me and said "It's cool he does this." If I hadn't yelled at him and made him drive home drunk I would have been raped that night. You broke your promise. You would have let him. You made me self-harm.

Si was my friend. He was the person I told about everything. He was my trusted person when all the others left me. He knew my triggers. He knew I couldn't handle rape-jokes yet made them a lot. When Le joined the group and kept mistreating me and I told Si about it, he told everyone about how much of a "pussy" I was being. You lied to me.

Al was my friend. He was the one that told me what Si was doing. He was the one that picked me back up when I fell. We watched shows together daily, healing together. I was the first person you told about your date. I cheered you on the loudest. When she asked you to distance yourself you did it without question. You left me alone, after you knew how hard it was for me to trust anyone. You chose to ignore me and treat me like I didn't exist, after everything you knew. You made me relapse.

Ja was my friend. She was easier to trust because she was online. She was mute and never turned on her camera, but our messages meant so much. I felt like I was finally being understood. Until it turned out that she lied about getting into accidents. She was a pathological liar. She was a guy acting like a girl to get close to me. You made me incapable of trusting people that don't turn on their audio.

Di was my friend. He was a trusted person. It took me a year to open up to him. And when I finally fully did I felt safe. He was there for me through every hardship that followed. He was the one that actually got me to finally get diagnosed and medicated. But he started to make rape-jokes. And when I distanced myself to not get hurt again, he got mad. He spread rumors. He attempted to have me murdered. He told our friends he'd like to rape my dead body. You broke the last trust I had in anyone.

I can't trust anyone. You can say you are not going to leave me as often as you want, I'll never be able to believe you. I still give a general trust so easily. I still get attached so easily. But I'll never be able to give you that last bit of trust. I'll always be stuck on 80%. Too many people I trusted betrayed me. Too many people I thought had my back were the ones stabbing it. I try to be kind. I try to make everyone feel welcome. I try to be there for anyone who needs it. I try to be the shoulder to lean on. Because I don't want this to happen to anyone else. My heart aches at the thought that someone would be betrayed so often that they can't trust anymore.

8 friends. 8 BEST friends. 8 people I would have trusted with my life. 8 people that hurt me beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

[satohqbanana]

Satoh's Personal Comment-a-thon Part 3

About this new series/project: Since not a lot of people comment on my works, I’ll do it myself. :3 I aim to help myself get better by getting more conscious of how I write. One of the ways that I feel like I can accomplish this is to reread my works and post comments here. This not only helps me improve my craft but also promote my works.

Title: The Stink

Summary: Divorced from a Veldtonian?! How???

Warnings: Talks about body odor and an implied gross-out situation

Comments: It's time for ANOTHER review so here we go.

Off the bat, the author's note makes me smile. This is essentially a story about side characters. And I managed to still make it very interesting.

I find it amusing that Derez remembers Rhen and Lars coming by themselves into his shop some time ago to get some cool gear, and they are also polite enough to introduce their companions to him.

Right away, Derez finds a way to mention his little story. I have a stinking (ha) suspicion that he noticed Elini first, realized that it is a prime time to tell his stinky story and further "befriend" his patrons, and found a way to segue into that conversation. He's such a sly one!

I see a lot of online spaces where people who identify as women mention how much they hate men and all these aspects about them, but somehow I never see anybody mention body odor, which in real life I know is a huge turn-off. I guess not a lot of people discuss this in fiction, and even if they do, they have to also mix in stuff about bullying, gross-out, sexuality, and so on. I appreciate myself being able to talk about it in a way that would be more tasteful and light-hearted without leaning too hard on comedy.

Even the way I had Derez discuss the whole ordeal, including what seems to be Ilya's harmful behaviors, is I think quite tasteful. I love his voice, and I love the choices he made when telling his story. He doesn't go into unnecessary detail. He's not upset enough at her or their former relationship to trash her name, but he's clearly delighted by all of what had happened so far and he wants to share that, well, it is possible to annoy someone to the point of getting what you want.

And, of course, I adore having the guys of the party become very self-conscious of how they smell like after Derez' little speech. Smell is not something that is easy to hide, after all.

Finally, the reveal occurs through Lars, who had the opportunity to talk to Ilya. Like the last line says, that explains some things.

Overall, while I don't think a lot of people would've liked this, I like it. It's got that touch of realistic life situations TM in a light-hearted scenario. Solid 10/10 for me!

[curejiraiya]

Episode 1 of Knick's somewhat nightly OC lore, today's OC is my boy Derrin!

I don't remember his last name, you'll find that a lot of my OC details I either can't remember or have placeholder names that have been placeholders for 10+ years. I don't really need to give them real names unless I was to make some official work or something, so I don't.

Anyway, Derrin is 26, his birthday is June 21st. He's been married to his husband Jay (they took Derrin's last name) for 5 years. Derrin is grayace or somewhere on the ace spectrum I haven't thought too hard about labels because Derrin is the kind of guy who wouldn't want a precise label. He's approximately 5'5 which makes him pretty short, but probably the median height of FIF members.

FIF is the band my OCs are all either in or have their life revolve around. It stands for Funeral in Flames. I made up this band name when I was 12 years old don't laugh. Nowadays I pretty much always call them FIF pronounced like the beginning of Fifth. (This is a lie I called them funeral in flames maybe 5 times while writing this and had to go back and fix it while I'm spell checking, but I cringe at their name. Maybe I'll tell you what it's from someday)

His hair is dark reddish brown and straight, and he keeps it short but not buzzed. He dresses the most formally of all my OCs, think like sweater vests and button downs at all time. Derrin is the only member of FIF to actually finish college, but it took him like 7 years on and off. He has a law degree that he only got this past January, and he finally took the BAR over the summer. (I don't know how law degrees work but however they work assume he did those things.)

Derrin is a first generation American to two Filipino parents. Both his parents died when he was 10 in a car accident and he became an orphan, because all good OCs deserve a tragic backstory. Because of this he regrets not knowing much about his parents culture, despite his parents both speaking Tagalog they did not teach him. They distanced him from their culture so he wouldn't be bullied growing up in America, and he regrets not asking them to teach him about their past because now he just doesn't know.

Derrin got his law degree to help out a charity he helped found that helps first generation American orphans. He started it when he was only 19. It's not only him though and at this point he's more of a speaker and a figurehead then an active worker, but he didn't know that's how it was gonna be when he started his degree like 7 years ago.

Because all my characters need a huge character flaw, his biggest flaw is his multi year battle with alcoholism. He was introduced to drinking at a concert when he was just 15 and unlike the rest of his friends he quickly developed a bad relationship with alcohol and drugs in general. Just recently like within the past month he returned from the third rehab stay of his life, and though he thinks he's finally clean; for the sake of me continuing his story he's probably not. Sorry man.

Derrin also writes a lot of poetry in his free time, one of two FIF members to do so. He currently plays drums or keyboards in the band depending on the song, they switch who's playing what a lot. Most of the songs FIF writes are co-written by Derrin and Chris with the other 5 members giving less but still always some input. Derrin isn't an incredibly strong musician like Chris is, but after doing it for so many years (he joined the band at 14) he's gotten pretty good and knowing what kind of music sells. He's also an amazing lyricist, and within the bands fandom they say anytime their lyrics are poetic and complex Derrin probably wrote them.

I could talk a lot more about the band itself and its history and rise to fame, but maybe another time.

My OCs world has a magic system, but I don't have to explain it right now because Derrin is the only one of my OCs that isn't a magician whatsoever. He helps when they do like "magic tasks" but he's almost always the guy who tells innocent bystanders to get the fuck out of the way, and not anything more.

He did end up being a guide to a lot of non human magical beings (god ill explain them another time too ig, or maybe I'll never post about this again who knows) but it sort of happened by coincidence. A lot of them look up to him though, and when nothing else is going on he'll hold little "learn to be human" classes for the magical guys. He definitely doesn't do any of that alone, but he also serves as a figure head for this because he's the only one in the friend group who's a non magician, and that makes him interesting and weird to all the magical beings.

I hope that paints a small picture of Derrin! He's a good boyo, him and his husband have a really cute relationship dynamic where he's the stereotypical husband and his husband fits the wife role more, but his husband is 5'11 and built. It's cute.

Also out of all my OCs Derrin is one of two that would have a Tumblr, but Derrin is the one who's most tumblr-kin, like the "I unironically said the shoelace thing when I was 16" kinda Tumblr user. You know?

[koutaroulogy]

ITTO? MORE LIKE TITTO! (arataki itto x reader)

contains: us bullying his tits. his tiddies. his biddies. his man boobies. his g cup boobies. his breasts.

details: he's shy about it. you would know. you were a virgin once too.

real warnings: mild dubcon, misogyny, deflowering, breeding, bulging, tits, more tits, pregnancy mentions, tit-smacking, oni knots, knotting, first rate tits, s-class tits, teasing, a bit of degradation because why not, did i mention tits already?

notes: betaed. thank you sol @xianoii , this is for u and ur gorgeous collab. lurv you always! sorry if this is vvy late but i wanted the best !

his upper clothes flew across the room. "you got these out in the open all the time! are you trying to whore yourself out? you minx!" your cruel laughter resounded through his eardrums like a vice. he wants to be really mad at you, but your hand on his teat is making him hard for it to do so.

"s-stop that!" he thrashed. you clicked your tongue.

"no can do 'taki. i'm trying to help you aren't i? lift those up with your hands f'me!"

he thrashed again. you did it for him instead, quickly straddling his wide chest like a saddle. he's too kind to throw you off like a ragdoll yet he's too rough to sit still.

stupid. he's so stupid. he wanted a wife, he's getting a wife.

you clicked your tongue again, grinding over his boner. he grunted when he caught a glimpse of your pussy that had been covered by your yukata, shiny with slick. "your tits are spilling out. what are you, some kind of hostess from the red light district? no wonder people think so dirty of you!"

"better let go of me before i make you," itto growled.

"big talk for a guy who's a virgin," his member strained, a wet stain showing as precum flitted through the fabric of his jinbaori.

"don't-!" itto practically wailed when you pulled his trousers down.

your mouth took its words back. "archons..."

you're practically drooling. he's huge, absolutely huge that his length's practically reached your belly button. little spikes formed underneath the skin of his cock while the crown was already out of its hood, slit leaking precum.

it looks to be at a good twelve inches, you thought absentmindedly while your fingers flitted around his cock hole, causing him to cry out at the sudden sensation. won't he impale you with that thing? oh well. trial and error as they say.

"hey, can i suck your dick? oh right, you didn't have anyone who did it for you!" he's practically mortified, blushing and dick twitching untouched. "you're so sensitive and i'm not even touching you- how cute ♡!"

your palm feels so soft, he thinks. his nails dig into his fists and you notice the action. he might be nervous, but that's okay. weren't we all at our first time?

"don't worry, 'taki. you have the prettiest dick in the whole world."

you looked up when there was no reply. the oni was covering his head with his arm. you think he still had the gall to be embarrassed when he swings his tits around in public. you reach his hand only to hear him sniffle.

ah, so he was crying.

"'m sorry i'm being mean. i won't do it anymore," you cooed. you had every intention to tease him, degrade him for his soft heart.

but even oniis can cry too.

you hopped off his abused tits, coaxing him to stop crying. hiccups remained.

"it's just-" he wipes his tears and you frown, waiting, "this is my first time so-"

you jumped on to your knees, spreading your legs and letting the yukata that had been covering you fell, revealing your naked form prominently. his cock twitched as he stared wide-eyed at the pink muscles clenching and unclenching while you held your pussy lips open for him to see.

"i'll let you take me yourself, if you're that nervous."

arataki's hands are big and clumsy, trying to slip his dick inside yet failing at it, pretty much slicking you up with precum as his lube. you aplaud him for the natural talent he had but didn't know of. itto holds his girth instead, letting the hardened penis slip slowly into your inner muscles.

"oh," you almost came. he's stretching you out so much he's practically adjusting your pussy to fit his size.

"t-tight..." he grunts.

"feels so good, so big you're g'nna split me open," you mewled and watched him thrust slowly as if he's taking his time. you twisted your hips teasingly and watched him grit his teeth.

his patience brewed thinner than ever, and the thread snapped as he found himself pulling out and flipping you over, cock resting on your belly and grazing you with its little spikes. he shoved it in like an animal as your eyes widened, your lips pouting in surprise while you swore.

"yeah? you like that huh? you fit around me so perfectly!" he smiled all while he's fucking you and he's hitting you in the right places. your eyes crossed, your fists bunching up the futon underneath you while he rocked into your cunt.

the tables are turned, and the oni has grown confident. as you're busy losing yourself to the throes of pleasure, feet moving up to rest across his back and it makes you stick closer to him while he's fucking you up into the high heavens- he takes this moment to observe you.

legs on his shoulders, cute little pudge jiggling on your stomach and arms as you rocked back and forth along with him; nails digging and creating lines along his broad back, lips swollen and eyes tearing up from the feeling of it all.

you look absolutely divine.

"i'm gonna cum-!" your cries spurred him on. oh, oh. you're so pretty he's gonna die looking at you just like this.

how about babies? a whole fuckin' litter of chubby oniis?

he can't really lie. he really wants to envision you swelling in all the right places with his children.

"go on baby, you can take it. take all my cum like a good wife, yeah? hah, fuck... "

you gagged. you could feel him hitting your cervix. he could feel it too. just a little more and he's going to slip in your womb and give you a reason to stay at home and be the wife he always wanted you to be.

"fuck, fuck, fuck!" your whining made him growl and keel his head to settle in between your neck and shoulder. the knot that had been steadily growing ballooned in your pussy, locking in his cock that remained thrusting inside until he felt himself burst.

your tummy poked, you could feel yourself bulge. he's panting, settling inside your cunt while his cock softens and makes its home inside your pussy that's next to overflowing, nestling in your womb like it was his second nature to do so.

"'m gonna fill you up real good," he's cooing and he's thrusting again. you respond with a mewl, eyes crossed and lips pursed between your teeth, "gonna give you a baby like i always wanted, sweet wife."

itto panted, white seed still painting the insides of your pussy raw. confidence glimmers amidst his lust filled eyes.

"that's a good cunt, darlin'. a real good cunt to have my babies in."

[sayahs-corner]

Fanfiction by Sayah

Boy do I love me some Stony, but I try not to limit myself to any one ship.

I write mainly smut with darker themes. I do like a happy ending, but I like the angst too much to write fluff.

If suffering, angst, and questionable morals aren't your cup of tea - please don't read my work, you probably won't like it.

If you are under 18, please don't read. Almost nothing I write is for young eyes.

Below are all my works, so far, in the Marvel Universe.

Secrets Don't Make Friends

Summary: Tony Stark has a secret. Several, in fact. Outed to the world as an Omega, he finds himself stuck between a rock and a hard place. His only hope at salvation rests upon the strong shoulders of a certain Captain Steven Rogers. The problem? Rogers hates his guts.

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: AU, Past Abuse, Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Bullying, Past Abuse, ABO, Omega verse, Omega Tony Stark, Alpha Steve Rogers, Power Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Hurt Tony Stark

Red Handed

Summary: A One Shot in which Tony Stark is a vigilante on the wrong side of the law. Things go sideways, and he ends up getting caught red handed by Captain America. Ironman has been a thorn in the side of the Avengers for too long, and Steve is more than happy to serve up a hot, steamy, glass of justice to his wild and irksome nemesis. That is, until Tony comes up with a proposition for the Captain.

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Shameless smut, TonyxSteve, Stony, Dub con, Dubious Morality, Enemies to Lovers, Hate Sex, Rough Sex, Verbal Humiliation, Rough Blowjob, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content

Teach

Summary: Tony is the new teacher at Belvalle Academy, where the more notorious crime families send their kids, and has run into some trouble with a group of students. Bullied and beaten, Tony is rescued by none other than a Mr. James Barnes, one of his rather lack-luster students...when he actually show up to class. It isn't long before Tony discovers that James Bucky Barnes doesn't help anyone for free, and if he wants the protection the younger man can provide, he's going to have to pay a price for it. Tony can't afford to pay with cash on his limited teacher's salary, so Barnes comes up with a more...creative way that Tony can pay off his debt.

Pairing: Bucky x Tony, Bucky x Tony x Clint

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Some serious AF dubcon, blackmail, AU, Student/Teacher, Student Bucky Barnes, Student Clint Barton, Teacher Tony Stark, Bullying, Anal sex, Blowjobs, Verbal Humiliation, Threesome, Voyeurism, Deepthroating, PWP

Beauty in the Broken

Summary: Tony Stark is a halfbreed Omega on the run. Notorious for being uncatchable and outwitting those who would try to tame him, Tony doesn’t stay in one place for very long. He doesn’t want to be tied down or beholden to any Alpha because in his experience they bring nothing but pain and terror. Besides, Tony has not met a wolf he can’t outrun or outfox.

Until now.

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: AU shifter fanfic, Past Rape (underage - I don't go into extreme detail about this, but if this is triggering for you please do not read), Past Child Abuse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alpha/Omega, ABO, Mildly Dubious Consent

Bound

Summary: A non powered AU in which Tony is a young college student with a vendetta against some of the guys on the hockey team who bully him mercilessly. He concocts a plan to get revenge in an epic way. The only problem? He broke into the wrong house… in more ways than one. August_2022: Where it all went wrong, Twisted Fairy Tales

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony, StevexTonyxBucky, Stuckony Rating: Explicit Tags/Warnings: AU fanfic, dubcon, non con, bdsm, bondage, spanking, anal fingering, anal sex, rough oral sex, hurt/comfort, angst, enemies to lovers, blackmail, threesome

The Storm

Summary: Steve and Tony haven't seen eye to eye in a long time. Once inseparable, the two can no longer stand the sight of each other. But when he gets a call from Natasha telling him that there is something seriously wrong with his ex-lover, Tony rushes out into the wilds of Maine to meet her.

Only...there's a blizzard. And when he finally reaches the cabin, it's not Natasha there waiting for him. But Steve himself.

Crafty Russian.

For @captain-stark-rogars (hope you don't hate it! :P) Prompt: Stony on the verge of Divorce but end up stranded ((snow storm?)) and they realize there is a ember burning…they end up wanting to work it out …((maybe sexy time ?))

Pairing: Steve/Tony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, angst, makeup sex, sex on the kitchen table, snowed in

Rocky Road

Summary: Tony Stark has been kidnapped... again. This time is different that the others, though, because his kidnappers are not interested in a ransom. They mean to kill him. His only hope rests upon the smashed smartwatch on his wrist that doesn't seem to want to work. When a call finally goes through, it's to the last person in the world he wants to talk to. His ex-boyfriend, Grant Stevens, who he put in his phone as FuckHead.

Pairing: Steve/Tony

Rating: Mature

Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, angst, identity porn, secret identities, college age Tony, Steve comes out of the Ice sooner, AU, Feral Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Nazi Punching, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Rescues, HEA

The Tribute

Summary:

He was being hunted.

Which, yeah, okay, was maybe the point of this whole stupid, archaic, tradition. Tony was supposed to be hunted. He was supposed to be chased down by the mythical creatures that haunted these woods. And when they caught him he was supposed to submit, to give himself body and soul, to whatever creature chose him as theirs for the night.

He was supposed to be a sacrifice. A gift of submission to appease the creatures who dwelled in the forest that surrounded the sleepy little town of Pine Hollow. His submission was reparation for a debt owed.

Allegedly.

Pairing: Steve/Tony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Non con, Extremely Dubious consent, Werewolf AU, Werewolf Steve, Human Tony, Monster/Human sex, Voyeurism, Human Sacrifice (sexually)

[enha-doodles]

Can you write an expanded version for sunghoon from the one enhypen reaction to you rejecting their confession. Like what happened in detail but in a fic or one-shot.

-🎀

Hey 🎀 anon , I couldn't write more than this due to lack of time but I hope you liked it ^^

.*･ﾟʚ SUNGHOON YANDERE FIC - (drabble 1) ɞ.*･ﾟ 

➸ʚ pairing ɞ : sunghoonxreader!

➸ʚ genre ɞ : yandere

➸ʚ warning ɞ : mention of bullying , hitting ...

➸ʚ Disclaimer ɞ : yandera relationship is not good at all and is very toxic . This is all a work of fiction and my imagination . Credits of the GIFs to the owners . None of the members have the same personality or resonate the traits mentioned below .

Your first day of your new school was up and you were definitely excited . You had got everything new and the clothes were the best part . This school didn't had a fix uniform so you bought the clothes you liked . Cardigans and baggy pants . It looked really cute . You left your home with your driver which was a female . You two talked for bit and then you arrived . After bidding her bye with a wave , you spun on your heels and entered the school gates . You could feel all the eyes that were starting at you . You knew it was common since new people always gets attention . You entered the hallway and that's were you and your life took a turn . (Lol sorry)

When you were finding your homeroom , you were met by a guy bullying a nerd . Some people were just watching , recording or laughing . Nobody was helping so you decided to be the one . We'll hero gets consequences too , right ? "Where's my homework you book worm" The guy exclaimed hitting the boy . "I am sorry Sunghoon I forgot it . You can take mine" the nerd was at the verge of tears ."Yah you . Stop bullying people " when Sunghoon turned around he was met by your blank face . 'who is she and why is she saving him' was the first though that came into his mind . "yeah and who are you to tell me that doll " he said leaving the nerd who ran for his life , quietly thanking you from afar which you acknowledged with a nod . Hoon started walking towards your direction . He came face to face with you and you did what came into your mind . You slapped him . Hard . Many gasps were heard and he was furious . Rather than gasps there were laughs too and some people even got it on tape . Victory for them ? "No one you need to know and stop it because it's not funny nor cool " you walked away unknown to the danger coming behind you . He was humiliated but more of he was angry . "Your gonna regret it doll."

You went to the staff room to take your schedule and dorm keys . After coming out of the staff room you were suddenly pulled into the janitors closet and you heard the door being locked "who tf-" you were met buy sunghoon's gaze and you knew you were fucked . "What ? Why did you pull me here ?!" He flipped you to the door and pinned you . "You think you can slap me and get away with it so easily ? I don't think so doll ". His hands were beside your face and he was close . Too close for your liking . "First of all back tf away and secondly you deserved it" he chuckled . He was amused , it was af if he didn't want revenge now . It was you who he wanted now . "Ahh your a feisty one , I really like you . Be my girlfriend " he said so proudly as if you would directly say yes . "Dude are you in the right state of mind ? Heck no " Oops . That got you to be yanked back and forth really hard and his face became serious . He held you jaw tightly and inches close to you . "You have no say in this doll , you are mine from now" with that he slammed his lips on yours . He was so harsh that it hurt . Your tears wouldn't stop and so would he . You were pushing him but he was clearly stronger . After you finally managed to push him off you and ran away but you knew that wouldn't be the last time he was approaching you .

This was something that freaked you out so much that you couldn't get any sleep that night . You were more afraid because you had to see him again tomorrow too and that jerk could possibly try something on you again . You did your routine and went for your school . You were thinking of skipping it but it was just the second day so you had to go . When you safely made it to your locker without any trances of hoon you were happy . Guess you celebrated too soon . You felt someone behind you and when you turned around it was him . Park Sunghoon . Standing tall with the evil smirk that showed the power he had . You knew you had to be strong . "Fuck off " he just laughed and inched his face closer mockingly saying "where was this strong girl in the janitors room , hmm ?" You were annoyed and just pushed him and walked away fastly thinking 'what an asshole '.

The school was finally over and you got a text message from the driver staying she had some emergency so she can't come to pick you up today . Guess walking it is then.

While you were walking you could swear someone was following you . Learning from the movies you didn't turn back to give them a chance to make you unconscious instead you lead them the wrong way . When you couldn't feel anyone close you stepped out of your hidding spot and were relieved when there really was no one . "Finding me?" You knew the voice and were gonna run when he stepped in front of you making you back away .

"Why are you following me you jerk?!" you questioned all bravely with anger evident in your voice . But the colour of your face drained out when you heard his next sentence followed by an pyschotic laugh " I am here to take you with me since you didn't agree the other day , I told you you were mine and I do what I say " you were too focused on how to run away that you didn't see the syringe coming your way . When it hit your neck you looked at Sunghoon in fear which added to his excitement. "When you wake up ,I'll be by your side , don't worry and sleep well " he smiled . Oh how you wished you never crossed paths with him .

[shotorozu]

hello !! I'd rlly like to request Monoma if that's alright! I've had a huge soft spot for him for a while now and I'd love to see more content of him ;v;

anyway! we all know that superiority complex of his is definitely hiding some insecurities, but I also feel like he'd be quite touchstarved too bc of his peers seldom physically interacting with him due to his quirk, yknow?

with that in mind, I'd love to see how he'd handle an s/o who has "physical touch" as their main love language. they can give verbal praise/comfort, but they always get so shy abt it that they prefer giving physical affection to show their love. and maybe combining that with "quality time" being their second love language, they love to just cuddle him or toy with his hands/hair during quiet moments uwu

if you wanna do multiple characters, I'd love to request Shinsou, Midoriya, and Amajiki (separately) for the same idea, but if you'd rather do this with just Monoma then I'm okay with that !! no worries if you don't wanna do all four ♡

thank you if you do this request, and make sure to take care of yourself !! ♡

physically affectionate s/o

character(s) : monoma neito, shinsou hitoshi, midoriya izuku (i cut out tamaki for this one, sorry :[ but i’ll do another part if anyone wants it)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, strong quirk but the details aren’t specific, reader is a part of 1-A

headcanon type : fluff (and if you squint, then crack)

note(s) : yes i do agree :,) monoma should be getting a little bit more content, and i’m sorry that this came out so late! i was multitasking with other requests (because i took a 2 day absence,,) but this doesn’t mean i don’t read people’s requests

»»————-　♡　————-««

monoma neito

monoma 🤝 bakugou “the pros at sending mixed signals”

if there’s one thing he’s known for— then it’s for the persistent teasing, and his quite obnoxious attitude (especially at 1-A)

but he’s not a terrible person, he sure does have his reasons. and by now, people either choose to ignore him, or they simply knock the wind out of him

so, he was not prepared to encounter someone that was tolerant of him, AND also his type— like.. huh. that’s.. odd

and he was even more surprised when they accepted his wild love confession. there must be some catch to it, right?

so like i’ve said— monoma sends a lot of mixed signals. it’s either he’s complimenting your existence, or teasing you in various ways.

so— it’s just another normal day of monoma mouthing off to you, teasing you in a playful way, while you guys are hanging out this is way of making you remember him

but then, you just.. leaned forward and placed your hand on his head— not exchanging any words at all.

monoma’s first reaction is (・・?) because what?? someone is touching him right now.. wait.. someone is touching him!

honestly really shook, and at a lost for words— because everyone has refrained from coming into any physical contact with him? what a surprise! what even is this?

after said incident, you decide to speak “you had something in your hair.” and for once, monoma is the one that’s sitting in silence

“R-REALLY, Y/N? DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO W-WORK ON ME OR SOMETHING?” he questions in his usual mocking tone, but his cheeks are accompanied in a flushed red

he’d only experience field day when he realized that touch was basically your love language, with quality time in the second lead

so whenever you guys are spending time together, you’d,, actually go closer to him! this has never happened before, let him be

he doesn’t really like the idea of getting his hair touched, so you usually choose to fiddle with his hands— sometimes observing his details, and other times you’ll be comparing hand sizes

he’ll ridicule you for being so touchy— but he’ll ask if he’s “that irresistable?” while also moving you closer to him. he loves it a lot, okay?

don’t let class 1-b see this, he will flex on them because when he starts getting annoying again, they’ll use you as blackmail.

“monoma, i swear— if you do that, we’ll tell Y/N-”

“HAHA— ok, i’m sorry.”

shinsou hitoshi

he probably has the most chill reaction out of the bunch

again— another person that has been antagonized because of their quirk. he’s been perceived as villanious ever since his middle school days

kids have been told to keep their distance away from him at a young age so.. you’d bet that he’d be really touch starved

he never had any serious experiences with dating, and he never had any real friends— that weren’t cautious of his quirk

that was until he met you, which he just assumed you were another highkey stuck up person in the hero course

but, you were basically the opposite, and you were a real pleasure to have around. one thing lead to another, and now you guys are dating

he thought it was really cute whenever you got too shy to just sit in silence during dates, or to even give out words of affirmations

but hitoshi was surprised at first when he felt you pull yourself closer to him— resting your head on his shoulder. the concept of someone wanting to be in his presence is still sinking in for him

lucky for you! shinsou knows how to adapt to situations quickly, immediately slinging an arm around your shoulder, as he listens to you talk

he’ll be surprised when you start touching his hair, because golly!! are you guys close

but do it more pls, he loves it a lot— it sometimes makes him really drowsy.

if you play with his hands omg, his heart will do somersaults. he’s lucky that he’s able to keep himself composed.

loves watching you choosing to cuddle him, after briefly giving up on trying to form coherent words of affirmations.

it’s something he brings up quite often, but not in a teasing manner!

sometimes he’ll pat the free spot beside him, basically begging you to come closer to him.

eventually, denki notices on how touchy he’ll get whenever you’re around— but hitoshi will just shrug it off

“it’s always been that way.” he simply says, but he’ll turn around with this big ass grin on his face 💀

he’s whipped for your touch. so please, do it more

midoriya izuku

he’s also touchstarved. actually, all of them are really touchstarved, and for different reasons 💀

well.. it’s not like he had a choice from the getgo. he was born quirkless, and that lead to him becoming an outcase— and also the victim of bullying i wanna hug him

and being told constantly that he won’t ever be enough, or he won’t ever be a hero— it’s obvious that he doesn’t have any dating experience

but he didn’t think he’d be dating anytime soon— especially since he was ‘just’ pinning over you. he was convinced it was going nowhere

until you confessed. he’s surprised that he didn’t pass out

ever since you guys started dating, he noticed that you’ve been a little timid— not in the way that you feel awkward, more like,, you wanted to say something

or do something, because when you guys were studying together, you just suddenly sat closer to him— and started counting his freckles

he short circuited for a second.

he was reduced to a stuttering, and blushy mess— and you just laughed, telling him “you should continue what you’re doing!” as you ran your other hand across his shoulders

that night, he was wide awake in his bed— recalling your gentle and loving touch, running his hands along the parts of his hair, that you’ve touched

he loves quality time, because while he does like to ramble a lot— he does enjoy spending time with you in silence, but it’s the touches that makes him flustered

despite him being quite shy to initiate any sort of touch, you— on the other hand, were shy with saying praises. so you coped with physical touch, and quality time

man, izuku never gets used to it. no matter how much he tries to— he’s just.. needy, touchstarved.

he doesn’t realize how lost he looks when you’re sitting beside him, and not touching his hair or hands for once. please feel free to do so

oh, and since we’re on the topic of hands— he’ll tear up if you start playing/fiddling with his hands, and especially when you start tracing his scars. it makes him feel so warm.

okay but,, please give him a heads up if you’re going to act touchy in public. he’ll start stammering and blushing hard you might have to put him in rice or smth

the dekusquad talks about that quite a lot, especially when they accidentally witnessed it in the common room (for the first time)

in short— he adores it. sometimes he’ll initiate it, by asking you if you want to sit beside him, to play with his hair. he’s so inlove

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or use my works for audio readings without my permission :))

[thetimelordbatgirl]

In regards to your latest post, did you read the part where it was stated that Li'l Shang (the poor kid's name is cringy as hell) has a hip hop career and a solo album coming out. Also, I did some research and I found out that Chinese kids who were named after their parents or elders is considered disrespectful, so imagine Jr being bullied severely because of his name. I feel like Disney doesn't know or care about Asian, specifically Chinese characters. What do you think?

Not gonna lie, given I'm not Chinese and I go off uh, what other people have been saying and basically research I had to do in the past for fics, its kinda hard to say what I think? Like, its definitely bad representation all around- as @ishiphumasohard pointed out, Lonnie's designs aren't even influenced by Chinese culture but instead, Japanese....which means Descendants really mashed up Asian cultures just....just because Google wasn't around or you know, a Chinese person to ask I guess.... And then you got the obvious problem: Lonnie's name. Lonnie's name is obviously not Chinese and instead, German/American, which is a little weird cause....that means they had to google names and found Lonnie but....apparently googling Chinese names was hard??? And like, in regards to D1 still, you also got....Lonnie's hair. Aka when they introduce her, she's got a pretty good short hairstyle that is at least dark haired like Lonnie's actress....but then Mal's spell makes the hair look more 'perfect', aka standard curls and....light brown hair.....yeah, to say D1 failed Lonnie is an understatement.

And in D2....they at least gave her her dark hair back, since actress is finally free from Descendants wigs.....but then they, um, gave her cornrows.....which as pointed out by @harriyanna , isn't made for non-black people cause it will fuck up the hair, and in terms of Descendants history with Black People, is basically giving a non-black girl....a black hairstyle....cause just a simple braid that wouldn't fuck up the actresses hair was hard, I guess. And like, they dis-respect Mulan HARD really in this franchise....which isn't hard, if your not Mal, your guaranteed to be disrespected somehow, but still- remember how in D2 we got gendered sports suddenly??? Why is that??? Ignoring Queen Belle suffered sexism and you also got Merida, MULAN SAVED CHINA- so why is she ignored??? And, "Wait until I tell my mom", is really an insult to the inspiring message of the OG Mulan as....come on, is it not insulting to find out a guy just passed the problem to Lonnie to deal with???

Oh and then Lonnie's just....not in D3. I get its cause actress was busy, but not even a MENTION of her....like, wow, Disney.... Do not get me started on Li'l Shang. His whole introduction is weird as like, when did Lonnie get a brother??? But yeah, @descendantofthesparrow did point that detail out to me about names ironically enough today when we were talking....like, next to it being lazy to just, slap a parents name onto the character....its also disrespectful as like....basic research is key here. And I really don't get what it is with Descendants and making their two Chinese characters, Lonnie and Li'l Shang....into hip hop....I really don't. Lonnie's personality is already constantly changing, and the fact that they did that to her brother too..... Also more evidence they didn't research Mulan.....they say Li'l Shang....is going to rule his kingdom soon....which by logic, is China....which....um....how???? Mulan and Shang are NOT royalty. Yes, they are close with the emperor, but they are not royalty. Disney Princesses doll line isn't evidence at all for this, and neither is the Mulan entry into The Queen's Council, as that book series started AFTER Rise I'm pretty sure, so like, they literally couldn't even look into Mulan's own film and just said, "Yeah guess she rules China now."

And shout out to this bitch cause I still can't get over him: the Elder Wong off Stone City, Charlie Wong. First off. his name should be Wong Charlie from what I understand of how names work in China, not Charlie Wong. And also, WHY CHARLIE?! Like, is he Chinese-American or is this really slapping the whitest name onto a Chinese character? Like, I am so lost by this. There is also Dizzy technically as a Chinese character, as her actress is half-Chinese, but uh....you'd be forgiven to not know that in D2, given how white they make her look, and in D3, they introduce Tremaine as Chinese too, but um....yeah, that can fall into some iffy writing tropes with how we know Tremaine is a abusive person to Cinderella and even in D2, is implied to be abusive to Dizzy....let alone the fact that in the graphic novel for Isle of the Lost, Tremaine is depicted as white, and we technically had Dizzy by that point, so they literally had a relative of Tremaine's to take a hint of what Tremaine should look like a little.

But like....to wrap up I guess this really long answer....its bad is all I can say. Again, I'm not Chinese, so I really would encourage anyone to seek out Descendants fans who are Chinese, but like, Descendants really just fucked up with Chinese representation....just like they fucked up with most representation really.