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#don't fucking comment on our country and how things work if you don't have the slightest idea how it works
haywirecompass · 2 years
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whoever the fuck i saw saying "i can't stand english bitching because they're so complacent" and whoever else thinks we're not doing enough i'd like to invite you to DO SOME FUCKING RESEARCH.
a law was recently passed that deemed any kind of protesting as disruptive and able to be punished by the police, alongside giving the police more power.
we all watched the police storm the PEACEFUL VIGIL for sarah everard - a woman raped and murdered by a police officer.
PEOPLE ARE CURRENTLY BEING ARRESTED FOR OUTWARDLY EXPRESSING ANY SORT OF DISPLEASURE WITH THE MONARCHY.
A WOMAN WAS ARRESTED FOR HOLDING UP A SIGN. JUST HOLDING IT.
PEOPLE WERE ARRESTED FOR BOOING.
everything in britain has been put to a standstill. hospital appointments have been cancelled. funerals have been cancelled. we can't do anything about it.
many of us will be unable to pay our energy bills this winter. we will freeze. we will starve.
it has been demonstrated to us time and time and time again that protests simply make people talk about how we were protesting and never why. and now the police has increased power to punish us for any public opinion that they don't like.
we have been under tory rule for 12 years. 12 years of the same people - hey americans, can you imagine that?
we are tired, no, we are exhausted. we are struggling. we are scared. and it has been made clear to us that our government does not care.
so fucking forgive us if we're putting our own survival over the opinions of americans (and other non-brits but americans are the worst) online who expect us to learn everything about their politics and their country and don't put in an ounce of effort to learn about ours.
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kiunlo · 3 months
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every time i look into the comments section of any fucking post that talks about indigenous people and our land it's always whitefella who are like "okay but how exactly do you think 'giving the land back' is going to work". you are TELLING ON YOURSELF if the first thing that you think when you think of landback is of indigenous people taking the land back by force and forcing everyone to move out of the country and killing people if they don't comply. idk how to tell you this but indigenous people are not violent colonisers whose first thoughts are of murder, rape and genocide when it comes to having our land being given back to us. the idea that land cannot be given back to indigenous people because that would cause white people to be without a home is a very white colonialist thing to thing, and it is the very mindset and arguments that white people make in order to ensure that indigenous land is NEVER given back to us. if you cannot even think of A SINGLE OTHER WAY that indigenous people can be given back our land that doesn't hurt other people in the process: you have some reflecting to do. not only do you have no imagination, you also are so deep within the white colonialist mindset that peaceful options are completely out of your sight, unable to be thought of and unable to be understood. you have been flashbanged by your own whiteness.
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monzabee · 1 month
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chronically online (social media au) - dr3
masterlist || series masterlist ||
Summary: The one where everyone's favourite couple is chronically online during winter break.
Pairing: daniel ricciardo x actress!reader (model used: dakota johnson)
Warnings: none other than some cursing?
Request: "hi ! i loveee ur smaus !! i was wondering if u could write some more daniel x actress!reader? maybe like interacting with some of her friends/costars? thank youu have a nice dayy <3"
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 
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ynverse
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Liked by danielricciardo, rileykeough, sydneysweeney and 934,746 others.
ynverse: proof that we can go without checking our phones for like twenty minutes.
user: we love you mother, even if you are glued to your phone
user: if you told me we'd be seeing daniel on her profile a year ago i would've laughed but here we are
danielricciardo: fucking carolina
ynverse: i fucking hate social media detox
user: i love how they are not serious at all
sydneysweeney: need any cars fixed?
ynverse: will make sure to hit syd's garage!!
user: okay but why is daniel on a tractor
user: girl i don't think that is a tractor
view all 435,269 comments.
danielricciardo
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Liked by ynverse, scottyjames31, redbullracing and 763,829 others.
danielricciardo: in nyc with the missus.
rileykeough: when did you guys get a fucking cat?
ynverse: do you want to know her name?
rileykeough: with that reaction? no
danielricciardo: but you have to know the name
ynverse: yes riley, you have to know the name
rileykeough: is it elvis
danielricciardo: of course not
ynverse: it's graceland
rileykeough: you named a cat graceland?
danielricciardo: happiest place on earth, baby
user: when did they change countries and how did we not notice??
view all 52,735 comments.
user: am i the only one who thinks they are in new york for something big??
ynverse: yeah
ynverse just posted a story!
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ynverse
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Liked by taylorswift, danielricciardo, f1wagss and 873,540 others.
ynverse: crazy night with a crazy bunch of people, thank you to everyone at snl and thank you to daniel who had to deal with at least 10 panic attacks and had to get me copious amounts of coffee.
user: okay but it's so cute that they support each other
user: girl they are in a relationship... that is like the bare minimum thing to do
user: i just know daniel was laughing his ass off during her monologue and i love that for him
taylorswift: i'm obsessed!!
user: i can imagine the chaos these two must have brought to the set... god
ynverse: okay but why hate outside of the club when you can't even get in
user: mom and dad taking over the entertainment industry step by step
landonorris: a shoutout might've been nice
danielricciardo: stop whining
ynverse: that was kinda hot
landonorris: ew
view all 73,928 comments.
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kbspangler · 8 days
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This is the public statement from @alepresser and myself which went up at Webtoons tonight.
Now for some ranting. Just from me, not from Ale—she's innocent of the art crimes I've committed in the past, and boy howdy have I committed art crimes.
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This is the first page of my first webcomic, A Girl and Her Fed. I started this thing back in 2006. (I don't actually need a head count of those reading this who weren't yet born in 2006. I'm sure you're delightful and I wish you well in college.)
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And this is the last page I drew in early 2020 before I turned art duties over to Dr. Beer. It's better, right?
Well, these days, A Girl and Her Fed has pages like this:
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I drew this comic for fourteen fucking years because it's a story I wanted to tell, and I thought webcomics were the perfect format for it. I didn't know how to draw. I got better through sheer obstinate perseverance and sticking to deadlines as best I could for, again, fourteen fucking years. I sought out a replacement artist when I ran into time constraints and couldn't do art plus writing anymore; I'm a much better writer than an artist, so I had no problems whatsoever kicking art to the curb.
The first time Ale sent me art that would go up on the website—art I hadn't needed to draw myself—I literally cried in relief because I had been grinding myself down for, yet again, fourteen fucking years.
So when I read comments from people who say they want to make a webcomic but can't draw themselves and therefore need to resort to AI, that little line between my eyes gets dangerously deep.
This isn't like I'm some old dude who's bitching over student loans getting cancelled after making regular payments. This is me, someone who threw raw art onto the internet like a monkey hurling fresh poo, because I wanted to make a webcomic and the art is part of the process of storytelling via webcomics! I could've (arguably should've) hired an artist right out of the gate, and that would've been part of the process of making comics, too: a partnership between an artist and a writer is also something which grows and develops over time.
For example, after Dr. Beer and I spent two years working on AGAHF, we decided we enjoyed our partnership so much that we set out to make another webcomic! It's great! It's got wonderful art and consistent storytelling! You should read it!
But turning art duties over to unaltered images generated by AI because you want to make a webcomic but "just can't draw" is, frankly, a bullshit excuse. I'm not talking about persons who are physically unable to draw due to disability—I'm talking about people who say they want to make webcomics but simply don't wanna do the art part.
Friends, if you don't want to show your entire ass in front of God and country, you don't actually want to make a webcomic.
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Do the thing yourself.
If you're scared, don't be. Take the plunge. Set a goal of twenty strips and do the thing yourself. If you can already draw but can't write? Great! Write twenty strips, write forty panels, etc. You might surprise yourself. If you can write but can't draw? Great! Draw twenty panels and see what happens.
Whatever comes out of it, it's a thing you've done yourself. It's something new you've given to the world, no matter how big or small. Be proud of that. And if you need to partner with someone else to make your comic dreams work? You can do that, too! It's still a thing you've done yourself, and many projects are stronger when done together.
...but maaaaaaaaaybe hire that partner before you've busted your own ass for fourteen fucking years. That one's on me.
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roo-bastmoon · 6 months
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Thoughts on 3D
So Jungkook's collab with Jack Harlow is out. It is catchy; it will go viral. I have purchased it; I will add it to my new releases playlists--same as I do for all our boys.
But while the dancing was cool and JK's parts are okay (I'm not thrilled that the word "girl" is used literally 20 times, but I get what the western music industry is), I was--I need to be honest here--really taken aback and unhappy with how misogynistic Jack Harlow's rap lyrics were. As far as I'm concerned, he's absolutely unnecessary, and I'll be supporting the alternate version with a lot more enthusiasm.
A deeper look at the lyrics and more of my thoughts are under the cut if you're interested (but by clicking, you're agreeing to keep it respectful in the comments or you'll get banned.)
All my ABG's get cute for me I had one girl (One girl), too boring Two girls (Two girls), that was cool for me Three girls, damn, dude's horny Four girls, okay now you whorin' (Hey, hey, hey) Hey, I'm loose I done put these shrooms to good use
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Setting young women up in a line and talking about how sleeping with just one is too boring but sleeping with four is whorish? Yeah, miss me with it.
Then there's this:
You won't regret me (You won't regret me) Champagne confetti (Champagne confetti) I wanna see it In motion In 3D (Show it to me, girl, now, why?)
I was given to understand that "ABG" stands for "Asian Baby Girl" and refers to an Asian party girl who likes clubbing, wearing excessive makeup and tattoos, and revealing clothes, etc.
I also learned from Urban Dictionary—which can be an unreliable site with outdated or incorrect information—that "champagne" has referred to underage girls in the past and "confetti" or nowadays “champagne confetti” refers to orgasm, or sometimes when a group of men or women surround someone, masturbate, and then ejaculate on them.
Not even going to get into the shrooms thing. I'm not in a hyper conservative country with harsh punishments for those type of drugs so... I was a bit taken aback about a song about being fucked right, and now there's lyrics about what amounts to harem girls.
*sigh* Do you know how much I hope I'm reading into things incorrectly? Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding the innuendo, but this is what urban dictionary says. I'm 44 and live in a cave. Maybe I'm wrong.
But in any case, the vibe of Jack's parts in the video was not coming off respectful.
I don't care how many other rap songs objectify and insult women--I won't get behind any content that does. And don't even try to gaslight me or other ARMY into saying we should like this because it's comparatively worse in other rap songs. Don't try to suppress any discourse about it, either--let women discuss how they feel about how they are represented. Don't police women. Don't silence women.
BTS' rap music got so much better once they incorporated feminist feedback, so I'm used to a higher standard and I won't be lowering those standards for anyone. I have no hang ups about sex, but please miss. me. with. misogynistic. bullshit.
Then again, it seems some of the rap hyungs were on board with this.
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So I guess industry pros have a different take on stuff like this!
*shrug*
Okay, we have established that I really don't like Jack Harlow's contributions to this song. Which means I'll support the alternative. Thank goodness they had the foresight to provide an alternative!
Now I can work for JK's charts in a way that doesn't aggravate my conscience. All good. Enough said on 3D.
Personally? I really hope JJK1 showcases JK's range of genres, but also has a range of topics besides pursuing girls or being cool.
I just can't vibe with a fuckboy persona; I never liked Justin Bieber or Justin Timberlake for that very reason, even if some of their songs sound fine. Now, if Jungkook really admires their style and wants to pursue it, I'm not going to rag on him for it. Of course not. It's his choice and I can respect people's choices without making the same choices myself.
I will always try to support our members as far as I can, even if not everything is my cup of tea.
But I can't help hoping for something personal and authentic and substantive, when it's just Jungkook coming to us without a collab. (And with Scooter at the helm for an all-English EP, I guess I'm not holding my breath. But maybe this is all part of the learning and growing process. Time will tell.)
Please know that I don't expect other people to suit me and my tastes, but neither will I enthusiastically support content with my time and money when they don't suit me at all or actually really turn me off, ya feel me? It's a real and respectful relationship I have with BTS and their music; not performative. I don't follow along quietly out of obligation, but rather a sincere joy to participate.
I love Jungkook deeply. He's a sweet and intelligent and kind-hearted young man. Amazingly talented and humble. Sincere, open to being vulnerable, protective of those whom he loves. He donates to kid's hospitals, for goodness sake. Jeon Jungkook is a good egg.
I guess I'm just sort of feeling a bit whelmed by the type of music that is in vogue these days. JK worked hard, he did well on his parts. I just am hoping his album showcases some of the emotional depth and meaningful thoughts I have seen from him in the past, if I'm being purely honest. *shrug*
Those are my less-than-two cents. Of course, you may have a vastly different perspective and I appreciate that. Just please keep it respectful of all members and each other in the comments here. It's been a long day and I desperately need some real rest now. I'm trusting I can post this and not come back to a warzone.
I've got a Friday Thirst post in the queue for you guys, and then I'll be taking a bit of a break from social media for a few days to work on work deadlines. Please keep voting for Jimin and of course stream and buy for Jungkook and other new releases.
Sending you all so much love!
~Roo
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starswallowingsea · 5 months
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Suguru Geto is a fucking eugenicist and I'm tired of people just brushing that aside to make silly gay fanart of him: an essay.
Hi hello JJK tag I have come to drop one singular essay to you and I do hope you'll at least listen, since it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.
Before we get into the meat and potatoes of this essay, lets first define eugenics and why it's bad. Strictly speaking, eugenics is the movement for "racial purity" that requires the planned reproduction of people only within narrowly defined racial categories, as well as the elimination of undesirables within a population (oftentimes people of color, disabled people, and queer people) via sterilization or death. The movement began in the late 19th century and continues to some extent to this day. You can read more about it here if you're interested.
Eugenics goes hand in hand with other forms of bigotry and manifests in how people refer to each other, including some of the ways that Geto refers to non sorcerers within the manga, even before his death and subsequent possession of his body by a spirit. Geto refers to regular humans as "monkeys" and cleans himself in response to coming into contact with him. This sounds familiar, doesn't it?
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This wording is very intentional on the part of Akutami and the translator. Geto is a villain and meant to be someone we see in disgust and while there are sympathetic villains in other series and I'm not going to say that you can never like villain characters (some of my own favorite characters are villains who have done fucked up things before), there is a difference between the two. Geto is specifically a representation of eugenicist, racist, xenophobic beliefs that exist in the real world. He is not someone who is fed up with the system, he is not someone who just wants to fuck around and find out.
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This comment here further emphasizes my point. One of the core ideas behind scientific racism and eugenics is the idea of biological races or that people with different skin tones have different, distinct biological functions in their body. An example of this in our world involves GFR production and "race corrections" in kidney tests (source) that are only just starting to be phased out in the medical field. The idea of needing a race correction for something like kidney function is a product of scientific racism and indirectly plays into eugenics. Denying that people are the same race or even species as you because of uncontrollable factors (sorcerer abilities, skin color, country of origin, sexuality, gender, etc) is uh. Not a good thing!
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"Monkeys" is a word that comes up frequently with Geto's talks on non sorcerers as well. It's a loaded term and again a deliberate choice on behalf of both Akutami and the translator to use it. Historically, due to scientific racism in the field of evolutionary science specifically, black people and people of color were assumed to be more closely related to monkeys and therefore "less evolved" than white people. It's a loaded word used with intention by Geto and by Akutami in the writing of Geto's character.
IN CONCLUSION can we please stop woobifying Geto as a character. His ideals and goals are an important part of him and watering him down to do gay shit with Gojo is really not what we should be doing with him in fan works. Yes Gojo's reaction to losing his friend to essentially the far right pipeline of eugenics and fascism is realistic and it's okay for Gojo to feel hurt and betrayed by this, but the reality is that Geto broke away because he believed so strongly that the world needed to be cleansed of non sorcerers and Gojo eventually accepted that he lost his friend, no matter how much it hurt to let go. This is an important part of Gojo's character arc and development but to ignore the everything about Geto's beliefs and never acknowledge them, or god forbid make JOKES about this stuff is a surefire way to make sure disabled people and people of color don't feel safe talking with you.
Notes:
I cannot stop you from shipping Satosugu or any other Geto ship. This essay was meant to inform people of the deeper meaning behind Geto's beliefs and maybe help some people see that real life issues are reflected in the media they consume. JJK is not a work that shies away from handling harder topics and this is no exception.
I will not be responding to any bad faith arguments on this post or in my inbox. If you have a genuine question feel free to come talk to me and I am willing to have a civil discussion with you about it, but calling me names or insulting me will be met with a block button so just save yourself the trouble and block me first.
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billthedrake · 11 months
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GOALS (PART TWO)
Story idea by and collaboration with top son Turner ([email protected]).
[AUSTIN]
It was a shitty week.
It all started bright and early Monday morning. I had to get back to the suburbs for work, and Scott had to get into the office. I don't know exactly what I expected but Scott was definitely quiet and moody as we quickly got ready. There was no kiss goodbye, no hug even. Just a "see you at the gym" comment from him.
Only I didn't see him at the gym, not Tuesday. He'd sent me a text saying work stuff had come up and he'd have to reschedule. In itself, that wasn't a big deal. Scott Delahunt had prioritized the gym over the last year and a half, but he also had a demanding, important job. This wasn't the first time he couldn't make it.
But instead of his normal apologetic tone at our next meeting, the man was reserved.
"Everything OK?" I asked as I put on some more weights on the bench. At least Scott was channeling whatever moodiness he had into the lifts... he was on fire that day, actually. I wasn't sure what kind of conversation I was expecting in the gym. But his standoffishness was driving me crazy.
"Yeah," he said, looking at me with slightly wounded eyes. I could tell he wasn't mad at me, but he was really upset about the sex. "Just been busy at work is all."
I'd have to leave it at that. "Well, you're looking really strong in here today."
"Thanks," he muttered. Then got back on the bench for another set. All business.
The kicker for the week was that my dad came to visit Friday. Not me specifically, but he and my stepmom Janet were in Nashville for a weekend on the town. So I went to meet them for dinner. Lots of small talk, lots of Dad's wisecracks about Nashville being "sin city," and the usual blustery questions about when I was gonna get a serious girlfriend.
I answered as well as I could, but Dad wouldn't let up. "For Chrissake Austin, you're 24."
My stepmom actually came to the rescue. "For goodness sake, Frank, leave the poor boy alone."
I'd held off on any other Friday plans, but Dad and Janet clearly wanted to hit the country bars on their own. As we left the restaurant, Dad stretched out his hand for a handshake. "Good to see you, son." I knew I wouldn't see him again until Christmas.
The whole ride home I was mad at him. Then I was mad at myself for letting him get to me. What did I expect? There's that saying about insanity and expecting different results.
I was mopey when I got home. I cracked open a beer, which I rarely do at home. I wondered why I didn't have the guts to tell Dad that I'm gay. I'd spent my college years very much in the closet and enjoying secret sex with my professor. I loved playing that role for him, the "straight" jock who'd nail his ass at least twice a week.
Now that I'd moved back to Brentwood, I decided I wouldn't necessarily hide the gay thing but I wouldn't advertise it either. I'm not sure what made me be forthcoming with Scott Delahunt. Maybe I felt I could trust him. Maybe unconsciously I wanted something to happen. I was glad it did, only there was a good chance I'd lost him as a client and more importantly as a friend. Fuck... business and pleasure definitely shouldn't mix.
I picked up my phone. It wasn't too late, and I knew I had to call. Jason was my best friend at UT, a teammate who I felt like I could share anything with. Except one thing...
"Austin!" came his response as he answered, seeing my name on the caller ID. "What's up, man?" We called each other all the time, but not usually at this hour.
"Hi man... listen... I know it's out of the blue to ring you up, but I had something I gotta tell ya."
"Everything OK, Aust'?"
"Yeah, I'm OK. I just... well, I wanted to let you know that I'm gay, Jason," I blurted out.
There was silence on the other end. Then: "For real?"
My heart pounded. Here was my best bud in the whole world and he still was even after college and me moving to Nashville and him to Atlanta. And I had no idea how he'd take it. He was a typical jock, I guess, and very much a pussy hunter. "For real. Sorry I didn't have the guts to tell you before."
"You know you're my brother, man," he said. "Right?"
I let out a sigh. "Yeah, bro. Thanks."
I could sense an awkward pause on the other end. "Listen, bro... I hate to cut the conversation short, but I'm actually on a date right now."
"Oh fuck!" I blurted. "Sorry, man." I'd been so absorbed in my own drama.
He chuckled. "It's all good," he said. "But we'll catch up this weekend, OK?"
"All right. Sorry again, Jase. Catch ya later.
That conversation was what I needed. I don't know… it cleared the air some. The next morning I decided I needed some relief for my morning wood. As I made my coffee, I fired up one of the apps to see what was on there.
I got a message. "Hi man. You really discreet?"
I typed back. "I always am."
I waited a sec then got another message. "Well, you're really hot."
"Thanks," I replied.
"I bet you get a lot of guys telling you that."
"My fair share," I admitted.
"OK if I share my pics?" His profile was pretty minimal, which itself wasn't a bad thing. Married or unavailable men didn't usually put much on their profiles, so you never knew if you were getting a troll or a stud.
"Yeah, sure," I said. I made it clear it was noncommittal.
He showed me his pictures. He wasn't Scott Delahunt hot, but I decided not to be picky. I was horny and in the mood to get off. The man seemed like a regular suburban guy in his late 40s.
"Looks good," I wrote.
"I don't bottom, but I'd love to suck your dick this morning," he wrote.
It was to the point. I often like to chat a good bit with guys, since it helps me suss out if they're on the level and figure out if there's sexual compatibility. Also for me sex is in large part a mental thing, and I love the build up before the act.
That said, I know it's not the etiquette to be too chatty on the apps, and this dude seemed to have a very limited time. He gave off that lying to a wife about making a Home Depot run kind of vibe. I told him to come over.
When he showed up I was a little thrown off guard that he didn't look exactly like his pictures. He had a goatee and was much grayer than his photo. That itself was actually a turn on, but he was also overweight... not fat, but girthy in his jeans and T-shirt.
"Dang, dude, you're hot," he said as he stepped in. At least his voice was deep and masculine. Then seeing my reaction, he prompted. "Is this gonna work man?"
I could tell he was excited for this, and I relented. "As long as you know how to suck dick," I blustered as I pulled down my shorts and gripped my dick to prime the pump. I hadn't fully lost my erection and was still feeling worked up.
I watched his big body scramble down and get down to service me. This wasn't Married Guy's first cock. He explored me with his tongue for just enough to work me up, then he took me into his mouth. It was a skilled, no-nonsense blow job. Two minutes tops. If that. I looked down and watched that silver-haired head bob up and down. I conjured up a fantasy about my high school math teacher. Then it happened. I came. It felt great.
Married Guy suckled me and gave a final soft kiss to the head as he pulled off. "Guess you needed that, huh, buddy?" he chuckled. I could tell he was proud he'd gotten me off so quickly.
"Pretty much," I said as I reached down to pull up my shorts.
He stood up and rearranged the boner in his jeans. "Well hit me up again if you need that bad boy taken care of," he said. He was clearly thrilled at playing with a man on the side. "Can't always get away from the Mrs. but it was worth it today."
"Will do," I said. My demeanor was friendly enough but maybe giving that frosty time-to-go signal. I was a little relieved when he left.
I had gotten my rocks off and that was nice, but I felt the psychological part hadn't been that rewarding.
But it was like the heavens were going to reward me for the so-so sex and for my unrequited feelings for Scott. My buddy Rick asked me if I wanted to catch the season opener for the Predators at a downtown sports bar. I'm not a big hockey fan, but the Predators had come off a great season and there was a buzz in the city around the team. Scott had actually canceled his Friday morning session at the gym, so I'd have an extra hour before I had to be at work that next morning.
Rick was a fellow trainer and a couple of his college friends came with us. I was the odd man out not really following the game but it was fun just inhabiting the hightop of that crowded bar and cheering each goal against the Rangers.
But eventually my eye was drawn to a table of businessmen at the table next to us. Three suit and tie guys, though their jackets were on their chairs and their ties long gone from the day at work or some convention. Given their reaction to the game, they were New Yorkers, or at least Rangers fans.
My attention was drawn to the oldest of the bunch. A sturdy built guy in a regular business man kind of way. Tan lingering from his late summer vacation, brown eyes and thinning silver hair cut almost military short, he had a kind of Jersey/Long Island daddy look that appealed to me. Best of all, his pecs filled out a pale blue dress shirt and his ass looked great in his gray trousers.
Maybe I was looking over too much because Silver Daddy caught me and gave a knowing smile. Not a flirty smile, but a “yeah, I know you're checking me out” smile. I figure straight dudes in New York are used to getting attention from gay guys all the time.
I got another pint just as the third period started. Seemed like Silver Daddy was working on another beer, too. I got the feeling they'd started early, because their booming voices just kept getting louder.
I played it cool, not so much hiding my interest from the man but rather not trying to be obvious around my buddies. But Silver Daddy started slyly looking back to me. The first time he did gave me a boner under the table, and I was half hard for the rest of the game. Playing cat and mouse with our surreptitious eye contact.
My friends were in a great mood when the game was over, since the Predators won. They tried to convince me to hit one of the more partying country bars on Broadway but I told them I had an early morning and said I'd just hang out at the sports bar and finish my beer.
I don't know if I expected anything to happen. But when I watched Silver Daddy go to the bar to order another round, I took my chance and stepped up next to him, to order my own drink.
He flashed me a drunken smile. "Your friends left you," he said. Not quite a slur but he was definitely drunk.
"Yeah," I said. "Fraid so." I replied in a way that suggested I wasn't at all upset by that turn of events.
"Let me get ya a drink," he said. His accent was New York all right.
I nodded. "Sure." I told him what I was having.
Just then one of guys came up and clapped Silver Daddy's shoulder. "Listen, Bob, we're actually gonna call it a night. See you tomorrow."
The man didn't miss a beat. "Yeah, sure, Greg. I might play hooky and skip the first session," Silver Daddy bellowed.
"I hear ya. I might be in the same boat tomorrow. Why the fuck did I let Connors convince me to do shots? I'm not fucking 22," he growled.
"Remember... water and aspirin before bed." Silver Daddy said. I couldn't tell if it was a joke or real advice.
The man shook his head. "All right... go easy, man." He clapped Bob's shoulder and then walked off.
"Guess it's just you and me," he smirked.
"Guess so," I said. God, I hadn't really had a situation like this before, but it was fun.
He leaned in, a naughty look on his face. "My hotel is nearby. Feel like skipping the beers?"
"Yeah," I said. I was starting to get hard again, but hopefully my boner wouldn't show too much. Up close this man was more solid than he looked from the distance even.
He winked and patted my shoulder. "Let me pay the tab and I'll get my jacket."
He had a swagger as we left the bar and walked down the street. I kept looking over at him. About 6'1" with very upright posture, almost chest puffing out. He had a prominent nose and forehead, which stuck out more from the receding and thinning hair. If he wasn't so clearly a businessman, I might have placed him as a coach type. I placed him in his mid 50s, but he'd taken good care of himself.
"I'm Austin, by the way," I said, realizing we hadn't even introduced ourselves.
"Bob," he replied in turn.
"You in town for business?" I asked. He could have been local, but from his talk at the bar I gathered not.
He looked over at me. "You got it," he blustered. The man had one volume for speaking it seemed. "E-Commerce Convention." He flashed a grin at me. "This was the last thing I expected to happen tonight, I'll tell you."
I smiled back. "Me either," I admitted.
He chuckled. "You do this often?"
"Not enough."
"I hear ya," he said. I could tell he had his hands in his trouser pockets to keep his own boner from being obvious. That thrilled me. "But I figure what happens in Nashville stays in Nashville, right?" The guy liked to talk. "Got a girlfriend or anything?"
I was a little nervous having this conversation so openly on the street, but no one was around to listen or care. I shook my head. "I stick with guys," I replied.
That seemed to surprise him. "Yeah, man? You should come up to New York... give those muscle gays some competition."
This was a man of surprises, but I was happy to go along for the ride. "Is that what you're into?" I asked.
This was the first and only time I saw a flicker of embarrassment on his handsome, middle-aged face. "When I'm in the mood to play that way... yeah, that flicks my switch."
"Just to be clear," I put it out there. "I don't bottom."
He chuckled some as if he found my top assertiveness cute. "All right, stud... I'm sure we can have some fun."
I felt a little bad that this was the hotel Scott and I had stayed in. Different floor, different room, but same look and furnishings... even the view out the window was the same. But Bob was night and day different from Scott. I didn't know his story but he clearly had experience with men.
"Fuck, you're hot," he growled as the room door clicked. Our bodies met, then we kissed. I loved his energy and his meaty bulk and that suit. It was impetuous and horny, the way we fueled each other's sexual excitement. We ground our crotches into one another and made out in a drunken sloppy kiss.
And already this Silver Daddy was reaching down to fumble with my jeans, undoing them and reaching in to grip my boner. "Nice one," he growled then stepped back to undo his own belt. Maybe I normally like being top dog, but I had to admit Bob had a nice tool. Long as mine and thicker. It fell out, heavy and then jerked up to a standing position.
"You suck a guy?" he asked.
"Yeah, sometimes," I replied. I wanted to get a taste. I crouched down and felt that soft wool fabric of his suit then leaned forward. His prick tasted salty and the tip was dewey with precum. I gave him a quick couple of licks then started taking him into my mouth
"Fuck yeah, man." God, I hoped the room had some soundproofing.
I wasn't a natural or skilled cocksucker, but I settled in to do right by him. Bobbing up and down on his thick tool. Not going deep, because that girth was a lot for me. But I settled into a good rhythm on about 3 and a half inches of his stalk. The brash guy was surprisingly quiet as I fellated him, standing with his legs apart and running his fingers through my hair.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but he didn't seem in a rush to get off. After a couple of minutes I pulled back and got one more look of his meaty erection before looking up.
"My turn." It half question, half statement.
I stood up and kicked off my sneakers. Bob stepped back and removed his suit jacket, hardon still spit wet and sticking out of his fly. He gave me another wink, then turned to take off the rest of his clothes.
I followed suit and admired the view as I watched this middle-aged stud get onto the bed. He had some padding but some strong muscle, a classic ex-jock build. Blocky pecs, big arms, and a general thickness. He wasn't all that hairy, but his dusting of chest and stomach hair was also graying and I found that hot. There was just some dirty blond in his wiry pubes around that tubesteak.
I climbed on top of him, meeting him in another kiss and feeling our body contact. Bob got into it, which got me into it. I don't know if he was Scott Delahunt perfect, but in his own way this business guy was hotter. He humped up into me as we made out and his hands were on me.
"Jesus," he grunted, the loud voice returning. "You're a muscle dude all right," he growled.
I grinned down on him. I about told him I was a personal trainer, but figured that wasn't important.
"Figures you'd be a top," he said. Then, "Well, I have a couple condoms in my bag if you wanna get in me."
"Fuck yes," I said, which made Bob laugh. Even with a rubber, I knew I'd enjoy this.
"Just let me sit on it first," he said. "It's been a while."
I agreed and got off him so he could go fetch the rubbers and lube. He hadn't blown me yet, but that was OK. I was rock hard as I lay back against the headboard, while Bob applied some lube to my stalk, then rolled down a condom. He then lubed that.
His dick was rock hard and he had a lusty look on his face as he straddled me. I watched his chest muscle flex some as he reached down and back to guide my dick into place. His eyes seemed to drink up the sight of my body beneath him. "God, you remind me of a couple of fellas on my son's hockey team."
Good fuck, he was gonna push my buttons big time. I ran my hands along his meaty thighs. "You ever do anything with them?" I asked, my voice cracking in lust.
He smiled. "One of them, yeah...."
And like that he pushed back. I felt the snugness and then I entered his hot, right rectum. The man let out a hiss and paused, then descended down some. "You're big," he smiled, then with a determined look pushed all the way down. "OH FUCK!" he growled. I was getting into his vocal nature. But equally I was enjoying feeling up his more mature muscle. He was the kind of man who'd be hot to fuck well into his 60s, and that idea excited me perversely.
It took some restraint not to thrust into him right away, but my prick was rigid and throbbing inside him, having the mental side of the fuck make up for the lack of physical stimulation to my dick.
But it didn't take him long to relax. And with a steady motion, he rose up and fell down into my lap. Fucking himself on me. I loved watching him. His whole body getting into it as he stroked his cock and rode me. This man loved sex, and had no hangups about bottoming for me.
It was like he was reading my mind. "You know how to bring out my naughty side, stud," he said.
I now gave small thrusts up into him, to meet his bouncing. "Like with that hockey player?" I ventured.
He grinned. "Austin... talk about naughty... Mark is my best friend's son."
"Fuck!" I groaned.
"That shit turn you on?" he laughed.
I nodded. "Yeah it does."
He rode me a little faster, though his stroke on his cock kept the same pace. "Mark's fucked me a couple dozen times," he admitted. Maybe he was making it up as sex talk to work me up, but I think he was telling the truth.
I couldn't help it. I gripped his hips and took charge of the fuck, pushing up into his guts with steady hard strokes.
"That's it, stud," Bob growled. "Go for it." He reached down and felt up my chest and arms. I didn't know if I was a replacement for some college-aged hockey player, but it was OK if I was. Then he asked, "Wanna switch positions?"
He didn't wait for an answer but simply rose off me and plopped down next to me. Already he was lifting his legs up, giving me room to scoot between them. He was a hunk and a half, not magazine perfect but hotter for it. I placed his calves on my shoulders and pressed forth.
"I want you to cum," I urged as I began fucking him. My voice urgent even if I knew I wasn't going to cum with the rubber. My hips worked him in strong, physical shoves.
"Yeah," he hissed. Even if the alcohol and maybe his age had kept his trigger at bay, he was getting into it now. His eyes wildly on me and his fist working that thick tool faster. "Harder, stud!" he yelled.
I went for it. Hard and fast. His face went red and he nodded excited.
"Yeah... yeah... oh shit!"
His cum flew out with a crazy suddenness. He wasn't a big cummer but two heavy ropes flew out onto that meaty chest before his sperm oozed out in dribbles.
I pulled out and stripped off the condom. It wouldn't take me long to cum now, at all.
But Bob had different ideas. "Bring it up here," he urged.
I hadn't ever shot on a guy's face, but the idea seemed hot as hell. I scooted up and fisted my tool an inch away from his handsome business daddy mug. But he batted my hand away and leaned forward.
I was gonna get my blowjob after all. Bob didn't seem bothered by the lube and the latex taste as he sucked me in and bobbed.
About five bobs and I blasted hard. The man moaned excitedly as I filled his craw with my fresh sperm. I pulled out so I could see some spray on his chin. I felt I deserved that.
I was still dribbling in aftershocks even as I sat on the bed next to him.
He had come down from his orgasm and looked up at me with a smile. "Good for you, I take it?"
I nodded. "More than good," I replied. "I needed a lay like that."
"You caught me in the right mood," he said.
"Drunk?" I teased.
He laughed. "That helps," he said. "Listen, no pressure... but I'm in town for another day, if you wanna hook up again."
"It would be hard to say no," I said.
"Is that a no?" he asked, unsure what I meant.
"That's a yes," I clarified.
He ran his hand up my leg and then nudged his fingers against my genitals, which twitched at the touch. "I just want to take advantage of my free time away, you know?" He looked up from my cock to my face. "You can sleep here if you want."
"I'd have to get up early," I warned him. Even with Scott's cancelled session, I had to be at the gym by 7:30.
"I'll set the alarm... you can get up when you like," he said. He patted my leg once more and got up to go to the bathroom. He pissed and washed off some, I gathered, but when the door opened and he strutted back, naked, his body showing off the tan line from that beach vacation. he had a glass of water and two aspirin, which he popped in his mouth.
I got up to piss myself and as he watched me pass him, he added, "yeah, you'd give those New York guys a run for the money, all right."
[SCOTT]
"Where's your head, Delahunt?" Rich Kennedy asked after my drive on the 14th hole went wide. Way wide. "That's the third lousy shot today."
"Motherfuck!" I hissed. I was normally a good golfer, and I didn't take a bad day well.
"Oh Scotty's been in a pissy mood for weeks," Dave Feldman chimed in. I was the last of our foursome to tee off, and I think the fellas knew I was gonna slow down our group.
The fourth guy, Ed wisecracked as he looked at his phone. "He's probably checked his retirement account. Another shit day on the market fellas."
That seemed to ease the tension some and as we went on down the fairway, the conversation turned to investments and whether it was time to change the allocation for our nest eggs. It was the kind of conversation we had a lot.
I had to admit Dave was right. I had been in a bad mood. Ever since that night with Austin. I tried to get him out of my head but that attempt was making me miserable. The one exception was with Kelly. Maybe I was overcompensating but my guilt at cheating on her put me into charm mode with my wife. We'd even had sex a few times lately, which was a nice change and a welcome reminder that my heterosexuality wasn't gone.
Thing was, my bisexuality wasn't either. Sex with Austin had been amazing. I'd still throw hard during the middle of the day, almost every day, thinking back on it. I don't know, something about the combination of hardness and softness, of Austin's innocent charm and his jock masculinity, really turned me on. It was a revelation to me.
I knew I was playing with fire, even sticking with Austin as my trainer. But I kept my distance. I felt my improved physique was the best change of my life lately. I didn't want to stop that.
Our Friday training sessions were going as normal. Me focusing on a solid lower body workout and giving it 110 percent. We made some small talk, but kept it light. But for three weeks I'd avoided any talk of the Titans. Today I brought up the football talk. Austin seemed to relax and get into his fantasy team for the week and his plan to watch the game with some of his trainer buddies. I wondered if any of those guys knew Austin was into guys, but I figured younger people aren't as judgmental as people of my generation.
Whereas my Tuesday or Wednesday sessions were late afternoon, I tended to meet Austin first thing in the morning, so I could get a round of golf in for the afternoon if the weather allowed.
I'd showered and dressed in my suit for work when I saw Austin waiting outside the locker room. He had an envelope in his hand and a nervous look on his face.
"I didn't overpay you, did I?" I asked. "I'm hoping to make up that session I missed..."
He shook his head. "No... open it later," he said. "OK?"
"Yeah sure," I said. He gave me a sad nod and went back to a client who was stretching between sets.
I had a pit of my stomach feel for what was in the envelope. Or at least a ball park idea. As I got into my BMW, I tossed my gym bag on the front seat and nervously opened the letter. The writing was in pen in what I'd describe as a neat scrawl.
"Dear Scott,
Forgive my handwriting. And forgive my writing what I don't have the guts to tell you face to face.
I want to apologize to you. I crossed a line with you, and I got you to do something you didn't feel comfortable with. I almost expected you to find another trainer, and I wouldn't blame you if you did.
But I miss our friendship. Maybe that's not respecting a professional line, too, but I consider you a friend first and foremost. We can forget what happened if it would help.
There's some other sappy stuff I wrote but I tore those letters up. This is enough.
your trainer,
Austin"
My heart sank. I thought I'd be strong enough to resist this special young man. But I was pulling out my phone for a quick text. "Read your letter. You have any time to meet this afternoon? In private."
He was the kind of trainer to be focused on his clients, so it wasn't until I got to the office that I saw the text that awaited me. "I have a window between noon and 4." I typed back to see if 12:30 would work. I had a 2PM tee time. He responded back with his address and a question mark. I said yes.
The morning would have felt like torture had my calendar not been full. I'd have to catch up on work tomorrow morning, but it was one of those beautiful October days that was perfect golfing weather, and I wanted to take advantage of it.
I had to text Austin I was running late, but traffic was OK. He was there, still in his work attired of zip up and trim-cut sweats. God, he looked like a million bucks. Cute yet masculine, his dimples forming as he gave a nervous smile.
"Hey," he said as he ushered me in.
I looked around. It felt like a bachelor's apartment. Clean and basic, not a lot of decoration. "Nice place," I said.
"Thanks," he said. "Have a seat," he gestured to the couch.
I sat down, facing him. The ball was in my court. "I know I've been standoffish lately," he started. "Austin... I can't hurt my family."
The younger man grimaced. "I know... I don't want you to, Scott. Seriously."
I felt a little relieved. This was unchartered territory for me. "I wasn't going to tell you... but I enjoyed what we did... a lot."
His eyes perked up. "For real?"
"Yeah," I admitted. "Maybe a little too much."
"Did that freak you out?" he asked. Concerned.
I shook my head. "Not in itself. More about the stepping out on Kelly part. And what it meant for my marriage."
"Oh," he said.
"Even if things haven't been great with Kelly lately, I'm not going to leave her," I said.
I could read in Austin's quietness he was nervous of saying the wrong thing. But he finally spoke up. “If you wanna fool around, Scott, I’m really discreet, I promise.”
I blushed. “Come on, Austin,” I pleaded. I very much liked the idea of what he was suggesting, and maybe that’s why I was pissed at him for suggesting it.
“Sorry,” he said. “I just had to try.”
“Sorry, Austin,” I said softly. I felt so many mixed emotions then. And yeah, I wanted him again. Wanted to feel more what sex was like with this stud. Instead, I stood up. “I better go,” I said.
He nodded. He stood up and walked me to the door. “Let me know if you’d like help finding another trainer,” he said with resignation.
I knew he was giving me an out. For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to take it. “I don’t want another trainer, Austin,” I said, frustration in my voice. “You’re good at what you do. I just need some boundaries.”
“I get it, Scott,” he said. “See you at the gym.”
I was actually hyperventilating when I get to my car. I didn’t start it right away though. Instead, I thought about what would happen if I’d let the conversation go the other way. “Fuck!” I grunted aloud to myself, then opened the car door.
Austin was surprised as hell when he answered the door and saw me there. I gathered my courage while I had it and stepped inside, shutting the door and then turning to him. ‘
“God,” he hissed, so turned on now that he realized what was going on. We met in a kiss, more heated than the one in the hotel room. It was like the several weeks had led to the pent-up lust that came pouring out. My first time with Austin had felt strange and unfamiliar, and in a way I was glad to have that behind me.
I got down in front of him, crouching right there. He was hard for me already, fully hard, and I could see that thick tool riding up into a tent of his sweats. He helped me pull off his sweats and with a goofy grin he hooked his thumbs in his waistband to pull it over his dong.
"I didn't get a look the last time," I said then looked up into his eyes. "I didn't think I'd get into a guy's dick like this."
"But you do...?" Austin clarified.
"Maybe because of the fine man it's attached to... but yeah." I looked at his cock again, thrilled to see it firm and pointing straight up. He wasn't giant but he was hung, and there was just something so beautiful about his erection. I looked back up into his face, where I saw happiness, excitement and thrill.
My hand touched his hard quad muscle and that’s all the signal he needed. He lined up his prick to my lips. "I’ve been thinking about this a lot, Mr. D," he whispered hoarsely.
I had been thinking a lot about this too. “Will sex get in the way of the friendship thing?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Fuck no, Scott." Then. “Come on, pretty please, man. Suck me.”
I breathed in his scent, then leaned in. "Ohhh," he grunted as I began sucking him.
I didn't know what I was doing last time. I still didn't. But I knew I was better at this, and I could read in Austin's voice and body that he was crazy turned on. I was learning my suit was part of the thrill for him and the whole "exec" type I represented to him.
I pulled off and enjoyed the sight of his engorged cock, twitching and wet with my spit. Not far from shooting.
"When you feel ready, just come in my mouth, OK?" I asked.
He nodded like he couldn't believe what was happening. That made me want to give it my all. I took about four inches into my mouth, making it five as I bobbed up and down furiously. My gag reflex didn't kick in, which I was grateful for. I'd missed this, missed the feel and act of a cock in my mouth. Missed making another man cum.
Austin's load was big. It took me by surprise and I coughed a little before I remembered what he did last time. I pulled back so the prick head spurted on my tongue. I don't know if that felt best for Austin, but I decided I loved that part. I tasted and swallowed him, in a couple of rounds, till the poor guy was spent.
"Let me do you," he urged.
I was horny but self conscious. I unzipped my suit as Austin got between my legs, running his hands along the fabric. "I'm not hung you like I'm afraid."
"I love your cock," he said. Then looking up in my eyes, he added. "For real, Scott. Everything about you turns me on." He leaned in for a kiss and I met him. A part of me wanted to avoid the kissing thing but I decided oral sex was a bigger issue. Besides, I wanted this. I kissed Austin back.
His soft kiss, full of gentle tongue, got me rock hard and leaking. He smirked as he pulled back and saw my dick poking up hard out of the open fly. "You're hard as steel," he said. "I love it."
I watched as he got down and started going down on me. I guess I didn't have a lot of length, and Austin managed to work the whole length with lots of spit and lots of suction. Kelly very occasionally gave me head, but it was nothing like this.
"Buddy!" I gasped. Warning him.
He moaned around my cock. This was the first time I'd blasted in another man's mouth since college. But this was night and day different. This was Austin.
He was more talkative after we uncoupled. "Damn, that was incredible," Austin laughed. I realized I missed his laugh and his smile. I missed laidback, happy Austin.
He made himself presentable again and offered me something to drink. I took some water.
"Trust me, Scott," he assured me. "I'm not going to do anything to mess up anything for you at home. But I'm so fucking grateful for that."
"I'm glad," I said. "I've been thinking about the sex for the last three weeks."
"I wasn't sure..." he said. He looked at his watch. "Listen, you're gonna be late for the club. And I probably need a nap before my evening sessions."
I stood up. I found getting off had eased my mood, and I was still processing how good Austin's blowjob had felt. "I'm being greedy," I said. "But maybe I can get away sometime this weekend. That is, if you wanna?"
"Hell yeah, I wanna," he said softly. And with a new confidence he stepped up to me to kiss me. He ran his hands up along the lapels of my coat. “And maybe you can wear your suit for me again sometime.”
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mayday-jd · 4 months
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alr I lied I gotta talk about smth else quickly
• so remember when I mentioned branch's reaction to the country song when they entered lonesome flats??
yeah now let's talk about how poppy reacted
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poppy hears the song then concludes that the country trolls are miserable and don't know how to have fun
and what better way to make them have fun?? force them to listen to pop music.
cough cough barb parallels COUGH
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ofc that doesn't work the country trolls are appalled by their pop medley
all of them... except for hickory
I think poppy was drawn to hickory because he was the only one that seemed to along with what she had to say without any complaints basically he said what she wanted to hear so she trusted him wholeheartedly
now let's actually get into my favorite part of this movie
• I LOVE THE FUNK TROLLS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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I don't think you need a genius to figure out that these are black folks LIKE LOOK AT THEM AND LISTEN TO THE QUEEN ESSENCE
guys the vas of the royal funk family are all black. ik maybe doesn't mean anything BUT MAYBE IT DOES ALR
anyways no matter what race the funk trolls may be they still play such an important role in this movie and let me tell y'all why and how
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thru their encounter with the funk trolls, our pop trolls duo (yeah biggie left) learn three important things :
- differences do matter, they're a part of our identity and it would be wrong to ignore them
- even with those differences and origins, trolls still can be multiple/different things (ex.: cooper who says that he's pop AND funk, prince d who identifies as a hip pop troll which is not on poppy's outdated ass map)
- yeah that story poppy heard from the pop trolls' perspective?? yeah no that's not how it actually happened
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explained beautifully by anderson .paak's song, the pop trolls stole all the strings, used them to make their kind of music and cut out the other trolls from the music scene
in the words of prince d
"That's just the story cut out and glued by the winners"
AND YES THAT'S HISTORY FOR YA
different retellings, stories of what happened from another pov because guess which perspective you read from the history books?? the winners.
poppy hears all this and y'all idk if it's because poppy's voiced by anna kendrick but this is where all I could think about of was white saviour complex
because this girl is still all about uniting all trolls so they'll live in harmony and yes it comes from a good place but she's just not getting it and fucking hell 😭
she does get the message at the end of the movie after finally meeting barb and speaking of her....
• barb is awful and that's what makes her a great character
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as we all know barb's plan is so "unite" all troll nations under the rule of hard rock which is not uniting that's just assimilation
where poppy's desire for every troll to live together in harmony all united by music, barb's comes from a sense of superiority and maybe even pity
evident by every moment she steals a string, barb comments on the other trolls' music with insults which justifies why their music isn't real music while hers is
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what's funny is that barb and poppy are very similar
they both really want to prove themselves as good queens, they desire for all trolls to be united and, even if poppy won't admit it, they both see their music as superior tho that degree of superiority is very different
where the similarities end are that barb doesn't want everyone around her to say what she wants to hear, she wants ppl to be real to her, meanwhile poppy refuses to hear anyone else's voice because it's different from hers
which leads to another difference between the two, poppy learns to listen to others because
"A real queen listens." (both said by her and branch)
now let's talk about that finale shall we??
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flowerandblood · 6 months
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Make your mutuals smile 💐
Write what you love about them and why, or just praise them, share your favorite memories or chats. In the times when everyone get so much underserved hate from anons let's spread some warm feelings.
@ewanmitchellcrumbs - Ange, you're the most warm, understanding, caring person I know here. I know that sometimes you feel like your mutuals don't give in return as much as they could and you're right, but know how much you're appreciated. You're not only talented writer that can write almost EVERTYHING but your knowledge about Ewan and fandom is soooo big, I love to read your answers to asks! You feed this fandom so well, without you it wouldn't be the same.
@zenka69 - You're with me from the very beginning, supportive and caring, my sweet polish friend! Thanks to you I wanted to write more of the "My Best Friend" and well, I wrote so many fics from then on and you're still with me!!!
@sagelovesreading - My sweet friend, our talks on priv warms my heart as much as your comments. I love to talk to you, you're so sweet, gentle person, I love how emotionally you're approaching my works, and I'm so happy that you have to courage to write to me!!!!
@valeskafics - You're so sweet, self conscious person, so talented and funny, I love you with all my heart! Love to read your fics and your answers, you're hilarious but so supportive too, your reblogs makes my heart melt and I always wait for them!
@barbieaemond - You're so fuckin talented, your gifs are just chef's kiss, but your Red Bird is soooo good already! I know that you get couple of mean anons but fuck them, I love how you wirite Aemond, I love that you decide to write OC and not normal "reader" even if people prefer the second more because it feels like YOUR story and I want to read it even more because of that.
@targaryenrealnessdarling - I would have to write an essay about how talented you are, literally everything you write makes me feral, you're so kind, so good, so funny, you writes your characters so well and don't afraid to show really dark Aemond even when some of people would be whining about it.
@asumofwords - We don't know each other at all but well I LOVE YOU OKAY you're the best writer here, I read everything you update and it's always SO GOOD, you write your characters, scenes and emotions so well, you are so funny and bitchy, don't give a shit about weird or mean asks, I want to be like you!!!
@echos-muses - Echo I loveee youuuu, I love your reblogs and comments, often makes me laugh so hard, love our chats in reblogs on more mature topics too, so good to have here person like you too.
@happinessinthebeing - Your comments and ask makes my heart melt, you're so sweet and caring, love to talk to you and read all you're writing to me, I would hug you if I could!!!!
@oneeyedvisenya - I'm so grateful that I found your fics and then saw that you had reblogged some of my works. Literally it was one of the happiest things that happened to me here because I love your works so much and it meant so much to me! Waiting for your new works!!!!
@theoneeyedprince - Justine, my fellow polish girl, I love you so much and our little talks, I love how we are supportive to each other! This is so great to have here someone from my own country how writes so we'll, I would love some new modern series from you, hihi.
@aemondx - I love your gifs so much and I'm so happy that you liked my HP series! Makes my blush ughhhh!!! So talented!!!!
@notnormalthings-blog - I love you and your reblogs so much, you make me laugh so hard, I just can't, always waiting for your reactions and gifs!!!!
@persephonelovesbooks - I love you so much, you're with me from the earliest times of my writing, always so supportive, ugh, I can't say how much I enjoy interacting with you!
@aemondsmoon - You make me so happy with your reblogs and reactions, you're so sweet and kind, just ughhh, I hope that after my return to Poland I will have a time to read some of your fics!!!!!!!
I would write like that for on and one, but here so honorable mentions of people I just love for they comments, reactions, support. You make my day better guys! I'm sorry if I didn't mention someone, I love all you people, interacting or not!!!
@melsunshine @immyowndefender @bellaisasleep @ammo23 @chainsawsangel @letmeloveyouuuu @hiatuswhore
You don have to reblog or tag anyone, just I want you to let you know that I love you guys! You can share it and reblogs if you want of course, kisses! 💋💋💋
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notesfromtheidiotbox · 3 months
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I'm showing a picture of this post instead of reblogging because I don't want to distract from OP's point, but the various comments and reblogs all seem to have a common thread of "how did this happen? Why don't people seem to care?"
My personal theory is widespread compassion fatigue. It's finally ingrained itself fully into our collective psyche. And I'm not just talking about recent events either.
I'm 47 years old. I've lived through the end of the Cold War, two Gulf Wars, one major terrorist attack on US soil that upended literally EVERYTHING about everyday life in the US, the rising threat of climate change, a once in a century pandemic, multiple boom-and-bust economic cycles, the rise of the internet and with it the rise of accessibility of both information and MISinformation, multiple smaller conflicts around the world, the change in corporate attitudes from "we serve our customers our products faithfully and loyally" to "fuck you! That's our money in your wallet and we're not even going to pretend we thought of you as anything else anymore," the creeping resurgence of fascism as a political ideology in the US not seen since the 30s and early 40s,* rapidly rising inflation and wage stagnation without any sort of action to mitigate it for most of the population. and literally hundreds to thousands of people online yelling at each other for not "doing more," "doing better," or for not supporting/believing/doing the right things in the right way.
I honestly think the compassion/empathy tank is not just empty in the US, it's burned through the fumes and is now bone dry.
Being as generous as possible with the timeline, ever since 2001**, what we laughingly call the news in this country has served us a 24/7 diet of crisis after crisis, with no respite. It's ebbed and flowed, of course, but the general message has been "everything is getting worse, nobody is going to save us, we can't solve the existential threats of war, disease, famine, climate change, racism, and lethal prejudice that exists everywhere." And while collective action has garnered several significant victories, the attitude is still "this won't work because everybody has their own ideas of what needs to be done and how to do it and spend more time arguing over the details rather than doing anything***"
I think we don't care because we just CAN'T anymore. Even the things we would normally use to recharge ourselves aren't working. The food doesn't taste good, the entertainment is turning into forgettable sludge by the rapid rise of streaming, and it seems like you aren't allowed to be anywhere in public without spending money, and if you aren't required to spend money to be somewhere, odds are if you stay there for too long you'll have somebody giving you the side eye and demanding an explanation.
And online? Anger, dehumanization, and the constant cry of any sincere expression of joy or excitement is "cringe."
22 years of being constantly told the world is shit, humans are awful, you only have as much value as your bank account has digits, your employers don't respect you or the customers who get affected by their boneheaded decisions, leaving you to take the bullet, and constant reminders if problems which are too big to be solved in our lifetime.****
We're all tired, and we're beaten down, and we just don't have any more fucks to give about the latest crisis created by those in positions of power for what we are realizing are the most petty and stupid reasons.
There isn't a one size fits all solution here. But that's pretty much what I think has happened: the people of the United States in general have reached a point where we don't have the emotional capacity to deal with any more of this seemingly unsolvable shit. And I honestly think it's going to continue to get worse before it starts to get better.
Try to take care of each other out there, okay?
--
*For younger readers: oh yeah, during Hitler's rise to power until Pearl Harbor, there were PLENTY of people who thought Hitler was just swell.
** I'd actually argue the trauma cycle started with Vietnam, but it really accelerated with the 24 hour news cycle, the increase in internet speeds, and the events of 9/11.
***On a related note, be EXTREMELY leery of those online who won't accept anything but full-scale revolution as a remedy. Most of the time, these people have no plan for what comes after or seem to think that when society collapses, they'll be on top of the pile, ready to be the boot.
****The kinds of changes that would be needed to wipe out war, prejudice, and many other systemic problems are probably going to take decades, if not centuries. And because of the always on demand nature of society right now, a lot of people seem to have a real problem wrapping their heads around that. Change for the worse happens immediately. Change for the better takes a LOT longer.
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wiypt-writes · 1 year
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Rawhide
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Chapter 13: Put On Your Red Shoes And Dance The Blues
Summay: It’s the clash of the titans as Hydra and Shield finally face off, but as Rumlow and Steve come to serious blows, you realise that the only way to end it all might be to sacrifice the thing you value the most…
Warnings: Descriptions of violence, angst, language…more angst…death…ooooh but who???
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction. I do not own any characters contained within, bar the reader and any other OCs that may be mentioned. I do not give consent for my work to be reposted/translated to any other site. Please comment, like and reblog.
W/C: 5.4k
A/N: So here it is, the penultimate chapter! Thanks to @spectre-posts for reading and adding in her thoughts...
Main Masterlist // Rawhide Masterlist Chapter 12
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Rumlow blazed around the office he was in, kicking the chair over as he went. Langley, long used to his friend and leader’s temper tantrums, merely took a deep breath as he waited. 
“I will not have your Omega sister and her weakling pack get the better of me!”
“Look, if it wasn’t for Carter…”
“How the fuck did you not spot that she was a double agent?”
“Well, technically she was kind of a triple agent.” Bryce’s nostrils flared. “I mean, if she’d been Hydra pretending to be Shield, that would have made her the double agent, wouldn’t it? But she was Shield, pretending to be Hydra pretending to be Shield I mean…” He was cut off as Rumlow gripped him round the throat. Langley automatically landed a punch to the side of Rumlow’s face, and the man dropped him, recoiling from the blow a little. “Know your place, Brock…” he hissed, massaging his neck. “My family put you at the top of Hydra, remember that.”
Rumlow snarled before he sank down into the chair. “And we have no idea where they’ve gone?”
“If we did, you think we’d be here?” Bryce scoffed, “We’ve spent the last two weeks searching. Problem is, Shield have mobilised now they know that we’re gearing up for a fight. Up until your…experiment on my sister, they had no real proof. Now they do. Blue states up and down the country are taking up arms. Even those people that maybe hovered between accepting some of our views but not all of them are swinging to their side because they don't support another war. Montana is now basically impenetrable thanks to Odinson and Stark…”
“They won’t be in Montana, that’s too easy.” Rumlow shook his head. “Locking the state down…that’ll be a diversion.”
“I know that!” Bryce snorted.
“Boss?” 
Both men looked towards the door, where Rollins stood, an excited look on his face.
“What?”
“We might have a lead. One of our sources has seen two people, matching the description of Y/N and Rogers, in Bristol. Church Street Wharf to be exact.”
“Is it legit?” Rumlow demanded.
The guard nodded, “he’s a solid source, and what’s more so, he’s taken a recording on his phone so that we can verify it. He’s sending it through now.”
*****
The more you tried to pull your arm away from Steve, the stronger his grip was. The tears were now pouring down you face.
“Steve…let me go…”
“I can’t do that Omega, I need to keep you safe.”
“You can’t!” You sobbed, “I’m sorry, I love you, I really do but…Rumlow, that stuff he shot me with…”
“Was fake…” His voice was desperate, and you shook your head, sadly.
“I wish it was, but he did something to me…there’s something going on and all I know is I can’t fight the Omega part of me anymore…it’s wants him and it disgusts me! Why do you think I ran? Huh? I can’t trust myself!”
“Please, baby…” Steve’s face broke and a piece of your soul did too, and he released his hold on your wrist. “Just please, ‘Y/N get on the ferry… Banner is working on it as we speak, we can fix this. I know we can. We’ll go back until he figures out how to reverse whatever it is that it’s done. You don’t need to leave!”
“You know he ain’t gonna be able to,” you shook our head. “This is breaking my heart and it hurts so much because I love you…I know I do, but…it burns inside…every time you kiss me it really burns because my body is telling me I’m his now, and…”
“Don’t…don’t say that…our bond…” Steve’s eyes were full of tears.
“It’s fading…” you swallowed, hand pressing at the mark on your neck as you cast your eyes down, “don’t pretend you haven’t noticed…” At that your fingers moved your collar aside to show him. Steve studied the once prominent infinity bond on your skin, and he felt his chest ache and throat as he studied it. You were right, it did look a little lighter.
He took a deep breath, his voice cracking.  “Please… just please, come back. Give it a month, or a week. Let Banner try…”
“You have Hydra to…”
“Fuck Hydra!” Steve snapped, his hand running through his hair, before both his large palms covered his face. With a groan, he dragged his fingers back down through his beard and shook his head. “I don’t care about them, not anymore. I love you, I can’t live without you…you gotta give us a chance…”
“You know what the awful thing about all this is?” You whispered, wiping the tears from your face. “You haven’t once tried to Alpha Command me to do as you say.”
“I don’t want to…why-“
“And we both know why.” You smiled sadly, “you don’t want to because you’re scared it won’t work. Scared that I won’t answer to you anymore.” From the look on Steve’s face, you were right. You looked around, your arms hugging your chest, before you took a deep breath. “Fine, I’ll…I’ll come back..but…I can’t…I can’t promise…”
“I know…” His lips brushed your forehead, “but we gotta try, huh?”
You nodded, and looked at his hand as he held it out. Tentatively, you slipped your palm into his, fingers twining together. Steve pulled you into him a little, casting what he hoped was a surreptitious look around, before he led you back towards the ferry.
Neither of you noticed the man a few yards away, with his phone out, pointing the camera in your direction…
*******
As the video cut off, Rumlow scoffed. “Pathetic. He’s actually begging her…”
“Where does that Ferry go?” Bryce looked at Rollins.
“Prudence Island. Secluded enough for a safe house.”  He smirked.
There was a pause as Rumlow and Langley digested that news, before the latter broke the silence. “It could be a trap.”
“I don’t think so.” Rollins shook his head. “They were taking great pains to hide from the CCTV, if it hadn’t been for our guy being there, right place right time…”
“Rogers ain’t that smart.” Rumlow shook his head, “and it aint his style. He’s a soldier, like me. But he’s also persistently blinded by his need to do the right thing, the honourable thing, meaning he doesn’t always see the bigger picture.” His fingers drummed on the desk as he mused through his thoughts. “You know, I’ve been waiting for his Alpha Challenge for the past two weeks, fighting to defend his little Omega Whore’s honour, but it never came. And now we know why.” Rumlow then chuckled. “He’s had bigger issues, because the serum worked.”
“Looks that way…” Langley arched a brow.
“So there’s nothing to make us assume the Alpha one won’t.” Rollins cut in, and Rumlow pointed at him, nodding.
“Guess not.” Langley spoke again, his voice flat.
“What is the matter with you?” Rumlow looked at him.
“I don’t know, I’m just not sold…”
“More like you want to take the serum yourself, because you can’t stand the fact that soon you’ll have no chance against me in a fight.”  Rumlow rose from his seat as Bryce scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Well, neither will Rogers. I almost had him beat last time, and that was without the serum. If it hadn’t been for his guard dog… “ he trailed off and looked at Rollins. “Tell everyone to ready the lab…I want it doing this afternoon. In the meantime, get some of our troops out undercover, see if we can locate this safe house.” He moved out from behind the desk, stopping as he smirked once more. “Shouldn’t take too long, Prudence Island ain’t that big… “
******
“You think this plan is gonna work?” Clint asked from his vantage point in the tree that sat on the boundary of the property. 
“Not if you keep talking.” Bucky mumbled back. 
"Not for nothing, Steve's thrown it together quick and our girl in there seems a bit...."
“She’s nervous, wouldn’t you be?” Natasha spoke over the comms. “Stop talking and keep your focus. They could be anywhere.”
"Yes, ma'am, Widow ma'am." Clint snickered.
“Amateur.” She replied sardonically
Sam cut through, "knock it, we've got incoming."
Clint scanned the horizon, his sharp eyes licking up t hee movement of a vehicle. The headlights off. “I see it. Can’t tell if it’s  them…”
“Who else is it gonna be?” Bucky snarled.
“A lost civilian…” Clint replied.
“Quit stalling, light ‘em up Hawkeye.”
"With pleasure."
Clint reached for one of his arrows, clicking the small button on the side to arm it. He took aim, and let it fly. It landed perfectly, five foot or so in front of the vehicle, exploding upon impact with the ground.
The car swerved and came to an abrupt stop. Two men exited, armed and scanning the area.
“He he he,” Sam chuckled, “I love it when they do that.”
Clint selected another arrow, “let’s see if this gives them the message…”
This time, upon hitting the ground, it sent off loud crackles of gunfire. The two men were quick to duck and dive back into the car.
Bucky sent a round of ammo their way, watching as it pinged off the bonnet of the car as the driver put it hastily in reverse. It down round, and Bucky continued to shoot until it was out of sight.
“Well, that saw them off…” Sam stated.
“They’ll be back, that was just the scouting party.” Bucky sighed, “I’m gonna head up to the house. Natasha, Clint, any more trouble holler.”
"You got it," Nat replied, her comms giving a crackle as she did so.
Bucky made it back within ten minutes. Steve and yourself awaiting news. "Scouting party cracked through, I'm estimating we'll have about thirty before enforcers show."
Steve didn’t miss the spike of fear that shot through you, your hand instantly moving to your bond mark, but it stopped short of touching it.
Rather, you rested your fingers against your collarbone and tucked your other wrist under your bent elbow. "We should be ready. Rumlow will send everyone, then he'll follow. I don't doubt Bryce will be by his side. He's not the enforcement type."
"Well it's taken them longer than we anticipated." Steve looked at you then to Bucky. "How far out s Fury and the rest of back up? "
Bucky called it in, "Hill says ETA thirty."
"Steve..." You whispered.
"I know. But it's a fight we have to take."
You stood numb. You knew that Steve was right. Rumlow wouldn't stop at anything not until he had you. "Stick to the plan." Steve looked at Bucky then turned to you. “Please, stay hidden in the storm shelter. Banner will be there…”
Your breath shook as it left your lungs. "I..."
“Omega…”
“I’ll take her.” Bucky said, “c’mon, Doll…we don’t have much time.”
Your pleading eyes looking at Steve for a final chance, but he just stared. A snarl to his features. You steeled yourself and turned away, following Bucky out the back door.
*****
The sound of gun shots, the unmistaken yells and grunts of fighting rang out in the air in the grounds surrounding the safe house. Hydra had come, and come in numbers.
For the most, Shield held their own. Fury, Hill and Coulson directing their troops, as Steve commanded his. 
But he had one person on his mind, Rumlow. And so far, he was nowhere to be found.
Fury's team had wounded and casualties. Steve and his team, few scratches, close calls and oh there would be bruises. But it was no longer just a battle, this was an all out war. The open fields gave little cover. The tree lines smoked and burned.
Steve dispatched two agents easily, Bucky to his left as they charged through the ranks.
“Where the hell is he?” Steve yelled, “where is Rumlow?”
“I haven’t seen him…” Thor replied, swinging his arm as he took out three agents at once. Steve then raised his shield and sent it flying in an arc, the familiar whoosh and clang almost soothing to him as it flew back to his arm having ricochet off numerous soldiers.
"I'm getting a little tired of," he paused to throw his shield into the neck of a goon, "playing these games."
“Yeah, as far as games go I’ve played with better odds.” Tony’s voice cackled on the comms.
No sooner had Tony spoken, a loud rumble sounded and Steve instinctively looked up to see a large black and red helicopter approaching from the distance.
“Hydra?”
“It ain’t ours!” Fury yelled back.
"It's about time," Steve growled.
The Hydra troops seemed to pull back and part as the chopper circled. Fury and Hill yelled at their soldiers to fall in as Steve stood still, watching as it touched down in the middle of the field.
Steve's steel gaze stared as Rumlow exited the doors, fourth in line. Bryce preceded him as did two armed men. Sam's comms broke the deaf air.
"I got three more this way," he grunted as others piled out from the other side.
“I see them…” Steve muttered. His eyes then turned back to Rumlow.
There was a snide, almost prideful smirk on his face as he stared back at Steve.
“Where’s your little bitch?” His voice rang out across the battle lines.
Steve wasted zero time sending his shield in reply. He wasn't in the mood for talking.
Rumlow managed to grab one of the soldiers to his side, pushing him into the shields path. He gave a yell and a grunt as he fell to the floor, the shield bouncing back to Steve’s arm.
“Oh, okay…well, doesn’t really matter. Once I’ve killed you, she’ll be mine anyway. That is, if she isn’t already.”
At that Steve audibly scoffed. “What do you mean by that? Course she isn’t yours, she’s mine. We share a Soul Bond.”
Rumlow scoffed, “cut the shit, Rogers, we both know that’s a load of crap. Her mark is fading, I know all about it!”
Steve’s face visibly faltered, even if his stance didn’t.
“Guess that serum I injected her with worked better than I thought.” Rumlow continued to goad Steve. “But, how about we put the one I took to the rest, huh?”
Steve sent his Shield in Bucky's direction, the former soldier catching it quickly. He cracked his neck and his knuckles, "let's dance."
“He’s mine!” Rumlow yelled out, as he advanced, “kill the rest of them but leave him to me!”
The private protection spread out, leaving Rumlow alone; including Bryce.
“I’m gonna enjoy this,” Rumlow picked up the pace as the rest of the Hydra army also began to rush forward once more.
Like a clash of titans, the two came at one another. Steve made first contact, his right hook sending Rumlow a step or two back. Rumlow cracked his neck as he went in with a punch of his own. Steve was quick to duck, flying in with a left hander to Rumlow’s gut.
Rumlow bent forward and Steve's well padded knee met the Hydra head's nose. He dropped down to the decaying grass with a thud, his back finding no cushion. As Steve drew his hand back for another punch, Rumlow rolled to the side and the captains fist connected with the floor where seconds before, his opponents head had been.
It gave Brock the opportunity to get to his knees and wrap a forearm around Steve's neck. But with his fast reflexes, Steve flung Rumlow over him and onto his back again.
"I'm gonna fuckin' kill you, you son of a bitch."
Not even winded, Rumlow cackled and fixed a hooked knee over Steve and pulled his right arm through for an arm bar in defense.
With just a split-second of freedom before his arm was straightened, Steve grabbed onto his lapel with his trapped right arm. He slid his left elbow under Rumlow’s right leg and began shuffling his own legs around to the side. His hips under Rumlow’s foot, he began to twist and roll, eventually turning his entire body inwards which allows him to sneak his head out of the vice like grip. 
Rumlow lost his grip entirely on the Shield Captain and he flexed his back and popped right up. He dove at Steve's midsection but, his tackle failed and Steve was able to suplex him again to the ground.
"Serum's a fail, you fuck."
Rumlow laughed, “shows what you know.“
"I'm waiting."
Rumlow stood straight, grinning as he seemed to be weighing something up. And then, Steve saw the flash of a blade as it slid down the mans sleeve.
“So much for a fair fight…” Steve arched his brow.
“Fuck fair,” Rumlow gripped the blade in his right hand, “I came to win.”
Steve knew his hand to hand combat was already top game, but he knew how quick Hydra could train with a blade. But Steve did as Steve always did, and didn't back down. Instead, he stuck his arm out and extended his hand. He opened and closed his fist, inviting Rumlow to come at him again.
Rumlow slashed at the air in front of him, causing Steve to jump back. Again and again the blade swiped him, Steve dodging in what felt like some kind of perverse dance. Left, right, back, forward, twist…
But, a stray bullet hissing by caused Steve to dodge that ultimately setting himself up for a prick to his side from the blade. He hissed, jumped backwards, and as he did so he heard a yell to his right.
A familiar voice.
Despite himself, he turned and saw Natasha crumpled on the floor, blood pouring from a wound in her neck.
"Nat!"
He saw a whirl as Bucky flew past, diving at Langley who had administered the blow, taking him down in a tangle of limbs. The two men began to grapple, flashes of metal arched through the air, Bucky using Steve’s shield to deflect the blows from a now rabid Langley.
Steve stood, watching his friend for a split second, but it was a split second too long. It was the distraction Rumlow had needed, and before Steve had time to realise what was happening, he felt a searing pain in the back of his thigh.
Rumlow had taken advantage and plunged the blade into his leg.
Steve dropped to one knee, and then the blow to his face from Rumlow’s foot caused him to crumple backwards. “You know, that’s always been your weakness, Rogers. Your friends. Loyalty. You care too much. It’s the reason you could never be a ruler, never be as great as Hydra has made me.”
Steve spat the blood out of his mouth. He moved to get up when another blow hit him in the face. 
“You can’t see the bigger picture, can’t see that sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for the greater good…” Rumlow leered over him as Steve lay, the blood from his nose trickling down his throat.
Then he saw the blade as it moved in Rumlow’s hand. And the he gasped as the man’s knee pressed into the middle of his chest.
“Imma enjoy this…almost as much as I’m going to enjoy breaking in Y/N. My only regret is you won’t be there to see it.”
Steve swallowed, attempting to buck Rumlow off, but it was no good. His eyes tracked the blade as it moved towards his neck, and then your voice filled his head.
“I got you, Alpha…”
Before he could even scan the area for you, your shout rang out loud and clear.
“Enough…Brock! Enough…”
Rumlow's head snapped in your direction, distracted and amazed.
“Call them off.” You swallowed, “let Steve go and…you can have me.”
Steve's eyes went wide. "No!" He argued.
A sadistic laugh rumbled Brock's chest, "Oh, 'Mega, I'm gonna enjoy this."
A final harsh blow to the side of Steve’s head left him seeing stars as you felt the tears prick your eyes. Your gaze then flicked to Natasha. Bruce (who you’d arrived with) was now tending to her, attempting to stop the blood flow.
Everyone seemed to have stood still, Hydra and Shield alike. Bucky and Sam took the opportunity to head over to where Steve was laid, unmoving on the floor, whilst Pete, Tony, Thor and Clint all gathered round Natasha and Bruce, shielding them from any attack which may or may not be oncoming.
“Little Bird…” Thor began but you shook your head.
“This isn’t worth it…I’m not worth it.” You whispered, your eyes flicking from him, to Natasha who was thankfully conscious, and then to Steve. Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath, and looked at Rumlow as he advanced towards you. “You got what you wanted. Just call this off. Please.“
As he stood in front of you, his hand gripped your wrist painfully and his eyes studied your neck. “Well, well…not so infinite, huh…”
The way he pronounced the word, like it was something dirty, made you choke a little as you licked your lips. “Oh, it was…until you…you injected me. It’s been fading ever since. If it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t have stood a chance. And you’ll always know that, no matter what you do to me. That you couldn’t ever have taken me, or defeated Steve, without that Serum. Because you simply weren’t strong enough.”
A stinging blow landed to your face and you heard a roar from Steve, who was now staggering to his feet. He swayed, as Bucky and Sam held him up.
“Rumlow…I’m…”
“You’ll what?” Brock laughed, “I have her, she’s here. Begging for me to take her and save you.”
Steve looked at you, and you blinked back the tears. “Steve…”
“Please don’t…” he whispered.
“Please don’t...” Rumlow mocked, “God, you really are fucking pathetic. That all you got, ‘please don’t’? You can’t even stop your Omega from sacrificing herself…” He looked down at you, then to Bryce, and finally to Steve. “I mean…one Alpha command from you would stop this but….oh, yeah, silly me…I forgot. Your bond…it’s worthless now.”
Rumlow yanked you closer towards him. Steve made a move, a snarl rippling from his chest but Bucky and Sam were quick to hold him back. They knew that they were beat, and Steve wouldn’t make it two steps towards you before being gunned down.
A hand gripped your hair and your head was yanked painfully to the side, exposing your mating gland and the faded gold infinity bond. Smirking, Rumlow’s  gaze on the defeated faction, his tongue fell from his mouth and laved up your neck.
You winced, your eyes filling with tears as they locked onto Steve’s face. His expression was sheer devastation.
“I’m sorry…” you whispered, those blue eyes you knew and loved were swimming with tears and you couldn’t look anymore.
With a sigh, you closed your own. And then, as Rumlow’s sharp teeth latched onto your neck skin, the sound of your beloved Alpha’s bellows of distress were the only thing you could focus on. You waited with your eyes screwed shut, every nerve in your body was on fire, the adrenaline coursing through your blood as you fought the instinct to scream.  You could hear nothing but your pulse thudding in your ears, Rumlow’s pants and groans of delight as he laved up the blood on your neck.
And then, you felt him pull back, a frown on his face.
“What’s the matter, Brock…” you whispered, as you opened your eyes, “don’t I taste good?”
For a moment, he merely blinked, and then he moved his hand, pulling the thin, flesh like strip from his mouth. “What the…”
“One of Erskine and Banner’s inventions.” You spoke softly, as he looked at the two puncture marks where his teeth had bitten into the curious item he now held in his palm. “Still in the prototype phase, doesn’t have a name yet but…oh, and speaking of Erskine… the serums were both fake. Shield switched them out before you raided the lab.”
You saw his gaze slide to your neck, and his features slid from puzzlement, to shock, to anger in a matter of seconds as he saw your Soul Bond was there, as bright and as vivid as it always had been.
“Gotcha,” you smirked.
****
24 Hours Ago…
After your little scene at the ferry port, you and Steve made your way back to the safe house. You followed your alpha to the door, where it was opened from the inside. Bucky, Sam and Clint waiting for the pair of you.
“Banner not here yet?” Steve asked as you headed in.
“No, he’s still putting the finishing touches to the, well whatever you wanna call it. As soon as he’s done then he’ll be on his way with Tony and Thor.” Sam informed.
“And he’s confident it’ll work.”
“It’s a potent neurotoxin.” Bucky nodded, “the only reason we’ve never used it before is because there’s no known antidote.”
Steve took a deep breath, “well, let’s just say I’m very glad Hydra didn’t get their hands on that…”
Client's eyes drew up, "how'd it go? Play the part?"
“Oscar worthy.” Steve smirked, and despite yourself you grinned.
“Think they’ll find this place?” Bucky asked.
“Yeah, we made sure our vehicle was noticeable.” You nodded.
"Now, we wait." Bucky nodded.
As you waited, you went through your plan, over and over again. The first part was already in play. By pretending that the serum had worked, that you were feeling its effects and as such, your bond to Steve was fading, it would give Rumlow false confirmation that the Alpha serum would make him stronger. This, you hoped, would cause his arrogance to win out, have him mobilise and break cover, and more over leave him complacent on the battlefield.
Whilst Steve was still intent on ripping Rumlow’s head off, he had acquiesced and listened when you’d pleaded with him that you needed a plan B. And, after days of deliberation and plotting, that plan was finalised. Should Rumlow get the drop on Steve, then in you’d come, acting the part of the subservient Omega, all the time having a deadly poison concealed on your body. Concealed in plain sight, a small invisible pouch right over your mating gland. You knew Rumlow wouldn’t be able to stop himself from taunting Steve, that he’d try to bond you there and then, and when he did, his teeth would pierce the pouch, unleashing a fast acting, deadly neurotoxin, that would leave him dead in a matter of minutes.
Steve wasn’t completely happy about it, and you knew that he would do his absolute utmost to not even let it get to the point of needing to use you, but you also had no intention of letting any of your friends die. No matter what, you’d be walking onto that battle field and offering yourself up. Because, for some reason, you knew it had to be that way. You knew it had to be you.
A few hours post your return, Steve’s phone went and it was Natasha.
“They’re in the area, just picked two of their goons up. Following the route your car did.”
“Alright, hang back…” Steve took a deep breath. “Inform Parker and have him call me when they pass his watch point. Then we’ll know for sure they’re following the trail.“
"You got it, Cap," she said.
Steve sensed the smirk in her voice.
With a scoff he cut the call, then looked at Bucky and Sam.
“You know the plan. The scout party needs to escape, notify Rumlow they’ve located us.”
"Got it," Sam replied. Bucky merely nodded. 
Clint picked up his bow and smirked. "'Bout time."
“Wait for my signal. As soon as Parker calls I’ll let you know.”
"Yup," Clint followed Sam and Bucky out.
You eyed Steve with a look of major worry. "I hope this works.
“Well, if Mohammed can’t go to the mountain…” he shrugged, “I know it’ll work.”
“What makes you so sure?”
Steve looked at you, before he smiled softly and pressed his lips to yours. “It’s your plan.”
*****
“You fucking bitch…” Rumlow snarled. Those Omega skills you’d been honing with Nat kicked in as you saw the blow coming a split second before he went to make it. You ducked under his arm and twirled around, backing up quickly towards where Steve was stood. Rumlow advanced on you but only made it three or four steps before he stopped, his eyes widening, as he struggled to take in air.
He grasped at his neck, clawing at the collar of his uniform as his face was rapidly turning a puce colour.
“Pretty potent neurotoxin.” You stepped back towards him. “I estimate you’ve got about thirty seconds left.”
You watched as Brock fell to his knees, scratching at the skin on his neck, and you looked down at him, your eyes locked on his, relishing the fact that his pupils were now blown with fear.
“Wanna know the really, really funny thing about all this?” You looked at him. “When I came up with our little plan, it was Thor that had the most faith in it working. Because he’s always said that it would be Hydra’s inability to embrace things that you cannot understand, those which you simply refuse to believe that would eventually be your downfall. And here we are.” You smiled, “I bet you never in a million years would have believed that a lowly Omega could even dream of such a plan, let alone enact it like I did. And, to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have been able to had it not for those extra little abilities my Soul Bond seems to have given me. You know, such as shielding my mind and emotions from you. Had you done your research, give any sort of credence to the fact that this-“ you ran your fingers over your mark, “-might actually be what the myths and legends say, you might not be about to die.”
At that point, Rumlow began to foam at the mouth, his body convulsing as he lay back. Blood was trickling from his nose and his eyes, as he lay looking up at you, the veins in his neck and temple popping. A gurgling noise rose from his throat, before he suddenly stilled, his head lolling to one side. Unseeing eyes looked out of his head, around at the Hydra troops who stood motionless, looking down at their now dead leader.
It was as if time had stood still, no one moved, no one said a word, that was until you heard a familiar voice screeching at you. You wheeled on the spot sharply, as you saw Bryce raise his gun in your direction.
And then it all seemed to happen in slow motion, Steve’s shield arched through the air, knocking the gun from his hand, as Bucky, Sam and Tony ran forward. Whilst Fury barked orders, you watched as the three men surrounding Bryce pushed him to his knees.
“I’ve told Hill and Coulson to clean up.” Fury spoke, as you kept your eyes locked onto your brothers, eyes that were so like your fathers. “They’re beaten, they know they are. We can get the back to our camp and then contact the World Security Council. We’re going to need their help if we want to unite the states…”
“Hydra will never be beaten…” Bryce shrieked his voice almost hysterical, “cut off one head…”
“Shut up.” Sam groaned.
“He has a point.” Steve spoke, looking at Fury. “As long as Hydra have someone to rally around, someone spouting their bullshit cause, they’ll never be gone. And, as such, neither will Shield. We agreed, neither faction can survive. This blue vs red…it has to stop.”
“Then we get rid of him.” Bucky stated, “what was it Rumlow said, you have to make sacrifices for the greater good…”
“Buck, we can’t…”
“Can’t what? Kill him? I assure you, we totally can…”
A heated debate then broke out, the phrase war crime being uttered once or twice, all the time you kept your eyes locked on your brother.  In that split second, a hundred memories from your previous life flooded your mind. The cruelty you'd suffered at his hands, the pain and anguish you'd felt when he had killed your first Alpha.
As you saw Colin's face flash to the forefront of the metaphorical slide show, all you could see was the fear in his face as he told you to run, before he turned back to what he knew would be his certain death, to give you chance to escape.
With a slow movement, you reached out your right hand…
Moments later, a loud bang echoed around the field, causing the arguing party to jump. Bryce slumped to the floor, a perfect shot landed right between his eyes. You were aware of everyone staring at you as you tossed Natasha’s gun to the floor and took a deep breath, simply staring at your dead brother’s body.
“Fuck Hydra, and fuck him.”
**Chapter 14**
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ohara-n-brown · 2 months
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I think the people that are asking others to vote for Biden are always missing a big thing.
I get the argument - 'Trump is worse and more of a threat to all of us, so you have to vote for Biden, he's the lesser of two evils!'
Okay, makes sense.
But these posts NEVER EVER bring up the moral dilemma, or how to handle it.
Why 'Blue No Matter Who' WON'T Work Right Now -
You are asking people to directly go against their morals and vote for a man funding genocide -
But then you refuse to give either
1) A way for those people to come to peace with their decision after the fact and
2) A way we're gonna hold Biden accountable AFTER he wins.
You are asking others to vote for a man funding genocide.
Okay, so once they do - and go home and lay in their beds - only to wake up two months later and see Biden sending another 10 billion dollars to Israel-
What moral comfort do you have to give them? For them, knowing that's their money and the man they put into power.
Do you have anything to say to them? Nothing? Because you don't care?
How do you expect them to sleep knowing they've betrayed their morals? Or do you think betraying your morals is something someone can outright choose to do with no mental reprecussions?
And this isn't just some abstract comment. I'm being LITERAL. We all have to go against our morals at least each in our life yes, but you still have to deal with the emotional aftermath.
You all are asking people to set aside their morals without acknowledging that morals, and without justification for it after the fact.
Really, those posts sound like 'Please vote for Biden, we know he's funding a genocide and you don't like that. But PLEASE it's so important. Oh thanks, you voted for him. Wait you feel guilty?.... Not my problem.'
And two - you're providing NO SOLUTION for Biden's behavior.
Biden has been funding a genocide. In the last 130 days he has sent BILLIONS of taxpayer dollars to a foreign country for genocide and war.
You want me to vote for him. And then you never ever ever mention how you plan to get him to STOP doing these things.
You're telling me 'Trump is dangerous! He doesn't listen to the people, he dehumanizes the oppressed and wants them dead!'
Okay, true.
But if Biden ends up in office AGAIN how are we gonna stop him from continuing to abuse his power AGAIN?
Or have you just not thought about that? Are you not concerned about the fact you have no ability whatsoever to hold your own canidate accountable?
Do you just not think about that because it makes you feel powerless and uncomfortable?
Biden has proven he too doesn't listen to the people.
And he in fact, DOES dehumanize the oppressed and does indeed want them dead. Just because those people aren't American doesn't mean anything.
Biden wants oppressed people dead.
So now that we know he does and wants those things - and we can't get him to stop NOW - and yet you want me to re-elect him without offering me methods in which he'll change.
Okay, buddy.
If you want to convince people to vote for Biden you're gonna have to
1) Engage with their morals and explain how they can come to peace with voting for a Genocidal Fascist and their tax dollars being directly used to aid that AND
2) How we plan to hold Biden accountable and change his behavior AFTER I've sacrificed my morals to give him more power.
If you can't do that in your post - shut the fuck up.
You're not gonna tell me to vote for a Genocidal asshole only to tell me 'ummm if you feel guilty afterwards that's not my problem just vote for him okay and also after he's elected I have no idea how to get him to do what we want cause he doesn't even listen to us right now but I promise he's better than Trump so just do it okay'
I'll see entire posts asking for people to vote for Biden - and the post will just not mention Palestine.
They'll talk about Trump, trump, trump - but literally no one with ever say 'Listen, I know Biden is the reason thousands of Palestinians are dead, but-'
Because they know that sounds fucking ridiculous and evil so they leave that part out and hope we don't notice that you've conveniently forgot to mention why we're at this crossroads in the first place.
They tell people to vote for Biden, but never mention why people don't want to vote for him.
Because Democratic voters do not support the massacre of Gaza and Biden does not care.
HOW ARE YOU GONNA MAKE HIM CARE? If you can't tell me - don't tell me what the hell to do. Cause you don't even know what you're gonna do.
If you can't acknowledge the conversation, You're ignoring the crimes of your canidate breaking international law, simply saying they didn't happen or don't matter in the general scheme of things - just like a Trump-ette.
You're literally telling me that Biden will save America and the only chance we have at keeping it... Shit we're not even saying America is 'great', like the Trump-ettes.
We know the US is shit and that Biden contributes to that. None of us actually even believe he'll make America better in the slightest.
At the very least Trump supporters stupidly believe he'll bring about positive chance.
Biden supporters acknowledge he probably won't bring positive change for anyone really. And then they still go vote for him.
That's even fucking sadder. It's less evil, but just as fucking sad.
Voting for a canidate you know doesn't care about you, your education, your health, your home, your life, or really whether you're dead or not.
But you still vote for him - because he's blue.
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If you want people to vote for Biden but refuse to engage the moral argument OR Biden's silencing and ROBBING (Yes, using executive action to send billions of dollars overseas against the wills of most Americans is fucking robbery) of the American people -
Please just shut the fuck up. You really can't expect me to listen to that.
'Vote for Biden... just cause!! Don't think about it! Don't think about what happens after! Just do it :) Why? Democrats are inherently better, that's why'
You've got to be joking
Tumblr media Tumblr media
So yes, make the argument you want. But if you can't back it up, don't blame others cause they didn't vote.
Blame yourself for not thinking through your point for more than twenty seconds. Blame yourself for expecting people to conform blindly.
If you want me to vote for that man but can't tell me how we're gonna free Palestine from that same man's genocidal glee then I'm begging you to shut the hell up.
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voluptatiscausa · 3 months
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Hi, and happy Yuletide, holidays and/or the end of the year! I'm once again wandering from askbox to askbox, asking questions from my fellow Good Omens fanfic writers.
How was your writing year? What's the favourite story you wrote? Yes, YOUR favourite of YOUR work! Feel free to gush about your creations, I'm looking forward to hearing all about it!
I wish you all the comments and kudos, and an exceptional new year! 🧡 Mirjam
oooo hi hello I love this!
My favorite story!! *sweats*
Weirdly the ones that I am fondest of are the ones that get the least engagement! (which has actually helped me as a writer to like my stuff without numbers? that's a whole thing)
SO I will take this opportunity to shout out
Love Was A Country We Couldn't Defend This is part three of a series, and I don't know if people lose steam after reading the first two or what but these 5+1 journal entries I wrote for Az in my Oh, Maker universe have a special place in my heart. They're not as obviously pine-y as Crowley's letters in part 2. They're more subtle, but the emotional intensity is there in the way Az censors himself. It was selfish of me.  Bad enough that I accepted his kiss in 1862, but this?  He gave his mouth freely, yes, but he never offered to
And now I have spent the past six days pacing my bookshop, guilt so present on my skin it feels as though I have been dipped in an ice bath.  Arousal so persistent in my body it feels as though I am still laid out in his bed.  How can I do this to him?  For how much longer will I take and take and take while giving nothing back?
Avalanche A two part series, post season 2 POV pieces. My tagline for these is, "are you in pain? would you like it to be worse", so I can understand why readers might avoid haha but fuck guys I put my whole pussy into these and I'm kinda proud of how they turned out.
And so what does it matter?  What’s four years of foolish hope against an eternity of threat?  What’s your hand in mine, our palms pressed together in a dance as though we could have a future together?  
A sliver of ice dropped into boiling water.
It’s nothing, Crowley.  Just a dream. (Your Pain Is No Credential Here)
I wonder, sometimes, if that morning could have been different. What would have happened if I had gotten down on my knees and sworn a vow to you that I would do anything, and I do mean anything— anything for you, sweetheart, except hold your hand and walk you backwards into a thicket of knives.
But what could I swear by? You’re the only thing I hold sacred, inconstant as you are. (The Shadow of My Wound)
Thank you for giving me this opportunity to screech! I hope you're having a beautiful yule/solstice/etc!! <3 <3 <3
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being single for almost two years (not counting the gf i had in december, ill address that later) has made me learn a lot about love.
trigger warning - mentions of sa, eating disorders, and self harm
i've learned about how i want to love. how i want to be loved. what compromise is. what communication is. i have learned from the friends that i have made into family that love is not always easy. no one is perfect and no love is perfect.
i've learned what i'm not willing to take from someone. when i asked my ex to be my girlfriend, after months of talking, i drove 45 minutes for our first in person date. she commented on my body and what i ate at dinner. she made me do things when i clearly showed and said outright i didnt want to. we cuddled in my car in the dark parking lot of her hometown shopping mall and, just a few days after i told her i wasnt ready to do more than hug and lay together and hold hands, she pressed into me and told me she had a boner. just a few days after i confided in her about my recent lapse into my old habits of body dysmorphia and hitting the gym too hard and resting too little, she squeezed the fat on my hip and stomach. i learned that i don't have to say yes. that i dont have to pressure myself in my own head to lay and wait when i want to begin the long drive home north on 76 and through the lonely streets of my city square. i learned i dont have to be quiet and wait until i am calm to share my discomfort. i learned how to stand up for myself. i learned how to see the road through the tears.
i learned what is not worth doing because of pain. i learned i dont have to hurt on the outside to validate what's on the inside, to make it real. i learned how to talk to strangers kind enough to ask, with genuine fucking care, "are you okay?" and "what's going on?" i learned that no matter how many scars i have, no matter how stupid and small i feel watching them fade, that my pain has always been real. my pain is more than "big feelings" and "crying it out." i learned that there are people who care about that pain enough to let me sit in it, still and unharmed, for as long as i need, no matter how much they wish they could just make it go away. i learned that high beams dont work in the rain.
i learned that there are good people. not people that are inherently good or above me - people that want to be good. want to do good things for people who ask or need or neither. i learned that sometimes, people just care. there's no transaction in that. no expectation, no "owing you one," no long road of penance for being treated as both fragile and strong, both big and small. i learned the joy in letting someone pass me on the four lane busy streets and seeing the good old midwest wave through the back windshield.
i learned how to give. i learned that everyone else is in pain too. i learned that it is vulnerable in the most exalting of ways to offer up your soul for the family you choose. i learnes how to comfort my friends at college missing their parents two states over or halfway across the country, even if i dread coming home to mine each day. i learned to acknowledge how hard it must be to be someone else. i learned to opem my arms when a friend comes running. i learned how to warn my passenger before we hit a bump, brake fast, gas it hard, or turn sharp.
i learned that even on the shitty days, loving is the best thing for my soul. i learned that no matter how much ive bled or been hit or touched when i didnt ask for it or stared in the mirror for too long, that my skin is worth caressing, my body worth protecting, that i'm still a virgin if i say i am, that the reflection will always be worth smiling at. i learned of mirth. of pain. of how to feel good. that my body is still mine no matter how many people tried to take a piece of it with them and no matter how young and stupid i was when i let them. i learned that love is so much more than a peck on the cheek in the morning or water after sex. i learned when to pull over to breathe.
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lavenoor · 1 year
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i get that you would be angry about the list, but don't you think you are kink shaming the other authors at the same time in your hysteria? some (not all) of these authors who write non-con reasonably do not think the same way irl and only write it as escapism and pleasure. you're painting them as some sort of sex freaks and it's honestly upsetting to see.
oh gosh here they are… I vomited inside my mouth when I first read this message ngl
People like you love to screech “kink shaming!!! 🤬🤬🤬” to defend literally ANY kind of shit on the planet and shield themselves from all criticism. Did you actually think that was going to work with me? 🙊
Guess what? I will always call out kinks that are rooted in the abuse and violence ACTUAL women and LITTLE GIRLS largely face in real life. You know what’s upsetting to see? REALITY. Genital mutilation is a real issue in real fucking countries that occurs to young girls, and it absolutely disgusts me to see that written as a kink or fetish. Rape is a huge issue in our society as well; you’d have to be trapped in a box your entire life to think otherwise. If you think it’s ok to fetishize rape, would you say the same thing about people who fetishize pedophilia? Incest?
I could not care less if someone has a piss kink or balloon fetish. No one is getting harmed by that. But if I’m a kink-shamer for understanding the larger context of domestic and sexual violence, go ahead, call me that. Y’all rape fetishizers wanna act like you’re an oppressed group so badly, when the real victims here are people harmed by such violence. Rape fics, yandere fics, etc, should NEVER be used as a coping mechanism or wet dream fantasy — I will literally die on that hill. If that’s your coping mechanism, there are other deep-rooted issues going on and ideally you should seek therapy instead of spreading those INCREDIBLY harmful ideologies online. I don’t give two fucks that it’s fiction. FICTION AFFECTS REALITY, and that has been proven time and time again.
Once again, I am SO grateful that my primary platform is quotev. You will pretty much never catch someone trying to defend fics of RAPE and genital mutilation. Absolutely fucking insane. Like, people actually defend that shit?? Holy shit our society is moving backwards
Ofc, the fact that you said “in your hysteria” tells me everything I need to know about you. A very polite and respectful way to describe an author’s concerns about rape fics! 🥰 /s Sounds like the type of hypocrite to get mad at how I worded my rant but then call my rant “hysteria”
In the end, if you are into rape and necrophilia and genital mutilation in fiction, there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not gonna seek out rape fics and spam hate comments on them; it’s pointless and my time is worth more than that. But don’t EVER try to censor what I say about these issues on MY fucking page. The fucking audacity.
So to whoever sent me this message, just block me and move on. I dont want to interact with someone who defends people who find pleasure out of writing genital mutilation and rape. It’s almost like… I’m a normal fucking person?
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lyrslair · 6 months
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Turning over a thoguht in my head this morning about the tendency for folks from certain parts of Europe to go on about "fatmericans" and our supposed hard-on for processed foods and accompanying lack of self control.
And like… they do this without seeing the intense diet culture we have here. The grind culture at work that keeps people chained to a desk for too many hours and not able to get up and stretch your legs. The fact that the processed food is what people can afford, or have time for. How hard it is to even find fresh produce that tastes like FOOD anymore because in breeding cultivars that ship well and focusing on that as a primary factor, we now have "red delicious" apples that taste NOTHING like the ones I grew up with, cucumbers that are bitter and upset my stomach, flavorless tomatoes, and just… everything's been enshittified at a corporate level so you have to hunt to find someplace that has healthy food that also doesn't taste like garbage. Which feeds into the mindset that healthy food tastes bad and just… that isn't even going into the lack of time/energy to prep thing.
BUT people have talked about all of that a lot already.
So I don't think that's even the part of the picture they're missing.
Something common to most of these places where people like to get so fucking judgey (aside from having better medical care) is that in a lot of parts of the US, especially those places where the so-called "obesity epidemic" is most noticeable, we don't just have places to walk anymore. Even just over the past decade here, but especially over the last 20 years, I've seen the death of spaces where you can just exist without spending money. The major section of town with ample parking that's easy to get to doesn't have connecting sidewalks. Metro parks exist but are either meager with terrible parking or, again, aren't connected to walking paths for folks to get to them easily. And they're not on the bus route. Hell, even living rural I can't just take walks down my own road anymore because over the last decade the farmers have been spraying more and more chemicals on the fields so taking a nice walk down a country road is… quite literally poisoned when I can't breathe without it starting to burn after a short stretch. I used to just walk down the road to my parents' place and back and I haven't been able to do that for years.
And on top of that you have the fucking stress, which for a lot of folks is in fact a much bigger predictor of weight gain than diet and exercise (your body holds onto all that to try and save you - we evolved with our primary prolonged stressor being things like famine and disease for which you want to have energy reserves). I barely eat most days anymore and my life is caught up doing the physical chores around the house. Still fat. But there's also still a goddamn pandemic going on which our government and a fair chunk of the population are trying to pretend is over all the while people I know are still getting sick and at least a few in my circles have died.
And I am eating FAR more healthy food (and much less of it) than what I was in college when I weighed 90lbs.
I don't even known what spawned this today. I just started making breakfast and the word "fatmerican" (which I've seen in comments on multiple things in the past) dropped into my brain unbidden again and I got angry.
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