#don't watch fnaf videos before going to bed

[vampiresbloodx]

Needed me.

Vanessa (fnaf movie) x Reader

Word count: 1,246

Trigger warnings(18+ ONLY): vaginal fingering, nudes, dirty talk, sort of rough sex, masturbation, top!Vanessa, bottom!reader.

Your girlfriend, Vanessa, hasn’t returned your calls and if you weren’t panicking before you are now. 

She said that she was going on patrol the last time she left the apartment, you didn’t think anything of it since that was a part of her job, making sure everything is okay and no one is breaking into anything at this hour. 

But god do you miss her. 

You hate that part of her job that she has to work all hours of the day including nights. You’d much prefer it if she was in bed with you right now giving you cuddles or on the couch watching TV, but she has work to do. 

You’ve already expressed how much you hated the fact that she was an officer, of all the jobs to pick, she chose that one. You still like to nag her about changing her career, hell, she could be a writer, she’s good with words. 

You figured once she gets back home she gives you what you want, it’s only fair. It’s not nice leaving your girlfriend hanging like this for hours upon hours with no response. 

Grabbing your phone again that was on charge, the time read 1:23AM, you were in yours and your girlfriend’s shared bedroom as you got undressed, only wearing your underwear that had a wet patch on it from how much you missed your girlfriend and how wet you are just thinking about her touching you, kissing you, fucking you. 

You placed on her favourite yellow sweater, knowing it would drive her insane. You turned on the camera, taking a few teasing photos, of your ass, tits and your hands slightly above your throbbing pussy. 

Then you hit record. 

Your forehead sweating as you pumped your fingers in and out of you, moaning and whining, her name falling of your lips, “if only you were here to fuck me, make me come, I need you, I miss you, baby, please come back home.” 

And then you ended the recording. 

Smirking while you watched it, still feeling all hot as you didn’t let yourself finish, not when she’s not here, you want her to do that herself. 

And you hit send. 

–

Vanessa was walking through mike, the new security guard, through everything he needed to know on looking after this place. It wasn’t an easy job, but Vanessa could see that he had potential. 

Her mind keeps on drifting to you, she couldn’t stop thinking about you. 

Your smile, your laugh, god she wanted to marry you already. 

But she had a plan for that. 

She was so in love with you, anyone who knew that saw it in the way she talked about you. 

Vanessa was ready to spend the rest of her life with you. 

Because she knew you’d make her happy. 

“Hey Mike-” 

She was cut off by her phone going off, she knew it was you, she felt bad she wasn’t answering your calls she just couldn't right now, not when she was making sure this place was okay at least. 

“You wanna take that?” he asks, “sounds important.” 

Vanessa sighed. 

“Just my girlfriend” she chuckled, a smile playing on her lips. Mike nodded in understanding. She was glad he wasn’t throwing her any distaste about her relationship with you. “You okay if I call back? If I don't they will come here and have my head.” 

Mike laughed. 

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ve got it.” 

Vanessa nodded, turning around as she walked out of the security room, where she was now alone. 

There was 5 missed calls and 30 missed texts from you, fuck, she was in trouble. 

She did say she wasn’t going to be any later than 1AM. 

She was about to call you when she saw the photos you sent her, her cheeks immediately heating up as she saw what they were and her heartbeat picked up. She looked behind her to make sure Mike wasn’t there, and hit play on the video you sent her.

It was of you, wearing nothing but her favourite sweater as your hands were inbetween your legs, she tried not to turn up the sound or have it any louder as she could very clearly hear your whimpers of her name, fuck, she was already soaking wet. 

She needed to get home now. 

“Hey mike!” she shouted, catching his attention as he popped his head out of the security office. 

“Yeah?.” 

“I’m sorry but I have to head off, I think I’m in trouble.” 

“That’s fine, see you another time. And good luck.” 

She waved him goodbye, the only thing on her mind was you, as she hopped in her car and drove off. 

–

When she got home, she took off her jacket and she was expecting to see you already waiting for her in the living room, but you weren’t there. 

“Honey?” she called out, “I’m home.”

“In here!” you replied. 

She followed the sound of your voice, leading her to the bedroom, where she walked in and still hadn’t seen you yet, weird, were you playing with her?. 

She felt something cover her eyes, and smiled, knowing who exactly it was. 

“Hi” you said all sweetly, kissing the back of her neck, making her shiver. 

“I’m sorry” Vanessa mumbled, turning around to wrap her arms around you. “I am sorry to keep you up like this, can I make it up to you?” she asked. 

You bit down on your bottom lip, nodding. 

“I’m sure you saw what I sent you,” you said in a whisper. 

She grins, “of course, you’re such a tease.” 

The blonde pressed her lips to yours, the kiss turning heated quickly as your hands roamed her body, she pressed you against the wall, her tongue dancing with yours in your mouth as you moaned. 

“Fuck” you whimpered, “just fuck me.” 

“Yeah?” she teased, her hand rubbing slowly on your throbbing clit, god she could feel how wet you are for her, “want me to fuck this pretty pussy of yours?.” 

“Yes, please” you begged. 

Vanessa grinned, kissing you again as she placed her hand inside your panties, sliding a digit into your cunt as you bucked your hips against her hand, wanting more.

“Please” you cried, “I need more.” 

“Is that so” she whispered, watching you collapse under her touch and she’s only just begun. “How badly do you want me?.” 

“Vanessa, you kept me waiting for hours, so you show me how much you’ve missed me, I just want you inside me, now” you groaned, feeling her add in another finger, stretching you out perfectly as she placed in another, pumping them in and out, her breathing ragged as you gripped onto her, rocking your hips into her. 

“I’m close” you whimpered. 

“Then come for me, please” Vanessa pleaded, and that broke you. 

You came with a cry of her name, it was better her hearing it in person than on some video, and fuck, was it so much better her fucking you than watching you fuck yourself. 

Vanessa took her fingers out when you’ve had enough, but she knew you’d want something else more after this. She brought them to her mouth, keeping her gaze on you as she sucked on her fingers, tasting you on them. 

“You taste so fucking good” she whispered into your ear, biting down onto your neck, causing you to moan. 

“It’s your turn.” 

You muttered, before pushing her onto the bed.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for talking about fnaf to my little cousin?

so fnaf is one of my (im 21) special interests for a while. my little cousin (age 7) has been mentioning it lately, because he heard about it from kids at school. Because of this i've ended up telling him about a lot of the lore and stuff, and trying to explain things to him. Additionally, he asks me questions about fnaf, and I do my best to explain it to him. I also sometimes watch fnaf videos with him.

My mom says i shouldn't do this because he gets scared easily by stuff, and his mom doesn't really like him to see scary stuff. My mom says I shouldnt tell him about fnaf or show him stuff from fnaf.

Both my mom and his mom will go out of their way to hide scary things from him like halloween monster pictures. Part of this is because he got kind of scared of opening doors due to the Doors game on roblox. He is too scared to sleep in his room alone and always sleeps in his mom's bed because he is scared of the dark and has nightmares sometimes. And he wasn't allowed to watch any youtube on halloween because of possibly seeing scary stuff. They think that the scary stuff is what made him scared of the dark and have nightmares, and not be able to sleep in his room alone.

In my opinion, I don't *think* im doing anything wrong, because when I was a kid, fnaf came out, and plenty of kids were into it, and have been ever since. And ever since fnaf, theres been many things inspired by it that kids like. Like poppy playtime and Rainbow Friends and all that. I also loved horror and creepy stuff as a kid. I liked creepypasta, but I can relate to being scared by some of that stuff. As a kid I was really really terrified by the rake creepypasta.

Also in my opinion I think he knows and understands his own limits, because one time we were watching a fnaf video, and he seemed to think the video was too scary and wanted to stop watching it. So we stopped watching it and did something else. And he seemed fine after we stopped didnt seem scared or upset after that. I also feel like in my opinion, explaining the lore to him makes it *less* scary, because he's understanding the "how and why". however because the fnaf lore does involve child death i see how it could be bad for him to learn about it.

He seems to enjoy it though, I'm not forcing it on him and he loves to ask me questions about it, and is excited whenever he comes over to talk about it. Also we've played things together before that are "scary" like baldis basics, and then also a minecraft backrooms game which actually ended up scaring me more than him!

Basically though Am i the asshole for basically going against what my mom and his mom think he should be doing? I can see how his mom especially might think i could be crossing a line because of what she wants for her child. Obviously his mom might know him better because he is her child after all. And because of my autism I don't really understand childcare and childraising. And it is hard for me to understand their perspective. I am still very childlike and dependent on my parents so I don't have a fully formed adult perspective yet I dont think.

But at the same time I almost feel that she is being sheltering, because I've noticed its common for kids to like this sort of thing, and its not always necessarily a bad thing. Because also theres scary movies like coraline but are geared for kids. (My little cousin didnt like coraline, thought it was scary, but thats just an example.)

I feel like also they should trust him more. He seems to know what is too much. Because he is vocal to say what is too scary for him. He seems to be able to set boundaries about it, because he will say that he doesnt want to play a minecraft game that is too scary, or watch a video that is too scary. I'm also rarely the one to pick the games or videos we play, it's his own interest.

Fnaf has been something we both really enjoy, and to me that is special when we get to enjoy something together. I of course still often play with him when its something only he is interested in, but not always. The times I don't play with him are when I'm doing something relating to one of my other special interests and I can't handle being interrupted. Which makes him sad that I can't play but he does understand that because of my autism that it would be difficult on me to stop my activity. I really like that he is into fnaf now because that means its something that I can enjoy for special interest reasons and he gets to hang out and play with me.

But AITA because this is against his mom's wishes?

What are these acronyms?

[puhpandas]

3 star ending, Gregory, Vanessa, and Freddy decorating Vanessa's apartment with glow in the dark stars for a ficlet idea :D

Night Lights

(2422 words)

Freddy jumps out at the screen letting out an inhuman screech. The guy on screen yelps, and covers his face with his hands.

"I still cannot believe they made video games about me." Freddy comments from Gregory's pillow.

Gregory shrugs, propped up on one elbow and staring at the laptop screen. "They're not really about you. They're about an old version of you."

"Yes," Freddy says when Freddy is looking at the camera menacingly from the game over screen. "but I would never dream of hurting one of our night guards, nevertheless hunting them down!"

"That's because this Freddy is possessed by a ghost." Gregory points out, then laughs. "Man, the guy who made these games made them so farfetched!"

The crickets are chirping outside of Gregory's window, and hes stuffing his face with potato chips and watching some guy play FNAF on YouTube.

All in all, its a peaceful night, if you'd call watching a guy scream at an evil older version of Gregorys Freddy peaceful, but its pleasant.

It's nice and quiet for a while, and Gregory actually thinks the guy is going to make it, and then Mangle gets him.

Gregory barks out a laugh, pointing at the screen when the screaming ceases and all that's left is silence and static. "Ha! Did you see the look on his face--"

A scream suddenly pierces the air like a sword, shrill and terrified, muffled behind the wall.

Gregory freezes, listening to the awful sound, and makes eye contact with Freddy.

The scream was Vanessa's, and it came from her room.

"Vanessa." They both say urgently, and Gregory's head whips to his door, hair bouncing.

Neither of them say anything else. They dont have to. Gregory is up and off of his bed at the speed of light, almost tripping over himself to get to the door of his room. He only lingers long enough to scoop up Freddy and he's already in the hallway.

He books it to her room, fearing the worst. Vanessa has had nightmares before. Shes gotten lost in the memories and needed Gregory to pull her out before. But Gregory has never heard her scream like this before.

The wind whips through his hair and pajamas at the sheer speed hes running, and he skids to a stop in front of Vanessa's door, socks sliding on the laminate wood flooring.

He bursts through the door, stepping into the dark room. "Vanessa?! Are you okay?!"

Its pitch black; it's already late at night, and the little moonlight that would be streaming through the blinds are covered by blackout curtains.

Gregory searches the dark fervently, trying to find Vanessa, but he only spots her when he steps further into the room and Freddys LED eyes cast a much needed glow.

Gregory finds her curled up on the floor next to her bed. Shes in her pajamas, so she was probably getting ready for bed. Shes breathing erratically, knees drawn up to her chest, and backed up in the corner like she was trying to scramble away from something.

Gregory's brows crease in worry, and he frowns, stepping towards Vanessa slowly. "Ness? Hey, are you okay?"

Vanessa's eyes dart to him, and she has a hand over her heart, trying to take deep breaths.

"Gregory." She says, like she just now noticed he was here. She sighs a bit, trying to get her breathing back under control. "Gregory. Um. I-Im fine. It's okay. I'm fine."

Gregory and Freddy share a quick look. She sounds like shes trying to convince herself.

Gregory just clicks on the small table lamp next to her bed, and crouches down. "What happened?"

Vanessa's locked up posture loosens a bit once the lights on. She huffs out a small breath. "W-What do you mean?"

Gregory gives her a deadpan look. "We heard you scream."

"Oh." Vanessa says, and she sighs, eyes downcast. "It was... it was nothing. Don't worry about it."

Gregory frowns, brows furrowed as he sits criss cross on the carpet to get comfortable.

"Come on, Ness." He says, setting a hand on her knee. "I know it wasnt nothing. Just tell us."

"We will not judge you, Vanessa." Freddy rumbles from Gregory's lap. "I promise. We will understand. Whatever it may be."

Vanessa's eyes trail over them a few times, and she relents, sighing heavily and shifting.

"I just--" She starts. "I thought I... I thought I saw him."

Gregory raises a brow. "Saw who?"

"That-- That mimic thing." She says. She frowns, rubbing at her eyes with the balls of her hands. "He would use a... A Springbonnie avatar of some sort. A-And he would appear to me sometimes."

Gregory watches as she sits up, dropping her hands almost defeatedly

"I just..." She trails off. "I thought I saw him. In my room."

"Oh." Gregory says. Vanessa nods.

Gregory gets it now. Vanessa thought she saw the thing that ruined her life appear in her room, late at night, catching her off guard.

Gregory understands why she reacted that way, now. Its not as bad as some of the other things hes been through, but if he thought he saw Roxys ears or hair in the shadows of his room, or Montys tail lashing in the corner of his eye, he would freak out too.

He frowns, and doesn't say anything else, just leans forward and wraps his arms around her in a big hug, Freddy squished between them.

"Wh--" Vanessa starts to say, then, he feels a short breathy sort of chuckle rattle her chest when she wraps her own arms around his back. "What's this about?"

"What do you mean, 'what's this about'? Gregory says incredulously. "I'm comforting you, you big jerk. I'm trying to help you."

Vanessa chuckles for real this time, and she just squeezes him tighter.

Freddy rumbles between them, his head almost like a personal heater between them. "We will always he here for you, Vanessa." He says. "We want to help you, and that means knowing that is wrong, so we know how to aid you best."

Gregory nods against her chest, eyes closed. "Mhm. We won't judge you for nuthin. Not even if you think you see monsters in your closet."

When Vanessa starts to shake, Gregory doesn't comment, just smiles against her, and squeezes a bit tighter.

Vanessa squeezes back, too.

"That thing cant hurt you anymore." Gregory says. "I promise. And if it tries, me and Freddy will let 'im have it."

Vanessa laughs, and from where Gregory's sitting, unable to see her face, he thinks it sounds a little teary. "I'm sure he'll think twice about messing with me if I have you two as my bodyguards."

Gregory nods. "I have a Fazerblaster and I'm not afraid to use it, dont forget that."

Vanessa laughs again, and Gregory joins in when Freddy starts to go on about Fazerblaster safety.

🐻

It's supposed to be a suprise.

Gregory and Freddy had wandered off at some point during a grocery trip, and somehow ended up in an isle with curtains and pillowcases and that sort of stuff.

They'd just been walking idly, but then, a package with flashes of pale green over a dark background caught his eye when the store is all white and the rest of the items are all boring black and white.

It was a package of glow in the dark stars. The image was beautiful, and reminded him of the starry night skies decorating the ceilings of the Pizzaplex, or the Daycares star-shaped neon lights all over the walls. You'd stick them on the ceiling, and when night fell or it got dark, they'd light up the room.

Immediately, Gregory and Freddy had known what to do. With Vanessa's panic the other night, Gregory had been keeping an eye and an ear out for any more signs of Vanessa being distressed.

Although there were none, Gregory was particularly upset to see that Vanessa has been sleeping with her lamp on.

Gregory had frowned, and thought that their oughta be a buffer between bright lights and total darkness, and Freddy had thrown out the idea of a night light.

So, great! That was a perfect solution. But Gregory hadn't been able to find a straight-up night light at any of the stores they'd went to, and he didn't tell Vanessa about his quest, either. Wanting to surprise her.

Gregory clutches the pack of glow-stars in his arm, walking back to the food section of the store.

His quest is complete.

Gregory has plenty of experience smuggling items places, and hiding them so nobody can find them.

Gregory smiles. Vanessa wont even know she bought them.

🐻

"Alright, squirt." Vanessa had said one day during the week, tired from her lack of good sleep because of her lights and uniformed up. "I'm off to work. At least try to eat something actually healthy instead of junk food, okay?"

Gregory had just given her a salute and a promise, and Vanessa had been off to her new job she had gotten after Fazbear fired her as some kind of office worker.

Then came the perfect hours-wide window of putting up the stars in Vanessa's room while shes at work.

"Please be careful, Gregory." Freddy says worriedly from his station on the bed. "I do not wish for you to fall and hurt yourself."

Gregory sticks out his tongue, attempting to balance his body on his tip toes all while trying not to flip the stool over. "I'll be fine, Freddy. You've said that like a million times already!"

Freddy hums behind him, but Gregory just stretches his arm as far as itll go, and sticks the glow in the dark star onto the empty space on the ceiling.

He untenses his body after its secure, and definitely, totally doesn't flip the step stool by doing so.

"That was the last one, anyway." He says while rubbing his aching head after Freddy frets over him. He checks his watch. "Its around 5PM! That... actually took a lot longer than I expected."

"It looks, great, though!" Freddy says with a smile. "Vanessa will love it!"

And Gregory has to agree. He takes a step back, admiring his work.

They're not lit up yet, since it's still daytime, but they're all mismatched and arranged to cover every inch of the ceiling so they'll light up the shadows. Especially the corners.

Gregory can only imagine what itll look like when it's dark, but he knows itll be great.

As if on queue, Gregory hears the front door rattle and unlock. 5PM on the dot.

"Crap!" Gregory hisses. "Its not ready yet!"

"Hurry and shut the door!" Freddy tells him.

Gregory does, and right before Vanessa swings the door open with a flourish.

"I'm home!" She calls out to the house, and Gregory scrambles to turn off the lights and close the blinds when he hears her walking around. "Gregory? Freddy?"

"In here!" Gregory calls out, and when he sees the glowing array of stars above him, shares a grin with Freddy.

He hears footsteps come up to the door, and click it open.

"Gregory? What are you doing in here? What have I told you about snooping around in my room--"

She trails off when the door opens fully, and Gregory watches as she stares wide eyed at the glowing array of stars, jaw slack.

"You're gonna catch flies." He says with a giggle when she doesnt move again. The stars reflect in her eyes, and they dart to look at him.

"You--" She stutters, and all she can do is point a finger up at the ceiling. "Did you...?"

He nods, hair bouncing. "Yup. But it was Freddys idea, though."

Freddy nods as much as he can as just a head with no neck. "Yes! Night lights are wonderful additions to a bedroom if you have trouble with the dark!"

Vanessa keeps staring at them, and Gregory is pretty sure that her eyes are a bit more shiny than they were before.

He just smiles. "They glow in the dark. So you dont have to use the lamp anymore."

Vanessa glances over to the lamp in question, and then finally steps inside of the room, admiring every nook and cranny.

Gregory laughs a bit when it looks like shes in some movie, spinning around the room like its magic or something.

"No monsters are gonna sneak up on you, now." He says. "The light'll keep them away."

Every corner and crevice is lit up. The closet is closed so theres no more shadows left. Gregory left no stone unturned.

She just looks at him like he hung the stars. Which, he did. Literally.

She wipes at her dry eyes and sniffles a little. "You put these all up by yourself?"

Gregory nods, and subconsciously edges in front of the knocked over stool. "Yep. Took a while, too."

"I supervised." Freddy let's her know. Vanessa laughs at that.

"Good to know." She smiles. "Gregory I-- This is amazing. I dont--"

"Dont know what to say?" Gregory smiles, crossing his arms. "Then dont say anything. I already know I'm great."

Vanessa just smiles and shakes her head.

"Just promise me one thing." Gregory says.

Vanessa pauses, raising a brow. "Yeah?"

"Promise that you'll get me some stars too at some point." He asks, completely seriously.

Vanessa barks out a laugh, and takes her hat off of her head. "Here I thought you were going to be sappy, sap."

Gregory shakes his head. "Nope. I only help you if you're freaking out or give me food. No in between. No food, no service."

Vanessa doesnt laugh at that, though, but she does still have a smile. "Speaking of food, did you by any chance take a break to eat in the middle of putting these all up?"

Gregory pauses, looking at the ground. "Um... Well... You see--"

"Ugh." Vanessa facepalms." "I said not to eat only junk food, Gregory. Not to not eat at all."

Gregory just shrugs. Not his fault hes not completely used to having a completely stocked kitchen at his disposal all the time. "Whoops."

Vanessa just shakes her head, and eyes the TV and the glow stars.

She sighs a deep, fond sigh. "How about I go make up some popcorn and we watch a movie?"

Gregory grins, and hops on the bed next to Freddy. "Can I pick?"

"Sure, brat." She calls him, but shes smiling all the same.

ao3 link

[fnaficsfordays]

hello, since this isnt fnaf related u don't have to post this publicly to ur blog but as you may have seen already i just binged ur fic when the fires burn and i am SCREAMING/pos dude u write SO WELL its insane i love it sm and oh my goodness its gonna live rent free in my brain forever and I'm probably gonna make art for it at some point bc my gosh that last chapter... the fact that i had watched this video right before too omg- with Alaska fresh in my mind it was the perfect setup and i could picture the whole scene perfectly in my brain- im gonna stop talking because i could LITERALLY go on forever but yeah <333 anyways its 1:30 am again bc of daylight savings and so ill take this second chance to actually go to bed before its detrimental to how i feel when i wake up lol

...Oh my gods.

Afdabhfjdsf I'm delighted that you love my work so much. Thank you for alerting me to your ask. I've loved CaliAustin ever since I discovered WttT and so it's just amazing that you binge read my fic. Every clip of 'em I cherish so very much. And I still look very much forward to that art, if you choose to make it :)

Don't worry about this being on my FNaF blog- it's been inactive for quite some time now, as has all of my tumblr in general. If you want to tag me or send anything to my main blog (@t-wolfxd) then feel free instead- or just continue commenting these types of things in Ao3! I'm more likely to be notified to comments on the fic itself, and respond immediately there. But regardless, these comments mean the world to me. Thank you so much.

[the-narwhals-awaken]

In response to chdarling's writer's ask game: all forty because i did a stupid.

I use different fonts for different projects. I never use Arial or Times New Roman, those are strictly for school work, but I prefer monospace fonts or others that are pretty clear and easy to read. Script fonts are OK for personal rambles and such, but I actually reread what I write a lot and I don't want to ruin my eyes any more.

I don't think so. I can type fairly fast, and my biggest issue with handwriting is it goes so much slower than my brain. I mean, typing does so as well, but it feels like less strain and I can get more done in a set amount of time.

So this isn't as much, but I used to have this shawl that I would put on and tie the ends behind my back. It would force me into good posture because that was the only way I could reach the keyboard from where it was set on my desk. Significantly less back pain. Now, when I'm approaching the end of my writing goal for the day, I often tuck one leg up on my yoga ball. Or try for both.

I like words that have length to them. For a while it was 'rutabega'. Still is, sometimes. But words themselves hit less hard than they've used to.

I never leave at the end of a scene. There's always something for the next scene, because if I leave it at a stopping point then it might just stop there. It has, on a couple occasions.

That I'll never be able to finish anything big. I have the wreckages of unfinished ideas that I never managed to get done enough to post littering my drive and while I want to do a cleanup before college it's one of many tasks.

Being able to construct magnificent worlds out of nothing but stardust and ashes. I love seeing what I've done and looking at the quantity or a cool scene.

Probably action. I can be talky, but I've done therapy stories before and a dialogue-only one-shot, so it's easier to talk around the action than leave out the communication.

Not really? It's a fun concept but I have different beliefs about the afterlife. There's definitely an afterlife ish, but not ghosts.

Things haunt me before I write them out enough to sate them. For me, that means the characters and ideas spin in my brain, and while a haunting can be triggered by something somebody else wrote, it's usually just my stories in a new framework. After I write them out, they usually leave me alone.

I don't kill my darlings. My favorite characters will survive everything I throw at them and have a happy ending because that's the story I need. I will cut out swathes of what I wrote or leave behind what's not good anymore, but the characters will survive.

A better organizational strategy for my worldbuilding that I don't have to organize myself, a way to trigger inspiration for a specific project at will, and the ability to recover any document.

I like writing fantasy and a world at peace. I'm really bad at writing action. Peace is just easier to dream about for me, and I don't always know how to tell a tale of physical struggle without making it unrealistic.

I don't really lend books. I return them well, though I might need prompting, but I would rather encourage library lending and patronage since that's where I get most of mine. If I don't have it back now, it's not coming back, but I do remember where they went.

No, because most are library and my handwriting's a mess. I dogear only when I don't have bookmarks, so I try to carry some around- it's a pain when I run into something that somebody else dogeared and I can't find my spot, so bookmarks are usually easier.

The weirdest thing I've ever used as a bookmark was probably a hot pack. It wasn't hot at the time.

I have so much information about how the yokai bloodlines got started, you wouldn't believe it, and almost none of it gets told because a) the POV characters don't know and b) the POV characters don't like talking about their ancestor's sex lives.

n/a not at this late at night sorry y'all's.

19. I started telling stories in my head while I was young. I wrote them down occasionally, then lost them. I started reading on Ao3 in 2019, and soon after started writing. I posted a few things and ended up joining a community that aided my writing. Haven't written much recently because of a musical I was in and finals and graduation, but hopefully that's changing soon!

20. The latter. I don't trust witches' ideas of love and also I'm still figuring out if I'm aro or not. The latter is much easier to verify and has less possibilty to horribly traumatize me if it goes wrong.

21. No. I could quit posting, but at this point it's the easiest way to clear up my head and I enjoy doing it.

22. I use various google docs with mostly informative labels and groups to keep projects separate. Little's on paper, unfortunately.

23. My desk is an old card table, skinny and long, folding legs and dark blue material, sagging in the middle. I sit on a bright blue yoga ball. I have a silver desk lamp that bends in the middle and whose cord plugs in almost directly behind the yoga ball.

24. Usually a month or so of prep, worldbuilding and timeline organizing and figuring out what the beats are that I want to hit. Writing is easier if I have already answered a bunch of my own questions.

25. The first seal they placed on themselves was actually one to shift their hair color completely independent of their own natural abilities, it ended up throwing off suspicion of said abilities but was mostly to look cool during a test.

26. I start asking questions of what they'd be doing and stating things I know- sound sensitivity paired with exceptional hearing, kind hearted but also a little shit and distrusted by most around them, quiet and kind and absolutely ruthless in the way only a gardener can be, etc. I don't regret going there unless it gets really sad or dark.

27. Roy Mustang. He's the kind of guy that's planning for literally everything but playing it off as being an idiot and it's hard to write either of those, let alone from the inside and adding in new things.

28. Naruto, age six. He's still pretty sweet, and he hasn't lost all faith in kindness. Also, he's really blunt in that little kid way and has barely any fear. Makes me laugh when I need it.

29. I draw inspiration from stories and analysis I read. If it runs out either I beat it out if I have a time limit or I leave and go do something else. I've written 200,000 words in daily chunks while doing nonograms on my phone.

30. I don't remember my dreams.

31. Y'all's are the sweetest people I know and you make my day better every time I remember you're there. My life would be worse without you and I'm so thankful that you exist.

32. I'm not sure it's a line, it's the concept that nobody is ever too broken to find a family and do better in life if truly they want to.

33. I knit, crochet, and cross-stitch. It stays mostly separate from writing except when I make fandom items.

34. Necessary but shouldn't have such a fuss made about it. It feels right and that's 80% of my grammar checking.

35. To shorten sentences. I write long sentences- broken into pieces as they may be, they technically don't break rules- and they flow better in chunks, broken apart by such short pauses, and yet one continuous whole- though it can be said that tangents are made- that it feels wrong to break them apart.

36. I know a family that is whole but separate. I know fun and distance. I know instruments and how it feels to be superficially accepted and have the only contacts in your phone be family.

37. I was a very, very weird scatterbrained scholar.

38. I bang things out chronologically and rarely edit unless it's been at least two weeks since writing.

39. External time limits or promises. NaNoWriMo was and remains excellent motivation to at least do so much a day, and if I'm writing for another it at least sticks in my head more.

40. Though many a shifting voice I bear/My voice/Your voice/What's truly there? / Though hundreds of faces I have born/My face/Your face/I shall not be torn / For though out of the storms I have arisen/And through deepest waves I continue/And past the bright fires I run/I leap/I whirl/I live / I run through the forests alone with my kin/Abandoned by those who cannot see within/And know in my heart, hidden now by the fur/That only those that can see me/Can truly, deeply see me/That see past the me can be welcomed to home. Kitsune, by nar.

This whole shebang was because Ao3 was down and I ended up watching a FNAF video and needed some other thing in my head before I fell asleep. Enjoy!

[campyvillain]

the worlds first entirely ai generated spamton fic.

for reference i put the first sentence into a bot and let the rest fill itself out. this is what it came up with

Spamton came into the room and saw you.

He was sopping wet and looked like he had just been in a really bad thunderstorm. He also had a bloody nose and looked like he needed help. One of his shoelaces was untied and he was covered in DIRT and GRIME and STICKS. And worst of all -

SPAMTON was limping, walking on one leg rather than the other.

"Oh. Hello, Spam," you said as he walked in. You were sitting at the table with your laptop open. You were almost ignoring the fact that he had been clearly ran over by a truck, as indicated by tire marks lining his back.

"Hi, [y/n]," he mumbled and limped to your bed and sat down. He took a couple breaths before looking at your laptop, and then up at you and you could see the worry on his face, the fear and confusion that you could tell were going through him right now. He looked like his favorite song was by the beatles and he was just learning they made it. He was SO SO SAD. SOOOO SAD.

"Hey, I've been watching YouTube videos of people who can fly or ride animals for the last hour and there has always seemed to be one person that everyone is interested in, someone that has their mind fixed on them."

"What the fuck" Spamton asked you. "I am going to die, y/n."

"No, no, don't say that Spamton. You will live."

Spamton shook his head.

You sighed. "Well, it seems that some random dude from a YouTube channel has written a book." You held out a hand to show him what it was called, The Amazing Spiderman.

He ate it in one gulp.

"Wow, Spamton that's disgusting." You laughed, throwing it in the trash can across the room. It landed upside down, but still inside. "Okay. So this guy writes books about heroes and superheroes and how they are supposed to save the world and save it from itself. He calls it The Amazing Spiderman

"I don't care." Said Spamton. "YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME TO THE ER NOW"

"Why?" You asked.

He gave you an incredulous look as if saying, 'why do you think?'

"I know," you said. "I'm not taking you anywhere until you have cleaned yourself off."

Spamton nodded and stood up, wobbling slightly.

"Are you alright?" And then he fell onto the ground with a loud thud.

Your eyebrows raised.

He groaned a bit. "Fuck," he muttered. "I forgot how hard it was getting up after being run over by a truck."

He slowly got up off the ground.

"Here," you handed him a towel. "Dry yourself off." Then you threw the towel at his face and it made a big meaty noise. And he fell back down.

You chuckled lightly and picked up your laptop again and put it on the table and opened YouTube and started browsing. Spamton was still on the ground so you threw another towel on him.

Again he didn't move. You went back to scrolling and you saw a video that read:

The Amazing Spamton! A story about an old hero! A superhero in costume who has been running around with a mask on and he can't stop smiling! What is he doing? Oh! He has been hit on the floor by TWO TOWELS! But no matter! He will get back on his feet! His name is Spamton! The Amazing Spamton!

You laughed quietly.

Then you heard a crash from the bathroom. You jumped up, ran in, grabbed Spamton by his shirt and dragged him towards the shower.

He had Fnaf pizza in his mouth and it was going EVERYWHERE. There was sauce everywhere and the ends had gotten tangled around his fingers.

You threw his shirt away and turned the water on full blast. There was just SO MUCH FNAF PIZZA.

You stepped out of the bathroom and pulled Spamton behind you while he coughed loudly and spluttered as you dragged him towards your bedroom.

In your closet you pulled out your comforter and blanket and set Spamton down on top of them. He was still coughing and you picked him up and threw him onto the matress face side down. He rolled on to his back as he choked on more pizza.

When he was done he looked around as if trying to find something to wipe the mess from his hands and face and lips with. "Where is Freddy Fazbear"

he whispered. "I want Freddy Fazbear to come give me some pizza."

You smiled softly at him and patted his back.

He lay back on the bed, staring blankly into space.

After awhile he asked you what was wrong.

"Just wanted to make sure you're OK." You said.

"I AM CHOKING ON THE FUCKING FNAF PIZZA BITCH!" he yelled and you flinched.

"It doesn't taste good." You replied.

Then you went downstairs to make tea.

As you walked to the cupboard you noticed Spamton curled up underneath the covers of your bed, fast asleep.

He looked so peaceful...

You manually opened his mouth and poured tea in there. You poured all of the tea.

He woke up with a start when his mouth tasted like coffee and he began sputtering.

"What the fuck is in this tea?" he exclaimed.

You just shrugged and went back upstairs to watch the news.

"There is a new movie coming out soon." Your dad told you, "Have you watched it?"

"IT HAS BEEN 5 HOURS SINCE I WAS HIT BY A TRUCK AND YOU STILL WONT BRING ME TO A FUCKING ER"

"Hm"

"THERE IS GAS ALL OVER MY SHOES AND HANDS AND FACE I THINK SOMETHING ELSE'S BLOODED IN THERE ALSO OH MY GOD THE TEA!"

"Ok I'm sorry. I'll take you to the doctor now."

"YESSS"

You grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the house and over to a car.

You dropped him off at a medical centre, which you knew from experience was probably a bad idea and he walked in like an adult.

He looked around and then sat at a desk. You left him alone. You're not supposed to do that to your spamtons.

But you couldn't help but smile at the sight of Spamton working. He was typing on his computer and reading some sort of email and occasionally would mutter under his breath and shake his head.

He was so cute!

Then came in the EVIL DOCTOR.

"HELLO SPAMTON," said EVIL DOCTOR!

"HI EVIL DOCTOR!" said Spamton, "DO I LOOK GOOD FOR THIS NEW DRAMA?"

"Yeah you do Spamton!" said EVIL DOCTOR.

Then they talked for a bit.

Then the EVIL DOCTOR went to grab Spamton and took him to EVIL OPERATING ROOM. He readied his EVIL SUPPLIES, then left Spamton alone and then returned with the EVIL DOCTOR (who was carrying the EVIL SACK).

When Spamton came down he was completely bald except for one single hair on his head. He had been given every vaccine (even the ones that kill you) and looked like he had been hit by a car again and had 5 more wet towels slapped on his face. He had 5 new found diseases.

He looked awful.

"Look Spamton," you told him. "We don't have any more time. We are late, we are really fucking late. Let's go, please. Now."

"NO NO NO" he said.

"Yes now!"

"NO NO NO NO" he shouted. And then Spamton's last words before he exploded into a million pieces were, "PLEASE DON'T COME BACK WITH ANOTHER MAN"

you laughed as you heard your dad yell, "OH MY GOD Y/N!" and ran upstairs to see what happened. When you got there you stopped laughing.

SPAMTON WAS JUST LEFT ALONE AND YOU BLEW UP INSTEAD! KABOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! YOU ARE NOW DEAD FOREVER IN THE PIT OF HELL WHERE YOU BELONG!!

GOODBYE ALWAYS! BITCH!!!!

[midasinc]

feuilly and gavroche thoughts

i was talking about this with @a-rose-remembered and i wanted to make a post about this because omg

imma put this in a modern setting because it gives me more room to work with

-anyway, they're sort of cut from the same cloth. feuilly had parents that couldn't care for him and he got put into the foster care system. gavroche's parents don't care for him and the only reason he isn't in the foster care system is because he can evade them really well

-they're both alone, in some way, shape, or form

-anyway, my modern feuilly works construction with bahorel. one day he's working a site and taking a smoke break when this kid is just sort of walking through a very unsafe construction site with a backpack and- mind you, it's a tuesday mid-morning and this kid should absolutely be in school

-so feuilly stops him and he's like "hey aren't you supposed to be at school?" and the kid just fires back "hey i thought you were supposed to be the generation that stopped smoking"

-and he's taken SO ABACK because im sorry, what? this kid is like, eleven. jesus.

-feuilly scowls but he sort of gives him a look like "aren't you worried about your parents when the school calls?" the kid just shakes his head and says that his parents don't care about him- as long as he's out of the house he doesn't get hurt

-this stops being mildly funny to feuilly and he's sort of given flashbacks to his own childhood- not going home because he was scared of his mom and skipping school and not doing homework when he was in the foster system. this greasy little kid in the minecraft creeper hoodie reminds him of himself

-he asks if there's anyone else he can go to and the kid says that no, his sister is at work and his other sister is at school. feuilly can't exactly take off work- he needs the money- but he also can't expect some random little kid to feel safe staying at a stranger's apartment. plus... feuilly's apartment has a stained popcorn ceiling and his bed is a frameless-mattress in the corner of his room. his apartment is not a home, it's a Watering Hole.

-he tells bahorel to tell his boss that he'll be back in twenty and he walks the kid to a nearby library and buys him a pastry on the way there before telling him to take care of himself and heading back to work

-a couple weeks later, he sees the same kid. the greasy hair, the stained minecraft creeper hoodie, the backpack that seems twice as big as he is. this time, he's not working. he's in the middle of getting his usual friday night dinner, kebab and a beer from the doner shop across the street from his house

-feuilly stops and asks if he's alright and the kid kind of gives him a look before recognizing him and saying that he's waiting for his dad's friend to pick him up. feuilly asks how long he's been waiting. gavroche asks for the time, feuilly tells him it's about 8:30 at night, and gavroche shrugs and says that it's been about five hours then

-feuilly is torn. he would really just kill to get his usual takeout order and watch a documentary in his Watering Hole with his pet snake chillin on his lap but this is also a kid who needs help. this is him as a kid, who needed help and never felt like he really got any

-so he offers to get him dinner if he hasn't already eaten and sacrifices his usual comforting friday night to dine inside the shop with the kid. he learns that his name is gavroche, he has two older siblings, and he likes lizards and bugs and video games. gavroche eats his own order of fries and feuilly pushes his own side of fries towards him and feels relieved when he takes them and eats that too. gavroche is funny for a kid- he's really blunt and self aware, but he's also just a kid. he tells feuilly about minecraft stuff and fnaf stuff and fortnite stuff and feuilly is just kind of nodding along and listening until a giant guy that gavroche refers to in passing as gueulemer comes and murmurs something about gavroche's dad. gavroche hops off his seat with his huge backpack and thanks feuilly for dinner before leaving with this terrifying, huge-ass dude.

-feuilly doesn't see him for a while after that. he continues living his truth and surviving in his beloved Watering Hole and cooing to his pet snake like she's the love of his life (bc she is) and goes about the rest of his life

-it's november when he's invited to enjoras's friend's party. he doesn't really know many of enjolras's friends. he knows jp and he knows bahorel and he knows enjolras, but that's about it. he ends up mildly enjoying himself and cracking open a couple brewskis because hey! it's friday, baby!

-enjolras's friend's friend marius opens the door and there's a mildly disheveled young woman who apologizes and says that she didn't have anywhere to bring them. marius is kind of like "who's them?" but then she steps aside and there's a teenage girl and-

-gavroche points to feuilly from across the room in recognition of sorts and feuilly comes over closer to dap him up and ask him how he's been. the young woman is kind of confused but then gavroche explains that this is his friend who buys him food when they see each other and feuilly is half panicked because he doesn't want her to think he's some weird pervert but his heart is also melting bc the kid called him his friend. feuilly is thought of as a friend.

-surprisingly enough the young woman pulls feuilly into a quick hug and thanks him for being kind enough and he learns that her name is eponine and the other girl is azelma. eponine's moved out of the house and azelma stays with her but gavroche couldn't come because he can't be legally emancipated until he's 16.

-he also finds out that eponine is harbouring him over the weekend because things aren't great at his house right now and he needed somewhere safe to stay. the two talk a lot together during the party and find that they've had similar backgrounds. they both come from substance abuse households, only feuilly's parents were jailed and he got out when he was seven. eponine's been stuck in that life up to the present, unable to completely detach herself with gavroche still stuck there. she couldn't in good conscience do it.

-feuilly offers to help her out if she ever needs it. he also knows it's kind of a weird offer from someone she's only met once. and he doesn't mention the Watering Hole situation- maybe he can get a bed frame or at least a couch better than the one he has now (feuilly dragged it off the street)

-eponine accepts gratefully, though. she explains that she isn't making a ton of money at the moment (they're both college drop-outs. twinsiess again!) and can pay eventually, but feuilly just sort of waves her off and says that he doesn't need any of her money (his Watering Hole would say otherwise, but cmon guys let him be nice)

-gavroche likes hanging out with feuilly. he gets convinced to go to school because it's easier to hear it coming from someone who understands. feuilly helps him with his history and english homework, they struggle together over science, and gavroche schools feuilly when he even mentions tutoring him in math. feuilly is honestly glad- he hasn't done classroom math in years.

-they go to the park a lot. feuilly played football in school and gavroche really really wants to be a football star when he's "ancient like feuilly" (fuck this kid- feuilly's not even 28). he can't afford the gear that the school says he needs so he's never been able to play, but he says he watches football with his dad and his friends all the time bc that's when it's not scary to be around them

-feuilly teaches him how to play goalie, let's him borrow his gear (even though it's all a bit too big), and invites his own friends to come play a couple games with them. it gets a lot of gap-toothed grins from gavroche

-he also befriends eponine and helps her when help is needed. she's never fixed a leaky sink on her own, so feuilly brings his tools and teaches her and azelma and gav. feuilly cannot cook for shit- he lives off of frozen meals and takeout, so eponine teaches him basic cooking skills and talks to him about food options that are cheap. they help each other out a lot. when it comes from someone in a similar situation, it doens't feel patronizing and they appreciate that about each other

-feuilly is also really big on video games, just like gavroche, and teaches him how to play some oldies. they play zelda games together and the original super mario 64 and stuff that feuilly's been collecting from second-hand stores over the years

-he also makes sure that they three of them have enough stuff for winter. he goes to another second-hand store and helps gavroche and azelma find better puffy jackets than they already have and maybe a rubik's cube. and maybe a bop-it. and maybe a-

-eponine also comes over for a lot of wine nights. the two make soup together and split a bottle of two-euro rose and sink into feuilly's shitty couch and sigh because oh my god. right?

-gavroche is also a little pain in feuilly's ass sometimes. when feuilly smokes at home, he makes gagging and choking noises and pretends to die on the floor until feuilly puts it out. it kinda makes feuilly grind his teeth in aggravation, but he knows the kid is trying to be helpful

-when feuilly's power gets cut in the middle of winter, he gets the privilege of staying over at eponine's. gavroche is psyched bc omg sleepover! he sleeps on her pull-out couch with him, clung around him like a baby bear

-feuilly isn't sure if he feels like a big brother or a dad, but either way it makes his grinch heart feel warm

[ptsdconfessions]

Hello, I just found your account a few minutes ago and I'm currently facing some tough things in my life. I really enjoy this account's out pouring of support, so I wanted to ask something sort of controversial about PTSD. Three years ago I watched a video that described the murder of a child and the events that followed, transcript of it and all. Although I didn't actually watch or see the footage of the murder, I read and have had the transcript of the event read to me. I'm a very sensitive person, I'm an empath. I've experienced forms of verbal abuse throughout my life, and witnessed forms of physical abuse with my parents. However, before I saw this video describing the girl's death, I was invested in murder mysteries like JonBenet Ramsey and Caylee Anthony, FNaF, etc. If I got scared by an event in them, it only lasted two days at the most. But after I watched the video describing this girl's death, the fear of the event never washed away like the others. I had the worst reaction to it, in fact. It stuck on my mind all day, I did more research on it, refused to lie in bed and stayed up the whole night on a school night crying my eyes out in fear and remorse (which I've never done in response to a crime story before). Months after watching it my friend made me watch it again, and laughed when I began to get worked up and hyperventilate. Later, I began to believe that the dead girl was haunting me beyond the grave. Next, I began to believe that I was the reincarnation of her. Then I pledged that one day I would meet her mother, and still want to. These were both excuses to push away the possibility that I may have PTSD. The girl that died looked identical to me, so eventually I cut my hair and got it dyed so that I wouldn't glance in the mirror and think I saw her. Pillows, sheets, blankets, and the like terrify me and I refuse to lay on my back. Once when we were reading a poem in my school my teacher said, "rebirth" and I began to shake and cry, whereas during a school assembly another teacher said "brain dead" and I couldn't breathe. These things, along with others have been happening for over three years now, all outcomes of me seeing the video describing her death. Since then I've seen a psychologist and she screened me for PTSD once and although she said qualify for it, there was never a second screening with her and I don't know if I have it. My parents have told me that although it was a tragic event, I need to "get over it" and accept it. But I don't think this is just a spooky thing that scared me like the rest. I'm not sure what I have or if I even have anything, but I wanted to ask you if it truly is possible to gain PTSD off of something you weren't present for in the slightest, something you weren't born for? Many say you can through "exposure of the television," but nobody really qualifies it as a cause of PTSD. Because of this, I don't think I'm heard, or taken seriously. On the other side of this, I could also be being ridiculous and I don't have anything. Please help! ♥️

Hi there anon! I’m so glad that you messaged in. Opening up about these things can be really scary so you should be proud of yourself!

I definitely don’t think that you’re being ridiculous, trauma can be difficult and confusing to unpack, especially if you feel like you have to do it on your own. I’m sorry that people aren’t taking your feelings about these experiences seriously. Whether or not you have PTSD you still deserve help for whatever difficult things you’re going through. It is true that the DSM states you can’t get PTSD from things like watching movies or documentaries (and I’m definitely not knowledgeable enough to comment any further on this, on proposed changes to the DSM diagnosis, or on anything the ICD says), however that doesn’t mean that you couldn’t have developed some form of anxiety (or something else) from watching that video.

It’s also very possible that you developed PTSD from the verbal and physical abuse you have experienced/witnessed (because witnessing physical violence between parents can be scary and traumatic, even if you aren’t directly being hurt). That could also be the reason for your reaction to that video, particularly if you see a bit of yourself in the person who was murdered.

Regardless of what diagnosis you may or may not have, you deserve to be taken seriously and to have a safe place to talk about these things. Even without a diagnosis you are of course welcome to use the resources on this blog, or to look up coping techniques for any specific symptoms you’re experiencing. I can’t tell you whether or not you have PTSD. For that you’d have to see a GP or psychiatrist/psychologist/other mental health professional. If you feel comfortable going back to the psychologist you saw before then that could be a good place to start. Regardless of being diagnosed it sounds like there’s a lot of things you might want to unpack.

If you ever want to chat some more you are always welcome to send in a message!

-Winter xx