#doomed yuri fr

[spookberry]

otp

[gaoau]

just thinking...

two in fall and one in winter.

pairing — kugisaki nobara x fem!reader word count — 1.5k warnings — spoilers for chapter 124 / s2 ep8 onwards

it's ambiguous. it has been for quite some time. everyone pretends not to know anything; everyone pretends not to hear.

the sky is crystal clear as [name] stares at the vibrant cyan expanse, so high up it seems farther out of reach than it used to before. the gaps between the naked leaves sneer down at her; nothing but a jarring reminder of the emptiness left behind by the bleak winter. she fails to understand her own reasons for fearing letting go. there's nothing to let go of, though. she doesn't know what it is she should be letting go. no one has told her what to do from here on out. no one has even bothered talking to her at all.

it's so ambiguous. it's so ambiguous that it almost tears her apart inside and outside. it pulls at the seams with uncertainty because no one ever dares to even pronounce nobara's name anymore. among her trusted upperclassmen, one holds no information she can pry out of him, and the other one barely allows questioning. fushiguro refuses to be cooperative, acting as brooding and mysterious as he's always done, but what good are those traits of him now that [name] is desperate for answers? not to mention itadori—not to mention cute, bubbly, friendly, reassuring itadori. not to mention him and the fact that no one's informed him of anything either. not to mention him and the guilt in his eyes whenever he catches sight of [name]'s grief. not to mention him and [name]'s unjustified anger towards his failure to keep nobara alive during that battle in shibuya.

she's deflecting. she knows she is. she's firmly prohibiting her own face and pains from changing. she's forcing a defense mechanism onto her loss because she doesn't know what she's lost. she doesn't know if the story has come to an end and she's supposed to move on. she doesn't know how much hope she should be holding out for. she doesn't know why now that nobara's not here to chat her ear off with trivial issues, suddenly she's missing her presence.

it all comes back to haunt her in echoes of adoration. the way nobara mercilessly used her to haul all of her bags while strolling through the bustling streets of tokyo. bags upon bags hanging off her tired arms, boxes upon boxes piling up on her sore palms. nobara threatened her to never drop a single one of her precious items. [name] had heard those same words pointed towards itadori, followed by seeing the poor boy cowering in utter fear in the middle of chattering crowds. she had instantly agreed to fushiguro's offer to escape those two idiots before they got dragged into their dramatic scene.

when a bag fell once, all on their own, the two of them together by themselves. when nobara whipped around, glare burning with the passion of a billion suns. when she stomped over to [name] as she waited for the oncoming string of curses. when she growled so gently, "careful with that one, [name]! it's for you!" when she snatched it off the floor and kept it safe in her hands until they returned to the dorms.

now she's missing all that. the sheer pressuring terror of accidentally dropping one of nobara's brand new purchases, the grating sound of her voice barking at [name] to make sure she was following close behind, the excited sparkle in her glimmering brown eyes when she spotted an unvisited store. all of it, so annoying, pushing down on [name], tightening her chest and squeezing the air out of her lungs. treated like nothing more than a handy slave. treasured like a dear friend who she was willing to spend money on.

[name] fails to understand her own reasons. if it was all so annoying, if now she's free of exhausting shopping sprees, why is she crying so loudly? why won't the tears stop flowing?

she doesn't want to repeat answers she already knows. she demands those answers no one has yet given her. "show me a grave, give me her hammer, tell me she's dead. i don't care, just let me have some—" and her words fall on deaf ears as fushiguro slams another door on her face. her. her. her. it was always her and never nobara. her name hasn't been spoken since.

the uncontrollable wrath that overcame [name] when itadori showed up unscathed and asked the same questions as her. the audacity of that boy. she was on him faster than his sharp reflexes could react. she knew and she still knows how unjustified her grudge is, but what other choice does she have when her last memories of nobara are those of her mangled body lying in a grotesque puddle of her own blood? plenty of fond moments she could look back on, yet all of them are stained and dripping in the horror of that last time she ever saw her.

[name] catches the tears streaming down her cheeks with the back of her hand. one after the other, they won't stop coming no matter how many times she wipes them away. nobara would have laughed at her.

her back brushes against the fragile trunk of the apple tree she planted with her own two hands. it's growing, strong and healthy. she's proud of herself for such a deed. in the midst of the culling game, she makes sure to drop by the school every now and then to watch over it—to mourn.

it rings in her ears like another painful echo, this time louder. adoration, something stronger. a tight bond, so close, so intimate.

nobara didn't want to stick her hands into the dirt and get soil underneath her nails. [name] tugged at her wrists to force her to help out. "come on! it's not every day you get to plant a tree!" for good reason. it's not every day one gets to form such a powerful memory. how dangerous it can be when the tree shall outlive the people.

carving a whole into the ground, hauling the sapling into it, spreading the dirt as evenly as possible. [name] took care of tying it to keep it straight while nobara whined about how dry her skin felt after labor. she was sipping from a water bottle, gazing as [name] admired their tough work, when she turned towards her with a grin.

"you've planted a tree. now all you got left is writing a book and having a child."

"having a child? we already have itadori."

[name]'s chuckles were source of energy for the apple tree and nobara herself. "then what'll you write your book about?"

"about that time i planted a tree."

a tree she left behind. a tree that remains. a tree that thrives, so why doesn't her future thrive as well? where has her future gone?

growing every moment stronger, tighter, brighter. another flashback of sweet, innocent love. the color of the sky and the scent of the fall breeze. days prior to halloween, before they understood what a life surrounded by curses meant for the two of them. if she didn't know any better, [name] would agree with herself for once, comparing this bleak december sunset to an evening in october and painting them in the same feeling.

she remembers. she thinks and she remembers. she thinks too much. the growing apple tree behind her casts its frail shadow over her folded body. snapping pictures of nobara's outline against the setting sun, against the vibrant pinks blending into burning oranges. her body, her clothes, her hair, her expression all covered in the darkest shade of deepest black. the same way the night gobbles [name] up in her own memories.

one more sob rips from her throat, because she remembers. that chilly day of dried leaves crunching beneath their feet. that fleeting moment when nobara got a bit too bold. she feels her heart ache, thumping loudly in her chest, regretting not cherishing more how it had skipped. the butterflies, the giddiness, the softness, the knowledge that she touched heaven with her hands the instant nobara stole an unannounced kiss.

all those could-have-beens overflowing. it skips and it hurts and it's so numb. reality simply refuses to sink in—[name] doesn't allow it to sink in. she doesn't know what reality is anymore. if all that comes after this last round is loneliness and an empty hole, then she'd much rather let it continue like this.

the shadows hold her close as she thinks. there's nothing wrong with wanting or holding out for hope.

[name] rises from the ground, stretching sore muscles towards the night sky. she winces at the popping of her spine. a sniffle replaces the endless tears. "i wonder what we'll eat for dinner…" her eyes flicker back to the growing apple tree. there are no crunching leaves beneath her feet as she walks away.

—あごす (agosu) • 2021

[lovebotomy]

I remember reading meta on how gwen is better for arthur than merlin because she and arthur share love for camelot while merlin only cares about Arthur's wellbeing and it got me thinking about morgwen. gwen is the most selfless person in the series. she's forgiving, very rarely gets mad, she says that she wouldn't wish uther dead because what would it change and then cares about him for arthur. she cares strongly about the kingdom. thorough the series arthur merlin and morgana all have desires to leave camelot and the burdens behind. arthur wants a farm, merlin to run away with freya, morgana with druids. has gwen ever expressed that? even as queen?? it's funny that in the end she's the one sitting on the throne lol

and it's true she's better for king arthur than merlin because merlin coddles him too much, loves him too much to let arthur reach his potential. (also isn't that what morgana would want.. for a man to love her so much... lol)

and this brings me to morgwen because morgana IS 'selfish'. she wants to be angry, to punish, to have someone stand by her no matter what and share her anger and assure her she's not alone and will be safe. she will stand by those close to her no matter what but she expects the same in return and I'm not sure gwen would give it to her, because gwen is Good and morgana needs someone to stand by her even if she's the farthest thing from good. gwen loves arthur and lancelot for their nobility, loves arthur for the king he will be - brave, strong, courageous, selfless, upholder of laws, protector, carer of the people. and morgana doesn't feel like those things. she's scared, secretive, manipulative, orchestrated uthers murder in s1 already, and while kind her love for herself becomes stronger than for the people of the kingdom (understandable as she believes they would want her dead).

their relationship would be very volatile because they would disagree with each other's values and methods too much. merlin says he could never be like morgana, but they're very similar (if only merlin wasn't brainwashed by gaius and killi and decided morgana - sorcerer defender - is the pendragon worth fighting for..) . gwen is truly on the opposite side of the spectrum from them both.

morganas turn on gwen suddenly makes so much sense because the one person who's been with her through so much and who you could always count on before was destined to marry your perfect golden boy brother and with morgana not part of the vision it's not difficult to imagine they both would turn away from her now that she wasn't the perfect kind selfless king's ward but a sorceress with an agenda and desires for herself.

no point confronting them about it and risking her plan when she already knows them enough to be sure about this

[nonbinarylesbianherb]

[comet-soda-lite]

I love the Dungeon Meshi fandom because, like, most of the fanart of Laois, Chilchuck, Senshi, and Izutsumi you see is done in fun colourful anime-esque styles, more often than not in-line with the aesthetics of the show. And then you look at art of Falin, and you're faced with these intricate classical oil paintings of her being this ancient eldritch horror, sometimes posed intimately with Marcille looking conflictedly terrified or tragically doomed & despondent alongsider her. Or, alternatively, you find silly goofy art of the two of them being the absolute most gay sopping wet losers imaginable

[pencilhattopy]

LOVE BULLET

[desolate-flame]

im feeling so fucking insane about daisira and jonmartin parallels rn basira basically already lost daisy (or her version of daisy/the daisy she knew) after the unknowing while despite jon not being Himself (human (though this is another can of worms i wont open)) after the coma martin was able to get to know the actual jon for the first time during the safehouse era and beyond but regardless both basira and martin were in love with people who were already dead and withering away, who could not return to their old selves, who were destined for death . basira will forever be waiting for someone she know cannot return and martin will forever be cherishing a version of someone he knows he will lose ARGHH

[alice-yup]

doomed yuri

[cyberpunkboytoy]

"Impossible Girls" - a Reverse 1999 Ficlet

Pairing: Schneider/Vertin

Tags: Character study, implied sexual content, basically canon compliant, angst, wordcount: 1k, chapter 2 ending spoilers

Summary:

Vertin would survive. And Schneider would engrave her name into Vertin with her tongue, carve a place for herself in the Timekeeper's memory.

At some points Vertin reached out to try to touch her back, but each time Schneider pushed the woman's hands aside. Schneider was not someone Vertin could have…or at least, not someone she could keep.

6 Hours

After the battle Vertin laid on the muddy, churned up ground and talked to herself as the beginnings of the storm fell around them. An umbrella wouldn't stop the cold from soaking into her jacket and staining it dark with dirt and blood, but that didn't stop Schneider from walking over and holding one above both their heads.

"My lord, you're actually lying here defenseless…"

Giggling lightly, she knelt down in the wet grass and ignored the shiver that went through her bare knees. Vertin seemed numb to it, and somehow Schneider thought it wasn't because of the extra layers she was wearing. Instead it seemed the looming annihilation of this history was bearing down on her, as oppressive and heavy as the rain.

It wouldn't do to have their fearless leader looking so thoroughly defeated. Putting on a playful smile, Schneider looked down at Vertin and forced some levity into her voice. "I have been fighting for your cause for some time now…my lord was not planning to never repay me, right? No, surely I deserve a reward…"

She leaned down then, tilting the umbrella slightly to hide the two of them from sight, and watched as Vertin finally seemed to break from her lethargy. "Schneider?"

Smile growing minutely, Schneider continued to slowly lower her head. She moved until the heat from their lips echoed off each other, tantalizingly close to a kiss, when—

"Schneider, what are you doing? Don't suddenly get so close to her!"

She felt more than heard Vertin's sudden intake of breath, the moment shattering around them. The Timekeeper murmured Sonetto's name with both alarm and disappointment, not quite able to fix her tone in time, and as she sat up to address her second in command Schneider obediently pulled away, the air between them abruptly becoming cold with absence.

Still, as Schneider got up and turned to walk away, she carried a residual warmth inside her. When they had been suspended in that moment together, Vertin had looked…willing. Tense, but anticipating. Eager.

A plan began to form in the back of her mind, yearning and desperate.

4 Hours

"You're the last one to tell me your wish. Although you won't go…I still want to hear it."

Schneider looked past the Timekeeper for a moment, mind faraway. The beat of silence she took before replying was heavy, as if waterlogged from the coming storm. "You want to hear my wish, my lord? Then my wish is…"

She stopped mid-sentence, suddenly changing her mind. The plan from before nagged at her, more selfish and yet easier to say than the words she'd almost uttered. These, she could speak with a smile.

It didn't quite reach her eyes, but it lifted the corners of her lips all the same. "My wish…is that you would let me give you an unforgettable night."

She took that moment to come closer, the distance between them shrinking with every step, and watched Vertin's throat work around a swallow. It made Schneider's expression finally soften, her smile turning fruit-sweet.

Stopping a whisper's breath apart, she gingerly reached up to touch the top of Vertin's clothed shoulder. "Tell me…would you like to see what else my trigger finger can do?"

2 Hours

When they finally kissed it was with Schneider's hand pawing between Vertin's legs, both of them flush with excitement and heat.

Her free hand was tucked away in the long curtain of Vertin's hair, its usual side bun let down to instead flow over her shoulders. It was still the color of Schneider's favorite feather, one kept in a collection she had back home—she was suddenly reminded of an angel's wings, in that moment.

She had not believed in God in a long time, but a few hours ago she had prayed. Now she was on her knees again, and this somehow felt more sacred—Vertin more holy, loving her more virtuous than begging for life.

Schneider felt her heart beat on the wrong side of her chest. She had never been a beloved daughter of God, made with care and intention, and besides she had dirtied her hands with so much sin. She would not be forgiven. There would be no miracle to save her from the storm.

But Vertin would survive. And Schneider would engrave her name into Vertin with her tongue, carve a place for herself in the Timekeeper's memory.

So she bowed her head as though in prayer, kissed up her lord's thighs with devotion, worship. At some points Vertin reached out to try to touch her back, but each time Schneider pushed the woman's hands aside; there was no use trying to forge a mutual connection. It was too late for that.

Schneider was not someone Vertin could have…or at least, not someone she could keep. Their parting was inevitable. She would not hurt her lord more than this; she would not tease her with the promise of a girl she could not get.

5 Minutes

Before the banquet inside the suitcase, Schneider had swept her gaze over the wall of pictures Vertin had collected from forgotten eras.

There were all kinds of people there: boys and girls, young and old, and all sorts that refused to fit in any kind of binary. Artificial and organic matter, human and arcanist…Vertin told her the stories of them all as they'd waited for Sotheby to finish setting the table, and it had felt a bit like a preview of what was to come. Like Schneider was being allowed to see what Vertin might look after this was all over, when she eventually told the story of a girl in a red feather dress.

Selfishly, though, she hoped it might look different. That Schneider would not just be remembered, but stand out as a special existence in Vertin's heart.

"Hold me."

Vertin did as she asked, and Schneider gave her last confession. Gazing up into the Timekeeper's eyes, the rain of the storm outside the suitcase was replaced by the unbelieving tears forming there. They rolled down Vertin's cheeks and fell down onto Schneider's face, and—and that was baptism enough.

She was ready to die in the arms of her lord. Not lucky enough, but lucky all the same.

[phellycheesesteak]

could you maybe draw Ishqueg. pl ease im so desperate for them to be soft and happy together the doomed sailor yuri ever. godbless

Fun fact, queg is so similar to My Face and I’m already such a self shipper so I win

[kyrawaff]

So much love for Shu, but where is the love for Shennong?! Yknow, the women Shu dedicated her life to for centuries??

[bingobongodaog]

It's so funny how valve talks about chell's and glados relationship ie. Still alive is written like a break up song

But people unironically think glados and chell are related even though if you gave it like a one minute thought it just doesn't make sense at all lol

[ablizmal]

the only reason i’m a real person and not a character in death note is because if that was the case, there’d be NO death note yaoi created in the early 2000’s, and that’s a crime against humanity tbh

[newberinnings]

did you guys know that my ex partner hit me up for the first time when I made a birthday cake for Miku and we bonded over our love for her? and then a bunch of shit happened but I was temporarily blessed before I was eternally cursed and I just wanna say that Hatsune Miku orchestrated it because her birthday radiates SMTH like an oil spill in the universe but for queer people and I meant to say Hatsune Miku loves toxic doomed yaoi so much that she put it into my life. Happy Birthday to the queen.

[mareagainsttheworld]

School starts tomorrow yall !!!1!

I'm in the same class as my academic rival again Aka the girl I wish I could date but it'll never happen lol

I feel like it's gonna be a good year though, I'm ready to be a full power nerd

[wring-wraith]

for every tragic gay couple doomed by the narrative, there's a happy lesbian version of them in another universe