#dude get the audiobooks they rule omg

[beamiedraws]

sandman comic about adaptations (audiobook enjoyers if u know u know)

[becughmitchell]

tag thing

i was tagged by @johnny-and-dora (whomst i love!!!) like 14 years ago sorry this is so late omg

rules: tag 10 followers 5 followers an infinite number of followers you want to know better

name: camille!

star sign: capricorn

height: 5'2″ which is actually impressive when you consider that my mom is 4′10″

middle name: my mom’s maiden name which i’m not revealing, nice try hackers!!!!!

put your music on shuffle. what are the first 4 songs to pop up? agnes - glass animals heaven is under the sun - beta play nobody - mitski sunset lover - petit biscuit

grab the closest book to you and turn to page 23. what’s the line 17? “can’t keep on with the same stuff all the time. gets boring.” (from never let me go by kazuo ishiguro)

ever had a poem or song written about you? yeah lol a few

what was the last time you played air guitar? i’m not really an air guitar kind of person???? i play real guitar and i played that this morning???

who’s your celebrity crush? melissa fumero fr have u SEen her

what’s a sound you hate, and the one you love? i hate the sound of multiple people talking at once, and i love the sound my dog makes when he snores lol

do you believe in ghosts? not like spooky ghosts but maybe just like leftover energy or something idk!!! i gotta believe in something *jake voice* i got Stuff

how about aliens? oh absolutely it’s like impossible that there aren’t aliens in an infinite ever-expanding universe

do you drive? i do!!!!! and i drive a Lot and it makes all the memes about gays not being able to drive incredibly unrelatable

if so, have you ever crashed? nope but i did tap a car with my car once lol

what was the last book you read? i’m terrible at reading this days but i listened to the audiobook of “the copenhagen affair” by amulya alladi a couple months ago and the last physical read i read was probably oh god i don’t know, probably gone girl????? or world war z for the sixth time

do you like the smell of gasoline? yeah dude

what was the last movie you saw? i’m the Worst at watching movies, i’ve seen like one movie in a theatres this past year and i still haven’t even seen tatbilb oops. but i saw Crazy Rich Asians the other day and it made me cry so much im getting emo just thinking about it

do you have any obsessions right now? lol b99, if that wasn’t obvious

do you tend to hold grudges against people who’ve done you wrong? i’m not super great at holding grudges against people who have wronged me personally but i’m Awesome at holding grudges against people who have wronged my friends

in a relationship? nah i’ve been single for almost a year so ladiesssssss ;)))))

i lov talkin about myself so this was fun!!! ummmmmm im bad at picking people so if you’re reading this i tag you n you can tag me when you do it

[gayregis]

OK first episode reactions

OHHH that was THE KIKIMORE............... im glad we get to see the fight because i mean. i would want some money for doing that crazy shit too. also you noticed how he killed the deer because he was probably starving. 

the moment of hesitation before he enters the tavern......... OK... [jaskier or yennefer voice] dont you just wanna stroke his gross dirty white hair

wait the uhhhh... “tavern scene” occurs in the witcher right, so i dont have to be scared bc this is the lesser evil, right, right, maybe not, idk what theyre switching around

the fucking cease of noise as geralt walks in.... the MOOD

cavill is like way too fine to be playing geralt rn i mean this shot where he says point me to the aldermans house is really showing off his profile. i feel sympathetic for this pretty pretty man

oh im regretting not rereading the lesser evil right now. i cant remember WHAT the fuck happens in that story. he goes to stregobor first though right??? right? he meets with the alderman and the dude’s like nah you cant get shit for that kikimore head, but maybe this wizard will give ya smth

my lesbianisms thinking renfri is pretty VS my morality knowing what shes like VS my witcher fan knowing what the hell happens in this story.... fight

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE RENFRI SO PRETTY!!!!!!! shes SO pretty and cute..... yall are making me like her fuck you fuck you SO hard.

the voice acting is sending me kind of... this is actually a good geralt voice imo if you dont mind me saying that. i still prefer polish tw3 dub but this is actually better than fuckin delvin mallory in the audiobooks. no disrespect, peter kenny, you did dandelion and yennefer and the hansa well, but geralt..... hm....

okay jk actually i need more geralt lines in order to develop my thoughts on his voice. ill wait until edge of the world where he SHOULD be more talkative

are we really going to stregobor’s fucking tower where a naked woman illusion waits on him and he offers to give geralt a go at this basically fuck doll illusion

“where are you from, geralt?” “rivia.” SURE.... YOU LIAR...... liar .... just WAIT until baptism of fire oooohhh just you wait

also this girl marilka is so sweet, also makes me think because milva said she was called that by some. but thats why she changed her name to milva

“because girls cant be witchers right” OK you reminded me 50% of ciri but now youre literally just proto-ciri

oh.... no foolery with the magic door knocker?

YEP I WAS RIGHT WE GOT NAKED LADIES!

wow this exactly what i pictured the inside of stregobor’s tower to be like lmaooo

WHY DOESNT GERALT KNOW STREGOBOR???????

oh its so weird to see ciri like. like old at cintra you know what im saying . like im like wait wait how is she alive if geralt hasnt been there as ravix yet. not BAD just weird for me

“speak normally” this reminds me of in bounds of reason dandelions like should i give the account in verse or in prose and then he starts speaking with the most flowery prose and geralts like PROSE prose please

“if you had been alive during falkas rebellion” please dont mention falka already we’re moving too fast soon enough leo fucking bonhart will be at our heels!

“and she possesses the power to destroy us all” “i dont believe anyone has that power.” WAIT UNTIL YOU MEET YOUR DAUGHTER DUDE LOL

wow he’s really full body dressed in black leather. huh . and people say hes heterosexual fml

okay i thought them calling the girls “girl” was kinda tender in the series but now its even more tender when heard aloud.

eist is like really present here and i like him enough its just that calanthe was like way more important than him in the series though right

“it needs to rhyme” and “pretty ballads hide bastard truths” so are we really just stealing every clever word that jaskier can say before he even comes into it

LOL CIRI LESBIAN LIKE WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO GET TO ANY OF THE OTHER BOOKS..... she said BEGONE HET!

OH I LOVE HOW THEY CONTEXTUALIZE IT SO WE KNOW THIS SHIT IS TAKING PLACE IN THE PAST..... WOW GERALT IS OLD AS HELL LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO  calanthe was like 14 then right so LOLLLL GERALTS OLD AND TIRED lol

me: is a regis fan / also me: GERALT IS A SHITTY OLD BITCH LMAOO

uh oh spaghettios! its nilfgaard and one of their fun funky officers, son of ceallach! i havent seen him yet but im terrified anyways!

okay see this is how you do a  PROPER adaptation. calanthe in the books committed suicide so she wouldnt be r*ped right as she sat in a stupid castle but this calanthe is on the fucking battlefield. this is why we stan middle aged women

eist: [dies] me: AAAAAA cahir: [is there Waiting] (i think its him maybe) me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ah fuck ah fuck fuck

ciri: why [is nilfgaard attacking] ? calanthe knowing DAMN WELL stupid fucking duny is her dad: uhHHhhHhH idk lol

“you will rule this land someday” nope again! [thinks about lady of the lake] nope and nope!

ciri’s “are you dying?” to calanthe on her deathbed is the new “was he human” yennefer asking if regis (as a giant fucking bat) was human

i love how looongggg these episodes areee omgg

but also i always thought of the fall of cintra as something you know like. it happened in two shakes, cahir kinda just took ciri up by her underarms (like longcat) and left

OHHHH THEY IMPROVED THIS SCENE SO MUCH I WAS HOPING WE’D GET THIS OMG OMG BUT INSTEAD OF TELLING SOME YOUNG GIRL WHICH HAD WEIRD KINDA GROSS CHEMISTRY WITH HIM ROAVCH GETS TO HEAR IT!!! THIS IS HOW YOU DO AN ADAPTATION YAYY

renfri: who were you talking to? geralt: .. my horse.......... all of the fans: [dialing 1-800-TROUBADOUR immediately]

ugh i really thought they were gonna adapt the sex between renfri and geralt out. ugh ugh . too much heterosexuality

WHOA. HOLD THE FUCK UP. HOLD> HE FUCK UP. CALANTHE ADVISED CIRI TO TAKE MERCY. THATS LITERALLY FORESHADOWING FOR WHEN SHE CHOOSES NOT TO SLAY CAHIR AT THANEDD. WOW. WHAT THE FUCK WOW. WOW’

ciri you are gonna regret stalling so hard when mr. ceallach marches in. just saying. RUN.

CAHIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRR I ALMOST SCREAMED AND TORE MY STITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uh.... ok...................... hm not what happened in the books.... where ciri is shot off in the midst of battle and crawls up next to a dead man and acts dead ........ lol cahir is even more evil now how is this possible i didnt think he could get MORE evil

[cahir voice] he deflected the arrow with his sword! ive never seen anything like it!

also have i said already that the cinematography is amazing. like the room where calanthe was on her deathbed.... that renfri dream was pretty cool too... just a lot of things are very pleasing to the eye

due to a injury in the carotid artery blood would be gushing everywhere. also is she prophecizing ciri? stop this there are already so many women in the witcher universe that give prophecy. theres like the girl in baptism of fire, ciri, everyone in ciri’s bloodline, and now renfri?

LOOOOLLLL THE HORSE

cahir: nice, GG guys, im gonna go get that cool promotion now, this will be epic, my mom will be SO proud of me-- ciri: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA cahir: OH FUUUUCKKK

well that’s MUCH MORE of a report to file with your superior officers! “yeah so the girl fucking opened up a hole in the earth” instead of “ahh idk i fell asleep and when i woke up she wasnt there :/” .... cahir really is not getting that promotion now, huh

okay yall can say whatever you want about cavill as geralt but when he said “do not touch her” and moved his mouth like that? oh geraltisms.

this is a really nice episode i like how it just went into the action i wasnt convinced at first but ah this is quite nice. i like how it has JUST geralt and ciri in it and later yennefer will come in as her mom. renfri prophecizing was actually pretty ok, at first i thought i wouldnt like the change, but it makes it easier to digest for television. i like how they really emphasize that geralt is hated to all hell, and that ciri is powerful yet still babie. this is a good portrayal of both of them in these stages of their lives you know what im saying. also is cahir gonna chase ciri now for those Good Boy Black Rider points? bc there were shots of him in a forest. ah well whatever lets move to the next episode

[queerofcups]

i don't think i could ever be as good a writer as you but do you have any writing tips

ah ok. couple things!

1. here’s my fullest disclosure: i was in a writing program for four years and then stopped writing creatively for seven years. all that makes me is a loud asshole with a blog and a bit of a headstart on this writing thing. i’m an ok writer who can turn a phrase, but i don’t do a single thing that you can’t also learn to do. you can absolutely be as good as me, you can absolutely be better than me. i never know what to do with these kinds of compliments because thank you for reading and liking my shit but also omg you can totally surpass me with a little effort.

2. i reblogged this post earlier and i think it has a lot of valuable info. 

3. Dann Ofcups’ Guide How to Be an Okay Writer 

Comment on people’s work and *ask them stuff*. Oh my god do I wish people asked me more questions about stories and my writing process. I mean, clear it with them first or qualify that they’re not obligated to answer, because everyone’s not me. But there’s a pretty good likelihood they made the writing choice you like for a reason, and would probs be happy to share it with you (tho. To be clear. Its fanfic. the answers probably gonna be lol, cause its cool)

Get good at grammar and spelling. So you can be bad at it. - ok. Those of you who are *actually* good at grammar probably cringe at my comma usage. It’s fine. I’m working on it. *BUT* one of the number one lessons I learned from my writing profs is that you need to know the rules to break them. Know the rules of grammar, so you know how to break them well. Know the mechanics of writing, so you can break them well. Know the rules of your world, so you can break them to make a point. Etc and so on. 

Read a bunch. Obviously, read a bunch of fic. Like a bunch. Read outside of your fandom of choice! Find writers you like and then read all the fic they’ve written. Get inside of the fics, figure out what you like about them, figure out what style choices they made that you dig, what character choices. (This is also how you build knowledge bases on stuff like idk, kink negotiation! Let’s just take a collective trip to the kink negotiation tag on Ao3, yeah? Sort by kudos!)

Read poetry. I know. I know. Dann, you’re saying. This isn’t *school*, its a hobby. Totally! But you asked me for tips and my tip is to read poetry. And don’t just read like Shakespeare and Dickinson and all that stuff (I mean you can if you want, its just not my jam), read modern stuff! Read some Warsan Shire, some Ocean Vuong, listen to some spoken word (button poetry on youtube is a great resource), listen to poetry audiobooks! They’ve got those now! 

But Dann, you’re saying, I don’t *get* poetry. Totally fine! It’s ok to like a line because it just sounds good! Or because it feels good to say out loud. Or because because you find the line disturbing for some reason. Dudes, sometimes poetry is such an internal thing that you’re not even *meant* to understand it because its about that time the poets dog died and their car battery also died and they lost their favorite hairband and it just felt like the world was ending and there’s no reason for you to get all of that. But if the line in that poem moves you, then its a good line! Carry it with you. Carry the thing that that line made you feel into your work. 

(I’d also argue that listening to some pretty diverse music has done nothing but help my writing, but ymmv on that one)

Be aware of the things you need to work on as a writer. What’s up, I’m Dann and my writing gets super mechanical sometime. I’m not great at transitioning from scene to summary. I’m so bad at commas (I’m 25 and just learned what an Oxford comma is. Also I’ve never met a comma splice I didn’t love). I’m good at writing Dan because I identify a lot with him. I’m shit at writing Phil because I don’t particularly identify with him. Some of these things I’m actively working on, some of them I’m not (COMMA SPLICE 4 LYFE). But I’m *aware* of all of them. And that’s my last tip. You don’t have to change shit. I’m gonna keep subtweeting you about your under-negotiated daddykink fic, but if you already know about it and you’re at peace with it, really who the fuck am I?

[canttalktumbling]

New Post has been published on Can't Talk

New Post has been published on http://www.cant-talk.com/2017/03/crafting-system-episode-30-no-one-cares-duderyder/

The Crafting System Episode 30 - No One Cares About Dude!Ryder

No One Cares About Dude!Ryder

On this episode of The Crafting System, Ness and Eris try to reconcile their packed schedules with wanting to have fun and find something that looks a little like success! Part of making that room for fun is a more streamlined version of the podcast that clocks in at sitcom length instead of primetime drama. The newly focused hosts talk about:

Bullet journaling

Overwatch (Eris’s gleefully inept Play of the Game here)

Metamorphosis Metals

V.E. Schwab live!

OMG MASS EFFECT ANDROMEDA R U EXCITE???

Scalzi continues to be a treasure, and The Collapsing Empire is coming soon!

Guys. Audiobooks. Seriously

The Stand (for when you really want to get your money’s worth out of that Audible credit)

IT (it’s pretty fucked up, guys)

On Writing

The Elements of Style (proving that it’s possible to be completely insufferable while also being right since 1920)

Rise of the Robots: Technology and the Threat of a Jobless Future

Book Riot’s Read Harder 2017 Challenge

The Only Rule Is That It Has To Work

America’s Game: The Epic Story of How Pro Football Captured a Nation

The Lottery and Other Stories

The Book of Phoenix and Akata Witch

  Reach out to us. Email Ness at ness@cant-talk.com and Eris at eris@cant-talk.com.

Follow us on Twitter: @craftingsystem. Follow Eris at @erissaid. Follow Ness at @paperbytheton. You can also check out what we’re doing on our Instagram, @craftingsystem.

Ness an editor and contributor at Can’t Talk. Eris Esquire runs Law Levels Up.

Our avi is by Chachi Bobinks, and our theme song is “Peanut Butter Cupquakes” by Big Giant Circles.