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#dudes of hazmat
howlingday · 10 months
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Blake: How long were you in the Ever After for?
Jaune: I... I don't know. It felt like years, maybe even decades.
Weiss: Did you see anything connected to your past traumas?
Jaune: Actually, yeah. My whole childhood of neglect, my youth of wartime indoctrination, all leading me back to the source of my unfettered rage. After enough time, I was able to channel is and then replace it with something new.
Ruby: What did you replace it with? Peace? Tranquility?
Jaune: Nope! Righteous indignation! Now, let's break this fucking tree and whoever is keeping us here!
Yang: Fuck yeah! Amen to that, brother!
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construction-cat · 1 year
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Me every morning doing 80 and blasting Infected Mushroom
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ramenheim · 1 year
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This song & animation have been On My Mind basically at first watch.
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6sleft · 8 months
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cinemacrypt · 5 months
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Hey if you're bored on YouTube, check out Drue Langlois animation. It's funny, surreal, and just. The artstyle is nostalgic and charming and the characters he creates are all rly original and interesting and tbh I really wish more people on here would watch dudes of hazmat bc it's fun and fucking weird. His series "staying positive in the apocalypse" is also a gem.
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shower-phantom-ideas · 11 months
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>:3 checkmate fuckers
#liz rambles#uhhhh I kinda wanna make these tags slap but im drining tea in the shower sooo I got nothing#hmmm *sees big af bruise on leg*#what if Danny had glowing bruises#like in both forms#in human it’s like very faint#like you question if u actually see it or not kinda faint#but in phantom is like GLOWING cause his ghost form has more ectoplasm in the blood#his hazmat hides it well but imagine like ok hang on#sleepy time tea kicking in#but imagine right Phantom is chillin with the Waynes cause I always love them hanging out with him#and hes finally figured out casual clothing#so my dude has bball shorts and a t cause it’s hot outside#but then the lights go out and everyone can see his bruises from a previous fight they didn’t know he had#maybe he tries to say they r like birth marks and not at all bruises hehehe#but no one is buying that cause they all know what bruises look like#the hands on the boys neck are too shaped and too promient to be anything else#now they either think the last villain did that or it’s how he died#imagine the sorrow they feel thinking danny was beat and strangled to death#oh geeze poor baby boi#they probably know hes like hardly 16#two years dead#plus he never talks about his parents and actually the off hand comments they get#don’t paint his parents in a very good light do they#did#did his parents beat him and strangle him to death#how are they supposed to deal with this information#ok im done#I got no more noodle to me#my brain fried
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apparatusvivi · 2 years
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They are now open for questions.
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potatokthereum · 4 months
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Hazmat Dude
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icepopstar5105us · 4 months
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“Hey. Uh, Johnny?” Danny said awkwardly, “What does it mean when one of the older ghosts calls you their favored and why does it freak people out?”
Johnny 13 gave the halfa a bewildered look, “Dude. Didn’t you listen to Death? At all?”
“Death?” Danny scrunched his face, “What do you mean? I don’t…”
“Wait.” Johnny straightened, “You’ve talked with Death, right? She explained-?”
Danny shook his head, confused, “Was I supposed to?”
“When you first died, she’s supposed to appear. She gives a whole spiel and then transfers a bunch of information.” Johnny frowned, “She did it for Plasmius, so it’s not a halfa thing.”
“Oh.” Danny looked down, “What if… What if someone died and came back a few times very quickly? Would that… Would that cause any problems?”
Johnny stilled, horrified, “Ok. Look, do you want to talk about your death? Because I’m not asking if you don’t, but...”
“I guess…” Danny said, “So you know that my parents made the portal, right?”
“Yeah.” Johnny said.
“They’d been trying to do it for a long time. Plasmius actually worked with them for a while back when they were in college. It’s why all of their tech is similar in design.” Danny explained, “They built the thing, plugged it in, turned it on… and nothing.”
“But it works now.” Johnny frowned.
“Yeah. It does.” Danny nodded, “But remember my friends? Sam and Tucker?”
“The edgy emo and the computer geek?”
“As Sam’s friend, I am obligated to inform you that she is goth not emo… but yes, those two.” Danny smiled sadly, “My mom and dad were upset. They left the house and Jazz was working her shift at a library. The whole house was empty and I was… you know. A normal teenager home alone.”
Johnny snorted at that, “Ah yes. A completely normal teenager
“Yeah, yeah. The point is, the first thing I did after being left home alone was call my friends over.” Danny rolled his eyes, “Told them what happened and… It was Sam who suggested we go down there first — she’s always been into ghost and occult stuff — and look around. Tucker was down, because it was tech even if we didn’t think most of the tech would work. He wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to mess around with it. Jazz had given me some lectures on lab safety — my parents don’t usually follow it themselves — and I had a bad feeling so I put on the Hazmat suit.”
“That’s not a superhero costume you came up with?” Johnny asked, eyes widening.
“No, um. It’s a hazmat suit. The only way I changed my form was the insignia and even then that was Sam’s idea.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, but um….” Danny paused, “We wound up standing outside the portal. It wasn’t working or anything, but there was a big spooky metal hole in the wall. You know, the kind of thing you’d expect in sci-fi movies. Sam dared me to go in and I was nervous. That bad feeling just intensified, but again — fourteen. I wasn’t being smart about it. So… I went into it. I kept going and it was dark. I was turning back when I tripped and I flailed. Accidentally hit some button that was on the side and it turned on.”
Johnny took a sharp breath.
“And um. Did you know that the portal takes a lot of electricity to start up?” Danny joked weakly, “Took three blocks worth. Um, lots of ectoplasm, too — from both the zone and the artificial stuff my parents use.” He shuffled, “So um, turns out both those things can revive and kill people. So I just kind of — died and revived a lot until it turned on and basically spat me out into the lab.
“That’s - Kid…”
“So um, maybe since I was dying and reviving so much death didn’t have a chance to fill me in? Honestly, would have like the heads up.” Danny said sheepishly, “I didn’t even understand what had happened until ghosts started coming through the portal.”
“Seriously?”
Danny shrugged, “I mean, I kind of suspected. I was falling through floors. It was hard to ignore, but I didn’t know - My parents are good inventors, but not the best scientists and it made things hard to figure out.”
“What? You bought that whole non-sentient BS?”
“No.” Danny shook his head, “I just didn’t buy any of it — and I mean none of it. I wanted nothing to do with the whole thing. The whole town thought my parents were crazy, they were always in the lab working, and I only ever saw them briefly once or twice a day. Don’t get me wrong. They’re still my parents and I love them, but… they have two big priorities. Their work and their kids. Their work is just… a higher priority to them.”
“Oh.” Johnny cringed, “Oh. Kid…”
“So yeah. Life sucks. Death sucks… but I really need to know what to do and why Ember is freaking out over me being called ‘favored one’.”
“Uh, right.” Johnny paused, “Well, it’s like old ghost language. Um. Basically, it’s like being called a really, really close friend or adopted family. Kind of like… ‘hey, this is my person that I love and protect’. It’s platonic unless they specify otherwise.”
“Huh, okay.” Danny blinked, “That makes sense, but why would Ember freak out?”
“Well… who called you that?”
“Oh! Clockwork and Pandora call me that when I visit.”
Johnny blanched, “What?”
“And now you’re freaking out, too.”
“You’ve been just- Kid! Are you just casually talking to them?”
“Um, yeah? They said it was okay?”
“Do you know nothing about the hierarchy of the- Wait. No. You didn’t get to talk to Death. Of course you don’t-“ Johnny sighed — covering his eyes, “Okay, so do you know what the ancients are?”
“I thought that was just a saying.”
“No, it’s not-” Johnny pinched the bridge of his nose, “The Ancients are the most powerful spirits in the Zone. They’re ghosts, but they resemble ideals more than they do a person most of the time. Practically gods. The ancients are Undergrowth, Frostbite, Nocturne, Pandora, Clockwork, Vortex, and Pariah Dark. Thing is… where most ghosts plateau at a certain power level the ancients can just keep growing in power. Clockwork is one of the strongest — so strong, the Observants bound him to their will.”
“Yeah, I heard about that, but he’s really nice, you know.” Danny smiled, “And he makes really good cookies really fast.”
Johnny stared at Danny for a long moment, “Danny. Do you not hear yourself right now? He’s basically the god of time.”
“Yeah, but if he didn’t want me to visit, I wouldn’t be able to find him.” Danny shrugged, “So he told me if I can see the clocktower, I’m welcome to come in.”
“Kid…”
“Besides. I’m friends with half of those guys and they’re cool.”
“Wha- How many ancients do you know?”
“Um… All the ones you just listed? I’m friends with Frostbite, Pandora, and Clockwork. I fought Undergrowth, Vortex and Nocturne before, but Nocturne likes me now. Um, Undergrowth doesn’t like me, though. Loves Sam, though… Um, obviously I know who Pariah Dark is after the whole thing in Amity-“
Johnny stilled, “Wait a minute… Kid. I need you to answer me honestly here… Did Pariah ever mention a challenge when you fought him?”
“Well, um. I guess? He was all formal speak, though, so…”
“Kid.” Johnny said very slowly, “Did he ever issue a challenge or accept a challenge from you?”
“… Um. He did say that he accepted my challenge or something, but wasn’t that just fight-talk or…”
“I think I get it now.” Johnny sighed, facepalming, “Just… maybe don’t tell people about this and consider asking one of the ancients allies you have about what Pariah accepting your challenge means for you.”
“For me? What-“
“Just… give it some thought.” Johnny paused, “And- Well, I can talk to Ember for you, yeah?”
“Thanks.”
Danny curled up on a sofa as Pandora embraced him with three arms and ran her fourth hand through his hair.
“Pandora.” Danny said softly, “Some of my friends say you, Frostbite, and Clockwork are ancients.”
“They are correct.”
“I didn’t know what ancients were.”
“I noticed.” Pandora laughed a bit, “But you’re a sweet child. You helped me get my box back and did not demand my favor. Perhaps it was selfish not to tell you, but I didn’t want to distress you. You are a kind and humble soul. Is it such a surprise I wish to continue seeing you?”
“You thought I would stop if I did?” Danny asked, confused, “I mean, sure my other friends were shaken up by it, but they don’t know you. Why would I be afraid when you’re so nice?”
Pandora blinked and then smiled warmly — a little laugh pulling from her throat. Oh, the innocence of such a young spirit, “Why, indeed? I suppose I didn’t give you or myself enough credit, did I?”
Danny shrugged, “I don’t have room to judge people for being different anyway. I’m a halfa. Pretty sure that’s even rarer than being an Ancient, right?”
“I suppose that is true.” Pandora smiled, “There are only a few halfas and none are quite like you. There will only ever be one of you.”
“Does this have something to do with why I never got to meet death?” Danny asked, confused, “That’s the only thing I can find that seems all that different-“
“In a way… Yes, but there are many more differences. The main one is that you powers have grown beyond Vlad Masters and they continue to do so.” Pandora said, “You are what we call a ‘Juna Potenco’. Most realms will never have heard of such things, but us ancients do not forget and when faced with a gift like yourself… well, you’ll only see more of us with time.”
“What does that mean? Is it bad?”
“No, no. It is a gift, not a punishment.” Pandora promised, “You are an inspiring soul, favored one, and it seems the realms themselves have seen that.”
“That doesn’t sound right.” Danny pulled away and sat up as he shook his head, “I’m a halfa, but that’s what I am. It doesn’t say anything about who I am. There isn’t anything special about who I am.”
“Everyone else disagrees with that last statement.” Pandora shook her head, “But I will let you in on the secret.”
“Yeah?”
“These are not due to your half spirit nature, but something truly special.” Pandora cupped his cheek, “Danny, do you truly wish to know? As amazing as this is, I am not sure you will be ready for the truth just yet.”
“I’m - I���ve been debating what colleges to apply for, but… I don’t know if any of them will take me now with my grades. I still look fourteen — fifteen at the oldest… and I still feel fourteen.” Danny looked at Pandora with pleading eyes, “So if this would impact my future, I think I’d like to know. Before things get complicated.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Suddenly, everything froze.
Danny looked up to see Clockwork putting a medallion on Pandora while Frostbite gave him a smile.
“I presume you’re here to assist in informing him?” Pandora asked.
“Indeed.” Frostbite nodded.
“Informing me of what?” Danny asked, confused.
“When you went to face Pariah Dark, you stated your intention to fight him.” Clockwork said, “And he accepted your challenge. You fought in single combat, removed the Crown of Fire from his head, and then managed to get him into the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep.”
“Vlad-“
“Plasmius might have locked the Sarcophagus, but you have repeatedly bested him and even when he has gotten the best of you, it has not been in single combat. However, Plasmius at one point claimed your fight was a ‘fun challenge’. You agreed — officially accepting it as such. When you defeated him, he lost any fragile claim to the throne.”
“Claim to the- Wait. What are you saying?” Danny glanced between them, “What? No. No… you have to be kidding me. I’m just me. I was trying to help, not-“
“Child, your soul was always going to be tied to the zone one way or another.” Pandora said, “Mortality is already a fragile thing, but someone so surrounded by ectoplasm at a young age all while experiencing the struggles you did with your parents absence… it was inevitable that you would be a powerful ghost.”
“But, then, Great One.” Frostbite continued, “You stood fully emerged in the space between worlds and thought of protection and forgiveness — mercy. You did not even consider vengeance or desires of your own. Only the wellbeing of others. It is an act of great sacrifice and not one many can complete so fully.”
“To put it simply, Danny.” Pandora said, “You’re one of us, Juna Protenco. New and young power that will grow infinitely. Though you are far from ancient, you will be with time.”
“An ancient to be.” Danny said distantly.
“The Ancient of Protection, Space, Mercy, and Matter.” Clockwork turned into his newborn form, “The best candidate for king we’ve had in a long time. Though, perhaps I am a bit biased.”
“Does it have something to do with space-time?” Danny guessed, “Because Matter, Time, and Space…”
“Correct.” Clockwork smirked, “Matter tells spacetime how to curve, and curved spacetime tells matter how to move. I guide you and you make changes that I will use to guide you again.”
Dannu blinked, “Oh. I get it.”
“You do?” Pandora blinked.
“That’s domains for you.” Frostbite chuckled and then quickly explained when Danny gave him a confused look, “We all innately understand our domains and their meanings. My domain is progression, society, and advancement.”
“Mine is responsibility, hope, protection, and perseverance.” Pandora revealed.
“Indeed.” Clockwork transformed into the middle aged man again, “But now that you know of your future, we must prepare.” He put his hand on Danny’s shoulder, “Your coronation must happen by the time you turn eighteen. As Ghost King, you will need to learn some diplomatic skills. We will teach you while you finish your human schooling.” Clockwork promised, “You can tell your parents the truth or you can say you are simply leaving for college, but Maddie and Jack Fenton cannot move to the Zone with you. Your sister is welcome. Your friends are welcome, but unfortunately…”
“I understand.” Danny lowered his head, “I don’t think I’ll tell them just yet. Maybe I’ll leave a note or a video, but…”
Clockwork’s eyes glazed over briefly — clearly checking the timeline.
“That is a good idea.” Clockwork nodded.
“Okay.” Danny swallowed, “I can’t -”
“No.” Clockwork said, “Honored as these two would be, they have their duties and people. They cannot. I am both bound by the Observants and a little too prone to acts of selfishness. It is too much power for me. No. It must be you.”
“You’re not selfish. You helped me.” Danny tilted his head, confused.
Clockwork chuckled guiltily as Pandora made a face and Frostbite shifted awkwardly.
“There is a reason people fear me, Danny.” Clockwork seemed more amused than anything by the sudden awkwardness, “I appreciate your trust in me, but I was not so good or kind in life. I hold domain over regret and retribution as well as time. It is a position I earned after giving and getting both in equal measure. I am not a protective spirit by nature. I am one that seeks justice and sometimes revenge.”
“I don’t get it.” Danny frowned, confused.
“Soon, you will.” Clockwork said grimly, “But for now… Trust me when I say all is as it should be.”
“Okay.” Danny said, “I trust you.”
“Now, time in.” Clockwork said. When Danny tried to give him the medallion he shook his head, “No, hold onto it. I believe it goes without saying, but do not lose it.”
“I know. I won’t.” Danny promised.
“Good, now… I believe you have some friends to talk to?”
“Er, right!” Danny said and rushed off.
“He doesn’t know who you are?” Frostbite turned to Clockwork, “And you haven’t told him?”
“… He’ll learn during his studies.” Clockwork admitted begrudgingly, “And it’s best that he come to me after he processes the information than during.”
“Just remember, Kronos.” Pandora glared as she handed over her medallion, “One wrong move-“
“Yes, yes, I am very aware of your opinions of me, Keeper of Hope.” Clockwork held a hand to Frostbite, “Shall I take you back to your people?”
“Er, yes.”
“Good, then-“
“Hey! I was not finished-“
“TIME OUT!”
Pandora sighed as they disappeared, “Ugh. He is always such a petty menace. One of these days…”
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DPXDC prompt. Nanny Wilson
Little Danny is almost lost in the mall when his parents suddenly run too fast in an attempt to catch up a ghost that their equipment has detected. Young Fenton is not a crybaby at all, but being alone without daddy and mommy is a little scary, so he begins to whimper and run around, trying to find familiar features in the blurry figures around him. Finally, he bumps into the thigh with a gun. It doesn't look much like an ectoblast, but dad is always inventing something new, so Danny quickly hugs this leg as hard as he can and begs loudly.
Danny: Daddy! Don't leave me! Slade: What the hell… Boy, I'm not your dad.
Danny blinks a few times and realizes that this man really doesn't look like Jack.
Danny: Oh. I'm sowwy. Can you help me find my daddy?
Slade: What makes you think I'm going to do this?
Danny: You have a gun and dad has a gun, so you're good. Are you here to hunt too? Slade: Something like that...What's your father's name, kid?
Jack: Danny! There you are!
A huge figure in a hazmat suit rushes towards them and Danny notices that his new friend is hastily hiding the weapon. To cheer up the man who is obviously meeting Jack Fenton for the first time, Danny smiles broadly. Dad may look scary, but he doesn't steal other people's toys.
Jack: Oh, thanks for looking after him. Our goal turned out to be too fast and we didn't even notice when our boy started to fall behind. Slade: No problem, colleague. Maddie: ? Danny: Kind uncle is also a hunter. Maddie: Oh, that's great! Em, sorry, but is there any chance that you have a time to look after our boy for a few days? We'll pay you well. You see, he rarely trusts people so quickly, and we absolutely do not have time to look for a replacement for our old nanny, and we really need to complete the last project as soon as possible.
Looking at the giggling boy trying to see if there are any other interesting things on him, Wilson decides that this will not be a bad experience in case he decides to establish a relationship with his found daughter.
Slade: All right, I'll take your order.
~~~About ten years later~~~
Danny, who is much more familiar with death than in canon, after being freshly ghosted: Damn, nanny will be so mad at me.
~~~~~ Danny: Hey, Slade. Do you want me to show you something cool? Slade: Not now, kid, nanny is cleaning up. Danny: Yeah, about that. *makes a corpse go through the ground* Ta-da! Can we talk now? Slade at the first second: *Surprised Pikachu face*. Slade when he notices a strange glow around Danny, like from ectoplasm in the lab of the boy's parents: >:( … >:( … >:( Danny: S-stop it!
~~~~~ Slade: And take out the bloodstains from those shirts too, they're my favorites. Danny: Oh dude, have you heard that child labor is illegal? Slade: Whoever doesn't help uncle Slade doesn't get a new knife for Christmas. Danny: Pfff…Now I'm my own weapon, come up with something new or I'll find myself a cooler mentor. Slade: Jackanapes!
~~~~~
When Wilson stumbles upon a distraught runaway Robin, he sincerely tries to take care of him as well as he took care of Danny. Deathstroke is an experienced babysitter, so there shouldn't be any problems with vigilante child being around on his missions. All children love knives, workouts and guns, right? Plus, staying alone when they are upset, as Jazz says, is unhealthy.
~~~~A few days later~~~~
Dick's thoughts: He wants to make me his evil sidekick, oh no! Wilson's thoughts: What's wrong with this kid? Batman so fucked up? Wayne needs to be stripped of his parental rights. I'm calling Jazz.
~~~~~
Wilson, who does not understand that he has been hanging out with Fentons too long, looks with perplexity at Grayson, who's running away from flying pieces of Maddie's pizza, then shoots some pepperoni and sits down at the table. It's going to be a long way. Poor boy.
~~~~~
Meanwhile, Fenton family is visiting Masters for the first time. Vlad tries to flirt with Maddie and then pretends to be good-natured while getting to know Danny.
Danny: I know 54 ways to kill you with this fork. If I were you I think I'd watch my mouth. Jack: He's joking, V-man. Danny: I'm not. Jack: He's just like his babysitter. They have such an unusual sense of humor. I think our boy really likes you! Usually Danny is too shy to talk like this with strangers. Vlad: Babysitter? Maddie: Yes, Mr. Wilson helped us out a lot and often did not even take payment. He's an angel. Vlad: I think I've heard that name somewhere before... Jack: Ugh, I want to introduce you anyway! Danny: Me too. Jack: Great. What about Wednesday? Danny: Dad, uncle might be busy. Let me ask him when he has time to, um, pay your old friend a visit.
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psyche-in-the-window · 7 months
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matthias nonius in harrow the ninth is sooo funny, im sorry. dude's chilling in the river, suddenly is summoned to a bubble in said river by a 1000years in the future compatriot who has a obsessive hyperfixation and has written a 20-book long epic about him. in that bubble he has to fight a woman with a bitchy personality type who has more guns than she should and is for some reason dressed in a orange hazmat suit. he's doing this to protect the guy (dead) who wrote the 20-book long epic fanfic about him, a stick of a goth teenager (not dead) that is apparently being haunted by the woman in the orange hazmat suit (dead) and also created the river bubble, plus an assortement of ~5 other people (also dead). whole time he is forced to talk in meter????
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howlingday · 10 months
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Big Ol' Can
Jaune: Well, this is just great isn't it? No dust, no bullets, and even our swords are losing their edge.
Ren: Lost.
Jaune: Did you find anything we can use as a weapon?
Ren: Nope. Just old canned food.
Jaune: ...It'll have to do. (Takes can) Ready?
Ren: (Takes can) Ready.
It ain't carrots~
It ain't peas~
It ain't peanuts in salted grease~
You just opened up a great big can of WHOOP-ASS~!
Jaune: (Carries box of cans down the hall, Tosses Ren can)
Ren: (Bullseye headshots Ursa, Taps Jaune)
It ain't condensed milk~
It ain't soup~
It ain't peaches in the syrup goop~
You just opened up a great big can of WHOOP-ASS~!
Jaune: (Tackles Hazel to the ground, Repeatedly whacks head with a can)
Ren: (Breaks Watts nose and jaw with a can, Chasing after Tyrian)
Oh, my dear, it's very clear that you did something wrong~!
So, it's time, to pay for your crime with punishment and this song~!
Jaune: (Grabs Tyrian's tail, Yanks him close, Konks him in the head with a can)
Ren: (Bowls can across the floor, Trips Salem, Picks her up)
It ain't gravy~
It ain't clams~
It ain't salmon or processed hams~
You just opened up a great big can of WHOOP-ASS~!
Salem: Put me down!
Ren: (Tosses her to Jaune)
Jaune: (Catches her, Piledrives her)
You just opened up a great big can of WHOOP-ASS~!
Jaune: Now take your god-complex havin' ass and get the hell out of here!
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sonicman66 · 1 year
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It happened agaaaaaain
Dpxdc (mostly batman but y'all know the drill)
Danny reveal goes bad, as it sometimes does. Your decision if its a Permanent or Temporary bad result, but either way he takes off and ends up in Gotham. In the midst of getting himself settled (finalizing his new identity if he has one, pulling his emergency funds, etc.) he looks for a job, something that won't look Too Deeply into this malnourished teen with Iffy papers, no references, clearly not a local applying.
And finds work under one Oswald C. Cobblepot, who takes pity on the lad and gives him a job. Kid is either too young to mix drinks or doesn't know how, he's a bit too raggedy to be a waiter or a server, and pity doesn't mean he trusts the kid enough to let him do any of the important work, and the kid does not seem suitable for hench work. So he makes him the janitor.
The Bats catch word that Cobblepot has a new employee, and naturally they get curious, even if Penguin is on a legit streak or not, bc the new hire has obviously faked papers.
Meanwhile Penguin is happy as a clam. The new kid is great at his job, leaves the place lookin spotless, and doesn't ask any questions about suspicious stains or weird trash (besides 'where's the bleach' and 'is this hazmat or just garbage?')
Until one day, in the middle of his cleaning, Danny walks into a previously spotless room to find it slightly messed, with a shadowed figure hunching over a computer, clearly looking through files.
At this point i can't decide which way to take this is funnier.
A: Danny walks up and knocks the intruder unconscious. Calls his boss up and asks what the protocol is for a knocked out Batman in the records room.
B: Danny just huffs from the doorway. 'Dude. Seriously? I just cleaned this place.' The Bat doesn't startle, but Danny does find himself staring at the business of a batarang with Batman looming over him. Gets an impromptu interrogation like 'Why are you working for the Penguin?' 'Because he pays in cash, which i require for goods and services?' 'What do you know about his operations?' 'Jack shit, i'm a janitor.'
Or C: Batman stares at Danny. Danny stares at Batman. Danny scowls. 'I'm going to shut this door. When I come back in five minutes, this room better be as clean as it was before you came in. Got it?' Then steps out without waiting for a response. Heads out, calls Oswald and asks what the protocol is for encountering a Bat or Bird on the premises.
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2plolo · 7 months
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Dealer: j got this new strain 💯 it’s called, “thanergy link to your daughters longsword” 😳🔥 gonna be blitzed off your titz
Me: whatever man I don’t feel shit
5 minutes later: dude I swear I saw some bitch in a hazmat suit at the bottom of that glass coffin
My girl Harrow, pacing: the eggs you gave me all died and you lied to me
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paymechildsupport · 6 months
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I've never done a request before so please bear with me🥲
I was wondering if you could do another Francis Mosses x reader.
I really enjoyed your Spouse!Reader x doppelgänger!Francis and wanted to see your take on D.D.D. trainee!Reader x doppelganger! Francis, where we get sent out to 'take care' of Francis.
Really excited to see what you do with this prompt🙏🏾
>nahhh this is a devious prompt, -- I gotchu 🙏😈🙏😈
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“Does this please you, Officer?”  // Doppel!Francis x DDD Officer Reader
--Doppelgänger!Francis x DDD Reader tasked with his neutralization 🙏
-!! AFAB Reader, -- though genetalia isn't outright explicity stated -(?) -- there is room for your imagination though 😋
-!! CW: nsfw- (smut), ; Dubcon /// Hand-job; sex against a wall; degradation; implied overstimulation
A/N: the number of Francis requests are CRAZY, -- and I completely understand why, -- man's actually majestic <3.
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This was not how you planned to spend your Tuesday night,— grumpy and exhausted, woken up mid-sleep by an emergency dispatch.
“Mm… hello.?” Your groggy voice speaks into the ringing phone, eyes still sticky from sleep. 
“Emergency Dispatch: Doppelgänger identified at Complex II,— repeat, doppelgänger identified at complex II,— dispatch agent, neutralize the threat”. They clicked off, leaving you alone in the dark. 
Fuuuuuuck…. 
You fit yourself to your uniform quickly, practically ripping the hazmat suit in an attempt to get inside. Stupid cheap uniform. 
Hurriedly, you grabbed your gear before rushing out the door, immediately stopping to softly tiptoe down the hall, (it would be inconsiderate to wake your neighbors at this hour).
You bolt out the complex, trying your best with the minimal light from the lampposts to groggily stumble your way to Complex II. You recall briefly the mention of a new doorman, a rookie. You figured it made sense,— poor new guy’s first day and he’s greeted by what you can assume as a particularly aggressive doppelgänger. 
Trudging up to the looming building, you approach the iron bound mechanical door. You can see immediately the shutters to the doorman’s office are closed, bits of movement visible from the gaps in the blinds. The poor dude was in shambles. 
You approach the gate, eyes locking on the figure of the doppelgänger, 
Hmm, let’s see who it is tonight…
You’re surprised to see the handsome face of your milkman staring back at you, eyes looking as dead as ever. The air was knocked right outta your lungs,— holy shit these doppelgängers were getting good. 
Clearing your throat, you address, 
“Uh,— right, sir,” you look at the doppelgänger, “I’m gonna need you to come with me.” 
He says nothing, opting to just stare. It’s then you notice the gaping hole that was his mouth, the two black chasms that were supposed to be his eyes. From afar, he’d look perfectly normal,— but in the light all the inhuman imperfections stuck out like a sore thumb 
Holy smokes that’s hot. 
“I’m going to take you with me now,” you don’t even know why you’re telling him this, why the hell were you being all nice with a doppelgänger? Sure, he was good looking,— sure, you were curious what that mouth could do—- 
But that’s besides the point. 
You approach hesitantly, hooking an arm around ‘Francis’, giving him a light tug to signify him to follow you. 
Surprisingly, he does. Without a single word or complaint. He just… stares. With those beady white pupils. It sends a delicious shiver down your spine. 
Leading him away, you look over your shoulder at the doorman who just peeked out from behind the shutters, giving him a reassuring thumbs up as you walk away with your new companion. 
“Threat neutralized,” you repeat into the bulky walky talky attached to your belt, “order complete, over”. You place it back in its compartment, continuing until you and ‘Francis’ reach the anomaly compound for all things strange and odd. 
‘Francis’ looks at the compound with horribly disguised disgust. You only chuckle grinning, 
“No no, don’t worry. You aren’t going in there…” he seems to breathe a sigh of relief— if that’s even possible—, before you finish the last bit, 
“— don’t worry, I have… other plans for you..”
——
“Strip.” 
“Excuse me?” He whirls around, taken aback. 
“You heard me, strip” 
“And why,” his eyes narrow, “would I do that?” 
You shrug, “safety protocol,-- we’re in the decontamination room,-- can’t let you in if your clothes are contaminated, y’know?” 
'Francis' is absolutely flabbergasted. 
“Oh, and for security measures someone else has to be in the room at all times, – but uh,-” you grin, “we’re a lil’ short staffed at the moment, so it looks like it’ll just have to be you and me. 
'Francis' only looks at you through narrowed eye lids, thinking, “and if I refuse?” 
“Then I’ll strip you myself” and you step closer to do just that. 
'Francis' skitters backwards to the other end of the room, back hitting the wall, “h-hey! No need for that, I’ll do as you ask…” he mutters
Chuckling, “at least you can be obedient” 
'Francis' looks away almost bashfully as he begins to undo the buttons on his shirt, fabric peeling away to reveal the pale skin underneath. His hat rests on a nearby bench
“Fully,” you purr, “I want it all off.” 
You swear you see the tiniest hint of red tinge his cheeks, and you can’t help but wonder just how advanced this doppelgänger was. Good thing you were about to see for yourself in a moment… 
The air is heavy, tense, almost, as 'Francis' slowly undoes the buckle on his belt, pants sliding down to his ankles, – his boxers the only scrap of clothing left hiding him from you. 
He wearily regards the way you look at him, not missing the growing flare of hunger behind your eyes, 
“Does this please you, officer?” his words are clipped, tension building up behind each one. Biting your lip, your breath almost catches at the way he smiles, teeth a little too sharp to be human. 
“No.” The words are thick in your throat, forcing them out a bit of a struggle, “Get rid of the rest of it, now” 
He bites his tongue, making no move to do so. In a second you’re on him, pinning his figure to the wall, bodies pressed up together. He has no time to react as you hook two fingers around his boxers, harshly yanking them off. 
“Oh.”
Free of the confines of his pants, his erect cock springs loose, tip already dripping with precum. 
“Huh.” 'Francis' can’t even turn his head your way, face hot and sweating slightly, “Who would’ve thought,” – your hands curl around him, taking him fully in your fist. His eyes fly to your face, pupils blown and dilated, staring in horrified arousal as you began to knead the hardened flesh, “--what a sick little thing you are, getting off on my reprimands, hmm?” 
'Francis' sucks in a sharp breath, muscles tensing almost to a breaking point. His entire body shook with an animalistic need. More strands of precum build up on his tip, all read and agitated. Your thumb rubs the tiny slit, coating him with the sticky fluid. You found it hilarious, – no way this freakish creature had a fucking thing for degradation. 
His mouth opens in the shape of a small ‘o’, eyes rolling back as you teasingly pull at his dick, your hands making wet squelching noises playing with the soaked meat. 
“Mm,” you hum as you continue to play with him, dumbifying the creature in your hands. His legs start shaking like a dog’s, lewd whimpers flowing from his lips, glistening with saliva and drool. He desperately thrusts himself against your hand, chasing his pleasure farther. Jerking him off slowly, immense satisfaction burning in your stomach at the way your hand milks him. Each low groan went straight to your pulsing heat, drenching your own pants. 
Panting, unfamiliar with the immense, foreign pleasure curdling through his gut, 'Francis' seems to forget the guise of his human appearance, pornograpic moans mixing in with groggy animalistic growls and grunts. Carnal desire ripples through his veins, building up in his stomach, molten hot, and threatening to explode from his twitching cock in your hands. Poor thing can’t even formulate words, getting his brains fucked out just by your hand alone. 
He gasps, right about to climax into your hammering fist when you suddenly retract your hand. 'Francis' looks at you with wide eyes, looking every bit the kicked puppy, cruelly robbed of his orgasm. 
“Hh. huh… nghu..- ga-?..”,  panting.
You chuckle slowly, “no, not yet…” 
He can only watch with teary eyes as you skillfully unbuckle your pants, sliding them off along with your underwear. You grab him by the hips, positioning him (which isn’t hard, considering the only thing keeping his shaking body up was your torso), and aligning your pelvis, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You carefully slip him into your drenched hole, gasping softly at the sensation of him.
“Hah… like I said….” ‘Francis’ can only gape as you adjust yourself, cock twitching madly inside of you, 
… “I’m not done with you yet…”
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p0ssym1lker · 2 years
Text
Some civilians were kidnapped by Mr. Freeze and the bats were trying to figure out how to get them out
Suddenly one of the hostages spoke up
"Dude! Your wife is is just ectocontaminated, easy fix."
Mr. Freeze turns to the girl who looks at him like he's stupid
"Don't look so surprised, I'm contaminated myself but your wife just doesn't have the right stuff to cleanse it. There's a charm on my bag and if you put it on her - clothes not skin - she'll start cleansing... No, no the pink bag, yes, don't fucking rip it off you hooligan"
Mr. Freeze was still mistrustful but every chance is important so the hostage was brought to him
"If you lie-"
"What would I get out of it? Now take of the chunky ghost necklace and put it on her as well to speed it up."
...he did so
The bats were watching with bated breath as Mr freeze took it off and flinched
"Yeah feels kinda weird to normal ppl but trust, it feels great when you got some ecto in ya. If you really wanna speed it up I can fall in a favor but I will need a sheet of paper and a pencil for that."
After watching his wife's vitals change for the better, Mr freeze immediately got them for her. She then started painting a weird circle and chanting in a language no one understood.
Then a white haired guy in a hazmat suit appeared.
"Yo phantom, can ya help out his wife... On the condition he let's all the hostages go and..."
The hostages were freed pretty much immediately and nightwing decided to charade to them it was supposed to say "he stays peaceful" but it was not easy to understand
"...yeah well...help his wife" she ended up saying, much to nightwings dismay
"So while he does his thing, your wifes vitals might change and your gonna think it's worse but they work with the ecto, you can check mine, we should get similar ones, you can keep my cleanse stuff, she should keep one around at all times and-"
The...hostage? Helper?... The girl rambled on while Mr. Freeze checked her vitals
"Yeah no, blood isn't gonna show up differently, I don't think this universe has the stuff to see it yet"
Wait what-
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