#dumbass idiot husbands i love them

[peanchxes]

Just some guys! A couple of dudes! Buddies! Pals even!

[lesbianballofgender]

So Azi and Crowley have been going on dates for thousands of years but do you think they’d both freak tf out if they went on an officially labelled date

Just:

Crowley, leaning against something:

Fancy a spot of lunch, Angel?

Azira, blushing: Oh, you do tempt me

Muriel, having watched this exchange: OoH! I read about this in a human book! You’re going on a date right? It’s a human thing.

Crowley: *panicked snake noise*

Aziraphale: *discorporates*

[tender-rosiey]

can i have more gojo fluff plsplsplspls i crave for more gojo fluff

gossip — gojo satoru xf!reader

a/n: gossip with husband gojo is here everyone! next up is sick gojo ;)) ( also sorry to all the stacy's out there; i am sure you are all wonderfull <33)

you and your husband love shit-talking people and the thing is you don’t even have to say anything. one look at each other and you both know what you’re both thinking.

consequently, it makes you guys absolutely terrible in a meeting.

and this is something that happens ever since you were students.

for example, yaga was lecturing you and the others about something. you and satoru locked eyes for a single moment, looked at yaga, then at each other once again.

both of you are barely able to contain your smiles.

in this relationship, you’re supposed to be the mature one, at least, before gojo mouthed a “tennis ball” pointing at his own head.

it looks like that was your breaking point because you started cackling loudly and almost fell off your chair if it wasn’t for satoru teleporting beside you and holding you up— barely holding back a cackle of his own.

yaga merely sighed, pinching his nose.

you tried your best to breathe out a sorry, but satoru is merciless as he continues joking about his teacher’s hairstyle which makes you laugh even louder.

yaga could smack gojo across the head and lecture you both separately.

but he guesses that with the way gojo’s eyes are brimming with adoration and the way you’re laughing and making the others around you laugh as well, he can let it pass.

even if it’s at his own expense this time.

everyone needed a laughing break every once in a while, especially as sorcerers.

now nothing has changed. you’re both married, completely in love and are teachers.

and you’re supposed to be teaching your class, at the moment.

but your dumbass of a husband thought it would be better to teleport to your favourite café and judge every poor soul out there.

“he looks like he eats deodorant.”

“he looks like he has a body pillow for a wife.”

“she looks like she thinks babies come from storks.”

“she looks like she eats soap and chia seeds for breakfast.”

“satoru, please,” you wheeze, hand over your mouth to muffle your laughs, “I c-can’t take it anymore!”

“but y/n, I can’t help myself! also that couple over there looks like the ones that wear matching hello kitty pijamas.”

you perk up at that, “satoru, we did that too.”

“I know, honey,” he quips, eyes locking with your own, “it’s cool when we do it, not anyone else,” he argues with a proud smile.

you shake your head as you mumble, “hypocrite,” and satoru gasps while trying to defend himself.

another instance is while training the first and second years.

naturally, you were sat beside satoru, but the idiot could not keep his mouth shut and you were, too easily, dragged into it.

he leans towards you, “I can’t believe that that yuuji went into the water with socks. what’s wrong with him?!”

“I know, right?” you whisper, amidst the yelling of nobara and maki.

after that, you and gojo don’t leave a student without making a comment about them—ruthless you are.

yuuji, self-esteem dragged through the mud and having enough, heads snaps towards you both, “can you stop bullying me?!”

satoru smiles while the both of you raises your hands in innocence then looks at you, “sweets, you know how megumi said todo’s head is like a pineapple?”

you nod and he gladly continues, “don’t you think it’s ironic that it’s him, out of everyone, that said that?—“

“DON’T DRAG ME INTO YOUR GOSSIP!”

and even though you talk about the kids, you also talk with them about everyone else.

you can never forget that time you went with the first years to get some sushi.

you had left no one in the restaurant without butchering their entire life or alternatively said: you made up stories for every person you saw.

but that shall be the story of another time.

along with judging every creature that has come to existence, you and your husband love to gossip, a lot.

nothing happens without one telling the other; you always keep the other updated about everything.

so today as you slam the door open, you are barely able to contain yourself as you yell out, “satoru, you will not guess what just happened!”

in an instance, he gets all the snacks and sits in front of you on the couch, face eager as ever.

he is wearing that bunny headband you got him for the self-care nights and you smile: you have both a best friend and a husband in the same person.

he leans forward, eyes wide, “is it about stacy?”

“how did you know?” you gasp before taking a bite from one of the many snacks laid on the table.

he shrugs, “lucky guess, plus! I’ve been curious ever since you told me about what she did! it’s hard to believe that she is dating 4 guys at the same time and they don’t even know that the other exists.”

“right? I’ve heard about two-timing but never four-timing, and speaking of them not knowing about each other,” you smirk and his eyes light up in excitement, “they found out today!”

satoru cackles before pulling you in to cuddle you, “I bet a story like that will take the entire night to tell.”

you look up at him, “and you don’t mind?”

he kisses your cheek leaving an obnoxiously loud sound, “of course not! I get to listen to some juicy and hot tea and I get to hear your gorgeous voice for a really long time! so practically heaven for me, sweets,” he grins.

a giggle escapes your lips, “gossip is heaven for you, my dear husband?”

“gossip with you is heaven for me, my dear wife,” he murmurs as he peppers your face with kisses before abruptly pulling back, “now tell me! I am dying to know!”

you laugh, “okay, so one of them…”

and so you tell the story of stacy, the four-timer.

satoru is hung up on your every word and you’ve yet to figure out whether it’s because two of the boyfriends end up fighting each other or because of something else.

to satoru, it’s clear, your voice and the way you’re so excited while telling him about how the third boyfriend ended up being the son of the ceo makes him smile contently as he hugs you closer.

he doesn’t know what else to do, but he has a feeling that he should thank stacy for providing the both of you with a very interesting story like that.

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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[queenpiranhadon]

"Satoru, are you sure about this?"

"C'mon sweetheart, show a little faith! If they can handle curses on the daily, I'm sure they can handle a baby."

"I know, but-"

Your husband silences you with a kiss, rubbing your back soothingly as he eases your worries.

"Sweetheart, I haven't been able to take you out on a proper date in ages." He pouts dramatically and you resist the urge to smack him (with love). "Let me spoil you, yeah? Relax and enjoy the day with me."

You huff slightly, feeling your cheeks heat up but you sigh, wrapping your hand around his arm as he leads you inside the fancy restaurant he booked reservations for.

The cause of your anxiety? It was your first time out with Satoru in a while, as you'd been busy with taking care of your son during your maternity leave.

However, after lots of begging and pleading, Satoru took your duties as a busy mother off your hands for the night, leaving Haru in the care of his students.

Usually, you'd be worried sick. You loved those kids to the moon and back, but with your baby? You're not even sure you could trust Satoru with your son for the day. (Not true, but after needing to tend to your child 24/7, you were bound to feel paranoid.)

However, Satoru was right. The three had faced much worse than a baby for the night, and Megumi was more than capable to rein in the chaos when it got too out of hand.

The restaurant was nice, and as always, expensive. You complained that Satoru would probably go broke at this right, but he always flashed you those sparkling blue eyes and a searing kiss that assured you that everything was going to be okay.

Sitting at your table in a secluded spot, the stars twinkle above you, the bustle of restaurant inside providing a nice ambiance as you and your husband fall into a comfortable silence, drinking up each others presence, and each other's love.

"Hey, sweetheart?" your husband asks, and you hum, turning your gaze to him.

"I wanted to say...thank you. For everything. For Haru, for...us."

You stare at him, speechless. Even after all these years, he still manages to make you as flustered as he did back then.

A wide, earnest smile stretches across your face as you take his large hand in yours, intertwining them gently and rubbing your thumb against his skin.

"Satoru, you don't have to thank me. Thanking me for loving Haru, for loving you...it's like thanking me how to breathe." you chuckle softly, as your husbands eyes soften in adoration. "Thank you, Satoru. For letting me love you...and for loving me back."

Satoru looks speechless, just as you did before, eyes all soft and wide and pretty pink lips parted slightly.

"Sweetheart?"

"Yes Satoru?"

"I really need to kiss you right now."

BONUS:

"Fucking hell- Yuji!"

"Gah- dammit! Where did he go?"

Nobara frantically searches around your living room, eyes flitting around in a futile attempt to search for the white haired baby that had somehow disappeared from their sight.

Yuji groans, flipping over the couch pillows in a frenzied manner, searching as well.

"Megumi's going to kill us!"

"Forget Megumi, the Gojos' are going to kill us!"

"You idiot, Haru's not going to be behind the damn pillows- He's not going to be under the carpet either dumbass!"

"Well I don't see you trying to help!"

A quiet clearing of the throat silences the two immediately, seeing Megumi holding a swaddled Haru who was asleep against the ravenette's chest, a pacifier in his mouth.

"If you two are done being complete idiots, help me fill his formula bottle."

Turning around, he pats Haru's head gently before glaring at them.

"And please, for the love of god, no cursing around the baby."

A/N: Big bro Megumi is a W frfr

[searchingforakeythatdoesntexist]

Day 7: “For you” – Good Omens

When life leaves you high and dry

I'll be at your door tonight

If you need help, if you need help

I'll shut down the city lights

I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe

To make you well, to make you well

What do you need?

I surrender honestly

You've always done the same for me

You're my backbone

You're my cornerstone

You're my crutch when my legs stop moving

You're my headstart

You're my rugged heart

You're the pulse that I've always needed

Like a drum, my heart never stops beating

For you.

[Previous] [Next Day] [First Day] - Don't forget to 💕/ reblog ;-)

These Cuties are too soft for the War... or maybe not? Come vote here on Reddit!

Personal challenge: a simple sketch each day

Goal: forcing me to keep things simple - inking, shading, just a few sashes of colour

Improvement pursued: to get the movement, the emotion, finding how to add depth, learning how to leave things barely finished

Max time allowed: 2 hours instead of 8-20 on my previous projects

Today's theme chosen by me: their Ineffable Bond. They can be friends, partners, enemies, rivals, angry neighbours or nasty coworkers, professors, gardener and bookseller, or whatever we can possibly imagine. They can be lovers, husbands, wives, spouses, divorced then remarried, idiots or dumbasses (XD), they can be angel or demon, a kind-hearted one or a bastard or a little bit of both. They can be Ace or Bi or everything else that incarnates each of the beautiful shades of the Rainbow Flag. But all these versions of them have one thing in common, and this is this Love, this Bond, this Ineffable Precious Something we gratefully share in this fandom and beyond.

These Cuties are too soft for the War... or maybe not? Come vote here on Reddit!

[ohimsummer]

✎ . . .❝ WHO DID IT? ❞

—poly!satosugu xmas shenanigans, satosugu x reader, justice for satoru he just wanted to make candy canes !

The day was going well. Splendid, even. It’s almost Christmas, and the chilly weather makes sure to remind you, flakes of snow peppering the ground and crunching beneath your boots. You’ve completed the task of some nice, last minute shopping for your husbands’ students, picking up some coffee orders, not forgetting a few of Gojo’s favorite desserts from that same coffee shop, and then you were back home in no time. Walking inside, you’re engulfed with a feeling of warmth and coziness, the smell of sugar with a hint of peppermint permeating in the air. Your call of ‘I’m back!’ suspiciously goes unanswered, but you assume your husbands are either distracted or out of earshot.

The honeyed scent of sugar grows stronger as you enter the kitchen, setting bags of gifts and groceries on the floors and countertops. Speaking of countertops…your brows knit, mouth agape in absolute shock as you really take in the center of what was once gorgeous marble. You hear Gojo’s boisterous laughter in the living room, Geto’s faint conversation underneath, and make a beeline straight for them. Upon your arrival, Geto spots you first, and the wide-eyed glance he shares between you and Gojo is very telling.

It’s a simple question.“Who did it?”

And yet getting an answer, at least from one of them, is like pulling teeth.

Satoru halts mid-sentence, turning to beam innocently at you, ignoring the bitter look in your eyes, out for blood. If Suguru’s simmering glare at his idiot counterpart is any indication, then you’ve already gotten your answer.

Said idiot is so good at playing dumb, as if something like this isn’t obviously his doing. “What’s wrong, baby?”

A small breath of exasperation leaves Geto as he takes in the interaction. He thinks Gojo is really in for it this time, he can tell by your body language alone that you’ve got some choice words for this man. Maybe you’ll actually kill him this time. Geto chuckles a good riddance, so low even he can barely hear it. Can’t afford to show too much amusement, lest he get caught in the whirlwind of your fury.

Your foot taps, impatient. Brand new countertops. Not even a month old, they told you to consider them as part of an “extra early Christmas gift”. Ruined with large, faded, circular marks right in the center, on display, and faintly reeking of peppermint.

Suguru grows hot as your furious gaze shifts to him, finger with a mind of its own as it points to Gojo. “He wanted to make candy ca–“

“What the hell, I thought we had an agreement?”

“I’m not taking the fall for this with you over that dumbass idea.”

“Dumbass? You were on board when I suggested it!”

“And that was my mistake for assuming you’d done more than five minutes of research and knew what you were doing.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to get in the spirit of Christm– ow!”

The sharp pinch on his ear leaves Satoru yelping like a hurt dog, stumbling along as you drag him into the kitchen, and Geto takes extreme joy in the small snippets of Gojo’s excuses as he fails to plead his case.

“Baby, my extremely beautiful, lovely, gorgeous wife, I just miscalculated a little, a tiny mist–“

“Mistake?” With your incredulous tone, one can only imagine the look on your face right now. “Look what you did to the countertop, Satoru, don’t come in my damn kitchen tryna be a professional chef or candy maker or whatever!”

A groan. “Technically,” and Suguru cringes immediately, head sinking back on the couch. “It’s all of our kitchen.”

The immediate silence afterward is heavy enough to weigh down a bear. Followed shortly by Satoru’s meek “Ya know what, you’re so right, baby. Your kitchen.”

[dilvuc]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝

"Weston College?! You? At such a young age???” Ciel raised his eyebrows. Nova nodded, “Because school for my age was too easy that Papa let me attend Weston College.”

“No wonder you've beaten me in chess…” the earl mumbled, rubbing his chin. Sebastian snorted, “Lost to a child, master?”

“Silence!”

A pre teen was defeated by a four year old in chess. How could this fucking be? How come such a four year old had such great intelligence? Tell that to Nova's favorite homeschool teacher.

“I was taught by my teacher who's an expert at chess.” Nova admitted. Ciel hummed, “You're smarter than you look. A prodigy child who can outsmart any adult. No adults think a four year old is smarter, but they underestimate them.”

“Master, hope you're not thinking of using him for your own advantage.” Sebastian sweatdropped.

“Nonsense, Sebastian.” Ciel smirked. Oh, he's planning something. Nova grinned, “I used to trick Papa all the time. He never even noticed that I've been stealing sweets that he hides from me.”

“Oh? What else?”

“I tricked a toy maker into making free toys for me. Then I did the similar method at school. They give me whatever I want.” The child beamed with stars floating around him. “I fooled them by acting innocent and cute~”

“...” Sebastian stared at the child before realizing that Nova and [Y] are alike. “Like a mini [Y]. He truly enjoys fooling the ladies just to get what he wants.”

“Heh. Perhaps~” Ciel smugly smirks.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

❝meanwhile w/ [y]❞

“I thought you were the only one here! Why's all of you here?!” [Y] sweatdropped as he's being surrounded by 10 women. Those ten women are his older sisters. How the fuck did a woman give birth to that many??

“Tell us about your husband! Is he cute?” One of the sisters asked.

“What's his name?”

“How old is he?”

“When did you two get married??”

“Hope you didn't do anything to hurt the poor man!”

“Why are you all ganging up on me?!” [Y] exclaimed, trying to move out of the way of his sisters. “His name is Sebastian. He was my previous head-butler, but he retired and became the head-butler of the Phantomhive Manor.”

“So…I've decided to propose to him to be my wife before we are separated. Good thing is we get to see each other again after two years apart.” [Y] blushed, scratching the back of his head.

One of his sisters grabbed her brother's cheeks and pulled on them, “You proposed to him without a wedding?! Are you a dumbass?!”

“H-hey!”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

“So, you have ten sisters?” Sebastian blinked owlishly.

❝Yeah…They like to nag me and stuff. They were desperate about you, too…❞ [Y] sweatdropped.

❝[Y]! Is that Sebastian that you were talking about? Let us talk to him!❞ Sebastian heard of the sisters grabbed the phone from the male. ❝You must be Sebastian! His wife!❞

“E-eh? Wife? I'm actually his husband—You know what, yes, I am his wife.” Sebastian said proudly with stars sparkling around him. “It's lovely meeting you all. My dear husband hasn't told me that he has 10 sisters.”

❝Idiot! Why haven't you told him about us?!❞ one of the sisters bonked [Y] in the head. [Y] grunted in pain, ❝Ow! You don't need to hit me!❞

Sebastian chuckled, “You all seem to get along well.”

While Sebastian was on the phone, Ciel was listening in on the conversation. He did hear Sebastian mention something about being someone's wife. Who?

❝You’re an omega, right? If so, when will I have my niece or nephew?❞

“A-ah? Children?” Sebastian blushed. “We wouldn't go that far to have children. We already have our adopted child.”

❝Adopted? That's more than enough! I wanna see my child~❞

The earl could see the embarrassed and bashful look on the butler's face. Why is a demon butler so embarrassed and bashful?

“But…if we were to do it again, then perhaps we can bear a child of our own…” Sebastian blushed, clasping his fist over his mouth. Ciel gasped softly.

❝E-eh?! Sebastian??? You never been a type to want a child!❞ [Y] exclaimed.

“Nova needs someone to hang around with, correct? I wouldn't want Nova to feel lonely.” Sebastian mumbled. The earl gawked at what he's hearing.

❝Ah…You're so cute. Alright. Whenever you're ready, we can continue without protection.❞ [Y] smiled.

“Hahaha~ You're always so charming~” The butler chuckled heartily. Ciel jaw dropped, like, what the fuck is he hearing??? Sebastian, an omega? A wife? Wanted children? With who? Who???

❝I’ll return in three days. Love you…❞

Sebastian was a little taken back by this before timidly responding back, “L…love you, too…Bye.”

After he hung up, Sebastian covered his red face, extremely happy that he was able to say “Love You”. To be honest, this is the first time he has ever said it which made him embarrassed.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Back with Ciel, the earl returns to the library with so many questions that need to be answered. Nova noticed Ciel's curious expression, “Ciel-nii?”

“Nova. Did you do that on purpose?” Ciel asked.

“Huh? What?” The child tilted his head.

Ciel kneels down at Nova's level, “About Sebastian and [Y]. They're…married…?”

“Ah. Ciel-nii found out…” Nova mumbled. He knew the day would come eventually. Ciel flinched, “You knew?! Is that why you're so desperate for them to be together because they're already married?!”

“You weren't so smart either…” the child admitted. “But…just pretend that you didn't know. You'll see how genuine their relationship is. Just don't get caught, k?”

“...You're right. Maybe I'll pretend that I didn't know until I find out more about their relationship.” Ciel mumbled, rubbing his chin. “It must be an act…! It must've been. I'll see if it's true they're being a genuine couple…”

“Tell me. Did you know that—”

“I know Mama is a demon. It was obvious…” Nova answered. Ciel sweatdropped, “Is this kid smarter than me???”

“Ah. Apologies for the wait, Master and Lil’ Nova.” Sebastian apologized as he entered the library with tea and juice then set them on the table. “Did I make you wait…?”

“No…We were just talking…” Ciel said. Sebastian nodded, “I see. Hopefully you're not making fun of me.”

“Not anymore, mama Sebastian.” Ciel teased, taking a sip of his tea. Sebastian gritted his teeth with annoyance.

“Thank you, mama.” Sebastian's angry aura disappeared when he heard Nova’s appreciation. Flowery aura surrounded the butler as he turned around and faced the child, “You're most welcome, lil’ Nova.”

“He's definitely a mama…”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

“My, aren't you adorable? How about a sucker?” Lau smiled as he tried to get the child's attention with a sucker. Nova hides behind Sebastian's leg, staring at the male, “Child predator…”

“Eh?” Lau sweatdropped.

“Shall I report you to the police?” Sebastian questioned with a dangerous smile. Lau sweatdropped, “W-wait…”

Madam Red bonked Lau on the head, “Stop scaring the child!” The lady in red then asked her nephew, “Where could Sire [Y] be? Is he not here?”

“He's on a three day business trip. He'll be back to get Nova.” Ciel answered, glancing over at Nova who's being spoiled by Sebastian. “Sebastian is playing as his mama. Spoiling the child.”

Nova beamed, “Mama, I want a telescope! I want to study the stars tonight! I've heard that there's a meteor shower coming tonight!”

“I'll be sure to get you a telescope. Anything else? A teddy? Books?” Sebastian beamed.

“Book about stellar astronomy!” The child replied.

“Oh? We have an astronomer, I see?” The butler chuckled. Nova nodded proudly.

“Ah…He's spoiling him like a mother…”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

❝w/ [y]❞

“So a bomber was planning to blow up the train, huh? Glad that was handled.” [Y] sighed with relief since he doesn't have to stay with his nagging ten sisters. Little did he know, the culprit is still active.

The taller male sat on the train and waited until he could reach the next destination. Sending three days away from his wife and child is a pain. The [h] haired male couldn't call them on a phone, so he decided to write a letter.

╭      ⁞ ❏. facts

┊      ⁞ ❏. the culprit is planning to blow up the train

╰┈➤ table of contents

➤ previous

[lovelyo]

Season 3 part 2 will be Ass. Let me Tell You Why.

Cause in the end, Penelope, Lady Whistledown, the one who has left devastation in people’s lives will get all what she wants. The man that she wants, the attention that she wants, the family she always wanted to be(so envious of them she talked shit about them ), will get her best friend back, might have the heir for that dumbass Featherington plot line, might get the Queen’s pardon and above all else, will most likely not give up LW cause they made LW such an integral part of the show.(so in that case, she’ll be even more filthy rich)

And if we go by leaked spoilers, it is said that Colin will be mad at Penelope for like 1 episode until Kanthony talks some “sense” into him. So that just tells me Kanthony will be OOC because there’s no damn way Anthony would let that beast comment about his wife slide.

There are no stakes when it comes to this season cause we all know how it’s finna go down. If Penelope gets any type of consequences, then her very undeserved HEA is doomed so everything is going to have to go her way for the already idiotic plot to make some form of sense. It’s like the love triangle in part 1, what the hell was the point of Lord Debling when everyone and their ancestors knew Colin and Penelope were end game? So we can see Colin’s cringe angst? If we already know the answer to the love triangle, there’s no point. The “find you a husband” plot line was stupid as shit anyway, but it’s whatever now.

Ugh, then we have to sit through more awkward love scenes between asshat 1 and 2

Eloise threatening Penelope with her LW identity is going to amount to nothing cause we know Penelope isn’t gonna receive any comeuppance. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they made Eloise apologize to Penelope for…🤷🏾‍♂️🤷(let’s apologize to the toxic friend for not dealing with their toxicity)

For Penelope to have a happy ending, she has to get away scot free and that’s what boils my blood. I hate in media and literature when a character goes around, creates chaos and receives nothing for it or just a slap on a wrist. I’ve noticed an increase in it lately too. Also, I’m tired of writers not severing their bias from their writing. I’ve been encountering many series lately where the writer(s) have favoritism towards a specific character and gives them the easy route, bends the world for them and pull punches just because they like them so much. It’s really aggravating cause you see everyone else getting put through the wringer and then you see the favored character walking through Candyland. It hurts the story, the character, and frankly makes you hate the character.

Everyone around Penelope is gonna act brain dead in order for Penelope to get what she wants and I’m not here for it. Even the general audience ain’t for it. The only people cheering this madness are the asylum patients called Polin fans with delusions that Penelope deserves the world.

I’m not even looking forward to Francesca and John’s story cause of the Poolin fecal matter I’ll have to swim through to get there. At this point, I’m might just watch spoilers of part 2 cause it’s not worth it.

P.S. Watch Cressida get the short end of the stick cause she’s the “bully” of the show and Penelope is the “victim”. Watch them break Creloise because of the “I don’t want you hanging around Eloise” subplot which will ultimately fuel Eloise and Penelope becoming friends again. Also, Penelope and Cressida competed for Lord Debling just for Penelope to go “sike” and marry Colin so she wasted Debling’s time and made Cressida feel like shit because she wasn’t chosen. P.S.S- Polins are huge ass hypocrites cause they ragged on Eloise being privileged and having “everything” but are silent about Penelope being privileged. By the end of this season, Penelope will basically have everything, even more so than Eloise, but sure, Penelope is definitely not privileged 😑. Penelope is privileged inside the world and outside by production, why are we denying this?

[angelynmoon]

Do you think RockstarEddie has fans that start wearing preppy clothing after they see Steve, hoping that dressing like Eddie's boyfriend/husband will get them into his pants and Eddie's so confused when he looks into the crowd one night and sees at least a dozen people dressed like Steve in cute little sweaters and nice jeans with styled hair.

And Wayne, whose been done with these two idiots since before they were dating, shows him side by side pictures of his funny dressed fans and Steve and tells him to spot the differeence al la that one meme from the Office where it says corporate wants you to spot the difference between these two pictures.

Only Eddie, this dumbass, is so in love with his Stevie that he starts listing like 100 things that are different. Making Wayne throw the pictures in the air.

Dustin films it and tells everyone something along the lines of, "we've been dealing with this man's crush on his boyfriend/husband (depending on the year) since 1986" and "i love my two dumbass dads but their love affair needs to stop" and "the honeymoon stage should be over by now it's been 5/10/20 years now, they have like ten kids/grandkids now" (depending on which year this is set)

[ffeelann]

könig w a reader who is much smaller than him but has ATTITUDE like she's a girl boss and könig is just 🧍🏻‍♂️

a/n: HE ORDERED WITHOUT PICKLES love these ones

open requestsss

tw: marriage omg, husband/wife, gentle giant/short demon, fem reader, she's LOUD. Swearing bc this girl has her attitude sorry, yelling, könig being like ''sorry she's kinda... haha''. not my first lenguage sorry BE NICE ILY

—Hey, hey. Wait your turn, man, the hell you doing? We've been here waiting for hours— Y/N heard a soldier saying. Oh damn, they were skipping turns on the queue again.

Y/N was a nurse who was trying, to work and check every single guy out there. But someone was doing some mess.

—Hey, Y/N, would you please...?— one of the nurses asked her, but she didn't even let him finish and she took off her gloves without hesitation.

—Hell yeah, these big ass idiots are messing with my temple again— ''temple'' ment the poorly made nursery that barely kept on it's feet.

She walked off the nursery to see the queue being interrupted by a guy that was taking another... way much taller... wait a second.

Ah, shit. That was König.

—Hey! Hey, you, big insufferable toddler! Let that man go or I'll cancel your date!

Y/N yelled while she walked quickly to that place. König stared at her while she got closer to them both, without really moving. He just made a slight effort to keep himself quiet and without any move. Waiting for that tiny piece of anger to come there.

—You yell at him, girl! My feet are hurting like shit for standing here for, like, hours. And this guy wants to skip the fucking que-

—He's not hurt, you dumbass, don't you have eyes?— Y/N said, and the closest soldiers were honestly looking at her with some amusement on their faces, since she was deffending the biggest man from the middle heighted one. When she was...

—Yeah shortie, that's pretty much making it way wor-

Y/N tried to punch him, but König hold her faster by her waist and took two steps back to avoid her kicking the hurted guy. While this happened, she yelled and swore at him.

—The hell you doing, man? Let the nurse get him— another guy said. And König denied with his head quickly.

—My wife doesn't really appreciate any comments about her height. She can come out as...

She suddenly shutted down her voice.

—What did you say, babe?

—Uh... I said ''my wife doesn't...''-

Y/N pointed to König's face making some effort to it. Which all the closest soldiers listened closely, specially the guy who tried to hold Y/N's husband back before.

—Heard that? This is my husband. And he's big and he can really beat your ass, hear me? Do not disrespect my man again, understood?— she said, pointing at her ring and showing her hand off at his face.

—Eh...?

—Understood?! Made myself fucking clear?!

The guy looked at König's eyes, and the man in question avoided the eye contact to look at the mad woman on his arms. He looked at the man for a tiny bit to nod softly, indicating him to quit and shut up.

—Y-yes, ma'am...

—Good!

She took the big man's hand once he left her to conduct themselves into the nursery. And König felt very proud to the fact that everyone looked at his wife. She was lovely, after all.

[mamawasatesttube]

I love mentor Tim and his hero kids. He says there’s anywhere between 6 and 27 of them at all times, he lost count. He’s lying. He knows everything about them. He is their cringe mentor who uses vintage memes and simultaneously the coolest person they know

there's a whole plot here i'm gonna write one day about tim mentoring a little gaggle of idiot teenagers <3 they adore him but he's so cringefail and they're like god how is it that you of all people know everybody in the hero community??? you did NOT just say "weirdchamp" tim youre killing us!!!

but the plot of this is a lil idiot teenager outsider pov thing wherein like. this lil squad of teenagers (all very starstruck by superfam btw. they all still think yknow superfam are kryptonians 24/7 and live at the fortress of solitude etc.) are blown away by the fact that tim, rook, their kind of pathetic scrunkly mentor who they love TIM, knows supernova. whoa. they saw supernova in the hallway and he stopped to say hi to tim!!! whoa!!!!

but then supernova just like. keeps showing up?? seemingly, like, just to hang out with tim? and theyre like oh my god wait you guys are fRIENDS???? TIM HOW????

supernova of course finds this hilarious, laughs his ass off, and says oh yeah man, this guy's been my bestie since we were what. fifteen? and tim snorts and says yeah, about then. and supernova elbows him and says what, you didn't tell them ANYTHING about our days of bothering red tornado? and tim says wryly, i didn't want to give them any more ideas.

and so, hero worship or not, supernova showing up to lounge on tim's desk while tim instructs them in hand to hand, or to chatter over tim's shoulder while tim tinkers with a new gadget, or this or that, etc, becomes kind of normal. he's just always hanging out, when he's not busy with his own hero work or away with other members of the superfam, etc. it's wild! they're all so starry-eyed. he talks to them about how cool tactile telekinesis is (and why is tim rolling his eyes??? supernova is right, it's SO cool!!) or about his favorite episodes of wendy the werewolf stalker (man that's old and like, a classic. he's cultured!!!! whoa...)

but they just see him around a lot, is the point. he's starting to become a constant presence, and they get to see how seamlessly he and tim interact.

and it is then. that the gaggle of teenagers starts to suspect something.

they have a feeling--and tim plays his cards pretty close to his chest, of course, but they have a feeling... that tim. might actually be in love with supernova.

(what follows: local bunch of dumbass teens with hearts of gold try really earnestly to set tim up with his own husband. tim doesn't understand why this is happening. kon thinks it's hilarious.)

[agender-witchery]

It hurts

After talking with people in discord for the week that this has been going on, I think my feelings on the Project Moon situation are just. Like, this was a company I felt was "safe". Obviously corporations are not your friends, but this was a studio that consistently pushed out games with progressive - and at times even radical - messaging. This was a studio that has consistently written solid characters with gender as an absolute afterthought. Emma is a boy! Harold is a girl! That's how little gender matters, which, ironically, is something that matters.

I can't think of another franchise I've engaged with that just... writes women as people. I've heard George R.R. Martin is like that, but I never engaged with the TV series that introduced the US to the concept of filler or the book series it was based on. I'm gonna gloss over Lobotomy Corporation a bit here because the story only has 13 characters, but 12 of them return for Library of Ruina. In Ruina you have Binah, Angela, Nikolai, and Elena as assertive women that take control of the situations they're in. You have passive uwu smol beans like Hod and Eileen! You have characters who are war criminals and that's not a mark of a villain, that's just a part of their backstory! Some of the women here have just Done Crimes! One of the women IS a crime! And men are treated the same! There are characters with traumas and behavioral disorders who act like real people would! Lesti saw the aftermath of Love Town and started talking about food! Beef intestine no less! Philip saw his colleagues get murdered and physically manifested a mental breakdown! Xiao saw her husband get murdered and physically manifested literal burning rage!

All of the writing has been good! All of it! And it has consistently written women in a way that is flat out rare, even in 2023. And Limbus has been doing the same! Outis is assertive! Ryoshu is assertive! Hermann is assertive! Don is an idiot and Faust refuses to talk half the time! Heathcliff is assertive! Meursault is assertive! Gubo is assertive! Hong Lu is an idiot and Sinclair is/was a pathetic sop! Across the board, the character writing is just GOOD. As Lobotomy Corporation progresses, Ayin's shitty behavior becomes more and more apparent! And that all culminates with Angela being tossed aside like garbage once she's no longer useful to him, as you hear her desperate wishes to just be seen!

All of that, or at least most of that, was Kim Ji-hoon. But Kim Ji-hoon is also the person who hastily fired VellMori at 11 PM, over the phone, while he was out of office in Japan, because some incels accused his company of being sympathetic to feminists in 2023.

And it fuckin hurts that the source of those stories, the stories that I just spent three paragraphs praising, the stories that are so important to me, could turn heel in half a second like that. As if he was writing completely different stories than the ones I've been reading. And I hate that? I hate that. Because there isn't a replacement! I don't get Grandma War Crimes and Dumbass Justice Enactor in other stories! Like, maybe some will come close, maybe some will have the same exact character somewhere, but never all of it together. Never written as amazingly as the City is.

So it hurts. And the silence is loud.

[explosionkatsu]

Aight. Let's try it this way. 🤔

Worried! Bakugou x Reader

You're the one getting home late with all your pro-hero job while your husband was on paid leave waiting for you, annoyed that you got home late.

---

Your body is aching everywhere as you pushed yourself to get home. It’s already 1 am and when you checked your phone, bunch of missed calls from your husband.

You're well aware that when you get home, either you'll receive a lecture for coming home late or your husband will serve you your dinner as he asks how was your day. Of course, you dreaded the lecture, and 100% quite sure you'll receive one.

As soon as you got home, the house was dark, and the only source of light is from your 72 inches flat screen television that was hanging on the wall.

“Tadaima.” You said, almost in a whisper and locking the door behind you. You turn your gaze away from the television for a second to take a good look if you locked the door properly. But when you turn your gaze back to the television, you were greeted by a muscular chest.

You blinked twice before slowly looking at your husband's scowling face.

It's like a parent about to scold their kid for doing something wrong. That's what you look like right now.

Hesitantly, you nervously smile as you raise your arm to wave at him but it only made him scowl deeper.

“Sigh. I'm sorry.” You sighed, knowing you can't escape this. “I had a lot of paperwork to do and I decided to stay late because tomorrow is my day off and I don't want to ruin it just because I left some works to do.”

“Tch. Dumbass.” Bakugou rubbed his temple. “You could've fucking answered my call. I was about to fucking go to your agency.” He added releasing a huge breath.

“I'm sorry, Katsuki.” You apologized.

Bakugou only shook his head, still annoyed that you worked late, but still soothed you. He grabs your work bag, along with your equipment, and places them inside the workplace area where his grenade gauntlets are.

“Go wash up. I’ll heat our dinner.” He said while walking up stairs way to both your room.

“Our?“ You asked curiously.

“I was waiting for you, idiot!”

“Love you too, babe!”

[p-redux]

PSA: to all the "just landed on the planet, don't know how showbiz works" Anons constantly sending me Asks about Sam and Eleanor having a romantic thing in real life because of the "flirting" they're doing on social media. STOP. You're being annoying AF. 🙄

Sam and Eleanor are engaging in PROMO to SELL their series, The Couple Next Door. Part of TCND involves Sam and Eleanor's FICTIONAL CHARACTERS getting hot and heavy with each other. Hence, the ACTORS are playing up that vibe and chemistry. Do they get along in real life and have become friends? It seems so. But that does not take away from the fact that ALL their current interactions are purposely done to PROMOTE their WORK.

The same way Sam and Caitriona Balfe SOLD the epic love story of Jamie and Claire on Outlander. Promo, sell, promo, sell, promo sell... because if actors don't promo and sell, they don't continue to work.

In addition, and as a reminder to the permanently clueless: the sex scenes are not improvised, and Sam and Eleanor happen to be alone in a bed with a camera with a self timer. Doh. Every word they are saying is literally written by a professional television writer. Every move they make is directed by the director. And they even had an intimacy coach for the sex scenes. So, she directed them also. Then, there are the lighting people standing there, the sound people standing there, the production people standing there, the camera people standing there, assorted other crew standing there LITERALLY watching them film the sex scenes. It may look sexy, but try fake fucking in front of at least 15 people and see how "sexy and real" it is. The ONLY reason it looks so hot is because Sam and Eleanor are great at their JOBS.

This is SO obvious, a child could understand it. I don't know why I have to explain such obvious things to GROWN WOMEN. Showbiz isn't real, folks. Actors literally get paid to tell fictional stories, "it's not real," and all that jazz.

Please figure out how life works and quit bugging me. Anymore dumbass questions about Sam and Eleanor and how "it can't just be to promote TCND, " and "Sam may steal Eleanor away from her husband" and you will be blocked. For the crime of being a supreme idiot. Sorry, the older I get, the less tolerance I have for morons. Don't be one. And we will be fine.

Can you tell I've been flooded with annoying Anons lately? 🙃

[cheetahsprints]

Lingyi fic rec list!

In case anyone floats into the tag and needs this. Personal and without review/explanation because brain too rotted. I just adore this tragically non-canon pairing almost as much as our main guys.

💌 trust my love - panpipe - E - Chapters: 1 - Jin Ling confesses his feelings, and Lan Jingyi has to muddle through the aftermath. (The aftermath is they're in love.)

🕊️ best friends forever - varnes - T - Chapters: 1 - Jin Ling and Jingyi get engaged. Things spiral from there.

⚔️ Can’t Keep Holding My Breath - singingintheshower48 - T - Chapters: 2 -  Two post-canon snippets about Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi enduring growing pains, enduring a war, and somehow finding their way together.

🔥 how can i find the words to say (love has surely shifted my way) - annadream - G - Chapters: 6 -  Jingyi’s steely eyes blazed brighter than the flames surrounding them and in that moment Jin Ling knew he was in love with this loud, obnoxious fool.

📱 the song stuck in my head - poefucker (drbubblegum) - E - Chapters: 7 - Waiting until his third year of college to finish off his last actual gen ed class is absolutely a mistake, and Jingyi proudly admits to it. Public speaking is an unfortunately necessary evil. Or: the juniors have that college experience like the movies show us.

🧞‍♂️ over, sideways, & under - poefucker (drbubblegum) - T - Chapters: 10 -  Jingyi goes nighthunting. It should be that simple. But somehow, after a fateful encounter with a rude, runaway boy and getting trapped in a cave, he's strongarmed into bringing disaster upon the whole of the cultivation world by summoning the infamous Yiling Laozu for unknown purposes. Except now he grants wishes and is actually really funny for an evil spirit. Weird.

🙇‍♂️could someone call a referee - poefucker (drbubblegum) - T - Chapters: 1 -  The one where they go to prom.

📦 all there’s left to do is run - poefucker (drbubblegum) - T - Chapters: 1 -  Lan Jingyi helps his professor move in with his husband. The day doesn't end up like he expected.

🐇 what must it be like to grow up that beautiful? - taetaeloveschimmy - Not Rated - Chapters: 6 -  Jin Ling is in love with Lan Jingyi and he's not exactly thrilled that he's finding this out about himself. Meanwhile, Jingyi is also grappling with his own emotions and complicated history with Jin Ling, leaving both of them unsure of where they stand with each other.

📑 A Guide to Dumbasses Getting Together - Midori_99 - T - Chapters: 5 - Lan Jingyi pines, in poetic melancholy fashion like a true Lan, bemoaning his fate of falling in love with someone as difficult as that Spoilt Mistress Jin. Too bad his love would forever be unrequited and there's no way Jin Ling would ever look at him that way! Lan Sizhui and Ouyang Zizhen would like to disagree. "Mission: Get an overworked Jin Ling to rest and an idiotic Lan Jingyi to stop pining and just confess already, commence!"

📝 Jin Ling’s Heart Is So Big Because It’s Full of Bad Poetry - corduroyserpent - G - Chapters: 1 -  If Jin Ling had learned anything about love in his sixteen years of being alive, it was this: love made people crazy. Sometimes love made you do things like write horrifically bad poetry. It happens!

💝 Oh no- Jiujiu!!! - You_know_yeah - M - Chapters: 1 -  Jin Ling takes a break and fucks off to the Cloud Recesses to "study". Jiang Wanyin follows with the threat of paperwork and leg breaking. All Jin Ling wants to do is kiss his boyfriend and chill :(

🦊 Chasing Gold - albsyant (transtobio) - T - Chapters: 9 -  Jin Ling expected this to be just a regular night hunt, but it didn’t even last a day before disaster struck.

Lan Jingyi, meanwhile, had no idea what to do with the fox that seemed determined to cuddle against him 24/7. What had done this to Jin Ling, and could he please get his prickly cru-friend back?

🌧️ bending the clouds - Jenki - G - Chapters: 1 - Jin Ling's father left him destined to become a leader of the earthbending sect but he didn't leave him his earthbending skills. On the other hand, his mother's waterbending talent was the reason for all of his problems. But he had learned how to isolate himself and hide his secrets and feelings from everyone.Until one day an airbender from Gusu discovered his secret and, with the help of his friends, began to do his best to make Jin Ling feel loved.

👨‍🏫 just because you’re an idiot doesn’t mean you can’t go to college - theinkquiry - T - Chapters: 1 -  “So Lan Jingyi asked you for help to get Professor Wei and Professor Lan together. Does… does he not realize they’re already married?”

“No.” Jin Ling rolled his eyes. “Because he’s an idiot.”

[redtippedfox]

You know what would be really funny is if I added in future!Marinette sitting by Emilies coffin in the past getting drunk off of wine. Talking shit about Gabriel while hella drunk. Like it’s her fifth day in the past and she’s kinda spiraling from realizing she’s stuck in the past.

“And then your dumbass husband decided “oh I’m gonna corrupt these powerful ancient gods and think I can control them!” What a moron!”

“Oh mother-in-law I wonder just how you married such a dumb idiot of a man.”

“Why the hell did he have to put you in a glass coffin like Snow White? Doesn’t he know that’s like fucking creepy?”

“Adrien misses you but he’s got some great new friends that love him like family, they all killed Gabriel but ya’know who doesn’t wanna kill Gabriel.”

“I’m thinking of drawing on his face while he’s sleeping, but like with a tattoo pen instead of sharpie.”

“I wanna kick his ass so bad but I can’t! Like why? Let me kick his ass! Stupid time travel rules.”

“I don’t think he’s noticed yet that I have stolen three of his finest wine bottles and drank them all. “

“And then he threw Adrien off a fu king skyscraper! A skyscraper! Your dumbass husband almost killed your son!”

“Gotta be honest Nathalie is kinda hot, I can see why you guys kept her around. I’d ditch Gabriel though we don’t need that stanky man ruining this family ya know?”

“…I need more wine.”