#dunno shes an unconventional gal

[nonomives]

Her name's Minnie (like the mouse)

As for her lore, shes a mad scientist basically. She has a weird ideology about science, considering it a form of art. A former researcher of the Fontaine Research Institute, she quit after she found hereelf misaligning with the way the institute handles itself. She now works as a freelancer that takes comissions on the go, her latest one being an offer given by Wriothesley regarding a particular secret project.

Her past is a little cloudy but she was once a member of high society, her mother a diplomat from Sumeru who settled in fontaine after marrying a noble from Fontaine. She's since been disowned by the family due to several complications. Not that she cares.

Whats her vision element? Geo? Anemo? Sike. Its Electro. Misdirection– its on the back of her jacket.

[ace-of-clubs-and-diamonds]

Aight.  This is a platonic love letter to @bisexual-horror-fan for her fic “The Man of My Dreams”!  I was going to wax poetically, but it sort of turned into an inelegant ramble, so here it is!

I really like Amber and Freddy’s romance.  Yeah, it’s unconventional and there’s a whole lot of fucking.  But they also clearly understand each other.  They’re a safe space for each other – no judgement, whether it’s about their personal lives coughcoughlikemurdercough or the kinky stuff they get up to.  And I think that’s really beautiful.  And kind of what everyone wants, right?  Someone who understands them and doesn’t judge them.

That’s probably why my favorite chapters were Chapter 35: Climax and Chapter 36: Afterglow.  I’m a total fucking romantic, and seeing them just talk about everything – what’s happened, their emotions, where they want their relationship to go (or not go).  I love that. I really felt for Amber.  I really felt for her anger.  I really felt for her absolute terror and grief about when she’d wake up to realize Freddy wasn’t back.  And I really felt for her fear about what would happen when she woke up this time.  I was so damn happy for these fuckers.

Also, I really liked the little moment where Freddy realized Amber had a tongue piercing.  I internally went, “Awwwww yeaaaaah!”

I totally envisioned an adorable, cutesy little café in Chapter 36.  Pastel colors and frills and stuff.  Not sure why, but I enjoyed the juxtaposition in my mind.  Anyways, Amber and Freddy are literal partners in crime now. They’re fuckin MURDER BUDDIES. And their banter!  Their banter.  I love it. I love the chatting, whether it’s totally casual or snarky or filled with innuendos.  I just love it.

Also, those final lines? “Again, who knows if it will last forever but that isn’t the point. The point is they are happy and that is enough.” I think that’s lovely.  I think that’s a sentiment one should hold onto in life, too.  Things don’t have to last forever – if you’re happy in the moment, then that’s enough. It’s worth it.

My favorite smutty chapters were definitely Chapter 13: The Hunt and Chapter 15: You Know You Love It. I love me some good predator/prey stuff, I love the crazy spooky shit Freddy can do with nightmares, I love the rough sex and the collar and leash.  Chapter 13 is just – MWAH – perfect.  And I was surprisingly into Chapter 15.  That one was loads of fun, and I’m weirdly fond of Nicky.  I dunno, I liked her fight and sass.

Other notes…

HOLY SHIT I WAS SO FUCKING SCARED THAT FREDDY WAS GOING TO ACTUALLY KILL JOSHUA.  I immediately liked Joshua.  He was totally fucking into it, took it in stride, and honestly massive kudos to him.  I was mentally begging Freddy not to kill him even harder than Amber was.

Nancy and Alice threw me for a goddamn loop.  All the college gals want Freddy, don’t they, huh?  Who am I to judge, I’m a college enby who wants Freddy.

The other slasher references threw me for a loop, too.  I mean, fuck, they weren’t even references, they were full-on name drops.  Loved it.  I can only imagine the shenanigans they get up to together.  Also which Ghostface is it?!?  Is it Billy and Stu?  Mickey? Roman?  Danny?  Someone else? Honestly I’m hoping Danny.

Another thing – I also really like the writing style.  I love how Amber talks to the reader.  It feels so personal and intimate, as if we’re sitting somewhere, talking quietly, our bodies slightly hunched over and our heads tipped as she shares her secrets.

Oh, also, one more thing. Bex, how fuckin dare you with that tag on my ask about finishing TMOMD.  That tag about telling me you love me.  I fuckin blushed in real life, dammit!  I am not used to casual affection.  But enough about me.

The Man of My Dreams was a fun, intense, filthy ride that I very much enjoyed.  10/10, will definitely read again.  Bex, you are the baddest of bitches and an inspiration.

[sleepyhollands]

Omg happy 1k!!! for Peter could I pls request a 🍂🍂🍂 with fluff prompt 32 from list 1?? Where the reader’s birthday is on thanksgiving and instead of a cake she blows out her candles on the turkey???🥺

“happy birthday to you~” came aunt may’s voice as she slowly carried the turkey to the table.

“happy birthday to you~” y/n heard peter sing next to her, his hold on her waist tightening as he smiled at his girlfriend.

“happy birthday, dear y/n~” may set the turkey down, the little flame dancing on the singular candle in the middle of the cooked bird.

“happy birthday to you!” y/n laughed at the sight before her. never had her birthday actually fallen on thanksgiving, and this was a pretty unconventional way to celebrate.

“make a wish!” peter encouraged.

y/n thought for a moment, then blew the candle out. peter and may cheered, and she laughed, hugging closer to her boyfriend.

“okay,” aunt may clasped her hands together, grinning at them, “let’s eat!”

later that night, y/n was cuddled into peter on the couch, letting him stroke the back of her head as they watched the mandalorian together.

“so,” he started, “what’d you wish for?”

y/n grinned lazily. “if i tell you, it won’t come true.”

peter acted hurt, only slightly tugging at her heartstrings. “but it’s me, you have to tell me, i’m you’re boyfriend.”

“hm, i dunno. do i want to risk losing my wish?”

“y/nnnn,” he groaned, and the girl laughed.

“okay, fine, but only because i can’t handle any more of your whining.”

peter continued to stoke his fingers along the back of her head, waiting for her to tell him.

“i wished for us to stay this happy for a really long time,” y/n said, pouting as peter’s hand halted it’s movement. instead, it fell to her cheek, thumb brushing the soft skin.

“i love you,” he muttered, pulling his girlfriend in for a sweet kiss.

y/n smiled into it, relishing in his warmth, thankful for being so lucky to have peter in her life.

taglist: @quaksonhehe @ho-ho-holland @definitely-not-black-cat @finelinesupremacy @darlingspidey @caswinchester2000 @jackiehollanderr @thereallcarmwn @nervousdadmode @amii-nyc @tomshufflepuff @solarxmoonchild @mimi-mashblog @kiwikrissi @starlight-starks @tonguetiedholland @young-romanoff @pterprkr @auggie2000 @voguesir @dummiesshort @perspectiveparker @tom-hlover @call-me-baby-gir1 @murphyswhore @parkers-gal @sarcasticallywitty15 @yourgoldengirls @multifandomlover121 @casualdreamerdreamer @1missglum1

[twitchesandstitches]

Eboni: Oh by Ylath, what happened to you Tiashar!?!? Suiha: Yeah we had the same reaction as you. Eboni: Are you okay? And where's Viomira? *Meanwhile Viomira has summoned a whole lot of undeads and is helping Nevnir chasing Edhitha down.*

“It’s cool, I’m fine,” Tiashar said, trying to look nonchalent, which is not easy when you are a head in a jar.

“You are not fine, you have been DECAPTITATED!” Eboni wailed.

Suiha hugged her. “Please calm down, your highness, it... doesn’t appear to pose her any short-term danger.”

“How!?” Eboni demanded. “She has quite literally lost her head!”

“Technically all I lost was my body,” Tiashar said meekly. “I’m kind of miffed about that, because that was one super hot body. I worked so hard on it...” She sniffled adorably.

At this point, though, the liquid shifted in her jar, flipping her upside down. She giggled. “Ooh, this is like one of those tidal waves at theme parks! Ooh, we should build one somewhere!”

Eboni thought about that; the hab was... weirdly expansive. Space did not seem to function normally within its depths, and many of the doors opened into impossibly wide open spaces. At least one opened onto a pleasant beachfront overlooking an endless sea of choice waves. The running guess was that either the hab contained many portals that opened up onto other realms or specific places within the material plane, or contained those places within itself somehow.

“We probably COULD build a water park in here,” she mused.

“Gawd, that’d be so good,” Tiashar purred. It was kind of a seductive tone, but only because she tended to speak like that without thinking about it; she’d once sweet-talked a fast food clerk. There had been incidents, a fire started, a riot ensued, and she’d been sworn to secrecy on what had happened then. (”But,” as she said later. “I got knocked up and I got my cheese sticks, so it worked out good.”)

Eboni shook her head. “Wait, what am I talking about! We need to focus!”

“Yeah, we need to use our heads on this one,” Tiashar chimed in.

Eboni frowned at her. “Did you make that pun on purpose?”

“Make what on purpose?”

“...Never mind.” Eboni thought; it was surely a joke. Surely. Tiashar’s expression remained mysterious. “Anyway. We gotta go get her body back!”

“My kiddo’s on that,” Tiashar said. “Her and my snuggle buddy Viomira. The gal with the undead? Now those are people with good heads on their shoulders!”

“...Please stop doing that.”

“Stop doing what?”

“The puns! They’re getting so bad.”

“What puns? Don’t lose your head over it, like I did!”

“Seriously, quit it!”

“Quit what? I’m just trying to keep us from panicking like chickens with their heads cut off.”

“It’s not even funny! It’s just annoying!”

“I dunno. Can’t be as annoying as your poor taste in puns. You should have already lost your head over that one!”

“Someone make her stop, please!”

------

Edhitha was backed against a wall. She looked at Tiashar’s body for aid, but unfortunately, it was now dancing in a corner, swayed by its own mysterious whims. “Okay, I know this looks bad, but I’m not really the bad guy here.”

Nevnir leaned out, her boobs splayed all over her windshield like a very unconventional boob rest. She frowned, her gigantic but rising high above her head in that pose. “Explain that, please.”

“...The laws of finders keepers. I found her body, now it’s mine?”

Viomira shook her head; she was an elf woman; her dark brown skin freckled. various yellow stylized tattoos glowing faintly with magical power, a long green coat heavily distorted by her massive hips and even more imposingly huge backside; it swept out behind her like a portable couch. Magical threads, invisibly, extended her will as a set of programs to the reason Edhitha had been cornered; a large crowd of undead soldiers. Most were skeletons, a few covered in lingering flesh, but all were heavily modified, some mechanically, but all with obvious magical transformations. Weapons, tending to the absurdly oversized, were held in every limb, and even replaced some.

Even they looked dubious at her claims. Viomira said, “That’s not a real law! Believe me, I checked!”

She snapped her fingers, and her undead surged forward... and ignored Edhitha, swooping under Tiashar’s body. IT was an enormous wait; her butt alone had more tons of flesh that you got an entire crowds of people. An impact from that butt would flatten trucks and demolish walls with a single tab of its wobbly, yielding goodness, so Viomir sent her very biggest minions, some made from bloodletter fiends and others from ogres and orcs. With effort, they managed to hoist her up.

“Go go go!” Nevnir cried. The undead tossed Tiashar’s body into the truck bed as they piled in, Viomira hopping into the side car. 

The truck-monster revved up, and took off. Edhitha watched them go, looking disappointed.

“Not even a little battle?” She sighed, picking up a single-edged, red and very ominous blade, and sheathing it. The blade rattled and forced its way back briefly, as if it didn’t want to be put away. “That makes me sad.”

[me-and-my-gaster]

For the ask game... I know you like Torrikor’s Siren(?) and I remember you did that really cool art of her one time, so could you do her maybe?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! My favorite humanswitch gal! Yes!

Ok, ok, calm down...

My favorite thing about Siren is that... she has layers? Hear me out.

She does some weird things, or maybe not weird but unconventional, and you get the feeling she always has a reason for everything. She doesn’t seem like a person to waste her time on small talk and keeps either to herself or to the closest people to her... but at the same time, she’s always up to a challenge and shenanigans, when it suits her. It’s hard to tell what’s going on in her noggin, to be honest, but that’s what makes her endearing and interesting. Gaining her trust is something that seems to be very valuable with how she carries herself, especially with her need for a company (that is intriguing). Or at least that’s how I read her in the story and that’s what I feel about her... She’s... like the ocean she loves so much? A lot of mystery under all the water, hidden somewhere but ready to be found if one knows what to look for. Both calm on the surface (but I wouldn’t want to anger her, ho boy) and full of colorful life deep down.

Least favorite thing is... and I don’t mean to sound rude or demanding... is that I have a mighty need for more content with her but there’s only as much as lovely Nyxie wrote so far. I love it. I really do. And I am grateful for every amazing word about Siren there is... but... I NEED MORE T_T

Favorite line:

“Twenty”

When she challenged the other condiments-drinking gals and chugged all the fucking bottle of barbecue sauce. This was the moment I knew she’s my fave humanswitch girl. It was a very surprising twist in the situation but also so in character I loved it!

brOTP for her... She and Ruby? They seem to get along quite well despite their tempers being different. I liked it very much when they spent time at the beach together - a place that Siren clearly likes, which to my brain meant that Ruby either picked it for her or agreed to.

Well, of fucking course I ship MYSELF with Siren as the OTP. Come ON.

I dunno about nOTPs... I guess I don’t have any because, in reader insert world, the ship possibilities are me, me and me? But I would say that for sure my nOTP would be any ship that Nyxie dislikes for their girl to be in.

Random headcanon... uh... um... *sweats* She likes the sound of rain? I mean... I love listening to thunderstorms and rain, it calms me down, and she likes the ocean so much, so I think it would fit her to like it too. It’s just this nice murmuring sound that isn’t distracting at all.

Ok, unpopular opinion is harder than a headcanon, to be honest. I really don’t??? I think she’s cute and I want to squish her soft cheeks, sue me.

With songs, it’s hard too. I do have a lot of feelings for this marvelous character but they range between powerful Umai - Shireen because it makes me think about power of nature and how it fits to her overall ocean theme and sweet Tinta - Oonagh because... it’s just happy and I want to see her happy. It’s weird, I know. 

Favorite picture... have you SEEN Nyxie’s art? I could gush about it all day. But I guess it would be this lovely headshot (the third one!). The lips are very cute, the cheeks look so round and soft, the scars only make her look more adorable, the skin tone is so warm and beautiful, the fluffy hair kills me and the big wonderful eyes are to die for. All of it is 

Answering the ask thingie here.

[princessknightt]

Y'know. If Ruby hasn't summoned Jinn(?). The leviathan (dunno how to spell it) would've gotten a little snack and everyone else would have totally gone into panic and rage mode

Ugh, true but Ruby has always had unconventional tactics. She’s a smart gal, and that move was honestly unexpected from a viewer’s perspective. 

[elderburn]

Ruby Rose Kisses (Almost) Every Girl RANKINGS

I haven’t seen this one yet so I’d like to resurrect this terribly underfed blog (sorry about that by the way) to list, in order, my favorite Rube Smooches- as written by @xekstrin. (This is just my personal opinion and does not reflect the opinion of Viz Media, Paramount Pictures, or any other corporation to which I have no relation. I’ll also announce that if you’re tired of this blog not producing (sorry,) you can always follow me on my normal blog, @gottalovethosecostcomuffins​, which has been known to reblog at least one thing per day. Maybe more. Let’s begin!

21. There are really that many of these? Goodness. I’ll be here awhile. The bottom of this list is BY NO MEANS the “worst” Ruby smooch, as if there could be such a thing, but something has to go here! Ciel starts us off this morning. I honestly pictured the obstacle course for MW2 for this piece. This also scratches my “Ciel is a tough, smol cookie” HC, which is nice, but it also mentioned suicides, which I hated, so there. Kiss rating: 7/10. Good on Ruple for being conscious of her own sweat. Simple soul confirmed.   

20. Neon. LOVED THIS. If there were any more scenes in V3 with Neon, this is how I would have pictured them going. Meg would have had far too much fun VA’ing these, though, so of course it could never happen. Bonus points for the use of “impish delight”, always a crowd pleaser and definitely appropriate.  Kiss rating: 6/10. ‘Mmmmmwah’ is my favorite smooch onomatopoeia, sure, but poor Rotunda was just so distraught. Can’t have that. Bonus points for (in my mind) secret domme Rubes and the implication that someone would be kneeling should this piece go any farther. Me like.

19. May Zedong. You may be thinking by now, “Hey. this guy is putting all the secondary/tertiary character smooches pretty low.” And you’d be right. But not because of that. Anywho. May joins Neon in the “Be playfully mean to my daughter” squad, but Rope-a-dope takes it in good fun. These two practicing together/bonding over weapon types was like the FIRST thing I thought of when we met May, and I love that May is having so much fun with it.  Kiss rating: 8/10. Kissing the bullet is such a cheeky thing to do, and the slightest possible whisp of gunplay has me goin’ like a drop of water on a dying man’s tongue. Bless.    18. Pyrrha. This one was so cute! I’m gonna go ahead and guess that Ruby decided that those dern Goliaths were just too tempting and decided to go big game hunting. Thus the broken leg, so far the only real injury she’s ever sustained (the_shade_of_it_all.gif) Pyrrha though, as usual, is a perfect god damned angel that this world does not deserve, and thus stands ready to keep her girlfriend safe and... otherwise entertained. Bonus points for pet JNPR rock, whose name I still want to know. Kiss rating: 9/10. There’s lots of em, which is always good for healing (something something transfer Aura). Cute as fuck. Would read again.

17. Weiss. The main team had to start somewhere, right? I like how this one frames the WR dynamic, which has always been one of my favorites, if not necessarily my favorite ship. Flustered Ruby will always get some points in my book. Just don’t be needlessly sharp with her T_T Kiss rating: 7.5/10. So close, but when compared to Pyrrha, Weiss is gonna need to step up her game. Though I don’t think Rubes had any problems with this one. A good kiss.  16. Coco & Velvet. A photoshoot is, of course, the perfect place for Ms. Adel, and the scenario to get Ruskie in one is perfect. Tall/ leggy Yang is my shiiiiiiiiit, so points there. Lots of detail on the shoot itself, which just makes me want to pull out MY camera again. Jerk. Overall a fantastic and well built piece. Like Yang’s legs. I’m not distracted, shut up.  Kiss rating: 10/10! First one of the set. Velvet and Coco both playing off Ruby’s flusteredness is my fav, which may or may not come up again on this list... but that’s for later. Bonus point for boo-boo kisses. 

15. Salem. Eughhhh. What an unsettling mental image this piece gave me, but at the same time, that’s fucking perfect. The eyes especially got me. Poor Rub.  Kiss rating: 6/10. This is more of a “Ha gotcha now you’re my corrupted mindslave” kiss. Black liquid was mentioned. My eyes kinda glazed over after that. Well fucking written, though. Goodness. 14. Reese. “Eaaaaaaat my shorts” has to be the best opening to a piece you’ve had in a long time, Kep. The ball keeps rolling from there. Yang somehow breaking the ice and setting up this little bet also tickles me pink. I guess you could say she was being an... enabler? To her weapon junky tendencies. Now she gets to take the weapons apart. Is what I mean. Not. You know. Shut up. Kiss rating: 9/10. She is Ruby god damned Rose and fuck if she is not getting a kiss you fucking fucks get out of her way

13. Amber. This one seems like the longest? I didn’t do a word count. But I like it. Poor Rutabaga. You hook up with a nice gal, you clock in to your bodyguard job the next day, there she is. Awkward. Did I mention she’s basically a god and now you have to protect her from all the shit that wants to kill her? No pressure. Still, Amber, being Amber, handles it perfectly. A nice fic on its own. Lots of fantastic internal dialogue and focus on thoughts. Which I love.  Kiss rating: 7/10. For this one, the kiss was but a small part. Still an important one, but smaller. This was such a fantastic piece that gave more to Amber as a character than Mile and Kerble could ever hope to give her. I wouldn’t mind a little prequel to this one, though... club hookups? Yes please.  12. Arslan. One of my favorite new characters. Aaaaand she’s gone. This one has so many of my favorite #JustXekstrinThings- you got tight, revealing clothing, you got Ruby noticing said clothing, Ruby short circuiting when girls in tight clothing touch her, “beforewards” and the ensuing mental battle over its status in the Oxford Dictionary... the list goes on. Fantastic.  Kiss rating. 9.5/10. This kiss has so much. The breathless “Y-yeah.” The “I’m warm cuz exercise, not gayness.” The forehead, mentor mentee thing. But something keeps it from a 10 for me. I dunno. Maybe I’ll come back to this one. Still excellent. 

11. Penny. Arguably one of my favorite Ruby pairings, and another one knocked out of the park in this set. Normal girl, normal knee things are my favorite with these two who, along with Ruby/Pyrrha, so desperately need to do normal girl, normal knee things. Cute. As. Fuck.  Kiss rating: 8/10: Again, this kiss is a passing thought, but for it to be so normal for them is what makes it beautiful. Did I mention I fucking love this ship? 10.  Winter. Hoo boy. Top ten. It’s gonna get a little more difficult here, but I’m taking my time, so I’m confident I’ll get these right. Pilot Ruby is something I didn’t know I needed in my life, but here it is. Winter being naturally apt with such things is a no-brainer, but I love that that became a mentor dynamic as well. Perfect characterization throughout. And just a dash of spice at the end- “I can teach you more... if you want.” I bet you could, Winter. I bet you could.         ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Kiss rating: 9/10. Keep your sticks under control, Roob. That’s an expensive ship. 

9. Neo. Alternative learning style Ruby has always been a thing for me, so what better way for her to learn than through the most unconventional methods possible? Neo yanking her sign language chain made me giggle. Then you turn around and slap me with an “oh shit someone’s fallin off a cliff” scenario. Rubrub to the rescue.  Kiss rating: 10/10! Ya gotcher adrenalin pumpin’, almost dyin’, arms slinkin’, shirt bundled in fist ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), height difference, full on smackeroo of a kiss. Perfection. Everything I could ever ask for.  8. Raven. Ohh-ho man. Do I love me some Ruby/Raven. Like Neo and Arslan, this one checks lots of boxes for me. Wall pinning. Desperate clawing. ANGST. Raven’s shirt unbuttoned? Y E S  P L E A S E. Still, I feel bad for Ruby in this one. I just want it to stop too sometimes.  Kiss rating: 7/10. A bit unclear in this one, but I liked it all the same. What ties into the kiss(es) are what make it so good. An excellent read.  7. Nora.  Another one of my favorite ships. Doesn’t get nearly enough love in my opinion, but hey, what can you do. This is weapon-nerd Ruby in her fucking PRIME, so major kudos there. She’s elbow deep in this muthafucka and Nora likes. I like all the little world-building details you’ve got here- gee, it’d be nice if we got those from someone who, say, wrote the show- as they really help explain certain mechanics of weaponry and Aura without having to, say, make a 3-8 minute video narrated by some creepy dude to explain them. Amazing stuff as always.  Kiss rating: 9/10. That it was brief was its only flaw. Established couple stuff is my jam, and this delivers. Love, love, love. Bonus points for the wink, Nora. I see you.  6. Numbers 4, 5 and 6 are probably the hardest for me, but I think I’ve got it pinned down. This one is Cinder. Arguably one of your best written ships overall. I like the dynamic you set up in this piece- anti-hero, is she the bad guy or not, and so on. “As always, Cinder was perfectly put together” is the perfect summary of the character- at least as written by you, imo- and the rest of the piece frames that so perfectly. I would gladly measure my music by her footsteps- so long as they were on my back, chest or face. Damn do I love this character.  (side note: Is this set in the Chained Rose universe? Cuz if so...)

Kiss rating: 10/10! You’ll probably see a few more of these as we reach the top. This one is double for your money- you’ve got Ruby being a little bold puppy, always a favorite; and it even comes with a side of feigned penitence. This is, of course, immediately punished. As it should be. Bad Ruby.   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

5. Emerald. This is one of those fics that just makes you go, “Aaahhh.” Not in the screamy way. In the “I’m home” kind of way. I love all the little domestic touches. Her wife. Calling in sick. Let’s buy a house. Talkin about jobs. It’s perfect. Poor Em- I hope she works through her issues. She’s got a good helper.  Kiss rating: 8/10. As the rest of it, this one is perfectly domestic. A nice hand kiss. What a sweetheart. Points to Ruby for taking initiative. 

4. Blake. I really miss Beacon as a setting. While the whole high school anime thing can only take you so far, I do love me some dorm room snuggles, and boy does this scratch that itch. All my Ladybug boxes are checked off here. I would read 200k words of this. at $.03 a word... let’s not do that math.  Kiss rating: 10/10! Blake is opening up. Her mouth. Get it, Ru. 

3. Glynda. I am heeeere for this pairing. Of course Glynda can always find the nearest office space within a few miles to make her home. And of course Ruby can find it’s window to languorously hang off of. I love the dialogue here! Probably some of my favorite out of this whole list. What a fantastic piece. Kiss rating: 11/10!! There are so many!! There’s your hello kiss, your return mid dialogue kiss, your on your knees kiss pepperings. Glynda, as always, is completely down for this. Bravo. 2. Yang. You knew it was coming. And boy oh boy did it come. Heh. This is written in what I called the Style of the Strained Master- all of your Ruby/Yang fics have this feel to it, and it makes them amazing. Ruby is always thiiiis close to destroying herself, Yang, and everything around her, at any given time. Because she’s so. Fucking. Ready. This makes me happy. This waters my crops, feeds my children, eases my aches and pains. This puts a man on the moon and music in my soul. This is everything.  Kiss rating: There isn’t even a fucking kiss but you know damn well it’s getting a 10/10

1. The Sisters Malachite. Sound the trumpets! We have our champion! This was a struggle to decide. But this- and I know I’ve said this a couple times now- checks all. The. Boxes. Ruby being difficult. Ruby can’t do numbers. Weiss, help me. I have a number fixation and it’s making it really difficult to be the fuckin’ mack daddy that I know I am deep inside. Ruby has fucked up now. Now you fucked up. It has begun. Double teaming. Vainly struggling. There is no hope for you, child. Your clothes are ours. Have some cleavage, it’ll make up for the last three meals you’ve skipped. Except it wont. How bout we just fuck you instead. K? K.  Kiss rating:   ∞/10. I mean, there’s two of them, and they’ve got pretty decent stamina... There’s nothing here saying they couldn’t just go on forever. Poor Rubiks has a looooooot of stress to work out....  What. A. Ride. I spent the better part of two hours writing this out, and re-read all the pieces a few times a piece to get things down just the way I like it. Is this full of grammatical errors? Probably. Do I care at this point? Nah. Thank you again, Krissy, for writing this, and everything you write. You put in a lot of time for us nerds, that you really wouldn’t have to if you didn’t want to. And we appreciate the fuck out of that. Keep on keepin on.