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#dysfunctional household
witchyykitten · 1 year
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everyone talks about cutting off a toxic parent
but no one ever talks about the pain of wanting a parent but knowing yours cannot love you the way they should
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nothing0fnothing · 5 months
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hey I have some lived experience personal care advice I had to learn the hard way in my adulthood after growing up with abusive neglectful narcissistic parents. Maybe it will help someone else.
The most important room in your house to be clean is your kitchen. If you only have a few spoons and a whole house of mess, spend them on getting your kitchen clean, hygienic and tidy enough to be usable.
spending money on things that last longer or work better isn't a waste of money. You don't have to use the cheapest of everything because spending is bad work out what YOU think is worth splurging on.
Always buy the best shoes you can afford. Taking care of your feet is so important for your health. If you're afab the same goes for underwear, buying one pack of good quality, good fitting cotton breathable underwear will save you so much money on feminine care supplies if you get what I'm saying.
Get your feet measured in a shoe store. Especially if you're over 25 your feet will have grown since you were 18. I spent years thinking my body was wrong because my feet ALWAYS hurt. My girlfriend suggested we measure them and I realised I was in shoes two sizes too small. For years!! I didn't even know shoes were supposed to have space in them.
a cheap bottle of washing up liquid (dish soap) costs like £1 and can be used on basically every surface. Clean your counters, toilet, sinks, bathtub or shower, oven and hob with a scrub daddy and some cheap washing up liquid. It doesn't react with other chemicals and it cleans deeply and easily. I even use it on the inside of the shower glass where it collects that crusty water residue.
When bathing with an unscented bar soap everywhere first. Then wash a second time with your scented soap. The scented liquid soap isn't designed to clean you it's designed to make you smell beautiful.
Don't use scented soaps on your kitty. Don't use femfresh or other feminine washes on your kitty. Don't use feminine wipes on your kitty. You use your unscented bar soap you use on the rest of your bodh on your kitty once a day. That's all it needs.
You don't need sewing skills to mend things. A £5 sewing kit you keep somewhere in your house and maybe a 2 minute YouTube tutorial is all you need to fix holes in your clothes and make them last longer.
Cereal for breakfast is quick and convenient but aim to eat protein for your first meal. Things like eggs, meat, a protein shake, Greek yogurt. You'll feel fuller for longer and your body will appreciate it.
most things don't need to be ironed. For the things that need creases out a steamer is better for the fibres and easier to use. Simply hang up the item and hold the steamer against the creases.
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magnetothemagnificent · 6 months
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A reminder for anyone (including myself) who might need it:
In order to break the cycle of dysfunctional immediate families, you need cooperation with your family. It's not on you alone.
If there's a toxic cycle of broken parent-child relationships, it's not your job to maintain a harmful relationship with your parent/s to "break the cycle".
If there's a toxic cycle of broken sibling relationships, it's not your job to maintain a harmful relationship with your sibling/s to "break the cycle".
You need more than one person to heal interfamilial estrangement and dysfunction. It's not on you alone. If your parent/s or sibling/s don't also put in an effort to break the cycle, it won't be broken.
Taking on the burden all on your own won't fix anything and will just lead to more hurt.
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aphrodites-serenade · 10 months
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Like Father, Like Daughter
When I look into the cracked mirror, I see the remnants of you. I hate how my nose is exactly like yours. I hope I can get it fixed one day. Your sister once said I had your eyes. You don't know how much I wished I could gouge them out. But you don't exist only on my face. I can feel it in my bones, and oh, they're too heavy for a girl. I hear it in my voice, and I speak as if I'm you. I run away from my problems, just like how you did years ago. Sometimes, I pretend they don't exist. You knew how to do that so well. Who was it that said that I was too loud? Did they not know it was the only way we communicated? Each time I stand in front of this mirror, I realize that I've become terribly lonely. My father never knew how to love, and I, who always messes up, know that too well. And I hate it, I truly hate it. I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I repeat. But like father, like daughter goes the proverb… right?
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amaryllis-astra · 1 year
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Eldest Daughter Gothic
Your youngest sibling is in tears. You do not know why. Is it your fault? 
You are doing the dishes. You are always doing the dishes. You never finish. 
She loves you. She hates you. You’re her favorite. She only cares about your siblings. She never wanted to be a mother. She loves you.
You have a headache. Again. You are starting to forget what it feels like not to have a headache.
Everything is too much. You are going to shatter. But you cannot. 
If you give out, so will everything else
She is angry, ranting about something you said. You do not remember the last time you spoke. She is still angry.
Your younger sibling is ten years old. No, that can't be right. You are ten years old. They must still be an infant. But they’re graduating fifth grade now, and you realize that you are in high school. You did not notice the change.
She keeps yelling. You wonder if she is yelling at herself.
You’ve heard that 3am is meant to be unnerving. For you, it has only ever meant the comfort of being the last one left awake. Is there something wrong with you?
This is all you have ever known, so why does it feel so wrong?
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family-trauma · 1 year
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I really wish I can put a distance between myself and all the mentally, physically and emotionally draining things and people this coming new year. I really hope 2023 will show me some empathy and allow me to live for once. That's my Christmas and New Year's wish.
What do you all wish or hope for?
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Deep down I wanna be worse because I deserve it... I don't wanna be happy, safe, or loved. They are such alienated feelings to me... I deserve to live a life full of misery, because I am evil.
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zippyzstuff · 1 year
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followthevirus · 4 months
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🎵 So outside my misery
I think I'll find
A way of envisioning a better life
For the rest of us...
For the rest of us... 🎵
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tragedy--enjoyer · 25 days
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"my child is completely fine" you child's favourite ao3 tag is domestic fluff
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witchyykitten · 11 months
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nothing0fnothing · 6 months
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The number of times I've caught myself in the middle of telling myself how worthless, unlovable, dislikable and embarrassing I am is too many. It's almost every day.
And sometimes I correct myself and say "I am not unlovable" "I am allowed to make mistakes" "I have grown and changed since then."
Sometimes, I just wallow in the shame.
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clouded-star · 1 year
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i think dysfunctional child/parent relationships hurt so much because its like. you were supposed to love me unconditionally. and you couldn't do that. so how could anyone else love me?
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pain-is-my-game · 1 year
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I'm daily reminded of how my mother's love is not unconditional but it still hurts knowing that she'll never love me in any way that matters.
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kharbriki · 2 months
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"learn to forgive your parents, it is also their first time being a parent" okay? how to when my dad just yelled at my mom during an argument saying that we (me and my 7 yo sister) are someone else's kid and that my mom got us from somewhere in front of me??
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