#dysfunctional parents

[witchyykitten]

everyone talks about cutting off a toxic parent

but no one ever talks about the pain of wanting a parent but knowing yours cannot love you the way they should

[aphrodites-serenade]

Like Father, Like Daughter

When I look into the cracked mirror, I see the remnants of you. I hate how my nose is exactly like yours. I hope I can get it fixed one day. Your sister once said I had your eyes. You don't know how much I wished I could gouge them out. But you don't exist only on my face. I can feel it in my bones, and oh, they're too heavy for a girl. I hear it in my voice, and I speak as if I'm you. I run away from my problems, just like how you did years ago. Sometimes, I pretend they don't exist. You knew how to do that so well. Who was it that said that I was too loud? Did they not know it was the only way we communicated? Each time I stand in front of this mirror, I realize that I've become terribly lonely. My father never knew how to love, and I, who always messes up, know that too well. And I hate it, I truly hate it. I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I repeat. But like father, like daughter goes the proverb… right?

[safe-haven-safe-place]

[family-trauma]

I really wish I can put a distance between myself and all the mentally, physically and emotionally draining things and people this coming new year. I really hope 2023 will show me some empathy and allow me to live for once. That's my Christmas and New Year's wish.

What do you all wish or hope for?

[connieaaa]

I remember being 17 and working at a retirement community. I made a casual comment to an 84 year old man about his ADHD.

He replied a very confused, "What?"

Me: "ADHD, it used to be called hyperkinesis back in the day." *proceeds to explain ADHD*

Him: *in shock nearly crying* "There is a name for it? I always thought I was broken"

Variations of this scene have played out for me again, and again, and again. The last time was less than 10 days ago.

Quirky kids who declare that they are just like me. Parents of Autistic kids in shock that I can have a "normal" conversation but still occasionally head bang in frustration. Explaining a specific learning disability, and having someone shout "That's a thing?! I was told I was stupid".

This is what I think about when I hear Semler's Thank God For That lyrics, "Hallelujah, we are all fucking weird, and there is a place for you at the table, honey, here."

[hauntedbythenarrative]

I am the shape you made me.

Filth teaches filth.

Salt, Nayyirah Waheed//Sharp Objects, Gillian Flynn//Elektra, Sophocles//House of the Dragon (2022-)

[zippyzstuff]

[nothing0fnothing]

Being the oldest sibling in a dysfunctional family dynamic is it's own experience not gonna lie.

Like imagine being 9 years old and you're trying to comfort your little siblings, so you start repeating all the "he loves you he just has a bad temper" "you just need to behave better because you know how he gets" lines you been told all your life, but you realise in that moment that it is utter bullshit.

That you're looking at a kid who doesn't even know how to spell their name yet, and you're telling them that they need to be responsible for the behaviour of a grown adult man.

And you realise that every other person who has had this conversation with you was an adult who was totally comfortable to do that.

[struggling-to-find-home]

Never underestimate the way an abusive parent can kill the vibes

[belong2human-kind]

I hate alcohol. I hate so so much. It has destroyed my whole life. It takes everything I love away from me. I'd rather die than to watch happening again, but I can't run: this drug is everywhere. I can't handle losing another one to this

[x4ver1a]

[witchyykitten]

[aceing-on-the-cake]

CW: Religious Trauma, Disowned by Parents, Familial Abuse(disownment), SI mention, generalized angsty rant

I go through life a lot not thinking about the fact that like I've gotta form an entire support network from the ground up because of being raised in a cult. Like most people when they get kicked out from their house for being queer they have *some people*. Maybe it's extended family, aunts, uncles, grandparents. Maybe it's like a friend group. Maybe it's the friend's parents who are like your surrogate parents already. I don't know. But it's someone. They have people. They have base connections already with which they can make more off of.

But I just, don't.

I left a cult and lost every parent. I lost every sibling. I lost every surrogate aunt, uncle, and grandparent because I already didn't have actual extended family. I lost every friend I'd ever had. I. Lost. Every. Person. I. Knew.

And yeah, you can make more. That's the beautiful thing about humans, they grow and they heal no matter where you put them.

But it takes time, and that's time spent floundering around in my early twenties making stupid mistakes that cost me a lot because I don't have the parents to bounce things off of. That means trying to make friends and coming up with a total of 1 or 2 because all the normal times people made friends, school, college, etc, I was in, a fucking cult.

And like, I keep going. I live by a fuck it you thought I'd off myself out here and so I refuse to ever do so even when I was literally alone. I am out here pulling myself forward inch by inch with coffin-fucking-bloody hands (TM Berklie Novak-Stolz) and I move on and I live and I forget and it doesn't come up every single day of my life that I'm alone, even now, I'm so more alone than a human is supposed to be. I am making a found family but that cannot replace the grandparents I am supposed to know, the aunts and uncles I am supposed to be able to connect to, the parents I am supposed to be able to turn to. It helps, god does it fucking help, but you can't replace those things. And if you can, I have not figured out how.

[clouded-star]

i think dysfunctional child/parent relationships hurt so much because its like. you were supposed to love me unconditionally. and you couldn't do that. so how could anyone else love me?

[family-trauma]

Lately I've been getting angry at the people who manipulate and emotionally abuse me. I kept wondering who is this person? I'm never usually angry, so it was a very foreign concept for me to accept. However I now realize that it's okay to be angry, as it's an emotion caused by my surroundings.

[connieaaa]

Family is who shows up.