I don't think I've ever struggled to eat a full box of mac and cheese before. The cake shake expanded so fast, making my belly feel heavy and bloated even before the first bite. It's making me so h*rny, stuffing my face with creamy, buttery pasta when I already feel so full. I can't stop. I need it. I'm so fucking fat, and I need every gut swelling calorie. 🐽💦
I love going to my girlfriend's house -- because we just get stoned/drunk and then spending the entire night cooking for each other and gorging ourselves. We made homemade Philly Cheesesteaks and a huge tray of waffle fries, then guacamole which we ate with an entire bag of chips, THEN brownies with ice cream. I feel huge.
Howdy: “alright Wally. Do not make me regret this you hear me! Sense it is your birthday today….”
He sighs and opens a door in the back of the store. There are boxes and boxes and boxes filled with apples. Wally locks up with a small gasp. His eyes open up wide and his pupils grow so big they nearly take up all of the whites of his eyes.
Howdy: “oh gosh….oh no”
She starts backing away slowly as Wally starts to seriously make a sort of growling noise. He just has no idea how to express how happy he is. He quickly dashed inside and the sounds of frenzied munching sounds comes from inside.
Howdy: “……please don’t make yourself throw up….scary little creature”
Every once in a while I'll be drinking a pop at work and then I'll remember that part of the advice my mother gave me before my job interview was "never, ever drink pop or anything but water in front of your co-workers." Which was really stupid advice that I did not follow, but also a great reminder that my mother really is disgusted by pretty much everything I do, which is always phrased in the form of "well, of course it doesn't bother me, but other people are judging you!" Just a fun thing to think about during lunch.
Nothing like a nice fast food meal to make a piggy's belly really pop - along with some buttons, evidently. Two cheese burgers, cheese fries, a grilled cheese, and soda sure plumped me up, and I still had a milkshake to finish. 🐷
I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
Video game I saw in a dream. It was in this low poly style like an older video game. You play as this character I think was meant to be a lamb, or maybe a weird mix of a lamb a mouse and a rabbit, (while not really looking like any of those things) and you’re running away from a wolf. Your objective is to last as long as possible before the wolf catches and eats you.
The house you’re running in is endless and bizarrely put together like most building interiors in dreams are (like the infinite toilet dream dimension on Reddit lol) the layout of the house is pretty detailed, you can stop and hide in places like closets or bins while the wolf looks for you, you can go up and down stairs and into rooms etc.
You never actually know where the wolf is or how close it is to you until it appears in your line of sight, it makes no noise and the game gives you no way of knowing where it is, and it’s pretty unpredictable it doesnt move at a consistent pace. When the wolf catches you there’s an animation showing it eating your character
probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.