#edit: I didn't like some phrasing in places but whatever

[jayflrt]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 19. attention seeker

welcome to the second act. warnings for this chapter include depictions of alcoholism and family issues

'BEING AN INFLUENCER WAS A REAL JOB THAT REQUIRED A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF WORK.'

Yeah, right.

Shin Yuna heard phrases along those lines all the time. Whenever she watched other people's content, a good majority of the influencers would rant about how difficult their life was, or how stressful their workload was when it came to recording and editing.

Sure, it took some effort to edit and upload new content. Yuna allocated several hours a week to do so, but all she had to do was set up a livestream for the cash to start rolling in. Wear something skimpy. Bat her lashes at the camera. Pout a little. Play up the damsel in distress act. It was simply too easy.

princessval***: omg girl pls stop drinking 😭 onlyyuna03: she's so messy i love her luvyuna***: you're back already? i thought you were taking a break onlyyuna03: @luvyuna*** you must be new LOL she always does this

But this—the flood of comments that poisoned her screen—was the curse of putting herself on the internet.

It wasn't like this during her first year of streaming. Back in high school, Yuna's parents were fighting every day, and since she didn't have any friends to talk to, she turned to the internet. She would stay up all night in random Discord servers, chatting with strangers and confiding in them about her family issues.

Naturally, these chats turned into voice calls, which later turned into video calls. Initiated by her, of course. No one else had their cameras on, though; Yuna quickly grew comfortable being in the spotlight, basking in the glow of praise from strangers. Comments like 'you're so gorgeous' and 'you should be a model' made her forget all about her family issues for a split second. Like that, it became like a drug for her.

Yuna, who was starved of attention, relished in the validation she got from online strangers. Strangers who wouldn't even share any personal information about themselves, going by fake names and hiding how old they were.

Soon after, she made her own Discord server, inviting everyone who wanted to see her get in front of her camera and talk about her day. She knew how to play her angles well, acting as if she was everyone's girlfriend while using them to satisfy her need for attention. It was a classic marketing strategy: Yuna knew her asset was her beauty, so she used it to her advantage.

All she had to do was send a picture of herself or talk in a cute voice, and everyone would fawn over her in seconds. In a life where Yuna's own parents neglected her, she found people who cared. Maybe their intentions weren't in the right place, but they were present and ready to listen to whatever she had to say.

She got ambitious, deciding to start live-streaming to a wider audience. Yuna started on Twitch, playing various games like Overwatch and League of Legends. She didn't have to be very good as long as people liked her face and stayed for her reactions.

As she grew a following, she moved to YouTube and TikTok, doubling her follower count in only months. Before, she would be talking to an audience of around 20 people, but now she was racking in thousands as soon as she went live.

Of course, there came drama, too. And Yuna found it exhilarating.

If someone called her out on something, all she had to do was come up with some sob story about how she didn't deserve to hear that, and everyone would come with pitchforks to defend her. She was very calculative in that way, knowing exactly when and how to turn the tide if it wasn't in her favor.

For some reason, that never seemed to work with her parents.

"You're a disappointment," her father spat at her the day she showed him her Yale acceptance letter. She had sparkles in her eyes and a bright smile all day, only for her to feel completely crushed. She couldn't understand why; it was her father's dream for her to get into Yale, after all. "This is the only acceptance letter you've got, huh?"

Yuna hesitated. The competition for all of the Ivy League schools was rough this year; she had been getting rejections left and right, but she thought her family would be satisfied with Yale. After all, it was her father's alma mater.

"Yeah," she answered in a small voice. She looked down at her acrylic-damaged nails, neglected from years of biting the skin until they bled. "I thought you'd be happy with Yale."

"Happy?" Mr. Shin barked out a laugh. "You didn't actually get into Yale on your own, you know that, right?" He scoffed when Yuna gave him a confused look. Then, Mr. Shin slammed his phone against the dinner table, causing his wife and daughter to flinch. "Five hundred thousand. I paid five hundred thousand to get you in. Mr. Nakamura only paid two to get Kazuha in, but I had to pay five. That's how useless you are."

"Sunoo? You know my old boss's son?" he would provoke her for the rest of dinner. "He got in all by himself. You know Hyejin's son—Anton—he got into Yale and Brown on his own, too."

"You need to work hard, Yuna," Mrs. Shin said before stabbing at her salad. "Your dad could only get you in as an undeclared major. You need to get into pre-med on your own."

Tears prickled her eyes, but she stayed silent. Even her college acceptance was a fraud; she had done nothing out of her own hard work.

Except her skyrocketing career as an influencer.

The high of her fame only lasted a short while, though. During the summer before her freshman year of college, Yuna's parents discovered what she had been getting up to on the internet.

Shameful, they called it, as if Yuna was committing a crime.

Yuna's parents were surgeons, and rather good ones at that. They both got their undergraduate degrees at Stanford, and then their doctorates at Harvard. The two of them became neurosurgeons after their residency and board exams, and then transferred to Mercy Health where Mr. Shin became the Chair of Neurological Surgery, which set the bar a little high for Yuna.

She was never spectacular. She was always more interested in makeup and clothes instead of science and medicine. Yuna would've rather worked toward a career as a fashion designer, often dreaming about fashion shows she could design for. She knew she would make it far, too—even Donatella Versace told her backstage during Paris Fashion Week that she had an eye for fashion, and that she could go far.

The few times she visited your house, she remembered meeting your mom, a well-known fashion designer herself, and showing off her sketches. Yuna distinctly recalled her words of approval, and she had to bite her tongue whenever your mom would offer to take Yuna on a tour of her studio, only for her parents to turn down the offer.

Her parents were so adamant about Yuna following their path to becoming a surgeon that they threw away all of her sketchbooks and colored pencils when she showed them her work. Even when she got the opportunity of a lifetime to be taken under Vivienne Westwood's wing, her parents crushed her dreams under their heels.

From a young age, she knew that hard work was only determined by her parents. Her true efforts were simply considered a waste of time.

Naturally, Yuna let out all her emotions when she live-streamed. It just so happened that her parents found out through the families of people who knew her. First, she would be grounded. When that wouldn't work, she would get all of her devices taken away. When she found a loophole around that, she would have to endure her father's rage.

Halfway through her first year at Yale, her parents disowned her.

She was on academic probation after her first semester. While she was trying to file a restraining order against someone who was stalking her (who claimed to be a fan), her grades managed to slip until she failed most of her classes. The worst part was, she had been expecting her parents to worry about the stalking incident, but they only cared about her GPA. Casting Yuna away was just protecting the Shin family's shiny status.

Everything was gone. Yuna was no longer part of the world you and Sunoo lived in. All her connections to the medical field, all her connections to the fashion industry—all out of her grasp. Still, maybe it was her flickering hope to somehow please her parents that kept her on the path to become a doctor. Not that it something she was genuinely interested in, but she knew it was the only way her parents would take her back.

Now she had to keep up her influencer career to support herself financially. There was no way she would be able to pay off tuition, even if Sunoo had generously paid the deposit for her small apartment. She had to keep up with bills, rent, and utilities all at once, and it was all too much for an eighteen-year-old to handle.

She got used to accepting help because of that. You helped foot some of her bills, Sunoo helped with tuition, Anton helped make sure she was eating, and the money she got from streaming and posting videos was enough to cover the rest of her expenses.

Even with an outlet to express her concerns to her fans, though, Yuna was struggling with barely making friends. You, Sunoo, and Anton were the only ones who lent a shoulder and an ear for her to dump all her pain and worries to. But she still had to hold them at arm's length. After all, all of their upper-crust families were in close contact with each other.

And then there was Lee Heeseung.

He was a new face in the socialite scene. No one had heard of him or his family before. Heeseung was probably Yuna's ideal type—handsome, intelligent, popular, and someone who hadn't been sucked into her world yet. Although he was alledgedly close to you and Park Sunghoon, no one else had any idea of what his family did.

Over the years, Yuna was terrified that she had built a reputation among the rich families that were in her circle. She could feel the disdain in their eyes when she was at social events, steering clear of every adult that looked as though they wanted to probe her for information about her college admissions.

Heeseung, however, was like a breath of fresh air. There was no judgment in his eyes when Yuna spoke to him, and that might have been the very moment she fell for him.

He was different. He didn't have any expectations of her nor did he feel uncomfortable when he found out she was a streamer. She liked that he came from a humble background, and he never judged her from where she came from. Even when Yuna confessed that she had been disowned, Heeseung never looked at her with pity in his eyes. He simply told her that he would be there if she ever needed him, and he left it at that.

She tried her best to get close to him, but the closer Yuna got, the more she saw under the surface—the more she realized she was heading toward heartbreak. It was clear as day that Heeseung was deeply in love with you, and it seemed as though he had no intention of considering any other woman. Even Yuna could tell he would give up everything in a heartbeat for your sake.

Yuna did her best to avoid conversations about Heeseung with you. She figured that if they never brought him up, then you wouldn't start to feel differently about him.

To her relief, you started dating Park Sunghoon.

Yuna used Heeseung's vulnerability to her advantage. As much as she liked him, he was a coward when it came to his own feelings; Heeseung could only bring himself to come clean about how he felt for you after you started dating another man. Of course, he was turned down—ignored, even. In your mind, you just wanted to keep up the fantasy of having a close childhood friend to the point where you had Heeseung bottle up everything he felt.

Yuna thought you were cruel back then, but she was even more so.

She knew that Heeseung couldn't do anything about his feelings no matter how much it ate at him, so Yuna pretended she wanted to listen to him go on and on about how miserable he was. It was all because of you, and, for a period of time, Yuna despised you for it.

Months rolled by, and Yuna found herself going over to Heeseung's dorm room nearly every day. They talked about anything and everything, and then the conversation would eventually shift to you. Yuna felt something chip at her heart every time he mentioned your name, but she braved through it all.

"Thanks for coming over," Heeseung murmured, running a hand through his already-messy hair. Yuna could smell the alcohol on his breath when she sat down next to him on the floor. Heeseung laughed. "One-month anniversary. Y/N always told me she found those stupid."

Yuna pressed her lips into a thin line. She remembered walking to class with you last week and hearing you gush about everything you bought Sunghoon for your one-month anniversary as a couple. She thought it was sweet back then, but hearing it come from Heeseung made Yuna feel sick.

"You don't have to thank me," she said, hugging her knees to her chest. "I just wanted to be here for you."

The first time she tried to kiss Heeseung was that night.

The first time Heeseung rejected her was right after he stopped her.

"I can't," he said at the time, drawing away from her. "I'm sorry, it's just—"

"You're not over Y/N," she finished for him with a twinge of bitterness.

He shook his head, saying nothing. Yuna felt a surge of misdirected anger.

Yuna knew from the moment she met you that people like you were the shiny gold coins that everyone wanted to have, and people like her were rusted-over pennies on the sidewalk to be stepped on and forgotten. She was a fool to think that Heeseung would see past that.

"I know that." Her tone was sharp as she got to her feet, and Heeseung followed suit right after. "But I suggest you get over her soon because it's not gonna happen."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said. Y/N would never go out with you. She already turned you down, anyway."

"Is that so?"

When Yuna turned around to look at Heeseung, his expression was like stone. Something ugly was twisting its way around her heart, squeezing out every semblance of affection she ever had for you.

"Yeah," she replied with a simpering smile, "because she's just too nice to choose the guy who broke her friend's heart."

"Broke—?"

"And," she said louder, cutting him off, "Sunghoon doesn't know, does he? Wouldn't he feel really betrayed if he found out?"

Heeseung kept his face impassive, but Yuna could tell he was seething. She cornered him quite well.

She kept that farce up for years. It was easy keeping Heeseung in line when you only had eyes for Sunghoon, and Heeseung was just so easily discouraged by Yuna's words. It was almost like he had no hope that you would take his word over hers, and that sent Yuna on some sort of power trip.

Her relationship with you was strange. Maybe it was at that moment when she realized that she was someone important to you, and that made her feel invincible somehow. She could do anything as long as you were on her side.

She liked drinking. Not because she particularly liked the taste of alcohol, but she loved the feeling of forgetting all her responsibilities. Every rotten memory of her parents would bury itself under the sand for the time being, and all she could feel was adrenaline pumping through her blood.

But she was never exactly in control. It only took a year to slip up in front of her friend group (thankfully when you weren't around), so she begged Karina, Yeonjun, and Giselle to keep quiet about her crush on Heeseung. They weren't even extremely close at the time, but they knew better than to tread on a situation between you and Sunghoon, whose parents were far more influential than theirs.

"It's only gonna cause more problems if she finds out," Yuna told them through choked sobs. "If Y/N finds out, things will never be the same between us, and Sunghoon doesn't even know that Heeseung has feelings for Y/N." As Giselle stroked her hair gently, Yuna said, "I can get over him on my own. Just please keep this from Y/N."

Karina and Yeonjun exchanged nervous looks before they reluctantly agreed. She had always been wary about Karina. Giselle was overly-empathetic to her situation, Yeonjun was a good listener because he thrived off of drama, but Karina had always seemed more skeptical.

And, as Heeseung knew, Yuna always found a way to silence people who she felt she couldn't trust, so she played dumb when she outed Karina on live.

It was a stupid move on her part, to be fair. Yuna deeply regretted it as soon as she realized what she said. Karina iced her out for months, and everyone else was on the colder side—even Sunoo, who had been her close friend for so long. She always felt strangely jealous of Sunoo, who got the approval of her father when she couldn't, but seeing him give her the cold shoulder nearly sent her over the edge.

"I apologized so many times!" she cried to him. Sunoo kept his guard up, but he always heard her out when she needed him. "I just don't know what else to do. I keep fucking up."

Sunoo frowned. "Do you even feel bad about what you did, or do you feel bad because you were caught?"

Yuna didn't respond to his question, but she knew exactly what the answer was. Was she pathetic? Probably.

She ruined everything. She always ruined everything.

Maybe it was just easier that way. Yuna knew that if she tried her best to please everyone, it would still never be enough. Hurting them before she cared too much was just a defense mechanism, as selfish as it sounded. If you chopped down the tree before it grew too tall, it wouldn't hinder the plants under its shade from growing.

The thing was, Yuna received blow after blow all her life without any acts of mercy. She was struck over and over again, and no one delivered the final coup de grâce.

Naturally, Karina came around and forgave her. Another missed blow. It was like Yuna was drunk off the drama itself because if she kept acting out and causing all these problems, then she could keep everyone's attention on her.

And then she wouldn't have to be so alone.

But the cycle went on and on, so when Yuna found herself texting Jay and Sunghoon in her drunken stupor, she hardly considered the consequences when she mentioned the long-kept secret of Heeseung's first love. You trusted her to keep your conversation with Jay about breaking up with Sunghoon to herself, but she violated that as soon as she could, too. She wasn't sure what it was, but whenever she looked in the mirror, all she saw was that she was as bad as her parents.

Yuna was fated to fall into the same destructive cycle over and over again until it stabbed her in the back for good. Until she bled out, though, everything was fair game.

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SUMMARY ▸ private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.

TAG LIST ▸ @zdgx1 @smouches @heesdazed @teawithbucky @leep0ems @peachpie4you @niniissus @kgneptun @jaeyunluvr @hooniesuniverse @zerasari @enhalov @sophiko22 @iselltulips @hoondiors @baekhyunstruly @jays-property @woninluv @heerinnie @fakeuwus @yizhoutv @en-happiness @theothernads @y4wnjunz @dammit-jjk @en-happiness @mari-oclock @enhypens-baby @soonyoungblr @jakeslvt @taetaenic @jebetwo @fairysungx @hsgwrld @shmooooo @ineedsomezzz @mrowwww @enha-stars @isawritesss @seongclb @lockburn-castle @alyssajavenss @enczen @calumsfringe @w3bqrl @luvyev @uhsakusa @luvnicho @wildflowermooon @navsnct

[her-reidiance]

A Kindred Spirit's Revelations, or: How This Arknights Player only came to love Lappland infinitely more — a Treatise by Her-Reidiance

I have had so many thoughts about Lappland in Il Siracusano it's insane. She afflicts my brain like Oripathy. Please bear with me, below is a long post and contains spoilers for the event.

EDIT: This part is misremembered, I apologize. The Saluzzos took in Cellinia Texas 7 years ago, after the Texas famiglia was "liquidated" for rebelling against Signora Sicilia. Yet Salvadore also sent Cellinia to live with them before the purge.

Lappland and Texas have been through how much together... was Lappland infected after Cellinia was taken in? How did those changes start to show... slowly or rapidly? Did Lappland's obsession begin with Cellinia first leaving Siracusa, or was it prior to that? Despite what we do gain knowledge of in the event, there's still some open doors.

We do know that they know each other quite well, and there's still some vestige of trust before the event's conclusion, this being my favorite representation:

The fact that Cellinia doesn't even bat an eye at the fact that Lappland broke into a supposedly well secured prison, but also the fact that she accepts the treat that Lappland brought, only to then realize it's her least favorite flavor — a fact Lappland had to have known going into this — sets my heart on fire. They know each other so well! They're complementary, contrasting, they have intimate knowledge of each other (take this phrase as you will, I already know how I do) and they regularly stay in some sort of off-balance with each other.

But the fact is, Lappland's obsession with Cellinia isn't just some textbook stalker with a crush, like what most would initially think given what had been presented prior to Il Siracusano. As Lappland says herself:

Lappland grew up the perfect Siracusan, the perfect Donna in training, the perfect killer. She was everything that could be expected of a woman in her station. She didn't see any way out of that life. It's what she was born in, it's what she will die in. But then along comes Cellinia Texas, doing nothing to save her family's life when the time comes to exterminate them, simply walking away from it all, and then walking away from her years later to go to Lungmen. Whatever condition Lappland was in by then, a switch was flicked on nonetheless, and she realized: "Oh... if it sucks... I can hit the bricks!"

But could she, really? What if Texas came back to Siracusa, and found that she could not truly escape her destined life after all, that she was just as bound to this place as Lappland was and would die here? That was the real test, and thus the events of Il Siracusano take place. But, when all is said and done, and it's just the two of them alone in the park...

I love this so much because it illustrates that our favorite insanity wolf has evolved! There is progress in her character arc! It's in an absolutely unhinged direction but it is no less in character for it. Her obsession has left from focusing solely on Texas as the Ideal, and now focused on destroyed Siracusa as a sort of Anti Ideal. Lappland now knows she is not bound by fate or blood or destiny to the place she was born. She too can simply watch the flames consume her family, her life, and walk away. And unlike Cellinia, she intends to be the one to light the match. The narrative gestures to this as well:

Lappland is now able to face the world, the wide world around her, not just as backdrops to her pursuit of Cellinia, but as hers to explore, to enjoy, to destroy as she wishes!

This moment is so much to me. It's the sudden clarity in her vision that demonstrates that she finally sees Cellinia as her own person, as just Texas the woman. Texas the Penguin Logistics courier. Texas, the woman who left. And she's no longer Lappland Saluzzo, shackled to her family name or a predestined future as its leader. She's... just Lappland.

Part time soulmates, Full time problem. No other dynamic can sum them up. Texas still cares for Lappland, just as she does Giovanna, as a part of her past that she did not altogether dislike. But she also sees more clearly than either of them. Giovanna, stuck in the past when she was Cellinia's best friend. Lappland, presently stuck on destroying the city around her as a final show of independence.

Finally, Lappland leaves the city, after a couple of loose ends are wrapped up. She wanders the wasteland, where the freshly defeated Zaaro happens upon her.

She fights Zaaro for THREE MONTHS in the middle of desolate wastelands. In all of that time, Zaaro didn't kill her, because he came to realize that there was no point in it. There was no satiation to be found for doing so, and that her fractured mind makes her a perfect candidate to be his next Fang. She is an empty husk, a woman who has nothing to live for by herself, but she is full. Full of training, full of potential, full of a singular goal; she is perfect to serve as the vengeance that Zaaro wishes to exact on Siracusa for his failure. And so, they team up, forming a bond forged in mutual hate. Not unlike the original appearance of Eddie Brock and Venom, truly.

The timing of the Azione Solo stories seems ambiguous to me, but some of them definitely take place after the main events of Il Siracusano. Of course, while I'm on the subject, let's discuss Lappland's solo story. I believe I have space left for more pictures so I'll share a few.

The summation is that Lappland makes a minor cameo in Cellinia's, in which she leaves a radio for the Texas to find, and she also goes about rooting through her family's estate one more time. She finds a photo of her younger self, and reminisces slightly on it. In between there was also a musbeast that she found and decided to keep, until it was taken and slain by the Saluzzo mafiosos.

After reminiscing about her father, and how doomed he — and as a result, she — are by being born as Saluzzos, as part of the mafia famiglie system... she destroys the image, while lamenting briefly that once again, the beloved pet of hers was killed by her father, laughing maniacally. To her, there still is no escape, or at least that's one way her mind leans. She knows Cellinia left, but maybe... maybe she cannot. All she can do is burn it down so there is nothing left to trap her. Nothing left to come back to. Scorched earth.

Finally, she dismisses Capone from her tentative services, having recruited him and Gambino at the end of Code of Brawl. Capone at this point realizes a bit just how absolutely feral and insane his "boss" is, and he is ready to die trying to kill her to be rid of her, by holding a knife in his sleeve. Of course, this is Lappland we're talking about. She sees through it right away and expresses probably one of her more genuine selves by stating that he's making a choice, and that's enough for her. He's free to go. The duplicitous Lappland, who prior might just have killed him for the sake of... sport? Insurance? On a whim? Lets him go instead, because she respects that he is making a choice for himself, rather than what he had been doing all event, which is walking on eggshells around her and trying not to be killed by her. We leave Lappland's story for now with this:

This implies that she returns to the city at some point after contracting with Zaaro. This to me shows promise of a continuance of her character. Lappland, The Fang of Zaaro, 6-star Operator coming sometime. Maybe during the Laterano event? After all, there's much more questions left to be answered... like why Lappland, a Lupo from Siracusa, can use Arts so well; and implied to be a skill of hers before her infection... but that's a ramble for another post.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you all understand my kinship with Lappland a little better, or at least have a bit more appreciation for this wonderful, horrible, terrifying, beautiful creature.

[arandomperson5647]

Encanto info from Jared Bush's Q&As

This is a little place where you can find (hopefully) a lot of info Jared has said in his Q&As. This is if you wanna check smth and don't wanna go on a hunt to confirm it since it's been so long. Idk if I got everything, I highly doubt I did, so if you have a piece of info I don't have and have a link to it, I can edit it on. Ngl I'm also kinda doing this for myself cuz I was curious to know everything he's told us. I'll mostly summarize the answer so it isn't longer than it needs to be, but I'll also copy+paste if I'm too lazy.

The info here kinda varies from interesting, to obvious stuff, to potentially pointless but really any of it can be used to do whatever.

Some of the answers he provided aren't concrete solid ("I think __ would happen", "I always thought ___", etc), so take this all with a grain of salt. I'll try to phrase the uncertain ones differently so you know they're not 100% (probably, possibly, might, etc). If the answer he gives is completely up to interpretation, then I won't include it. Some might be repeated cuz I don't feel like looking back to see if he answered the same question twice.

Just to warn you guys before you click "keep reading", this is a LONG post, so if you don't want it fill up your page, don't click it unless you really wanna read everything.

Antonio's Birthday Q&A #2 (5/21/23)

Canon universe:

Dolores never truly believed Bruno was still around. She heard stuff, but everyone told her he was gone, so she thought she was imagining things. "I knew he never left" was her way of saying "I shouldn't have doubted myself."

Antonio was a shy kid and animals are were easier for him to make friends with.

The potteries in Bruno's room were because it was fairly public for people who want visions, so they're probably a nod to that.

When Pedro went to the attackers when he died, he was planning to reason with them.

Luisa's associated with donkeys because they’re beasts of burden and that’s how everyone treated her.

Mirabel has her embroidery because she loves her family, but potentially also because she subconsciously want to make sure the villagers know despite having no gift she is every bit a Madrigal.

Isabela might potentially secretly like Pepa's chaos.

Julieta's really good at hiding her feelings about the pressure of being the town's healer, but she's also a naturally strong person.

There's a reason why Bruno's single but Jared didn't tell us.

Bruno's favorite food is Ajiaco, but potentially also big butt ants.

Julieta probably noticed Mirabel wasn't in the pic at Antonio's ceremony immediately after it was taken, but Mirabel had already left by then.

For a while, Bruno's limit for future seeing was until the fall of Castia, but now it's limitless.

Alma didn't necessarily approve of Agustín at first because he wasn't overly spectacular or confident.

Mirabel and Camilo got along well when they were young, but after Mirabel's ceremony, Camilo felt more pressure to perform and show off.

Even before his gift, Bruno probably worried and wondered about the future, which is what caused his gift.

The Madrigals mostly assumed Bruno had somehow left the Encanto after his disappearance.

The birth of the miracle happened near the turn of the 20th century, and Antonio's ceremony was 50 years later.

The 5th birthdays for the Madrigals is the big one. The others are "regular".

Camilo often annoys Isabela for fun and also because he's a bit envious of her. They're kinda opposite, perfect vs a clown.

The post-movie relationship between Mirabel and Isabela is probably mischevious.

Bruno probably already was breaking from pressure when Isabela was only in single digits.

Alma was loving to all her grandchildren, but sometimes it felt conditional due to her expectations. She wasn't self-aware enough to realize.

Félix can play the tiple, but not shown in the film.

Agustín and Félix probably wore their respective colors before marrying their respective wives. Their colors are also a nod to regionality.

Alma might've seen cracks before Mirabel saw them at Antonio's ceremony (not at the moment tho), giving her a reason to actually believe Mirabel and pray to Pedro.

Based off the book "Mystery in the Rainforest", Dolores and Mariano are engaged and planning a wedding soon.

There is a school in the Encanto, but since it's closed off and was formed in the beginning of the 20th century, new info would cease.

Pedro might've been the one to know sewing and embroidery. He taught it to Alma, who taught Julieta and Mirabel. She probably taught others but Mirabel did it the most.

Bruno's door might've started glowing again during his vision in Antonio's room because Mirabel is making him feel included in the family (and therefore Casita) again.

The Madrigals do have friends groups, just not shown.

Camilo's gift can be tiring. Like an actor playing their part.

Mirabel probably would've had a negative or even traumatic impact from the fall of Castia, mostly due to a near death experience.

The Madrigals have never tested their gifts beyond the Encanto, so it's still a mystery on what happens.

Antonio probably can talk to animals from different countries, not just Colombia.

Camilo sometimes tries to impress everyone with his gift.

Mirabel's birthday became "stressful" ever since her 5th.

Isabela would probably help Antonio decorate his room with crazy plants.

Behind the scenes:

5/21 is Afro-Colombian Day, which is why that's Antonio's bday.

There used to be a deleted scene of Mirabel getting grounded by Casita.

The Guzmans originally had the same number of family members as the Madrigals, and each member was like a doppelgänger of each gifted Madrigal child, except Mirabel, who was represented in the Guzman family by a goat.

There used to be a scene where Camilo's gift goes haywire at night or smth (can't figure out the full pic for this one).

Writers considered early on that Mirabel would want to leave, but they decided that from a character and cultural perspective, leaving her family would have been the absolute worst thing she could imagine.

It's never been established how long the ceremony doors appear before the ceremony, but 9 months has been considered.

Early versions would show that Alma had strict parents. It may or may not be true now, but it would make sense.

Mirabel used to have a gap in her teeth to show her quirkiness, but was removed because they wanted to show it in other ways.

Encanto Disney+ Hollywood Bowl Q&A (12/28/22)

Cannon universe:

Emotions can sometimes affect Bruno's visions.

Camilo often helped take care of babies even before Antonio's birth. He was just naturally good with them.

The stairs in Bruno's room probably grew as he became more distanced, so they probably lessened when Casita came back.

Luisa's favorite sister is probably Mirabel.

Camilo would probably sometimes be happy that Isabela found her true self, while also a bit jealous. It depends on the moment.

The Madrigals' reaction to someone entering the Encanto would probably be chaotic.

As a way to protect them, Alma was always a little strict on her family.

Julieta and Agustín often worried how Mirabel was doing, especially for Antonio's ceremony.

Alma tried to show she loved Mirabel in her own way after her ceremony and before the movie.

Camilo's experience being the only boy in the house for a while was...interesting. Not the easiest.

Pepa and Dolores' gifts have caused some difficulties between the two.

Especially post-movie, Bruno, Agustín and Félix would be a ridiculous trio.

The candle is now gone, but a new miracle took its place.

Félix and Mirabel have a good relationship, especially post-movie.

Isabela's 5th birthday was the first gift ceremony for the grandchildren.

Bruno was probably superstitious before moving in the walls.

Before the house fell, Alma probably wouldn't like Dolores marrying Mariano. After, she'd accept it.

The other Madrigals might have hidden potential in their gifts, much like Isabela did.

The townspeople mostly either put the Madrigals on a high pedestal or see them as equals.

Isa probably had at least one flower she'd intentionally give Mirabel allergies with.

Bruno was probably a bit popular at one point.

Adopted Madrigal kids that were 6+ would probably still get a gift.

Mirabel's near-sighted.

Camilo's probably gotten in trouble for his disguises at times.

Bruno's mostly a rat guy because he's around them the most.

Pepa has a sweet tooth but doesn't let her self have too much due to her weather.

Isabela can grow trees and crops.

There's no definite reason why Isa was the favorite grandchild, but being the eldest didn't help.

When Alma said "the magic is strong, and so are the drinks", she was really trying to get everyone back to the party.

The gifts can tire out the Madrigals if used a lot, sometimes physical pain can occur.

Alma might have siblings, but it's not confirmed.

Behind the scenes:

There used to be a scene of Mirabel getting grounded. Idk if it's the same scene as the previous one mentioned, but the context of the question might suggest otherwise. ("What would've happened to Mirabel if she was found after the dinner?")

There were versions in the end credits of everyone reuniting with Bruno.

There is potential for a Madrigal with OCD, autism, etc, but not yet confirmed.

Triplet's Birthday Q&A (8/17/23)

Cannon universe:

Bruno and the grandkids now watch telenovelas together.

Julieta's favorite food is probably ajiaco.

Mirabel's first word would potentially be "sita" because she loved Casita but couldn't say the full word.

Dolores' room has a lot of soundproofing.

The reason Mirabel seems to interact with Castia the most out of the Madrigals is because she was mostly an outsider, with only Casita to talk to.

Encanto is a hidden place, so simply finding it is near impossible.

There are respected town elders in Encanto, but Alma is considered the founder.

Pedro said something to Alma before he died, potentially in Spanish, but it's not confirmed what.

In terms of personality, Mirabel is the closest to Pedro.

For adoptive kids, Casita may be able to anticipate the arrival of someone new even before the family is consciously aware of it, giving them a new door.

Bruno's a fan of chocolate.

Mirabel loves every color. She has no known favorite.

Julieta got married first between her and Pepa.

Bruno's rats aren't sentient like humans, so Bruno would have to train them to do whatever.

It's possible another Madrigal felt resentment towards Bruno after he left.

Julieta's gift possibly only works with a combo of cooking and giving, but not confirmed.

Bruno learned how to use his gift through practice and invented customs. It was complicated.

Julieta probably needs to know the person's injury before healing it.

The majority of the Madrigals' dominate hands are right. Julieta and Antonio are left handed. Luisa is ambidextrous. It's unsure, but Mirabel is potentially left handed.

Mirabel's favorite food is arepa con queso.

Antonio's favorite snack is nailed rice.

Agustín and Félix have jobs in the town, but not confirmed what.

In a book, it was mentioned that Bruno was the golden child of the family. He probably fell from that position in his late teens.

Agustín's favorite meal from Julieta is chocolate santafereño.

Gifts can possibly be repeated, but not in the same generation.

The refugees/townspeople had brought everything from home they used to start farming when the Encanto formed.

Isabela and Mariano still have a good relationship after the movie. Neither were too wild about the engagement.

The bedrooms can change if their owner wants them to.

The gift ceremonies will now be different without a candle.

Madrigals still do the traditional quinceañera.

The Encanto doesn't have electricity.

Bruno has left the walls a few times for a break.

Isabela will probably keep switching up her outfit now that she can.

Luisa has always felt protective of Mirabel.

Behind the scenes:

Casita used to have shown that it has only 1 bathroom, which was located in the back right corner under Bruno's tower.

There was a deleted scene where Julieta yelled at Alma in front of the entire town after Mirabel went missing.

Julieta is the one singing w/ Mirabel during the "constellations glow/the seasons change in turn" lyric.

There used to be a version of Bruno using water with his vision.

The line said by Mirabel, "Even in our darkest moments there's light where you least expect it" was cut after Lin Manuel Miranda wrote Dos Oruguitas and the emotional thrust of Mirabel’s words needed to evolve to encompass what she’d just learned.

There was a Waiting on a Miracle reprise that was cut because they felt they didn't need it.

The concept of a new door appearing was considered to start with the doorknob.

No one intervened during Alma and Mirabel's argument because the writers felt that it was Mirabel's moment to shine.

VERY early on, Bruno (then known as Oscar) was Mirabel's estranged cousin.

Indestructibility was a gift they wanted to use. It was actually Pepa's original gift.

Dolores' Birthday Q&A (8/31/22)

Cannon universe:

People in Isabela's position wouldn't really have the chance to have authentic relationships because they're hiding their true self. This could potentially apply to Isa herself.

Before Mirabel's ceremony, her family was excited for her. After, the family’s ability to see Mirabel clearly was too obscured by their unhealthy dynamics but were probably unaware of that until Mirabel brought it to light.

Bruno's oversized clothing was by personal preference, potentially because of his awkward nature.

Before Isabela showed up in Bruno's vision, another person was there, who is possibly a young Alma. While not confirmed, it is implied in Jared's answer.

Félix and Agustín already had gifts, just not in a way that others could see.

Isabela lets herself break the rules, so while not confirmed, it's possible she could recreate mythical plants.

The town probably functions like a combination of where everyone came from.

The triplets used to have little meetings in Bruno's room when they were little.

Behind the scenes:

There used to be a scene where Bruno revealed he had a secret elevator in his room.

Agustín's Birthday Q&A (6/19/22)

Cannon universe:

Part of what fuels the miracle is unconditional love. When Mirabel and Isa showed that during What Else can I Do?, it affected the magic.

Julieta often gives people the food they like rather than something random.

For a long time, Isabela was the favorite grandchild for Alma. Before her ceremony, Mirabel was. After Casita's rebuild, many dynamics changed.

Agustín was born in the Encanto, but his family was from a city, so he was raised with the city-vibe.

Luisa's favorite food is bandeja paisa.

Every gift can be affected by emotions in some way.

Casita probably helped Bruno hide, but not confirmed.

If Mirabel and Bruno decided to leave the Encanto after Casita fell, the entire family would've fallen apart.

The only people in the Encanto were the ones who traveled with Alma. They all got there at the same time, no one got in or out.

Behind the scenes:

There used to be an exit for Bruno's wall room behind the family tree, but it wasn't used.

Antonio's Birthday Q&A (5/21/22)

Cannon universe:

Mirabel's canonically 5'2.

Mirabel has good relationships with Pepa and Félix. Félix loves everyone and likes hanging out with pretty much anybody. Pepa is a good tia, she’s just very emotional, but for most of the movie (and her life before) felt she had to bottle her emotions which only made them worse.

Bruno probably doesn't need the sand for visions, but as time went on he added his own superstitions.

The color of the magic in the end changed. It wasn't the color of the candle anymore, but the colors of Mirabel. What that means? No one knows.

Bruno "felt" his vision cave collapsing and investigated. That's how he knew it was destroyed.

Camilo couldn't really hold a form forever because of how tiring it could be.

Mirabel did have a quinceañera.

Casita has a mind of its own with its own emotions. Sometimes it could play pranks on the Madrigals or be too upset to move anything.

Behind the scenes:

Earlier versions had a negative dynamic between Mirabel and Camilo.

The gifts are based off family archetypes. Antonio is a shy kid but opens up to animals.

Random Q&A (3/19/22)

Cannon universe:

The main reason for Mirabel and Isa's falling out was because they couldn’t see the difficulties the other was experiencing, because they were fixated on their own struggles. They were probably closer when they were younger.

Despite being shy, Antonio does have friends in the town.

Due to the triplets' bday being the same day as Pedro's death, it's a mixed day.

Pepa can try to stop natural disasters, but doesn't usually succeed.

Mirabel would sometimes have sleepovers with her sisters when they were younger. There was a deleted scene showing it.

The pink cloud scene in Surface Pressure represents the stuff Luisa wanted to do without the pressure.

Behind the scenes:

Tbh there wasn't any answers that could qualify as behind the scenes sooo... 🤷

Stuff that didn't come from Q&As but is still good info

Madrigal Birthdays (I'm not doing a link for each, just take my word for it lol):

Félix: November 11 (11/11)

Julieta, Pepa, Bruno: October 17 (10/17)

Agustín: June 19 (6/19)

Isabela: August 7 (8/7)

Dolores: August 31 (8/31)

Luisa: November 14 (11/14)

Camilo: December 28 (12/28)

Mirabel: March 6 (3/6)

Antonio: May 21 (5/21)

Madrigal ages:

Alma: 75

Julieta, Pepa, Bruno: 50

Isabela: 21

Dolores: 21

Luisa: 19

Camilo: 15

Mirabel: 15

Antonio: 5

I don't believe the husbands' ages are confirmed, but Félix is confirmed to be a little older than the triplets, while Agustín is a little younger than the triplets.

Julieta is the oldest of the triplets, Pepa in the middle, and Bruno is the baby.

[eskawrites]

not to get all up in my feelings about art and creativity but today (at work, not even as a fandom thing lmao) one of my friends went out of her way to tell me how much she liked a piece of my writing. and the thing is, i wasn't even that attached to this piece. it's small and written for a work thing and a lil clunky and a lil too personal and i almost didn't share it, but i decided to anyway because whatever

but after she told me that, the first thing i did was go back and re-read it, because i wanted to see what she saw in it. not in a self-deprecating, 'why do you even like this?' way, but just because it meant enough to her to say something about it, and i wanted to read it again through her eyes and wonder which phrases made her stop and think, or how the themes hit home, or what part made her like it enough to tell me about it

and i do that with my fanfic sometimes, too. when someone points out a certain detail or predicts what will happen next or even just says they read this at 2:30 in the morning with their cat on their lap. i read those comments, and i go back and look at this story i made, and i remember that i'm real and they're real and the things i create have changed the world in some tiny, ultimately insignificant way--but it was enough to affect what someone was doing or thinking in that moment

and something i've thought a lot about since covid happened and the vast majority of my social interactions started taking place online (it's a problem, i'm working on it, but it's true nonetheless) is that art really, truly is a love language. and not just when you gift it to people, or when you use it to show appreciation, or however else it can coincide with the traditional love languages. but because it's a way to share a little piece of yourself. and it might be silly and it might be sad and it might be fun and it might be meaningful but no matter what, it comes from you. a lot of the time, it comes from a part of us that we can't really effectively express otherwise. i mean, i can say 'i love x ship' in a thousand different ways but that's never going to compare to pouring my heart into stories or arts or edits exploring all my favorite things about those characters and their dynamic. that's why 'bad' art from writers or artists who don't really know what they're doing is still good--because if it comes from you, if it has meaning to you, it's special

but the thing about love languages is that there has to be a recipient. sometimes my writing is an act of love for myself, and that's good and lovely. but other times, when i share writing with friends or fandom or just strangers on the internet who have a thing or two in common with me, when you become the recipient, it really does transform the work. all these things that are so meaningful to me that i turned them into art are suddenly meaningful to you, too. it's like confessing a secret and having someone say yeah, me too. it's vulnerability and acceptance and kinship and community. it makes me see the things i create in a whole new light. it makes me see myself in a whole new light.

[the-amazing-wonderss]

Waste it on me

A/N: ...OKAY SO NOT TWICE BUT BTS THIS TIME DONT@ME ABT MY SONG CHOICES 🤡‼️ Also my first time writing for Sakura because Mod 👻 wanted me to so i'm sorry if she sounds OOC, same with the others !! ⎯☠️

Content: Fluff, No gender specified for reader other than the terms 'lady/gentleman' used in Natsuhiko's part, yandere-ish behavior on Tsukasa's part, rushed and not proofread/edited. Summary: In which you are an anti romantic that's persistent to deny your feelings to them but they notice.

Characters: Sakura, Natsuhiko, Tsukasa

You say love is messed up, you say that it don't work. You don't wanna try, no, no (you don't wanna try, no, no) ⎯ From pushing and pushing, you don't seem to budge from where you stand. Instead you're waiting there for me. Waiting for my answer that you've already predicated. Am I that obvious? Or did you predict this as well?

It's actually hard for you to even notice that she knows. With her stoic expression and all, as well as her unbothered attitude, you never would've found out about her knowing until you had eventually confess.

But before that can even occur, SAKURA would remain silent and resilient to whatever nonsense you had to say about love. How it's foolish, silly, a lie, etc.

However one thing she does notice when you start talking about it is how each time you mention something different about it, there's always a distant look in your eyes.

Whether it's mentioning the way some couples act sickly sweet to each other or how they'd bring their significant other to some place special, there was always this... Longing expression that you yourself might've not noticed, but she did.

The way you stared afar for a while, making it quite easy for her to admire the look on your face. It makes her a bit sadden to see how you weren't honest with your feelings, but also understand why you weren't so open about it.

That's why she doesn't speak up about it, or try to approach you on the topic. She's the type to wait for your answer, and if you still weren't willing to? Well one way or another she'll eventually draw the answer out of you sooner or later.

I don't know your secrets but I'll pick up the pieces. Pull you close to me now ⎯ Why don't you leave me alone? Why are you such a thorn to my side? Can't you see that I hate you? That you make me sick? Just looking at you makes my stomach churn, so what's with that dumb look on your face for?

Oh he knows. He knows and he fucking loves it so much. Basking at even knowing but still chasing after your love is so exciting for him, especially when you kept trying to push him away and deny it all, he just keeps coming back.

NATSUHIKO as we all know him very well, is a romantic at heart ⎯ he'd go far and beyond to show his love for you, heck, even showing it off despite your counters against it.

And although he might not say it out loud for you or anyone to hear, he is a bit ... Hurt? For you, seeing as you weren't honest with your feelings and kept pushing it down, was it because of his previous acts of flirting to others that made you feel as if he'd toy with yours? Or was it perhaps a past relationship that made you see things the way they are now?

He didn't know, he wants to know but he didn't want to drag you into saying it.

So instead, he awaits for whatever your reason or answer might be while also still trying to court you in the best ways possibles for a lady/gentleman such as yourself.

Treat me like a comma, I'll take you to a new phrase. Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away ⎯ I don't understand what's so special about me that makes you act like this, so childish yet so loving... Is this some kind of joke to you? Are you pulling on the strings of my heart simply because it's funny? You're cruel to make me fall for you even more.

He knows and he's pestering you about it. Upset that you're trying to keep it from him while also finding it so entertaining, especially about the little comments you make on love.

Why did it upset you? Why are you denying it? It's interesting to see how you shy away from his touches due to not 'wanting to be in love' but at the same time, looking like a love stricken fool.

TSUKASA doesn't necessarily take too kindly if you keep up with this act though, as it soon becomes more irritating than interesting for him. So if you aren't admitting to your feelings by the time he starts switching up, you might be in a lot of trouble and find some of your classmates going missing.

He sees no point keeping them around if you aren't willing to have him either.

But...if you do end up confessing to him before all of that could happen, he would be so overjoyed! Bouncing around and clinging onto you as if he hadn't just threatened demanded for your answer earlier!

It did came out as forceful... Maybe even a bit worrying from how he made you get straight to the point rather than beat around the bush for too long ⎯ but in the end, you did end up getting what you wanted, right? You have him now and he has you.

(Gonna add this extra part here just in case some readers aren't a big fan of yandere endings: But Sakura would talk to Tsukasa at one point about it and let him know of your feelings before you even got the chance to. Instead, having him confront you about it rather than the other way around ⎯ so that he could take the initiative and put the end to this cat and mouse chase.)

[rox-of-iu]

just another one of the many, many NPC Shen Yuan AU's out there

this one is an author SY in PIDW, bingyuan flavoured very briefly about it under the cut if u wanna

ok like i said i'll go over kust the brief basic stuff cuz I'm not good with words. but basically its sy dropped in pidw like, mid endgame ig, with already blackened protag and no system. so he's like, this might as well happen and goes to vibe and explore bc he's been dropped with the basic necessities to live for a bit. after some time he realizes he's in PIDW and after the initial outrage decides to capitalize on it and uses knowledge from his days spent editing the pidw wiki for fun. so he's running along having fun cataloguing things into several bestiaries and herbals (and cartography stuff etc just compiling worldbuilding) and decides to publish them with an actual success and he becomes a bit of a well-known author in the encyclopedia scene. so he's living out his best life, traveling from place to place, using his meta timeline knowledge to stay clear of the places that are plot-relevant at the time, happy to stay clear out of the path of his blackened blorbo.

that is until someone publishes a binghe biography that is so bad and so 'conquests' focused that he cant help but write his own (leaving out too personal things that he's sure lbh wouldn't want out there) under a pseudonym as a deliberate critique of the other one, which he even clearly states in the prologue of it (that the work is a disservice and disrespectful to the lord and wives alike and much more flowery vitriol, just letting his old angry commenter out)

so its published and it doesnt actually do half-bad because over the years of writing he has gotten pretty decent and that's it for a while. Until it gets to the demon lord. it gets brought to his attention by his court which takes care of notifying him of any possibly slanderous works (lbh doesn't actually care that much about stuff like that but they insist on it and its less tiresome to just let them do whatever than to keep telling them off) so they're like, there's one book, which isn't technically, a critique of the lord, but does criticise the other one which sings praises to him to all heavens so?? technically? (lbh knows of the first one but thought nothing of it bc it was mid and mostly inaccurate but again, he doesn't acre about that stuff rly) so they hand it over and he skims through it and slowly realizes that there is a lot of things that no-one or just a select few should have any idea about so, ok much more concerning than any bad portrayal of his person, even if nothing actually too-secret didn't get exposed in it. its about the principle. so he first conducts a search of his palace and his circle of people if the author is any of the people around because, who else could know about all this (trying to ignore the stuff that no-one except from him should be aware off) but it turns out with no results. so he orders his people to try to find them but the lands are vast and there's authors of plenty so of course that is also almost impossible.

what i think would be funny tho is if liu mingyan was like can I take a look/help, skimmed through it and was oh yeah I've seen this before and is able to trace it back to sy because he used unconsciously a modified phrase from his previous world that is not at all common here that he already used in one of his previous works (or maybe in an angry review of a novel, to scratch that forum commenter itch, that'd be maybe more probable for my to come across) so she notices that immediately because the first time she saw it she was left puzzled so she was sure it has to be most likely the same person again. and so bingge is set to go get his man hsdakhj

idk rly about the rest, maybe he finds him in a forest sketching down demonic beasts so he shapeshifts and a demon hound to get to him and spy on him (idk if he can but he's op so I say he can) or maybe he just comes over and invites himself him Idk. and the plan at first was just to squeeze the information out of this pesky scholar of how he knows about the shit he knows so he doesn't have to stress about it, but the plan turns into "ok new plan I'm keeping this one actually" sajdhkh and i didn't really think of what of next so thats that, whatever floats your boat is next cuz this is already a few days old so new brainrot took its daydream place haha xD

......wait thsi was supposed to be brief why is this wall of text here how did this happen (also I'm not rereading it so if it doesn't make sense I'm sorry lol)

[punishing-eden]

A Rant about the Wuwa storyline at 3am:

((Sorry, I just couldn't hold it in anymore, long rant, and I genuinely think there is a misunderstanding.))

I am going to get flame or hate for this but... Oh well.

Just offering my opinion and 2 cents... Tldr; at the end.

I know the topic about the storyline in the Wuthering Waves beta has set debates, and even some animosity with the CN side.

I have heard about the CN and global comments. Hence, I actually got curious, and went ahead to watch all the cut scenes, both from Global and CN.

After watch both versions, I have some thoughts:

Firstly, I do agree that having characters that are not immediately in love/ infactuated with the MC quickly, is definitely refreshing. I am also tired of the harem tropes.

I do like the aspects as to how the MC is going to nagivate their way through all sorts of people, and their interaction with the characters of different personalities.

In the beginning, I also thought the CN side was too sensitive and whinny.

However, after watching the cut scenes on both ends, I will say that the CN's criticism about the "Harsh" treatment is not invalid.

I think there is a misunderstanding of what the Global side thinks the CN side is referring too. I also find the use of the word, "Harsh" is incorrect.

I think there are a number of factors that contributed to the unsatisfactory of the characterisations and the story as a whole. To simply put everything under the word "Harsh" and call it a day, I don't think it's fair.

I see a lot of people in global referring the "Harsh" treatment as Chixia holding her gun at Rover, and not being buddies to Rover, unlike Yang Yang.

It not so much about being suspected as a threat or not being able to get off from the waifu fantasy. (I will not deny that there are some ppl who wants that.)

More so, it's the character dialogue and the story writing in itself. Edit: Don't get me started on the cheesy cutscenes and dialogue.

There are moments where Chixia's dialogue is incredibly rude in Chinese, but the English translation didn't hold the same interpretation. Hence, the Global ver sounded less harsh, and the insults didn't hold as much weight as it would in Chinese.

For example, the scene where Rover returns the Resonance Terminal that Chixia dropped. She got irritated/annoyed, and snatched it away.

Her dialogue to Rover: 「... 怎麼偏偏被你撿到... 」

If I were to translate this, it would be more along the lines of, "Tsk, It just has to be you out of everyone [to pick it up]"

This line was actually quite rude in Chinese. Even I was taken back. The usage of 'just has to be' really hits hard since it emphasis whatever was said and implied directly at the receiver. Pair it with her attitude, she comes off being insufferable.

The same dialogue in Global ver: "... Why does it have to be you..."

It lacks the weight of how the CN ver come across.

If Localised, "Of course it's you, couldn't be more better." in a sarcastic tone. ((This is the best I can come up with, if English speakers know a more appropriate phrase that holds the same meaning, please tell me. I really want to know.))

Also, I find the constant switch of Chixia's lines between some friendly/neutral moments, and straight insults/rude wordings are quite annoying and abusive at times.

Yeah, we get it you don't like Rover, we got the point. But, the extra rudeness felt unnesscary at some point in the story (Not that the story is well written in the first place anyway. It's beta.)

The fact that Rover just takes the abuse was just... 😬😬 annoying. Which, some CN players expresses that as well. The story didn't give Rover any agency at all. They didn't fight back or trying to prove their innocence or do anything about it. They just stay quiet, and does the next task people tell them to after being insulted.

I think a lot of people were fed up with this over all treatment of the Rover.

I am not saying there shouldn't be any rude characters. But I think there is a threshold as to how much abuse of the MC that the players can take in the story.

It's 3am, idk will this make sense, maybe not. But need to get this off my chest because of this constant animosity between global and CN in regards of story.

Might delete this.

Tldr; CN's critisms about the "Harsh" characters are not invalid. I believe there is a misunderstanding of the CN side of the critisms, as it is reduce to be "They only want harem waifu, that's why they can't handle characters being unfriendly."

I watched both CN and global versions of beta, just to really see what is going on. Turns out, there were a number of factors at play with the story telling, character dialogue and how the Global translation kinda lost the weight of the rude dialogue being thrown at Rover constantly.

It was a combination of these things that lead CN players feel dissatisfied by the story.

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk.

[screechingkroh]

I just wanted to say I edited Chapter 13! I removed, reworked, and replaced some things in there. The full list of it all will be placed beneath the cut, but if you wanna go read it, you're more than welcome to. This is gonna help with chapter 14 and give me more wiggle room when I get back to writing it.

edits i've made -

- fixed some grammar mistakes (I probably missed some ngl)

- retconned the nightmare at the beginning. while you still get nightmares, you don't ever remember what it's about.

- reworked "You were anything but nonchalant about it. The discovery of a box with your name on it in the Flaming Foundry is sending you into a crisis. Is someone out there, right now, with your name and face? Are you living their life? Have you stolen something from them? You fucking exist here but not in the sense of you" - it now says "You were anything but nonchalant about it. Having discovered the box in the Flaming Foundry, you've been getting fits every night. Shit sleep schedule, worrying about if it was all a coincidence, or if you're wearing the face and the name of someone else. Something in you is hoping, screaming, it's a coincidence that someone has the same name as you. There are over a billion people on ythis planet, someone is bound to share the same name and face. It can't be impossible, can it?"

- reworked "When you stumbled upon it a few days back, you had bugged Red Son to read it. Traditional Mandarin had more strokes and more characters than simplified Mandarin. There were pronunciation and definition changes over time. Terminology, phrases, and vocabulary might have meant something different compared to the modern meaning. Sure, you can get a general idea of what it means by skimming over the words, but you were desperate. This box had scrolls that had your name. It was repeated constantly with an ever-changing tone." and "You didn’t get the reaction you liked when Red Son had shakily put the scroll back and quietly shoved you out of the foundry. His reaction haunts your dreams and is the trigger to the repeating nightmare of blood and fire." - now says "When the two of you stumbled upon it a few days ago, you asked for a translation. The writing on the box was Traditional Mandarin, which has more strokes and characters than the current simplified Mandarin. Not to mention pronunciation and definition changes over time. While you can read, write, and even talk in Mandarin, you only know the modern version of it. So, as one casually does with a friend who knows traditional and modern, you had all but bugged the shit out of Red Son." and "You didn't quite get a response as he huffed, shoved the box further into the mess of whatever-the-fuck-boxes, roughly handed you the new (very legal, very real) driver's licenses, and kicked you out of the area. T'was not a fun time for you."

- replaced "scroll" with "box"

- rewrote "But you aren’t, and you’re too scared to tell them. The dream– memory?– from when you had collapsed has somehow burnt itself into your brain. The feeling of heat from the fire echoes and lingers like a phantom touch. You vividly remember the feeling of sticky wet blood drying on your hands and Xuan-colored hanfu. An overwhelming need to vigorously wash your hands until they’re red from irritation overcoming your being." - now says "You aren't. You aren't okay. You aren't fine. You'll never be fine. Nothing will ever be fine! Not with the fits of hazy dreams that you could never remember. Not with the greedy claws of future-seeking demons— ones you created with your lies—peaking around every damn corner. Not with your knowledge, your awareness— everything! The awareness of what is to come stains your hands with thick carmine that drips off your hands. The awareness of the ones who never come out of these events alive.

You will never be okay."

- rewrote from ""Neither," you swat at him playfully..." to ""Wh-" Macaque chokes on his spit. "What?""

- replaced "He's flabbergasted, downright flustered" with "He was flattered, charmed, rizzed-up, and completely confused."

- replaced "The two of you burst out into laughter at the description" with "You snickered at the wrinkled-nose reaction at the description."

[wordsandrobots]

There are many things I admire in Iron-Blooded Orphans (obviously), but its commitment to depicting relationships that are, at once, the best and absolute worst thing in the characters' lives is near the top.

Anyway, @trafalgarlog's fansubs for the latest side-story off the app are up, Almiria in Love, so it's time to once more talk about how the Gjallarhorn aristocratic system screws up everything it touches.

(Oh, a note: I've always written the pet-name Almiria gives McGillis as 'Mackie' because my instinct is to pronounce 'Macky' as 'MacKAY', not MacKEY'. This is a me-thing and liable to remain for the duration. I apologise for any inconvenience.)

We open some while before Almiria's debut in Season One, at the bottom of the Bauduin's garden where they apparently grow a variety of tea . . . varieties. Almiria is fretting over McGillis' impending return as she wants to make him the 'best tea ever'. Luckily, her maid is on hand to talk her through the properties of different kinds of teas.

I would remind you that at this point, Almiria is nine, which to my mind places the tea-making way beyond her age, on top of everything else. But here we are.

And there Almiria is, mentally wishing for Mackie to hurry up and come home! This transitions into the story of how they met.

It was when she was five years old, at a New Year's party on the Bauduin estate, the first time she 'debuted' in Gjallarhorn's high society. Her maid arranged her in a fancy dress, which Almiria thought made her look like a 'mature lady'. She was so happy that she could have run around, but this was clearly not the behaviour matched to her status.

In the main hall, guests remarked on her appearance, smiling and calling her 'cute', but quickly returned to their drinks and chatting, leaving Almiria quickly bored with the whole affair (kid, having suffered many a family wedding, I relate).

But then Gaelio called her over, telling her that it was time to meet her destiny. He led her to another young man, McGillis Fareed, who turned around to reveal a pretty face 'like a statue in a museum' (my gods, there's layers to that one).

We are then presented a screen of what I can only describe as 'McGillis and Gaelio: Twink Edition', resplendent in standard pale blue Gjallarhorn officer uniforms. Rank-wise, this would probably make them lieutenants at this point.

Gaelio introduced his best friend to his beloved little sister. This, he informed Almiria, was her fiance. Being, again, FIVE, she had no idea what that meant and Gaelio explained their father and the head of the Fareed family had made a promise that one day she and McGillis would be married.

This, as Almiria understood it, was when a man and woman lived together in the same house, ate together and went out together, and argued with each other once a month. A summary that has some *fascinating* implications for Lord Gallus and the so-far entirely unseen Lady Bauduin. But the main point was, she didn't know this man at all, and Gaelio assuring her it would secure the positions of both House Bauduin and House Fareed did not especially help. Probably because the nitwit chose to phrase it as a sturdy house requiring a human pillar, an ancient and terrible fate.

McGillis reprimanded him for being overly sarcastic and went down on one knee to introduce himself properly to Almiria, who once again noted his prettiness.

Continuing to be flippant, Gaelio pointed out this was his chance to run away and avoid being his sister's babysitter alongside all the normal hard work. Almiria did not take kindly to this and promptly ran for the garden.

She assumed, in that moment, McGillis must be the same as all the other adults, looking down on her for being a child. Fleeing to the south flower beds (where the tea was) in spite of a path made muddy by rain, she was surprised to find McGillis following her.

He remarked on the flowers and she stammered over how to properly address him. He told her to call him whatever she liked and said he wanted a chat, knowing she must have been confused to be told out of the blue that they were to be engaged.

Then he told her that it must be her decision. Yes, the marriage was for their families, but her feelings mattered most. He invited her to look at him with her own eyes, and call off the marriage if she found her disagreeable. Look and decide. Does she understand?

Having received a tentative, confused yes in response, he said they should return to the party. Everyone was lonely without Almiria there. He offered her his hand but she insisted on going alone, still caught up in feelings of inadequacy. And off the path she tumbled.

McGillis scooped her up, finding her muddy and scraped. She had better get cleaned up quickly. Luckily her maid arrived, taking over the task of carrying her inside. But McGillis held them back a moment, pointing them behind the hedge. After all, if they went straight inside through the garden, people would see the state Almiria was in. Is the maid trying to bring shame on a lady?

As the maid apologised, Almiria was caught up in McGillis calling her 'a lady'.

Later, at the front door of the mansion, Gaelio saw McGillis out. He paused a moment to ask if McGillis was really OK with the engagement. Almiria was too young to understand and the marriage was being forced on them by their parents. What did McGillis really think of it? (Gaelio, using flippancy to hide or deflect from his true feelings on something while actually having grave misgivings that point towards a fundamentally decent character beneath his foppish exterior? I'm shocked, shocked I say!)

McGillis, eyes shut, asked why he would underestimate his sister. Then, with eyes open, stated that she would make a perfect partner. He was happy to have met her (audible five-year-old step in the background). He would, in fact, be thanking god for it.

Gaelio turned to see Almiria hurrying towards them. Her scrape was all better and she wanted to know if 'Mackie' would be coming to play with her again some time? As her brother spluttered over the pet name, McGillis promised to come see Almiria again and the two shared in the sunset light.

Back in the present, Almirira reflects that it doesn't matter what others say. In front of Mackie, she becomes a lady. And the door buzzes, McGillis and Gaelio returning from their trip to Mars. She rushes to greet them, leaving behind a tray of tea things that she has meticulously arranging in anticipation of their arrival.

(Long, long sigh, and not because Tumblr nearly gave me a heart attack just now when I thought this hadn't saved)

So yes. This is how Almiria first found out she would be engaged to McGillis. And first of all, I need to go adjust my fanfic because I had revised Gallus and Iznario planning this up to when Almiria was seven, but turns out my initial dating of it to when she was four was actually bang on the money. Fire. Riots. Defenestration. Etc.

I appreciate the confirmation of what is 'merely' heavily implied in the series proper, which is that one of the reasons Almiria is so damn attached to McGillis is that he treats her as the lady society tells her she needs to be one day. Her rejection of her own childhood speaks volumes about what it is like to be raised in such an environment and to see that as the crux of their relationship from the start makes so many things click.

It is also grooming. As in actual, not-messing-around, trust-building-for-the-sake-of-certain-ends grooming. McGillis is cultivating Almiria's affection in ways she cannot and will not receive from those responsible for her safety. He has homed in on an aspect of her personality that can be used to make her loyal to him.

But at the same time, we know he knows what it is like to be pushed around by forces beyond your control or understanding. We *know* that when Gaelio asks him what he really thinks of the situation, Mackie is not going to be truthful. Because he isn't, ever. He can't be. What he's saying in that moment is clearly as much for Almiria's ears as her brother's. And yet, is his kindness really an act? Is he making a genuine connection here, to someone in a situation that is akin to his own, if dissimilar in class?

We'll never know. And Almiria, at nine, is just happy to have somebody in her life who treats her the way she wishes to be seen. True or false, it means the world to her and I can't help but think about how lonely she must be otherwise, being groomed for a role in Gjallarhorn's upper-crust and shunted around like a bargaining chip.

None of the questions here have easy answers, and I commend the writers for constructing this in such a ways to avoid giving any.

[xzeihoranth]

It began with the forging of the three-

I'll start again.

It began with BioShock Infinite.

Now obviously, it didn't all begin there. It's the third game in a series that itself is a spiritual successor to another series. But that's where we're starting our story. Or where I'm starting this one. Like most things that came out in the fucking early 2010s, it has not aged well. I'm not qualified to talk about the racism for reasons that would be blindingly obvious. Most people in this hellhole are too harsh on it, or harsh on it for what I consider the wrong reasons (hint: your internalized misogyny may be showing).

At the time, I really liked it. It 'woke me up' out of a sort of stupor I'd been in for a while. So I eagerly awaited the story-based DLCs.

They were dogshit. Or more accurately, the second one was dogshit and would be worth an entire essay on its own. In fairness it was made while the studio was being shut down because the lead "auteur" Len Kevine (not his real name) was taking his ball and going home in more ways than one. He started his own studio shortly thereafter, and is still working on the first game there almost ten years later because he's an indecisive both-sidesing hack who keeps getting distracted by the new craze in whatever video game he played last.

Anyway: they were dogshit. I decided to rewrite them. In Absentia was a meandering project that took me about two years, but it mostly holds up. While trying to get a handle on how to write the main character I did a search for 'omnichronal perception' or something along those lines, and ended up on the Power Listing wiki. One of the other listings on that page was for a set of contact lenses on the SCP wiki. That's a second rabbit hole right there, and one I spent many years thereafter browsing.

After In Absentia I started work on another project that didn't pan out for a variety of reasons. It and my time with the SCP wiki sort of came to a head with the release of SCP 3999, which is just monstrous and wonderful at the same time. Right from the quotation at the top of the page, which introduced me to yet another rabbit hole I'm still going down today*, and then finally closing out with (and I maintain this wasn't there when I first read it, though I'm not going back through the edit history to check) a triumphant rendition of 'Sunday (Finale)' from Sunday In The Park With George.

What is that third rabbit hole? Well, the SCP wiki has a neat little habit of cross-referencing other SCPs, whether by name or by some other aspect. Sometimes they're hyperlinked, sometimes they're not. The quotation I mentioned contains the phrase 'Eleven-Day Empire', which I took to be another SCP, so I googled it. Except...it wasn't. It directed me, of all things, to the Doctor Who wiki and explained that it was a reference to a Doctor Who spinoff I'd never heard of before, and with good reason. It's been described as 'Doctor Who without the Doctor', which isn't strictly accurate: there are a few Doctor-shaped holes in the texts, as people have noted. (Though for legal reasons, they aren't named.)

Maybe I've beaten around the bush long enough. It's Faction Paradox.

Toward the end of my attempt to write that project from before, I kept imagining someone standing outside the house where most of the narrative was taking place. Just watching. Then, in...I can't remember the year, or the month at this point, but I want to say it was either 2018 or 2019, I had a dream. I can only remember three things from it now: the Twelfth Doctor (who was only in it briefly), something about the TARDIS being a tree, and the phrase The New Omnifitense. The strangest part was, I'd skipped most of the Twelfth Doctor's run; not out of any moral stand or anything, I just missed one episode and even back then I knew that I'd be hopelessly lost next time around, so it sort of snowballed.

Each of those aspects I managed to work into Blood and Tears, in addition to the things from 3999. Blood and Tears is still close to my (pardon me for saying so) heart; it came out almost exactly the way I hoped it would, which is no mean feat given the scares I had in 2022.

If you somehow made it this far, thank you.

[humanmorph]

C/W 06-09 thoughts : ]

Boy this took me a bit!!! I made the post for the first set of episodes on August 12. I said then I should take more notes while listening, & I think I in fact took LESS notes. edit: and wrote... more??? ok.whatever

Summary (short)

There's a food crisis. Orth gets kidnapped! The Chime gets an automated message to find him and they track him down to some train tracks where the train Orth was on (with a food delivery) got derailed. They get in a really long fight some people from a group called the Iron Choir (they have Orth!) and also some Apostolosians (only really due to bad phrasing on AuDy's part) . And then don't really win but do get away with Orth, so everything's fine I guess?

(more on faction game down below. too much happens in those to summarize here.)

Ground Game

This is the second (and last!) arc they play using MechNoir. I only just started the episode where they switch the characters over to The Sprawl, and I'm counting that towards the next bunch of episodes rather than this one... Anyways, this arc is like a good argument for that switch. It kind of stands out as a "oh they switch after this, right?" thing now. BUT!

The fight was honestly not as much of a slog as I remembered. Like they've done wayyy better fights since ofc especially with mechs (for me personally PZN is still the standout but PAL has had some Good Shit too) but this is like. It's ok! There's fun bits! I like Aria's mech! Part of it might absolutely be that I like. Give a fuck about mechs now and as a result am able to also imagine them better. I think in 2021, when I first listened, I was like. I guess there's Big Robots. Like transformers? (isn't even familiar with transformers) (really doesn't have a touchpoint for this at all)

I liked the snooping around bit before they got to this 2 episode long fight. I already mentioned it in an earlier post briefly, but we learn some minor details about Orth (they are looking through his office), that now really delight me because I love Orth! But when I first listened I don't think I cared very much at all about him at this point. This time around, his and AuDy's relationship intrigues me expecially with how Jack has been playing them.

Player character update...: AuDy is still my favourite. I still don't quite know what to do with Cass, but maybe I'll get there soon? Mako's funny. Though, and I thought I posted about this? But I can't find it now, an arc this episode also brings the morality of fogging robots onscreen for a bit. AuDy's upset by it. I think the notion of the robot he fogs getting more sentient is interesting...? Expecially if you draw a connection to what gives Mako the ability to do it in the first place. ... I won't say more here because I'm not actually sure but it's definitly running via Rightenousness a little bit, right? No clue if those facts are actually connected or not though. Uhm. I like Aria : ). Not many notes there so far, pretty much just the same stuff I said last time (I'm paying more attention to her where I feel like I hadn't as much on my first listen due to Ali being a little more reserved as a player this early on).

Further up I already talked about the switch to The Sprawl & I know the reasons and agree. however. I do think it's fun when they come up with adjectives, even if it messed with the pacing a bit because it took some time to do well. There's still a bit of this with other games they play later, too, like naming risks in Armor Astir or... whatever it was called to take something in Scum & Villainy (I recently relistened to the bit where Gig gets crushed and blown up and is VERY upset by it. It's still very funny).

Another thing I'm noticing more is that I'm occasionally a bit wonky on the factions, even super major ones ( OriCon vs. the Diaspora). I think it's because I didn't listen to the worldbuilding ep... I remember it having pretty rough audio (though probably not worse than that epispde of AiH where you couldn't hear Art at all), and also I skipped it back when I first listened, too (I'd bounced off before. I feel like I've mentioned this). It made some stuff in these episodes a bit hard to keep track of, expecially talking about the food crisis, and who is affected, and who is blamed, etc. (& I very much enjoyed all that! Like oh! We're getting into it now! Space factions and their politics and their effect on the world our characters move in! This rules. Friends at the Table rules)

Faction Game

Sylvi is so ON it with the faction game it's crazy. The other day while listening I remembered this was her first season on the show, like... damn!!! Just a ton of great ideas. It's really fun seeing them all be so enthusiastic about this.

Really good and fun faction game. I'm enjoying these a ton. A lot of my favourite scenes (or very memorable ones) from my first listen is faction game stuff, so I knew I'd like it, but I'm like REALLY really enjoying it. I've already said this in my other post, but I'm pretty sure it's due to the fact I can pay attention better & parse information.

It's a real big one too with a ton stuff getting set up. RIGOUR, Ibex, the Hands of Grace (hi Vicuna), some first September Institute stuff (like how fogging works!), and Loyalty gets introduced in that episode (hi Kobus, also). A lot of Divines, really! I'll get to this very big and important thing first: Rigour getting dug up!!! I totally didn't remember Austin immediately namedrops it at the end of the episode, lol. That probably wouldn't happen now, but these early seasons are more. informal? just less produced? And I really don't dislike it, it's simply a different vibe. And I'm liking it. (The rough-ish audio is also part of it IMO. Love to hear the static white noise if a mediocre mic under their voices.) I do still really like that scene though. Very effective. The image of a worker getting out of his mech to dig the last bit with his hands... It's good shit. Also just. RIGOUR. It maybe even hits more this second time around, because I know just What has been uncovered here and the consequences it will have.

Another is Ibex getting introduced! Hi!!!! : ) Apparently he's something called a "seductress" (or well. seductor) in the games rules, which I extremely forgot and made me laugh when I heard it. And then they proceed to come up with pretty much his whole deal, which Austin's performance is gonna finetune & shape more later on. I'm just excited! I like this guy! (Something I'm trying to do more this time around is take notes to look stuff up later, like what animals the Candidates are named after. I didn't do this for Ibex until sometime last year! Cool animal.)

This faction game also has the first appearance of Diego Rose who I have in mind as sort of Sylvi's special little guy? He's a pretty important guy in the faction that she plays, so I'm just gonna assume he'll show up way more in the future. But really I just loved that scene of him offering a prisoner they took after he shot their ships down to join the Odama Fleet while also threatening him. And he's soooo cunty about it it's so funny to me. Great job.

Tacking this on the end here: I had to look up the summary on the fatt.wiki because it's really been a while since I started this ep vs. finishing it, and this is like the first scene they play through. (The new season got in the way...!) But yeah this episode also has Grace's first real major appearance (& her Candidates, Vicuna). And it's a great scene! I think it's the first Divine onscreen? And showing one's influence on people ("People in the crowd, some of them begin crying and wailing. It is a religious experience for many."). It's good shit!!! I love Divines!!! They've never stopped being cool as fuck as a concept and there really wasn't a point when they weren't. It's just SO good and it'll only ever get pushed further and in even more interesting directions. And it's nice to be back here, at the start.

????

This is neither here nor there. Not anywhere really. But at some point Jack says "no that's undertale" (I didn't note down what about.) %& it really threw me for some reason like ik the years match up. But I just have C/W in mind as like... ages ago... (it was) and Undertale. Is Undertale. /I/ played Undertale! And that wasn't ages ago (lie) (it was)! Like I was probably playing Undertale when they made this season! Strange to think about.

Grace's arrival(?)

I want to try and draw a little image for each of these sets (though this one took me a bit longer than I would've liked). Here's Grace('s feet, because she's so big) and the sculpture park on Gemm

I'm not actually sure why (I don't think it gets mentioned in the episode???) but I've always imagined that planet (Gemm) as like, really foggy. Maybe because fog + ruined statue park looks really cool? + Graces light through the fog? Yeah, I don't know. The park is also empty here, when of course there's a whole parade and stuff in the episode, but this is just an image (an approximation of it.) I have in my head...

[byeler]

8, 31, and 54 !!

8. Favorite trope to write.

i answer with bedsharing every time bc it will NEVER miss so lemme think of a better answer. idk what to call it exactly but i love when characters kiss before they've admitted their feelings. the absolute height of tension and stupidity to be making out with someone and thinking "wow it sucks they don't actually like me :/" 10/10 hits every single time

31. Hardest character to write.

hmmm i tend to avoid writing some of the villains bc i do struggle with them a bit, especially bc we haven't seen all their motives so i'm not always sure where to go with them. i haven't done much with vecna for this reason

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

a lot of my writing tips tend to be organizational ones since i have adhd and my biggest struggles are all directly related to that but!!

-write it down as soon as you think it!! i will usually think of good lines for a scene i'm nowhere near ready to actually work on and if i don't write it then and there, i will forget it by the time i get to it. for long fics i sometimes have a separate document where i put random lines i think i'm gonna use later but don't have a place for yet

-highlight places to revisit!! i used to get SO hung up on certain words or phrases or just pieces that i didn't like but couldn't think of how to fix, but i didn't want to move forward bc i would forget to go back and fix it later. idk why it took me so long to figure out i can just highlight that section and keep writing. it's so easy for me to get distracted trying to find synonyms or researching like what color walls a character's bedroom has or whatever the fuck, and i'd waste so much time and end up down a youtube rabbit hole or some shit and completely lose my groove. i get mad when i think about how stupid i was not doing this before

-read dialogue out loud. i know everyone says this but just. do it. whisper shit to yourself in your bedroom like a dumbass. it absolutely helps you figure out phrasing and speech patterns and makes things sound so much more fluid and natural

-sometimes the best thing to do is just write a bunch of bullshit and go back and edit it into something legible. just getting words out is so helpful even if you know you're gonna change half of them in the long run

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

In the end

TNC and TNCA are pretty different entities -- TNC is a novel composed of a series of chapters, each of which is self-contained, whereas TNCA is a book-within-a-book.

This is important because I'm thinking about editing the thing. When I wrote TNC, the story really did not have a plot, and in fact all the characters could be eliminated without changing anything about the story's emotional arc. As of now, though, it does have a plot. It has a "central mystery," one that could reasonably be the subject of a whole book of its own; and (if I'm interpreting the ending right) its resolution will involve a lot of the events I wrote about, and will involve some of the major characters (or major character analogs).

In the past I've had a habit of cutting out all the stuff that doesn't contribute to the emotional arc. I think this is a very bad habit, because it encourages the assumption that everything does contribute to the emotional arc, and everything that doesn't is just, like, filler. It was one of my worst writing habits, and for many years it completely obstructed my attempts to finish TNC.

I now plan to try a different approach, one that will involve leaving in a bunch of chapters that don't contribute to the emotional arc so long as they don't make things too awkward for the reader. After all, it was all pretty arbitrary which scenes were going to be in the book in the first place. For a long time I didn't know what would get added or removed, and I'd made no promises about the relative amount of plot stuff in the book. So I can do whatever I want, without worrying that it means I have to write "filler" once I get past the end.

This should help a lot. I can't promise I'll be able to edit very much, because even after the editing I'll probably end up cutting out a bunch of stuff and adding a bunch of other stuff. But this new approach should help a lot.

(By contrast, once I've already written the whole book, I can't go back and replace stuff that made no sense until it did so I could preserve the emotional arc.)

I've seen a lot of people use the phrase "final draft," and I've been using it myself. I think this phrase doesn't really apply to a finished book. A final draft is like the first draft -- the draft that is still in the process of being written. It's a draft that someone still has time to edit, which will be completely replaced by a finished and polished version of the text some time later, at some point in time, on a specific date.

When I write the ending, I am writing something that is going to have to remain the ending. The story does not just have to end here, it has to end here in exactly the way I wrote it. That's not an option for stories in progress, at least not ones as long as TNC. When I'm done writing TNC, I'm not going to take it apart and rewrite the chapters. Even if I wanted to do that, I'd have to do it after I have a whole book already done, with all the editing already done, and I'm not going to do that. Not even with my own writing, which is often a very messy and unruly text, not something you'd want to see written as part of your personal canon.

Once I have something like the end of TNC done, it won't change unless I change it, unless someone else edits it. That's not exactly comforting, but it can't change unless I want it to, because there is no other ending to change to.

This applies to other parts of TNC as well. I may have to change how the characters look at things a little at the end -- and if I do, the end won't look exactly the same, because it cannot look exactly the same -- but I'm not planning to change that much once I'm done. Some things may change, but nothing major.

I could see myself changing the title, although not much. There's been some discussion of a "chronological/linear narrative" in these early parts of TNC, and maybe that's what I'll settle on once I'm done. It would make sense to make that sort of change, after all. I wrote them in order of when they took place, but that's an arbitrary ordering. I could say things ended chronologically if I wanted, and not in the order I wrote them.

So, that's where I'm at. At least to me, the very last chapter feels like the end -- not the end of a book that I'm about to write, but the end of an old one, the end of this whole thing. I think it's ready to go. I'm not sure what my editing plan will look like yet, and I'm not sure how many changes I'll have to make. But I'm at peace with the idea of it. For now.

[spoiledleaff]

some things from the ask game for you, my love!! <3 1. my favourite fic of yours: unholy eyes. not that i'm biased or anything... it astounds me every time i read it. dew's hesitancy and his undercurrent of self-loathing that rain slowly pushes away in favour of loving him?? impeccable. they/they rain??? amazing. URGH it's my favourite fic of all time. it's awe-inspiring. wonderful. fucking hot-

8. what i like most about your writing: i'm not sure of the best way to phrase it, but it's very artistic and descriptive!! i adore all the little bracket-paragraphs you throw in your fics for extra information. and your writing style is... flowy? artistic? i've always thought of it as quite metaphorical :) whatever the right descriptor for it is, i love your writing style <3

14. a fic i didn't expect to like so much: we dance once more (i feel your hands are cold) it's not that i didn't expect to like it, it's more that every time i reread it, i forget how much i love it!! something dewdrop being taken care of so lovingly is just very 🫠🫠🫠. i know the main 'plot' is kinda, uhm, porn, but it's one of my comfort fics for sure :)

i'd love to answer all of these, but i think i'll spare your poor ask box for now <3

my love, you do always know just how to spoil me :')

i really can't tell you how grateful i am to know that you enjoy unholy eyes. so much!!! i mean, it's your fic, ya know? :) i may or may not have been projecting onto both dew and rain quite a bit throughout the time i spent writing this fic, especially after that one conversation we had about feminizing clothing and our borderline catholic guilt, haha! oh! that's actually where that one line from rain came from; fun fact :) and they/them amab rain specifically will always have a special place in my heart! they're just so *feral screeching* you know? haha!!

whenever i see/read people telling me how much they enjoy my "flowery language", so to speak, i always get a little defensive, haha!! i enjoy writing, don't get me wrong! but there's something about when i read back my work to try and get a bit of editing in before posting it, and i just ready it... and read it, and read it, and i'm still reading and they haven't even boned yet???? haha!! i'm a little self-conscious about it actually, so if i ever say something like "oh my god i just posted smut and it's only 5k words???" and i'm very excited about it?? this is why, haha!! it's because of this that sun-kissed chocolate chips. is such a monument to me, almost. because it's under 10k words, haha!! but, needless to say, i'm more than overjoyed if a little apprehensive haha i'm so sorry when people tell me how much they enjoy my style of writing specifically!! it's definitely a bit of an insecurity of mine, haha. i mean, look at this response!! :'D

ah!! we dance once more (i feel your hands are cold). is such a guilty pleasure fic of mine, haha! it was something i had started casually after discovering the transfem sunshine headcanon, and i actually don't really remember writing the whole thing, haha! i just remember that this was as winter was just starting to roll in for me, and my fingers were fucking numb, haha!! hence the constant reminders of how chilly the abbey was! i also like the idea of dewdrop actively looking out for the siblings and abbey ghouls during this time, and his pack mates taking notice and caring for him in return :) i chose sunny, 'cause trans women are also very *more feral screeching* and rain just kinda wormed their way in there for the temperature difference :) i actually wasn't expecting a terribly lot of traction, especially considering how much of a guilty pleasure fic it was, haha!! but, to my surprise, it actually grew to become quite popular over time!!! :0

my love. NEVER SPARE MY ASK BOX. SLAUGHTER THAT THING BABY!!!! HAHAHA!!! i absolutely adore interacting with everyone!! and, as i'm sure you know, love, i always get so excited answering questions, haha!!

[mental-mario]

100%'ing Games and the Pressures of Perfectionism

"Hey baby I'm not your superhuman, and if that's what you want I hate to let you down. I got your hopes up, now I got you hoping that I'm gonna be the one to let you down."

If you know the song/band without looking it up, I f*** with you! 👌

I know there are many competitive gamers out there, but I am not particularly one of them. Don't get me wrong, I'm no slouch, but I sure do not claim to be an expert. If you beat me online, you won't be the first! 🤣

But I probably will beat you...if you want to find out, friend me on Switch with my friend code: SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401

Beat me, and I'll s*** your d*** (proverbially) with a shoutout, plug, whatever you like! (within reason) but WHEN I beat you, you gotta chuck a nice tip my way...because I want your tip, baby! Don't worry, I will appreciate you for it.

Anywho, back to the topic of this post, I was raised to be rather competitive, even though my nature is really not to be so competitive. For example, if I got a B for a grade, my parents would be concerned and ask why it wasn't an A. Needless to say, I'm a huge disappointment to my family in this life. Oh well...Comment below if you can relate to that! So it makes for an odd paradox in me of being highly competitive in some respects and not at all in others.

In terms of video games, there are many games I have beaten but not completed 100%. Two that come to mind are Super Mario World and Super Mario 64, but there are many others. It used to bother me quite a bit, due to my OCD, that I didn't finish every task and complete every achievement, even though it really means nothing.

I have also achieved high scores as a kid in the arcade for TMNT, where my name and score was posted up on the cabinet, until it was eventually beaten, and I also participated in the Donkey Kong Country competition edition at Blockbuster, where I had the high score almost to the end. Someone did wind up beating it, and I finished in 2nd place. I have finally accepted that about 25 years later, but I was pissed at the time when I was about 8 years old.

As good as I was in gaming, my friends were always more naturally competitive than me. I have one friend whom I used to beat senseless in Super Smash Bros Melee when we were high school seniors. Didn't matter if it was 4 players, one-on-one, items or not, and no matter what stage or other conditions, I would beat him every single time. I would be Mario and he would always be Captain Falcon. I was a gracious winner, and he was not. He was also a sore loser and couldn't accept losing. He would continue to challenge me for rematch after rematch all the way until 3am, when I would finally let him win a match so he could screech victoriously and I could go home to get some sleep! He never did seem to question the fact that I would always win until that final match...and of course, I had to make it look competitive or else he wouldn't accept the win and harass me for yet another match.

I've known many people growing up who were similar in that they were completely incapable of accepting a defeat or even a setback. They took the phrase "win or die" too literally and grew up competitive to what I believe amounts to a very unhealthy level. I'm thankful to say I have laid down the conditioning of perfectionism and have accepted that I am, of course, not perfect nor do I pretend to be. I think everyone accepts that they aren't perfect, but the attitude and approach and veneer that they were on a daily basis promotes themselves as nothing but perfect. Perfect status, perfect life, perfect possessions, perfect friends, perfect relationship, perfect family, perfect parents, perfect career...you get the gist. Any veering off course of this image portrayed to the world can send one spiraling out of control into a pattern of self destruction, self sabotage, and self abuse (and regular abuse as well). Might be why we as a society need to get super intoxicated on the regular, so as to be able to tolerate ourselves and our shortcomings that we were taught to never embrace, display, or learn how to harness into a strength in our lives.

I'm rambling on now, so forgive me. I have recently reached a more manic, creative and inspired state, so I'm on a bit of a roll now. I've also begun jotting notes towards a script/storyline for a game that came to me last night. Came so hard that me and it were practically up all night together. That said, I'll look to share that in a future post, as long as you promise to click Follow and like the post because I can use your friendship...for my personal gain!!! Hahahahaa!!!!

Wait, did I say that out loud? Whoops!

Please donate as well because I can also use your financial support. The bigger the donations, the better the gifts get! Last gift winner requested to stay anonymous, but thank you so much anyway!

Friend me on Switch and send an invite my way! I'll be happy to help you reach a high score or if you'd rather compete, I can put you in your place...8th! 😁

Until next time, friends, keep your heads up and remember that life squashes us all sometime, but it eventually gets up off of you so it can go squash someone else! (cheery, ain't I)

[jaderimehardt]

Resin First Attempts

Ohhhh, where do I even start~?

In one of my previous posts, I said as soon as I get enough things, I will go out in the garage and start tinkering around even if it's 11pm, midnight, or 1am- didn't I? Yeah, well, that happened, Lol 😅. I was outside in the garage until 2:30am and probably didn't make it to bed until around 3:15am-ish. Details. (I forget when I started, uh, 6pm?)

Second day I went out there earlier but I was probably still out there for about 8-hours? Time can fly by quick this craft! And you don't even notice it. Holy geez.

The first night taking so long, made sense. I was trying to organize things, pull out tools for the first time. Basically get acquainted with my 'Mise en place' (totally a cooking phrase but whatever, I'm using it here).

I've only made 6 bezels so far, and used some of my extra resin in some earring molds (that I haven't added backings to yet) but...! Right now I'm just toying around with techniques and trying to get the hang of things. I think I even already found a new one? I've watched so many resin videos and I've yet to see anyone do this thing 🤔

Anyhow. Here are my very first bezels 😊

Some of these pictures were taken on a cloudy day and some were not... I didn't edit the lighting in photoshop either. And on top of that- I took some pictures next to my backdoor, some in my bedroom, and some in my garage where I've been making these. I did this intentionally to show the lighting variations of the resin, coloring, mica powder, glitters, etc etc.

That potion bottle was my very FIRST one. I'm likely going to keep that one forever as a memento. I had zero intention at the start to add the hearts but had a lightbulb 💡 moment.

Dr. Stone inspiration kicked in and I instantly thought of Senku's love potion at the start of the anime 🤣. In hindsight I should have used the round potion bottle but the love potion idea was literally an afterthought - still came out cute as heck, imo.

If you're wondering about the snowflake ones when it's the beginning of Spring- I was trying really hard to get a Captain Hitsugaya (Bleach) themed bezel but it just wasn't happening for me 🫠

This purple one is a prime example of how different lightings can make a bezel look different. It has me questioning how I want to post this on Etsy in the future 🤔. Many pictures I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wanted something quite literally like a teardrop....? This one has the smallest imperfection in the world that I can see at the weirdest angle if I look at it really hard, LOL. I know it's stupid, but I'm OCD like that. Uhhh... I probably need a better light in the garage so I can avoid this in the future. I think I didn't see a bubble before curing or something. Not 100% sure.

This one has an aurora+pearl mix type mica and aurora glitter so it's constantly shifting colors in the sunlight. It also has intentional ombre, though it's not as dramatic as I wanted. Yeah... definitely a trial and error learning process going on here, lol. I still very much like how it came out. I added the shining star at the bottom to symbolize 'a light in the darkness'.

Couple last shots of some already seen ones- garage shot + bedroom shot. Just to show varying lighting.

Don't worry, I'm not going to do this every time (I think). Maybe 1-2. One near sunlight and one against a white backdrop that I'll setup somewhere. Seems more professional that way, less messy, and maybe my posts won't be a novel long each time 🙃

>>>

Oh let me add a couple somethings!

🔹 I'm still working on getting my Etsy up. I think I just need a banner and an icon? Smol simple things really. There might be more but I think that's it. Aside from me learning how to actually post a listing. I probably won't start selling anything until I get better at this though and feel confident with it. ALSO, I still haven't received the packaging supplies I ordered (bubble mailers). Who knows when I'll get that.

🔹 Yes, those are a bunch of octopus plushies in the background of my pictures. Be prepared to see them a lot, and a lot more other octopuses in my pictures. They are everywhere. Octos are friends in this house 🐙💓