#edit: whoops i meant to save this as a draft

[disasterjones]

cool cool cooool glad I just spent an hour and a half writing up a post that tumblr decided it would not let me saaaave super doooooooooope

[national-nobody-writes]

2020 Creator Wrap

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

I was tagged by the oh so talented @irolltwenties!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I’m not a particularly prolific writer (WIPs for days, but completed projects? Not so much). Somehow in this hell year though, I did manage to complete more fics than in any previous year for a total of seven new works (~49k words, all on ao3), plus a chunky chap of a long running WIP (~20k words) so I’m actually pretty damn proud of myself! I also made some new fandom friends in 2020 which has easily been one of the biggest delights of the year & has definitely helped my creative momentum, so ty all for that. <3

Counting down from 5, here are my favs:

5. Downtime

I have endless love for JayRoy and it felt so good to finally finish something for them for once this year! All of my past WIPs primarily focused on them ended up firmly in my graveyard folder, including the fic that this one shot was originally meant to be connected to. I liked the way this turned out well enough to clean it up and post it on its own though, so at least now I can say that I have something published for them at last.

(Also it got me back into the JayRoy headspace enough to outline a whole YJ/Earth16 JayRoy fic that I’m excited to start drafting in 2021, so we’ll see where that goes...)

2.3k NSFW; A mix of playful sweet and roughness, just like them.

4. Mirror Image

Bluepulse Week really saved me this year in terms of forcing me to just write, damn it! Did I finish all the prompts this year? Nope. Did it get me to complete a handful of fics that I ended up really loving? Yes. This was one of them.

This fic zoomed into existence entirely out of necessity as an alt idea to a prompt that I had a much longer idea for, but didn’t have time to complete. It then got a positive enough reception that I decided to turn it from a crack-adjacent, passable one-shot to a slightly more developed two-shot by request of one of my commenters. Really, it was writing that second chapter that ended up endearing the fic to me.

6.3k Humor, time travel shenanigans & accidental dating. This fic is the sweetness of teenage crushes, the confusing mess of discovering your sexuality, & laughter with your best friend.

3. Soft Wesper One Shots

Would you look at that, another nsfw piece. Could it be that I’m starting to get to the point where I can look back at completed nsfw fics without cringing terribly? Love that for me.

This fic took me by surprise, tbh. I wouldn’t consider myself a part of the grisaverse fandom (I’m utterly ambivalent toward the OG trilogy & have no plans to read them), but I did fall deeply in love with the whole Six of Crows gang earlier this year to the point of having quite the book hangover afterward, unable to pick up anything else except related fanfic for a couple weeks straight. These fluffy, nsfw scenes were born out of that, and I was pleasantly surprised to see such a positive response to them in the comments. The whole SoC gang has my heart, but the dynamic between Jesper and Wylan in particular got my writing fingers itching.

3.7k Domestic, post-canon fluff & tender sex with flirty Jesper & blushing Wylan abound.

2. Stick With Me

Ohh, I still get warm fuzzies thinking about this fic! If I’m only low-key proud of the first three on this list, this is one I’m legitimately very proud of. I had this idea on the docket already from a convo with @ivyxwrites early this year (or maybe last year? who knows, time means nothing anymore) but used Bluepulse Week as the excuse to finally get started, and I ended up adoring the process of writing it far more than I anticipated.

As much as I love planning out meticulously crafted, plotty stories, sometimes all you want to do is pick some well-loved tropes out of a hat instead and run with them (in this case: stuck in a cabin, only one bed, & heated argument leading to confession). It was freeing to just mess around and have fun with this fic, knowing pretty much right from the get-go how I wanted it to unfold and seeing it so vividly in my mind. It also probably helped that I was writing it for Ivy; it’s much easier for me to stay motivated when creating directly for my friends.

Finishing this was also such a serotonin-filled burst of pure victory for me since, as previously stated, I’m terrible at finishing projects--particularly multi-chap fics, particularly within a decent timeframe.

25.5k A showcase of the essence of what I love about the best friends-to-lovers dynamic. Part character study, part wires getting crossed & uncrossed, and whole idiots to lovers. This fic is the warmth in the pit of your stomach from a yearning made real & the sudden clarity of realizing what you were looking for had already been there all along.

1. The Rest Pt 1: Delicate (Remember Me Chap 4)

Oh, Remember Me. Of everything I’ve ever written, this story remains the one I’m most proud of and certainly the closest to my heart (not to mention the longest running, whoops). The first iteration of the beginning of this story was actually drafted back in 2017, but I walked away from it for a couple of years before deciding to dust it off and try again. It has spiraled into something far bigger in scope than I originally planned for, but I’ve come to love the path it’s led me down so far, and finishing this whopping 20k chunkster of a chapter was like breathing a huge (if temporary) sigh of relief.

This chap was particularly cathartic to write because it allowed for a number of convos between the boys that had really needed to happen, and was finally the ‘getting together’ moment the fic had been building toward for a while. It’s also so sappy I could die, but I will not be apologizing for that, lol. I was really hoping to get Chap 5 up this year as well, but y’know. Sometimes things just don’t work out like you plan for and that’s okay. 

Chap 5 does have 17k done already (with prob another 5-8k still to go) & I’m itching to share it, but no sense in rushing if the end result would suffer for it. Luckily, everyone in comments has been kind enough to beat me over the head with ‘take your time, we don’t mind/we’ll still be here!!!’ which I’m immensely grateful for. So, at least the pressure to hurry up and get it done is purely self-inflicted.

Of all my works, this fic has not only gotten the most passionate responses, but has also been the main gateway for me to interact with other bluepulse creators, which has been a real joy. Nothing brightens my day like the essays people leave me over there from time to time after discovering the fic. That kind of engagement is the highest praise, & responding is very self indulgent fun for me (bc, clearly, I could go on and on about this fic & YJ in general forever).

54.8k total so far (WIP). Bart & Jaime’s relationship journey from beginning to ‘current day’ (aka the moment the fic begins), using amnesia/memory restoration as a framing device. The high highs and low lows of first love, navigating a 3 yr age difference, and the long, winding road from best friends to lovers as the years roll on. Slow-burn-adjacent (in terms of both the boys’ relationship to each other and reader’s relationship to the fic bc of how long I take between goddamn updates).

Tagging @ivyxwrites, @incorrectbatfam, @paintingwithdarkness, @bluepulsebluepulse

[enchanted-prose]

#10 Renegade Niece

i’m treating myself because I liked writing this and I wrote an impossibly long essay :,)

Word count: 5,294

Characters: Roden, Jaron, Ayvar (Original character), Jamie Todd (Original character), Merry (Original character), Nila

Notes: Edited and my goodness I just loved writing this. Also I forgot to put in lines for the last two submissions and I’m so sorry. There is one important vibe that I’m going to discuss; consider how it feels when your pet begins chewing something they’re no supposed to, and when you tell them to stop, they start chewing faster leaving you no choice but to run at them.

Sleep wasn’t something that Roden excelled at. He fell asleep whenever and wherever he did.

And it just so happened that this time, he’d fallen asleep with his head on his desk.

“Rise and shine!” Bellowed an all too familiar voice, successfully bringing a wave of sound into the once silent office.

Startled, Roden lurched backwards, his chair tipping dangerously backwards until it hit the floor, taking him with it. He shut his eyes. “Good morning Jaron.”

“There’s business to discuss, we can’t have you sleeping.”

“I know, Jaron, I know. Give me a moment, I already have a list of things I need to do.”

Although Jaron was standing at the opposite end of the room, Roden could sense his smug grin. Jaron cleared his throat. “I only wake you this early because I have to ask a favor.”

“And that is?” Roden asked, sincerely hoping it had nothing to do with waxing the hair off of his legs. Jaron had proposed that once, and every member of the king’s circle learned the importance of keeping Jaron occupied with trivial matters in addition to his political duties.

Late morning light glowed all around the room. Roden blinked several times as his head began to plant itself in the waking world. Jaron was dressed in his usual plain clothing, lucky him.

Roden wanted to scrub his teeth clean.

He hated it when he slept in his office.

“I, ah, told Mott to take it easy today because of the events from two nights ago. He has a few reports that need to be looked over and signed.”

“How many reports are there?”

It didn’t actually matter, Roden had every intention of doing them anyways

Jaron scoffed, “I don’t know the answer to that.”

“And when do they need to be finished?”

“Tonight, if possible.”

Roden groaned, and dragged himself to his feet, pulling a piece of paper from his forehead. “Alright, consider them done. But I won’t be able to spar today, Jaron, I have too many things to do.”

“It’s not a problem,” Jaron scratched the back of his head. He looked tired. “Feall is convinced that we have a vital playing piece in our custody, the girl who was captured the night he was attacked.”

The details from that night were still fresh in Roden’s mind.

He went over them as often as he could, always trying to find connections. The girl who’d been taken into custody, a member of the Faola, was somebody Roden had met before. She’d been in the Vaults one night when Roden was on patrol, and allegedly she was assisting another member of her gang in saving a trio of children from a horrific fate.

She’d told him her name: Ayvar.

Ayvar with scarlet hair who bent the rules to help other people.

It was hard to believe that somebody who would brave the Vaults would be driven to cut the head off of another human being.

There was something not quite right about the situation.

“I can see smoke coming out of your ears, are you thinking?”

“Shut up, Jaron.”

“Definitely thinking. Be careful, it’s dangerous.”

“Thank you for your concern,” Roden pinched the bridge of his nose for a split second. “Have you received any information about Queen Danika’s representatives?”

Hesitation visibly weighed on Jaron’s every move. He finally nodded. “They’ve been combing through nearby towns, and will be here tomorrow. I suspect that they will want to interview the girl who attacked Feall.”

“I told Amarinda she was allowed to visit Ayvar if she wanted, I think she’d have more progress than a group of investigators.”

“Good move, is it wrong to say I’m curious about the results?”

“So long as nobody is hurt in the process, I think it’s fine to want to know how it all ends,” Roden gestured to the door. “I’m going to check on her if you’d like to come with me.”

“Amarinda? I don’t think she’d like to be-”

“Ayvar, I meant. I’d be responsible if something happened to her.”

Jaron stepped out of Roden’s office, and combed his hand through his unruly hair. “You think she’s innocent?”

“I try to believe everyone isn’t as bad as everyone says until it can be proven true,” Roden shrugged. He rubbed his eyes.

The dungeons in the castle were odd, particularly because they provided a decent amount of space in each cell. Roden had seen all too many dungeons crafted out of caves and tunnels only big enough for a child. The scent of moldy food was a smell Roden would never come to appreciate. Jaron laughed at him when he stepped away from the mangy guard dog.

There was no telling what would happen if the mongrel bit him.

Roden tried not to think about how he’d die, but he certainly didn’t want his cause of death to be because of a nasty, dirty mutt.

Ayvar had been placed in the last cell. She’d braided her flaming hair around her head, likely to keep it out of the dirt. When Roden and Jaron approached, she sat straight up, her hands cradling her knees to her chest.

“Everything been alright?” Roden asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I suppose,” Ayvar frowned. “I’d rather not be here.”

“I’d rather that you didn’t attack my friends.” Jaron’s biting tone caused her to flinch.

“You don’t really think I was stupid enough to do that, right?”

“I’ve seen plenty of people doing stupid things.”

Roden nodded in agreement. Just the other day, he’d watched Merry shove herself into a barrel and roll off of a bridge into the Roving River. He’d also seen Jaron almost get away with sledding down the grand staircase in the throne room. However, Mott had been there to save the day.

But that unfortunately didn’t stop Jaron from trying to do it again.

Ayvar scowled, “It. Wasn’t. Me.”

“But you were there,” Roden pointed out.

“I was there because I didn’t think the plan would go through!”

“So you knew there was a plan. Who thought of it, if it wasn’t you?”

“I-,” Ayvar jumped to her feet, fire blazing in her eyes. “It’s probably a false name. Goes by all sorts of nicknames, we started calling her Patches. But the arbitrator is a woman, like me.”

“I hate false names,” Jaron mused.

“Ironic,” Roden noted.

"You have to believe me when I say that I wasn't responsible," Ayvar's voice was rising. "I don't care what anyone else says, it wasn't my fault!"

Her voice echoed through the dungeon, and received a bark of disapproval from the guard hound.

Jaron inhaled, "If what you say is true, then we'll release you, I can promise you that."

"It is true and I'll prove it. If Harlowe won't listen to me, then I'll go to Feall. He and I fought our patched enemy together."

"I do recall you saying your patched enemy was actually your friend, at one point," Roden noted. He was still getting used to having a surname to claim.

"That's not true anymore, otherwise I  wouldn't have been left in here."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want your pity."

"Then you won't get our company either," Jaron shot back as he walked away from Ayvar's cell.

Roden stared at Ayvar, but left before she could throw any words at him. She went back to sitting in the corner, and said nothing as footsteps rang through the quiet dungeon.

A courtier was waiting for them halfway down the steps, and promptly dragged Jaron away to attend a meeting with King Oberson. Roden seized his chance to return to his chambers and scrub his teeth and face.

He'd almost managed to shave when he heard the clatter of stones from the courtyard.

Through his window, Roden could see a group of pock marked boys, their sizes varying, but their intentions the same: Torment Ayvar by throwing insults and rocks into her cell.

Abandoning the razor, Roden left his chambers, tugged a doublet over his head, and prepared himself for shooing away a gaggle of bored brats.

Too much had happened during the past few weeks. The stone-throwing boys were added to Roden's long long list of things that annoyed him.

One of the boys stood out from the rest, Jamie Todd. He'd thrown the first stone. Roden recognized him. Jamie was among the boys who were desperately hoping to somehow gain a knighthood. Hoping to mean something more.

That wouldn't happen so long as he was throwing stones at a girl in a cell.

Was having a little bit of peace in the courtyard too much to ask?

A loud whoop erupted from the boys, one of the stones had probably found its mark. Jamie waved his arms above his head as he did an odd victory dance. They'd been clever enough to draft up a little song:

When Daftie Ayvie passed away,

Whadya think they done?

Chopped her up a fishin’ bait:

Copper for a ton!

Devils have the guards on patrol who let the stones be-

A newcomer had joined the group. A girl. A head shorter than half of the boys. Much shorter than Jamie Todd, who was almost the size of Mott.

Mangled hair, holes in her chemise's shoulders. Merry had come to pick a bone.

"Fe-fi-fo fum!" Merry jabbed her finger at Jamie. "I smell the stink of a big boy's bum!"

"Hey!" Jamie cried, all of his attention glued to Merry.

Roden should have seen it coming.

Merry jabbed her elbow into Jamie's stomach, and down, down, down he went. The other boys scrambled away as Merry grabbed Jamie by the ears.

"She's going to tear them clean off!"

"Get some help!"

"My ears! Don't! You'll rip them-!

"Can't help it! Your ears are wonderfully handy!" Merry taunted. "They're like mug handles!"

Roden dashed across the courtyard as Merry slammed Jamie's head into the ground, resulting in his howls echoing across the courtyard. She triumphantly demanded an apology for throwing stones at Ayvar, but none came.

"Somebody help me!" Jamie bellowed, moments before Merry cracked her head against his.

"See the lovely stars, Jamie!"

"She's kilt me!"

"You're going to wish you'd been kilt you mangy, slimy, son of a-!"

In Merry's hubris, she'd forgotten about pinning down Jamie's hands. He swung his fist into the side of her head. Although she wobbled, she didn't topple over.

"I see a bit of brains dribbling-!" Smack! "-out of your ear!"

"Get off of me! Help! She's kilt me!"

"Pity your mother didn't cook you longer," Merry snipped, prepping to bash Jamie's head into the cobblestones again.

Roden finally managed to wedge his arms between Merry and Jamie, while Lieutenant Alistair picked up Merry by the waist, and dragged her off of Jamie. Roden nodded his thanks as Merry cursed and kicked and Jaimie wept as he covered his ears. He was convinced that his brain was bleeding out from his nose.

"I'll take care of the kids," Roden noted, motioning to the large fountain in the middle of the courtyard.

"Yes sir!" Alistair boomed as he somehow managed to keep Merry from escaping to beat the other boys as well.

"Stand up," said Roden as he let go of Jaimie. He then instructed him to follow his finger as he moved it back and forth in front of Jamie's eyes.

He wasn't sure how rattled Jamie's  brains were.

"I'm kilt," he wailed. "I'm a member of the undead. I’ll never be a knight now!"

"Not quite, but I hope you've learned something."

"I learned that I hate girls!"

"You'll have a lonely life then, I suppose. Don't throw stones at people worse off than you Jamie, it's not what a knight would do."

Jamie wiped his nose, which had finally stopped bleeding. "I'm- I'm sorry we were- we were just bored."

"Don't apologize to me. You have my permission to be inspected by the castle physician. I'll have my lieutenant escort you."

If he hadn't just been smacked around, Roden was certain Jamie would've fallen to his knees with gratitude. Speaking to the captain of the guard and being around Sir Alistair Derforgall in one day? It was any aspiring soldier's dream.

Roden had been in those shoes once. Idolizing Carthya's heroes.

But you couldn't be a hero and throw stones at prisoners in cells.

Alistair had seated Merry on the edge of the fountain. She crossed her arms. “I’m too angry to give a genuine apology right now, but I do feel bad, so I’m sorry. Give me a few hours before I have to say it to Jamie. I don’t like giving empty apologies.”

“Weren’t you just telling me about being safe while throwing a punch?” Roden asked.

“That’s because I’d- gah, don’t remind me.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the Dragon’s Keep?”

“Ayvar is my friend, I came to check on her,” Merry shrugged. “Dawn gave me twenty minutes, but I’ve used up that time in, ah, not very smart ways. Did you forget to shave?”

Roden held completely still as Merry trailed both of her fingers across his stubbled face. “I was in a hurry.”

“I kind of like it.”

“Really?”

“I mean, I just like you, shaved or unshaved.”

“You’re a grisly sight. Best mop you up before you return,” he grinned. Roden then pointed to his left eyebrow, where a long, thin scar started just above his eyebrow and dipped down to the top of his cheekbone. “I’ve had a few head wounds myself.”

A smile tugged at Merry’s mouth, and she visibly tried to fight it with a frown. “I suppose we’ll match.”

“We’ll have to see.”

“There’s no point to life if I don’t have a scar that makes people wonder if I’m secretly a pirate.”

“Are you secretly a pirate?” Roden pulled a spare handkerchief from his doublet pocket, “I suppose it’s my turn to clean you up, would you prefer your own spit or fountain water?”

“I’d prefer your spit, actually.”

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t say that.”

“Because it makes you uncomfortable?”

“Quite the contrary, I think there’s a better way to exchange spit than-,” Roden cleared his throat. “I take that back. It does make me uncomfortable.”

It seemed that Merry was uncomfortable too. Her face had gone redder than the blood dripping from the cut on her forehead. “I’ll take water. It’s, ah, really warm.”

She was right, the summer morning sun was beating down on the two of them. Roden cupped the unbloodied side of her face as gingerly as he could. He wet the cloth, knelt on the ground in front of her, and forced himself not to grin as he began wiping the blood off of her forehead.

The frown faltered.

“So,” Merry said.

It wasn’t exactly a question, it was more of an invitation. There was no obligation for Roden to say anything if he wanted to. He was allowed to speak about anything that he chose to do. He could talk about the situation with Ayvar. He could talk about how his niece, Nila, wanted to have a picnic for her tenth birthday and that he didn’t know what to get her. He could talk about how he’d begun to see his childhood friend’s death in his dreams.

How he feared that there was something hiding in plain sight.

Something awful.

She was giving him a choice.

And that made him want to tell her everything.

“I have extra reports I need to file tonight,” Roden said as he wet a new portion of his handkerchief. “But I’ve spent too much time in my office. Makes me lonely.”

“Don’t your friends pay attention to you?” Merry arched her unbloodied eyebrow.

He shrugged, “From time to time. They don’t tell me colorful stories about fish hitting my face.”

That made her smile.

“By the way, I never thanked you for the coin you gave me. Where’s it from? I don’t recognize the design.”

“It’s from my home, but it’s not accepted here. Figured I’d give you a trinket. Have you considered getting a pet mountain cat to keep you company?”

“Unfortunately, the royal mountain cat keeper is fresh out of them.”

Merry’s eyes drifted shut, and Roden did his best not to think of the way her body relaxed as he continued supporting her. “Why not come to the Dragon’s Keep? It’s the slowest day of the week, I can help you. I can even promise extra lemon cream tarts.”

“Would I have to share?”

“With me, of course.”

“Promises you’ll make sure it’s a fair share?”

Merry pressed a bruised hand to her heart, “I never lie, Captain Harlowe.”

He hoped she didn’t see his ears beginning to burn. Roden managed to clear away the drying blood on Merry’s face, and ordered the nearest page to get strips of gauze. “I, ah, I’m going to make sure the wound doesn’t bleed through. Is that alright?”

“I only ask that you make me look as much like a plague victim as possible,” Merry was fiddling with her hands.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

To his surprise, when Roden drew away from Merry’s face, she pressed his hand back into place. “No wait, I’m hoping I can siphon away your extreme battle abilities.”

“Not quite sure how true that is.”

“I told you before, I don’t lie.”

“Not quite sure how true that is either.”

Once again, her face flushed bright red. Merry shoved his hand away, “Thanks, ah, uh, thanks for helping me.”

“It’s only fair.” Roden scratched the back of his neck.The page returned with a small roll of gauze. Roden began setting strips of it on the horizontal gash on Merry’s forehead. “You should probably come up with a story about why you look like a plague victim.”

“I’m thinking that I had three eyes at one point, but I tragically lost my third eye while hunting for a golden potato.”

“Not quite what I was expecting, but I’ll take it. Is there more to it?”

“Do you like hearing me talk, Captain?”

“I’ve told you it’s alright to call me by my name,” Roden said, deftly avoiding her question.

She patted the side of his face, “Captain, my friend, at one point I had a third eye, and it helped me see into the ground. I could find all sorts of buried treasure, making me the most valued person in the Eranbole sea. . .”

Words of third eyes and buried treasure fell short on Roden’s ears. As Merry continued weaving her grand story about pirates and sea monsters, his gaze fell on a curious mark on her bare shoulder.

A jagged scar.

As he finished setting the last piece of gauze on Merry’s cut, he found himself brushing his thumb over the scar, wondering where it came from.

Scars carried stories, whether good or bad.

What had Merry done to get a scar on her shoulder? There were others near it, many of them were hiding underneath her printed chemise. Marks of the past. All pale and pink against her skin.

Merry went completely silent, and Roden flinched once he realized what he’d done.

Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look.

Devils have him. Roden looked right at Merry’s crimson face, stared right at those mausoleum grey eyes.

Don’t be the first to look away, don’t be the first to look away-

Suddenly the cobblestones became very interesting.

“I, ah, I’m-,” she stuttered, both of her hands going to tug on her earlobes.

Roden all but jumped to his feet, “I have to go now.”

“I don’t think so, I’m not quite finished with our conversation.”

Roden rubbed the back of his neck, desperate to be away from his mistake.

But he couldn’t bring himself to walk away.

“Treat me like a princess, Roden, please,” Merry said, bouncing back from the awkward moment. She held out her hand, palm down, expectant.

A series of scars were visible on her third and fourth fingers, just below the nails. Roden forced himself not to look too long, and took Merry by the hand, “My apologies, lady.”

In a grand motion, Merry waved her hand across the open air, “No apologies are needed sir knight. You’ll find I am quite spotted all over, and not from freckles.”

“I’m really sorry if-,” He began, but Merry was one step ahead of him.

“No, no, don’t be sorry, it’s really alright. I got that scar as a child. My favorite method of travel was jumping rock to rock, and I missed my target once.”

“I’m sure all toads everywhere envied your skill.”

“Oh they did, trust me, they did. I’d ah, I’d tell you more . . But you’ll have to forgive me for leaving so soon, Dawn’s going to have my head if I’m late.”

He didn’t want to admit that he didn’t like watching her leave. 

----------------------------------------------

Nila sat on his desk, swinging her legs. Her long golden hair had been pinned on her head, and yet despite the obvious effort that had been put into it, several strands had managed to escape. Dirt stains pooled at her elbows.

She was doing a wondrous job holding a stack of papers for Roden.

“I found a cool feather today, but I dropped it in the river,” Nila mused, a slight frown appearing on her rosy face. “It had stripes.”

“A striped feather, you say?” Roden made a face.

“Black and white, I thought it would look cool as a mast for a stick ship, but I got so excited about it, I dropped it.”

“Then I’ll have to help you find another one.”

Nila tapped her boot heel against the desk, “I’m free on every second day of the week, but only in the afternoons. I can fit you into my schedule.”

“You have a schedule now, do you?” He caught himself chuckling. “I would gladly take any available time that I can.”

Everywhere, there were reports hiding. Roden managed to gather all of Mott’s reports, but unfortunately, had managed to lose track of half of his own. He pawed through every drawer he could, every shelf and cabinet.

If it weren’t for Nila keeping track of what had been found and what hadn’t, he would’ve wasted much more time.

How could he let himself get so disorganized?

Roden ran his hands through his hair, “I think that’s all we’re going to find.”

“I can take a turn looking,” Nila offered. She grinned, a pair of dimples making their appearance. “You’ve obviously got something else on your mind.”

“I don’t- I, ah, everything’s under control.”

Although everything didn’t really feel like it was under control. Roden once again ran his hands through his hair, thinking of anything he might’ve missed. Several hours had passed since he’d last seen Merry. It wouldn’t be long before sunset.

“Are you meeting somebody?” Asked Nila, her boot beating out a new rhythm. “Are you going on patrol again?”

“No, no,” Roden said, walking from his desk to the door. “I mean, yes, I’m going to be with a friend of mine. No patrolling for me though, that’s tomorrow night.”

“That’s interesting. Much more interesting than my evening, anyway.”

“I thought you had a busy schedule, sounds pretty exciting to me.”

“Being busy doesn’t mean I’m having fun. Where are you going?”

“Sounds like you’re planning on trying to come with me. . .”

Nila frowned as deeply as she could. “I’m just asking!”

As he paced back and forth, Roden smiled. He was walking to the beat of Nila’s boot hitting the desk. That drew a grin out of her once he mentioned it to her.

He loved being with Nila. She was charming and bursting with life, and made his day a little bit brighter. In time, he saw her as more of a little sister than a niece.

There were many things Roden would always regret.

Things like never knowing his dead brother; Nila’s father.

Too many opportunities had been lost, and Roden was determined not to lose any more precious moments. He’d been cheated out of years and years of memories.

It was time to make new ones.

But he wasn’t sure if taking a ten year old girl to a tavern was one of them.

“Please, please, please, please, please take me with you,” Nila begged. “I don’t want to have to take tea with Lady Orlaine’s whatever they are.”

“Lady Orlaine’s wards?” Roden offered.

“Yes! Them! They’re mean to me, dreadfully boring too. I call them the Greys. Because they make everything grey around them, get it?”

Roden took the numerous papers from Nila and shoved them into a satchel. He’d have to depend on Merry for ink, he didn’t trust himself not to spill any as he walked across Drylliad.

He wouldn’t be able to know if the Dragon’s Keep was truly empty until he got there, and he’d rather not risk taking Nila to a place not quite appropriate for a child.

She took the rejection well, however, Roden wished he’d been able to bring her with him.

The regret was even worse the moment Roden stepped into the Dragon's Keep, only to find that it was as empty as Merry claimed it was.

Aside from the old man strumming a lute in the corner, the only sound was a ghost of a conversation from the back.

Dawn was behind the counter, her grey streaked hair piled into a bun on top of her head.

Another barmaid was sitting in the corner beside a young man. No sign of Merry.

"Captain! It's nice to see you!" Dawn called, waving her cloth in greeting.

"It's nice to be here," Roden countered with a smile.

She turned around, and retrieved a large tankard, "Are you looking for a drink?"

"Oh! No, no, I'm looking for a person, actually. It's Merry, actually, she wanted to talk."

"I'm sure she did, I'm sure she did. Merry! It's rude to keep a guest waiting!"

The conversation grew louder, louder, louder, until finally, Merry came strutting out. She’d changed her chemise, this one was green and hid her scarred shoulder. A patterned scarf rested neatly over her hair and behind her ears.

She pointed at the mass of gauze on her head, “Still in one piece!”

“I’m not surprised, you can hold your own,” Roden grinned. Now comfortable, he set his paper filled satchel on the wooden countertop, and perched on a tall stool.

“You should see her fight a door, it’s quite frightening,” teased Dawn.

“They are the bane of my existence.” Merry stared hard at the front door, and shook her fist at it before bursting into a series of snickers.

“A truly noble quest.”

Merry snatched a used tankard, and began scrubbing at the insides. Her smile faltered, “How’s Jamie Todd?”

“He’s alright, just a little concerned that he was caught throwing stones at a person.”

“Good, that’s good. You sure he’s fine?”

“Saw him myself a few hours ago,” Roden said. He retrieved a few reports, and set them on the counter. “Do you have-?”

“Ink? Right here,” Merry reached below the counter. “And we have a variety of writing tools to choose from too.”

“Don’t use the quill!” Dawn ordered from the other end of the bar. The door opened and closed. “Take care of that guest!”

The glass Merry had been scrubbing at clinked against the counter. Her brows screwed together, “I’ll take care of it.”

“What are you-,” Roden began, but Merry snapped her fingers near his face. He brushed her hands away, “I know, I know, I need to get my work done.”

“I’ll check back in on you in a moment, have that other guest to see,” Merry leaned over the bar, and smoothed her hand over Roden’s head.

He glared at the first report waiting to be finished. Check the details. Signature here, signature there. Next report. Check the details. Signature here, signature there, and so on and so forth. He caught a few snippets from Merry’s conversation with the new guest.

Something about lemon cream tarts.

Saints, he really wanted one of-

No! He had to do a report first!

Report first, tart later!

Merry set a hand on his shoulder, “Your handwriting.”

“I know, I know, it’s messy,” Roden shrugged.

“I was going to say that I like it, sir knight.”

Oh.

She disappeared behind the bar, reappearing moments later with a lemon cream tart in each hand. Roden received his first, much to his delight, and technically, he did manage to finish two reports.

He deserved a tart.

“-I completely understand! Court life is horrifically boring,” Merry said, her voice barely audible above the lute strings.

“I’m glad somebody gets it!” Chirped the guest, their voice oddly familiar.

But not familiar enough to draw his attention away from his blasted reports.

The lemon cream tart made it easier to bear.

Snippets of the conversation still drifted into Roden’s atmosphere. Merry laughed, “And is there anything else I can get you?”

“No thank you, but I do appreciate that you asked me,” came the reply.

And then Merry’s hand was back on his shoulder, asking him if there was anything she could do to help. Unless she was good at forgery, there wasn’t much she could do.

Roden scribbled through report after report, firmly aware that Merry was watching his every move.

He managed to finish the tart just as he finished his first pile of reports.

“And onto the next one,” Roden mumbled.

“Ah, ah, ah, take a tiny break, Captain,” Merry chided. She set her hands on Roden’s, “One stack is worth a victory celebration.”

“Do I get another tart?”

“Possibly, unless you’d prefer a pie.”

Pies were good, when baked properly.

Merry’s hands were cool on his palms.

Cool on his battle torn hands.

They fit too well in his own. A little too nicely. It was impossible to timidly turn his palms up, impossible not to hold Merry’s rough fingers.

He supposed he preferred that to a tart.

And a pie.

“Why are you holding hands with him?” Asked the other guest from right behind Roden.

He jumped, his eyes flying to the voice’s owner.

Only to find Nila with a little bit of lemon cream still on her top lip.

“Oh, uh, because-,” Merry stuttered, however, Roden had a better prepared retort.

“What are you doing here?”

Nila shrugged, “I was bored, so I followed you.”

“And you saw her come in, but didn’t tell me?” Roden asked, turning his attention to Merry.

She made a face, and clasped her hands behind her back. “I only did what I was told.”

“I wanted to surprise you, mostly so I could prove that it’s perfectly acceptable for me to go with you to things,” Nila pointed out. She clambered onto the stool beside Roden. “And I’m very helpful. I can read through your reports. All you’d have to do is sign.”

“Doesn’t mean you’d understand what’s going on,” noted Roden.

“That’s not important, all that matters is that everything is spelled correctly.”

Merry nodded, “She does have a point.”

A smile spread across his face, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t be rid of it, but he did manage to contain it to a slight smirk.

He handed a stack of papers to Nila.

Every so often, Roden glanced up to make sure Merry was still near, and watched as she cleaned tankard after tankard.

She beamed at him each time she caught him looking.

And all he could think about was the way her cool hands felt when they rested on his own.

[thoushallnotfall]

So to anyone that may have just got a sneak peak of the next update of Blood and Water...sorry you weren't supposed to see that yet. 😅

I'm working on finishing/editing it right now and tumblr decided to be a little shit and post it when I only meant to save it the draft soooo, whoops?

So sorry it didn't get out earlier like I said I would! I had an eye appointment and they dilated my eyes, and I felt like my eyes were on fire. 😭 I'm working on it right now though! I am DETERMINED to get this sucker out in the morning even if it KILLS ME. I just didn't want to try and keep writing yesterday just to get it out and release something sub par...I just don't think that's fair to you guys even though I know you want the update. 🥺 I try to always give you my best writing even if it takes me a longer to release it...

Also! Very quickly I have been getting your requests and I am very excited to work on those! I am planning on it, and will still be accepting them, just know I'm not planning to work on any of those until I finish this fic. (Which should be soon; I think I'm only one update away after this one!)

-Rachel

[rouge-the-bat]

OOPS I HAD STARTED THIS THEN SAVED AS A DRAFT TO FINISH LATER BUT THEN FORGOT SO ITS. BEEN A BIT SINCE I WAS ACTUALLY TAGGED FOR THIS LMAO

ANYWAYS i was tagged by @skayforrest :'33

Rules: Please make your own text post when answering these to avoid long posts. Highlight/bold what applies to you!

for me to make it easier for me to read im going for:

bold: definitely me :3

italics: kinda me!

strikethrough: not me at All

(subscript parenthesis): my comments! (bc im very rambly lol)

also changing // between different phrases to ♡♡ to make it easier for me to distinguish between phrases too owo

♡  Appearance ♡

I am over 5’5 ♡♡ I wear glasses/contacts ♡♡ I have blonde hair ♡♡ I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing ♡♡ I have one or more piercings (my ears!) ♡♡ I have at least one tattoo (i want to get one of a drawing ive made soon tho!) ♡♡ I have blue eyes ♡♡ I have dyed or highlighted my hair (its p much back to normal now tho- and i want to dye it pink someday) ♡♡ I have gotten plastic surgery ♡♡ I have or had braces ♡♡ I sunburn easily ♡♡ I have freckles ♡♡ I paint my nails (not super often but i have fun doing it occasionally owo!) ♡♡ I typically wear makeup (i rarely do and usually its just lispstick, with maybe eyshadow and/or eyeliner) ♡♡ I don’t often smile (i can be really smiley sometimes but i dont interact with others much (esp irl) so i tend to not emote a whole lot) ♡♡ I am pleased with how I look (im cute round n chubby!!) ♡♡ I prefer nike to adidas (i literally dont care) ♡♡ I wear baseball caps backwards

♡ Hobbies & Interests ♡

I play a sport (i play... wii sports and real life bowling sometimes at most :'3) ♡♡ I can play an instrument (its been a really long time but i learned clarinet from school band) ♡♡ I am artistic ♡♡ I know more than one language (id like to learn some tho, like japanese, french, and/or korean maybe?) ♡♡ I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (never a Literal trophy :O) ♡♡ I can cook or bake without a recipe ♡♡ I know how to swim ♡♡ I enjoy writing (i like to but school has made me anxious anytime i try now ;w;) ♡♡ I can do origami ♡♡ I prefer movies to tv shows ♡♡ I can execute a perfect somersault ♡♡ I enjoy singing (exclusively for singing along, i dont really ever sing on my own lol) ♡♡ I could survive in the wild on my own ♡♡ I have read a new book series this year ♡♡ I enjoy spending time with my friends (who wouldnt!! esp with my friends, theyre amazing :'3) ♡♡ I travel during school or work breaks (id like to travel more..) ♡♡ I can do a handstand

♡ Relationships ♡

I am in a relationship (my girlfriend is so wonderful 🥰) ♡♡ I have been single for over a year (been dating my gf for almost 2 full years now!) ♡♡ I have a crush (fictional crushes count right? bc i have a million of those lol) ♡♡ I have a best friend I have known for ten years ♡♡ My parents are together ♡♡ I have hooked up with my best friend (thats meaning sexual right? bc im sex repulsed and so is my gf whos my best friend so, absolutely not lol) ♡♡ I am adopted ♡♡ My crush has confessed to me (im p much always the first to confess lol) ♡♡ I have had a long-distance relationship (hopefully someday tho it wont be long distance :'3) ♡♡ I am an only child (dear god no i have. 1 full brother, 3 half brothers, 1 half sister, and 2 or 3 step brothers gjkxjfk) ♡♡ I give advice to my friends (im not the best with advice but i try when i can!!) ♡♡ I have made an online friend (all of my current friends are online!) ♡♡ I met up with someone I have met online (GOD I WISH)

♡ Aesthetics ♡

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell ♡♡ I have watched the sunrise (many times, after being awake all night bc im p mych nocturnal lol) ♡♡ I enjoy rainy days (god i love rain so much) ♡♡ I have slept under the stars (iirc im p sure ive slept in a tent for going camping before ??? but my memory sucks so im not sure if that happened or i just always wanted to gjkdjg) ♡♡ I meditate outside (maybe i should try that sometime..) ♡♡ The sound of chirping calms me ♡♡ I enjoy the smell of the beach (ive been to a beach just a couple times.. i dont remember what it smelled like) ♡♡ I know what snow tastes like (i eat snow EVERY time it snows here, esp to make snow cream) ♡♡ I listen to music to fall asleep (on occasion! always instrumental stuff, sometimes meant for relaxing or sometimes just a comfort song from a game i love) ♡♡ I enjoy thunderstorms ♡♡ I enjoy cloud watching ♡♡ I have attended a bonfire ♡♡ I pay close attention to colors (ofc ! i love colors and graphic design is my passion- but like Actually, im not quoting the meme lol) ♡♡ I find mystery in the ocean ♡♡ I enjoy hiking on nature paths (would REALLY need to be in the mood for it) ♡♡ Autumn is my favourite season (close ! i love the chilly air and aesthetic of autumn as well, but winter is my ultimate comfort season <3)

♡ Miscellaneous ♡

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles ♡♡ I am the mom friend (mom friend mode can activate on Occasion, but usually im silly bastard friend) ♡♡ I am involved in extracurricular activities (im not in school) ♡♡ I enjoy mexican food ♡♡ I can drive a stick-shift (i still havent learned how to drive yet owo;;) ♡♡ I believe in true love (probably not in a typical sense?) ♡♡ I make up scenarios to fall asleep (oh no, i make up scenarios constantly in my head throughout the day, i get way too invested in them so they usually keep me up if i think about them when trying to sleep) ♡♡ I sing in the shower ♡♡ I wish I lived in a superhero movie (i def wanna live in some fictional worlds, but superhero movies arent things im usually into) ♡♡ I have a canopy above my bed ♡♡ I am multiracial (im not super familiar with my ancestry rn, so idk. would like to know sometime tho) ♡♡ I am a redhead ♡♡ I own at least 3 dogs/cats (rn i have 2 dogs and 3 cats!)

and uhhh ill tag @spiiderbiites @miphelda @kipokin @queerplyke @ameila if yall wanna do it :3? (if yalld like i can go thru n supply a version of this without all of my font edits and comments!) AH WHOOPS I GOT A URL MESSED UP BUT XENOLEAF U CAN DO TOO IF U WANT

[rabbitstudy]

23.05.20 | 24/100 days of productivity | 2020 quarantine challenge

Daily japanese practice

Daily coding practice

Went to the park today, don’t worry we wore masks and practiced social distancing! if you want to check the pictures, go to my instagram

Sat - What is your favourite game or sport to watch and play?

My favorite sport to watch is futbol and tennis but my favorite sport to play is swimming! i miss going to the pool

Edit: i meant to post this yesterday but accidentally saved it as a draft, whoops ^^;

[piffyocs]

Completely slipped my mind earlier and mobile isn’t letting me edit, so new post about biases and default attitudes Legs brings with her when interacting with characters she’s met the Tartarusverse alternates of. Things of course can and will change based on interactions and circumstances! This is just where she’s going to start out.

Celestia: Legs is trying her best to not let her experience with Daybreaker sour her interactions with Celestia. In practice, Celestia’s presence is a low-key trigger, but Legs will attempt to tough it out until courtesy allows her to excuse herself.

Luna: Legs has a complicated but mutually respectful relationship with her world’s version of Luna, and that respect tends to carry over.

Cadence: Due to political baggage re: Daybreaker’s assassination, Legs has only ever interacted with her world’s Cadence by correspondence. It’s just not safe for Legs to go to anywhere in the Empire or for Empress Cadence to leave it. Even so, much of their correspondence is of a collaborative nature, and, without the unacceptable risk to them both looming over her head, she finds Cadence the most approachable princess.

Twilight: Hoo boy. So, Twilight’s Tartarusverse alternate, Midnight, was the main villain of Tartarus 2. I need to make an edited version of Legs’s reference art to reflect the scars Legs has from Midnight’s army’s attempt on her life. Due to Tartarusverse!Midnight’s extremely genocidal-towards-nonponies actions, Twilight’s School of Friendship freaks Legs the buck out. I know that MLP canon has given Equestria some kind of cultural monopoly on navigating prosocial behavior, diegetically justifying Friendship Evangelism and a multispecies School Six, but A) that’s Unfortunate Implications Town. B) The reason that’s Unfortunate Implications Town is rooted in the fact that having kids from foreign cultures you find lacking leave their families to live at a school so that they’ll learn and take on the deemed-superior-by-you values of your culture is uh... well you see we have a historical precedent for that.

I (Piffy, the writer) am not gonna pretend that canon’s diegetic justifications for the Friendship School don’t twist my stomach all the way over on my side of the fourth wall. On her side of the wall, Legs is gonna call a spade a spade here: The Friendship School, as presented in canon, is an indoctrination center. Her brood will not attend and she’s offended by the invitation. She does not trust Twilight Sparkle.

Daybreaker or Midnight Sparkle: Legs does not want to start plotting anyone’s death. Either one of these two is enough to make her seriously consider the option.

Nightmare Moon: Legs is Very. Careful. When it comes to Nightmare Moon. The version she knew was very powerful and consumed by revenge.

Rest of the Mane Six: Legs never actually met their counterparts, although she recognizes Rainbow Dash’s name. Tartarusverse Rainbow Dash led a sizable chunk of Midnight Sparkle’s invasion force during the war.

School Six, CMC, Spike, and other students: She doesn’t know these kids. She’s not going to get confrontational with any of them, but also isn’t going to lie about her feelings if they ask. She might have a few stories to tell about different kinds of creatures and cultures she’s encountered and how they learned to coexist.

Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: Legs will be, first of all, surprised. These two’s Tartarite counterparts have passed on from old age, but were highly-respected academics in life.

Sunset Shimmer: Tartarite!Shimmer came to a tragic end, and Legs is concerned on principle for this one’s mental health. Sorry Sunny, but if Legs has any say in it, no summoning demonic forces you have greatly overestimated your ability to control for you.

Starswirl: Also younger and more alive than she expected him to be! She’s glad to see that he isn’t as plagued by paranoia as his counterpart.

Thorax: Legs only ever met her world’s Thorax once. It was enough to confirm that Chrysalis’s regular seething through Legs’s childhood about how awful he is was largely exaggerated. They parted on respectful terms, but haven’t stayed in touch. Tartarusverse!Thorax and Legs carry comparably heavy burdens of trauma, guilt, and shame, and the fact they were stuck on opposite sides of a war was too hard on both of them. Legs is relieved that MLPverse!Thorax has been spared that, and will probably grow pretty protective of him.

Pharynx: Legs has never met her world’s Pharynx, but is aware of him and respects that he didn’t want to meet her. She treads carefully around his counterpart out of being unsure what his boundaries are and not wanting to overstep, not out of distrust.

Tempest Shadow: Legs is keenly aware that she is speaking to an alternate of somepony she loves, and she‘s going try to hide how awkward she feels about this. After all, how could she explain that without revealing that she’s from an alternate universe?

Sombra: Tartarusverse!Sombra spent his thousand years getting his shit together, goes by the title Archmage, and--while still terrifying and literally a demon lord now--he’s a reclusive antihero. He’s also sorta-kinda her brother-in-law if you use “in-law” very loosely, so Legs is going to find any straight-up villain Sombra very jarring. Simultaneously, she’ll probably find a Sombra who’s a pure mage build slightly underwhelming on first impression. The one she knows quadruple-wields broadswords (one with his mouth, three with telekinesis), and the three hovering swords are venomous.

EDIT: Meant to save this as a draft. Whoops. I’ll reblog it when it’s done.)

[yoyo-inspace]

13, 27, 33

EDIT: tried to post these before but apparently I drafted it instead. Whoops. Sorry @bounding-heart​! 

Saving 13 for last because then I can put it behind a Read More for spoiler reasons! 

27. Top 5 brotps

These were the first ones that came to mind and I’m kinda sad there aren’t any female friendship BrOTPs on the list, but I’m tired and I can’t be bothered to wrack my head for any more.

1. Donna & Ten (Doctor Who) They have to this day remained one of my favourite TARDIS teams. They’re an absolute joy to watch together, even in episodes I don’t like that much. I’ll forever be sad about how it all ended - somewhere out there I’m sure there’s a timeline where they really did end up traveling together forever. Also, Catherine Tate and David Tennant together anywhere are an absolute powerhouse. 

2. Teal’c & Jack O’Neill (Stargate SG-1) I think one of Stargate’s strongest suits have always been how they truly managed to build believable relationships and specifically friendships (and found family) over the course of the show. And the relationship between Jack and Teal’c is definitely evidence of that. They’re just so good together, and they care so much about each other. The moment Teal’c proves where his loyalties are and O’Neill is immediately going to stand by him through everything, because that’s the kind of person Jack is. And likewise for Teal’c, he’d do anything for O’Neill. They have such a unique understanding of each other, and I honestly think it’s one of the strongest relationships in the show. 

3. Greed & Ling (Fullmetal Alchemist)This is one of those relationships where I kind of read it multiple ways depending on what mood I’m in, but for now, let’s come at it from the BrOTP angle. A lot of the best relationships that I love are about people who improve each other in different ways, and compliment each other, especially in BrOTPs. These two certainly do. They’re also surprisingly similar in many ways, and they push each other to be the best versions of themselves (which takes a bit longer for Greed than it does for Ling, but he gets there in the end). 

4. Sam & Daniel (Stargate SG-1) I did say Stargate has some strong friendships, didn’t I? So they get TWO entries on this list. I know, a little unfair, but it’s my list, so my rules. Sam and Daniel are like, almost literally siblings in my eyes. They bicker like siblings, take care of each other like siblings and they support each other like it as well. I wish the show had shown their friendship even more honestly, but it’s one of my favourites to explore in fanfics and such. Also, I will forever be bitter about the fact that Sam is the only one who didn’t get a visit from Ascended Daniel. #Rude

5. Lee and Iorek (His Dark Materials)Sometimes, a family is a man, a hare and a bear in a balloon, alright? Look, we don’t get much of these in the original book, though even the little we get always point out how much they care about each other. And then we got an entire book ONLY DEDICATED TO THEIR AWESOME FRIENDSHIP. Considering how difficult it is to win a bear’s trust, imagine how hard it is to gain a bear’s friendship and loyalty. Lee’s special like that. Even if Iorek has his own special way of honouring it. 

33. Top 5 episodes

Of everything ever?! Well, that’s not difficult or anything. Here I actually gave myself the rule of one episode per show. Because otherwise it’s IMPOSSIBLE. 

1. Black Sails 4x09Yes, the Black Sails finale is amazing, and nearly took this spot. But in many ways its the epilogue to what actually culminates in this penultimate episode. Everything happens in, constantly. It does not let you rest, because even when things are still, you’re worried about the character. It’s a masterfully written, directed and acted episode, across the board, and one of the strongest episodes the show has - though it of course has the benefit of building on everything that came before it.

2. Heaven Sent - Doctor WhoI knew this was going to be on the list. My absolute favourite episode from one of my absolute favourite shows. Like the episode above, it’s brilliantly written, directed and acted - except the acting is done by a single person. And yes, this is one of those episodes I can watch over and over again and still enjoy it just as much if not more than the first time. As Rachel Talalay said - it’s poetry in the form of an episode, and I think that goes for all three of those aspects (acting, writing, directing). The music is also incredible. It has it all - as well as for me one of the most compelling emotional hooks in Doctor Who. 

3. Hard Times - Good OmensThis might only be on here for recency reasons, but bear with me. I thought I knew just what to expect from the Good Omens TV show. This episode certainly threw me for a loop in the best possible way. While I can’t really speak quality wise, it’s definitely my favourite episode of the show, and no, not only because I’m a massive shipper, though that’s certainly a part of it. I just also love creative story telling and television making, and this episode does both. Having the intro halfway into the episode? Brilliant, love it. Juxtaposing their growing friendship with the break-up at the end? Great. Also period costumes. Period costumes everywhere. 

4. Meridian - Stargate SG-1It’s certainly not the best episodes of Stargate, and I don’t even know if I can say it’s my absolute favourite at any given time, but it’s definitely an episode that had and has a huge emotional impact on me, and one I keep returning to even when it breaks my heart. I do think the acting in it is superb, and it’s a wonderful closure for a character (which also opens up to new possibilities). But how it makes me cry.

5. Sakura and the Final Judgment - Cardcaptor SakuraI knew I wanted some kind of anime in here, but it’s difficult. Anime have shorter episodes, their storyline endings or build-ups usually play out over multiple episode. I couldn’t pick just one FMAB episode, I’d have to pick ten if I wanted to represent a full part of the story. But I wanted to have one, and so I took another one that had a huge impact on me. That is the season finale of s2 of Cardcaptor Sakura, and really, the ‘end’ of that part of the story. Sakura cheering herself on in the face of failure, herself coming to support her, her using her ‘spell’ of simply saying that everything will be alright, because of how much she believes that. Let’s just say this one hits home a lot, and it encapsulates so many of the reasons why CCS has meant so much to me.  

Honorable mention: Probably something from the upcoming HBO show, I can already say that with confidence. 

ALRIGHT, TOP 5 DEAD CHARACTERS COMING UP. Will contain spoilers for: Harry Potter, xxxHolic, Fullmetal Alchemist, The Book Thief. 

13. Top 5 dead characters

1. Albus Dumbledore - Harry PotterNo matter what people might think of Dumbledore, fact remains that I have never cried as much or as long for the death of a fictional character. I do love him, flaws and all, and when he died, I was literally inconsolable for the entire evening. My dad read that chapter to me and had to sit and like hug me for an hour or something. I was bawling. I know we’re not ranking top death scenes or anything, but I think not even I was prepared for how strongly I was going to react to it, but it does indicate how much that character meant, and still means to me. 

2. Van Hohenheim - Fullmetal Alchemist While on the subject of Problematic Father Figures, here’s one more. God, Hohenheim makes me cry. Just. Everything about him. He tries so hard where it really matters and still he can’t quite seem to get there. He was, in so many ways, a tragic victim of circumstance, who never thought he’d learn to love again. I have so many headcanons about him and Trisha, but honestly, what we get from them is absolutely phenomenal on its own. And in the end, he could be there for his boys, even if he couldn’t keep his promise to Trisha. I have a soft spot for immortal characters who end up finding the will to live again through fleeting human lives, alright? (Also, Hohenheim suffers from glasses flare syndrome, where even if he’s crying or happy, no one will know because of his impenetrable anime glare). 

3. Severus Snape - Harry PotterYes, yes, I know, problematic character, yadda yadda. Don’t want to hear it right now, alright? Tired of having to dedicate an entire paragraph defending my reasonings for putting Snape in just about anything. To sum it down, it’s a character that means a lot to me, he’s dead, and that’s why he’s on this list. 

4. Yuuko Ichihara - xxxHolicThe Space-Time Witch herself. Isn’t it awkward when you die and then your boyfriend just happens to be so powerful that even when he just, humanly enough, wishes for a moment that you’d still be alive, he accidentally brings you back to life, and then you both have to spend the rest of your lives trying to pay for that mistake and all the lives it affected because it kind of fucked up the space time continuum? And at the same time you manage to be an absolute powerhouse of a character? Because she is. Yuuko might not be alive, but she lives life to its fullest even when she’s not. 

5. Rudy Steiner - The Book ThiefI mean, I did say earlier that Dumbledore is the character who’s death I’ve cried the most for, and that’s true. But this book is definitely the BOOK where I’ve cried the most. I can just open a random page and start bawling. Every character who dies in that book could technically make it on to this list. I did almost put Hans on, but honestly? Rudy is part of the heart and soul of that book, and his death feels so much more of a robbery of life. I love him, that little boy with the lemon-coloured hair. “How about a kiss, Saumensch?” 

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Water Babies + The Light When You Close Your Eyes | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth! 

*This update is a few weeks old, whoops!*

It’s been some time since I last posted, and so much has happened! I’ve been uber busy with school (October and November always suck?) but I’m back for a quick writing update. 

I’ve mentioned it on here before, but if you don’t know, I’m actually taking a writing class]! It’s split up into four units (I think lol), and so far, we’ve covered: intro to writing, poetry, and we’re currently working on fiction! For fiction, we were asked to write two short stories (actually technically flash fiction but), and this update is about these stories.

(I meant to post this weeks ago as it was finished, however, I’ve held out in case I decide to fix these up in the future and publish them, so no excerpts this update, but I’ll be back with a FOSTERED update chock full of excerpts soon! I’m sorry!!)

WATER BABIES:

So the first story I’ll be updating you on is a short piece I wrote called Water Babies! 

The original draft was a pretty easy write, and made me realize how much I definitely wanted to revisit this story. (Which, this just in, future Rachel who is editing this post, has currently started! More on this later!)

What’s it about? 

WATER BABIES follows twelve-year-old Bea and her seventeen-year-old stepbrother Pluto as they con their way across America, when they get wrapped up in a murder committed by Pluto. 

Conception:

For this assignment, we were tasked to write a story based off a prompt (around 200-300 words). I didn’t have many ideas for a story (and by not many I mean zerooooo), so took to reading some short story collections as preparation (ya girl is not hecka experienced with short fiction). After reading Emily Geminder’s Houses, I was uber inspired!

When I sat down to write the story, I knew I saw the image of a boy standing on a hotel porch smoking, and the first paragraph flowed easily from there. 

Most of the plot meat came to me whilst on a night drive with my folks! In the initial draft, Bea and Pluto were just sort of meandering across America, but after handing in the story and brainstorming further, quickly concluded that they’re both definitely thieves (and pretty good ones, if I do say so) who quickly get wrapped up in a murder after a stint goes very wrong. 

There was a bit of a *tragic* twist to this story, that being we had to start the short story with a writing prompt. I mean no offense to the writer of these prompts, lol, but they weren’t all my faves. I really wanted to choose one that didn’t imply a plot, so I chose:  “Leaving two years ago was the best thing I ever did.” <<< The writing prompt was required to be the first sentence (the prompt I chose is actually dialogue).

The writing bit: 

I drafted this story rather quickly and painlessly! The first draft came out to be around 800 words. @sarahkelsiwrites slashed it (thankfully), and cut it down to about 400 words. In terms of prose, I didn’t find it was anything special since I was definitely restricting myself so I could hit that word count. Looking back, that wasn’t the best decision, because I think the line level struggled a bit (was a little flat), so I’m happy that I’m redrafting!

Speaking of redrafting, I’ve been very slowly chipping away at this story since the beginning of the month, and it’s been going rather well! I’ve written about 270 words, which I’m fairly happy with. The story definitely started off in a completely different place than the original, though I’m really happy with the change! Also, murder in the first sentence, folks. Murder in the first sentence. 

The aftermath

The story I handed in is super short, and will serve as the third-ish scene in the story! By the time I’m editing this post, I’ve already begun the redraft of the actual story, and OH BOY does it begin with a bang (literally). 

I made an aesthetic for WATER BABIES (which prolly will have a title shift who knows):

THE LIGHT WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES

I haven’t written many stories, however, I feel like I can officially deem this a Classic Rachel story because OH BOY.

What’s it about? 

THE LIGHT WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES follows twenty-four year old Leigh Suzuki as she seeks revenge against her ex-best friend, ft. a voodoo doll. This story has basically the same plot as a music video @sarahkelsiwrites and I made last year, wherein Sarah was a murderous jealous twin who spotted me with another friend, and spends the entirety of Daughter’s Burn It Down making a voodoo doll/clone of me, and subsequently, stabbing said voodoo doll to (what we can assume is) death. (January of last year was a dark time folks HA.)

Conception:

The concept of this story is a lil funny. I talk about this in the most recent writing vlog I’m editing, but this story was for a focus on character assignment. Meaning, we were required to design a new character and write a story featuring them. 

I think we had about a week to complete this story, and being the *weak bitch writer* I am, had a great idea, and decided to just make a character profile using my character Emily from FOSTERED. 

If y’alls don’t know, I’m a Pantser. I don’t plan things and that’s what’s always worked best for my process. Can y’alls guess what happened.

I spent about an hour writing out a character profile for the assignment, as well as wrote up some exercises for it, and then got ready to write the story. I had a list of ideas for the scenes, assuming I’d write about a witch doctor of some sorts. And would you believe it! I started writing the story, and it wasn’t even the right character. It was most definitely not the story I planned, nor did the voice suit any of the characteristics I’d planned. lol. 

What was funny is, Leigh (derived from Emily do u see me do u see me) totally had FOSTERED’s MC’s voice (Reeve we love u), and it just caught me by surprise. I was predicting I’d write a very upbeat story and instead it’s violent. Not predictable at all. I’d say Leigh definitely has some differences, however she’s very much if Reeve and Emily mushed into one. 

The writing bit: 

I drafted most of this story in a 15 minute writing session, and came out with around 600 words. After finishing it up (adding an actual beginning lol), it came up to 1100 words. It was supposed to be around 600, so I cut it down to around 700 (saved the original tho because there is so much SALT)! This story is basically a salty rant about friendship gone wrong. 

The aftermath:

I handed in this story knowing it would be sort of a gamble. I wasn't sure how my teacher would feel about the POV/the style in general since it’s kind of severe/violent (#catholic school lmaooo), but she really liked the story! 

Like I said before, there won’t be any excerpts in this post, but I still hope you guys enjoyed this update! I’ll be back with more stuff in 2019, folks, buckle up! Happy New Year! 

--Rachel

[homesception]

May 31, 2013 - part 1: wherein Lobac eats a cookie.

To be fair, it has been like two hundred years since my last update.  That’s a pretty good nap.  Just means I’m all the more rested to work on new stuff, right?  I mean, I need to keep a spritely pace up if I still plan on catching up to Lobac’s liveblog before said liveblog catches up to the comic.  Which for sure is still an actual thing at all, and not a bit of exclusive humor between friends.

Last time Lobac was getting into some theory crafting and analysis of the classpect system.  I didn’t have much to say about that at the time, particularly not much that wouldn’t qualify as spoilers, so iirc I was mostly just responding with random thoughts and video links, half of which are dead now.  There was a bit left over looking at the troll’s perster names, which was also good stuff, but lacking anything coherent to say about it, I’ll just gloss past the rest of that post, apart from:

Lobac said:

Thank you all for sticking around °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

As if you could ever get rid of me.  ~{@PQ}~

Moving on, we rejoin the comic with PM visiting the Black Queen to retrieve the mysterious GREEN PACKAGE, which had been impounded by agents of the Black Court as a result of a traffic violation.  The Black Queen cuts an imposing figure, and Lobac is, of course, duly imposed.

later, Lobac said:

Are those… tentacles ( ´ _ ｀) I thought only the imps were affected by the prototypings?

OH SHIT OH SHIT THAT LOOKS SO COOL HOT DAMN (゜▽゜) Wowow look at her joints! Look at all the carapace-y stuff going on there!

These days, Lobac’s soft spot for this particular sort of shiny, black, possibly betentacled monster-type aesthetic is well documented.  I’m pretty sure she would have loved the black queen’s design even if it wasn’t just objectively cool as hell, but that certainly doesn’t hurt.  I’m kind of sad that we never got a proper fight scene out of this particular version of her.

That’s not a spoiler is it?  I’m pretty sure that’s not a spoiler.

Yeah, the random objects the kids threw in the general directions of their seizuresprites are directly affecting the final boss. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG HERE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

I don’t see the problem here.  Nothing the kids could possibly put in those sprites could be at all unsettling or dangerous.

haa haa.  hee hee.  hoo hoo.

Her face is so weird though It’s Jaspers-shaped, and her eyes are constantly narrowed, I can’t even tell whether it’s in distaste or amusement

Why not both?

Andrew sure is proud of that hand’s close-up She’s not even dramatically pointing she’s literally just saying “yeah I dunno anything about that kinda shit you best go down there and ask my pretty princess, I mean, subordinate”

It is a pretty great hand, honestly.  I think this particular image gets called back to a few more times yet.

Yeah Rose! You go and fulfill your as of yet unclear vaguely Seering-related destiny

Yeah, Rose!  Get on that, maybe!

ROSE NO YOU ARE 13 THAT IS GONNA TASTE AWFUL TO YOU Heh I legitimately don’t know whether her mom would be proud of or disappointed in her if she could see her now Is this an act of defiance or emulation Just silly teenage antics, probably, but I’d like to think she misses her

Rooooooose Rose nooooooooooooooooo （ ´ω｀） Ehehe I love how the artstyle turns super silly to reflect how upset/surprised she is

These two panels constitute one of the most iconic funny moments in the comic.  It works really well.  Shoot, I should have done the post topper-edit based on these, huh?  Oh, well.  The one I already did took like four hours, mostly due to my extreme rustiness, so I’m not going back now.

Otherwise, I also like to think of Rose missing her mom here.  Maybe not admitting it to herself, but still.  I also still ascribe to the “everything Mom ever did was 110% unironic, Rose made up the whole passive aggressive conflict between them in her head, her mom wasn’t passive agressive she was just a bonkers drunk rich lady” headcannon that I think I spoke about ages ago in this very liveblog.

Anyway, yeah, this is both a hilarious joke and a fantastic little character moment for Rose.  Another contributing factor to Rose being my big early favorite with a seemingly insurmountable head start in the ‘best character’ race.

Actually, lately, since the end of the comic, she’s been gaining ground again for me?  I mean, one of the trolls definitely surpassed her for most of my Homestuck fan life, but... eh, whatever.  There’s no way I can getting into how my feelings about those characters developed over the comics life without being way more spoilery than even I’ve already been, so that kind of talk will have to wait for later.  Even if later means ‘years from now’ or ‘never’.

BOO FUCKING YAH, IT’S THE WHITE QUEEN Or Windswept Questant, for now She’s also as of yet uncorrupted by the kids’ silly sprite shenanigans

Lobac had been waiting for this reveal for a while, I think.

PM: Command John to put the carved tablet into a pyxis.

You follow the command telling you to command John to put the carved tablet in the pyxis and type, “John, put the carved tablet into the pyxis.” You successfully do that, and he successfully does that too. Everyone is friendly and cooperative.

Ah yes, you so rarely get this kind of friendly cooperation from narrators these days

It was a rather uncommonly tidy sequence, for this comic.

Shit I just remembered those typing hands we saw when trying to name Jack, the reader is like a physically present entity??? Maybe???

What prompted this thought?  The earlier black queen hand image hanging in your head, then a bit about narrators entering text, and that old bit just pops up?  It’s cool how brains work, making intuitive connections and all that.

What if we eventually zoom out to reveal a human exile commanding everyone. We’ve only been watching that human mess around up until now. The real story begins when they just suddenly go “whelp that was kinda fun. gotta look for food tho” at an incredibly dramatic moment.They turn away from the console.  And then we watch them slump through the desert for thousands of pages and their journey of introspective self-discovery is the actual story. Yes.

Shit, Lobac just predicted the whole narrative!  No point in continuing this liveblog, I guess.  “[#P%]t

Well, obviously this means that WV has an uncanny knack for distances and PM has one for sounds AR can probably track down crimes by their scent He’s like McGruff the Crime Dog, but a little less fluffy

I used to love McGruff the Crime Dog.  Until I grew up and realized he was a tool of THE MAN.

dear gOD SHE REALLY IS PUTTING JACK IN DRESSES (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ He and Slick are basically the same person, right? Oh man he is gonna stab the shit out of her one of these days

~{%|%}~

Jack Noir, more like JACK NO. NO YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THERE MURDERING PEOPLE AND FROLICKING THROUGH THE STREETS WITH YOUR ASSHOLE CREW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS PATHETIC o(`д´ ｡)

I’d say this is a “be careful what you wish for” moment, but I think Lobac knew exactly what she was doing here.

Ticket? Oh, this thing. Ha, ha, look at that, you are holding a ticket. How did that get in your hand? It belongs on the desk with the others. No, you are not here to pay a parking ticket. You explain to the frightening man that you are here to pick up that green parcel.

GIVE ME A C! GIVE ME A U! GIVE ME A T AND I AND E! sheeEEEE’S A CUTIE!!!!

Honestly, they’re all cuties.  the cuteness of the entire cast, even the villains mostly, in both visual depiction and personality, really is a big selling point of the whole comic.

There was a time when I wasn’t super into cute things.  I was never viscerally opposed to cuteness, never when through a virulently anti-girly-stuff phase, but these days I’m MUCH more into things being cute.  I just like cute characters!  Sure, I like things that are somber and spooky, but the best is when they’re somber and spooky AND super cute!

Like, Hollow Knight.  That whole game is like exactly my favorite aesthetic these days.  Sad and morose and dark and adorable.

But more often than not homestuck still comes pretty close to that ideal.  You just want to hug the shit out of all of these doofuses, a few stab wounds here or there be damned.  Speaking of stab wounds...

WHOOPS TENSION. THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT. I DO NOT ACTUALLY WANT YOU TO START KILLING PEOPLE OK

Maybe Lobac didn’t know what she was asking for earlier.

Wait, the crowns, what the fuck, he wants her to KILL THE KING AND QUEEN??? SHE’S JUST A MAIL LADY ヾ(´･-･｀)ノ”

How does he even know she’s desperate enough to kill people just to get one package?

The PARCEL MISTRESS departs with her mission of double agency. You wonder if she’ll actually be so foolish as to attempt to uphold her end of the lopsided bargain. You make a policy of handing out a REGISWORD and a HITLIST to just about everyone who enters your office. But you never think anyone’s actually going to GO THROUGH with it. 

What a phenomenal asshole That explains that

pretty much.  As for the box itself...

Yeeeeah you’re not actually gonna show me so, go ahead, taunt me, get it over with

PFFFFPFPFPFPFFF WHAT SOMETHING COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS APPARENTLY? NOT AS RIDICULOUS AS HIS FACE THO. Magnificent asshole cutie

Hahah, \[&P%]/

Anyway, at this point the action cuts back to the kids, and that seems a good a time as any to take a break.  I could just save this as a draft and finish the rest of lobac’s post later?  I mean, then I wouldn’t have to take extra time for another panel edit?  But I kind of want to post something now, so I guess well do this one in parts again.  part 2 scheduled for, let’s be ambitious and say may 2022

How did I ever use to have the time for this blogging shit?  I’ve been working on this for like six hours, and only got like a third of the way through one update?  I guess I was just younger then.

I’m so old now.  Time just gets away from me.

And my back hurts all the time.

[brianhandy]

Time to Search for Marketing

My plan was for things to let up this month to leave a little more time for job hunting, and do marketing research half the time. Instead I’ve found that even finding a marketing person is a full time job, cold emailing and searches are always tough, and onboarding new folks will always be tricky (so consider instead investing in more long term contracts since onboarding is a real time cost). These two weeks’ news: marketing knowledge, searching for the right person once more, and onboarding! 

Nintendo Power praises by Chris Zukowski.

Marketing Knowledge

I watched a GDC talk most mornings the last two weeks, including:

Erik Johnson's “Making Indie Games That Sell”

Chris Dwyer's "(Opportunity) Cost Effective Marketing & PR for Indies"

David Wehle’s “No Time, No Budget, No Problem: Finishing The First Tree”

Casey Yano's "Slay the Spire: Success through Marketability"

“Put Your Name on Your Game, a Talk by Bennett Foddy and Zach Gage"

Nick Popovich's "Making Games That Stand Out and Survive"

Mike Rose’s “Making the World Give a Damn About Your Game in 2018″

Chris Zukowski’s “Build Your Own Fan Club: How to Use Your Email List”

Mike Rose’s and Chris Zukowski’s I’ve linked since I found them especially formative to how I will approach marketing now. All the talks are good for different reasons, all reinforce the same ideas of developing a relationship with your audience and all suggest, like a good friend, investing in that relationship by routinely sending them cool stuff you think they’d enjoy. Nintendo Power is cited in Chris’s talk as the best example of this yet. But having an audience that loves consuming your work, whether it’s love letters as an email newsletter for Date Everything, or a Discord server that gets secret news and updates early, investing in the community and connection that is your audience will help grow and maintain that so that when your game does launch, the strongest fans can immediately invest and help push it up the charts. It’s a great core idea, and it depends on respecting and mutually investing in your audience in a really healthy way.

Also: did some preliminary video tests with friends so we can start making more marketable content soon. Hopefully more on that soon!

Do you like filling out webforms? Yes? Great, cold emailing is perfect for you!

Searching for Marketing Folks

Cold emailing folks is still hard! I think this will be rough forever. Making a template helps so you don’t rewrite the same core every time. Tweaking it to respect someone’s individuality and showing what you care about helps too. We all have to communicate with a lot of people, and I think as long as there is respect both ways in mind and in action, using your own templates for certain emails is fine. If you’re going to say the same three sentences every time, stop wasting time rewriting them. They do their job - customize the message elsewhere.

The search has been just as rewarding as when looking for an artist though. It broke down into a few steps like last time:

Searching for portfolios I trusted. This was on Google, leading to individuals’ sites for “indie games marketing” or “mobile game marketing” keywords, then cold emailing, getting rejected, and then asking for their recommendations for more folks which had a 1 in 5 chance of getting another 2-5 names. Repeat. (this process took about 3 rounds to find/email some 10-20 people, with rounds costing probably 4hrs of time each on separate days since email replies average 24-48hrs)

Sending back and forth emails with a smaller pool of the top 5-8 individuals. Different backgrounds gave some leads for trailers and PR folks that were not marketing directly as well. This email back and forth averaged about 5 emails, taking 2-3hrs each day for about 3 days. 

Phonecalls and Skype chats with just over half of those individuals, a half hour each with buffer times for setup and notes/emails after, have narrowed us down to probably the final two candidates once again. That meant another 3-5hrs combined to talk with everyone and read some longer emails that needed 30min+ each to read and reply to.

One last round of phonecalls, another 2hrs, and we should have the final marketing candidate. That means in total, finding a candidate for this position probably took between 23 and 28 hours, or a little over half workweek but divided over two weeks. That’s not a small amount of time! I would expect any major new hire, from a zero reference starting point, to just cost a week of work over 2-3 weeks in the future. Due to the back and forth there’s not a great way to accelerate this either. It’s part of the process I didn’t really know how to make time for, but both hiring for design and hiring for marketing have worked this way so I want to make that a clear expectation in the future.

SBA’s website is fancier than I’m used to for government sites!

Business Plans & Executive Summaries

A friend introduced me to SBA - Small Business Administration, a government support agency for entrepreneurs and small businesses. It is surprisingly excellent and has given me some really good wakeup moments for facing the upcoming financial challenges and expectations. They want people who walk through their doors to be well equipped to make a sustainable business, or acquire funding to grow, and in return they want to see your business numbers so they have a sense of what markets are shrinking or growing. From the perspective of a small business, it’s a very useful tool - and they’re not only holding me accountable but teaching me where I need to focus my efforts to financially survive. I am excited to keep working with an advisor I have here now and turn an executive summary I wrote this week into more of a real business plan - useful both for managing expectations of returns, and for marketing to the best audience possible. 

Better “onboarding” (like a boat) involves “iterating” (like the photo)! Ahh? Ahh??

Onboarding

Don’t be fooled by the silly photo - this part was hard and important!

Searching for new contractors took more time than expected, but onboarding known contractors also took a larger than expected amount of time. My biggest regret on this is not taking a more iterative approach to onboarding. I passed on instructions for a new artist I worked with recently (a cool person at that!) and later learned I had not been clear in communicating my needs, the style, or the goals in the way I believed I had. My value is that it is on the communicator to deliver a message on average, and I wish I had done more checking early to ensure I had delivered the right message.

For a contracted game designer I am bringing on to do a pass on adding animal videos, I’ve asked that they show first drafts early and often at the start so we are on the same page before too much work risks being done down the wrong path. I value the concept of hiring good people, clearly communicating, and getting out of the way - but at times those last two points can be in conflict with one another. I hope to share more details soon on finding a better approach here too.

Ahh! What’s this? Secret developer options ingame? 👀 

Design & Tech

Just some fun final details! I added a debug mode to show all animals, questions, and silhouettes! This increases onboarding and test results times in a way I’ve always wanted to do, but couldn’t justify until it was slowing down the work of others. Now that’s in and has gotten me to also do a quick pass at optimizing the videos, so they’ve all been trimmed to 11sec and cropped to the size of the frame, saving us 400/600MB of video space. Awesome!

Rapid video bulk editing was done with ffmpeg for trimming and MPEG Streamclip for cropping and video quality level control. I’ve also added dynamic quality adjustors (whoops forgot that before) so low ram devices run lowres videos compared to high ram devices. Accidentally, I had set everything to low ram before. But that’s fixed!

Toggl report so far for 2020! March is work from home + halfway into the month.

Time Keeping

Toggl is my timekeeping app, and it’s been very useful lately as I bulk categorized all work that had been done on both this and my last project. When working for others, I seem to successfully track 7.5hrs/day of work (there’s a little wiggle room here as I don’t always start tracking exactly when I start - but it’s a solid approximation) and when I work for myself, I successfully track about 6hrs/day (and even though personal tracking is significantly less accurate, this is still is a concerning number). In short: I’m slacking! I really want those numbers to go up, even if I think a big part of it is also how many of those hours are focused vs unfocused work. But it’s good to see my work numbers aren’t ridiculously off the mark. It’s definitely possible for me to hit full workdays in self employment, I’m just not there yet.

Pomodoro Timer techniques on my smart watch have actually been incredibly effective lately for that focus. I’ll set a timer for 25min, then a break timer for 5min, and the wrist accessibility keeps me really focused and moving forwards to getting those hours in. With startup work especially, it’s hard to tell where breaks give the creativity needed to keep up with how the goals change, and where focus gives you the work needed to pump out a product on the current path. Lightfield capture technology was a big distraction this week among all the virus news (if we have to stay indoors, I want to develop a better and more 3d Skype!) and while that might be more profitable as a field longterm, short term it’s better to focus on just finishing the job you started. So what’s best? I think that’s something to continuously be reassessed by context, per project, and a healthy dose of gut feeling.

Was it most efficient to reuse UI for testing? Or just done to look pretty?

Conclusion

Time is short! How do we make the most of it? One of the marketing talks said 30% of your time as an indie dev should go towards marketing, starting before the project starts. And that makes sense. But how do we fill in all the other balancing pieces? Should optimizing get as much priority as finding a good marketing person? Should we spend more time onboarding someone we find, or finding someone who doesn’t need onboarding? And depending on what kinds of profits you can expect and how confidently, you can take all the time in the world. Marketing, business, and development time have this entanglement that I’m only just starting to feel directly - and beyond creating art to change the world, I am experiencing now everything about the marketing and business side of game development, and the stresses of it, directly.

Next time: I hope I decide on a business and marketing plan and a target demographic before I commit to a game’s development, rather than the end of it. It will make sustainable game development significantly easier. 

3/13/20

[stacawrites-blog]

They Don’t Exist Anymore

So this book is about, Lizbeth Naomi Blake a girl who took her own life after her mother died. She was hoping there wasn’t an afterlife. She wakes up to be told that she was in charge of saving the world. She needed to save not only the world but the universe, from Caleb, who was killing everyone in the world to create an army to take over Heaven to become God himself. 

POV: it’s Third person limited, past tense. Some chapters are in third person limited of the main character, Lizbeth and others are in the third person limited of other main characters that are important to get the plot going along.  It took me about 8 months to write the first draft. I edited it and now it is in Beta reader stage. 

music: I mostly listened to the album Dear Evan Hansen while writing this. There was no special reason, besides that fact that I love Dear Evan Hansen. I have to listen to music while writing, or nothing will get done. I have to have whatever music that I am listening to blasted in my ears. There is not a special playlist I have for each book, it’s usually just whatever album I currently obsessing over.  Characters: 

Lizbeth. She was so much fun to write as. I’ve had her as a character before I actually wrote this full novel. In my head, I see her as Sabrina Carpenter, but I changed some of the details, like her eyes and her face shape so that the readers can see her how they want. I don’t want my impact of how I see her change how the audience takes in the story. She is a lot like myself. She is very conservative until needed. She just wants people to believe in her, so she tries so hard to impress people that she doesn’t, which she knows that she doesn’t need too.

Stephanie: Ah Stephanie. She was so complex in making. She is this soft and confident character but then when she gets into places that scares her the confidence goes away. She is one of my favorites that I’ve written. I actually love all my children, but she comes in at the top for my favorites, whoops?

Mozelle: trying to make a character that went through kidnapping and rape at a young age was kind of hard for me, but I knew that she had to experience those things in order to make her who she is as a person. She acts like the tough guy. She was kidnapped at age 14 and in the second chapter it explains how she was kidnapped and how everyone blamed Stephanie for her disappearance. Mozelle herself still blames Stephanie to the point where it’s hard for her to move on from the fact.  Dakota: there isn’t much of Dakota. he is just there. he is important to the second novel, but not much of the first. He is still important, as he is helping Lizbeth find herself. there’s really not much to say about him until the second Novel.  God: What his name says, he is God. He is found Lizbeth to save the world. it was written by his mother, the God before him, that a girl named Lizbeth would take her own life and save them. Hei s trying to help Lizbeth find out who is and what she is meant to do but is also not trying to give away to much of what he knows to this girl. Which in the second novel we get a lot more of what God knows and what he is hiding from Lizbeth.