#edit: whoops you didnt see me utterly misspell otohans name several times

[ahelpfulpeach]

lord the party dynamics are gonna be wild the next few sessions. I mean I think this’ll effect everyone pretty much indefinitely going forward, especially once we figure out what will ultimately happen to Laudna, but lord just

like you have FCG, who saw more of their ancient past, but who still has no real ANSWERS. who is meant to help, and lost a friend. who just saw his friends laid strewn and bloody around him, just like last time. who brought Fearne back to life despite being scared of even healing someone earlier on in the day, in case it hurt him and made him lash out again. who saw and experienced these people they’ve grown to care so much about feel so lost and despondent and hurt. who saw Imogen, someone they have linked minds with, level an entire city block with her grief.

who was, to my understanding, linked with Laudna when she died.

Ashton, who was brought more clarity about their potential origins, who had to relive a traumatizing moment of losing their family. who was so thoroughly beat down in just one turn, despite being a protector, the muscle. that status was thoroughly challenged. who ran from the battle for multiple rounds, during which others went down.

who was the last one to have a real in depth conversation with Laudna. who spent their time since the very beginning making sure this wet paper towel of a woman didn’t die because she’s soft and he’s not anymore. who carried her lifeless body almost the entire episode. who’s willing to go into debt to a woman they’re afraid of, just after clearing it, in order to bring her back. 

Chetney, who’s trying to keep things together. he’s been alive for so long, of course he’s seen people die. who didn’t want to be left behind as a sole survivor. who tried so hard to defend the others, to next to no avail. who has dangerous power, and tries to reassure the others who have it too. who’s trying to ensure they can still go, still move, still do something, and maybe save Laudna in the process.

there’s Orym, who’s already been the survivor once. who knows it was him or Laudna. who knows he’s alive, in part, because Laudna is not. who knows his best friend in the group had to make that horrible decision. who likely thinks he didn’t do his job, protecting, well enough, and that’s why they’re in that position. who likely sees his own loss and grief echoed in Imogen. who had an instant to make that grief go away and be with his love and his family again.

who has a second chance to complete his mission. who is willing to confront his perceived failure at bringing Otohan in, to go to his leader and beg for the life of his friend.

and poor fucking Fearne. who was dismissed by Otohan, not powerful enough. who died. who saw something worrying, terrifying, grabbing for her, drawing her in. who knows that’s what is waiting for her next time. who was revived only to have to choose between Orym and Laudna moments later.

either her longtime friend, someone she loves. the one she’s gone on adventures with. the one she sleeps next to every night. the one who helped guide her into a new way of considering the world, an entirely new morality. the one who protects the whole party. the one she knows has others elsewhere looking forward to his return.

or Laudna. a new friend. someone she cares for, who she talks up every chance she gets. the one who invited her and Orym into her bed to help assuage their loneliness after Dorian left. who is so bright and joyful. who took her hands and said she had a family, whatever her parents wound up saying. who has her best friend sobbing over her body, begging her to come back.

who may or may not have fudged the coin flip. who knows now the extent of Imogen’s grief and rage. who would risk returning to her grandmother, who always demands a price, who took years of her life, to bring Laudna back.

and then of course, Imogen.

who watched her friends get carved down one by one all in order to trigger her latent power. who could do nothing to save them. who wishes she hadn’t tried to run. who doesn’t know what would have happened if she stayed.

who saw Orym die, someone who believed in her. someone she confided in.

who saw Fearne die, a friend. someone she had fun with. someone she got the chance to be playful and warm with.

who wasn’t even there for Laudna’s final breath. twice, she reached out, and heard nothing back. two times during that awful fight, the music she’s grown so used to went silent. who, despite her best efforts, her begging, her willingness to go with Otohan, couldn’t save this woman she loves. who unleashed terrifying power she never dreamed she had, and still couldn’t bring her back. who was willing to play into anyone’s hands, Otohan’s, Delilah’s, Hexum’s, anyone, to have Laudna back.

who had the chance to have her back, and had to watch Fearne choose someone else. who has to grapple with the fact that though she cares for Orym, she didn’t want him saved if it mean Laudna wouldn’t be.

who had to grappled with the fact that Laudna was, again, killed to send a message.

who spent the rest of the episode demanding Laudna’s body be treated with respect. who held her when they had moments to pause, a body that probably doesn’t feel all that different to how she does when she’s asleep. colder, heavier maybe. without the telltale slow, weak heartbeat, or shallow, infrequent breaths. so close to normal, but not quite there.

who pressed a kiss to her forehead, and has to be hoping it’s not a kiss goodbye.

and the party at large too. Laudna was a source of joy and light and enthusiasm. she made people laugh. she got them little gifts, fixed little things for them. she offered what comfort she could when she could. she made sure Zhudanna always had fresh fruit and eggs. she cared so much about bringing people happiness and fixing things and leaving places and people better than she found them. she was, I think, the emotional heart of the group, and they’re going to sorely be missing that in the coming days.