#either its the spider-man pointing meme

[philzasjuicyass]

Ok but like. The sins all being themed after an act in the circus means that, in-universe, they all either coordinated that or each one individually decided to do so and ended up accidentally matching

[clumsiestgiantess]

I think it would be so funny if someone from the tiny side of the g/t community just like fell through the phone or something and ended up smol with someone from the giant side of the community.  

Of course the initial first meet would be wacky.  Maybe the giant is scrolling through their phone before they go to bed (potentially scrolling thru g/t stuff) and the tiny just falls onto them.  Or maybe the giant happened to have it open in their hand and they have to quickly catch the tiny that fell through.

‘Who are you?  How did you come out of the screen?’

‘Where the hell am I?’

Meanwhile both are frozen in shock because OMG ITS FINALLY HAPPENING!!!!  Idk whether one or the other would actually flat out tell them they’re in the g/t community, or explain what that is, but maybe they find out another way.  Maybe the giant is immediately gentle and lowers their voice like they knew what to do.  Maybe the tiny enjoys being held a suspicious amount for having just shrunk.  Either way, once the ‘secret’ is out I’d imagine it’s like the Spider-Man meme where they point at eachother like ‘no way, you’re in the g/t community too?’  

Imagine it though, two people who want the exact same thing but in reverse.  The giant badly wanting someone to protect and the tiny desperate to feel protected.  Or just a silly idea like ‘hey, there’s this dollhouse I have…’ and the tiny’s already been thinking about exploring it.  No need to imagine g/t scenarios anymore, you just tap your gigantic friend and ask to sit on their shoulder, or fiddle with their hand.  Though I guess they can still imagine scenarios, and maybe the giant and tiny can experiment and try some of them out irl.

The phone could also consistently work as a teleport spot too, so they could both go on with life like normal, but whenever the Yearning Hours set in they could meet up and both have that niche longing filled.  The tiny could just be bored and message the giant like ‘pocket ride? 👉👈’ and the giant laughs and agrees before sticking their phone in their pocket and letting the tiny slide in through the screen, safe and completely unnoticed by the rest of the world.

This could also work as a story with two random people that meet by one falling through their phone and coming out the size of the screen.  Idk, but I want a little friend to hang out with and I feel like this would be the perfect way to achieve that.

[shu-box-puns]

Hello there mate!

Hope you're doing good and I'm here to say I ADORE you're Dad!Tsu'tey works and they bring me my daily dose of serotonin.

But also, since I've read (and reread) the "Grumpy dad and his feral son" work I've been having some thoughts. Like, what if Tsu'Tey was just a second too late and they managed to take Spider away? How would he react (I mean obviously he would hunt the shit out of them down) ? When would he and Spider reunite again? In the forest while he was with the recoms? In the battle of the Sea Dragon? I mean he would most def come to his rescue if the letter is the case to come and get him (+ to aid the Sullies), but then I also wonder what would happen. Would the whole Neytiri holding him hostige infront of Quaritch so he would release Kiri thing happen? How would he react to that? Or what if he got shot instead on Neteyam (not dying tho cos I want both my faves to live a happy life) ? I bet Tsu'Tey would be fucking terrified cos it woul remind him of how he got shot and almost died.

Anywho I'm sorry for the long line of questions and suggestions I left but when my brain finds something to hyperfixate on it will not stop coming up with questions and possible scenarios for the said thing 😅

I love the way your brain thinks Anon. (The fact I literally had most of these scenarios either thought out or planned :D) This got long. All the questions just gave me so many ideas and I RAN with it. Enjoy the memes and I hope there's no obvious spelling mistakes.

>_<

If Tsu'tey were too late to grab Spider before Quaritch got to him:

I could definitely see him tearing off after the recoms. Maybe he springs from the bushes too late, and Quaritch has already hoisted the boy up over his shoulder. Naturally, Tsu'tey still tries to attack him with his bow, but Lyle opens fire too fast and he old instinct has him retreating. Man definitely has some PTSD from getting shot during the war, and although mentally he still wants Spider back, his body goes on auto-pilot and throws him out of the line of fire. Lyle keeps shooting in his direction as the recoms retreat, but Tsu'tey isn't gonna let something as silly as instinct keep him down for long.

That's his boy, they'll have to kill him to keep him from getting him back. Thankfully, Jake knows exactly where his brain went and literally had to throw himself at this man so he didn't end up getting himself shot (again). Jake likes Spider well enough, but he thinks regrouping is a better course of action than charging in guns blazing - shocker, he's actually matured since having his kids.

Tsu'tey definitely fights with all he has against Jake, cursing at him and trying to wrestle himself free. He can't focus on anything but the distant roar of the enemy ship as it soars in close to the canopy. He can see the lights, and through the trees, the vague outlines of the recoms strapping themselves in. Lo'ak definitely has to wrestle the hunter's knife out of its sheath before he remembers it is there. But no one can save Jake from Tsu'tey biting the shit out of him. Man does not give a shit at this point.

When he gets free. (Of course it's a when not an if.) The airship is already long gone. A distant hum in the distance, even to his superior hearing. The pure, unbridled rage on this man's face is terrifying. Instead of explosive, loud anger, he's cold, almost unnervingly calm. A whole new level of terrifying.

Jake is definitely too scared to try and coax him out of the clearing and instead focuses on reassuring his children. Neytiri has to approach him, she's known him the longest afterall. Had stuck with him through the loss of Sylwanin, the fall of HomeTree, the war, she knows how best to handle him when he is like this. That doesn't mean her words are effective however. Tsu'tey needs a moment of stillness to collect his thoughts and recollect himself after the adrenaline burst, but Neytiri is already grabbing him roughly by the bicep and trying and drag him to his ikran.

He's still seething. Barely seeing straight. Half baked plans of him attacking the demon airship before it could get to Bridgehead were sounding more tempting by the moment.

Somehow Neytiri drags him out of the clearing and into the branches of the trees. Hauling his weary body to safer ground. But in his musing, Tsu'tey recalls the figure of Neytiri in the trees when Spider fell. He remembers seeing her dragging Kiri away with half a nod of acknowledgement sent Tsu'tey's way. It sends a fresh wave of rage crashing over him.

"You left him." He suddenly snarled, ripping his arm from her and pointing an accusatory finger at her. "He was right there, and you abandoned him!"

Neytiri's ears droop and she doesn't deny it. She doesn't back down either. "My priority was Kiri. I assumed you could handle it." She doesn't apologise for her actions or inaction. Just holds his gaze and holds her ground. Her expression neutral.

Tsu'tey knew she'd never taken much of a liking to Spider, despite her relationship with Jake and his heritage. Despite Tsu'tey unofficial adoption of the boy. There had always been a sense of hostility between the two. With Neytiri acting colder to Spider and the boy refusing to call her out on it. Tsu'tey had never thought to address it or try and help them mend that gap, now look at them.

And that's the real kick to the teeth. Not that Neytiri didn't care enough to be sorry that it was his kid taken instead of her own. It was the truth in her words that had his anger faltering. He should've been able to handle it. Spider was his son. And he let him slip through his fingers. He should've fought harder, dirtier. Should have resorted to teeth and nails if he had to.

So what if he got shot? If he'd angled it right, he would've had enough time to get Spider to safety.

If it had been Neteyam or Lo'ak in Quartich's hold, Jake would've torn himself apart to ensure their safety. Neytiri would've fallen into a blind rage to keep her children safe. Would have used every resource at her disposal to protect her own. She would have stared death in the face and kept snarling. And what had Tsu'tey done? Allowed a past experience to still his movements. To make him hesitate, and now he might have to pay the price for the rest of his life.

His retort dies on his tongue as his heart clenches painfully. But Tsu'tey had never been one to give up easily. He kept a tight hold on his anger, allowed it to guide him as he shoved past Neytiri and called for his ikran. His face was set in his trademark scowl, but there was a predatory fluidity to him that only came out during the war. When what he loved was threatened.

As his ikran lands beside him and he makes the bond, Lo'ak sidles up to his side, offering him back his knife. There is a familiar fire burning in the depths of the boy's eyes. A desire for vengance, and a sea of guilt and pain. Tsu'tey allows his face to soften for a heartbeat, he bends over the side of his ikran and squeezes Lo'ak's shoulder tight. "I will get him back." He promises.

Lo'ak chews on his lower lip, his eyes flickering to Tsu'tey and holding his burning gaze. He must see Tsu'tey's determination, his drive, his stubbornness, because he cracks a small smile and nods.

The family prepares to return to High Camp. Jake warning Tsu'tey that any attempts to go after Spider now was a suicide mission. He didn't argue, but neither did Tsu'tey agree. He also chose to ignore Neytiri handing Tuk off to him. Just kept his gaze ahead, and his hand loosely wrapped around the little girl's stomach so she was secure in the saddle in front of him.

If they reunited in the forest:

Lets say by chance Tsu'tey gets word of the Demon ship in clan territory again, or he's just riding around the forest on a pa'li because it helps him clear his mind.

He hasn't slept since Spider was taken. He's worried for his boy and severely regretting not letting him know what he meant to him before this shit show got so out of hand. In typical Tsu'tey fashion, he's been spending his time gathering Spider's belongings for when he returns.

Norm had already handed over most of the boy’s prized possessions when Tsu’tey asked for them from his bedroom in the compound. He’d packed everything away neatly in preparation to wherever Jake was planning to flee, so his son would have what he needed the minute he was retrieved. Spare exo pack, rechargeable batteries, etc. 

He's in his head so deep, that he takes a double take when he spots Spider through the trees. His pa'li makes an abrupt stop, the large animal mirroring Tsu'tey's shock as he stares wide eyed at the image of his boy stood on a log, above a group of recoms. Even from a distance he can see the bruises. He can see the tense set of his shoulders, his swift glances to the forest, despite pretending to be at ease.

Tsu'tey's shock melts into a scowl as his bow groans under the tightening on his hands. He steels himself with a long, deep inhale, mentally calculating the space within the small clearing. The sight of the guns on the recoms have his heart pounding, and his scars tingling with phantom pain. He knows deep down that his bow will be useless in a one on six fight. His only advantage is surprise, and he only gets one chance.

Tsu'tey's mind is made up before he takes his next breath. He knows he needs to try. Even if it ends with a bullet between his shoulders and his pa'li throwing him off from the pain, he needs to die trying. Whether it kills him or not, he needs to return Spider to the clan, where he will be safe. Where Jake and Neytiri can take him to a fresh start, a safer alternative to the clan at war.

The recoms are distracted. Only one wearing sunglasses is actually taking stock of his surroundings. Spider is talking, commanding most of the group's attention.

Sucking in a deep breath, Tsu'tey lets out a sharp call that could easily be mistaken for some distant herd animal. None of the recoms react but he sees Spider visibly stiffens. Tsu’tey grins despite himself and readies his mount. 

He notches an arrow into his bow and urges his pa'li forward. He erupts from the undergrowth with a war cry, and skewers the closest unsuspecting recom. It scatters the group like startled yerik, who immediately scramble for their guns.

"TSU'TEY!" Spider yells, sounding shocked and elated to see him. The hunter spares only a moment killing a second recom before he's charging for that log. His pa'li races past faster than the enemy can load their weapons, and it gives Tsu'tey large enough of an opening to lean down and grab Spider's by his extended hands. The child immediately latches onto him, grabbing whatever he can as Tsu'tey swings him up into the saddle in front of him and together they disappear off into the undergrowth.

Shots were fired at their back but no one got hit, much to Tsu'tey's relief. But the adrenaline rush isn't over because Spider turns around and yells in a rush about a tracker in his mask.

Not to worry though, because Tsu'tey is very up to date on all the old compound location. Even as his triumph sours, he takes confidence in the distant yells of the recoms and the light pressure of Spider at his front. He snarls softly to himself as he makes his pa'li change course.

Yes they get the masks switched out without issue and toss the bugged one into a fast moving river to send Quaritch on a wild goose chase and buy the Sully's more time to run.

Side note: In this possibility, Tsu'tey was definitely convinced Spider wasn't safe enough with him and he had to go with the Sully's to the Metkayina clan. And Tsu'tey was NOT planning to go with him. HAVE ANGST!!

If they reunited on the Sea Dragon:

In this scenario, Tsu'tey ends up visiting the Sullys when the Sea Dragon turns up. He just wanted to check up on his friends and see if they've heard anything about Spider, and the next thing he knows, he's got nieces and nephews to save, and a score to settle.

Tsu'tey is definitely going straight for the ship.

It's during the stand-off where the Colonel has his gun to Lo'ak's temple and Jake isn't telling anyone over the comms what is happening - preparing to hand himself over like the idiot he is. Tsu'tey was circling above the clouds on his ikran with Neytiri, carefully listening to his ear piece as he tries to decipher what is going on. The minute he catches sight of Spider being escorted back into the ship, all rational thought leaves this man's head. Of course he has enough sense to remain undetected - he's not stupid - but he's also not on board with Jake's self-sacrificing bullshit. In Tsu'tey's books, failure is not an option this time around. He is getting Spider back if it kills him.

Tsu'tey and Payakan being on the same wavelength.

The tulkun YEETING himself onto the ship's deck and giving Tsu'tey big enough of an opening to land his ikran and send the beast back up into the sky undetected. He makes brief eye contact with Neteyam who's circling the shallows around the belly of the ship, getting ready to leap up and help out his siblings.

The oldest Sully boy points to the kids tied to the railing, Tsu'tey nods. He motions behind him, where the RDA sailors took Spider and Neteyam nods his understanding.

On the horizon, the Metkayina clan are inbound. Tearing through the waves and heading straight for the ship.

Tsu'tey decides that they've got this covered and finds the nearest doorway that will lead him into the belly of the metal ship. He's too tall for the corridors and either has to knuckle crawl or walk at a constant stoop. His bow is a pain to hold loaded in the tight space, so he opts solely for his knife.

He navigates the ship blindly. His ears pricked for Spider's voice, but otherwise killing anyone he comes across and moving swiftly. He knows the destruction caused by Payakan would've damaged something valuable and he needs to move fast.

I love the idea of Tsu'tey stumbling across the control room in time to find Spider steering the ship towards the rocks and then brutally killing the controls with a fire extinguisher. (Boy was eyeing that lever heavily whenever he was in the same room as it). Just Tsu'tey letting out a half formed growl as the crewmates try to tear Spider away and fix the lever, but his oncoming attack getting put on hold as the enormous ship speeds for the rocks and promptly takes off.

The minute that bitch lands back in the water, you can bet Tsu'tey is the first on his feet. He erupts into the room with a sound so unnerving that the crew forget that they are armed. It's an unfair fight. And despite the tight quarters and being outnumbered, Tsu'tey wipes the floor with everyone.

They find Spider an exopack and get the fuck off the sinking ship to meet back up with the Sullys out on the rock.

Just the crew out cold or dead at his feet, and Tsu'tey closing the distance between himself and Spider. He drops into a crouch, all hard scowl and sharp eyes, and gently tucks Spider's dread behind his ear. "Are you unharmed?"

Spider nods, dumbfounded and thrown off by the raw concern in Tsu'tey's voice. Tsu'tey grumbles. He can see spots of blood all over Spider, small grazes and nicks that shouldn't be there. His stripes are faded and his hair needs a retwist. But he's alive, and Tsu'tey isn't going to let anything else happen to him.

Bonus:

The standoff:

I feel like throwing Tsu'tey into the mix would throw so many scenes off course with his sheer presence that the stand off between Neytiri and Quaritch where they're holding the kids hostage wouldn't happen. There would be too many variables changing for it to occur the same way, but lets pretend it does.

(Neteyam is alive btw, just resting on his rock with Tsireya kindly mixing him up a poultice she learned from her Tsahik training. Lyle didn't kill him, but Neteyam definitely had to protect Lo'ak's dumbass in some way. That child is accident prone.)

Anyway, we've got Quaritch holding Kiri hostage. Jake is trying to keep Tuk out of harm's way. No one knows where the fuck Lo'ak is, but he's slippery enough to get himself out of anything. And then we've got Neytiri making a last ditch effort to protect her daughter by threatening to take away the last thing Quaritch loves; Spider.

In the background, we've got Tsu'tey. Breathing hard, slightly wounded from throwing himself around on a ship with broken equipment and guns getting fired at him from all directions.

Raised voices draw his attention. He's standing on the walkway overlooking the deck where the standoff is occurring. He spots Spider first, under Neytiri's blade, begging for Kiri's life instead of his own. Anger like he's never felt before curls hard in his stomach. The betrayal is worse than when Jake and Neytiri first mated. It was one thing to let his son get captured, it was another to murder him right in front of Tsu'tey.

Kiri's voice stops Tsu'tey from doing anything stupid in his blind rage. Every molecule of his body screams to defend his child, but common sense makes him take in the situation.

His head snaps to Quaritch holding Kiri hostage. To Jake within arms reach, but preoccupied with Tuk. To the knife drawing blood at Kiri's neck.

Tsu'tey also takes note of the clear shot he has from his vantage point. There is no conflict within him as he notches his bow. No concern for Spider's reaction, or the conflicted feelings he might have towards his birth father. Tsu'tey's mind is clear. His hands are steady. And his mind is made up.

He takes the shot, and nail's the recom through his right eye. The arrow - fired with all the strength he could muster - goes straight through bone and wedges in up to two thirds of its shaft.

Quaritch sways for a heartbeat, his knife clattering to the metal deck as Kiri tears away from him and throws herself at Jake. Then he collapses with a painful thump. Limps sprawling and his head lolling.

Slowly, Tsu'tey lowers his bow, his gaze narrowed and his tail whipping behind him. He catches Neytiri's eyes as the huntress and her family follow the direction the arrow had come from.

"Unhand. My. Son." Tsu'tey snarls, his voice ringing out over the soft crash of the waves and the pop of fire. His gaze is venomous, fingers twitching for another arrow if Neytiri doesn't back down. There's still a crazed edge to her gaze, a look Tsu'tey is sure he shares. He hasn't felt this shaken since Spider was taken.

Neytiri nods once. An acknowledgment. And lets Spider go.

His son stumbles away, furiously scrambling to put distance between himself and Neytiri. Kiri was quick to soothe him, check him for injuries as Jake carefully approached Neytiri to take the knife off of her.

Tsu'tey leaps down from the upper level. He can't be bothered to find the stairs and the height is nothing compared to what he has to deal with back in the forest. He keeps an eye on Neytiri, but knows that Jake has her now. Ears pricked in case of further enemies, Tsu'tey spares a few moments to kick Quaritch's corpse and make sure he fired a killing shot. The last thing he needed was to grow comfortable again and then in fifteen years have to deal with this bullshit all over again.

"Dad?" The quiet utterance has panic straightening his spine. It's not one of his nieces asking for Jake's attention. It's Spider's voice. Quiet and shaky and so vulnerable that Tsu'tey just wants to wrap himself up in his arms.

Instead, all he can think about is Quaritch's body at his feet. Tsu'tey's arrow protruding from his eye socket. His blood pooling at his feet.

Then it hits him all at once. Spider's birth dad is dead at his feet, and Tsu'tey put him there. Tsu'tey killed him. He didn't even ask. Spider spent months with this man - against his will - but not everything is black and white. They might have come to some understanding. He might of grown to know him outside of his video logs and the fleeting stories he overheard from the Omaticaya. Spider may have gotten to know Quaritch without the biased lense of hate everyone else talks about him with. And Tsu'tey murdered him. What's worse, he felt triumphant doing it.

Tsu'tey can feel his hands shaking, regardless of how tightly he grasped his bow. His ears were flat against his skull, his tail tucked in close to his legs. He prays he just looks like he's reflecting, in contrast to being crushed by the weight of his actions. And he keeps staring at Quaritch's corpse. The arrow. The blood.

"Dad?" Spider says again. A little louder. More confident. And it kills Tsu'tey as he cringes, eyes squeezing shut against the guilt.

A brush of a hand to his wrist. His eyes snap open, and there's Spider. Gazing up at him with wide, tearful eyes. His mask is slightly cracked and he's bleeding from his chest where Neytiri caught him with her blade. But there is no hatred in his expression. Only relief and exhaustion.

"Dad, are you okay?" Spider asks him, and he looks at Tsu'tey as he says it.

The realisation hits him like a sturmbeest stampede. That Spider was calling him Dad, not the corpse at his feet.

With a deep, shuddering breath, Tsu'tey pulls himself together. "I am." He reassures his son as he drops into a crouch. It is evident from Spider's expression that he doesn't believe him, but the boy doesn't push.

Instead, he throws his arms around Tsu'tey's neck and burries his face under his chin. Tsu'tey chuckles wetly, his arms wrapping around Spider and dragging him close. It soothes every raw instinct in him to finally have his boy back in his arms. Tired and injured, but safe.

Around him, he can hear the Sully family beginning to wade into the surf, so Tsu'tey tucks his arms under Spider's thighs and hoists him up onto his hip, like he used to when his son was still a toddler. Despite his age now, he's still the perfect size for Tsu'tey to carry unhindered out of the shipwreck.

BONUS:

[teatroll]

someone said "faking an orgasm with miguel is impossible"

so i said "nothing is impossible, baby gorilla" and wrote THIS

enjoy..?

+18; Miguel O'Hara × spider-girl!reader; memes, crack and a bit of smut; one phrase in Spanish; no uses of y/n

Your made up moan forces a low growl out of him. Right into your folds. Not like it was unpleasant or anything, but you were too distracted to notice it.

Now, why were you on your phone when Miguel O'Hara was eating you out like a gentleman?

Oh, that's because you agreed to meet up with your spider gang to watch a movie and you were already late, texting them "sorrys" and "brbacks".

Because Miguel is a feral beast and he pinned you to the wall when you were ready to head out, but you didn't mention that part.

A short "no" didn't cut it. A "i promised them" didn't work either. And since you're just unable to dismiss this man, you agreed because now he promised you to be quick.

Another lie you were facing currently, because it's been more than fifteen minutes during which you couldn't focus on his tongue circling your clit at all, because you were anxious.

Well, what can you say? The movie promised to be good, you kinda genuinely wanted to see it with your new friends.

But today promises seemed to be nothing but a lie well told.

"Oh, i'm cumming..." Jesus fucking Christ, that was so unrealistic you mentally smacked yourself in the face. Did Miguel also notice, or you just imagined that low rumble under the sheets? "Oh, wow, so good..."

How much more cringy can it get? You'd burst into laughter if you weren't texting into the groupchat right now.

Truth be told, it felt good. But Miguel always took his time with you, enjoying every whimper and moan rolling off your tongue, like it were angels singing. It was kinky, but not today. Today time is money, and in that case literally.

You let out another fake moan and slightly twitched your hips for a more plausible effect. Make 'em believe it feels good and they feel like champions afterwards. A motto that right now was useful.

Or wasn't it..?

Miguel's head poked out from under the sheets. A scowl on his face present.

"And what even was that?"

He snarled, showing off his fangs. A sight that usually made your heart rate speed up. Now? Only made you hum in thought.

"An orgasm?"

The silence was tangible as fuck now. O'Hara didn't even flinch when another fake smile appeared on your face.

Yeah, he called dibs on bullshit even before you opened your mouth, that's for sure.

"Miggy, i told you, i'm late!" You protested, lightly shaking your phone with an open groupchat. "Very sweet of you to show me this courtesy, but the guys are waiting for me in the theater!"

"You'll have to call it off." His hot breath on your skin makes you slightly shiver. "I'm not letting you go until i hear you pleading my name for more."

"In that case i'm not going anywhere at all!" You still pout, despite how sweet it feels when he presses a soft kiss to your inner thigh.

"That's why you'll call it off." Miguel hoarsely snickers in between your legs.

An eye roll from you doesn't change his mind at all.

"Miggy..." You start with a sly smile before flipping him off. "Vete a la mierda."

"I regret teaching you this." He sighs, pressing his cheek to your inner thigh.

"And i regret agreeing to this." You point with your free hand at O'Hara between your legs, which only makes him smirk.

And that's not his typical smug smirk at all. It's kind of predatory. Hot and dangerous? Yeah, that was it.

"You'll change your mind in just about now..." He hoarsely whispers before sinking his sharp canines into your sensitive flesh.

You loudly gasp, one hand already finding its way into his hair to tug on it desperately. As if that could ever make him stop.

Never in your whole relationship this worked, not even once. After a night well spent, you were always covered in those love bites, not just thigh wise.

And Miguel knew exactly what it did to you, how you can barely hold yourself just now, biting on your bottom lip so hard it draws blood. All that just to prevent a loud moan from escaping your mouth. And he seemed really intended to hear it, his two fingers slipping into you with ease as his thumb circled your now throbbing clit.

Jesus fucking Christ...

You mentally smacked yourself once again as your back arched in pleasure, a chocked moan finally finding its way out of you.

"Now that's much better, cariño." Miguel cooed before pressing another kiss to the love bite.

Were you fucked? Well, yeah, both literally and metaphorically.

Does it feel good? Absolutely, one hundred percent, big fat cock "yes".

However, there was a problem.

An open groupchat.

...

pavitr_loves_you:

guys, i'll go get popcorn! any requests?

gweaanda:

extra butter, please

kilometer_moralfull:

ooh!

i wanna try the blueberry one!

pavitr_loves_you:

got it 😉

capitalism_sucks:

pav wait up

i'll go with you

kilometer_moralfull:

anyone seen arachne?

capitalism_sucks:

nope

but i bet she got stuck in webs again

pavitr_loves_you:

🤔

gweaanda:

where is she at?

the movie starts soon

:arachnophobe is recording a voice message:

gweaanda:

finally!

what takes you so long?!

arachnophobe:

▶️---------0:02

kilometer_moralfull:

OMG

gweaanda:

...

sounds like someone is having fun already

capitalism_sucks:

it could be a metaphor

pavitr_loves_you:

what's in it? i can't listen yet, i'm paying up 😩

kilometer_moralfull:

PAVI DON'T !!!

HOBIE GET HIS PHONE RIGHT NOW

pavitr_loves_you:

already on it 👹

damn he got so many emojis

gweaanda:

yeah, anyways...

something tells me she's not coming

capitalism_sucks:

nah it sounds like she is

kilometer_moralfull:

PLEASE STOP ???

...

sorry not sorry..? ;)

[jake-g-lockley]

I'm back :D

OKAY so I have TWO prompts you can feel free to pick from whichever you want!! if one has already been written/requests then thats okay (its mainly why i picked two jUST IN CASE!!!!!)

How aboutttttt the cutie pie moon boys with either prompt #15 or #21?! I DONT MIND EITHER WHICHEVER WORKS BETTER FOR YOU (im so indecisive and they're both so cute?!?)

THANK YOU LOVELY!!!

Poison Tree (Moon Knight x reader)

Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Wanna be Tagged?

Prompt: the spider-man meme where they're all pointing at each other but it's a conversation like *i said i didn't like you like that because you said you didn't like me" "but i said i didn't like you because you were literally in love with someone else" then "i only said i was in love with them because you didn't want me!

A/N: Heya lovelyyy!! Thank you so much for the ask, I switched it up a tiny bit but I hope you like it ehhehe.

Warnings: everyone here is an idiot istg, a touch of angst, them not being able to say what they need to say, seriously; they have three people in their head and they’re that dumb? AHAHAH, light allusions to smut.

Word Count: 2.1 k 

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Buying things was something that plagued you like a weird disease that never went away. You didn’t have this type of luxury when you were younger, your mother always forced you to save whatever money you made and scared you into thinking that you would not have a single cent on you when you truly needed it. Funnily enough, when you started earning your own money, you gave in and started to spend on things that your mother would frown upon.

You stared up at the shelf of books before you, sighing frustratedly as you gazed at the beautiful new covers. You cursed yourself for walking into the new luxury bookstore that opened in the mall, your mother’s voice echoing loudly in your head. You screwed your eyes tightly and tried to imagine something that would pull you away from both the thought of buying the book and the sound of your mother’s grating voice.

You were laying down on the couch, your body aching deliciously from the weight of something covering you. Your hands were preoccupied, carding through soft curls as large hands squeezed your sides. You were smiling down at the person who was cuddling you close and the person looked up at you, big brown, doe like eyes meeting yours.

“You know I have those books in my flat?” a voice pulled you out of your little daydream making you gasp as you whirled around and your eyes met the same brown eyes you were imagining. 

Steven Grant was smiling at you, his lopsided grin matching his curls that flopped to his forehead. Steven always looked comfortable and you always had the inevitable urge to squeeze him. Oh, how you yearned to press your nose into his chest as you hugged him close. You faked a scowl and Steven’s grin got wider as his hand shot out and gripped your wrist.

“If you behave, I’ll let you borrow them someday.” his voice twisted your insides as he pulled you away from the shelf.

Your heart swooned whenever you were around Steven. He and the other two were your poison tree, the bunch you had intended to stay far away from but couldn’t get enough of. He gently pulled your book bag off your shoulder and slung it on his own as the both of you walked to the cafe that the both of you hung out at on a weekly basis. You’d mark your student’s exercise books while Steven did his research on the ancient artifact he was writing about.

At times, you’d feel his eyes on you and you knew it wasn’t exactly Steven looking at you anymore

“Hi, Marc.” you said, without looking up from what you were marking.

“I still don’t get how you do that.” The deep Chicago accent makes you shiver slightly.

“Your posture changes, dummy.” you said, earning a chuckle from him.

“How are the kids doing this week?” he asked, leaning forward to take a look at what you were marking. 

“Pretty good actually, their grammar is getting better and I think they enjoy my classes.”

“I’m sure they do, princesa.” came the beautiful spanish drawl. 

“Now, what did I say about switching mid conversation.” 

A long pause greeted you and you finally looked up from the book you were marking to see Jake staring at you with a satisfied smile.

“That it’s rude?”

“Mhmm.”

“I made you look though.” he winked at you and your insides turned into pure mush.

Outside, you rolled your eyes and casted your eyes back down onto the exercise book, holding back a grin of your own. 

“So, how is Mr. Daniels?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked back at Marc who was now leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed in front of him. You didn’t get why he would always ask you about the math teacher, you only called Mr. Daniels cute once in your life. 

“He’s good, I guess.” you took a sip of your coffee and bowed your head, not letting Marc see what was clearly written all over your face.

For months, you have been trying to get rid of the feelings you felt for the three men. They were absolutely beautiful and had personalities that fired up your very being, but an unfortunate incident stood between you and them.

Flashback

You and him were a little too close, you could see all of the little details of his face. You and him had demolished a bag of doritos and the empty wine glasses made the both of you giggle incredulously. You didn’t know who you were looking at, the alcohol muddling your brain as your eyes zeroed on the doritos dust at the side of his mouth. 

“You know I was thinking of asking Dylan out, the tour guide at the museum.” Steven’s voice burned a hole through your heart and you smiled, hiding the pain that coursed through you.

“You should.” you whispered, trying your hardest not to let your heart betray you.

“Jake suggested for me to take her out to that steak shop.” he leaned back into the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. 

“And what are you gonna eat there, silly.” you stifled a giggle.

“I dunno, bread, salad?” 

You tried to laugh the best you could despite the achy feeling at the pit of your stomach. 

End of flashback

“How’s Dylan?” you asked. 

“She’s alright.” Steven said softly. 

��Hmm.”

Your eyes caught a couple behind Steven and you smiled gently as one of them kissed the other one’s knuckles.

Jake noticed and turned around too, turning back to you with a grin and plucking the red pen out of your hand before suddenly taking your hand in his. Your heart blazed when you felt his lips on your knuckles and your breathing stopped for a second, his eyes shining with mischief. You quickly snatched your hand away from him and you could note the change in the way his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Hey, you know I was just joking, it didn’t mean anything.” he said quickly. 

It didn’t mean anything.

“Yea, I know, Jake , you don’t like me like that.” you said before you could stop yourself.

Jake’s thoughts raced as Marc and Steven panicked inside his head. They weren’t supposed to like you like that but they do and they wanted to stand on top of the table that you both were at and scream that fact at the top of their lungs.

You couldn’t mark anything anymore, with the way he kept reminding you of your failed love life. Your failed, unrequited love for them. You snatched the pen back from him and tapped the book in front of you, thinking of your next move. You quickly grab your phone and text one of your friends, Sam. Code red, the code you always used to get out of situations you didn’t like and you were feeling really uncomfortable with the energy you had created. 

A few minutes later, to your pure relief, your friend called you.

“Oh, umm, I have to go, Sam is stuck in a … situation.” you say as you frantically shove your stuff into your bag.

“Right, let me help you with that.” Steven said, standing up, a worried look on his face.

“It's okay, I got it.” you gave him a reassuring smile and tucked a five pound bill under the coffee.

“I’ll see you.”

“Yeah.” Steven rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if he had said anything out of the way, his heart pounding as he watched you walk out of the cafe.

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You woke up hours later to a knock at your door. Your face was wet and you checked your phone for any messages, absolutely shocked to see about 14 missed calls from the boys, another five from your best friend and dozens of messages. You flung yourself out of bed and ran to the front door

You opened it to see a frantic Jake standing outside, his hair a mess. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you close, mumbling something into your hair in spanish.

“Shit, I thought something happened when you didn’t answer your calls. I called Sam and she couldn’t get a hold of you.” Jake’s voice was bubbling with tears and you looked up at him in shock. 

“Jake, I-” suddenly, his lips were on yours and you felt yourself being lifted off your feet.

The kiss was as frantic as he looked and you became putty in his arms as you tried your best to steady yourself. You pulled away and stared at the man in front of you, only to see Steven’s eyes staring back. Your hands came up to touch your lips and you couldn’t help but touch his lips too. 

“Sorry, fuck, I know you’re with-” you cut him off with another kiss and you felt all of your worries wash over you.

Your hands grip his face and you hold onto him until the both of you are out of air. 

“Fuck, what about Dy-” you pulled away and started to say, but Marc pushed you against the wall and caught your lips with his again, wordlessly asking you to jump as he gripped your hips hard. 

You jumped and wrapped your legs around his torso, your bodies sandwiched together. Your hands carded up his curls and you pulled on them for purchase, causing him to groan against your lips. 

“Wait, Marc, Jake, Steven, what’s happening.” you pull away, your confusion creeping up the satisfied feeling that you were feeling. 

You couldn’t tell who had control of the body as they pushed their forehead against yours, just holding you against the wall. 

“I don’t know,” you heard Steven’s voice whisper as he ducked his head lower.

Your hands were still in his hair and you pulled him closer.

“Put me down.” you whispered after a while and unlocked your ankles.

Their eyes were casted downward as they tried their best to not look at you. You pulled them to your dining table and busied yourself with making a cup of tea, chewing at your swollen bottom lip, wondering what had just happened. You wanted to feel it again so bad, the passion they pushed upon you was so fiery that you wanted nothing more but to have it course through your veins again. You sighed as you pushed the cup of tea in front of them.

“Whoever is fronting, could you please just explain what happened?” you calmly asked. 

When their eyes met with your’s, you could clearly see Marc’s sadness and it crushed your heart.

“We’re sorry we springed on you like that.” he whispered. “The truth is, I- we are in love with you.'' The last bit of his sentence came out like it was a harsh secret, clawing its way out of his voice box. 

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Fuck.” was all you could say as you swallowed down your own tears. 

“But we know that you don’t feel like that for us, so you-” he continued. 

“Wait, who said that?” you cut him off, your heart thudding in your chest.

“You did.” Steven mumbled. “Just now, we only said that we didn’t like you like that because you made it clear how you felt about us.” 

“But- but I only did that because you have feelings for someone else! You know? The woman you are dating!” 

“We only said that because you said you found the math teacher at your school cute!” Marc slammed his hand down, making you jump. “We’re not dating Dylan!”

“I was joking, you dumbass! Oh my fucking god!” you slammed your hands down and stood up, pushing Marc’s chair back and straddling him without another word.

You kissed him like you meant it, putting your soul out there so that it would meet theirs. All the anger you felt was channeled back into the kiss and you wanted them to choke on their own passion with the way you pressed yourself against them. Marc sighed against your lips and melted away, letting the body switch frantically between Steven, himself and Jake. When you finally felt satisfied you pulled away and gave them a small smile.

“You boys love me huh?” you brushed their fringe away from their face and looked into the eyes that held the only three that you would hand your heart to. “Well, I love you too, cowards.”

“Hey, watch who you’re calling a coward.” Steven’s hands gripped hard at your hips as he grinned up at you, leaning in and kissing you softly. 

After a while he brought his lips next to your ear, he whispers “This coward won’t let you borrow his books until he makes you forget your own name.”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head, wondering what awaited at the top of the poison tree you managed to climb up on. 

Reblogs are appreciated ~~~

Taglist: @fandxmslxt69 @randomnessfangirl @in-between-the-cafes @bodhisattva11 @marc-spectors-wife @nyotamalfoy @steven-grants-world @jbearre85 @whatsliferightnow @excitedcurtain864 @minigirl87 @wonderfulboiledcoldpotato @alexxavicry @autismsupermusicalassassin @flordelalunas @marygraceee @lia275 @euphoricosmo @sky-robin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sugarpunch-princess @violet-19999 @celiaswife @swiggy-needs-mental-help @ghostheartbeat @kierramofficial @ryebreadsworld @your-voice-is-mellifluous @lil-stark @absolutelybloodyhopeless @mintpurplemnm @spookyysilverr @bubblezuku

[frostcorpsclub]

25 and 40 for Suzy from the Weirdly Specific OC Questions meme 💙

25. What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot?

Art history! Her mother was one of those rich people who would have kept an artist around to commission lots of paintings and statues like in the renaissance if she could, she was an avid collector of art. Trips to the gallery and art auctions were some of the only times Suzy was on her best behavior so her mother would bring her! She was genuinely interested and it was the one positive of an otherwise toxic relationship so it’s something Suzy cherishes. Florian Althaus who I’ve mentioned minimally before, was Eloise’s affair partner and Suzy’s music/german teacher, he was an art collector by profession. So it has been a near constant in her life.

You may have seen me joke about Jack liking trash tv like “Pawn Stars,” this is really the only time her love of art history and antiques comes up. He loves the trash portion and she loves the treasure, giving him subtle clues so he has more fun making guesses about the items while thinking he deduced them himself.

It’s funny because people always ask what age gap couples have in common which is a fair question but Jack being so old and Suzy being so rich it kind of cancels out LOL

40. How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head?

I’m going to do you one better and also tell you how she’d respond to a handshake that’s too hard too, because something I’ve noticed is that some men (I’ve seen videos of women discussing it) will hurt a woman on purpose with their handshakes as a power move.

Loose and weak: It depends on what else she observes about the person but either way it isn’t good.

If a man shaking her hand is relatively young she would take a matronly stance, turning her nose up and explaining that this is something that simply must be fixed if he was going to make any good impressions in his industry. If he’s like a teenager/child level of young she gives him some grace, but the behavior still must be corrected.

If it’s an older and more important man she would probably keep it to herself as she understands social hierarchies of course, but it will affect the way she talks about him with others. She’d see him as feeble and nervous, she can smell his fear or his inadequacies and she won’t keep her mouth shut if someone asks for her opinions. Which people often do, her instincts may be petty and persnickety but sometimes they’re right.

She doesn’t usually shake hands with women but if she does it isn’t that big of a deal to hear, the other woman probably just isn’t used to doing it. Suzy would judge the fact she went in for a handshake at all over the quality of it, then again, why do it if you are going to fail at it!

Overcompensating: Now THIS is where she’s at her best hehehe

Suzy isn’t one of those pick me girls who agrees with everything a man says for attention and validation, even if she pretends to be to piss people off. She can pick out a man who’s overcompensating from a mile away. She contemplates them as the spider contemplates a fly in its web. If she has any say in the matter she will try to stick back and catch his eye, hide behind her fan and make herself small and demure, but also ensure there’s others around her. Hopefully other men who care for her.

When she finally goes in for the kill she gingerly places her hand in his at which point the man would squeeze like he was trying to break her hand. She lets out the most pathetic princessly yelp she can muster and looks at him with her mouth agape.

“Do you mean to beset me Sir?!”

She looks around to make sure people are watching.

“That is NOT a gentleman’s handshake!” (/ref)

You may think that a man doing that probably would feel good about hurting a woman but that’s not the point, she can give him the win of getting a reaction out of her in exchange for publicly humiliating him.

[crypticjackal13]

I have been hyper fixed on Red son for the past month and also LMK characters meeting future children with the reader. But I wanted a more extended story Red son meeting his future child and not the short bulletins and stuff.

Maybe it set like Meet The Robinson’s where Red is shoved into the future by accident but the only difference is that he knows that the child is his and the readers (He’s smart like that). They both try to get Red son back to the present while trying to not let the reader and the others know that he’s from the past. He gets to met his “friends” when their older and it’s really strange to him. I don’t really know how to end it so take as much creative liberty as you want with this story!

Oh my gosh I haven't watched Meet the Robinsons in FOREVER

Also. I did my best but this is more just a story of "oh woops time travel!" So enjoy lol

"No Touchy Please"(736 wc)

Redson meeting his and reader's future child

Fun oneshot

Pronouns: any for Redson, you/yours but you're not really involved

CW: uhhh none??

“What…where am I?” Redson got up from his spot on the ground as he tried to get a handle on their surroundings. One moment, she had been in their lab, showing y/n his new Time Machine…the next, there was a flash of light and they had no clue where he was. 

Dusting themselves off, they recognized the space. Albeit covered in different blueprints and furniture, the room was the same—it was still the lab they always worked in. It was even still missing its smoke detector, for obvious reasons.

They walked over and examined the first paper they could see. It was a messy sketch, but he could tell it was meant to be a hover bike. What made it special, a poorly handwritten note said, was that the wheels could transform and make it a regular bike if needed. Smart, they thought.

The sound of the door’s code being entered caught his attention and immediately they prepared to either hide or attack. What threw them off was the appearance of a teenager-looking person.

He was below her current height, with messy red hair that was pulled back into a bun that clearly was too much for the hair tie. He had eyes that were the same color as y/n’s. And there was a sizable seat of bull horns with a bull tail to match.

“What on earth…Who are you?!” They both pointed at each other, like that one Spider-Man meme that Mei had shown Redson a while ago. It would have made them laugh, were they not currently panicking and realizing that not only had the time machine worked, but they were face to face with his and y/n’s child.

“I’m the owner of this lab! And you—“ the teen paused, looking Redson up and down. “—look scarily like my dad.” 

“That’s because I am! But, if I know anything about time travel, I can’t see myself. So now I’m making it both our problem.” They fixed their glasses. With a scoff, the teenager looked around. 

“I don’t see a time machine.”

“So I’ll make a new one while I’m here,” Redson began poking around the different toolboxes and scrap metal in the space. “In the meantime, what’s your name?”

“It’s Zhou. And I can help, you know!”

They continued to try and make small talk with each other while they worked to put together a much more compact version of the time machine, however Redson couldn’t help but be distracted by Zhou. Sure, he looked like Red, but he acted a lot like y/n. He was careful with whatever he built, and his powers were concentrated. He grew worried when he’d almost accidentally burnt Redson, even though they both were fireproof. It honestly was sweet to see.

“There. Now I’ll be going—“ Red stopped when Zhou caught them by the hand.

“You can’t just jump in! You need to do a test run!” He suggested. Red stepped back and looked around, before seeing a blank piece of paper and crumpling it. She threw it inside the machine and set it to a few weeks in the future. 

“If I’m correct, which I usually am, this paper will come back and be a small pile of dust.” They pressed the buttons and the machine vanished in a flash of light. It reappeared only a moment later. Lo and behold, the paper was no longer a crumpled ball, but was a small dirt pile. 

“I guess it does work.” Zhou said. 

“Indeed. I’ll be off now,” Redson paused halfway into the machine, looking back at her future child. He stood with a hand on his other arm, tail swaying as he looked at the ground. Redson sighed. They reached a hand out and patted him on the head. “Thank you for helping me. I can’t wait to meet you again.”

And in another flash of light, the machine was gone. 

Redson was happy to reappear in the lab again, this time right where they were before. Y/n was still sitting in the chair that was closer to the desk. 

“So, how was it?” She asked.

“Huh? How long was I gone?”

“Only a few seconds. What’d you see?”

“Oh, um…” Red hesitated, stepping out and dusting themselves off. “I don’t know. It looked about the same.”

“Aw man. No cool flying cars?”

“My love, we literally have hover bikes.”

“Oh, right!”

[foxboyclit]

fox i have decided to bother you for storyteller saturday this week, bc modern au obedience has destroyed my brain, and im sure you've posted *something* about it before, but i want to inflict modern au Nydalla's on you. because. ruthless businesswoman Minisstra...

that's all i've got but you know. i am. Contemplating

(pretend there's a question in here somewhere)

i posted something abt modern au Nydallas and tbh i havent come up with much else other than Vibes but heres some more bullet points for you:

Iphis is somewhere in his mid 20s and Minnies in her mid 40s

the times either of them were recovering from surgery were hell for other internet users. the amount of rancid drama a single tranny stuck on the couch can manifest is astronomical

Minisstras fashion is p much all sleek black dresses with silver jewelry

just swap the rise and fall of Menzo Houses with like...the stock exchange and thats what theyre constantly freaking out over

she'd text like an Old Lady with some modern slang/memes jarringly thrown in based on whatever Iphis recently explained to her. like how does she know what hot girl summer means

Iphis is just getting into trouble and hooking up with various people while shes at work

his phone is just full of those texts like "wow there's nothing i like about you" "tell me more~" "this isnt sexting" "its better than sexting". youve seen those compilations im sure. insufferable man

@hyenagirlbulge's stellar addition: Iphis is a Harvard business school dropout

bonus: Iphis' tumblr would probably be something like spiderboyhole bc i think its funny. its all black and purple aesthetic selfies. hes been banned multiple times for starting fights and being too horny for tumblr

i get what you said about vivien bc when you take the spider mommy death cult indoctrination out theyre like....So Much Worse

[findroleplay]

Looking for Discord RP partner!!

Discord base, but i am okay with tumblr! If you want to do multiple I can make a server

DNI if youre a minor please!!! I will ask and double check!

I like either multi para, semi para (its only okay if you make sure to still have details and feelings!!) I can try novella but I mainly do a most 3 paragraph!

3rd person only please! a lot easier for me

nsfw is okay and i'm down but i don't want it to be the main plot point

I like angst, action, au's, comedy, romance, smut, i'm okay with crossovers!

I also would love to be able to chit chat with you! sending memes and what not!

Fandoms

characters i’m looking to write with || who i’m looking to write as

listed in order of preference.

canon, canon divergent, AU friendly

OCS Welcome as well! some pairings I'll be using my OC

One of my OCs I use for more than one verse

Bleach

Renji, Ichigo || Rukia

Avatar / Avatar: The Way of Water

Jake || Neytiri

Lo'ak || Tsireya

Rotxo, Ao'nung || Kiri

Neteyam, Rotxo, Ao'nung || my oc ( Ma'via)

How to Train Your Dragon

Hiccup || Astrid

Marvel

Spider-man, Peter Parker || Flora (my oc) MJ

Avatar the Last Airbender

Zuko, Sokka || Toph, Mei

Code Lyoko

Ulrich || Yumi

Odd || Flora (oc)

Teen Titans

Robin || Starfire, Raven, Flora (oc)

Beast Boy || Terra, Raven, Flora

Legend of Korra

Bolin, Mako || Flora (oc)

Asami || Korra

Naruto

Naruto || Hinata

Shikamaru, Kiba || Flora

Disney

Shang || Mulan

These are all off the top of head right now, if there something that isn't on here or a pairing, we can discuss, dm me or interact with this post and I will hit you up so we can discuss // note: I'm looking to be the female role! I'm not great at playing male roles

-

[affectionatealien]

Hmmmm. It's my self insert so I get to decide how self indulgent I get even if it feels silly/ like a stretch to me....

I think it'd be fun if my tf2 insert and engie met at some point prior... thinking abt the idea of before Mann co./ in between getting his 11 phds he does more work that's like. Working on machines vs building them since it's a good tie into engineering... whether it's as a side thing or maybe family related work since the conaghers have been doing engineering and all for awhile. Either way the point is I think at least one of his degrees is in biomedical engineering so it'd be fun if we met bc he did service stuff for like. Hospital machinery. Guy who occasionally shows up to work on our busted lab machines and we chit chat occasionally. Maybe has to stay a night or two waiting for replacement parts for something weird ome time and I show him around our tiny ass town. Doesn't go anywhere serious but its a nice little distraction for us both. Fast forward 10 years and we are both looking at each other thinking "huh that guy looks familiar" before it clicks like a week later and we're just that spider man pointing at himself meme

[somewhereinthepines]

I was reading chapter 5 of GP again and was going over the interaction that Chris and Ryan had, and I still don't quite understand what Chris was aiming to achieve with it. Much like Ryan. I understand that it had to do with paying attention and doing as you're told, so I thought that maybe that's what Chris wanted Ryan to do? Because in chapter 6, when he was breaking down a little, he told Ryan that he wasn't reading enough into what was going on between them (either that or he meant his condition). And that got me thinking that maybe in chap 5, he was trying to get him to pay attention to idk, the way he acts towards Ryan and why that is? He really got me confused. Imagine that Spider-Man meme where the 3 of them are in a triangle position pointing at each other that's me trying to unpuzzle Mr H's reasonings, plus Ryan, haha.

Also, I love how you portrayed Chris's darker side in that chapter (5). The way he kept invading Ry-Man's personal space, just a little, but enough to have an effect on him, it was hot, and poor Ryan had no idea what to do with himself. It made me wanna revisit chap 4 as well since that's where Chris's wolfish behaviours started rearing its head more. And that got me thinking about why exactly Dylan's comments to Ryan about him triggered the events of chap 5 & 6. Because we know Chris overheard Dylan teasing Ryan about the whole "do you know what Mr H's dick looks like?" thing, and then started teasing about the size of it...but I'm still stumped about why Chris would be annoyed that Dylan was talking to Ryan about it...unless he read into it with his "I refuse to allow this little upstart to ruin and pull my favourite counsellor away from me" shades on? There was also the detail of Dylan initiating simple contact with Ryan, but that too stumps me because yesss we know you're jelly Chris, but to go so far...hmm, why? Ohh and I loved the detail with him watching Ryan walk far away until he couldn't see him anymore, it was low-key creepy when I thought about it a bit more, but deliciously so! And the way Ryan was like "pfft, Chris will never know I've not actually gone to the toilet." and I was like either he has a secret camera around there...or he had decided to follow him.

Ahhh, I just love all the details so much! I can't wait until the next chapter when Ryan snoops around and when Chris comes back in the morning. Like Chris is gonna be feeling rough after shifting, and he's gonna be bombarded with Ryan's scent all over his things. He's gonna know he's been snooping, but the reaction.. oh, I'm excited. Besides those things, I was thinking about when Dylan was in his office in-game, he describes Kaylee and Caleb as "weird kids" so he has to have met them, so I was wondering if they might make an appearance like that? I thought it was nice of Ryan to defend them when he countered him by saying that he liked them. It was a little thing, but I thought it was sweet of him because he's usually quiet-spoken. I like the idea of Ryan genuinely being their friend like you showed in SB, I mean they were implied to be kinda close in-game with the one photo and stuff, but I really liked how you fleshed it out. Like I can imagine everyone being at camp, and the Hacketts show up and the other counsellors like Dylan think they're "weird", but Ryan makes an effort to show them that he likes that they're there. Chris would appreciate Ryan including and interacting with them, especially if the other counsellors wouldn't. Another imagining I had was where they're all there at camp, and some of the counsellors are making comments or bothering/low-key bullying Ryan, and Kaylee and Caleb are NOT having it. It's hard to imagine how they'd react exactly, like maybe overtly irritated, or passive-aggressively? I like thinking about another scenario as well, like where Ryan figures out that his trio of Hackett's are werewolves, and he just looks out for them. Kaylee and Caleb would finally have someone from the outside that knows their secret, and whom they don't have to hide from.

Sorry about the longish rambles, these were just some things I'd been thinking about and compiled into one ask, haha.

ahhh, chris had some specific idea at first. he knew, that ryan was lying to him, bc he supposedly went to the toilet like what 2 hours ago and now, he needs to go again? it’s a bit too soon for someone of his age lol. esp if he wasn’t drinking water to speed up the process. *taps the chin* in a way, this is a pretty basic observation on chris’s end. the rest was more of an educated guess. tho, i doubt that anyone, but him paid attention to it. like, to how often ryan eats/drinks water lol. chris is his ‘caretaker’, so it’s clearly ‘normal’ for him to pay attention to it. *nods* yup, nothing even slightly weird here. 

but ah, back to the main reason why chris picked such a method and what he wanted to achieve. well, at the very beginning, it was a lesson in discipline, making ryan wait, making him squirm and realize, that chris can be stern, if he (wants) has to be. he often gives ryan a leeway, he always goes easy on him. let him bend the rules and rarely scolds him. so it’s time to make the boy recall, who is ‘in charge’ lol. chris is actually kinda low-key bullied ryan through the whole ‘waiting’ process. it’s almost like he couldn’t help himself, but be a bit mean. and unknowingly this is how chris edged himself into what happened next. he told ryan to piss a few feet away from him, simply bc he wanted to see if he would. and bc he wanted to be there, if/when he’ll do it. he wanted his fav boy to piss in front of him. that’s really this pervented in the end, haha. the first part of it was a lesson, but then it escalated, bc chris couldn’t tell himself ‘no’. he repress his desire for ryan so hard, so that when an opportunity to at least get a bit close to things, that he wants to do, presents itself, he’s just so weak. he can’t simply remain in his ‘right mind’. and it was a day before the full moon. i imagine, that it’s when chris goes through some very violent mental motions. like he’s totally jerked off, after that whole thing with ryan, haha. and naturally, on the next day, when he realized what he allowed himself to do, and just how ‘horrible’ it was of him to let it happen...oh boy, chris got so deeply upset with himself. he is ryan’s mentor and friend, he shouldn’t do these things. ryan trusts him and he’s just being ‘terrible’, haha. so yeah, it started as a ‘lesson’ and ended up into a kink, that chris had no idea he had. all that rambling, that he does when he tells ryan to take a piss, is him self-soothing himself. if he’ll frame it as a continuation of a ‘lesson’, then it would make this less bad, right? hopefully, this explains it! like part of the reason why that fic will be darker, is bc ryan & chris surely will get more unhinged about one another later on. so it means, a kink or two. 

and thank you! chris’s darker side is certainly an interesting topic. he tries so hard to be ‘good’, but at the end of the day, he’s still a wolf. and ah, chris wasn’t pissed off bc of dylan’s comments per say. what had truly irked him was that ryan would go out of his way to not rat dylan out. bc really, he could have been like yeah, dylan asked me about that stuff. and that’s it. he wouldn’t have been in trouble, if he didn’t lie. from chris’s perspective, it looked less like ‘dylan is being vulgar’ and more as ‘ryan would lie for this guy’. but why would he do such a thing? why would ryan lie to chris, for some…dude? that’s so baffling to him. naturally, he’s not a fan of some random kid talking about his dick size, either lol. but it’s very small, compared to how ryan would attempt to fool him, when he seemingly had no reason to. and what if, ryan would do it again afterwards? what if it would go further, than this? inside chris’s mind, ryan doesn’t need ‘friends’ like this, esp bc he knows, that dylan aims to smth more. not just being buds. which is just unacceptable lol. for his own safety, dylan better settle for nick or smth…

the next chapter is ⅓ written lol. and dang, ryan would get some bad ideas after his findings. chris won’t be ready, haha. i almost feel bad for him. bc he would return being all like ‘i will make it right by ryan this time’. and like yeah no, my man. you won’t, haha. also, ryan would have no idea why chris would react the way he does. in his eyes, it went well. he would be so proud of himself, thinking: ‘i was so sneaky and stealthy, while i roamed through chris’s things. he didn’t notice anything’. and to chris it’ll be the opposite: ‘everything smells like ryan now. fuck my life’. 

oh tbh, i imagine, that ryan made friends with kaylee and caleb so easily, bc they’re ‘different’ from his other peers. ryan himself is a weird kid. so it makes sense, that he would feel comfortable with someone, who also doesn’t quite fit in. and i’m glad, that you liked my version of them. they’re fun extras and they will make an appearance, along with some uh ‘newer’ side-cast additions. and well, since we don’t know how exactly ryan met chris’s kids in canon, it’s always nice to imagine how it could have gone down. esp if yeah, ryan actually made an effort to socialize with them, despite being pretty quiet on main. and in my version, kaylee would definitely beat up anyone, who would have bullied ryan for real lol. and caleb, while most likely closer to personality to his father, would have also made sure, that no one would tease ryan too hard. i think, that he’s one of those chill dudes, who are actually hella scary, if he’ll get angry lol. kinda like chris. and ah, it would have been nice, if the game actually allowed ryan to pick a side. if he could know that chris & his kids were werewolves, and chose to stand them still. tho, won’t lie, i still chuckle a bit, when in the game, they find kaylee dead, and ryan is like shell-shocked and then, a second later is like fuck, what do we tell chris!? i swear, that kid is so single-minded, haha. his friend died and he still managed to track it back to her father, almost instantly. and it all happens, while dylan might be missing a hand, and nick being all weird toward abi in the background. but ryan is still going on and on about their camp operator.

and aw, please don’t be sorry about that! these things really make me happy. I always talk in long paragraphs, so it’s cool to see someone, who’s also invested in possible dynamics/ideas/motions. and who’s not afraid to talk about it as detailed as they wanna. and i always appreciate hearing your thoughts! or receiving asks! it really makes my day! 

[aimmyarrowshigh]

For the WIP Game, MCU - A Quantum Universe

Oooh, I'm excited about this one and hope that I really do actually find the time to write it once I finish Lent From Tomorrow (and probably Please Stand By?). I actually got the idea from an anon who messaged me last time I did a fic meme -- if anyone reading this is that anon, please tell me so I can credit you properly! -- but: ok.

So.

This is an Endgame AU where Thanos' snap Dusts either all men or just all of the male superheroes (haven't decided yet) but either way: all of the male superheroes are Dusted. So it's up to the woman superheroes to save the universe and bring back the other half of the universe and whatnot. Up in space, Captain Marvel finds Nebula and Mantis and they go to Earth to find out what happened. Natasha is leading what's left of the Avengers (so, uh, her, Wanda, and Maria Hill) and teaming up with Okoye, Shuri, and the Dora to do all of the humanitarian stuff that EG totally ignores but that we get hints that Nat's been coordinating during the Blip.

MEANWHILE IN SAN FRANCISCO, Janet Van Dyne and Hope contact eminent astrophysicists Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis because they think (idk some technobabble I will figure out). They decide to contact the lady Avengers and offer their help. Probably Katy is their lyft driver across the country.

Time keeps going while they build a new quantum tunnel, but they need more than to be able to enter and exit the quantum realm. They need to be able to traverse the multiverse.

Nat's like, "I know a brilliant scientist," and she contacts Melina and Yelena. Possibly there's a subplot about Madame Hydra Val and Powerbroker Sharon but idk. Something something Ten Rings Xialing.

Like twoooo-ish years into the Blip, there's someone standing outside of the Compound gates a la Scott Lang, but it's not Scott. He got Dusted. It's Kate Bishop and her martial arts sparring partner, MJ Jones-Watson. Kate claims to be the best archer left on Earth, if they need a new Hawkeye. MJ basically says, "I'm pretty sure I went to school with Spider-Man? I'm not sticky, but I'm good at aerial silks and martial arts, and also engineering, and I want to help?" Possibly Riri shows up with them, too, idk.

At some point Carol shows back up with Monica, Maria who DID NOT DIE, and Kamala.

The greatest minds of the MCU are all working on how to travel the multiverse to get the stones safely but it's not working. Science! is not enough on its own.

Enter Wanda's chaos magic. And maybe Agatha? Undecided. And maybe America? Also undecided.

So the women team up into groups to go to different universes adjacent to the MCU's main universe to get the stones, and no one goddamn leaves anyone for Peggy.

And possibly Nat and Yelena are who go to Vormir. Undecided.

Yadadada, they get the stones, build their own gauntlet, nobody betrays anyone because they didn't meet up with Old Nebula, Captain Marvel snaps because duh, and the menfolk heroes are back. Everyone rides off into the sunset, alive and with who they're supposed to be with.

Fin.

P.S. Except Vision is still dead, sorry Wanda.

[leam1983]

On Aging

So, I'm turning forty next June, I'm increasingly aware that Cerebral Palsy is kicking my ass, motor controls-wise, and my ability to push back against Time and Age is understandably limited. That informs, among many things, my very careful response to the Fat Positivity movement, and the fact that as someone who's under threat of generalized immobility, I just cannot accept "You do you, fuck kinesiologists and GPs" as an argument.

So, even though I'm nowhere near fat, I'm pushing back. What pisses me off, though, is when the family figures it'll cheer me up with a mass email of photos dredged out of decades' worth of family albums, with the basic concept of telling me How Thin I Used to Be.

I wish I could tell my parents that there's a difference between being seventeen and having the metabolism of a gerbil on PCP and being forty and needing to consider every single meal carefully. Anything fatty goes to the hips and abdomen, now, and I can barely manage forty crunches on a good day. That's after years of efforts. Another reminder: I'm disabled. Your cookie-cutter training and cardio regimen is either more demanding for me, or flat-out impossible on the structural level.

I wish I could remind my parents that I used to be depressed, awkward, sexually repressed and confused, and that I alternated between periods of near-ascetism and honest bulemia. The same teen I used to be could snub his favourite pasta and spend weeks subsisting on a finger's worth of steak and one or two veggies, while simultaneously hoovering three Extra Large pizzas in a single sitting. I either ate nothing at all or ate like a whale and remained rail-thin whatever I ingested. I was pale and I considered myself a Goth, and only started gaining some color and muscular definition in my mid-twenties. As my thirties rolled in, my metabolism slowed down but I kept the same student-worthy diet. I slowly gained weight.

Then came the pandemic. Same results overall, just on a longer and slower scale. I tried to work out dilligently, but carbs were readily available at pretty much any given time - and quarantine made me feel depressed. Food was an easy dopamine-release trigger. Fast-forward to now and you've got a Brain Gremlin that's stable, but overweight - and one that's hugging the walls to get around. One who needs a cane or a bigger guy's arm for support.

One who's aware the next step is the walker - or the wheelchair.

I'm trying, and I've got help, but it's hard. Walt and Sarah have realistic expectations, but I think my mother thinks she'll wake up to a scene similar to the first Spider-Man in the Raimi continuity, where Pete goes to bed scrawny-soft and wakes up shredded, limber and flexible.

I don't wake up more beefy on a day-to-day basis, and my cane game has its ups and downs. The problem is, it never feels like it's enough.

And as ever, the parental whinging enters the fray. "We don't want you to end up in a wheelchair, Grem."

What if it's already too late? When I have good days, someone in the family has ambitions of "treating me" to eight hours of unassisted shopping mall walking. When I have bad days, I don't do enough, apparently. I need to try Pilates, Yoga, this exercise routine or that exercise routine. Oh, look, check out this low-impact set on YouTube-

I'm close to that Breaking Bad meme where Skyler White begs Mary Schrader to just shut up - to the point of screaming.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

Move over MCU. Step aside, DCEU. Get the hell out of the way MonsterVerse. The big boys are in town now, as Sony Picture’s Universe of Marvel Characters (SPUMC for short) has dropped the finest piece of cinema mankind has ever seen: Morbius. Starring God’s gift to humanity Jared Leto as the titular Living Vampire, this movie is such a morbtastic experience that it’s no wonder it grossed a morbillion dollars at the box office, cured the impotence of everyone who went to see it, and has been nominated for every Oscar imaginable. Truly we live in a society—or, better yet, a morbciety.

...Ok, yeah, I’m not doing the whole review like that.

This movie’s reputation truly precedes it. It’s hard to say people were actually excited for this, but as soon as Morbius hit theaters it became the laughingstock of superhero cinema; it even released after numerous delays on April 1, perhaps the most apt date possible for a film such as this. Not only did this movie bomb, the Sony execs saw the memes and decided to put it back into theaters only for it to bomb again. That’s right, this movie bombed twice. It truly is the anti-Avatar, and is the perfect showcase for how utterly out of touch Sony is with what audiences actually want from their Spider-Man villain spin-off movies.

The movie does have a fandom… kind of. The main “fandom” is generally comprised of people who probably never watched the movie, a bunch of ironic memers who have transformed the film into something of a memetic badass, a film that can unite the world, end poverty, and even take your virginity. A big part of it is obviously the name of the character; Morbius is just a fun name to say. Another part is definitely that the title role is being played by reviled actor Jared Leto, a man only tolerated when he’s being brutally murdered by Christian Bale, beaten to a pulp by Edward Norton, or in a film that contains Ryan Gosling. The film was basically doomed to memedom from the start.

Now that things have cooled down a bit and the memers have moved on to The Rise of Gru, it’s time for me to ask: Is Morbius really that bad, or is there morb to it than meets the eye?

THE GOOD

Sigh… Ok. Jared Leto is alright here.

Look, I hate Jared Leto as a person. I think he’s a creep, I think he’s an obnoxious asshole with his method acting, there’s nothing nice I have to say about him in those regards. But he’s (unfortunately) not a bad actor, and even with what little the script is giving him here I think he does a solid job at making Michael Morbius a decent protagonist. He’s definitely not on the level of Andrew Garfield trying valiantly to save the dumpster fire that was the Amazing Spider-Man duology, but he’s at least in the same zip code.

The action isn’t too bad either, even though there isn’t a whole lot of it. There’s a lot of slow-mo to the point where it’s like something out of a Zack Snyder movie, but the effect with the color trails is really pretty and visually appealing, and there’s also a part where Matt Smith kills half a dozen cops singlehandedly before Fortnite dancing over their corpses. It’s PG-13 violence, sure, but it is enjoyable in its own way.

Speaking of Matt Smith… It’s finally time to

HAVE SEX!

Matt Smith’s Milo is the absolute best part of the film, full stop. Smith manages to channel exactly what is needed for any given scene. When it’s time for drama, he actually gives a pretty heartfelt performance, especially during his character’s death scene; while it’s not quite as strong as it could be, his relationship with Morbius is actually handled fairly decent, all things considered. But the real fun comes when it’s time to play a campy, hammy supervillain. Smith goes balls-to-the-wall, absolutely apeshit, dancing and being smug and just morbing people for shits and giggles. He basically does a 180 in terms of personality, with a tiny bit of foreshadowing early on that doesn’t entirely mesh with his reasoning for killing, but frankly it’s too goddamn fun to care. Smith owns this movie.

THE BAD

Almost every bit of writing in this film just falls completely flat. Aside from Milo and Morbius, every single character is underbaked. Morbius’s girlfriend? Morbius and Milo’s mentor? The two cops investigating the vampire killings? All of them are rather flat and not explored to any great extent, and considering one of the cops flippantly admits to not caring about murdered mercs because they might have done something bad and thinks you can call a cat by shaking its litterbox, I need to know more. What the fuck is wrong with this lunatic? Please explain, movie.

The story is a mess too, and is shockingly low stakes and features things happening solely to happen. Morbius catches all those vampire bats at the start offscreen, because fuck showing us that. Morbius gets a boat full of illegal mercs to do his bat research because fuck it, plot contrivance. Like yes, there is little bits of dialogue that set these things up, but they’re so baffling and confusing and downright stupid that you can’t really care if the movie justifies them. For a movie that was continuously delayed, it’s pretty obvious no one thought to go and run the script by an editor a couple more times.

Of course, the single worst thing in the movie by a country mile is the credits scenes featuring Michael Keaton as Adrian Toomes.

Literally everything about his appearance is the biggest load of bullshit imaginable. Now, he is ostensibly here because of the spell Doctor Strange cast at the end of No Way Home, that much can easily be surmised. And yet, nothing about that makes sense. The spell sent people like Andrew!Peter, Tobey!Peter, and their villains back to their home universe and made everyone forget who Tom!Peter is, so by the actual rules of the spell the only thing that should have happened with Toomes is that he should have forgotten Spider-Man was Peter. That’s it. Why he got teleported into the Sony-verse is anyone’s guess, as is his complete lack of care that he is now likely never going to see his beloved wife and daughter again. He makes some comment about hoping the prison food in the new universe is better, and that’s it for angst from Mr. Toomes despite the fact he is now separated from the very people he turned to crime for in the first place.

And somehow, some way, they manage to make this even worse and stupider. Morbius meets up with Toomes in his full Vulture suit, which he somehow acquired despite Tinkerer and the Chitauri scrap used to make said suit not even existing in this new universe, and Vulture drops this wonderful gem of a line: “I’m not sure how I got here. Has to do with Spider-Man, I think.” This is it. The “Somehow, Palpatine has returned” of superhero cinema. Just an astounding, insanely lazy way of establishing something that spits in the face of logic and reason. Why is he blaming Spider-Man for this, when last he remembered Spider-Man saved his ass to the point where Toomes willingly protected the guy’s identity in prison? Hell, there’s no indication Spider-Man even exists in this universe!

And even that isn’t the worst part! The worst part is how completely nonsensical Leto’s replies to Keaton are, showing that this whole thing is just a bunch of greenscreen and ADR bullshit that was slapped together to set up another (likely ill-fated) attempt at a Sinister Six movie. The whole scene is just jaw-droppingly embarassing.

Oh, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he never says “It’s Morbin’ time!”

Is It Really THAT Bad?

Honestly, it’s not that bad. It’s not good, but it isn’t awful. It is essentially a throwback to early 2000s superhero films… with all the good and bad that entails. Most of the characters are one-dimensional, the plot rarely makes sense, and its attempt at setting up a sequel is so idiotic that it makes the Dark Universe look dignified in comparison. And yet, there’s still some fun to be had when it’s Morbin’ time, and Morbius morbs all over some bad guys. And Milo is definitely a fun antagonist, despite how utterly stupid and nonsensical his turn to villainy is.

If I’d compare it to anything, it would be the Ben Affleck Daredevil movie, and honestly how well you like or can tolerate that movie will likely be an indicator as to whether you can like or tolerate this one. Frankly, this just seems to be the angle Sony is going for with its cinematic universe: Trashy, early 2000s superhero throwabacks that feel like they belong on the shelf at Blockbuster. I’m okay with these kind of schlocky films existing, because frankly I’d like a few superhero films that are hilariously dumb as opposed to being genuinely awful. This is nowhere near the fun stupidity of the Venom movies, but I think if you get on board with the Morb, you’ll have a decent enough time. I think it’s a bit too low, I’d bring it up to a 5.7 at least, but it’s definitely no higher than a 6.

As my brother put it, “There’s 90 minutes of my life I’m never getting back… It was Morbificent.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 324: Is There a Force Field Around Him??

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal was all “please tell Midoriya that I spent a concerningly small amount of money upgrading U.A. into a wacky physics-defying funtime grid so as to make the final battle much more confusing for everyone.” Present Day!Mic (or Present!Mic, if you will) and Jeanist were all “if only somebody could deescalate this dangerously unhinged mob, we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas.” Ochako was all “LISTEN UP PEOPLE.” The mob was all, “god??” Ochako was all, “NO, IT’S ME, OCHAKO. I’M REALLY HIGH UP ON THIS BUILDING AND THE VISIBILITY IS LOW DUE TO THE RAIN, SO I CAN SEE HOW YOU MIGHT MAKE THAT MISTAKE. ANYWAYS, DEKU WAS OUT THERE RISKING HIS LIFE FOR YOU CLOWNS EVEN THOUGH HE’S JUST A KID, SO I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD ALL REMEMBER HOW TO BE DECENT HUMAN BEINGS, THANKS.” Let’s see if her Big Scolding Energy has any impact.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so I have this speech planned out, and it’s really good, but it also only really needs about 6 to 8 pages, but I’m gonna see if I can stretch it out to 17 pages so I can kill time before we get to the next volume cliffhanger two weeks from now.” Anyway but it really is a good speech though. There are feels, and tears, and more talk about how Deku is so in need of a shower that just looking at him requires a tetanus booster, and more feels, and more tears, and bonus ship drama, and an iconic callback to the very first chapter which reframes the entire series in a new context in a totally epic and moving way, and it’s all very good. Except that Horikoshi is determined to never let anyone actually give this kid a hug. Who hurt you, dude.

omg we are opening on a callback to chapter 212, a.k.a. the chapter with by far the cutest flashback that doesn’t involve any baby Todorokis

baby Ochako is lethally cute. she could literally murder someone with her cuteness. I just want to scoop her up and play airplane with her until she accidentally activates her quirk while we’re spinning around and we both helicopter up into the air never to be seen again

“a child’s insistence” huh well that’s all well and good, but I sure hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to drag out the whole “sternly lecture the obnoxious citizens” plot for another whole chapter. no offense but I think we’re good

so page 2 is just continuing the whole happy/worried faces monologue, which of course is very important to Ochako’s character as it provides the context for why “who protects the heroes” ended up becoming her thing. and this is making me think we actually are in for a whole second chapter of this sob. when will my boy finally get to rest

OH MY GOD SUDDENLY THESE PEOPLE HAVE EYES IMAGINE THAT

HORIKOSHI: [reaches for a box of tissues while tearfully penning an homage to his beloved Spider-Man 2, specifically the train scene where the crowd sees Peter without his mask and they suddenly realize just how young he is]

HORIKOSHI’S HOMAGE SCENE: “COME TO THINK OF IT, I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF MEAN FOR US TO PICK ON THIS TEN YEAR OLD KID WHO WEIGHS 75 POUNDS AND LOOKS LIKE HE LOST A FIGHT WITH SATAN’S MOLDY OLD BASEMENT”

lol at this one guy who can feel the mood of the crowd shifting and is all “WAIT, NO, I WANTED TO KEEP BEING AN ASSHOLE DAMMIT”

as many pointed out last week, this man is wearing an All Might shirt. that’s some fantastic irony there

-- SDKFJWIGKS

“LITTLE GIRL, I HOPE YOU’RE NOT SUGGESTING THAT WE SHOULD ALL BE WALKING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A SOVIET-ERA BUS STOP.” heh. last week I said I was ashamed of BnHA being my favorite manga. that was a lie, actually

(ETA: in the original Japanese Ochako’s next two lines are basically “the only ones covered in mud will be us heroes!” followed by “please give us some time to get rid of the mud”, with that second line basically being the single funniest thing I’ve ever read rdslkjl. Ochako thank you so much for supporting my running gags. “YEAH WE KNOW HE’S DIRTY. WE ARE GONNA TRY AND CLEAN HIM UP, BUT IT MAY TAKE A WHILE, I’M JUST SAYING. I MEAN LOOK AT HIM. HE LOOKS LIKE AN ASBESTOS COSPLAY.”)

doesn’t the megaphone kind of look ever so slightly like an axe that she’s wielding maniacally here

easy there Lizzie Borden

also that’s a really bold claim to make there. and not one she necessarily should have to make, either. but as we all know, there’s nothing that shounen manga likes more than having its heroes bravely hoist heavy burdens of responsibility like good self-sacrificing citizens

p.s. lowkey loving how Kacchan is positioned here standing slightly behind Deku. not presuming to stand in front of him all overprotectively (because he would hate if anyone ever did that to him), and kind of being unobtrusive and letting others take center stage -- but still being close enough to Deku that he can catch him if he stumbles or passes out again

(ETA: or maybe not lmao.

DEKU: [falls to his knees]

KACCHAN: [glancing up from his phone a few minutes later] “someone just sent me the stupidest meme about milk crates -- oh. uh. you good...?”

really, son. “the burdens you can’t carry, we’ll carry them for you. ...later, I mean. right now it’s late, and we’re all cold and wet.”)

also lowkey loving this OchaTsu moment here

I was going back and binging Ochako chapters this past week for reasons, and I gotta say it really stuck out to me just how often these two are paired with each other. they do everything together. it’s a really sweet friendship that often goes unappreciated but it’s very cute

meanwhile, not to be outdone by the OchaTsu, Iida is staring at Ochako with open admiration talking about how she’s fighting too. it’s been so long since we’ve had any IidaRaka you guys. I was starving and I didn’t even know it

oh my lord IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING

THE LIGHT IS BACK. he finally looks like him again. what a cathartic fucking moment omg

ffklkdw

“I KNOW YOU ARE ALL SCARED, BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE DEFINITELY CANNOT GUARANTEE YOUR SAFETY AND WE ARE ALL SCARED TOO!” good pep talk there kiddo

BUT, jokes aside, truth be told this is the exact right approach to take imo, and something that’s long overdue. I’ve said this before, but this new generation of heroes is shaping up to be much more transparent than the All Might generation. they’re basically abandoning the almighty, untouchable Superman “heroes as gods” concept in favor of the more nuanced “heroes as people” concept instead. and that’s a good thing. seeing their heroes as humans, with human limitations and weaknesses and flaws, will hopefully not only lead to more scrutiny and accountability, but also more awareness of how hard some of them are working and how much they’re sacrificing. that’s something All Might never quite grasped back at the start of the series -- that the weak, vulnerable, injured him could be just as inspiring as the mighty, invincible him -- perhaps even more so. there’s a power in seeing otherwise ordinary people show extraordinary bravery and compassion. it inspires others to try and do the same

SSDLHK AIZAWA SIGHTING AAHHHHHH

so he was still back at the hospital this whole time?? smdh at this disrespect. that feeling when your sexy self-insert character’s powers of rationality are too strong, and so you have to nerf him so that he doesn’t ruin your Deku Angst arc twice over by (1) immediately talking some sense into Deku and making him come home Right This Instant Young Man, and (2) not allowing him to leave U.A. in the first fucking place. excuse me, you want to do WHAT now, Midoriya?? that’s it, go to your room

also living for Katsuki and Hawks’s soft expressions. Shouto’s too, although his is tinier and harder to see. and Jeanist’s 12-foot-long neck. imagine Jeanist’s head with Mic’s hair. maybe Jeanist had a mohawk back in the day and that’s why U.A.’s doors are so big now

speaking of soft faces, Enji’s is also excellent

what could this random close-up possibly imply?? hell if I know. but Horikoshi truly fears no discourse and that’s what I love about him

OMGGGG

“smh my child is so dumb.” poor Ochadad. your child is cute af count your blessings

SDOFFHSMH

I’m telling you guys. lethally, catastrophically cute

this speech is still ongoing lol. Horikoshi you’re doing so good but I think we get the point now my dude. you gotta learn how to transition out of these things

UNEXPECTED TOGA WHAT

“there we go” Horikoshi says, crossing off the last line on his list of Ochako ships. “that’s all of ‘em”

poor Ochako is just repeating the same “LET HIM REST, PLEASE, WITH EVERYONE’S COOPERATION, IF YOU DON’T MIND, WE APPRECIATE IT” talking points over and over again hoping someone will throw her a bone and acknowledge her already. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HER

literally they’re all just staring up at her silently omg. work with me people!!

now she’s saying it for the 56th time but more dramatically all of a sudden

they got so dramatic that for a minute I thought she had suddenly leaped off the building or something

look, not to rush you or anything Horikoshi, but I’m starting to get the feeling that this is yet another one of those “the volume is ending soon so I need to either hurry things up or slow things down in order to make sure we end it on my perfect cliffhanger ending” chapters where you go to ridiculous lengths to drag things out much to the exasperation of your week-to-week readers

(ETA: ftr, volume 31 ended on chapter 306, and I’m predicting that vol. 32 will end with chapter 316 (a.k.a. “you’re next!” [explodes]). I’m guessing vol. 33 will follow suit and likely end on chapter 326, so keep your eyes peeled for a big cliffhanger in two weeks’ time. Deku’s dad?? All Might in peril?? U.A. traitor at long fucking last?? we shall see.)

is Deku straight up falling in love with Ochako right on the spot lol what is happening

I know I just said that I enjoy when Horikoshi gives zero fucks about discourse, but shipping discourse is a whole different beast lol. I hope he’s prepared

(ETA: and for the record, I have no interest in shipping discourse either, as always. and I think this scene can be interpreted as platonic, tbh, with the context being that Ochako was literally introduced as someone who was willing to help him so casually without a second thought, and now here she is saving him again.

I don’t think it really fully hit Deku until this moment how much he needed saving. like I said in another meta somewhere, selflessness is basically just selfishness on behalf of others. and Deku is selfless to a fault, but that’s okay, and it doesn’t mean he needs to change -- he just needs friends who are willing to be be selfish on his behalf in turn. and I think the full emotion of what it means to have friends like that just hit him at last. everything his friends have done for him, how much he needed it and didn’t even realize, and how grateful he is. anyways what a terrible day for rain.)

-- son of a --

is he apologizing?? or pleading?? please tell me that’s not the case, because what the actual fuck. Deku you beautiful precious radiant selfless child, this is the exact opposite of how this should be. all these motherfuckers should be on their knees apologizing to you

DEKU WHY

I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS FREAKING BOMBARDMENT OF EMOTIONS GODDAMIT. OUT HERE ARMED WITH YOUR FREAKING TREBUCHET OF FEELS TO LAUNCH AT ME UNPROVOKED. WHAT’S WITH THAT

FREAKING CHRIST. THIS BOY IS CRYING HIS EYES OUT AND HORIKOSHI IS JUST ZOOMING IN WITH THE CAMERA, LIKE CAN WE JUST CUT HIM A BREAK ALREADY. ENOUGH OF THIS. HE’S SO YOUNG AND HE TRIES SO HARD AND I JUST NEED HIM TO FEEL SAFE, HORIKOSHI PLEASE CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THAT ALREADY WHAT IS THE FREAKING HOLD UP!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY!!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY PLEASE BE MY HUGGER BY PROXY!! SERIOUSLY GIRL IF YOU JUST HOLD YOUR UMBRELLA OVER HIM OR SOMETHING AND DON’T GO THE EXTRA MILE I’M ABOUT TO LODGE AN OFFICIAL COMPLAINT. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW

!!!!

A KOUTA IS GOOD TOO!!! oh my god if Kouta hugs him I will seriously 100% straight up cry. go on and test me

FOR THE LOVE OF --

is this man expressly forbidden from drawing hugs in his contract or something. DO YOU DO IT JUST TO SPITE ME?? this is tyranny, sir

AND I KNOW, THIS PAGE ACTUALLY CHALLENGED THE VERY PREMISE OF THE SERIES ITSELF, AND HERE I AM COMPLAINING ABOUT HUGS, OR THE LACK THEREOF. “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes.” and just like that, he waves a polite middle finger at all of the Strongest Greatest Chosen One shounen protags of old, in favor of something much less conventional, much more interesting, and much more suited to Deku’s character. because if that one sentence doesn’t just sum up Deku to a T. he gladly relinquishes his Greatest Hero status in favor of acknowledging the hero in everyone. what a class act. that’s my protagonist

I love this kid so fucking much I swear. only just PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. GIVE HIM HIS HUG

[softgrungeprophet]

i WILL say that while i think joe kelly is vastly more successful with the tongue-in-cheek quippiness than a lot of other writers who try to do constant banter, there are def still places where it falls flat, and i find it weird that he has the head nazi shithead (aka zemo lol) using Hip “Millennial/Gen Z” Slang (aka appropriated AAVE) considering the racial things at play there linguistically etc but at the same time it’s a choice that i can’t say isn’t potentially justified in this context, especially if you wanna talk about the greater trends of white power and the (mis)use of AAVE and vernaculars outside of the predominantly white “““standard”““ for english and of modern/young fascists and neo-nazis, cryptofash etc. using memes, coded language, and other “trends” including things lifted from black culture

but somehow i doubt that was uh. that thoroughly thought through. though i guess there’s an essay in there about either that OR about modern cape comic writers’ leaning on vocabulary they’ve picked up from younger audiences who’ve picked it up (often incorrectly) from black english

anyway, even if it was that thought through it still might not have necessarily been the right choice for this specific character... but i really don’t know, i don’t really read a lot of comics that heavily feature hydra—obviously. i’m a spider-man fan. i read street level shit.

anywhooo

as far as peter goes, even with the over-leaning on being Cool And Young, kelly (the writer) still manages to have an overall pretty solid grasp on peter’s personality imo; his anger, his being pretty fucking smart, and his being incredibly deliberate in everything he does—measuring out his anger, controlling himself, monitoring everything around him, thinking a thousand miles a minute, and running himself ragged for the sake of other people while also sometimes missing the big picture because of his focus on getting from point a to point b, so in that case i think kelly (the character) is a fairly effective foil to him in being better able to look at the big picture and detach herself in a way that pete is incapable of ...

if i can go on a tangent, since this is a comic made by two people who worked (albeit on separate arcs) on ANOTHER comic i can name—

sm/dp was, perhaps ironically? one of the first spidey comics i read, for better or for worse, but i think... much as i’m really not interested in spideypool itself (only once for about a month) or its fans for the most part, i do think that even in those comics, like, even pushing these two disparate characters together, kelly still had a solid grasp on peter in that the way he wrote peter in THOSE comics was STILL this way—still angry, vicious, analytical, shortsighted, etc. and capable of intense violence and yes lethality. and it’s funny because to be honest in those earlier arcs of that comic, it really feels like peter ... doesn’t really care about wade at all; i mean to me it generally seemed that he was extremely detached from him in a lot of ways and that while he ended up knowing a not totally insignificant amount about wade i don’t feel like it went the other way... and like, not just in a regular spidey secret identity way you know, like there are a lot of people who did not know peter’s identity and some who still don’t who he is still pretty close to even in the mask, and to me this didn’t feel like that? right? it’s not like a... early spidey + torch days you know? like to me it did read as if he were kind of holding DP at arm’s length for most of the stuff through the first arcs, before the author switches and stuff.

but uhhh i guess that’s not good shipping fodder lol

but for as much as it’s a series basically predicated on “how can we squeeze more money out of a subset of fandom we’re not profiting off of effectively?” i do think there are solid aspects of it that do show at least a pretty solid grasp on peter’s overall personality and demeanor and i think joe carries that into non-stop as well.

(can’t speak for wade, i haven’t bothered reading any DP comics, i don’t think they’re really my thing. I’m super picky about 4th wall breaking for one thing. and for another i’m just not suuuuper interested in them. shrug. i’m sure there are some good ones, i’ll probably never read em, such is life.)

ANYWAY

also the layouts and art in non-stop are stellar. hugely dynamic, bold, well paced and wonderfully composed etc. love to see a comic book that just LOOKS this good.

it does feel like bachalo may have been a little rushed or on a tight deadline at times, but it retains a slick sense of style overall and thankfully a lot less weird sexy framing for the female characters compared to his work in sm/dp