#either way I’ll still go im happy ti see a drag show again

[anarciax3]

I haven’t been active for ages but anetra cancelled her uk tour and my date isn’t even getting moved they’re just replacing her and I can’t refund :(

[24hlevi]

Dangerous Lovers

Suguru Niragi (Alice In Borderland) X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff? i don’t really know tbh

Summary: Upon first meeting Y/n, Niragi always had his gun in her face. Now, he points it to anyone who threatens or does something he doesn’t like to Y/n

Word Count:  1.5k

A/N: Italics means flashbacks, i love niragi so im very happy i got this request 💙

gif is not mine !

When you first arrived at The Beach, you still had barely any clue on what was going on. You had played a few of the deadly games but still had no idea what anything meant. So when you stumbled across the large location and being forced inside. Well, it didn’t exactly go very well.

You sat in the chair with your hands tied behind your back with a group of people surrounding you. When the man with long brown hair and sunglasses on cleared his throat, you looked over at him.

“Welcome to The Beach. My name is Hatter.” He said to you. “Now tell me, do you know what this place is?”

You shook your head in response, glancing around at everyone else who was in the room.

“Then I shall explain. This is a safe location where we all contribute to one thing, collecting all of the cards of the deck and helping 1 person go back home.” Hatter explained. “Do you understand the cards and their meanings?”

You shook your head again, “No.”

“Ah.” Hatter nodded. “So here’s how it is then. Spades mean a strength game, Clubs mean a team battle, Diamonds mean wits, and Hearts mean betrayal. The number of the card is the level of difficulty. Quite easy to understand, yes?”

You nodded slowly, “Yes.”

“Good! Now let me see the cards you have.” Hatter held his hand out towards you before realizing you were still tied up. “Oh, that’s right, Hey.” He snapped his fingers and pointed to the man that was leaning up against the wall with a sword in his hands, hood over his head as tattoos ran down his head and face. “Untie her.” Hatter pointed to you.

The male nodded, walking over to you and raising his sword before cutting the rope that held your hands tied together. You looked from the man to Hatter who had his hand out towards you still. You dug into your pants pocket and took out the one card you had which was an 8 of hearts.

Hatter looked at the card and a smile lit upon his face as he looked back at you, “Well, my dear, here’s what you can do. Join us at The Beach and help contribute to collect all the cards, or leave and die very quickly.”

You didn’t respond for a few seconds as you looked around before back at the man standing in front of you. “It seems I don’t have much of a choice so I’ll join, I guess.” You replied.

“Great!” Hatter clapped his hands together. “Before you go, though. There are 3 rules here at The Beach. 1, Always wear a bathing suit. 2, Feel free to live your life exactly as you wish, that included drugs, alcohol. And 3, death to all traitors.” He told you.

Your eyes widened a bit at the last rule he said but you nodded anyway, “Okay.”

“Great! Now someone get her a bathing suit while I get her a room.” Hatter told everyone before walking away and out of the room.

You stood up from the chair and glanced around before stopping once you noticed a raven-haired man with many piercings looking at you, gun over his shoulder. You quickly looked away and started to walk but you didn’t get very far before the male rushed in front of you, putting the tip of the gun right in your face, making you stop abruptly, eyes wide.

“What’s your name, hot stuff?” The man smirked at you.

“Y/n.” You replied quickly.

His smirk remained on his face as he spoke again, “Come with me then, Y/n. I’ll show you a real good time while stuck here.”

“I would accept, but you’re still a stranger.” You responded, continuously looking from him back to the gun that was still pointed at your face.

“Tsh.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he clicked the safety off the gun. “I’d chose your words carefully, princess.”

A tall and extremely intimidating bald man walked by you two and he stopped beside Niragi. “Cut her some slack, Niragi. You can’t go around killing our new recruits, especially when she got us a high card for hearts.”

NIragi scoffed again and took his gun away from your face, looking back at you. “I ain’t a stranger anymore, so how about you come with me? But you can’t say no.”

You just nodded in agreement, not wanting to get killed the first day you were there.

A smirk fell back on Niragi’s face as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, “Let’s go then, princess.”

After that happened, you had grown to develop a liking to the male but not exactly knowing why. But after a few drinks with him one night and long kissing sessions, you two had decided to make it official that you were his and his only. Shortly after that he taught you how to shoot a gun and protect yourself in case anything went wrong and he even convinced Aguni to let you carry a gun with you anywhere you went. Since that, you two had become known as the dangerous lovers from the people at The Beach after Niragi taught you how to also not take shit from anyone and how to get what you want and when you want it.

Now, everyone knew not to mess with either of you, but you especially because they knew the consequences that would happen if they did anything to you that Niragi didn’t like or felt was threatening to you. When you first met Arisu who was extremely sweet to you, Niragi took notice and pointed his gun at the boy.

“The hell do you think you’re trying to do?” Niragi growled, pointing his gun right at Arisu.

Arisu’s eyes widened as he raised his hands up in surrender, “I wasn’t trying to do anything I swear!”

Niragi eyed down the boy and scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Sure. You’re just being ‘nice’ to my girl.” He clicked the safety off the gun.

Arisu’s eyes went even wider as he looked between you and your boyfriend, “I didn’t know, I swear! I just wanted to find out how everything worked here!”

You put your hand on Niragi’ shoulder and he turned his head to look at you. “It’s okay, babe. Besides, I have a feeling we’re going to need him.”

Niragi looked back at Arisu and tossed him a hard glare, taking the gun away from his face and putting it back over his shoulder, “Just know this, kid. She’s mine.”

Arisu nodded quickly, “Got it!” He said before quickly walking off.

You let out a short chuckle while watching Arisu speed walk away and you looked back at Niragi, “Trust me, baby, you won’t ever lose me.”

“Damn right I won’t.” Niragi leaned down and kissed you.

Then there was another time when Chishiya wanted to be an annoying fuck like he is when you were at a game with him and Niragi and he kept helping you with strategies and he even dragged you away from Niragi for a bit of the game.

“Chishiya what the fuck are you doing?” You hissed quietly in a whisper, “Niragi is by himself.”

“That man can take care of himself.” Chishiya responded.

You rolled your eyes at the male before questioning him, “You’re doing this just to piss him off, aren’t you?”

“Obviously.” Chishiya nodded, “It’s funny seeing him get all mad.”

“Fucking hell.” You mumbled to yourself before looking back at him, “You know, I’m not even surprised anymore.”

“You little fuck.” You heard Niragi’s voice from behind you, causing you to turn your head and look at him, seeing he had his gun pointed at Chishiya.

“Ah look, there’s the boyfriend of the year.” Chishiya said sarcastically, raising his hands up in defense.

Niragi glared harshly at the other male and grabbed your hand, pulling towards him, keeping the gun held at Chishiya. “Fuck off from my girl or else your brain will end up scattered on the floor.”

“Whatever you say.” Chishiya said as he walked away from you both. “But we both know Y/n could use a little variety in her men.”

“You little motherfucker!”

You had to admit, you liked it when Niragi got protective over you and would scare the shit out of people, but you knew when to stop him if it was getting too far which it almost never did because everyone would usually back off immediately after seeing the gun up in their face. Plus, it meant that everyone knew you were his, and you both wanted to keep it that way. And you did the whoke time. Sure, there were scary moments when he would lose his head for a couple minutes, but you knew how to deal with it, and Niragi loved that. Knowing that you weren’t scared of him and he could go as far as he wanted and you still wouldn’t be scared of him. He didn’t know the reason why, but he didn’t care much. You two were the couple that no one wanted to fuck with.

A pair of dangerous lovers.

[kittydripuwu]

Hello omegeee I'm so happy when I found your request open T____T. Can I request for Chuuya x female s/o fic angst to fluff or slight/implied nfsw in the end(if its okay to you , if not it fine hihi) where S/o is a civilian and got hostage, hurt, or kidnap what ever u like and then chuuya found out and gone rage mode and save her after that he tells her that he blame himself for getting her in trouble or hurt. Omege I know it's too much u can change few things. Thank youuu in advance. Sending virtual hearts and hugs

thank you for ur request <3 i rlly enjoyed writing this one, hope you like it :)

i'll protect you | chuuya x fem!reader

word count - 1211

warnings - some angst, abit of violence, swearing, implied nsfw at the end

genre - angst, fluff

it was a nice and warm day outside, and you had decided to go out. after it raining for the last 3 days, you needed some air. chuuya left to work early and you were going to walk around yokohama and maybe do some shopping. you were feeling good about yourself, wearing a nice outfit and just listening to music as you walked.

you were walking by an alleyway, when someone grabbed you by the arm and dragged you towards them, causing you to fall into the alley. you looked up to see a young looking guy in a hoodie. before you were able to ask him who he was and what he wanted, two more guys ran up behind you. the guy in the hoodie kneeled down to your level and grabbed your face with his hands.

"don't say a word, and we won't hurt you" he said.

you were scared, you have no idea what would happen to you. you tried to think of a way to get away but you were cornered in this dead-end alleyway, with 2 guys blocking your way out. you thought that maybe if you tried to run really fast, you could have made it and ran away. as you were about to stand up and make a run for it, one of the guys grabbed your wrists and tied them together from the back.

you were scared to yell, what would they do to you? if only chuuya was here.. you thought.

soon enough, you heard a car pull up on the street which the alley was looking out on. they put tape over your mouth, making sure you don't yell, and dragged you inside the car. the drive was awful, you had no idea what was going on, you were trying to struggle against the ropes but it only resulted in one of the guys, slapping you, hard, right on your cheek. it hurt, you felt a stinging sensation and began to cry.

soon, you were brought into a house, quite secluded, in a small forest. you were placed into a room, and locked in there, with no phone or bag.

meanwhile, chuuya was pretty much done for the day, it was around 6 pm and he had nothing else to do for mori that day so he decided he would call you to check if you were home, or if you were out so he could meet you wherever you were.

the kidnappers had taken your phone. you heard it ring and tried to struggle or make any sort of noise, but of course, no one would have helped you.

"ah its the fucking bastard calling" you heard one of the guys speak to the others.

"watch him get all sad and worried about her"

"he killed my older brother, so this is what he fucking gets. soon, his precious little girlfriend will be as good as gone to him"

"do you think he'll find us here?"

"nah man, we're in the middle of a fucking forest, how would he find us here"

they all began to laugh. these were distant conversations you were hearing coming from your kidnappers, meanwhile, you had tears flowing from your eyes, and you were consumed by fear. why did they take you? why YOU?

when you weren't replying to chuuya, he began to panic, he knew you always had your ringer on, so why couldn't you answer? what had happened? where were you?

oh wait. he remembered that he had your location on his phone. you shared your location with each other so you could always know if either of you were in trouble. he opened the location app and it showed that you were in a forest, not far from where he was.

when he got there, he heard men's voices, but no sign of yours. he felt rage building up inside him. he was gonna beat the fuck out of whoever laid a hand on you. he kicked the door down, only to see 3 guys standing around a table.

"where the fuck is y/n" he said, sounding angrier than ever.

the guys began to laugh.

"follow me" he said, leading chuuya to the room which you were tied up in.

he opened the door to reveal you tied up, crying, unable to speak due to the tape on your mouth.

"fuckers" he muttered under his breath right before one of the guys tried to hit him with what looked like a bat.

chuuya instantly knocked the guy unconscious.

"dont you ever fucking think of laying a hand on my girl ever again" he said as he easily took out one more guy.

the last one was left, pointing a gun at chuuya. this made chuuya laugh.

"you really think you're scaring me?" chuuya said, laughing.

"you fucking killed my brother, and you're going to pay" said the man, as he shot twice at chuuya, only to find out that, it didn't hit him.

"what the fuck?" he said, trying to shoot again.

"gravity manipulation" chuuya said calmly, as he kicked the bullets right back to the guy who shot him.

he then ran back into the room that you were in to untie you and take the tape off your mouth.

"babe im so sorry" he said apologetically as you threw yourself into his arms, burying your face into his neck.

he hugged you tightly as he heard your sobs, letting you cry into his shoulder.

"baby, did they hurt you?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

"n-no but they did slap me" you replied in between sobs. you instantly felt chuuya tense up.

"those fuckers" he muttered.

"i'm so sorry baby, i should have come earlier" he added.

"n-no please chuuya, i-its not your fault, please can we go home" you said, trying to calm him down.

"yeah let's get you home" he replied and walked out of the house.

when you got home, chuuya let you clean yourself off and change while he brought you a glass of water and something to eat. after you showered, you saw chuuya waiting for you on the bed. he was sitting up against the pillows, waiting for you to crawl into his arms. and when you did, he hugged you tightly, made sure you knew that you were safe with him.

"i'm sorry love" he said as he gently rubbed your back, feeling you melt in his arms.

"please don't apologize, there's nothing you could have done earlier, i'm just glad to be back in your arms" you said, still trembling a little from earlier. you began to trace little patterns on his bare chest with your finger.

"i'll make sure it never happens again baby, i'll protect you better from now on" he said.

"you're so adorable when you talk to me like that" you said, giggling.

chuuya tilted your chin upwards and kissed you to shut you up before you said anything else.

"don't go running that pretty little mouth now baby, we can save that for later mkay?" he said while moving so that he was right on top of you.

the moment he pinned your hands above your head, you knew what you had coming for you, and you knew, you were going to have one hell of a night.

[almondmilks-posts]

Schlatt- executed pt2

*I am so proud of part 1

pls go show some love

Maybe a SERIES?? Maybe pt3??? Maybe some more angst?? Maybe some cute fluff with glatt?? Maybe idk if you would like to see more uwu

This took so long omg... I'm sorry

Context: in part 1 you became ghost!y/n much like Ghostbur  you forgot most of your memories including your death...

Life after death was weird. You had very vague memories of each member of the sever but other than that you completely forgot about your past life including how you died. You never expected that you would become a sentiant ghost on the server after death you also never expected Wilbur to become one either so here we are. You took a great liking to Ghostbur as he did to you, you both hanging out became a regular occurrence on the SMP you mainly liked hanging around quackity he had these homely vibes to him that made you want to be around him but you were not quite sure why although he had been seeing you less and less and when you did meet he seemed on edge always looking behind him, shaking his head off to the distance when you turn around, nothing.

You didn't know why Ghostbusr was obsessed with the colour blue, always handing out lapis lazuli to saddened goes by with a "here have some blue" but he always did. You guys can't mine down in the caves something about bedrock pressure?  but he always had stacks of blue on him at all times.

You- hey bur where do you get the blue from?

Ghostbur- oh uhhh umm I just have it sometimes I get it from Phill

You- oh cool. I want something I'm not sure I've decided on what...

Ghostbur- hmmmmm y/n how about

You- I know red mushrooms because they look so cool like lil toadstools.

Ghostbur- yes that's such a good idea

You- I need to ask Phil to see if he has any spare mushrooms adiós bur I'll see you later.

You began to float your way over the the snowy tundra that Phil resides in. You passed many different landmarks on your way only knowing by the names you and ghostbur had given them. Home home also known as the community House although in ruins after it was exploded by puffy. You did try to stop her however your attempts were unsuccessful. 

You- omg I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going here look I have some seeds take this as a sorry

You were in your thoughts so much that you had phased into a body. As a ghost you are able to phase through people However you phased into the body meaning whoever you walked into was not alive. You reached your arms into your pockets to see what you have as a sorry before the mushrooms which you still haven't been managed to find any. Thecno needing them for potions ofc knowing the butcher army was coming for him he planicked stealing so many resources including some of blue from Wilbur accidentally. You found three seeds in your pockets your had picked up from when you were hanging around Callahan (he's my fav on the SMP omg) and punz this one time just giving while punz went on a nether mission for ghast tears. You extended your arm out to the person, lifting your head up to look the person in the eyes.

Glatt- y/n?

He had Horns. Deep black horns protruding out the side of his head. His skin a pale grey ash colour, contrasting his flaming red eyeballs which looked down upon you due to the height difference. His suit a very dark grey almost black but not quite,  You looked at him than back at the seeds. He seemed like he didn't take any interest in taking the seeds from you as a sorry, you furrowed your eye brows at his sort of question? You really didn't remember your past life, thecno told you that most ghosts don't when they die the ones that do are 'poor damned souls of wrong doers' comforting you that you did some good when you were living.

You- uhh sorry I don't know a y/n?? Im ghosty/n! Well it would make sense that I'm y/n well was y/n hahahaha I don't remember much from my past life unfortunately

Glatt- you don't- you don't remember how you died do you?

You- uhhh no? Should I? I ask quackity you know quackity right? Small guy, blue beanie anyway he wouldn't tell me how I died he said it was a too long to explain anyway I gotta go bye uhhhh...

Glatt- oh it's glatt

You- well nice to meet you glatt if you see Phill tell him I need some red mushrooms

And with that you floated off on your mission to find some red mushrooms. Glatt stood there face slashed red. He felt embarrassed? Sick to his stomach? He wasn't quite sure what he felt, quackity had told him of your ghost life when he was pestering quackity this one time however he was scared. He was once a ruthless tryrant president drinking all day and all night because he couldn't handle the power and disappointment of his peers knowing he was struggling being president so he turned to alcohol. He was so plastered when he stabbed you he didn't even know what he did until quackity and Niki Walked out on him with some fruitful words.

Schlatt thought back to when quackity had confronted him, carrying your enchanted diamond boots Phil brought on your wedding day and never took them off since. Quackity looked so hopeless his eyes filled with tears, trembling hands as he screamed at schlatt so hard his vocal cords never recovered even after all this time and everything he's been through. Despite this he carried on trying to ruin quackity's life. Even after death the fucker never lost his need for power and bullying quackity is all he knew how. The issue was he could not find the small mexican, he floated all through what manburg was, he floated past the church, the target, the community house but no sign of quackity. He was searching through the community house for anything he could steal just because 'he was glatt he could do what he wants'; as a ghost he really didn't change. A fit of giggles rung through his ears, he hadn't heard that noise in years. Glatt knew that it was you of course you were married for several years before the incident. He caught himself smiling as he once did to see your face (which could easily fit between his larger hands.) He floated across towards where the noise would come from. To see you, a blue sheep with a wonkey eye and Wilbur? He felt anxious, his ghost heart started beating faster, if he wasn't dead he would be having another heart attack right now that would actually kill him. He wasn't sure of it was because you look so happy contracting the last time him saw your glum face as the XP dropped or knowing Wilbur might still be bitter about the election or what happened as a result of it.

You toyed with the blue sheep known as friend. Friend was the first thing ghostbur saw when he woke up as a ghost so there was a major bond between the two,.you would argue it was a closer bond than what tied you with Wilbur but nothing could compare to that. You both had years and years of history some even before Tommy was born but you both just didn't know that. (maybe pt3 y/n becomes human??) Friend was very entertaining for a blue sheep fried could make you and ghostbur cry with laughter but just standing there. ( Ok this is my HC so it's not cannon but I think it should be) The blue sheep had a lazy eye, so for long enough if the sheep did nothing the eyes would travel opposite directions as per usual you and ghostbur were dying over this. You bent down to pick at a blade if grass to feed to friend when a glum feeling came over you. Were you being watched? You wanted to cry, so you turned your head to Look at the assailant to see glatt standing there just looking at you or through you it was unclear.

You-oh hey uhhh glatt? Ah yes I'm right would you like to come hang out with friend, ghostbur and I would love it if you joined us and I'm sure friend doesn't mind you do you? No you don't because you are a cute sheep boopboop

Glatt- I'm not so sure

You- oh come on don't be such a killer it would be fun friend is very well friendly haha come on.

You grasped his cold wrist with your much warmer hands. The size difference between the two contrasted immensely. You blushed, a warm feeling coming over you almost as if you had known him for years. Which y/n did but you didn't know that.  Schlatt frowned at you calling him a killer, did you know? Did Wilbur tell you? A lot happened to manburg after you had died, stuff you missed that you could and would have stopped. You dragged schlatt closer to where friend was excited Wilbur could meet your 'new' friend glatt.

You- hahah bur meet glatt

Ghostbur- oh uh hey glatt nice to meet you, your a friend of n/n's huh?

Glatt- uhh yea something like that

Ghostbur- oh crap! I have to meet with Callahan (he's my fave member) I'm helping him build a forest, well you guys have fun with friend. And glatt? Its nice to see you again.

And with that he floated away from the pair riend looked at schlatt than back at you, than back at schlatt. Its pink tounge slipping out of its mouth. Glatt looked down at you sitting cross legged on the grass petting friend. He thought you looked beautiful with the sun on your ghostlike form, he felt shame wash over him he really ruined you.

You- sit next to me glatt, the sun isn't that bright down here

Glatt- no I don't want to get my suit dirty!

You sighed, why was he so cold? Was it that he didn't like you, was it the fact that he didn't like friend no that's not true everyone loves friend. You frowned over thinking lots of things glatt noticed your frown after he yelled at you; he felt worse that he yelled. Many nights after your death did he think about you and his actions. He numbed the feeling penultimately resulting in further alcoholism and finally his death. He kept your diamond boots in his desk draw so they could be next to him at all times he even picked up some of your XP but that stuff didn't matter to him. Nothing mattered to him. Expect you. He never was good at expressing his feelings to you, and you never pushed him to do that.

Glatt- do you seriously not remember your past life?

You- hmmmm not much

Glatt- what do you know tell me?

You- well, I don't really remember memories it's more feelings and smells towards something? Like Niki I feel very calm and peaceful around her she smells like bread, Wilbur it's like he feels like a brother to me and he smells like gunpowder almost, ummmm who else? Oh Tecno smells like potatoes I'll tell you about that some other time

Glatt- what about me? What do I smell like ( Father Fragrance??)

You- ummmmm it's a weird metallic smell? At first I was like iron smell but I'm not so sure. I was super anxious when I first saw you almost hmmm anger? Fear? But I also wanted to give you a hug it's weird what about me... Your a ghost I'm sure it's the same for you it is for wilbur... What do I smell like glatt?

Glatt- uhh well, it's metallic aswell

You-oh heyy look it's ranboo, Ran heyy look down here? Ranboo? Oh no he's enderwalking again ok well this conversation isn't over glatt

You followed the half enderman who appears to be on his enderwalking state. You don't say much to him as you know he won't hear or respond to you. You follow him past twitch prime, past the portal near to the prison? Confused you stood behind him a little, why was he going to the prison? To see Sam you hope...

But no. He didn't.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Just Swimmingly ch.8 (BAON)

Summary:   It’s been a long night for everyone and dawn might be on the way, but it isn't over yet.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

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If Jeff had had his way, they would have been out the door and on the way home before the second round of backup showed up, possibly with a pause for a drive thru run at taco bell for some ill-advised early morning burritos. Security would wave them out without so much as asking for a quick rundown of the evening. There would be no paperwork to fill out, no affidavits to sign, and after a lovely, long night of sleep as the little spoon in Antwan’s arms, they’d be treated to a gourmet breakfast in bed prepared by Gordon Ramsey himself.

Heck if he was gonna dream, might as well dream big.

As it turned out, he didn’t even get to step one. After the bad guys were in various stages of detained, Stretch wanted to sit down for a few minutes before heading downstairs and Jeff didn’t even consider throwing out a protest. He sat down next to his best friend who’d probably just saved his damned life again and waited, torn between trying not to think about everything that had happened or letting it loop around in his mind, so it’d be fresh when they gave their inevitable statements.

In the end, he went with a third, unexpected option: worrying about Stretch.

A minute of sitting here in this horrible building that was probably going to get a starring role in Jeff’s future nightmares, ‘to catch his breath’, he’d said, and yeah, that made some sense. After getting drugged, kidnapped, tied up, and then MacGyvering both an escape and a capture, anyone would need a breather.

Only, he and Stretch had been friends for a little while now and there was something…off. He couldn’t quite explain it. His tired smiles didn’t reach his eye lights, it didn’t make his eye sockets squinch in a skeleton Monster approximation of laugh lines. Maybe that could’ve been excused by him simply being exhausted and stressed; wasn’t like Jeff was his normal cheerful self either, plus Stretch used up a lot of magic teleporting them around, popping in and out to drop off traps while keeping a few steps ahead of the bad guys. Could’ve been, but he’d seen Stretch tired and besides, it was his understanding that if Stretch’s magic got low enough, he’d simply drop. That’s what happened way back when he’d saved all the kids when those Humans broke into New New Home. So why was it different now?

That wrong-smile was stiffly brittle, like it’d been borrowed from someone else and pasted onto Stretch’s face and Jeff didn’t like it, not one bit.

But now wasn’t exactly time for an interrogation, at least not from him. He was pretty damn sure they’d get one of those as a free bonus the minute they walked downstairs, whether they wanted it or not. So he kept quiet and sat with his friend in one of the rooms where the booby trap didn’t get set off. The tile floor was dirty but there was nothing inside but dust and some broken furniture, so they sat on the tiles anyway, leaning against the far wall where they had a good view of the door.

Honestly, as strange as it was that Stretch wanted to linger in this shithole, more surprising to him was that security was letting them instead of hustling them out the door as fast as they could.

That had been quite a moment. They’d still been in the hallway with one guy gagging and the other pinned to the floor in a cage of glowing blue bones that Stretch summoned up from nowhere when Red showed up, not shortcutting in, but hauling ass from the stairwell and that’d been a sight in and of itself. As far as he knew, Red never went above a pace of a casual mosey but there was no drag in his feet this time as he tore his way around the landing. He walked towards them like he’d been taking lessons from Arnold Schwarzenegger, boots heels clacking loudly on the tile floor.

“let go, honey bun, i got ‘im,” Red said. Stretch didn’t look at him, those bones not so much as wavering and he spoke again, a little louder, sharp and short, “brother, let him go. let me take him out.”

Stretch jerked as if he’d been pinched. He looked at Red, orange-tinted eyelights swinging towards him, but almost immediately he flinched, turning away. As the cage of bones faded, a crowd of guys in Embassy Security uniforms swarmed up the stairs behind them, all moving as Red barked out orders. The bad guys were gone in a flash, hauled out in cringing silence, and only when they were mostly alone did Red speak again.

“you two okay?” Red asked them bluntly. “do we need to get the medics up here? talk to me, no bullshit right now, i ain’t in no mood to interpret.”

“we’re not hurt,” Stretch said. He’d wrapped his arms around himself, gripping his elbows, and his gaze was on the floor. Jeff nodded in agreement, only to blink as Stretch added, tightly, “i need a few minutes before i can go downstairs, red.”

Red’s sockets narrowed and he nodded slowly. “take all the time you need, honey bun.” His gaze shifted to Jeff and he nearly flinched himself from that piercing stare. It felt as if Red were looking through him, staring right into his little green soul. “what about you, handy andy? stayin’ or goin’? i figure your honey should be here in about fifteen, but you can wait in one of the cars downstairs if you wanna.”

Jeff never hesitated, “I’ll wait here.”

One corner of Red’s mouth rose in a brief smirk. “figured. okay, come on, in here.” He ducked into an empty room, sidestepping the little pile of trash that concealed what Stretch had called a ‘ketchup and mustard gas trap’ in honor of his twin bros from another ‘verse. All Jeff knew was he’d been ordered not to breathe while Stretch mixed some red powder and a yellow liquid together into an old soda can as a special surprise for the asshole du jour of the evening.

“stay here,” Red ordered. “i’ll tell the rabble to keep out.” He hesitated, his tongue flicking over his teeth and if it were anyone else, Jeff would say he was almost nervous. “my bro is on his way. telling ya right now, i ain’t gonna be able to keep him downstairs without collateral damage.”

“no, don’t stop him.” Stretch sank down to the floor in a noodly way that was impressive for a guy made entirely of bones, leaning against the wall. “it won’t hurt. send him up, i’ve already seen it all, a long time ago.”

Red’s expression twisted in a complex grimace. “sorry to hear that.”

Stretch made a sound that was almost amused. “don’t be. i still fell in love with him, didn’t i.” He let his skull fall back against the wall with a light thunk, closing his sockets. Red paused at the trap, dismantling it with expertise that shouldn’t have been a surprise. He paused, the rigged soda can in hand, when Stretch said, softly, “red? thanks.”

“not a problem, honey bun.” There was a certain unexpected gentleness in those words. “take a breather, yeah?”

Stretch nodded tiredly and that was it. Red left and they’d been sitting for close to fifteen minutes now without speaking. Take a breather, right, and Jeff didn’t pretend to be some kind of espionage genius, but he knew doublespeak when he heard it. There was some kind of understanding between Red and Stretch that they didn’t want to say aloud.

And honestly? Jeff didn’t care. Let them keep their secrets, he had an inkling of what his friends had been through in the past, his morbid curiosity wasn’t worth making them relive it. All he wanted was to make sure Stretch was okay now. He shifted a little closer and Stretch didn’t move, didn’t even seem like he’d noticed.

“Stretch,” he asked cautiously, hesitating. Stretch could be awfully prickly when it came to his health and surely Red wouldn’t have left if he’d thought Stretch was in any danger, but still. He had to ask. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“yep,” Stretch said immediately. “just need to catch my breath.” It should have been true, it probably was, but still. Something rang a little false there and Jeff wasn’t sure what.

He didn’t have time to think about it for much longer. This whole building echoed like an empty airplane hanger and he could hear someone coming up the stairs very fast. It was only seconds later that Blue came flying in through the door. As far as Jeff knew, he couldn’t teleport, but he sure didn’t seem like his feet ever touched the ground as he sailed over right into Stretch’s lap. Buried his rounded face into the thin t-shirt they’d been forced to wear, and his shoulders were shaking before Stretch could even get an arm around him.

“hey, shh, it’s okay.” A brother in the lap was finally enough to get Stretch moving. He pulled his brother in close, resting his cheekbone on top of his skull as he murmured a soft litany of comforting words. Whatever Blue was saying was muffled into Stretch’s ribcage. Not that it mattered, his brother seemed to understand, sibling-speak a power all its own, and held him tighter, still whispering that it was all right, he was fine, he really was.

Jeff was so focused on that first happy reunion that he didn’t notice someone new in the doorway. Until he glanced up and his eyes snagged on a face he’d wanted to see for hours and feared he never would again. Antwan stood there, more rumpled and haggard than Jeff had ever seen him, and he was the most wonderful thing Jeff had ever seen.

He didn’t say anything, didn’t move, he only stood there staring with dark, unreadable eyes.

“Hi, honey, I’m home,” Jeff said. His first impulse of delight wavered, and he laughed nervously, wetting his lips, “Okay, not exactly home, but it’s still pretty damn good to see you.”

Antwan still didn’t say anything. He only stood there, staring, and Jeff’s grin was starting to falter when he abruptly walked into the room. Not so much as glancing around, his eyes entirely for Jeff as he all but fell to his knees and pulled Jeff into a tight hug. Blunt fingertips dug into Jeff’s back as if sink directly into him. His shoulders were shaking, his breath hitching, and he made a faint, shuddery sound, almost a broken sob.

“Oh, don’t,” Jeff said softly, close to tears of his own. He settled a hand on Antwan’s head, petting his short hair and painful as this was, he couldn’t remember any time he’d ever felt as loved as he did right now. Not his own family, not any lover he’d had before. There was only Antwan holding him so tightly his ribs ached, warm dampness starting to flow where his face was buried against Jeff’s neck.

More than any comfort for himself, he wanted to hold Antwan close and offer what he could to him. Under his tentative hands, Antwan felt chilly even though it wasn’t a cold night and Jeff spread his fingers wide as if he could warm him that way. Maybe he did, Antwan slowly stopped shivering as he petted and soothed. He leaned heavily against Jeff and they would have sprawled on the floor if the wall weren’t propping them up.

Jeff absently noticed Edge coming in, couldn’t spare a hand to wave at him, but he figured it didn’t matter. Edge only had eye lights for Stretch and that was just fine.

Long moments passed before Antwan finally lifted his head. His eyes were reddened, his lashes matted and damp. “You’re all right?” Antwan asked hoarsely. “They didn’t hurt you?”

All right was a little subjective right now, so Jeff went with as much truth as he could. “I’m not hurt, they barely pushed us around. Not a scratch or a bruise on me.”

That answer didn’t seem to satisfy. Antwan scowled and plucked at the crappy shirt Jeff was wearing, the one those assholes forced him to put on. He started to speak, broke off, ducked his head and tried again, but whatever words he was trying for didn’t seem to be coming.

It was so bizarre to see him this way. Antwan, who was never hesitant. He was always decisive, whether it was in a courtroom or what restaurant they were going to that night. It was one of the things Jeff loved most about Antwan; left to his own devices, he’d end up spending an hour trying to choose between Italian and Chinese takeout and still end flipping a coin.

Not Antwan. He came in and took control, knew what he wanted and how to make it happen, and he damn well did it. He was a little like Edge in that, the two of them were pretty damn formidable when they did couple’s nights.

Today his tight control seemed to have abandoned him. He’d given up on speaking and now his lips were pressed tightly together, his whole face scrunching up as if trying to keep something from exploding out.

That was worrisome and not only because he was afraid Antwan might be a little nauseous, who knew what shortcuts he’d been dragged on tonight. As much as he loved him, having his boyfriend puke in his lap would be the worst way to end this night and, cautiously, Jeff asked. “Are you okay?”

What finally burst out was about the last thing he’d ever expected, a blurt of words crammed together into not a question, but a demand. “Marry me!”

“Uh…” That wasn’t anywhere on the list of his expectations. In his arms, Antwan shifted restlessly, like he wanted to stand and pace, but didn’t want to let Jeff go.

“This was supposed to be romantic,” Antwan said and his voice sounded like every word pained him, the entire glut escaping him without so much as a breath or a pause. “I had a plan, I have a ring. I was going to take you to dinner at the most expensive place in town and propose by the fountains. We can still do that, I want to do that, but I can’t wait, I can’t.” He shifted his grip to Jeff’s shoulders, giving him a little shake like a punctuation, his face inches away. He was beautiful this close, his dark eyes all but glowing as if he’d picked up the trick from one of the local skeletons. “Edge tried to warn me, he told me time passes too fast, he told me to step up and I didn’t.”

“Yes.”

Antwan didn’t seem to hear, still talking in an endless rush, “When Red came and got me, I died inside, all I could think was that I’d waited too long and lost you because I was a coward, I was an asshole, and I need you—”

“Yes.”

He plowed on like a semi without brakes, rolling over everything in its path. “We don’t have to get married right away if you don’t want, but you should move into my place completely. No more stuff at Blue’s, we’ll get the rest of it tomorrow. No, wait, you should rest tomorrow, you’ve been through a traumatic experience, we can do it the day after. We can do it whenever I can stand to let you go, I can’t, I—"

The rest of the words were stifled under Jeff’s mouth, a firm kiss ending that outpour. His mouth froze, meeting that kiss hesitantly at first then with increasing fervency, and it was warm and wet and wonderful, perfect, so perfect, every word Jeff could manage to shake out of his mental thesaurus.

Antwan groaned into his mouth, shuddering when Jeff broke it and drew away, but he didn’t go far. He leaned back enough to look Antwan directly into those beautiful eyes as he said clearly, “Yes, I will marry you.”

“You will?” Antwan parroted dumbly, then again, louder, “You will. You will!”

He sounded, Jeff thought fondly, as if he were he were trying to convince Jeff as much as himself. Not exactly the way he’d dreamed of getting a proposal and, yeah, there was something to be said for romance, but sitting here on this dirty floor in his ugly-ass kidnapping outfit, he sure didn’t doubt Antwan’s sincerity. His chest ached with love for this wonderful, crazy man and it was only when he heard a heartfelt sigh behind him that he remembered they weren’t alone.

He turned to see the three skeletons in the room were watching with varying degrees of interest. It looked as if Edge pulled Stretch into his own lap and brought Blue along for the ride, making the skeleton stack three deep. It did not escape his notice that Edge holding onto Stretch like he was never going to let go. As fastidious as Edge could be, he only sat there on the dirty floor with him, holding Stretch like he was the most precious thing in the world which, yeah, okay, he was, to Edge.

And it sure as hell didn’t escape his notice Stretch and Blue’s eyes lights were morphed into bright little hearts, both of them watching as if their favorite daytime soap opera couple finally got together in the season finale.

Jeff only grinned, barely embarrassed. He couldn’t think of anyone else he’d rather have as an audience.

That impulse lasted about as long as it took Stretch to open his mouth. “’bout time, antwan, i was starting to think you’d never cowboy up and ask.”

“Shut up,” Antwan said automatically. Some of his normal sass must be rebooting. “I heard how you proposed, it was more like a train wreck than a question. Red bitched for a week about how much cash you lost him.”

“gonna bitch some more this time,” Stretch said, cheerily unoffended. “i got a twenty coming my way.”

“I have fifty,” Blue piped up. He clapped his hands together. “This is so wonderful! We need to have a party, we need to make plans—”

“We need to do a great deal,” Edge interrupted, not unkindly. “To begin with, let’s go home, shall we?”

Stretch must’ve finally breathed enough. He nodded and said, “yeah, let’s get the fuck out of here—whoa!"

Edge barely paused to nudge Blue to his feet before he stood, Stretch in his arms as he strode briskly to the door, “babe, no, your leg!”

His voice dwindled before Jeff could hear the rest of his protest. Blue followed them out, not without a last fond backwards glance, and left them alone.

Jeff smiled at his boyfriend, no, his fiancé and he’d never expected to be able to say that, never dared dream, and now it was his, no take backises from the universe, not this time. Politely, he asked, “you wanna get the fuck out of here?”

“Yes,” Antwan said firmly and Jeff let out a squeak of his own as he was suddenly lifted into Antwan’s arms, held close as he was carried out the door. Unlike Stretch, Jeff wasn’t about to offer a single protest. He only slipped his arms around Antwan’s neck and held on.

He’d let Antwan carry him to hell and back if needs be, but for right now, all he wanted was for his love to take him home.

tbc

[tobi-momo]

Disconnected Fate

a/n: hehe thank you for @velvxtparadise​ for requesting this im so happy you did bc it was an amazing idea (their works are also so amazing you should check ‘em out) but ya THANK YOU ily!!

Disconnected Fate: Soulmate AU/Quirkless AU - Sero x Reader

Synopsis: Soulmates were something to be treasured. The second half of your soul, finally connecting, becoming one. But, you couldn’t really rely on that if your string is cut. But will meeting someone with your same fate change that?

Word Count: 3110

Warnings: Cursing, clubbing, drinking, mentions of vomiting, kissing, old ass pervs, groping (if there are more pls let me know!!) {does include some todomomo and kamijirou}

“Mina, I don’t think this fits very well,” you laugh at your figure in the mirror, turning your body and running your hands down the fabric to slim it down. Mina opens to you, practically jumping at you before placing her hands at your shoulder to rotate your body; jaw dropping at the sight.

“Y/n, shut the hell up. You look so fucking sexy it’s not even funny,” she chuckles, giving your ass a playful smack before tugging at the thin strap that held your dress up. The strings connected to a loose bateau neckline, showing a little cleavage, and looking down, you see the way your snug dress brings out your curves and hips. Wow- you really did look amazing, didn’t you? “Okay, that should do it. Are we ready? The guys are probably waiting for us.”

Your head whips to your friend, who definitely did not tell you about boys being with you. “What? Boys- boys? Mina.”

She looks back at you with a shocked look, making it seem like you knew, and gave a blank, “what?”

“Why didn’t you tell me there would be boys? I only know like, three other people from your friend group, and I’m not even sure they like me.” You complain, leaving the closet for the bathroom to touch up on your makeup before hearing your other bestie chime in.

“Don’t worry, y/n! I like having you around very much, and I’m sure the others will, too!” Momo says, finishing her mascara. 

“Yeah, and you’re fun to duet and play with,” Kyouka acknowledges while painting her nails.

“See?” Mina remarks. “They love you. Eiji has already told the others, and none of them have anything bad to say!”

“Yet.”

“Kyo!” 

“Kidding~” she corrects.

“Y/n, you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it, they’ll love you. Just...I don’t know, be yourself!”

“Thanks, Mina, that actually helps a lot,” you smile sarcastically before turning your smile flat. “I’ll be sure to do that once I get over the fact that I’ve never hung out with your friends before.” 

“Oh my God, y/n. Stop stressing. You’ll be fine.” Mina assures. “And maybe you’ll find a little special someone~” she vocalizes and points to the ring finger of your right hand. 

Oh. Right. You thought, looking down at your hand. The red string tied to your finger that connected you to the person the universe wants you to spend the rest of your life with. The string that leads you to the person you’ve always wanted, needed. Your soulmate. You had always wanted that person to come in your life, to sweep you off your feet and be with you for the rest of your days, but it was hard to believe in all that when your string was cut. Your string connected you to your soulmate, so why was yours cut? Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be for you.

“Y/n? Y/n.” You blink up to Mina’s fingers snapping at you.

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” you smile, “I just spaced out.”

“Classic y/n.”

“Kyo.” Mina glares at Kyouka.

“What? I’m just sayin’.”

“Okay, are we all done here?” You ask while looking around at Momo, Kyouka and Mina; checking the belongings around them and seeing their small handbags.

“Yup!” 

“Mhm.”

“Finally! Okay, let’s go bitches.” Mina exclaims as Kyouka shakes her head then drags herself up, leaning her head back, an annoyed expression painted on her face. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Bro, come on! Just have one- ONE- drink. Please?” Kaminari pouts, handing Sero a small glass of whiskey, the ice clinking within the glass.

“I don’t know man. You guys are probably gonna get hammered tonight, and Katsuki refuses to be the DD again,” Sero shrugs back, leaning on the counter of the bar.

“You’re damn right I ain’t the DD tonight. I haven’t had a good drink in a minute, and you guys are annoying as it is, so maybe a couple might make it easier to put up with you.” Bakugou groans, downing his drink, walking up to the bartender to order another one.

“Hey, where are the girls? Are they still coming?” Kirishima asks curiously.

“Uh,” Kaminari pulls his phone out, checking his messages, “they are on their way.”

“Why do they take so goddamn long? It’s annoying.” Bakugou calls out, waiting for his drink impatiently.

“Because they are ladies, Katsuki. They need time to get ready and stuff. You know this,” Kirishima whines, as if he had told him this multiple times.

“I know it’s stupid,” he emphasizes. He gets his drink and continues to sit at the bar, irritated.

Kirishima makes his way over to Sero, who sips his water through the black straw poking out of the glass. He looks bored, but not as if he didn’t want to be there. He always liked hanging out with his friends; the more the merrier. So taking this invitation to hang out with his guy and girl friends was a must. He needed a break from all of the stress school put on him. College was a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. This was a perfect way to distract himself even for a little while and drinking water. His friends would be entertaining enough anyways. 

“Hey, Hanta, you excited for the girls to get here?” Sero’s head whips up, breaking his thoughts. Sitting up straight, he leans back with an elbow on the back of the couch. Kirishima smiles giggly, taking a seat next to him.

“Oh, ya,” he says, as if it was obvious, “excited to see how they act when they black out,” he jokes. The girls were always a handful when drunk, thankfully some had their boyfriends to take care of them, but the boyfriends were always a little drunk, too.

“Ha ha, yeah, always super fun,” Kirishima replies sarcastically, knowing exactly what Sero is thinking. “What about you, Shoubro?”

Todoroki was sitting at the end of the table awkwardly, waiting for more company. He looked lonely, but patient. He looked up at his nickname Kirishima gave him tiredly. “Hmm?”

“Excited for the girls to get here?” 

“I guess. They will make the night more entertaining.” See, he knows, too. The girls were known for making the night more interesting. Whether it was karaoke, body shots, dancing, or even fighting with douchebags that tried to dance with them. The night always ended on a good note either way, so whoever was staying sober sure had a sight to see.

“Oh, here come the girls,” Kaminari chimes in, putting his phone in his back pocket before turning around for the door. Three girls walk in: Mina, Kyouka, and Momo. Wait- where were you? Didn’t Mina say something about bringing a friend?

“Hey, boys,” Mina greets, “how are we this fine evening?” She says smoothly, strutting her way to the bar. “Four vodkas, please.”

“You havin’ all of those? Momo and Kyo don’t usually have vodka.” Kaminari laughs, a jokingly confused question.

“Oh, y/n is gonna be here in a sec, and she likes vodka. A lot. So half of these are for her.” Mina smiles as she carefully grabs the shots and cautiously carries them to the table where Momo, Todoroki, Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Kyouka reside. She sets them down, keeping a close eye not to spill, and starts walking over to your figure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You head into the club, surprised the music isn’t louder, while avoiding the other people around the area. You knew at places like this it got a little crowded and hectic, so you just wanted to find Mina before anything else. With your hands behind your back holding your tiny purse, you look around and see Mina walking over to you, a bright smile plastered on her face as giggles and grabs your hand, dragging you to the table where everyone (besides irritated Bakugou) resides. 

“Katsuki get your ass over here right now!” Mina shouts from across the club, catching Bakugou’s attention. She gives him a stern look, then smiles softly when he grumbles and pushes himself off his chair, slowly walking over there, drink in hand. He plops down next to Kirishima lazily before staring at the ground. “Good. Anyway,” she inhales, clearly excited. You stand there awkwardly, wondering why it has suddenly got so hot. Something in the air was different. You didn’t know what it was, but it was making you nervous. “Y/n, the boys,” she points at each boy, introducing them, “Todoroki, Sero, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Bakugou.” You nod in acknowledgement, getting to know their faces to hopefully not forget later. One face caught your breath, though. Literally. Your breath hitched as you looked at him. Sero, you were pretty sure his name was. He was- beautiful. His raven black hair, his smile, his eyes, his everything- was gorgeous. 

What the hell was this?

You stand there, frozen, staring at his handsome face and body, practically drooling. You were interrupted by Mina yapping at them to shake your hand. Each one of them sat up straight and nodded to you, said how nice it was to meet you. Then you shook hands with Sero.

No. No way.

Right as you switch your hands for him, raising your left hand, he raises his. The red on his finger caught your eye, making you stop in your tracks. Again. He also comes to a halt, both your eyes wide in shock and surprise as you gaze at each other’s string.

This wasn’t real. You were the only one you knew in your entire life who had this. You had looked it up several times for a sliver of hope, but nothing showed. In fact, everything you had searched for came up the opposite. Because of the stories and the legends and the research, you were convinced it wasn’t true. You were convinced that it wasn’t going to happen to you. Convinced that you were going to live your life alone. Was this man really the one for you? Was this man really the one to share your soul with? You couldn't believe it. You just couldn’t.

“Ahem,” Mina purposely coughs, trying to dissipate the awkwardness everyone else has to endure as you and Sero share the weirdest and yet most thrilling moment you’ve had in your life. Your heart was beating so fast, you were nervous, but excited. You were surprised, but happy and sad, a little disappointed and mad, though you felt awakened at these new feelings. They felt stronger than anything you’ve ever felt before, and you could tell he could feel them, too. Mina coughs again, snatching your attention. She smiles and widens her eyes while pointing her head at the other men, who are tiredly awaiting your hand. Once you suddenly realize you’ve been focusing on Sero for the past 45 seconds, you breathe out an ‘oh’ and move on to Kirishima. 

You never stopped thinking about him, though. Throughout the entire night, after every shot you took, every song on the dance floor, Sero was still in your mind. And because of this, you took more shots. And you danced some more. You were taking a body shot off of Mina’s stomach when you notice eyes boring into yours. Swallowing the stinging alcohol you turn over to him, not finishing with the lime, almost stumbling. You want to tell him to stop looking at you, to mind his own business, but you can’t separate your words, slurring an incoherent sentence. 

“Oh? Baby girl needs some help? I can help you,” the strange man, teases, laughing as he grabs your waist, grazing the side of your torso up and down, trying to drag you to the back of the club. “Let me help you, honey.” He starts guiding you to the back, using his fingers to touch the soft skin on your shoulders, your forearms, making their way down to your hips, and finally up to-

“Hey, y/n, you okay?” The man gets interrupted by your hero, his voice giving you butterflies. “Sorry, man. She’s drunk. You really shouldn’t be messin’ with girls like this,” he shrugs before grabbing you by your waist and putting your arm around his shoulder, “or any girls, for that matter.” You lean on his shoulder, barely keeping up with the situation. You feel so light on your feet, but so heavy at the same time. He helps you to the tables you originally sat at before going a little more overboard than you would’ve liked. You moan, a little overwhelmed by the noise, but once he sets you in a comfortable spot on the bench, you lean your head back, satisfied with the cold air on your face. He quickly hands you his glass of water, placing the straw in your mouth and nodding his head, whispering to take a drink. You comply, sipping his water before he takes it out and puts the cup on the tabletop for a brief moment.

Dazed, you look around the room. Your vision is blurry, but you can clearly see Momo and Todoroki making out on the other side of the booth. At least she’s having fun. Meanwhile you get groped by an old man in a corner and probably won’t remember it the next day. Sero’s gone, you think. He was, but only a couple feet away from you. You turn your head from Momo on top of Todoroki’s lap, to Jirou leading Kaminari out of the building, then to Mina taking more shots with Kirishima, and Bakugou acting annoyed but is actually having fun. They all looked like they were having a great time. You look to your left once more and smile to yourself once you see him walking back over. He sits next to you and grabs the cup again, pushing it towards you to take a sip. And you do. 

The next half hour was you and him in the bathroom while you throw your guts up, the nasty alcohol leaving your stomach while he holds your hair up and rubs your back. You cough everything back up, regretting taking a single drink in the first place. You feel his hands smooth over your upper back, and his grip on your hair, tightening in a circle at the back of your head. You lift your head up, turning away in embarrassment.

He smiles in return, taking his hand off your back to grab something to wipe your mouth with. “Don’t worry, it’s not the first time I’ve done this. Come here,” he says softly, almost like a whisper. You turn your head towards him, still not looking at his face, but at his arm. His very attractive arms. He raises his left hand to wipe a cloth at your mouth, you catching the bright red string in sight. He notices this, and slows his motions. “You see it, right? My string.”

You only nod in response, looking away with a blush.

“I can see it, too. Yours, I mean.” You weren’t that surprised, considering what happened earlier that night when you first met him. The feeling was the same as it was before, but more intense. It was like sparks every time he touched you, like fireworks, like electricity. You could tell he felt it as well when he pulled back a little, hesitant to touch you. You knew he felt it when he pulled you away from that strange guy. Guess you were too drunk to notice.

Once he finishes up, he tells you he’s done then helps you up to get ready to leave. You were both tired of this place. Walking back out to the main room, the only people to be seen from Mina’s friend group was herself, Bakugou, and Kirishima. You could only guess where everyone else went. You two continue making your way down, asking if everyone else will be alright, or if they needed a ride. Mina responded that they’ll take a cab home, and that they’ll be okay. Thankfully Bakugou looked sober enough to understand what was going on.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Whatever. Fuckin’ leave already.”

Sero returns with a smile, silently thanking him as he leads you to the exit. The cool air felt wonderful against your face, the breeze making you feel a lot better. You groan as your head starts to pound. Sero leads you to his car, opening the door for you and helping you in, shutting the door. 

“Hey, what’s your address?”

You look up tiredly, ready to fall asleep right then and there. “Oh, uh, building 474 on 32nd.”

He only hums in response, checking his mirrors and backing out, heading for your apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, uh, thank you, Sero. I really appreciate it. I know this is not how you wanted to spend your night, even if you were sober.” You apologize, genuinely disappointed in yourself for letting yourself drink that hard.

“Don’t worry about it. It was fun watching you guys for most of the night, though,” he laughs.

“Oh I bet. Me and Mina got a little crazy.”

“A little?”

“Shush, I know,” you chuckle, trying not to embarrass yourself further. “Um, do you want my number? Or something? It’s just, your Mina’s friend,” We both have red cut strings, “and I want to make up for being such a slob at the party,” I want to figure out why I can see your string. He gladly agrees, putting his number in your phone. “Also,” you interrupt his movements, causing him to look up, “I remember that weird guy from earlier, where did he go? I didn’t see him for the rest of the night.”

He smiles cunningly, a smile that cocks the sides of your mouth up subconsciously. “He was getting on my nerves, so I kicked him out of the club.”

You tilt your head in confusion. “How?”

“I have my ways,” he says slyly, implying exactly what you’re thinking. You smile in understanding, thanking him for the help. 

You unlock your door and wave goodbye to him, sad that he had to leave, but grateful that he didn’t have to put up with you anymore. You lift your left hand in curiosity. Looking at it, you can see every thread on the piece of yarn. Every knot. Although you couldn’t take it off, it looked as if you could. It was weird, knowing the fact that everyone else’s string connected them to their soulmates, while your short piece of combined thread just drooped towards the ground. You never expected to find another person like you. Another person with a lost fate. Huh.

Part 2?? Let me know!!

[megalony]

Heartbeat- Part 2

This is the second part in my Ben Hardy series involving a Gwilym love triangle, I hope you will all like it, thank you for the lovely feedback on the first part.

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Summary: Ben and (Y/n) haven’t been together long when they find out their pregnant. But (Y/n) fears she’ll lose the baby after suffering miscarriages before with her ex, Gwilym who is making things complicated.

Enjoy.

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"Where are we going?" Ben cast his eyes down to the left so he could see (Y/n) as she walked beside him but the only look he received was a roll of her eyes.

His words were partially muffled considering he had a half-finished cigarette pressed between his lips in the right hand corner. It was a wonder to (Y/n) that it didn't fall from his lips and spill ash onto his clothing but it dawned on her that he must have had a lot of practise considering how much he smoked and how long he had the habit.

She watched him for a few moments, concentrating on the way that he didn't even remove the cigarette from his lips, he simply pressed it tighter between his lips and blew out the smoke from the other side of his mouth. (Y/n) knew if Ben had been wearing lipstick it would be smudged all over the end of the bud and have none left on his naturally red lips. His eyes were only just visible behind the very tinted sunglasses sat snugly on the bridge of his nose but she could see he wasn't bothered or phased by her focusing on his bad habit.

"You, are going for a walk." (Y/n) finally responded after tearing her eyes away from Ben's lips when he removed the smoke from his mouth and clasped it between his index and middle finger instead. It took a lot of will power for (Y/n) to keep looking up at him instead of allowing her eyes to wander down to his hand and see the way he held both the dog lead and the smoke so easily, showing he had done this before.

"Alright, where are you going then?" His brows rose and his head shook slightly from side to side as he rephrased his question to suit her liking.

"To drop a present off with Audrey, then I'll catch up with you."

Her eyes couldn't help but study Ben as his chin tipped up in understanding before he bent his neck and shoulders forward until he could place the cigarette back between his lips to take a drag before leaning back up to his full height.

"And that's Gwil's mum, right?" Yet again, the words passed through his lips along with the cigarette that flicked ash onto the pavement with how it tilted up and down as he spoke with ease yet caution for the habit he was holding.

"Yeah."

It had been Ben's idea to head out for a walk since it was a nice day and on his days off he normally went for long walks with Frankie. (Y/n) decided to tag along but she had to take a detour so she could drop the present off on time rather than bring it round late which she couldn't abide by. Presents, especially birthday presents, should be given to the person either days beforehand or on the day in question, a late present was not an option in (Y/n)'s mind.

"So, you're still on good terms with her?" Ben's left hand tightened around (Y/n)'s to fight off the chill in the air that was slowly turning his hand to ice, whereas his other hand was fine from Frankie constantly pulling on the leash to try and go quicker.

(Y/n) leaned her head against Ben's arm as they continued to slowly walk down the pavement, getting closer and closer to their destination. She didn't have the nerve or the will to go and see Gwilym again and give him the present to give to his mother and (Y/n) knew it would be more personal if she turned up and gave the present to Audrey herself. It would be nice to see her too since it had been a good few months since (Y/n) had seen or talked to her.

"I'm on better terms with her than Gwil. I've known her for a few years now and she's always been kind to me, it feels wrong not to at least give her a card on her birthday."

There was a faraway tone to (Y/n)'s voice like she was slipping into a daydream but she managed to hear Ben's hum of understanding before her mind really wandered away without her.

For the five years that (Y/n) had been with Gwilym, his mother had always been a friend to (Y/n). She was kind and caring and took (Y/n) in almost as her own straight away and even though things between her and Gwilym were not at a good stage right now, (Y/n) had nothing against Audrey and vice versa. Even though she was no longer with Gwilym, it felt wrong to even think about cutting all ties with his family, in the least with his mother because they had gotten along so well and she had been there for (Y/n) through some tough times.

"It's this one up here... I'll catch you up in about five or ten minutes." (Y/n) came to a stop just before Audrey's house and turned to face Ben, rolling her eyes when he dropped the stub of a cigarette to the floor and crushed it beneath the heel of his shoe.

"You don't want me to hang around at the corner?" There was a small smile on Ben's lips because he already knew the answer but he thought he'd ask anyway.

"No, how am I going to look if I turn up to give her a present with my boyfriend hanging at the end of the street waiting for me? It's not polite, Ben." (Y/n) leaned her head to the side as she bit down on her lip, hoping he knew she wasn't ashamed or trying to be rude. But (Y/n) knew it wouldn't be nice to turn up and have Audrey spot Ben looking over at them waiting for her. It would be insensitive, like driving here with him waiting in the car for her.

"Neither is lying to her if she asks you to come in, but I get it... what if Gwil's there?" Ben's eyes darted to look over at the house like he was expecting Gwilym or someone else to be staring out of the window wondering who was stood chattering on the pavement outside the house.

"It's not like I'm staying." She shrugged her shoulders but Ben could already see the nerves rattling through her eyes and her body.

"You'll have to talk to him eventually, you'll need to tell him about the baby-"

"No." (Y/n) tightened her hand around Ben's until she was surely cutting off his circulation. Her chest already started to tighten like there was rope tied around her chest just at the thought of the baby. Any time Ben tried to bring up the subject (Y/n) shut down on the inside and out until he dropped the subject completely. Part of him understood but the other part was beginning to worry. "Not until we're passed the marker."

When (Y/n)'s breathing started to become rapid and shallow, Ben nodded and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her into his chest. He had a feeling that any talk or discussion about the baby would have to wait until the twelve week scan and he knew (Y/n) wasn't going to tell a soul until they were past fourteen weeks or even later. He could understand that because she wanted to make sure and be safe but it was still making him nervous to see how panicked (Y/n) got at the mere thought of the baby.

It was already getting to Ben because even though they were in the very early stages, he was desperate to tell his mum. He told her everything, she was one of the closest people to him and this was something he was yearning to talk to her about but he couldn't until (Y/n) was calm and okay with it.

"Go on, I'll see you in a bit." There was a soft tone to his voice and a certain look in his eyes that sent shivers running up and down (Y/n)'s spine before his lips were on her own and she could taste the smoke and nicotine lingering on his lips.

(Y/n) missed his touch as soon as his hand slipped from her own and returned to his pocket where he retrieved a fresh cigarette and his signature electric blue lighter. She took a few steps into the small front garden before she turned to watch Ben sliding the leash onto his wrist so he could cover the end of the smoke to light it properly. A wave of smoke like a flurry of powder parted from his lips before the lighter disappeared back into his pocket and his head dipped down, encouraging her to head up to the front door.

When she had walked up the few steps and was finally stood in front of the fire engine red wooden door, (Y/n) held her breath to try and calm herself down when she pressed the doorbell. She held the string handles of the flowery bag in both hands, tightening her grip until the string was cutting into her palms.

It felt strange, almost like an intrusion to turn up unannounced like this when she wasn't technically part of the family anymore. She guessed she'd never really been part of the family, she and Gwilym had only been engaged, they were never married which (Y/n) saw as a saving grace now, considering how their relationship had turned out. But she wasn't intending on staying, she didn't even want to step inside the house, she was only here to deliver a present and wish Audrey a happy birthday.

The moment the front door opened, the small, nervous smile that had previously been on (Y/n)'s expression slipped away immediately when her eyes set on Gwilym.

Shock was clear on his face, he didn't think (Y/n) would either remember his mother's birthday or that she wouldn't bother to get a present or come and visit her. His mouth opened but for a few horrid moments, he couldn't find anything to say.

"(Y/n)..." Was the only word to pass through Gwilym's lips as he stared at her in surprise, but there was something else in his eyes that (Y/n) couldn't work out.

"I- I brought a present, for your mum." (Y/n) raised the bag in her hand as if to prove that was the reason she had turned up unannounced like this.

"Come in."

It took all she had not to bite her lip and let her anxiety show, she hadn't wanted to go inside, it would be much easier if he just got his mum to come to the door and see her. But then again this was easier for Gwilym because it meant he wasn't being rude or inconsiderate towards (Y/n), he didn't want to exclude her or be hateful when it was kind of her to get his mother a present.

Nodding her head, (Y/n) stepped inside and followed Gwilym through the familiar house and into the living room that had cards held up on the mantle piece and in the bay window. There were a few balloons in the other corner of the room and an assortment of presents, half of which were still wrapped up neatly.

"(Y/n), oh dear it's so good to see you! Come, sit down."

(Y/n)'s smile turned more genuine when she looked over at Audrey who was sitting on the sofa next to the window, a bright yet bewildered smile as she clearly didn't think she would see her today.

"I'm fine, I won't stay... I just came to give you this, happy birthday." It almost felt awkward when she handed the present over to Audrey, it had never been like this before. (Y/n) always arrived with Gwilym and they came in, had a drink and sat chatting as they handed the presents to whoever it was having their birthday. (Y/n) never arrived on her own out of the blue without the intention of staying for a drink or a catch-up.

(Y/n) didn't like this feeling, she didn't like how awkward it felt and how different everything was going to be from now on. But she had made this decision, it was her choice to ruin things and make a fresh start and she couldn't take it back, nor would she ever choose to go back.

"Thank you dear, you really didn't have to... oh, it's my favourite." It wasn't much, (Y/n) knew that but she thought giving Audrey a bottle of her favourite perfume would be an adequate gift.

"Are you staying for a drink?" The smile on Gwilym's lips was almost endearing and he looked so innocent and almost young with his shoulders pulled up and his hands stuffed into his pockets from uncertainty. His expression and the way he was looking at her through his lashes almost made (Y/n) cave and say she would stay, but she couldn't. If she stayed she would be allowing everyone to think that things were almost back to normal and if Gwilym got that impression then things would take a horrid turn when reality came back to him.

"I... I can't, I'm sorry. But it would be nice to catch up soon, I hope you have a lovely day." (Y/n) could feel tears welling up in her eyes when she looked between Gwilym and Audrey who nodded with a kind expression saying that she understood.

"I'll walk you out."

(Y/n) could feel the tears building up behind her eyes when she exited the living room and headed back down the hall to reach the front door. It felt like she was moving on into a new chapter and when she left this house, she would never be able to revisit this part of her life. Change was a good and bad thing in (Y/n)'s eyes, she had been desperate to leave the relationship with Gwilym and wanted nothing more than to get together with Ben. But leaving Gwilym's family she had grown close to was hard and she didn't know if any of Ben's family were going to take to her or like her or if it would be awkward and unsettling.

"Are you okay?" Gwilym reached a cautious hand out to (Y/n)'s arm when he noticed her faraway yet rather worried expression. Not trusting her voice, (Y/n) simply nodded and managed a hum in response. "Thank you for that, you didn't have to."

"It's her birthday..." (Y/n) waved her hand as she spoke, trying to smile but it felt too hard and forced.

She didn't know if she would be doing anything like this anymore either, she was friends with Gwilym's sister but if everything with the baby worked out then (Y/n) wouldn't go through with seeing his sister on her birthday because (Y/n) would be about six or seven months pregnant by then. That would be too unsettling for them all.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what I said before, it was uncalled for. I don't want to fight with you or lose you, you mean too much to me-"

"It's okay... I don't want to fight either, and Ben's your friend I don't want to be in the way of that."

(Y/n) could already see where Gwilym was going and she didn't want him to go there at all. He meant a lot to her but her feelings for him had changed but she knew his hasn't towards her. Gwilym still held a torch for her but (Y/n) couldn't do anything about that, she couldn't lead him on but telling him it was never going to happen wouldn't really do much either, he couldn't turn off how he felt no matter how she wished he could.

But she also knew that if things with this baby worked out, Gwilym was not going to hold that torch for her any more, she doubted he would even want to talk to her anymore. He would think the worst of her, he would be rightfully angry and upset that she was having a baby with Ben when it didn't work for them. He would be angry that (Y/n) had moved on with Ben so quickly after leaving him.

(Y/n) didn't want to hurt him but she knew it was bound to happen, things were out of her control now.

"(Y/n), please... I-"

"I should go." When Gwilym's hand moved to try and hold hers, (Y/n) turned towards the door and stepped outside, quickly letting go of his hand. Ripping her hand away from his so suddenly would be rude and uncaring but holding his hand for too long would give him the wrong signals and she couldn't do that.

She wanted to be with Ben.

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Pursing his lips Ben leaned his hips back against the kitchen counter, folding his arms over his chest as his head subconsciously tilted to the side. His eyes followed her movements like looking away from her only for a second would allow her to disappear from sight.

He couldn't work out what was wrong.

There was a distant look in her eyes that was beginning to unsettle him but it wasn't just that which was concerning. It was the way (Y/n) was holding herself like she was weighted down but trying so hard not to crumble to the floor. It was the way that her movements were slower than normal implying either her reactions were slower for some reason or that she was being more careful and calculated about even just putting one foot in front of the other.

Her expression was also worrying to Ben because there was something behind her eyes, something on her mind that he couldn't see but he was desperate to find out what it was.

"Tell me what's the matter." His voice was so calming, so gentle yet with an edge of worry but he realised just how stuck in her mind (Y/n) had become when she only just registered his words.

When her head turned in his direction, (Y/n) felt a rush of adrenaline surging through her stomach and chest when it felt like Ben's eyes were looking right through her. The words were forming in her head but her lips felt like they were glued together and her eyes couldn't look into his own for more than three seconds before she looked down to the plate in her hands that she was cleaning.

She couldn't dare move her eyes to look over at him when she stood next to him to reach up for the cupboard to put the plate away.

"Baby, I know something's up, talk to me." Ben uncrossed his arms and held onto (Y/n)'s hands until she let the plate slip from her hands and into his own. But as soon as it was out of her grip, (Y/n) was holding onto the counter to steady herself like she thought she was going to topple over.

Ben really didn't want to have to prize whatever was wrong out of (Y/n) but something was up and if she didn't tell him it was only going to drag around with her and make him worry.

"I have to go to the doctors tomorrow." (Y/n) could barely hear the words herself and it surprised her that Ben didn't need her to repeat what she said. She tipped her head down so she was looking at the little dots and swirling patterns in the counter-top she was leaning against so she didn't have to see the confusion and worry in Ben's eyes.

"Why?"

Reaching his hands out, Ben held onto (Y/n)'s arms until he managed to prize her hands off the counter and turn her so she was facing him. One hand moved to rest on her hip whilst the other gently pressed under her chin to tilt her head up so she was finally looking at him. Ben knew for a fact this wasn't planned, it was out of the blue because it was at such short notice. He knew this appointment hadn't been scheduled weeks or even many days in advance.

"I'm having a scan because I'm bleeding." (Y/n)'s voice was quiet but there was something behind her voice pushing her words and stopping her from choking up or sobbing through her words. This wasn't the first time (Y/n) had had to explain this situation to someone and the more it happened, the more numb she started to feel.

"A lot?" Ben's finger subconsciously dug into her hip before quickly releasing when he realised how tightly he was holding her. He knew sometimes a little blood wasn't a worry or a problem but if the doctor had told (Y/n) to go in and she had been through this before, it didn't look very good.

"Not heavily, but it's enough." (Y/n) was desperate to hang her head or look anywhere else but Ben's anxious, pained eyes but his hand stopped her. "This time won't be any different-"

"You don't know that." They didn't know for definite that they'd lost or were going to lose the baby. Something might be wrong or nothing at all could be wrong, the baby might be lost or they might be perfectly fine and they would find out tomorrow. Ben would rather stay the tiniest bit hopeful now, just for a bit longer than destroy every hope when nothing was certain yet.

"Gwil was right, I'm not going to be a mother. This time isn't different or special just because it wasn't planned." (Y/n) couldn't help the way her words cut through the air with a vicious tone, the bitterness was swelling up inside of her until it was consuming everything.

(Y/n) had deluded herself into thinking that this was some kind of miracle or something special because this baby wasn't planned. She tried to believe that this had happened for a good reason since the baby was out of the blue but it was just like every other time she wanted to be a mother. She was lucky if she got to go to a twelve week scan and fourteen weeks was the marker she had reached once and only once but even that didn't last long.

This fantasy wasn't going to happen just because (Y/n) willed for it to since she was with a new person in a new home trying to restart her life. Some things just didn't change.

"Maybe it's not different or special this time around, but that doesn't mean it's worthless or predictable. You didn't expect to leave Gwil when you did, you didn't expect to be here with me right now and neither of us expected this baby. Forget about what Gwil said or what happened before, this time things might just surprise you."

The firm tone to Ben's voice and the way his eyes narrowed in determination stopped (Y/n) from saying anything else. Not everything in life was predictable and Ben could see (Y/n) was always going to expect something like this to happen. But not every time was going to go the same way, this time might just work out for her.

They just had to wait until tomorrow to find out.

[nekomas-koi-fish]

1/2 hi i’d love a matchup w one of the volleyboys! i’m filipino, brown eyes five seven with really curly short black hair in a kinda mullet shape. ive got thick thighs, medium waist and not busty lol. i’m really ✨insecure about my body✨i’ve got light tan skin and love to laugh and have fun. im a softie who will not hesitate to deck you. a “punch you with love” kinda gal. also super sarcastic with humor only consisting of puns.

2/2 I want a “brolationship?” where we’re best friends and i can act like a dumbass but also mix in some softness to it too. i’m esfp and really energetic around my friends but when i get home my social battery is Dead. i love to sing and i write music so i’d 100% serenade him. i get As in my classes even though i don’t know what i’m doing but outside of the classroom i am a complete dumbass. thank you in advance and i’m sorry if this is too much!

✨🤍✨✨🤍✨🤍✨🤍✨✨🤍✨

It’s perfect, I see it already :’)

My style isn’t suitable for everyone, I usually do bullet point and a short story, I hope you like it! I loved writing this lol.

It’s cannon, Bokuto likes plump girls, he stated it, right before he got hit.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Koutarou Bokuto

* Precious Bo, he sees your a bit on the thicker side, and thinks, “That’s pretty.”

* Bo showers you with praise and love on any normal day, BUT when he sees you getting sad and start picking at yourself, he’ll come up behind you, wrap his arms around your shoulders, hands running down your arms until his reaches your hands and makes you hug yourself while he hugs you, he placed his chin on your shoulder and looks at you in the mirror, your sad eyes hurt him and he gives you a small smile and starts to list off things about you that make you special to him.

* Bokuto, will love you to no end, he loves the endless jokes and sarcastic humor that comes out of you. Admires the fact that you sometimes get brave enough to smack Kuroo on the back of the head even if he towers both of you.

* Slightly confused when you hit punched him and then held himself bud begged him to never leave you alone again, Then hit him over the head with a pillow when he wouldn’t stop taking during nap time.

* Puns? Bokuto loves puns, he’s a sucker for them, and when you come up with a good one that has him crying, he’ll call or drag you to Kuroo and make you tell him so he can brag and say “You hear that? My girlfriend is funnier then yours, oh wait, you don’t have one.”

* Bokuto, is the perfect brolationship, at four in the morning he’s willing to party and have just dance competition while screaming along to music at the top of his lungs, then cue cuddling until late morning, followed by sleepy brunch, and then instead gaming or whatever you two decide to do, will take you to walk the park and make terrible jokes about anything or challenge you in some beach volleyball. Don’t know how to? Well! Let the one of the countries best aces teach you! If you agree he’ll be ecstatic. Over the months he’s learned one thing, getting home after a long day, he’s in boyfriend mode, which means, he’ll probably hold you close to his chest, laying down on the bed under a blanket with the school on watching Netflix with sleepy eyes, or cuddled into he sofa in a fuzzy blanket, he hold you, and let’s your head fall between his neck and shoulder. Your watching tv, but he’s watching you, being able to admire you for once, without distraction... for once, he’s content doing nothing.

* Serenade this boy. He’ll swoon, and brag, and die, and revive, and record and send it to Akaashi, Kuroo, Tsukkishima, Hinata, and everyone else who will listen to him. Especially if you do in a cheesy way, throwing pebbles at his window and standing outside and you wave your arms to get his attention and he’s confused at first because “WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE IN THE DARK?! COME INSIDE!” He pushed the window all the way up and leans half way out, “Oh! I’ll just come to y-“ “NO!” He stops, one leg out the window one arm on the window and one hand supporting him on the roof.

* “IM TRYING TO SERENADE YOU SO JUST STAY STILL FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES.” He complied and pouted.

* Honestly? That’s how you confessed to him, that you love him. Becaus he asked you to be his girlfriend, but neither of you had said “I love you.”

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“LETS GOOOOOOO!” You screamed from the stands, you watched the practice game between Nekoma and Fukurodani, Your boys had taken the first set, Nekoma the second, and the third set had been lasting way to long, but still almost tied. It went bad when Bokuto missed the perfect chance to spike and got blocked.

“Kuroo.” You hissed as the whistle blew. You watched Bokuto walk off the court not looking at anyone or anything, just walking. You looked around and quickly rushed to go find Bokuto. You passed Akaashi and told him you’d take care of Bokuto, he nodded and let you go. It took a while but you found him, outside the gym, staring at the ground, he was squatting, his Jersey pulled over his head, his hair still visibly sad. He was pouting, and just staring at the ground. You squatted next to him, struggling a bit and handing him a water bottle, you held it out, he turned his head the other way, “I don’t deserve it.”

“Bo,” you said and nudged him, “You do, so take it.”

“No, I-“ you cut him off by squeezing the bottle and squirting him.

“Come on,” you stood up and offered a hand, “Seeing you sad makes me sad, let’s go him so at least then we have a blanket to drown out sorrows in.” He huffed and looked away again, water dripping down his face before he huffed and stood up, “I’m choosing a movie.” He grumbled, you smiled and nodded, “Okay.”

The walk him was abnormally quiet, no jokes from either side, just silence, hands held tight, a few sniffles, whispered words of consolation, until you found yourself at Bokuto’s house. He led you in, up to his room and walked into his bathroom to change. You were wearing leggings, and a tank top, over that you had Bokuto’s jacket. Not his home jacket with team colors but his away jacket that was plain white. You pulled it off and threw it on his chair and kicked off your sneakers and got under the blanket trying to pre heat the bed. He came back and you handed him the remotes you’d opened Netflix and it was him who would choose so you just waited idly. He got in bed behind you facing the tv, one arm under your waist holding you the other over you with the remote trying to find something to watch. He settled for the movie A Silent Voice, you’d learned after all this time, he actually likes Slice of Life, romance type of things which surprised you, and onto you because he made you SWEAR not to tell anyone. To this day, you’ve held firm on that swear. At some point Bokuto started to cry talking about how he was so mean to to her, and she didn’t deserve to be bullied, and then started crying when he found out he fell in love with her. You turned in his arms and just hugged his chest telling him everything is okay. They have each other now, and he only sniffled and your heart broke a bit, the game really must have hurt him, he hardly cries this hard at these things.

“Bokuto?” You asked bringing a hand up to brush a few loose strands back up to where they belong.

“Hm?” He hummed looking down at you and then back to the tv when he realized you were looking at him.

“You know I’m here for you right? Good, bad, win or loss, I’m here for you and I always will be, even when you don’t want me to, I’m going to be by your side, and I Akaashi is to. So please don’t be sad? We care about you, and it hurts to see you sad.”

“Don’t worry about me,” he smiled at you and squeezed you to his chest and placed a quick kiss on your head, “I have you.” You still head a bit of sadness in his voice, but you wouldn’t push it. So you hugged his chest and nodded against him, “Remember it? Okay?”

He nodded “I will,” as he started the next movie. During the first thirty minutes he’d talked about a movie scene where someone scent a band to play outside the window of the person they loved, and then confessed to them. He looked so happy as it played, during that time you’d planned what you were going to do. You got up and told him you had to pee, to engraved in the movie he just nodded, “okay.”

So you rushed to his living room, took his wireless speaker, and found a simple soft version of the song you’d been looking for. “I’m about serenade the sadness right out of you.” Talking to your self, you tried so hard to quietly leave the house, with success you picked a few random flowers you found growing between bushes and picked up some pebbles.

Click.....nothing... click..... nothing, click click..... you saw movement and get ready to push play.

He opened his window and looked around and you waved your arms and he looked at you, before saying, “Why are you outside? It’s dark? Come in side.”

“Bokuto I-“ he cut you off “Oh! I’ll come to you!” The first story of the house wasn’t high, in fact you two often walked in the roof and layer on it to look at the stars. So it was no surprise when he started crawling out the window, one leg out, the other holding the window sill to pull himself out, he stopped when you screamed, “BOKUTO NO! Just stay there for five minutes!”

He immediately pouted but stood there pulling his leg back in. “I know you’ve been sad and don’t like being alone but just let me do this.” He didn’t look at you directly now entering emo mode.

You sighed with a smile and turned up the volume and started.

“You with the sad eyes Don't be discouraged,” He peeked at you, his arms still crossed over his chest, you took a breath to build up confidence,

“Oh I realize It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all The darkness inside you Can make you feel so small.”

He turned to look at you completely and honestly you were getting teary eyed, and you got the feeling he was too.

“Show me a smile then Don't be unhappy,” his lips started to quiver as he tried to smile,

“Can't remember when I last saw you laughing This world makes you crazy And you've taken all you can bear Just call me up ‘Cause I will always be there”

He trying to smile but the tears that start falling make you worry.

“And I see your true colors Shining through” he gripped the window sill tight and smiled big, eyes closed and tears falling,

“I see your true colors And that's why I love you.”

Everything went silent, the pause in this song was timed perfectly, his eyes widened at he looked at you tears on his face, and smiled still wide, so you said it, “I love you Bokuto.” He started wailing and rubbing his face with his fire arm and you smiled and let out a laugh before starting again.

You finish cutting the song halfway since the rest was repetition.

“So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors True colors are beautiful

I see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors

And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors

True colors are beautiful Like a rainbow”

By the time you finished to catch your breath, he was willing crawling out the window screaming “I LOVE YOU! I love you! I LOVE you y/n!” He’s jumping o the roof screaming about how he loves you and you start to worry he might fall, but instead he walked it the edge and sat on it and tried to wiggle as far as he could before he jumped off and ran to you. You stopped him and handed him the small wild flowers you’d picked and he was ecstatic all over agin.

“I love you Bo,” you said as you squeezed him back trying to with as much force he was using on you, “I love you y/n.”

He pulled back and smiled down at you, you smiled up at him and he went for it, to him it was probably going to be the second sweetest kiss he’ll ever get from your the first still hasn’t happened yet.

[snowslasherr]

here's a little something i’m making for all of you because you deserve it ♥️ if you don’t have a valentine you have all of these babies and me as well ♥️ i love you all so much, stay safe and take care of yourselves! i'm sorry if this is too short to be a holiday special :')

i'll add a read more thing later im sorry for clogging up ur dash

Dwight Fairfield

poor boy he'd be so nervous

dwight's really good at keeping track of the days in the fog, so he'd have extra time to prepare

he just wants to make you happy : )!!

he'll nervously tug at your sleeve at the campfire. go along with it and follow him blease

after near 20 minutes of walking in the woods you were about to ask where you're going, but before the words slip out of your mouth you see what he's been leading you to

a couple dark vines are concealing a small space, with a little creek running through the middle. the trees loomed over it, much taller than some of the other trees. crows were settled on some branches but flew away when you stepped in. the whole area was littered with flowers that dwight had planted himself, with the help of claudette. he wanted to make the perfect spot just for you.

"do you like it?"

what a stupid question. of course you like it. smh ❤

theoretically you can both sit there for hours, but trials get in the way. either way, it's perfect. he's perfect.

although he wasn't expecting anything from you it was a pleasant surprise when you whipped out a little gift. you'd gotten meg to help you force convince danny to let her borrow his camera, so she could take pictures of you both. of course, dwight didn't know this

meg was a surprisingly good photographer. the photos weren't blurry and they would make a good gift even in the normal world.

when you gave them to him he teared up and spent the next half hour quickly stuttering out how much he loves and appreciates you : )

Meg Thomas

oh boy

meg is a lil bundle of energy

you'll just be chilling at the campfire, maybe lounging around talking to nancy or jeff, when meg just nyooms in and grabs your hand. you squeak and she just starts zooming away, dragging you along with her.

meg tends to keep her offerings in a secluded place (a hollow tree trunk) because sometimes the other survivors tend to get the offerings mixed up. unfortunately, meg found this specific tree while on a run. she looked like she was having the time of her life, her braids flying behind her. she was fast.

she finally stopped and you could have a well deserved break. but that break was unfortunately cut short, because meg only stopped to pick up a small photo, before she burst back into a run.

when you got back to the campfire, she barely looked phased. you were panting, trying to catch your breath, and she looked relatively calm. she slipped the photo into the fire and then skipped off to the woods with you, to avoid passing out in front of the others.

when you woke up, the both of you were in the ormond resort. the entity had accepted the offer. you didn't even want to ask how she'd gotten the legion to stay out of their realm for you two

neither of you were dressed properly, but like almost everything in the fog, the temperature was fake.

which led to the most obvious situation

snowball fight!

she's so extra with it. she'll build a whole fort while you're pelting her with snowballs, paying no mind to it.

she makes it so big that you could hide in her fort and attack her with snowballs from the inside.

eventually, the girl gets worn out. it takes a while. but she still wants to keep going, so you two make snow angels with connected wings.

after you're both too tired to do anything else, you're pulled back to the campfire, grinning and tired

Claudette Morel

sweet baby. absolute sweetie.

smol lil claudette just pokes you on the arm, gesturing for you to follow her.

of course, you do. don't deny her she's babey

she's taking you down a long homemade path that you've never seen before. maybe because claudette spent hours between trials clearing it out just for this day, and finished it before she came to get you.

Jake Park

he didn't really have big plans for valentines day. dwight reminded him and he kinda just shrugged it off

he probably won't ever have a huge celebration for valentines day, it's not his style. he's a chill guy.

he'll probably sit with you in a clearing near the forest, holding his arm out for the crows to perch on, and showing you how to do that as well

he'll want to just lounge around, comfy day. you wanna get up? nah. comfy day. not today amigo.

consider yourself extremely special if he gives you a bouquet. it's rare, but he might!

the crows will dance around and bob their heads when you cuddle. they don't know what they're doing but let's just say they support your relationship. he totally didn't train them to do that.

he cares, kind of. he knows it's a day to be sappy but again, not really his style. he'll take the opportunity for a bit of affection though.

Nea Karlsson

nea has been planning this for a while, lets say.

every trial that you go in without her is an opportunity! she's been making a detailed mural with the few spray paints she's been allowed by the entity.

she's sure you'll be proud of her. and to top it all off, she finished just in time for valentines day. what a coincidence!

after you get back from a surprisingly laid back trial, you don't get a chance to rest before nea's smiling and telling you to follow her. you complain for a moment, but gave in anyway. you always do

she jumps over a couple logs and puddles, before coming across a couple lone brick walls. they look like nothing at first, but then you walk around to the other side.

nea's smirking as you're in awe, looking at her and then the mural.

"it's beautiful," you whisper, eyes shining. "but not more beautiful than you."

she does a complete double take at the cheesy generic line. she crosses her arms, looking away. but you can see the smile that she was trying to hide. she looked so pretty when she smiled.

Laurie Strode

she'll organize a little something :)

if you can imagine a party room, maybe one similar to one you'd see at a young kids birthday party, that's the kind of thing she'd set up.

it's just a comforting and safe scene, so she thought it'd be best

she collected a lot of offerings for this, please like it : (

she would've baked something but there's no ingredients in the fog besides corn

if you want corn though go for it

it has the vibes of one of those really good cookies from Walmart or something (okay i googled it they're called lofthouse cookies)

in the end she just wants a comfy safe environment,, it's so nice compared to the brutal things that happen in trials

Ace Visconti

do not let this man near flowers or anything of the sort. he'll take a bunch and

so cheesy

he'll take some random thing off the ground that looks cool (like a dandelion or a shiny rock) and say it's a luck charm, and pass it to you.

ace, handing you a flower tied to a funky rock with a piece of grass: happy valentines day :)

he'll set up a whole area beside the campfire for you two and if anyone steps into it he'll kick them out

if he finds a heart shaped rock he'll riot and get nea to spray paint it red. ultimate luck charm. because it's a reminder of him.

Feng Min

small little gamer :)

i'm convinced feng will take you on a romantic trip to taunt killers

myers is tired of it. susie thinks you guys are cute. evan is not having a good time. sally is supporting you. it's chaos

feng is just holding your hand, walking you around the autohaven wreckers. philip is cloaked and is too scared to be hit in the face with a pallet to uncloak.

feng is really short and she's climbing on things to be taller than you, just for the fun of it.

piggy back rides!! she loves piggy back rides. yeehaw

pick her up and carry her around? heart eyes motherfucker

Quentin Smith

aw what a cutie

he forgot about valentines day, but no fear! you didn't

after you guys swim he'll act like he's really tired so that he can rest his head on your lap. you know he's lying cause he keeps silently laughing as if he's a genius sneaky trickster

when you just happily say happy valentines day he's like 😳

he panics

just reassure him it's fine and you did something!

he's still upset about forgetting, but he's quickly distracted by you.

you've found a secluded spot in the woods, the only disturbance being the occasional core popping in to see what's up

you set up a blanket fort. you'd burned quite a few offerings for this. it worked out better than you expected it to, and you were pretty happy with it overall.

you spent as much time there as you could before being pulled into a trial

the time spent together made up for the offerings burned

Kate Denson

both of you set it up together

you stayed at the campfire, nothing crazy

kate played her guitar, and she showed you how to play a song or two (assuming you don't know how to already)

if you want to sing you are welcome to :)

kate will encourage you all the way even if you sound like nails on a chalkboard

she'll make anyone who comments negatively on your voice have a time out. no questions asked. they're older than her? don't care time out.

it's just,, nice and cozy,, and uninterrupted by trials

Jeff Johansen

big cuddly man!

like nea he'll also do something art related!

but it'll still be unique of course

instead of a mural, he'd do a small-ish but still breathtaking painting.

the rest of your day would be spent just chillin. if you're unlucky enough to be ripped into a trial, he'll bring a toolbox to get out as soon as possible. yknow. for more chillin.

Jane Romero

she'd be pretty extra

again, meg would force convince danny to let her use her camera. she'd have a big photoshoot, as best as she can with the limited resources. claudette would set up a scene, and you and jane would pose for the pictures

they turned out really good!

jane keeps them in a secure place and she won't tell you where if you say anything negative about how you looked. not risking it babe!

(phew finally done! i'm super sorry i was a couple survivors short, i didn't wanna burn myself out. if you like it please reblog? i made this in less than 24 hours to surprise you guys. i hope this is a decent special!)

[kingofattolia]

a list of things about Star Wars: The Last Jedi

TLJ felt like watching two completely separate movies. .. .  one i deliriously LOVED and one i spit upon and shake its profane dust off my sandals

THE GOOD

“ive got an urgent message for General Hux” “YOUR REBELLION IS DOOMED” “yeah... im holding for General Hux”

it straight up took me a minute and a half of this scene to figure out this was actually the start of the movie. it felt like one of those pre-movie skits where it seems like a movie but then anthropomorphic M&Ms tell you to turn your cell phone off. was it just me or were there a LOT more comic moments in TLJ compared to almost every other star wars movie? anyway i loved it even tho it gave the movie a slight someone-made-this-while-high-on-LSD feel 

Leia USING THE FORCE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

R2 playing Luke the “you’re my only hope” recording of Leia, i almost died

FORCE SHENANIGANS. we saw more powerful, dramatic, and varied uses of the Force in TLJ than we have ever before seen in a live action media and i was L I V I N G

“you’ve closed yourself off from the Force”

Rey and Kylo’s foRCE BOND TALKING like this.. . . is so interesting .. .  and it wasn’t only Snoke doing it because they did it again after he’s dead...

Rey lifting 30 giant fricken boulders without even breaking a sweat after having one (1) single “training” session

Kylo remotely activating Anakins lightsaber

projecting himself........ across the entire galaxy. . ..

Yoda. in the former EU the Force ghosts had a non-negotiable expiration date a certain time after their deaths. Obi-Wan couldnt just come back and visit Luke forever, he faded away at some point. is this no longer true??? DOES THIS MEAN ANYONE CAN COME BACK IF THEY WANT??? why was yoda so physical even as a ghost that he could whack luke on the head

summoning lightning like alright this is a new Jedi power im adding to my arsenal

Leia’s mary poppins action

Luke vaulting across the cliff to stab fish

POE'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT he turned from a kamikaze into a leader who's able to see the big picture and walk away, im so proud

everyone..... messing with Hux...... i loved this

Snoke smacking him into the floor

Kylo smacking him into the wall

Kylo force choking him

slowly taking gun out. . . . . HES AWAKE ABORT ABORT... slowly putting gun back . . . Hux is going spend every waking moment wishing he took that shot

Finn's character arc, like what an awesome Slytherin. the contrast between him and the codebreaker 👌👌👌👌 & where he makes the choice REBEL scum 👌👌👌

LET'S GO, CHROME DOME

i cant believe Phasma died again lol. her backstory novel was SO DRAMATIC and she just dies over and over

when Kylo does that little skid out into the hallway to look for Rey

Chewy breaking down Luke's door

when Luke kisses Leia on the forehead . . . .

kylo KILLING SNOKE I AM LITERALLY SO HAPPY. I AM SO HAPPY. IM SO

this had to happen, it was so obvious but i didnt think they would actually do it, Snoke was so boring and useless, i am SO GLAD they didnt drag him out..... I AM SO HAPPY HES DEAD

it was truly awesome... i couldnt stop grinning it seeing it the 2nd time... "I CANNOT BE BETRAYED, I CANNOT BE BEATEN, I CAN SEE HIS MIND" & then he narrates the entire process of Kylo killing him i was LIVING. everyone theorized for so loooooong and so hard about what form Snoke's control over Kylo took and how it would be possible for him to break it,, , , and then he just DOES IT JUST LIKE THAT by SHEER MISDIRECTION FOLKS I AM SO ALIVE

THE TEAM UP FIGHT

i love lightsaber fights so much i would very nearly give up my critical integrity for a single awesome duel and this was,,, so awesome

when Rey drops her lightsaber to catch it again and cut that guys knees out from under him

when Snoke is cut in half and then the lightsaber rockets towards Kylo and Rey's hand SHOOTS INTO THE FRAME to catch it 👌👌👌

when Kylo takes on FOUR OF THEM AT ONCE

"THE SUPREME LEADER IS DEAD" "long live. . . the supreme leader .. "

not gonna lie, i am such a huge fan of supreme leader!Kylo. CAN HE EVEN LEAD ANYONE??? DOES HE HAVE THE CAPABILITY?? HONESTLY WHAT DOES HE WANT TO DO? WHAT WILL HIS SELF-DIRECTED MISSION BE? VADER NEVER GOT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ATTACK DOG, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING TO HAPPEN

I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA BUT IM SO HYPE TO FIND OUT

THIS IS BRAND NEW

"finn! rose! you're not dead! where's my droid"

the little slave kids from Canto Bight. did the kid at the end use the Force to pull his broom!??!

"that library did not contain anything the girl Rey does not already possess" Yoda thinks hes so funny. REY STOLE THE LIBRARY LMAO... thanks Rey... im glad someone around here has a brain...

the Falcon swooping in to draw off the TIEs on Crait

"OH, THEY HATE THAT SHIP"

Vice Admiral Holdo's lightspeed kamikaze. . . aside from the drama of the moment & making Hux look stupid, just visually it was awesome

absolutely every single thing said by either Hux or Kylo in Kylo's command shuttle above Crait

"i want every gun we have to fire on that man"

"blow that PIECE OF JUNK oUT OF THE SKY"

when kylo's like "concentrate all fire on the speeders" and then Hux immediately shrieks "CONCENTRATE ALL FIRE ON THE SPEEDERS" and Kylo looks at him like 🤔

"do you think you got him?"

when Luke faces Kylo

WHEN LUKE FACES KYLO

this scene makes the movie for me honestly. as of now im in a state of uneasy ceasefire with TLJ and the sequel trilogy as a whole. if the scene of Luke facing Kylo did not exist, TLJ would probably be dead to me

"did you come to SAVE MY SOUL" "no."

absolutely everything about Luke was so completely epic in this scene. even though he barely said anything, even the way he stood was epic. im not sure how Hamill did this but it was everything i ever wanted

"i failed you, Ben. I'm sorry." "i'm sURE YOU ARE"

the contrast between Kylo's fighting stance and Luke's

when Luke steps out from the massive cloud and duSTS OFF HIS SHOULDER

this fills me with so much pure glee i could literally ascend

"if you strike me down in anger, i'll always be with you. like your father."

the slow, dawning horror when Kylo starts realizing Luke's not actually there

"see you around, kid"

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

my favorite line in the WHOLE THING i could Scream

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

when Rey slams the door in Kylo's face

THE BAD

Luke should have LIFTED HIS X WING OUT OF THE WATER WITH THE FORCE AT SOME POINT GOSH DARN. i knew from the moment we saw the submerged x wing that this moment was meant to happen.... but then it DIDN’T. like PLEASE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE THIS

the casino subplot. . .  it was awesome for Finns character development but couldn’t he have developed character over an actually materially relevant story arc.. . .

BB-8 didn’t fight Dark BB-8 like what the hell honestly

for what earthly reason does Kylo need to wear his pants up to his armpits. is he TRYING to look like a doofus

why wasn't Lando the master codebreaker. like quite frankly, give me one good reason. why. no. there are no good reasons. when is Lando going to come into it you cowards

honestly....... what the FRICK was that horrible backstory behind what caused Kylo to turn

WHAT THE FRICK

im trying to keep my cool but this is a huge, enormous, and vital problem i have with this movie and whoever came up with that should be shot

Luke, in a brief moment of insanity, ignited his lightsaber over his sleeping nephew's bed to assassinate him because of a vision

LUKE SKYWALKER the guy who wouldnt believe that DARTH VADER, ENSLAVER OF WORLDS, SLAUGHTERER OF CHILDREN, MASS MURDERER OF THOUSANDS, was a lost cause and who refused to kill him, TRIED TO KILL HIS APPRENTICE IN HIS SLEEP

like... do you see my problem?

character assassination. it is ludicrously greater-than-Anakin Skywalker levels of overreaction to a Force premonition that Luke would see a vision of darkness and instantly move to slice his sleeping, defenseless nephew in half, and even in Luke's version of the story Luke is legitimatly the bad guy. he brought about the future he was afraid of, just like Anakin

because of this background, every interpretation is blown wide open to reasonably see Kylo as the victim and Luke's actions as those of a villain. of course he had to defend himself? it's legitimately possible to construe the subsequent killing of the other students as self-defense as well. if they wake up to find Ben having "killed" Luke? anything could have happened, Kylo could honestly have done barely anything bad up to this point and have been driven to the dark side on that one night

it's going to take.... so much work.... to walk this back. obviously Kylo's a villain now, because of what he's chosen to do since then, but for Luke to come out of this not looking like trash, they would have to provide SO MUCH more backstory including the "dark" things Kylo had done to make Luke suspect him, and have him probably be actively seeking darkness while under Luke's tutelage. and then Luke still seems like a fool and a betrayor

maybe they WANT Luke to come off as a legitimately bad person? i've seen some interpretations of TLJ as tearing down "legends" by showing everyone as flawed people, teaching the lesson of not deifying people to Rey AND the audience as well. if thats true and they actually want me to believe Luke is not worth believing in, i'm sorry but i reject that

luke skywalker is not a bad person

rey said "you didnt fail Kylo, Kylo failed you" WHICH... its true that Kylo failed in all his actions after this. but if this is the unmitigated truth about what happened that day, Luke definitely failed Kylo, thats not really arguable

i spit this backstory out of my mouth and stomp on it

bye felicia

"the legacy of the jedi is failure and hypocrisy. at the height of their power they allowed darth sidious to come to power and wipe them out" ok true. "it was a jedi master who was responsible for the training and creation of darth vader" YOU TAKE THAT BACK

a related point..... Luke is a coward.

i'm not saying that the only kind of Luke i would accept is HEROIC LEGEND LUKE WHO BURSTS FORTH FROM HIS ISOLATION AND SINGLE HANDEDLY DEVASTATES THE FIRST ORDER. but at the same time, his isolation is NOT in any way comparable to Obi-Wan's. "i came here to die" ok buddy.

dying is all well and good, hiding from your failures, being broken for a while after taking a hit like that

what i am NOT able to forgive is how he abandoned Leia

???? the frick???

"so many losses, i can't take any more" "sure you can" STORY OF LEIA'S LIFE

"im from the resistance, your sister Leia sent me" boy when she says jump you better say "how high?" honestly YOU OWE IT AT LEAST TO YOUR GUILT TO DO THAT FOR HER

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE? SHE'S ON HER OWN DEALING WITH EVERY PROBLEM IN THE WHOLE GALAXY AND HE'S DOING WHAT? YOU'RE TELLING ME LUKE WOULD HAVE ABANDONED HIS SISTER LIKE THAT??? AND WHEN SHE SPECIFICALLY ASKS FOR HIM HE SAYS "no frick u" ?!?!?

if that's Luke Skywalker then Luke Skywalker is a useless coward

that is not Luke Skywalker

honestly everything Rey said was spot on "Leia sent me here with hope. if she's wrong then she deserves to know why. we all do"

the overall thesis of the sequel trilogy seems to be "there's no point to any of this"

a powerful student turns to the dark side and destroys the Jedi Order. an authoritarian regime destroys the republic and takes over. a small band of resistance fighters rallies against great odds. a Force sensitive from a desert planet teaches herself the Force from old Jedi books after her teacher evaporates into the Force after teaching like 1 lesson. everyone Leia loves dies

guys... i'm tired

it's just exhausting. what is the point? in the sequel trilogy we've seen the republic destroyed, the resistance decimated and harried from place to place until theyre down to 12 people on the millennium falcom. there's only one movie left. they're going to come back from nothing and destroy the first order and then smile at each other in the ashes?

why?>??? what are they going to do? build a republic again? is rey going to build a new jedi order? we've seen how that worked out

there's nothing to believe in here. HOPE is such a strong theme in the sequel trilogy. "as long as there's light we've got a chance" "leia sent me here with hope" "the galaxy has lost its hope, the spark is out." "hope is like the sun, if you only believe in it when you can see it you'll never make it through the night." like good grief. constantly hammering on the need to have hope, but WHY?

what's the point of defeating the imperials, spending your life trying to build something good in the galaxy, trying to build a family, when you're only going to have to do it all again in your old age, when everyone you love is dead?

i cant see any hope if this is the ending for the OT characters, so i powerfully struggle to care about and cheer for Rey, Poe, and Finn. what's the point in anything they're doing? what's the point in the sacrifices they're making? it might turn out just exactly like it did for Luke, Leia, and Han, spending their old age in loneliness, sorrow, and violence

if this is the way history repeats itself, you probably should just make out like the stuttering codebreaker. "dont join"

[donnieluvsthings]

(babey Noah and April time) Noah stared at the girl one row over and two seats up. She had long brown hair and was listening intently to whatever was being said. He saw Claire glance back at him before whispering something in her ear. The girl looked at her before turning and gazing over her shoulder, making eye contact with Noah. She waved shyly under her desk. Noah blinked before waving back. The girl turned back to the front, ignoring the persistent whispers Claire was throwing her way. (1)

okayyyy just realized i never combined these so here it is im gonna CRY theyre the best besties and i love them sm🥺🥺🥺🥺 also heck claire all my homies hate claire

Noah stared at the girl one row over and two seats up. She had long brown hair and was listening intently to whatever was being said. He saw Claire glance back at him before whispering something in her ear. The girl looked at her before turning and gazing over her shoulder, making eye contact with Noah. She waved shyly under her desk. Noah blinked before waving back. The girl turned back to the front, ignoring the persistent whispers Claire was throwing her way.

There was a flurry of sounds and noise and suddenly the classroom was empty. Noah blinked, finding himself alone. He grabbed his stuff and left, walking down the stairs and squinting in the afternoon sun. Claire bounced up behind him, her hair swaying in the slight breeze.

“I saw you looking at her," she giggled, poking Noah's cheek. "Do you like her?" she sang, running ahead. Noah didn't respond. "You do! Oh, that's so cute, Deedee!”

He sighed, annoyed. "I don't like her, Claire."

"Don't lie to yourself, Noah! This is true love." She flung herself dramatically around. "The two of you are gonna be so in love-"

“No, Claire. I don't like her." He turned down his street, leaving Claire to sing annoying songs about him all by herself. A teenager stooped down, coming to meet his young height.

“How was school?"

“Good." Noah threaded his hand through the other's as they started to walk. "Where's Mom?"

“She's busy, so I offered to come.”

“Oh. Okay.”

The pair reached a door, and the taller one turned the handle. "We're back," he shouted.

“Thank you, Jason," a voice echoed from the kitchen as a woman stuck her head around the wall. "Make sure you boys finish your homework before you do anything else, okay?"

“Yep." Noah collapsed onto the couch, his feet swinging lazily. "I saw a girl in class today," he muttered. "She was cool."

{is there a part here idk aldkals}

[timeskip]

Noah drummed his fingers on his desk absently, watching the wind toss the leaves along the ground. There was a flurry of movement and sound and he glanced up to see the girl from a year ago smirking.

“Come on, pretty boy, I want to show you something."

He laughed and grabbed his bag. “Alright, fine-" Before he could finish, she grabbed his arm and tugged him out of the classroom. The two ran around the streets of the kingdom before she finally led the way up a hill with two trees at the very top. She collapsed to the ground, laughing before spiralling into a coughing fit. An smile of fond exasperation crossed Noah's face.

“Come on, April, you're better than that." He set down his bag gently against one of the trees. "Don't hurt yourself."

She busied herself with picking the flowers scattered around the hill, weaving them into each other. "When's your birthday?" she asked, focused on the flowers.

“June 7th."

“Hey, that's three days before mine."

“Yeah, I guess it is." She finished and hid her creation behind her back. "Close your eyes."

He glanced up. "Why?"

“Just do it." He did so and a small weight pressed itself into his hair. "Your majesty." He opened his eyes seeing her standing up and bowing to him.

He laughed, removing it from his head. "A flower crown?"

“Mom taught me how to make them last week."

He replaced it. "That's awesome."

“Yeah." She sat down again. "This is our kingdom now."

He looked over at her. "Ours?"

“Yeah. Here's all our people." She cupped a group of small flowers in her hand. "And there's our castle." She pointed towards the two trees, their branches swaying gently in the breeze. "And here's our awesome leader." She grinned brightly up towards Noah.

He laughed, taking off the crown and observing it carefully. "I'm not a leader, April."

“Yes, you are," she countered lazily. "You're epic. At everything." The pair sat in peaceful, comfortable silence for a few minutes as Noah studied April's work.

"Hey, April," he whispered. "Can you teach me?"

“Teach you what?" He looked towards the flower crown. "How to make one."

A bright smile grew onto April's face. "Yeah!”

[timeskip]

Noah watched the window, the leaves waltzing through the air by the silent wind. There was a flurry of noise and Noah couldn't see.

“Surprise," a voice smiled from behind him.

“Is the surprise me not getting to see where I'm going?" he muttered.

“Nope. Just go where I lead, and keep your eyes shut."

{uhh something part here i think}

He glanced around again, now noticing the small, leaf-shaped papers delicately and carefully tied along each of the branches. He stood up, reaching for the closest one and realizing there was writing on it.

He squinted, trying to read it. “The best friends are the ones that aren't trying too hard." He smirked. "Didn't Jayce say that when-"

“When you were trying to figure out how to make a flower crown last year?" she finished for him.

“Is that what this is? A bunch of people telling me to chill...”

{i think theres a part here}

[timeskip]

Noah watched the blur of red, yellow, orange, and purple flutter to the ground as someone yanked him up, out of his seat and dragged him along the hallways. "Come on, Deedee," Claire murmured, dragging him along the halls. "You're finally going to get a girlfriend."

“Excuse me?" he stuttered, almost tripping over his feet. "I don't-"

“Shh, Claire-bear and the girls have got it all worked out," she interrupted. "Today's the day!"

“The day for what?"

“The day you and April finally stop dancing around each other and you ask her out!" she squealed, pushing him forward and almost causing him to trip over April, who also had a few people shoving her towards Noah.

She blinked, avoiding eye contact. "Listen, Noah, I don't- I mean, I'm not-“

Noah sighed, beyond pissed off. He spun towards Claire. "Can you, like, back off? For two seconds?"

Her cheery smile was replaced with a confused one.

"Neither of us like each other. Not in that way." His eyes darkened. "So please, for the love of Nja, stop it. Just stop."

He glanced over his shoulder at the people behind April, already knowing he'd regret yelling at them but having no control.

“What's the point? Can't you tell how stressed she is? Or are you so blind to reality," he took a few angry steps, making them scatter, "that you're willing to put aside human emotions for your own purposes and lies.”

He paused, trying to slow down his breath. The only sounds were the quiet sniffles of the group. "Now go back to class. Please."

He let their footsteps echo down the halls as he turned towards April, blowing his hair out of his eyes.

“I'm sorry, they just-" Before he finished, he was cut off by April wrapping her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for having the courage to say what I couldn't." Noah blinked, stunned, before hugging her back.

[timeskip]

The wind blew April's hair gently around, calm and slow. The two had been sitting on the hill for an hour or two, the sun beginning to set, just appreciating the other's company. A worried look crept onto April's face. Noah recognized it and sat up.

“What are you thinking about?"

She glanced over, surprised, before looking back to the sky. "It's nothing."

{missing but i think i can guess what she said aldjald}

Nah blinked. "No. You aren't broken, okay?" He reached out and gently rested his hand on her shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with you. Maybe you will like other people later. Maybe you won't; and either of those are great. But you aren't broken."

"Then what am I?" Her voice was low. "If I'm not broken then what am I?"

“I don't know," he answered quietly. "But whatever happens, I'll stay by your side."

He saw a small smile cross her face. “No matter what?"

“No matter what."

[timeskip]

Noah felt the breeze stab into his side, ripping his already torn heart into thousands of tiny pieces. The hill seemed steeper than before. He wanted to collapse, wanted to just give up, but he had to know. He had to make sure. A figure stood at the top of the hill, holding a single, small, delicate flower. He stopped by the tree behind them, shivering in the night air.

“Did you hear?" they muttered, monotone and emotionless.

“I'm sorry, April," he whispered, voice catching. He heard her take a few breaths before sitting down. He walked forward a few paces, kneeling beside her. “I'm so sorry."

He could feel her shaking, silent waves of grief passing over her in the darkness. “Not your fault," she stuttered out. "They- they said it was a gas leak, an accident." Silence worked its way in between the two. "Mom's gone." She shut her eyes, finally succumbing fully to the sadness and anger and fear. "She's gone."

Noah looked out across the kingdom, still seeing a faint trail of smoke.

“I'm the Sacred Knight now."

“I know."

“I don't know what's going to happen."

“I'll try to help."

“They're saying that I need a Guardian, Noah," she whispered quietly, determined. "I want that to be you." He took in her words, blinking slowly. "You're my best friend. And I'd trust you with my l-life." She pushed away the tears crawling down her cheeks. "I want it to be you."

“Alright."

“Thank you." She buried her face into Noah's chest, hugging him tightly. "Thank you."

He wrapped his arms around her, unsure whether this was happy or not. Eventually to two were looking towards the sky, night already taking over. April pointed upwards.

“See, there's Unileve the Dragon," she whispered out into the peaceful silence. "Legends say you can always feel xer smile, even from far away, and when xe laugh, it fills you with happiness and joy and light."

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode 13: “The new strategy is to ignore me unless they want to use me.” - Chips

Vocaroo

Vocaroo 2

Vocaroo 3

Video

So I assume everyone is voting me this round. Just like I assumed last round.

The new strategy is to ignore me unless they want to use me. So thats fun.

Anyway i was told at the last minute rhe vote changed to Brandan and... lol it did? Poor Brandan and whoever probably was either not let in or was scared of his idol.

Anyway, I was told to vote Seamus this round and I would be okay. Im putting my faith there.

this confessional is gonna be messy and i dont wanna cry on camera so here it goes. im basically just copying and pasting from my DR.

EARLIER IN THE DAY: ive made an executive decision that im going to be loyal to daisy and szymon and i don’t care if i lose to them at the end i dont have the heart in me to betray them it’s not worth it i wanna win and if i get to the end and they ask why? when you know it’s a good game move? The Winning Move? bc i think sometimes winning ain’t everything and i think getting to the end ad losing to someone worthy is fine!!! and maybe one day i’ll be able to like be ruthless in games but !!! LMAO today is not that day and it won’t be ever u know — plus they both have to know they both win to me? right? so yeah i just don’t have it i me and ill defend that in jury and also cop to it like i’ll OWN it i fucking get it but if i could still get to the end at all that should be recognized a bit and yeah maybe i’ll lose but idk it’s not worth it i don’t like how i feel rn and i don’t want to make another person feel that way bc let’s face it i can’t hinge my games on winning things ive won nothing myself this whole game it’s okay but i can’t center shit around it but i think ive played a good game and it’s different than theres and there’s so many times when they have both come to me there’s a lot ive done too

LATER IN THE DAY:

instead of chips we're cutting seamus. which fits into my boot order and what i wanted to do anyways since f9. but. daisy it not happy and i tried to explain it to her like this:

okay a few facts 1. im loyal to u and szymon first and foremost 2. next to either of u at the end i will not win 3. im okay with that at this point bc i cant really emotionally justify cutting yall and not going to fire for either of yall + i doubt ill win fic if its a f2 between the two of yall but i want to do SOMETHING game wise u know and yeah idk, i know u and seamus are close and i do feel like bad about this especially on an emotional level but i know that either way if i get to the end with either of u im losing but i wanna say at least i could make a move that showed some foresight game wise idk i hope that doesnt come off as like GUILT TRIPPY OR WHATEVER IM JUST BEING REALISTIC at this point bc i know i have my loyalty and i know it something im not good at breaking and if i get shit on it at the end if i make it, so be it, but that doesnt mean i didnt know what moves needed to be made and idk yeah and i get it if u dont feel the same way especially after this or anything but thats where my head is at.

ME IN MY DR AND TO SZYMON AN HOUR BEFORE TRIBAL:

anyways im going home tonight i feel it i really do i promise i wont throw a fit ive already been crying about another org and how dumb i am in games bc im too loyal but it is what it is and thats how i am and its not gonna change to win an org like i know this is all on me but yeah like i said to szymon if ive made daisy angry i voted for chips last round chips/daisy/seamus vote for me to go 3-3 revote dylan flips i leave period i know its over i just feel it i really do and maybe its just bc i felt the same way literally 24 hours ago in survivor week in another and i had my closest ally saying ur not going home i promise ur not going home and etc and just literally playing mental gymnastics and now mind games and using her TAROT CARDS AGAINST ME basically like the irony isnt lost on me that szymon is telling me the same thing im just calm about it im sad but im calm bc i know its happening im sad bc i dont want it to end i dont wanna go but its the end

so brandan went home and ive been nervous all round. i finally feel kinda comfortable with my 5 and yet i don't. so i didn't have time to really try on the challenge because i went out with friends and had work all day so i had 30 mins to do the challenge. sorry i don't wanna use my only free time in my day to try hard on it i actually have a life. so nOW everyone wants me out bc apparently i was playing the middle and throwing challenges. like NO BING BONG. MY GAME HAS NOT BEEN THAT GOOD AND IM FINE ADMITTING THAT. the real reason they r voting me is bc daisy is immune. that is a fact.

so all day no one speaks to me and iM LIKE IK SOMETHING IS WRONG. and finally daisy calls me and tells me jules/dylan are leading the charge against me and everyones voting me. so we whipped up this plan to pull in chips and force a tie. or rocks. either im fine with. and szymon just now 20 mins before tribal tries to bs me how theres nothing he can do. so hopefully this shit ties or jules GOES HOME.

Video

HOLY MOLY IS STUFF HAPPENEING AT THIS FINAL 6 LIEK!!

ugh all the outside of game stuff going on doesnt really matter but yeah sorry for no videos once again <33

i feel like this vote is really going to solidify whether or not i sit in the end or as one of the last jurors and it has me really stressed out. if i can use my extra vote this round to make a play against seamus it doesnt even matter if i win immunity at f5 bc i have an idol to play. it's really crazy to imagine myself in f4 and be like, just 1 step away from potentially winning the game

i feel like if i can stick with szymon, jules, and daisy at the end i have a good chance of making final tribal and from there it just depends on who i can beat. it is going to be hard going up against helgamine people in an all helga jury for the most part but i feel confident in the game that i've played thus far and i know im capable of speaking well so, hopefully i can convince people to see that my game is a winning one and that im not just being dragged along for the hell of it!!! newayyssss SEE YOU IN FINAL 4 <33

________________________________________________________________

Seamus is voted out 4-3. He becomes the 6th member of our jury.

Watch the Cast Assessment Below:

[thebluenebula]

Ashleigh Wayne Fic AU Masterlist

A Simple Bet

~1200 words

Major Characters: Ashleigh Wayne (OC), Cassie Sandsmark

Minor Characters: Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince

When Cassie suggests that her, and Ashleigh have a sparring session, Ash happily accepts

Ash stepped out of the Zeta onto the Watchtower. She was immediately approached by Cassie. "Your late."

"Aren't I always?"

She ignored the bad joke. "What took you so long?"

"Had to stop to get something," she handed a small blue flower to Cassie, "it reminded me of you."

"How so?"

"It's pretty."

"You're so corny," she commented as she reached up, and delicately placed the flower into Ash's hair, "it matches your suit better though."

"If I'd known you were just going to give it back, I'd have picked one for each of us."

"Where'd you find it anyway?"

"When I was headed to the Zeta I spotted it in someone's garden."

"Ashleigh!"

"They won't miss one."

"Who is being a bad influence on you? When I met you wouldn't even take a pencil without asking."

She gave Cassie a sly grin. "Maybe it's you."

"Like hell it is. Jason? Harper?"

"Come on," she laughed, walking by Cassie towards the training room.

"Bruce, and Diana are waiting for us."

"Of course they are."

They rushed through the station to the training room where their mentors were waiting.

Bruce's gaze met Ash's, then moved up. "Batgirl, what's in your hair?"

She quickly took the flower out. "Sorry, Boss."

"It's alright," Diana said, "You two beat get started, "Guy has been asking to use this room, and Bruce is one are you done yet away from knocking him out."

"Is that a  bad thing?" Cassie asked.

"Go."

The two were headed in when Bruce's voice stoppes them in their tracks. "Batgirl."

She turned to him. "Yes?"

"Do you want me to hold that?" He asked, gesturing to the flower.

She handed to him. "Yes please."

The two made there way in, and stood face to face, only a few metres between them.

Ash glanced up at the one way glass overlooking the arena, she knew Bruce, and Diana were watching them. "B told me when he spars with Diana he had bruises for months."

"I'm not on Diana's level," Cassie assured her.

"And I'm not on B's."

"I'll go easy on you."

"Don't."

"You'll regret that."

"I regret most decisions I make."

"I can never tell when your joking."

Ash just smiled at her. "Ready?"

"Ready."

"Three, two, one."

As soon as the word left Ash's mouth, Cassie lunged at her. Ash barely dodged her first punch, but Cassie was ready as Ash dodged straight into her other fist. She flew back, and hit the ground.

Ash was sure Cassie was majorly holding back, she'd been hit harder by Duke, and Carrie. She tossed a batarang at Cassie, who blocked it effortlessly, though it gave Ash time to get to her feet.

Ash had watched Cassie fight more times then she could count, most of the time her first strategy was to hit it hard, and see if it falls down, and if that failed, hit it harder. Ash knew Cassie wouldn't hit her too hard, but her main goal was still to avoid her puches at all cost.

Bruce had offered Ash advice on how to have a chance against Cassie, but she chose to reject the offer, she'd rather figure it out herself, learn from observing, and Bruce agreed.

Ash hadn't expect the fight to be easy, nor did she expect to win, but she wanted to put up a fight.

She quickly realized that most of hee gadgets were either easily blocked, avoided, or just ineffective.

It wasn't long before Ash began getting tired. She suddenly felt her arms get pinned to her side as she was dragged off her feet. Cassie's lasso was wrapped around her.

Cassie began pulling her closer. "Give up?"

Ash tried to dig her heels into floor, but to no prevail. She struggled to get out of the bindings. "Give me a second."

Ash was at Cassie's feet now. She placed a foot on her chest. "It's over, Ash."

She smirked. "Really?"

Ash kicked Cassie's other foot, she yelped as she fell backwards, and let go of the lasso. Ash quickly freed herself, and picked up the lasso.

Cassie was back on her feet. She grinned. "You don't know how to use that, do you?"

"No idea," Ash admitted, though she tied it securely to her belt, she  didn't know how to use it, but keeping it out of Cassie's hands would hopefully give her a small advantage. Ash made a mental note to have someone teach her how to use a lasso later.

The two continued fighting, Ash getting plenty of hits in, but as far as she could tell none really did much. As for Cassie's punchs, Ash felt those, everyone of them.

Eventually both began to tire of the backs and forth, Cassie hit Ash hard, and she flew back, hitting the wall, and falling to the ground. "That hurt," she mumbled to herself.

Ash got to my feet, but immediately was swept off them again by Cassie's kick. She pinned Ash's wrist above her head. "Now it's over."

"You gotta hold me here for ten seconds."

She rolled her eyes, and began to count slowly. She was clearly confident Ash couldn't escape. "Ten... nine... eight... seven-"

Ash struggled to move her arms or legs but both were solidly pinned.

"Six... five... four-"

As a last resort Ash headbutted Cassie. She immediately realized that mistake, it felt like headbutting a brick wall.

"Three... two... one, and a half... one, and a quarter."

Ash sighed. "Now you're just teasing."

"One," Cassie stated as she got off of Ash, and helped her to her feet, "you okay?"

Ash pulled her cowl back, and rubbed her temple. "Headache."

"That was a dumb idea."

"Thanks, I realize that now."

She kissed Ash's forehead. "Better?"

"The headache, no, my feelings, yes," Ash said as she handed Cassie her lasso, "this is yours."

"I'm actually surprised you got out of it."

"Why didn't you shock me?"

"It was a sparring session, I wasn't going to shock you, plus isn't your suit insulated?"

"Yeah, but your lasso is magic."

"I still think your suit would help."

"Want to try?"

She tied the lasso to her hip. "No."

"Fine."

"Looks like your paying for dinner tonight."

"Looks like it."

The two made their way out of the sparring room, where both their mentors were waiting.

"You did well," Diana stated, "both of you."

"Thank you."

Batman placed an arm around Ash. "Let's get the doctors to look you over."

"I'm fine, I swear."

"You just fought a Wonder, trust me, something is bruised."

"Do you still have my flower?" Ash asked as the two walked off.

He pulled the flower out of one of his pouches. "Of course."

"Thank you, she said as she placed the flower back in her hair.

"You did better then you thought you would."

"She went easy on me."

"You went easy on her."

"It wouldn't have made a difference."

"When will you accept that you are actually good at this?"

She ignored his question. "Can you show me how you use a lasso?"

"I figured you'd ask, will Cassie not show you?"

"I wouldn't ask."

"Course I can, after you get checked over."

This is another fic thats been mostly finished for a while now but I’ve finally gotten round to finishing, and I am quite happy with it. I’m not great at writing prolonged fights so this was difficult, but I think it’s alright. Im trying to keep these little bits on the end kinda short, and I tend to just want to yabber on about different things in this AU, but I’m trying to keep it things related to this fic, not that I have much to say about this one, it was just a fun idea I had. Maybe I should make a post just yabbering on about my current plans for this fic? Regardless, I hope you enjoyed this one, and come back to check out another - Blue 

[corvotroyeattano]

I broke up with my boyfriend tonight and his possessions are still at my house, and every time I look at them I feel like i’m gonna cry, I broke up with my significant other because they stopped looking at me the way they did when we first met, they started to become bored of me, they complained a lot about me to other people and then when they were with me they would either tell me they loved me, or tell me they were happy which, unfortunately were both lies. I was in a poly-amorous relationship where two of three parties involved didn’t really like each other and weren’t able to be around each other, and with that, I was forced to choose which person I wanted to be with, and it’s like, do I go with the one who doesn’t love me the same anymore, or do I go with the one who smiles everytime he sees me, right now I have so many questions for what the future holds for me and the people around me but I can’t figure out why, like, why is it so hard for me to let go of a person who never really loved me fully to begin with, someone who was always stuck on someone else, someone who never really fullly understood who I was and why I did the things that I did. Who knows, maybe the universe makes relationships hard for me because maybe in some other life I committed a ridiculous crime and now I’m being punished for it? Fuck, I’m so tired, I wish I could just take a pill and fall asleep and forget about him, maybe then my life would be a little easier and maybe then I could stop feeling the things I don’t wanna feel like, Anxiety, or Depression, or Guilt, or Regret, you fucking name it. Tonight is a night where I’ve been swinging wildly from REALLY FUCKING HAPPY, to absolutely fucking empty, to What the fuck is my purpose in life anymore why am I even here. Well, I’ll tell you this, I sat here in my apartment at 1 a.m. playing Portal Stories, and I got so fucking lost in it that I just, stopped being able to control my body? Dissociation is what they call it I think, I was completely gone. Which to be honest was kind of a nice feeling, I don’t know, I kind of came to Tumblr for a distraction but it’s helping me get my fucking thoughts out and honestly like, fuck, if facebook and messenger weren’t tied to the same network and if the people I talked to were all on Tumblr I’d never use facebook again, mostly because the memes are fucking dry and it just makes me more depressed, Tumblr is rich and full of life, less ads, better content, better... porn... lol, I doubt anyone will actually see this or read it, im not honestly sure how Tumblr’s algorithm works, but what do the people that follow me or see this post think, was I correct in getting rid of the bad things in my life, or perhaps I made a mistake in going with the other guy, here’s the thing, this guy, the one that I’m leaving, was kind of awful in the sense that like, the whole world had it’s eye on him, meaning everywhere we went people looked at him like he was a piece of meat, and we mainly only went to a club where he performs, but there is this one person who shows up there just to piss me off and hurt me and the only way I could’ve possibly escaped them was to get rid of my significant other, I like watching drag shows on TV but, I never thought of being right front and center living all of the drama that goes on, I mean, It’s hard to hear numerous people talk about how much your boyfriend liked having sex with them, but then the boyfriend doesn’t stop the conversation he just lets it continue until I’m degraded to basically nothing and feel like a complete idiot. 

Oof, now that that horrible incident of terror is over, how about some light stuff that’s actually really nice to hear about.

However this other guy, who I hope to be with for a very long time, is amazing, when I said before that he smiles everytime he sees me, I fucking mean it, like, I look into his cute lil eyes and say I love you and he smiles all big and wide and says “I Love You Too” and tbh that’s all I’ve ever wanted, someone who looks at me the way he looks at me.

To my ex: I loved you, and I still do, but you never did and that fucking hurts.

To my now current boyfriend: I love you, you beautiful green eyed Fox, and I hope you love me forever :’)

[knockoutlives]

Whatever they offer you, don’t feed the plants.

Josh: Mom just told me. congrats.

Troi: I am so proud of you Vinny! Congratulations babe! I've never been happier for you, for us!

Spencer: Congratulations Vinny! When Adam gets back from his Medical Retreat we need to go for drinks! Congrats!

Abby: Congrats big brother! I can't wait to come visit and see you on stage!

Amelia: Congratulations! I’ll see you at 2 for lunch and you can tell me all about it! Mak: Congratulations Vinny!

Kevin. MY. GOD. VINCENT ANDREW DEPOLA HOW ON EARTH DID YOU KEEP THIS HIDDEN FROM ME?!?! CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING CAST AS SEYMOUR!

Unknown Number: Congratulations!

V: thanks, who's this?

(718) 565-3489: you know who this is, we met up for drinks the other night in Queens.

(718) 565-3489 : had to get out of Manhattan to make sure your boyfriend didn't hear anything about it.

V: oh ya, thanks.

(718) 565-3489 : that's it? I'll remember that the next time we hook up, and you wanna fuck me.

Vinny sighed and looked from the phone in his gloved hands, to the city street in front of him. Scanning the empty street for anyone he could potentially know. As if even seeing them would allow the other to know who Vinny was messaging. The sender's comments made him recall the night in questions, and the corners of his lips pulled into a smile as he replied.  

V: listen, I've got some things to do today. So I'm going to have to cut this short. But, I expect to see you at my place tonight at 6. He’ll be gone for a few hours.

(718) 565-3489 : fire escape, or front door.

V: fire escape, just so you don't run into him. I don't need that

(718) 565-3489 : Your wish is my command - T

Upon sending his last message Vinny locked his phone and let out an even heavier sigh as he leaned on the concrete wall of the building he had just walked out of prior to the bombardment of Text​ message - well wishes. Pushing off of the wall Vinny began his walk down the street heading towards Times Square, and the subway. There was a slight chill in the air, causing Vinny to wrap his arms around his midsection, and pulling his leather jacket closer to his body to conserve warmth.

A smile began to tug at his lips again as he recounted the morning.

--

The day had already began to speed by, though when one wakes up at six to be out the door by seven the time just begins to fly from the second you actually leave the bed. He had left Troi in the warm blankets that morning, to make his way to the gym to beat the rush. (The treadmill he liked at his gym always seemed to be taken if he was late, even If it was by five minutes.) So arriving precisely at seven fifteen gave him enough time to get his workout, shower, and get dressed into human attire by eight. Today had been no different until he left the gym and his phone began buzzing, like a virgin's vibrator on crack.

“Hello, This is Vincent….”  

“Vinny, it's Camille! Would you be able to stop by the midtown studio space this morning?”

“Of course I can! What time?”

“Now, would be nice”

“I'm on my way, I’ll be there by nine!”

Jumping on the subway almost immediately after the phone call, Vinny had arrived at the rehearsal space to find his agent Camille in the lobby of the building looking as if she had just ran down the stairs of the familiar building from the rehearsal space on the fifth floor.

“Vinny!” The woman said with a grin as she took the boy into her arms. Camille was quite short, so she normally came up to Vinny's shoulder, but in her heels today she was almost at eye level. “I'm so glad you could make it, I have two people who would really like to speak to you. It was last minute but apparently they're on a tight schedule. So they needed to get a hold of you A-S-A-P.” “Oh, alright?” Vinny said confusion clear on his face. “Vinny..” Camille said her grin still growing as she stepped into the elevator and dragging Vinny in with her,  the door closing behind them “...you got the part! You’re Seymour!”

-- 2:30 PM Cilantro - Upper West Side, New York City

“Oh, the second your mom read that Playbill article, it got plastered all over Facebook and you were tagged EVERY TIME. If I didn't get the call from Chrissy, I would have seen at least one of the 25 posts your family made!”

“God Amelia, I'm glad we weren't friends when I made it into Idiot. She went crazy. You would never have let me live it down. I mean I shouldn't complain though. She is my mother, Troi’s is just as bad.”

“I mean I would kill for my mom to be half as excited about a part I get. But that my friend is a totally different story. How was Troi when he found out?”

“Oh, he was happy. He had a bunch of errands to run earlier before he got to the studio earlier. So we haven't talked much just yet.”

Amelia took a sip of her mimosa and smiled across the table at Vinny. She was probably the oldest friend he had in the city, nonetheless​ the only one here who knew almost all of Vinny's past with and without Troi. The pair had met when Vinny was touring with American Idiot, and freshly single. In a different time and place Vinny felt Amelia might have been a perfect girlfriend for him, but with her lack of the desired plumbing and the fact that on one drunken night they may have made out, she held the coveted best friend spot and nothing more. But, of course Vinny never told Prima he might have been replaced. “Im glad things are finally working out between you guys. It was rough for a while on tour there. Until, you and Travis were a thing for a bit. You know he's in the city now, I dunno for how long but he’s got a place in Queens.” “Ya don't say?” Vinny said grabbing his Margarita and taking a large gulp of the drink.

“Ya, but we all know how you feel about taking the W into Queens. Vincent Depola doesn’t leave Manhattan unless it’s for a good reason.”

Almost instantly Vinny placed his drink down with a little too much force, and looked from Amelia to his phone. “Looks like I struck a nerve?” “No, I’m just not really in the mood to deal with any drama. And, you know drama follows him.” “Oh I know, I was living through the times of you guys screwing around AND the months following when y’all were just hating fucking. Thank god thats over” “Amen” Vinny added as he looked down at their empty plates. “So when are you going back on tour? Or, are you looking more for something more stable in the city?” “Well it depends on how the next two weeks go on Raph’s residency. I’ve got a few auditions lined up either way. If he’s leaving the city, I might jump on a tour, but there are also some workshops in and out of the city I could hop into if he stays. Why? Are you already going through withdrawls from me?” Laughing Vinny added “No! Well sort of.. I dunno.” “What’s eating at you?” Amelia responded, her tone switching almost instantly from upbeat to concern. “Nothing really, I mean it’s just weird to finally be tied down…” Sipping at his drink he continued. “...Like literally I went from the tour, to spending time home for a few months, and now I'm with Troi in New York. This isn't little old Trigger, this is the real world. And believe me I have never been happier with Troi but I just, I'm by myself too much. Granted now that I'm in the show I'll be able to rehearse and spend time with other people. But, until then it was just Troi and I, and on occasion Spadam. And you know how it is dating a dancer, or at least someone in a similar field as you. If your schedule don't align sometimes you're lucky to see them at night, again if you're lucky.”

“You sound perfectly normal Vin! It sucks, you know I know it. And that’s why I’m engaged to a doctor now. But, this is just your nerves from being pent up this long without anything really happening. Ya, you had the audition grind going, but until something happens you're on edge waiting to snap. You're in a Broadway Show now, you're going to be fine.”

Sighing, Vinny looked over at Amelia with a smile now. “I am. I'm in a Little Shop of Fucking Horrors. Finally!”

“And that's why this is on me” She added placing a credit card on the check.

--- 4:45 PM

Stepping back into the cold afternoon air the two embraced in front of the store for a moment, and then Vinny began his walk towards Central Park. Though the park wasn't too crowded this time of day, Vinny didn't mind the people that much. And, it was the fastest way to get home even if it did take him almost an hour at his leisurely pace. He enjoyed his time alone, it was something he got a lot of. But, ever since the tour ended and he went back to Trigger, it hadn't felt like he had taken a moment to just breathe, even when he was alone.

One moment he was single, and moving back home, the next he had a date with Troi. A date, that put them back on each other's radars. It took some time before he was even capable to even think about kissing Troi. Then it just happened, and happened, and happened. Numerous times, sometimes multiple at a time. Things just fell back into place, as if it was a four piece puzzle, not the complex thousand piece jigsaw their lives really were. It’s not that the two forgot about their previous qualms, but they spent almost a month just accepting the past was in the past, taking a tip from a popular ice queen and just ‘letting it go’. Most importantly though Blaise Monroe was out of their lives, and one thousand two hundred and eighty four miles away living a poor excuse of a life in Trigger, what a wash-up.

There were some days though that Vinny wondered what would have happened if he was still in Trigger? If the couple hadn’t rekindled and moved back to NYC to share Troi’s loft apartment. Would he be on another tour? Would he just be living the same washed up life, that Blaise Monroe was currently living? Or, would Travis still be in the picture, or at least in more then---

“Watch it man!” a cab driver shouted as Vinny stepped back onto the curb, lost in his thoughts and almost catching the cab’s drivers side mirror. “Damn it” Vinny mumbled under his breathe as he regained his bearings. About Halfway through the park, he could see the back of the Metropolitan Museum of Art on his left, and knew he had to go a bit more south if he wanted to get into his neighborhood without leaving the park. Walking on the streets around the park was almost as bad as Times Square. Why people flocked to this place, not even he knew. It was a beautiful park, but there were other wonders to see in the city. That were not inhabited by homeless people pissing all around, or thirsty gays cruising the bathrooms.  Turning passed the Alice in Wonderland statue, Vinny felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and Troi’s voice enter his ears.   “Hey there handsome” Leaning back into the other man’s arms Vinny felt his cheeks rise into a smile. Turning around he placed his hands around Troi’s neck and kissed him softly, letting his short beard rub against Troi’s stubble ridden face. “How’s my boyfriend? No excuse me how’s the new Seymour Krelborn in the Little Shop Revival!“ “I’m fine! I’m fine! Still letting it all sink in!” Vinny responded to Troi’s enthusiasm with his own. “Of course you are!” “How’d you know I was here?” Vinny added as he laced his hand into his boyfriends and continued the walk towards their apartment. “ I mean I’m far from complaining at all, I just thought you were going to be at the studio for most of the night teaching” “I was talking to Rhea about finding out you got the part, and she said she’d cover my night class. Under the conditions that I take you out to celebrate.” “ I will never feel bad about getting to spend more time with you babe, but that is entirely your call.” Looking away from his boyfriend and around the street to see where they had exited the park. Stopping for the light Vinny sighed softly, inaudible to anyone but himself,  

“Of course I want to take you out tonight! Do you mind if I take a run to the gym first though?”

Almost immediately Vinny smiled at Troi and nodded his head. “Ya, totally!” Vinny added with a little too much excitement.

“Wow, someone's happy I'm not just at the studio,and actually going out of my way to put a little extra muscle on.”

Vinny couldn't help but laugh at his boyfriend's response as he reached his free hand over to jokingly feel Troi’s abs.

“Not enough yet.”

-- 5:55 PM

(718) 565-3489 : I should be there a little after seven ;)

“Vinny! Have you seen my shaker?”

Quickly locking his phone, Vinny looked up from the couch towards his boyfriend in the bathroom. “Uh, probably in the kitchen, or maybe your gym bag?” He added hopping up from his place on the couch and moving towards the window to unlock it. “Do you need a protein shake today? I mean we are going for dinner afterwards. I don't want to be the one eating a five course meal and then you have a carrot. Those days are long over.”

Emerging from the bathroom Troi was in a pair of joggers and a t-shirt, tugging on a hoodie while almost walking into their kitchen counter. “You're right I guess, I'm only gonna be gone for forty five minutes max.”

“Good! Now go! I'm hungry” Vinny shot back playfully at Troi, as he wrapped his arms around the other and kissed him softly. Biting Troi's lower lip gently, Vinny pulled away and ran his hands over Troi's abdomen once more. “I love you.”

“I love you too!” Troi added with another quick peck, as he gathered his keys and drawstring bag and headed out the door.

As soon as the door shut Vinny practically ran too it to lock both the deadbolt and chain the door, making sure there was no way of potential disruptions. From the door, he made his way to the bathroom to throw some water on his face and check his reflection. He had changed when he had gotten home, from his casual wear to his Grade-A bum attire. Sweat shorts, an oversized hoodie, and his thick framed glasses Because, contacts just hurt after a while.

Staring at himself in the mirror Vinny closed his eyes tightly and ran a hand through his messy hair. Then he heard it, a light rapping on the living room window. The window had opened as he returned to the room to see his guest finishing his window entrance. Brushing himself off and placing his bag on the floor, Vinny’s eyes trailed up the familiar body and he smiled when he reached the man’s face which was covered in shadow from his hood. Not caring about the cold breeze coming through the open window, Vinny stepped closer and placed his lips to the other man’s. Wrapping his arms around him, Vinny broke the kiss to place his head on the others shoulder. The other man did not hesitate to place his stubble ridden mouth onto Vinny’s now exposed neck, tugging lightly on the skin with his teeth. Swatting the back of the man’s head Vinny dragged them down to the couch, where he was straddled by the other male. “No marks!” Reaching around the others waistband, Vinny let his hands wander across the other’s ass and playfully squeezed. Catching the other's mouth in his own Vinny began to remove the others hoodie when --

“Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight. She is the one named Sailor Moon!”

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,” The other said un-straddling Vinny as the latter ran his hands up his face and began laughing softly. Standing up and closing the window; the other man leaned on the counter top, one arm on the counter the other rubbing his face.

Laughing still, Vinny bent down and fished out two phones from the bag by the window and brought them over too the counter. Placing his hand on the other’s neck he ran it north towards the man's hair,  and in doing so he pushed down the hood revealing Troi from the shadow.

“Babe, next time you decide to seduce me as a stranger. Turn your old phone’s ringer off ,maybe?”

Grinning at his boyfriend Troi grabbed Vinny's waist to pull him into his side, and kiss the other's forehead while on the balls of his feet. Still biting back laughter Vinny pulled Troi into his chest and kissed the top of the shorter boys head.

“Jeeze, I wish I could say this was the first time I've been cock blocked by Sailor Moon.”

“Hey, it's probably my mother trying to get a hold of you in the first place.”

“Even better! I wish I could say that this was the first time getting cock blocked by your mother.”

Picking up the iPhone in the Sailor Moon case, Vinny saw the missed call was in fact from his future mother in law, and handed the phone back to Troi; before returning to the foreign phone still on the counter.

“So this, is what's finally given you a New York area code.” “Surprise!” Troi added sarcastically as he relocated by hugging the other from behind. Vinny, while toying around with the phone, felt Troi run his hands down his sides and under his hoodie. “ I can give you the entire tour of it, after we take care of something else.” Letting,his hands lower from Vinny’s abs, Troi slipped under the waistband of Vinny’s sweatpants and began searching for his target.

“Oh really now?” Vinny said as he turned (not gracefully) to face his boyfriend, and caught Troi’s lips in his own. Running his own hands across the other’s chest, Vinny straightened himself up and walked Troi backwards to their room. Breaking the kiss, as they crossed the threshold into the dark room Vinny softly pushed Troi onto the bed, and closed the door behind him. “I mean you still need to get a workout in before dinner” “I mean I could use a protein shot.” “Oh ya? Like you needed one the other night at that shady speakeasy in Astoria?” “Hey, that dinner was painful, a little exciting sex in a seedy bathroom livened it up a bit” “God I love you..” Running his hands down Troi’s sides Vinny noticed that in the time it took him to close the door, and make the room completely black Troi had removed his shirt and hoodie. His skin warm, as Vinny felt the smaller boy quiver under his touch. Tracing designs along the other’s chest, his hands teased the soft skin of Troi’s nipples. Where he tweaked the other softly, gaining an audible gasp from the boy under his touch. ‘I thought you weren’t going to follow through with your texts when Rhea let you out early.” Leaning down towards Troi’s left nipple Vinny placed his lips and began teasing the other with his tongue and biting softly on the erect flesh. “And miss out on this? Why did you think I decided to go to the gym? Babe,” Troi gasped and tried to regain his composure. “...today is my off day. I was at the studio all morning. You’re lucky I was able to climb the fire-escape at all.” As Vinny continued to work on Troi’s nipples, and enjoyed the soft sounds of pleasure his boyfriend was making; he began to run his hands up Troi’s muscular arms. Tracing where he knew the other’s key tattoo was, and up his shoulder where his right hand gripped the soft skin that led to Troi’s neck and jawline. Reaching down past Troi’s stomach and into the other’s sweatpants, Vinny squeezed the package that was clad in only a jock-strap. Removing his hand from near Troi’s neck, Vinny leaned up and let his lips mash against Troi’s hungry mouth. Troi wrapped his legs around Vinny’s waist as his boyfriend began to give his neck the same treatment he had previously did on his nipple. Removing his hand from Troi’s sweatpants, Vinny shucked his hoodie off while Troi greedily pulled his muscular boyfriend towards him. Vinny’s skin warming the other’s cold skin under him. While their lips waged war upon each other, their bodies worked together to have Vinny grind on Troi in ways that made the smaller boy moan through their kissing. “And to think, I used to be The Screamer.” Vinny added between panting, as Troi began to suck on his shoulder while his hands need-ily pushed Vinny’s sweat-shorts down. Leaving him exposed to the room, and in position to finish the job the two had set out to do from the beginning. Troi’s sweatpants were next to go as the warmth of their skin on skin began to drive the two wild. Reaching for the lube they kept in the bedside drawer, Vinny’s length pressed up against Troi’s grundle sending the other a bit over the edge. From the touch of Vinny’s length, and the restraint of his jockstrap Troi moaned louder than before, as Vinny silenced him with his lips covering the others. Managing to open the bottle of lube with one hand, and steady Troi with the other, Vinny was about to finish his preparations when --- “Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight. She is the one named Sailor Moon!” Troi let out a groan as he heard his phone go off again, using both of his hands he grabbed Vinny’s waist and looked for the others eyes in the darkness. Feeling Vinny’s nose rub up against the bridge of his own, he looked into where the others eyes were, and pleaded with him. “Forget it, and Fuck me.” Troi all but whispered as he slid his lips once more over his boyfriends.

And Vinny did.

[inthewordsofahalfgoddes]

Free Writing

I feel sick. On friday i came home dizzy feeling like I was dead walking and passed out sleeping for most of the night into the day. I woke up sunday feeling a lot better but as i tried to eat my body was not having it. Even now I can’t stomach too much but apples and even then that is pushing it. i feel like at any second i will puke but It’s a faint sensation. I had two dreams that had me startled and put a slight cloud on my day until i forced the thoughts away. The first was strange and happened about 2 days ago. i was in an apartment listening to a friend of mine talk about his life. I was trying my best to fight trying to have sex with him and failing. even going so far as to entering the bathroom with him. ugh. i was pretty upset at myself in my dream cause I watched myself do it but in my head I was like ‘why are you doing this. don’t do it’. so anyway I have a pair of headphones on connected to like a walkkie talkie and I hear my ex’s voice on the other end. he’s talking about old money business and i click the talk end and ask him to repeat it. He is shocked and he says ‘your voice is too much right now’ and I apologize and ask him to repeat it. he starts to cry and i can hear the emotion and I look up feeling his pain. It was strange because I didn’t really care too much about the situation. I feel like I already moved on from him a long time ago and I didn’t regret my decision at all but haring the pain and emotion in his voice was too much. the dream ends and its a shallow dream so i know im near to akinng up. I carried that with me for the majority of the morning and it bothered me because i feel like i am being punnihsed for how the relationship went. I dragged it on for longer then it needed to be. wayyy longer and I still look back now and regret it but I’m learning to move past it and not dwell too much on it. I eventually was brave enough to face being alone and potentially being unloved so there is that. The other dream happened today. jesus had a weir dtanget and left a silly conversation we were having. i think he really just wanted to step away from me and i was actually pretty okay with it. I feel when we talk too much it puts a strain on our friendship. i wanna-say relationship but...I don’t like that. Inn my head im much more happy seeing it as a friendship because that means its safe. i almost don’t give myself any reason to be jealous  about others and i can give him my love in friendship and that is much more better for me. but some things he said got to me. He was talking about how dull and boring my life would be without him and at first i just joked about it but now I’m startting to see his point. Would i have been exposed to music without him? not as intense bth.My obsession with music and desire to persue it in some shape or form was inspiredby him and who he pointed out to me. I covet his songs so much. They are like staples for me and i dunno im actually listening to one of his songs now (let ‘em know by bryson tiller). So now that he has done his typical thing pretending to be upset and leaving “for couple of days” I have time to think. Its also venus retrograde whihc is like time to revisit and reassess how I see love, how i want to be loved and how I love others. also how my relationships look like and if there is a need for change. This is a simplistic view but its my understanding of it. So I know his venus is in Leo. which lmao is very fitting. hmm sometimes i wonder if I need to slow down with my thoughts of him. I am fascinated by him, pused by him, fired up by him, irritated, annoyed, and some feelings that i cant or wont name. So where does that leave me? Sometimes in my head i’ll call him allan and that makes me pause. Am i waiting for a saviour again? if i am i need to step back and realize that that only ends in pain and dissapointed hope. My last relationship i leanre da lot but it was under duress. it was painful and like forced me out of my caccoon under his hand and i felt so constrained as i tried to heal. it was too much for me and he never did understand me. Now that i’m just feeling jesus out I now see i see him as a saviour and i’m torn bewteen seeing him as one and being okay with it. is it so bad to have friends as liferafts? but at the smame time i dont think he should be treated like one :/ idk its weird though things have been feeling so surreal to me. watching my hands type and literally giving form to my words is unsettling to me. I feel like something is happening to me and i’m scared that its something bad. i don’t rmember being so sick before. in 3 years i only ever experieneced slight sniffles and here i am full blown sick and shit. i’m worried for myself and my body.I ask for michael’s healing and proetction. I am in a strange place and I wonder what will become of all of this. I feel so out of place. maybe its the books i have been reading too. When i read i somtimes carry bits of it into my life. i wake up in this world slightly disjointed and off. I finished reading parable of the talents and that left me shook. i have oto write a book review for that but ive been avoiding it for some reason? anyway I’m a lil way halfway trough lilith’s brood and I find the book fascinating and also scary in a way. i’m not scraed perse about the alients. or maybe i am idk. I’m more scared of the future where women and children will be vulnerable. why is it that males resourt to being bullies again once oscieties are gone? why sare they the most dnagerous? i mean even now they still are and its wrapped up in laws, decorms etc but in a dystopian futuere? terrifying. I couldnt be like Olomina and dress like a man because I am too fullfigured and womenly to pass. i am worried for myself. I just want to be free....i dunno what is going on with me? I ffeel like im drifting in and out of reality and things feel dreamy. I had a thought about my empathy and pisces power and like...maybe all my empathy is for books? thats when i feel so misty and out of it after reading ike my mind really led me away. im happy im reading again at least. it unsettles me that i am becoming  a women. I am entranced with myself seeing the curves, my skin and body seeing how beautiful it is but also seeing how dangerous it is to me and my life. How many times will people punish me for how i look? men mostly. and i dont mind suing what power i apparently have over them but its like i know it will be used aaginst me soon. i never feel wrong for knowing that my body is beautiful. I know it is and i know i am beautiful and a creature many may want to touch and have. I am growing into it and i feel like a flower that is maturing before peoples eyes and im afraid. i know fear is bad so let me say mor elike it unsetles me. but with chnage comes growth and i feel like because of my freeizing myself as i unthaw and turn into who i was supposed to be i am going to blossom very quick. its also weird too because as I say i want this this and this in my body over time i gain that. i was so e skinny and i wished to be thicker and now here i am getting thicker and i know if i atemore id be even thikcer and yet my stomach has not changedd and actually has remained smaller then it as before? i am also finally looking pretty. i felt like such an ugly child and now i wonder if its not that im being graced with it now but that i am seeing it in myself. i know i have eyes that can trap people. I actually look away to make them feel comfortable because if i stare too long at eople they either get caught up in my face (men especially) or they paue for a second.. idk. i feel like im changing t into something that ahs power that i am not comfortble handling;. or am i just being dramatic? the voice in my head is soft and quiet and that is the true me. I have to protect her because thhis world wants to hurt her and she is too good for it. that sounds weird.. But i know i have to keep this shell around me because peope see weakness and want to go for it/. when i gaine dback my sag and leo self i have used it like a shield against people and emotions. only a few know about my soter side/. jesus nampende and allan do. allan has used it and used it agains me to quiet myself, jesus looks down on it and i think nampende is the only one who sees it and sympathzes with it. alone i am soft and always ondering. when im with peoplei am dynamic lughing being wild and having fun. i know that that needs to be my face to protect me. these days i feel like i need to make a descion.  I dont know when and what i need to decide on but i know something will happen soon in my life. something big. idk.maybe its the new moon in virgo? or maybe its just me. im usually okay with momnets of confusion but coupled with this sickness and weird feeling im worried. i had my period so im worired im pregnant but....idk.anywasy on a more shallower side im getting my hair done and im trying to get a new phone. i know its mostyly because i wanna just fuck show people i actually am cute asf? for some reason i cna never capture how beauiful i am in pictures. maybe its the dymanicness of my face. idk i mosty want jesus to se it i think he thinks im ugy af and im like not??? if he saw me in person i dont think he would be saying and talking to me the ay he does. but i cant help things and tb its better that way. if i eve rsee him it will be a good suprise for me when i smirk at him like boyyyy you don fucked up;. anywyas im being etty and yes my exercises ha and will be fueled with this drema in mind veen tho i know it may not actually happen nor go the way i want ti to go. ughh sometimes i forget that im 23 and dont need to have it ll figured out. like thast not un expuse but i always be putting so much pressure on myself to know so much and catch up because i froze so much of myself. i know my body ma=eant well with how it chose to protect me but sis, i suffer lol.I am trying my best to just do my best. I feel tested and tested constantly but i guess with trying to be a better person and working on yourself. oh wait. PLUTO. i remmeber asking pluto a month ago to reveal all my bad shit a lotttt over the course of a month and sicne its a slow moving planet its prob now just hitting me. yikes. well if i cna make it through this then i really will be rdy for anything. so much pressure and stimulation i know i can survive but damn i need a break and shit.well i have tomorrow off so im probgonna chill and dhit. i have a meeting with some witches and other femmes in about an hour so lmao idk man im just trying my best. I hoope the universe sees that im trying because awd jesus i am. I love myself through this no matter what. the feeling that im gonna die is creeping up again its so strange i hvent felt this oh...its probably just anxiety over this sickess. ugdwheteriutuieyte45465hthrethuwt im gonna stop lol this has been too long already (peep the change in tone thast my sag self shining through)