#elm ederne

[arc-misadventures]

The Hell Jumpers Jump

Jaune when he first thoughts when he lays eyes on, Spartan Winter 303.

Jaune: I am a soldoer! I am a warrior! I will, fight, and die for my brothers, and sisters in arms!

Jaune: I am a, ODST! I am a Hell Jumper! I will jump feet first into hell!

Jaune: But, for this woman! For this epitome of a female warrior of no bounds!

Jaune: I will jump feet first into hell for this woman. And, if I die I will die with a smile on my face!

NS: …

Neptune: SIMP!

Sun: Yeah that’s really simpish of you, Jaune.

Jaune: I understand, but I counter with:

Jaune: Tall muscular warrior waifu.

Neptune: ...

Sun: ...

Neptune: Dammit.

Sun: Can't argue with that.

~~~

Elm: That’s certainly one ballsy, ODST.

Harriet: You’d probably break him if he tried anything.

Elm: And, like it.

Winter: I know I would~!

Elm: Excuse me?

Harriet: What?

[superiorsturgeon]

Pyrrha Meets Ace-Ops

RWBYJNPORQ: *being introduced to Ace-Ops in vol 7*

Ruby/Jaune/Nora: *geeking out* 🤩

Pyrrha: Hmm…I’m not so sure about-

Elm: *steps forward*

Pyrrha: 😶

Elm: 😶

Pyrrha: *steps forward and flexes her arms* 😡

Elm: 😧

Elm: 😡 *steps forward and flexes back*

Pyrrha/Elm: *flexing at each other* 😡

Ruby: …uh…what are they…

Jaune: Shhh! Let them cook! Pyrrha knows what she’s doing!

Pyrrha/Elm: 😡

Pyrrha/Elm: 🥹

Pyrrha/Elm:

Muscle Lady friendship achieved!

Ruby/Jaune/Nora: HUZZAH!!

[juanarc-thethird]

Valentine's Day letter now from Elm

Some are intimidated by her size, but after Jaune told her that big women are one of his tastes, what would she write to him? X3

Valentine's Day letters. (Elm)

Jaune: Nice, Elm sent me a Valentine's letter. Let's see what she wrote.

He opens the letter and says:

"I know I'm big, And I know you don't mind. So why don't you come here, And give Mommy a ride"

Jaune: *Red* I'm going to impregnate that woman.

[rwac96]

CEO Schnee (RWBY AU)

Weiss: "It's my greatest honor to take my mother's place as the CEO of the SDC, to continue restoring the company's good name."

Harriet: *deadpan* "Why the hell are we here with this nepobaby?"

Elm: "It was either this or look after her father's cell."

Weiss: "First order of business, get rid of any of my father's cronies, sycophants, or anybody who is scheming to discredit me."

Yang: *bored* "Uh, why are we here?"

Ruby: "Team Solidarity!"

Yang: *groans* "Gods, I wished I had gone with Blake to her island...but she's busy with being chieftain."

Ruby: "Yang, I know our friends seem busy with stuff in a now Post-Salem world, but...it hey, we're still a team."

Weiss: *holding a violet Dust vial* "Okay, I don't wanna know what my father intended to do with this! Gods, this is going to be a long first few weeks."

Atlas Aristocrat: *irate* "Miss Schnee, did I just hear about you approving equal wages for those animals?!"

Weiss: *glares* "Faunus, Karin! This isn't the SDC under Jacques Schnee, you adulterous cow! That's right...I know about you and your gardener!"

[brokentrafficknight]

I'm sorry.

Source

[howlingday]

The Worst Part of Having A Harem...

Jaune: My name... is Jaune Arc...

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Ruby: (Sleeping in the master bed)

Weiss: (Sleeping in the master bed)

Pyrrha: (Sleeping in the master bed)

Blake: (Sleeping in the master bed)

Yang: (Sleeping in the master bed)

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Jaune: I have been exiled. Banished. Ex-communicated from my friends. Forevermore doomed to wander.

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Nora: (Sleeping in the guest bed)

Velvet: (Sleeping in the guest bed)

Coco: (Sleeping in the guest bed)

Oscar: (Sleeping in the guest bed)

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Elm: (Sleeping in the lounge)

Harriet: (Sleeping in the lounge)

Winter: (Sleeping in the lounge)

Gillian: (Sleeping in the lounge)

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Whitley: (Sleeping in the dog's house, Collared and wrapped in warm blankets)

Salem: (Asleep in the bathtub)

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Ren: So that's why you left? Because you couldn't find a place to sleep?

Jaune: Yeah, harems can be like that. Be grateful you don't have a harem.

Ren: Jaune, I'm in your harem. Technically, we share the harem, just like all the others share the harem, too.

Jaune: Fair point, fair point. Counter point, I WAS sleeping in the dog house until Whitley decided he wanted to "try new things".

Ren: Did you two-

Jaune: No. He was very clear that he was only interested in sleeping like a real puppy dog. So here I am, doomed to wander.

Ren: Jaune, there's a hotel right over there. Just pay for the night and call-

Jaune: DOOMED TO WANDER!

Ren: ...Fine, I'll call them.

[thewhalelord]

RWBY Portrait requests I did on twt awhile ago

[rodanhoax]

Jaune: I'm the Hunts-Man, you lunatic. Anyway, you guys got any 'shrooms?

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Bystander: Are you... An angel!?

Jaune: Yeah, sure, whatever... You got any ketamine?

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Jaune: I know you're here, Roman, you big fucking nerd. Where's my goddamn money?

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Grunt #1: Be careful, man. I hear Hunts-Man attacks with all sorts of random bullshit.

Grunt #2: Please. I got him dead to rights. Now to-

Jaune: *Throws something* Random bullshit GO!!!

Grunt #1: Damn you Hunts-Man!

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Jaune: I am the god of light. Hand over your wallet and your ketamine or Remnant is doomed.

Marrow: Fuck off, Hunts-Man. I'm not falling for that one again.

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Jaune: ... Why do I hear Eminem all of a sudden?

Hound: *Looming over him*

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Clover: Someone's hacking the system, but who? Hunts-Man!

Jaune: Where's my goddamn money!?

Harriet: No-one here owes you money, you drunk, crazy asshole. Roman isn't even on the Ace-Ops, so stop calling here.

Jaune: Wait... Roman isn't an Ace-Op?

Jaune: That lying fuck.

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Jaune: You know who I really want to fight? Junior.

Elm: Wait, the asparagus from VeggieTales? Or the crime lord?

Jaune: ... Yes.

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Jaune: Honestly? At this point, I don't even remember why Roman owes me money. But a guy's got to live by a code, you know?

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Vine: It's over, Hunts-Man! I have the high ground!

Jaune: Impossible. Do you even know how many drugs I'm on right now?

Vine: That's not what I-

Jaune: Less talk, more VENGEANCE!!

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Nora: Dammit, Jauney, let someone else have a turn for once!

Jaune: No! Ren is my homie... Only I get to give him a goodnight kiss!

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Jaune: Using my Marine Corps training, I can turn ANYTHING into a weapon! Even this rifle!

Watts: Uh, isn't a rifle already a weapon?

Jaune: *Snaps rifle in half and smacks him across the face* Semper Fi, bitch!

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Jaune: God of Darkness, you fucking nerd! Where's my... Uhhh what are you doing?

G.o.D: Don't let her get me. I didn't mean to look at those lewd hieroglyphics! Forget if gods can bleed. Can a god simp?!

Jaune: What the fuck are you talki-

G.o.D: *Grabs him* I was horny, Jaune Arc. And now, Salem is going to quantum bonk me!

Jaune: Who is going to what now??

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Roman: *Half dead inside of grimm* What? It's impossible. It can't be... A way out! And... the Hunts-Man!?

Jaune: That's right, bitch! Now where's my goddamn money? Don't make me come down there and waterboard you, shitheel.

[smokestarrules]

hello new RWBY watchers

[madmanwonder]

Prompt

Jaune is working out with Elm and Nora... when Nora "accidentally" drops the weights close to Elm's feet. However they pretend that it did land on it just so they can pretend that Elm's feet hurts. Which means someone will need to carry her. A strong blonde man that can carry her bridal style... and to stay at her room just in case that she needs him. Best wingwoman ever.

(Romance)

Jaune was working out with Nora and Elm when…

Elm: Shit!

Jaune stopped his workout and looked over to see Elm holding her injured feet.

Jaune: *Concern* Are you alright, Elm?

Nora looked at Elm and back to Jaune.

Nora: I think you need to carry her in bridal carry and take care of her in her room specifically.

Jaune looked unsure but didn’t argue with Nora as he moved forward and lifted up the beautiful amazonian of a woman in a bridal style carry to her room in order to take care of the ace specialist…

…unaware that Nora was giving a double thumb up towards the blushing but grinning Elm.

[hadesisqueer]

[juanarc-thethird]

Jaune: I'm going to need therapy after this. It's red, big and you can make it bounce with your hand? Someone knows? *ahem* Basketball *ahem* Who said that?

Elm: *Raises her hand*

Jaune: Yes?

Elm: Is this a joke?

Jaune: I wish it was. Do you know the answer?

Elm: Yes I know, I mean, it's obvious from what you just said.

Jaune: *happy* Great, what's your answer?

Elm: My ass~

Jaune: Corre- What?! NO!! That's not the answer!

Elm: Of course it is, my ass is big, it bounces with your hand and after a while it turns red with all the spankings you give me.

Jaune: For the love of Oum, I'm going to kill myself!!! I don't even know why they paid me to do this. Is there a prize for getting me off my nerves?!

[rwac96]

Ask

Original Male Stud AU

Who has better thighs Jaune? Pyrrha or Elm?

Jaune: *blushing* "Answering such a question signs my death warrant."

Elm: *smacks Jaune in the back* "Just answer the question, Jaune."

Pyrrha: "It's fine, Jaune, it's just us here."

Jaune: *nearly trips but catches himself* "Both...both of you have nice thighs."

[brokentrafficknight]

Jaune sitting on a couch with Emerald, Ciel, Elm, Harriett, Sienna, and Arslan standing behind it for... Reasons

I'm sure you'll recognize the couch.

[howlingday]

Clover: Alright, Qrow. You're free to go.

Qrow: Hang on. I wanna finish this lobster tail and raspberry tort. (Finishes, Leaves)

Elm: Alright, kid. Time to go.

Jaune: But... But he ate my last meal.

Elm: Well, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, then you should consider yourself lucky.

Jaune: ...Are you really allowed to execute students in a military prison?

Elm: From this point on, no talking.

[renabe4life]

plant your feet and

stand up tall, o mighty elm

let branches sway and

do not fall, o mighty elm

my first piece for @rwbyprism 💚 leftover sales are live here and stock is limited!