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#elves love wine
lee-pace-yourself · 2 years
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The last photo 🤣 Poor Bard only gets a drop. Gandalf didn't get any... 🤣🤣
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Thrandy doesn't like to share....
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wineandthrandy · 1 year
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MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THRANDUIL'S TENT TO YOURS!
I don't know about all of you, but I wanna go to Thranduil's party!! Don't ask me what's going on here. I'll leave that up to all of you😂😂
Disclaimer: Please drink responsibly. Don't spill it.
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the-writing-warg · 1 year
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Obsessed with the idea of Thranduil turning up to an important event in Valinor for the first time looking like this
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With most of the first age elves having a breakdown.
And the looks of complete adoration from elfings as he let's them add flowers and leaves, and let's them braid them into his hair
(He also struts up to whoever is ruling valinor at the time, wine glass held loosely in his hands and declares that he is thranduil and he speaks for the trees)
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Behold: The Wine Incident.
Basically, the twins wagered that they could outdrink Legolas.
They were wrong.
Arwen and Legolas split the winning.
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(Sorry it’s a bit blurry. I lost interest near the end and have no energy to fix it.)
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thevalleyisjolly · 5 months
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Dark haired Legolas is something that can be so personal, actually.
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iwannabeanelfyaknow · 2 years
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Thranduil and the babies of woodland realm
(Head canon collection)
Thranduil would let baby Legolas sit on his lap while having a council meeting and Legolas would sometimes fall asleep on his Ada's lap.
Thranduil has a private garden where he'd sit on a tree branch and watch baby Legolas and baby Tauriel play.
Baby Legolas would sometimes "decorate" his Ada's robes.
Thranduil sings the babies to sleep.
Thranduil let baby Legolas choose materials for his crown.
Baby Tauriel would sometimes call Thranduil "Ada" unconsciously and Thranduil likes it.
Once, baby Legolas accidentally drank his Ada's "beverage" and it almost gave Thranduil a heart attack. So he banned Legolas from drinking.
Thranduil personally braids Legolas's hair.
Thranduil drown himself in wine for a whole week because baby Legolas said "I like Elrond better."
That is. That's everything for now. Ha!
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I wanna be his baby TvT
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING. 🥂🍷
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stellaluna33 · 6 months
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I love Peter Jackson's LOTR movies as much as anyone, but sometimes I resent them for perpetuating this stereotype that the Elves are always aloof and overly-serious and serene and kind of cold, and eat nothing but dainty cakes and salad and Lembas bread... when Tolkien's Elves are actually just so fiercely ALIVE, and love to sing and laugh and dance, and love telling and hearing stories and making music and feasting on good food and drinking good wine and even throwing raging parties. Like, yes, they can be ethereal and otherworldly and all that, but I feel like PJ kind of misses their fierce joy.
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toskarin · 3 months
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I love how the one ring doesn't understand modest wishes because it never really needed to. it can't comprehend what smallfolk actually want because it wasn't designed to trick people like that
it tempts elves and other immortals with promises of things that make sense in the scope of their lives, but it tempts mortals by promising that they can touch the scope of an immortal's life. if you need a garden, it promises you a kingdom. if you need someone to carry you, it promises you an army. it can't even think to promise you anything less than absolute indulgence and excess. if you asked for a cup of wine, it would promise to drown you in a sea of it
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greycaelum · 5 months
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Ok im gonna drop this here for u to write it whenever u want,cause its been hunting me
Royalty au where gojo and reader are living happily,that is until someone poisons his queen when they're having dinner together.
She drinks the wine,and suddenly falls to the ground while throwing up blood and blood running from her eyes. Shoko manages to save her and geto holds gojo back so he doesnt do anything stupid. But when his queen wakes up she's really weak so shoko tells gojo about a flower that'll heal her up,so gojo leaves in order to search for it.
But when he's back,geto leads him to the flower garden the queen loves and he finds her among the flowers,a little better and seeing her not on deadbed has him running toward her,lifting her up and spinning while both of them laugh and kiss
Happy ending
Scribbles & Doodles—Lotus Tears
—Elven Emperor Gojo Satoru X Human Empress Reader
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𑁍 Synopsis:
His azure orbs stare as you reach to cup his cheeks with a slight understanding frown painting your brows. It doesn't help that you are wearing the other pair of purple robes. It made his belly warm, and his chest swelled with pride. You are pairing... He was the only one who could wear the purple robes since he was born, a lone star, but not anymore. And that was enough to make his heart skip a beat. "Will you be back for dinner?" Your tone carried hope and joy into his day. He doesn't understand why he has to part with you every day... He heaved a sigh hoping the day turns to dusk soon so he can hold you again to his heart's content. "For you, always, My Flower."
𑁍 Genre: historical fantasy, elves/faes, dark magic if you squint, interracial marriage
𑁍 WC/CW/TW: (4.3k)— poison, mad Satoru, elven traditions and cultures, fluff, angst, comfort, implication of major character death, mating bonds, talks of rebirth
𑁍 ✒️☕: Hi to the person who sent this ask. Pardon the very long wait, but I loved writing this one, I just need to say your ask is one of my fave ideas for elf Satoru so I tweaked some things, fantasy tropes are my favorite to write to escape canon~ Grey,
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At night when you lay in their bed, your head atop his chest, he cannot sleep a wink for he has forever to spare and only a lifetime with you in his arms. For such a fragile flower, even a man who has grown bleak and untouched over the long passage of time, Satoru cannot help but stroke your head gently, scaring the pixies who would try to sneak in to soak with his mate's presence. He doesn't know if it's a good thing or bad that his mate is loved by the small faes. But one thing is for sure, he doesn't delight that they are trying to pry you awake from his arms. It's no secret he doesn't like sharing... especially when it's about you.
For a human to become the Empress of the High Courts is an unheard thing. Improbable would be the word. And you do not need to know what methods Satoru used to make this happen. Because you already knew that behind his delicate beauty, lies the prickly thorns that wield the absolute power over nature. There is a reason why he was able to rule undisputedly in the indifferent flow of nature over the passage of time.
When he married you, he knew he would uproot the earth and supplant it again and again to give whatever you desired. He is the supreme ruler and Emperor of the High Courts and would only sheath his indifference in the presence of his Empress. He has broken down the millennial walls covering his heart and found himself enthralled by the maiden who never feared the Dark Woods. She found beauty in the mystery of the borders, and he found solace in her presence. She has grown to be his beloved Flower.
Fortunately for you, even as a born human, you have adapted to the faes far quicker. Learning their language and making up for your lack of magic, you learned diplomacy. It was not easy to learn such an intricate affair, but fortune has smiled upon you, with Satoru, who has boundless knowledge of the matter to be your tutor.
"Is this adequate enough?" Satoru hopefully looked at you in the mirror and the craft he had finished for a satisfactory answer.
"Satoru, we are not going to any gathering, are we?" You chuckled as you sat in front of the golden mirror while Satoru stood behind, holding an ivory comb in his hand as he carefully brushed your silky tresses. Small flowers adorned your hair like trinkets as he wove them skillfully into a braid. At this point, your handmaidens have lost their job, with your mate attending to almost everything you need unless he is away for the court.
"At least let me do this before I leave for my duties." He brought the tip of your hair to his lips, kissing it as he stared at you, a longing look on his face. This prompt you to turn the chair and face the elven emperor.
His azure orbs stare as you reach to cup his cheeks with a slight understanding frown painting your brows. It doesn't help that you are wearing the other pair of purple robes. It made his belly warm, and his chest swelled with pride. You are pairing... He was the only one who could wear the purple robes since he was born, a lone star, but not anymore. And that was enough to make his heart skip a beat.
"Will you be back for dinner?" Your tone carried hope and joy into his day.
He doesn't understand why he has to part with you every day... He heaved a sigh hoping the day turns to dusk soon so he can hold you again to his heart's content.
"For you, always, My Flower." Satoru tilted your chin and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "I do not wish to leave." He grumbled and connected your forehead, staring right into your eyes.
Your soft chuckle fluttered through his ears as you reached to cup his cheeks and stare into his eyes. A sense of tranquility floated in your orbs bringing his heart into a puddle of cotton.
"I will wait for you at dinner, Satoru. So the earlier you finish the earlier we see each other. Alright?"
"Alright, as you wish." Satoru sighed and kissed the tip of your nose. "The things you make me do..."
He never thought he would one day sit under the shade of foliage with his Empress on his lap, reading through some parchments while he pilfered some wildflowers to braid her hair. Or to walk while gently pulling the reins of his equine, leading the elk through safe passages whilst you ride on the back. Things he never imagined and things he never thought he would do. But the second you came it all seemed natural for him to indulge you in every way possible.
You are like a brittle glass flower to him that he cannot help but wrap you in the most flawless silks and softest ermine furs. You evoke in him a firm sense of fierce protectiveness.
So imagine the horror and derangement inside him when you were still smiling and talking with him at the dinner table but suddenly blood flowed down your nose, followed by a series of coughs drawing blood from your throat as you dropped to the floor, desperately gasping for air.
If it wasn't for his friend Suguru, a Dragon Lord who he has grown with, who happened to visit the very same day only to pin him down in his rampage of killing the perpetrators hiding in the imperial kitchen staff, perhaps one-fourth of the castle must've already been slaughtered.
All he could see was red. The burning flames consuming the imperial castle and the wilting forest mirrored the despair in his heart. He couldn't hear that his people were wailing for him. All he could ever see was his mate dying each second from the potent poison coursing in her bloodstream.
"Don't touch her!"
He snarled with pure frenzy when Shoko tried to reach out to your unmoving body in his arms.
"Satoru, Shoko is only going to heal her. Your mate needs help." Suguru tried to reason with the livid, elven emperor cradling the unmoving body of his bleeding empress. "She would not do anything to her, only help her."
Suguru could see how unfocused and distraught the dark blue eyes of his friend were, so far from his usual calm and regal sense. Satoru's eyes were bloodshot red. Thankfully, he didn't move when Shoko reached out again to heal his mate. 
A faint color of life returned to your face, but you were still as pale as alabaster, still unconscious. The fire consuming the woods slowly died down... A slight sense of sanity returned to Satoru, who held you close, ready to hide you from the world if not for Shoko's words.
"She's in moratorium state... I've only managed to stabilize her body and freeze the poison to stop it from spreading further. Right now, we need to find an antidote... Or else she will only have seven days to live. For now, let's take the Empress to a safe place." Shoko pinched the bridge of her nose as she looked back to the fire slowly dying down, leaving shared trees and ashes. "And fix the chaos you have ignited, Your Majesty, the Emperor."
There are, but severely few times he let his emotions overcome him. He could count it in his hand. But ever since that sight of your throwing up blood, Satoru experienced a myriad of emotions he thought he was never capable of.
Fear... Despair... Uselessness... and most of all heartbreak...
You don't know how many millions of times his soul has shattered in every second he held your cold hand whilst he channeled all healing spell he knows into your body as you sleep on the cradle of the sacred tree cushioned by wildflowers and vines dangling down the archaic branches of the colossal wood. It seems you're merely asleep, but it feels like it's been forever since he last saw your eyes. The reality is that day by day, you are losing your life while all he can do is sit here, rooted in place, too afraid that if he steps away, he might not see you again.
"Your Majesty..." Shoko came forward. The Emperor has been sitting here for three days straight beside his dying mate in silence holding her hand, unmoving, and would attack anyone who dares to step one foot closer to the lying Empress. The court matters have been neglected, with only the elders holding the court together in his absence. The woodlands are closely related to the essence of the Emperor. The depression of his heart manifested in the woods, which gradually lost the green leaves and were replaced by withered branches...
"I have found a possible cure for the Empress."
Shoko had never felt strong empathy, but she did feel a bit of ache for her friend when he raised his head at her, almost pleading with his bloodshot eyes.
"Speak."
"Do you remember the Sacred Tombs of Tvar?"
The sacred burial grounds of the late Empresses. It's deep-seated in the heart of the Mountain of Hanging Tombs, guarded by the mythical beasts his forefathers have created to protect the resting place of the late Imperial Rulers.
"What about it?" Satoru has only been there once when his Imperial Father has taken him to visit his late Mother. It's a mystical mountain filled with ancient elements, from the creatures to the plants, that can only be heard in folklore.
"For high faes like us, the poison the Empress has induced was nothing serious. But to humans, it is lethal." Shoko sighed. "The spell I cast was only a valve to keep the poison at bay until we can find an antidote. On the seventh day, when the sun rises, the spell will cease to exist, and the poison will corrode her bo—"
"Tell me, what should I do? Anything Shoko. I would kill if I had to." The bones on his knuckles protruded with his clenched fists. The Emperor cut her off. He would not hear her say such ominous words about his mate's life.
He would uproot the earth to find anything that can cure you. Anything.
"Killing might be going too far, but it's not impossible." Shoko took out from her robe a parchment containing a sketch of what seemed like a flower and handed it to her Emperor. She never slept over the three days in a desperate search for any cure. "There's a flower that can only be seen in the Sacred Tombs of Tvar that may be able to save the Empress. As we all know, only the direct descendant of the Imperial Family can enter the Mountain of Hanging Tombs."
The Mountain of Hanging Tombs is as ominous as the name implies. It's a mountain range covered with black mist and ferocious mythical animals and exotic plants. It's not that only the direct descendants of the Imperial Elven Bloodline can enter the mountains, but the lower beasts residing on the foot of the mountains refrain from attacking an imperial descendant since they are born from the first Emperor's blood as well. No ordinary fae can survive these mythical beasts, and could only result in death. Thus, it has become known not to venture deep into the mountains.
Satoru, however, wasted no time to cross the valleys leading to the burial grounds. He needs to find that flower.
Lotus Tears...
It is said that the flower can heal any illness. However, it's impossible to scour for the elusive flower, which roots deep only in the burial grounds of the Empresses and leave unscathed from the toxic plants and mythical animals on top of the Mountain of Hanging Tombs that will attack him at any given second.
"Why do you always put the flower on my left ear? I'm not yet married." You asked him during one of the days he stayed longer to watch over you as you searched for some wild, beautiful flowers in the woods.
Satoru stared at the magenta lilacs he conjured from his hands and tucked them into your left ear.
"You look beautiful in any shade of purple..." It matches the color of his robe.
You pursed your lips and huffed clearly not satisfied by his vague answer.
"You didn't answer my question, Satoru."
He chuckled at your angry face, bopping your nose, making you annoyed as you tried to punch him clumsily. The little girl still has the same pout even as she bloomed into a prim and proper lady. It was too adorable even to be called 'angry.' He jumps down the tree and walks up to you, bringing the tip of your hair to his lips for a soft parting salutation.
"Next time... I will tell you, My Precious Flower." With that, he took you to the borders of the human village and the dark woods, as your Mother was already looking for you. He watches you run into the light while slowly walking back into the shadows.
Maybe... He should have never forced this fate on you. You may have called on him in desperation to flee from the humans chasing after you, but he, being the one who knew better, should have returned you to your realm rather than letting his selfishness devour him and claim you as his mate. If he had done so, then you wouldn't have met this predicament.
You wouldn't have been lying in your blood, cold like a corpse...
"Where is she?" Satoru's heart felt like it was dying when he saw that your body was gone from the bed of the sacred tree. "Where is my mate?! Shoko!"
Did he lose you? Did he come too late?
He stared at the blue lotus he so carefully dug out of the perilous mountain despite the throbbing pain on his shoulders after a chimera managed to bite him before he could slay it.
No, you cannot leave him like this... Oxygen left his lungs, and his feet staggered, unable to support the weight of heaven, crushing his soul. His vision is going black, not like this. He barely got to dote on you. Barely got to drown you with the love he has secretly hidden all these years. No, no, no. Satoru's throat ran dry. He wants to scream as if the tearing of his heart wasn't enough to shout his despair.
The forest closely linked to his essence slowly wilted as if joining their Emperor in his mourning. The leaves slowly dried up. The flowers closed, and the vines started shrinking to twigs. His sorrow is mirrored by nature.
His mind went black, his heart slowly crumbled in every passing second that his eyes could not see you. Why did the gods despise him to tear apart the only joy he has ever touched for what seems like an eternity?
"Satoru!" Suguru found him in haste after the forest slowly grew darker and darker.
Who knew that his apathetic friend could have this vast amount of emotions to turn the lush evergreen forest into a barren land? Suguru wasted no time to drag what seemed to be a lifeless Satoru into a maze-like garden.
Shoko was there. She immediately snatched the mystical lotus from the Emperor. Satoru could care. All things pale in comparison to his mate... All things. He dropped to his knees, holding onto your hand.
"Y-Y/n?" Satoru's throat was parched as he saw your sleeping body, with the wilting grass around, as if you were truly taken away into the underworld... This was your favorite garden... All flowers in here, he has grown with his own hands. Not it seems like he has planted those flowers only to send you off to the afterlife. "No, you can't do this to me, My Flower... I would lose my mind." He muttered like a madman, bringing your cold hands to rub against his cheeks, desperately searching for any signs of warmth but finding nothing...
Suguru tried to pry him away from your frail body, but his malevolence met those who tried to separate you from him until the Dragon Lord had no choice but to use all means to knock Satoru out...
The last thing he saw was your sleeping face as he desperately begged his eyes not to close... He needs to see you, to be beside you... to hold you...
"Satoru...?" You were both sitting under the shade of a magnolia tree with his head on your lap, eyes closed from the glaring sun, meanwhile, you intertwined his lustrous hair into a loose braid, tucking little flowers in your masterpiece.
"Hmm?" It was one of the days when he had enough time to traverse the hills with you and meet other fae tribes so you may have time away from the Imperial Courts.
"Promise me that if the memories we have together start to hurt... you will forget me."
His eyes opened in a split second, and he looked back with furrowed brows only to meet your small smile.
"That is nonsense. I would never wish to forget you. You are my mate." Satoru sat straight and took your hand in his. "What led you to this ominous thought, My Flower? Do not think of such things, we are bonded for eternity."
You gently shake your head.
"You're an elf... I'm a human. Our life span runs differently. Some day... You will have to remember me longer than you have held me..." The bitterness of your eyes was quickly concealed as you closed them. "That's simply the order of nature..."
Satoru was tongue-tied... He cannot face that reality yet... Not yet... If ever the Lady of Light is listening to him, he prays that the sun and moon slow down... Forever never seems to be enough...
Forever will never be enough...
"Satoru...?" 
He wishes never to wake up. If you're not in the world he opens his eyes to, he may as well live in this fantasy. He has lived such a long time in solitude. So even if it's just a fragment of imagination or make-believe, he would choose that sweet lie rather than face the cold reality you're gone...
"Satoru..."
Your voice... It's sweeter than the sirens and softer than the small faes singing with the birds in early dawn...
A soft touch brushed off the fringes on his temples, shielding his eyes from the blinding sun. Unable to bear the brightness, his eyes opened and looked up to the blue sky...
Slowly, his blurry eyes met your worried ones as you tucked your hair behind your ear while staring at him with his head laying on your lap.
"You're finally awake... Thank goodness!" You sighed and smiled. "Welcome home, Satoru..."
Your hair... It's not the same color as it was... It shone a bright silver like his under the sunlight, which only the imperial descendants can inherit... But he knew it was you... His soul tells him so.
"Y-Y/n?" He reaches out to touch your cheeks that have grown prominent... more elf-like... "This isn't a dream?"
Your sweet chuckle filled his ears as your warm palms held his and pressed it to your cheeks, kissing his wrist.
"I must've worried you so... I'm sorry, but I'm fine now... because of you."
You're really warm... So warm, you melted the millennial thorny wall he built around his heart. Your palms are so dainty compared to him, but they have always been able to soothe him more than anything else.
"You... You look like me..." Satoru slowly sat up as he took in your features. "My Flower... you look like a fae..." Satoru is a bit confused about the sudden transformation. You look just as you are, but the silver hair, pointy ears, and sharper features... 
"It must've been because of the flower's healing attributes," Shoko explained, taking a step forward to assess the changes on you, who indeed looks like an elf now. 
"Explain, Shoko." Satoru looked at the woman as he was adamant about answers.
"The flowers had healing attributes; it's just a speculation, but aside from healing, we all know that lotus also signifies rebirth. The flower may have deemed it necessary to change the human blood running in the Empress's veins into elven blood for her to heal from the poison fully... As for the silver hair, I can only think that since the Lotus Tears came from the sacred buriel grounds of the late Empresses, it must have absorbed most of their remaining energy and passed it on to the Empress through the flower's healing attributes..."
"Does that mean my Mate is now an elf?" Satoru cannot believe how these events have turned out for you and him. He took your hand and studied your features... You are still you, but indeed, there swirls a more mystical air around you, and only a faint scent of human blood is left lingering in you.
"The Empress is not yet fully an elf at the moment, but I am sure before the fortnight ends, her transformation will be complete, and she will truly be a full-fledged fae, like us." Shoko nodded.
You stared at Satoru... The once wilting forest which you woke up to slowly regained life.
For a man so stoic, he is an open book... You can't help but chuckle as the smaller faes slowly creep out of their homes and rejoice at the blossoming life enveloping the woods again. Shoko and Suguru have left, leaving you and your mate some privacy in the garden.
"I..." Satoru cannot confess enough what he had done out of rage and sorrow when he thought you were gone.
"I know..." You shake your head telling him to speak no more as you took him in your arms... This time, you could feel him ever closer, hear his thoughts louder, and see him clearer. Everything he has done and he has said, you knew and felt in each passing second... But no words were uttered, as you can feel the remorse coursing in his being. What he needs the most is your embrace...
Nature can renew itself as long as it is given care and time...
The trees are once again full of luscious foliage, the grass is back to its evergreen hue, and the different faes have returned to their homes and gone through their duties as usual. Satoru is somehow a bit busier with the court matters, while you, the Empress, needed a little more recuperation before you come back to your court duties.
"Your Majesty... We always knew you smelled sweet even before you became like us."
The smaller sprites sat on your finger as they flapped around you, more drawn than ever. It seems that your new form has made you more captivating to their instincts, just like how they are drawn to the presence of their Emperor.
"Really? Though, I know you just want more sugary treats." You played with their cheeks until they perked up and bowed to someone. "See you tomorrow, Your Majesty!"
You didn't have to guess who made the little sprites flee in haste.
You turned around, and sure enough, you were swept off your feet as a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground. His sweet sandalwood scent filled your senses, soothing your racing heart.
"I missed you, My Flower... What did my mate get for me?" Satoru looked at the basket you're holding, filled with several flowers from the garden he built for you.
"It's nothing much... It's too loose to be called a crown." You showed him the crown you clumsily made with some lilacs. But Satoru guided your hand to put it on his head, indulging you with anything. You have now fully turned into an elf. Bright silver hair, lucid eyes, and the sweet scent of jasmine and orchid around you with the purple robes that only the Imperial Rulers can wear. Anyone who sees you will immediately recognize you as an Imperial Fae and their Empress.
"I would take anything you offer me, Y/n." Satoru softly kissed her forehead... his lips slowly kissed his way down your nose until he found your lips. "Can I ask for a kiss?"
"What if I say my kisses are not offered?" You raised a brow.
Satoru merely shrugged it off with a smirk.
"I'm pretty sure you can make exceptions for your husband, no?" Satoru chuckled. "Can I have my kiss now?"
Your sweet smile and soft giggle drowned in as he captured your lips for a gentle but passionate kiss.
If the lotus has tears, he will shed it only and only for you...
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—GreyCaelum
PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME
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lee-pace-yourself · 1 year
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Ch. 1 - The Party's Just Beginning. - "Bard. You get one sip as Dorwinion wine will knock you on your ass."
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"But I want more King Thranduil. I am the captain of the archers. Strong and resilient like my beautiful bow."
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"I am sure you are. But....."
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"But...pleeeease?" Bard says with puppy eyes. Thranduil hates puppy eyes and gives in.
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"Bard no. Do not do it. You will feel weird tingling in your fingers and see little hobbit folk." Legolas warns.
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Bard does not heed the Prince's warning and takes another sip. "My Lord Thranduil. Look. I am dancing with a hobbit named Bilbo." Thranduil laughs as there is no one there and feels quite embarrassed.
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Gandalf watched the madness before his eyes and decided he wanted some madness too. "Thranduil, this is madness! Why have you not offered me any of this magical fruity liquid?"
""If you even breathe it, it will stop your ticker where you stand. You can clearly see what it has done to the young bowman." Thranduil replied.
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"With that said..." The Elvenking continued to Gandalf the Grey.
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It then appeared that the King of Mirkwood also had a bit too much magical juice. "Look what it has done to you as well Thranduil." Gandalf chuckled.
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Gandalf snuck a glass as the King turned away after his bickering. Thranduil was right. The smell alone made the wizard all up in his feels and could not even drink it.
Thranduil saw what he did and was pissed.
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He took Gandalf's glass and said...."You started this Mithrandir, you will forgive me if I finish it..."
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and then the three drunken musketeers all went outside and just stared at the world while Gandalf babbled. The end...
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I WAS BORED OK??? lol.
More snark-tales coming on my new blog Snark-tales of the Elvenking come follow!!
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wineandthrandy · 1 year
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Thrandy is sooooo bad. 🤣🍷🥂
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Craig Parker - Magic Con 2022
OMG I JUST LOVE HIM..........A slide of his pets!!! and his art with funny stories!!! 😊💘
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fizzyxcustard · 10 months
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Those Hands.
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Masterlist of fan fiction
Fandom: The Hobbit
Pairings: Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Insecurity, comparison, angst, sexual references, mutual pining, idiots in love.
Comments/Notes: From the imagine, "Imagine that Thorin is in love with you (from the race of Men) but constantly compares his body and features with other men, thinking you find him disgusting." Requested by multiple readers and anons. (THANK YOU!)
I hope you like the fic. As always, like, reblog and comment if you enjoy. If you wish to be added to any of my tag lists, let me know.
Thorin watched every little interaction that you had with other males, whether they be Dwarves, Men or Elves. He couldn’t help but watch you blush, avert eye contact and use self-soothing gestures, such as touching your face, curling your hair with your fingers, or rubbing your upper arms. 
Since Thorin had been crowned King of Erebor, and re-building was underway, many people visited the mountain. Bard came from Esgaroth, often meeting with Thorin in council, to discuss trade deals and assistance in building. Much to Thorin’s distain, Thranduil of the Woodland Realm, also came. Again, he joined the council to converse around the subject of trade deals in precious metals and gemstones.  
Your relationship with Thorin was entirely built on trust. The two of you had been companions out on the road during the quest to re-take Erebor. He had always valued your opinion, spoke with you in private, and kept you close to him on his council of advisors. Erebor was now your home, despite you being of the race of Men. Your family were all gone, meaning that the Dwarves had now taken that place, welcoming you into the fold and treating you as one of their own. 
One morning, council was busy. Neldra, one of the kitchen staff, was on hand with jugs of cold drinks and pots of tea. Then once all the drinks were laid out neatly on intricately laced doilies, she came back with a trolley of fresh pastries. 
The smell was divine; you took an inhale and let the scent overtake you. Apple and cinnamon were among the selection: your favourite. 
You reached out to take one of the pastries, only to feel another hand graze yours. “I apologise,” a voice came, from the direction of the hand. 
It was Bard, from two seats down to your right hand side, who had stretched across to grab one of Neldra’s famous delicacies. “It was no bother,” you replied. “You first.” 
“Ladies first. I insist.” 
Thorin’s blue eyes studied the scene going on before him. No one else had noticed the exchange between you and Bard. Upon the impact of yours and Bard’s hands, Thorin felt a jolt in his chest. It rose up into his throat, and he closed his eyes for a brief second. The red hot sensation bore into him, feeling as if it were forming a hole straight through him. Upon opening his eyes, Thorin looked at his hands, then glanced across to Bard’s. The man’s hands were broad, but his fingers long and slender. Very much unlike Thorin’s. The Dwarf King’s fingers were short and bulky, with stubby ends. Surely Bard’s hands would have the dexterity and skill to caress your skin, drawing shivers from you. A Dwarf’s hands would be too calloused and thick to evoke any kind of pleasurable sensation upon a woman from the race of Men. 
Chatter continued, along with eating and drinking. In that time, Thorin tried his hardest to push the negative thoughts from his mind, and concentrate on the conversation at hand, which involved the realms of Erebor and Esgaroth exchanging skilled workers and apprentices. 
Thranduil was also present and merely rolled his eyes as the conversation got underway between Bard and Thorin. The Elven King did not like to waste his time, and being in this council meant that there were stints of time where his input was not needed. 
“Would you like another drink?” you asked Thranduil, picking up the nearest china pot of tea. 
“I would much prefer wine, but since I’m not within my realm, I would not say no.”
Thorin’s gaze darted over to Thranduil, and then to you. He saw you brush a piece of hair behind your ear, and then look up at the Elven King sat opposite you. Your ears were small, with one golden hoop earring in each lobe. Then Thorin looked at Thranduil’s ears; pointed at the tip, finely structured. They weren’t big, round and sticking out. Thorin’s ears were ugly, and thankfully he could keep them hidden under his long hair. Secretly, he had always imagined you whispering against them, your lips brushing them. It made Thorin shiver. 
Once council had concluded, Thorin left the chamber and headed back to the royal wing. Once inside and he stood in front of his full length dress mirror, staring at the protruding ears on the side of his head. Then he studied his large hands, thinking back to Bard’s. 
The males from the races of Men and Elves made you blush in a way that Thorin never had. Their bodies were more finely crafted, which complemented yours. They had finer features with smaller noses and brows. 
Thorin shifted back and sat on his bed, his hands in his lap. He took one more glance at them, feeling disgusted at what he saw. They would never be good enough for you. None of his body would ever be good enough for you. Everything about him was oversized, not delicate and handsome like Bard and Thranduil. Both of them had lost their wives, and may have wished to re-marry, so they would make better husbands for you. 
***
The following day and Thorin was sat in the council room, signing documents. His quill scratched loudly against the parchment. 
You walked in, holding a further stack of documents in your hands. “These should be the last ones,” you said, offering a smile. 
Thorin looked up at you. No blush on your face to be seen. 
“Is everything alright?” you asked. There was something in his eyes, a thoughtfulness. Maybe even a sadness. You sat down in an empty seat next to Thorin. “What’s wrong?” On impulse, you placed your hand on top of his. 
Thorin looked at your hands, watching your thumb gently caress his knuckle. How huge his hand looked against yours. But how right it felt, as if the size did not matter, and they were still able to fit together as one. 
“There is nothing wrong,” Thorin said, forcing a weak smile. “I hear that Bard is leaving this afternoon. Will you not be wishing him farewell?” 
“I barely know him,” you replied. “I’d feel it strange to do so.” 
“Would you wish to get to know him?” 
“I don’t know. Why do you ask?”
“Surely you find him handsome,” Thorin continued, pulling the new stack of documents over towards him. 
“Not really. Can’t say I do. There’s some reason to you asking this, Thorin.” 
“Why would I have any reason?” 
“There’s always a reason to anything that you ask. I know you enough by now. Talk to me. You’ve always given me more trust than I deserve, and never questioned me liked this before.” 
Thorin took a deep inhale and looked at you, dropping his quill. “Who do you find handsome? If not Bard, maybe Thranduil?” 
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Why ever would you think I’m attracted to King Thranduil?” The whole idea was so comical that you couldn’t help but keep giggling. “It takes….” You couldn’t stop the giggling. “A special….kind of woman….to…..” 
Thorin also began to chuckle, watching your face turn red in amusement and delight. His heart somehow felt lighter as he watched you, and that overwhelming love for you rose. It was a love that would allow him to do anything to make you happy. It was a love that would make him sacrifice his very life to keep you safe. It was sacrificial and unconditional. 
You could see the glow in Thorin’s eyes and the smile which curled his lips upwards. He was the one you found handsome, above all others. The intensity in his eyes made butterflies swarm in your stomach. His proud presence caused you to shiver whenever he entered a room. His voice was enough to make your imaginations travel to another place where only the two of you were, locked away in comfort, pursuing wondrous pleasure. 
You edged closer to Thorin. “You said you want to know who I find handsome?” 
Thorin’s heart was hammering now and he was sure that you would be able to hear it. 
“It’s you.” Your voice was a whisper. “It’s always been you. How could it not be you? Why would you ever think I’d be attracted to Bard and Thranduil?” 
Thorin closed his eyes in embarrassment. “My features and body are not like theirs.” 
“So why would that not make you handsome?” 
“My hands…” 
“Your hands?” you giggled. This time a blush did hit your cheeks, and it was even more vivid than it had ever been when in the company of any other man. “You have found out my secret.” 
“What secret?” Thorin asked, shifting ever so slightly closer to you. He had never wanted you any more than he did in those moments. The very thought that it was him that you found handsome was making his whole being rise, but anticipation was now racing down his spine in shivers. 
“I have had a fantasy for some time now, since meeting you, of what you could do to me with those hands,” you said, biting your lip. 
Thorin couldn’t hold back any more and moved even closer to you, his hand cupping your cheek. His breath was elevated and his eyes were sparkling with so much joy, but slight fear. 
His lips crashed against yours and you both groaned upon impact. Within seconds and the kiss had grown deep, your tongues both meeting. You couldn’t help but whimper as Thorin’s lips left yours and trailed down your neck. His beard tickled your skin and then as he grew more impatient, you could feel the tickle become a bristling, sharp sensation. Your hands became lost in his hair as he nuzzled at your neck, groaning and grunting. 
Thorin felt your fingertips brush over his ears, and it drew an overwhelming shiver from his very core. 
“I love you, Thorin,” you said again. “Now show me what you can do with those hands.” 
***
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sof1shticated · 5 months
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a very rookie year secret santa [op81]
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A/N: my first oscar piastri fic alert !!! i am so excited to see oscar's first grid does secret Santa and quite frankly, this is exactly how i think he'd react to it. this is for my agenda of Oscar Piastri would take everything so seriously and I love him so much for it. as usual, let me know what you think!! Formula One Masterlist: HERE words: 1.4k warnings: nothing, pure and tooth-rotting fluff
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“I’m just not sure what I’m supposed to get a guy who I don't know know that much about,” Oscar Piastri sighed, running a hand through his hair as he and (Y/n) walked around a mall the week before the Las Vegas Grand Prix. 
“Well, it’s only supposed to be for fun, Osc,” She reassured him, eyeing a shoe store as they walked by.
“Last year someone, I think it was Alex, got him beard stuff and other funny things from the season, but I obviously want to do something different, you know I don’t want to just copy what other people did. Like I said I don’t know him well enough to get him a funny ha-ha gift, so I’d like for it to be good. If it was for Logan, or Lando, or Zhou I'd be able to get something funny but K-Mag I just don't know,” Oscar ranted.
(Y/n) laughed softly at him. Oscar had always taken things very seriously, it’s what made him a great driver from the start. It wasn’t hard for that to melt into anything F1-related, even something as silly as buying a gift for Kevin Magnussen for this year's F1 Grid does Secret Santa.
“It’s only November, I’m not even in Christmas mode yet!” He joked.
“Well, you’d better switch right now, babe. Christmas mode is a state of mind.”
Oscar scrunched up his face a bit and lifted both hands as if to focus intensely. It made (Y/n) giggle again which ruined the poker face he tried on when his lips quirked up happily at her reaction.
“Santa, Reindeer, Elves, Toys… toys, Kevin’s got kids, we can work with that,” Oscar said, nodding and looking around. 
“See, Christmas mode is already working, and there’s supposed to be a little hint right, so he can try and guess that it was you who gave it to him?” She asked, smiling to herself as he lit up a little bit. 
Since you knew studious Oscar who looked to impress even in the most mundane ways, you suggested watching the previous F1 Grid does Secret Santa, so you’d both be on your way to experts even though it was his first year competing. 
“Australia-related things I guess? I don’t really have any inside jokes with K-Mag yet,” Oscar shrugged. 
“Only time will tell,” She looked at him, “Could do toys for the kids and wine for the parents?” 
“No, yeah that could work,” Oscar nodded and then clapped his hands together, before grabbing her dangling hand, “And here’s a toy shop now, just when we need it.”
Oscar pulled her gently towards the colourful entrance and they entered the shop. 
“Gosh, kids' toys have gotten so much cooler since we grew up,” She stared around, pointing at the doll section with more accessories than she could've imagined.
“I’ve had an idea, if we can find them,” Oscar said. she could almost see the gears working in his head as his vision came to life. 
The pair of them walked through the store, (Y/n) gawked at some of the cooler things until they got to the back wall, which was covered from top to bottom with a zoo of stuffed animals. 
“Now, where do you think they’ll be?” Oscar scanned the tall wall that didn’t seem to be organized in any particular way.
“Would help if I knew what we were looking for?” She asked, mimicking him and looking for a hint of what he could be thinking of.
“Kangaroo, Koala, maybe an emu could be funny, a platypus maybe,” He said not taking his eyes off of the collection. 
“Awh, that’s a great idea!” 
“Thank you, I have those sometimes,” He said and looked over with a cheeky smile. She laughed and stepped back a moment to get a better look at the top shelf. If there was any order at all, it was the more popular animals being towards the bottom - dogs, bears, cats - easy to grab, and the higher you looked the more obscure. 
“Ah! There! Koalas!” She pointed and jumped excitedly, it wasn’t hard to get lost in the moment with Oscar, even doing something so mundane as shopping for a co-worker-competitor. “Oh, right next to it is the Kangaroos!” 
They were about midway up, so Oscar reached on his tiptoes to grab them with both hands. 
“Jackpot,” Oscar smiled, looking at both of them and then over at (Y/n). She took the koala out of his hand and giggled, squishing her nose together and holding it up next to his head.
“He’ll know exactly who it’s from,” She teased. And Oscar laughed before throwing his head back in fake exasperation. 
“I’m never going to live it down,” He said, with a slight twinkle to his eye that let her know he didn’t really mind the comparison coming from her.
“I don’t think so, love, in fact, I think I’m going to buy one for me just for when you're away so much,” She said, giving the stuffed toy a hug and smiling up at him. 
“Just going to replace me that easily, huh?” He said and reached up to grab another one from the shelf and handed it to her. She placed it beside the one for Kevin’s daughter and leaned her face into it, looking back up at Oscar.
“Don’t be jealous, only for emergencies when I miss you, gives me someone to watch the races with too.”
“Jeez, I hope he’s alright with cuss words.”
“I’ll cover his ears.”
“Save him from learning the filthy language.”
Oscar wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they made their way to the checkout. She moved closer to him, leaning into the crook of his shoulder as they walked. She didn’t get a lot of these moments with him during this busy part of the end of the season, so she wanted every piece of him she could get.
They got to the checkout, and Oscar freed his grasp of her and held out his hand for the koala. She placed the one for Kevin’s daughter in his hand. He looked at her with his eyebrows raised.
“C’mon, of course, I’m going to buy you my koala replacement,” He said, his hand not moving, she shook her head. She started to open her mouth in protest but stopped at the look on his face and just handed it over. 
“And he shall be named Oscar Koastri,” She said proudly, and Oscar laughed, “Thank you, Osc, don't worry, you'll always be my favourite.”
“I had better be,” He grinned, "He'd better take good care of you while I'm away.
“Well, this looks pretty good,” Kevin Magnussen picked up the large box, “One of the biggest ones I’ve ever got.”
“Any early guesses of who it’s from?” Laura Winter asked. 
“Not really sure, wrapping is nice, maybe Nico’s wife helped him out,” He chuckled. 
“Well, go on and open it,” Laura encouraged.
Kevin unwrapped the box and slid open the lid. His face lit up a bit as he saw what was inside. The middle held a bottle of Australian wine, wrapped paper stuffed around so it didn't move too much. And around it were the two carefully chosen stuffed animal, a koala and a kangaroo.
“Awh, this is great! They thought of the girls too,” He said and took out the two stuffed animals first, “They’ll just love them.”
“Feels like a big hint too,” Laura smiled from behind the camera.
“Definitely someone from Australia,” Kevin nodded, putting down the koala and the kangaroo to the side, “Australian wine too, for me and my wife. Yes, this is an amazing gift.”
“Final guess?” Laura asked.
“Well, I’ll go with the first Australian, Daniel?”
“Nope.”
“Oscar then.”
“It’s Oscar, yes! And I’ve been told by him to make sure to mention his girlfriend helped a lot.”
“Well, then thank you Oscar and his girlfriend! These are great, the girls will love it, and we’ll love the wine. Congratulations on your rookie season and your rookie Secret Santa, mate. Merry Christmas to both of you!” Kevin smiled into the camera and nodded, looking back down at the cute gifts before it cut away. 
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