#emotional development awareness

[theambitiouswoman]

Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

[blueeyesfilledwithpassion]

Be Kind 💙

You’ll Thank Yourself Later. 💙

[official-lucifers-child]

new fanfic pet peeve is when people are writing children and clearly don’t know the difference between a 3-year-old, a 7-year-old, and a 13-year-old. this newborn isn’t saying words, this teenager is learning emotional intelligence, this child is literally not capable of comprehending that complex topic. please, it takes 2 minutes to look up “how should a 9-year-old be speaking” and “how developed is a 4-year-old’s mind”

you could even take it a half step further and look up the various stages of development in people. piaget, kohlberg, erikson, all those psychologists created these stages because we all followed such strict patterns when growing. you don’t need to go into the moral development of your oc’s child but at least make sure they’re speaking and acting like a child would at that age.

also when in doubt, for older children just go for more mature. it’s far better than treating teenagers like they don’t know what an emotion is lol

[ivemanifest]

Healing can take place in many forms, but the most useful way to approach healing based on my own experience has been the following: 1. Becoming aware of what I want to heal and asking myself why this healing is important to me 2. Start taking action in the healing process, whether it is journaling, reflecting or reprogramming my own inner beliefs to heal 3. Begin embody the elevated emotions of gratitude for healing. Even if this is PRIOR to anything actually being healed, I remember to consciously be grateful of my decision to heal in the first place 4. Continue to believe and be patient in my process of healing and TRUST that the Divine is guiding me each step of the way

Healing looks different for everyone but it makes a difference to have an idea of the path you would like to go and where to start that journey.

[roboneco]

Zack is genuinely one of my favourite characters and his development is just lovely HOWEVER I will never get over the fact that he didn't realise people disliked being looked down upon and bullied until HE was looked down upon and bullied AGAVAGJAGSB let's go I love my self-centred clueless king.

[sanctiphera]

The way to judge a country is to observe the way they treat their animals, their women, and their vulnerable (not necessarily in that order). That's my benchmark, always.

[puhpandas]

And How Big The Little Things Can Be

(2,196 words)

Evan reminisces over how cold his house feels compared to Gregory's warm one, and gets some help when his emotions over it all get too much to control. Oh, and its also Halloween. 🎃

Evan has always hated the cold.

His father will keep the house at below sixty constantly. Both his father and Michael like it that way. They like the house being so cold it nips at Evan's ears even during Winter.

It's why when Evan first got the chance, he'd used the little amount of money he'd made on his own to buy a couple sweaters. His clothes had already been getting too small because of his growth spurt, but his Father wont take him to buy a new wardrobe until he physically cant fit into them anymore, or he looks ridiculous wearing clothes that rise at his stomach and choke his collar.

His Father had long since convinced their neighbors of his... feelings about the way Evan is. So when Evan had offered to do work to make money when all he had was T-Shirts and tank tops and shorts, they'd jumped at the opportunity to pay him for doing work like a 'real man'.

Since then, the cold had been a little more bearable, even though he has to wear two layers of socks and retreat to his thick comforter after school if he has no business outside.

Autumn has long since arrived, with the leaves turning shades of auburn and yellow, grass yellowing, and Evan's school library having spiderwebs and skeletons decorating its insides. His sweaters have gotten more use since the season started, with the harsh heat finally cooling until theres a pleasant breeze, the feeling of Halloween just around the corner.

But his sweaters cant stop the feeling of always having that chill in his chest when he'd hear a thump come from another place in his house, or when he'd hear a door slam, and that would signal somebody being home.

What a stark contrast that is to where he is now, warm, bundled up, and comfortable.

Hes sitting next to Gregory on that scratchy rug his house has in front of its fireplace, lights dim, the sun having long set, with a fluffy throw blanket wrapped around his shoulders and tucked neatly between his legs. He has only one hand free, just to bring the hot, piping mug of delicious hot chocolate to his mouth.

Fragments of their Halloween costumes are strewn across the floor, half-finished and homemade. It's the night before Halloween, or Halloween Eve as Gregory likes to call it, and they'd both come up with the bright idea of having matching costumes this Halloween.

They'd run around all day, jumping from store to store to gather supplies, since Gregory insisted on making their costumes from scrap. They'd already been tired when Roxy had taken them home, but still persisted and almost completely completed their costumes in one night.

Evan's eyes had been left stuttering and heavy at the end of it, shoulders sagged and body weary, but Evan hadn't felt bad. It's the first time Evans found out there can be a good kind of exhaustion. Where you've spent all day having fun, and still feel the remnants of excitement in your stomach.

They'd chosen the generic Angel, Devil, theme, but Gregory had promised him they'd have plenty of time to get through them all, someday.

It's only Evan's first Halloween since meeting Gregory, and he'd tried not to appear too affected by Gregory's words right in front of him when he'd first said them.

Never has Evan felt so... so excited for Halloween. Usually, its just the perfect opportunity for Michael to grab a one dollar mask at their local Spirit Halloween, and scare the living daylights out of Evan when he'd come back home from a good day, turning it into a worse day, because he wouldn't be able to shake the fear from his chest the rest of the night.

But this year, Evan has Gregory. Evan has people who actually treat Halloween like something fun, to look forward to, and not just as an excuse to scare him. This year, hes going trick or treating with his best friend, his family, and Evan's going to enjoy spending time with them. No looming prescense of Michael, just waiting to strike, or his Father, waiting for any excuse to comment on Evan's nature.

Its the first time he's felt excited for something like this, instead of dreadful. It's the first time Evan's been able to sit comfortably, and think of the coming days as something to look forward to, instead of something uncertain to be scared of.

It's the first time Evan's been warm, comfortable, and content in a long time.

The room is silent; save for the crackling of the fireplace and the soft music Gregory's house always seems to have playing. The only other sound is the general presence of Gregory and Roxy in the room with him.

Which is why when Evan suddenly has a wave of emotion wash over him, Gregory immediately snaps to attention from where he was nodding off when Evan starts crying.

"Evan?" Gregory asks worriedly, letting the blanket fall of his shoulders when he twists his body to face Evan. "Hey, are you okay?"

Evan shakes his head, gesturing vaguely with his hand. "Im-- I'm alright." He sniffs, and looks away when the tears keep coming, hiding his face as much as he can in his blanket covered knees. "Um, dont worry about me, please. I'm okay, I swear."

Despite looking away, Evan can still feel Gregory's hovering, worried presence at his shoulder, and Roxys watchful gaze on him.

"Did something happen?" Gregory asks, spitfiring. "Evan, if somethings wrong, can you tell me? You know I never judge you. This time is no different."

Evan shakes his head, removing his face from the blanket and facing Gregory. "Theres nothing wrong." He promises, and at the look Gregory sends him, he insists. "No, I promise! I-I dont know what's wrong, or... why I'm crying. I was happy just a few moments ago."

Gregory looks as confused as Evan feels. All Evan can do is bring the sleeve of his favorite sweater up to his cheeks and wipe the tears away, even if more follow right after.

Roxy hums, and sets the laptop she had in her lap to the side, sliding off the armchair she was sitting in to sit in front of Gregory and Evan, careful to move the headbands with a halo and devil horns they had been working on out of the way.

"Evan," She starts gently when she settles. "Are you sad right now?"

Evan's eyes widen, and he shakes his head, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. "No! I'm not." He insists. "...Which is why I'm so confused as to why I'm crying."

Roxy just tilts her head, leaning on one arm on the floor. "Okay, then let me ask you this, bud." She starts. "Have you ever cried because you were just so mad, or frustrated?"

Evan only thinks about it for a moment, his head nodding almost immediately, because he doesnt even have to mull that over. Theres been so many times where Evan would just smush his face into his pillow, and scream as loud as he could in his house. Because frustration is an emotion Evan is so used to, when Evan will wonder why Michael hates him so much.

"Yes." Evan says after a moment. "Yes, I have."

Roxy just nods, smiling that kind, but also wolfish smile of hers. "Then have you considered the idea that you might be crying because you're so happy?"

That makes Evan pause. He freezes, taking a moment for Roxys words to process as he turns them around in his head.

...It sounds awful when he thinks about it, doesnt it? The idea that he didnt even consider the idea of being happy enough to cry, because all he'd ever known is being mad, or sad enough to cry.

But that's what it is. That's what he reflects on, when for the first time, he's introduced to the idea that maybe, his emotions are just felt times two, and sadness and anger isnt the only thing he can feel intensely.

And also, that hes finally in a place where being so happy he can cry is a possibility. Is a reality.

Gregory must have noticed his intense thinking face, because then he seems to sag in relief, chuckling and shifting to get more comfortable. "So you were just so happy, that you cried?"

Evan doesnt answer for a moment, then finally tears his eyes away from the hole he was burning in the rug to look at Gregory. He nods, at first slowly, then more sure of himself. "Yeah." He sniffs, smiling. "I-I think so, yeah."

"Phew!" Gregory says exaggeratedly. "You had me worried for a second. I was afraid we somehow made you sad, or something."

Evan laughs, too, more tears pricking his eyes and following the tracks down his face, but all he does is wipe them away. "Me too." He says. "I was just confused. Because I'm not really sad around you guys."

Gregory just grins at him and grabs him in a side hug, shaking him slightly, but Roxy just chuckles, and hums again.

"Hang on." She tells them. They pause, glancing at her questioningly. "You two know how I go to the gym every Friday?"

Gregory nods, his hair tickling Evan's cheek, and Evan does too. Evan's been friends with Gregory for multiple months at this point, and he remembers Roxy talking about her weekly errand.

"Well," Roxy begins, smiling and looking pointedly at Evan. "I go to the gym because like you, Evan, I feel my emotions more intensely than other people might. But instead of it being all of them, like you, I just felt angry a lot. And it could get worse, and then I would blow up at people, or cry really hard."

Evan listens intensely, eyes wide. He nods, an invitation for Roxy to keep going, and she keeps that encouraging smile on her face. "It was like that for a long time. From when I was your age, to when I was a teenager. But it was only that way because I hadn't found my outlet yet."

Evan tilts his head. "Outlet?"

"I found out that hitting, or punching things, helps me channel my anger into one place, and let it all out without it affecting me or somebody else in a bad way." Roxy explains. "It helps to know you have a special time and place to let the emotions that build up inside of you out, so when they start to get bad before you're at that special spot, you can control them easier. Save them for when you know you'll be able to let them out."

Evan nods rapidly, soaking up every word. Hes never heard an adult talk about things he struggles with seriously before, let alone somebody who also experiences the same problem, and knows how to help. "So if I punch things, will it help me not cry so much?"

Roxy shakes her head, still smiling. "Probably not, Rockstar." She tells him, but before he can get too disappointed, keeps going. "But, we dont know. Things may not be the same for you the way they are for me, but if you try things out, eventually, you'll find the way that works best for you to let all your emotions out, so you dont blow up or they dont get uncontrollable in places you dont want them to."

Evan smiles, running the words over in his head. It's the first time theres ever been any indication that he can change, not for his family, but for himself. It's the first time Evan's felt like theres light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to his inner turmoil.

"If I could do it, you can too, Evan. My family didnt know how to help, but it was their support along with my friends' that helped me learn how to help myself."

"Well, you got us." Gregory pipes up, voice loud in Evan's ear. Gregory squeezes his shoulders a little tighter, twisting his body to be in Evans field of vision. "I'll help you find what your..." He pauses for a moment. "outlet is. I promise."

Evan smiles, moving to shift his neck to be pressed against Gregory. "Thank you." He says. To both of them. He meets Roxys eyes, and tries to express his gratitude with just his gaze.

Roxy seems to understand, because she just nods at him, as if to say 'I know you'll do great'.

"You should try punching Michael to see if thats your outlet." Gregory says. "I think that's a pretty good idea."

Evan splutters a laugh at that, and he can see Gregory grinning, too.

Evan's eyes are heavy, and sore from crying. Both from the exciting day he just had and from the emotions he just filed through, so when he let's himself lean against Gregory, body weary and cheeks littered with dried tear tracks, Gregory sits strong, and leans back as well.

Evan falls asleep like that, surrounded by warmth in more ways than one.

ao3 link

[adiyo]

Nurturing Yourself First: The True Power of Self-Care

Self-care isn't selfish; it's the most important commitment you make to yourself. Nurture your mind, body, and soul—because when you pour into yourself, you’re better equipped to pour into the world around you.

[praiseinchains]

After a lifetime, I'm finally ready to start taking care of myself. I'm only sorry I wasn't ready before.

My journaling time was quite introspective today. This REALLY hit deep.

[gem-femmes]

7 Subtle Ways People Try to Sabotage Young Women

In my teens and twenties, people often told me I'd look great with short hair or suggested I buy clothing that didn't suit my figure, age, or personal style.

Their unsolicited "advice" confused me. For the longest time, I thought, why would you suggest this? Don't you have eyes in your head?

Oh, how young and naive I was.

Now, in my thirties, I know what all that poor unsolicited advice people dumped on me was about.

The point was to try to nerf my natural attractiveness and personality. That way, others who felt like they operated with less would look better in comparison.

Sabotage, especially subtle sabotage, can come in many forms. It's often disguised as advice or concern.

These are the most common ways people, intentionally or not, try to undermine young women.

Take the following "advice" with a grain of salt, even if coming from a close person.

🔪1. Appearance-Based Sabotage

Hair and makeup: Telling you to cut your hair shorter or wear less makeup, implying that you should be "less high-maintenance" or that natural looks are "more professional," when in reality, they may be trying to diminish your confidence or attractiveness.

Clothing: Suggesting you wear baggy or unflattering clothes under the guise of being "more comfortable" or "modest," which could be a way to make you appear less confident or attractive. Also suggesting clothing that ages you unnecessarily.

Body shaming: Making comments that subtly criticize your body, such as implying you should lose or gain weight, which can undermine your self-esteem.

🔪2. Career and Ambition Sabotage

Downplaying achievements: Minimizing your successes or implying they are due to luck rather than your skills, which can erode your confidence in your abilities.

Discouraging ambition: Telling you to be "realistic" or not aim too high, suggesting that you should settle for less in your career or personal goals.

"Nice girl" syndrome: Advising you to be more agreeable or not to assert yourself too much, as it might make you "unlikable" or "bossy," which can inhibit your leadership potential.

🔪3. Relationship Sabotage

Undermining relationships: Suggesting that you are "too picky" or should settle in your relationships, which can lead to accepting less from a partner than you deserve.

Toxic advice on boundaries: Encouraging you to ignore red flags or be more accommodating in relationships, which can lead to unhealthy dynamics.

🔪4. Emotional and Mental Sabotage

Gaslighting: Making you question your reality or decisions, leading to self-doubt.

Playing the victim: Acting hurt or upset when you succeed or make decisions for yourself, making you feel guilty for your achievements.

Competitive undermining: Subtly competing with you in a way that makes you feel less than, such as constantly comparing themselves to you or highlighting your flaws.

🔪5. Social and Networking Sabotage

Isolation: Encouraging you to distance yourself from certain people or networks that could be beneficial to you, under the guise of protecting you from "bad influences." When in reality these very people or networks could help you succeed in your career/school or lead to other opportunities to advance.

Gatekeeping: Withholding information, contacts, or opportunities that could help you advance, while pretending to be supportive.

🔪6. Critiquing Your Personality

Labeling assertiveness as aggression: Calling you "aggressive" or "too much" when you stand up for yourself, which can push you to be more passive.

Mocking your passions: Dismissing your hobbies or interests as childish or unimportant, which can make you doubt your own preferences and values.

🔪7. Advice to Conform

Encouraging compliance: Advising you to fit in or conform to certain norms, especially if those norms are limiting or don't align with your true self. (This is different from fitting in in environments where a certain level of professionalism is needed)

Discouraging uniqueness: Telling you that certain behaviors or styles are "too out there" or "not ladylike," pushing you to suppress your individuality.

Recognizing these behaviors is important so that you can protect yourself on time, i.e. before others manipulate you into making a choice that does you no favors.

Trusting your instincts, maintaining a strong sense of self, and surrounding yourself with genuinely supportive people can help you nip these negative influences in the bud.

[marimeiastories]

Happiness is knowing you will be fine when others leave because you managed to understand you are whole. While others enrich you, they do not complete you.

[theambitiouswoman]

Emotionally healthy people are quitters ✨

Emotionally healthy people are quitters. They make choices that align with their well being. Quitting a relationship, partnership or job that makes you unhappy is a sign of self awareness. If someone stays in something bad for too long, it's not because they're strong, but because they're afraid or have low self esteem. Being emotionally healthy means having awareness, setting boundaries, and knowing when it's time to move on from situations that no longer serve you. It's about prioritizing your mental and emotional health over sticking with something that's causing you harm or making you unhappy.

Emotionally healthy people also tend to have good communication skills. They express their feelings and needs calmly, openly and honestly. They also look for guidance and enlightenment because they understand that seeking help is a sign of strength not weakness.

They make decisions out of self love rather than attachment or fear. When you prioritize loving yourself, you make choices that align with your happiness and growth, rather than staying in situations out of comfort or insecurity.

Recognizing when you have an unhealthy attachment or that your feelings may not be conducive to your well being is important. It allows you to take a step back, evaluate the situation objectively, and make choices that are in line with your best interests.

Sometimes holding on can lead to more pain and struggle than necessary. It's a sign of emotional maturity to recognize when a situation is no longer good for you and to have the strength to let it go.

Things that are genuinely right for you should not cause you harm or emotional pain. Choosing pain is a sign of a lack of self love. Recognizing the need for change, prioritizing self love, and making healthier choices is how you begin to change your life.

Reframe your mindset from “this is hurting me because I love it” to “this is hurting me because I do not love me.”

[user-name-h3re]

If Nurf ever does ONE horrible thing or ever so slightly CONSIDERS hurting Preston in the new episodes i'm going to projectile vomit and gouge my eyes out the ENTIRE REASON HE WENT TO CAMP WAS TO BE BETTER WHY IS HE THE ONLY ONE THATS HASN'T GOTTEN BETTER WH-

[etherealeden]

the spiritual and psychological way of processing negative emotions and regulating your nervous system

part 1: the pattern

Do you ever feel like certain negative emotions are stuck in your body, no matter what you do? They keep reemerging, blocking you from the deeper healing you’re seeking.

I used to have the same mental breakdown every Friday. It was horrible. The school week would end, work was behind me, and I was supposed to go out with friends. But instead, my negative self-talk would amplify, and my feelings would become unbearable.

Humans are sensitive beings. I’ve always felt like I’m especially sensitive, able to detect even the slightest shifts in mood, energy, or environment. But now I realize I’m not alone in this. I think we’re all meant to deeply feel and sense everything around us. Feeling is our inner guidance system. To truly explore the intuition behind feeling all emotions, we must first accept them.

We have to accept love, peace, joy, and confidence, just as we must also embrace shame, guilt, fear, grief, and heartbreak. In my experience, this is the path to feeling enlightened and truly connected to spirituality.

But back to my mental break down every Friday. It took me a long time to uncover the subconscious pattern behind this emotional outburst. In the end, the core reason behind it all was one thing: resistance. Throughout the entire week, in order to be a functioning member of society, I resisted my feelings—all of them, both the positive and the negative. This brings me to the most important lesson in my healing:

What you resit will persist.

part 2: why acting as if isn’t always working

If we consider this spiritual law of the universe, it makes sense why the “acting as if” approach might not work for everyone. I don’t mean to criticize this principle or those who teach it, but I found it to be misleading for me. I used “acting as if” as a way to suppress my emotions, which only intensified them further. It was Lacy Phillips, a teacher in neural manifestation, who introduced me to the concept of “spiritual bypassing.” The appeal of instantly having what you want can be very tempting, but it ended up disconnecting me from my nervous system and true self. I’d like to sprinkle in some scientific evidence to support this. Studies show that receiving praise for presenting ourselves in ways that are inauthentic can negatively impact our self-esteem (Hussain & Langer, 2003). This highlights the importance of authenticity. Here’s the thing: at the time, I genuinely believed that “acting as if” was authentic. I thought that pretending I had those emotions would lead me to where I wanted to be. Although this approach isn't entirely flawed, I wasn’t able to recognize the deeper layers involved.

For a bit of deeper insight, here’s what I struggled with at the time:

I battled an eating disorder from my early teenage years. I was forced into recovery and had to gain weight, which ultimately saved my life. However, I never received the psychological support needed to address the underlying emotions and thoughts that led to my illness in the first place. This experience was deeply traumatic, which is why I initially avoided feeling my emotions. My issues with food and body dysmorphia persisted, leaving me feeling far from my authentic self. I couldn’t see the deeper layers behind these body issues. I failed to recognize that what I truly craved was safety, self-acceptance, confidence, happiness, energy, and satisfaction. Instead, I acted as if I had my dream body, projecting confidence and pretending to feel pretty, while my inner child remained deeply hurt and I felt profound shame.I had so many underlying issues that I wasn’t able to fully embody the true emotions I desired.

I understand this topic can be very triggering and that many people are struggling with similar issues. However, I also want to emphasize that healing is possible. I’ll be creating a dedicated post on how I healed my body dysmorphia and eating issues. If you have any questions or specific aspects of healing you’re interested in, please feel free to message me. For now, I'll focus on more general approaches to consider instead of "acting as if.”

part 3: finding acceptance

I love acceptance now, though I used to hate, fear, and avoid it at all costs. Embracing acceptance can be challenging and demanding, but it is crucial to healing. I had an amazing therapist who introduced me to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which has been essential in my journey. To take the steps toward where we want to go, we first need to accept where we are. In my experience, acceptance helps us feel grounded and regulates the nervous system, promoting calm and peace. This sense of acceptance makes it easier to avoid reacting impulsively in old patterns and opens us up to new solutions.

I use three approaches to cultivate acceptance: the first is elevating your frequency through the emotional scale by Abraham Hicks, the second is a technique called reframing, and the third is practicing self-compassion.

part 3a: the emotional scale

The emotional scale by Abraham Hicks is a tool designed to help individuals understand and shift their emotional states. The scale ranks emotions from the most positive to the most negative, with the idea that higher emotions align more closely with our true self and well-being. The idea is to recognize where you currently fall on the scale and take steps to move up to a higher emotional state. To work with this emotional scale, I start by identifying the emotion I’m currently experiencing. For example, if I’m feeling anger, I allow myself to fully experience it. I sit with the emotion and focus on intensifying it in my body, recognizing that it's safe to feel emotions in this way. This practice is not about harming anyone; in fact, it’s a healthy way to process and release emotions. Often, simply acknowledging and fully experiencing the emotion will help it subside on its own. If I’m still feeling anger, I try to shift my focus to a higher-frequency emotion that feels authentic to me at that moment.

Here’s an example: I have a limiting belief from childhood that I am not validated or seen enough by my mom. Recently, when I shared something important with her and she didn’t remember it the next day, I felt angry. I felt this anger in my body, so I couldn’t just ignore it. I went to my room and sat with the emotion of anger. After processing it, I was able to shift to a higher emotional state by reminding myself that my mom loves me and is simply stressed from working hard to provide for us. This way I could feel gratitude and love, higher vibrating emotions. It is okay if there is still a bit of anger present, a feeling dosen’t have to go away completely from one second to another.

part 3b: Reframing and Self-Compassion

Reframing is similar to using the emotional scale, but it often involves a more logical approach. It’s about adopting a new perspective on a mistake, issue, or event that occurred. Reframing helps us reinterpret situations in a way that can lead to a more positive or constructive understanding. Carson and Langer (2006) capture the essence of reframing well, stating, “[…] find the perspective that provides either new knowledge, motivation for change, and/or an opportunity to teach others a valuable lesson” (p. 34). For me, this has a lot to do with self-compassion. According to Abraham Hicks, self-compassion means seeing yourself through the eyes of your true essence or "source." It involves viewing yourself in a more positive light and reclaiming the feelings or beliefs you wish to hold about yourself.

Source or the universe created us all as perfect beings. Wherever you are right now is exactly where you’re meant to be. The mistakes you make and the pain you experience are essential for the lessons your soul is meant to learn in this lifetime. Sometimes it can be helpful to consider how you would treat a partner, parent, or friend if they were in the same situation you’re facing right now. It can also be beneficial to connect with your inner child. Many of our limiting beliefs originate from childhood, so often it’s not just you who is hurting, but your inner child as well. I sometimes visualize hugging my inner child, speaking kindly to them, and reassuring myself that I am safe and everything will be okay (this practice helps no matter what).

When I moved to a new, larger city, I felt lost. The sense of safety and peace I had worked so hard to cultivate suddenly disappeared. This situation was very triggering for me, especially because I have a deep fear of my mental health issues reappearing. To navigate this, I chose to reframe the situation. I reminded myself that it’s normal to feel unsafe and lost when moving to a new, big city. Building a sense of home takes time, but it’s entirely possible. As I delved deeper, I uncovered a belief that I didn’t belong in this city, that I was different and somehow wrong. I meditated on this belief and eventually realized that my soul chose this city for a reason: to expand me and bring me to the next level. I understood that the universe was testing whether I could cultivate these emotions in a new environment. Essentially, I was growing and affirming that this is my new self. No one and nothing could take these emotions away from me because I can cultivate them from scratch, regardless of the circumstances. See how reframing allowed me to find a sense of safety and belonging? It’s important to acknowledge that this process took time, but I truly believe it’s magical.

part4: different insights that allow more acceptance

These action steps are adopted from Carson & Langer (2006) as well as my own experiences.

Observe your environment and find blissful things

To cultivate a sense of safety and belonging and accept your own reality, start by observing new things in your environment. Look for small changes, things you love, and aspects that bring you joy and gratitude. Use these elements to ground yourself and make you feel secure. For me, this included activities like singing, drawing, going for walks in nature, cuddling, and meditating.

Allow momentum for change

It’s important to remember that you’re allowed to change and evolve and feel acceptance. Focus things that genuinely resonate with you and that you can commit to. For instance, when I struggled with body image issues I had to accept them first. However, at the same same time I decided to believe in a better reality where I loved my body. I had to learn that even the smallest actions contribute to building momentum toward this goal. It’s a process, and I’m allowed to make mistakes and take steps backward. But small changes and frequently recalling emotions that I can get behind make the difference. I began to gradually feel better about my body by listening to its needs, whether it required rest, movement, nourishment, or simply happiness.

Ambiguity

The world is not simply black and white, paradoxes exist. You can simultaneously dislike and care for your body. This dosen’t mean you have to dislike your body forever, but if this is the emotional state you are in currently than that is okay. Developing the ability to tolerate ambiguity is therefore crucial for building self-acceptance. I initially resisted acceptance, fearing it would keep me stagnant, but in reality, it had the opposite effect. Embracing acceptance allowed me to move forward and grow.

part 5: summary and key learnings

Negative emotions can persist if we resist them. I learned that accepting all emotions, both positive and negative, is crucial for healing.

"Acting as if" can sometimes lead to suppressing emotions rather than addressing them. Authenticity and deeper emotional understanding are key.

Embracing acceptance helps to ground and regulate emotions. Techniques like using the emotional scale, reframing, and practicing self-compassion can facilitate this process.

To cultivate acceptance, observe joyful aspects of your environment, allow yourself to evolve, and tolerate the ambiguity of your feelings

Sending you love and light

Nina

Literature

Carson, S. H., & Langer, E. J. (2006). Mindfulness and self-acceptance. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 24(1), 29–43. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10942-006-0022-5

Hussain, M. S., & Langer, E. (2003). A Cost of Pretending. Journal of Adult Development, 10(4), 261–270. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1026063611951

[blueeyesfilledwithpassion]

Waves 🌊

Similar to waves crashing into the night.

Emotions stir and onslaught the serenity within.

The feelings build just as the water collects on the shore, wave after wave.

You try to divert your thoughts, feelings and emotions but they're always there swirling about.

Just like the ocean.

Waiting for your return.

Me

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

in the time travel lance au, how much did lance tell the team/lotor? do they know hes from the future and that hes lance and how much things went to shit, or is he keeping the info from them(i mean you said hes doing that, but im curious as to how much hes actually letting them know)? also wait hold on. does the whole time travel situation mean that there are TWO lances running around now??

Pretty sure Lance tells them absolutely nothing. Just absolutely nothing. Fuck All. At best you can expect from him is vague riddles, very specific advice, and a 10-minute long call out session in Lotor's case where he drags him for every issue he ever had and after which he fucks off to do god knows what. And while Lance does try to keep his identity hidden, not to mention lets just say he is Off Putting enough to the point that the aliens do not connect him to any of the humans (except Kuron who recognized a movie reference).

And there are two Lances running around, though because of future!Lance, Shiro didnt reach Earth and instead he met Allura who got out from cryopod earlier