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philomenie · 24 days

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KILLING ME SOFTLY

Hitman!Jolly fic

CN murder, violence, sex, organized crime, blood, angst, 18+

@jilliemiw86 @nojoyontheburn @reyadawn @dsireland86

ELEVEN

“If you keep cooking for me like this every day, I'm going to burst!” Olivia gasps blissfully, pushing her plate away. Jolly grins into his wine glass before taking a big sip, “I'm glad you like it!” “Absolutely!” Olivia smiles and leans back, ”Let's do the washing up tomorrow....” “Hmm, I'll clear up quickly.... Why don't you lie down on the couch... I'll be right there!” Jolly explains gently. “OK... but hurry up!” Olivia kisses him before heading into the living room. Jolly knows she must be dead tired after work, so he quickly puts everything away and into the dishwasher. When he has finished and goes to Olivia in the living room, she is curled up on the couch, already asleep.

Smiling, Jolly bends over her and lifts her up, causing her to open her eyes in shock, “It's all right, min Liv, I'm just putting you to bed!” he whispers tenderly and Olivia nestles trustingly in his arms as he takes her into the bedroom. He skillfully throws back the covers and lets himself slide into bed with her in his arms. Olivia immediately snuggles up to him, “I'm totally exhausted!” she sighs. “I know, min Liv, I've got you, sleep peacefully!” whispers Jolly tenderly. Tired, Olivia blinks up one last time before falling asleep, “I love you...” she whispers, smiling. “I love you too ....” Jolly kisses her on her forehead, watching her visibly relax and grow heavy in his arms.

„Innan jag träffade dig visste jag inte vad kärlek var ... du äger mitt hjärta, min själ, min kropp ... allt. Du gör mig komplett, gör mitt liv komplett ... Jag visste inte att jag behövde dig för att leva, för att verkligen leva, innan du var det enkel överlevnad..... Gud Liv, du är den mest värdefulla gåva jag någonsin har fått! Och det faktum att du vill ha mig känns fortfarande som en dröm som jag är rädd att jag ska vakna upp ur en dag ... Jag är din, bara din! Before I met you, I didn't know what love was... you own my heart, my soul, my body... everything. You complete me, make my life complete... I didn't know that I needed you to live, to really live, before you it was simple survival..... God Liv, you are the most precious gift I have ever received! And the fact that you want me still seems like a dream that I'm afraid I'll wake up from one day... I'm yours, yours alone!” he whispers with emotion in his voice and notices a tear running down his cheek. When Olivia moves in his arms and looks up at him, he is startled at first, “I thought you were asleep!” he whispers harshly. “Hmm, almost.... I love it when you speak Swedish!” she smiles and brushes the tear away with her fingertip, ‘What did you say to me!’ she wants to know. “That I love you... that I'm yours... only yours!” Jolly whispers harshly. “Mine!” Olivia nods, ‘And I'm yours!’ she kisses him on his soft lips. Jolly pulls her as close as he can, never wanting to let her go for a second.

“You want to talk, here I am!” explains Jolly as he closes the door to Kolja's office in his club behind him. “Sit down!” Kolja nods at him, pointing to an armchair in front of his desk, ‘Drink?’ he wants to know. Jolly shrugs his shoulder, “If you've got a beer there.....” Kolja snorts in amusement, “I can get it!” He opens the door and yells at one of the girls to bring a bottle of beer to his office. After Jolly has his beer, Kolja leans back in his desk chair, puts his fingertips together and looks appraisingly at Jolly, who calmly returns the look. “You killed the bastard who had Artur on his conscience.....” Kolja begins. “Hmm” nods Jolly. “Strange coincidence, don't you think?” he then wants to know from Jolly. “What exactly?” he asks. “Well... my father tells Artur to fuck off because he's unsuitable in his eyes. Artur then suddenly disappears and his body is found at our informant's....., a man Artur has nothing to do with.... It's all a bit strange, if you ask me!” Kolja looks at Jolly and waits. “Hmmm,” Jolly shrugs his shoulder.

“Then two of Artur's men have also disappeared, probably dead too.... His remaining man for everything is accordingly nervous!” explains Kolja. “His remaining man?” Jolly asks calmly, although he suddenly feels sick to his stomach at the thought that there is a third man who knows about him and Olivia. “Hmm, Fedor, he thinks it's all more than strange too!” grumbles Kolja, looking Jolly straight in the eye, ”And that's where you come in!” “In what way?” replies Jolly coldly, his nausea intensifying immensely, but remaining outwardly calm as ever. “My father..... HE must be the one who killed Artur. Anything else makes no sense at all!” Kolja grumbles and Jolly exhales, ”Talk to him! You're the only one he might tell the truth to. I just have to know!” “I can try!” concedes Jolly, ”But I don't know if he'll tell me anything!” “Just talk to him tomorrow!” nods Kolja. The men look at each other in silence. “Nadja, hmm?” Kolja then grins at Jolly, ”You could have had her! You know that!” “Hmm” Jolly nods slowly, ”I like her.....” “You're fucking her!” laughs Kolja. “Not anymore!” Jolly shakes his head and takes a deep pull from his bottle. “Because of Sergei?” Kolja wants to know “Hmm” nods Jolly, ”Otherwise it's just trouble!”

“Nadja certainly doesn't see it that way!” Kolja teases him. “She can, I see it that way!” Jolly tries to end the topic. “Do you have another one?” Kolja starts again. FUCK.... Just shut your stupid mouth, thinks Jolly annoyed and shakes his head, “No!” “Take Kira! She'd be a good match for you!” laughs Kolja. “I don't need anyone, thanks!” Jolly tries again. “Hmm,” Kolja grumbles, shaking his head, but finally stops talking about it. “Oh well.... I almost forgot!” Kolja then snorts, ”Kusma is here! As an outward sign of our connection, you're going to get another tattoo! With my initials and my mark! Just like all my other men!” Jolly presses his jaws together and has to breathe in and out calmly. Unbridled rage wells up inside him. So he is to be marked again.... For his new master, so to speak. Jolly lowers his eyelids so as not to give himself away and sips from the label of his beer bottle. To stall for time, he asks, “Hm, today?” “Why not today? I think it's a good time. You'll officially be my new right-hand man at Artur's wake!” smiles Kolja. “Hmmm” nods Jolly with an uneasy feeling in her stomach ‘And can I choose the position?’ he wants to know. “I'd like it on your right cheekbone!” explains Kolja, ‘KSW’ he adds.

Jolly just stares straight ahead, knowing that if he says anything or even moves now, he will completely lose his temper. Kolja looks at him challengingly and Jolly lifts his head, looks him straight in the eye, “NO! NOT in my fucking face!” he declares more than clearly. Kolja is speechless, just stares at Jolly, opens his mouth and closes it again, like a fish out of water, then clears his throat, “My other men get it in exactly the same place!” “But I'm your right-hand man and not one of your henchmen....” Jolly growls angrily. Kolja looks at him with narrowed eyes, “Maybe you're right....” he then concedes, “Very well... somewhere else then!” Jolly leans back, relieved that his face has been spared for the time being. What he is not spared, however, is the tattoo itself and Nadja. Kusma has routinely tattooed Kolja's initials and mark onto Jolly's skin and taped them directly below Semjon's initials. Jolly angrily pulls his shirt back on, while Kusma already has the next of Kolja's men under his needle. He is so distracted by his anger that he doesn't even notice Nadja stepping next to him. He only notices her when she runs her hand over his bare chest.

“It's been a long time since I've seen..... TOO long!” she smiles. Jolly takes her hand away, “What are you doing Nadja....” he growls and buttons up his shirt. Nadja stands in front of him and pushes her hands through his hair, claws into a tuft at the back of his head and pulls his head up so that he has to look at her. “Still HER?” Nadja hisses dangerously quietly. Jolly's gaze flickers briefly to the side to make sure no one hears them. “Still her.....” Nadja swallows realizing and looks at Jolly stunned, bending her mouth to his ear, “Don't worry... I won't betray you, but you will leave her! Otherwise......” Nadja leaves the sentence unfinished. In a flash, Jolly's hand moves forward and grips Nadja's throat. This time it's him who leans towards her ear, “Don't threaten me and especially not her.... Never do that again, do you understand me?” he growls, barely audible, and squeezes her throat even tighter, only to let go immediately afterwards. Gasping and holding her neck, Nadja stumbles back and looks at Jolly, her eyes wide with bewilderment. “You're out of your mind!” she then croaks, ”I hardly know you anymore!” “You never knew me!” Jolly throws at her. “But she does?” Nadja hisses jealously, ”She knows you? Don't tell me... she doesn't even know WHO you are, WHAT you are!” she laughs bitterly. Jolly steps up close to Nadja, “Yes, she knows me, she knows WHO I am, WHAT I am... and guess what, she still wants me!” he rumbles. Nadja's eyes widen in horror, “You told her the truth?” she swallows. “Yes, I did!” growls Jolly. “That's your death sentence!” Nadja chokes out. “Not if you keep your fucking mouth shut and leave me alone... Tomorrow you're getting engaged to Sergei... Get on his nerves or find yourself a new toy. I'm no longer available!” he grumbles. “You still don't get it, do you?” Nadja wants to know, ”You can't just play nice with your little bitch.....” Jolly looks at Nadja in disgust, “Jealousy doesn't suit you, Nadja!” he growls and leaves her standing there. FUCK... the evening is a disaster, he thinks to himself in despair. Nadja leaves him alone for the rest of the evening and Jolly longs for a suitable time to leave the party. Kolja is now drunk as a skunk, or at least it looks that way. Brooding to himself, he sips his vodka again and again. He detests vodka, but Kolja has insisted that a vodka toast be made in Artur's honor. Jolly's nerves are stretched to breaking point and he just wants to go home to his Liv.... He also resolves to contact Doi again on Sunday at the latest to ask him when the fucking papers will finally be ready..…

He flinches in irritation as his cell phone buzzes in his pocket. He quickly takes it out to see who is trying to contact him. Liv... He hastily presses her message and furrows his brows, reads her message again and then bangs his fist on the table. FUCK!!!! She can't possibly be serious, he thinks to himself and has to take a deep breath to stop himself from freaking out. Olivia has just informed him that she has been invited to her colleague's bachelorette party at short notice and, as this colleague is her immediate superior, she couldn't turn it down without upsetting her. So she is currently in a bar with her colleagues..... Jolly only has one question for Olivia, “WHERE?” Nervously he waits for her answer, when she comes he jumps up, goes to Kolja, who is lying with his face in Hanna's bosom. “Kolja....” Jolly shakes him, ”Kolja, can you hear me?” Kolja lifts his head sluggishly, “Hmm” “I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow!” Jolly explains curtly. “Hmm” Kolja mumbles and lets his face fall back onto Hanna's bosom, who smiles and strokes his hair. Jolly storms downstairs. The evening IS an absolute disaster!!!

Jolly enters the bar with a clenched jaw and looks around searchingly. It's crowded and stuffy, loud music blaring from the speakers. He still can't believe that Olivia has come here with him after everything that has happened. And especially without him..... He feels his heart race as he pushes his way through the crowd to get to the counter. “Hey... I'm looking for my girlfriend!” he says to the bartender, ”Tall, pretty, dark long curls. She's out with colleagues, bachelorette party.” he explains quickly. “Hmm” nods the bartender, ”They're upstairs, second floor!” “Thanks, man!” nods Jolly and is already on his way up, tying his hair back by forming the top half into a bun. When he reaches the second floor, he can immediately make out the group Olivia must be traveling with. FUCK... drunk women.... he thinks to himself resignedly as he makes out the giggling, laughing women. One or two male colleagues seem to be there too. Only WHERE is Liv, he thinks to himself and pushes forward to find her until he sees her. He pauses, stares at her. His Liv and another woman are dancing and laughing to the loud music. Her movements are smooth, she is completely caught up in the melody. Jolly can't tear his gaze away from her, nor can he move. The image in front of him has enchanted him, just as Liv has enchanted him.

He notices how a smile forms on his face and he relaxes. Jolly crosses his arms in front of his chest and just watches her, taking in the relaxed atmosphere. Until some asshole steps behind his Liv and definitely presses himself too close to her, daring to put his filthy hands on her hips. Liv tries to shake the guy off, which only makes the idiot laugh and grab her upper arm. He tries to pull her to him..... He tries, because Jolly is already beside him, gripping his wrist with an iron grip, squeezing brutally, making the asshole look at him in irritation. “You're putting your hands on the wrong woman!” he growls quietly, ‘She's mine!’ and steps even closer to the guy. Olivia, who has been watching all this speechlessly, sees Jolly's free hand twitch and immediately takes it in hers, “Nothing else has happened!” she whispers to him. Jolly has to control himself, he would love to beat the guy to a pulp. Not just because he touched his Liv, but also because the whole evening was just shit and this is the icing on the cake for him. But he tells himself to calm down and pushes the guy away, “Get out!” he snarls at him as he stumbles back. Olivia stands in front of Jolly, puts her arms around his neck, “Look at me!” she demands in an alcohol-soaked voice, “Nothing happened!”

Jolly's gaze flickers as he looks at her, “Because I got there in time!” he snorts angrily, but wraps his arms tightly around her waist and pulls her close, “I don't want you out at night without me!” he gulps, “I told you, there are too many idiots and lunatics out here!” Olivia snuggles up to him, “I really had my fun!” she chortles, “Except for that guy.....” “Hmm” grumbles Jolly, noticing how Olivia's colleagues are eyeing him curiously, ”Let's go home!” “In a minute.....” whines Olivia, ‘I want to dance with my boyfriend!’ grinning. “Heavens!” gasps Jolly in amusement, ”I can't dance!” “Hmmm, you'll learn then!” laughs Olivia and starts to move to the beat. Jolly feels overwhelmed at first, but then he moves with Olivia's body and rests his head against hers. “See?” she laughs, ‘I knew you could move... after all.....’ she raises an eyebrow teasingly and lets her gaze fall briefly on his crotch. Jolly leans towards her ear, “Just wait until we get back home, then I'll show you exactly HOW well I can move!” and kisses her neck tenderly.

Laughing, Olivia snuggles up to him, “Let's just have fun tonight, dance, have a drink... A date! A normal date between two normal people who love each other! PLEASE!” “Of course, min Liv!” Jolly kisses her lips and pulls Olivia close, ”Let's be just that tonight!” Jolly carries Olivia into her apartment and lays her down on the couch. “Stay here!” she giggles and kisses him on the lips. “I'll stay here... just let me lock the front door!” he smiles shaking his head as Olivia has definitely had too much to drink. When he comes back to her and sits down next to her on the couch, she reaches for the button placket of his shirt and starts to unbutton it. Smiling, he lets her do it, grabs her neck and kisses her deeply. Olivia impatiently pulls his shirt off his shoulders and then runs her hands over his bare chest, runs them down his sides, then stops and pauses in her movement. “What's that?” she wants to know, pushing him back so she can look at him. FUCK... that fucking tattoo, Jolly thinks. “Hmm, nothing else!” he tries to distract her.

“Don't bullshit me!” Olivia sits up, “Let me see, that's yet another new bandage!” “Yes.... No....” Jolly shakes his head, but then sighs and turns so that Olivia can see. Frowning, she looks at him. “A tattoo..... not by choice.... Kolja insisted on it..... his initials and his sign.....” explains Jolly. “Such an asshole......” Olivia hisses angrily. “Hmm, first he wanted me to get it on my cheekbone!” shrugs Jolly with his shoulder. Olivia looks at him speechless, then shakes her head, “We really need our new papers! You HAVE to get out of there!” “I'll call Doi on Sunday and ask!” Jolly kisses the top of her head. Olivia snuggles up to him, “I always want it to be like tonight...” she whispers. “Hmm, me too and we'll get that too, min Liv!” smiles Jolly, ”I'll make sure of that!

Groaning, Olivia pulls the comforter over her head and curls up under it, pressing her head against Jolly's chest, “Turn that fucking alarm clock off!” she croaks. Laughing, Jolly fishes for it and turns it off, then takes Olivia in his arms. “I feel sick....” she moans, ”And my head is still pounding... I'll never have another sip of alcohol!” Jolly laughs softly, “I'll make us breakfast, I'm sure you'll feel better afterwards!” “Hmm” Olivia grumbles, then looks at him, ‘Let's just stay in bed tonight!’ she looks at him pleadingly, ”I can call in sick.....” “Liv, you know I'd love nothing more than that....” sighs Jolly, ”But I have to go to the fucking engagement party. I can't NOT show up there. Even though I have absolutely no desire to!” “Say you're sick....” Olivia pleads with him. “I can't....” whispers Jolly harshly, ”I have to go there!” “Every time you're with these people, something happens. You get hurt or something....” whispers Olivia. “Not this time, I'm sure. It's just an engagement party! I have to go, stay a while and I'll be gone as soon as I can!” he assures her. “Promise me that nothing will happen to you!” Olivia looks into Jolly's eyes insistently. “I promise you!” Jolly kisses her, ”You go and have a shower, I'll make us breakfast in the meantime! And tomorrow we'll spend the whole day in bed!” “Promise?” Olivia wants to know. “Promise, min Liv!” Jolly smiles, pulls her close and kisses her deeply.

“Are you feeling better?” Jolly asks with a smile after Olivia has eaten her pancakes. “Hmm” she nods, ”A little....” “Do you want me to pick you up later?” Jolly wants to know. “Hmm” she nods, ”Although I don't know if I can leave on time today. It's always busier at the weekend!” “Never mind, I'll wait for you then!” explains Jolly and starts to clear the table. Olivia stands up, helps him, then grabs his hand, entwines her fingers in his, kisses him, “I love you!” she whispers, “More than I can say!” Moved, Jolly looks at her, gently strokes her cheek, then takes her chin in his hand and kisses her too, “You're my life, min Liv!” he whispers harshly, resting his forehead against hers. “I don't want to move...” whispers Olivia. “Hmm” smiles Jolly, ”If I could, I'd freeze this moment forever! But even if I can't, there will be thousands of moments like this!” “Will there?!” gulps Olivia, ”Swear to me!” “It will!” nods Jolly, ”You don't have to be afraid....” Olivia clings to him, “It's just.... When we're together, it's all good, but when you're away... I'm always afraid you won't come back!” “I come back, I come back every time... I can't help but keep coming back to you! You are my North Star, my Polar Star!” whispers Jolly as his lips gently kiss her neck. “Swear it!” she asks him again. “I swear to you!” Jolly kisses her. “You look elegant!” Olivia lets her eyes slide over Jolly, who is wearing a black suit, a dark gray shirt and a black tie. Black leather boots complete his outfit. He has tied his hair up in a half bun, wears his silver cross as an earring and silver rings. “You can hardly see any of the bruises!” Olivia nods as she strokes his face tenderly, ”Except for the scars!” Jolly takes her hand, kisses her fingertips, “They'll be the last!” he explains seriously, “Well, except for two!” he then qualifies. “Two new scars?” Olivia asks, frowning. “Hmm” nods Jolly, ”I want the bloody initials and marks off my skin. As soon as this is over, I'm going to remove them!” “You're not going to cut them out, are you?” Olivia looks at him in shock. Jolly shrugs his shoulder, “How else?!” “Oh, I'm not a doctor by any chance and can remove it painlessly, you idiot?!” she snarls at him. “If you would do that.....” whispers Jolly. “What do you think? Of course!” Olivia shakes her head, ”Nothing better than that! Then you'll be rid of the outward signs!” “Hmm!” nods Jolly, ‘Better today than tomorrow!’ he grumbles. Olivia looks at her watch, “You have to go!” she gulps. “Hmm, I'll pick you up from work afterwards!” he whispers, then looks into her eyes, smiles, ‘Min Liv!’ and kisses her lips tenderly.

The engagement party at Semjon's house is a typical Russian engagement party, lots of guests, lots of alcohol, loud blessings for the future bride and groom. Nadja and Sergej let themselves be celebrated. Nadja keeps showing off her sinfully expensive engagement ring, which all the women present look at, some enviously, some enthusiastically. Jolly stands on the sidelines, sipping from his bottle of beer and preferring to watch rather than be in the middle of the action. Kolja, like most of them, is drunk by now. So is Sergei, the groom-to-be, and Oleg, Nadja's father and Semjon's right-hand man. Semjon himself is probably sober, Jolly estimates, as he has hardly had anything to drink. Inga is sitting next to him, smiling and with her hand on his shoulder. The core of the Russian mafia is currently in one place.... A high risk in itself, if you look at it that way, Jolly thinks to himself. Nadja comes up to him and stands next to him.

“Nice party!” Jolly nods at her. “It could have been our engagement party!” Nadja starts again. Jolly rolls his eyes in annoyance, “Nadja.... Stop it! I'll never marry you!” “Because of her?!” she hisses immediately. “Yes!” nods Jolly, ”And because I know you.... It would never have worked out between us....” “We could have tried!” she retorts unusually fiercely and Jolly sees a tear flash in the corner of her eye, which she hastily wipes away. Jolly looks at her thoughtfully, “You always said there was nothing serious between us!” “Do you think I'm going to reveal my feelings? Let me get hurt, used like all the other women here are used?” she hisses at him. “Maybe it would have made a difference!” Jolly presses out after a while, ”I was in love with you....... In the beginning.....” Jolly admits strangely frankly. Nadja looks at him speechlessly, “In love?!” she croaks soundlessly. “Hmm” shrugs Jolly with his shoulder, ”But that doesn't matter now!” “Why didn't you say anything?” Nadja asks, stunned. “Why would I?! For the same reasons you did..... Besides, I was sure Semjon would kill me if I wanted to marry you!” explains Jolly, taking a swig from his bottle. “We could have had ANYTHING!” whispers Nadja tonelessly. Jolly shakes his head, “No... we've always had other life plans, Nadja. Don't kid yourself. It would never have worked out with us anyway!”

“You love her?” she suddenly wants to know from him again. “Yes... I do!” sighs Jolly, ”More than anything else in this fucking world. I'm happy with her, Nadja, and believe it or not, I wish you the same with Sergei from the bottom of my heart!” “I don't love him!” Nadja shakes her head. “Hmm, then use him, secure your power. You're right.... Kolja is no Semjon. Play your cards skillfully, maybe it'll be your turn soon!” explains Jolly. Nadja looks at him questioningly, “Do you know more than I do?” “Hmm, no!” Jolly shakes his head, ”I only got to spend time with Kolja...” Nadja laughs, puts her hand on his chest, “I'm really going to miss you Jolly.... Our time together!” “Wasn't the worst in all that shit!” grins Jolly. “No, definitely not!” laughs Nadja and becomes serious again, ”Take care of yourself.... Especially if you don't want to let her go. It could be dangerous for you and her!” “Thanks Nadja, I'll look after myself and her!” nods Jolly. “She's damn lucky!” Nadja chokes out and stretches up, kissing him on the lips. She takes her hands and puts them around his face. Jolly automatically puts his arm around Nadja's waist and lets the kiss happen, knowing it's a goodbye kiss. When Nadja lets go of him, tears run down her face, “I've always loved you!” she gulps. “Hmm,” nods Jolly.

“It's too late now.... I didn't think so!” she swallows again. “Nadja.... You are important to me. You'll always be important to me!” Jolly declares seriously. “That's really worth a lot to me!” Nadja nods, strokes his face one last time, then turns around, wipes the tears from her face and puts on her radiant smile again as she walks back to the other guests. Jolly looks after her with mixed feelings. Finding out that she loves him, has always loved him, is not so easy for him, as he was deeply in love with her at the beginning, which has changed over time, partly because he was never sure of her feelings. But if he had the choice between Nadja and Liv now, he wouldn't have to think about it for a second. His choice would always fall back on Liv.

He stands there lost in thought and doesn't even notice how hectic things suddenly become. It's only when Inga's shrill screams echo through the room that he looks up, startled. Jolly starts to move, pushing his way through the frozen people until he sees what is causing Inga's screams. Semjon is slumped in his chair, blood trickling from his nose and he is unconscious. Jolly himself is now frozen, his ears are ringing. He cannot comprehend what he is seeing. Is Semjon about to die? Inga sees him amidst the staring, shocked people and grabs him, shaking him “DO SOMETHING!” she yells at him, which brings Jolly out of his state of shock. “He has to go to hospital!” Jolly nods and wants to dial the emergency number.

“No, it'll take too long! You have to take him there! NOW!” Inga howls in despair. Jolly nods silently, FUCK.... The nearest hospital is the one where Liv works, he remembers off the top of his head, but all the others are far too far away. Kolja suddenly stands pale next to his father and sinks to his knees; “PAPA!” he wails, holding Semjon's hand. Jolly presses his jaws together, not knowing what to feel. Actually, he doesn't feel anything right now... except hope. Hope that this man here, to whom he owes everything bad and evil in his life, will finally die. Together with three other men, Jolly drags Semjon into his limousine. Jolly gets behind the wheel, waits until Inga and Kolja have got in and then drives off immediately. In the rear-view mirror, he can see that two other cars are following him. FUCK..... this could be a complete disaster, he fears. Especially if Olivia has to treat Semjon first, or if her colleagues recognize him as her boyfriend. FUCK!!! Inga makes a frantic phone call to Semjon's doctor, screaming at him to come to the hospital. Jolly is still clenching his jaw, hoping that Semjon will already be dead when they arrive at the hospital. But of course the bastard doesn't do him that favor.

#joakim jolly karlsson #joakim karlsson #jolly #jolly karlsson #bad omens #bad omens band #bad omens cult #joakim karlsson fanfiction #bad omens fanfiction #jolly fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

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whitewaterpaper · 1 year

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SR01: “Avgrund”. Originaltitel: Annihilation. Serie: “Södra domänen” #1 (Southern Reach #1). Författare: Jeff VanderMeer. Översättare: Jan Risheden. Publicerad: 2014 (på svenska 2018[1]). Medium: eBok/StorySide.

¡Oi! Spoilers, stavfel och alternativa fakta kan förekomma rakt föröver!

[1] Boken gavs ut 2018 av förlaget ”Fria Ligan”, E-boks- och Ljudboksversionen gavs ut av StorySide/Storytel) 2019.

Delmål/Kapitel 1.

Undrar om hypnosen här, är anledningen till minnesluckan expeditionen upplevde i filmen[2]? Jag gillar hur som helt konceptet här att vi inte får reda på så mycket om karaktärerna, utan att det fanns en ”inga band”-mentalitet bakom urvalsprocessen. I över huvud taget är det intressant med att det finns så många förhållningsregler när de väl kommit in i Område X, som om det inte skall finnas utrymme för att tänka på språng. Efter mötet med vildsvinet får jag också intrycket att det verkar spridas nästan selektiv apati i ”Biologen” (som är den karaktär vi följer). Eller är det ett utslag av instruktioner i hypnosen? Det skall bli intressant att följa det här hypnos-spåret som inte finns i filmen, och framför allt hur Psykologen använder den och om hon har en egen agenda som expeditionen inte får komma i vägen för. Framför allt nu när det verkar som om ”Biologen” blivit immun efter att ha kommit i kontakt med sporerna.

Tornet/Grottan/Tunneln de hittar är också en intressant sak – framför allt att det finns text på väg ned där. Den orationella teorin om att den hör ihop med fyren (som vi som sett filmen redan misstänker kommer bli central för upplösningen) är intressant och kanske förklarar de där sidorummen i fyren som dyker upp mot slutet.

Bra början, medryckande text/språk och jag känner att det här kommer bli en av de där böckerna i läsecirkeln vi kommer flyga fram igenom. Ströläste några rader i den engelska utgåvan och översättningen känns bra – bådar gott om man måste läsa de två resterande böckerna i serien på engelska.

[2] Jag vill minnas att Alex Garland (som regisserade filmen som baseras på boken) tog beslutet om att producera filmen som en ”dröm av boken”. Så det är fullt möjligt att hypnosen lyfts ur eller missats isf under adaptionen. Garland läste ju trots allt inte om boken.

Delmål/Kapitel 2.

Bra delmål där vi slits mellan bilderna av att Biologen både som den enda som ser klart och den överdrivet paranoida. Detta späds på efter att Antropologen passligt ”bestämde sig för att återvända hem”, helt utan sin utrustning. Det här är inget jag minns från boken (dock så tror jag ”tornet”, eller iaf en version av det, finns med i scenerna i fyren), just den här paranoida stämningen är inget jag minns förrän längre in i filmen. Vi får veta mer om Biologens bakgrund och hur hon haft en minst sagt lite speciell uppväxt. Det mesta i hennes äktenskap med maken finns också här – om än att i filmen dör inte maken i cancer[3]. Det skall bli intressant att se om vi bjuds på några överraskningar vad gällande makens öde.

Intressant att man inte inser att utrustningen är gammal förrän nu i slutet av kapitel två – i filmen var det vill jag minnas ett medvetet drag man var medveten om när man gick in. Ser nu fram emot att se vad psykologen har för sig.

[3] Intressant nog vill jag minnas att karaktären som motsvarar ”Psykologen” i filmen led av cancer.

Delmål/Kapitel 3.

Det hade man ju en känsla av redan i filmen, att Område X på något vis manipulerade besökarnas sinnen för att skydda sig självt. Och i det här kapitlet blir Biologen också medveten om att så var fallet, och att sporerna hon utsattes för kan fungera som ett skydd emot manipulationen i sig. Intressant, inte minst för att någon av de tidigare expeditionerna måste utsatts för samma sak. Och i så fall: varför – är det ett medvetet drag från någon närvaro i Område X?

Vid fyren får vi reda på en hel del intressant, bland annat att expeditionerna in i Område X är fler än de dussintalet ”vi vet om” och allt tyder på att man inledningsvis kämpade mot något som kom från havet. Psykologen lyser med sin frånvaro i större delen av kapitlet – även om vi hittar hennes packning inne i fyren. Och kapitlet avslutas snyggt med en cliffhanger där vi inser att psykologen ligger dold bakom sanddynerna utanför fyren.

Vad vi ser fram emot nu: att få veta vad Biologens make fått ned i sin loggbok, och undersöka huruvida psykologen är död eller bara medvetslös (eller något där mitt emellan, det här är Science Fiction inte Illustrerad Vetenskap). Och på sikt: om vi får en anledning till att loggböckerna gömts kvar inne i Område X, vad är det alla expeditioner blivit övertygade måste skyddas?

Delmål/Kapitel 4.

Vanligtvis när man når den här punkten i boken (med slutkapitlen kvar) så brukar man ha en känsla av att trådarna börjar knytas ihop. Jag vet inte om jag gör det just nu… Inte mer än att när det hör kapitlet är slut är Biologen den enda som finns kvar – och det stämmer med vad jag kommer ihåg av slutet på filmen.

Jag tror den är under det här kapitlet som vi för första gången stöter på uttrycket ”Södra domänen”? Det är iaf första gången jag reagerar på det och jag blir lite nyfiken på om detta är den svenska översättningen av ”Southern Reach” (seriens titel)? En snabbflukt i den engelska utgåvan visar att så mycket riktigt är fallet.

Biologen hittar inte bara psykologen liggandes nedanför fyren: hon är på något sätt, kanske pga de märkliga förhållandena inom Område X, fortfarande vid liv. Psykologen verkar ha svårt att hålla isär personer, antingen trodde hon det var biologen som var med henne ned i tunneln/tornet eller också att det är antropologen som kommit till fyren. Hon gör några försök att använda hypnos – vilket inte funkar givetvis – och nämner att Biologen var lysande när hon närmade sig fyren. Och biologen själv upplevde ju en ljushet just då. Undrar hur detta kommer följas upp för när vi närmar oss baslägret igen är hon ju direkt fluorescerande… det verkar förändra hennes sinnen också. Lite undrande blir jag om det är detta som har läckt in i filmen i form av det märkliga ljuset man ser inne i Område X där?

Uppgörelsen med lantmätaren – dels där biologen träffas av två kulor och sedan verkar tvingas överleva och dels när biologen oceremoniellt sätter en kula i huvudet på denne känns märklig. Men var nog snarare ett sätt för författaren att påvisa de förstärkta sinnena och att de inte var någon form av extacy-tripp hon är på. Vad som hände lantmätaren lär vi aldrig få veta – eftersom hon var smart nog att inte föra anteckningar. Anteckningar vi redan vet tidigare expeditioner lämnat kvar i fyren iaf.

Vad står i makens bok? Vad kommer biologen göra nu? Kommer hin möta den varelse som ömsar ansikten som ormar ömsar skinn? Är det sistnämnda det som i filmen är dubbelgångarna? Är det vad hon kommer möta? En varelse som är identisk med henne själv? Vilken av dem kommer lämna Område X i så fall?

Delmål/Kapitel 5.

Lite undrar man vilken diagnos biologen har? Aspbergers? Autism? För varje djupdykning vi får i hennes bakgrund blir man lite nyfiken på saken. Men visst får man en känsla av att hon av någon anledning valdes ut av Område X?

Det är också en intressant iakttagelse att om den föregående expeditionens medlemmar kunde återvända hem utan att detta märktes, är det ju också möjligt att andra saker tar sig ut från Område X. Det här med dubbelgångarna som nämns i boken, och används mer omfattande i filmen, öppnar ju för att det kanske inte var medlemmarna som återvände? Inblicken vi får i den elfte expeditionen genom Biologens make är intressant, är det så att det som går in i Område X för alltid förblir en del av det?

Den sista resan ned i tornet är på det hela taget intressant, Biologen genomgå något som bara kan kallas ett elddop av ”Krälaren” som sedan kastar henne åt sidan. Det faktum att Biologen senare på vägen tillbaka ser fyrvaktaren inne i ”Krälaren” väcker fler frågor.

Det känns passande på något vis att Biologen (som kämpat med att vara en social människa) stannar kvar och beger sig längre in i Område X, och att hon (liksom jag) har en känsla av att maken är kvar någonstans i Område X.

Sammanfattning.

Det här har varit en rakt igenom intressant bok, det har varit intressant att följa biologens resa genom Område X och genom hennes ögon se vad Område X gör med människor. Hela tiden med en liten brasklapp i bakhuvudet att Biologen kan vara den som är kontaminerad på riktigt.

Boken är annorlunda jämfört med filmen, men även där är det på ett bra sätt. Jag vet inte om Biologens tillbakatittar på händelser i sitt liv skulle ha funkat i en film för att ta ett exempel.

Det här är en bok som rundar av snarare än knyter ihop säcken, vi får väldigt få svar kring Område X utanför händelserna rörande själva expeditionen och snarare fler frågor. Men den lämnar mysteriet öppet på ett bra sätt, jag lämnas både suktandes efter mer (jag får då i så fall läsa de resterande två böckerna på engelska) och att jag är nöjd att stanna här.

Länkar.

Boken @ Goodreads.

Boken @ Libris.

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