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#especially before i had a vent blog
whirlybirbs · 22 days
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it’s 5:20am i cannot sleep i am consumed with thoughts and yearning for keigo takami i need to be euthanized
#literally these days all i do is Lay Awake and Wither Away#the nightmares have been exponentially worse lately#fun fact ur local fanfic author has Problems.#idk man there’s just something haunting about having reoccurring nightmares about your ex and every time u close ur eyes it’s throwing u#right back into the pit of hell that was that relationship#it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine i just no Longer Trust People#anyways this is a vent post and it is so cringe and lame#i just have never Hated an ex before so there’s a lot i’m coming to terms with especially considering how Fake he is#idek man IDEK!!!!!1!!1!1!#i rlly sacrificed so much to love and live with him and he said ‘mmmmmm now i have u in my grip’#whatever it’s fine he’s stinky and honestly the fact honey (the blog intern and my cat) doesn’t miss him AT ALL says so much#seriously she is so nonplussed by his absence it’s wild#eating fine sleeping fine shitting fine#SAYS A LOT. SAAAAYS A LOT. whatever whatever whatever#i would hit that emotionally immature man with my car if given the chance and yknow what. nick if ur reading this you’re one of the#most.#emotionally immature people ive ever had the misfortune of knowing.#what a shame you lost me#the best thing and healthiest thing that ever happened to you#because of your own actions and your own inability to take accountability for your mental health and actions#tell your mom i say hi#and tell your exes im sorry i ever doubted any of them x_x#WEEEEE what a vent#listen to big sister birbs when she says don’t date men who have something horrific to say about each of their exes
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coridallasmultipass · 3 months
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#WELPP I Cant find my blog backup and its definitely not letting me click the button i give up lmao#i got more pressing issues rn fucking alarm going off for low battery i had to fucking crawl into the crawlspace behind my aquariums...#...to get to it while i have a still injured back lmao so fucking frustrating nothing is going right for me today#i wake up to the sound of a dying cat (its our tenant that neglects them) but they drove off with it before i could go outside and inspect#i have to reschedule a medical appointment because the only 2 roads out of my town are fucked and i wont make it tomorrow#so thats another week of suffering the teeth aligners and not getting to ask the doctor if its supposed to be this painful all the time#i still have a lot of trouble eating man and now i gotta extend it another week! my jaw is so fucking bad ugh#like i have spent literal years of my life waiting not being able to do anything bc treatment is delayed or just not available#especially in my small ass fucking town there are no specialists here and i cant even get into physical therapy lmao#im having to deal w no car access for weeks now which means even if a pt place magically calls me then i still dont get to go because no ca#im gonna barely make it with one pill to spare bc i cant pick up my prescriptions either bc the walk is too far for my back#im already going without the easy to eat foods i want bc i was in too much pain to go when my mom visited#fucking hate all ths shit man im so fucking tired of living like this no one should have to suffer like this im so fucking miserable ugh#delete later / /#vent#personal#Cori.exe#Post.exe
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fuckit-ventblog · 5 months
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astroismypassion · 10 months
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Astrology observations ❇️❇️❇️
Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion
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❇️Cancer Juno often has a nagging, a bit complaining partner that demanding. I think Cancer placements will do a lot of providing and effort, however they are even more demanding in return. They will keep you safe, as long as you are doing your own part of them, which is not always an easy task.
❇️I noticed people with Libra over the 4th house (also Libra IC, IC at a Libra degree (7, 19) tend to mingle with a lot of posh people at least at some point in life. Their friends might even consider the Libra 4th house native as posh. These people often either went to the top school in the country, had the opportunities to mingle with high profile people in their younger years.
❇️Capricorn over the 4th house and Capricorn over the 7th house are few of the most regimented people I've observed. They usually had a strict school schedule that they had to keep up with, lots of clubs and extracurricular activities. They also sometimes appear a bit socially awkward due to so many schedules, like you get the feel like the person was just busy a lot of the times and didn't have as much free time as perhaps others.
❇️Pisces Moon people, especially if it's also in the 12th house and Pisces IC people have a tendency to rely on assistance. Like someone from the family, a friend, a partner. They might have been a bit co-dependent on a parent. The parent might had the need to be wanted/needed all the time, so they did things instead of the child (the Pisces native). Which ended up making the Pisces native lost, disoriented and not having the know how when left on his or her own devices. Due to this early family pattern, they are often not aware of being prone to this dynamic even with closest friends or a partner.
❇️Saturn Juno all aspects, Capricorn Juno and Capricorn Moon are types to "be married to the job".
❇️People sometimes don't read Ascendant signs well. Ascendant sign very literally indicates people that will come your way throughout your life. If you are Cancer Ascendant, be sure that a lot of people with Cancer Sun/Sun in the 4th house/Sun at Cancer degree (4, 16, 28) will pass you in this lifetime. Even mundane as a cashier at the store, buddy on your volleyball team, a person who does your nails.
❇️8th house Synastry really gets you in your feels. You might not even view yourself as emotional or needy before, but then you unleash all your emotional nature and neediness at once on that person.
❇️Speaking of 8th house Synastry don't underestimate your 8th house sign. You might think you will experience 8th house type of connection only with your 8th house sign. If you have 8th house Taurus, you might have 8th house connection with Taurus Sun, but also with the opposite sign too, such as Scorpio Sun. You are very deeply fascinated by 8th house sign, but also the opposite sign too. So if you have Cancer 8th house, you are fascinated by both Cancer and Capricorn.
❇️If you have Aquarius/Uranus in the 8th house or Uranus Pluto aspect, the people you want to establish a deep trusted bond with, be physically intimate with, might instead want to make you their best friend. People really want to be best friend with you so you can stay in their life as long as possible. These natives might on the other hand be blessed with friends that they have known for decades, like 20, 25 years.
❇️People with Libra Mars don't have a hard time channeling heartbreak into artistic masterpieces.
❇️You could have Cancer MC with your first love in the Composite chart.
❇️Friends often vent to you about their partner or they come to you for partnership/love advice if you have Libra over the 11th house or Venus in the 11th house and Libra Fama.
❇️Whenever there is Moon in the 8th house in Synastry there is a lot of attraction in the early stages, but then one (usually the Moon person) ends up feeling inferior, especially due to 8th house person being so successful.
❇️I noticed it can happen that you come back together if you started dating someone during Venus retrograde. But it's more likely you don't get back together if you decide to break up during Venus retrograde.
❇️If you have Aries over the 7th house in your Natal chart you might always have new opportunities to gain more money right after ending a partnership. You come into more money right after ending a partnership.
❇️Venus retrograde in a Natal chart of a man points to him being let down by his partner.
Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion
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wifeyoozi · 4 months
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Lee Jihoon  ✶ 𓂃   She got the Ruby
w.c : 3.0 k ┊ synopsis : Lee jihoon accidentally rizzed up a rich woman and successfully gets pegged by her┊ content warning : smut , sub jihoon, pegging , face sitting/oral sex , lowkey sugar mommy dynamic , uji and his ruby red kink (red lips + red heels + red strap)
a/n : thank you for 1k followers !! Also please remember reblogs are more helpful for the blog than just likes so please reblog! Add tags and comments to lemme know how you liked the fic!
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The first time Jihoon meets you it's at a bar. He doesn’t drink often, much less goes to a bar, but he’d been having a creative block in his studio for too long and it had got him feeling weary of his own studio and his shitty studio was that last place he wanted to be.
You were sitting alone, and he’d thought he could flirt with you. Not that he really thought he had a chance at all, you looked so gorgeous, dressed up a little too formally for a bar, but gorgeous nonetheless, and all while he was wearing an old stretched tee over ripped jeans, his impulsively bleached hair long and messy. But his pockets were light and a whiskey hit harder than local beer and he wouldn't mind using a stranger to vent.
“Hey, buy me a drink?” He tried, sliding by you. In all honesty Jihoon doesn't know a thing about flirting and picking up (only if he had listened to a bit of Mingyu's bizarre flirting lessons). He was stiff and awkward, his smile tight.
“No, why would I?” You were colder on the inside than what appeared on the surface. 
Jihoon held his hand up, “shit, sorry. I just had to try flirting once, y'know,” he said awkwardly, trying to retreat back.
“Oh,” you say, stopping him in his steps, “I didn't realise you were flirting.”
“You didn’t?” jihoon chuckles, “doesn’t it happen a lot to you? I'd find it hard to believe it if doesn't.”
“It doesn't,” you say, pulling the chair beside you to make space for him to sit. He raises his eyebrows at his own luck and slides into the seat, “what will you drink, then?”
“A whiskey sounds good,” Jihoon smiles, feeling a bit more confident now that you set the bar so low for him. You simply nod at the bartender who pours a neat glass of some expensive looking whiskey. He glances between you and the bartender, and feels the urge to stop you, “hey, that looks expensive, you don’t really have to-”
“Don’t bother the price,” you say, passing the glass to him, “you can continue flirting with me now.”
Jihoon doesn’t, infact, flirt. After just one glass of whiskey, he’s tipsy enough to spill every detail of his miserable life, from his sloppy job as a music artist and producer, to his shitty apartment at the outskirts of the city to his music block and absolute need for new inspiration. 
When Jihoon got a little too drunk, you ordered a cab for him to drop him home. 
He wasn't much of a talker usually, but alcohol in his system always made him a little weird. You had ended up knowing everything about your life. And he knew nothing but your name and the phone number you gave him.
The next morning he woke up with a hangover, still remembering last night. He tried to look up for you, in hopes of finding some social media so he knew a little more of you before he could think of contacting you.
Of everything else, he didn't expect the first thing to pop up would be a Wikipedia of your name. Oh.
Holy shit, did he just flirt with one of the richest business women in all of Korea!
He doesn't contact you after that knowledge, having read everything about you (especially your net worth). The number you gave him was probably fake too. Ugh, he'd probably embarrassed himself in front of you.
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He met you again. And again. And again.
He'd learnt that you didn't go to bars often, you were just waiting for a business partner who was supposed to meet you there, only to have cancelled last minute due to his sick wife. 
“I'm glad I waited to finish my drink.” You'd told him, making his ears and neck heat up.
You two were at a musical exhibit, where Jihoon had performed a few of his songs as the opening guest, dressed in the expensive tailored suit you bought him as you yourself dressed in a black bodycon formal dress finished with a blazer, your sleeves rolled up. 
You'd bought him a rare expensive vinyl CD of his favourite Bruno Mars album. 
“I can't take that, it's too costly,” he said. He didn't want you to think that he was friends with you just for your money, because he really wasn't. “Besides, I don't have a vinyl player.”
“I do,” You say nonchalantly, “you can come over and listen to it whenever you like.”
That isn't the only thing you buy for him. Every time he tries to nod you off for it being too expensive or too big for his place, you'd take it to yours. So he had naturally ended up spending a lot of time at your penthouse. It was big and spacious and you'd told him there was enough space to fit in all his musical accessories that he couldn't keep at his own apartment.
He'd come there often after finishing his work at studio. He'd been inspired lately, writing different songs and making new beats every now and then. He'd even send you a few samples for you to review. 
“It sounds amazing,” you'd said as you pulled off his headphones, “what's the title?”
“Haven't thought of it yet. The chorus is still kinda funky. Once I get it the lyrics right, I'll have a title,” he said. 
He often thought his hoodies and electric guitars and the drum set and all the vinyls and vintage albums you bought him didn't fit your house aesthetic. But you never said anything about it.
He's eating dinner with you now at yet another expensive and fancy restaurant you took him to. He thinks you look gorgeous. Really gorgeous. Just out-of-his-league gorgeous. Your silky slip red dress and red lipstick and matching red heals did things to his heart (and dick) he couldn't explain. 
He just wants to bed you so bad. He wants you to fuck him so bad. 
He watches as you order another bottle of champagne for the two of you. He should feel more guilty, he thinks, for taking so much from you. Instead, he feels comfortable and pleased. He's always been the provider and the protector in any of his previous relationships – not that he minded to be the same with you, but it felt good to be taken care of once instead. He feels safe around you, and happy as well, and he's not an easy talk, but you hear him talk whenever he talks too. And he doesn't know what he must have done to get someone as perfect as you in his life.
“Hey, why do you like me,” he'd said impulsively, “why me?”
You could have had anyone you want in this world. Jihoon firmly believed that, with not only your wealth but for how beautiful you were, inside and out. He thinks you don't realise that, but he knows it.
You look up at him, lips opening and closing slightly, before speaking, “would you… like to come home with me tonight?”
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Jihoon's back hit the wall as soon as you two reached the bedroom of your penthouse, his lips feverishly kissing yours. You were strong – not stronger than him, but you also made him feel weak. You pinned him against the wall, your one hand holding two of his above his head as the other reached to hold a handful of his hair. 
He'd moan in your mouth every time you'd tug a little too hard. He loved it. He loves how you tower over him in your 4-inches red high heels. He's usually very dominant in bed, but you make him feel so submissive. 
He feels dumbbed out by the kiss when you pull away, panting as you place butterfly kisses over his jaw and neck. “Shit, y/n, I want you so bad,” he whispered against your hair.
“Will you strip for me, baby?”
Jihoon would do anything for you if you call him baby in your sweet, seductive voice. You leave his hands so he can help himself, unbuttoning the silk black shirt (that you bought for him), carelessly pulling them off his shoulders and yanking them off to the floor. He undid his trousers and pulled them down to his thighs, letting gravity do the rest of the work, all while you nibbled over the skin of his neck.
“These too, baby boy,” you said, tapping on his black CK boxer briefs. Shyly, but surely, Jihoon let go of those too, now completely bare in front of you. You looked down at him, your hand ghosting over the curves of his body, making Jihoon shiver. He could feels your stare over his dick, which had gotten half hard already. You rest your hand over his abs, meeting his eyes again, “Shit, you're so pretty, hoon.”
He wanted to say you were prettier, but his voice was stuck in his throat. You pressed another kiss on his lips before taking his hand and bringing him to your bed, making him sit on the edge. You stripped for him next, giving him a full show as you slipped off your dress, your matching black lace lingerie a sight to his eyes. He immediately put his hand to the back of your knee to pull you on the bed on top of him, but you pullled back, chuckling at him.
“Patience, my baby boy.”
Jihoon let out a shaky breath, pulling his hand back to himself as he watched you undo your bra and let it slip down your shoulders and onto the floor. His mouth watered at sight of your breasts, soft and heavy and perfectly shaped. He held himself back from touching you, even as his cock was completely hard against his torso by now. Your panties came down next, and when you bent down to take off your heels, he stopped you by your wrists, “c-can you not take them off yet?” he asked you, then added in a sweeter voice, “please?”
There was a smile on your face. “Of course, anything for my baby.”
Jihoon’s cheeks grew red a little again, and he looked up at you expectantly.
“What do you want, hoonie?” you cooed softly, cupping his cheek in your right hand, brushing a thumb on it slowly.
“I-i want you,” jihoon said shyly, embarrassed at stuttering the way he did. 
You laugh at him. “You want me? You are gonna have to earn it baby.”
You gently guided his face to your crotch, lifting your one leg up on the bed to give him access. For jihoon, it was nothing short of a dream come true, to have his face smushed over the paradise of your pussy. He held your juicy thighs for support, as he licked a stripe between your folds. In return, he felt your grip on his hair tightening, pulling against his scalp. He was lapping you up like a dog after that. You were wet. So wet. And he wanted to drink all of your juices.
You were moaning softly above him as pushed you by your thighs closer to his face, sliding a tongue into your heat as his nose pressed against your clit. He couldnt help but want more. It wasn’t his fault, you had conditioned him to want the best of everything by spoiling him like that. 
“Baby, can you sit on my face?” he asked, looking up at you with hooded eyes, and you nodded in a yes immediately. He let his body fall back on the bed and you scooted over to his head. You were still holding yourself up, trying not to squish his face. But jihoon wanted exactly for you to squish his face down, to be pressed against your pussy till he couldn’t breathe. So he pulled your thighs down so you were sitting on his face like it was a fucking stool.
He heard you gasp a little when his tongue was right back at action. He suckled on your clit a little, not enough to drive you over the edge, but just enough to make you moan above him. He put his tongue back in its place inside your vagina and he suddenly wished he had two tongues so he could simultaneously fuck you with one and play with your clit with the other. Unfortunately, he didn’t have that choice, so he simply settled on performing the best oral he ever has eith only one tongue.
His pace wasn’t too fast, so to make your experience last longer and better, but not so slow it would be annoying for you. It was the perfect pace to get you moaning. When he felt your thighs start to shake a little, he knew you were close. He put his mouth over your clit once again, sucking harder to ride you to your high, until you were wetting his face with your cum. Fuck, he couldn’t believe he made you squirt for his first time.
You scooted back to sit on his chest now, stabilizing yourself after the amazing orgasm jihoon gave you. He rubbed comforting small and warm circles on your thighs, until you were down from you high, looking down at him with a satisfied smile. 
“was I good?”
“So good, baby,” you say, leaning down to kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips. “Gon’ make you feel s’good,” you say against his lips. 
You both reposistion so that jihoon was lying down straight on the bed,his head supported by your pillows as you hovered on top of him, your knees encaging either sides of his hips. You kissed him again, your tongue finding it's way in his mouth, making him gasp, his hands gripping your shoulders with need. 
“Are you sure you want me to fuck you?” You ask gently.
“Yes.” 
“Have you ever done this before?”
“Mh,” Jihoon nods. He usually dominates his way in bed. He's good at it, doing all the work add giving his partners complete pleasure. But he's taken it before, and he can take it now too. He wants to take it. He wants to take you. “I want you so bad, y/n.” 
He doesn't know how you do it, make him feel all weak and submissive for you. He waits patiently as you climb off him to get your strap-on. His palms are sweating and his cock is as hard as it can be as he watched you put on the harness. He didn't think someone could look as elegant and beautiful as you did while putting on a strap on.
The silicon end of the strap was a hot angry red, and matched with the red heels you still wore and your red lips intact from the smudge-proof lipstick makes Jihoon want to moan just looking at you. It's impossible for any being to look as sexy as you did at that moment. When you climbed back on the bed, pulling a lube bottle from the night table, his mouth almost watered at the sight of you.
You got between his legs, pulling his knees to either side of your hips so his ass was raised just enough for you to slip a hand under. You coated your fingers with an adequate amount of lube before circling his puckering hole, slipping in a digit. It made Jihoon arch his back with a moan muffled by his arm covering his mouth. 
He'd cleaned himself before meeting you, but he was still tight. Your fingers were gentle, easing him at a comfortable pace. You leaned back down to his neck, nipping over the skin to mark your territory. You pushed his arm from his mouth, “let me hear you, beautiful.” 
Jihoon was very vocal in bed, more so when he was submissive. Your fingers felt amazing on him. When he eased around one, you pushed another finger in, your hand caressing his thighs comfortingly. 
Your fingers curled inside him, close enough to his prostate, making him whimper your name. You move up again, hungry for his lips, kissing him messily and sloppily as he moans against your mouth. 
“Baby, do you think you're ready yet?” You ask him and he nods positively. Your silicone cock is big, bigger than him probably, but he thinks he could take you now. Besides, he'd like a little stretch of it too.
You smile against his lips, taking out your fingers and coating your cock with more lube. You enter the tip first, watching the man under you press his face into the pillow beside him, his drool sticking out as he moaned, taking the rest of it too. He relaxed around it, giving you a go to move.
You slam your hips against his, earning another loud sound from him. You couldn't care less about making noise, you lived in a penthouse with thick walls. You wanted to hear Jihoon moan and whimper your name, drink in his sweet noises. 
As you accelerated the pace, Jihoon arched his back, whimpering little ah-ah-ah’s, clutching the bedsheets under him you held his thighs up, hosting his right knee on your shoulder to get the perfect angle to get to his prostate every time. 
You loved the way Jihoon fell apart under you. You could tell he was close already, so you take hold of his leaking cock, giving it attention it needed finally. Not long after Jihoon is shooting white ropes all over his stomach, breathing heavily. 
You bend down and kiss the satisfied smile on his lips, slowly exiting him as he relaxed down there. You took a few tissues from the night table and cleaned up Jihoon and yourself lazily before taking off your strap and heels. You lied down beside him, pulling a blanket over the two of you. You didn't need to be told that Jihoon wanted to cuddle, so you slipped on top of him yourself, resting your cheek against his shoulder and wrapping a hand around his waist.
“Felt good, baby?”
“Mm, s’good,” Jihoon sighed, hugging you tighter. Tonight was indeed productive. Not only did Jihoon get fucked up so good after so long, but he was also inspired by you(r red cock) and finally had a name for the track he'd been working on lately: Ruby.
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voidzphere · 6 months
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☆ MASTERPOST // INTRO !!!
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[ ALL THE BLOGZ I RUN: @killzbitezz (sideblog) @killersanz (killer sans askblog) @dailykillerr (daily killer sans that i have not posted on yet erm) ]
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
╭───────────── * ˚ ✦
HII !! im killer, but my friendz + mootz call me killz !! welcome to my blog ^_^ i luvv my prtnerz !! @mewobrute @sharkk-fin @glitchy-skull <3 (more stuff under the cut!!)
╰───────────── ✧.* ⋆
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✩ ABOUT ME !!! >_<
FIRST OFF, HERE ARE SOME OF MY FLAGZ !!! :3 ↓↓↓
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my main prnz are he/it/bite, but i alzo use vamp/fang/bone/skull/blood/gore/knife ! (plz dont refer 2 me w they/them)
my special interest is undertale + utmv ! (if that waznt obv enough..)
i love love LOVE horror gamez .. some of my favz rn are kinitopet, imscared, house, ddlc, rental, and bonnie's bakery :]
I HAVE A PERSONA ! u can find itz ref sheet here :] i uzually draw myself as either him or juzt killer sans !!
I LOOOVE MY MOOTZ, FRIENDZ, AND PARTNERZ <333
some of my current hyperfixationz are fionna & cake, smg4, regretevator, atsv, invader zim, adventure time & dialtown !
i have a guestbook !! leave a little note for me to read if u want :3
some of my fav bandz/artistz are talking heads, misfits, bad brains, rio romeo, lemon demon, will wood, pixies, melanie martinez, alex g, 6arelyhuman, goreshit, sex pistols, potsu, the living tombstone, etc. !
some of my fav songz are alien blues, vampire culture, laplace's angel, dr sunshine is dead, seriously?, genius of love, at the movies, charlie's inferno, etc. !
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✩ my tagz !
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#killz art - my art !! :3
#killz rb - reblogz
#killz yapz - my yap sessionz
#killz answerz - answerz to my askz
#vent kinda - my (kinda) ventz
#tag/ask game - self-explanatory
#killersanz - stuff related to my killer sans ask blog !
#killz fingie doodlez - stuff i drew w my finger :3
#killz srb - self reblogz
#killz sans - my sonaaa ^_^
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✩ dni
basic dni criteria
istz + phobez
epiciller, /r + /sx errorink, etc.
pro/dark/comship (or whatever you call your weirdo selvez..)
irl doublez (unless i knew u beforehand!!) (im irlz of killer, reaper, & epic.)
minorz who post nsfw cuz ion wanna see that shit man go do ur homework
slander of my interestz/special interestz + hyperfixationz like stfu
mockery of me and/or my traitz (i.e my typing quirkz)
unwanted criticism, especially if i didnt ask for it. stfu part 2
anyone i've had drama with + my exez (fuck you)
HOMESTUCK. and hazbin hotel + helluva boss (tbh i dont rlly care if you like these mediaz and interact with me, just dont talk abt it in front of me yknow)
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✩ byi + boundariez
i have autism + adhd, BPD, & typing quirkz !! tone indicatorz are optional when talking to me, but i appreciate them.
i'm an irl + fictkin ! i have a few c-linkz as well.
im not a roleplay account btw /srs
my art requestz are alwayz open ! can't promise i'll alwayz do them, but they help me out with inspiration though :3
DO NOT REPOST MY ART. i will find you
if you use my art, credit me. you dont alwayz gotta ask me before usin my art, but i appreciate it if you do !!
my askbox + dmz are alwayz open !! i love meetin new people n gettin to know em :] im fine w tagz, commentz, & spam-likez/reblogz too !
i might accidentally spam-like (i get too excited).
just because i make suggestive jokez and im hypersexual doez not mean i'm not sex-replused from time to time.
im a DID system and use i/me pronounz. i don't talk about my DID often becauze i see it as unimportant to other ppl.
i'm nonhuman !! plz do not refer to me as human. i prefer skeleton termz over everything else. im ur favorite homozexual cryptid-skeleton :3
i tend to ramble, say thingz that are out-of-pocket, have trouble with volume control/typing in all capz, make inappropriate jokez, flirt with & tease my close friendz, etc. if u ever find any of this bothering, plz inform me and i will stop.
i love drama + gossip, i will argue with strangerz on the internet just to spite them bc i find it funny ^_^ (only if theyre in the wrong and deserve it.)
i have strong opinionz and will shit-talk you if you're a weirdo who deservez it.
my blog, my rulez <3
★ last updated: 9/13/24
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shipmansflannels · 5 months
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"who asked first" with the yellowjackets
yay! I'm back! the decision to open a new blog just for yellowjackets wasn't easy at all, but since it's been a year since this obsession has barely gone away and I already had an extremely confusing blog with layouts and the like, I wanted to start over with this one. hope you like it. I'll make a very simple and small prompt first, and then I'll make the masterlist and the oneshots/fanfics. stay tuned! sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!
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who asked first with the yellowjackets girls...
jackie taylor.
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well, if we're going to be honest here, you definitely asked first.
of course, jackie had already been rehearsing for weeks how he would ask you out. but she's obviously a girlfaillure, so you definitely asked first.
it was probably when she least expected it. it could be at soccer practice, or when you were coming home from school together and you had the audacity to ask her to go out with her to some hypothetical and boring place in the middle of the street… whatever.
all I know is that this little loser was eager for you to ask, and she definitely rolled out the classic, "took you too long…"
shauna shipman.
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again, you asked first.
shauna doesn't have the social tact to ask you out (she's just like me), and drunk is even worse, so you actually had to make the first move most of the time.
just like jackie, it could have been when she was at soccer practice, or when she was alone enough to vent to her journal and you were able to get close to her without scaring her. anyway, the thing is, shauna was already secretly expecting this to happen (a lot of her journal pages were about you btw), so it wasn't a surprise either when you asked her out.
despite everything, you didn't have any difficulties on your first date. she's pleasant company, I suppose.
natalie scatorccio.
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one of the rare exceptions where she asked first.
okay, don't be fooled, either. natalie is very cocky from time to time, but asking to go out with you is definitely one of the times she tends to weaken. so, kevyn probably dared her to do it and she just took advantage of her cooler personality to use it on you.
but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. in fact, it's kind of a good thing (and probably depressing for her) because she only felt like herself when she asked you. I see in nat a huge tendency to ignore some of her feelings, especially when it comes to people she likes.
the invitation was probably also full of teasing on her part, from body language to the words used for it. and somehow she made it look cool and convinced you to accept it.
things that only natalie scatorccio could do.
lottie matthews.
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for some reason, I'm 100% sure you asked first.
I know many of us think of lottie as a completely carefree, liberal and often bitchy enough person to ask someone out on a date. but, if we count the pre-crash, I think she was a very insecure person and uncertain of her feelings, more due to the influence of the pills.
so, as incredible as it sounds, you asked first. it was in an extremely relaxed conversation between you that the invitation ended up unintentionally, and she was visibly panicked when she agreed.
lottie is probably the type of person who has a rehearsed speech in front of the mirror while getting ready, and with her enviable style and expensive clothes (some stolen), she would do anything to make your date the perfect date.
taissa turner.
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she asked first.
taissa is confident enough to ask you out, I have no doubt about that. but she definitely spent weeks planning the perfect invitation, just in case everything went wrong and she needed to run (just like what happened when she thought about breaking allie's leg before nationals).
anyway, taissa would certainly ask first and it would be quite a surprise for you. taking into account that, from the moment you accepted, you would discover that van also knew about her friend's ideas, and later that half of the team also knew. it would be a shock because you wouldn't understand tai's intentions at first.
but none of them are necessarily bad. one, is that tai was really excited if you accepted, and her anxiety couldn't stop her from wanting to tell the world. two, because she was overly excited that you had agreed to go out with her, and wanted the world to know it as well.
van palmer.
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as much as I would really like to prove otherwise, you asked first.
van has the same problem as lottie, but in her case, it's excessively because of the sarcasm jokes and high charisma. she thinks she's being too much for you and that asking for something like that on this level would end up scaring you away.
in the end, it's totally the opposite, but it's going to take van a long time to figure that out, specifically. the invitation would happen when she least expected it, probably when you were feeling confident enough to pass notes to her during classes.
it's a cute invitation, and one that van would hold in question for a long, long time.
misty quigley.
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there would be no other answer. she asked first.
misty has no shame in admitting that she has a crush on you. and of course, to ask you out on a date, this shame decreases even more. she doesn't even care if she will be made fun of by her colleagues, what really matters is that she planned everything for you to accept.
and when I say everything, it really means everything.
from the moment she will slide up to your table and quietly ask if you accept, to the tone of voice she will use to persuade your brain to accept, to the place she will take you hand in hand and then let it slide. … she literally thought of every detail.
and, well, knowing misty quigley's ability to create plans, the whole thing worked out… until you figured it all out and admitted that you liked it even more, much to her surprise.
laura lee.
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you asked first, of course. there would be no other answer either.
of course, not ruling out the possibility of laura lee asking first, given her hidden impulsive personality, but, in this case, taking the obviousness into account, you asked, and had to be careful with every line said in the invitation.
of course, it needed to be at a time when you were alone, because you were afraid that pressure from other people would make you feel suffocated. this, of course, did not happen. she thought it was a classic weekend outing, like you guys usually did, until she realized your real intentions.
and, truly, at no point did it make her feel restrained or scared. she was ready to be vulnerable and be herself around you, no matter what.
(but, if you casually ask lottie at some point, she will definitely claim that she saw laura lee rehearsing some speeches and compliments for you in the locker room mirror…)
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fcthots · 1 year
Note
god… corruption kink with jason. he wants to be the one fucking you and making you make obscene noises. especially if reader is like really kind or sweet or something. he wants that all to himself and he wants to fuck you good.
especially if he’s really good friends with reader and you mention you’re a virgin. hed be thinking about that all night. he feels so bad about it— a guy like him shouldn’t want to ruin a pretty, innocent girl like you— but you’d look so pretty taking his cock.
-🧸
(ps. love the blog!! keep up the good work)
I can also make you a standalone w this premise if you’d prefer that
But in the meantime: ADDIND THE TO THE TATTOOARTIST!JASON UNIVERSE!!!! Part one here!
After that first time Jason met you, you two were inseparable. You could now just freely walk into Wayne Manor without anyone questioning it. The longest you two have gone without hanging out is 5 days over the past many months. That was a tough week. You have a drawer at his place (and it becomes a running joke) from the amount of times you have fallen asleep on his couch, but he always picks you up and puts you on his bed. It started one night when Jason had a nightmare and you cuddled him out of his panic and back to sleep. Since then, you just share the bed.
And it is killing Jason. He fell in love with you from the first day he met you, and you’re just so sweet. You hold his hand in public, even if you aren’t dating (don’t get him started on the press). You let him nap on you all the time. You massage his sore shoulders. You let him vent about his job when he has a bad client. He wants to be with you so bad, it’s killing him.
But Jason would do anything for you, including wait for you. He can wait. He will wait. He can do this.
You’re sitting on his couch, laying with your back against his chest. He has one arm over your torso and the other hand running through your hair. The TV is playing your favorite shitty sit-com, and Jason finds it so weirdly attractive that you’ve seen it a thousand times, but still laugh at all the dumb jokes. Sue him, it’s endearing. He isn’t much paying attention to the show, though; he’s too focused on you.
He zones back in when he hears the TV say the words “the first time is always the worst time” out of context. He can’t help himself, it’s funny. He thinks his joke is hilarious.
He smiles. “False. I’ve had much worse times than my first time.” He feels your laughter on his bare chest. A beat of silence. “What about you? Was your first the worst?” He figures you’ll agree, that’s probably why you didn’t respond: your first must have sucked.
“Actually I’m a virgin.” Jason really hopes you don’t hear or feel his heart beating against your head.
“Ok well what about a hand job?” Maybe that wasn’t the most platonic thing to ask, but fuck, Jason was really wanting to know how wide eyed you would be if he gave you a hand job. He could slip his hand into your waistband right now and-
You laugh. “That’s what she said. But, no, no one’s touched me but myself.” He sees your face go red.
His brain stops. “Nothin wrong that.” He wants to be your first. He wants it so bad. It’s all he can think about. He wants you sitting all pretty on his cock. Fuck.
He can’t stop his imagination. He’ll make your first the best you’ll ever have. But you’re so innocent and he really shouldn’t think about his friend this way… but fuck you’d look perfect taking his cock. You’d whine at the way it felt, all stretched out for the first time, and you’d ask him to hold your hand. He’d praise you all the way through, making sure to tell you how good you are for him, how good you feel. He’d make you feel so good, you’d be babbling nothing but nonsense and maybe his name. He’d watch all the thoughts disappear from your eyes as he made you feel so fucking good. He can’t get the image out of his head, of you whining for him as you take his cock.
He makes up some flimsy excuse about going to the bathroom before you can feel him hardening into your back. He gets up, goes to the bathroom and splashes water onto his face.
Fuck.
You’re so innocent and that shouldn’t turn him on more but his breathing is getting heavier. And he shouldn’t think about you, his friend, that way. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t be turned on and thinking about fucking his closest friend. But how would you react? What little noises would you make when he touched your virgin clit? Would you moan as his fingers worked you open, so much longer, bigger than your own.
Fuck.
Part 3
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bberetd · 1 month
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Mario and Daisy Headcanons
Currently on the road to go on vacation for the next week (and then go back to uni two days later 🫠) so I decided to take some time to write up some headcanons for Mario and Daisy! They’re a lot fun to draw, and just as much to write ☺️ I was originally going to pair it with the short ‘prologue’ story I had for them, but it got too long, so I’m gonna have it separate.
@vulpixfairy1985 @kelbreyworshipper @peaches2217 @itsavee4117 @supergay-64 @megamagimugi @pinkcreamypeach @wahooitsamee @silenzahra (when you’re ready <3) @mikibaby94 and @akiiame-blog I think you guys will like these 🤭
==
Meeting Each Other
• In their first few months of knowing each other, Daisy absolutely THRIVED on getting a rise out of Mario. “It’s funny seeing tiny people mad,” her reasoning was. It was always a good day for her, but it was a GREAT day when a vein was popping out of his forehead.
◦ Of course because everything is a game to Miss Daisy 😗
• The two had a rocky start… well, more on Mario’s end; Daisy was just there for a good time. For the most part, he remained civil towards her because she was Peach’s best friend and Luigi seemed to really like her (somehow).
• Not that Mario could never handle the truth, but to him, Daisy was ALARMINGLY blunt, ESPECIALLY around him, and had energy like he’s never seen before.
• What made him uneasy about her was how she interacted with people. She’s a physically affectionate person, so she’d do little things like shoulder punches/shakes, arm around the shoulder, hand on shoulder, playful pokes, etc. this was especially the case for Luigi, adding on spontaneous hugs, sometimes in the air.
◦ Luigi had to assure Mario over and over that he wasn’t uncomfortable, but the deep shade of red on his face around her convinced him otherwise.
◦ What made Mario snap was when she took Luigi on a solo tour around Sarasaland, but unintentionally got him badly hurt (more on this here), and immediately wanted nothing to do with her, no exceptions.
◦ Despite her questionable ways of showing affection, Daisy grew to genuinely like the bros, so she was disheartened when she heard the news. She wrote several letters to explain herself to give to Peach so she could give to Mario, but he was having none of it.
◦ A month after Luigi fully healed, Mario thought that maybe he was too harsh, but he still kept his distance.
• [insert event where Luigi is in trouble and they come together and bond over how much they care about him and learn a little more about each other in the process but NOT THERE YET… but at least Mario can stand to be around her again]
• What DOES make them closer is their love for sports and hands-on activities. Daisy is more eager to get her hands dirty unlike Peach, and unlike Luigi who would be more reluctant and stand behind Mario most of the time (of course the company is always appreciated)
◦ What starts off as a mission to annoy Mario (affectionate) turns into hours of cracking jokes, banter, life vents learning more from each other (whether it was what they were doing in the moment, from life or both).
Nicknames
• Mario’s nicknames for Daisy are Testa di spina (thornhead), D, Firecracker, Sriracha Queen, Crazy Daisy (more frequently when they were just meeting), and Petals
• Daisy’s nicknames for Mario are Red, Shortie, Short stack, SuperBoy, Fire hydrant, teletubby, Mawio, Mar-maid Man, Mustachio, Cap’n Lou (ironic right? also if you know you know), and Stimpy
Misc Headcanons
When these two work together in sports, they are a FORCE. They’re both jack of all trades on the field and on the racetrack.
When competing against each other however, it’s war. No mercy, no going easy on each other, but it brings out the best in them. Just to show respect and a sign of leaving their rivalry on the field, they do a long handshake.
Mario: *breathes*
Daisy: YOU’RE SHORT
and she’ll never go a day without letting him know it, but finds a unique way to show it each day.
They’re THE best hug givers. Mario and Daisy are incredibly warm people (Mario with his firebrand and Daisy ruling in a bright and humid environment). Mario’s stocky, so he’ll completely cover you with his love and warmth (and there’s plenty of him to hug in return), while Daisy’s hugs are tight but meaningful.
When these two hug each other, uh, let’s just hope they don’t squeeze the life out of each other 😅 they’re so competitive that they even need to compare who hugs better (creds to @teegeeteegee)
[Luigi and Peach walking and talking, then spotting Mario and Daisy either hugging or choking each other]
Peach: …What are you guys doing?
Daisy, not moving her head: We’re hugging, duh.
Peach: Why? (Not used to seeing the two showing this much affection to each other)
Mario: To see which of us hug better.
[L&P share a glance]
Luigi: Do you guys wanna, you know… unhug?
Mario and Daisy, realizing how nice the hug feels: …nah.
They’re partners in crime! They love pulling pranks on the koopas, goombas and other baddies, and maybe a harmless prank or two on the Toads and citizens over in Sarasaland.
It would take a near-death experience for either of them to ever say an emotional “I love you” to each other. At least Daisy mostly; Mario is more willing to say it. Daisy would usually say it lightheartedly (ex. “love ya!” followed by a punch to the shoulder or “you too” when Mario expresses his love out of habit). But they do show their care/love for each other through actions.
Mario knows Daisy is far from a princess who needs saving, but he still can’t help but have the need to protect her when the time comes.
Oh, and if you insult or hurt Mario, you better hope Daisy isn’t standing within a ten-mile radius with a steel chair.
Daisy loves to mess up Mario’s hair beyond recognition, while Mario loves to come up behind her and poke her sides (i imagine her making the “ah!” noise if you know, if not then this at 0:35)
When they feel playful, they talk to each other in funny accents.
==
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creepy-friday · 1 year
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Just came across your blog and I ended up binge-reading everything! I'm in love with the way you write the characters, specially the Proxies. And the female Proxy is definetly my favourite👌.
How it would be if, instead of being Slender's trusted minion and already a experienced Proxy, she was a newbie and fresh meat? Kinda like Cody, younger and dragged there with little to no choice because the Operator saw potential in them. Would the dynamics change, since she doesn't have a high rank to rely on?
Maybe Brian is appointed as her mentor and he gets advantage of her inexperience by corrupting her?
I'M VERY GLAD YOU ENJOY MY BLOG💖
Creepypasta Proxies x Newbie!Female Proxy
The overbearing silence after the buzzing static faded away was bringing in a new damned life.It's been a month since you were bought here,locked in your room until The Operator decided it was enough for you to settle in
It was time for you to meet again with the masked men that dragged you here-the same killers that were supposed to be your team, "allies" even
Every resident was looking down on you,even EJ that pitied you and looked at you with mercy behind his blue mask.The first time you had to pay a visit to his clinic he even asked if you are scared because deep down,his instinct made him to enjoy it
The harassing is real,but this time it's more dangerous.Remember,you're a helpless outsider in a place full of rapists,killers and awful fantasies.Walking down dark hallways is always in a hurry,same as eating and showering.
Since Brian was assigned to your ass,you're almost totally saved and worry free next to him,but he's also a piece of shit
He sees your potential,after all, if The Operator views you as valuable-then you're most certainly priceless.
He's a gentle guy,takes his sweet sweet time to teach you everything you need to know.
Sure,he respects you,but during training sessions he will do everything in his power to get you under him,sort of helpless.
"See,it's not that hard" he breathed out as he guided your hands on the right places "if you ever happen to find yourself in this position you know what to do now,right?" he smiled in a gentle manner,slowly standing up from above you,taking you by your hand with him."Do you want to reverse the roles?"
He will defend your name even if you are in the wrong during proxy meetings.He will keep on bringing up how fucked up all of them felt when they arrived there,and this point always works.(more or less for Masky)He knows how to pull the strings when he wants to
You already know the drill,Masky is a menace to work with,especially with newbies.Don't get me wrong,he doesn't expect you to be fully prepared to know shit,he enjoys having you dumb,but he will always make you feel like shit,he will try his best to bring a pained expression to your face because it makes him feel better and he's bored of Toby
Definitely uses you as a vent chat,no restrictions for him,from inventing some fucked up story to telling you about his miserable life from before the mansion and during the present since he doesn't expect you to stay
The only time he stops is when his friend gives him the sign.It's crazy,but he respects Brian more than he cares about breaking some of your lovely bones
Toby was more than glad to know another woman "joined in",especially since you're new and vulnerable,he now has the chance to look out for someone and to be needed
Altough Toby was the most unusual individual,Cody was the one to give you the creeps most of the times.And he does it on purpose
Since he's no longer the fresh meat everyone looks down to,he feels superior that now he has you around
He wouldn't bully you or make you feel bad on purpose, but he will definitely baby you around A LOT
Kate is complicated.She doesn't talk,she doesn't look at you,she doesn't make any effort to teach nor to train you.She looks down on you,and the only time she will open her mouth is to either tell you to stop what you're doing or to answer any of your questions with a phrase so vague it will make you have even more questions
Time is precious,so don't waste it.Every hour can be spent becoming stronger,but also every hour goes by terribly slow when around every fucking corner someone is gawking their eyes at you
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mozzaremi · 2 years
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finally working on the ghost hunter au that i started a few months ago (?), but i did a complete rehaul on the concept
INFODUMP:
(okok, english isn't my first language and i'll probably edit out grammar mistakes when i'll find them, so please bare with me lol)
Initially, Aubrey and Kel meet as internet pen-pals, both share an interest in horror and all things creepy (tho aubrey prefers the creepy but cute stuff). While Aubrey is more of a casual fan, Kel is a full on enjoyer of anything and everything that's spooky: horror movies, creepy stories, and especially the ghost stuff.
Kel would always share to Aubrey about his fantasies of being a professional ghost hunter and maybe having a tv show all about his and Aubrey's adventures in the paranormal world.
Aubrey and Kel both live in the big city, tho Aubrey often visits Faraway as that's where her mother resides. She would often meet up a friend of her's named Basil: a shy guy who's really interested photography and everything related to plants. While hanging out with the flower boy, Aubrey would frequently do Basil's hair and makeup, later on he picks up some neat beauty tips from her that allowed him to explore his style. The visits to Faraway wouldn't last long, only being there for the weekends and holidays before she'd have to go back to her dad in the city.
Eventually Kel and Aubrey make a blog for Ghost hunting. Their content on there is amateur at best, but they gain a loyal following of other ghost enthusiasts, and non enthusiast, mostly just people who really enjoy kel and aubrey's friendship dynamic and their banter.
In their endevours, they would earn a loyal hater, who goes by "The Maverick" who would nickpick any and all instances of paranormal activity. Although sounding pompous and theatrical, he always finds reasonable proof to debunk all their findings.
Skip a few years, Back in faraway basil has to deal with the grief of his grandmother's passing, he would often stay at the graveyard just to mourn. The graveyard in faraway was infamous for having an unknown being living there, no one knowing if it's human and harmless or something paranormal and dangerous. No one has ever been able to get photo evidence of the entity, so they are more often percieved as an urban legend.
One foggy evening, Basil was back at the graveyard, doing his usual mourning session, when something sat besides him on a bench. Eyes full of tears, he didn't dare to face the person, so he continued with what he was doing. Eventually the person(?) starts asking questions to get Basil to vent to him and maybe calm him down and it works. Felling a little bit better Basil faces the person to see a guy his age in a very strange outfit. Once he got a better look at him, he jumped off the bench realising it's the fabled ghost boy of the graveyard. He runs away, but notes the fact that guy he talked to was very nice...
After that, he starts believing in a life after death, and his grief lessens knowing that possibly his grandmother is in a better place
Basil finds out about Aubrey and Kel making a ghost blog, there the two would film themselves searching through abandoned areas to find ghosts... or something, anything really. While they never found anything scary, they had a very good duo dynamic and Basil became somewhat of a fan of theirs. Basil noticed the poor video quality due to it being recorded on a crappy phone (android lol) and it inspired him to purchase a video camera.
When Aubrey visits Faraway again, he offers his cameraman services to her and she agrees. She introduces Basil to Kel and they all hit it off.
One day, when Aubrey and Kel are feeling hopeless of their Ghost Hunting adventure, Basil tells them the time he met a ghost in the graveyard back in faraway. They both take his word for it.
They get Hero to drive them to faraway, Hero who is a Uni dropout, he really doesn't have anything better to do besides taking up odd jobs to pay rent. He has saved a lot of money throughout the years of being uni-free and working at basically every retail job in the city, so the though of having a road-trip didn't bother him.
Once they are at the town of faraway, Hero hands them a packed lunch, and the gang is off to find a ghost! Being in the graveyard, things felt fruitless, not a lot of things were happening besides the fog that started to form. Kel got tired and started reaching for his bag to get the sandwich that Hero packed him. But there was a problem... there were no sandwiches to be found in his bag... Suddently his eyes meet the figure of the faraway ghost boy who was snacking on a BLT...
Kel alerts his friends to come grab some footage of the ghoul right in front of him, but an issue arose... the video camera wasn't working and couldn't get Sunny in the shot without the device glitching out.
The ghoulish boy named Sunny sees how restless, but persistent the ghost hunter crew was, he found their antics humorous at best, but once the big brother Hero comes to check up on them is when Sunny is on full guard
He summons chains from under the ground, binding the 4 visitors in place. Aproching them again he threatens to suck all the life out of them. They start pleading for their life and a idea accured...
Sunny gave them an offer to help him find his long lost sister...He is unsure if she's still alive or not, but he still feels the presence on her in the living world through the Something chained to his foot. In return he would spare their life and let them film him for their ghost blog. The gang agrees to his offer and just so they don't double cross sunny, he lays a curse on them that if they leave him behind on purpose, they would have their souls taken away from their bodies, turning them into lifeless husks.
AND SO THAT'S HOW THEIR ADVENTURE STARTS! they have this sorta mystery gang adventure going on, traveling across the US to find Mari while also having wacky high-jinxs and sunny allerting the others of ghostly presences in the area for Aubrey, Kel and Basil's ghost hunting blog content, just so they would get enough blog donations to keep traveling!
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I am so happy you're back and seem to be doing even a little bit better! We missed you!
I wanted to send a little message, so you can ignore it if it sours your mood or you don't feel like dealing with it, feel no pressure at all! It's just this blog has been a safe space and the community has been so welcoming that I figured I could vent really quick
You know when sometimes the brain just has a really shitty day, like when you draw something and it screams at you that it's trash even though there's nothing wrong with it? I've been having a rough time with it deciding to scream that comfort characters would cheat, probably as an 'You are so unlovable not even fictional characters would be loyal' bullshit. Now, logically, I know this makes -67 sense. But, I was wondering if you could just reassure that like, Sanji, Mihawk, Buggy, Shanks, Crocodile, Blablablablabla long list of One Piece characters you write for, would not cheat? I'm sorry, this sounds lame to even write out but I'm trying to get my brain to stop thinking that asking for help is 'pathetic' because it is not and it only applies that logic to me, never to anyone else.
I dunno man. Brains and bring human ate both though af.
I missed all of you as well. Really and sincerely. I have a tendency to go radio silent when I'm going through a difficult time and I hate it immensely, but hearing that I was missed to makes me all
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And yes, oh gods, I know. My brain is frequently my worst enemy. Especially when I'm not writing. My anxiety starts working overtime and my creative drive becomes dedicated to coming up with problems that could potentially happen for me to worry about even more and it's an absolute bitch; or even when I am actively creating and a little voice insists that everything I make is stupid garbage.
This is still very much and always will be a safe space. It definitely is awful to feel that unworthy of love. Full disclosure, I've mentioned in passing before that I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder depressive type. My main issue is auditory hallucinations that like to insist that everyone I love and care about only tolerate me out of pity and secretly would rather I not be around, which leads to me isolating myself from people. Huge part of the reason I go silent when life decides to be a bitch. I know it's just as bad feeling that way about comfort characters, if not even worse, when we're supposed to have them to help us get through that kind of bullshit.
So let me provide a little drabble for the one comfort character I’m certain wouldn’t ever allow us to continue being so silly about our worthiness of love and affection, because we’re all worthy of such a basic human need. I may do more later, but one in particular jumped at the opportunity to provide this comfort, and I fear he may counter me with his dreaded puppy-dog-eyes should I even dare attempt to wait.
Good Enough
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OPLA!Sanji x AFAB!Reader
Lil drabble thingy
SFW, Hurt/Comfort
Possible TRIGGER WARNINGS for depression, insecurity, self-worth
♫♬ Moonshine ♬♫ — The Fratellis (yes I’m STILL on my Fratellis BS leave me be)
"Never knowing is the most evil feeling, when every answer here is none too appealing"
Sanji had always been a flirt. You knew that from the moment you started working on the wait staff at Baratie. Your trust issues had made it a little difficult for you to open up around the young sous chef (and occasional waiter on the frequent occasion that Zeff kicked him out of the kitchen for insubordination), but it was his outgoing nature and perseverance that had ultimately won you over. He had a way of making you feel like you were the only girl in the world when you were together, doting upon you, all but worshipping the ground you walked on.
But when he was sent out to work the dining area, it always made you nervous. His innate charm, his handsome features—he was nearly always a hit with female customers. No matter how much you told yourself that he was only doing his job, there was always a nagging feeling that maybe there was more to it than that. Watching him interact with a table of pretty young women, who by their clothing and demeanor were obviously far more affluent and sophisticated than you, left you distracted in your own work.
Seeing how they giggled at everything he said, how they fluttered their eyelashes when he brought them their drinks.
How the pretty blonde at the table leaned so close to him while he pointed to something on the menu, close enough to brush her hand across his.
You managed to spill a tray of drinks all over yourself while you were watching, leading to a scolding from the front of house manager. You saw the table of girls from the corner of your eye, giggling at your clumsiness before you were sent off to clean yourself up and change your uniform.
No matter how much you told yourself you were being silly, there was nothing you could do to shake it. The doubts, the thoughts of how easily he could find someone better than you. You had your jaw clenched the entire time you were changing your shirt in the staff restroom, tossing the soiled one aside as you leaned against the sink in front of the mirror and forced yourself to take slow, level breaths.
You were still on the clock. You couldn’t break down. You had to get changed, had to get back to work, had to pretend everything was fine, if he found out you were being so stupid about this then he would definitely drop you like a bad habit, you had to compose yourself or—
Knock knock.
Your eyes darted to the bathroom door, your breath catching in your throat at the sound of the light knock.
“J—just a minute,” you forced out, flinching at the sound of your own voice breaking a little.
Stupid, you’re being stupid, stop it stop it stop it—
A brief silence followed your answer, a silence that seemed to stretch on for miles despite lasting only a few seconds. The familiar, gentle voice that answered after a moment made your hands clench around the porcelain of the sink.
“You alright, love?” You drew in a sharp breath, swallowing, clenching your eyes shut. Of course it was Sanji. You had almost hoped that the manager had come scold you for taking too long. That would have been easier to deal with right now. Your eyes darted to the locked doorknob as it rattled a little. “I heard—”
“I’m fine,” you said immediately, the strained quality of your own words as they met your ears making your hands tighten a little more on the edge of the sink. “I—I just tripped and spilled a few drinks, I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Are you sure you’re alright?” You gritted your teeth, laying your head back to stare up at the ceiling. Of course he wouldn’t let it go that easily. The doorknob rattled a little again, and you glanced at it as if it were a viper poised to strike out at you at any second.
Stupid, you’re being stupid, don’t—
“You sound—”
You reached out and turned the lock on the doorknob, and turned away from the door, crossing your arms over your half-buttoned shirt and stared down at your feet. After a long moment, you heard the door open behind you.
Evidently you didn’t look any less distressed than you felt. His quiet sigh met your ear as the door shut lightly and the lock turned. “Oh, love, it’s fine,” he said gently, his footfalls echoing quietly in the small bathroom, closing the short distance across the tile floor between the two of you. Your whole body tensed as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, resting his forehead over the crown of your hair with a quiet chuckle. “It’s only a few drinks, it could happen to anyone.”
You shook your head, your shoulders shaking a little. Stupid, it was so stupid, but the words were already leaving your mouth before you could stop them. “Oh, yeah, anyone.” You couldn’t stop. You couldn’t. He had a way of pulling all your insecurities to the surface that no one else did. You pulled your crossed arms tighter, staring down at the white floor tiles for a moment before shutting your eyes tightly, your voice shaking a little. “Especially a dumb screw-up like me—”
“Don’t do that.” His tone came out a little sharper with this, and your breath hitched audibly in your throat this time, your shoulders hunching as you clenched your eyes shut tighter, swallowing back the lump in your throat. As if to counter your stiff posture, he pulled his arms tighter around your waist, pulling you closer, his thumb rubbing lightly against your waist in a comforting manner. “Don’t, sweetheart. Please.”
The warmth of his embrace already had you relaxing a little. Your shoulders slumped, your body leaning back against him, but your eyes were still burning when you opened them to stare down at the toes of your shoes.
“Was it the manager?” he asked gently, shifting behind you to rest his chin on your shoulder. “If he was being an ass I’ll gladly kick his ass off the docks.” Your breath left your lungs in a slow, trembling sigh as you shook your head no, your gaze drifting down to his hand at your hip, still rubbing lightly against you, your lips curling into a fleeting smile at his offer. You knew you were being stupid, but… “Then what’s wrong, love?” he asked, his voice a soft, comforting murmur in your ear.
“I…” You drew in a deep breath, closing your eyes as he tilted his head so his cheek lay against your shoulder. “Y—you—“
You swallowed against the lump forming in your throat, drawing in a deep breath, trying and failing to steady the whirlwind of thoughts swirling through your mind, thoughts of how maybe this was all a lie, of how you weren’t anything more than a silly little fling to him, how you weren’t good enough, how easily you could be replaced.
You bit your lip, glancing down as his hand found yours, watching his fingers lace between your own…and the breath left you in a slow, resigned sigh.
“It’s stupid,” you said quietly.
“If it’s got you this upset, then it’s anything but stupid,” he countered, and you had to purse your lips tightly to keep them from curving into a small smile as you felt his press briefly against your cheek in a soft kiss. “And if it’s something I’ve done—”
“N—no, you haven’t—” But how quickly you shook your head, how your shoulders tensed, betrayed your worries. “I…I just…” You slowly relaxed once more as he squeezed you against him, his cheek nuzzling against your shoulder, his soft blonde hair tickling against your neck. Still unable to turn your head to meet his eyes, you bit the bullet and forced yourself to voice your worries. “You have beautiful women making goo-goo eyes at you all day,” you said, keeping your voice low in an attempt to keep it steady. “I—I don’t—I’m not—” You bit your lip, your heart racing as you clenched your eyes shut, cursing yourself internally as you felt the tickle of a tear leaving your eye to trail down one of your cheeks. “Y-you could have any girl you wanted. L—like that blonde that was hanging all over you while you were showing her the menu, or—or—”
“Oh, sweetheart…” You weren’t quite able to mask the small sob that hitched in your chest as Sanji loosened his embrace—only to gently place a hand on your hip, guiding you to turn around and face him, to pull you against his chest as you tried and failed to fight back tears. He gently shushed your quiet sobs and stammered apologies as he wrapped his arms around you fully, combing his fingers through your hair as he laid his head over yours. Your eyes remained clenched shut as you fought to control your breathing , as he pressed a tender, lingering kiss to your forehead.
Sanji lowered his head and nuzzled into your hair, holding you flush against him.
“I already have the girl I want. The perfect girl.” He pressed another tender kiss to your temple, murmuring against your skin, “I have her right here in my arms. And I hope,” he said, his tone turning a little playful as he shifted to rest his forehead against yours, “that I’ll still have her tonight after dinner shift is over.” He brushed your hair behind your ear, smiling as he tilted his head to meet your gaze, puling a small smile to your lips as your cheeks grew a little warmer. “So we can cuddle up together on the balcony…watch the stars…laugh at all the drunk idiots stumbling back to their boats…”
You could practically hear him smiling as a few soft giggles escaped you, as you finally leaned fully against him and returned his embrace, your arms wrapping around his torso as you buried your face against his chest.
“I’m sorry,” you sighed, relaxing against him. “I…I’m just…”
“I know, love.” The way he called you ‘love’ all but melted your heart now that you were calmed down, pulling a faint smile to your lips. “I know. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. And if it’s any consolation, I was in the middle of telling that self-righteous blonde bimbo how my sweet, adorable, beautiful girlfriend would wring her neck if she kept putting her hands on me—“ He chuckled as you whined in protest of his praise, tugging you closer and grinning, meeting your eyes without hesitation.
He lifted his hand to your face, his thumb brushing across your cheek, the warmth of his gaze holding yours.
“I—“
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
You both jolted in alarm, your heads turning in unison toward the sound of the pounding on the bathroom door. Before you could so much as glance at each other, a gruff voice spoke up from behind the door.
“We’re in the weeds, Eggplant!” Zeff called . “Get your scrawny ass to the kitchen! And bring your damned girlfriend, we need all the help we can get.”
A long moment of silence stretched between the two of you as you both stared at the closed bathroom door, before your gazes drifted slowly toward each other.
Before you were both giggling under your breath, as you buried your forehead against his chest, a broad smile spreading across your lips as you clung to him.
“I suppose we’ve been summoned,” said Sanji, pulling back from you only enough to gaze down at you, still smiling. “Shall we, then?”
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tempesttz · 2 months
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i feel like causing problems today: correcting actual endogenic misinformation on the anti endo blog about "correcting misinformation"
WARNING: VERY LONG POST ABOUT SYSCOURSE BELOW THE CUT! you have been warned. stay safe! :3c
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[/image id: screenshot of tumblr blog @antimisinfo, the blog's profile picture, and the blog's header stating "correcting misinformation." end id.] (before we get into this, some of these images will be very bright! i will try to provide accurate image ids to every screenshot i post. stay safe!) okay so see this account right? op has no clue what they're talking about. addressing pronouns right now, i was going to refer to them by their preferred collective pronouns but i can't find them? i checked their carrd and their alters all had different pronouns and their about me just says this
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[/image id: text stating, "horned haters is a subsystem filled with alters who hate endos / pro-endos. our whole system does but we are more passionate about it and plan to try make as many safe spaces for anti-endos as we possibly can!" end id.] so at least i know they prefer alters. cool [happy] so far okay whatever they REALLY hate endogenic systems thats cool thats whatever nothing new there but
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[/image id: five images of different flags, likely did/osdd related, anti endo related, or something similar. text underneath flags states "system hot takes," "anti endo support group," "anti endo system terms," "agre and littles safespace," and "fictive stuff." end id.] jegus dude you weren't joking about being passionate about hating. this is like, grade a hater here. but i digress this probably isn't the post to be screwing around on i'll keep the screwing to a minimum i promise. that being said i don't promise to be nice, i do not owe anyone kindness, especially when they are not kind to me. i will try to be polite. so this is already splendid right but you would think with this many accounts dedicated to hating endogenic systems (they also own anti endo vents, i think?) they would at least know what they're talking about, right? right?????
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[/image id: text reading "so what are endos? endos or endogenics are people who claim to have did/osdd without trauma or claim to have alters/be a system without having did/osdd." end id.] source: endos / endogenics and why they aren't valid, may 8 2024 for the sake of convenience, i'm going to be referring to did/osdd as osddid from now on. okay so first of all, anyone who claims to be endogenic while having osddid is almost definitely also traumagenic and has reasons rooted in trauma, those two things aren't mutually exclusive. endogenic is a broad, personal label. an endogenic system with did could be one with a lot of created alters or headmates. or just two created alters, headmates, etc. who knows! it's a very personal label after all. that being said, to have osddid, you have to have some form of trauma in almost every case, because trauma is what causes the dissociation, amnesia and other symptoms of osddid. anyone who's arguing to the contrary is wrong. you cannot have osddid without trauma? "so tempy, endogenic systems aren't real! they don't have osddid!" wrong. you can be a system without having osddid. for just one example, sourced from the national library of medicine, pubmed central, "multiplicity can be placed along a continuum between identity disturbance and dissociative identity disorder (did), although most systems function relatively well in everyday life. Further research is needed to explore this phenomenon, especially in terms of the extent to which multiplicity can be regarded as a healthy way of coping." (2017) taking some bookmarks from your sixth grade english class (which i can only hope you have passed by now, if you are on this website,) we are going to use some inferences. if multiplicity isn't dissociative identity disorder, but it is a state of being multiple and a system, what do you have? a system without osddid. "but tempy, that doesn't mention osdd!" that's because osdd wasn't a medical term before the dsm-5. not to mention, it stresses that "...most systems function relatively well in everyday life..." and that "...multiplicity can be regarded as a healthy way of coping." osdd is a disorder and an osdd system's plurality is disordered. non-disordered plurality is a thing that exists, and almost all non-traumagenic plurals are non-disordered! so we're already off to a terrible start. op isn't creating a distinction between plurality and osddid, likely because they believe that osddid is the only way to be plural. this not only was disproved above by a literal scientific article on a .gov website, but also the icd-11.
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[/image id: text stating "boundary with normality (threshold):" which then moves a line down to a bullet point stating "the presence of two or more distinct personality states does not always indicate the presence of a mental disorder. in certain circumstances (e.g., as experienced by 'mediums' or other culturally accepted spiritual practitioners) the presence of multiple personality states is not experienced as aversive and is not associated with impairment in functioning. a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder should not be assigned in these cases." end id.] so someone can experience multiple personality states without it being part of a mental disorder. and it's not dissociative identity disorder, and it can't be otherwise specified dissociative disorder, so... i wonder what it could be? well, many things! all under the wonderful way-too-vague umbrella that is endogenic plurality. oh, you need more proof? how about we look to a book written by eric yarbrough, a psychiatrist who specializes in lgbtq issues:
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[/image id: text reading "the phenomenon of plurality is unknown to most mental health clinicians. most professionals know this condition as dissociative identity disorder (american psychiatric association 2013), although plurality and dissociative identity disorder are not exactly the same. being plural, or having two or more people existing in one body or space, is just one part of the diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder. many people who are plural do not experience distress from the existence of others within themselves." end id.] what was that, psychiatrist eric yarbrough in your book transgender mental health which was published by the american psychiatric association?
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[/image id: text reading "plurality is a more patient-centered approach to what has historically been referred to as dissociative identities. this is not the same as the dsm-5 diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder (american psychiatric association 2013). plurality makes up just one part of the larger diagnosis and does not necessarily cause distress. although many people who are plural have a history of trauma, there are just as many who do not. a plural system is a collection of all the alters present. with some people these alters might come and go, whereas with others they are static and waiting to be discovered." end id.] this is not the same as the dsm-5 diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder, huh? it's just one part of a larger diagnosis and doesn't necessarily cause distress, huh? still not convinced? rapid fire! zarah eve, sarah parry: "not all multiplicity is based in trauma" (2021) mick cooper: "neuropsychological research has demonstrated the inherently divisible nature of the brain and consciousness" (unsure, likely pre-2013) zarah eve, kim hayes, sarah perry: "multiplicity experiences are phenomenologically distinct from clinical dissociative experiences" (2023)
kymbra clayton: "there may be in the general population a large number of people with [multiplicity] who are high-functioning, relatively free of overt psychopathology, and no more in need of treatment than most of their peers. they may not have abuse histories and may have evolved a creative and adaptive multiplicity." (possibly 2005)
the entire endogenic and non-traumagenic resources google doc, created by a diagnosed traumagenic system can we at least establish there's been a recorded medical existence of healthy, non-disordered multiplicity in psychiatric fields and that this isn't something that someone just made up on tumblr one day? okay, cool, thanks. now i wonder if there's a word for that. oh wait. it's called non-disordered plurality and tends to be much more common in non-traumagenic systems. by now you've probably forgotten the actual reason this post exists, so back to antimisinfo!
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[/image id: text reading "why is this bad? this is misinformation because as far as science knows did/osdd is a trauma based disorder (specifically caused by trauma in early childhood, which is speculated to be 1-9 / 1-12 years old) and your brain would not split/create alters without reason. you cannot have alters without having a disorder, this is common sense as it's not normal to have alters. to add onto this endos also take over our communities and teal our terms. (we'll make a post with further information on that in the future.)" end id.] okay so first off non-disordered systems exist, let's stop talking about osddid as if it's the only way plurals can exist. second off, you can be multiple without having a disorder, it's literally highlighted in the icd-11 that non-disordered multiplicity exists. see above for disproving that. this is not common sense, because as seen above people can experience multiplicity without it being disordered, therefore meaning it is "normal," though not realistically normal as all plurals are a minority. normal =/= bad/disordered. cool? cool now, onto "endos take over our communities and steal our terms." i have no clue what terms op is talking about (tried to find their elaboration on those terms but it seems they haven't posted it), nor have i ever gotten an actual comprehensive list of terms they think we're stealing, but here we go: the terms traumagenic and endogenic were created by an endogenic system
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[/image id: text reads "an important part of the development of these terms involves our journey towards identifying as plural. we have used a lot of terms for ourselves over the last thirty years; since 2014, we have identified as endogenic, but have known we were plural since at least 1990. the road" text cuts off. end id.] the term plural can be traced back to 2003 and even in its oldest records recognize the existence of non-traumagenic plurality. it has always been an inclusive term
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[/image id: header reads "heart's home." text next to it reads "join date: january 02, 2003." text underneath reads, "this is my site for people that have mpd did, {;} also i agree that not all is cause by trauma. {;} i was on the ring from ring world and did not know this was moved." end id.] introject is a psychiatry-focused word, meaning that it could be claimed to be osddid exclusive, however multiple communities have used them in tandem for years. it can be traced back to this glossary which was written before the dsm-5, or pre-2013.
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[/image id: text reads "introject - introjection occurs when a person (singlet or plural) internalizes another person (real or fictional) into his or her mental space. in classical psychology, the introject is usually a parent, whose advice for good or ill becomes integrated into the person's moral system. more broadly, many people experience introjects as a kind of muse, inspiring them to creativity or self-improvement (a psychologist would call this an "internalized imago"). (psychiatric)". new line. new line text reads, ""introject" is seen as derogatory by some, because it is a psychiatric word and seems to imply that such people of necessity are unreal. They prefer terms like walk-in, soulbond, or fictive. having an introject does not necessarily mean you're multiple. it is an experience common to singlets and plurals. some multiple systems report adopting people from books, films, or real life, making them part of the group and allowing them to take the front if they desire." so, having introjects hasn't even always been seen as a fully plural experience! singlets used to be considered to be able to have introjects too! isn't that cool? not to mention, they also have a definition for fictive in there, recognized as a wider plural term! cool, cross that off the list... oh? what's this?
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[/image id: text reads "system - a group of persons in one body. also, the operating system by which a group governs itself. multiples have many different names for this: group, collective, clan, household (or house), family, etc. (may have originated with a few multiples writing for the amateur press; we first read it in an early mpd book.)" end id.] so non-disordered plurals have used the term system since ever too... not to mention, hey, look at this term!
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[/image id: text reads "empowerment is for all multiples. It is not only for natural (non-trauma) multiples; you can be empowered and be a multiple who was born as one person and split due to child abuse. In fact, if that's your situation, empowerment is a wonderful thing for you, and is something your therapist (if any) ought to be encouraging." end id.] wow... non-trauma multiples. look at that. is that enough terms? if you want me to look up more, feel free to suggest anything the endogenic community is "stealing" that haven't been used synonymously and consistently in both traumagenic and endogenic spaces since before traumagenic and endogenic were terms. okay back to misinformation.
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[/image id: text is a link that reads "there is also a carrd that explains why endos are bad and debunks a few myths if anyone is interested in it! if not continue reading." end id.] i didn't need to click on this to know it was the why endos are bad carrd. this is the most touted anti endo carrd in existence. i'm so sick of seeing it i'm not even addressing it today. it's wrong and blames endogenic systems for systemic issues like "making actual systems be less believed." not a verbatim quote, but you can go read it for yourself and then scroll up and read everything i just said again.
i've never actually seen another anti-endo carrd. which is saying something, because there's a lot of endogenic carrds, some better than others. carrds in general aren't reputable in most situations, unless they cite other sources, which the why endos are bad carrd doesn't. it cites a google doc about cultural appropriation and the theory of structural dissociation, which is about osddid, not non traumagenic plurality. it also implies that anyone identifying as endogenic has been lied to, is traumagenic and in denial, is a singlet who's experiencing a factitious disorder or other disorder misleading them, or are a singlet faking because they think it's "fun." no comment, i'll talk about it in length another day.
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[/image id: text reads, "why can't you have did/osdd or alters without trauma? as far as science knows did/osdd is a trauma disorder and in order to have alters in the first place you require dissociation, which is also a trauma (or stress) response. here are tons of medically reviewed sources that say this:" image ends. end id.] once again, not osdddid. also, "as far as science knows..." see above. science knows about non-disordered plurality. op goes on to list a bunch of articles about dissociative identity disorder, that talk about dissociative identity disorder. they are wonderful articles about dissociative identity disorder and prove that individuals with dissociative identity disorder (and by extension otherwise specified dissociative disorder) experience that disorder due to trauma. that being said... non-disordered multiplicity is a thing, and endogenic systems still don't have osddid. seeing a pattern?
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[/image id: text reads, "what about religious beliefs / tulpamancy? first people are not required to believe or participate in your religious beliefs (and religious beliefs are not exempt from criticism) and second tulpamancy is a closed buddhist practice that has nothing to do with being a system and should not be compared to being a system nor should it be included / involved in system communities. Note that the dsm-v also says that in order to have did; "the disturbance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice." <- this does not mean it's possible to have alters due to a religious thing, if anything it says they cannot be counted as alters / as a system." end id.] okay so i corrected this in the image id, but op actually wrote "tuplamancy" twice. lol first off, tulpamancy isn't a closed buddhist practice. a tulpa is a theosophical term that was originally inspired by the tibetan buddhist nirmāṇakāya, translated as in tibetan as sprul-pa. "the western understanding of tulpas was developed by twentieth-century european mystical explorers, who interpreted the idea independently of buddhahood," according to wikipedia, sourced from tracking the tulpa (2015). a google search could tell you this. did you research any of the communities you are attempting to debunk past listening to what people who agree with you say? if you've decided in the past three months that google is your friend, i would google "echo chamber." second off, people absolutely are not required to believe or participate in your religious beliefs, and religious beliefs are subject to criticism. however, they should also be respected. this post, along with most other things you have had to say, have not respected spiritual plurals. not to mention, not all non-traumagenic plurals are spiritual. not to mention, not all tulpamancers are spiritual, in fact, most aren't. "modern practitioners, who call themselves "tulpamancers", use the term to refer to a type of willed imaginary friend which practitioners consider to be sentient and relatively independent. modern practitioners predominantly consider tulpas to be a psychological rather than a paranormal concept. the idea became an important belief in theosophy." see: wikipedia again. i mean, if you want me to go find scientific articles about this i can but wikipedia has plenty. go check the sources on wikipedia. this should have been the first thing you did if you wanted to "combat misinformation," by doing actual research before posting. op then starts talking about did. see: not all plurals are disordered. op also takes the time to shit on spiritual multiplicity again, which i will rightly ignore, refer to two paragraphs ago. it's midnight and i would like to finish writing by 1am.
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[/image id: text reads, "to add on, no you cannot pray to be a system or transition into being a system. if you were to pray and one day magically become a system you are either in denial or you've convinced yourself you're something you're not. believing you can be a system without trauma or that you can become a system by praying is like believing you can get autism from vaccines or drinking too much dairy milk, that's just not how it works." end id.] this is a half-truth! you cannot pray to become a system unless you count spiritual possession (and frankly that responsibility lies on the individual in question), and you cannot pray to have osddid as that's a dissociative disorder that stems from childhood. you technically can transition to being plural (created systems are a thing, intentional and unintentional creation of headmates has been recorded dutifully since at least the early 1900s (see: tracking the tulpa, 2015). for the sake of it, here's a sciencedirect article about authors who experience different forms of hearing their characters in their head, who's recounts all sound very similar to non-disordered plurality. "believing you can be a system without trauma or that you can become a system by praying is like believing you can get autism from vaccines or drinking too much dairy milk, that's just not how it works." maybe if all plurality is disordered. it isn't. see above when i showed multiple examples of non-disordered multiplicity. believing that all plurality is disordered is like insisting that god created everything on earth after being presented with the theory of evolution. the analogy goes both ways.
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[/image id: text reads, "what about mixed origin systems? Mixed origin systems are not a thing. did/osdd forms purely from trauma, you can't form from a mix of trauma and not trauma, that's not how it works. if you identify as mixed origin you are likely in denial and really need to come to terms with the fact that you are either traumatized or you're not a system at all." ] okay so first of all people can be traumatized past the age of twelve. ooh burn i know crazy. not to mention, plurality in general is known to be experienced by neurodivergent individuals, who as a minority are more likely to experience some form of trauma. this isn't a controversial statement, right? i don't have to prove this, right? cool great thanks. oh hey i just found a really flat ginger ale this will now fuel the rest of this post. there's this crazy concept, some people can be traumatized without it causing them to be disordered. or, a person with osddid could have created headmates, therefore making some of their system of non-traumagenic origin. personally, i was a system before i was traumatized. this caused my plurality to have some very trauma-based aspects, trauma holders and trauma-focused roles. that being said, my plurality (mostly lol) isn't disordered and my first recorded headmate was a created/spontaneous headmate at the age of ~nine.~ isn't that cool? anyways i've been medically recognized as plural so you can't fakeclaim me [silly] i dont have osddid. don't fit the diagnostic criteria. but i've been experiencing headmates since 9 and have recognized my plurality since 12. i'm 18. most of my headmates can be sourced to when i was 13-15, as that's when i experienced the most trauma (i'm better now stay safe though yall). that's decidedly after the gracious "1-12" estimate you gave, op. not to mention, we created headmates intentionally at the age of 12. so what's up with that op? what am i? okay i'm done being anectodal, i just took the opportunity to parry a personal opinion with a personal anecdote just to further drive the nail in that people like this exist and are living breathing sentient individuals with lives outside the screen and many of us have been plural since ever. i sourced non-traumagenic multiplicity to before the dsm-5 just in this post alone, not to mention tulpamancy (many tulpamancers don't consider themselves plural/multiple or part of the community).
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[/image id: text reads, "what about other kinds of origins? Other origins like "willowgenic" and all that bullshit? Yeah no, same thing as endos, not possible. look above for all the proof you need, did/osdd is only caused by trauma. traumagenic is the only valid origin." end id.] i dunno if i told you this but did/osdd isn't the only form of plurality because not all plurality is disordered. also, spelling every origin you don't agree with incorrectly in a post that's supposed to be informational doesn't lend to your credibility. it's spelled willogenic. you're welcome. also, the word "traumagenic" was created by an endogenic system (see above, during "endos are stealing our terms," first link). you're appropriating our terms, buddy. [silly]
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[/image id: text reads, "but I gave myself did! / but I created my own alters! no you didn't. that isn't possible, you cannot turn yourself into a did/osdd system and creating alters is a coping mechanism, not something you do for fun, sources on this;" text ends. end id.] half truth! you can't give yourself osddid because it's a dissociative disorder that forms due to childhood trauma. you can, however, create alters/headmates. see above when i talked about tulpamancy. op goes on to link more resources about dissociative identity disorder that don't mention other forms of plurality. not all plurals are disordered, let's move on.
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[/image id: text reads, "isn't being a system like the same as being trans or being lgbtq? no, many endos compared the two but they are completely different. Being lgbtq is an identity, it's something you are born as. being a system is a debilitating disorder caused by severe trauma, it is counted as a disability which is;" text ends. end id.] first off i gotta say it again, not all plurality is disordered. op goes on to explain why did is a disability, which is true. that's just true. but again. not all plurality is disordered. second off, half truth! being a system is not the same as being lgbtq! that being said, a lot of systems are part of the lgbtq community, both due to its known effects on gender and sexuality and because a lot of them are neurodivergent. speaking on the internet plural community here, anyways. a lot of anti endos are referred to as "sysmeds" as a reference to "transmeds," people who believe that all people who are transgender must have a disorder in the form of gender dysphoria. sysmeds are people who believe that all people who are systems must have a disorder in the form of osddid.... same thing different font debunked not all systems are disordered. anyways.
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[/image id: text reads, "but the dsm-v says that trauma isn't required! no, the dsm-v actually says csa isn't required, there are other forms of trauma that don't involve csa or child abuse. To act as if it saying that the trauma isn't always ca or child abuse means that it doesn't require trauma at all is extremely invalidating to those who are traumatized in ways that don't involve child abuse or csa." end id.] both of you are wrong jesus christ. okay so first of all the dsm-v heavily implies that trauma is basically required in order to have osddid.
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[/image id: text reading "dissociative identity disorder is associated with overwhelming experiences, traumatic events, and/or abuse occurring in childhood. the full disorder may manifest at al-" text cuts off. end id.]
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[/image id: text reads, "the dissociative disorders are frequently found in the aftermath of trauma, and many of the symptoms, including embarrassment and confusion about the symptoms or a desire to hide them, are influenced by the proximity to trauma. in dsm-5, the dissociative disorders are placed next to, but are not part of, the trauma- and stressor-related disorders, reflecting the close relationship between these diagnostic classes. both acute stress disorder" text cuts off. end id.] second of all the part of the dsm-5 that goes over dissociative identity disorder doesn't mention sexual violence once. the best i can assume this claim came from is an old belief that most dissociative identity disorder trauma if not all is inherently sexual.
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[/image id: text reads, "promoted by charismatic individuals such as cornelia wilbur -- that multiplicity was almost always caused by severe, repeated child abuse, usually sexual, and was an extreme form of dissociation." end id.] so... where did you get this info, op? you didn't give us a source, after all. and again.... not all plurality is disordered. so this is a pointless argument to make. shit, i'm out of ginger ale. and it's 1am. it's okay i'm basically done right? uh, right?
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[/image id: text reads, "but this source claims endos exist / did doesn't require trauma! most of those sources are extremely old and / or made by endos (or pro endos) themselves. (we'll make a more in-depth post on this topic some other time, but for now this is all we have to say on it)" end id.] first off i dated every source i cited, most are post-2013 and the newest is from last september (sep 2023). the oldest is ~2003. you're welcome. second, if you denounce every source given matter how reputable because it's "written by pro endos," you'll only end up listening to people in your own community. hey, remember when i asked you to google "echo chamber?" also, i'm waiting for that post, op. also also, for the sake of it, not all plurality is disordered, so why are we mentioning did again? oh yeah, because you don't believe in non-disordered plurality. is that because all the sources proving their existence are pro endo? hey, fun challenge, if you're over the age of 21 and find yourself wishing to, take a shot every time i reiterate not all plurality is disordered. [joking]
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[/image id: text reads, "but we don't know everything about the human brain! you're right, we don't. the brain is mysterious, but we do know enough to know that it doesn't do these kinds of things for no reason. we know the brain reacts to trauma and we know what the difference between a normal brain and a disordered brain is. just because we don't know everything doesn't give people an excuse to jump to conclusions and spread misinformation. it is better to stick to what science currently knows which is the theory of structural dissociation, which is the current theory about how did/osdd forms, and so far no one has been able to disprove it. and before someone says it, no it is not only a theory, it is a scientific theory which is;" end id.] hey i have this fun concept for you not all plurality is disordered. also, just to throw it out there, otto van der hart, the guy who created the theory of structural dissociation referencing the haunted self and doing so along with ellert neijenhuis, suzette boon and kathy steele, had his license revoked years ago for abusing his plural patients. not to mention they promote only referring to the "client" and not the "parts," and only referring to alters as "parts of the client." i recommend reading this article on power to the plurals, and if you feel like some extra reading, you can also check out this old article about how psych professionals used to be encouraged to bait or purposefully leave information out or use different names for integration to attempt to coerce their plural patients into final fusion. in conclusion, not all plurality is disordered, source your shit, and if you're going to talk about only dissociative disorders at least get your claims right. thank you. stop spreading misinformation.
dave got a blinkie for his post so now i want one
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[/image id: green and yellow blinkie gif with the words "written by jade harley!" in pixelpoiiz font. end id.]
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[/image id: blinkie with a dark blue, almost black background featuring multiple stars, one of which twinkles. contains text reading "written by kankri." in the pixeloid sans font. end id.]
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r0-boat · 11 months
Note
Hello! I hope ur well. I’m abit new to Tumblr and stumbled across ur blog because the Submas content :3.
If you still do requests rn, and something ur comfy with, could I ask for Self Aware AU Ingo discovering his newfound consciousness interacting with reader who play Pokémon Masters? Maybe the reader struggles with self-esteem/depression and Ingo comforts them completely by surprise after a rough day? (Sorry it’s a mouthful to read lol, I appreciate ya!)
-🪴 anon
😭 ingo just wanting to comfort you.
Self aware Ingo x depressed!reader
Hi, just a little reminder before we get started here: if you're ever feeling thoughts of self-esteem or issues with depression, please know that you are loved, and you are beautiful on the inside and out! Make sure you eat a snack and drink some water while reading this.
If this ever made your day even a little bit better, then I did my job, and thank you for reading!
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He didn't know when or how he gained consciousness. All he remembered was the first thing he saw when he "woke up" familiar faces in a usual place, the calm music that the Pokemon Center plays every night. Pokemon was standing right next to him, but as his eyes looked forward into what he perceived was a giant portal created by Palkia and Dialga themselves. And a smiling face looking down upon the world he inhabited.
He had thought you were one of Arceus's angels, and this was about a dream, but soon, he had realized that only half was the case.
It all seemed to click who you were. You are not some dead fish-eyed child with a robotic Pikachu like what this world had portrayed you as no far from; instead of that kid with the permanent smile, you always seem to have a tired look on your face with either a small half-smile or a Blank Stare. But to Ingo, he always preferred to you behind the screen. Even when you were no longer watching the world, he could still hear your faint voice going about your day. You seemed more lively and more human than the blank slated avatar they gave you. How could he not be drawn to you even though you seem so sad? Your eyes and your being just seem so full of life that he felt an urge to protect and care for you.
Even though the fake Island had tons of people and, he felt more alone than he ever did, especially when he realized he was the only one different from the rest. He can't help but respond to every little question or reaction in his head, afraid of what you might do if he ever breaks away from the game's script.
But on a particular day that was a rough one for you mentally and physically, when Ingo saw you opening up the app instead of that same expression, your eyes were red from crying. No, you were still crying. His heart sank. If he could, if he could touch you, he would hold you close and Whisper nothing but good things in your ear until you calm down, but he can't do that. He couldn't do anything!! He felt sick with worry as he watched you cry, your lip quivering as you vent to yourself, saying the most horrible things about yourself !! And for a moment, he threw away his worries of the consequences.
" Are you okay?"
A simple three-letter sentence that made you freeze; your heart's practically stopped as you didn't know that you were being watched. It took you a while for your brain to process who the voice was coming from, looking down at your phone to see your favorite character stare back. Huh... Odd you didn't know he had that line before.... and not only that, you didn't remember clicking on him. Usually, characters say their lines after you click on them, yet you don't even touch them. As you were Gathering your thoughts, Ingo spoke again.
" I truly wish I could wipe away those tears, I regretfully can't do much but if it helps tell me about your day and I'll listen."
Ingo speaks again... no text box appears; nothing; he just talked to you, mentioning your crying. In that first moment, you didn't know how you felt. Your favorite character coming to life and talking to you was almost a dream come true, but the thought just seemed so impossible and unrealistic that you doubted the fact that you were awake. And your feelings are already all over the place, having no one to turn to, no one to comfort you, craving that comfort, your heart exploded. You can't stop the tears rolling down your face, even if is just a dream; what a beautiful dream it is.
"I-i don't know." You stuttered you were far too gone to even articulate what you are feeling all your emotions swelling for the past month or two bubbling up into a mess of emotion. You want us to tell him tell him that your day was crap tell him how crappy you looked right now tell him that he can't believe he saw you like this that your first meeting with your favorite character your favorite person in the world was like this red in the face tears falling from your red and puffy eyes.
But Ingo did not seem fazed; he was not disgusted, he was not angry at you. He understood if he was there if he wasn't trapped behind the screen, he would have wished you in his arms and laid his lips on your forehead. He knew how you felt; he listened to your angry ramblings about yourself; he listened to the times people had treated you like you were less than human or misused your kindness, manipulated and used you for their own gain. He wanted to hold you close, make you something you like, and tell you that the word you know about yourself is not true; he wanted to tell you how much you mean to him and how nice and loving you are, how kind and thoughtful and how gorgeous you were. Those people who mistreated you are not good people, and you deserve to be respected, you deserve happiness, and you deserve to be loved.
You deserve to be told that you're beautiful every day, to be made breakfast in bed and kissed at every waking moment. Because that's what he would do for you; that's what his heart ached for him to do.
But he did what he could do which was listen to your broken sobs as you pour your heart out.
" It sounds like you had quite a day... I wish I could do more than just listen and speak to you, but what I can do is tell you what the things you say about yourself is not true... and I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Could you stay with me for a while? I wish to talk to you, and we start from the beginning, shall we? Now, my dear, please tell me what's bothering you and wipe away those tears. Pretend that it's my fingers swiping across your eyes."
His voice, usually loud and booming, was surprisingly soft, warm, and welcoming. From his calming voice to your Outburst earlier, you felt your heart slow down and your tears dry as you wipe them from your face; those steel gray eyes light up for a moment when he sees just a piece of a smile flicker on your lips.
" there's that smile~"
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ryans-planet · 1 month
Text
This is a new blog, if you remember following me before please do so again here.
Tumblr hates trans people :/
Intro
Please read entire post BYF
(Last updated: 9/5/2024 (updated ABT ME)
Hey! I’m Ryan, new to this stuff and I mostly am here to explore my kinks in a fantasy way, reclaim some part of my sexuality and have somewhere to just dump things I want/like to do!
If ur from my main no you aren’t!!!
if you’re going to follow/follow back please follow this blog! Thank you <3
If you’re feeling kind, I’m working on relocating and any help would be greatly appreciated!!
Ca$happ:$olivetreeboy
Slight venting may occur.
Join my NSFW T4T tumblr discord?
Abt me
22
transmasc agender
On T currently, been off and on since 2020. Due to resources.
uhhh let’s say I’m queer with no interest in cis women and folk who ID as lesbian.
Gray-romantic/Aroflux
Huge huge Switch
Audhd/chronic pain
No label yet, but I’ve been told he bites so stay away. His tag is #yeehaw bc I’m down bad
White
Fat (fatphobia/chasers/feederism r blocked immediately.)
DMs open to mutuals I will also give discord too if you have it!! but I am awkward and bad at replying sometimes 😭!
Don’t come into my DMs saying sexual shit immediately. I’m a person too! And have no obligation to continue a conversation if it becomes too sexual too quickly for me. And if you’re 30+ I won’t answer you. My max age is 30 in sexual situations, unless ur trans and then idc how old you are.
If you haven’t sent an ask in a while I’ll move your emoji down to inactive. You may always reappear when you want 💕
Active Anons: 🌊,🕷️,🦇,🦊,🐸,🪷,🍃,🐶, ☕️,🦋,🗝️,🧸,🎪,
Inactive anons: 🍁, 🦌,🦁,✨,🐾,🕸️,
All posts on this blog are to be assumed mlm or T4T (includes trans women!!) unless stated otherwise.DO NOT tag my posts as wlw, or sapphic. I am a MAN. wlw are welcome to interact/follow/rb, but my stuff is by me; a man. It makes me uncomfortable for my posts to be tagged with those things.
Silly yap posts under #ryanplanetyaps Pictures under #pics of me
✨🔻Kinks+🔻✨
Enjoy in purple 💜
Favorites in pink💕
Interested in Orange 🧡(All go for receiving & giving)
Praise
Hairpulling
Biting
Choking
Edging
Overstimulation
Gun/Knife play
Breeding (only T4T/No pregnancy unless pet-play)
Wax play
Pet play
Corruption
Impact play
Force Masc
Somno
COCKWARMING 💕💕💕💕 (receiving especially)
Bondage
Intox
Anal is. Probably a no irl. Fantasy/asks r chill.
Absolute No’s
AgePlay (I’ll block you. I check almost everyone who follows/reblogs me.)
ForceFem
Nipple play (receiving)
Scat
Incest/fauxcest
Feederism
Piss
Heavy degradation
Race play (I’ll block you immediately.)
Misgendering
Heavy CNC and NonCon THIS INCLUDES RAPE PLAY. I’m fine with other cnc listed in my kinks but anything harder/extreme is a major Do FUCKING NOT.
OTHER:
Genitalia
terms to use are as follows; hole/cunt/boycunt dick/cock/tdick, Chest. Don’t use the terms tits/boobs for me (super awesome & cool if you don’t mention chest/nipples at all./srs)
Names/Titles/Compliments
that are absolutely okay are; Sir, Puppy, good boy, pretty boy, slut. Handsome. Apart from pretty boy please do not use more traditionally feminine worded compliments for me.
I have one main sexual trauma trigger, please do NOT use text emojis with /// as blush while talking to me. That’s all thank you!
DNI
Minors/ageless accounts
ED/SH blogs; have had my own issues and am in recovery.
DDLG/similar kinks
TERFS
Racists.
Fatphobes
Detrans kinks/blogs.
If you like Incest shit. I really hate it so bad, even in fantasy.
Zoophiles/p3dos
Zionists/Nazis
Chasers of any kind but especially fat and trans chasers.
Conservatives.
WLW/Sapphic only/Men DNI blogs
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myfandomrealitea · 4 months
Note
I had to check myself recently because I'm so used to being in discord servers with vent channels, that when I ended up joining one *without* a vent channel, I realized Holy shit, where can I go to complain about the day-to-day things that piss me off? And I thought of your post & took a step back, like You know what? I can complain on my own time, on my own blog, or in private to a close friend who offers to listen. I can just let this server be fun.
Anyway, I think people are still furious over your post because (and forgive me if someone's said this before) the availability and reach of the internet has conditioned ppl to believe that it's acceptable/required/encouraged to vent in any space, at any time, to anyone, and that the audience should willingly receive it. It's like a form of brainwashing.
Honestly, the single major response I've gotten is people screaming that I'm an evil racist white bitch oppressing people of color because I'm asking them not to talk about genocide or police brutality in fandom spaces.
There is a huge, huge difference between stopping someone who is actually, actively being racist within a public space and asking people not to force others to constantly engage with and expose themselves to the horrors of the world, especially in spaces where they have retreated specifically to recover from those things.
Its basically like going to a wellness and recovery retreat and forcing everyone there to watch the news and read articles and watch videos about world horrors.
Almost everyone in a Discord server has profiles on other social medias. Everyone on the internet sees, willingly or not, what is happening in the world right now. We all know these things happen. We are not blind. We are not ignoring it.
When I go onto Discord and go into my silly little fandom servers, its after I've spent an hour on Tumblr on my main blog reblogging aid posts. Circulating information. Doing my best to connect people to people who can help them. Its after I've spent my lunch break at work listening to my colleagues talking about the latest knifing or child kidnapping. Its after checking Snapchat only to see headlines like MAN BRUTALLY STABS DOG IN PUBLIC PARK.
When I go into those servers, its because I need to get away from all of that. I need to have that time away where I can recover and recharge or I simply won't go online because I know there is absolutely nowhere online where I can simply enjoy something without other people grabbing me by the head and forcing me to look elsewhere at things that are horrific and upsetting.
And the thing about those spaces is they themselves need protection and moderation in order to remain safe. And you know what that means?
It means preventing racism and homophobia. It means if someone is being unpleasant, they get shut down. If someone is being bigoted, they get removed. Because they are making that space unsafe.
Literally nobody except these idiots screaming about racism are suggesting that we just outright allow racism to keep happening.
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