#especially when i feel like this is my fault

[giannaln4]

I'm Sorry

lando norris x fem reader

summary: A moment of frustration made Lando react the way you never thought he would, and boy, would he regret it.  (1.6k words)

warnings: angst, swearing, argument, mean lando,  fluffy ending

a/n: ok so for this, i decided to go back to Baku and put the quali result in a totally different perspective than my last fic. i guess i kinda like it but i'm not very good at describing arguments 😭 anyway pls let me know what you think!!

ALSO i have an announcement to make and i'm really excited for it :)

check out the original request here!

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The qualifying this weekend was an absolute mess, to say the least. Lando was hard on himself no matter the result he got. Even if it was good, he would always find something to criticise himself, but P17? Everyone was in for a treat, you thought.

The worst part is that it wasn’t even his fault; it was a stupid mistake by the marshals, and he was not to blame for it. A yellow flag interrupted his lap, and he was immediately kicked out in Q1. 

Seeing the first qualifying session being over with his name in red was not something anyone wanted to see, especially not him, and now that every point was essential, you knew it crushed him.

He came back to the garage to see the rest of the qualifying with his team, and as soon as he got out of the car, you saw how frustrated he was. You understood him, of course, it sucked that this is how the weekend was going, but you would be there for him no matter what.

Once Lando took off his helmet, he headed straight to his driver’s room, and he didn’t even look at you when he walked past. That meant he wanted to be alone, but oh silly you, you decided to follow him.

He let out a loud sight when he heard the door open and close behind him, not really in the mood to hear what you had to say. He knew for a fact you were going to tell him he did well and it wasn’t his fault, which he greatly appreciated, but right now, he just wanted to suffer in peace.

“Baby?” You called him out, just testing the waters, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he hummed in annoyance. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but-”

“You are right, I don’t want to hear it,” he interrupted you, not even turning around to face you. He placed his hands on the desk and leaned into it, taking a deep breath. 

That should have been your cue to leave the small room and leave him alone, but for some reason you didn’t. “Lando, don't beat yourself up over this. It wasn’t your fault, and I’m sure things will be better tomorrow. We all know what you can do and you still have the race-“

“This is MY job, Y/N. I probably know better than you do,” he snapped, raising his voice and finally turning around. “This is what I’m fighting for, we all are. Do you know what’s at stake here? I finally have the chance to compete for a championship, and I just blew it.”

To say you were astonished was an understatement; this was the first time he ever snapped at you that way and you didn’t know how to react. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“Every point counts, and not even starting in the top 10 tomorrow- fuck, not even top 15, there is not much I can do.” Now, he looked more mad at you than frustrated at himself, and that crushed you. “I came here to be alone for a bit, I was hoping you would at least respect that." You stayed silent, knowing a single sound would make you cry, and you didn’t want to piss him off more than he already was. “I know you are trying to help, but you are not, you can’t.”

You just stared at him, tears threatening to leave your eyes; he had never raised his voice at you in a heated moment, and it hurt like hell. You definitely should have stayed outside. 

He walked towards the door and stepped out of the room without uttering another word, leaving you alone to deal with your own feelings. 

As soon as the door was closed, you started crying. It was your own fault, really; you could always read him like a book, even today, and you knew better than to disturb him when you weren’t supposed to, but today for some reason you just couldn't keep your mouth shut. Idiot.

You tried to calm yourself down; the last thing Lando needed was to see you cry on top of his result, but it was harder than you expected. This being the first time an argument got so out of hand made you feel absolutely terrible, especially because it was your fault. Deep down, you knew he didn’t mean it, you knew it was his feelings talking, but that didn’t make it any less painful.

A few minutes went by and you could still hear the cars out on track, the mumbling of the team, and people constantly working out there, so you tried to use that as a distraction. Anything to take your mind off what just happened. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t help, but at least you ran out of tears, and now you were just staring at a blank wall, thinking how you could begin to apologise for earlier, if he would even give you the chance to. 

Truth is, you weren’t sure if bringing it up again would be a good idea; you wanted to apologise for disrupting his cooldown moment, but what if hearing that made him mad again? Or worse, what if you didn’t apologise and made the situation even bigger? Your spiralling made you lose track of time, and a knock on the door pulled you out of your thoughts. 

“The car is about to leave, Y/N, they are waiting for you,” you heard someone say on the other side of the door. You were at least hoping Lando would come and get you once it was time to go back to the hotel, but he didn’t.

“Thanks, I will be there in a minute,” you replied, grabbing your things and Lando’s before sprinting outside. 

The car ride was hell. Lando didn’t look at you the entire time; he was just staring at his phone, texting who knows who, his face as neutral as ever. It felt longer than it actually was, and when you finally got there, he just stepped out of the car and didn’t look back. You let out a sigh and followed him, leaving a prudent distance between the two of you. 

Once you were in the hotel room, you both started to get ready for bed, like you usually did, except this time, you didn’t acknowledge each other. 

That was until you were already on your side of the bed and he came out of the bathroom, taking the spot next to you and burying his face on his phone again. The entire time you were building up the courage to say something, anything, now that you decided that apologising was the right thing to do.

“Lando?” You called for him, but again, he just hummed in response. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You were right, I shouldn’t have said anything, and I should have respected that you just wanted to be alone.”

That’s when it hit him. How could he get so mad at you for trying to make him feel better? 

He dropped his phone and turned to face you, and noticing your sad expression and teary eyes broke him. His eyes softened as guilt washed over him. Why were you apologising when he was the one who reacted like that? But as soon as you looked down at your hands to avoid eye contact and tears started falling down your face again, he felt even worse. 

“Y/N… Baby, I’m so sorry.” He got closer to you, softly taking your cheeks in his hands to get you to look at him. “Please don’t cry, I’m sorry I acted like a dick and raised my voice at you,” he stared, wiping your tears away, carefully thinking about what else he could say. 

You, on the other hand, didn’t know how to react. Your plan was to apologise and hopefully move on, but now that he was apologising, you didn’t know what to say; you didn’t want him to feel guilty, even though it was his fault you were in that position right now. If only he took a different approach. 

“It wasn’t your fault, okay? You were just trying to help, and I should have appreciated that, you know that I do, I just... I don’t know, there is no excuse for what I did.” But you were still silent and trying to avoid eye contact. “Baby, say something.” 

“Lando, you yelled at me.” You finally replied, your voice a bit muffled by your tears.

“I know, I shouldn’t have done that, and I promise I’ll never do it again.”

After a minute of silence, you just nodded, which made him let out a sigh of relief. “Okay.”

“Okay? I’m sorry, my love.” He pulled you into a hug, your head on his chest as he placed a soft kiss on your head. “I know I was a dick, and I really wish I was nicer about it.”

“It’s okay, I get it; you were frustrated with your result, and I should’ve known better than to interfere with what you were feeling.”

“No, it’s not okay. I was frustrated, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” Lando was rubbing your back softly, trying to bring you the comfort you tried to give him earlier. “I love you, and I can’t describe how much I appreciate everything you do for me; I know having to deal with my shit is not easy, so thank you.”

“It’s fine, I mean it.” You looked up at him, locking eyes finally in the entire day. “Just... don’t push me away, okay? And if you do need to be alone, just say it, and I promise I will listen next time.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

He gently placed a hand on your check, rubbing small circles before leaning in for a kiss, one both of you much needed. And with one final ‘I love you’, you feel asleep in his arms.

[luveline]

Hotch’s little sister x Spencer, they gang up on her about her safety or health or something, and she’s like “I’m happy you’re getting along, but don’t love getting ganged up on” 😂

You thought that when things between Spencer and Aaron finally became less awkward again, things would be easier. It was never your intention to drive a wedge between them, but perhaps it’s not your fault. 

After all, Spencer’s the one who chose to date his boss’s younger sister. That was his idea. 

Of course, you ate up his flirting and agreed to all your dates, but still. Spencer’s fault for sure. So why are you in trouble? 

“Honey, I’m honestly a little surprised with you.” Aaron takes a deep breath. “It was a completely unnecessary course of action.” 

Surprised with you is more apt than he realises. “Wait a second, what?” You’d known you were in for a scolding from his weird text, but you have no idea what he’s talking about. 

“You went for a walk in the city alone at midnight?” Aaron frowns. “Have you learned nothing from me?” 

“How do you know I went for a walk?” 

Aaron raises his eyebrows. You look out of the window of his office and straight into the guilty face of your boyfriend. He has the decency not to look away, at least. “Spencer told you that?” 

“He did.” 

You meet the big, soft, beautiful brown eyes of your lovely boyfriend and quirk a finger at him for him to join you in the office. 

“Don’t start, honey.” 

“Aaron, I’m allowed to go for a walk.” 

“In the city? In the middle of the night?” Aaron gives you another unimpressed eyebrow raise. You glare at him, not fond of being questioned. 

“I had my phone.” 

He pinches his brow. 

“Aaron, what’s up with you? I’m well within my rights to go for a walk. I wanted to clear my head. I didn’t go down any side alleys.” 

“You realise you’re being defensive with me because you know it was a silly thing to do.” 

You bristle. The door opens and honestly seeing Spencer’s little frown makes you more annoyed than you had been. “Spencer, why would you tell him my business?” 

“It came up in conversation?” he tries. 

“Spencer.” 

“I was concerned! You can’t just walk around at night in the city by yourself! Who knows what could’ve happened to you, and Hotch agrees with me, it’s too dangerous…” He bites his lip. “I didn’t mean to tattle, and I don’t want to tell you what you can or can’t do.” 

“But I can,” Aaron says. “We all know you’re aware of the danger you put yourself in. Please, don’t do it again.” 

“I feel like I just went back in time a hundred years,” you say. 

“It’s an antiquated attitude, but it’s, you know, grounded firmly in reality,” Spencer says, and you’re surprised to find he isn’t shying away from you now. “It’s reckless. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

“It would destroy me,” Aaron says without preamble. “Honey. Please, you can’t do that again, especially without telling someone where you’re going. What if somebody hurt you?” 

You pause to digest what he’s saying. He’d profiled you correctly before —you’re defensive because you already knew you were taking a risk, and you knew if he found out this is how he would react. You hadn’t suspected Spencer would rat you out, but it’s not like he’d been very happy when he learned about it for the first time either. 

“Is this how it’s going to be?” you ask. “You’re going to gang up on me whenever I do something stupid.” 

Aaron’s smile is forgiving and a little bit sorry, too, “I didn’t say stupid, did I?” 

“Reckless,” Spencer supplies. 

“Well. At least you’re both getting along again.” 

“That’s yet to be seen,” Aaron says quickly. 

You wave a hand at Aaron in the universal sign for shut up and turn your full attention to Spencer where he’s laughing in the doorway. You push him out by the chest, not bothering to wait for the office door to close before you start in on him. “That was confidential information, Spencer Reid, which you were privy to as a boyfriend, and not my brother's colleague and conspirator.” 

“I’m sorry.” He smiles, and he’s sincere. “I just knew you’d listen to him.” 

Ugh. Stupid profilers. “Sure, I’ve listened. Now I’m extremely upset and in need of lunch.” 

“Where do you wanna go? I’ll buy,” Spencer says immediately. 

That’s more like it. 

[yjhzies]

“Cheers to youth.” — YJH

⸝⸝୭ ˚. fluff . comfort . angst

⋆ pairings : jeonghan x gn!reader ⋆ warning : reader being scolded by their boss, crying (there shouldn't be any more, lmk! <3) ⋆ wc : 0.8k [✉️] · Always portrayed as "perfect" feels like a nightmare now. But with Jeonghan, everything will be fine.

⋆ - note : got scolded by the teacher for no valid reason and my inner writer came out ^^ (ty ig and welcome to depression era) | trying angst for the first time, I think I'm going insane :( stay safe jeonghannie 🌷

"Love?" Your boyfriend's voice was soft, and everything you needed to hear after a disastrous day at work.

You gripped your phone tighter and gathered the courage to respond.

"Hm, hannie,"

"Are you almost off work? Do you want me to pick you up?"

"I'm almost done with work, it's okay, I'm fine." Your voice breaks with the words 'I'm fine', because you were clearly not. But, he didn't have to know.

You, who is known as the 'Perfect' one in your workplace, were feeling like a failure. Not that you liked the way people labelled you as 'perfect', but you did want to meet the expectations of your boss. You've always had this habit - feeling the need to meet people's expectations, afraid of disappointing others. This, something you have had since school days, was becoming a nightmare.

Your boss was rumoured to have had a break up; something that is completely none of your business - you knew. So when he lashed out at you, simply because of his gloomy mood, you were in disbelief.

"I heard you've been focusing on everything except for work? I remember the time you were considered as the perfect manager, but now? I doubt that. You've been lacking behind everything. From doing the files to arranging the meetings properly. If you keep doing this, I doubt you'll be here in my company for long."

Those words haunted your mind, and it kept repeating. For no reason. You knew you did nothing wrong, you knew you were not in the wrong here.

But words hurt so much.

Especially when you're trying your best.

Especially when you feel you've done enough, and you hear this.

"Are you sure?" Jeonghan asked, worried because you have had to stay at work for long, and it was unusual.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Silence soon followed, and you took a heavy breath to stop the tear threatening to roll down your cheeks.

"Are you really, baby?" He asked softly. As if he knew everything despite not knowing anything.

You didn't expect that question. All the tears you had held back finally escaped your glossy eyes, and you broke down. Right in the middle of a bus stand, but thankfully, no one was there.

"Baby?" Jeonghan felt a surge of panic wash over him. The sounds of your muffled sobs echoed in his ears through the phone.

The last thing Jeonghan wanted was you crying all alone.

You slowly lowered your hand, the phone in your hand dropping to the floor as you continued weeping. There was no one around to help you. To ask if you were okay.

"Please, baby," he softly pleaded. You were there alone. All by yourself. "Please answer me."

He grabbed his car keys, opened the location tracking app that you both agreed to use in emergencies and rushed out of his apartment. The drive was gonna take at least 20 minutes, but he couldn't care less.

All he knew right now was that he had to be by your side.

"I'll be there, don't worry, okay?" He tried to calm you down, despite panicking himself.

Everything faded into the background, as you finally let all the feelings burst out in the form of tears. All the taunting you had endured throughout the day was driving you insane.

It wasn't your fault. You did nothing.

You don't know when time passed by, and Jeonghan's car pulled up on the road - but you felt a hint of relief at the sight of him.

He got out of the car in a hurry, running up to the bus stop where you stood. Very slowly, you turn your gaze on him and he catches a glimpse of you - puffy eyed, cheeks red with warmth, tremors still coursing through your body, dried tears that were being replaced by fresh ones.

"Hannie..." You choked out, sobbing.

Without wasting a second, he threw his arms around your torso, engulfing you in a warm hug. He rested one of his hands on the back of your head, caressing it, as he wrapped his other arm around your waist protectively.

You've never felt so secure and safe in someone's embrace before.

You closed your eyes, placing your hands on either side of his shoulders, and began sobbing again. But this time, you knew Jeonghan was there to protect you.

"Shh, I'm here, it's all gonna be okay." His voice was barely above a whisper, as if those words were only meant to be heard by you. So soft, so loving, and it conveyed so many emotions to you.

He felt like home. Like the warm hug and kiss you crave after a long tiring day at work. Like the cold, but relaxing drop of rain on your skin.

"I'm- I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, don't be, please."

You're grateful. So grateful that you both don't have to know the reason to simply be by their side. The reason can be unknown, or known later, but what matters is that you're there for each other.

– taglist : @gyubakeries @k1eev @haowrld @armycarat2612

[check out masterlist - pinned post to be added to the taglist!]

[hyunebunx]

˖˙ ᰋ ── 💜- 'a tender kiss on the partner's shoulder'

﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. genre: fluff

﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. a/n: you and teri requested the same thing so i tried to make it extra fluffy <3 i hope you enjoy, my lovess <3 (if this doesn't show up in the tags again i'm gonna scream)

You could admit without any hesitation that cooking for your loved ones was your favorite way of spoiling and showering them with your unwavering affection. Seeing their faces light up at the sight of their favorite meal after a tiring, long day was an unmatched experience, along with the content sighs of delight and the faint smiles adorning their features as they chewed happily, recharging.

It was a love language, described beautifully on every page of your treasured, worn cookbook. The one you’ve been handling with care from the moment you decided to learn to cook your best friend’s comfort food back in high school when she desperately needed a pick-me-up.

Years later, honing those skills came in handy as you began cooking for every gathering, be it with friends or family, feeding yourself with their genuine joy and bright smiles. After all, nothing spelt ‘I love you’ quite like a homecooked meal, prepared with care and utmost attention as you danced to the beat of your favorite songs in your small kitchen.

And one person in particular knew all about it, receiving your love in all forms but especially through your cooking. Seungmin had never felt this special until he met you, the person who would bend over backwards to bring a simple smile to his face, longing to make him happy every minute of every day spent by your side.

So naturally, he wished to return the sentiment, needing to bring you even a quarter of all that happiness you gifted him every day.

“Good morning, my love.” Seungmin feels you before he hears you, your arms wrapping around his middle snuggly as your chin moves to peer over his shoulder curiously. “Whatcha’ doin'?”

He shakes his head affectionately, flipping over a pancake with a smile. “I mean, I was trying to surprise you with breakfast in bed but it looks like you had other plans.”

“Oh.”

Not your fault the bed was cold, which had you waking up in search of him on autopilot. Nobody could blame you for missing your boyfriend when you spent every free moment glued to each other’s sides.

Even so, he can tell you feel bad, voice dropping as a pout takes over sunny features. But he can also tell how much you appreciate the gesture, tightening the embrace before placing a tender kiss on his shoulder, lips lingering there when you speak again. “I’m sorry. I can go back if you want me to.”

“Yes, please.” He nods, placing another pancake on the plate next to the stove, diligently building his syrupy pancake tower like a skilled architect.

You laugh, kissing his nape. “Alright, baby. Anything for you.”

Yet as you try to unwrap your arms from around him, one of his hands grabs your wrist to keep you in place. “Not…right now. Maybe in, um, two minutes?”

His attempts at keeping you near a little bit longer were absolutely adorable, heart melting into a red puddle resembling strawberry jam. How could you say no?

So, you embrace him again, smiling from ear to ear as you both bask in each other’s love while the sun struggles to rise on this cloudy morning. You begin talking and conversing about mundane things as two minutes turn into five, and then ten, when you pause to plant kisses all over his upper back and shoulders, congratulating him for finishing the food as he giggles shyly. Praising your talented love will remain one of your favorite activities as long as you draw breath.

“You can go now.” He says, swiftly turning around in your embrace. “But take this first, and don’t lose it, alright?”

You’re confused, brows rising in wonder as Seungmin doesn’t elaborate but moves your arms to settle over his shoulder, his circling your waist naturally. “What – “

He silences you with a kiss, the corners of his mouth turning upwards briefly as you finally catch on, amused, before bringing you closer so you’re chest to chest, just as the first ray of sunshine sneaks past your ajar window.

While he would never expect you to return the pancakes, his kiss was another story. You needed to hold on to it, guarding it with your life until the right moment came along and you could surprise him by returning the love tenfold and stealing his breath away.

You know what they say, an eye for an eye. But in this case, a kiss for another kiss.

[vrystalius]

sniff sniff I SMELL AN AMAZING BLOG!1!1! I REALLY LOVE EVERYTHING YOU WRITE KEEP UP THIS AMAZING MASTERPIECE!1!1! Also can i request the first 3 uppermoons with a female reader human who likes to bite them a lot? Like imagine training and you feel a bite on your shoulder or talking and then! BOOM! reader cutely bites their nose and cheek :3

Biting the Upper Moons

How will the Upper Moons react to their human biting different areas of their body?

Pairing: Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza x reader

Biting areas included: Ear, nose, cheek, bicep, arm

Kokushibo

Ear: 3/10

To reach his ear, you first have to brush some hair away, meaning Kokushibo will be aware of your intentions. You don’t whisper into his ear out of nowhere, but you do like to bite him there. So, most of the time, he’s simply dodging your attack before you could come any closer. He’s very hyperaware of his senses, meaning he doesn’t want anything to disturb them. Especially his vision and hearing.

“Do not even try.”

Nose: 3/10

Your face rapidly approaching his might suggest a kiss at first, but your mischievous grin told a different story. Similar with ears, Kokushibo simply dodges you. If you annoy him further with attempts to bite him, he’ll threaten to bite you first, flashing his sharp teeth at you. That usually shuts you down and leave him to meditate in peace. Sometimes, in a moment of weakness, he lets you bite his nose. His whole face would scrunch up in dissatisfaction and will remain like that for the rest of the day.

“Why are you so insistent of biting me? Did you have issues during childhood?”

Cheek: 4/10

He barely has any cheeks to bite onto, so you’ll resolve to biting his chin. Again, Kokushibo mistakes you leaning in for you wanting a simple kiss, so he obliged and parts his lips slightly in anticipation. He truly is too trusting with you, he learned that the moment you bit his chin and then scrambled away to hide. He didn’t bother to chase you, it was his fault that he’s letting his guard down like that. Perhaps he’s too lenient and loving with you.

“How foolish of me to think that you, my spouse, wanted affection from me.” (Is he even capable of sarcasm? Everything he says sounds to serious.)

Bicep: 8/10

Feeling you bite his bicep makes him feel oddly proud of his muscles. Is this your way of complimenting his body? Or a way to seduce him? Because weirdly enough, Kokushibo gets aroused when you bite him there. It reminds him of other moments where you desperately hold onto his bicep and shoulders and the way your face contorted into pure ecstasy. Perhaps you biting his bicep like that is your way to invite him into your bedroom? He’ll have to ask you why exactly you chose to bite his bicep out of all places.

“Are you trying to court me, dear? Just say the word and I’m yours tonight.”

Arm: 6/10

You biting his arm randomly during certain tasks amuses him slightly. It’s kind of fascinating to him why you are doing this. Do you crave his attention this badly? Once your teeth sink into his skin, his muscles would tense and Kokushibo might pull you around a little, like how someone would do with a puppy or energetic toddler. But do not expect him to look enthusiastic. His face will remain stone cold while playing tug-war with you. You have to be beware of how easily he gets fed up with the games though.

“Release my arm. Now.”

Douma

Ear: 6/10

It’s amusing to him how you continue to find ways to catch his attention. If Douma is busy preparing for another sermon, cleaning himself off after a feeding or just simply lounging around, you come up to him and bite his ear. He giggles loudly and would try to bite you back in any way. One time, he snuck up on you. As a payback for biting his ear very harshly that day, Douma wanted to bite yours in return! You jumped very violently once he pounced onto you and bit down onto your ear. From that day on, you now have an additional earhole in your ear for even more jewrely! That was his plan all along! Totally!

“How about I bite your other ear so you have symmetrical ear holes? That way, I can get you even more earrings! Wouldn’t you like that, lotus? …No? Okay.”

Nose: 7/10

It’s so cute to him! You mostly do it when you two nuzzle your noses together affectionately when you chomp down onto his. It surprised him, yes, but it’s so so cute! You being so adorable and just biting him stirs some kind of cuteness-aggression within him. Douma would trap you in his strong and large arms, squeaking and nuzzling his face against you. He’ll probably bite you in all kinds of areas himself during this fit, kicking his feet and grinning brightly.

“You’re so cute! My adorable little human! I could just eat you right up!! Lemme have a taste, hm? May I?”

Cheek: 5/10

Out of all the ways you bit him before, cheek bites are his least favourite. Not that Douma hates it, he just prefers to be bitten in other ways. Cheek bites remind him of cheek pulling, wich reminds him of a way a mother would scold her child. No mother ever bit her child’s cheek as a form of punishment (as far as Douma is aware of), but just feels like it. Gentle nibbles make him grin and pepper your face in kisses, but a whole bite and pull makes him whine loudly. He’d rather not get them.

“Mhh, don’t do that! Ouch… Give me a kiss on the cheek instead!”

Bicep: 8/10

Douma grins at your antics again, but this time, his smile is much more darker. You really are a brave one, aren’t you? Did you forget that he is still a demon? He only lets you bite him because you stir such strong emotions inside of him. Oh if only he can bite you back and taste your flesh on his tongue… You must taste like a heavenly feast, your blood rivalling those of marechi in taste and sacredness. Perhaps if Douma asks nicely you’ll let him try a droplet your blood. But for now, he’ll let you bite his bicep as you please. You look cute while doing it and he can barely feel it tickle, so why not?

“Dear Lotus, how about a little deal? I’ll let you bite down as hard as you like in exchange for a teeny tiny droplet of your blood?”

Arm: 7/10

Aren’t you just adorable! Douma’ll let you bite his arm and maybe even pull some flesh out if you like, as long as you’re enjoying yourself. He likes watching you entertain yourself like this with his body, it’s a great opportunity to observe some human emotions on your face. Seeing you so happy and excited about something simple like biting down onto his arm makes him wonder if you want to bite other areas in his body as well. Douma wonders if you’ll have different reactions to different firmness or taste of his skin. For example, will you bite him more often if he rubs some sugar onto his skin? Or how will you react if you bite his flexed thigh? Oh the opportunities! He might have to write down a list of reactions and behaviours he wants to test out on you!

“Lotus, how about you bite my chest? I can flex them a little and- hm? No, it’s one of my kinks, I’m just curious about something!… No, not like that! My, what a filthy mind you have.”

Akaza

Ear: 1/10

It sounds weird to him when you nibble his ear. It makes his whole body shiver, and not in a very good way. Akaza will side eye you in slight disgust whenever you even attempt to bite his earlobe. Playing it off and feigning innocence doesn’t help either and he’ll avoid you for the rest of the day/night. He doesn’t want to risk you even thinking about it.

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

Nose: 3/10

Nibbling his nose makes his whole face scrunch up in uncomfortableness. It tickles when you bite his nose and Akaza doesn’t like the way it makes him feel childish. He hates being tickled overall and almost always fights back as gently as he could against your tickle-assault, but you only biting his nose and immediately backing off feels like some kind of way to cheese his reaction. You get to see how his face scrunches together and how much he hates being tickled while also not feeling or seeing the consequences of doing so. Biting and running off is too fast for Akaza to process immediately since he almost always lets his guard down around you to show how much he trusts you. Yet, you prove to him how untrustworthy you truly are, you minx.

“Come back! You don’t get away with this again!”

Cheek: 6/10

Tolerates it at best, pushed you away at worst. Akaza doesn’t really mind you nibbling onto his cheek, as long as you don’t disturb him during something. He’ll actually welcome it when you two are cuddling, for example. He’ll even grin a little at your adorableness when you do, but if you draw his attention away from his training just to nibble against his cheek, Akaza will glare at you. Also, he doesn’t like to admit it, but he also likes to nibble a little on your cheek as well. Especially when Akaza is cuddling you and you blush. Your cheeks are very warm and nice to bite onto!

“Can we do that later? I’m busy right now.”

Bicep: 8/10

Akaza would also feel very prideful when you bite down onto his bicep. He doesn’t want to appear weak in front of you, so he’ll try to figure out when you’re planning to bite him. That way, he’ll flex his whole arm as a way of showing off. But also, that way, you started biting him more less. It’s not so nice to chew onto a boulder-like muscle, so you preferred softer areas in his body (like his cheek). But Akaza wanted you to bite his bicep! He wants you to feel how strong and powerful he is! So, he started offering his not-flexed bicep to bite onto. Now, it’s one of your favourite areas to nibble!

“You’re a really odd one. I chose the weirdest human to love.”

Arm: 7/10

Similar to his bicep, Akaza wants to flex his forearm in order to demonstrate how powerful he is! But after noticing how you preferred softer areas, he reluctantly offered his softened arm to you to bite down onto. Once you start biting down hard, he’ll notify you to stop immediately by flexing his muscle. It’s not like he feels any pain when you bite down as hard as you can, it just… tickles.

“Let go. Let go now. Hey! No! Let go of my damn arm!!”

💠

I am thinking about posting some sort of NSFW drabble for Douma I’ve been thinking about the oast few days… Maybe during Oktober. But anyways, thank you for reading! I hope you’ll continue to enjoy my blog!! Also, I have now written three fics that include biting in some form… does that say something about me or you guys? XD But keep requesting anything you like!!

Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!

Take care of yourselves <3

[itneverendshere]

tryin' to behave, but i'm feelin' some type of way - r.c drabble.

request: rafe x bitchy!pogue reader pleaseeeee!!!! he just hates that he wants her soo fucking bad and she finds it hilarioussss

warnings: it gets steamy but no smut!; slutshaming; they both need therapy okay.

felt like writing something out of the bartender!reader universe and had this request saved up on my notes, hope you enjoy 🫂 wrote this on my phone so if there’s any typos pretend you didn’t see them 🥰🥰🥰🥰

you’re out of place here, which is exactly why you’re here, tannyhill.

fuck them. fuck him.

every high-strung kook princess with their perfectly manicured nails gives you a quick once-over, nostrils flaring when they catch the sight of your scuffed-up boots. not that you care. it’s not like you’re trying to impress anyone.

and why should you? you’re only here for the free booze, it’s not your fault this place is such a bore. always all pearls, pastels, and the scent of white wine and privilege. who the fuck drank white whine at a party? but the real reason you’re here, the whole damn reason, is staring straight at you from across the room.

rafe cameron. ugh and yum.

he’s leaning against the bar, muscles taut under that fitted navy polo like he was born to flex, with a scowl as always. it’s always that look—the one that’s aimed solely at you, every time he sees you. it’s practically a tradition by now. you show up somewhere, he glares.

there’s a tightness in his shoulders, something tells you he’s going to snap eventually, maybe it’s because you’ve been pushing buttons lately. maybe it’s because he’s got his daddy’s expectations hanging over his head like a guillotine.

or maybe it’s just because he wants you, and that little inconvenient truth pisses him off to no end.

you flash him a slow, lazy grin, shifting your hips as you grab a beer from the cooler. when you catch the way his eyes drag over you, lingering on your exposed skin, your stomach hums with satisfaction.

let him look. let him stew in it.

“country club,” you call sweetly, raising your bottle in a mock toast, the light catching on the condensation like it’s winking at him. “how’s it going?”

his jaw ticks, his lips pressing into a thin, flat line. “you shouldn’t be here.”

“and yet, here i am,” you sing-song back, taking a slow, pointed sip. you’re feeling reckless tonight. he’s dangerous, sure. but he’s also predictable. you know exactly how to make it worse.  “aww, what’s wrong?”

you know exactly this’ll go. he’ll insult you, you’ll insult him back, and then—

his eyes narrow dangerously, that vein in his temple ticking. “what the fuck are you wearing?”

you blink innocently, glancing down at yourself. “clothes, obviously. why? does it bother you?”

“yeah,” he snaps, eyes raking over you again, lingering on the swell of your chest, the sliver of skin peeking out above your waistband. “aren’t you tired of slutting yourself around?”

your lips curl into a smirk, the slow burn of satisfaction warming your chest. this is exactly what you were hoping for.

“slutting myself around?” you echo, voice teasing. “didn’t know you were keeping tabs.” you cock your head, letting your gaze linger on his flushed cheeks, the way his nostrils flare, and that slight clench of his fists by his side.

he’s seething—looks ready to burst into flames right here in front of the bar. good.

he’s always been like this with you. short fuse, especially when it comes to what you’re wearing, how you look, where you go. but you’re onto him. you know what it’s really about.

“you must really be obsessed with me,” you continue, “it’s kinda weird, don’t you think?” you take another sip, slow and deliberate, licking your lips as you meet his glare. he steps closer, crowding into your space, his chest brushing against your shoulder. you should back up, or at least pretend to care, but you just tilt your head, looking up at him with a smug little grin. “what’s wrong?” you murmur, “feeling a little tense?

“fuck off,” he grits out, stepping back like he’s burned. but it’s too late. you’ve got him now.

you cock your head, giving him a slow, taunting smile. “why? afraid you’ll get hard in front of your little friends?”

his eyes darken, jaw clenched so hard you wonder if it hurts. “i swear to god—”

“what?” you interrupt, teeth flashing. “you gonna hit me? break another one of your daddy’s toys?” you wave your hand around the pristine room, the glittering chandelier, the polished bar. “go on, then. show everyone what a psycho you are.”

“you think i won’t?” 

“yeah, i think you won’t,” you say softly, staring right into those burning blue eyes of his. “because you’re all bark and no bite.”

“you wanna see bite?” he murmurs, voice dripping venom. “i’ll show you fucking bite.”

then his hand snaps out, wrapping around your upper arm, and before you can react, he’s yanking you out of the room, down a hallway that’s all shadowed corners. you stumble, cursing under your breath, but he doesn’t stop until you’re both crashing through a side door into some empty back corridor.

“jesus, cameron, take a fucking xanax—” you start, wrenching your arm free.

for a second, you think you’ve gone too far. his whole body goes still, and something flares in his gaze—something unhinged and a little bit terrifying. but instead of snapping, instead of throwing a punch, he leans in, so close you can feel the heat of him against your skin.

you’re shoved against the wall, hard, his body caging yours in, his hands braced on either side of your head. you freeze, breath hitching. he’s close—too close—and it’s too hot and too much and—

“shut up,” he growls.

you should tell him to fuck off. you should knee him in the balls. you should do anything but feel the way you do right now—flushed, breathless, and…too horny for your own good. 

“do you always have to be so fucking dramatic?” you huff, placing your hand in chest in a futile attempt to push him away. you know he can break you in half if he wants to. 

he doesn’t move of course, just stares at you, chest heaving like he’s just run a marathon. he’s got that crazed look in his eyes that should make you run for the hills, and yet you stay put.

and then, suddenly, his mouth is on yours, demanding and angry.

it’s not a kiss—it’s a punishment. his teeth nip at your bottom lip, his tongue sliding against yours with a harshness that steals your breath. you gasp, your hands coming up to shove him away again, but somehow they get tangled in his hair instead, gripping the soft strands as he presses closer, closer— it’s a disaster. you’re a disaster. because you don’t pull away. 

you kiss him back like an idiot, just as desperate, your nails digging into his scalp as you pour all your frustration into the kiss. why does he have to be this hot? in your books, kooks aren't allowed to be hotter than a 5. unfortunately, rafe is a solid eleven.

he tastes like mint and rage, and it shouldn’t feel this good, but it does. god, it does. he breaks away, panting, glaring down at you like you’re dirt under his shoes. “you drive me fucking insane, y’ know that?”

“good,” you gasp, licking your lips. “you deserve it.”

he laughs, a low, harsh sound. “you’re such a fucking bitch.”

“and you’re a spoiled, narcissistic asshole,” you snap back, shoving at his chest. he doesn’t even flinch, just glares harder, and it sends a thrill through your entire body. you’d never seen him like this, so unguarded and it was weirdly intoxicating. 

“i should ruin you,” he murmurs, almost like he’s talking to himself. his hand comes up, fingers brushing your jaw, trailing down your throat. “make you beg.”

you keep your expression defiant. “you think you can?”

rafe smirks, slow and dangerous, and it makes something burst in your belly. “i know i can.”

his hand slides lower, fingertips brushing the hem of your top, and your breath catches. you should stop this again. you should slap him, kick him, do anything but let him keep touching you like that, but you don’t. you just stare up at him, heart racing.

“show me then.”

and then his hands are on you, yanking you forward, spinning you around. you gasp, palms slapping against the wall as he presses up behind you, his body solid against yours.

“you’re a fucking brat,” he growls, his mouth right against your ear. one of his hands comes up, fingers tangling in your hair, pulling just enough to make your back arch.

“and you’re obsessed with me,” you shoot back breathlessly, tilting your head to meet his gaze over your shoulder.

rafe’s grip tightens in your hair, hard enough to sting, and his lips brush your earlobe, “obsessed?” he repeats, like he can’t believe you had the fucking audacity to say it. “don’t flatter yourself, baby.”

but you feel the way his body presses against yours. your panties might be drenched but this man is just as hard. he’s close to you—so fucking close—you feel every ridge of him, and despite every insult he’s ever thrown your way, despite how much he claims to hate you, he’s here. the way he’s breathing tells you exactly what you need to know. 

you twist against him, pushing back just enough to test his restraint. “then why are you so worked up, huh?”

“i think you’re confusing us.”

“sure,” you laugh, even as his hands move down your sides, his fingernails digging into your hips. “that’s why you dragged me out here, right? because you’re just so indifferent?”

his chest brushes against your back with every ragged breath. he’s losing it. you’re making him lose it. and fuck, that feels good.

“i could ruin you,” he whispers again, like he’s trying to convince himself. his hand skim up your ribs, thumb grazing the underside of your tit, and your senses kicks into overdrive. “one word from me, and you’re done.”

“you’re all talk cameron,” you challenge, arching your back slightly, giving him more room to touch you.

you shouldn’t want this—you shouldn’t need this—but you can’t stop. 

his mouth is on your neck, hot and open, teeth scraping against your skin in a way that sends a shudder from your head to your toes.

“fuck you,” he growls against your throat, the words almost lost in the heat of his mouth. “i’m not playin’ your games.”

you bite back a moan, fingers curling against the cold wall. “you’re already playing.”

“you’re so fucking—” he cuts himself off, breathing harshly through his nose. “fuck, i hate you.”

“no, you don’t,” you turn your head just enough to catch his eye. his gaze is wild, and you smirk, taunting him with your lips just inches from his. “you wish you did.”

you know you’re pushing your luck, but then again, when haven’t you?

“you have no fucking clue what i wish,” he growls, each word dripping with so much frustration it makes you laugh.

it comes out like a soft, mocking sound. “ooh, i think i do. you wish i’d shut up. wish i’d disappear. but you really wish you didn’t get hard every time ’m around.”

his jaw ticks, that telltale sign that you’re getting to him. god, he hates you. you can see it in his clenched teeth, his furrowed brows. he hates that he wants a pogue and you find it hilarious.

“don’t flatter yourself pogue,” he snaps, but his voice is strained. his hands tighten on your hips, fingers biting into your skin just shy of painful.

you push back against him just a little harder again, feeling the rigid line of his cock pressed against your ass.

“yeah?” your voice turns breathy. “then why do i feel that?” you grind your hips subtly, just to punctuate the point, and the low sound that rumbles out of him is almost worth the risk of provoking him further.

“because you’re a fucking tease,” he mutters, voice harsh and low in your ear. “you show up, looking like you want it—”

“and so what if i do?”

it’s a dare. he’s holding you, like he can’t decide if he wants to strangle you or fuck you senseless, perhaps both. you know you’ve crossed some invisible line.

“you’re gonna regret this,” he murmurs.

“maybe,” you shoot back, unflinching. “but that’s the thing, rafe.” you twist, just enough to look at him over your shoulder, “i think you’re more scared of what you might regret.”

instead of shoving you away, instead of storming off, he does the one thing you didn’t expect. he laughs.

it’s that crazy sound he makes before he does something reckless every time, the kind that makes people run away. it’s such a humorless sound, it should scare the living shit out of you as he leans in, lips brushing against your neck. “don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

before you can answer, one hand slides up to cup your jaw, tilting your head back so you’re forced to meet his eyes. they’re wild, almost feral, just like you expected.

“tell me to stop,” he whispers, his thumb brushing your lower lip, the touch so gentle it’s almost jarring. “go on, say it.”

you swallow hard, pulse hammering in your throat. you should say it. but you don’t want to.

“make me.” you know he hears you—feels you—because the corner of his mouth lifts in a slow, taunting smirk.

“yeah?” he drawls, thumb slipping from your lip to trace along your jawline, his touch featherlight and maddening. “you sure?”

“prove me wrong. or are you scared?”

“you think ’m fucking scared of you? think i can’t handle a little mouthy brat like you?”

he’s goading you, pushing you like he always does, and every word you had prepared dies on your lips 

“i’d loooove to see you try.”

“oh, you will.”

[mephistopheleswasrobbed]

Right so, I currently feel a very strong urge to cut open my stomach like Chef Hong, but let's put that aside for now and focus on all the new evidence that Peaceful Property is very much gay, actually:

(somehow in light of the end of this episode all of this feels so shallow but well, I got this far, I'm not giving up now)

1

Peach is wearing THE shirt. The infamous "more than friends less than lovers" shirt.

And as is usually the case when this shirt appears, it perfectly describes the current state of Peach and Home's relationship.

2

I'm not really attentive enough to analyse colours in these shows, but even I noticed that Home's shirt is pretty blue at the beginning of this episode

Looks like both of them are (not so) subtly expressing their feelings through their clothes this week

3

We didn't really get confirmation either way about Peach's relationship with Best. Though judging by this little interaction between them, if there was something between them, it was probably initiated by Best. He's full-body reaching more than half-way across the frame, trying to get Peach to fistbump him while Peach only half-heartedly raises his fist towards Best's a little. (I admit I might be somewhat biased against him because of Pangpang, but I almost get the vibe that he kinda tried to get close to Peach to siphon off some of Chef Hong's attention. So he was using him from the beginning, first for his cooking skills then for his exorcism skills. But tbf it might have also just been innocent excitement.)

Anyway look at Chef Hong frowning at their interaction. She knows this is not the right man for her son favourite student.

4

Home, deepely and sincerely, wants to help Peach.

As soon as he finds out about Peach's trauma his first priority becomes helping him, not selling the property and not exorcising the ghost.

He even goes all alone to meet the ghost of Chef Hong and asks her to help Peach.

This is kind of a parallel to the second episode where Home went to confront Rak alone (with Suradech and Kan) after Peach refused to help him anymore. Except this time he actually goes alone and instead of asking the ghost to leave so he can make some more money, he sincerely asks her to help Peach. Character growth. But also. Doing it for the guy he likes. And this is why he gets the mother in law approval and not Best.

But helping someone is not always easy, so:

This is the face of a man who's desperate to help the person he loves even if that person doesn't think he can be helped. And he's willing to play the bad guy to get him that help.

It so clearly hurts him to talk to Peach that way but he doesn't know what else to do.

And Peach is also hurt because he thought that he and Home had gotten close enough that Home would care about his wellbeing more than making money. And he's right, too because Home IS actually doing this FOR his wellbeing and NOT for money. Peach just doesn't know that, yet.

(Quick aside about Peach: Shouting at someone while clutching their shirt. That's 'I love you so please understand me' level of fighting)

Classic tragic romance shit (in preparation for later things to come?). Especially with their next conversation happening through a glass pane. (Star Trek anyone? and many more that I can't think of right now)

And Home gives him hope. Hope that maybe his mentor didn't kill herself, hat maybe he's not responsible for her death. And with that he gives him the strength to face his fear. Good (not yet) boyfriend.

5

It's love, your honor!

He litterally takes over the job of taking care of Peach from Peach's mother figure

and then holds him while he breaks down. And not only does he hold him, he PULLS HIM IN so Peach can cry into his shoulder.

And Peach lets himself fall apart in Home's embrace, to let out all of the grief and guilt he had been carrying mixed with the relief of realising it wasn't his fault she died, and she never blamed him for any of it.

(I know I've said it before but man, Tay and New are really blowing this out of the water. They're just so good. Everything about this show is just sooooooo good.)

6

Is that jealousy I smell, Peach?

Don't worry. Home has already admitted that he's flirting with Kan as a bit not with any real intention. The real is reserved for you.

7

He fully plans to give it to Peach, doesn't he? Simp.

8

Between all the real talk, raw emotions and vulnerability, they're right back to bickering and teasing each other.

9

Now there's a classic BL trope. (And also again a callback to Chef Hong taking care of Peach, making it even more meaningful.)

10

Its LOVE, your honor!!!

But seriously:

Peach has fully fallen in love with Home at this point. And how could he not, after Home fully proved his kindness and selflessness and care for Peach this week. Peach had already started to really trust and be comfortable around Home last episode, but with this he's fully brought down Peach's walls. (too bad it's going to end up hurting them both soon)

And Home knows it, too. Speaking it out while also giving the plausible deniability of a joke. And note how Peach denies on behalf of Kan but not of himself.

They're inching their way towards each other, neither of them willing to say it without beating around the bush but both of them fully aware of what's happening between them. (too bad there's a big storm coming for them that's going to wreck this puppy love bliss)

11

And this, ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between and beyond,

is the face of realisation that you did irreconcilable harm to the man you love and you didn't even know it. That the man you love just said a most sincere and heartfelt "Thank you" to his killer. To you. That all your newfound happieness is about to come crashing down around you and it's all your fault.

Seeing them be happy and flirty in the credit scene hurt. Because how long will they still have this? And either way, any blissful moment from now on is going to feel hollow for Home. And Kan knows, too. Will Pangpang find out before Peach? Will Home get to tell Peach himself or will Peach have to find out from someone else?

Major angst is incoming and honestly? That's pretty gay. Silver lining and all that, I guess.

Anyway I don't want to leave us off at a complete downer so have a quick

Lesbian Corner

The focus was very much on Peach this episode and Kan was mostly off doing her own thing so there's not much but there is this:

Pangpang felt quite betrayed when Kan didn't take her side against Home. She's clearly aware that they should hook team up seeing as the boys are busy with each other.

Don't worry girl, you'll get there eventually.

[sass-ruby]

Gosh- THIS EPISODE

For me, it felt like there needed to be something more.. I dunno, it just felt empty? And by empty, I mean what nexus said. Like his insults and actions.. it's kinda weird to me. You're telling me this is the SAME person who hijacked moon's head and tortured him, making him relieve his worst memories? He sounds so pathetic, and cringe at the moment, ESPECIALLY with his "I AM GOD!" complex.

Though, the "I'm sorry" from sun was HEARTBREAKING. In my opinion, it isn't sun's fault. He went through so much, and had no time to grieve because the new moon already showed up. Just imagine being in sun's place, a close family member you've known more than 10+ years dies and you get no time to grieve? It'd be fricking difficult. Also, I believe nexus is still a moon. He may claim that he's different but, he's almost the same stubborn, hateful moon. (Not talking about sun's moon, most moons in general). That's why sun said, "you're not worse than moon- hell you're not even better!"

Another thing I noticed, he seemed way more vulnerable with sun. Yelled at him for dealing with him wrongly (him being a replacement) and such. He is definitely hurt. To me, he seemed like a hurt, angry teenager yelling at his parents for doing him wrong and making him hateful, vengeful, a monster. It genuinely felt like a cry for help of some sorts

It's interesting to me that moon was scared of Nexus, and of death. Before his death, he didn't care. But now, he's scared which his reason was that he didn't want to put his family through the same thing. I think it's because of the qna episode.. Sun confirmed that when moon died, he just cried. It probably made him feel guilt of some sorts.

Oh, a thing to mention, I LOVE HOW RUIN TRIED TO KEEP SUN SAFE. In my eyes, ruin being scared is all an act. He has been through SO much worse, as well as destroying 5000+ dimensions so why would this scare him? I think he's trying to help sun and moon, because if he acts scared, no one would suspect him, right? He did leave a hint, which helped sun and moon find sun's² dimension. And he even told them "I'm not scared for me, I'm scared for you."

Ruin is a clever character, who has many tricks up his sleeve. He's great at tricking people, he is the world's greatest actor after all! (Get the reference?)

He surely has some sort of plan, or at least an outline of it.

EEEEEE I LOVE HIM SM, I CAN'T WAIT FOR WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FUTURE

5 more days until october

[cl-0v3r]

can I talk about something real quick?

I hate how 99% of arcane fans completely Ignore their favorite character's flaws so much. I know this has been complained about multiple times but i genuinely get so tired of it and physically need to turn off my phone when that happens.

And Im not talking about Jinx, everyone knows she's not a great person, neither am I talking about silco or Sevika or quite literally any of the characters that are placed on the darker shade of grey.

Im talking about characters like Viktor or Mel or Jayce, Vi & Caitlyn aswell, but specifically the first three.

Look, we all know what their intentions are, they only wanted to help, they wanted the best for their cities/family and their goals, but the way they do it is Flawed. The sacrifices and nuance they go through and do just to achieve that specific ideal and goal affects how morally ambiguous or not they are.

What annoys me is that most of these people KNOW, but refuse to accept it and continue bringing down other characters because they refuse to accept there's different opinions over something in the show.

Especially with viktor, he is NAUNCED. He is selfish one way or another, he is willing to destroy himself for the sake of making something too far gone work, and not only did that destroy him, but completely result in the death of Sky. And eventually, that is going to destroy his relationship with Jayce too. He refuses to create weapons even if it means as a tool for self defence because he refuses to accept that zaun is not the most stable in terms of aggression, he got mad at Jayce for calling them dangerous when there was a literal riot on the bridge, a scene playing right infront of his eyes. Again, he is rightful to feel protective of his home, but he is ignorant towards certain things too.

I see so many people ignore viktors flaws and wrong doings, did we forget who he's going to become next season or what?? He literally committed a murder wether he wanted to do it or not. which is lowkey kinda hilarious because I don't see people defending Jayce for murdering that child despite the fact that its equally as wrong as Viktors mishap. He.is.not.flawless.

Mel, oh my god. i love Mel with all my heart, shes my everything, but she is a councilor. yes she's focusing on proving her family wrong, yes she wants to make piltover a better, safer place, and I don't think she's completely ignorant towards the undercity's state, but what has she done about it? Now, its not entirely her fault, I know, its all accumulated from Himerdingers ignorance, but that does not change the fact that she is apart of the same body that kept the undercity in its current state with all its problems for generations. She is a manipulator too, she wants things to go her way, wether it was with good intent or not. She pushed for weapons, YES, as a means of self defense, YES as protection from external threats coming from places other than P&Z, but her mother wasn't completely wrong about how weapons will always be used in every way possible, but she finds it difficult to accept such fact. Not to mention the fact that she literally told a zaunite to create a weapon that would be used against zaun.

So no, her being manipulative is not hot (this literally pisses me off the most) , especially not after that scene with hoskel because she BASICALLY called him stupid and belittled him indirectly. Is it true hes not the smartest? Yeah, did she do it to get him under her palm and ended up using him to do something "Good" in the end? Yeah, Is she good at doing it? Yeah, does she look good while doing it? Yeah, but she looks good ALL THE TIME. Manipulation is not what makes her attractive, its a FLAW, an ugly one. So calling Mel attractive ONLY because she's manipulative is mischaracterization at its finest. And I will bring this point again, separate intention from action.

I don't want to get into more details about mel, I will lose myself, but she is FLAWED, shes morally grey, she isn't perfect, just as the other characters in the whole show.

Jayce, he goes through multiple extreme points during his arc, he's quick to decide on things. At some points it could be a good thing, like how he apologized to viktor for saying harsh words to him. But what his major flaw with this trait is the fact that he goes between violent and peaceful multiple times, figuratively AND literally. He was settled with the fact that he doesn't want to harm zaun, infact, he wanted to help them in the first place, but he got influenced, and ended up resorting to violence, he lost himself, and it ended with the loss of a child's life. He didn't want to make weapons before, got influenced, look where it got him now? He is selfish too, and the list goes on.

Though, Its rare to find people who defend Mel and Jayce in this entire fandom, most of the people I've seen who claim to be fans of them tend to do this all the time smh.

And I just know I will start a war as soon as I open my mouth to talk about Vi & Cait. Which is why I won't because this post is long enough and I want to cover other things.

Please keep in mind that I wrote everything as flatly as possible, so the way you understand the things I say may be different from what I initially thought of, I swear on my life I do not hate these characters, Jayce Mel & Viktor are literally my upmost favorite characters of all time.

This is mostly talking about how sometimes you need to separate the intentions from the actions these characters do, because most of the time, actions speak louder than words.

ALL your favorite characters in Arcane and flawed, they have problems, they aren't perfect. And that's what makes each so special, because it makes you wonder how they will clean their footsteps and deal with those said flaws later if they decide to partake the lighter path, or how they will step deeper into the darker one. And even so, they will still be on the grey scale.

By far, Ekko is the only character closest to white if im being honest, and he still isn't perfect.

Arcane fans need to understand their favorite characters in different points of view, not just from their eyes, even if you agree with their doings and find it right.

One big example that i will bring up again, that scene with Mel, Viktor and Jayce discussing the potential misuse of hextech as Viktor dismantles the bomb. You can understand Viktors point of view, but why not Mels too? (& Vice Versa)

Another is the scene when Vi finally gets to see her sister in episode 5, Caitlyn tagging along with her. You finally get to see powder and Vi reunited, you feel content, and then Jinx comes back and gets angry on why Vi is with an enforcer, which is well within her rights considering how they literally killed countless of zaunites and people, but why not understand from Caitlyns side too? Jinx is a wanted criminal, she'd put a building on fire, killed people in the process, stole volatile items with possibly horrible intentions considering what her crimes are.

ANOTHER is the bridge scene with Jayce and Viktor with the riots, Why the fuck is Jayce calling them dangerous infront of viktor??? Hes well within his rights to be mad! But he isn't WRONG, And jayce is under a lot of stress, and viktor is literally going against him by taking shimmer, and God that list never ends.

Literally almost any other scene.

caitlyn Ekko & Vi , Vi and the Council , Vi and Jayce , Jinx and Vi on episode 9 , Silco and Jayce , Mel and Ambessa , Mel and Viktor, Mel and Jayce in some scenes (like when she put him on the council) , singed and Viktor , etc etc etc

Need i say more??

All of these characters are full of layer upon layer of writing, they're all so well written, their intentions, ideals, morals, are all bricks and pipes of what builds them as characters, but their flaws and nuance is the 'glue' of what keeps them standing too. They may have no choice but to do or say those things that they do or say, because if they don't, they will possibly crumble. But that does not mean it gives them a pass, in the end of the day,, murder is still murder, ignorance is still ignorance, manipulation is still manipulation, and etc. They're not all equally as horrible as the other, but that does not make them better qualities, comparing all these issues/problems and completely siding with one thing because you find A to be less horrible than B is not a good start to understanding Arcane or any show with a similar level of writing to it.

as usual, im sorry for any mistakes or if this is uncollected and full of reptitivness, I don't usually correct my rants or anything because they're like... rants... And im very sorry for nagging about certain things, some points may actually be wrong so please don't feel afraid to give advice or correct me over them NICELY. Other than that its really just my opinion, i just wanted to get the "understand characters from different views" & "sEpEraTe InTentIons FroM ActIons" points across.

[transient-winds]

Holy fuck, what a ride.

Spoilers for Wind Breaker Chapter 156 ahead.

Gosh. Where do I even begin?

First off, the "Umemiya is a selfish bastard" thing from Endo earlier on is rattling around my brain as even more ridiculous after the intro to this chapter (it was already absurd the first time he said it). Umemiya, for some reason, is taking responsibility...for not winning against Takiishi pre-Bofurin which led to their current situation?? Ume, hun, what. It's literally not your fault Takiishi is obsessed with you ong. He just wanted that soft cottagecore lifestyle for his hometown and love ones! No wonder the weight Umemiya carries on his shoulders gets unbelievable heavier if this is what and how he thinks.

Even after all the destruction and chaos brought to his beloved home and to the people he loves and who love him back, he still wants to get to know Takiishi. Umemiya, your ideologies and beliefs, let me pick your brain king.

The way Umemiya monologues about Takiishi is soft yet firm. Kind of like a scolding? Or a lecture. It's softer than what would be a common reaction to someone who's hurt their people and home. While Takiishi is still a mystery, Ume definitely knows that his fights against Takiishi mean a lot for him and especially this one. A "I'm humoring your wants rn but I'm doing this my way" if you will.

Special shoutout to table-kun who has joined chair-kun at the grounds of Furin! Thank you for your services. 🫡 (Still lowkey wondering how the others are doing and how they're reacting to the small glimpses they see of the fight from below)

These senpai want to be cool and reliable in front of their kohai. UmeHira, my beloveds.

ALSO THE RAIN! I don't know why but I got so excited when it started raining. The chapter title for today is "Overheat", so the rain could be symbolic of the overall fight coming to an end. A sign to cool down if you will. Come to think of it, what time do you think this chapter is currently at right now? Since it just started at midnight (and Takiishi's bday ig). It would be so fucking cool if by the end of this arc, there'll be a page with the first rays of morning light shining across Makochi and onto the rooftop. Oh, it would be so pretty and fitting narratively (& symbolically). Like the light has triumped over the shadows. I ALREADY HAVE AN IMAGE IN MY BRAIN FOR IT SKSK (this is setting me up for failure if there isn't a scene like this in the next chapters).

And I'm sobbing because the acknowledgement? The praise and confidence in Sakura's will? The foretelling? THE NEXT LEADER OF BOFURIN Y'ALL *wails and ugly sobs*

THE FLINCH. THE SHUDDER. TAKIISHI IS FEELING IT RN. I MEAN I WOULD TOO IF THAT GAZE WAS ON ME.

"Hey Takiishi, let's have along talk, yeah?"

Fucking 👏 phenomenal 👏 delivery 👏👏 (and page art, nii-sensei never misses)

I think this is it guys, I think Ume finally won against Takiishi.

–

As always, Nii-sensei did such a wonderful job playing with my emotions this chapter and the lines hit so fucking well thanks to the translations of Jacqueline Fung (praise be to these two and the rest of the staff behind the official English release). Support the official release and all that over on KManga Kodansha (who should open the site up internationally, please). And thank you for reading my yapping 'til the end!

[fleshengine]

What happened to your friend does sound awful, but it doesn't sound like something that's actually unique to trans women. Someone making false claims after a bad breakup and people believing claims of victimization are fairly normal occurrences across the board, especially since people do generally believe it's praxis to believe all victims immediately. The fact that your friends came around in a matter of days is a better than average result.

Hi Velvet, I think this is the second or third time you've come on to one of my posts where I talked about transmisogyny and tagged it as such. Those posts don't get a ton of traction, do you just like... patrol the transmisogyny tag or something?

Anyway I do not feel a need to clarrify myself to you. But I will add that there were a lot of details that I didn't add to the post, stuff I will not be discussing, that solidifies my belief that it was an example of transmisogyny. I'm not at liberty to talk about some of it, and for the rest I honestly just do not care enough to defend myself to you. I lived my life and you read a rant about it.

That aside, do you know how many transfems I know who have been made out to be rapists/mentally ill after they broke up with their partners? Do you want me to list all the normal occurences across the board that have made me personally terrified to show others intimacy? Why is it that when someone says "that trans girl is a rapist!" people believe her but when trans girls say "we keep getting called rapists, this sucks" we get people like you telling us that it's normal to be made out into a charicature and systematically cut off from your entire social group?

Now that I've got that out of the way, let's dig into your word choice.

"What happened to your friend" this voice is so passive it's going 45 in a 50. "What that guy did to your friend" is much more direct and active, that's a sentence fragment that drinks orange juice with its breakfast. I probably would've accepted "what was done to your friend" because even though it's passive it still emphasizes that someone did something wrong. But you didn't even do that. Instead you completely removed the idea of fault from the equation, no one did it, nothing caused it, it was divine intervention that my friend nearly lost their entire support network.

"does sound awful" it doesn't sound like anything. It is awful, through and through. I hate the man that did it even though my friend has forgiven him.

"better than average result" average what? Messy breakup or transfem targetting rumor mill? It was a better than average result, I can attest to the average and it's not good. I'm glad I was there to sway people back to reality.

Moving on, you only addressed one of the two things I mentioned. I said "break up with a trans woman and unperson her" and "unperson any trans woman who's minorly annoying." You completely skipped the whole "a guy tried to tell people I was a gaslighter because I asked him to stop calling my friend a sociopath" bit. The post wasn't even saying that what happened was specifically transmisogynistic (it was), I was literally just talking about how stuff I was hearing mapped onto my life.

I also find it interesting, how you put this in an ask instead of a reblog. A reblog puts whatever I said on your account, an account I've heard you regularly use to support transmisogynists. I'm happy to talk to you more, genuinely I like to argue and you seem interesting enough. But I want what I say on your account. I'm not going to respond to another ask or reblog on this one until you reblog the original. Here I even got you a link.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Let's Just Breathe

A/N: Had this in my drafts for a while, finally decided to finish it.

Chrissy and Eddie had a moment at the picnic table, and then everything went to shit. Chrissy died. Eddie got accused of her murder and he was hunted down for it. When all was said and done, when the world was saved, Chrissy came back. Chrissy and the others hadn't really been dead to begin with, so it made it easy to clear Eddie of all charges.

Meanwhile, Steve and Eddie formed a connection when Steve carried him out of the Upside Down. Chrissy had watched from Eddie's hospital bedside as they started to fall for each other. Chrissy was just happy to have Eddie in her life, even if it was only as a friend, so she put her feelings for him on a back burner and let it cool. Slowly, Steve became part of her life, too, along with Robin and the rest of the party.

FIVE YEARS LATER. . .

Chrissy was now living in a shared apartment with Robin and Vickie. After everything that happened, they were all still a little codependent, and Chrissy doubted that would go away, not that she would want to. She actually felt like she had a real family and was even okay with being the fifth wheel. It was luck that they found two apartments for rent in the same building that they could afford, especially since they were across from each other. They had to practically beg Chrissy to come with them. She was very much a part of their group, after all.

"Gahh!" Eddie yelled as he walked into Chrissy's apartment.

She had just gotten home from teaching dance class to a bunch of four year olds and was now relaxing in front of the TV when Eddie came in. He plopped down next to her, pouting and sniffling. Chrissy turned off the TV and turned to him. It was still odd to see him with short hair. They had agreed to donate their hair a while back for children with cancer during a time when they didn't have money. It eventually became an annual thing. Eddie had just cut off his hair along with Chrissy and Vickie, so now they both had short hair. Robin and Steve's hair was still very long. Eddie's hair was starting to grow out a little.

"What's wrong, Eddie?" Chrissy asked.

"Ugh!" Eddie exclaimed again.

"Yeah, you said that when you came in," Chrissy replied.

"The denied our adoption application, and I think it's my fault although they didn't say that," Eddie said, rubbing his face with his hands.

"I didn't know you guys were trying to adopt," Chrissy said.

"Yeah, it was going to be a surprise when we got approved, but it looks like that's not going to happen," Eddie said. "Steve deserves to be a dad. He would be a great one, and I want to be a dad, too. I don't think it's going to happen, and it's my fault, Chrissy. I know it."

He was crying now, and Chrissy hated seeing him cry. If she could do something about it, then she would. She would totally give them a baby. . . Wait, she could give them a baby.

"Where's Steve?" Chrissy asked.

"Cooking angrily," Eddie muttered.

Chrissy pulled him up and started dragging him out of the apartment. Eddie yelped. She barged into their apartment, startling Steve, who had been sniffling at the stove. She closed the door behind Eddie.

"There are other ways to have a baby other than adopting," Chrissy said.

"Well, Eddie and I can't exactly do that. I don't know if you noticed," Steve said.

"I could give you guys a baby," Chrissy said.

Eddie choked on his saliva. Steve quickly turned off the stove and spun around to face Chrissy.

"What?" Steve asked. "You want to have sex with one of us?"

"I mean, it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. I mean, unless you want to. I was thinking more like a turkey baster, but I could have sex with one of you. . . Or both," Chrissy said.

"Both, huh?" Eddie asked.

"Well, I mean, you wouldn't be able to really know who's baby it is if you guys wanted to keep it a mystery. Doing it with both of you, it would be like both of you were making the baby. If that makes sense," Chrissy said.

"And there isn't anything in it for you if we did it that way?" Steve asked as he moved closer to her.

"I would be lying if I said that I never thought about it," Chrissy blushed. "But I know that you guys really want a baby."

"So, you'd really do this?" Eddie asked as he moved closer to her as well.

"Yeah, I'd do anything for you two. You'd make really great dads," Chrissy said.

"Well, you know if we did this, we wouldn't leave you out of this," Steve said.

"What?" She asked.

"You want to have a baby, too. We'd think you would be a good mom, too. . .unless you'd think it would be too weird," Eddie said.

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to do this," Chrissy said with a smile. "Do you guys want to do this?"

Eddie and Steve shared a look before grinning wildly. Eddie hugged her tightly before pressing his lips to hers in a hard but gleeful kiss. Eddie moved back and let Steve do the same.

"But, you know, we don't have to do this right now," Steve said. "We could give it a few days."

"Well, that wouldn't make sense," Chrissy said as she began to unbutton her shirt. "It's perfect, actually, I'm ovulating as we speak. Oh. . .that's right, I took off my bra when I got home."

She slipped off her shirt and let it fall to the floor with an innocent smile. Eddie smirked at Steve before picking up Chrissy, letting her legs wrap around him.

"Steve, guide us to the bedroom," Eddie said.

Eddie smashed his lips to Chrissy's with Steve’s hand on his back, leading them to the bedroom. They fell on the bed, Steve falling with them.

A COUPLE OF MONTHS LATER. . .

Chrissy had been sent home early due to the fact she had thrown up even though she felt better once she did so. She entered the apartment to find Robin and Vickie curled up on the couch. It was their day off.

"You're home early," Vickie said.

"Yeah, they sent me home because I got sick. I'm pretty sure it was because of something I ate. I feel fine now," Chrissy said as she plopped down on the recliner.

"Well, I've been meaning to talk to you," Robin said, turning off the TV. "You know, we said a while back that we needed some alone time. It was just to celebrate Vickie's birthday. We love having you around."

"Of course, I know that," Chrissy laughed.

"Oh good," Robin said, relieved.

"I think Robin was worried because you've been spending a lot of time with Steve and Eddie," Vickie said.

They hadn't said anything to them about what they've been up to. She wasn't sure how they would even take it if they even knew that she was sleeping with them to help them make a baby. Although, the last few weeks have been great, and she tried not to get her hopes up, but it felt like she was slowly becoming a part of their relationship. When they weren't having sex, they were cuddling and kissing as well as holding hands. Sometimes, they just lay in bed and talked. Steve and Eddie even took her out to eat, calling it date night. Would that all be over once she got pregnant?

"I like spending time with them," Chrissy said.

"You've been spending the night," Robin said, narrowing her eyes at her. "I think I just figured out what's going on."

"You have?" Chrissy asked, her eyes wide.

"You guys are throwing me a surprise party for my own upcoming birthday, aren't you?" She asked.

"Yeah, that's it," Chrissy laughed. "You figured it out."

"Great, now, I'm going to tell you exactly what I want, and then you're going to casually mention it to the guys like it's your idea," Robin said.

"I feel like that's cheating. It ruins the point of a surprise party," Vickie said.

"Babe, it's already ruined. Chrissy already told me," Robin said. "This way, I get what I want."

"I guess it's going to be Eddie and Steve, who are the ones who will be expecting the surprise," Vickie said.

"It serves them right for stealing our roommate from us," Robin said.

Expecting. The word Vickie said swam around in Chrissy's head, and she gasped. Oh, she was an idiot. A very late idiot.

"Are you okay?" Vickie asked.

"Yeah, I just realized something," Chrissy said and got up. "I got to go!"

They watched her leave and Robin frowned at her girlfriend.

"Maybe you're also right, Vick, maybe she does have a secret lover," Robin said.

She had been gone for a long time. Chrissy had returned a while ago, but now she was sitting in her car, hoping for a positive outcome. She let out a breath and climbed out of the car. When she walked into her apartment, Eddie and Steve were there. Robin had her back to the door as she talked to them.

"Look, I'm really worried about her. She just took off, and now we don't - ," Robin started.

"I'm right here. No need to worry," Chrissy said.

"Chrissy, what the hell?" Robin asked.

"Are you okay?" Vickie asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Excuse me, I drank a bunch of water earlier, so. . . I need to use the bathroom," Chrissy said and most past them.

"Why are you going into the bathroom with a plastic baggy?" Robin asked and turned to the men. "Do you have any idea what this is about?"

"No clue," Steve shrugged.

Chrissy, meanwhile, bit her lip as she watched the clock on the bathroom wall. Please, please, please! She closed her eyes for a moment and took a calming breath before opening her eyes again. What are the odds, though, that it would happen on the first try? Dustin would probably be able to tell her. She ignored Robin knocking on the door and then the sound of Steve scolding her.

"Robin, privacy!" Steve exclaimed.

"She's been in there for a while!" Robin yelled. "I feel like you know something that I don't."

"I know about as much as you do," Steve said.

"Ha! You said about! Which implies that you know more than me!" Robin exclaimed.

"Maybe I know less than you do. Did you ever think of that?" Steve asked.

The kitchen timer that Chrissy had bought went off with a loud ding.

"Is that a fucking kitchen timer in there? Is she cooking something in the goddamn bathroom?" Robin asked.

Chrissy sighed and peered cautiously at the sticks on the counter. She squealed in delight and grabbed a stick off the counter. She opened the door to the bathroom and right into the hallway where everyone had gathered. She looked at Eddie and Steve. She beamed as she held up the white plastic stick.

"I'm pregnant!" Chrissy exclaimed.

Eddie and Steve froze for a moment before letting out a loud holler. They hugged her tightly, pressing kisses on her cheeks and then in her hair. Eddie pulled back before kissing her deeply and pulled away to allow Steve to do the same.

"What. The. Fuck?!" Robin exclaimed.

"Oh, Steve and I got your roommate pregnant," Eddie said, his eyes filled with tears.

"Explain, please," Vickie said.

"Well, you see Vickie, sometimes when two men love the same woman - " Eddie started to explain to Vickie.

"She knows how sex works, you dingus! She's a master at it, in fact," Robin exclaimed. "What she wants to know is when Chrissy joined your relationship."

"Oh, when the adoption fell through a couple of months ago, and she offered to carry our baby. We decided all three of us should just do it the old-fashioned way," Steve said.

"And it just felt right that she become a part of us too," Eddie grinned.

"So. . .Do you guys really want me to be with you?" Chrissy asked.

"Of course, did we not ask you?" Steve asked.

"No."

"Shit. . .baby, do you want to be our girlfriend?" Eddie asked.

"Yes!" She exclaimed happily.

Steve and Eddie hugged her tightly. When they moved back, Robin slugged them both in the arms before hugging them both.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me you guys were trying for a baby," Robin said.

"Well, I didn't want you to get disappointed when it didn't happen. I know how badly you've been wanting to wear that 'World's Worst Godmother' shirt since you found it in that store a while back," Steve said.

"You're a good platonic soulmate. . .well, sometimes. . . You're sleeping on the platonic couch for lying to me," Robin said.

"Congratulations, Chrissy!" Vickie squealed as she hugged her.

"Thank you," Chrissy said.

"Are you hoping Eddie's the biological father? I would, I couldn't imagine how you would be able to push Steve’s square headed baby out of your hoo-ha," Robin said.

"Hey! If my mother could do it with baby me, then so can Chrissy!" Steve exclaimed.

"Didn't your mother have to have surgery down there?"

"That was not my fault! That was for cosmetic reasons only!"

"I'm not worried," Chrissy giggled. "They both put in the work at the same time. They're both the father."

"Hey, what if they're twins? What if Steve’s the father of one and Eddie's the father of the other?" Robin asked.

"Don't be ridiculous, Robin. . . That would never happen. . ."

A FEW MONTHS LATER. . .

". . . I can't believe Robin was right," Chrissy pouted.

"She happened to be right about it being twins, sweetheart, not about the other thing," Eddie said. "And you said that it doesn't matter, right?"

"Yeah, it's just . . . " Chrissy trailed.

"She's gotten quite annoying riding high on that ego boost of hers," Eddie cackled.

"Yes! Now she's saying she can see the future!" Chrissy exclaimed. "I love her, but I am not naming one of our kids after her just because she can see it happening."

"I think you're just annoyed because you know it's definitely going to happen," Eddie said. "Or is it because you can't find a thing to wear?"

"Nothing hides my stomach!" Chrissy exclaimed.

She was standing in what was now their bedroom. She had moved into their apartment shortly after she found out she was pregnant. So, now Steve and Eddie's bedroom was hers too. Chrissy was standing in her bra and panties, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Eddie was sprawled out on the bed, watching her. Steve was busy at Robin's, helping Vickie put the finishing touches for Robin's birthday party.

"Why would you want to hide it? Weren't we planning on telling everyone when they got here?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, but not today. As annoying as she is right now, today is her day. It's all about her, and I'm not going to step on that," Chrissy said.

"Well, that's awfully sweet of you, baby," he said. "But I don't think you have any clothes that will hide them."

Chrissy glared at him before marching over to the closet and pulling out a giant white coat. She slipped it on.

"Oh, yeah, what about this?" She asked.

"Okay, that's Steve’s parka, and you look like a marshmallow," Eddie said, and she glared at him. "But a very cute and delicious marshmallow."

She took off the parka and put it back in the closet. She cradled her bump as she felt the babies move within her.

"They're moving. Hi, babies. Do you want to say hi to Daddy?" Chrissy cooed at her stomach.

She waddled over to him while he sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. Eddie flashed his dimples as he placed his hands on her stomach, placing a kiss on in it.

"Hi, babies. It's Daddy. Papa isn't here right now. He's busy setting up for Auntie Robin's party. She's very demanding, but you'll find that out," Eddie sighed happily. "I know Mommy is probably going to miss having you live inside of her, but I can't wait to meet you."

"I can't wait either," Chrissy said and paused. "I think I'm just going to choose something comfortable but first. . . "

She sat down on his leg, straddling it as she kissed him deeply.

"I don't think we have time for this," Eddie said as he broke the kiss.

"Of course, we have time. They're not even finished setting up yet, and the party is right across the hall," Chrissy said in between kisses.

She rocked her hips, grinding against his leg.

"What about Steve?" Eddie asked.

"We've done this without him before," Chrissy said.

"Yeah, and he was extremely pouty," Eddie said.

She pressed her knee against his crotch and moved her lips to his neck.

"And isn't he just so cute when he pouts?" Chrissy asked.

"Yeah, he is . . . Okay, fine, let's be quick," Eddie groaned.

Chrissy pulled away from him and stood up.

"You know what, I'm suddenly not feeling it anymore," she said.

"Chrissy!"

"What? Is there a problem?"

"Yes!"

"It sounds like a problem you need to fix."

"Baby!"

"That's what you get for calling me a marshmallow," Chrissy pouted.

Eddie stood up, glared at her, and went into their en suite bathroom. Steve chose that moment to come in.

"Did I miss something?" Steve said.

"She's a devil of a woman, Steve! We're never getting her pregnant again. The baby hormones made her even more evil!" Eddie exclaimed and Chrissy giggled. "Oh, god!"

"Well, I recognize that sound. Starting to guess what happened here," Steve said.

"He called me a marshmallow," Chrissy said.

"Well, then he had it coming," Steve said and then laughed when he realized what he said.

"Oh, very funny, Steven! Don't you dare laugh at my suffering!"

"Having trouble finding an outfit?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," Chrissy said.

"Well, what about this top and this skirt. It's the same material that you said feels good against your skin," Steve said.

"Oooh, and the colors actually do look good together! That wasn't an outfit ten minutes ago, and then you come in here. . .it's an outfit! My hero!" Chrissy exclaimed, kissing him.

Steve grinned and leaned next to the bathroom door, rapping his knuckles against the door.

"Hey, we're done setting up. What about you? Did you finish?" Steve asked, and Chrissy giggled as she got dressed.

"Asshole," Eddie said as he opened the door, and then he saw Chrissy. "You look beautiful, darling."

"And comfy. Still mad at me for being evil?" Chrissy asked.

"No, in fact I love you more for it," Eddie said. "Menace."

"Takes one to know one," Chrissy said, and Eddie kissed her deeply.

They were, of course, the first ones there, seeing how they were just across the hall. She had been quite energized and excited for the party but now suddenly she was starting to feel a little tired. Chrissy yawned and then covered it up with a laugh when Robin came out of their bedroom wearing her World's Worst Godmother shirt.

"What? Well, I figured I would put this on since you're planning on upstaging my party with your pregnancy announcement," Robin said, and Chrissy cursed. "What? I was joking. I love that you're announcing you're having my god children at my party."

"No, it's not that, I'm just feeling tired all of a sudden," Chrissy said.

"Well, you're growing two life forms inside of you, I expect you're tired a lot," Robin said.

"Well, why don't you take a nap in your room - I mean, the guest room. People won't be here for a while," Vickie said.

"We'll wake you up when they're all here so that way you can just tell the story about how this happened all at once," Robin said.

"Smart," Chrissy said. "I think picking out clothes and messing with Eddie just wore me out."

"What did she do to you?"

"Nothing!"

When Chrissy woke up from her nap, she had to pee. She made her way to the ensuite bathroom, and when she pulled her underwear down, she discovered blood. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, and she quickly pulled her underwear up. Just as she was about to leave the bathroom, she heard Steve come in.

"You need any help, baby? Robin says she is not going to explain her shirt until you come out. Dustin thinks she's trying to bring back the whole "Steve is a mom" joke. Honey?" Steve asked.

"Steve. . .I'm bleeding," Chrissy said, as she tried so desperately to stay calm.

She could feel her heart race rapidly in her chest, and everything felt cold. What if she was losing the babies?

"Shit. Okay, don't panic," Steve said softly. "We're going to get you to the hospital, and everything's going to be okay. It's probably just spotting, but I think we'll both be relieved if a doctor tells us that. Okay?"

"Okay," Chrissy said softly.

"I love you," Steve said, cupping her face. "Breathe with me."

Eddie walked into the bedroom as Chrissy breathed with Steve.

"If you guys are fooling around without - what's going on?" Eddie asked.

"I need you to remain calm, Ed. Chrissy is bleeding, and we need to take her to the hospital," Steve said in a steady voice.

Calmly and smoothly, Eddie picked Chrissy up in his arms, cradling her to his chest. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and buried her face there, breathing in his scent to calm her down. Steve opened the door, where everyone was waiting for them.

"Is Chrissy okay?" Joyce asked.

"We have to take her to the hospital," Steve said. "She's bleeding."

"The babies!" Robin gasped.

"Don't you panic. If you panic, I panic," Steve said with tears in his eyes.

"Babies?!" Dustin asked, and everyone started talking at once.

"We don't have time for this," Eddie growled. "Robin, explain it to them."

Steve and Eddie moved out the door quickly with Chrissy. It left Robin and Vickie to explain the situation to the party. They stared at the group, and for once, they were speechless. It was Nancy who snapped them out of it.

"What babies are they talking about?" She asked.

"Uh, the babies Chrissy's pregnant with," Robin said. "Twins."

"Who's the father?" Jonathan asked.

"Uh, Steve and Eddie," Vickie replied.

"She's a surrogate?" Joyce asked.

"No," Robin said, shaking her head and wishing she had gone with them.

"They all put in the effort," Vickie said.

"What the hell does that mean?" Hopper asked.

"Well, sometimes when two men love the same woman . . . " Robin trailed off.

"Okay, so they all had sex," Hopper said, squinting his eyes at them.

"Are they all together?" Mike asked.

"Yes."

Once that had been explained, everyone started worrying about Chrissy. Argyle was trying to get everyone to relax, but not even his comforting presence could get them to. Suddenly, it felt like the world was ending all over again. Wayne, of course, had been the last to arrive and the last to know. He had burst out of there as soon as he was told and left for the hospital to be with his kids. The others would have followed if there hadn't been other kids here who were just as worried. Claudia stood next to Dustin and hugged him tightly. They were all legally adults now, except for Erica and Holly, but they were still all very young even more so when someone they loved was in trouble.

"Is there nothing that I can do?" Jane asked her mother.

"The only thing you can do is wait," Joyce said softly.

And wait, they did. The food was untouched, but Vickie made sure to preserve them. No one felt like eating or partying, and they all sat in uneasy silence. Eventually, Eddie and Steve came through the door with Chrissy, with Wayne following behind them.

"The girls are fine. It was just spotting," Eddie said, tears in his eyes.

"Oh, thank God!" Robin said and hugged them tightly before suddenly pulling back. "Wait. . .girls?"

"We're having girls," Chrissy said.

"Oh my God! We're having girls!" Robin exclaimed and hugged Steve tightly.

"We're having girls!" Steve exclaimed.

Everyone took turns to hug them all. Dustin clung to the three of them the most, tears in his eyes.

"I'm going to be an uncle!" Dustin exclaimed.

"Happy birthday, Robin," Chrissy said teasingly.

"Best birthday ever," Robin said tearfully.

"Congratulations, Chrissy," Nancy said with a smile.

"So, how exactly did this start?" Hopper asked.

"Well, when two men love the same woman. . .," Eddie started to explain, and Wayne promptly slapped him upside the head.

"Well, Steve and Eddie's application to adopt got rejected, so I volunteered to be their surrogate, but it turns out they both wanted more. . .we all wanted more," Chrissy said. "Especially me, I've been pining for Eddie for the last five years."

"Okay, you did NOT tell me that," Eddie said.

"I didn't?" She asked.

"No, you did not," he said.

"Well. . . Would it make you feel better to know that I've been pining for Steve for even longer?" Chrissy asked.

"No!" Steve and Eddie exclaimed.

"Well, we're here now," Steve said with a sigh as he pulled his partners to him. "That's all that matters."

MONTHS LATER. . .

Chrissy was starting her eighth month of pregnancy when her mother decided to visit. It had been years since she had last seen her, and she had hoped that her mother had changed. Her hopes had been dashed, however, when she opened the door.

"You and your children are going to burn in hell," Laura said, and Chrissy had slammed the door in her face. "CHRISTINE! You open this door! It's bad enough that we haven't seen you in years! It's worse that we had to hear about it from someone else that you're living in sin with a couple of f - "

Laura hadn't been able to finish the sentence because Chrissy had opened the door and punched her mother in the face. Laura fell to the floor, dazed, as her nose began to bleed. Chrissy took the opportunity to call the cops and then went back to her mother.

"Eddie and Steve are the best things that have ever happened to me. I am in love with them, and they are in love with me. I couldn't ask for better fathers to my children. They have made me happier than you and Dad ever did. They're my family, not you," Chrissy said. "I had really hoped you had changed. . .and by the way, your precious little girl isn't quite straight either. . .that's always been the case. I've fucked men. I've fucked women. I even fucked one of my fellow cheerleaders right in your bed. Have a nice life, Laura."

The entire exchange had wiled up the twins, and they kicked at her stomach as she waited inside for the cops to show up. Chrissy placed a hand on her stomach to calm her girls down before collapsing onto the couch to cry. The cops had left after gently questioning Chrissy and escorted her mother away, as she refused to leave, just as Eddie and Steve were coming home. They stumbled over each other as they tried to get to her even though she wasn't going anywhere at all. Chrissy couldn't help but laugh at them as they knelt in front of her.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked.

"I'm fine. Better than ever, actually," Chrissy grinned. "I got to punch my mom!"

"I didn't even know your mother was visiting," Eddie said.

"She called a while back, and I completely forgot," Chrissy said. "I didn't remember until after you left to pick up Wayne. . .uh, where is uncle Wayne?"

"I ain't as young as I used to be, darling," Wayne said as he came through the door. "Your fellas ran as soon as they saw the cop cars. So, you punch your mom, huh? Don't get up."

Wayne walked over to Chrissy and hugged her tightly.

"Yeah, she came for a visit, and I thought we could patch things up, but all she did was tell me that our children were going to hell. She was about to call Eddie and Steve a very nasty word, so I punched her, and then I told her I wasn't exactly straight myself," Chrissy said.

"What a bitch!" Eddie scowled and then his face softened. "Your mother, not you!"

"I knew who you were talking about, Eddie," Chrissy laughed.

"It's a shame that your mother is so full of hate, but one day, she's going to regret losing you," Wayne said. "You're a wonderful girl, and you're going to a better mother than she ever will. I'm so grateful to think of you like a daughter and so honored that when your kids are born, they'll get to call me Grandpa."

"Thank you, Uncle Wayne," Chrissy said as she cried.

"I love you, darling," Wayne said and pulled a bag out of his luggage. "Got you something for the little tykes."

"It's little hats!" Chrissy shrieked when she pulled two pink and red hats out of the bag.

"I figured they could start their own collection if they wanted to," Wayne said.

"You are not going to turn our children into hoarders. . .oh, but they're so cute!" Eddie exclaimed. "They're so wittle! Stebe! Wittle tiny hats for their heads!"

"I see that," Steve laughed in amusement.

"You guys are all that I need. You, Vickie, Robin. . .everyone. . .you're my family," Chrissy said. "I haven't needed my mom for a long time, and I am happy that I closed the chapter on that part of my life. I love you."

Later that night, after having dinner with the guys, Wayne, Vickie, and Robin, Chrissy was sprawled out on the bed with Eddie. He had fallen asleep across her stomach after reading to the babies. Steve had just finished cleaning up in the kitchen when he came into the bedroom to get ready for bed. Steve turned to Chrissy as he slipped off his pants.

"Are you sure that you're alright?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm a little sad for her. She's always going to be this hateful woman, and she's just choosing to live her life like that," Chrissy said. "I don't want to do the same as her, so I'm not going to be angry with her, I'm choosing not to give a shit. If that's how she wants to live, that's on her. I'm going to focus on the wonderful life that I fought to have. . . That I continue to fight for. Our girls have plenty of women in their life to look up to."

"And the most important woman in their life, you," Steve said as he crawled across the bed to kiss her and then kiss her stomach.

He moved Eddie so he wasn't sleeping across her stomach, and Eddie flopped over on his side in his sleep.

"You're looking incredibly sexy tonight, Steven," Chrissy purred. "Want to do it against Eddie's back again?"

"What?!"

"Ha! I knew you weren't really sleeping," Chrissy said.

"I was until Steve moved me," Eddie said and flopped around to face them. "Please, tell me that you guys never fucked against my back while I was sleeping. . .Please tell me you're joking."

Chrissy and Steve giggled.

"Christine! Steven!"

A FEW WEEKS LATER. . .

" . . . Traitors, the lot of you!" Robin yelled.

"Oh, come on, you knew this was going to happen," Steve said as he packed up a box. "I know we put this off as much as possible, but we needed a bigger place for the babies."

"And Eddie's personality," Chrissy said as she waddled out of the bedroom.

"Oh, if you didn't look so adorable in those overalls of yours, I'd get you, Cunningham," Eddie said.

"Put me to work, boss," she grinned.

"You're already doing something," Eddie said. "You're creating life, and the doctor told you to take it easy."

"He also said that I can move around," Chrissy said.

"Mm, I just know the thing you can help me with," Eddie said.

He flicked on the radio and pulled her into his arms. Fire and Rain had just started. Chrissy bit her lip. Her favorite song. She didn't complain as Eddie her close and started to sway, singing along to the song. Chrissy smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. It was a bit difficult with her enormous belly, but they made it work. This would be the last time they would dance in this apartment.

"How is this helping you?" Chrissy asked.

"It's helping him get out of working," Ronnie's voice floated in. "We didn't come all this way just to watch you use your pregnant girlfriend as an excuse to get out of packing."

"I would never," Eddie gasped, and Chrissy pulled back to look at him.

"You so would," Chrissy said.

Gareth, Jeff, and Frankie had come in behind Ronnie to load up more boxes in the moving van downstairs. Ronnie had offered help immediately when she heard that her best friend was moving. She hadn't been able to get out of work lately, so she had taken the opportunity to see her best friend.

"I have done a lot of the packing while you've gotten all nostalgic and distracted by each little thing you put away. How about you pack and I dance with Chrissy?" Steve asked.

"Ugh, fine," Eddie sighed and pulled away. "Our lover doesn't want us to be together."

"I guess that makes us forbidden lovers," Chrissy teased.

"Christine! You know my romantic heart can't take it when you say such words!" Eddie exclaimed. "I'm supposed to be packing!"

Steve laughed as he pulled Chrissy into his arms, hugging her tightly as they swayed.

"I can't believe you're leaving us!" Robin exclaimed.

"They're not leaving us, babe. They're moving into a house with a yard. Don't you want our goddaughters to be able to run around?" Vickie asked.

"Don't try to be logical with me when I'm trying to be irrational," Robin said, and Vickie laughed.

Chrissy laughed with Steve, and she looked at him fondly. God, he was cute and funny. He's so amazing with kids already. They both were going to be such amazing fathers. She was so glad she could do this for them, for all three of them. She couldn't wait to see them in action, but she was also going to miss being a home for their kids. Even though the journey had been difficult and scary, she loved every minute of it. She was grateful that she had Steve and Eddie by her side.

"What?" Steve asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, too," Steve said, smiling softly at her.

"I'm going to miss this place," Chrissy said. "It was our first home together. This is where you two got me pregnant."

"Yeah, I'm going to miss this place too," Steve said.

"You guys did a great job knocking me up," Chrissy giggled. "You did it very well."

"Yeah?" Steve smirked. "You liked that, did you?"

"Very much," she said, sighing happily. "I'm going to miss being pregnant."

"Well, you know, if you ever want to do this again, it's always been your choice," Steve said.

"Well, not right away. . .but I think you should get pregnant next," Chrissy said with a teasing grin. "You'd look beautiful."

"Hell, yeah, he would!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Get back to work, Munson!" Robin yelled and Eddie hissed.

"I can't get pregnant," Steve rolled his eyes.

"We still have no idea what those bat bites did to us!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Munson!"

"You are not the boss of me, woman!" Eddie yelled. "That title belongs to Chrissy and Steve."

"Get back to work," Chrissy and Steve said, laughing.

"Yes, dears," he said.

Chrissy laughed, and she kissed Steve, sighing as he wrapped his arms around her to deepen the kiss.

"Hey!" Gareth yelled, causing them to break the kiss. "We did not come here to watch you two have sex!"

"Hey! You don't see me complaining whenever I watch them together!" Eddie exclaimed and cackled.

"Shut the hell up, Eddie, you're not funny," Gareth yelled and Chrissy laughed again.

With all of them helping out, they got everything packed up quicker than they thought they would have. Chrissy leaned against the moving truck, pressed between Eddie and Steve, staring at the apartment building. They each had a hand under her stomach, relieving some of her pressure.

"This is it. . .," Chrissy said tearfully.

"It was a good five years," Eddie said. "So many memories. . .so many fights. . . So much great sex. . ."

"Eddie!" Steve scolded.

"Remember when you rescued those puppies off the street, and it turned out to be coyotes?" Eddie asked Steve.

"Excuse me, that was you," Steve scoffed.

"Oh, yeah," Eddie said.

"Those puppies got into our apartment, and they peed all over Robin's shoes," Chrissy giggled.

"I guess you could say she was pissed," Eddie said and they laughed.

"Remember the Italian guy Chrissy dated?" Steve asked.

"Oh, God, I hated that guy," Eddie said.

"What? You did?!" Chrissy asked.

"Yeah, we both did. Turns out we were both jealous," Steve said. "I can't believe we didn't see it then."

"Better late than never," Chrissy said and sighed. "Remember when Robin put Nair in Steve's shampoo and blamed it on Eddie?"

"What?! That was you?!" Steve and Eddie shrieked.

"Oh, I thought you told them," Chrissy said.

"I might have forgotten to tell them," Robin said, smirking.

"Steve made me sleep on the couch for like a month!" Eddie shrieked.

"Yeah, it was hilarious," Robin snorted.

"Where was I for all of this?" Vickie asked.

"You were visiting relatives. I got bored," Robin said.

"Yeah, I'm never leaving you alone again," Vickie said.

"Oh, how awful for me," Robin said with a grin. "At least she's not abandoning me like you guys are."

"Stop being dramatic, Robin," Steve scoffed. "We're not even moving that far away."

"Whatever, Steven, I'm over it," Robin said, rolling her eyes, and then she grinned. "We've already replaced you, anyway."

"What does that mean?" Steve asked.

A loud honking startled them both. Chrissy looked around the moving van and was surprised to see Argyle's yellow van behind them with another moving truck behind him. God, she was surprised that Argyle was still driving that thing. Argyle popped his head out of the window.

"Happy moving day, brocachos!" Argyle yelled.

He got out of his van while Nancy and Jonathan got out of the moving van.

"You gave our apartment to Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle?" Steve asked.

"We're in love!" Argyle yelled.

"You copying us, Wheeler?" Steve asked as they moved closer. "You know they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You really want to be me!"

"In your dreams, Harrington!" Nancy taunted and Steve groaned.

"You're never going to let that go, are you?" Steve asked.

"Nope!"

"We figured our shit out long before you did," Jonathan said. "We just didn't tell anyone."

"Well, I hope you guys enjoy living there," Eddie grinned. "I know we did."

They gave the place one last look before thanking everyone before heading off to their new house.

A FEW DAYS LATER. . .

They hadn't gotten settled very long before Chrissy's water broke, and she went into labor. It was a grueling process for her. It was a while before they actually took her to the delivery room. She had to watch as several women went before her. Finally, several hours later, Chrissy was pushing, and the doctor was between her legs, prepared to catch the first baby.

"You're doing so great, honey," Steve coached. "Just breathe."

"I AM FUCKING BREATHING!" Chrissy screamed and then she paused, crying. "I'm so sorry, you don't deserve that. I love you. You're doing so great as well."

As she pushed, she grabbed a hold of Eddie's shirt, and he let out a cry of pain.

"MY CHEST HAIR!" Eddie screamed.

"WHAT CHEST HAIR?! YOU'RE NOT STEVE!" Chrissy yelled. "YOU THINK THAT HURTS - oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I swear I told myself I wasn't going to be like this - OH FUCK, THIS HURTS! JESUS H CHRIST!"

Chrissy rolled her eyes and for a moment she shared a smile with Eddie. Yeah, he was definitely rubbing off on her. The first baby girl came out and Eddie scurried over to watch over them while they cleaned her off. Steve stayed with Chrissy, holding her hand as they took care of their daughter. A few minutes later their second daughter was born and residing next to her sister. A moment later, Chrissy was holding both of them in her arms and she couldn't stop crying. She never loved anyone the way she loved these babies.

"I'm sorry, Steve and Chrissy," Eddie sniffled. "I love them more than you two now."

"Totally understandable, I definitely love them more than you two," Steve said as held one of their hands.

"You should hold them," Chrissy said.

"Okay, no, I'm definitely going to break them," Eddie said and wiped away tears. "Who decided that I should be a father?!"

"We did," Steve and Chrissy said.

"You're not going to break them," Chrissy said. "I love you; you're going to be a great father. Pick up your daughter."

Eddie nodded and picked up his daughter while Steve picked up the other twin. Chrissy smiled as she watched them both. Yes, this was definitely the best decision she had ever made.

"Steve, baby," Eddie sniffled.

"Yeah?" Steve asked, his voice thick with emotion.

"Is this what being mugged feels like?" he asked.

"What?" Steve and Chrissy asked in confusion.

"I'm looking at her and I want to give her everything that I have," he said. "Yeah, this is definitely a stick up. My sweet little heart thief."

"I had no clue where that was going," Steve cried. "But that was so sweet! We've just been mugged."

They were all laughing when Wayne, Robin, Vickie and Ronnie came in. Chrissy was glad that Ronnie was able to stay just a few more days.

"You ready to meet your grandkids, Uncle Wayne?" Eddie asked.

Wayne had already been crying. Chrissy could tell by his red rimmed eyes.

"Who's this little darling?" Wayne asked.

"This one is Wynona Robin Harrington Munson," Eddie said. "Chrissy came up with Wynona, it was the closet name to Wayne that she could find."

"Oh, sweetheart, you didn't have to do that," Wayne said.

"I wanted to," Chrissy said.

"You mean a lot to all of us," Steve said. "Of course, you're in there too, Robin."

"Oh my god! Okay, I'm going to be cool, I'm going to be cool," Robin said and looked at Wynona over Eddie's other shoulder. "Hi, baby birdie."

"This little girl is Elizabeth Veronica Harrington Munson," Steve said. "If anyone was wondering."

"Veronica?" Ronnie asked with wide brown eyes, that were so much like Eddie's.

"You think that I'm not going to name one of my kids after my own platonic soulmate?" Eddie grinned. "You've been my best friend since we were eight years old. Of course, it's Veronica."

"Oh, hell," Ronnie said, her eyes filled with tears and taking off her corduroy ball cap.

Chrissy smiled, surrounded by most of her family, and she couldn't help but think about how they all got there. She wondered if they had all gotten there sooner if she had been quicker in asking Steve out before he asked out Nancy. Sure, she would have gotten with Steve, and getting with Jason would have never happened. Maybe if she hadn't listened to her mother and continued hanging out with Eddie at the talent show, but she couldn't dwell on that. . .they were all here now. Despite all of the heartache that happened, everyone came out on top.

"Is it just me, or does Wynona look like Eddie and Elizabeth look like Steve?"

"Robin!"

. . . Oh, I'm a lucky man to count on both hands, the ones I love. Some folks just have one. Yeah, others, they got none. Stay with me. Let's just breathe.

[livesworthlivingau]

Behind the Vale Chapter 28

ISAT/Two Hats Spoilers below! CW: Outbursts, Mentions of stabbing/killing.

This chapter is pretty much the same scene as the end of the previous Sif chapter, just from Vale's perspective, also a tiny addition at the end.

"Before I explain this, it's not their fault, please don't blame them, they were going through a lot and I didn't notice how it was affecting them and I told their secret an-" [Stardust starts to explain frantically before Nille grabs them by the shoulders to help calm him down.]

"Hey, easy, just start at the beginning okay?" [She tries to comfort him, to which he nods and take a deep breath.]

"... When I first looped back all those years, I was... frozen? I was panicking, stuck in my head, I thought it must be a dream or something, there's no way this was really happening, right?... And then I heard their voice... and all of that just went away." [You blink a couple times, glancing up at them to make eye contact... He never told you that. That just hearing your voice made everything okay in such a terrifying situation...]

"I ran to find them right after, as fast as I could, and... I was just so happy to see them, I didn't think about how they were feeling... forced to be back, I'd been through so much and they were just left behind... and then I dragged them along back here to force them into a family they didn't want any part in."

"Stardust... That's..." [You interrupt. He's trying to make it out as his fault. You're unsure if Stardust is that delusional that they truly believe it, or if they're just trying to take as much blame off you as he can.]

"It's true Vale, and I'm sorry. I really don't blame you for what happened." [You look away again, no matter what they truly believed, you weren't going to be able to convince them to stop at this rate. Nille still looks very confused, waiting for the story to continue.]

"So things seemed fine for a little while, but then Odile noticed I was doing a little too well, and I told her about everything... including their secret, which they made me promise not to tell." [You brace yourself... You knew the truth would be coming soon.]

"Vale found out what I did, they were already on the verge of snapping and that pushed them over the edge, so... they had to go back, before I dragged them to the party... They had to make us all loop back..." [You grip the fabric of your sleeves tightly as you hug yourself. You can't stand to look at either of them, you just want this over with, you just want to be exiled already, you just want this all done...]

"Frin, tell me what happened, please."

"Vale... They..." [Oh blind it all, He can't say it either.]

"I STABBED HIM! I SHOVED HIS OWN DAGGER INTO HIS HEART AND FORCED HIM BACK, OKAY?! I'M A MONSTER AND A MURDERER!!!" [They both jump back at your sudden screaming, Nille even pulls away from you like the monster you were.]

"N-No! You're not, Vale, you knew I'd be fine! You knew I'd loop!"

"And what if you didn't?!?! What if it all ended right there?!? How could I do such a thing?! How could I take that risk?! How could I hurt you like that?!" [You were absolutely manic, a crazed look in your eyes as you gripped your hair painfully tight. Before you could manage to scream again, you suddenly felt those strong, calloused hands around your face, holding you in place to ground you.]

"Hey hey hey! Vale, Calm down please." [You stopped... You felt your tears flowing down your face. You stare back into Nille's eyes, confused, unsure why they weren't looking at you like the monster you truly were.]

"You made a mistake... a big one, sure, but a mistake none the less. Frin's okay now, right?"

"B-But... I killed them... H-how could anyone forgive me for that?..."

"Well, Frin did, and that's the most important person to do so I'd say... It's a lot to take in alright, still not really sure how I feel about it right now... but I'm not just gonna hate you for it, especially after everything." [You still don't understand. You try to figure out why she might be lying to you, or how she could accept this, or what sort of wild trick this might be... Could she truly forgive us for that?... She hasn't known him for long, maybe that's why... She'll learn to resent us eventually.]

"I doubt you want to go back in there tonight. Maybe you should stay at the Inn for tonight, cool off a little..." [You pull away from her slightly, wiping your tears.]

"Y-Yes... that sounds like it's for the best..." [Her hand gently grabs your arm before you can leave, squeezing it a little.]

"This doesn't give you permission to run away though! Remember... you made a promise." [She reminds you with a light smile, letting you slip free of her grip.]

"... Right... I promise." [You still can barely stand to look at either of them, Stardust just standing a few steps back to let you both have your moment.]

"We'll see you tomorrow, Vale?..." [He asks, almost pleading even. You nod to them before turning away and heading for the Inn. You can still feel them both staring as you do so, as if making sure you don't just head into the woods instead.]

-------------------------------------------------

[You collapse onto the bed on your little room at the Inn. You look down at the bottle of sleeping medicine they so kindly offered you at the front desk when you'd asked. You take a look at the recommended dosage and pour out one extra, popping it into your mouth and dry swallowing it. You lie back and stare at the ceiling for a moment, letting your eyes slowly drift shut and begging for sleep to claim you that night.]

[myfairkatiecat]

nightfall was crazy, but I'm also kind of confused??? It went by sooo fast I was like WHAT? WAIT, WHAT? WAIT WAIT WAIT-

Love the fact that they went on with keefes whole "I'm not worth it, but you are, so I'm going to take over decisions we need to make (as a team) and screw them over so that they cause harm to me and not you!" Kinda vibe, honestly thought that after he came back from the neverseen in lodestar they were just going to forget about it, yk??

Only thing I really didn't like is that like...everyone has a slight distrust to keefe (at least in the start, till he apologized ) but Sophie, the person who was (in my opinion) most affected by his 'betrayal' never once had a doubt???? Like, if someone betrayed me, right? Yk they're my friend whatever whatever, ID STILL HAVE SOME KIND OF LIKE ISSUES WITH THEM???

I feel like her distrusting keefe and then slowly learning to trust him would have made the book MUUUCH better!!

Also, I'm still not getting where the Fitz discourse is coming from, like, his sibling just betrayed him, fell unconscious and WOKE UP WITH NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING?? I can see where the anger issues come from

Holy shit this was long, sorry!

-- @localburntoutkid

Had a blast reading this!

You’re so right about Keefe. That definitely doesn’t get dropped after lodestar, or even nightfall—it’s one of his character’s main flaws, and while it does shift and evolve as the series moves on, it’s kind of there, you know? And I’m really hoping it resolves in some way by the end of the series, because his arc is just… so interesting to me. Because it is NOT arc-shaped. At all.

I get what you mean about Sophie being the only one who doesn’t distrust Keefe when he comes back. I really like that too acknowledge that it’s a Sophie-specific thing, though! Too many people forget that this is a third person limited story told by an unreliable narrator, and act like Shannon Messenger herself is telling us Keefe deserves to be fully trusted. Sophie Foster decides, at the end of Neverseen, not to hate him, and Lodestar is where she has her moments of doubt and distrust, but even in Lodestar, she always believes in Keefe’s good intentions. There’s even a scene where she says something like “Yes, Keefe’s plan is horrible and I hate it, but his heart is in the right place. I have to believe that.” The part about keefe’s plan is paraphrased, but she did say she needs to believe his heart was in the right place, in that wording, and it’s fascinating to me. She’s very attatched to Keefe (obviously) and I think it’s mostly for her own sanity that she chooses over and over to believe that there’s something right about what he’s doing, because letting him go sounds excruciating, even by his own fault.

I actually have no issue with this being Sophie’s perspective, and I actually find it interesting especially in the context of sokeefe, but I wish we got to see this portion through another character’s eyes. For example, Fitz. Someone who does distrust him afterwards, and rightfully so.

As far as Fitz discourse goes, that stuff stemmed less from nightfall and more from flashback and legacy. I don’t hate Fitz in either of those books, but you’ll probably notice the moments that made people kind of go nuts about hating him and ran away with his character (personally, I think Fitz is fully understandable in both books, but don’t fully condone the way he acts in a few scenes, particularly in legacy. I’ll explain later after you’ve read it)

Don’t apologize for length, I’m literally Katie, have you met me? Everything I write is longer than I intend

I’m glad you’re having fun with the KOTLC series. Keep me updated!!!

[velandvithestarlightgullwings]

A conversation needs to be had regarding the democratic party

I've been particularly harsh when it comes to clout chasers regarding Palestine and the instant gratification the world seems to want without putting in the work.

But I want to talk to the Pro-palestinian supporters as well as the online leftist and liberal groups as a whole.

Now, up until Trump's first strike in july, I always thought they MAGA was deeply unified. It didn't matter how awful their leaders treated them, it didn't matter how much disdain their leaders showed them, they always fell in line to vote for Trump and lowkey, I respected it as they, for every single fault they have, loyalty was not lacking on their side.

Meanwhile, I was growing furious with my side of the fence because there was always fighting. I just wanted us all, for a single moment in time, when so much was at risk, to stop the infighting, unite against s common enemy, and defeat the dictator wanna-be once and for all.

Because I know that while MAGA have the cult-like ability to become a homogeneous being, we on the left are basically a bunch of ideologies mushed together under the blue umbrella.

Yesterday, I wrote a blog about how empathy was lacking and it's true. Palestine supporters are willing to throw America under the bus, where marginalized people like trans, minorities, disabled and elderly people will be the first to be hit if Trump wins, followed by white women.

But empathy is a two way street and a lot of people on the left are forgetting that Palestinian lives are being lost every day. The BIDEN administration is acting like an abused housewife to Netanyahu by refusing to even look him in the eye and pull support and while Harris believes in a ceasefire and a two-state solution, she still believes in the ally ship between Israel and America and believes they have a right to defend themselves.

And if we are real, America is the big sister to Israel. We basically taught them everything they needed to know in terms of being colonizers and unabashed murderers.

And keep in mind, im not talking about all Israeli people. I know plenty who are standing with Palestinians both in the states and outside of it.

I'm talking about the Zionist settlers that relish in Palestinian deaths, like Netanyahu, while also crying the victim because of what happened on October 7th (even though he was warned of Hamas attacking several times and still did nothing but that's a conversation for later)

As Americans and those on the left, we need to have a deep conversation with ourselves and ask two things.

Why are part of the left willing to overlook genocide?

And why the other part doesn't care about their own people and their plight?

Neither of these questions are easy to answer but I'm willing to give it a shot.

The first question is a simple one.

2016.

The year where everything went wrong. Hillary Clinton decided to run for president. The dems wanted this and they did everything they could to support it. They threw Bernie Sanders under the bus, this infuriating the youth, they propped Trump up to give her an easy win, and they were arrogant enough to ignore the blue wall. All of this, and the baggage she had from decades of slander, Russia's interference, and Comey's Benghazi investigation literally a week before the election took a flawless victory to a stunning defeat.

After that. Four years of fuckery that left the entire country shaken, where every day seemed like a new low. But what made it worse was the laws that were gutted, one of which made Covid so much worse, the 2 surpreme court judges being pushed by Turtle McConnell, leading to Roe V Wade being slain. among many other things.

It took a near decade but many people on the left are battered and fearful of another Trump win, especially now with Agenda 47/P2025 on the horizon.

Because of this fear, and the guilt that many feel by not holding their nose and voting for Hillary in the first place is causing an overwhelming overreaction by doing "blue no matter who." People claim that "Blue Maga" is real, and they are right. But it's not because of the same reasons as MAGA.

MAGA exists for people to be their worse selves. They can be ignorant, belligerent, racist. Sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic because Trump has allowed those bigots to come out of the shadows and be legitimized in the political world.

"Blue Maga" is created by fear, guilt and understanding of what is at risk by Trump winning again and further making things worse for all.

Because of the Israel-Palestine conflict getting mainstream, some people feel that they need to focus on their own situation before anyone else's, some people (sad to say) really don't care about something that isn't effecting them, some also have Zionist viewsx and a small amount can't forgive them for celebrating 9/11 the day it happened. Whatever the case, they want to stop Trump and MAGA by any means necessary, no matter who gets in their way.

Now, the second issue is also a combination of a lot of things. A lot of the protesters (correctly) feel like genocide is absolutely something that should be fought against, especially as its using our tax dollars to fund said genocide. It also doesn't help that thanks to the internet, a lot of them are scarred from the images and news reports they were bombarded with on various social media sites regarding Palestine.

Something like death and human sorrow is never easy to forget. I was a little girl living in Chicago. I've already saw a lot of death. And then after moving to Vegas, 9/11 happened and seeing/hearing the bodies splatter on the ground, the screams, the...everything was harrowing.

I don't blame anyone being emotionally disturbed by it all.

And as I've railed about many times, many social media people have hopped from supporting Ukraine to supporting Palestine for the social justice moral purity points to make themselves look good.

Also, you have the sleeper agents that are using Palestine as a way to help MAGA and Russia win the elections along with Pro-Hamas supporters (not Palestinian supporters. They get conflated often so I have to make the difference) using this to reveal their antisemitism.

But for a lot of young people, this is their first really big social movement so they are throwing everything into it because they are at the stage that they believe that they can make a movement that will sweep the world ala the civil rights movement, conveniently ignoring how much strategic planning, pragmatism, peaceful riots, and patience it took.

However, much like "Blue Maga" they've decided that Palestine is the end all be all and damn anyone or anything that gets in their way.

This leaves them blind of the suffering of their own communities. They don't rage over homelessness, the cost of living, the stagnant wages, the rampant discrimination, disenfranchisement and disinformation that is going on. And they sure don't see how women are being made second class citizens right in front of their eyes.

They either don't see it, believe that all these things are "first world problems," outright think they another Trump presidency wouldn't be so bad and that people were exaggerating, even though it took until the 20s to see how Trump's presidency really tore apart this country, they think its karma, or the worse case is that they don't care about what Trump will do because they think they are in a privileged position to not be hit with the worse that can happen.

So this is where we stand.

Now we have to ask what to do about it?

Truth is, what can be done?

The democratic party is in a state of flux. Many conservatives have come out to support Harris in an "the enemy of my enemy is my temporary friend" deal including resident devil Dick Cheney, Biden continues to bow to Israel due to the alliance they have, and third party candidates have been revealed to be MAGA in disguise.

One side believes that teaming with a demon to slay a devil is a necessary evil while the other side fears this is the proof that Democrats are going further right.

But if half of the democratic party refuses to vote due to Palestine, the people who are fearful of what they can lose will go to desperate measures to survive.

My verdict? We really need ranked voting.

[firelise]

I've seen thousands of Evelyns, but never a Evelyn like you. You have so many goals you never finished. Dreams you never followed. You are living your worst you. I can't be the worst… what about the hot dog one? No. Everyone here agrees. This one's worse.

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022)