#especially when u have to take into consideration that every one of the turtles have like 3 different nicknames for each other

[hellastress]

MY EXPERIENCE WITH 12TH SUN SIGN EDITION

ARIES:

* These people are like an alarm clock, loud, annoying and wants you to move ur asss immediately

* if u want a peaceful morning i suggest get away with them

* when they do something they want it done or else they wont finish it, this is why they tend to thrive in competition

* they take everything with passion very aggressive in their endeavor, but honestly i love their dedication, they really are the boss bitxh u dont wanna cross

* my parents are both aries sun and when i tell u that i am always stimulated in our house, i meant that shit

* they don’t wanna be late, they always want things to be hurry! Hurry! Fck this shit, my taurus moon ass is always so stress everytime we have to go somewhere

* They are the life of party! If not, the party is their life, they crave a loud environment

* They initiate first, one thing i love them is they don’t let u have the first step, they are the first step

* I find that even the women who have this placement are so masculine in their own way, some have athlete physics, sharp bones and taller than their actual height

TAURUS:

* ohhhh my ppl, but sometimes u guys move like a fckng turtle, pls can we atleast be considerate to other ppl?

* This ppl don’t care especially if they are hungry, they will eat in front of u and wont dare to share their foods, or anything that gives physical comfort

* when deprive of sleep, they will refuse to talk to anybody and when generally not in the mood, everything will be on fire if they are not 100% okay

* They stand on their business, whatever business they have in life, they are stubborn about it

* But if they are in their best self, u get the most adorable, caring friend, they are so chill, so laid back, i feel at home in their presence

* Lazy!? Tf, one thing i know is they will not initiate if things don’t benefits in the long run, i swear they are the most hardworking i know, they have this one goal direction in life that they don’t want ppl to interfer

* everything must be pleasant, they don’t like it when something is smelly or their spaces is stinky, it ruin the vibe for them

* A taurus won’t be involve to any drama, they will let u which is funny cause ur wasting ur energy

* beautiful ppl, their style are so comfy, most of them love wearing pants with good fabric (silk pants, jogger pants, loose pants)

* I find that men who have this placements are feminine in their own way, angelic face, boyish, they have this gentle vibe with them

GEMINI

* What is “shut up?” I love them they are like my cousin, like i can talk shit with them and they will not take anything personal

* They are sooo creative, i love how their mind works, they are so flexible, adaptable, a true chameleon

* They can have like 100 hobbies and they will excel at some of them

* They love to argue for no reason just bc they are bored (diabolic)

* This ppl can’t stop moving, if it’s not their hand, their mouth will refuse to shut up, it’s like there’s something that wants to come out

* Their music taste is top tier! They like pop and trendy music

* Very sociable ppl, they know everyone, ur friends from the other block? Oh best believe they know them, the drama in the other room? Yes they know, they don’t attract gossip the gossip are attracted to them haha

* Undeveloped gemini is a pain in the ass, a true menace, they can act careless and bitchy around ppl they don’t find popular or don’t fit the social standard

* They have a fairy look to them, beautiful hand, fair skin, chubby like, they have a bouncy effect whether it’s their hair (most of them have wavy hair) or the way they walk

CANCER

* Emotional who? These ppl won’t care about other ppl if they are not part of their circle, if they don’t consider u as their friend or family, u won’t see the emotional side of cancer

* Most of them are reserved, they like to observe and move side ways, i find it funny every time a cancer enter a room, u won’t feel their presence unless u care enough to notice them

* They don’t like attracting attention especially drama that don’t involve their family or friends

* They are so gentle with everything, the way they talk have a pure intentions to it

* Don’t hurt any animals infront of them u will not like what they will do to u

* Very innocent, child like vibe even if they look mature, u can still feel the youthfulness in their presence

* Literally the “big sis” most of them carry their family’s legacy, either handling the business, taking care the oldies in the family or they are the baby in the family

* A cancer won’t socialize if they don’t feel safe in your presence or the environment they are in, they don’t like speaking to a larger conference

* they thrive when they can connect emotionally with ppl, i love talking to them everytime were alone, they can be the wiser and smartest ppl in the room

* Like a moon, cancer have different shape of sizes, they’re either have a round face, crescent moon face, or have a crab looking body, like long limbs, chubby like body or either skinny with chubby faces, fair skin and average height

* A lot of Cancer men i know have a good relationship with women, some of them can be surrounded by female friends

VIRGO

* Calm the fuck down? Chill, breathe in, breathe out

* These ppl either a clean freak or the disorganized-organized ppl

* Stop moving their things! they want it where they leave it, they don’t like it when u clean their spaces, leave it, u will stress them out

* They overthink to the point they couldn’t sleep, they care about even the tiniest mistake they made today

* The things u barely notice? Oh best believe they will point it out even your insecurities haha sometimes they are unaware of this behavior of them so take it as a way to develop yourself

* They love to talk shit! I swear this is why they love gemini bc they can talk and rant and they will not get tired of that haha

* If a virgo cares enough for you, their act of service is top tier, u don’t have assignment? Okay i will make one, u forgot something, they will not forget it, need something? Yes they have it, they have your back (pls lord give me my own venus virgo)

* These ppl either thrive in school or won’t care but will still pass enough just because they need to

* These mf’s are selective, if u don’t stimulate them or u don’t pass their whatever tf standard, u will not have any access to them, even the food they ate, the things they buy, they are so practical and picky with everyhing they allow in their life and 10 pts for that

* They love to read, they are so random that you can get a 10+ random facts u don’t even ask for

* Everything must have a meaning! A purpose, they have this WHY in their forehead

* If food is the key to a man’s heart, a Hygiene is the key to their heart, long nails? Eww, messy clothes? Eww! Eating like it’s your last meal? Eww! Like everything must be in the ethical standard

* They observe like a hawk, this is why ppl are not comfortable around them, they are not scared to confront or point ur mistake, and it’s annoying tbh having someone to say every shit lmao

* The corporate style look suits them so well, i love seeing them dress so formal, it gives a sophisticated vibes to them

LIBRA

* Keeping up with the kardashian? No, more like keeping up the peace even tho ppl have done walk all over you, kinda bullshit but were keeping the peace right haha!

* Libra’s are sociable butterfly in a silent mode, u can see them everywhere surrounded by ppl and they are not loud about it

* These ppl would rather sacrifice their mental health than confront a person because they love to keep a harmonious relationship

* Libra’s can be a cheater or enabler they said, but these ppl tend to stay longer in a relationship whether it’s about friendship, because they have already attached some aspects of their life to these ppl that they can’t imagine having to fall apart with them

* These ppl love listening to classical music, a friend of mine has a playlist with just a bunch of classical music, it calms them

* A good ppl in general, imagine those kids who have complete set of stationary, lunch box, good style, someone who smell nice, yeah that’s a libra

* Pleasant in all aspects, they have an artistic keen in them, whether it’s about their style, their writing, their house, everything must catch the eyes, this is why i find them gravitate towards virgo’s sharp eyes

* They love white and blue, pastel in general, them liking colors that’s not too warm nor too cool

* They love justice, they love fairness, they are all about balance but when it comes to their personal life everything is opposite and i can’t blame them bc were humans and life is full of shit

* There’s nothing a libra’s like is when someone act like a decent human being, ppl who have decorum/manners, ppl who take care of themselves, ppl who are stable in life

* They have this vibe of a statue you can see in museum, calm yet head turner

[whoreadsnowadays]

CAMERON NICK NAME WOULD HAVE BEEN RONN??? RON???

YEAH. RON. I KNOW. I was gonna just let them crop up and u guys find out that way but I'm putting them under the cut anyway bc I'm excited and wanna share :] but I will give u the option to surprise urselves

Cameron

Cam

Cammy

Amy (ay-me)

Ammy (am-me)

Ron.

Vigilante

V

Anty

[akocomyk]

Twenty-eight books read in 2019.  Sixteen longlisted books.  One person who wastes his time writing sh*t as if they really matter.

Here it is.  The best books I read in the past year.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

The unfortunate books that I had to let go since I only had ten spots to fill.

Turtles All the Way Down by John Green (2017)

Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie (1934)

History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera (2017)

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie (1926)

Bird by Bird by Anne Lammott (1994)

The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith (2014)

*Ratings range from 1 to 5, with 5 being the highest

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

10th Place

56 by Bob Ong (2018)

Rating: 4.300

Bob Ong makes a comeback on my list with his latest novel.  His other book, Si, ranked 10th last 2015.  This is the second time a Filipino book enters the list and is also the second nonfiction book ever—after Into the Wild last 2016.

In his latest release, Ong returns to the writing style that made him famous— reminiscent of his earlier books like ABNKKBSNPLAko.  56 is like a 300-page commentary or editorial about the issues of the present Filipino generation.

Other readers have found the book a little too preachy.  I find it enlightening as it serves as a wake-up call to the Filipinos who are turning their blindsides to the harsh realities of our nation.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

9th Place

Mga Kirot ng Kapalaran (Kikomachine Komix blg. 11) by Manix Abrera (2015)

Rating: 4.445

This is a long-overdue recognition to my favorite comic strip artist (Fun Fact: I met him quite a few times already).  For many years, I've ignored the chance to even put his works in the list of contenders.  I'm not throwing it away again.  Now, I have my first book to enter the top 10 classified under comics and graphic novels.

In this collection of strips by Manix Abrera, his work remains as humorous and as satirically laughable as the first time I saw his comic. Themes have changed to reflect the new trends and issues of our present society.

For as long as Manix draws and publishes his work, I will continue to read them as I know he gives an intellectual yet amusing input to our society's problems.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

8th Place

Mga Batang Poz by Segundo Matias, Jr. (2018)

Rating: 4.450

“Beautiful and relevant, but not flawless,” this is what I said on my review for this YA novel.

Mga Batang Poz is the third Filipino book on this list.  Having three books on the list is a first.  Furthermore, this is also the first time in four years that a Filipino book enters the list.

As previously mentioned, I have certain problems with regard to the overarching narrative of the novel.  I wish that Matias could’ve written something more elaborate or something that doesn’t feel forced.

Nevertheless, the book accomplishes its goal of being a story that advocates HIV awareness, especially towards the youth.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

7th Place

The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate (2012)

Rating: 4.485

In this book, you'll see both the cruelty and the compassion of humanity through the eyes of a gorilla named Ivan who is the narrator of the story.

Ivan is based on a real-life gorilla who was being used as a live animal attraction in Zoo Atlanta.

It is quite obvious that the book is meant for a younger audience, but despite this, I know anyone of any age will be able to appreciate it.  Ivan is a gorilla after all, and I think the simplicity of how it was written suits his character, making the tone of the story more natural.

Overall, it was very touching.  Although it mirrors pretty much what happened to the real-life Ivan, it efficiently delivers its message for animal welfare.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

6th Place

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie (1939)

Rating: 4.525

This is a mystery novel filled with suspense and everything that'll make you love and hate it at the same time.  The horror it gives chills you to the bone for every page you turn.

Agatha Christie is insane—and I mean that in a good way.  The plot was so well-thought out that even when nearing at the end, I had no clue who the culprit was.  When it was revealed to me, I was like, “Yeah.  That makes absolute f*cking sense.”

For a book that has ten major characters, it does well in handling them.  You know when a piece of literature is brilliantly made when even if its length isn’t considerably long, it doesn’t sacrifice the characters’ backgrounds and the narrative of the story.

Despite the novel’s inhumane and despicable acts, it also addresses issues about criminal injustices that are still prevalent today.  In our country alone, criminals—corrupt officials, master drug dealers, rapists, murderers—are still roaming around the streets, evading the consequences of their actions.   At times when the law is not enforced properly, people resort to their own type of justice.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

5th Place

Darius the Great Is Not Okay by Adib Khorram (2018)

Rating: 4.590

In this debut novel by Adib Khorram, the titular character Darius suffers from clinical depression.  Also, he's a Star Trek and Lord of the Rings fan.

This book demonstrates the fact that real depression is not simply cured by positive reinforcement and bible verses—as what most overly religious people think.

The novel highlights Darius' relationship with the other characters—most especially with Sohrab.  It shows how he copes up with them while he struggles with his mental disorder.

There are also subtle hints of homosexuality, which added to the overall tension of the story since the main characters are Muslims.  It wasn't blatant but it was obviously present—in the right and necessary amount.

To me, this is a spiritual brother of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz—one of my favorite books.  It gave me the same feeling of awe, beautiful pain, and joyful nostalgia. There were parts that broke my heart—I was ugly crying while riding a bus—and by the end, I was a complete mess, although I'm utterly happy.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

4th Place

Moonrise by Sarah Crossan (2017)

Rating: 4.595

What I love most about this book is how it was written.  Instead of being in paragraphs, it was written in verses—like poetry.  I thought it was creative and oddly fitting for the story.

Even though there are more blank spaces on the pages than letters, those words are enough to draw me into the story.

The novel is about Ed whose brother was up on death row.  I found myself rooting for him, and I was hoping similarly to how he was hoping in the story.  When the end came, I couldn't help myself from closing my eyes.

The narrative was fairly simple, it matches the way it was written.  The characters—although few and also written with the utmost simplicity—feel so human and are not flat, cardboard cutouts.

In the light of all the flawed justice systems and abuses of law enforcers not just in America but everywhere else in the world, it's good to find a book that's bold enough to address such issues and an author who's brave enough to write them.

Lots of murderers are on the loose, yet there are innocent people being slaughtered for crimes they didn't commit.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

3rd Place

On the Come Up by Angie Thomas (2018)

Rating: 4.605

Just when you thought Angie Thomas couldn't write anything as good as The Hate U Give (THUG), she gives us this.  If it's not better, then it sure is as brilliant as her debut novel.

This is Thomas' second consecutive year in my list, with THUG bagging the top plum last year.

The novel is proof of Thomas’s writing prowess.  It successfully immersed me into the life of her protagonist, a life filled with hope, angst, and ambition.  And the dialogue… Especially the rap battles.  They were amazing.  Seeing as Thomas herself was a rapper, you can feel the ingenuity in her words.

Moreso, this is one book that we really need in our present times.  It reflects all of my sentiments regarding social media and how it can make or break a person.  And how much the oppressed and marginalized communities lack representation, and how they are still subject to much prejudice.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

2nd Place

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (2007)

Rating: 4.680

This beautiful novel demonstrates the horror of domestic violence towards women.  It also provides a glimpse of the people and culture of Afghanistan during the times of war.

I'm in love with how Khaled Hosseini's characters flesh out from the pages.  You'd love them.  You'd care for them.  Their agony becomes yours.  Their pain drips out from the corners of the books as your tears trail down your cheeks.

And on their sweet, small victories, you'd give a sigh of relief as the anxiety is slowly drained from your body.

In the two years that I've read a book by Hosseini, it didn't fail to shatter my heart. The Kite Runner ranked first in my 2017 list, and now this. If ever get to read another one of his books, I've no doubt it will also be a contender for that year's list.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

1st Place

Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman (2018)

Rating: 4.765

This book is also up on my shelf for the best sequels ever—be it for any medium.

I read this earlier this year and it remained unbeatable until 2019 ended.

This is the second book in Neal Shusterman's Arc of a Scythe trilogy, the sequel to Scythe—which placed 3rd in my 2017 list.

Growth and expansion. These are the things I love about the sequel.  Ronan and Citra, the two main protagonists of the trilogy, are older, wiser, and better people, despite the fact that they're teenagers.  You can feel their struggles with their respective endeavors.

Also, the universe is bigger.  The Arc of Scythe novels feature a world where death does not exist and everyone is biologically immortal.  In order to balance the earth’s population, there are these so-called Scythes whose life-long job is to assassinate anyone they choose.

In this sequel, you get to know more about the mechanisms of their world.  There’s a new main character, Grayson, who takes you deeper and gives you a view of what it's like to live as a normal human.

The book deals with the adverse effects of the ways power-hungry people want to achieve their ambitions.

But that's not why I went gaga after reading the book.

IT.  WAS.  EPIC.  The plot twists within the plot twists.  The narrative.  And the ending.  My god, that ending.  I COULD HEAR MY SILENT SCREAMS.  After the last page, the only thing I thought of was, "GIVE ME THE THIRD BOOK RIGHT NOW!"

Thunderhead isn’t flawless, but it’s a very fine piece of literature that I recommend to anyone who loves to read.

• • • • •

I hope I won't regret putting Thunderhead in first place after a few years.  I regret giving the top spot to I'll Give You the Sun last 2016.  After pondering about the books I've read in the past years, I've found that Anthony Doerr's All the Light We Cannot See is one remarkable and memorable book, and the one I should've given the highest honors.

Books with relevant themes dominated my shelf but the book that won my heart was the one with intricate plots and a phenomenal ending.  It feels weird but I hope for the best.

Happy New Year, everyone!

[swipestream]

Another Day, Another Gold Piece: 9 Unusual Historical Occupations For Your Game

Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

RPGs, like great historical dramas of imaginary history, tend to focus on the grand exploits of those whose names make it into the books: kings, queens, popes, caliphs, charlatans, and generals. But those are just the faces at the front; no movement, no city, no kingdom is possible without vast armies of people holding it up. Every bite of bread in a duke’s meal passes through hundreds of hands who till, mill, transport, guard, and bake it. Every stone that falls during a castle siege was once lifted by the back of a worker history forgot. But this is fantasy, and if our stories can raise the dead in howling masses to swarm over invading armies, surely we can raise up humble heroes who maybe never became kings, but instead made a difference in their small corners of the world.

Plus, if I read one more character backstory about a long-lost heir growing up in obscurity*, my eyes will roll so hard I might swallow them.

Most fantasy games do a pretty good job of providing a variety of backstory options: you can be royalty, soldiers, guild merchants, entertainers and more. Often, there’s an “other” option that provides the ability to play characters with more prosaic backgrounds. Frequently, these are light on detail, and for good reason. At first blush, it’s hard to argue for playing a mud-spattered peasant hacking away in a field when you can play a cloistered wizard or swashbuckling pirate.

With that in mind, this article is here to help you flesh out that “other” category a little bit, splitting into four main areas of lowborn adventure. The focus of this article is on games that at least somewhat model a fantastic version of semi-medieval or Renaissance Europe**. There are absolutely other games, and strong reasons to branch out beyond a teeny-tiny sliver of the world’s population when building out unbounded worlds of the imagination, but even that sliver has some depths we still haven’t plumbed in fiction and games. For instance: how did cities of tens of thousands of people handle waste without underground sewers? Read on to find out. You know you want to.

Artists:

Guild artisans in most games tend to focus around martially-applicable skills. Woodworking, stonemasonry, and maybe brewing. While artists may be (in fact probably are) members of guilds, a player or GM may want to focus on those specialists whose areas of expertise purely operate within the realm of the decorative. It’s tempting to write off such characters as flighty, irrelevant comic relief, but consider this: for an individual to make a living in any of these fields, they had to be at the absolute top of their artistic game, with sufficient customers to make a living—often an extravagant one. When power stemmed directly from proximity to the throne (or its delegated representative), these artists were sometimes able to wield considerable influence

…for an individual to make a living in any of these fields, they had to be at the absolute top of their artistic game, with sufficient customers to make a living—often an extravagant one. When power stemmed directly from proximity to the throne (or its delegated representative), these artists were sometimes able to wield considerable influence…

Share1

Tweet1

Reddit1

Email

—Catherine de Medici’s personal perfumer, Rene le Florentin (Renato Bianco), followed her to court at France, and may have even had secret passageways between his laboratory and her quarters.

Perfumer: of all the roles to ignore, this seems the easiest, until you consider that in order to have any kind of success with this relatively new technology, practitioners required regular access to exotic substances like musk and ambergris, in addition to laboratory facilities robust enough to extract oils from a dizzying array of other plants and even animals. Combine this with the fact that many nobles liked to have everything from their stockings to their gloves scented, a perfumer is the perfect place to start as a poisoner, or as the victim of an elaborate framing (as may very well have happened to poor Mr. Bianco).

Clothier: Being a tailor is a demanding job for any population—people of all shapes need to wear clothes, after all. As with everything else, however, working with nobility carried greater risks and greater rewards. Like all artists in this section, a gifted tailor had direct access to the halls of power, and the ability to define tastes for a generation. Additionally, many nations had sumptuary laws that prohibited individuals from dressing above their station. Any attempt at deception in the halls of power absolutely requires, if not a professional clothier, at least someone with a keen eye for detail and access to clothing that it would otherwise be illegal to own.

Visual Artist: Are you a visual artist? If so, cool. You can skip this section. You already get why artists are awesome and I don’t need to convince you.

If you’re not an artist, do me a favor. Draw someone. Your best friend. Yourself. Take as long as you need. Okay. Done? Do you think you could hand this to someone and have them pick out who you drew from a lineup? Another exercise: do the same thing with an object. A building. A strange plant or an even stranger animal. Remember that (absent world-changing magic) characters in these games exist without cameras or photocopiers. In addition to the access that any successful artist has during this time to the movers and shakers in their corner of the world, a visual artist has the nearly-magical ability to reproduce sights and structures that their audience hasn’t actually seen. Consider the chaos that an artist who has witnessed a crime committed by a well-connected protagonist can create.

Of course, this ability isn’t sorcery—it’s the result of painstaking training that can take up to thirteen years. But in the real world, it’s hard to argue with the results; works like the Sistine Chapel ceiling and the Vitruvian Man, as well as countless other visual masterpieces by artists named after mutant ninjas, speak to the power of art to speak to the human (or turtle, or rat) spirit.

Contrary to expectation, consider giving characters with artistic backgrounds bonuses to intimidation rolls (to represent the scary amount of power they can wield by proxy) or deception rolls, representing their skill in mimicking the customs of those they spend so much time around.

Noble Servants:

Dunrobin Castle, Scotland. Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

Distinct from courtiers or hangers-on, these are the people who do the actual work in a palace or estate. For every pampered nobleman or noblewoman, dozens or hundreds of people scurried invisibly in the background to ensure that arms were properly sewn on clothes, bread was baked, and candles were made. The number of servants a given noble had varied by rank, with barons having about 45, and royalty sometimes having nearly a thousand just for themselves. Some roles have more potential for adventuring than others—the more a lord or lady relies on a character, the less likely they are to be able to go dig around uninvited in a dragon’s stuff. Servants can include the usual exciting fairy-tale entries such as hunters, knights, and whipping-boys but also include such easily-overlooked roles as:

Valet of the Chamber: this role encompasses a number of potential duties within the palace—while it can be as menial as looking after a noble’s clothing and ensuring he or she is dressed well, this can also include work such as scheduling a lord’s time and determining whose requests make it onto the Queen’s reading list. While such valets may not have much spare time when duties called, thankfully, in the case of more important royalty, a different valet is assigned for daytime and night-time roles.

Stable-Keepers/Carters: If someone’s coming or going in a castle, odds are good that those who are responsible for driving and maintaining the only available methods of transit are going to know all about it.

Groom of the Stool: Exactly what it sounds like. This person was responsible for helping a noble in their most vulnerable state. Sure, it’s not glamorous, but no one in a castle is more likely to know the precise, gruesome details of a king’s health. More than an encyclopedic knowledge of what a given member of the aristocracy ate the day before, such individuals are very likely also…privy…to state secrets, and if someone’s looking to hide a secret affair (or the fallout from one), no one is more likely to know than the groom of the stool.

Note that noble servants generally have the run of a castle, and can be virtually anywhere without arousing too much suspicion. They’re also the most likely to know all the ins and outs of palace intrigue, without necessarily being invested in any of it. GMs interested in creating a mechanical benefit for castle servants may consider providing a bonus to rolls for stealth within the castle or among other servants, or for knowing the deep, dark secrets of those in power. Alternately with unfettered access to treasuries, wardrobes, and other resources, careful or canny characters can supply an entire adventuring party if they’re careful to cover their tracks (or to return what they’ve “borrowed” before the next time a blue blood needs it).

City Infrastructure:

Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

Even cities of just a few thousand can produce a truly prodigious amount of really gross fluid. And when you factor in the inherent squickiness Medieval or Renaissance diet, well…someone had to make the drains run on time. As anyone who has been to an outdoor festival can tell you, you can’t just take thousands of people into a field and expect everything to sort itself out. Those who are responsible for maintaining the gruesome underbelly of a city are every bit as important as those tending to the comfort of the upper classes, even (maybe especially) if those upper classes never see them.

Gong Farmer: Let’s talk about toilets. When heeding the call of nature, if a citizen of a medieval or Renaissance city was very lucky, they may find themselves near a “house of easement” over a river that conveniently washed away the evidence. As we all know, PCs are almost never actually lucky, so why not lean in and make a character or an NPC responsible for mucking out latrines and keeping the results outside the city? To add injury to insult, in the Ancient Roman Empire, these latrines were occasionally known to host dangerous creatures or explode, and

…if there’s anything your game needs more than a fireball spell, it’s a spontaneous fireball made of methane and decaying feces.

Share1

Tweet1

Reddit1

Email

if there’s anything your game needs more than a fireball spell, it’s a spontaneous fireball made of methane and decaying feces.

Sure, the job may be gross, but it also has its upsides for PCs. Some cities (such as London) enforced a strict curfew during this time period, and not only were gong farmers allowed to be out during this time period, but they were only allowed to be out during this time period for obvious reasons. It’s hard to find a better job (or at least a better cover) for characters looking to skulk around a city at night. In the real world, gong farmers routinely succumbed to disease or even suffocation from their work, but heroes are above such concerns, and might get a bonus to resisting poisons or diseases.

Bathhouse Management: Contrary to popular belief, bathing was a popular practice during much of the middle ages. In addition to private baths, most large cities sported public bathhouses, which were destinations in and of themselves. In England, such houses were called “stews” or “stewes” and were popular places to socialize, play games, and…do other things that one would imagine might be done in such places. Simultaneously places to get squeaky clean and to purchase some company (*cough*) these bathhouses were often owned by prominent clergy, which prevented their somewhat less-than-savory reputation from getting them closed. Additionally, they were also often professionally run by members of a guild every bit as educated and exacting as any other. Characters who run a bathhouse likely make a good living, but also have access to members of every strata of society, a great deal of privacy, and eyes everywhere. Yes, everywhere.

Vermin Hunter: Forget rats. Give me wild freaking pigs. In the 1300s, London had so many wild pigs hunting through the garbage in the streets that they had to appoint official swine killers, paid a bounty for each pig they brought in. In a city without any centralized method of waste management, fighting vermin isn’t so much a battle as a continuous, all-out, unwinnable war against nature. Vermin hunters in an RPG have a perfect excuse to be pretty much anywhere gross creatures can be found (basically everywhere) and to lay traps, carry weapons, and drag suspicious-looking bags leaking bodily fluids through the street without anyone giving them a second glance. Consider giving characters with a background in vermin hunting bonuses to tracking and fighting creatures that share habits or anatomy with the scavengers of the city.

Conclusion:

High-flying games full of nobility, honorable (or dishonorable) combat, and intrigue among the upper classes are a lot of fun. But in history, there was a whole world of stories going on beneath the noses, feet, and…other body parts…of the gilded elite. These stories can intersect with and inform kingdom- and continent-spanning adventures, or can provide fodder for games that never set foot outside their home city. Even if you don’t use these character occupations for your PCs or prominent NPCs, it’s worth thinking about how those with these jobs and hundreds more made their living when the circumstances of their birth didn’t guarantee them immortality in the history books.

So what are your favorite unusual occupations? Did I miss any that you don’t feel your game world is complete without?

Resources:

The Time Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England: a laser-focused guide to England in the 1300s, this incredibly detailed guide is a romp through the history, culture, and ideas of a very specific time and place. If you can make it through the first chapter, the rest of the book is truly gripping.

Everyday Life Through the Ages: What can I say about this book? No, really. I have no idea what to say about this book.

Making Good Scents: Fragrance in the Middle Ages and Renaissance: This article by Barbara D. Diggs is an excellent overview of the topic of perfumery during this time period. Take some time to look at some of her other excellent writing too, while you’re there.

Medieval Jobs: A straightforward list of medieval jobs that goes a little bit further than nobleman, innkeeper, merchant, criminal. Useful for fleshing out larger lists of NPCs.

  *Yes, I know that it’s a popular fantasy trope stretching back to the beginnings of the genre and that the biggest authors do it, but it loses its power when your ragtag adventuring party is basically a Dark Ages version of the UN in exile. If your group enjoys those characters, go you. But maybe consider branching out?

**If you find yourself digging through this article looking for any hint of historical inaccuracy, hooo boy are you in for a treat. I’m deliberately mashing together multiple areas and time-periods with game stuff in mind, so there’s going to be no shortage. You are very smart.

Another Day, Another Gold Piece: 9 Unusual Historical Occupations For Your Game published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames