#etc etc etc. still don't really have any of that figured out either!

[the-badger-mole]

is sokka viewing katara as a mother figure, or ‘replacement’ for kya, out of character? (replacement is a bad word but i can’t think of another word that would be appropriate)

Sokka contributing to Katara's parentification is not only in character, it's very true to life. The oldest daughter (or in this case only daughter) whether or not she's actually the oldest child, often has to stand in place of her mother, even if her mother isn't dead. It's really common in BIPOC families, but I think it's an almost universal experience at some level (the girl is always seen as so mature, and therefore has more responsibilities at an early age than her brother, cousins, etc.). It's such an insightful addition the story, in fact, I would bet my mortgage that Bryke did it accidentally. Katara's motherly nature was either played for laughs, or meant to show why Aang liked her, so obviously they didn't understand what it was they'd stumbled upon (and is also the reason why Kataang was an absolutely terrible ending for Katara).

Even the scene where Sokka is explaining to Zuko what happened to their mom, the tragedy of how much she had been forced to take on at such a young age, and what replacing Kya for Sokka meant for her wasn't really touched on. Yes, he acknowledges that their mother's death was more traumatic for Katara than him (completely understandable, btw. For a lot of reasons), but he never acknowledges how unfair it was for her- his LITTLE SISTER- to have to take on a motherly role for Sokka. Really think about what that entailed. It's not just that she did his laundry or cooked for him. For Katara to be who he pictures when he thinks of his mom, she had to take on not only her mother's share of the chores, she had to do so much emotional labor for her brother, starting at age 8, and maybe even sooner. It's entirely possible she had been being prepared for that role since before Kya's death.

Side note: This is also why I don't completely accept the headcanon that there was no sexism in the SWT. It wasn't as rigid as the NWT, sure, but it clearly still existed in some form. Had the SWT not been devastated and decimated by the Fire Nation, would Katara- would any woman, for that matter- have been allowed to learn combat waterbending? I have my doubts.

[exercise-of-trust]

🌌.

[musical-chick-13]

The thing is, like...yeah, a lot of times, the Social Exclusion I've experienced has been from people I probably wouldn't have wanted to be friends with anyway. At the very least, if someone is willing to do that, if someone is going to be that judgmental over things that don't actually matter, then any actual friendship with them probably wouldn't last very long.

But...it still hurts. Because regardless of how you actually feel about these people, it's still another instance of somebody telling you that you're too annoying or too much or too emotional or too whatever. It's still one more thing that people don't even give you the choice to have? And if you hear this over and over again, if it happens everywhere you go, then after a certain point it gets difficult to not internalize it at least a little bit.

It's been 30 years of this and it never gets any easier.

[lethesbeastie]

Hi, I saw your post about practicing drawing fat people and I was wondering if you could compile like a list of resources or references?

It can be difficult to find resources for drawing the wide variety of forms fat bodies can occupy, so I've done my best to bring together some resources I've been able to prove have some degree of diversity in the references they offer!

My primary resource recommendation for drawing fat people is Morpho Anatomy For Artists: Fat And Skin Folds! It does a wonderful job breaking down where fat accumulates on the body, how it interacts with the familiar landmarks of human anatomy, and what sort of shapes it tends to form under the influence of gravity. It's a phenomenal reference and my top recommendation for anyone seeking to improve at drawing fat people!

When it comes to finding decent photo references for fat people, the pickings are frustratingly slim. Most sites that specialize in pose references either don't have fat models or have all their images behind paywalls. Of the resources I looked through, the best sources for pose references were Adorkastock and Line of Action.

@adorkastock actively seeks to provide an incredible profile of pose references with diverse body types, and as an added bonus you can access a lot of their images for free on their site/Tumblr or join their patreon for early access to images! Line of action is a site aimed towards practicing figure drawing, providing images and a timed function to challenge artists to sketch within a set time limit. I took the time to go through roughly 300+ images and was pleased to find that during my session around two-to-three out of every ten photos were fat models. The only caveats to this was the fact that most of the images were of the same individual, limiting the applications for studying the variants of fat bodies. Still, it's an amazing tool that has a free mode and allows you to filter the types of references you want based on age and level of nudity.

Beyond sites that specialize in art reference photography, there's also the ever popular Pinterest, which is the site where I typically seek references for my personal studies. Due to the nature of Pinterest's extensive collection, there's a vast variety of references for different fat body types that includes a lot more "everyday" people. The primary issue with Pinterest however is the rampant reposting and lack of proper credits for images, which can make things dicey depending on how you wish to use the references you find. For personal studies this isn't really an issue, but for any sort of professional or paid work is something to be aware of just for the sake of accountability.

* For those who are 18+, porn photography of real people also offers an incredible wealth of visual resources for fat bodies and how they interact with gravity/movement/etc. The variety of positions and angles offer many opportunities to study human anatomy, and it's a pretty well-known fact that drawing NSFW art can be an important learning experience for those struggling with drawing anatomy. In the end, it depends on your personal level of comfort with viewing/drawing explicit images, but it's not something you should completely overlook.

Last but not least, look at the work of artists you admire who draw fat people! While I typically recommend sticking to photo references for learning anatomy, studying artist's portrayals of fat people is also incredibly helpful for learning different tactics for simplifying and/or stylizing fat bodies to better fit ones own style. There are also plenty of artists who've crafted tutorials detailing their approach to drawing fat folks, so I highly recommend you check them out as well! I hope the resources I've linked here can help you in your studies, and feel free to drop another ask if you have any more questions! I'm planning on posting a tutorial on how I do studies for fat people soon, so that will be an additional resource for you once I've got it posted!

[sunderwight]

SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a dragon.

It's not so bad, at first. He's an extremely magical sort of dragon so he can easily take on a humanoid shape, and he has dominion over an entire mountain, with a magical gate that leads to his palace. Said palace has a fully stocked treasury, a library, garden, etc, with the only real downsides being that the place is kind of huge and very difficult for a neet with limited housekeeping or landscaping skills to keep up with. The original dragon had enslaved a bunch of fairy spirits to do it for him, but since Shen Yuan has moral objections to that, he'd let them all go and they'd run off before he could even think to offer to hire any of them as paid employees instead. Not that he can blame them for being in a hurry to get gone.

He does his best, and generally enjoys being a dragon lazing on his mountain, or wandering the beauty of his palace and investigating the books and scrolls kept there. He doesn't actually seem to need to eat or drink, so that's not really an issue, and nobody looks keen to bother him. But after a few months the dust starts to really pile up, and trying to figure out how to do his own laundry without modern equipment leads to several disasters, and even though he doesn't need to eat he's starting to think it would be quite nice to have a fancy sit-down dinner and enjoy it for its own sake anyway. He has an enchanted larder but his food prep skills aren't up to much.

So, Shen Yuan ventures away from his mountain. He keeps to his human disguise when he's not traveling, and at first tries to hire on some help from a nearby city. But when he explains that he lives on the mountain, he realizes the difficulty, because everyone in the area knows that only the dragon lives there. So they all think he's either a liar or a fraud, or some servant of a nefarious supernatural creature angling to trick and possibly devour them.

Shen Yuan tries approaching another town in his dragon form, to see if anyone will actually deal with him if he's being upfront and honest about the situation, but the townspeople just panic. He returns to his mountain to rethink his strategies, and in the meanwhile the alarmed locals hire a swordsman to go after him. The guy gives him a few very painful cuts before Shen Yuan mostly-accidentally sends him careening into a boulder. One broken arm later the swordsman is gently persuaded that the pay he was offered isn't worth the effort on this job, and leaves.

Discouraged, Shen Yuan decides he's gonna give this one last try. He picks the second closest city, flies up, and is like yes hello, yes I am indeed a dragon, no I'm not trying to burn down your walls, yes it would be excellent if you stopped shooting arrows at me, look they don't even get past the scales? It's kind of silly? Okay, yes, thank you very much. Good. Now, the thing is, I'm looking for some people. I want to take them back to my mountain with me, to my incredibly nice palace, and -- what was that? A princess? No no I don't want a princess, what would I even do with one? If anything I'm looking for the complete opposite of a princess!

Anyway, the locals take this to mean that the dragon is demanding a sacrifice in the form of a pretty boy of no particular pedigree, and Shen Yuan takes this to mean that he's finally made his case clear and they're going to dig up someone who is willing to overlook his being a dragon in exchange for free room and board and fair wages out of his massive treasury.

SY's a bit disheartened when the entire city could only apparently turn up one such person -- an underfed teenage boy who looks at Shen Yuan like, despite the situation, he is still expecting to be eaten at any moment. Poor thing! But at least having one servant means he can potentially get more, especially if it all goes well. The lad can tell others that working for a dragon isn't so bad! Well, provided that he doesn't give up in alarm at the state of the mountain palace.

For his part, Luo Binghe at first thinks he's definitely going to get eaten, and then that this dragon is weirdly nice about planning to eat him, and then that maybe the dragon has other (even less savory!) plans for him, until finally he sees the state of the dragon's laundry and the foot-thick layer of dust in the corners, and gets completely distracted. Mortal terror forgotten, those floors should not be that filthy, Lord Dragon respectfully that isn't how anyone should prepare rice either, but oh Binghe has never seen a kitchen so nice before in his life...!

Anyway, needless to say, it works out just fine.

[luveline]

hi lovely jade!! I had an idea for a request: reader who’s pretty independent who hurt her back working out and now can’t walk/shower/etc on her own for a few days x any of the marauders (I really do love them all and especially the way you write them. you can also make this poly!marauders if you feel so inclined).

this is definitely self indulgent, so please feel free to ignore it if it doesn’t do the creative trick.

thank you for sharing your lovely writing with us and being lovely overall!

sending so many hugs to you!!

hi honey, thank u for requesting!! hope u get better soon <3

the boys take care of you when you hurt yourself. fem, 1.2k

You wake in Sirius’ bed with James curled over you protectively. This is not unusual. What is strange is that Sirius seems to have already gotten up for the day, his sleep shirt thrown in a crumpled mess at your feet and his phone off the charger. You scrub at your tired eyes and consider going to look for him, figuring he's probably in the den (or office, depending on which boy you ask), but your back gives a twinge, and then a throb, and you remember the night before. 

You rub James’ arm and push it off of your chest, preparing mentally for the pain. You've tweaked it a few times in the past, the next day always being worse than the actual time of injury, and yet the pain you're met with is instantaneously disarming. 

“Ow,” you can't help but whine, trying to bend forward away from the pain, and finding you can't manage that, either. You gasp as heat races up your spine and across your shoulders, everywhere and nowhere, like the press of a hot hand. 

James mumbles, “What's the matter?” with his head still buried in the pillows. 

“James, I think I've really hurt myself.” Tears squeeze so quickly out of the corners of your eyes that you don't have time to recognise the heat of them. Other sensations are more pressing. 

You don't know if he's looking at you, but you can feel his careful touch working its way up his arm, and hear the ruffle of the sheets as he gets up. “What?” he asks, his voice stretched with the early hour. 

“Last night, when we were lifting, I– I pulled my shoulder and I thought it would–” You make a strangled sound. “It's really bad, what do I do?” 

“Woah, woah, don't panic!” He leans in, your blurry view suddenly filled with his gentle face. 

James soothes it from there, so to speak. He shushes you softly when you start to sob and helps you lay back down, wiping your tears, not a lick of panic about him. “It's okay, it's okay,” he murmurs, “does that feel better?” 

It's better flat, but not gone. “I can't sit up.” 

“That's okay,” he says, bringing your hand to his lips, where he kisses your fingers. 

He waits for you to calm down before grabbing his phone from his room. It's much later in the day than you'd thought, and Sirius will be working his afternoon shift, while Remus could be anywhere. He likes to write in cafes or parks, somewhere away from the hubbub of the house, lest he be distracted, waylaid with kisses, or pestered into helping make dinner or do laundry or whatever needs doing that day. 

“Hey,” James says, hushed, “you okay? Mm… can you come home?” A startled question that betrays the first recipient, Remus’ rasp on the line. “Yeah, I'm fine, it's our little gym rat sweetheart, she's strained her back, she's a bit upset… No, not yet. You think she'll let me?” 

“I'm not going to the doctor’s,” you call to him. James smiles at you from the door. 

“We’ll see,” he shoots back. “Yep yep. Okay. Well, he's in work… Okay. Yeah, okay. Love you, see you in a bit.” 

“What can he do?” you ask. “You should've left him.” 

“Same thing as me.” He runs his hands through his hair. It's a little too long again, dark and thick, curled at the base of his neck with flicks behind his ears, though it's short compared to Sirius’ mess. When he drops his arms, the noon time sunshine kisses his brown skin with a gorgeous warmth, and emphasises the lines of veins where they run up his arms. “You look like you're in agony,” he says, covering his mouth with a hand. “Is it really that bad?” 

You nod miserably. 

He sits next to you carefully, but now you've awoken your pain it won't sleep, and each millilitre of the mattress's distension prompts a new layer of aching. “Sorry,” he says, sounding like he could cry for you, “why didn't you tell me last night?” 

James wraps his arms around you in a strange way, trying not to jostle you as he leans down to touch his nose to your forehead. 

“I didn't think it would be this bad.” 

He talks a little about the doctor's while you wait for Remus to come home. It isn't a waste of time, he insists, the GP is there for a reason. 

You're surprised when it's Sirius who shouts up the stairs. “You okay?” he calls. 

“Sirius?”

James shrugs. “Remus must've told him. We're fine!” 

A rush up the stairs. Sirius pauses by the door, frowning at you both in his bed. “What did you do?” 

“Well, I didn't mean to,” you say. 

“Not you, darling. James, I told you to look after her, all that equipment freaks me out, and Remus agrees.” 

James sighs. “He doesn't mean that.” 

Sirius goes to sit with you but stops upon noticing your wince, and instead flops down on the floor near the wardrobe with his phone to his ear. “I'll get an emergency appointment.” 

“This isn't an emergency,” you say. 

“It is for you. You'll need a sick note sorted anyways.” 

“But it's not that bad.” 

“Sweetheart,” Sirius says, smiling at you softly, an uncommon expression on him, though not unseen, “I know when you've had a big cry.” 

He gets put on hold, saving you the further ache of the line music while James strokes your temple. You attempt to hide how much your back hurts, but you're hurting bad and the knowledge that it's not about to go away soon is genuinely scary. 

Remus understands uncertain pain. He's last to come home but certainly not the least concerned, shoving his laptop case onto Sirius’ dresser, freeing his hands in favour of your face. “Is it bad?” he asks, looking between you and James for an answer. 

“Not really,” you say. James’ face must say differently. 

“What painkillers have you taken?” he asks quickly, “I have co-codamols, did you take paracetamol? You can't have them at the same time.” 

He frowns deeply at your daunted look. “You haven't taken them already, have you? They're very strong by themselves, with paracetamol as well, you'd–” 

“I haven't taken anything,” you admit. 

Sirius sighs and rubs his nose into his palm. “Jesus.” 

“Oh,” Remus says, hands especially tender, even as he laughs, “of course you haven't.” 

“I was a bit distracted.” 

He sobers, stroking the fat of your cheek and then leaning down for a careful kiss. “Of course. Haven't eaten anything either, I suppose?” 

“No, sorry.” 

He kisses you again and pulls away. “That's okay. What about you, Jamie, did you eat?” 

They take care of you in their different ways, in the same way they take care of one another. “No,” James says, “but I have it. Swap places with me, I'll make dinner while we wait for the GP to answer.” 

“You can make supper at the same time,” Sirius jokes.

You laugh and hurt your back. He is very, very sorry. 

[wabatle]

Blue Lock boys when you're on your period featuring: Reo, Rin, Bachira, Nagi can be read as either afab!reader or fem!reader warnings: everything that comes with having a period (obviously) like blood, pads/tampons, cramps, etc a/n: I'm on my period as I write this and it fucking sucks. lmk if you want a pt2 with more characters!

☆彡Reo Mikage

As soon as he figured out you got your period, he was all over you

Constantly asking if you were okay, if you needed anything, if you wanted to go home if you were out

Gets you the most high quality and expensive products 💀

Does so much research on what it is and how to take care of you

Genuinely will skip practice or important work (or other stuff he does) to stay with you

If you have bad cramps, he's insisting you stay home and in bed and he'll dedicate himself to taking care of you

Weirdly good at discrete spot checking. If you think you bled through your pants, he's got you.

He's especially careful to not hurt you because he knows you can get upset easily, and he might laugh a little bit if you're crying over something miniscule

You came out of the bathroom, a sickly expression on your face.

“Is it that time of the month?” Reo asked nervously.

“Yeah, that would explain why I felt so sick yesterday.” You mumbled.

“Here, come here,” he said, allowing you to crash into his arms, “I'll take care of you, baby.”

“Huuuh…” You mumbled into his shoulder.

“You okay, baby? Need any ibuprofen?”

“Yeah, probably…”

“Okay.” He kissed your head. “I'll go get some. I can also get your heating pad if you want it?”

“Yeah, thanks…”

“‘Course! I told you I would take care of you, babe. Now, go lay down. I'll be back in a sec.” He kissed your head.

☆彡Rin Itoshi

Also all over you, but in an indirect way

You're constantly on his mind, he's worried about you

As worried as he is about you, he would still choose to go to practice, but he'll stop somewhere on the way home to get you something, and he'll come home if you need him urgently

He buys you literally everything you need, pads, tampons, you name it, he'll go out and buy it

He doesn't change his behavior when you're on your period, but he does take notice to your intense reactions, like that time you starting sobbing hysterically after he told you practice was stressful and just wanted to go to bed (didn't have time for you)

He keeps a little “period emergency kit” with him at all times 🥺 he needs to make sure he can give you what you need just in case you're out in public and you need something

You and Rin were out to dinner and you had gotten your period the morning before.

“Ughh…” You mumbled, clutching your stomach.

“Cramps?” Rin asked quietly, as not to embarrass you.

“Yeah…”

“Here,” he said, pulling a heat pack out of the kit in his pocket, “go to the bathroom and put this on.”

“Rin…” You smiled, “Thanks, baby.” You took the pack and went to the bathroom.

When you got back, your food had already arrived.

“How is it? Do you feel better?” He asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“If you need anything else, let me know.” He added, leaning across the table to kiss your head.

☆彡Meguru Bachira

Another who's all over you… literally

He's really really worried when he sees you crying on the bed because of cramps, but he really doesn't know what a period is or what it does to you

Brings you tons and tons of snacks because he really doesn't know how to help you

If you don't stay over at his house, he's texting you all day. In the morning, before you go to bed, he's just making sure you're not dead!

Steals his mom's period supplies to give to you. It might not be the exact brands you like, but you appreciate the thought

Skips practice for you with the excuse that “it's that time of the month and you really need his help” but you're actually lying on the couch with a heating pad watching a movie

Bachira burst through the front door, carrying tons of snacks. “Hi baby!”

“Woah, you're home early. Welcome home!” You smiled from your spot on the couch.

“Thanks! I brought you tons of snacks!” He dropped the snacks on the table and plopped down on the couch, snuggling close to you. “I got out of practice thanks to your period!”

You giggled. “Don't thank it yet. I'll probably cry about it later.”

“Don't worry! I'll take care of you!” He said.

“Thank you, baby.” You kissed his cheek, making him giggle and kiss your lips back.

He got up and grabbed some snacks. “Let's watch a movie!”

“Ah, shouldn't we have dinner first?”

“Noo, you're on your period! I have to treat you well today!”

“And that means skipping dinner?”

“Do you want to skip dinner?”

“No, not really…”

“Then let's order takeout! What do you feel like having?”

☆彡Seishiro Nagi

Sooo tired, but he'll put up with you (he loves you so much)

He’ll hold you sooo tight while you're cuddling, and he'll keep playing his game

He tells you to relax in his arms and make sure you took your meds, and he'll want you to fall asleep while he plays his games

In his eyes, it just means he has to take care of you instead of the other way around, so he'll do the least he can do

Another one who would 100% use you as an excuse to get out of practice

Literally has a small bucket of pads, tampons, and other “period stuff” on a shelf so he can just grab it without getting up

If he notices you're more emotional as usual, he'll be like, “are you about to get your period?”

and then he'll mentally prepare himself for it

You had just dropped your water bottle, causing it to open and spill everywhere. You were crying.

“Don't worry about it, angel.” Nagi assured you, grabbing a paper towel to mop it up.

“I–I’m sorry… I–I didn't mean to…” You mustered through sniffles.

“Don't cry, baby.” He pulled you closer to him, resting your head on his chest. “I took care of it.”

You put your forehead on his chest, and he could feel your tears staining his shirt.

“Come on, angel. Let's go back to bed.”

“But it's 3:00 pm?”

“Doesn't matter. You need to take more meds anyway. It's been 6 hours.”

“Okay…”

He kissed your head. “Don't cry. It's a hassle.”

You playfully nudged him, already feeling better. “Well, you're my boyfriend, so you're obligated to take care of me.”

“Says who?” He asks, plopping down on the bed.

“Says me!” You giggled, plopping down next to him.”

He pulled you closer and pulled out his Switch.

[moonastro]

your fs's cute habits

pick a picture

left to right(top)-> 1,2,3

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑how to choose an image? take a deep breath, close your eyes, RELAX, and let your intuition do the rest.

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑remember, you can be drawn to more than one picture!!

°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes.

°Don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post (as i would entirely appreciate it).

° This is a GENERAL reading, take what resonates and leave and pass on what does not!

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

pile one

they might have a smirk to their smile, or have this instinctive smile that they do that is unique to them. i don't know, it feels very cute though. like i see them doing it whenever they get shy or get suddenly happy. Also, along with that will be their laugh. they may have a distinctive laugh that they do. they may hit (in a friendly way) when laughing or they may get weak and pretend fall, and so on. i do see them being dramatic with it though😅. your person may randomly say what's on their mind without any context. like it will become so normal to you guys that you will either go with it or just ignore it. by random i mean like continuing a conversation you guys had 30 minutes ago and they add to it, or they purely just bring up the time when they were a kid and such. in public, i feel like they will be quite shy, they may unintentionally hide behind you especially if you are talking with someone or walk slightly behind. they may be a slow walker too, its not because they are slow but they get distracted easily. by the nature, the birds, the cars, the buildings etc etc. very much new soul vibes, taking in everything around them. they can be a collector and have a collection of little figures and items. it is their possessions and they will protect their collection with all their heart and take time to correct their positions and such when accidently moved.

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pile two

awk, this is too cute, so your partner may blush quite often. it may be from embarrassment, anger, stress, or getting put in the spotlight. you may find it cute because it can make you love them even more and it may make you feel like they are like more genuine?? anyway, they may space out quite often, probably just blanking out and staring into abyss. this may be a habit and they may have a nickname given from spacing out so much 😅. like for example, you may ask them a question and they reply with mumbles and when you say 'did you even hear what i said' they come back and go 'huh' or 'no, sorry'. you may laugh at it because you find the way they look doing it cute. you may find it cute when they get mad. they may have a face that they do or do a gesture that you notice each time. its giving me every time when they're angry you cant take them seriously and then they get even more mad. the way they eat/chew may be significant, so they may pout/ make a cute face when eating.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

pile three

okay, so pile 3, your person is giving very much clueless energy. i feel like most of the time they may not know what you may be talking about but they still contribute to the conversation so you wont feel upset about it. but i feel like you will always ask them if they know what you mean and then they'll admit that they don't! but i do see you laughing it off and telling them that they can admit if they don't get it. oh, they are really into structure and have really organised drawers, closets, shoe racks and so forth. you may find it cute how they keep it VERY organised and are serious about it too. you may find their concentrated face cute lol. they do portray this youthful energy so they might express those characteristics through their actions. they definitely don't like to argue and will let you win every single time which may feel frustrating sometimes but they just avoid it at all cost and feel there is no need for it. it can make you feel guilty about it though and make you want to take care of them. at the end of they day you laugh it off and find it cute. they may have trouble with their vision and may squint a lot- you can tend to make fun of them cutely for it. like, every minute of they day you see they squinting at EVERYTHING and that can catch you off guard and make you laugh by their cuteness. this is a very fun/ laughter couple so there is a lot of laughing and giggling involved.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

thank you dear soul for reading this!! it is greatly appreciated, and i hope you all are doing well and enjoyed this post🤍.

[nkjemisin]

Hello NK Jemisin! I'm a huge fan of yours, and I wanted to thank you for writing all of the books you've written, and doing all that you do. You're really awesome and you are doing important work! :) I had a long question, if you have time to answer! What's your commentary on creating fantasy cultures, using real ones as inspiration? You've done this before in your stories, and I wanted to know if you had any guidance on doing it well. I'm writing my first novel right now (fantasy!) and am dealing with a surprising amount of guilt regarding using real cultures as a basis for my fake ones. On one hand, I want to create a really unique fantasy world, not the bog-standard European stuff. It's not only more interesting to me, but I also admittedly want to use my story to help introduce people to concepts that might be helpful in the real world, help readers understand what these real people go through and perhaps inspire change. On the OTHER hand, I don't know if it's 'my place' to do so (I'm Black btw, but I'm not just writing about Black-coded fantasy characters). And I'm worried about representing people in a harmful way, even if it's by accident. I'm even hung up about names! Should I use names from real languages related to the cultures I'm inspired by, or should I just make them up to emphasize that, while yes these people are clearly inspired by real cultures, they are ultimately *their own* thing. I'm really conflicted on this and am hoping you can offer some feedback and/or commentary. Sorry for the long ask. Either way, have a great day and I look forward to whatever work you do next!

If I can rephrase what you're saying here, it sounds like you're concerned about cultural appropriation -- specifically, which cultures you get to "borrow from" and "remix," how much remixing you can do before you've done damage, how to depict people from cultural backgrounds other than your own, etc.

If that's what you're asking, then there are whole schools of thought on how to "appropriate appropriately." A lot of thinking on this has evolved in the past few years, for good and for ill; Own Voices, for example. (The short version: the Own Voices hashtag movement started as a grassroots attempt to get marginalized voices telling the stories of their own cultures, because there's been a nasty trend of only white/Western/Anglophone/etc. authors publishing books about those cultures. The problem? Some publishers and readers started acting as if marginalized writers weren't allowed to do anything but stories in their own cultures -- a restriction, instead of an inclusion/correction. Worse, publishers, etc started using it as a marketing shorthand, in ways that were just... not good. They made it weird, basically.) But I'm still fond of the approach that's in Writing the Other, by Nisi Shawl and Cynthia Ward. It's centered on ethnicity/race, but a lot of its approach can be extrapolated to culture. There's too much good stuff in this book to summarize it easily, but you should read it instead of a summary anyway -- it's short.

I don't see the point of guilt, when it comes to something like this. Guilt is what you feel when you've done something wrong, and admiring another culture enough to want to tell a story featuring it isn't wrong. However, there are things you need to do -- research, conversations, considerations of power dynamics -- to reduce the harm you might end up doing by telling that story as an outsider. And note that no matter what you do, though, you might still end up doing harm. (Even people writing about their own culture can end up doing that.) If you fuck up, apologize, figure out what went wrong, and try to do better next time. That's really all you can do.

And then write whatever the hell you want. There's a persistent pressure on Black writers to only cover certain subjects, certain settings; nah. We get to have range, too. You've just got to put in the work to do it well.

Good luck.

[starry-bi-sky]

Who is the more well-adjusted twin; Damian, or Danyal? Why, it's Damian, of course!

And I have an explanation for this! But first I wanna preface this that this is just me like, rambling about this thought I have and it's not an attack on the trope as a whole. I love the Danyal Al Ghul au which is why i'm so deeply passionate about it, because I think it has a lot of potential to be explored. It's no secret that I've mentioned before that I think Danny's psychological development tends to get overlooked and underutilized in DAG aus, and the impact that growing up in an assassin league often goes ignored. This is just me further expanding on that.

Now lets set the stage! This is specifically for Danny who is adopted by the Fentons later down in life. Lets go twin au. At 10 years old, Damian goes to the Wayne Family, Danny is adopted by the Fentons (regardless of their affiliation with the League). By 14 years old, who ends up the better adjusted, more socially aware, spiritually in-tune with themselves, sibling? Why, Damian is! Why is that?

Because he has the actual support he needs compared to Danny. And I'm not talking about good or bad parents Fentons, because either way my opinion doesn't change. Damian would end up the better off twin, because, frankly, his family knows his background. They know he grew up in the League, they know what the League's teachings are, and they know he's a born and raised assassin. Knowing this, they can then help tackle and dismantle the teachings and lessons he has been given and ingrained into by the League. They may be a dysfunctional family, but they're functional enough to at least actively help deprogram all of the League's teachings that have been ingrained in Damian throughout his childhood.

Can't say the same for Danny.

Lets say Fentons here don't know his background -- and even if they do, the results may just stay the same if they play their cards wrong, -- Danny's now just been thrown into the deep end of a pool and is essentially being told sink or swim. Regardless of how he got there -- undercover, faked death, etc -- he has no proper support. He knows the League is meant to be secret, he's not gonna speak on it for various reasons. Whether it be some still lingering loyalty, fear of harm, or whatever. Whatever the reason is, he does not have a proper support system in the Fentons, no matter how nice they are. They can only tackle the surface level stuff and whatever Danny allows them to see -- if Danny ever lets them see it at all. For what do assassins do when they don't want to be caught? They hide. Sometimes in plain sight.

"But Jazz--" Jazz is a child. She is 2 years older than Danyal and no better at giving him a proper support system than the two adult Fenton parents, even with parentification. We don't know when she got into psychology or how long she'd been studying it by the time Danny's 14. We just know she's really into it. Even then, Jazz is not a licensed or reliable therapist, or even an experienced or implied good therapist, and should not be used as one either. It's a disservice to her character to reduce her down to 'supporting female emotional crutch'. Besides, therapy only works on people who want to get better. Danny, who'd be hiding who he really is, has very little incentive to want to, or to even think something is wrong with his way of thinking, even with exposure to the outside world.

When people's beliefs are outright challenged, they tend to double down on them, and Jazz canonically has a habit of psychoanalyzing her family and declaring what she thinks is the problem -- regardless of whether or not she's right about it. Jazz would get into psychology, try and psychoanalyze Danny, and all it would do is cause him to clam up, shut into himself further, and throw up even more walls so that she can't figure out that he has been lying this whole time. It would do more harm than good, and would actively hinder any progress he'd make in trying to open up to them. Roads and good intentions and all that.

That being said, I think Danny's development and dismantling of the League's teachings would be slower than Damian's. Much slower. Because he would be the one having to pick apart everything and figure out what is right, what is wrong, what he wants to keep, and what he wants to toss. Everything he unlearns would be stuff he has to unlearn himself. If he even gets to that point at all -- depending on his experiences, he very well could not change at all, or change very little. The League acts as a purge for humanity, meant to reign in their hubris and retain balance, they just also happen to be assassins for hire. Danny's time spent in Amity Park could as well strengthen his belief in their teachings just as much as it could weaken it, especially if it goes as canon and he gets bullied.

Regardless, being tossed to a civilian family as someone who is very much not a civilian, without any support, would be actively detrimental to Danny's overall mental health and development. Especially to strangers like the Fentons. Damian was closed off and standoffish even with blood family, and it took him time to open up to them -- Danny, with the Fentons, would be even more so. He doesn't know them, he doesn't trust them, he has no rhyme or reason to open up to them, and since the Fentons don't actually know him, they can't help him the way he needs. Once "Danny Fenton" is made, he has even less reason to open up. So long as Danyal allows it, they will only ever know Danny, and they'll never know Danyal.

TL:DR the Fentons aren't the better family option just because they're civilians, and actually that makes them the worser option between the two because they can't give Danny the proper support he needs. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

[funnycreatortimetravel]

Whenever I rewatch the Madoka Magica episodes + the two recap movies, I always feel that the sentiment "Homura did nothing wrong," shines through the most here and less so Rebellion (I'll get into this later) even though ironically, the Rebellion movie is where that infamous saying was coined.

-Homura cannot DO any wrong when everything sort of already goes wrong no matter if she intervenes or not. Mami dies whether or not Homura intervenes (she goes crazy when she finds out that magical girls are all destined to turn into witches and then goes on a murder-suicide rampage, she's killed by Walpurgis, she gets caught off guard, etc.) All of these deaths happened on Mami's accord and not Homura's, so of course there's no wrongdoing to be had.

-Even if you argue that Homura could've been nicer to her, Mami automatically assumed that Homura had the worst intentions for Madoka and the others, so she never really gave her a chance even WHEN Homura went through the effort of finding a grief seed solely to befriend Mami (which Homura does in most timelines FYI.) The moment Homura isn't Mami's sweet little junior student anymore, Mami is automatically on defense and even calls her a loser just because she doesn't want Madoka to make a contract, and Mami just assumes that it's because Homura doesn't want competition (which makes no sense because Homura offered her a grief seed.)

-Mami does the same thing to Kyoko in the Different Story Manga; Once Kyoko's parents died and she became distraught, she didn't want to follow Mami's ideals anymore and this leads them into getting into a physical altercation (sound familiar?)

-Mami has never been a person you can just causally talk things through to. If she believes you don't share the same ideals on things, she can and will fight you. She doesn't fight Sayaka or Madoka because those two largely agree with her on everything, but Kyoko and Homura? They're free game if they so much as look at her sideways.

-Mami also says that making a wish should be something you seriously think about and not just dive in willy nilly, but then turns around and tells Madoka that she should wish for a cake if she still hasn't figured it out all because Mami doesn't want to be alone.

-I'm going to give Mami the benefit of the doubt and assume she wasn't being serious, but she knows how impressionable Madoka is and regardless of how serious or not she is, she's still fine with Madoka making a wish and becoming a magical girl just so she won't be lonely anymore.

-Homura tries her damn hardest to befriend Mami (she offers her a grief seed as I mentioned earlier, she listens when Mami tells her to go away without a fuss, and she warns Mami of the witch Charlotte only to be ignored and tied up) and the only thing she gets in return is Mami's unwarranted hostility. And once Homura is proven right and Mami is beheaded in front of Madoka and Sayaka, causing an insurmountable amount of trauma to them, she still quietly grieves for her even when all Mami did was assume the worst with no evidence.

-I don't necessarily blame Mami for assuming that Homura didn't have the best intentions since she's a veteran and I'm certain has had other negative run-ins with magical girls, but it's not like Homura even provided enough evidence that she would be like them. Mami was just being territorial due to force of habit (she's fine with other magical girls so long as they stay her juniors as evident in Rebellion when the moment Homura "turns different," she's highly suspicious and is ready to go guns blazing.) She doesn't even give Homura a chance to explain herself in either the show or the movie and that's one of her biggest flaws; she's so perfectionist that she can't even see what's in front of her sometimes.

-Despite this, Homura still values her as her old mentor and is hurt when the person who saved her all those timelines ago calls her a loser to her face. She even says that Mami has the softest heart of all and wishes she could forget how she trampled over her and other's feelings, (even though when you look back, Mami was the one who hurt her feelings rather than the other way around.)

And yet she still says this...

-"And it hurt me..." Homura admitting that shows just how much she cares. The fact that she's able to admit that it wasn't what Mami said that hurt her, but the fact that shattering Mami's optimistic viewpoint with the reality of the magical girl system was what hurt.

-Homura knows about Mami's tragic backstory with her parents and also knows that Mami, "doesn't have any other family to speak of," which shows she's been very close to Mami at one point, even seeing her vulnerable side just like Madoka did when Mami had that breakdown shortly before she died to Charlotte.

-She also "envies Mami" because Madoka states that she'll remember her even after she dies. Homura is obviously envying Mami because Madoka will forever see Mami in a good light in death while Madoka is afraid of her, but she could also just be envying Mami because, well, Mami died and left Madoka feeling attached to her while Homura thought she was going to die without ever being able to be close to Madoka as she once was. Context clues people, context clues.

-If you look at the different story manga, which I and many others consider canon, Homura clearly still has PTSD from Mami's murder-suicide attempt, which is the main reason why she tries to be gentle with her and listen to her when she's ordering Homura around.

-And she also notes that Mami never "held her hand," like that. Regardless of what Homura thinks, she clearly still wants or wanted that intimacy with Mami. She still saw her as an older sister figure and I know it crushed her heart when Mami said something so cruel to her.

-She also declines when Mami believes that Homura is going to kill her, even though her soul gem is stained and she technically is on her way to becoming a witch. Instead, Homura imparts some words to her.

-In the case of Sayaka...Whooo boy, it's like ten times worse than Mami. Sayaka is so caught up in her ideals that she hates anything too wild and selfish, but also weak and passive. She craps on Kyoko for being immoral and then also craps on Madoka AND Homura for not doing enough (she says that Madoka has a lot of potential but doesn't do anything with it and says Homura is too unskilled to fight effectively.) She views herself, or at least tries to, as the ultimate magical girl of justice who's moral, selfless, and most of all, strong. She doesn't view Homura, at least the one in the past timelines, as someone strong enough to be a proper magical girl.

-Sayaka holds everyone to the standard of Mami Tomoe, someone who's graceful, strong, and selfless, but she never gets the chance to realize that that version of Mami Tomoe isn't the real one and the standard she holds herself and others don't exist, which is why in every single timeline, she ALWAYS ends up witching out. It's also why in every timeline, she's antagonistic to Homura no matter if it was her timid self or the one hardened by trauma.

-She blames Homura in one timeline for attempting to warn them about Kyubey, accusing her of trying to split the group up, but then in Magia Record, when Homura DOESN'T tell them about Kyubey because she's seen how pointless it is, Sayaka gets on her case for not telling them sooner and accuses her of not telling because Homura "finds it funny." She literally can't win, no matter how quiet and out of the way she is.

-And it doesn't get better once Homura becomes "stronger" (or at the least the facade of becoming it) Sayaka just thinks that she's one of those magical girls who kills only for herself (and while Sayaka's not ALL the way wrong as she will kill solely for Madoka, she also doesn't understand that the system is designed to be like that and that's the fault of Kyubey and not Homura.)

-We're never actually shown Homura saving civilians, but we also don't see her sit idly by and let them get hurt either. Homura's viewpoint is that magical girls aren't morally obligated to be heroes and she's right; magical girls are cattle being harvested and the "good" they do is only delaying the inevitable once they witch out. No matter how noble and pure Sayaka was or wanted to be, she was eventually going to witch out and harm others, even if she wanted to save people.

-The nature of magical girls is equivalent exchange; whatever "good" is done, an equal amount of or even more bad is sure to come of it. Sayaka was going to keep killing innocent civilians as a witch until someone put her out of her misery, and that was what Homura was going to do. Sayaka doomed herself the moment she made a contract with Kyubey, and more importantly, she doomed innocent civilians, and she doomed her friends.

-Sayaka's witching out leads Mami to go crazy and attempt to kill everyone, Madoka making a contract in several timelines to save Sayaka from witching out (she does so in the Different Story Manga and Sayaka still ends up hurt) and Kyoko dying either from suicide during her confrontation with Octavia or dying from the wounds she sustains from the battle. Not to mention Sayaka witching out breaks Madoka's psyche, which is what Homura is trying to avoid.

-It would be one thing if Sayaka just died on her own accord, but she always brings others with her down her descent into despair, whether it's by killing civilians as a witch or being mean to Madoka and making her feel as though Sayaka's witching out was partly her fault.

-That's why Homura was in the right to "put her down" essentially, and even though she said she would, she couldn't bring herself to because somewhere deep down, she still cared for Sayaka. She apologizes for blowing up Sayaka in one of the first few timelines when she witches out and she blames herself for Sayaka making a contract in the TV series timeline, even saying that she should've protected Sayaka as much as Madoka even though Sayaka has never been anything BUT mean to her in the beginning. She takes responsibility for the girls' downfall even though it was inevitable.

-Another thing is her kinship with Kyoko. Because Kyoko and Homura both grew up in religious homes (Homura with catholic school and obliviously Kyoko's father being a preacher) they have the closest views on what it means to be magical girls. Note how I didn't say similar, but closest. Homura and Kyoko's wishes were for someone else, and as a result, they firmly believe that their wishes are for the sake of those people and won't pretend to be heroes or the like. The only difference is that Kyoko is much wilder and rougher because her wish directly led to the murder-suicide of her family (cough cough, like a big sister figure that killed her OTHER found family.)

-It's also the reason why Homura and Kyoko became so close in Rebellion. Kyoko was the only magical girl, apart from Madoka and even SHE sometimes didn't trust Homura, to kill Walpurgis. Kyoko agrees to fight with Homura and even though she is purely doing this for her benefit, she at least gives Homura a CHANCE and hears her out, even offering her a pocky stick. She was willing to team up with her and was also the first person that Homura felt comfortable talking to in Rebellion when she felt that something was up.

(I'll go into further specifics in another post since I ran out of image/video usage. Damn this app 😭.)

[gay-impressionist]

Hi! I’m starting to learn French and one thing that’s both cool and weird to me is how everything is gendered in a way (referring to someone/whose saying the statement/etc.) and I was wondering how that relates to people who identity as non-binary or gender fluid in France? Are there equivalents to they/them pronouns or neo pronouns in French?

I do plan on doing my own research about this but I figured since I love your blog and you’re really open about different cultural lgbtq+ communities I’d try here first!

That's an awesome question... with a complicated answer lmao. So buckle up and bear with me !

Basically, you can't be non-binary in French. The community found ways to do it but it's not mainstream. Most of the time, they're going to get misgendered or will have to misgender themselves to get understood.

Some things I'm going to list here are not proper French. Actually, they can even be forbidden in some circumstances, according to the law (the use of inclusive language, and more specifically le point médian, was made illegal in schools in 2021 for ex) or simply because your company etc forbids it. So use this wisely, there is a time and place for inclusive language in France.

That said, things have greatly developed over the last two decades. Which was partly because of the queer community and mainly because of feminists, who are tired of the way French erases women. More and more people are using inclusive language, at least in some circumstances and circles (for ex, i wrote my master's thesis in inclusive language and it was accepted bc i was in a leftist faculty). And inclusive language is debated as a serious issue now, which is saying something.

So, how do you use inclusive language in practice?

There are different ways, as it's informal and mostly new. People are still testing new things and trying out various methods. You can stick to one or alternate or mix them up.

Pronouns

Officially, there isn't a gender neutral pronoun. We don't have an equivalent to they. You're either talking about a man or a woman. If it's both, you use masculine pronouns ("masculine trumps feminine" rule). Same thing if you don't know the gender of the person ("masculin générique").

The most common neopronoun is "iel" (plural : iels), which is obviously a contraction of the masculine pronoun "il" and its feminine equivalent "elle". It works for nb folks or to avoid talking about someone's gender or to refer to a group of men and women. So it's equally used by the queer community and feminists.

I'm pretty sure other neopronouns exist but I can't think of any at the top of my head.

Choosing the right words

Sometimes, inclusive language is just about learning to use alternatives.

Instead of using gendered words, you can choose to use gender-neutral words or words "épicènes", aka words which are identical in their feminine and masculine form. For ex, instead of "homme politique" or "femme politique", you can use "personnalité politique". Personnalité is a feminine word but it's actually gender-neutral as you can use it for women and men alike. "Élève" (student) is épicène, as a female student and a male student are both referred to as "élève". Although épicène words as a gender-neutral option only work in their plural form, as you have to choose either a feminine or masculine article for the singular ("les élèves" is inclusive but it can only be "un" or "une" élève).

As good as this method is, it can be quite limitating. Your vocabulary will be drastically reduced and it can be quite hard to master that kind of speech so you can reach the point where you don't have to think everything over for ages before you open your mouth.

With oral French, you can take it a step further by choosing words that sound the same even if they have a different spelling. Ex, friend is "ami" or "amie" but it's pronounced the same way so if you say it out loud, people can't know how you're gendering it (as long as there isn't a gendered article/word with it ofc).

It avoids misgendering people but the downside is that, as masculine is considered neutral in French, people will often think : no gender specified = masculine. Not even because they're sexist or whatever, it's just so ingrained in our brains that it's a knee-jerk reaction.

That's also why most feminists often prefer to use explicitly feminine words when talking about women. For ex, they prefer the word "autrice" to "auteure" (female writer) because the second one sounds the same as its masculine version "auteur". And as previously mentionned, out loud, people will assume by default you're talking about a man. It's a big debate though, lots of women prefer words that sound masculine - going as far as refusing to use feminine words at all! Which sounds cool and gender-bending as fuck but in reality comes from feminine words traditionally seen as less legitimate and serious. Even today, if you look up the word empress "impératrice" in a French dictionary, the first definition that comes up is "wife of an emperor". "Woman ruling a country" comes second. Using a masculine title to refer to women can also be a way to mock them and show they're not welcome (a french deputy got fined in 2014 because he called the female president of the national assembly "Madame le président" and refused to use the feminine title "Madame la présidente").

Recently the tendency and official guidelines have been to feminize words, so I'd say go with that by default, but respect other people's choice if they specify how they want to be called.

Anyway I'm getting off-track but what I meant was that in French, if you avoid talking about gender, you're automatically erasing women (and nb people). So if you want to include everyone, you need to make it obvious.

Inclusivity as a statement

The most common way to make women and men equally visible is the "point médian" rule, which you can also use to refer to non-binary people as it avoids picking a specific gender.

Basically, it means pasting together the masculine and feminine forms of a word and using dots/middle dots/hyphens/parentheses/capital letters to create an inclusive word. For ex, instead of saying acteur (♂️) or actrice (♀️) for actor, you'll write "acteur.ice". For the plural form, there are two schools of thought : either you separate the feminine and masculine form AND the suffix used to signify the plural, or you don't. Aka, "acteur.ice.s" or "acteur.ices". Personally I prefer the second option because less dots makes it easier to read and faster to write, but it's an individual choice, both work.

There are two major downsides to this method : it only works in writing + it isn't doable for every word, as feminine and masculine words can be quite different and pasting them together that way would be unintelligible. Ex, "copain" and "copine" (friend or boyfriend/girlfriend depending on the context) would give something like "cop.ain.ine"...

You can work around that by choosing alternative words (as previously stated!). And it's still a pretty good method, especially as it works for any type of word (adjectives etc). Some people argue that it's hard to read and ugly but personally I think it's just a matter of habit (although it does pose a problem for people using screen readers). Be aware that it is the most controversial version of inclusive writing, as it's the furthest structure from how languages typically work.

If you don't like dots or want an alternative for oral speech, you can also straight up create new words that sound both feminine and masculine, making them gender-neutral. To use the previous example, "copain" and "copine" become "copaine".

Obviously, this only works if it's obvious which words they're based on. I think it's a great way to make French more inclusive but I'd advise against using it with uninitiated people as it would probably confuse them more than anything. This method is still quite niche.

An inclusive, yet binary language

As you've probably figured out, inclusive language remains quite binary in the way we approach it. It's more about making things both masculine and feminine than transcending gender and creating gender-neutral alternatives. Probably because inclusive language was more often a will to stop women from being erased rather than a non-binary friendly gesture.

Which means, there are also some rules that were created to avoid the "masculine trumps feminine rule" but don't allow room for non-binarity at all. I'll still explain them because they're interesting and you might encounter them at some point.

The proximity rule ("règle de proximité") is one of these. It existed in Ancient Greek and Latin but was dropped in Modern French in favor of the masculine trumps feminine rule. Basically, you gender things according to what's closest in the sentence instead of systematically using masculine words to gender a mixed group. For ex, instead of saying "Les hommes et les femmes sont beaux" you say "Les hommes et les femmes sont belles", as the subject "femmes" is closer to the adjective "beau/belle" than "hommes".

Another method is to systematically use both masculine and feminine words (which I personally find excruciating to write and read). Meaning, instead of writing "Les étudiants mangent à la cantine" (students eat at the cafeteria), you'll write "Les étudiantes et les étudiants mangent à la cantine".

This is mainly for the subject of the sentence : adjectives and such are gendered according to the masculine trumps feminine rule. The point is to explicitly include women, not to make the sentence unintelligible or gender-neutral.

When following this method, you also have to pay attention to whether you put the feminine subject first or the masculine. The rule is to follow alphabetical order. For ex, in "l'égalité entre les femmes et les hommes", "femmes" comes first because F comes before H. But in "Les auteurs et les autrices de roman", "auteurs" comes first because E comes before R. Etc.

This method is common as it's the only inclusive language you can get away with, given that it's a valid way of speaking French. It's even mandatory in some situations now, like in job descriptions for the french administration, in the spirit of gender equality.

So, how do I gender a non-binary person?

In short, you can use the pronoun iel + avoid gendered words and/or use the point médian and/or make up new words.

But keep in mind that if you're not talking to someone familiar with these rules, you'll have some explaining to do. And looots of people are still very anti inclusive language, because they're sexist and/or transphobic, ignorant, language purists, etc. A few years ago it was the thing to be angry about for conservatives and anti-feminists so it's still very controversial. But if you're in a trans inclusive queer space or talking with intersectionnal leftists, go for it !

I hope I covered everything (fellow french, don't hesitate to comment!) and didn't put you to sleep lmao. If you want to see some examples, you can look it up on Wikipedia or check #bagaitte on tumblr (it's the french queer tag) 😉

[hellenhighwater]

Your kitten foster room looks amazing! Do you have a way to stop them getting into/climbing/chewing/etc everything? You're inspiring me to look at fostering but I thought I would have to have a basically bare room to keep it clean/safe for any fosters?

I do take out a fair amount of stuff for the summer months, which is when I have fosters, but most of the furniture in there is stuff I got with full intent that it either be kittenproof or kitten sacrifices. Kittenproof: metal and glass coffee table, woodstove, firewood rack, brass barstools, map cabinet, etc. Kitten sacrifice: the sofa, which was cheap and will be replaced when the kittens eventually destroy it.

The wood-look tile is easy to clean and super durable, which is why I installed it there. The room doesn't have to be bare but the less it has in it the less potential problems there are. I do keep electronics as out of reach as possible, and when the kittens are really little they're kept in a jumbo dog kennel if I'm not directly supervising them. Which is fine because they're still figuring out basic locomotion at that age, they don't need a huge space.

[jasperxkuromi]

Regressors that are (bodily) older, please interact!

Later 20s, 30s, maybe even older? I would love to hear from you and maybe even your stories if you don't mind sharing!

I want to meet more people like me and also show others that age regression doesn't just suddenly "stop" at a certain age

Some of us:

Didn't discover regressing/didn't understand their involuntary regression until they were older

Wasn't in a safe space mentally and/or physically to be able to regress the way we want to

Didnt "grow out" of regressing. I think a lot of people outside the community assume we will all grow out of wanting to regress at some point. Maybe some of us will, but some of us won't. Regressing can be a safe and healthy coping mechanism, no matter your bodily age!

And probably many other reasons I can't think of at the moment lol

I would love to get to talk to older regressors, or if there are any groups/discords, I would like to know those too :3

I'm gonna talk about my story a little under the cut, but I don't exactly recommend reading it if you are little right now! I am going to be talking about s3xualization of agere and children's media unfortunately.

I started age dreamer/involuntarily regressing when I was in high school without really knowing what it was. I was really into MLP FiM during its height popularity. I watched the show, collected and played with the toys, did coloring books, took my MLP blanket to school ever day. You get the idea.

I discovered regression here in Tumblr, but this was yeeeeaaars ago, like back when nsfw was still allowed. The line between ddlg and agere wasn't as solid as it is now. Or maybe it was just because I was a kid and couldn't understand better? Either way ... i ended up getting wrong ideas of what agere had to be and ended up scaring myself off. I also had adult roleplayers leaving really inappropriate comments on my posts that made me feel icky. I thought agere had to be s3xual and scared myself off.

We also unfortunately probably know the uhhh .. types of fan art that was popular of MLP. And it just ended up making me lose interest in the series. The stuff was everywhere and it was hard to avoid even if you were vigilant.

I never got a real chance to understand what healthy, voluntary regression was. I still was an age dreamer, but most times when I involuntarily regress it is out of extreme stress and it isn't fun or pretty.

I had a lot of bad things that happened to me last year and in turn I am having more health issues. Chronic conditions I already had getting worse, and new ones popping up. My mom (the one who birthed me) has been helping me a bit, but it has still been a lot of playing adult. Making phone calls back and forth, filling out paperwork, figuring out disability leave, paying bills, etc etc. I started age dreaming more and more often to cope with the stress. Like I randomly one day bought a DVD player and sets of Winnie the Pooh and Scooby Doo DVDs lmfao.

I also never stopped collecting stuffed animals and came back to collecting dolls again last year. It helps that I have friends IRL who I don't think are regressors, but still enjoy collecting with me. (my friends don't know yet, but I think they would be accepting if I told them, or they might already assume I regress tbh)

I have kinda had age regression on the back of my mind for several months, but was scared to look back into it. I was scared of going through the same thing I did back in high school. But also denying I am a regressor and that I still need to heal my childhood wounds was getting heavier and heavier on me. I am sooooo thankful I finally felt safe to begin exploring regression again ♥️😁

Side note: while I absolutely don't care if people do ddlg and similar stuff as a kink/fetish, I am thankful that the distinction between that and agere is more distinct now. It is important we protect minors and other vulnerable people from having the same sorts of things that happened to me (or worse) from happening to them.

[strawberryblue-blog]

Guilty as Sin? —Pablo Gavi.

summary: Your relationship with Gavi as friends with benefits is no longer the same and you have to do something even if it means breaking up with him.

warnings: none. friends with benefits, sad, angst, break up, discomfort, curses, etc.

words count: +2.3k

#SEXYNOTE: As promised, here I leave you this story. I apologize for any errors or spelling mistakes, English is not my first language. Thanks for everything. Pedri imagine 🔜

It was late Friday night when you were still reading your notes and taking notes while the video played on your computer. You were supposed to turn in a paper tomorrow and you had fallen a little behind after so many assignments.

Maybe it was because your head had been a mess the last few days but you tried to ignore it and move on. If you kept putting ideas into your head, you wouldn't end up well and you had suffered enough to go back to square one.

It was probably late and you needed a break but you couldn't afford a nap right now. Your eyes were focused on the video when your phone vibrated in the distance. You ignored it.

But it vibrated again.

You stretched out your hand without waiting for the screen view as you unlock your phone. The notification makes you sigh and you open it wearily. You had at least seven messages from Pablo, asking where you were, what you're doing, who you were with. You rolled your eyes wondering whether to respond but after a few moments you locked your phone again.

As you refocused your head back on your stuff, your doorbell rang, making you jump with fright. Damn. The pounding on your door grew louder as the doorbell continued to ring making you despair. You got up from your chair quickly in a fury, walking to your front door and sighing. You open the door quickly and your eyes take in his figure, you are infuriated and you will let him know it.

"What the fuck, Pablo?" you squeal tiredly.

First your phone, now your doorbell. If you didn't answer it was clearly for a reason, why had he come?

"What are you doing here?" you asked again at his silence. His gaze was somewhat lost.

"I wanted to see you" he says taking a step forward. But you stop him. You don't want him to pass.

"Well you saw me, go away" you mutter angrily.

What did he want anyway? He had ignored you for days, now he appreciates out of nowhere and that made you desperate. Lately he did that with you. Ignoring you and showing up only when he wanted to and not when you needed him.

You used to be closer but these last months Pablo had been quite distant and disinterested on his part. And although you tried to find out what had changed in him or why he was treating you this way, he didn't seem to care at all, so you didn't care either.

"Y/n..." he mumbles, grimacing.

Now you are inside your house and you really fear for your integrity knowing that he already has power over you. Especially with that puppy dog look. His hands wrap around your waist pulling you closer and you whimper.

Great. The only thing missing, him showing up at your house when you're vulnerable. He knew you weren't going to throw him out or anything, he had that effect on you. Couldn't he tell things between you weren't right?

"Pablo, stop" you ask as his face sinks into your neck. Your skin bristles and even though you don't want to push him away, you have to stop him.

"I missed you, baby" he whispers and his lips search for you but your hands are quicker and they rest on his chest pressing against it.

However, he is more agile than you and quickly kisses you. His lips wrap around yours and you sigh loss as you kiss him back. You had missed him too, even more when he had been away these days. His tongue takes place in your mouth and tastes you, Gavi smiles a little as he feels you gasp when his hands go to your waist.

It was clear he had other intentions in coming here but you weren't going to fall for his webs again. Not if you didn't want to leave with a broken heart. You had suffered from his distance these past few months and could barely recover when he came back to you.

Your relationship with Pablo had changed over time, you first started out as friends, you got along well and had fun together like typical friends. You used to just hang out, write to each other, visit each other, do typical things that friends do until one night you slept together and everything changed.

You thought it had been a mistake and that it would never happen again, until you did it again. Again and again when you needed each other.

You started to see each other secretly from your friends, he would come to your house or you would go to his, in secret, no one even imagined it. You saw each other when you felt lonely or bored, sometimes to keep each other company but mostly to fuck and then you pretended to be friends as if nothing had happened between you.

These last weeks you had tried to meet him, you tried to call him and send him messages but he completely ignored you. But sometimes he would show up at your apartment when he wanted to fuck, you would do it and then he would run away from you when you wanted to know about him.

Yet he kept coming back to you again and again.

Just like now.

Your friendship had been damaged, you both knew it, you no longer talked or spent time together, you just fucked and it was killing the only "friendship" left between you. All these years, your secrets, the smiles, your nights awake under the stars, the talks in the wee hours of the morning, nothing made sense anymore.

You had become strangers. Strangers who fucked and nothing more. And that broke your soul. Because you were used to the idea of him being yours when in reality he wasn't. Clearly tonight was proving it. You were nothing. All that had meant nothing.

Of course, you have to admit that you never promised anything. You only saw each other when you wanted to fuck and then he left you with your feelings blooming. You were afraid that he would leave you at some point, which was the normal thing to do because of his situation, but it hurt you more that he didn't even bother to ask you how you felt about everything.

When you feel like that's enough from him, you pull away from his mouth, hearing him growl as he tries to kiss you again and you run your face. Gavi watches you somewhat angrily and confused.

"What's wrong?" he asks without understanding.

"We need to talk" you say putting your hands on your chest.

You feel that if you don't put a stop to this, you will end up consumed by passion and whether you want to or not, this is hurting you more than him.

"We don't have to say anything" he murmurs toying with your waist, his fingers draw you back to him and your body responds.

His hands feel warm on your skin and you recognize his scent quickly. His nose sniffs your skin and you shiver as you feel your belly churn. You swallow saliva holding your breath to maintain your posture and push him away from you again. But he doesn't let go and drags you onto the couch, depositing you on it gently as his lips impact yours.

Inevitably like an action programmed in your head, you reciprocate his kiss but instead of feeling it with passion, you pity him. You want to kiss him, it's clear but not knowing that he will then walk out the door and leave you a mess. How he's done it for months, come, take a piece of your soul and then leave with it.

You don't want to be the one to end it this way but unlike Gavi, you seem to be the only one who has the balls to do something about your little friendship or whatever relationship you have.

But you want to enjoy it one last time. At least you deserve it if you'll finish everything after this. So you try to keep his every move in your head, to remember every trace of his touch on your skin, to file every caress of his lips on yours. Even though your heart aches and you want to push him away from you, you allow yourself to enjoy his touch, his desire, his passion.

"Pablo" you call him panting when he crosses the boundaries.

You feel it's the perfect time to speak. If you don't now, you never will knowing him. His dark eyes look at you in confusion and his attention is drawn to you.

"We need to end this" you say softly. Your hands encircle the back of his neck and his brow furrows in confusion.

"What do you say, Y/n?" he asks doubtfully. His body lifts off of yours and he re-incorporates himself sitting up to look at you seriously.

"I can't do this anymore, Pablo" you admit sighing.

"Do what?" he insists.

You shake your head worriedly. He lets out a grumbling huff.

You don't say anything more. You've just said it all. He looks at you confused and his shoulders tense at your overwhelming silence. He doesn't seem to want to understand the situation and that makes you despair, he really is being selfish.

"Do you want to end this?" he asks tensely.

"Y-yes" you say sincerely and painfully.

"You're overreacting" his arms rest on his thighs and he sighs. "It's just sex" he says again.

Your chest heaves as you feel the pain grow. It's breaking your soul that he's so indifferent to you as if he never cared about your feelings.

Yes, maybe it was just sex. But you can no longer hide as if your feelings for him haven't changed, you're tired of enduring the pain he leaves every time he seeks you out and then leaves you. He gives you signals that you don't know how to take and then disappears like its nothing, it's not fair. Every time you tried to talk this with him, he would ignore you or say it was your ideas.

"We're not the same anymore, we've changed" you insist with your voice cracking.

"We're just friends" he points out lifting his shoulders.

Those words burn in your head. Just friends. Yes, you were but not clearly anymore. You are in a vicious cycle that only leaves you in a loop of the same thing over and over again. Maybe he doesn't see it that way but you are in danger.

"No, we're not friends anymore..." you say with a sigh.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" he questions exhaustedly interrupting you.

His tone of voice surprises you. The words choke in your throat and the air becomes tiny.

"Stop ignoring me, stop acting like a jerk, stop avoiding this conversation, Pablo" you say, a little excited.

You are hurt. You've wanted to talk for so long and keeping these feelings bottled up has hurt you, you won't shut up again. You are tired. You want this to end, for better or worse.

His back tenses as he listens to you, rests his elbows on his thighs and clutches his head in hiding. Just like a coward.

"I'm sick of you ignoring me and then coming after me like you don't give a shit about my feelings" you spit without swinging. "You want to have sex fine! but then don't ignore me for days, answer when I call you or listen to me when i want to talk to you, at least answer my fucking messages!" you shout in exasperation.

Gavi shakes his head denying with a wry laugh.

"You have no right to ask me anything, we are nothing" he mutters harshly and you tremble with fury.

"It's not fair!" you shriek out of your mind. "Do you even wonder how I would feel after you run every time you come back for me?" you ask warily.

He snorts again as if what you say is meaningless to him. Like you weren't important at all. he wasn't going to say anything? He really was an idiot.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks as if he reads your mind.

"I want to be with you but do you want to be with me?" you question confident with your statement.

You can see his neck tense and his muscles react. Still with his head down, he remains silent. He knows very well what your words come to and the meaning of being with you is not just fucking. It goes far beyond that.

"Of course I want to" he says obviously raising his head.

"That's not what I mean, Pablo" you mumble slowly.

His eyes search for you and you bite your lips eagerly.

"Why do you say stupid things?" he asks with a grimace. His nose wrinkles and you feel like you want to cry. "We said nothing was going to happen between us, we were just going to have fun."

Your belly twists in pain. You're completely vulnerable in front of him but you don't care, you just want this to be over with for fuck's sake.

"We never said that, it just happened" you whisper weakly.

"Because we only sleep together when we want to, isn't that what we used to do?" he lifts his arms exhaustedly.

"That's what you want!" you squeal again.

Tears begin to sting in your eyes and pain spreads through every pore of your body. This is hurting too much but more you are hurt by his indifference, his unconcern. Knowing that he doesn't care about you at all.

"I can't go through with this" you admit devastated.

"I don't understand why you're giving it so much thought, it's just sex, there are no feelings in between" he insist getting up from his spot.

"Did you really think this would work?" you question you scornful and disappointed. "You're hurting me!" you spit in reproach.

His attitudes are the straw that broke the camel's back. Ignoring you for days, leaving you alone when you needed him, pretending you were fine, that your relationship as friends was perfect, not caring enough, avoiding conversations. He may not see it this way but he couldn't see what was hurting you either.

"You're the one who ruined it!" he raises his voice pointing at you.

His words stab like daggers into your chest and you swallow a sob. You don't want to make a fuss when it doesn't even make sense, he's just said it all. Yes, you fell in love. But it's not your fault, it's both of yours for letting this happen.

Gavi watches you and you can't stand it. It hurts you to be the one with enough nerve to face the situation and yet he still gets offended. He acts like nothing is going on between you when your whole relationship is in chaos. You are no longer the same as you were months ago, you are not friends, not a couple, not close, not anything.

He clearly just sees you as someone he can fuck and nothing more. He doesn't see you as a friend, he doesn't see you as a lover, he doesn't see you as the person who is in love with him. He doesn't see you at all.

"Go away" you ask sobbing. You cover your chest with your knees and hug yourself, looking for some encouragement.

You want to let it all go. You need to get it off your chest and forget about it. He doesn't say anything, just stares at you in confusion. His silence burns, leaves a trace of emptiness in your heart and makes you despair but there is nothing else to do.

"Let's forget what happened, it's just you and me" he whispers kneeling in front of you and wraps his hands around your legs.

Pablo tries to smile weakly as he caresses your skin. Your chest resonates and you want me to embrace you but you can't. You can't get back into this vicious cycle, which only makes your heart break. You have to cut the streak and try to save yourself because Gavi doesn't seem to want to save you either.

You deny in tears, how can he be so cynical like that? You just said that this is over, that you're hurting each other, that there's no end here with no one coming out healthy.

"Go away" you demand angrily again.

His eyes weaken and he opens his mouth to say something but you don't let him. Not when all that comes out of his mouth is shit towards you.

"Get out of my house now" you shriek on the verge of exploding.

Your shout takes him by surprise and he stands up quickly, startled. He scratches the back of his neck as he searches for your sad look and when he meets it, he knows you're serious.

He nods slightly and moves but stops to look at you again, your head looks away as tears fall endlessly down your cheeks. You won't see him go. You don't want him to leave. But it has to end here.

You hear his soft footsteps walking away and open the door, for a few seconds he stands there. You can see him out of the corner of your eye, his hand is holding the doorknob and he keeps watching you, as if he expects you to ask him not to leave at any moment, but you don't.

You hug yourself tighter over your body and sob as he slams the door of your apartment, walking completely out of it. You collapse into a thousand pieces in that instant, letting out everything that made you ache.

Your head hurts from crying so much but your heart hurts more. You had lost the war against Gavi and you had fallen for him. It was obvious that at some point one of you would feel something for the other but clearly, that had not been Gavi.

You loved him. You were in love with him and you hoped he felt the same but his signals didn't tell you the same and acting now was the only way to save yourself. It should never have started like this, you should have stopped this before it was too late.

You try to hold out hope that in time, you were going to heal and understand his reasons. But for now, you can only live with the burden of having fallen in love with someone who doesn't love you back.

[crackedhrglass]

i got this ask on my strawpage and was gonna type it up in my notes app and post it to twitter, but i really couldn't figure out a way to say it concisely, so i'm answering it here bc it's prob gonna be long lol.

do i think stancest is actually canon? simply put, no. despite how often i'm like "STANCEST IS CANON!!" i truly don't think that AH and the writers intended stan & ford's relationship to be seen through an incestuous lens.

their relationship is def the heart of the show, second only to dipper & mabel's own bond. they are the center of each other's worlds, their story & character arcs revolve almost entirely around each other, and their happy ending is literally the two of them sailing off into the sunset to spend "the rest of their days" together (ford says this almost word-for-word in journal 3).

but i still don't think all of that was meant to be taken romantically.

in my opinion, where things start to get a little weird is, surprisingly enough, ford's relationship with bill.

the rest is under a cut bc HOLY SHIT this got longer than i expected.

there's no denying that bill was written to deliberately parallel stan in a number of ways, from his mannerisms, to his conman status, to the fact that he calls ford the same name stan did when they were kids.

he's written in a very intentional way that makes him serve as both stan's parallel and his foil, especially in their respective relationships to ford (bill feeds into ford's ego and encourages him to aspire for greatness alone, stan has always been a direct obstacle & challenge to ford's ego, accidentally ruining his chances at WCT & encouraging him to live out their childhood dream together; bill valued infinite power over his own family and destroyed his dimension as a result, stan valued his family over everything, and saved ford and his dimension as a result).

normally, this wouldn't be that big of a deal to a stancest shipper like myself. but as the book of bill & the accompanying website all but confirmed in big, flashing neon lights, ford & bill have a romantic history and are exes.

having the two people closest to ford be compared to one another is one thing. having ford be drawn to bill because of how similar he is to the brother he secretly misses is one thing.

having ford be romantically involved with said character is what makes me raise an eyebrow lol.

again, do i think ford is literally a brocon who's got repressed sexual/romantic feelings for stan?

no.

i do, however, think he has unresolved Brother Issues that led him to subconsciously find comfort in a romantic partner that reminded him of stan (right down to bill calling him stan's nickname for him) in much the same way a person with "daddy issues" may seek out affection & intimacy from someone who reminds them of their father (or is just "fatherly" in general).

that much, i believe, was actually intentional. it's just too blatant to not be lol. it'd be a completely different story if either

bill & stan were nothing alike (untrue) or

ford & bill's relationship was strictly platonic and didn't have any romantic implications (also untrue)

i've said this before, but this isn't just a case of "oh, ford fell in love with someone who just coincidentally reminds him of his brother." bill's use of the nickname "sixer" during their first encounter was a deliberate attempt at appealing to a part of ford that was repressed, vulnerable, and aching, in order to get ford's guard down and make it easier for ford to trust him, and it worked.

billford is a ship that, to put it bluntly, would not exist without ford's buried feelings for stan, even disregarding shipping/incest/etc. ford's desire to be close to stan even platonically is what allowed bill to needle his way into ford's heart in the first place.

and all of this wouldn't be that weird if, again, bill hadn't continued to feed into ford's longing for stan even after they'd established a romantic relationship, by still calling him "sixer" and trying to permanently sever the relationship he had with stan specifically, once he and ford broke up (the phone call he tried to make while in ford's body that was described in tbob).

to put it another way, imagine if wendy was basically an older, taller mabel, or if any of mabel's crushes were eerily similar to dipper. people in the fandom would def take notice and view it as a little strange. so i don't get how people can look at ford dating someone so blatantly and intentionally similar to stan and think to themselves "ah yes, this is normal. ford is completely Normal and definitely doesn't have any underlying issues whatsoever" lmao

to conclude: no, i don't think ford & stan's relationship is actually canonically romantic, nor do i think ford falling in love with bill was incestuous, necessarily.

but i do think that he had a desperate longing to reconcile with stan buried DEEEEEEP down, and it manifested itself in the form of being attracted to bill, which is probably why he never bothered correcting bill's use of the nickname "sixer" since their very first meeting, or ever expressed that it made him uncomfortable.