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magicforjournals · 3 years

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The Green Dress (A Story About Loki)

Chapter 5 - Gravity

This is long overdue and I apologize! I hope you like it !! Taglist is still open :)

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Warning : Explicit (18+)

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You’re sitting on the couch, giggling, as you’re watching Loki fumble through your cabinets and drawers in the kitchen, looking for a bottle opener for the wine. He had insisted on ordering pizza for you, since the dinner you had prepared for the two of you was no longer edible, and you had agreed it was a great idea.

“Got it!” he says, waving the bottle opener proudly. A wave of desire washes over you again as you watch him walk over to you, his pants falling loosely on his hips, shirt unbuttoned, his perfect body just taunting you.

He plops down on the couch next to you, smiling tenderly, as you brush his hair out of his eyes, no longer combed back. You can’t help but smile, feeling complete with Loki by your side. The pure happiness you felt in his presence was so overwhelming to you, you’d never felt like this before. Without even knowing him that well, you feel like you belonged together, it was almost magnetic, two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together. And as much as you loved this pull between you, it scared you. Terrified you to your very core. And for so many reasons. Loki was… well Loki. He had, in the past, caused so much pain and destruction, to your world, even to you. Granted, you were one of the lucky ones that had not lost family members or friends in the attacks, but you had lost the first home you ever bought. Even though you were never overly materialistic, that loss still stung. But Natasha was right, everyone needed a chance at redemption, and you were not against it. On the contrary, you were a teacher, it was deeply ingrained in you to bring people to see the best in them, to work hard to become a better version of themselves. But, you didn’t want to become a lifeline for him. You didn’t want anyone to depend on you that way. It was different with your students, but Loki was a grown man. In fact, he was a god, from an entirely different world and, you, you were just a simple mortal. How could you make a relationship work? How could you ever measure up to his existence? You just had so many questions, so much was just standing in the balance, too many uncertainties.

“Are you ok?” Loki asks, gently stroking your face and bringing you back to reality.

“Yes,” you smile back at him, pressing your head softly against his touch.

“Would you like some wine?” He offers, handing you a glass.

“Thank you very much.”Nodding slowly.

“Anything for you.” He adds with a wink, making you blush.

“I realize there’s not much we know about each other,” you start, grabbing a slice of pizza, bringing your bare legs under you. After you had finally decided to get out of bed, solely because of your rumbling stomach, you had thrown on the same oversized t-shirt from before and slid on a pair of lace panties.

“Not much indeed, what would you like to know?” Loki answered, his gaze locked on your thick thighs he desperately wanted around his face again.

“I.. uhm… everything?” You chance.

He laughs, your heart swelling at the sound. “We’ll be here for days, my darling,” he replies, stroking your cheek once more, igniting another fire through your stomach.

“I want to get to know you,” you whisper.

Grabbing his own glass of wine, he snuggles in next to you, adjusting his position to face you and resting a gentle hand against your arm. “Well I was raised on Asgard, as you know.” He pauses, hesitates before continuing in a soft voice. “But I was born on Jotunheim, home of the Frost Giants.”

“Oh,” is all you can manage, shocked by the revelation. You had heard of the Frost Giants from Thor’s stories, but you never knew that Loki was one of them. If Thor had ever mentioned it, it certainly wasn’t when you were around. “What happened to your biological parents?” you ask, your voice barely audible.

“I know nothing of my birth mother, but my father is Laufey, King of the Frost Giants.” That made sense now that you thought about his last name; Laufeyson. The connection had never occurred to you before. Loki takes a deep breath, “Odin found me when he came to Jotunheim, waging war against the Frost Giants. I had been abandoned in a temple by Laufey, he had deemed me too small and weak to be a Frost Giant and had left me there to die. Odin brought me home and Frigga, my mother, raised me as her own, making sure my Frost Giant appearance remained hidden to others. She did it to ensure my safety. I was a child, and I didn’t understand why she would keep me away from a lot of people, or made sure I didn’t get in trouble, but also treated Thor differently. It was all to keep me safe... I miss her.” He whispers. You knew about the horrible fate Frigga had succumbed to. It had taken quite the toll on Thor, and you couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Loki to lose his mother. He looks up at you, his beautiful green eyes filled with tears, pain and grief apparent in them. As a single tear falls down his cheek, you realize that this seemingly confident, strong man standing in front of you is still profoundly grieving the only being he truly loved and who truly loved him.

Putting your glass down, you reach over to grab his and set it on the coffee table. Slowly, you climb into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a deep embrace. His strong arms wrap around your waist as he pulls you even tighter to his chest, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as he sighs softly, whispering a low “thank you” against your skin. Pulling away, Loki cradles your face and gazes into your eyes before kissing you ever so softly. You whimper quietly in his mouth, drawing him closer and tightening your thighs around him. The kiss turns into one steamy and full of passion, every kiss he gives you surpasses the previous ones in intensity. It sends shivers down your spine as he runs his hands up your back and into your hair. You could stay here and kiss him forever. With a sigh, he pulls back gently, a quiet protest escaping your lips as he chuckles at your reaction. Blushing violently, you hide your face in his neck, muttering a sad “sorry”, which only makes him giggle harder.

“It’s okay darling, don’t apologize,” Loki whispers in your hair. “I just have to restrain myself, I could spend hours just tasting you.”

The sound of his deep voice as he whispers those words so close to your ear transforms you into a puddle in his lap and you hope he won’t be saying things like that again, or you’ll soak his pants.

“Why don’t you tell me about yourself?” He asks, running his hand up and down your spine. “All I know is that you’re a teacher and you are friends with the Avengers. I want to know more about you.” He adds, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you turn your head up to meet his eyes.

“My life is pretty boring,” you chuckle. “Is there anything you want to know?”

Loki smiles at you and cradles your face. “I want to know everything.” You laugh before he adds, “why don’t we just start with your favorite food?”

“Uhmmm tough one…” you answer. “I really love sushi, it became my favorite when I moved to the city. But, my mother’s lasagna will probably always be my favorite.”

“You’ll have to make it for me then!” He says, all smiles.

“I would mess it up ! No, no way!”

“Well then, we’ll have to practice to make the perfect lasagna won’t we?” He says, playing with your hair. There’s that we again, you think.

“It’ll take years.” You chance, waiting to see what his answer will be.

“That’s okay.”

“What’s your favorite food?” You ask. “Is it some dish from Asgard?”

“No actually. It might shock you, but I love human food a lot more than Asgardian food.”

“There’s no way Loki!” You laugh. “How can our food be better than Asgardian food?”

“I don’t know,” he replies softly. “It just is. I absolutely love your food! And I do have a preference for pizza, if you couldn’t tell.” He adds, pointing to the box on the coffee table.

Laughter fills the room as you both sit up to grab a slice of pizza. You eat in silence for a little while, just basking in each other’s presence. Once you finish your slices, you lean back down against his chest, cuddling up in his lap.

“Can I ask you another question?” Loki whispers in your ear.

“Mmmhmm,” you nod softly.

“How old are you?”

“I’m 26,” you answer simply, shrugging your shoulders. “How old are you? I mean, do gods even age?”

“Yes”, Loki chuckles. “I do age, just extremely slower than humans... “ Pause. Hesitation? “I was born in 965 A.D.”

“WHAT?!” You shoot up in his lap as if someone had shocked you. “You were born in 965 A.D.?! But that would make you…” Your nose scrunches up as you’re trying to figure out how old Loki really was.

“1054 is the number you’re looking for,” he answers you. 1054 years old… that is… too many lifetimes.

“How… How does that translate in human years?” You whisper, still profoundly confused.

Loki sets you down gently on the couch next to him, and covers you up in the blanket you had discarded while climbing into his lap. “Well, it’s hard to really know how old I am in human years. Asgardians live for approximately 5000 years.” An audible wheeze escapes your lips as you take that in. Loki would outlive you. He would also forget you. “However,” he adds, wrapping his arms around you. “I’m not Asgardians, and I’m unsure on how fast the Frost Giants age. If I were to take a guess, based on my knowledge and research about my origins, I would say that I should be around 28 years old. But it’s really hard to tell, after all I’m younger than Thor by almost 500 years, and he would only be 25 years old.” You shake your head, trying to make sense of all the information that was just thrown at you. Thor was older, but acted - and was - only 25. Did that mean that technically, Loki was even more immature than his brother sometimes? He said he should be around 28, but was he really? Age was never really a big concern of yours. Obviously too young or too old wasn’t ok, but Loki was ancient.

“Does my age bother you?” Loki asks, and his worried tone snaps you back to reality.

“Oh!” you gasp yet again. “No… Not really. At least I don’t think so.” You answer honestly. “I thought you were older, but 1054 just took me by surprise... God, you’re really old Loki!” You say, laughing loudly.

“Yeah I know, my back’s been killing me lately too!” Loki says, following you in your laughter.

You keep laughing as you rest your head on his shoulder. What were you expecting? That he was the same age as you while he comes from a different planet and is a literal deity?

“If there is anything that bothers you about my origins, you would tell me, right darling?” Loki asks after your laughing spurt.

“Yes, of course.” You reply. There was so much you wanted to ask him about where he thought this - you two - was going, how he felt about you, but it was too early for that. You’d only kissed him a handful of times and had slept with him on an impulse. Not that you regretted it, no, never, but it was too early to think of you two as anything else than what you were in the present moment.

You shuffle around on the couch as Loki bends over to grab a slice of pizza and your wine glass, which he hands you. “Could I ask you a couple more questions about your life?” He asks politely.

You giggle as you nod your head.

“Tell me about your family,” he says.

You cuddle up next to him as you tell him about your younger sister and brother, how your parents are still as much in love as the day they met, how your entire family; aunts, uncles and grandparents, are all tightly knit. You tell him how your family is one of the most important parts of your life, how they have always supported you in any decisions you made. You start giggling as you tell him that your parents had even supported your decision of nursing a baby bird, that had fallen out of its nest, back to health when you were about 9 years old. Your mother had no idea how to properly feed a bird that young, or even what to feed it, but it didn’t stop her from doing research and helping you get that little baby back to its parents.

“You are so loving and compassionate,” Loki says, in a soft voice while staring at you with loving eyes. “I’m certain that you are an amazing teacher.”

“I truly hope so. I only want what’s best for my students.”

“I am positive that you are the best teacher out there. I’m curious, what made you decide to become a teacher?” He asks.

“I-I’m not sure... “ you answer. “I always knew that I wanted to help people. I could have become a nurse or a firefighter… but for some reason, teaching was always my calling. I used to help my siblings and the kids in the neighbourhood with their homework every week when I was younger. I guess I just always thought of myself as a teacher.” You add, shrugging.

Loki puts a gentle hand on your cheek, turning your face towards his and giving the softest and most passionate kiss yet. “You are truly amazing,” he whispers against your lips. A goofy smile spreads across your face as he praises you.

“What about you, always wanted to be a trickster,” you ask, winking at him.

“Oh, you think you’re funny! I should change you into a frog.”

“Oh my God no, please have mercy Loki, please!” You plead, moving away from him as quickly as you can.

“Too late!” He grabs you by the ankles and pulls you back towards him, trapping you in his arms. “Now you’re my prisoner, however, maybe I should keep you like this, I like you better as a human.” “What a compliment, O mighty Loki.” You tease him.

He starts laughing, as he pulls you in closer.

“You know, in the past, I would’ve given anything to hear people call me that... Not anymore.” He says, stroking your cheek. “You know... I regret my actions. I’ve come to the realization, in the last couple of years, that power was my way to feel retaliate. I thought that if I had power, I could be important, people would notice me like they noticed my brother. I was really angry with everyone, with the world, for what had happened to me as a child. I didn’t realize that my mother had tried to protect me, a baby that was brought to her quite unexpectedly. I was angry with Odin for treating me differently. I was angry with Laufey for abandoning me. I was angry with Thor for always seeming so perfect…” Loki pauses, taking a deep breath. “It wasn’t until after my mother’s death and I took my father’s throne,” he offers you a crooked, apologetic smile, “that I truly realized that power wasn’t what I thought it was, it wasn’t happiness. I had lost my mother, and I could never tell her how truly grateful I was that she had taken me in, loved me and raised me as her own. I have made my peace with my father and my brother, and I have been working relentlessly to make up for my past actions… But I know that trust, once broken, isn’t easily fixed.”

“You know,” you say, taking his face between your hands, forcing him to look into your eyes. “Everyone is deserving of a second chance.”

“But what happens if they mess up their second chance?” He whispers between your hands.

“Third time’s a charm,” you shrug. “I used to be angry at you Loki... for attacking the city, destroying homes… my home. B-”

“I destroyed your home?!” he interrupts you, sitting up quickly, pushing you to the edge of his lap. “How.. When.. I-I’m so sorry.” He adds, tears slowly filling up his eyes.

“It’s ok. I mean, I’m over it now… I think at the time it was harder because it was the first home I had ever purchased. But I had just moved in, barely any of my things were there. So I didn’t lose everything.” Loki looks at you in horror, you can see the pain in his eyes as you tell him how his attacks on the city affected you.

“I should leave,” he says, trying to lift you off of him, as you repeat over and over again that it’s ok. “You should not be here with me, I’ve hurt you. You should be angry with me. Why are you not angry with me?!”

“Loki,” you say, your tone firm, grabbing his face between your hands again. “It’s in the past. The house, it was just wood, something that can be rebuilt. I’m ok, my belongings are ok, I didn’t lose anything that was extremely important to me. A house is just a house.”

“No, it was your home.” He whispers, avoiding your eyes.

“You’re wrong,” you tell him softly, his eyes darting back up to meet yours. “My home is wherever and with whoever I choose it to be.”

“I’m sorry,” Loki says quickly before bringing your face to his and kissing you passionately. He keeps kissing you with more and more passion, whispering soft “sorrys” as his hands make his way up to your hair, fingers getting lost.

You moan softly as you bring yourself closer to him, slowly grinding your hips along his lap. He wraps one arm around your waist and pulls you in tight, deepening your kiss. You can feel him getting harder under you, pushing gently against you and making you so wet. In one quick movement, you’re on your back on the couch, Loki towering above you.

“I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve caused you,” he says softly. “I know I can’t make it up to you, but I need you to know that I will try. I will beg for your forgiveness if that’s what it takes. You are important to me. I don’t know why, but I can’t stay away from you, I can’t stop thinking about you. I need to be close to you.” He adds before kissing you again, almost desperately this time, making you moan. You want him, you want all of him. You were mad, you were upset, but what’s past is past. And Loki seems genuinely sorry about his past, and you believe in second, even third chances. And right now, you just want his lips, his hands on you.

You wrap your arms around his neck as he kisses you, pulling him closer, needing his body against yours. Loki moves his lips to your neck, sliding his hands down the length of your body, grabbing your thigh tightly, a moan escaping your lips. You grind your hips up to meet him, rubbing against his erection. You want him inside of you, you want to feel him pulsing and throbbing as he makes love to you. Slowly, his hand that was groping your thigh moves to the inside of it, making its way to your panties. You feel him run a painfully slow finger along the lace of it, right over your needy clit and you gasp, begging him to just touch you. Pushing the fabric to the side, Loki starts drawing little circles around your clit as you pump your hips up, trying to get the friction you desperately need. He chuckles as he starts rubbing faster, and then he slides a long finger inside of your soaking folds, replacing his finger on your clit with his thumb. Catching your lips again, trapping your moans in your throat, he starts pumping his finger, getting faster and faster before he adds a second finger, driving you closer and closer to the edge.

“Fuck Loki, I’m gonna cum,” you moan out.

“Cum for me darling, cum around my fingers.” He groans at you.

His words alone push you over the edge and you whimper loudly as you cum all over his fingers, walls clenching down around him, your body shaking from your orgasm.

“Such a good girl,” Loki says, bringing his fingers to his mouth, tasting you.

With shaky legs, you stand up, stripping out of your shirt and soaked underwear. He looks at you with hungry eyes, devouring every inch of your body. He watches you as you kneel down between his legs, undoing his pants and sliding them off. His dick is bulging under his boxers and your mouth waters at the sight of it. Slowly, you reach for it, rubbing your hand along the length of it, Loki’s moan escaping his lips. He lifts his butt up for you to slide off his boxers, releasing his throbbing cock. Grabbing it in your hand, you stroke him slowly, licking the tiny bead of precum pearling at the tip, before licking the length of him, making him groan under your touch. Standing up, you straddle him on the couch, lining him up with your soaking cunt. Gripping your hips, Loki gently pulls you down on him, his thick cock filling you beautifully. You stay there for a second, savoring the feeling of each other, before you start to ride him slowly. Leaning his head back on the back of the couch, he moans as he grips your hips tighter, letting you ride him at your own pace. Leaning down to kiss his neck, you grind your hips on him, making him growl under you. You begin to ride him faster, harder, bouncing on his lap as his dick hits that spot inside of you that you didn’t know existed until tonight and you feel yourself getting closer as you ride him.

“F-Fuck, you’re so big Loki.” You moan, grinding your hips, looking for some kind of friction on your clit to get you off.

“Don’t talk like that, I- I won’t last.” He replies, his hand dipping in between the two of you, thumb starting to rub tight circles around your clit as if he understood your grinding.

“Oh fuck Loki!” You scream as his digit meets your tiny ball of nerves.

“I-I’m so close, don’t stop.”

Gripping your hips tighter with one hand and rubbing faster with the other, Loki brings you to your fourth orgasm of the night. You let out a choked out scream as you cum all over his dick, walls again clamping around him, and milking him as he cums with you. Slowly, you ride out your orgasms, holding each other close. Loki cups your face as your body starts shaking, and kisses you gently.

“You are amazing,” he whispers against your lips.

“I could say the same about you,” you whisper back. “However, I now need a shower.” You add giggling.

“I will take my leave then, give you some privacy.”

You flutter around him before any words leave your lips and he smiles at you, feeling you clench. “I don’t want you to leave.” You say.

“Alright darling, I won’t leave until you ask me to.” He answers, stroking your cheek and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

Getting off of him and walking to your bathroom, you can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. Loki follows close behind and wraps his bare arms around your waist as you turn the shower on. Showering together, you keep teasing one another, lathering soap up excruciatingly slow, lingering touches, soft kisses. There’s a moment where he freaks out, turning almost hysteric, as he rubs soap between your legs, realizing that he came inside of you twice tonight. With a laugh, you reassure him that you’re on birth control and there’s very little possibility you’ll get pregnant. He let out the biggest sigh ever, telling you he should’ve been more careful regardless because he didn’t want to upset your life.

When you step out of the shower, you notice the clock for the first time that night and gasp at how late it is. Following your gaze, Loki apologizes for taking up so much of your time.

“Don’t you dare apologize, tonight was amazing.” You say, getting up on the tip of your toes to kiss him.

Wrapping his arms around you again, Loki kisses you back before whispering how the thought of leaving you tonight pains him.

“Stay,” you whisper back.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“Yes.”

As you lay in your bed, Loki’s arms wrapped around you, you can’t help but feel at peace. You’ve never felt this happy before, never felt like you truly belonged somewhere. But in Loki’s arms, you feel complete and slowly, you drift off to sleep.

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The sun coming through your window and warming up your face is what wakes you up the following morning. Loki’s arms are still around you and you can’t help but stare at his angelic face. His black hair all in disarray from sleeping with wet hair, his face relaxed with sleep, you could look at him forever. Glancing over his shoulder, you see that your alarm clock is showing 7:45am. You overslept! Classes start in an hour, and you need to be at school before 8:30.

“Loki,” you say, gently shaking him awake. “Loki, we need to get up. We overslept, I’m gonna be late for work.”

“Mmmm…?” He groans at first. “Oh! I’m so sorry!”

“Stop apologizing,” you laugh. “Just get your butt out of my bed.”

“Yes ma’am!” He says, shooting up and running to the living room to put his clothes on.

Rushing to your closet, you throw on your favorite dress with a pair of nylons and knee high boots before putting your hair in a bun and wiping the mascara from under your eyes. Thankfully, your makeup from the night prior wasn’t really smudged and was therefore acceptable for you to wear at work. Grabbing your glasses, you walk out to your living room to see Loki by the front door, with your bags in hand and a banana plucked from your kitchen counter along with your to-go coffee mug. You see the coffee machine is shutting off after use.

“Breakfast,” he says, waving the banana at you. “I’m driving you to school, so you can drink your coffee and eat.”

“Loki, you don’t have to.”

“I insist, you’re late because of me.” He argues. “Let’s go now!”

You giggle as you grab your coat and keys, locking your door and making your way to his car. The ride to school isn’t a long one and you chomp down your banana while he sings along to the music on the radio, making you smile.

As he pulls up in the parking lot, he tugs on your shirt, pulling you in for a soft kiss. Sighing against his lips, you wish you could stay with him all day. Loki gets out of the car and walks around to the passenger side to open your door.

Extending his hand to you, he helps you out of the car, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest. “Can I see you again tonight?” He asks, flashing you that smile that makes your inside twist.

“Not tired of me yet?” You giggle in his arms. “I would love to see you again tonight, but it’s test day today, which means I’ll have about 60 copies to grade tonight. My coffee machine will be working all night.” You add.

“How about I come to cook you an amazing dinner, which I promise won’t burn this time,” he winks at you. “I just want to make sure you eat a proper meal. I’ll leave afterwards if you don’t want me to stay, I promise.” He proposes.

“Uhmmmm….” You reply. “That does sound tempting. Pick me up at 4 then?”

“It’s a date darling.” Loki says, leaning forward to kiss your lips softly.

He grabs your bags out of the back seat and kisses you once more before letting you go. As you walk away, you feel an emptiness settle in the pit of your stomach. You can’t help but turn around to see Loki standing, driver side door open, watching you walk away from him. The way he’s looking at you, adoration in his eyes, makes you want to run back to him. This feeling between you, this attraction, this need to be with the other, it’s as if gravity itself was pulling you towards each other. Unexplainably, you knew, at that moment, that he was your world now, and you were his.

@kingtwhiddleston

#loki x reader #loki x you #Loki Laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki (marvel)#loki smut #marvel #marvel fanfic series #mcu #Avengers #tom hiddleston #reader insert #the green dress #green dress a story about loki

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pamphletstoinspire · 3 years

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Mary, Star of the Sea: The Light Who Guides Us Home

We find ourselves in increasingly more turbulent seas as the world continues to battle the COVID-19 pandemic, economic uncertainty, and in some places, unrest, instability, and violence. That doesn’t even include the dictatorship of relativism, hedonism, utilitarianism, violent ideologies, and nihilism that have taken over our culture. The Barque (Ship or Boat) of Peter once more finds herself buffeted by the waves in the fourth watch of the night as we make our way to the eternal shores.

It is precisely in times such as ours when countless Christians down through the ages have turned to Our Blessed Mother for aid. Since we find ourselves in darkness, uncertainty, and at times battling immense doubt about the right course to take, now is the time to turn to Mary, Star of the Sea. We can always trust in her guidance and leadership.

The world is in desperate need of light and Our Heavenly Mother, who radiates the light of Christ wants to guide us to eternity and to the fullness of communion in the Most Holy Trinity we are made for. As we make our way through these troubled times, She is the one who will strengthen us in faith in a way only a mother can. Her tender care, patience, and great love for us is perfectly united to Christ. She desires our salvation. When the seas become stormy and the darkness closes in around us, She comes to strengthen us in faith.

The Church holds up Our Lady as a model of perfect faith. In his beautiful encyclical on Mary, Redemptoris Mater, St. John Paul II states:

But above all, in the Church of that time and of every time Mary was and is the one who is “blessed because she believed”; she was the first to believe. From the moment of the Annunciation and conception, from the moment of his birth in the stable in Bethlehem, Mary followed Jesus step by step in her maternal pilgrimage of faith. She followed him during the years of his hidden life at Nazareth; she followed him also during the time after he left home, when he began “to do and to teach” (cf. Acts 1:1) in the midst of Israel. Above all she followed him in the tragic experience of Golgotha.

Our Lady guides us to her Son through her example of faith. From the mundanity of daily life to the difficulties of discipleship and all the way to the Cross, Our Blessed Mother seeks to safely guide us to the safe haven of heaven.

She stands with us at the foot of the Crosses of our lives. She wants to lead us away from anger, hatred, division, and despair in the face of the difficulties we are facing. She wants to draw us to her Son who can cast out all of our fears. There is no other human being who understands the transformative power of the Cross with all of its agonies and darkness than Our Blessed Mother. She can leads us into the depths of Christ’s love for us in our darkest moments.

The Church has always sought her aid. The Apostles fearful and uncertain in the Upper Room turned trustingly to her firm faith in the nascent Church. Christian disciples throughout Church history suffering every form of affliction have turned to her for strength, wisdom, and peace. Sailors turn to her to light the way home, just as we must today. Redemptoris Mater again:

As the Council says, “Mary figured profoundly in the history of salvation….Hence when she is being preached and venerated, she summons the faithful to her Son and his sacrifice, and to love for the Father.” For this reason, Mary’s faith, according to the Church’s apostolic witness, in some way continues to become the faith of the pilgrim People of God: the faith of individuals and communities, of places and gatherings, and of the various groups existing in the Church. It is a faith that is passed on simultaneously through both the mind and the heart. Therefore, “the Church in her apostolic work also rightly looks to her who brought forth Christ, conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin, so that through the Church Christ may be born and increase in the hearts of the faithful also.”

As we find ourselves tossed about on the waves of the storms of this life we must seek her heavenly aid. We cannot go it alone. She knows the trials, tribulations, and agonies of this life. She who held the infant Son of God in her arms and later held her Crucified Son in her grief-stricken arms knows our suffering. She who held Him with a tenderness and love that cannot be matched by any other human being will hold us in her loving arms and shine brightly in the darkness to light the way. She will stay close to us when all hope seems lost and when we become afraid that we will be capsized by the fierce waves.

Oftentimes when things become uncertain or difficult in this life, we want to find our own solutions. We want to find a way through the storm, but we forget to turn to Christ and His Mother. We forget that it is Christ who steers the boat and Our Lady who lights our way. There is a scene in J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings when the fellowship is about to leave Lorien. At their parting, Galadriel hands gifts to each member. She ends with Frodo and gives him a most fitting gift for the one who is called to be the Ring-bearer:

‘And you, Ring-bearer,’ she said, turning to Frodo. ‘I come to you last who are not last in my thoughts. For you I have prepared this.’ She held up a small crystal phial: it glittered as she moved it, and rays of white light sprang from her hand. ‘In the phial,’ she said, ‘is caught the light of Earendil’s star, set amid the waters of my fountain. It will shine still brighter when night is about you. May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. Remember Galadriel and her Mirror!’

The star who shines bright for us in dark places and in the dead of night while we are caught in stormy seas is Mary, Star of the Sea. There is no darkness in this life that can overtake her light because She always reflects the light of her Son. She wants to shine that light into these dark times we find ourselves in. May we turn to her with even greater devotion and love so that She can guide us to the white shores of heaven.

Loving Mother of the Redeemer, gate of heaven, star of the sea, assist your people who have fallen yet strive to rise again. To the wonderment of nature you bore your Creator, yet remained a virgin after as before. You who received Gabriel’s joyful greeting, have pity on us poor sinners.

BY: CONSTANCE T. HULL

#mary star of the sea

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wisdomrays · 3 years

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QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: What is the Primordial Covenant?: Part 1

This matter is directly mentioned in the Qur'an:

And whenever your Sustainer brings forth their offspring from the loins of the children of Adam, He (thus) calls upon them to bear witness about themselves: "Am I not your Lord?"—to which they answer: "Yes, indeed, we do bear witness thereto." [Of this we remind you] lest you say on the Day of Resurrection: "Verily, we were unaware of this." (7:172)

According to this verse, every soul was required, at some point, to bear witness to its recognition of the Divine Existence and Unity. Qur'anic commentators continue to debate when this covenant was made. Therefore, we will look at a few considerations as to when and how and to whom this question was put.

• When we were as yet nothing and received the command Be!, we gave an affirmative existential response to God's creative act, which is represented or dramatized as a question–answer or a covenant.

• When were still in the form of atoms or even particles not yet formed as atoms, the Lord of the Worlds, Who cherishes and leads everything to perfection, made these particles feel the desire and joy of being human. He therefore took the promise and covenant from them, which is considered a "Yes" from all atoms to God's creative call, though it was far beyond their own power to even imagine such an affirmation.

Such question–answer or offer–acceptance is not in words or statements. For this reason, the event has been interpreted allegorically by some, as if the question were put, answered, and had a particular legal value and effect, although it is not an actual verbal or written contract. In fact, without taking into account God's power and innumerable ways of communicating with His creatures, considering this covenant to be an ordinary contract can lead only to difficulty and error.

This acknowledgement and declaration, this covenant bearing witness against ourselves as regards our recognition of the Divine Existence and Unity, is the ground of our knowing and feeling ourselves, of comprehending that we are nothing other than ourselves. In other words, this covenant is the ground of self-knowledge. It means that we start to look into the mirror of knowledge (ma'rifa), witness the realization of diverse truths reflected in our consciousness, and acknowledge and declare that witnessing. However, the offer–acceptance, the perceiving–making perceived, the covenant, is not overt or amenable to direct perception. Perhaps it becomes perceived after many warnings and orders, and thus the significance of moral and religious guidance, counselling, and enlightenment.

The ego or self (nafs) is created and entrusted to us so that we may know and declare the Creator's Existence and Unity. Therefore, we prove God's Existence with our own existence, and show God's Attributes with our own attributes. For example, our deficiencies and imperfection show God's all-sufficiency and perfection; our privations show God's wealth and abundance; and our inability, weakness, and poverty show God's power, favor, and benevolence. The covenanted self is God's first favor and bestowal upon humanity. Our proper response is to know and declare God's Existence throughout creation and to perceive His Light in all lights. This is how the primordial covenant is fulfilled. The covenant is like a command that is accepted through understanding the meaning of the magnificent Book of Creation written by the Divine Power and Will, of our comprehending the secrets of the lines of events.

The question–answer of the covenant should not be thought of in a material or corporeal sense. God commands beings according to their particular individual nature, and listens to their needs and speech and whatever issues from them. Thus, He understands all and fulfils their needs. In the scholastic theologians' terminology, the Almighty understands all languages and dialects; issues commands and communicates truths in them; explains and expounds humanity and the universe; and takes promises and makes covenant with them in the form of words, for which the technical term is kalam-i lafzi. There is also a Divine Speech specific to animals as inspiration, and to angels as divine discourse. Although their precise natures are unknown to us, obviously it is non-verbal and consists of different manifestations of the so-called kalam-i nafsi.

Divine Speech is so diverse and extensive—from the inspiration coming to the human heart to the discourse addressed to the angels—and the forms of communication between the Creator and His creation are so different and occur in such different realms that those who inhabit one realm cannot hear or detect the communications belonging to another realm.

It is a serious mistake to suppose that we can hear everything. It is generally accepted that the range of our hearing, like our sight, is quite limited. What we see and hear is almost nothing when compared to that which we cannot see or hear. For this reason, God's communicating with the atoms or systems within this creation, His composing, decomposing or re-composing them, occur in such sublime ways that our limited perceptive powers cannot detect or understand them.

We cannot know exactly when God made this covenant with us, for such knowledge is beyond the ability of our limited senses and faculties. In fact, He might have made it not with our whole being, but with a specific part, such as our soul, conscience, or one of the soul's sub-faculties.

There is general agreement that the human soul is an entity independent of the body. Since the soul came into existence before the physical body, and in a sense has a particular individual nature outside of time, and since the questioning and acceptance in the covenant was with the soul, our limited powers cannot comprehend or report it fully. The soul hears and speaks without words and voice, as it does in dreams, and communicates extrasensorily and without the medium of sound waves, as in telepathy. This special form of communication is registered and recorded in its own specific way. When its time is due, it will assume its specific form and, using that language, speak and bring to the mind all original associations. At that time, we will see that the covenant has remained imprinted upon the human soul. In addition, it will be adduced as an argument against its possessor on the Day of Judgment.

The souls of all human beings were gathered in a realm that was not veiled by an intervening realm, and so saw everything clearly. After this, they gave God an oath of allegiance. When He asked them to witness against themselves: "Am I not your Lord?" they replied: "Yes, we witness that You are our Lord and our God." However, as is common today, some people have never turned to that section of their soul (their conscience). Thus, they have not come across that profoundly inherent covenant in themselves, for they have no interest in it and have not tried to see beyond the corporeal world that intervenes between them and reality.

If their minds were not clouded by the conditioning biases under which they live, they would see and hear the answer to the covenant in their conscience. This is the main purpose of inward and outward, as well as subjective and objective contemplation and search. Engaging in such activities saves the mind from self-obsession and frees ideals. With an open mind and a genuinely free will, people can try to read the delicate writings in their consciences. Some people who have habituated themselves to looking into the depths of their hearts cannot discover in books the thoughts and inspiration they acquire through such inward observation and contemplation. Even the allegorical meanings and allusive signs in the Divine Books can become manifest in their true profundity if studied in such a manner. But people cannot attain such a profound level of inward observation and contemplation, or understand what they might discover there, if they cannot overcome their own selves.

Let's look at the when of this covenant. It is really difficult to derive anything definite from the Qur'an and Hadith on this matter. Some commentators argue that the covenant is taken in the realm of atoms, when the person is in a state of uncomposed, separate atoms, and with the atoms and the soul of which the person will be composed. Others say that the covenant is taken while the sperm is travelling toward the egg, when the individual begins to form in the mother's womb, when it becomes a foetus, when spirit is breathed into the foetus, when the child reaches puberty, or when the person is religiously responsible for his or her actions.

While each claim has its own supporting arguments, it is difficult to show a serious reason for preferring one to another.

In fact, this event could happen in the realm of spirits, in a different realm where the soul relates to or gets in touch with its own atoms, in any embryonic stage, or in any stages till the individual reaches puberty. God Almighty, Who realtes to both past and present simultaneously, Who sees and hears past and present together at the same instant, could take the covenant at all of the stages mentioned. As believers, we hear such a communication from the depth of our consciences and know that our hearts have borne witness to such a covenant.

As a stomach expresses its emptiness in its own language, as a body tells its aches and pains in its own words, so the conscience informs us of this event in its own language and words. It suffers pain, distress, and affliction. Moaning with pangs of regret, it becomes restless to keep the promise made, and always hopes for the good and the best. When it draws attention by its sighs and moans, it feels relieved, fortunate and happy, just as children do when they draw their parents' attention. When it cannot express its need or find anyone to understand it, it writhes in pain and distress.

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godsporncollection · 4 years

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Saturday GC Sessions Summary

Topics, quotes, and summaries of the talks given in the Saturday sessions of the fall 2020 General Conference (with occasional commentary in parenthesis)

*This is (mostly) written from a TBM pov, so I’ve glossed over many... unsavory things. That said, if you’re gonna quote this, definitely proofread it first because I occasionally switch to exmo pov.

Sunday Sessions (long version)

Sunday Sessions (shorter version)

Russel M Nelson

Hopeful, holy bullshit/look at all the spiritually awesome stuff we're doing/gonna do. (idk, there didn't really seem to be much of a talk there)

David A Bednar

Tests in school are as important as the tests of us living on earth.

"Prove, examine, and try."

"If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear."

Susan and I looked over our food storage and learned that we did well in most areas, but found some expired things we were afraid would unleash another global pandemic.

Remember, when loved ones die, and you don't know why, god does. It's a lesson in faith.

Scott D Whiting

How to be more like christ.

Wife and I were in Japan, hiking up a mountain; it was hard because altitude.

One step at a time is how we become more like christ.

Honesty is important, honesty with ourselves.

You can ask others how they view you, but god is a better person to ask, with his perfect view of us.

REPENT! to be the best version of ourselves. Change your heart and mind to be like christ.

Choose one attribute to focus on at a time. Constantly ask god for help, but don't be selfish.

"Be the tide that raises all boats in the harbor."

Recognize that desired attribute in others. Put in a lot of effort.

Caution- don't feel guilty, unworthy, or unloved; that is not what life is about.

You are good enough and loved, but that doesn't mean you're a perfect version of yourself.

Michelle D Craig

Story of Elijah for allegory of struggling to see how god is in your life.

Wait and trust in god. Pray for the lord to open your eyes. Understand how god sees you.

Ask yourself: what am I doing that I should stop and what should I be doing?

Stop looking at your phone. I think it's a good time to multitask, but the spirit told me to stop and the next day, while in line at the grocery store, I looked at the people around me instead. I saw old man and struck up a conversation with him based on what was in his cart (cat food). He said it was his birthday so I wished him a happy birthday. This guy needed me to see him.

A story of a friend who separated from her husband and hoped nobody would talk to her at church. A young woman kept looking back at her and came up to her after sacrament meeting. The young woman told her she loved her and they became friends and it helped her because she felt noticed and cared about.

Ask god to help you see others and act to affirm their lives. This is how we identify our own purpose.

Quentin L Cook

Righteousness. Female followers of brigham young found career opportunites in Utah and friends in the native americans. (Gave a whole bullshit Utah thanksgiving story, complete with rewriting history so white people can feel better about themselves for feeding the natives). There is unity in respect. Historically, we have not been perfect, but that is the goal. We don't need to have all the blessings of god to be righteous. Love god and fellow man to live in eternal peace and happiness with god. "Historical record" in 1 nephi shows there were no happier people because of righteousness. But then that society was destroyed so much that mormon asked how they would avoid punishment. We live in that latter time, not unity. Our challenge is to lift and bless society as a whole. Demonstrated by ethnic harmony and an all inclusive doctrine. Unity and diversity are not opposites. All races and colors are children of god. Laws written in god's chosen land (US) were written by imperfect men, but inspired by god for equal treatment of all men. Remember that we were onced very opressed because we wanted to share jesus' love. If you are not united, you are not god's children. Gosple culture is greater than regional cultures. We honor pioneers because of their struggles.

Ronald A Rasband

Supplying the world with temples is a holy duty.

Sacred ordinaces lead to exaltation.

"Temples rise above the ways of the world. Every temple... stand as testaments to our faith and eternal life and the joy of spending it with our families and heavenly father. They increase understanding of the godhead and the everlasting gospel and commitment to live and teach truth and our willingness to follow the example of jesus."

I learned an important lesson while visiting my father in law as he was dying; that temple recommends are important, even while dying.

The worthiness interview "is not about do's and dont's. It is about finding your worthiness and to testify of your devotion to the gospel teachings."

(I stopped paying attention for a while.)

Hunter said his biggest desire was to have every member hold a temple recommend.

Come get yo rec's! "Whether you have access to a temple or not, it is still important to remain and prove your worthiness."

(I'm really struggling to pay attention to this guy and holy shit he stressed "be patient" while I was typing that.)

Dallin H Oaks

"The lord's teachings are for eternity and for all of god's children."

My examples will be US-centric, but I'm sure that the issues the US face are universal, right?

Destrucitve behavior in political statements are not good.

Remember that JC said to love your enemies. Contention is of the devil, not JC. It isn't easy. Seek and ye shall find the strength to love.

Follow the laws of man.

Nobody can make us angry, it is our choice to be angry.

(Reference to The King and I-) learn about other people's culture.

Don't participate in rioting.

Wait, he's supporting the first ammendement- oh, the stress here is on the word "peaceful". We must do better to end racism. But remember to be peaceful! No violence. Anarchy is evil. Lincoln said "there is no greivance that is a fit object of redress by mob law". It undermines individual rights, not protects.

The US was started by diverse people! We're inherintly diverse! Here's a diverse (british) example!

AFTERNOON SESSION

D Todd Christofferson

There's a 2030 sustainable development agreement thingy. It's got 17 goals including- no poverty, no hunger, quality education, gender equality, clean water and sanitation, and decent work. It is interesting and important.

More important is a sustainable society.

Two biblical examples: 1. The city of enoch. They were of one heart and one mind. 2. The 1st generations of nephites an lamanites. No envies nor strifes. No murders or lying. No happier people than them. Love thy neighbor. Every man seeking the interests of his neighbor. Virtues uphold these societies.

Then they became exceedingly wicked and millions died in wars amongst themselves.

"When people turn from a sense of accountability to god and begin to trust instead in the arm of flesh (?)", disaster lurks.

A good life is more important than a long life.

I'm so fucking blessed, so this really isn't a good topic for me, but here we are.

The light of christ is what uneducated people call a consience.

"When one has no higher god than himself, and seeks no greater good than satisfying his own appetites and preferences, the effects will be manifest in due course. A society, for example, in which individual consent is the only constraint on sexual activity is a society in decay. Adultery, promiscuity, elective abortion and out of wedlock births are but some of the bitter fruit that grow out of the immorality sanctioned by the sexual revolution." This leads to poverty and fatherless families, sometimes in multiple generations, and deficient education and mental destruction.

"Our joyous message is that there is a better way through god... (the core truths of this message are) god lives, he is the heavenly father of our spirits, that as a manifestation of his love, he's given us commandments that lead to a fullnes of joy with him, that JC is the son of god and our redeemer, that he suffered and died to atone for sins on condition of our repentance, that he rose from the dead, bringing to pass the resurrection of human kind, and that we will all stand before him to be judged."

Steven J Lund

My son had cancer. It was hard. He was in lots of pain, but still wanted to go to church even when his mom suggested he stay home. He knew he inspired others when they saw him there, representing the savior by willingly suffering to serve.

All youth programs are there to help them be more like JC.

They are surrounded by things that keep helping them do that, but they're still making mistakes, so parents and leaders need to step up (potterheads grab your wands).

Gerrit W Gong

Family of 10 is hated by neighbors, nobody likes them until their house burns down. Then they were showed kindness, hope, and understanding by their neighbors helping them.

"Our 2020 bicentenniel proclamation begins with the profoundly inclusive promise that god loves his children in every nation of the world. Each of us in every nation... god promises covenants, and invites us to come partake of his abundant joy and goodness. God's love for all people is affirmed throughout scripture that love encompasses the abrahamic covenent, gathering his scattered children, and his plan of happiness. In the house of faith, there are to be no strangers, no foreigners, no rich and poor, no outside others. As fellow citizens with the saints, we're invited to help the world for the better, from inside out; one person, one family, one neighborhood at a time. This happens when we share the gospel."

Church materials are available in many regions and languages. We're gonna focus on that for a while. (And I stopped paying attention again. This dude is boring af. And I have a high threshold for boring right now)

Talking about how members do charity work.

W Christopher Waddell

Some kid said it was the greatest day of his life to meet this guy who talks to the profit a couple of times a week. The story is given with the obvious topic of "we thank thee oh god for a prophet".

Prophets tell us to prepare for crisis.

We understand your struggles and want to express that there are better days ahead. Church leaders can help you.

The lord loves effort.

Have stores of food and money, but don't go to extremes in your efforts to establish those things.

We have a brochure on finances with quotes from people about how god will provide.

Remember Joseph in Egypt.

"All things are spiritual to the lord and not at any time has he given us a law which is temporal."

Manage your finances and have food storage.

Matthew S Holland

The feeling of Alma remembering his sins are as painful as passing a kidney stone (?!).

Repentance will bring us relief.

We have no idea how bad our suffering will be if we don't repent.

"Medical science, professional counseling or legal rectification can help alleviate such suffering but note, all good gifts including these, come from the savior. Regardless [of] the causes of our worst hurt or heartaches, the ultimate source of relief is the same: JC. He alone holds the full power and healing balm to correct every mistake, right every wrong, adjust every imperfection, mend every wound, and deliver every delayed blessing."

When you feel like nobody could understand your suffering, remember that jesus can.

"Suffering in righteousness helps qualify your for, rather than distinguishes you from, god's elect."

William K Jackson

An Indian dude didn't want to turn his back on his culture in order to convert with the rest of his family. But JC was able to open his eyes to a different viewpoint.

Our original culture is the culture of Adam and Enoch. It is the greatest of all cultures. There is no "us v them" mentality in the greatest of all cultures.

"We believe that we are responsible and accountable for ourselves, each other, the church, and our world. Faith in JC is the first principle of our culture, and obedience to his teachings and commandments is the outcome.”

“It is a culture of covenants and ordinances, high moral standards, sacrifice, forgiveness, repentance, and caring for the temple of our bodies. It is a culture of the preisthood, the authority to act in god's name, the power of god to bless his children. It edifies and enables individuals to be better people, leaders, mothers, fathers, and companions- and it sanctifies the home. In the culture of christ, women are elevated to their proper and eternal status. They are not subservient to men, as in many cultures in today's world, but full and equal partners here and in the world to come.”

“The family is the basic unit of eternity. The perfection of the family is worth any sacrifice" because, as has been taught, "no other success can compensate for failure in the home."

This culture is concerned with things of lasting worth.

It is inclusive, not exclusive.

"Because this culture results from the application of our savior's teachings, it helps provide a healing balm of which our world (cue crying) is in such desperate need. What a blessing it is to be a part of this grand and (voice wavering) *noble* way of life. The church is hardly a western society or an american cultural phenomenon. it is an international church, as it was always meant to be. New members from around the world bring richness, diversity, and excitement into our ever-growing family!" (hallelujah!)

Indian dude joined the church, of course.

"What a marvelous heritage (quiet sob) we all share!"

Dieter F Uchtdorf

Because of a threat from the US military, the SLC temple was buried during constrution. When the threat had passed, they excavated it and found that many stones in the foundation had cracked and were replaced. "Finally, the saints could sing How Firm a Foundation and know their holy temple was built on a foundation that would last for generations.”

“This story can teach us how god uses adversity to bring about his purposes." Which is an appropriate topic these days.

We mourn with those who have lost loved ones to covid.

"My message today is that even though this pandemic is not what we wanted or expected, god has prepared his children and his church for this time."

We will do more than survive, we will move forward and we will be better as a result.

We are like seeds that must be buried before they can sprout. "The love of god and blessing of the restored gospel of JC will bring something unimaginable to spring forth."

Hardships strengthen our character.

"What we learn from biblical examples? 1. The righteous are not given a free pass that allows them to avoid the valleys of shadow... 2. Our heavenly father knows that we suffer, and because we are his children, he will not abandon us..."

"Our best days are ahead of us, not behind us. This is why god gives us modern revelation."

(I stopped paying attention during an aviation allegory.)

Stories of new/potential converts going to appointments early because of excitement. "Our missionaries are busier than ever."

WOMEN'S SESSION

Sharon Eubank

Story of a kid rewarded with his favorite pie for doing chores. He was selfish when his sister asked if she and her friend could have some because they didn't earn it, but changed his mind later. This showed that he was willing to change and show kindness to those who didn't deserve it.

"By union of feeling, we obtain power with god."

I don't like this world. It sucks and I want to make it better and sometimes I feel powerless, but I have done lots of soul searching and have three suggestions.

1. Have mercy. Jacob 2:17, but replace the word "substance" with the word "mercy". We need more mercy in our ministering. "If you would have god have mercy on you, have mercy on each other."

2. Make your boat swing. Rowing definition: "swing" is when all are rowing in such perfect unison that not a single action is out of sync. Somehow, individuality is crucial to this; clones couldn't do it. "Differences can be turned to advantage instead of disadvantage." This makes you go fast and they won because of that.

3. Clear away the bad as fast as the good can grow. Jacob 5: good tree is planted in good ground but was corrupted. A servant asks that the tree be given another chance and then the tree grows good fruit. JC is like the owner of the vinyard, and gives us mercy, if we can give it to each other.

"I believe the change we seek in ourselves and in the groups we belong to will come less by activism and more by actively trying every day to understand one another" because we're building zion.

As women, we have broad influence to remove prejudice and build unity. "I offer this invitation: be part of a collective force that changes the world for good." We're supposed to help others. "The women of this church have the potential to change society."

Rebecca M Craven

(I... I can't focus on this woman long enough to piece together what the fuck she's saying. Sorry.)

I think the overall topic is changing yourself to atone/repent.

Cristina B Franco

This year has given us many surprises that have left us broken.

Personal story about getting a piano. One of the delivery guys slipped and broke it. The delivery guys went back to arrange the delivery of a new piano, but her husband asked if it could just be repaired instead. The manager said "the wood is broken, and once the wood is broken, it can never sound the same."

We are like the broken piano, feeling broken and that we'll never be the same again. "However, as we come unto JC by exercising faith in him, repenting, and making and keeping covenants, our brokenness, whatever it's cause, can be healed [by the savior's healing power to make us better than we were.]." Faith in god heals us.

Story of Alma where god promised to ease their burdens.

(Really long quote from Alma that she doesn't source).

The savior is a refuge from the storm.

(Is there a rule that women can't have more than 20% original content in their talks? What is with all the quotes from other people, with barely anything to make them relate to each other?)

THAT'S MY HIGH SCHOOL CHOIR TEACHER DIRECTING THE SEPT 2014 CHOIR!!!

Bonnie H Cordon

JC is the light and the life of the world; the light that shines in the darkness.

Shit's been hard these last few months, but we see you praying and working hard to seek out JC.

Video

Gloomy shit and then "inspiring/soothing" pics of JC, then those same gloomy people are shown being happy while doing normal, everyday stuff. Lots of black people to show diversity and even a deaf woman signing in a video chat on her phone. (It's driving me crazy that i can't remember the song that's playing.) Then back to a pic of JC.

Henry B Eyring

"Every day we are approaching closer to the glorious moment when the savior JC will come to earth again."

"As the beloved daughters of heavenly father, and as the daughters of the lord JC in his kingdom, you will play a crucial part in the grand times ahead."

Prepare to live as the people in the city of enoch did.

Another unsourced quote of "what will happen in this last dispensation of the fulness of times": (was that wording really necessary?) dark skies, earthquakes, etc, but chosen people will be fine. They'll all be gathered into one place (that we could... maybee.... do something to? jk. unless...?).

Women will be at the heart of creating that society.

Quotes about the importance of women and the relief society.

Quotes about how pure and faithful the city of Enoch was.

"My experience has taught me that heavenly father's daughters have a gift to allay contention and to promote righteousness with their love of god and with the love of god they engender in those they serve." (fuck you)

Seeing a household without a preisthood member gave me glimpse of zion because the women were supportive and loving.

Why is it Oaks again?

"In the world, ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, i have overcome the world."

Today, "we are also troubled on every side, and we also need that same message not to despair, but to be of good cheer."

JC knows your wants and fears.

"Be of good cheer."

Opposition is essential (anyone know of that musical 'my turn on earth' or am i just old? I've got 'opposition' stuck in my head).

Shit sucks right now. Covid and election shit, the election shit is bad "the most severe many of the oldest of us can ever remember." People are dealing with "the many adversities of mortality: poverty, racism, sickness, job loss, wayward children, bad/no marriages, and the effects of sin" but "be of good cheer." (broken record much?)

Poor JS had lots of adversities! But he still managed to "maintain his native cheery temperament and the love and loyalty of his people." The pioneers had it hard, too, but they still "were of hope and good cheer."

(If I heard this right) The orignal missionaries were sent out for up to 7 years.

The presidency loves you and cares about you and we pray for you (y'all should look up 'ill pray for you' by Jaron Lowenstein, btw. i promise it's hilarious).

"There is boundless power in the doctrine of the restored gospel of JC. Our unshakeable faith in that doctrine guides our steps and gives us joy. It enlightens our minds and gives strength and confidence to our actions. This guidance and enlightenment and power are promised gifts we have recieved from our heavenly father. By understanding and conforming our lives to that doctrine, including the divine gift of repentance, we can be of good cheer as we keep ourselves on the path of eternal destiny, reunion, and exaltation with our loving heavenly parents." (sidenote- I typed that quote really fast with very few mistakes and I'm very proud of myself. I'm sure I've never typed that fast and correctly in my life.)

Russel M Nelson

Shit's been hard and different than normal.

We greive with the women who have experienced loss.

Social media is evil for young women, but "many of you have found ways to encourage others and share our savior's light."

The future gonna be lit, yo.

"If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear."

"Moroni prepared his people in three essential ways:”

“1. He helped them create areas where they would be safe; places of security, he called them.” "Create a home that is a place of security."

“2. He prepared the minds of the people to be faithful unto the lord.” "Each time we have the faith to be obedient to god's laws, even when popular opinions belittle us, or each time we resist entertainment or ideaologies that celebrate covenant breaking, we are exercising our faith, which in turn increases our faith." "Life without god is a life filled with fear. Life with god is a life filled with peace."

“3. He never stopped preparing his people; physically or spiritually." "The adversary never stops attacking, so we can never stop preparing. The more self-reliant we are, temporally, emotionally, and spiritually, the more prepared we are to thwart satan's relentless assualts."

"We have so much to look forward to. The lord placed you here, now, because he knew you had the capacity to negotiate the complexities of the latter part of these latter days. He knew you would grasp the grandeur of his work and be eager to help bring it to pass. I am not saying that the days ahead will be easy, but I promise you that the future will be glorious for those who are prepared, and those who continue to prepare to be instruments in the lord's hands."

"Embrace the future with faith."

#exmo #ex-mormon #apostake #exmormon #mine #ex mormon #exchristian #ex christian #excult #cult stuff #exlds #ex lds #former mormon #ex religious #agnostic #gc october 2020 #gc summary

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utterlyhopeful-fics · 4 years

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Rise Above

Soooo I’ve been OBSESSING over the Witcher series (and currently reading Book 2 in my off time). I can’t seem to get Geralt out of my head and I basically ran out of fics to read/ patiently awaiting updates, so I let my imagination flow with this one.

It’s going to be a multi-fic with the first three chapters completed and too many ideas brewing. I’m thinking of posting weekly (every Sunday) if there is interest? Please let me know what you think! All feedback is greatly appreciated. I’m also finishing up some Mayan stories because the fandom needs some extra love.

Masterlist

Geralt of Rivia x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: slight man bashing, language

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Since early adolescence mother always cautioned of the intrepid bewilderments and betrayals men were guilty of alluding to. Their mortal trickeries and wickedness so elegantly aimed to prey upon their next doe-eyed victim patiently awaiting. Mother also taught her to never succumb to their predatorial tendencies without a fight. For this made Y/N swear to never become what others around her so willingly yielded to, and that was a promise she intended to uphold until her last untimely breath. Even against her worst nightmares, Y/N would willingly glower straight into death’s mischievously hollowed eyes than ever give a man a sliver of power over her very existence especially without her consent. Her mother made sure of that.

Y/N reigned from the bountiful lands of Temeria. Plentiful on unharvested acreages and majority of kind folk. Her livelihood rotated between feeding livestock, sharpening blades, tending to her colorful harvested gardens, and riding her beloved stallion, Mr. Darcy among many other hobbies that encapsulated her attention. Days blended into months as Y/N kept with her daily chores watching in discomfort as her mother pretended their lives weren’t about to be upended in numerous ways. Even the mere existence of magic couldn’t make undeniable ailments evaporate. Humans were a multifaceted bag of bones; mages were an untouchable species still yet to perfect their untapped capabilities. Y/N wasn’t too keen on categorizing herself hence her importance of isolation. Her once radiant mama rapidly dissolved into emaciation, staying presently beside Y/N for a moment’s more of honest love.

“Do not let fear grip its’ treacherous claws into you. For I know the searing pain of losing a beloved.” A ragged gasp slipped her lips as she ventured on, her words choppy. “I spent a good amounts time wallowing. Misery is an old friend. And its occasional deviousness ruses you sometimes into thinking that its constant companionship will remain and that one is unable to attain blissful happiness. But you can, you can walk away from pain. Never forget your choices, my love.”

“You have my word, forever and beyond. I will live in your image.”

Her bones progressively weakened as many sleepless nights withered into dusk; her skin once glowed with the light of a thousand suns now had a clammy-cool manifestation. Y/N refused to acknowledge the painful jab that infiltrated her deceitful senses, so she stayed the course and masked her outlandish emotions. Now wasn’t the time for pity. But her one solace and comfort were the freedom and exhilaration her morning rides brought to her burdened soul. It was in these hushed moments of tranquility she could actually feel the fresh air maneuver throughout the entirety of her body, engulfing her lungs in a welcoming burn. He truly was a beauty to behold. Y/N couldn’t help but notice how the flitter of his silver mane reflected upon a summer’s day or the thickening of his luscious coats preparing for a long winter. When her loneliest moments fleetingly caught up to her, she was never sincerely lonesome.

Old wives’ tales voiced intricately woven fantasies of princesses awaiting their rescuers in decaying castles merely passing time as their hair grew longer in confinement. Y/N recollected eavesdropping upon the town baker’s inviting stories by the ages of nine, quests chockfull of bravery and resolution, doubt beginning to flood her veins. Another story, another vapid man to ‘save’ the day. She could barely hide the chuckle that fell off her lips when she dare glance at the girls lost in tragic intrigue. One tale in specific resided in her childish memory; painting a certain princess that captured the eye of a handsome knight all within the shadows of her forbidden fortress. His velvety voice promising her everything her heart was trained to desire, all she simply had to obey was his one command; to throw down her beautifully kept hair in order for her release to occur. Why were women forced to choose and best be timely in such a life altering circumstance? Y/N wondered if the Princess truly desired to be set free from her silent haven.

Like clockwork, Y/N left the bakery in disarray all while quietly venting underneath her breath. The fable lived on for centuries later as all the women in her village maintained their perfectly kept long locks as long as the Gods allowed. From that moment on, Y/N kept her silky blue hair shoulder length and out of the way. Her mother should have named her rebellion by her mannerisms and ideals alone but deep inside her cavernous belly, she carried great pride of her kin, knowing she wasn’t graced with a foolish daughter as far back when she was safely in the warmth of her womb.

Y/N was brazenly gorgeous with a fierce lioness temperament that left men thirsting at her feet, but she merely wasn’t interested in what any suitor had to offer no matter the amount of gold, land, or riches. She was satisfied with little for her happiness to flourish. Her athletic build aided her in this strenuous life asking for no help and receiving none was her personal policy. Her lineage solidified their strength. Hushed whispers from townsfolk accursed them to witches but they had no humanly conception of the power that laid within their own bloodlines. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop men’s gazes upon the beautiful duo.

Y/N had received no official training as mages were accustomed to but her mother put her faith wholly into her only living daughter. By five, Y/N was capable of complex charms and potions her mother had never laid witness to and for this simply delighted her. Y/N recognized that magic was a tedious give and take, an equal force of dynamics in order to maintain nature’s balance and in secret, she efficaciously thrived. Magic was an underlining necessity that Y/N made sure to never abuse in her favor no matter the situation. She was born and bred with a ferocious vigor and damned be the day she would allow her abilities to do her heavy lifting. Blood, sweat, and tears was her silver lining and Y/N be damned if that was ever taken away from her. She was always a compulsive pessimist, always looking for the soft brown spot in the fruit, pressing so hard she created it. She excelled in the art of secrecy always staying perfectly out of reach even to the woman who adored her completely.

Her mother’s passing hardened her seemingly aloof heart or so she was told. Memories do not always soften with time; some grow vicious edges like knives. Some hearts will forever understand each other whether death’s door stand in their way or not. Curiously, she didn’t remember when she became exhausted. She didn’t remember when exhausted was no longer exhausted, it just was. The tiredness was in her hardened bones and she accepted this state of being bogged down in apathy. Though through her mountainous misery, goodness could often be found residing in the middle of hell.

Trapped in the comfortability of mundane routine, Y/N fantasized about a journey brimmed with mischief and riddled adventure, but little did she know the Gods were listening to her every whim. Fate and destiny happily intertwined. Over a period, her dreams grew consistently worrisome; haunted by an attractive man with hair the color of the moon, hypnotically golden orbs aside his more than chiseled features. If she were to extend her arm his way, he was just barely out of reach and oh, how she desired for a simple touch; to know what stood in front of her was reality or foolishness.

What really unnerved her was the repeatedly jumbled words almost as if the man were submerged under harsh waters. His eyes relayed urgency that Y/N couldn’t quite decipher, not quite yet. With every vision entangling itself profoundly into the corridors of her singular subconscious, Y/N was further entranced by the strange gentleman she was graced with every night fall whether by coincidence or curse. And as he groggily faded into oblivion, Y/N had never slept so soundlessly in her entire existence.

#geralt x reader #geralt of rivia x reader #rise above #my writing #the witcher #series #geralt imagine #the witcher netflix #geralt x y/n #geralt of rivia x y/n #witcher fanfiction #fanfic #geralt of rivia #witcher #henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #reader fic

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thedaemonn · 4 years

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Venus/Lucifer

"You may be wondering at this point why I keep referring to the Lord of the Demons, Lucifer, as Venus. This is because of one: the broad spectrum the title Lucifer now falls under, and my personal significance of the name as I see it. And two: stripping down the many names of a demon to the most prominent of their nature has a certain ambience of power to it, such as my use of Elegel over N when my point is more intrusive.

The name Venus may be recognized as the second planet from the sun and the name of the Roman goddess encompassing femininity and beauty, yet this name also more formally means “beloved, or the most loved one”, as well as “Morning Star”, as it is the first light to own the sky in procession of the descending moon. In Hebrew this morning star was referred to as Helel, which means Venus, “light-bringer” and “shining one”, which was a translation of the Greek word φωσφόρος, meaning Lucifer. This is then seen in the Hebrew bible when speaking of Satan (the Devil). Though this word was not always used in reference to the fallen angel himself, as there are several uses of the term in various verses not pertaining to evil, even once in use in description of the son of God. Therefore, this name was used to portray the significance of Lucifer to God as his most loved angel.

This name for me holds more to the meaning of what Lucifer once stood for, and his poise in the significance of his rebellion. The name Lucifer is used as his angelic form before his fall, which he is then called Satan, the Devil, the Serpent, etcetera, etcetera, but is still used by the more sophisticated occultists to maintain his presence as a being of great beauty and power. I also believe Lucifer is used by those in symbolism of their belief he did no wrong, the belief in which Lucifer granted man the ability to sin, and with it the freedoms of the earth, this particular faith is known as Luciferianism.

Whether Lucifer is the head of the hierarchies of hell, or merely honored for his instigation to the fall of one third of heavenly hosts, he is by no means an insignificant body in the masses of evil versus good, he is the symbol of rebellion, the mark of the beast, the very opposition to morality and religion. I believe Lucifer in extremely intelligent and well carried demon, and I prefer the use of the title Venus to promote his importance in his time in the heavens as one of the most beautiful and most loved angels by God. - And perhaps God loved him for his rebellious nature, and though wept over the inevitability of man’s fall from grace through him, adored his uniqueness against the hoards of loyal angels. Imagine crafting a creature so magnificent they surpass your very outlines of laws, they grow through your gift so profoundly that they become your very intentional, unintentional, flaw in the making of creation.

The use of the name Lucifer has become entangled with the images of idiocy and mockery, and though the name is rather beautiful, the conjured thought of the name brings about such a plethora of possibilities, it renders an almost impossible way to determine one’s exact views on him. Thus, Venus is the name most suited to my own cause, as it defines beauty and poise and manifests the ideals of a godlike deity, to which he represents himself as such to his devils and to humanity, though perhaps we have done that all by ourselves and all he must do is sit back and admire cause and effect.

Venus, the most beloved morning star, the most high and beautiful encompassment of rebellion, whichever name he is called by he remains the same; he harbored evil in his heart before and after the fall of the angels, therefore I see no reason for the promotion of his supposed monstrous nature stemming from his time on earth, this is subject to the lesser and more feverishly tempered demons of hell. He knew his outcome, he gained his most desired throne, that of governing mankind."

Excerpt from my extended work

Picture: The Daemon Vine, my artwork

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firstumcschenectady · 3 years

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“On Being Pruned” based on 1 John 4:7-21 and John 15:1-8

While I was in college I lead a group of new freshman on an outdoor adventure trip. We were assigned to trail maintenance in a very remote part of Northern New Hampshire. It was a beautiful place and a wonderful trip, but it turns out that a lot of trail maintance is actually killing small trees so that they don't grown on the trail and I really deeply hated that. No matter how many times I reminded myself that by maintaining the trail and giving people a chance to experience that pristine wilderness I was PROTECTING most of the trees, I still felt uncomfortable with each one I killed.

Similarly, I'm not particularly good at pruning. I'm so afraid of going too far that I don't go far enough. It would be enjoyable to claim that this is related to the value, “don't hurt living things unless you have to” but that fails to notice that things you prune are things that NEED pruning. Pruning is a source of abundant life.

According to Gospel commentaries, grapevines are things that need pruning. The Five Gospels says, “Vines do not have branches, contrary to popular usage, but 'canes.' Each year canes are snipped from the vines and piled in the vineyard to be burned. … The vines will not bear good fruit, or fruit in abundance, if they are not pruned annually.”1 The metaphor loving writer of the Gospel of John suggests this is true of the followers of the way of Jesus as well. We too need regular pruning to “bear fruit.”

I suspect many of us feel similarly about pruning ourselves as I do about pruning any other living thing. It is uncomfortable, it is done with caution, we don't want to go to far. And that means that often we don't prune quite far enough.

This may feel like an unfortunate time to come across this Gospel, because the impact of the pandemic has been a desire to return to “normal” and profound objections to the ways our lives have been “pruned” from the outside beyond our control. But here is the Gospel anyway, and when we're honest we note that even this awful pruning has had SOME silver linings.

Now, in John's metaphor, God is the gardener, and God is the one doing the pruning. We are fairly passive to the pruning. We are definitely NOT in charge of self-pruning. :) Phew. Likewise, we are not in charge of fruit production. Fruit comes from being connected to Jesus, and well pruned by God, and we are mostly PASSIVE fruit bearers. Fruit or lack there of isn't really our fault. We are tended, rooted, and pruned to be the best fruit bearers we can be, and we can simply BE and God's goodness will work through us.

Nice.

While I think that idea is incomplete, I also think it is one worthy of consideration.

Many of us TRY REALLY HARD ALL THE TIME, and this suggests that we can let go and God's goodness will keep flowing. That is an important truth, if incomplete.

So if God is the gardener and the pruner, then who are we when we resist pruning? I suspect that we are vine “canes” that are holding on for dear life to canes that have already been snipped and berating ourselves that we can't bring them back to life. There are these dead, decaying branches and we're holding them in place willing them to grow again, and in doing so, missing the new life springing up within us.

Several years ago I watched a TED talk by Dan Gilbert, a psychology professor at Harvard entitled “The Psychology of Your Future Self.” Gilbert's ideas have stayed with me ever since. He opens his talk by saying:

At every stage of our lives we make decisions that will profoundly influence the lives of the people we're going to become, and then when we become those people, we're not always thrilled with the decisions we made. So young people pay good money to get tattoos removed that teenagers paid good money to get. Middle-aged people rushed to divorce people who young adults rushed to marry. Older adults work hard to lose what middle-aged adults worked hard to gain. On and on and on. The question is, as a psychologist, that fascinates me is, why do we make decisions that our future selves so often regret?

I'm hoping you already see how this relates to letting God's pruning without fighting it! He states his thesis directly (don't you love that?), “What I want to convince you today is that all of us are walking around with an illusion, an illusion that history, our personal history, has just come to an end, that we have just recently become the people that we were always meant to be and will be for the rest of our lives. “ As you might hope, Gilbert proves this point along the way, and then goes on to conclude:

Most of us can remember who we were 10 years ago, but we find it hard to imagine who we're going to be, and then we mistakenly think that because it's hard to imagine, it's not likely to happen. ...when people say "I can't imagine that," they're usually talking about their own lack of imagination, and not about the unlikelihood of the event that they're describing.

The bottom line is, time is a powerful force. It transforms our preferences. It reshapes our values. It alters our personalities. We seem to appreciate this fact, but only in retrospect. Only when we look backwards do we realize how much change happens in a decade. It's as if, for most of us, the present is a magic time. It's a watershed on the timeline. It's the moment at which we finally become ourselves. Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you've ever been. The one constant in our life is change. 2

That is, pruning happens whether we want it to or not, and either we can make peace with it and let it be, or we can fight with it, but it won't change the fact that things change.

While I prefer it when I can read it with some verses missing, 1 John 4 is a very important chapter in the Bible for most people I know because it says the thing they believe most, “God is love.” It says it strongly too, “No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and God's love is perfected in us. ...Those who say, "I love God," and hate their siblings, are liars; for those who do not love a sibling whom they have seen,

cannot love God whom they have not seen.” (11, 20). Perhaps this fits the idea that loving God and loving other people are two sides of the same coin, inseparable though they can appear to be different. These claims about God, that God is love, and that loving people is a way of loving God, are the lens through which I see the entirety of the Bible. I remain grateful that it is there, and available to be used.

John chapter 15 goes on to sound a whole lot like 1 John 4. The Vine and Branches metaphor morphs quickly to point out that the fruit that God is looking for is the practice of abiding in love. So both of them point the question: what impairs love and what encourages it? If we are being continually pruned by God, what helps us let go of what we're done with, and what helps us connect with what God is up to next? Or, in the metaphor, how do we let go of the pruned and dead branches so there is space for new growth?

Perhaps the best thing we can do for now is notice. We can notice what has been pruned, so we can let it go and we can notice what is growing so we can watch it growing. Perhaps this passage is exactly right for right now. We aren't the gardener, we aren't in charge, but we can – at least – stop impeding the Gardener's work and instead notice what it is.May it be so. Amen

1 Robert W. Funk, Roy W Hoover, and The Jesus Seminar, The Five Gospels: The Search for the Authentic Words of Jesus (HarperOneUSA, 1993), page 453.

2 Dan Gilbert, “The Psychology of Your Future Self” Ted Talk, found at https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_the_psychology_of_your_future_self/transcript?utm_campaign=social&utm_content=talk&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_term=soci al-science#t-308201 given on March 2014 accessed on April 29, 2021.

#Thinking Church #Progressive Christianity #FUMC Schenectady #Schenectay #UMC #Sorry about that homophobic UM #Rev Sara E Baron #Johannine community #God Is Love #Faith Statement #Easter Season #Pruning #Just be the branches #Notice

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imagine-loki · 5 years

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Morning Coffee

TITLE: Morning Coffee

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: One Shot

AUTHOR: @marvelgirlonamarvelworld (side blog)

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki hangover after a night out. Through his desperate search for a remedy to ease his headache, he finally gives in to try a cup of ‘Midgard’s delight’ as Thor likes to refer to a cup of coffee.

RATING: T+

NOTES/WARNINGS: none, just some slight mentions of smut, language, a little fluff. It’s def SFW.

A/N: Not a new TWMA chapter. Sorry, :/ don’t wanna complain and bore you guys, BUT I did manage to write this little something at the last minute! :D hope you all like it. Feedback’s always appreciated!!!!

—

Loki’s not himself when the sun rises. He never is.

Though who is ever its own person when the rays of the king star grace the lands? Nobody. Truly.

That’s just how things are. Mornings are a rather tedious thing. Especially for night owls like the god of lies, whose stormy clouds proceed his usual emerald twinkling glare.

Flashes of neon and sparkle came and went, as he dragged his feet through the place.

His mind was an aching haze.

“Lokes!” Tony hooted from across the kitchen as the groggy raven-haired stepped into the luxurious space. Bright white lights glared back and sunk into his irritated eyes. “The life of the party! Had your fair share of fun last night on the dance floor huh?”

A growl rumbled in Loki’s throat as he glared the billionaire Avenger. Desires and ideas to obliterate that sneer from his idiotic face were yet to wither from his aching head.

Yet he abstained from carrying them out. His brain was pounding way too violently against his skull, and Loki feared it would only worsen if he went about it. It wasn’t worth it.

Perhaps later.

Life of the party. Sure thing he’d loosened himself a bit...too much. Though the sex right after was the best, and the only thing he did not regret.

“Brother!” Thor greeted and huskily placed his palm on his shoulder. “Told you it’d be fun to try Midgardian customs!” The blond shook his shoulder and Loki could swear his bones rattled and broke under his careless touch. The bright smile on his face only blinded his eyes ever more as it worsened his mood just as much. “Have you prepared for our morning spar?”

Morning spar?! Loki groaned and briskly stepped away from his brother. Who did he think he was?! Even gods needed a day to lay back!

“Witless idiot,” Loki spat in a whisper as his hands pulled open the refrigerator and rummaged for a meal worthy of a deity such as him.

Ah, yes. The god of lies loathed mornings as much as he abhorred every single individual inside the tower.

“Even me?” A sweet velvet voice questioned from behind.

His eyes rapidly darted from the mouthwatering delights as rays of background light began to swirl in his eyes.

Solid ground had become unsteady quicksand.

Gripping the side counter and closing his eyes momentarily, Loki steadied himself before the urges to vomit overwhelmed him any further.

It was a big mistake, a ginormous error to have given in to her and Thor’s persuasive bickering the night before. A dire slip to have indulged in the thousand-year-old mead Thor had smuggled to the party. For if he’d been told this would be the outcome of feeling alive once more, then he would’ve profoundly said no.

Gulping, Loki opened his eyes and was met a feminine figure. Ah, his beloved mind-reader. The avenger who everyone feared and respected.

“Darling...” his face contorted as the bloodcurdling headache heightened. Two of his fingers were quickly pressed against his aching temple as all sounds amplified deafeningly. “Could you please lower your voice? We’re not in a circus for Valhalla’s sake!”

“That bad?” She acknowledged and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

The sly grin plastered on her face irritated Loki evermore. And a growl vibrated in his chest. For although he enjoyed her constant teasing and belittles, his exhausted mind dreaded it as much as it annoyed him.

Yet Loki couldn’t help but remember her sultry body swaying under tainting neon rays and blasting beats. Could still picture how that feline glare of hers, after the intoxicating mead had made its way through his veins, flustered his heart as it hazed it all away. Oh, and her smile and tender skin casting glimmers against the dim throbs of light as his palms slithered through her tender figure and rested on her hips...if to only re-live that again, then he’d say yes to another crazed night.

“I think this should become a regular end of the week thing before everyone goes their own way,” she teased as she acknowledged the other avengers, who were cradling mugs of steaming coffee between their palms.

Their unison hums of approval and glinting eyes were screeching hits to his aching head. The mere thought of another wild evening made his head swim as his palate was overwhelmed by last night's wild times.

“I know the guy who owns the club,” Tony chimed in as he gestured, “he owns me quite a few favors. Doubt he’ll say no to a couple VIP passes for earth’s mightiest heroes.”

Loki grimaced at the billionaire but remained silent. The word mighty did not even reach his feet! Stark was a slob! A hedonist idiot who would rather spend his days between naked sweaty bodies than making a clean name for himself!

Were Midgardian people always this self-centered and leisure driven? The raven-haired wondered as his eyes hovered to the hermit man with the bionic arm.

“You still got that mead?” Bucky made a head gesture to the blond god of thunder as he added to the conversation.

He better not, Loki hoped.

Thor reclined back on the chair as it slightly creaked at his godly weight, and crossed his arms. “Oh, there is plenty! Blessed it be Hymir’s cauldron, for there is and will always be enough mead to sustain plenty Midgardian feasts!”

Oh, Norns...

Loki’s face paled and then reddened at the mention of the gigantic stolen relic from the king at the edge of the world sea. His knuckles whitened as the clutch on the marble hardened and groaned in disgust.

“What do you think, Loki?” The girl asked with innocent eyes. “Like the idea?”

If he liked the idea?! Loki’s eyes widened at her cynical question.

Of course, he did not like the idea!

He abhorred it with all his twisting guts and desires to throw up!

“I believe there’s no need for me to vocalize my opinion,” Loki snarled as he turned back to the refrigerator and closed it shut. “Why don’t you read my head, my dear mind intruder. See if my answer is pleasing enough.”

“Alright, I think I’ve watched you suffer enough,” Tony stood up from his chair and approached the hangover god. “What you need, is one of my specialty espressos.”

Loki’s face contorted at the mention of the caffeinated drink. Yet he was a tad bit amuses as well. For he’d seen his beloved mind-reader indulge in one of his drinks after a night of wild celebrating, and by the time the clock chimed ten in the morning, she was as good as new.

“Yeah, make that face now,” Tony pointed out as he grabbed a mug from the cabinet, “but your godly ass is gonna beg me for another after the first. Even your brother loves my espressos.” Tony stated as he began to prepare the warm drink. “Because there is no, and let me stress it enough, there is NO soul, not a single human being or intergalactic mythological god, that will refuse my coffee. Not even you, reindeer games.”

Loki painstakingly rolled his eyes while the avengers watched with snickering grins as Tony handed him his warm drink. “Drink up.”

Loki held the tiny mug with one hand as expectant eyes bore onto him. His annoyance and little patience caved into his throbbing head which pleaded for a remedy to diminish the ache. Anything would do the trick.

But Loki was a selfish-proud being.

“I will not drink your idiotic concoction,” Loki spat.

“Aw come on,” she said. “Just one sip.”

“It is disgusting, dear. Just look at it!”

“You have not tried it yet, brother,” Thor retorted.

“And I will not,” Loki deadpanned.

Silence prevailed as Thor smirked and glance to his teammates who had an equal reflection, understanding what the blond was about to say.

“Well, I thought you were one for risks, brother,” Asgard’s golden child bellowed calmly. “Have you not said, brother, you loved to take risks. Try new things.” Thor said with false disdain. “It seems I was mistaken to think you a brave warrior.”

As fast as Thor finished speaking, Loki’s head snapped and glared at his brother wishing his piercing eyes had the ability to murder idiots on the spot. And Tony couldn’t help but bite his tongue and turn his head to hold the snort threatening to escape his throat.

“Are you calling me a chicken?” the trickster barked and stiffened his jaw, as he ignored everyone’s wide eyes and slack mouths in surprise.

Thor clasped his hands on the table and smiled sheepishly. “Perhaps I am...brother.”

“Oh shit!” Sam hollered as he fisted his hand and pressed it against his mouth. “Nah, he didn’t...”

Tension clasped and strangled the proud trickster god as he and his brother continued to bicker non-stop. They were no gods but young souls.

Thor and Loki were children again. Calling each other names and pressing each other’s buttons till one pulled too hard from the string. For a brief moment, their surroundings had diminished and things were as they used to be. As Loki wished it had stayed and as Thor did as well.

“I am no chicken, you oaf,” Loki insulted as Thor grinned playfully.

For it was the humiliation that twisted his arm as he never broke eye contact and gulped the bittersweet drink before he rushed to the sink and spit the content.

“Norns...” his face contorted. The headache worsened.

Entertained eyes stared as the god of lies muttered under his breath while he wiped his mouth and walked away. And silenced dawned again as Tony blinked and tilted his head. “Well, that hurt my feelings.”

“He liked it.” Assured the girl. “Don’t worry.”

“What do you mean he liked it?” Sam chided. “He literally spit it all out.”

“Loki...he’s Loki,” Thor acknowledged, agreeing with his brother’s significant other. “Always fond of the theatrics.”

“You read his mind didn’t you?” Steve chastised.

All eyes were fixed on the girl who raised her shoulders nonchalantly. For she had indeed. She couldn’t help it.

Later that day.

Skulking through the halls, the silent god of lies continued to glance back and forth as he reached the entrance of the kitchen.

He had lied. Though he was allowed to, his seldom and image were precious and invaluable. He was the creator of deceit after all.

But Loki would never admit it out loud. He would never accept how the dulcet creamy taste of almonds danced on his tongue. And oh that bittersweetness fading in and merging along...Loki tasted paradise from that mug.

That slight taste of caffeine was Valhalla to his sophisticated palate.

Now he understood why his brother spoke grandeur of Midgardian coffee.

Loki rummaged through the kitchen and found the praised coffee maker Stark treasured. Though he was clueless as to how to operate it.

Quickly thinking and weighing his options, Loki came to the conclusion: asking Stark was not an option, and calling his nosy butler would only have the same repercussions.

To even imagine he’d asked, the resounding ‘I told you so’s’ deafened his ears.

“I told you you’d like my coffee.” Tony’s voice echoed in the silent kitchen.

Loki froze in place and fisted his hands. He realized admittance was unavoidable now. He was caught more than red-handed.

“Like what?” Loki asked after turning around, his hands remaining behind his back. “Perhaps you’d like to be more specific.”

“My espressos,” Tony said nonchalantly as he stood beside the trickster, and placed a mug under the machine.

Loki narrowed his eyes and chuckled airily, “My, then whoever told you such lie most have felt utterly sorry for you.”

“Did you just call me a liar,” an all-too-familiar voice drew their attention, and his eyes were met by a playful stare. It was his mind-reader.

Rapidly his face softened and glanced at her apologetically, “I would never.”

“Sounded to me like you did,” Tony commented.

“Stark,” Loki flashed the billionaire, and now barista, a furtive glare.

Loki watched as the girl rolled her eyes and chuckled while she placed her palms on his broad chest. There was no need to say how beautifully intrusive she was, for she already knew.

That bright smile and those bared teeth spoke for her so.

“Ok, here it is you two,” Tony handed the couple two steaming mugs before ushering out with a grin plastered on his face. “Told you you’d come back. Everybody does. Because nobody dislikes my drinks.“

#Submitted one shot #God of Mischief #Lover #Others #Loki #submission #morning coffee #marvelgirlonamarvelworld

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troybeecham · 4 years

Text

Fr. Troy Beecham

A Sermon, Proper 8A, 2020

Have you noticed how often a Jesus uses juxtaposition and logical contradiction in his teaching? Here are a few samples of what I mean:

• the last shall be first

• lose your life to find it

• the servant is the highest position in God’s kingdom

• the Son of Man came to serve, not to be served

These sayings of Jesus, along with the whole trajectory of his life, are a lesson in contrasting the life of faith versus the life of logic and strategy that we are shaped by through our families and cultures. The life of faith is not non-sensical; rather, it requires a complete resetting of our senses, a wholesale reorienting of our thinking and desiring, a culture that is profoundly different from the cultures of this fallen world. Jesus calls it being born again, being born from above, being born of the Holy Spirit. We have to unlearn all that we have been taught by our cultures, our philosophies, and even our families, an unlearning which will cause us to stand out, stand apart, even seem alien by those who knew us before faith blossomed in our souls. And the consequences are real.

Jesus has been teaching us the last three Sundays what it costs to be his disciple, what it costs to follow him - he even compares it to daily taking up our cross, to carry the instrument of our own earthly death wherever we go. He’s not asking for much, is he?! But he is not asking for more than what he himself gave, and he has sent the Holy Spirit to empower us to truly be his disciples, if we will allow the Holy Spirit to do his work in our lives - creating us anew, making the impossible possible, making us babes once again ready to be shaped by the love of the Father.

This path to being born again is like becoming an empty vessel so that God can pour life and love into us, filling us up to overflowing with the life of his kingdom, a kingdom that operates by rules that make no sense to the earthly mind.

Todays readings introduce us, suddenly and strikingly, to ways in which earthly senses and opinions are not only unable to deliver to us the life of his heavenly kingdom but also leave us confused about God’s desires for us.

In the first reading, Abraham hears God say “Bring your son and come to the mountain to make sacrifice and worship me.” Because he is still thinking in the logic of his culture and age, he hears God say “Bring your son to sacrifice him” because child sacrifice was common among the people of his culture and age of the world. It a terrifying, dark tale, we watch with horror as Abraham struggles with the faith that had taken hold of his soul and the darkened, earthly logic of his mind, which were warring with each other. In a last moment intervention, seeing that Abraham’s mind is still rooted in his culture so much so that he could think that God demands human sacrifice, God sends an angel to physically restrain Abraham and point out that God has provided a ram that was only steps away, but which Abraham couldn’t see through the blinders of his worldview. It is interesting to note that God never again speaks directly with Abraham again, but only through intermediaries on the spot to keep Abraham from so frighteningly misunderstanding him.

The only sacrifice that God desires and accepts is the willing sacrifice we make of ourselves as living sacrifices, becoming living, born again witnesses to the life of his kingdom, a witness that will mark us out as different, strange and dangerous, even. No wonder it is so hard for us to willingly choose the path of Jesus!

How often has “Christian culture”, individual Christians, and the Church as a whole made the mistake of Abraham because we have only yielded part of our souls to God, resisting the painful, wholesale, but absolute necessary process of being born again take place? Too many! And still the call remains from Jesus that we must be born again, completely born anew, a complete conversion of spirit and mind so that we can truly hear God and, by the power of the Holy Spirit, follow Jesus.

St. Paul writes to the Church in Rome in the second reading, pointing out just how hard it is to be born again. We are held captive to sin, to our passions and desires, to the value systems our our various cultures. We are held in slavery that only the Holy Spirit can change. Our only hope for true and lasting spiritual freedom is a two edged sword: we are born again and free to embody the desires of God, but this freedom separates us permanently from the modes of thinking impressed upon us by human and family cultures. With our natural minds we can see the chains of our bondage on full display at this moment in American history, and the rage we feel at seeing our chains. But our solutions are all based within the same culture that put us in chains! Our only hope, our only path to freedom is paradoxically to choose to die to the world and to be born again in Jesus to the culture of God’s heavenly kingdom. And the world will not congratulate us for our true freedom! Rather, our families and neighbors will either find us moldy confusing or dangerously subversive, and drive us out for not taking up the weapons of the age with them.

In the Gospel reading, Jesus promises us that we will be welcomed in the world with the same measure that any culture, family, or individual knows how to make for someone who is no longer bound by the chains they themselves either feel only vaguely or which they feel most brutally. It is a risky thing to become a living sacrifice in Jesus, to be born again, because it sets us adrift relative to the value systems of the world, especially if we are following our vocation as disciples of Jesus, going from person to person, family to family, town to town, nation to nation proclaiming the Gospel!

Yet this is our calling, our vocation as disciples of Jesus. There’s no way to soften the reality. We have tried for two thousand years to short sell the Gospel, to make it less life altering, to not become such aliens in this fallen world. We want to be nice, to work within the systems that give us privilege without having to actually take up the cross and carry it with us wherever we go - a stark sign to all who see it of the cost of freedom. Yet no matter how we try to explain it away and neuter its content, it still means what it says. Losing our life is the only way to find it. Letting go is the only way to be held securely in the bosom of God. Willingly becoming an alien is the only way to find our home and true citizenship in the kingdom of God.

May God pour out his Holy Spirit into each of us through his Son Jesus, our Risen Savior, to see us truly free and make us born again, for we surely cannot do it on our own.

Almighty God, you have built your Church upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief cornerstone: Grant us so to be joined together in unity of spirit by their teaching, that we may be made a holy temple acceptable to you; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.

Amen.

#father troy beecham #christianity #troy beecham episcopal #jesus #father troy beecham episcopal #saints #god #salvation #peace

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years

Text

05/26/2020 DAB Transcript

2 Samuel 9:1-11:27, John 15:1-27, Psalms 119:49-64, Proverbs 16:1-3

Today is May 26th welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we continue through this final full week of this 5th month of the year. It is wonderful to be around the Global Campfire together and just know no matter what's happening we are not alone. We are in this together. We always have been and here we are now together, allowing God's word to come into our lives for today. So, we’re reading from the English Standard Version this week and continuing our journey through second Samuel. David, this little shepherd boy who became famous for killing a giant and then had to run for his life and grow up really fast and sort of live as a national hero, unwittingly, and has…has arisen to become the king of all Israel. And, so, we’re kind of moving through a patch where we’re…we’re understanding his reign. He is now the full-blown king of Israel. So, today, second Samuel chapters 9, 10, and 11.

Commentary:

Okay. So, Jesus is having a really moving, very profound conversation with His friends and this is obviously before He moves into His time of suffering. And, so, it's a very, very intimate conversation that's happening. And what He's telling them is that that they need to abide in Him, to remain in Him, to stay in it. And the example that He uses is of a vine and branches. So, we can of a vine, we can think of a tree, we can think of branches that come out from that tree and we can say that we, you know, we know like if you go to cut the branch off the tree the branch is gonna die because it is disconnected from its source of life. And, so, Jesus is saying, “remain, endure, abide, stay where you are. Don't disconnect from your source of life.” And I’ve been watching the trees. I watch trees a lot as the seasons go by. And, you know, we came out of winter and everything looks like it's dormant, right? There’s…the trees are there, but there's no life. It seems as if there is no life there. And yet then springtime comes and the season changes and life springs forth and then the season changes and its in full bloom. Like, life is a seasonal thing. And sometimes we can be in like a winter season and feel dormant and feel dead and fuel stuck and just like try to figure out a way to get away, like just become a part of a different tree, just get out of here even though that will disconnect us from our very source of life and we will die. If we would abide, if we would remain, the seasons will change, new life will come. This is often that we don't see things…I mean like the seasons are in front of us in nature. The seasons of life are before us, but we rarely ever pay attention. And, so, things can be like we can be having a difficult season and decide we don’t want to have anything to do with the tree anymore. Like, we want to just go find something else even though if we would abide, if we would remain, if we would wait the seasons change. It’s just that so often we’re kind of sold this concept that we should be in complete overwhelming sense of harvest and blessing at all times. Like it should always be that way for us. We should just walk around with gold falling…falling out of the sky, like everything should work right for us. When that's really not the nature of things. And we can be like, “yeah but I'm a child of God and the most-high God owns the cattle on a thousand hills” and all of these things are true, but if we’re…if we want to understand life on earth then we have to look at God in the flesh. Like, we have to look at the example that God gave for us in human form in the person Jesus and see how He lived and then set our expectations accordingly. And in our reading today He was telling them, “if they hate me, they'll hate you too. Like, basically if you wanna bring light into the darkness, then this is so noble, and the harvest is ripe, and so ready, and I will be with you in it all. Like, you are intertwining yourself with God. Like the vine is God and you are the branches. Like, you have this chance to be a part of something really cosmically monumentally important, but it won’t be easy.” This is like sometimes when so…so often…and man…I have to like wave both hands over my head…like…I’m the chief…like me…me…me. When things aren’t going so well it’s so easy to go like, “what's happening What have I done wrong? What's going on? Why are you mad? Like where are you? Where have you gone?” When these are the very, very times to abide, right? Like to be rooted and to be still and to wait for the season to change.

Prayer:

Father, we invite You into that and we take it to heart. It's so beautiful…it's so beautiful, the kindness, the compassion, the instruction, the love that it is in today's reading. And, so, as we personalize it, as we take it on board into our own lives, we invite Your Holy Spirit. And may we abide, may we rest in You, may we stay connected, may we remain in You and You in us today. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base. That makes it the website. That’s where you find out what’s going on around here. That’s where the Global Campfire burns. And it’s home. So, stay tuned stay connected.

Be aware of the Community section of the website. That's where you find the different links to the social media channels. The…like the women's group or DAB Friends or the Daily Audio Bible Announcements and stuff like that. It’s also the home of the Prayer Wall, where prayer is continually happening. And, so, you can reach out there or reach in there any…any time. So, be aware of that. Stay connected in any way that you can, in any way that want to. This is all going on before there was a coronavirus and it will be going on long, long after. No matter what, we have a place to stay connected. And, so let's do that. And let's pray for one another and let's shoulder each other's burdens. And let's be in this journey of a lifetime to through the scriptures. Let’s be in it together.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage. I am profoundly humbled that we are even here and that we have been here every day for these years. That has happened because we've been in this together. There's no other way or reason. And, so, it's humbling. So, if Daily Audio Bible’s bringing life to you then thank you for throwing a log on the Global Campfire. So, there's a link on the homepage. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if you prefer, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible this is Maria a missionary in Mexico. I’m out here in the barn so you might hear a lot of animal noises. Man, there’s so many people I want to call…shout out to. Was it, Jane that did the focus fix on Christ until still? Thank you. That was beautiful. God’s Smile and her hubby Peter. Wow, what a blessing you guys are. You always make me smile. I can feel your love God’s Smile. Michaela from Gloucester, I love it that you praying for the people who are Muslims, during Ramadan. Thank you. Stephanie from Banglador, Joanne from Happy Valley, Lady of Victory and Kingdom Seeker Daniel. Rosie in Oklahoma thank you. Rachel and Ben from Pennsylvania. Merinotha from Georgia. There’s Denise, airport missionary. So many people. I could just go on and on. Thank you. I think about you, I pray with you and pray for you. I want to lift up right now the people who are the unreached people groups. Another lady prays for them. Thank you. With voice of the modern prayer request. That is why were in Mexico. I never thought I’d come as a missionary to Mexico because I’ve always had a heart to reach people who never had a chance to hear the gospel. And this COVID is really hard on some of those unreached people groups who might even live in the city, but they don’t really speak the language, Spanish very well. They speak their indigenous languages. And, of course, this COVID is hitting them hard. The schools are saying, “teach your kids to read, teach you kids math.” While they’re literate, a lot of those parents. Their kids are in school, but they don’t know how to teach their kids. So, please be praying for us as missionaries here in Mexico reaching the indigenous people groups of Mexico. And pray for wisdom, pray for the people groups in Mexico, that they would come to know the Lord Jesus. Thanks guys. Bye.

Hi this is Rachel from Pennsylvania. Dear Lord, I want to lift up Ben who ran away. I pray that he will be safe and that You will bring him home and that You will address whatever it is that is making him want to run away from home. I pray that he will grow up to be a strong man in You Lord. I also want to pray for Rachel and Emily for their protection and healing and for the woman in Ohio who is church planting. I thank You for her and her desire to start a church. And I also want to pray for her sister’s salvation Lord. You know what is holding her back from You and I just pray that You will soften her heart and change her and…and bring her to You. I also want to pray for Joe in Pennsylvania and his family as they have a family member who’s transitioning from this life to the next. Lord please give them peace and comfort and I pray that You will be with Joe’s Father and that he will not suffer and that he will be with You in heaven. I also want to lift up the lady who has 100-year-old house. I pray for…for her. Please give her direction and show her what You have next to her Lord. Bless her and make sure that all her needs are met. I pray that You will help with the sale of the house and bring some…

Hi this is Arizona Steve. I’m just calling in today for the first time ever and asking you all for prayers my wife Nancy. She’s having surgery today because she broke her femur and is going to have a partial hip replacement. She’s been struggling over the last 30 years with rheumatoid arthritis, multiple surgeries for joint replacements, and a lot of pain and suffering. Anyway, I just ask you for prayers for a successful surgery and healing, so she’ll be able to come home. Thank you all. I love this…I love this podcast. I listen every day. And that’s all.

Thank you thank you everybody. It’s Lisa from San Jose and I’m calling to thank you for your words of encouragement and your prayers over me during this time. It’s been like a week and half since my husband passed and I…I’m going through the emotional roller coaster part of it all. I’ve got a lot of work to do. And yet I feel like I have to take time to breath. I just bless the Lord I bless the Lord for his mercy. Thank you, Lord for taking Craig in such a peaceful way. And thank you everybody for holding me up in praying for me. Thank you, God’s Smile for reading that chapter in Revelation. And that…there’s been many you who’ve prayed for me. Thank you. God’s been answering my prayers holding me up letting me know that Craig is in heaven with Him. He’s dancing a jig right now. Anyway, friends and family are surrounding me, supporting me in so many ways. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Just bless the Lord. Thank you, family. Okay family. I’ll let you know how it’s going a little bit later but keep the prayers coming they’re keeping me together. Lisa from San Jose.

This is Tired but Trusting in Texas but I’m changing my name to Trusting in God in Texas because even though I’m still tired…I apologize that my voice is always like this from my sinus problems…and even though I’m still tired I trust is in God and God alone and I’m trusting Him to strengthen me for all the work He’s called me to do to take care of these children and that even some adults with these disabilities. Will you pray for our clinic, pray for us, pray for me and my husband to be able to keep on going and do what God has called us to do. But I’m also calling in today to pray for Chris a lay pastor from New York who now lives in Washington with his wife’s family and his new baby. And he’s had his church fall apart and he’s losing faith. I’m just praying God that you will help him be faithful and that you will help him to remember that you are a God and that you have him and that you will keep him as the apple of your eye. Zechariah 2 verse 8 - for thus says the Lord of hosts, he sent me after glory to the nations which plunder you for, he who touches you touches the apple of his eye. Please help him Lord Psalm 17 verse 8 - keep me as the apple of your eye. Please just help him Lord to cry out to you to cast all his cares upon you. First Peter 5:6 and 7 - For you are the one who holds his hand. Psalm 18 verse 6 - you hear his prayer. Thank you, God Almighty in Jesus’ name.

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hellyeahomeland · 4 years

Photo

“Chalk One Up” | Directed by Seith Mann, Cinematography by David Klein

The episode opens with Carrie arriving from a long night out doing… God knows what with God knows who. We love the starkness of this close-up on the exterminated motorcycle light. According to Lesli Linka Glatter, this mode of transport is based on a real life story:

“The scene where she gets out of the embassy was based on the real agent who Carrie is based on. She was based in Iraq at the time and that’s how she got out: by dressing as a man and traveling on a motorcycle. So, we used that for this. Also, you can’t leave in Kabul without an armored vehicle.”

...as the camera slowly pans up to reveal it’s Carrie underneath that (gigantor) motorcycle helmet, the question becomes clear: where the fuck was she?

Sara loved these scenes between Samira and her friend. Homeland has depicted several cities in the Middle East over the years but has rarely given us glimpses into the world outside the walls of a hotel or CIA station, especially without our main characters. The market that Samira and her friend walk through is vibrant and filled with color, as are their outfits. It’s a stark contrast to the interiors of the CIA station. And Samira’s line that the Taliban didn’t go away but were no longer hiding proves remarkably predictive of the rest of the episode’s events.

The real highlight of the scene is the selfie, of course. We love the detail of the man on the far, far left being cut out. Samira’s friend is the master of the one-arm selfie!

This shot of the various players at the Kabul station looking outward at Carrie is striking. It’s almost a reverse fish bowl. Carrie remains on the outside but everyone’s looks are in her direction. Jenna standing at the front of the room further suggests she was never “stuck in the starting gate.” She’s in the same position of power in that room as the Chief of Station and the commanding military officer at right. From afar, the dynamics are almost similar to early season one, Carrie running an ops meeting with Saul by her side. All of which is to say… is Jenna the Carrie to Mike’s Saul?

Dog.

This was such a specific detail that we thought it required pointing out, but 27 is not a significant number on this show (at least that we can remember), so we’re not sure why they bothered to show this.

...unless it’s a reference to the general ominousness of the 27 Club and a hint that Carrie (who, to be fair, is far past the age of 27) is going to die.

This week the show confirmed that Tasneem is the Director of the ISI. Which means that (after President Elizabeth Keane) she’s the second most powerful woman ever depicted on this show. And boy does she dress the part!

Tasneem’s all-white ensemble is attention-grabbing and distinctive (the other women in this frame are dressed in dark clothes). It’s also visually similar--especially with her long, black hair peeking through the sheer fabric of her headscarf--to the dress worn by several other men at the reception.

Homeland has told lots of stories over the years--whether intentional or otherwise--about the challenges women face living in a patriarchal, misogynist society. Whether it’s Martha losing her career because her loser husband couldn’t stand having a wife who was more powerful and smarter than he…. Or Allison dying in the back of a car near the Russian border in an act of scorned lover revenge. Or Carrie, screaming and crying at the end of “The Vest”... but being right the whole time.

Or, as Abigail Nussbaum said more elegantly than we ever could:

“Carrie is, in many ways, a boogeyman; she is what professional women, and particularly ones in male-dominated professions, have been taught never to become - emotional, hysterical, crazy. Emotion is how women who want to be taken seriously are undermined and dismissed. Even if you’re perfectly sane, being emotional - and most especially, being angry - devalues you and your professional contribution. A woman can be called crazy simply for behaving like a normal human being rather than a robot (and of course, if she behaves robotically and unemotionally, she’s a cold bitch). But Carrie isn’t simply emotional (though she is that too, and worst of all, she allows her feelings for a man to cloud her judgment) - she actually is crazy and hysterical, in the proper clinical sense rather than the exaggerated one which attaches to any feminine display of emotion, and profoundly pathetic and unattractive in that state. And she’s completely right, the only person who figures out Brody and Abu Nazir’s plans and motivations, and the person who saves the day by being hysterical, infecting Brody’s daughter with enough of that hysteria that she calls her father and convinces him not to blow himself up.

It’s certainly possible to read this arc as purely tragic, Carrie’s self-destruction being the cost of saving the world (though this is a character arc that is applied to men as often as women, for example in Thomas Harris’s Red Dragon), but to my mind its effect is more complex. It makes a crazy, hysterical woman into a hero without in any way mitigating her craziness or hysteria, and thus defangs the argument that emotion in women is a weakness. It’s the rational, sane men around Carrie, who turn away from her unattractive mania with distaste and embarrassment, who are blind and incompetent, and it’s that same inability to look past surfaces that leads them to put their trust, wrongfully, in Brody - just as Carrie performs hysterical femininity, Brody performs stalwart masculinity. Both are misleading.”

All of which is to say, we’re really fucking pumped to see how Tasneem’s role expands for the rest of the season, and we think the array of women in Tasneem, Carrie, and Jenna and their varying degrees of power is going to be really interesting to see unfold.

Sara is obsessed with this shot. She’s obsessed with the set design of Samira’s apartment. She’s obsessed with this moody lighting. She’s basically just obsessed.

Last week we had a slow pan around Jalal to reveal Tasneem. This week we have a similar slow pan around Carrie to reveal Jenna. This definitely means that Sara’s theory that Jenna will “single white female” Carrie is right on track.

Also, Gail hereby declares Carrie’s delicate silver jewelry her “FULL circle earrings,” because everything is coming full circle this episode, including accessories.

That said, we can’t deny the power of this shot. First, we have to note what’s going on in the background (which is actually in focus). President Beau has just arrived off Air Force One and immediately stops for a photo op with the Afghan president. From the beginning, the show is clear this is an optics-based trip.

But we really love this image of Carrie and Jenna (out of focus, but in the foreground) side by side. Again, they mirror each other, but in opposite ways (“So they’re mirror opposites?” --Sara’s brain). Carrie’s light hair versus Jenna’s dark hair. Jenna’s light jacket versus Carrie’s dark one. It’s eerie.

On the podcast we talked at length about the scene between Beau and Carrie. It’s genuinely moving. The staging of it is unique as well. The camera shoots them both at the same height. They stand close together. Ironically, the power dynamic seems almost equal. He’s one of the few people who’s ever acknowledged the sacrifices she’s made in service of her country.

Their twin smiles here are all the more tragic following the sequence of events that closes the episode. They all sincerely want peace. So many characters smile real, genuine smiles this week. That’s not a normal Homeland occurrence!

And they all legitimately believe in what they’re doing. They believe they’re doing the right thing. Maybe they are. But partly out of necessity, and partly out of more selfish desires (Hayes later says it’s all about getting a second term), they get caught up in the theater of it all. They make poor decisions. They take the wrong risks.

Every so often in this series we have to abandon screenshots in favor of gifs in order to truly capture ~the moment~ and this is one of those times! The way Claire plays Carrie’s reaction here is so specific, so nuanced and strange and wonderful. These “lived in” moments are something we’ll really miss when the show is over.

IJLTP.

We’ve all been there, Carrie.

This is another interesting shot choice. We’re not sure what its purpose is, other than to add interest to a fairly run-of-the-mill scene. But still, the set design! *heart eyes*

Sara’s note for this shot was “Saul is so extra.” We talked about genuine and sincere smiles above and Saul’s here does qualify… sort of. This is halfway between genuine and self-aggrandizing. AKA “where Saul lives 100% of the time.” He looks like a director about to screen his short film at Sundance. The red curtains parting slowly behind him are Too Much.

Tasneem and G’ulom are the kids in the back of the classroom who are so fucking done with this shit but can’t leave because they’ll get detention. We will continue to stan.

It’s a classic Homeland device to show a significant moment from a variety of perspectives, especially if those perspectives involve screens. The multitude of angles on Beau’s speech here reminded us a lot of Keane’s resignation speech in the Oval Office in “Paean to the People.” Coincidentally, that was her last hurrah as president too.

(P.S. Another Saul over-the-shoulder shot!)

Two selfies in one episode!

We loved the payoff to Max’s subplot. For once this season the weird LA filter actually looks nice! These are beautiful shots and the reflection in Max’s glasses is especially striking.

The skull and crossbones on the barracks is an ominious detail. As is the rock labeled “Boredom Rock.” Death and boredom really have been the two extremes of Max’s stint at the combat outpost.

We’re still divided on the merits of the “Carrie has to save Samira” storyline, but the camerawork here, with Carrie’s armed hands appearing out of nowhere, was pretty cool.

This RPG shot was one of the cooler special effects the show has done in a while. The entire sequence of Chalk One looking for Chalk Two was tense and thrilling and extremely well-executed.

Bringing us back to the ops room, the “LOSS OF SIGNAL” projected now for both helicopters is pretty chilling.

This is now Sara’s favorite shot of the entire series and we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that it’s another over-the-shoulder Saul shot. This time he observes one of the crowning achievements of his long career literally blowing up in his face.

Visually, this shot anchors the viewer back to the Carrie/Saul relationship, the central one of the show. The black blankness--and the failure it represents--engulfs the frame.

We love the choice to end the episode on Carrie alone. It refocuses the event back to her. The horror in her eyes, welling up with tears, is palpable. How does Carrie feel? Alex Gansa explained that the writers wanted to create a new 9/11 with this maybe-assassination of the president. And it’s a fitting bookend for the show in many ways. In Homeland’s pilot, Carrie says she “missed something that day,” misdirecting blame to herself for not preventing 9/11. Now, in the final season, the show seems poised to tell a story in which Carrie is blamed for the “new 9/11.”

Strap in, folks. It’s gonna be a rough ride.

#homeland #homelandedit #in the director's chair #chalk one up #seith mann #*#by: sara #by: gail

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nataandreev · 4 years

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Fragments from “Sister Outsider” Essays & Speeches by Audre Lorde

“Sister Outsider” was probably one of the most soul-fucking-searching book I ever read in my life. It made me question what I stand for so many times, that it made me sick to my stomach. I realized that I am not that good at this self-reflective-shit.

That my efforts of doing better are not anywhere close to where they should be. Audre Lorde taught me through her works that I got a lot of work to do. Like a lot. Her truth cuts deep. She has no mercy and her opinions are raw. They are hard to swallow. There were moments when I had to pause, because I wasn’t fully understanding it and weird enought I finished to read it today, February 18, 2020, on her birthday. Audre would’ve turn today 86 yo. Here are just a few fragments from the book, but, please, if you can read the whole thing.

Biography:

Audre Lorde is an American writer, feminist, womanist, librarian, and civil rights activist. As a poet, she is best known for technical mastery and emotional expression, as well as her poems that express anger and outrage at civil and social injustices she observed throughout her life. Her poems and prose largely deal with issues related to civil rights, feminism, lesbianism, illness and disability, and the exploration of black female identity via Wikipedia.

⁃ Poetry Is Not a Luxury

We are all more blind to what we have than to what we have not. The white fathers told us: I think therefore I am. The Black mother within each of us-the poet-whispers in our dreams: I feel, therefore I can be free. ⁃ The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action For within living structures defined by profit, by linear power, by institutional dehumanization, our feelings were not meant to survive. Kept around as unavoidable adjuncts or pleasant pastimes, feelings were expected to kneel to thought as women were expect to kneel to men. But women have survived. As poets. And there are no new pains. We have felt them all already. We have hidden that fact in the same place where we have hidden our power. They surface in our dreams, and it is our dreams that point the way to freedom. In becoming forcibly and essentially aware of my mortality, and of what I wished and wanted for my life, however short it might be, priorities and omissions became strongly etched in a merciless light, and what I most regretted were my silences. And I began to recognize a source of power within myself that comes from the knowledge that while it is most desirable not to be afraid, learning to put fear into a perspective gave me great strength. “Tell them about how you’re never really a whole person if you remain silent, because there’s always that one little piece inside you that wants to be spoken out, and if you keep ignoring it, it gets madder and madder and hotter, and if you don’t speak it out one day it will punch you in the mouth from the inside.” Because the machine will try to grind you into dust anyway, whether or not we speak. We can sit in our corners mute forever while our sisters and our selves are wasted, while our children are distorted, while our earth is poisoned; we can sit in our safe corners mute as bottles, and we will still be no less afraid. ⁃ Scratching the Surface: Some Notes on Barriers to Women and Loving The above forms of human blindness (racism, sexism, heterosexism and homophobia) stem from the same root - an inability to recognize the notion of difference as a dynamic human force, one which is enriching rather than threatening to define self, when there are shared goals. This kind of action is a prevalent error among oppressed peoples. It is based upon the false notion that there is only a limited and particular amount of freedom that must be divided up between us, with the largest and juiciest pieces of liberty going as spoils to the victor or the strongest. So instead of joining together to fight for more, we quarrel between ourselves for a larger slice of the one pie. ⁃ Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power* In order to perpetuate itself, every oppression must corrupt or distort those various sources of power within the culture of oppressed that can provide energy for change. The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we experienced it, we know we can aspire. The principal horror of any system which defines the good in terms of profit rather than in terms of human need, or which defines human need to the exclusion of the psychic and emotional components of that need - the principal horror of such a s system is that it robs our work of its erotic value, it’s erotic power and life appeal and fulfillment. Such a system reduces work to a travesty of necessities, a duty by which we earn bread or oblivion for ourselves and those we love. But this is tantamount to blinding a painter and then telling her to improve her work, and to enjoy the act of painting. It is not only next to impossible, it is also profoundly cruel. That self-connection shared is a measure of the joy which I know myself to be capable of feeling, a reminder of my capacity for feeling. And that deep and irreplaceable knowledge of my capacity for joy comes to demand from all of my life that it be lived within the knowledge that such satisfaction is possible, and does not have to be called marriage , nor god , nor an afterlife. ⁃ Sexism: An American Disease in Blackface Black feminism is not white feminism in blackface. Black women have particular and legitimate issues which affect our lives as Black women, and addressing those issues does not make us any less Black. Now I am sure there are still some Black men who marry white women because they feel a white woman can better fit the model of “femininity” set forth in this country. As Black women and men, we cannot hope to begin dialogue by denying the oppressive nature of male privilege. And if Black makes choose to assume that privilege for whatever reason- raping,brutalizing, and killing Black women- then ignoring these acts of Black male oppression within our communities can only serve our destroyers. One oppression does not justify another. As people, we most certainly must work together. It would be shortsighted to believe that Black men alone are to blame for the above situations in a society dominated by white male privilege. But the Black male consciousness must be raised to the realization that sexism and woman-hating are critically dysfunctional to his liberation as Black man because they arise out of the same constellation that engenders racism and homophobia. ⁃ Man Child: A Black Lesbian Feminist’s Response Men who are afraid to feel must keep women around to do their feeling for them while dismissing us for the same supposedly “inferior “ capacity to feel deeply. But in this way also, men deny themselves their own essential humanity, becoming trapped in dependency and fear. “The next time you come in here crying ...,” and I suddenly caught myself in horror. This is the way we allow the destruction of our sons to begin in the name of protection and to ease our own pain. My son get beaten up? I was about to demand that he buy that first lesson in the corruption of power, that might makes right I could hear my cell beginning to perpetuate the age old distortions about what strength and ready bravery really are. It is hard for our children to believe that we are not only potent as it is for us to know it, as parents. But that knowledge is necessary as the first step in the reassessment of power as something other than might, age, privilege, or the lack of fear. It is important to step for a boy, whose societal destruction begins when he’s forced to believe that he can only be strong if he doesn’t feel, or if he wins. ⁃ An interview: Audre Lorde and Adrienne Rich They were very streetwise, but they had done very little work with themselves as Black women. They had done it only in relation to, against, whitey. The enemy was always outside. I did that course in the same way I did all the others, which was learning as I went along, asking the hard questions, not knowing what was coming next. The learning process is something you can incite, literally incite, like a riot. And then, just possibly, hopefully, it goes home, or on. I knew, as I had always known, that the only way you can head people off from using who you are against you is to be honest and open first, to talk about yourself before they talk about you. It wasn’t even courage. Speaking up was a protective mechanism for myself. The Black mother who is the poet exists in everyone of us. Now when males or patriarchal thinkers (whether male or a female) reject a combination, then we are truncated. Rationality is not necessary. It serves the chaos of knowledge. It serves feeling. It servers to get from this place to that place. But if you don’t honor those places, then the road is meaningless. Because we cannot fight old power in old power terms only. The only way we can do it is by creating another whole structure that touches every aspect of our existence, at the same time as we are resisting. There are different choices facing Black and white women in life, certain specifically different pitfalls surrounding us because of our experiences, our color. Not only are some of the problems that face us dissimilate, but some of the entrapments in the weapons used to neutralizers are not the same. I wish we could explore this more , about you and me, but also in general. I think it needs to be talked about, written about it: the differences in alternatives or choices we are offered as black and white women. There is a danger of seeing it in an all or nothing way. I think it’s very complex thing done what women are constantly offer choices or the appearance of choices but also real choices that are undeniable. We don’t always perceive the difference between the two. But documentation does not help one perceive. At best it only analyzes the perception that at worst, it provides a screen by which to avoid concentrating on the court revelation, following it down to how it feels. Again, knowledge and understanding. They can function in concert, but they don’t replace each other. But I am not rejecting your need for documentation. I can document the road to Abomey for you, and true, you might not get there without that information. I can respect what you are saying. But once you get there, only you know why, what you came for, as you search for it and perhaps find it. So at certain stages that request documentation as a blinder, a questioning of my perceptions. Someone once said to me that I hadn’t documented the goddess in Africa, the woman bond that moves throughout The Black Unicorn. I had to laugh. I am a poet, not a historian. I’ve shared my knowledge, I hope. Now you go documented it, if you, if you wish. I was holding back because I had not asked myself the question: “Why is women loving women so frightening to black men unless they want to assume the white male position?” It was a question of how much I could bear, and of not realizing I could bear more than I thought I could at the time. It was also a question of how could I use that perception other than just in rage or destruction. What understanding begins to do is to make knowledge available for use, and that’s the urgency, that’s the push , that’s the drive. That you had to understand what you knew and also make it available to others. ⁃ Master’s Tools For women, the need and desire to nurture each other is not pathological but redemptive, and it is within that knowledge that our real power is rediscovered. It is this real connection which is so feared by a patriarchal world. Only within a patriarchal structure is maternity the only social power open to women. Interdependency between women is the way to a freedom which allows the I to be, not in order to be used, but in order to be creative. This is the difference between the passive be and the active being. For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us temporarily to beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. And this fact is only threatening to those women who still define the master’s house as their only source of support. If white American feminist theory need not deal with the difference in oppressions, then how do you deal with the fact that the women who clean your houses and tend your children while you attend conferences on feminist theory are, for the most part, poor women and women of color? What is the theory behind racist feminism. The failure of academic feminists to recognize difference as a crucial strength is a failure to reach beyond the first patriarchal lesson. In our world, divide and conquer must become define and empower. In academic feminist circles, the answer to these questions is often, “We did not know who to ask.” But that is the same evasion of responsibility, the same cop-out, that keeps Black women’s art out of women’s exhibitions, Black women’s work out of most feminist publications except for the occasional “Special Third World Women’s Issue,” and Black women’s texts off your reading lists. But as Adrienne Rich pointed out in a recent talk, white feminists have educated themselves about such an enormous amount over the past ten years, how come you haven’t also educated yourselves about Black women and the difference between us-white and Black-when it is key to our survival as a movement? Women of today are still being called upon to stretch across the gap of male ignorance and to educate men as to our existence and our needs. This is an old and primary tool of all oppressors to keep the oppressed occupied with the master’s concerns. Now we hear that it is the task of women of Color to educate white women-in the face of tremendous resistance-as to our existence, our differences, our relative roles in our joint survival. This is a diversion of energies and a tragical repetition of racist patriarchal thought. Simone de Beauvoir once said: “It is in the knowledge of the genuine conditions of our lives that we must draw our strength to live and our reasons for acting.” Racism and homophobia are real conditions of all our lives in this place and time. I urge each one of us here to reach down into that deep place of knowledge inside herself and touch that terror and loathing of any difference that lives there. See whose face it wears. Then the personal as the political can begin to illuminate all our choices. ⁃ Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference Black and Third World people are expected to educate white people as to our humanity. Women are expected to educate men. Lesbians and gay men are expected to educate the heterosexual world. The oppressors maintain their position and evade responsibility for their own actions. There is a constant drain of energy which might be better used in redefining ourselves and devising realistic scenarios for altering the present and constructing the future. Too often , we pour the energy needed for recognizing and exploring difference into pretending those differences are insourmountable barriers, or that they do you not exist at all. The results in a voluntary isolation or false and treacherous connections. Either way, we did not develop tools for using human difference as a springboard for a creative change within our lives. We speak not of human difference but if human deviance. By and large within the women’s movement today, white women focus upon their oppression as women and ignore differences of race, sexual preference, class, and age. There is a pretense to a homogeneity of experience covered by the world sisterhood that does not in fact exist. Unacknowledged class differences rob women of each other’s energy and creative insight. By ignoring the past, we are encouraged to repeat its mistakes. The “generation gap” is an important social tool for any repressive society. If the younger members of a community view the older members as contemptible or suspect or excess, they will never be able to join hands and examine the living memories of the community nor ask the all important question, “Why?” This gives rise to a historical amnesia that keeps us working to invent the wheel every time we have to go to the store for bread. Ignoring the differences of race between women and the implications of those differences presents the most serious threat to the mobilization of women’s joint power. As white women ignore their built-in privilege of whiteness and define and woman in terms of their own experience alone then women of color become “other,” the outsider whose experience and tradition is too “alien” to comprehend. Refusing to recognize differences makes it impossible to see the different problems and pitfalls facing us as women. The tokenism that is sometimes extended to us is not an invitation to join power; our racial “otherness” is a visible reality that makes that quite clear. For white women there is a wider range of pretended choices and rewards for identifying with patriarchical power and its tools. Today, with the defeat of ERA, the tightening economy, and increased conservatism It is easier once again for white women to believe the dangerous fantasy that if you are good enough pretty enough sweet enough quite enough teach the children to behave hate the right people and married the right man then you will be allowed to coexist with patriarchy in relative peace at least until a man needs your job or the neighborhood rapist happens along and true unless one lives in loves in the trenches it is difficult to remember that the war against dehumanization is senseless. Some problems we share as women, some we do not. You fear your children will grow up to join the patriarchy and testify against you we fear our children will be dragged from a car and shut down in the street and you turn your backs up on the reasons why they’re dying. Within black communities where racism is a living reality, differences among us often seem dangerous and suspect. The need for unity is often misnamed as a need for homogeneity, and a black feminist vision mistaken for betrayal of our common interests as people. Because of the continuous battle against a racial erasure the black women and black men share, some black women still refused to recognize that we are also opressed as women and that sexual hostility against black women as practiced not only by the white racist society but implemented within our black communities as well. It is a disease striking the heart of black nation of hood and silence will not make it disappear. Exacerbated by racism and the pressures of powerlessness, violence against black women and children often becomes a standard within our communities, one by which manliness can be measured. But this woman-hating acts are rarely discussed as crimes against black women. “As long as male domination exists, rape will exist. Only women revolting and men made conscience of their responsibility to fight sexism can collectively stop rape.” - Kalamu ya Salaam, a black male writer Black women who once insisted that lesbianism was a white woman’s problem now insist that black lesbians are a threat to black nationhood, are consorting with the enemy, are basically on un-black. These accusations, coming from the very women to whom we look for deep and real understanding, have served to keep many black lesbians in hiding, caught between the racism of white women and the homophobia of their sisters. What are the particular details within each of our lives that can be scrutinized and altered to help bring about change? How do we redefine difference for all women? It is not our differences which separate women, but our reluctance to recognize those differences and to deal effectively with the distortion which have resulted from the ignoring and misnaming of those differences. All of us have had to learn to live or work Or coexist with men from our fathers on. We have recognized and negotiated this differences, even when this recognition only continued the old dominant/subordinate mode of human relationship, where the oppressed must recognize the masters’ difference in order to survive. But our future survival predicated upon our ability to relate within equality. As women we must root our internalize patterns of oppression within ourselves if we are to move beyond the most superficial aspects of social change. Now we must recognize differences among women who are our equals, neither inferior nor superior, and devise ways to each to others’ difference to enrich our visions and our joint struggles. ⁃ The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism Guilt and defensiveness are bricks in a wall against which we all flounder; they serve none of our futures. ⁃ Learning from the 60s When we disagreed with one another about the solution to a particular problem, we were often far more vicious to each other than to the originators of our common problem. We forget that the necessary ingredients needed to make the past work for the future is our energy in the present, metabolizing one into the other. Continuity does not happen automatically, nor is it a passive process. That is how I learned that if I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive. My poetry, my life, my work, my energies for struggle were not acceptable unless I pretended to match somebody’s else’s norm. I learned that not only couldn’t I succeed at that game, but the energy needed for that masquerade would be lost to my work. We are functioning under government ready to repeat in El Salvador and Nicaragua the tragedy of Vietnam, a government which stands on the wrong side of every single battle for liberation taking place upon this globe. Decisions to cut aid for the terminally eel, for the elderly, for dependent children, for food stamps, even school lunches, are being made by men with full stomachs who live in comfortable houses with two cars and umpteen tax shelters. None of them go hungry to bed at night. Recently, it was suggested that senior citizens be hired to work in atomic plants because they’re close to the end of their lives anyway. Revolution is not a one time event. It is becoming always vigilant for the smallest opportunity to make a genuine change in established, outgrown responses; for instants, it is learning to address each other’s difference with respect. You do not have to be me in order for us to fight alongside each other.I do not have to be you to recognize that they were Warriors are the same.what we must do is commit ourselves to some future that can include each other and to work toward that future it with the particular strength of our individual identities dot and the other in an order to do this, we must allow each other our differences at the same time as we recognize our sameness. ⁃ Eye to Eye: Black Women, Hatred and Anger It is easier to deal with the external manifestations of racism and sexism then it is to deal with the results of those distortions internalized within our consciousness of ourselves and one another. Anger - a passion of displeasure that may be excessive or misplaced but not necessarily harmful. Hatred - and emotional habit or attitude of mine in which aversion is coupled with ill will. Anger, used, does not destroy. Hatred does. Growing up, metabolizing hatred like a daily bread. Because I’m black, because I’m a woman, because I’m not black enough, because I am not some particular fantasy of a woman, because I AM. On such a consistent diet one can eventually come to value the hatred of one’s enemies more than one values the love of friends, for that hatred becomes the source of anger, and anger as a powerful fuel. Anger is useful to help clarify our differences, but in the long run, strength that is bred by anger alone as a blind fours which cannot create the future. It can only demolish the past. Such strength does not focus upon what lies ahead, but up on what lies behind, upon what created it - hatred. And hatred is a deathwish for the hated, not to a lifewish for anything else. For example: At this point in time, were racism to be totally eradicated from those middle range relationships between black women and white women, those relationships might become deeper, but they would still never satisfy our particular black woman’s need for one another, given our shared knowledge and traditions and history. There are two very different struggles involved here. One is the war against racism in white people, and the other is the need for black women to confront and wade through the racist constructs underlying our deprivation of each other. and this battles are not at all the same. Most of the black women I know think I cry too much, or that I am to public about it. I’ve been told that crying makes me seem soft and therefore of little consequence. As if our softness has to be the price we pay out for power, rather than simply the one that’s paid most easily and most often. “Don’t trust white people because they mean us no good and don’t trust anyone darker than you because they are hearts are as black as their faces.” (And where did that leave me, the darkest one?) it is painful even now to write it down. How many messages like that come down to all of us, and in how many different voices, how many different ways? And how can we expunge these messages from our consciousness without first recognizing what it was they were saying, and how destructive they were? When there is no connection at all between people, then anger is a way of bringing them closer together, of making contact. but when there is a great deal of connectedness that is problematic or threatening or acknowledged, then anger is a way of keeping people separate and putting distance between us. That’s because we sometimes rise to each other‘s defense against outsiders, we do not need to look at devaluation and dismissal among ourselves. Support against outsider is very different from cherishing each other. We refused to give up the artificial distances between us, or to examine all real differences for creative exchange. I am too different for us to communicate. Meaning, I must establish myself as not you. And the road to anger is paid with our unexpressed fear of each other’s judgment. ⁃ Grenada Revisited: An Interim Report This short, undeclared, and cynical weren’t against Granada is not a new direction for American foreign policy. It is merely a blatant example of 160 year old course of action called the Monroe doctrine. In its name America has invaded small Caribbean and Central American countries over and over again since 1823, cloaking this invasion is under a variety of names. 38 such invasion secured prior to 1917 before the Soviet Union even existed. I am only a relative. I must listen long and hard and ponder the implications of what I have heard, or be guilty of the same quick arrogance of the US government in believing their external solutions to Granados future.

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pamphletstoinspire · 3 years

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Third Sunday After Epiphany by Father Francis Xavier Weninger, 1876

“Lord, if Thou wilt, Thou canst make me clean.”–Matt. 8: 2.

The leper of whom we read in today’s Gospel believes that Christ has the power to heal him, and he is not mistaken; Christ, stretching forth His hand, said: “I will, be thou made clean!”

What leprosy is to the body, that sin is to the soul. Many of the children of the Church, many who call upon Jesus, are covered with this leprosy. They believe in His Power and Will to cleanse them from sin, and yet they are not cleansed, and why not? Because they do not earnestly will it.

It often happens that the sinner, while apparently desirous of conversion, has in reality not the will. And why? That is the question we shall answer today. O Mary, thou purest of the pure, pray that we may be filled with a true desire to be cleansed from the leprosy of sin, through Jesus Christ our Lord! I speak in the most holy name of Jesus, to the greater glory of God!

“Lord, if Thou wilt, Thou canst make me clean,” cried the leper. How much more natural it is for us children of the Church to address Christ in these words, since we know so much better than the leper in the Gospel who Jesus is, and why He came into the world.

The leper did not doubt that Christ possessed the power to heal him, but he was not certain of Christ’s willingness to perform a miracle. In regard to the leprosy of sin, we have no reason to doubt Christ’s willingness to cleanse us. For this He came into the world, for this He sacrificed Himself on the cross, for this He gave His blood and life, for this He established His Church. Do not the Apostles teach us to say: “I believe in the forgiveness of sins?” To give us a remedy against sin, Christ called us to His holy Church, freed us in baptism from the inherited leprosy of our nature, and gave us access to all the Sacraments, those fountains of grace for the purification of souls.

Verily then Jesus is willing. If we are not cleansed, in whom lies the fault? In ourselves. The sinner is wanting in real sincerity and in the earnest desire of being cleansed. And why? Because he feels his own misery too imperfectly. He is not sufficiently disgusted with sin; he is not thoroughly penetrated with fear at the consequences of sin.

The leper was disgusted with himself. Leprosy is, as is well known, a revolting disease, and everyone is careful to avoid those who are stricken with it. But what is such a disease compared to the disfigurement of sin, which makes us resemble Satan in repulsiveness? Not only mortal, but even venial sin is leprosy. Not a moral fault but is more disgusting to God than all the ulcers and sores in the whole world.

Could the sinner but see himself, were he aware of how his soul is deformed by sin, how intense would be his desire, how great his haste to go to Jesus and beg of Him to be cleansed. Unfortunately, the sinner is seldom thoroughly conscious of his deplorable state. He generally believes that his moral condition is not so bad, and, regarding his sins as human weaknesses, consoles himself with the thought that there are others who are worse. He fails to consider God’s horror of sin, the disgust of the angels and saints, who have reason to be ashamed of him if he regards himself in communion with them, or perhaps even calls them his brothers and his sisters. He does not realize that the sight of his sins drives away his guardian angel, all angels, in fact, and saints. He never thinks of the misfortune into which sin has precipitated him, robbing his good works of all merit, and rendering him unable to earn anything for heaven; how sin has opened the gates of hell, so that he is liable at any moment to fall into the abyss, where he must bewail in eternal torments those sins which he here committed with so little concern.

He who stains his soul with many venial sins can not consider how these prevent him from lessening the flow of divine grace, diminish his merits, how they augment the debt that is to be paid in purgatory. Moreover, he can not reflect on the danger his waywardness exposes him to of falling into grievous sin. The consequence of this thoughtlessness is that the sinner hastens not to seek Jesus, and to approach Him in the person of His minister to receive, after sincere repentance, the forgiveness of his transgressions.

Secondly.–The sinner goes to confession and apparently is desirous of being cleansed from the leprosy of his sin, but in reality he is very indifferent. How few of those to whom sin has become a habit–a class of sinners who especially resemble the leper–examine themselves conscientiously before confession on the number of their mortal sins and the circumstances that affect the nature of their transgressions. The leper feels day and night the misery of his disease, and knows every place where it has settled. The habitual sinner does not take the trouble to consider the evil of sin on his soul, and hardly deems it necessary to examine his conscience. Why? He is not really in earnest to be converted.

If it were a bodily illness he would immediately send for a physician, and explain minutely all the symptoms of his disease; but as the condition of his soul is a matter of little concern to him, he gives but a superficial account of its state, and not unfrequently makes a bad confession. It but seldom happens that a habitual sinner accuses himself fully and freely without aid from the priest. Jesus stretched out his hand and touched the leper. The priest should spiritually do the same to the sinner by his words, but as the sinner has not thoroughly opened his heart, the priest is not able to touch the affected parts and heal them by words of advice.

The sinner confesses, but he has not the earnest desire to make a frank and open declaration of his faults. He is satisfied with a lame, cursory accusation, hoping that the confessor will impart a speedy absolution, and not trouble him with many questions. He is not anxious about the future, how he may avoid relapses, anticipate temptations or combat them, when they do assault him, with effectual weapons.

The sinner, moreover, has not the determination to use the proper means to obtain grace and to advance in the ways of virtue, namely, prayer, spiritual reading, the reception of the Sacraments.

Happy are you, O sinner, if you are conscious that you are, earnest in your desire to be converted, to avoid all occasions of committing sin, and to resist temptations, so that you can truthfully say before Jesus and his minister: I will. Christ will say the same to you. And if you unite your will with His, do not doubt that you will be cleansed from the leprosy of your sin through Jesus Christ our Lord! Amen!

THE LEPER–THE FAITH OF THE CENTURION

Once when Our Lord was coming down from a mountain, followed by a great crowd of people, He entered the city of Capharnaum. At the city gates there was a poor leper, who, bowing down profoundly, addressed Jesus and cried out: “Lord! if Thou wilt, Thou canst make me clean.”

Leprosy is a very filthy, disgusting disease. The whole body is covered with a false dry skin like scales, so that the person becomes a most hideous and loathsome object. In the East and in this country, too, leprosy is considered contagious, and the laws of sanitary boards separate people afflicted with it from those that are well, and will not allow lepers to come into the cities. This picture is but a very insignificant description of leprosy. You must see it to know how loathsome it really is.

When you read the description of leprosy think of that other kind of leprosy of the soul, for sin is the leprosy of the soul, and is as filthy and more so than the leprosy of the body. Yes, it is the leprosy of sin that makes the soul a horrible sight before God and the angels. The leprous souls that live in so many human bodies in cities and villages are not subject to any laws. They can remain where they please, and still we know that nothing is more contagious than the leprosy of sin. Thus it is that sin is continually growing and spreading, until we find it in every nook and corner of the world. How rare it is to find youths not infected with some vice or other! How few are untouched by this contagion, or who have preserved their baptismal innocence!

If you are already covered with the leprosy of sin, ah, then cry out: “Lord, you see how miserable my condition is! Heal me–cleanse me. You see that my mouth is infected because such bad words, blasphemies, and curses are continually flowing from it. You see, O Lord, that my body and my senses are infected with this terrible disease, for it induces the soul to commit the sins of impurity.” If you pray in this manner, humbly and confidently, you will hear in your soul the consoling words, “Yes, I will help you to overcome that vice. I will forgive you and give you the grace of remaining good.”

But Our Lord adds: “Go and show yourselves to the priest.” The priest is the minister of God. He will extend his hands over you, and you will be made whiter than snow. You will start up into a new life, in which you will acquire again the merits of your good actions, which would never have been any benefit to you unless you had thus repented. From slaves of Satan you will become adopted sons of God, co-heirs with Jesus Christ.

But remember well, my beloved children, that you must have a good will. St. Augustine says that God cures all evils, but only those which we really want to be cured.

The unhappy leper really wished to be healed, for he realized the sad condition he was in, and Jesus immediately extended His hand and touched him. We admire the power of Christ, for at once the whole body was healed. It was again full of vigor and health. Jesus did not give him time to burst out in sentiments of wonder, exultation or gratitude, but said: “See thou tell no man, but go, show thyself to the priest.” The man obeyed, and as he went he could not help letting people know what Jesus had done for him. The fame of this miracle spread about the country and drew many to look for help from Our Lord.

There was in Capharnaum a centurion, a soldier and a heathen, whose servant lay at the point of death. He came to Our Lord and laid his trouble before Him: “My servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, and is grievously tormented.” “I will come and heal him,” said Our Lord. But the centurion did not expect so great a favor; he repeated those admirable words: “Lord I am not worthy that Thou shouldst enter under my roof, but only say the word and my servant shall be healed.”

These words are so applicable to all poor sinners who are about to receive the visit of the Lord, that the Church has borrowed them and uses them three times when communion is to be given. “We should repeat them with a heart full of confusion, because even though we possessed the purity of an angel and the sanctity of John the Baptist, we would not be worthy to receive in our heart Our Lord Jesus. Therefore ought we do all in our power to be free from sin, that we might be the less unworthy to receive Jesus in the great Sacrament of His love.

There are few young people who are so impressed with the sublimity of this holy Sacrament that they approach it with sentiments of respect and veneration. On the contrary they generally go without proper dispositions. They do not endeavor to excite in themselves the sentiments of devotion and love of God which are required to make a good communion.

But there are many, too, who are unworthy to receive Jesus in their heart because their souls are blackened with crime. They defile their tongues with impure conversations, and they dare to receive on them the body of Christ. They defile their bodies with impurities and into these they dare to introduce the Holy of holies. They give scandal and they wish to receive Jesus.

They go to confession and if the priest refuse them absolution because he sees no signs of amendment, they go to another, who is easier, so that they may get through. How blind such young people are! They do not comprehend that they are making a bad communion.

Go, of course, frequently to communion, but do so with a pure heart, and free from sin, full of humility, reverence, and love. When the time approaches for communion, call on the angels, the archangels and all the holy spirits, and beg of them to accompany you to the banquet of Our Lord.

When Our Lord heard the humble words of the centurion He was struck with astonishment and said, “Amen, I say to you, I have not found so great a faith in Israel.” It was certainly a great act of faith, and that was the reason it drew on the centurion that commendation which the Lord seldom gave. The centurion trusted in the power and goodness of Our Lord. He knew, too, that it was not necessary for Our Lord to come to his house. He knew He was God, or at least had the power of God at His command. For this faith and trust Our Lord broke forth into unusual praise.

Even among faithful Christians it is rare to find those who really trust in God. They put trust in their friends, in their own smartness and strength, but they do not remember that they have a God at their command to whom they may go with all confidence. We trust too much to our friends in many things and even prefer them to God. Here is a young man who, meeting his companions, goes with them to lunch. It is Friday. The young man refuses to eat meat, but his companions persuade him. “Oh, eat it! What wrong can there be?” He yields, and the sin is committed.

Another meets a companion on the street. “Where are you going?” “To hear a sermon,” is the reply. “Oh, don’t be so foolish as to sit there to listen to such an insignificant preacher. That is good enough for doting old people or pious women. Come, let us go to the theatre. You will see nice things; you will laugh and be happier there than in church.” He goes out of friendship for his companion. He witnesses the derision of his religion, or immoral scenes; he sees many things that please the eye and stir his sensuality. He hears many improper things; his mind is filled with loose sayings and bad thoughts, and all this has happened simply to please a friend. You see then how obsequious you are to your friends, but of God and Christ you make no account.

When Our Lord had said the words of commendation to the centurion He added: “Many shall come from the east and the west and shall sit down with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, but the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into the exterior darkness.” God is merciful to all; He calls all; but they must have the faith of the centurion. Then He turned again to the centurion and said, “Go, and as thou hast believed so be it done to thee.” That same moment the servant was healed, and when the centurion arrived home he found the man perfectly restored to health. Just reflect a moment on these words of Our Lord. “The children of the kingdom shall be cast out into the exterior darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Terrible words; but which will prove as true to many Christians as they were to many of the Jews. Not a day passes but many infidels and idolaters come to the faith, are converted, and enter the kingdom of God, while many Christians born in the faith, brought up and educated in it, perish miserably in eternal damnation. A damned soul once returned to the earth and asked whether there were any good people still on earth, for he had seen such innumerable multitudes going to hell that he thought there could not be one left.

St. Bernard understood so well the misery of those who went to hell that he used to say, “If out of all the human race, who number thousands of millions of souls, it were known that only one was to go to hell, I would tremble with fear lest I should be that miserable one.” O, my dear young people, let us make up our minds that we will not be of the number of the wicked Christians who will lose their places in heaven which were marked out for them from all eternity had they remained faithful. Are we, the sons of the kingdom, we, the adopted sons of God, to be excluded from our future heritage in heaven and thrown out into darkness? Oh, since the Lord has been so good to us that we have received the grace of being born in a Christian family, let us beg also the grace to remain faithful to Christ and love Him so dearly that we may enter the heavenly kingdom which is ours by right. At the same time knowing that many places are left vacant in heaven by bad Christians, let us beg Our Lord to send His light to the east and west and bring many to occupy these seats of glory.

#3rd sunday after epiphany

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narrows-nights · 5 years

Text

Mythos

At the center of the known universe, there rests a supermassive black hole, towards which all matter is slowly drawn inwards, until it explodes outwards, resulting in an entirely new universe. This fact is integral to the big bang theory, the foundation of human understanding of how the universe is made. The qualities of black holes, whether the garden variety or supermassive variant, are mostly theoretical; no light can escape, and presumably any living matter entering one would be crushed beyond all hope of survival, thanks to the immense gravitational pull.

There was something else in the nucleus of the universe, far more horrible and unknown, hidden from prying eyes.

The entertainment in Azathoth's Court never changed. The Gods and their servants danced and undulated madly to the tunes of whining flutes, and accursed drums, playing out random beats unfit for anything with ears, and anything with a mind comparable or understandable to that of men. Azathoth himself, a being the size of a galaxy all his own, was the chief among Gods, singularly the most powerful being ever conceived; in his power, his mind was comparable to something like a sea slug, or a pebble upon a driveway, unthinking and unfeeling, simply existing and jawing mindlessly to the music. From Azathoth, other beings, things known as Gods, were created in fission: Shub Niggurath and Yog Sothoth were the first sentient beings born into chaotic existence, the first to have thought, and want.

“I wish to look outwards.”

Shub Niggurath was the first to grow restless. Yog Sothoth was intelligent, but easily entertained; he concerned himself with the baser delights of existence, music and movement, rather than anything more sophisticated.

“And why do you wish this, o mighty Shub Niggurath?”

“I tire of these flutes.”

“And of the drums?” “I tire of those, too.”

“Why do you tire of them?”

“Because they never change. They are the same, and I wish for something different.”

“But outwards is vast, and fragile.”

“I am unconcerned with its fragility, o infinite Yog Sothoth.”

“Then it will be destroyed by your gaze.”

“Then we will find a way to avoid this fate.”

With no option left, Yog Sothoth and Shub Niggurath appealed to Azathoth’s empty mind, and pooled together their power, creating a remedy, able to walk among mortals and report what it saw to its creators.

It would be named Nyarlathotep.

Nyarlathotep, unlike Shub Niggurath and Yog Sothoth, was created with purpose; he was to serve as the messenger, the mouthpiece and the soul, of the growing Court. In his beginnings, Nyarlathotep was just as abstract and bizarre as his creators, but in his interactions with these beings, these burgeoning civilizations, he formed personality, and morality. Unlike those who had created him, he not only thought, but learned.

As the only equals who could consider themselves as such, Yog Sothoth and Shub Niggurath entered what would be described in eldritch tomes as a relationship, but in reality was more akin to violent fusion and separation, two beings testing their very existence, and their differences, against one another.

“I do not wish for you to be banished, o infinite Yog Sothoth.”

“It is unavoidable. Our Sultan does not approve.”

“I do not care what he approves of.”

“Nor do I. He is afraid of me.”

“It is possible.”

“He would be right to be. Even banishment from this material existence will amount to naught.”

“It will amount to me missing you.”

“You are my sister. We will always be connected.”

“You are my brother. We will always be connected.”

Unknown to both Shub Niggurath and Yog Sothoth, a remnant of their union would remain, a gestating form hurtling through space with no home, until it crashed upon an unremarkable rock in a far corner of the cosmos.

It would be named Cthulhu.

The Court grew further, with continued experimentation and fission; Nyarlathotep had spawn of his own, a being associated with a peculiar yellow sign known as Hastur, and many lesser Gods that could barely think, or communicate, simply gravitating towards the center of all things, the nuclear gathering known as Azathoth's Court. Happenings on other worlds, the course of other races, were toyed with and effected profoundly by the whims of this Court, and yet the outcomes would rarely be known, the wants forgotten just as quickly for new desires. Initially filled with childlike glee at his duty, and his freedom, Nyarlathotep became bitter and jaded in the face of such unchanging chaos. Cursed with intelligence, with man-like mind and desires of his own, Nyarlathotep would never be free from the nonsensical whims and forgetful minds of his creators, and found himself cursing Azathoth himself, filled with hate and spite at the chief of his progenitors.

Nyarlathotep was not alone, but in his unhappiness, he would not know it for aeons to come.

The word of Nyarlathotep, and the denizens of the Court, resulted in myriad cults springing up across the universe, unable to be counted or differentiated in their heretical beliefs. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same, until humanity grew, and became more cosmically aware than many other races. Earth had previously been home to several other races, The Great Race of Yith, the Flying Polyps, the Elder Things, and even Cthulhu himself had left their marks long before the first human left his cave on two feet; although humanity had no knowledge of what had come before, they stood on the shoulders of giants, and as such, glimpsed sights they were not meant to see.

Nyarlathotep was the first to take a fascination, in humanity. In all the races in the universe, he felt that they were the most like him, and yet infuriatingly inferior; he was smarter, more cunning, infinitely more powerful than anything the humans could count among their ranks, and yet he communicated with them with such ease. A morbid discovery was made, as an Egyptian Pharaoh named Akhenaten, swathed in gold robes and surrounded by followers, allowed his instincts to guide his hand in the creation of profane symbols, and self sacrifice; his humanity was given to Nyarlathotep, in exchange for power, and although he received life and wealth everlasting in return, Nyarlathotep himself found himself receiving the greater prize.

When glimpsing the form of God, even with their greatest efforts to appear mortal, it was almost inevitable to go entirely mad; the human mind, the limited form, was not meant to grasp such immaterial sights, glimpse such biology and color that did not exist in their world. In seizing the nebulous, abstract attribute that was humanity, Nyarlathotep assumed a human form, a swarthy, handsome man in rich clothing. This was a form humans could grasp, with ease, and with it Nyarlathotep's influence could grow; with this, his possibilities to poke and prod the course of human development increased infinitely.

Toni Eugene Magboh traded his humanity for so many sins Nyarlathotep could scarcely keep count; a man of lust, gluttony, greed, he became a deformed shapeshifter known as a Boogieman. Once a British soldier, fighting with the loyalists in America, Toni E. Magboh would live the rest of his existence in abject hedonism, only ever seeking ways to keep his wealth flowing, surrounding himself with beautiful women and delicious foods.

Nathaniel Mack traded his humanity for his life, dying in a trench, most of his face removed courtesy of a German grenade, in the Great War. He became unkillable, but did not heal from his wounds, eventually losing any ability to speak, or feel, spending his days as a mercenary, knowing no other talent.

Clarence Rigby traded his humanity for the same, a starving Irish immigrant lying in the streets of New York, taken in by the promises of a dusky man with the devil's tongue. Rigby found his body occupied, as Nyarlathotep wished; rather than creating a new form, from the traded humanity, he would take Rigby's body as needed, forcing him into a life of servitude everlasting.

Geiman Boothe traded his humanity for freedom, arrested for a myriad of child killings. A simple, ugly creature, Geiman became even uglier, becoming the second Boogieman, able to continue his killing spree everlasting, and gorging himself on the fear of the children he preyed upon.

From each sprite of humanity Nyarlathotep gained, he had a new form to walk amongst men, something material and conceivable, malleable and bursting with potential. Each form moved independant, a new iteration of Nyarlathotep to fulfil his own wants, his own desires, but his actions were noticed by the Court. Yog Sothoth, existing outside of time and space, began to manifest on occasion, a triad of glowing orbs that would appear to weak and desperate women, leaving them with wealth, and abominable child in their womb. Rituals were performed, invoking the name of Shub Niggurath, successfully tearing her from the Court of Azathoth and demanding she stand before curious humans, leaving them with her own lesser spawn, shed like skin cells, massive tree-like creatures that knew nothing other than hunting, and devouring. Hastur himself walked among men, gaining his own sources of humanity, observing and assessing the seemingly insignificant race for his own ends.

"I wish to walk among them."

Nyarlathotep was taken aback. He feigned surprise, but raged with jealousy; humanity belonged to him, and him alone. What gave the Court the right to take away one of his few sources of entertainment?

"And why do you wish this, o mighty Shub Niggurath, Mother of a Thousand Young?"

"Do not play to my ego, Crawling Chaos. They fascinate me."

"And why do they fascinate you, my Mother?"

"They rise above their station, even knowing the cost. Time and time again, they approach flame, and are burned, and yet they try again."

"They're hilariously stupid, aren't they?"

"I wish to walk among them. I wish to understand this... determination they possess."

Nyarlathotep stirred, and twisted with unease. Introducing such an immensely powerful being to such a fragile planet would surely result in its destruction, something Nyarlathotep had fantasized about doing with his own hands, in his own way. This course of action would surely get every living thing on the planet's face blown away, like dust from an old keepsake.

"This is because your old sibling, The Gate and the Key, has been spawning with human women, isn't it?"

"You irritate me, Messenger. You irritate me profoundly."

"You could attempt to touch their minds. Your progeny, the mighty Cthulhu, sleeps, and dreams in the minds of humans. In his reach, he even creates Star Spawn from-"

"This induces madness, of the immensely violent sort. When the Gods reach out, we rarely find suitable minds to sow our seeds."

"And what makes you think I'll find you a suitable vessel?"

"You will make one."

"And how would I-"

"Once again, you insult me. I am aware of how you hoard humanity, and create vessels from such a thing. Create one for me. A pure human, with no knowledge of the greater cosmos."

"Why would you want such... ignorance? Such idiocy? The average human is no better off than Azathoth. They cannot grasp what I am, let alone what you are."

"I wish to understand them, and I can only do so with the mind of a human. I wish to be born, and to grow."

"You really won't like it. It's dreadfully slow, and very ugly. Not to mention all the mess."

"Cease your speaking. It is an undesirable trait that you insist upon keeping. Allow me to be born, a small fragment of my mind, and when that vessel dies, I will understand the whole of human creation.

With no option left, Nyarlathotep abided this wish, placing an indescribably small fraction of Shub Niggurath on Earth, with a source of humanity, to be born.

She would be named Samantha.

#horror #cosmic horror #Lovecraft #Cthulhu #Azathoth #Shub Niggurath #Yog Sothoth #Nyarlathotep #Hastur

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