#even tho i dont say it yes im biting soap bc my head is fucky

[insteadoflight]

the soap

bar on my desk looks like candy, and i wonder if 

lately i’ve been feeling happy, in a way where the emotion isn’t a bubble about to pop and slam me hard into concrete but rather a swell of a wave, bringing me to sea, and when i’m riding it i forget drowning is imminent. 

i am riding the wave and i feel alive and--

nothing, nothing, nothing can stop me and 

i can bite it, and it is very soft,

drowning

is not as bad as a crash into asphalt, since there is no pain, no breaking bones. just slow drifting, surrounded by bubbles and salt and fading sunlight. 

and my teeth leave an imprint, and why not bite through the whole thing?