#even tho it’s 11pm

[prettyboysmlm]

did that just fucking happen

[jevilowo]

SO one of Sniper's character descriptions (either the one on the website or the wiki) claims that he spent his time before the gravel wars as "a tracker of dangerous game". On top of that, we know that comic 4 confirms he's about thirty in 1973, and so would have been hired at about 19/20 in 1962.

This almost seems to imply Sniper’s first actual assassination job was the gravel wars, and before that he only hunted animals. Thinking about it, that actually kind of explains stuff about his character!

In Meet the Sniper, Sniper is DETERMINEDLY professional, and won't shut up about how actually it's a Great Job and he has Ethics and a Moral Code and STANDARDS! Meanwhile in the game he's a lunatic who yells slurs at the enemy team and pisses in jars.

If we look at this erratic behaviour, one's first thought is "man they really went and retconned him for his trailer lol". If we look at it again, with the assumption that he only just started killing people like a month ago (the meet the team vids are Very Early on the timeline), it's giving

"gamer boy who has to say erm achtually gaming doesnt cause violence it improves motor skills and creativity every three seconds and then in the next breath wishes death upon whoever suggested gaming could possibly have negative effects on people"

Imagine. You are young and just got this pretty cool albeit questionable job sniping and this fuckass director and your dad have the gall to SUGGEST sniping is not in fact a good job mate?? LAY ON THE FUCKING CHARM! Tell them all the wonderful things about killing people for money, and erm achtually everything they say (youre not a crazed gunman and you dont have feelings!! Jeez).

And once they've buggered off go back to your regularly scheduled piss throwing. Who cares. It gets the job done. Get rekt.

CONCLUSION, he's sillay. And he's way more jaded in the lore comics because he's older and wiser and his parents are dead :( And he now has the maturity to genuinely stick to his moral code (as seen when he kills the classic sniper immediately and only berates him afterwards for not being professional - polite, efficient, plan to kill yadda yadda).

[topsyturvy-turtely]

turtely's OTP challenge

read day 23 "The Beekeeper and The Book Author" on ao3!

(prompt: being old together)

summary: Beautiful. Quiet. Nice.

Gen, 360 Words, Retirement. John Watson's blog, Fluff.

✨imagine this little baby but 40 years older✨

or read it on tumblr:

✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑

Dear readers,

This will be my very last blog entry. I don’t even know if you young people still read ‘blog entries’ – this is for the people who have followed my blog from years ago, really. Maybe this will be a nice surprise for you.

Here is a little update on our life: Sherlock and I married in the year of 2024. It was a beautiful ceremony, small but meaningful. Not many people – neither of us ever really was a ‘people person’.

We continued our detective work until Sherlock turned 67 years old. I don’t really know how we managed with little Rosie, but we did. She turned out to be one of the most intelligent scientists in Britain and both of us are extremely proud of her.

After Sherlock finally retired we moved to a cottage in the countryside. It is beautiful here. Quiet. Nice. Words, the young Sherlock Holmes would have despised. Let me tell you now, that this man has the softest and biggest heart, you could imagine. He always has had it, he just didn’t show – to protect himself, I believe.

I am getting side tracked… Sherlock is a beekeeper now. He loves bees as if they were his own children. Puts all his research into bees as well. Even sells honey, my old boy. I am proud of him. Really, I am.

Skdico ,kjdkojoaoooooooooppposipoi

I apologise, I got distracted by a white haired and bearded (oh, yes he wears a beard now – I quite like it…) cat purring into my ear. He told me to mention my books. So, I will because otherwise this gorgeous lfjklalaaaa

Where were we? Oh, yes my books. What is there to say? I turned my blog into a book. Book series, really. You can buy the books on Amazon – just search for “Sherlock Holmes Books” and they will be suggested. It’s funny, they sell as if Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had written them himself. Which of course, he didn’t, they are all written by ordinary old me, Dr. John Watson.

So this is us. Retired consulting detective and doctor, now beekeeper and book author.

It is beautiful. Quiet. Nice.

✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑✒︎✑

comment on ao3!

tags under the cut :)

tag list! (tell me if you wanna be added or removed please 💚) @justanobsessedpan @helloliriels @catlock-holmes @inevitably-johnlocked @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @so-youre-unattached-like-me @totallysilvergirl @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @musingsofmyown @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @francj15 @ladylindaaa @we-r-loonies @mxster-jocale @sherlockcorner @noahspector @our-stars-graveside @jobooksncoffee @baker-street-blog @macgyvershe @myladylyssa @battledress @a-victorian-girl @dreamerofthemeadow @oetkb12 @ohnoesnotagain @mutedsilence @jawnscoffee @raenchaosandcozyadashofmurder @lisbeth-kk @quickslvxrr @compact-and-beautiful @kabubsmagga @sunshineinyourmind @booksoversleep @startrekker2011

[thaylepo]

hubris

I've been super into repotting all my propogating houseplants and growing seeds from grocery store fruit for shits and giggles this summer.

Pictured are my many lil jade plant babies, my red currant tree that has survived and regrown from someone (not me) putting it into a storage unit for winter while it was still green and leafing (pro tip: make sure ppl caring for your potted trees while you are off in a different town for college know not to heckin do that), and my lil baby dragonfruit cacti in their Humidity Bins because it is dry as a popcorn fart where I live.

(Another pro tip: don't forget to open the bins, as pictured properly here, when placing them outside in the morning sun for some good good UV -- this avoids literally steam-cooking your poor innocent baby cacti. That one's on me. I won't show you a pic of the resulting carnage, but suffice to say about half survived. Luckily dragonfruit seeds are super easy to germinate like this and can be bought in the literal thousands for the low low price of 7.99 per a single fruit at safeway.)

But by far the most consequential of this summer's fucking around and finding out is this:

Context: So the downstairs bathroom where I live has a dried flower arrangement in it (i live with a lady in her 60s, it is her house). Said flower arrangement includes these:

(apologies to anyone with trypophobia.)

These are lotus seed pods, for those who do nor know. Large ones. These ones are only a bit smaller than the palm of my hand, and they come from this flower:

(Unsourced pinterest photo with live human being for scale. Note the corresponding palm-sized seed pods.)

Five days ago I found one of the seeds from these pods on the bathroom floor, idly looked up some how-to instructions, and I think you have all you need to put the rest of this story together.

After only two days in water, I was forced to confront what I, primarily a succulant and cactus grower, might have gotten myself into.

Some people are born great, some acheive greatness, and others fuck around with seeds from a tropical water plant that have been known to still germinate after 200 years without thinking of what exactly they'll do if it actually grows, and find themselves unprepared for the responsibility of what will become the water-garden version of Jack's fucking beanstalk.

I'm naming it Audrey II. Updates will follow.

[alukaforyou]

this is very funny to me personally 🤪 ref pic here u kno the one

[simpjaes]

fuck u for having a better time than me

[driedmosquito]

mfs dont even say bless you anymore they just look at u like this

[twicethetrouble]

Surprise Proud Family Tradition update b/c i ended up editing instead of actually writing again!

[totally-femme]

<3

[lovphobic]

anyways i try to go back to sleep soon. just wanna finish my drink and video

[abstractlesbian]

I think the routine my new job is giving me has been really good for my mental health but it's funnier to say Ive been too tired to be mentally ill

[possiblytracker]

me (only sober one in the conversation but tired out of my mind and equally lacking a filter): i thibk my.friends are mad at me

one of the five absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousins also sitting round the campfire at the family gathering, taking it in turns to drink straight out a huge bottle of costco margarita mix where the adults are pretending not to see at 11pm on a sunday night: bruhhh have you tried going into the woods and hitting things with a big stick til you feel better

another absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousin: i wish someone would hit ME with a big stick til I feel better :(

[httpiastri]

you’re kidding… it can’t snow in october…

oh sweetheart, it sure can

didn't expect it to stay on the ground but it did in some places.... for example, the soccer field i walked past last night 😶

[lesbicastagna]

this thesis is taking everything from me like i can't even remember when i last jacked off. i'm no longer a human being

[kuromi-hoemie]

i am such a girl who's always in the mood to do her loudest hobbies at midnight

[dayz-ina-daze]

When I was little I used to give the bug trainers in Pokémon so much shit… Little me hated them, used to specifically delight in killing all their little buggies for the sake of “free xp” with all my overleveled edgy little guys

But I recently found my old copy of Pkm White, and wanted to challenge myself with a solo type run just for the fun of it… and I realized… most of my favorite Pokémon now… are bug types…… So obviously I chose that one lol

Venipede is my favorite Pokémon of all time, then Joltik and then Dewpider. Just some silly little buggie guys. The bug trainers were so correct when they would talk about the joy their buggies brought them