#even tho theres some stuff wrong with this ​i dont think this can get any better lol

[journen]

My roommate said I should draw Obi-Wan just having a really bad day lol. “Everything goes wrong. Gets kidnapped, meets a sith, ship gets blown up, etc… and he’s terribly frustrated by the end”.

I imagine in this drawing, it’s after his long awful day and he has somehow stumbled his way back to the temple concussed, in his blood and dirt clad shredded tunic, belt somehow long lost so he’s carrying his lightsaber in hand. All the clones / Jedi who are gathered in this conference room turn to the doorway, see him and are like “Obi-Wan?! What happened?!” and Obi plays it off like it’s totally normal, delivers them some important intel he recently learned, and them prompty passes out lol.

[puhpandas]

plural anon from earlier figured id offer some info since you mentioned wanting to learn! obvious preface that im not an expert and this is just from my experience and what ive learned from others :) everyones experiences vary and im definitely not the be all end all lol

also this may get long, its a bit of an infodump! ^^;

i figured first id explain some of the stuff i said. i refer to myself as “plural” mostly, and said “plural system” as system is more often used from what ive seen, and plural offers more context to me. its honestly up to the person what they want to be referred to with. plural, plural system, plural person, just system, a collective, a group, there are probably more but those are the main ones i can think of!

also i should probably clarify, i said “pseudo-plurality” referring to the in-universe rab and vanny, as it isnt really confirmed whether that is an act put on by glitchtrap/will/mimic, or vanessa, or something, or if its actually a separate person. (i like to think of them as headmates/alters, but given that they are villains some folks dont want to which is also fair! it was very common to use the “evil alter” trope in horror so it can definitely put people on edge and rub them the wrong way. i like to explore and see this concept explored, but obviously with the headmates being actual people, not just boiled down to “ooo evil alter” for scare factor. i read a fic once where vanny was formed as a response to williams invasion and manipulation to protect vanessa, which is way more interesting to me than the evil alter trope!)

also, i should warn with the previous paragraph, if you do ever explore the idea of rab or vanny being opposition to gregory and vanessa, some people might get upset even if you are doing it well. unfortunately its the internet and theres a lot of bad rep out there and a lot of mean people. im sure you know the drill tho.

more general thing, some systems prefer to say headmates, some prefer alters, some prefer other words, some just refer to them as their friends or as the others. its dependent on the person! and the “main” person is called the host usually, or the core, typically the core ive seen used for systems who consider themselves to be “facets” of that core. my underdtanding of facets is that theyre more like branches off the host, rather than fully separate (ive seen some people use “admin” or other similar words too tho lol). the host is often said to be the “original” person, in the case of gregory and vanessa, those two would be the hosts, and rab and vanny would be alters/headmates/etc. but hosts dont HAVE to be the original person, it can change. i dont know the exacts of what makes a host a host, but from my understanding its basically a role someone has. and not every system uses roles or falls into them, for example id argue that the daycare attendant has “roles” in their system (moon takes care of naptime, sun takes care of playtime) but lacks an actual designated host, possibly because they dont really feel a need for one and just work(ed) as a unit.

on the topic of the daycare attendant, some plural folk will use a collective name or a “singletsona” (singlet just referring to a nonplural individual) of sorts. the daycare attendant has a collective name, which is, yk, “the daycare attendant” as it can refer to any/all of them. and rab sort of used gregory as a singletsona as opposed to telling his friends hes rab (sort of. he did use it as a pen name). in the same vein, there are also global pronouns, first person pronouns, and collective pronouns (these are the best ways i can simplify them lol).

global pronouns - for us anyways - are pronouns everybody can be referred to with. for us, our main global pronoun is it/its.

first person pronouns is just, how the person talks when referring to themself/themselves. i/me, us/we, and a mix of both. some systems only use plural first person pronouns when referring to the system/multiple folks in the system, some just always use we/us, some use i/me regardless, as usually it depends on the system and some stuff i havent even gone into. and for collective pronouns, its similar to the global pronoun thing, except its just the system as one entity’s pronouns. often it is the plural or singular they/them, we personally like plural and singular it/its for our system. its kinda like the bodys pronouns, which is why it can be singular to me. i hope thst made sense!

oh before i cut myself off i should probably mention switching. i dont switch out really so i cant provide much here but some systems experience amnesia/time loss/etc, some dont, but like i said i cant give you much because i dont switch out. im sure someone else can help with that ^^;

this ask is already very very long, so i wont go into other stuff like monoconscious, polyconscious, co-conscious, co-fronting, being frontstuck, sticky front, headspace/inner world, system origins(which will inevitably include system discourse thing unfortunately), headmate sources, source memories, introjects…… theres a Lot and i dont think i would even have enough characters to send an ask with everything i know

i hope this wasnt way overdoing it, i learned a lot from prior to and after i learned i was plural because i enjoy researching topics like this, and sharing the information i know is fun!

also you said you werent feeling well, hope you feel better soon!

thank you for the info anon! it helped a lot to understand more and was very insightful! I appreciate all you put into this!!

[crowcryptid]

A bad tutorial on how to rip the models + animations from ultrakill and put them in blender

Note: Im using a blender addon to import the models, this is because fbx import is kinda broken by default in blender. The addon Im using is called better fbx importer and exporter. Its paid, but there are other ways to get it. Try without the addon first. If it doesnt work, DM me for a link.

This is NOT a blender tutorial. k? pls dont ask me blender questions.

You will need: Blender (free), AssetStudio (free), and if you want to make gifs, some sort of program like photoshop. I'm not explaining how to render things or make gifs.

ok. Begin.

Go to your install of ultrakill and copy the file path.

Open asset studio and click LOAD FOLDER. Not any of the other ones. Paste the path to your ultrakill FOLDER. Not any of the folders inside that folder, just use the whole thing. Then. Wait. If you dont have enough ram, this wont work. If your pc isnt great this will probably freeze up. If that happens, sorry not much I can do.

Once its all loaded, go to "asset list", then under filter type select "animator" and "animationclip". Search for what model you want. In this case, theres a lot. I dont remember which one i used but most of them should work. Some may have extra stuff attached, like swords.

right click the animator and click "go to scene hierarchy"

Select it. Again, this isn't a blender tut so the model you grab may be incomplete, for ex: sisyphus and minos have separate parts for their hearts/veins and sisyphus has a unique head made of 3 parts. Im sorry I wont be explaining all that :p This is just a basic guide. Experiment and you'll get it eventually.

BTW you can grab his weapon models but I havent figured out how to include them with the animations yet. If its even possible, idk.

Now for the annoying part. Finding the animation. If you just search for gabriel, you'll notice only 3 come up. I suggest sorting only by "animationclip" (do not use the search bar) and trying to find one. If you grab an animation for someone else, it wont work. This is just trial and error. For ease, I will be using the one called ZweiCombo (not ZweiDash despite the pic, i fucked up lol), I know this one belongs to gabe cause he is the only one with swords, well besides swordsmachine but you get what I mean..

Ok, now create a folder somewhere and name it.

Under model, use "export selected objects (merge) + selected animationclips" and export it all to the folder you made.

Now open blender and import the fbx file. If you press spacebar you should see something move. If it doesnt work then um.. you either grabbed the wrong animation, wrong model, or the fbx import got fucked. Trial and error. The textures also may be missing but again, this is not a blender tutorial. You can search that up, but to find textures if they didnt export at all, use filter type "texture2d" and search the character, you should be able to find all their textures. Some exceptions tho. For ex: gabes wings are named like "t_wings.png"

done :]

There are other ways to grab the model, by grabbing the "mesh" not the "animator". I think works both ways, as far as I can tell?

EDIT: Forgot to mention that, as far as I know, you can only have 1 animation attached to the model you exported. This is why we made a folder. So if you want 5 animations from the same character, create 5 folders and export the model 5 times with a different animation selected each time. If an animation doesn’t work, I recommend just deleting everything you exported and starting again.

[ranidspace]

"I cant switch to firefox because..."

"It's too much effort to switch"

If you install firefox, it will ask if you want to import your browsing history, bookmarks, saved passwords*, and in a as of october of this year your extensions as well.

*dont use your browsers built in password manager. they're very much not as secure, even firefox's. read about passwords here

You can't import cookies for security reasons, but external tools can do that for you (try to avoid this. if you do have some data you need moved over, usually websites have their own "export data as file" option)

Everything else that you may need to fully complete the switch will come up naturally over time, the initial setup can be half an hour, or if you're happy with how it is at the start, less than 5 minutes.

"They don't support [website]"

Firefox is entirely up to date on current HTML, CSS, and Javascript standards. Theres a bunch of websites that compare all the features that firefox supports compared to chrome and stuff and they're often just, wrong? I've used some MANY of the features that firefox supposedly doesn't support. Plus they're constantly updating it for added support of new and old features. anything they refuse to add is due to security reasons, and nobody uses those features anyway.

In my experience i've never had to switch to chrome to avoid a website breaking. Sometimes it was because of an extension* but thats a very easy fix. Firefox has profiles built in and really good troubleshooting features.

*(stop using privacy badger/possum, please, it's built into firefox now, most of all privacy addons are completely useless because firefox already does it for you!!! ublock is safe tho i love u bbg)

If a site tells you "switch to chrome to see this site as intended" they're lying, and you can use a user agent switcher to trick them into thinking you're on chrome

"i need chrome for work or school"

i'd say 4 times out of 5 you don't, they say you have to use it but in reality it's just that they have better control over what you can do with it.

My high school had a shit ton of extensions automatically installed on chrome, including some shit that was literally spyware, it reported to teachers and staff all of your tabs you have open at any given time, and they could force shutoff tabs and force things open. They had absolutely no control or ability to monitor me when i switched to firefox, and there werent any problems that arose from it.

You can also just use chrome for school/work and use firefox for your personal web browser. separate your work life and personal life, you can do this with two different firefox profiles as well.

"I don't like change"

The only thing that's different about firefox in a day to day usage is the bar at the top, which is entirely customizable. Right click, customize toolbar, and you can mess around with it to make it the same layout as chrome. you can also get rid of those weird empty spaces to the left of the search bar they add by default for some reason. mozilla pls fix. You can further use themes to make it even look even more similar to chrome, I did that with my school profile to differentiate them.

When I switched, there wasn't anything I missed, I didn't have any of the "ugh i dont like how [blank] is in a different spot", or "ugh they dont have [this]". it just worked. It's a web browser, it works and does everything it needs to be. I didn't miss chrome at all, nothing felt different and the adjustment period to the new browser was LESS than what i felt when chrome updated the design in 2018.

"I have no reason to switch"

If you care about privacy at all (which you should), i could list hundreds of reasons why you should switch. Google removed "don't be evil" from their code of conduct for god sake lmao. Every new change they do is a ploy to get as much data from you and feed you as many ads as possible.

The dumping of Manifest V2/dynamic filtering not only makes most adblockers useless, it makes any sort of content blocking worse. Blocking trackers, malware, intrusive and annoying website features, these are things ublock does for you which chrome is doing its best to get you to stop doing. They want you to be exposed to predatory ads and malware so they can get more money.

If you have issues with ram usage and performance issues, firefox includes a lot of (lesser known) features to monitor RAM and CPU usage. While it seems as it may use more RAM, it automatically releases it when more ram is needed by other programs, effectively using less. It also uses much less ram in total in cases where there's 10+ tabs open.

Firefox can automatically block sites from auto-playing videos whenever you go on them

As mentioned firefox has so many more customization features than chrome, allowing you theme and move around everything to your hearts content

While on desktop, Chrome and Firefox are very close in functionality, on mobile, Firefox is working to add full extension support to mobile, it already has a small catalogue of extensions you can use, such as uBlock Origin. It has all of the desktop privacy features as well.

Firefox, only has about 3% of the market share. Other than that, chromium controls over 70% of all browsers, with apple controlling over 20%. The less people use firefox, the more control TWO companies have on the very act of using the internet. The Mozilla Foundation is a fully non-profit organization, with full ownership over the mozilla corporation, they don't have shareholders, and prioritize an open, safe, and private internet. Don't let them die.

"but what about..."

there's probably other reasons but the last of my advice:

you can have multiple browsers at once, install firefox and don't get rid of chrome. try firefox, see if there's anything you don't like, and try to fix it, and whenever you feel the need to, you can go back to the browser you already had.

[trashworldblog]

i think the "nice doing business with you" line from the s5 finale is definitely going to have significance to season 6. there are too many examples of innocuous lines that end up being foreshadowing to overlook it. it's also a general rule of genies that they can't bring things back from the dead, so i think that's going to end up playing into whatever the "deal" with ryan was. the genie could've said it was against the rules to bring prof back, so ryan made another deal to get him back (1/2)

[i think there's also going to be a conflict with time travel in season 6. it's such an integral part of the show, and ryan definitely screwed the timeline by bringing prof and his family back. if we hadn't seen the article with the photo of the prof and his parents' fossils, then i would be a little less convinced of this, but because its explicitly shown onscreen, its very likely that something will go wrong with the timeline (2/2)

oh i also think that the substitute survived defenestration, but i think he's going to be a minor antagonist next season. just a nuisance, if you will. like yeah he's still a problem, but there are much bigger fish to fry than a 1'2" puppet hologram with an obsession with murder (3/3)]

...

sorry for taking so long!! this has been sitting in my drafts and ive been slowly pulling my thoughts together on this so its taken me some time!! (plus ive been chillin with the holidays and such) i appreciate this ask so much!

!disclaimer! i may accidentally pull from shane's commentary on the season finale on pateron. im doing my best not to because i know some people dont have access to patreon content. (plus its fun to make it more challenging) all puppet history lore is like marbles in my brain and its hard to separate what ideas came from where. im doin my best tho!

ok lets jump into it!

i am So. Curious. on how ryan and the genies whole deal is gonna shake out. was that it? will there be consequences? i have a feeling we'll be seeing some kind of fallout from this wish. it feels like they cut their conversation very short for a very specific reason. theres gotta be something going on there.

I think that ryan didnt *technically* wish the professor back to life, he just wished the professor back to the present. i also like the idea used in @ask-the-substitute that ryan used his 3 wishes to bring the professor back and thats how the profs mom and dad got to the present. its so perfect, i love it. just the idea of ryan thinking the first wish didnt work so then he tried again, and again. incredible.

i am curious if there is gonna be any time travel conflict! im not sure what that would look like (my brain kinda melts when it comes to timey wimey bullshit). honestly this is the part im the most unsure of. like theyre probably is consequences, but i dont even know where to start for what that would look like. i still like to think that the article showing the professor's family's bones just faded away like how people in photos did in back to the future.

the substitute ABSOLUTELY survived the defenestration!! watcher hq is one story and im slightly convinced the substitute cant die (unless we go by hot daga hologram logic, in that case you would need a witch and a volcano to kill most holograms [and i dont have a volcano handy])

i hope the substitute turns into either

1) a minor villan thats more annoying/funny then anything.

2) character redemption arc. we really like this funky guy and it would be cool to see him chill out with the stabby stabby. (just a little, he can stabby stabby as a treat)

now it would be REALLY FUNNY if the substitute did ad reads for future seasons Especially for nord vpn and other online security stuff.

i think the bigger fish to fry is gonna be those puppets trapped in the wonderium arena!! we gotta get them outta there and back into their earthly bodies!! how is that gonna happen??? god is asleep, the devil isnt gonna help, and neither is the genie. how the hell do you even get to a purgatory like that? dorthy ruth has moved on even though her husband isnt really dead!!!

what im really curious about for next season is

1) who is gonna be the musical guest. if the professor cant time travel, where is he gonna get his musical talents? will he reuse the substitutes tech to make guests?

2) any new stuff to go with our new professor??

3) are dino mom and dad gonna be involved? casually mentioned? i really hope a guest asks if the professor has a family just so that he can excitedly say "yes!! i do :D"

those are most of my thoughts going into s6! pretty excited to see what next season is going to look like! not sure if its gonna be lore heavy. ill be keeping an eye peeled for any hints 👀 either way, im excited to learn :)

[sunfish999]

Omg pls,,,, teach me about hi3rd 😭

ACTUALLY?????? bro ik idk what hoyov was thinking but i literally could not understand like half the game mechanics (and still dont) they even make way better tutorials than genshin for characters and stuff but im still like ‘what is this for’ etc etc but im totally willing to help🥺 especially cuz when i first started i built the best supports at that time and now theres tons of new supports that replace them😭 anyways send ur uid when u make ur account or whatever hehe

also tips rn: idk if u played hsr but theres a similar starter supply/wish called dorm supply that u get a lot of free supply cards for as u complete the story (supply card=fates=starrail pass) so dont spend ur crystals on dorm supply (also a lot of people ‘reroll’ their account if they dislike the starter S valkyrie they get, i got rozaliya who isn’t great without unlocking her augment core but I didnt reroll tho cuz i didnt think about it plus i got palatinus equinox pretty early on who carried me.

best S valks to get on dorm supply imo would be azure empyrea, stygian nymph, or herrscher of thunder but u can make do with a lot of others too.

best support/SP valks to get fragments of in the basic currency shop: starry impression and golden diva and now terminal aide (i swear by haxxor bunny but shes gonna be outclassed by a new valk kira in a bit) basically all the valks from pardofelis to prometheus are doing really good damage if u have some of their gear and are the newest sp characters

THIS UPDATE: currently u have dreamweaver (hot white haired spear mommy) who is a physical dps and should be pretty decent so if ur a simp shes here for another 20+ days. also unlike genshin it’s much easier to get a characters gear (weapon + 3 stigmata) so i recommend pulling in that if u get the character early (which happens frequently but not too frequently bc herrscher ely came to me SO late i only got one stig) OH dreamweaver also is the first spear character and idk if theres much for craftables so definitely go for her spear

hhhhh that was so much information and covered like nothing lmk if u actually play im totally willing to answer questions as u play😭🫶

also to other players if any of my info is wrong plz correct me lol bc i also need help😖

[driedupeyeballs]

30 for the twst ask thing!!

30. What’s your hottest Twst take?

Got a little out of hand here

Honestly idk if I have any hot takes I’m vanilla as fuck

Shipping Rugkali is my hottest take 😔 /j

Idk I’ll try??

Ok I’m like. The bigggest fucking Scarabia fan to an obnoxious degree and I am very passionate abt the fact that there was no villain in that arc and both kalim and Jamil were neither in the right nor in the wrong but I feel like that isn’t super controversial?? Also I could probably talk abt book four for multiple hours unending so let’s not open tjat can of worms

I do have some ship takes that would get me hung at the gallows by certain ppl tho like I do NOT like Leomal or jamikali rlly any rook ship (I don’t mind rookvil I actually kinda like it but anything else is HWEEh *chill runs down my body* but that may just be bcuz I don’t like rook-)

Is not liking rook a hot take?? I know I’m not the only rook hater in this shit. Ok I don’t hate him but like. HES WEIRD. HES WEIRD AND I DONT LIKE HIM. OR HIS HAIR

I DONT LIKE SEBEK EITHER THERES A TAKE

He has grown on me I will admit he has definitely grown on me (also I haven’t played book 7 yet) BUT unfortunately he is also annoying 💔

I got way off topic there but yeah ship takes I don’t get why Leomal and jamikali are like some of the most popular ships cuz like I love a good enemies/rivals to lovers just as much as the next guy but Leomal just… the vibes… the vibes are off

And don’t even get me STARTED on jamikali AAAA their dynamic is so interesting as like a non romantic thing and I am so fascinated by them I love fics of them that don’t ship them esp angst IF YOU HAVE ANY NON SHIP SCARABIA FIC RECS GIVE THEM TO ME IMMEDIATELY

OK WAIT I KNOW WHAT MY HOTTEST TAKE IS

I do not find Malleus particularly attractive. Like I love his character so much and he’s so like ack I wanna eat him and like. Have a long philosophical discussion w him and I definitely see the appeal w fanart n stuff but his canon design just doesn’t do it for me… idk why cuz like he doesn’t have any archetypes or design choices i dislike like generally I love long haired characters n like the tall dark and handsome type and horns n whatnot idk what it is abt him??? And even in some of his card arts I can see it like his broomquet groovy and he is OBJECTIVELY pretty jsut not like anymore than most of the other cast imo??? Maybe it’s just his live2d??? Idk idk I love malleus but I just don’t think he’s as hot as everyone considers him? Am I gonna be hung? Crucified? Idk. This was a rant and a half thanks for coming

[kil9]

re: the taemin thing (sorry im so annoying about this but i feel you wanna talk about it as much as me!). i wanted to mention his blinking habit too, but as someone who is not autistic myself (not diagnosticated at least lmao) i was afraid it was just me making assumption but you noticed it to so!!! cool. anyway i could say many more things but the line between being just a strange little dude and being a strange little autistic dude is so thin!!! (like the fact that he eats random stuff at unlikely times of the day or that he's so forgetful). ANYWAY!!!!!! i just really love him and how shinee adapts their behaviour around him to make sure hes comfortable

YES ur never annoying i absolutely wanna talk abt it forever 🥺🥺

(this got kinda long so im putting it in the readmore lol)

but yeah the blinking habit for real !!! ur definitely not wrong to pick up on that ! (i even sponged it from him sometimes lol x_x) its cool that non autistic ppl have an interest in this stuff tbh :3 i think that more ppl understanding autism and all the weird specifics of it is rly the key to our happiness ykno 🤔because most non autistic ppl know literally. jack shit.

also the eating thing YEAH 😭😭 thats also so autism to me. shinee is so good to him !!!! u can tell that even if they dont know WHY he is the way he is, that theyve figured out how he works and how to treat him....

there was such a moment in the 15m thing when key was asking taemin to "prepare" the veggies... and taemin got such a look of dread where hes like "what...... wdym.. ?" & kibum has to be like "CUT THEM taemin" lol 💀💀 its such a silly moment but its SOO quintessential to me for both what its like to be autistic (ie: what the fuck are u saying to me "prepare" this. as if im supposed to know what that means), and what its like to be close with an autistic person (kibum having to kinda remember to "translate" what hes saying for taemin so he knows what hes talking about, it reminds me of how my partner is with me sometimes 🥺)

also back to when im saying they probably dont know why he is the way he is, even if they know all his ins and outs, i think this is probably the same for taemin 🤔 he strikes me as someone who prob doesnt know hes autistic, just knows hes "weird" and "different" and has figured out how to live like that despite. reminds me of myself kind of, cos i wasnt "diagnosed" (used loosely) until maybe 19 ? which is still young but at that point i had already been thru school and everything not knowing x_x its definitely possible to figure your life out & how you work without a diagnosis, and i think it happens all the time, but its also really really hard. i think having a name for it and something u can actually research & learn about is rly helpful. so even tho hes like 30 now im still kinda always hoping he realises 🤔 if it makes his life that much easier ykno ?

this is also why it pisses me off so much that ppl get THAT up in arms when this is brought up. ppl act like falsely "accusing" someone of being autistic will ruin their life, when really its basically harmless (obviously unless ur directly using it as an insult). even the opposite might be true 🤷‍♂️ someone can rly benefit from realising about themselves. also why im so pro self dx !!! even if everyone is "misdiagnosing" themselves these days (🙄 which prob isnt true anyway) like. whats the worst that could happen ? why does it matter if someone is wrong... they might still find some info that will help them 🤷‍♂️ theres not really any autism "resources" that are in scarcity so i dont rly care if someone thinks they are even if theyre not ?

[ajdrawshq]

Is there any non-spoilery way you could talk about how isat isn't just about timeloops? because like I do want to check the game out eventually for sure if only because indie fun times but I'm busy for a while before I get the time and tbh I'm just not as curious because I don't know how it's gonna break that formula (also ngl no colors makes me lose 50% interest because I like. looking at colors. lots.)

UHM OK WELL UM. hm. how DO i do this without spoiling anything. im very not good at describing things especially things i Really enjoy so how do i put this . hold on i might need to look at some reviews so i know how to words. ok

as a disclaimer i havent fully interacted with a lot of (if any??) media that has timeloops so i cant say for certain what it does differently from similar media that makes it stand out from others. at the same time ive never seen something that is so directly About Timeloops in this way even if i consider stuff ive heard about in passing but i could be wrong (madoka n utena come to mind ?). ill try to think abt the things that arent Just timeloop related plus the stuff u mentioned and hope that helps it feel more interesting and less generic?

i think one of the main things i can say is that it Really makes you feel what the protagonist is feeling. more than anything ive ever watched or played or whatever . and thats saying a LOT given how much i empathize with protags in games. and its not even just an empathy thing here. both the story progression and the gameplay work in such a way that you experience pretty much everything the same way they do, while still having their own personal stuff u can learn about of course

on that note tho. that is actually something to be careful of for a few reasons. i know ur generally pretty good with darker content so i doubt thatll be a problem for u here (its not that bad tbh but there is IS a warning when u open the game/look at the steam page and it aint lying) but. due to the nature of timeloops. it CAN get tiring and this is very much intended. and this helps a lot w the story and themes in a way that its. like. think how kh days does repetition on purpose. its a lot like that (although i had way easier of a time getting thru isat than days? i cant remember how u feel abt days' gameplay but i think it was positive ? either way getting thru isat was way more bearable than days imo). it does do a good job at balancing this with a couple mechanics that mean u dont have to repeat everything all the time (i had like. Very few actual full loops by the time i finished) and theres ALWAYS new things happening, even if ur super thorough with everything. its pretty easy to do things at whatever pace u feel like and if u wanna focus on the main story only to make it easier it wouldnt take too much away from the experience (tho i do encourage talking to the npcs at least a few times), and theres always a goal to work towards. also dialogue skipping and the banana peel are ur best friends

sort of adding onto that. it really, really helps that u are sharing the experience with the protagonist. not only does that help u relate to them (even if u dont share as many traits w them as i do akvdjsn) but theyre probably the most beloved character in the game and for good reason!! its really fun to see their interactions with the rest of the main cast and the npcs, and watch them all develop in different ways throughout the game. and my goodness all of the characters are beautifully written - at first ur kinda thinking ok its a ragtag group of sillies in an rpg whats new. but their personalities and relationships and hobbies and problems and everything about them is just so well done.. they feel so natural. human even. every conversation feels real to me. one of the main themes of the game is the concept of change, and each of them represent and approach it differently, both positively and negatively. its hard not to fall in love with them as individuals and as a group because they just have so much going on, even the ones i didnt expect to like at all!!

the worldbuilding is also a fun spin on fantasy rpg worlds. it mostly revolves around the area u play in bc well. of course it does. but its vv interesting to learn about all the different cultures within the world and how they interact with and build on the themes of the game. theres all sorts of queer stuff going on and its all handled like a love letter to people who relate, and i can feel it even with what i dont relate to at all!! the way "magic" works and the ways people use it in battle and everyday life is super cool too, makes the whole thing feel a lot more believable and realistic :3 i dont wanna talk abt any specifics bc its more fun to learn abt this stuff ingame

OH AND THE TEXT.. EFFECTS?.. idk what to call that but the way dialogue (both internal and external) is written and programmed is funky as hell (affectionate). it was weird at first bc oftentimes (mostly for humor) its like. almost the way i type actually?? which feels strange in a legit game but it Works. it works so well and adds tone and vibes and a Voice in a way u usually cant get in a game without any voice acting. deltarune is also good at that but this one does it differently enough for me to consider it unique

HAVE I MENTIONED THE ART STYLE i love the art style . its so charming and expressive especially all the talking sprites n battle portraits. simultaneously silly n adorable while fully capable of being serious. and creepy. anyway look at the sillies i love them n their designs dearly (especially Siffrin (1st on the left) and Mirabelle (2nd on the left))

also on that note, the lack of colors....... i both totally understand being put off by that (i also love looking at colors n this part made me feel weird abt it when i was thinking abt getting it at first) and personally enjoy it? without saying anything spoilery (bc its really not), its just another part of the worldbuilding and themes that i now find really fun :3 should be noted that i usually have an anti blue light filter so it mightve been easier to look at w the yellowish tint going on. maybe it even looks better that way ? kinda reminded me of old films now that i think abt it.. neat!!

as a last thing i couldnt quite insert somewhere else. it is equal parts a comedy and a tragedy, and it is so, so effective at accomplishing this. the humor is fantastic and adds to the games' and characters' personality, every tragic moment is . for lack of a better word or phrase. absolutely fucking delicious. and i adore how well it can shift from one to the other gradually or in an instant, or just be both at once!!!! yippee!!!!!!!

aaand thats all i can say. i have no idea if that cleared anything up BUT i encourage u to give it a try bc i do think youd like it in the end. u probably wouldnt finish it as fast as i did but that might be a good thing jfbskndj but yeah!!!! in stars and time!!!!!! its good and i love it!!!!!!!!

[bonesandthebees]

trying to put some thoughts together before new chapter (its just what I can get of the top of my head, but most stuff is always in my comments)

finally caught up with glass after summer, it took me quite a while bc im bad at reading emotional stuff, I read a bit, get overwhelmed with emotions, close it, go back, unintentionally skim read forward, get overwhelmed again, go back and try and read it properly, repeat many times lmao

it was so fun to read tho

with them actually having a plan now its easier to realise that the end is getting near, but it still feels like yesterday when glass started

overthrowing schlatt sounds exciting I the more I think about it the more and more scared I get

first off theres obviously the vision, which seems to be happening in the palace and to me is implying that wilbur was supposed to be with tommy and lost him in the chaos

which gets even worse when you factor in tommys curse

and they are very dependent on eret whose character has a reputation with traitors (im betting on them being "afraid" of visions and the fact it wont really gain then anything I can think of, but its always a possibility)

and than we got techno looking at the deathlings and taking that as a reassurment that they wont be kissing any royal asses is making me think if thats true

now in glass most of the deathlings are pretty anarchistic in nature or at least wont settle for not being outlawed anymore

but if you just took a group of outlaws who are trying to survive and had someone make them not illegal anymore there are definitely some that would just take the ability to live normally and not try to fight for anarchy anymore

also not being outlawed doesnt mean people wont discriminate anymore

and ofc as techno is saying theyre fighting government with another government, who knows what position theyll end up in

BUT, all of that doesnt feel like its actually still part of this story, bc this is still wilburs story, not the deathlings'

(not really affecting anything, but what if new people will want to join, thats a possibility, tho I have no idea how that would work)

now im not saying I think they shouldnt do anything (dont think thats even a possibility with the collapse the country is experiencing), closed in the temple and having to steal to survive, always hunted, thats barely living, but it just feels more safe, more familiar, easier (in reality thats me living in denial bc wilbur is safe from being forced into a role in there)

1/2

I don't blame you for falling behind lol glass got very intense the past few chapters and it's totally understandable to need a breather from that. there's a LOT of emotions going on in that fic

ikr it's crazy to me that we're already near the end of glass

yeah this whole invasion plan has a lot of things that can go wrong. the vision, the curse, eret, the deathlings being anarchists- what's it gonna be? something's gotta give lol

the deathlings would be in a very strange spot if the coup goes according to plan and death worship is legalized once again. what will they even be classified as then? because they're not just a religious group, they are an organized political activist (and terrorist) group at the same time and that's not exactly something they're just going to brush aside. but like you pointed out, thats the deathling's story, not wilbur's.

[emailsquid]

ok spiderman p5 au thing that infests my brain is coming out

mostly based on ultimate spiderman and spiderverse since those are the 2 im super familiar with.

akira is spider-man obviously. after getting sent to tokyo because of the normal p5 reasons he gets bitten by a radioactive spider and gets the normal spider powers (proportional strength, spider sense, heightened agility), with the addition of being able to get a better read on people's thought process (i dont think spiders can actually do this but i wanted to reference the personas in some way) and induce a low level of delusion in other people, making them more likely to tell the truth with a spider toxin thing. you know the deal i can make shit up. hes initially unwilling to be spider-man until stuff really gets bad with kamoshida, and then is only willing to do it whilst disguised to avoid fucking up his criminal record even more. loves actually being spiderman tho.

sojiro is almost unchanged except stuff with wakaba is different but hes still gruff but comes to love akira in more or less the same way as in p5. hates when theres supervillain fights outside his cafe (oops)

ryuji learn's akira's secret immediately and encourages him to be a hero, partly bc he thinks its cool, partly because he thinks he has a responsibility to use his powers for justice of some kind, partly to get back at kamoshida for being a massive piece of shit. he stays akira's best friend throughout his time in tokyo and almost has his side.

ann is 2nd to learn akira's secret and also encourages him to fight kamoshida (im getting to him btw). She designs the suit as well and makes it with akira. she also wants akira to be a hero but is much more cautious and worried about things than ryuji

i have no idea what to do with morgana but im thinking hes gonna be another superhero, idk what tho. probably like a shapeshifter or something? more thought is required.

Kamoshidas like. a superhero who double times as a teacher, still an abusive shitbag but now hes like publically worshipped. hes akiras first big fight after akira spreads the truth about him with calling cards and gets him to admit to his crimes publically, at which point he has to run away in shame. partly i based him on kamoshidaman (although i dont actually know anything abt pq2 im just assuming) and also mysterio in far from home.

shiho is basically the same except ill bring her back into the story later for something. havent planned that far ahead. she will date ann tho.

most other characters i only have vague ideas for, such as makoto having an alive father (nothing bad could happen to a police captain father in a spider man story surely) and futaba developing tech for akira. its the only way i can think to get him webslingers tbh. for akechi i have something cooking as well but im writing a fic for this so i kinda dont wanna spoil that bc i think its cool. im trying my best to be accurate to the characters personalities ut akira will probably be more quippy than usual bc it just feels wrong for any spider man not to quip. so yeah. other than that i think he maps onto spider man pretty well tbh, hes got the public hate campaign, the saviour complex, the sense of justice, hes stylish and hes got a social life going on to manage at the same time. haru also has some specific stuff i wanna do with her.

also this is a marvel like au so other superheros exist but its an americacentric phenomenon however the phoenix ranger feathermen are real. idk what ill do with them but they are bc it felt wrong to only have like 2 superheros. there might be others too. idk. maybe its more of ust a superhero au with specific marvel ideas. wahtever.

if i had the time and skill to do art for this id love to do it in the style of the original p5 intro with limited colours other than red and black to white spectrum. it would look cool and set it apart visually. also it would look a bit like the guy she was intereted in which i love visually so yeah.

anyway yea this is a pretty specific crossover so cant wait for no-one to care but yea ill update this with more later

[salt-volk]

post 705470921409019904   bc u have to PAY for monthlies u cant just earn them from gameplay. we need item that are easy to get yet also go up in value over time. every other game i play has these thing as a reward for long term & consistent players!

if the ONLY shit that retains value is premium/paid content then of course the economies fucked bc the only ppl who can make longterm value investment are those who are already well off. limited/retiring item earned from special prizes, chance event, quests, & gaemplay are essential for allowing ftp players to still get itmes that appreciate in value & be able to keep on par with premium paying users (bc then even if they dont spend money they can still have item that ppl will want).

part of dvs economy being so shit is bc u cannot "play the market" much the way u mgiht some other games. literally nearly every item is either 1. completely worthless junk that will return every year & already exists in abundance OR  2. its paid premium shit that only gets traded for other paid premium shit. rarely are there any "mid tiere value" items in between that can be leveraged by folk in the middle.

i think in retaliation to customs & monthies seeming too inacessible we went so far in the other direction that now all other items is TOO acessible which only makes the problem worse (if the ONLY valuable items are super hard to get or paid, then its impossible for ppl who dont have acess to those to "work their way up". if this was balanced by having more free/cheap to get yet also valuable items, then custom & monthlies would actually become MORE  acessible to the avg player bc they could get their hands on non-monthly non-custom items that still genuinely have value & could be traded for higher value thing.)

limited item does not always = bad & exclusionary. it can be a part of healthy economy & even a way to help limit exclusivity by giving ftp players economic mobility just for actually playing the game.

i think when ppl talk abt wanting more limited items they mean stuf like this. not more monthiles. but shit that can serve as ACTUAL reward for gameplay. right now participating in event, story quests, & even getting random chance pop up are all boring/un exciting bc once u have one set of the item thats all u ever need, theyre all worthless, retain no value, & nothing feels like an actual sruprise or a reward. theres no incentive to participate bc everything is easy & already handed to u.

dv userbase seems to be such weird mix... ppl who want to own every single item in the game with no effort & no exclusiveity but then also complain abt there being nothing to do, no long term gameplay goals, event reward feel lacking, & how boring it is between content drops. but usually part of the motivation/goals & participation feeling worthwhile on other games is BC u have to work a lil to collect things. exctiement of earning prize that gain in value, making sure ur present to collect event rewards bc the ones will be diffrent next year, new itme u strategize to trade for. & when u lack all of that ofc its gonna feel more boring.

tho obv thats not main issue with the site & im not sayin anyone is wrong for feeling that way i thinkit can def be hard to strike balance between "enough exclusivity to feel fun & motivating" vs "so much that it just feel unfair" but my point is just that right now we really need some "mid tier" limited items (that ARENT locked behing million potatoes worth of item alchemy lmfao) to balance the market & put free player on equal footing in the economy. stuff that appreciates in value & makes rewards actually feel special/worthwhile bc one day u can trade/sell it for something cooler! yk?

idk as a ftp player myself to me at least that would help playing dv actualy feel worht it.

[luminousdelight]

Multisectional ventpost hhhhh

Okay, the first thing here is rly just, I really dont like being in that friend server im in kinda (yk dori, that one i invited you in once). Theres like- 2 people that kinda ruin it for me completely, like I really wanna get out of it, which like- is kinda awful because thats the only place I really feel like I can stay rn- im too anxious to just suddenly start talking in random servers and irl is obv not an option for me. The reason those ppl r like a problem is just, one of them cant go 2 messages without complaining about either "commies" or "trannies" and is overall just an annoying person with how often they bring this stuff up along with their sentiment, and they sexualize alot its rly uncomfortable. The other one isnt really as annoying but still- it makes me feel uncomfortable being around them kinda, theyre pretty transphobic too but at least they dont mention it on their own. They also think the Andrew Tate getting banned from his socials stuff was unfair because he was just "ironic" so- yeah... (Late edit but theres also someone that cant shut up about how Honkai is better than Genshin and it drives me insane like yeah, maybe, idk, but can you shut up about it sometime maybe actually and not mention it every 10 seconds?? We get it Oh yeah and they did say some pretty trnasphobic stuff as well. At least those 3 are the only ones). I really dont like being there

Another thing is like, I really really hate venting ab the same thing to the same person multiple times because it just feels like- ill be kinda repetitive about it eventually :,D and a sorry for that only works so many times. So I just end up bottling up alot of stuff because im rly afraid to bother ppl too much about it. The same is a bit with these public vents too but- its not that bad there at least, my fear there is rather that all of that falls on deaf ears (or that a person I dont want reading about my struggles ends up reading it, like the ones in the server i mentioned) ;w;

And another thingy vent with that ex-(??? | hopefully not ;w;) friend. I really dont think things happened like they played it out like- idk quite know how to explain it but- theres just alot of things that just wouldnt make sense to me in that case.. I know I keep telling myself I should let go ab this over and over again but I rly cant- I just feel extremely convinced I mustve done smth wrong ;w; and in that case I just end up extremely hoping there might still be a chance to get my feelings reciprocated again if any of this just happened to be a huge misunderstanding. But its also the only part of this I really have any control over by now and this thought process just keeps making me feel more tense and tense the longer this situation goes on i just ghdjghjsdhdfhjs ;A; So I just rly wanna let go just if thats not the case but hsjhdfjhf its so hard qwp I really dont wanna be too pushy with this either, and im also not sure if they might even find out ab these posts and all that, wouldnt rly be that unexpected tho i feel, i kinda hope they will, it would make things alot easier. Please save me from this, im begging --- ;-;

Edit edit!!: Ik my reasoning is a bit nonsensical for this, I was just in complete denial still when its clearly not worth it by any metric, even if they wouldve responded by now

[yaspup9000]

So Yeah.. Um.. I’ve finally making a review? of This Show. I’m sorry for the hold up with this.. I’ve just been through a lot of stuff lately, but now, yeah I still feel a lil crappy but imma push through. Idk if this is even a review i just wanna talk about this show. Anyways, Lets Talk about Alfred J Kwak!

So, for some backround, Alfred J Kwak was an animated tv series that’s actually counts as an Anime funny enough. the reason being that This was a colabration between Dutch and Japan, so yeah, it counts as an anime. Also I think it was based off of a theater show last time i’ve remembered.  Is there anything speical about this show? Well, Yeah, it is actually. This 1980′s show is well, pretty openly left leaning when it comes to its messages. Ie Anti Fascist, Capitalist, has an “interracial couple” (imma get to the race thing later i promise) and a canon trans charater who plays a lot in alot of episodes. Okay so, Before I share all my opinions and thoughts about the show along with my first impressions of the show versus my impressions after watching this show, I’mma just gonna briefly talk about some of the plot and such. (dont worry, I wont really spoil this show for you folks but i will be skimming through some episodes and just talking about a small handful.) So, The lore of the story is that there’s a kind hearted Duck named Alfred, and he tends to sometimes daydream about stuff a lot. Long with his many travels, there’s his Adoptive father Named Henk the mole and Some of Alfred’s friends, such as Oilie the stork,Winnie, and some others. The show itself has some episodes where there could be slice of life to being about anti war. The show can be a bit all over the place and even nuts in some cases but still can be enjoyable and wholesome!

Now funny enough, I know that in some 80′s and 90′s media, there has always been some form of left leaning messaging, Ie, War is bad, dont judge others, something something Pick any episode from captian planet. But with Alfred J Kwak, it doesn’t really sugar coats anything when it comes to being anti Capitalist and Anti Fascist, Heck The Vilain of the show was Literaly HITLER!! Oh yea there’s also some thing about immagration too.  Some of my First Impressions of the show is that, Alfred and Winnie travel to places while fighting nazis and stuff but instead It’s Just about Henk and Alfred, which isnt a bad thing, however i did felt a little disappointed. Also I thought That Dolf was gonna be more of a Looming Threat for Alfred and his friends, since he’s well, Freaking Hitler and all, I thought Dolf would put everything in his power to get rid of Winnie and her little brother or something. Idk, I was actually thinking there would be some more conflict or something. Another thing, I do have a bit of an issue when doing the whole animal racism thing. Even tho I am glad that they’re not using species as a replacement of race (cause Oh boy, It personally rubs me off the wrong way and might does more harm than good) Although, I still believe, that the show could of made a lot more sense if the world the show takes place in is a world where ducks are just the “humans” of the world where theres all kinds of Duck folk and stuff. Cause honestly I think it would feel a little less jarring when it comes to bringing in the issues of race. Cause idk, why they the people of waterland, would feel “uncomfy” over ducks who are black, I mean, yeah sure it could be xenaphobia instead of racism but still, It feels a little bit jarring and hyporical that they would be okay with other random animals and bizare creatures but get weirded out by Black Ducks.

  (Again I guess it could be a Xenaphobia thing idk) Also, I felt a little bummed out that we dont really see much of Winnie nor see her play much important roles in the show. idk man, I felt a little disappointed but hey, At least Winnie is cute tho! I really wished We would see more of her.

Also Another thing that Kinda confused me is one of Alfred’s friends. Like okay in the episode, Alfred’s first birthday, we get to see Hannes and Wannas were once friends with Alfred, but then later in the next episode with the whole time skip i think? Hannes and Wannes end up being Friends Dolf and made fun of him cause he has a father as a mole. Which made me go, BRUH, DUDE, YOU WERE VIBIN AND CHILLIN WITH ALFRED AND HENK IN THE LAST EPISODE!? WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT!? Idk why they heck they stopped being his friend just to be friends with this Random school yard bully kid. Maybe its ether from peer pressure or they just wants to be friends with him now cause.. idk man.. Your guess its good as mine. Also in the later episodes, one of them just disappeared out of thin air while the other Which was, I think Wannes ended up becoming a rich racist with family members who lives in the stolen land of Black ducks now. So yeah.. That happened.  Some Other things to ramble about is Oilie, and honestly, I really like him and find him pretty intreasting when it comes to rep. okay so, Depending on which dub from different languges, Oilie is ether confirmed to be a lesbian or a trans guy. He’s not like just some background charater, he actually plays apart in a few episodes even won for ruler of Waterland. Oilie as a charater is really sweet and wholesome along with still being Alfred’s friend even in adulthood. And he seems like a loving husband and father! Honestly yeah, I Personally think Alfred J Kwak was a good show! i feel like you guys should most def give it a watch. I felt like there were some stuff I’ve missed and im sorry that this was a jumbled mess of a post I hope everyone was able to understand my thoughts somewhat. I might prob make a sequal post of this in cause any Alfred J Kwak fan comes to me and have us talk out stuff.  but for how hope you guys enjoy your day

[justagrin]

smth i shoved into a discord group specifically for people to talk about SA (tw for implied csa/rape/incest)

oooof one of my friends disclosed to me that (tw sa & incest) their dad SA'd them (at least once? idk if its a reoccuring thing i didnt ask any questions n they understandably clammed up n changed the subject n i said "hey if you ever need to talk about anything i have similar experiences" but oh boy is it lowkey triggering that stuff for me rn. idefk if my stuff counts as sa tho. like i know my dad sexualised me a lot like verbally as a kid and i remember being disgusted all the time and i remember being fucking terrified of him all the time even when he didn't seem to be doing anything. and i remember him often saying or doing stuff and i'd just think to meself "ok we're repressing that!" (unsurprisingly i don't remember what actually prompted that). i dont have any memories of him touching me but i have some of someone touching me and the way i react to certain sexual situations is sus as fuck, but honestly those could be two entirely different things but idk! idk. i just remember telling my mum that all the stuff he said made me uncomfy and predictably got told i was "overreacting" and that it was "normal" which turned into "he just doesn't know when something's inappropriate" and honestly thats the closest to closure i'm ever gonna get but whatever. anyway the dots aren't connected enough to me to outright say i relate and im sure as fuck not ready to actually talk about it to anyone irl but yeah. idk where i was going with this tbh. i have a notebook of stuff from my childhood related to that^ (from when i've remembered them, but most of the stuff in the book i can't remember unless i read it over again) and my friends who've seen it have reacted with pretty strong disgust but idk. my entire childhood was that & gaslighting myself into thinking i was overreacting (which btw!! lead to me getting SA'd and harassed so many fucking times as an adult!!!) so it was normal to me pfft and counsellors i've shown it to all refuse to give me a solid answer bc they don't wanna "risk giving me false memories") but agghhh. one thing i definitely remember is whenever i had discharge or my period in my teens i'd just. want to cry and shake and curl up and errrrrrrmmmmmmm thats not normal lol. something was definitely wrong there but idk if i'll ever fucking be able to figure out what that is.

ok yeah i dug the notebook out again and (same tw's as above, just kind of graphic and intense) yeah theres a bit in there about him crawling into my bes and i was freaked the fuck out so i just ran out of the room and when i told my mum i was told it was "normal". and theres a bit where i was 14 and drew art based on the song pantsu nugeru mon (lit: i can take off my panties) bc i was 14!! i wasn't THINKING anything secxual!! it was a song about growing up to me! so my dumb ass showed my dad bc i was proud of the art itself and he got really weird and intense and close and was like "what are you going to do when you take off your panties?" which. ew. gross. fuck off. oh and that one time i fell asleep on the sofa and i guess i had a sex dream or smth which i didnt think anything of until my dad randomly got intense and weird again and asked if i "had any interesting dreams" that night (which he never usually does ffs). oh and he fully called ma tease relatively recently actually, and said i should call my (now ex) boyfriend "daddy", has referred to himself as my "daddy" in THAT godawful tone and makes frequent BDSM jokes towards his sister which is just an example of the verbal shit i had to put up with and idk how anyone in the room when it happens can excuse it but to them i guess its one weird thing he said they can brush off bc they don't realise i had to hear it CONSTANTLY and deal with what he DID to and they didn't see the scary moments. i also remember reading a magazine article about incest/csa when i was like 11ish?? and idk WHAT it triggered but my absolute fear of my dad/older men in general kind of started after that and my mum always said it was reading the magazine that did it but bro i dont think one thing like that can elicit a decade or so of consistent fight or flight mode I think my body remembered stuff that I can't.

Jesus fucking christ thats the most concise way i've ever actually described that. idk if anyone can relate or anything. also honestly now that he's been relatively "good" for a few years now in terms of how he speaks to me i don't really get the fear response anymore. and i'm dependent on him for finances and medical stuff so its. whatever. i guess. i'm fucking terrified that if i ever have a daughter he'll pull the same shit (hence basically nuking my body with birth control lmao) and luckily my brother's kids are both boys so i don't believe he's a threat to them if he didnt treat my brothers the same way he did me ygm? but idk what i can actually do about it

[frostbite-the-bat]

I love drawing and hyperfocusing on it for so long that i dont realize just how tired i am and in how much my pain my hands and arms are and its so bad i gotta lay down but still noo despite all this mom tells me im HEALTHY AND FINE even if she knows about at least my hand pain but its like nothing of importance to her its not like im hiding anything i told her many times but in this family getting my parents to get me to see a doctor is actually impossible

Im pissed abt this rn bc im i wanna do stuff but im laying in bed bc of MY HANDS and bc ive been signing shit for future jobs at employment departments and shit since hashtag unemployed living and i had to chexk twice that im healthy and have no complications when i clearly do and i should get myself checked. Please at least for my mental health my mom knows i have some diagnosis but noo thats not important you hide it well so you must be healthy

I hope i can figure this out because i cannot do any fucking work normally like this i was suffering so much at my school during practice and i complained abt that enough (Tho my school was high key abusive)

I just wish people listened to me man. I wish i wasnt stuck in here and i knew how to talk to people and doctors and that if i wanted to do thst i didnt need to lie and sneak out. Please like i keep saying im in pain im tired i cant do this also i have constant stomach issues now as well but it's all ignored im always ignored here and i hate it. I just want help. If i wanna get out of here ill need a job but if the paperd say im fine i cant find anything that wont fucking destroy me. maam im not lazy to do 8 hrs i dont think i can do them id physically crumble at 6 hours of practice even before all this got worse after i had covid again.

Like ive accepted theres something wrong with me finally but now i cant even get help how fun is this. I just want confirmation i want to be heard