#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

[infiniteorbits]

last updated

1.

“amelie” - last updated 3/30/23 at 10:31

likes

- when songs blend into each other

- untangling necklaces

- restoration videos

- doorbells that play songs

dislikes

- when previously melted popcorn butter hardens

- when people laugh or talk at the end of songs

- restoration vids that r actually transformation

- when musical movies have less/no songs in the second half 

2.

“now twitter” - last updated 3/30/23 at 17:03

3/28

- dunkin is very hit or miss. luckily for both of us i will take whatever is given to me in any situation ever. - 07:59

- i’m a good kid just mentally disturbed - 9:49

- why is it always hot as balls in [building] i am DYING! - 9:57

3.

“lyrics” - last updated 3/28/23 at 21:06

are you there? - sbd

- “is there anyone in the audience currently living in vain?”

nights - frank ocean

- “wanna see nirvana but don’t wanna die”

4.

“band names” - last updated 4/2/23 at 17:04

i called it

señor manatee

morph suit with the genitals cut out

western haircut

vape gosh

car moth

snail gunk shoes

banana fever

radiobread

nonconsensual gymnastics routine

goodbye endemic fish

uneven sunburn

bread zeppelin

phoebe breadgers

self-imposed bald spot

turtle crossing

5.

“wowowowow” - last updated 3/19/23 at 21:21 (excerpt 1/3)

i really only wake up to go back to sleep again

i dont wanna leave my house because then i have to put on clothes and look at my body. i hate watching tiktok because i see other people’s bodies and hate mine. i hate existing

do you ever yearn to be loved by someone that doesn’t exist so badly that your body aches. do you ever ever want to pull out ur hair bc ur so ashamed of your own thoughts that you cant exist

6.

“dreams” - last updated 2/2/23 at 06:27

night of 12/22/22

[person 1] and [person 2] shit themselves. it seemed to be a reoccurring event bc [freshman year teacher], [person 3], and [person 4] were disappointed

7.

“try god: 1060 AM” - last updated 3/10/23 at 19:36

(is an atheist station)

9/16/19 : 2

11/5/19 : 1

12/5/19: 1

1/14/20 : 1

5/24/21: 1

7/28/21: 1

8/12/21: 1

9/3/21: 1

12/29/21: 1 (roche bros [town] parking lot)

9/23/22: 1

3/9/23: 1 (the bitch had like 2 stickers tho!!!)

8.

“hm” - last updated 1/22/23 at 22:57

“i’m not like you, other people’s problems don’t make me feel better” - [redacted]

9.

“wowowowow” - last updated 3/19/23 at 21:21 (excerpt 2/3)

how the fuck do candles burn out the wax doesn’t evaporate right

welcome to the achery, what can i get u? vomit, comin right up!

the world is made of orbits

the moon around the earth

the earth around the sun

our solar system around the middle

even little galaxies orbit around ours

i suppose that even we, as people,

orbit too

i like to think

that i orbit around you

10.

“i miss all the angel numbers and i keep getting mad bc i dont have to a reason to keep thinking of u”  - last updated 3/4/23 at 13:09

people kinda just age out of me.

11.

untitled - last updated 3/28/22 at 10:46

i dont know what to write. i dont wanna seem like im not workin gbut i just…. cant do this right now. i had to walk to school today and i wanted to die. i mean realistically thats not truly a bad thing. the walk is like ten minutes and its in Rennes and im lucky to be here and to be able to walk and go to school and breathe clean air and whatnot. but im so tired. so tired. it took my nearly an hour to pick out my clothes today. i decided on a shirt and jeans that dont look good together at all and that are half dry bc the dryer just does not work in this house for some damn reason and its fucking annoying. i did my makeup because i was looking atrocious- my hair was wet because i finally got myself to shower after god knows how long (less than a week i presume - i think i last showered the weekend before this week?) and the lack of shape to my hair and the weird way my face looks after i wake up or shower or do anything made me need to sit down and inevitably still be upset when its over. i dreamt that i saw [redacted #2]. it was another one of those dreams where theres a big storm or tsunami or combination of the two and we all had to huddle in a school building that looks kind of like this one but not really. i was so excited to see her and i almost cried in my dream. but i barely saw her for the rest of the dream, she was off with [redacted #3] and her other friends and not me. i was left behind. they left without me. i’m not mad at her for this because she hasnt done this to me yet but i know she will so i guess im preemptively sad and mad and upset even though i have no reason to be and thats not fair to her. i am at myself and the person in front of me and how she treats me like im stupid and i dont want to be stupid and i know im not stupid but there is nothing i can do. i know that seems dramatic. “nothing i can do.” there is. there probably is. i really hope there is but at the same time i hope there isnt because then its true. i am stupid. i do get my work done or at least the work i know that i need to get done and my grades are fine i have like a 3.67 unweighted which isnt great but not like awful. i know i could do better. i know i could work harder. i have worked harder before but its gone now and shes gone now and im gone now. im gone now. im gone now. 

12.

“favs” - last updated 3/18/22 at 15:19

bc i always seem to forget

music

dirty computer - janelle monae

sawdust - the killers

sgt peppers lonely heart club band - the beatles

rubber soul - the beatles

stranger in the alps - phoebe bridgers

apricot princess - rex orange county

punisher - phoebe bridgers 

ow - pom pom squad

turkey dinner - pinky pinky

death of a cheerleader- pom pom squad

13.

“list of issues (current)” - last updated 8/17/22 at 07:46

- [ ] chronic/crippling fear of death (usually intrusive)

- [ ] shortness of breath/high resting heart rate

- [ ] trouble sleeping (falling asleep, keepingg eyelids closed, fear of dreams [lack of control], fear of unconsciousness)

- [ ] usually naseous or having abdominal issues

- [ ] head hurts all the time

- [ ] lack of control with my thoughts

- [ ] depression :( - am i taking too much of my meds?

14.

untitled - last updated 9/7/21 at 06:51

ah oui!! désolé, j’avais fatigué donc j’ai oublié envoyer un text. on est en bus et on va arriver à 15:16

merci pour ce skype!!! j’ai aimé faire de connaissance de votre famille :) j’étais enthousiaste d’aller avant mais maintenant je suis plus enthousiaste (j’ai pensé que c’est ne pas possible!). mes parents se sentent impatients à l’idée que je vais habiter avec vous. je ne peux pas attendre pour vous rencontrer en personne!!!

15.

“grocery list�� - last updated 6/7/21 at 10:37

- [x] watermelon

- [ ] orange juice

- [ ] plants

- [ ] ice

- [ ] muffins

- [ ] 

16.

“bus writing assignment” - last updated 10/19/21 at 18:05

-doja cat plays

-everyone is on their phone, with wired headphones

-old bus or new? blue model with the facing hanging handicapped seats

-new bus, c3

-woman quiet her phone

-baby blows bubbles than screams, a child laughs

-people look up as siren passes

-12 year olds laugh and play hand games in the back

-girl with dyed hair (color i want)

-its so hot, holding my bag

-i can hear music of man standing near me

- vaguely familiar man walks in

- office man

- u express bag reminds me of my own

-- woman stands to get off, holding an umbrella, clear with ocean designs (why does she have umbrella? its sunny? i have an umbrella but its new. shes holding it like its fragile bht not new)

- almost miss my stop once i realize i dont know where i am

- lost in writing

- nvm got off one too early

- ill walk ig

17.

“wowowowow” - last updated 3/19/23 at 21:21 (excerpt 3/3)

i agree with the catholics sometimes

like when they mention gay people

and get that look in their eyes

i tilt my head down in shame

but i also put my head down to pray

/

i don’t know if being gay is a sin

but it sure as hell is a punishment

i wonder if future me is looking at me now

crying on the bus, mask soaked with tears

i know she is, because can feel her holding me

i feel her hug and her tears on my shoulders

i hope she’s happy in the way i want to be

18.

untitled - last updated 9/19/19 at 07:58

kantism: you must follow your moral code always with no exceptions, which is defined as something that is good in all situations (intent matters, impact does a bit). 

utilitarianism: do what makes the most people happy (intent doesn’t matter, impact does). morality is defined by amount of happiness.

contractialism: if you agree to a contract, explicit or not, you must follow it. while the contract may not benefit you at all times, it is better than living in a world of “natural law”, a world with no contracts and no security.

virtue theory: if we try to be good people, good actions will follow (good intent = good impact). everyone should be good people because it is in our nature, it is our function. you are good if you fulfill your function and bad if you do not

natural law theory: god gave us the ability to be good

[fuzen]

How genshin boys react to reader listening kpop song (Modern AU)

aha I got bored and no one feeds me anyway so I have to make my own food

Tw // reader insert, grammatical errors, modern au, reader's gender never specified (using 2nd POV) so it's for everyone yaay

Sfw, everyone can read.

characters: DKZC (Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, and Childe)

Diluc

you're listening to No Longer by NCT 127

-Will definitely ask you what kind song is that and why is it making you so sad

-you tell him the meaning of the song

-he just nodded, but he still didn't get why it made u so sad

-you starts to sing along

-and ugly crying

-he confused, he is not good at comforting someone

-not because he was lack of empathy but because he was so awkward and didn't know what to do

-you still continued, you sang like someone cut your heart into the pieces

-you just kinda feel relatable with the song

-it somehow hurts him. No matter how good or bad you sang the song, it still hurts him

-he is just too soft

-so he decided to grab a blanket, wrap your body with it, and cuddles you

-so warm...

"Diluc, have you love someone that doesn't love you? no? yeah you're handsome, there is no way you would experience that..."

you said jokingly while fake crying.

you think it was a joke but he took it seriously. He got up from his seat, about to brought you something.

You prefer his dandelion wine but he gave you a cup of warm milk instead.

Childe

you're listening to DANCE DANCE by Day6

-You're chilling, earphones on your ears listening to Day6

-Suddenly someone took one of it and put it on his ear

-"Didn't know you have a good taste, this sounds so cool!"

-He comfortably put one of his hand on your back

-He started to humming the song

-You looked at him in shock

-Who knows he is good at singing?

-Your reaction was amused him

-You guys ended up singing together

-Childe won't admitted it but he thinks your voice is nice

-since you guys seemed like have the same taste, you show your playlists and gives him many recommendations

-He stands LOONA and MAMAMOO

-Great taste, really. You admitted it.

"Ehh you liked them? woah nice, no wonder you got clear skin..."

He puzzled, "Huh what do you mean, Comrade?"

"You stan talent."

You laughed, the joke was dead but his confused face bring it back to life again.

Kaeya

You're listening to Anti-Romantic by TxT

-The first time you heard the song was from tiktok

-and now this is your new obsession

-you're on your earphone, playing the song

-you sing the reff part. only that part.

-you actually have been singing that part in many random times, even when you don't listen to the song and doing something else.

-Kaeya noticed it, as expected from our Cavalry Knight

-"Hey you've been singing that line at least 5 times a day.. are you seriously an anti-romantic?"

-He is truly concerns

-'Cuz he is a romantic person, there is no way you would date him if you're an anti romantic, no?

-You looked at him for like 5 seconds and then laugh at him

-You paused the song then showed him THAT dancing girl tiktok video that have been used by many people there as a greenscreen, yeah that one.

-now he concerns about you more

-but ended up practicing the dance with you

-he is a fast learner so you don't spend much time on the recording

-y'all made a tiktok video together

-romantic, isn't it?

"Why don't you post it? I think we're really sync." Kaeya said after you guys done.

You nodded, "Yeah babe, we did a great job tho, it would be a waste if we keep it by ourselves, right?"

You guys are very proud of your cover dance. The video was also gets many likes, y'all celebrate it and even performed it in front of Diluc.

Zhongli

You're listening to Butter by BTS

-This song... is just too damn famous

-You're just happened to play it because you got your youtube auto play on

-and Zhongli happened to walk on you watching the MV on your laptop

-You seemed enjoying the song, so he is glad

-but little did he know he also enjoyed it as well

-he silently come closer and watch the video with you

-there are 7 handsome boys on the video, he wondered which one of them you liked the most

-"Which of them you like the most, dear?"

-You jumped, since when he is there?

-When you calmed down he asked the question again

-You answered and told him your opinion about the boy group

-Zhongli nodded, satisfied with your answer.

-You guys then listen to the boy group's other songs

"Each video has its own concepts... I don't really get it but all of them are nice."

You nodded, "Yeah, it also made the fans making many theories and trying to figure out what's behind the concept!"

"It sounds fun, darling."

"I know right!"

----

this is my first time writing a hc in english tho, hope ya liked it.

[jiminrings]

Okay I just wanna say that I really love your writing!!! Hope you and chimmy are doing well! Can I request a drabble with merman tae and y/n's a human and they're childhood besties and tae likes her but she's a dumb little bean. I just realised how many 'ands' are in that sentence. If you don't like it then...ahem know that I still love you!!! 💖💖💖

pearl of mine

pairing: taehyung x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: merman!tae is the reason why tourists can’t find any more shells and pearls in the shore, y/n owns more beach houses than deduction skills, and concierge!yoongi’s the hero :D // gif from pinterest

notes: are u kidding me baby i love it AND you!!!! chimmy barks his regards <3

“hmm? where’s barnacle boy?”

alright there goes your peace and quiet

it’s very nice to know that where yoongi is, translates to meaning that all your peaceful thoughts automatically aren’t there

if he’s not manning the concierge, it means he’s there keeping you company!!

annoying you

your ten minutes of bliss of just having your calves dipped into the water is interrupted now but it’s ok!!

after all, yoongi’s ur right-hand man anyways!! he’s the one who keeps track of everything and you’re so close to convicing your dad to put him in the family will too

you can’t manage your family business all by yourself!! how exactly are you gonna manage fIVE of the hotels that your parents have put under your care by yourself

five of the seventeen hotels that your family owns..,.,.,

（；＿；）

your dad gives you tOO much trust and he believes in you like actually a lot

a lot more than you could ever trust yourself tbh

he doesn’t want you to take charge only when he retires or dies!! you’re his little dove and he wants you to be as immersed in your family’s group of companies

it’s generous but of course it’s hectic

which is why you’re spearheading the handling of the actual main hotel he’s put under you!!

and the rest of the less major ones, you’ve had to go through a long and tedious process for so you could find an actual trustable manager and supervisor that wouldn’t commit embezzlement and-

yoongi’s about to scare you again by nudging your lower back with his foot, but you’re ahead of him when you nip his ankle with your nails

“... it’s mermaid man.”

he scoffs out a laugh because what was supposed to be a teasing nudge for your friend that’s clearly nOT human, turned to your joke instead of his

he doesn’t need to look at his watch to know what time it was by then bc he’s practically memorized the skies and the tide at this point

every 5:20 in the afternoon, you and taehyung would meet here!!

you come outside at exactly 4:50 to give yourself some leeway into preparing whatever you’d be giving him or rather, pestering yoongi what you think you should give him for that afternoon

it doesn’t necessarily have to be grand! on most days you just make him waffles without the crusty edges (he likes it the most when it’s so hot that it was still soft and jiggly) and the filling would be whatever food he hasn’t tried yet

.... basically.......... almost everything

but now it’s 5:23 and he could tell with how the water didn’t settle to the wooden platform as well as it did when it was 5:20

yoongi could actually TELL the difference because he’s seen you do this for the four years he’s been working here

the hotel had three wings — the shore wing, the balcony-sturdy-treehouse-type of wing, and the cabana wing

you bounce all around the place because naturally, you aRE the boss here, but afternoons really were just reserved for the cabana wing

where there’s a staff cabana by one of the wooden paths that lead to it, and one specifically reserved for you and probably yoongi now lmao bc he wouldn’t take a nap anywhere else

it’s you just sitting by the deck of your cabana that houses your too-expensive waffle maker, and a cozy blanket then deck pillows outside where you lay when taehyung’s there perched by the wood

you easily have three plates always, and yoongi just goes a lil bit soft that you let him intrude your routine with the merman

but today, all that highLy seems unlikely

“he’s totally not coming,” he exaggerates all in one breath, not having the decency to wait bc he’s stuffing his cheeks full with waffles

everything’s a hit or miss with mermaid man anyways and yoongi would rather nOT try his adventures of waffles with buttered rice in between no thank u

so that’s why he’s sticking with his trusty s’mores waffle!!! :D

put chocolate spread in between while it’s STILL in the pan, then tiny little marshmallows with crushed graham crackers and 10/10 u will see heaven

he gets crumbs on your sundress and you barely even grimace because you’re used to yoongi and all his yoongi-ness at this point

“yes he is! we’ve been doing this everyday without fail for like, twelve years already.”

you know what.,.,., maybe even longer than twelve years

this one’s marked on your calendar you can just SNIFF it

what you distinctly remember is your dad picking you up from school then suddenly deciding that he’ll teach you the ropes

you knew what everything was coming to because suddenly, you’d take your daily after-school snacks at the hotel

and then your weekends were slowly merging into memorizing names and amenities

... and then sitting by your dad’s chair with a juicebox when he had meetings

then before you even realize, you’re managing five hotels under your name and a particularly large one mainly

it was when you’ve had a suckish day at school because you cannot seem to just gET the multiplication table of 7 and your dad’s chasing after you again so you could get to see the fire escape plans as “fun little puzzles!!”

ya know what maybe you should go outside

it didn’t exactly click into your young mind that holy shit your family’s LOADED

all you knew was that people greeted you left and right even if you didn’t know them and you’d always be offered stuff you didn’t even ask for :D

all you cared about was skipping by the cabanas but holding by the rope on the side bc what if you fell lmao

yet what did fall to the water beside you was your bracelet!!!

:((

a red, single-threaded, string bracelet from your wrist that must’ve gotten loose

it’s something you’ve never took off and the sheer panic in your mind was tOO HIGH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

even before you could call out to your dad though, or any of the staff that would literally drop everything to help you, something just shifts in the water

it’s too quick for you to even decipher and the multiplication table of 7 would’ve been easier to figure out

the moment you crouch by the end of the deck was when you see it aGAIN

there’s this incredibly pretty boy that emerges from the water, only his shoulders up to his head peeking out

he most certainly didn’t look... from around here tho

your attention’s immediately fixated on your bracelet, the one on his mouth as he only tilts his head when you do the same, an eager squeal breaking him out

hold on

wait a second

you’ve seen this in the tv sometimes!!! they were uh creatures that liked being by themselves in the sea

lol which is basically every sea creature

but the narrator said something about them looking like humans???

AND BESIDES

you overhear your dad talking about them sometimes

AND THEN IT HITS

THE HANDSOME FACE!! THE SHINY PRETTY-

up and age???

opened etch????

how do u spell that again

THE TAIL!!! THE PRETTY TAIL LOOKING LIKE THING!!!

“o-oh!! you’re-...”

“t-taehyung...?”

the boy who looks like your age replies, looking unsure of himself yet didn’t want to disappoint you either

you meant merman but it’s okay!!

your hands retrieve the bracelet from his mouth, a little giggle at the complexity of the situation

he was completely sold at that

this was his first human!!! his first actual human interaction and it wasn’t really bad as what his brothers painted out to be

you and taehyung took off from then and ya know what,,, maybe you even start purposefully dropping things in the water if you feel a little impatient that he hasn’t peeked his head yet

and yes yes that’s a completely iRRESPONSIBLE thing and your dad stopped you before you could possibly throw out a whole backpack into the water

which was weird for him to look at because there’s absolutely no one he could see in the water

it was a routine that not one of you ever skipped on once!!

even if you were sick and tae thinks that it’s the most pathetic thing because he doesn’t EVER get sick??? sue him for having a cold because he’s in the water 24/7 yea

even if one was late and wouldn’t be able to see the other, there would be an item placed by the deck as proof that they were indeed there!!

tae sometimes leaves a random conch shell or even seaweed in the shape of a heart when he’s swamped with his arrangements

even if there’s a storm, which taehyung absolutely loves because the water’s all cold!!! and it gives him a fun little ride when the waves are all wonky

you leave out a lunchbox that’s snug in a fixed mailbox (you forced yoongi to attach it) by the side of the deck poles and that would count as your attendance

“yes he is! we’ve been doing this everyday without fail for like, twelve years already.”

you are totally UNBELIEVABLE

yoongi snorts, almost choking on his waffles with how hard he did it

“and you’re twelve years dumb.”

ok now you take offense

huh???

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

you can’t be any more clueless, can you??

as if on cue, there’s the familar flop and splash that you nudge yoongi to be in his best behavior

taehyung makes his afternoon appearance by outlandishly doing his trick in the air, undoubtedly giving you a splash you’re used to by now

he literally does not care at the thought of anyone possible seeing him

besides, they physically can’t anyway because there’s a spell cast onto the area, allowing nobody to see them besides you

... and yoongi ://

he’s rather grand with his gestures and his words and even before taehyung knew the common lingo on ground, you could tell he was a little more stubborn with his strong expressions

after all, taehyung’s a prince at sea but at land.,.,.,.

<3 well <3

“i’m here!”

taehyung bEAMS radiantly, making you crouch and hold out your hands, him putting his face out immediately for you to squish

“oh, oh! i got you something, y/n!”

he seems to remember out of the blue in the middle of chewing his waffles, yoongi having to suppress another sigh

the prettiest pearl necklace :-)

“tae i already told you that-...”

you’re about to start berating him again with the gifts because what seemed to be so ordinary for him is very fAR from yours

you pout and tae only pushes the necklce to you further, not taking no for answer when he had to squint his eyes extra hard to look for the pearls this morning

to be honest you have sO much jewelry from taehyung

the common theme of it was of course they’re something you could get at sEA

and whenever people ask you about them, u have no idea how to tell where you got them

today’s pearl necklace was a little different — something more dainty and smaller and wraps around your neck like a choker would, a little more suited for everyday wear

“thank you!!!”

you smooch taehyung on the cheek extra quick and it takes every fiber in his tail to stop squealing

yoongi watches you two be disgustingly sweet and PLATONIC yet again, and he could only zero in on the pearl necklace around your neck

that is the fifth time this week

that is the fifth set of pearls you’ve gotten this week

normally you’d get a pearl every now and then and the often minuature sand sculptures

but this week changes the wHOLE ball game

“do you want a pearl ring?”

taehyung wiggles his eyebrows, boxy smile on full display and he looks breathtaking in the golden hours that you immediately poke his cheek

yoongi’s eyes widen because that’s literally-

you don’t seem to find the weight on his question because you only let out a non-commital sound and whisk him away on another conversation about his day

he’s long since dropped out of yours and taehyung’s conversation, going back to the concierge because his presence is required

and he still can’t shake off how CLUELESS you are

it’s when the night gets a little more chilly and you could see taehyung go beneath the water more often, taking it as a sign that he’s going back and his brothers are looking for him

“night-night, tae.”

you offer the top of his head a kiss, rushing back to the cabana to put on your coat and right on time, you miss the way taehyung’s eyes are bigger than a goldfish’s

(@_@)

oh my god

oh my fucking god

taehyung really hATES you

he hates you so much!!!!

SO SO MUCH

he resigns back into the water and he doesn’t even move at all

just defeatedly sits on the seabed and his aura effectively puts off everything around him

his heart’s beyond heavy and his eyes sting and he never wants to resurface ever again

he’s trying not to get upset too much because his emotions have the capacity of changing the tide and it would literally resonate through the seas if he gets even more sad

taehyung’s trying to rEPRESS everything back in but it’s no use :((

“hey, hey, calm down. what’s wrong?”

his brother immediately swims to his side at the first slight tremor he felt, having only little trouble in locating him

“i-i asked y/n if she wanted a pearl-...” tae stutters and he has to physically hold his chest to not sOB at your name, an insurmountable feeling of dread at his chest 

yeah, you! namjoon knows you

in fact all his brothers know you and you’ve met each other multiple times, but not as often as you and tae did

they don’t need to see you everyday to know that taehyung is head over tails in LOVE with you

the mention of you and their brother’s gifts in the same sentence isn’t anything new

“okay? but you give her pearls all the time? and-”

“... ring.”

oh

OH

pearl ring

“yeah? and what did she say?”

joon himself tries to quell the distress he feels because taehyung’s emotions are morE than potent to affect to everyone, most especially his brothers

he sees the others swimming to them from afar, worried frowns already on their faces and namjoon doesn’t want to panic even more

“nothing!! she said nOTHING!!!!”

jungkook tilts his head, cheeks puffed out as he tries to diffuse the situation

“but tae, it could mean-...”

“nothing. y/n absolutely wants nothing to do with me!”

taehyung half-huffs and half-sobs, immediately swimming past them that leaves them confused and with a headache

this was definitely going to be a problem

it already is

today has got to be the slowest day ever

the water is so still and timid

oh my god it literally just looks like tap water in a bathtub that’s untouched

you’ve noticed in the first thing in the morning

was it nORMAL to have the water so still???? practically no waves at all??? not even ripples????

you must be losing your mind right

you dragged yoongi from the concierge desk all the way outside

he squints his eyes because the water.... is definitely not supposed to be this way....

“huh. now that’s just odd.”

some of your patrons don’t seem to mind at all because that just means they could go take their pictures without waves putting their phones at risk

but nO

most especially the swimmers n the surfers and even the lifeguard are all ????

everyone’s collectively looking at the water

yoongi takes a twig and just pokes at it to go do ATLEAST something, but even the ripples it produces are mundane

the water is too still and it makes you miss the one who makes it all better

you spend the better part of your whole day in your sundress and hanging around the cabana, yoongi scrunching his nose up at the fact that he seemed to be more active than the actual hotelier here today

“taehyung doesn’t go up for another seven hours, y’know?”

he finds you sitting by the edge of the deck, feet vigorously splashing around the water without any resistance at all that it feels so unnerving

“yea i know that... just wanted to hang out with him.”

you murmur out the last part, making yoongs do a double-take at his boss who was never this soft-spoken

“and that’s what you’ve been doing ever since childhood? sit by the edge then hang out?”

he wants to push a couple of buttons to get you out of your phase of the day today, but he only gets some insistent nodding and nothing more

“that’s so mundane. that’s literally a decade-long routine!!”

“it’s a routine i don’t mind!!”

and that’s true

it’s a routine you want to do with the rest of your life because it now feels like the equivalent of showering basically

you feel so incomplete without it and satisfaction doesn’t settle on your bones until you do it with taehyung :D

“surely, there must be sOME reason for taehyung to not get bored from doing the same thing with you, right?”

alright one more nudge

you’re considerably more perky now that’s for sure

but that doesn’t mean any less clueless unfortunately

“must be the food!!”

oh my god,,,,,, u are so dumb

he leaves you alone and you don’t even question it because you’re too busy waiting for taehyung

you expect the tide to change when it’s already noon but really, nothing happens still

5:20 passes and he still isn’t there

it’s time for dinner and yoongi has to fetch you aLL the way from the other side of the wings he needed to supervised because you’re spending all your time waiting

you were supposed to have dinner with staff tonight but you don’t even think twice in telling him to go eat without you, giving the company card more than eagerly

“don’t you think it’s time to go home?”

yoongi pipes up when they’ve finished dinner and you’re still there

he feels so sorry for you :((

“w-what if he shows up last minute?”

there’s still hope in your voice and he doesn’t want to taint it as much as people

“hey. they need sleep too. you should go get some for yourself too, okay? now just leave a cookie or something,” he has to pry you off the deck himself, not wanting to feel any more sorry for you because you’re starting to tremble with how chilly the air is

taehyung doesn’t resurface the next day

or the next

and the day after that

taehyung doesn’t show up the entire week.

you’re worried OUT of your mind and you’re tempted to just take your dad’s yacht and sail across the water to try and look for him

or oR maybe you should get one of the divers to try and look for him!!!! but no that wouldn’t work, would it??

how about you go and look for tae yourself???

yoongi’s been busy with the hotel bc the actual hotelier of it (read: you) is too busy MOPING

you’ve ditched your sundresses and waited in hoodies and sweatpants you could roll up in the morning and roll down at night to wait for him

most people don’t even recognize you as the owner and they just walk rIGHT past you when they see you in the hallways

you’ve also been stress-making waffles that you reek of the batter and butter, the staff now having an abundance of experimental ones that you’ve made

you’re definitely not okay

“uh y/n you really rEALLY need to go to sleep.,.,”

yoongi gapes at you when he visits you at the cabana, clearing his schedule out to go watch over you and bc your dad won’t sit still with how unkempt you’ve been

he gestures to the hammock you’ve always begged him to put up, but his handiwork’s wASTED because you don’t even spend more than five seconds looking at it

you should be screaming with glee by now :((

how in the world could he possibly distract you from crushing sadness and worry

he’s been brainstorming the past week and his head’s even more hollow than the decorative coconuts in the gift shop

... wait a minute

hey this has got to be his most stupid idea but the one with the most promising results!!!!!

11/10 risky but it’s the cLOSEST he could get!!

“hey do you wanna do something stupid??”

your eyes glance at him immediately because it’s the first question he’s ever asked you besides if you’re okay or when was the last time you slept or when do you intend on picking yourself up

yoongi fishes for his tablet and whips up a video immediately, only taking minutes for him to explain and seconds for you to agree

it’s what made you end up this way

it’s the reason in your swimsuit with your legs all the way inside a duvet cover and the corners of it knotted tightly on your waist

you don’t know how yoongi’s managed to convince you to race him in swimming with your whole lower body inside a king-sized dUVET cover from one of the cabanas whose guests are arriving in an hour, but here you are lmao

“first one to the furthest cabana wins, alright?”

he practically yelps in explaining in an effort to hype you up and a hundred dollars dOES seem to make him excited himself 

you’re buzzing for the first time in the week and it’s the panicked shoves you try to give each other before starting that kicks you off in an eager mood 

“GO!”

you immediately dive in and you don’t expect the heaviness of your makeshift tail behind you, momentarily cussing yourself because wHY on earth did you get the high-quality ones smh ://

oh my god this is so fucking stupid and oddly enough, you’re ENJOYING it

you can’t exactly paddle your legs fluidly like the times when they aren’t wrapped in a duvet, and the distance of the last cabana seems so tiring now that u think about it

yoongi’s already ahead and you don’t get HOW has he managed to come that far???

also not to mention that the gap between the two of you is large and now you’re just struggling to even move

also doesn’t help oNE bit with how good of a handyman yoongi also is because that is one secure knot you got there sir

it’s only dawning in you that you’re NOT well-versed in swimming!!

not even close to an expert!!! all you know are the basics

but the basics seem hard to even apply when you’re dragging a king-sized duvet cover by your legs

you’d expect more skills from someone whose family owns water-centric properties bUT NO <3

you’re flailing almost to the bottom and your eyes sting then your limbs feel heavy

you’re not necessarily drowning either, it just feels so difficult to swim back up

you’re about to try again and boost yourself up by pushing from the floor but then suddenly you’re being HAULED BACK UP

you have no chance to even try and get away because you know that the hand around your waist aren’t yoongi’s

“are you out of your goddamn mind???”

you instinctively take a big gulp of air when you come up the surface, legs fluttering now that you have some type of support to keep you up

“why would you do this?? who did this??”

the deep voice only registers in you seconds later that it’s taehyung who’s in front of you and holding you up, staring you down intensely

your puzzlement only frustrates him even more, going back down while keeping his hands on your waist before he untangles the duvet cover by your legs rather quickly and powerfully

he emerges back up and he’s looking at you with sO much stress that you wanna dive back down

“y-yoo-...”

you don’t even manage to finish speaking before taehyung snaps his gaze away from you and really yELLS

“YOONGI!!!”

as if he didn’t manage to startle you enough, he looks back at you and pats at you all over out of instinct, wanting to know if you’re hurt by any means

you’re more shocked but it’s over the fact that you’re finally seeing him again

this isn’t the first time you’ve swam with taehyung but this IS the first time in this context

you’ve never been this close to him either and you’re out of breath just by looking at him

he doesn’t seem to share the sentiment though because he looks like he’s gonna pull his hair out in both relief and frustration

“oh my god! i fucking thought that my soulmate would die in a — i-in a bedsheet!”

you are so ridiculous that it actually makes his heart clench

he intentionally didn’t come to see you for a week because he was so hurt over your rejection

he did see you from a distance and he also has a particular someone to watch over you, but he never imagined that you’d be doing THIS

his heart just minutes ago was beating against his ribcage because his soulmate was in danger!!! he physically and literally cannot drown but that’s what it felt like

“i’m your soulmate?”

your breathless gasp explains it all

:O

oh so...

oh my god how could you have nOT known this all along???

HOW COULD YOU BE SO OBLIVIOUS

taehyung probably acted this way and most especially that way when he ignored you!!!

you vaguely remember yoongi telling you that pearls PROBABLY mean a lot to taehyung even if the tone he’s used on you is beyond certain

the pearl ring was meant for courting!!!

that explains why yoongi gasped and looked at you inrcredulously!!!!

no he’s been courting you ALL this time

you are so..... insuffeable

“i’m so sorry!!” 

you’ve crammed in twelve years of experience into two minutes of critical thinking, throwing your arms around taehyung and burying your face into his neck

he grunts a bit at that but he’s not complaining at all

“you mUST hate me,” you frown and the need to cry overpowers you, taehyung sensing it again which is why he immediately strokes your nape in comfort

“i could never.”

the waves come back and even if they’re present, the water was calming

you’re too entranced with tae and your realizations to even notice that the water felt so much better compared to when it was dead still

it’s when you hear a familiar set of giggles that you sNAP your head in anger

yOONGI????

yoongi’s much more near you now, floating and floating until you make the move to look down and see not a duvet cover, but rather a tangerine-colored tail by him

all you’ve been doing this day is squeaking

tae, although still a lil bit mad at yoongi because he’s endangered you, smiles at his informant who’s helped make him last through the week

“half-merman!! i’m sorry if i didn’t tell you sooner, y/n. but since tae’s full, that’s the reason he could only come on land once a month! and since i’m half, i could only come underwater once a month!!”

he grins at his explanation he’s been trying to piece together for the last couple of months

ok maybe years

it probably explained to why it’s no accident that he’s clicked with you instantly and he trusts you with his whole life!! you were truly a gentle human that’s an all-rounder

also explains to why yoongi wasn’t all THAT shocked when you brought him out one day on his first year of working and pleaded taehyung to rise up with only even his eyes blinking up at him

no wonder tae warmed up to yoongi quick even if he did say he had distrust with majority of humans!!

how could you not doubt for one second that it’s the reason why he’s always been really good at swimming too and holding his breath

yoongi chose his day of the month to be today because you were so down in the dumps, and aLSO for the reasoning that he missed the boys so that’s why he’s going down there in a heartbeat

taehyung pinches at your thigh, a bright grin on your face when you come face to face with him after waving yoongi goodbye

“are you gonna make me wait another twelve years more?”

he pecks your cheek and it doesn’t feel platonic anymore, a giddy smile in realization that you’ve finally come to your senses

“would you mind?”

://

the teasing lilt in your voice doesn’t seem to go anywhere anytime soon hee-hee

“maybe a little but-“

“no more waiting.”

you kiss taehyung and almost launch yourself at him, savoring the taste of him on your tongue that he has to grip your thighs around his waist a little tighter

yeah ur a little slow but ur spirits are high!! you’re on the right direction!!

you’re definitely worth waiting for

and panicking over

and courting

and loving

:)

[gimbapchefs]

hi this will be a sappy post but bear with me...today (5/16) marks 7 years i've had this blog (lucky 7 wowow) and i just want to take this day to appreciate all of y'all who have found my blog and sent me love 💖

i started this sideblog when i was 13 because i had just started getting into kpop and didn't want to clog up my main blog with a bunch of snsd and exo posts. in 2015 i found bts and since then my blog and tumblr has become a safe spot that i can come to when i need happiness and warmth. ngl i was one of those lurkers that would see so many posts but didn't reblog or like for whatever reason so i apologize on behalf of 14-16 y/o me 😬. i never thought that i'd still have this blog 7 years later and be so active.

i didn't start posting gifs until the end of last year because i remembered i got ps with my dummy high college tuition (at least something was included for "free"😂) and it really was this post that blew up one night that made me want to keep making gifs. at that time i felt so much love seeing your reactions through your reblog tags, and i still do. i read every set of tags y'all write in your reblogs and will continue to because they bring me so much joy. i know my gifsets aren't the most amazing out there (some of you on this platform have the most pristine quality and coloring and i admire you so much 😣), but i'm still happy that i am making some of y'all's days even just a smidge bit brighter.

thank you to every single one of you whether you just leave likes or you reblog and leave me a boatload of tags to enjoy (no rly keep writing paragraphs in your tags i love it). thank you to those who leave me little messages in my ask box, my heart actually leaps when i read them 💓💗. thank you to all my amazing mutuals that i've made mainly over the last few months - i haven't gotten to talk to you all individually (my messages are open tho 👀), but you all are a reason why i keep coming to tumblr at every hour of the day 🌼❤️.

i'm so so so happy i've found a community where i can have a mental breakdown about bts and y'all will join me at any point of the day...but seriously y'all are great and i look forward to making more memories with you and more gifsets for you this year 🤗🥰.

i'll end this post by linking some of my favorite gifsets i've made (i really do still like mostly all of the gifsets i've made so this was hard why did i do this to myself...)

🌹jin just being jin /🐥jikook's lifetime long argument /🧈butter's promo 2 years early /🥺this one just melts me /🍌jin losing his bananas /🙈BABY

with much much much love and the fullest heart,

💜nat :)

ok i lied i'm not done 🤩as a bonus here's my favorite video of jimin because it has made me smile when i was in the darkest of times and also you deserve it if you made it to the bottom of this mess 😉

(under the cut is me sapping over my mutuals if you want to read that lol)

ok i was done but i lied again i want to shoutout a few-maybe-more-than-a-few of my mutuals who have meant the most to me :) (this was hard to breakdown to a short-ish list and i really do i appreciate every single one of you)

🌼@userjiminie rafa, my jikook buddy, we've only just started talking but i love our conversations, especially the ones in all caps and i also really look up to you as a creator :)

🌼@rosebowl sHARIKA omg you're like the sweetest person ever?? i love how we've become friends these past few weeks and cherish it (and i will fight off anyone who hurts u)

🌼@yoongisbengaliwife t!! you were one of the first mutuals i actually talked to and you were so kind and warm to me (and still are!!) our talks range from finding sweaty bts clips to career goals and i love that variety

🌼@taemaknae nic if angels were real i think you'd be one, you have the brightest and sweetest energy and i'm happy to call you my foodie soulmate hehehe

🌼@kithtaehyung ryennn/maybe my soulmate haha we've just started chatting but i can tell we will become friends hehe you deserve all the compliments so pls take them :3

🌼@taechnological saeee thank u for tagging me in the most thirst/heart palpitating posts i truly love screaming with you and will continue to scream with you

+ all my other mutuals that i cherish 💖🥺many of you have left asks in my inbox and it makes my heart so warm when you do so thank u for being sparks in my life 🤩💗

@jimindelune @gukreum @taegiseok @knjspjm @lovetrivia @btsaudge @jinjagi @yoongistics @duckjinnie @intokook @r-m @bibillyhillsbaby @blondesuga @bangtanger @kimtaehyunq @bisexualhobi @cherryjk @solivoire @taehyungq @floraljimin @artsyjoons @yoobijin @lilacjin @taemeout @suga-ssi @rookiehobi @hazeltae @mintvae @hobeah @candynamu @yoonglet @ggukminii @jinbestboy @pinkjjoon @blueandtaes @calicooky

OK i think this is all my mutuals??? i could very much be missing someone and i am sososososo sorry if i am pls let me know. i already said this but i'll say it again, i love every single one of you and joining this community was the best decision i ever made so thank u soso much and here i go on my 8th year with this blog :) 💜

[izukult]

Okok awesome! 🖤🖤 I do have a wide variety in my music taste but artists most in my rotation are definitely Tyler the creator, Doja cat (streets?? Pls on rpt 🤤) and Arctic Monkeys, (pls don’t feel restrained by these artists tho !) very much chill vibes and driving late at night if that makes sense asjfkdkka. Personality wise I’m pretty awkward and fairly antisocial, very much ->🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️😨 but once you get to know me I’m pretty loud and a little much tbh 🤭 like my laugh is genuinely TOO loud lmaooo, and I would very much appreciate it with Kageyama if that’s not too much to ask 😳👉🏼👈🏼 thank you again 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

hello my love. if i hadn’t known you, i wouldn’t have done this any kind of justice. BUT STRAP YOUR ASS IN WIFEY YOU KNOW WHAT IT BE. @chubbybunny111

you and kageyama.

oh god you and kageyama would scare the fuck out of me as a couple. have you seen those memes like boy who doesn’t talk all too much 💖 girl who loud asf? you two. LMAOOO.

definitely you two make fun of each other. on the daily. but, he also grumbles little compliments to u all nervous like. i feel like he would very much like your hair?? like,, it’s so curly,, it’s so pretty,,,, do a fella a favor and let him play with it, yeah?

i’m just imaging you in your straight clothes from high school and him in a disgusting unwashed sweaty ass volleyball uniform😻😻 IM SORRY OK ANYWAY

you two share earbuds all the time. just sittin next to each other in moderate silence with tunes playing.

he is so bad at texting LMAOOO. you’d send an ironic emoji and he’s done for? he just stares at it. blankly. void of any emotion other than confusion.

“i’m sorry did you just send ‘🤕’ after telling me you love me?”

“hey, you’re crying. why are you using 😋 right now?”

i’m sorry for making fun of him but also i’m NOT THATS SO FUNNY.

now, don’t take what i said earlier wrong, he’s not just like oh yes quiet around you (that’s not his personality people need to be better🙄), but when you two are in public he’s not like really affectionate? unless he’s jealous because he is (infact) an insecure bitch, but whenever that happens it feels forced and awkward figure that out kags.

we see the way he acts with hinata like? if he’s comfortable with you he’s going to be loud as fuck there’s no denying it. yall get told to shut up like on the daily?

shares his milk with you😁 not his food tho

LMAOFJAOFJS IM SORRY BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT MANS RELATIONSHIP WITH EATING? you ain’t getting between that babe

anyway here’s a fucking playlist for your hot ass i am literally in love with you. i really like this playlist tbh :)

1. sometimes (backwood); gigi- starting off with my favorite song at the moment. this isn’t really completely a deep meaning with the lyrics thing, because this song is pretty sad? i think it’s so vibey. it’s so good. it’s just a gentle, quiet night with the windows open and a full moon. however, like i said he’s insecure and has overthought while listening to this song.

2. breezeblocks; alt-J- mostly just a banger, indeed. you’re driving (i would not trust him behind the wheel? ever?), the lights are super pretty, he’s looking at you from the passenger seat ‘discretely’. he doesn’t want you to go, so those lyrics are accurate, but he’s also not a murderer dw😁 he couldnt

3. i wanna be yours; arctic monkeys- PHEW. OKAY. OKAY JESUS CHRSIT. no because you don’t understand yall are in LOVE? like in LOVE. he probably kisses you for the first time while this shit playing. he also, by default, blushes EVERY TIME THIS SONG COMES ON. such a lil bitch baby🙄

4. sucker; jonas brothers- stop before you say anything this song is unironically so good. i? could imagine you like? terribly dancing to this i dunno. i feel like if you got tobio in the right mood he would jam to some music w you‼️

5. EARFQUAKE; tyler, the creator- i think kageyama was like the kind of guy who mentally was constantly like “i want a gIRLFRIEND FUCK🤬🤬🤬”, but lile also once it happens? svary as fuck. have we not talked about how he does not really like himself much (thinking ab him practicing his smile rn poor baby). so yea, bad self confidence & in love with you. this song. PLUS, it’s a banger.

6. streets; doja cat- you at him lmao. do i have to say anything else?

7. ivy; frank ocean- he would put this song on a playlist for you and then not tell you about the song or the playlist and still get nervous about how youd react lmaooo. however, yknow in movies when like the guy looks at the girl and the music swells? that but with an emo volleyball player and frank ocean

8. redbone; childish gambino- very chill vibes and driving late at night energy. this song plays while yall lay on like ur couch or smth and you’re messing with the ends of his hair and he’s playing videos on his phone with one hand and like kind of awkwardly nervously trying to hold ur hand with the other and he just does the pinky thing thAT WE WERE TALKIN BOUT LMAOO

9. cocoa butter kisses; chance the rapper- i feel like if you were to smoke, this is the song you’d get high to. i don’t have much reason other than that? i can just see this playing in the background as you two exist together

10. my kind of woman; mac demarco- man, you’re really driving him mad🙄 BUT‼️ I THINK? ITS ALRIGHT WITH HIM😳. he’s absolutely whipped and he didn’t even know he had the ABILITY. i feel like you like to prove people wrong, so here’s another instance.

11. casual; doja cat- i know everyone hates getting played, but you feel like you would take a LOTTA precautions to avoid that, including the whole walls up deal. you’re super upfront about it? you’re not like secretly testing the waters, you’re like ‘if ur fucking w me gtfo of my face lol’ but clearly you wouldn’t talk to kags like that (however he’d hurriedly say he’s not a little too loud)

12. afraid; the neighbourhood- ABSOLUTE TOBIO ENERGY (also oikawa energy, i think its so cute that we are married and the mfs we choose to love r rivals). but anywho, absolute MAD tobio energy. yes he also takes out his insecurities with anger don’t actually like he’s not gonna have to work on that lmao

13. sex on fire; kings of leon- arguably one of the best songs to ever exist. he would be like ?!😳 the first time he heard it and youd probably like flick him LMAOFJAODJ this is just a good jam song for you two. he would definitely sing this song with you, don’t care don’t care

14. scary love; the neighbourhood- i’m beginning to think the neighbourhood just has kageyama energy? remind me to look into that later. either way, i’m putting extreme emphasis on this song. this song is completely how he feels. this song is IT. he watches in anticipation as he “shows you it cos it’s a good song”. please just be nice to him (while also bullying him😁)

15. when you were young; the killers- you’ve made out to this song i’m so sorry. MAYBE THATS JUST BECAUSE I THINK THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECTTTTJRJEJTI SONG. god. good fucking music. equal mix of good song and the lyrics hitting

[l1sa-s1mps0n]

Day 7-

Forgot to weigh myself in the morning and didn’t want to do it after eating

I drank some lemon and mint water again so I don’t know if I should add 5kcal because it’s yesterday’s ones... I didn’t really want them in there but it wasn’t coming out of the bottle so it’s in there now lol. Imma add it in anyways cos it’s only 5 kcal even though that’s basically worth one precious grape

Breakfast- 129 kcal

I had another cheese plate thing again cos yesterday’s one was so good that it was all I could think of. This time was less variety but still very delicious(except from the cucumber- never again 🤮). I didn’t finish the coffee cos it went cold but I drank about half of it and didn’t bother wanting to change the screen shot

Lunch- Hartleys jelly and one bar of 70% dark chocolate (88 kcal)

I’m still upset that I read 50kcal as 5, but let’s not talk about that. Jelly is nice but by the end of it, I always feel sick from just eating jelly so I diced up 2 blocks and mixed it in with the jelly. It tastes good. :))

Dinner- diet noodles (98kcal)

You could defo make this way less calories cos there’s some stuff I only added for taste but I wouldn’t suggest eating it for an actual dinner if u do but for a snack instead? If your vegan/ vegetarian, you only really need to remove the prawns. We only had frozen garlic so I had to cut it instead of mash but I think I like it better this way. It looks like a lot and it feels like a lot as well. Haven’t felt so full and guilt free in ages. Highly recommend. Ngl- might just eat the vegetable stock on its own as soup cos it was so goooddddd.

Snacks- 180kcal

Red apple (60kcal), 1 tbsp peanut butter (100kcal), 5 strawberries (20kcal).

I haven’t had apple and peanut butter in ages and I’m going on a really strict diet starting tomorrow and was like lemme just treat myself before the most agonising next couple of days to weeks depending on how long I last. Notice how every time I get something extra it’s never just that I’m a fat shit, I always have to add some bs excuse lol. I don’t regret it tho, it was so delicious + my calories are a perfect number sooo... also, I forgot why I stopped eating apples even tho they are my fave then looking at this plate I realised- the 20kcal strawberries take up more space than the 160kcal apple and peanut butter. That one small snack (and it really was a small apple) was way more than any of my meals today ;-;

Total: 5 + 129 + 88 + 98 + 180 - 1 = 499 but let’s pretend it’s 500 for my sanity

Thoughts: not bad, didn’t do any exercise cos I was doing my school work all day. I could defo stayed in a 200-300 number but I’m not completely mad that I ate tbh. Ngl tho, I’m a bit of an idiot cos I basically had a mini panic over my meal plan and like eating too much (for 300kcal all day) then decide to add a whole 180 extra and I’m just like- yup delicious. Anyways see u tomorrow :))

[akakeiiji]

ayo its me your bff and hERES MY MF REQUEST BRO 😤💕 so can i request a bokuto hc where he's baking with his s/o but she can't cook. She keeps trying to eat the batter tho and its all fluffy hehe i hope i dont mind ily u dumb hoe tf

LMAOO SUUNI YOU DUMB DORK ILYT (fun fact: this request was based off of smth that happened to her irl) 

THIS CAME OUT MORE CRACK-LIKE THAN FLUFF BC I LITERALLY CANNOT WRITE RN, I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND LMAOO

-`,✎ Bokuto baking with an S/O who can’t bake

Nobody could blame you and Bokuto for your sudden desire to bake

After the plethora of Tasty videos you two binge-watched, it was frankly inevitable

So, despite it being 1 in the morning, you and your boyfriend rushed out to the nearest 24-hour store to buy ingredients for the easiest recipe you found

Chocolate chip cookies seemed fairly simple enough so you hoped your chances of messing up were reduced at least a little bit

You two would be the only people at the store and the lone employee there would just be so confused because it’s 1:30 in the morning and the Black Jackal’s wing spiker just burst into the store wearing matching owl pajamas with you

You two had to buy almost all the ingredients because the only ones you guys had in the house were butter and eggs

Yeah, you don’t really cook much

You two moved in together just recently but were never able to actually do something like this before

Bokuto was always busy and you frankly didn’t trust yourself enough not to burn down the building, so this was a first for you two

When you two got home, you started immediately, not even bothered by the late hour

The kitchen was already a mess after only 5 minutes

Bokuto accidentally plopped the flour bag down on the counter too hard and a bunch of flour exploded everywhere

Then you accidentally broke two eggs when you lost your balance after  laughing too hard at the sight of Bokuto with said flour all over his face

But you were not deterred, nothing was going to stop you two

You weren’t going to let your clumsiness and inexperience hold you back, you could do this

“BABE STOP THAT’S SALT NOT SUGAR!”

Okay, you couldn’t do it. Not on your own at least

To your surprise, Bokuto was actually pretty capable in the kitchen

“Bokuto, you never told me you baked!”

“Oh yeah, I always did with my siblings before.”

I’m soft, big brother Bokuto is my shit

He was still a mess though, a capable one yes, but a mess nonetheless

He kept ignoring the recipe and just went with his guts which freaked you out

You started panicking when he started eyeballing stuff, you kept insisting on using the measuring cups but Bokuto was all like “Pfft, it’s fine, it’ll work out in the end.”

He would just throw everything in the bowl in a seemingly random manner but he was still confident that everything would be fine

You helped with the little things like mixing or cutting up the chocolates but you spent most of your time watching Bokuto’s unconventional baking techniques

He’d smear a bit of batter on your cheeks while you were focused on reading the recipe on your phone, worrying over how you two didn’t do anything the recipe called for

“Hey hey, (Y/N) relax okay? Let’s just have fun!”

The kitchen looked like pandemonium afterward but the batter actually looked good

“Okay, open wide!!”

“KOU IT TASTES GOOD!”

“YAY!!”

You two are so loud, I swear, the neighbors are so tired of ya’ll not like that, this is pg bruh

You and Bokuto probably ate a third of the raw cookie dough, and you probably ate 3/4 of that portion

BOKUTO HAD TO PRY THE BOWL OF DOUGH AWAY FROM YOU I SWEAR

You kept snatching little bits of dough while you and Bokuto were putting them on the baking pans

“If you keep eating the dough then we won’t have any left to bake!! Stop!!”

“I can’t help it! It’s so yummy.”

He’d lift the baking pans up over your head, far from your reach and run to the oven as you chase after him, fruitlessly trying to grab more dough

Once they were in the oven, Bokuto was practically bouncing with excitement

He’d squat in front of the oven and stare at it for a while, grinning happily

He’s so happy because he made it with you i’m dead

You two start cleaning up while waiting for the cookies to bake and it somehow ends up with you two having a mini food fight

You two ended up throwing handfuls of flour at each other and made an even bigger mess

By the time the cookies were done, you and Bokuto were still cleaning up and there was still flour all over you two

BOKUTO WAS SO EXCITED THAT HE ALMOST GRABBED THE PANS WITHOUT AN OVEN MITT

Thanks to you, the crisis was averted, his coach would have strangled him if he ended up burning his spiking hand

The cookies smelled divine though

“Gordon Ramsey who? Sorry, we only know Bokuto Koutarou.”

Bokuto literally just randomly threw ingredients into a bowl but the end result still came out great, which you really couldn’t wrap your head around but that wasn’t important

What was important was the scrumptious cookies waiting to be devoured

After taking a billion photos for Bokuto’s Instagram, you guys finished all the cookies in less than an hour

WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING BECAUSE THERE WAS A LOT OF THEM

You two ended up falling into a food coma and fell asleep on the couch, flour still visible on your clothes and hair

You two were a mess, to say the least, but you really made a good team

“We should join MasterChef.”

“No, Kou, it wouldn’t be fair to the other teams.”

“True, we’re just too powerful.”

[duvayknox]

HARD-BOILED MOVIE REVIEW: PROTEGE Starring: SAMUEL L. “Muthafuckin” JACKSON & MAGGIE Q

It was one of those small/Covid-Free movie theaters. Ya digg??

U know the kind where u have to wear a mask to eat ya popcorn wit extra/fake butter.

Very few peeple there. 

Because they are scared to cum outside and into a movie theater due to CORONA VIRUS that has never been seen.

In other werds: the kind of movie theater I like to go to.

Its beautiful cuz I git to have the whole theater to mahself.

I was there to see PROTEGE wit SAMUEL L. JACKSON and mah favorite Asian Bitch MAGGIE Q.

SAM saves her ass as a young gul then trains her up to be an ASSASSIN.

And she goes round KILLING muthafuckaz hoo deserve dat shit.

So rite off this is mah kinda shit.

I knew it was when I saw the trailer dat I wood be back to see da Joint.

SAMUEL L came on the screen looking like NIGGA MANCHU wit this big ass MUSTACHE.

He finds MAGGIE Q as a young girl afta she done shot up the place where her Daddy n Mama nem had a bizness–and had had been strong-armed by these Asian Thugs.

Years later afta Maggie has been trained Her and Sam go about MURDERING nassy type-o-muthafuckaz hoo are a DANGER to da Werld.

Sam gits secret messages bout hoo to OFF frum sum Mysterious Fool.

And dats how he knows hoo to TAKE-OUT.

Butt true to da TROPE used in these kinda flicks he gits Double-Crossed and allegedly DEADED and dat leaves Maggie on her own to fight the BAD GUYS.

Which she does like the bad ass asian Bitch dat she is.

One thang bout Maggie she may be SKINNY as a muthafucka butt she got SWAG on screen–and I will watch her in anythang.

Just the way she walks across the screen made mah Dick hard as Vietnamese rithmetic.

I git up n take a piss and when I cum back She still killing muthafuckaz.

MICHAEL KEATON was in the movie as a Bad Man and he and Maggie wind up FIGHTING & FUCKING. 

And dat shit made me kinda jealous. 

Cuz I wanted 2 B da one up in dat Skinny Trim (I caint lie I wanna Fuck MAGGIE So BAD).

So even tho Her and Michael Keaton is ENEMIES they wind up FUCKING …. (sound familiar)?

This movie was bout worth $5 at the most butt when U aint got nuthing better to doo u pay excess loot for da shit.

I mean-it was shot good n all/and the action was good butt da Story was only half-way decent.

MAGGIE Q needs to be in a really good movie where she gits dat TOP Billing and kicks ass thru-out/and Saves the werld frum lousy muthafuckaz like JOE BIDEN or DONALD TRUMP or DR FAUCINSTEIN covid-amping ass.

Like she had in NIKITA wich they fucked up n Cancelled.

Well-they needa brang her back in the MOVIE version of dat again.

This film was took place in SAIGON where it aint nuthing butt HOES and KORRUPTION. 

A lotta Niggaz left sum CABLINASIAN babies over there during dat bullshit Vietnam War (see SPIKE LEE movie wit DELROY LINDO called 5 BLOODS)

Butt what U expect afta the United States was over there during VIETNAM?!

That muthafuckin city aint been right SINCE!

I like dat da film confirms what errybody knows down deep butt WONT/CAINT admit to themselves: 

That these PRIVATE/PHILANTROPIC Organizations aint nuthing butt FRONTS for summa da most DASTARDLIEST shit IMAGINABLE! Sumpen I been saying for years. 

And dats basikally ALL of em are involved in either DRUGS/GUN RUNNING or worse: CHILD SEX TRAFFICKING.

That ENDING tho?

Imma leave dat 2 U.

Butt they needa make anutha one butt THIS time shorten dat shit up and let Mah Bitch MAGGIE Q do her thang in dat Rare Bookshop she owned in da movie.

–the end–

[5h4rk1zzl3]

mmmm im tryna avoid binging rn and am bored and we know how tht leads to it soooooo im gonna do all 30 days in one post :)

day 1- idk the exact tbh. dont have a weigh scale at my house bc everyone else is naturally skinny but me, im gonna try and buy one soon tho.

day 2- around 5'4 ehhh im not terribly mad about it but i definitely would prefer to be taller.

day 3- a pic of my thinspiration and why:

i really like how their shoulders are boney & the skinny limbs & the slight abs omg & the collar bones AHHHH

day 4- tbhhh i have quite a few fears:

-i wont look how i wanna look at my ugw

-stretch marks wont fade enough & will still be just as bad when im skinny

-saggy skin :/ im loosing around 60 lbs so i think that might happen idk tho

-people wont even realize i lost weight??? idk i feel like ppl arent even gonna realize for some reason bc i only wear all baggy clothes anyways idk makes no sense cos u can still tell but whtever

-ppl will still view me as the fat sister.... uh idk i just always have been it and i feel like ill still be viewed as it even when im skinny

-ill gain it all back ¿¿ kinda cliche but it already happened to me and i dont wanna let it happen it time.

day 5- yeah im doing it for myself mostly but theres alotta reasons like the main one being i used to be skinny and was so much happier and more comfortable then... but theres alotta smaller reasons like maybe get more (good) attention, get praise from ppl, can wear better clothes, idk not feel so insecure

day 6- yeahhhhhhhhh uhhh i think mostly it happens when i get mad and then i cant help myself :| i gotta work on that but ive been pretty good with it for the past 2 months actually i have binged a fee times but each time i worked out enough to kinda even it out i feel like (if tht even makes sense)

day 7- yeah but they think im doing it healthily because i lie abt my cals

day 8-mostly running on a treadmill

day 9- uhmmm no not rlly besides my parents... actually yeah maybe some of my exes friends :|

day 10- time tbh... the amount of time i spend working out is insane im so behind on all my fkn school work

day 11- idk i dont rlly keep track of blogs i kinda use pinterest for thinspo mostly

day 12-alot of string beans, strawberries & tht 45 calorie toast

day 13- its been pretty healthy because i wanted to avoid going down a spiral again. (eating 1500 working out for 1.5 hours) but im seeing no results and i been doing this for 2 months and now i feel myself starting to slip. ive been eating under 500 for the past week and starting to work out for 2-4 hours a day

day 14- 95, idk i was supposed to reach it by the end of july but now i think it may take alot longer :/

day 15- no

day 16- 2 months ago i used to be pretty skinny march of 2020 and then covid happened and i gained like 40 lbs in a year and now i wanna get back down

day 17- idk?????? sometimes i think i do but no im not diagnosed, like last year i used adderall to loose weight and idk if that counts as one but i wish i could do tht again but cant get my hands on any

day 18- bagels omg. so high in cals. so yummy. like i cant afford it bc ONE is 290 cals and then i always put butter so another 80 (relatively low cal butter)

day 19- its actually been a while so i had to check the door dash app lol. but may 1st i ordered popeyes :,) mostly for my family

day 20- none. i dont diet i just count calories

day 21- idk?????? i wear xlarge hoodies & sweats everyday

day 22-i think around 120, covid and a mix of my bf breaking up wm caused me to be super depressed and i gained sm up to 170

day 23- yeah i wanna look like all the perfect ppl i see

day 24- i dont like it like idk why ppl would be pro why would u wish it upon anyone.

day 25- yeahhhhhhhhh i did before but i learned now not to because it honestly doesnt get rid of all the calories & leaves u hungrier but i did a year ago

day 26- TBHHHHH having sex again LMAOO i havent since i got fat bc im too insecure

day 27- not well :|

day 28- YES. my mom & sister both have it and i want it SO BAD. i didnt even have it a year ago when i was at my lowest weight which is so annoying

day 29- sebastian stan😍😍😍😍😍LMAOOOOOO

day 30- 10 facts ab me

1- im scared of driving a car LMAOO

2- total insomniac

3- can run a 5 min mile (at 0 incline tho)

4- read ALOT

5- obsessed w marvel

6- in love w sebastian stan :,)

7- love jetskiing

8- gonna move to nyc in a year

9- love coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

10- currently am failing 4/6 of my classes

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

2019 favorite songs (male version)

A/N: This is all my personal opinions and these are the songs that stood out to me this year and are the most memorable for me. Also this post will be long 

Here is my top 10 for those who don’t want to see the rest

1. Rooftop - N.Flying

2. Soso - Winner

3. Wonderland - Ateez

4. Highway to Heaven - NCT 127

5. Undercover - A.C.E

7. Lit - Oneus

8. Sweet Chaos- Day6

9. Savage - A.C.E

10. Fuego - U-Kwon

January 

“Lonely Night” - KNK 

I was anticipating KNK’s return. I was very curious as to what they would do after leaving their company and having Youjin leave and Dongwon join. But they did not disappoint at all. Dongwon proved himself very much and it’s one of my favs this year. 

“I’m OK” - iKon

I was so ready for this song. I love it so much. I was so ready for this song I was at school ready for it. iKon have never disappointed me with a song and this one is no exception. I adore it and listening to it makes me miss B.I. 

“Say My Name” & “Hala Hala” - Ateez

Ateez was always on my radar. But these songs really made me notice them you know. I still bop to them both daily and like this is peak Kpop to me. This is the standard I expect from groups. Ateez really is out here to kill

“Rooftop” - N.flying

This song might be favorite this year. I’m not the biggest N.Flying stan (Really getting into them tho) and I love this song. This song might be my number 1 this year. I love it so much. 

February

“Want” - Taemin

Taemin is a god. That’s all I really have to say. Like Taemin really is on another level. This whole album is a blessing. 

“Enough” - SF9 

SF9 are a group to look out for in my opinion. They really have their own sound and I can appreciate that. I have all of their albums in my playlist. I listen to this one frequently. 

March

“Tuxedo” - Ravi

If you want to be happy. Listen to this song. It just puts a smile on my face. I genuinely like all of Ravi’s albums and think he is really promising as a musician. 

“Thrilla Killa” - VAV

Still kinda sad Jacob isn’t in this one because wow. But VAV are underrated kings of the year. Thrilla Killa is such a fun song. I really have been enjoying VAV’s releases. 

“Miroh”- Stray Kids 

I will be jamming to Miroh until the day i die. I will be doing the Haka part of the choreo to this dance, until the day I die. 

“Vibe” - 1Team

This might possibly one of my favorite debuts of all time. The song is so chill and mature yet still fun and I feel like you got to hear every member’s strengths and I adore it to bits and pieces. 

April 

“Doves” - Gree

(Couldn’t find a gif for the mv)

I really fell in love with this song after stumbling on it accidentally. The song is really different and I really really like it. 

“Tu Eres” - Newkidd

It makes me so happy to see Hansol find his place somewhere. After he left SM and the SMrookies, he joined The Unit and I was just kind of like when is he going to find his place, is he going to go solo? I’m just happy he found his place. All around this is a solid debut. 

“Bloom Bloom” - The Boyz

I have had a hard time getting into the The Boyz, I still don’t know any names or anything but this is the first song that really peaked my interest. I really love songs like this. It’s so fun and fresh to listen to and it puts me in a good mood. 

“Bet Bet” - Nu’est

Nu’est is really coming for me. I love every release they have brought out over the years. They are just so good. Baekho’s vocals are god tier and I adore this song. The album is amazing as well. 

May

“Ah Yeah” - Winner

Winner have been so refreshing and just lovely lately. Their recent comebacks have really made me adore them even more. “Ah Yeah” is a song I have been listening to a lot lately and it just makes me really happy. 

“Undercover” - A.C.E

We all know how I feel about A.C.E. This song is in my top 10 this year, maybe even top 5. A.C.E have so much talent and the video and the styling are amazing. But like the rap is God tier. 

“Highway to Heaven” - NCT 127

I chose this song over “Superhuman” because it’s superior to me. Highway to Heaven makes me feel like a college student, going on a spring break roadtrip with my friends. Also in my top 10 this year. 

“Twilight” - Oneus

I didn’t put their debut in this, even though it was amazing because Twilight is superior. I love this concept, this song and these boys. Oneus are proving themselves to be monster rookies and I am here for it. “Now” is a really good b-side. 

June

“Wave” & “Illusion” - Ateez

It’s not surprise that Ateez makes the list again. This album was the one I bopped too all summer and I will never not “HAKUNA MATATA YAAAA” 

“RPM” - SF9

I LOVE SF9. Look RPM is superior in everyway and form. The choreo, the styling, the song, the mv, JUST EVERYTHING. I was so shook when this song came out omg. 

“Side Effects” - Stray Kids

Boy my head hurts. I love Stray Kids, I love their songs. This song totally caught me off guard and as much as I prefer it when Stray Kids isn’t as angry, this song is amazing and no one can change my mind. 

“Questions” - Zelo

I missed my baby. It’s nice to hear his voice again. I love this track it’s really nice and summery. Looking forward to more things by my baby. 

July

“Rolling Rolling” - 1team 

1Team are rookies I didn’t know what to expect from. But their songs are so chill omg. I love every single one of them and like I just feel hanging out at the beach when i listen to them. 

“Time of our life” - Day6

Day6. I love this song. They had so much fun with it and it’s just so good omg. Day6 for the win. K-Bands for the win. 

“Sunset” - KNK

Oh lord. KNK came for my throat. I want more KNK in 2020 because I need it. This song reminds me of a fashion show. 

“Give me more (ft. De La Ghetto, Play n Skillz)” - VAV

Fun summer songs always win for me. Also VAV always win for me. I really like the dance and just the vibe of the song. It is kinda generic but I still really like it and listen to it alot. 

“Boom” NCT Dream

Boy these boys have grown up so much. It warms my heart and makes me sad at the same time. I still listen to this daily. 

“Face” - Woosung/Sammy 

I love this song so much. It’s so refreshing and nice to listen to. Sammy’s voice is like butter. 

August

“Come back home” - Target

This song surprised me. I generally don’t go into groups I don’t know with high hopes, but I really like this song and the choreography. 

“Final Kiss” - IZ

This is a band I have been getting into too. Final Kiss is a great way to end the summer and it’s a really nice refreshing and fun. The drummer really caught my eye, because he’s hella cute and the main vocalist is so talented. 

September

“Hit” and “Fear” - Seventeen 

Fear made me nearly crap myself at the beginning of the song. It caught me so off guard but in the best way. Hit is just such a fun song and a hype song. I yell along to it in the shower almost every time. 

“Lit” - Oneus

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. How they made such a fun song that I willbe listening to 10 years later is besides me. Oneus really out proving themselves. Another one for in my top 10. 

“Human” and “Daredevil” - Zico

I have mentioned in the past how much I love Zico and his music and this was the return I wanted. The Thinking album is just amazing. Zico manages to put every emotion there is into an album. 

October (A lot of great releases here)

“Jopping” - SuperM

I will be jopping to the end of time. Look a lot of people hate the thought of SuperM and stuff. But like, to me SuperM is just alot of amazing in one group and the songs are really cool. So yeah and they created their own verb. 

“Why” - ONF

(not the right mv but yeah)

This song really put ONF on the map for me. It’s so different and nice. I love it. The mv is also incredibly and the vocals are too. 

“Wonderland” - Ateez

Again, no surprise. This song is still on repeat for me. I love it, I want to tattoo it on my forehead. i want Yunho to “Kajaaaa” all over me. I love it, love it, love it. Can’t wait to see them live in 2020. Also in my top 10 this year. 

“Good Bam” - N.Flying

A chill feel good song that I adore. Me and my friend talk alot on voice chat on discord and at the end of the night we say ‘Good Bam’ because of this song. It’s just so fun. 

“Runaway” - TXT 

I am not the biggest TXT stan, I like some songs and that’s about it but, Run away is an amazing song. The mv is lovely, the song is great and I really like the choreography. 

“Poison” - VAV

VAV came for my throat and they didn’t have to. Also in my top 10 this year. 

“Sweet Chaos” - Day6

I listen to this and i want to scream along. We got a lot this comeback, Young K’s forehead, a full album and all of Day6 in suits. Another one for in my top 10. 

“So So” - Winner

SoSo came out after I broke up with my boyfriend and let me tell you, perfect timing. This mv is one of the best I have seen ever and the song is amazing. Winner really stepped up their game this year. Another top 10. 

“Follow” - Monsta X

This will be a Monsta X era I will cherish forever. Enough said. 

“Savage” - A.C.E

We all know my A.C.E tangent I went on and I will not apologize. Another one for the top 10. No one does it like A.C.E. MORE A.C.E IN 2020. Also Wow’s rap in this song needs to be 10 verses longer, for my health. 

November

“Calling my name” - GOT7

Got7′s best title track yet? IDK but to me it is. I also love all the b-sides and I feel like everyone got to show off their strengths. 

“Make this” - 1Team

The beat drop in this song is something I haven’t quite heard before. I really like it and the video reminds of like a 90′s video game which is pretty cool. 1Team really are my favorite group out of boygroups who debuted this year. 

“Balloon” - Zico

Zico man, I love this video and song so much. It encapsulates alot of my own emotions and it’s beautiful. 

“Blue Flame” - Astro

This song had me so shook. I have really been getting into Astro and this is my first comeback with them and I am not at all disappointed. Astro man...

december

“Fuego” - U Kwon

I love this song so much. I want people to cover dance it, the choreography is so fun and I’d do it myself but I can’t dance. I love the song and it was like the last thing I expected in December and it is in my top 10. 

“Levanter” Stray Kids

a bittersweet comeback. But still beautiful, I’m proud of how far they have come and Stray Kids have never disappointed me. The choreo is lovely and Seungmin’s vocals are beautiful. 

[rosesanthology]

Escape Plan | Matsukawa Issei x F!Reader [mafia!AU]

This took me SO MUCH TIME to write aaaaaah it's not surprising that it's so long :0 i just have many many feelings for Matsukawa Issei ALSO im begging y'all to listen to the playlist before/as you read please !!

Im kinda pissed that i cant add a "read more" option since im on mobile tho :\

(Also ngl at first i planned to get one of the 2 shot but i didn't have the heart to go thru with it)

Warnings : Fluff, it starts with humor but at some point it gets angsty ???? Idk y'all tell me

- Au that could be considered as a ennemies-to-lovers type of situation

[Tags] : @raevaioli and @haikoo like i cannot stress this enough @haikoo this your main manz

- if you could only use one sentence to describe your job to a Karen it would be : stealing from the rich in order to trick other rich people

- you had been what the people would call a spy for most of your life now, the Tokyo based Nekoma Organisation being something close to a family

- you worked with both of your very good friends, Kuroo Testurou and Kozume Kenma

- Kuroo, the leader of your little squad, had been the first one to open up to you when you joined

- he was a gifted chemistry genius and you were sure he could make any poison or soporific out of the most random stuff

- he also had insane combat and physical abilities which made him fit to act in a lab as well as on mission grounds

- Kenma was a little more reserved at first, he was the same age as you but still was really reluctant to accept you as one of his own at first

- when he saw how much Kuroo trusted you and how interested you were in his work he slowly but surely found himself caring for you

- to put it simply Kenma, better known as "apple pi" was a hacker. His job ranged from creating computer viruses to full on enabling the security of whole museums

- despite his cute appearance and shy demeanor he was probably the scariest of you three

- finally, you Y/L L/N was the infiltration and weapons expert of the group, you could weild literally anything from guns, to swords to,,,,,metal rods (but you don't wanna talk about this one) and you were of great help when deciding which infiltration angle was the best in missions

- Kuroo, under the orders of Boss Nekomata, quickly taught you the dangers and ways of the job during your first months working with them, the organisation specializing in outsmarting rich bastards and stealing their precious ressources in order to make "better use of them"

- if they were hoarding a particularly efficient brand of medicine, your goal was to steal it all, and sell it to people in need for free or a low price

- if they were in possession of some important object like let's say,,,,,the construction plans for the emperor's new vacation house, you stole it, made copies to sell at a high price to the highest bidder and your good affiliate, the Fukurodani Corporation would keep an eye on the original as part of their personnal collection, you were fine with that

- yeah they were others organisations like that in Tokyo, your friends from the Fukurodani Corp of course but also the Shiratorizawa elite crime group with who you had worked a couple times before

- ah and there was the Yakuzas too....honestly they were the only group in Tokyo with whom you were still on dangerous terms with

- they didn't like Nekoma in their affairs and you didn't like them in yours, but you tolerated each other

- your boss had established a truce with the representant of the big Yakuza group of your area, Kondo "the viper" Takara, a truly scary woman who had blasted her way to the one of the top positions of the hierarchy

- she even had a cool nickname ヾ(｀ε´)ノ

- but you knew better than to mess with them

- all in all y'all kept doing your jobs well, not bothering anybody

- except for one remaining rivalry with some Miyagi group

- the Aoba Johsai Institution.

- well, rivalry would be a strong word because you kinda got along with that Iwaizumi guy, he was a great hand to hand combat fighter and you respected that

- the others however ? Trash. 👁3👁

- they seem to act like Tokyo will be their territory in the next 5 seconds flat like ??

- THEY DON'T EVEN GO THERE ????

- "they be acting like they can just swoop in and eat OUR rich" you had told Kuroo and Kenma one day over ramen

- spoiler alert : it was a bad idea cause Kuroo snorted and almost made the noodles go up his nose

- no but seriously they always seemed to take advantage of YOUR missions to attract attention

- how did they even know which missions you were on anyway ??? (Kenma and Kunimi are actually good friends cause they play video games together but he'd never tell you that)

- it's like that one time you infiltrated a business company's heir's residence and then you came across a dude named Hanamaki and you had the HARDEST time whisper shouting to him how blowing up the whole place was a bad idea to retrieve one (1) diamond

- at the end you felt so tired that you gave it to him anyway ಥ_ಥ ("just take it ffs" "really ??" "Don't make me regret this")

- they also had the single worst person ever on one of their teams.

- Matsukawa Issei

- just thinking about it made you want to take your metal bat and break something in your shared room with your two other friends

- seriously that guy was like the epitome of clownery

- he's also supposed to be his team's gun expert except that's not the best task for someone who refuses to take anything with him but his freaking FISTS

- the first time you had met y'all ended up being on the same case to assassinate some guy who had kidnapped some cute freckled kid from a place in Miyagi called Karasuno

- EXCEPT HE WAS IN TOKYO SO IT WAS YOUR DUTY !!! NOT HIS !!!!

- you had Kenma on the earbud telling you about the guy's position in the club you were currently one street away from. You were posted on the rooftop of a building with a sniper rifle ready to get done with it and go save the kid but GUESS WHO COMES IN FISTS SWINGING WHEN YOU LITERALLY HAD THE TARGET IN SIGHT

- and he had the nerve to look straight toward your rifle's aim and flip you off while smirking

- sir you're about to catch these hands🚶🏽

- he had knocked him out alright and he got the young boy out but you were NOT ready to let that slide so you quickly got down and crossed path with him at the back exit of the club

- "what exactly do you think you were doing in there ?" Listen. You may have sounded confident enough saying that but you had NO idea that this dude was like a whole ass giraffe

- and he knew he was tall so he had the audacity to say

- "sorry can't hear you so well from down there midget, i was just doing my job (▰˘◡˘▰)" if it weren't for the karasuno boy being right there you would have stabbed his kneecaps on sight

- anyway after that y'all just seemed to run into each other wayyyy too often

- insults were shared just as often tho

- "well butter my buns and call me betty broker if it isn't my sweet little midget shooting people !"

- "stfu before i choke you"

- "kinky but can you reach my neck ?"

- "you've sunk low enough"

-so yeah f u n  t i m e s

- aside from that, business was going great but Kuroo had had news of a very important mission for you but he insisted on letting Boss Nekomata tell you about it himself for some reason

- he'd never done that :(

- you were kinda hurt that your best friend was hiding stuff from you tbh :(

- and Kenma did not seem to know more than you for now

- so you spent a whole week just mopping around

- sometimes you would go and poke fun and the newbie Lev Haiba but it wasn't the same

- Kuroo and Kenma kept working on missions while you were left waiting for that one assignment that Nekomata seemed to keep you for

- until today when Kuroo finally told you that the boss was requesting you in his office

- ngl you were EXCITED

- maybe you would have to zipline down the Tokyo tower (σ≧▽≦)σ maybe he was going to let you take a chainsaw with you this time (σ≧▽≦)σ

- maybe he- "oh" you deadpanned, stepping foot into the office and seeing none other than your arch nemesis, Matsukawa Issei in all his pisces clown glory

- "why tf are you there shitty eyebrows"

- "i had a good day too Y/N ! thanks for asking :D" today was the day. You were 100% ready to kill him and the knife that was attached to your thigh strap seemed like such a good option rn-

- "stop it you two. Y/N take a sit" Nekomata gestured, as you didn't hesitate to listen to your superior even fully aware of Mattsun's eyes annoyingly following your every movement

-"Okay so. Y/N i know you may be wondering why Matsukawa's here but to put it simply we've been informed that a rich family have gotten their hands on one of Aoba Johsai's rarest item : a gold engraved katana that belonged to their first boss"

- "so what do you need us for ?" You didn't mean to use "us" but you knew better than to piss off your boss, he was like a parental figure come on

- "i need you guys to infiltrate an auction held by said family and steal it back in the span of one week. It's up to you to work together or not but keep in mind that our arrangement states that we're autorised to make copies of the katana for future sells."

- you guys nodded, after all you were professionnals before everything and you were about to leave when Nekomata put something on the table

- "here are the keys to your appartment near the auction site it'll be your hideout !"

-.....now this had to be a cruel joke-

- "id rather sleep under a bridge then live with her for a whole week"

- "wow this is the first time we agree on something Mattsun" the oh so familiar nickname dripped in venom as you said it, unsure of what was supposed to happen

- "oh yes you could but i suppose that you don't have the supplies and tools that you will definitely need during that mission :)"

- you locked eyes with the brunette for a minute before reluctantly stomping to the table and grabbing hold of the keys and adress written on a paper, storming out of the door,  letting out a loose "come on shitty eyebrows we have data to collect" to your new....partner ? Ugh it was about to be a long week

-  it turns out the appartment was a lot smaller than you hoped for, with two single person beds, a computer post and different storing purposed furniture

- it was a common thing however, because the last thing an undercover spy would want is to draw attention with a flashy hideout

- the first step was to gather information on who would be at the auction which shouldnt be too hard

- "hey ill take the lead and contact my friend so that he can determine who is going to be here" you said as you sat on the chair in front of the computer

- "mm yeah you do that ill check what kind of weapons have been provided to us" Mattsun had no difficulty finding them as the drawers well full of them....this was very promising

- Kenma had just sent you the list of people that had been invited to the event, and you recognised many names as being members of the powerful Yakuza group lead by Konda Takara, of course.....the infamous viper herself

- you called out to Mattsun to show him and briefly explained what they were up too and how they usually fonctionned

- the auction was to take place the last 3 days after an opening party, leaving the rest of the week for preparations

- they usually took their time in comitting their crimes so you thought that stopping them mid plan by taking advantage of it was the best way to get the sword

- Mattsun didn't have anything to say for the moment, seemingly thoughtful about the whole situation

- "just so you know" you started, already regretting the decision of talking in your head, "i don't plan on being friends with you anytime soon but i feel like for this we should at least try not to rip each other's hair out"

- "i never planned on that second option"

- "huh ?"

- "i hope you know that we've never had a single conversation without insults of some kind before so for the sake of both of us it would be better to actually get to know each other since we're supposed to work together"

- you hated to admit it

- but he was right

- however you didn't comment on it, opting for throwing him a dry "let's sleep" before plopping yourself on your own bed on the other side of the room

- this is about to be one hell of a week

-3 days had passed in the crammed appartement both you and Mattsun struggling to inform yourself on each specific individual that was going to be present at the auction

- right now, you were both sitting on the floor, wearing simple oversized shirts and pyjama pants and shorts, cheese pizza box laying on top of the document covered surface

- "Mattsun, pass me the paper about Okuda Takeda please" :000

- Matsukawa froze, because he knew that in 2 days of living together y'all had establised that you wouldn't be at each other's throats

- but hearing you using his nickname unironically and saying please ???? That was still something he had to get used to

- "what are you staring at ? Give me the paper shitty eyebrows >:[" ah there she was

- "thats my girl" he thought, handing you the document and resuming his own reading

- here's the catch : Mattsun was head over heels in love with you since like day 1 that Hanamaki told him about this pretty girl who let him take the diamond from his mission. He tried to repress his feelings as he had noticed that you seemed way closer with your friend Kuroo who he had seen on missions with you

- maybe you liked him

- he would understand, he seemed way more confident than him and he was also probably way smarter since he was a genius and all

- also the way you were always soft to him and not Matsukawa kinda got to him

- he wanted you to hug HIM after a mission too and NOT insult him

- but he judged it for the better as he still got to be close to you in his own way with the playful fights you always seemed to pick with him

- it was easier than confronting his feelings or rejection

- this mission proved to make things so much harder for him tho

- like yeah he saw you being a badass plenty of other times but now ?

- he got to see you being all clingy and grumpy in the morning (he never knew being called a dumbass while you were falling back asleep on his shoulder was his thing but hey) , got to see your nose scrunch up when you were focusing on mapping out the position of the vent system of the venue

- he could go on for hours about how much he loved you and your plan was not making it easy.....profiting off the yakuzas' plan took way too much waiting and he understood that you wanted it to go as well as possible but he just couldn't keep living like this until then

- it felt like torture

- and he did not want to see you in that gorgeous dress that you were supposed to wear at the auction during the infiltration

- he knew that a couple more days could drive him crazy and make him do dumb shit like kissing you

- he had thought about that a lot of times but never brought himself to do it because je knew it was pointless

- he had to take action now

- the night of the opening ceremony, the day before the Yakuzas would start their scheme

- both of you were laying in your beds, awake, that was a habit you had developped over the past nights, you were just, aware of each other's presence and then sometime you would ask him something about his life, his friends, himself

- it made his heart beat too fast everytime and he could feel himself falling even more by the second when he heard you giggling talking about the time you pulled a prank on your friend Yaku with Kuroo

- he knew that you were already very sleepy from the way you were slurring your words

- "Y/N do you hate me ?" He said, abruptly and he heard a strangled laugh coming from you followed up by the question

- "what's that for dummy ?"

- "please answer" he asked in a whisper, sounding almost desperate

- you took a second to think about it

-you had grown quite close to your tall partner in such a short period of time, even letting your guard down and stopping from being so defensive

- "i don't hate you....i could never" you said the last part more to yourself tho but Matsukawa didn't miss it, he wished he did as he heard the soft sighs coming from your now sleeping form

- his heart ached as he got up, putting on his black coat over his mathing turtleneck shirt, taking his gun and spare map of the auction venue

- you were totally going to hate him now....

- and then he left for the opening party

- the rain was pouring outside

- for some reason you couldn't sleep well that night

- that only happened whenever Kuroo was out on a mission at night or Kenma was working in his office

- you hated sleeping alone, you couldn't do it

- being alone was the one thing you dreaded the most in your life, death was nothing if nobody knew where you were, if nobody aknowledged your existence you weren't alive

- but Mattsun was there and you trusted him.

- yeah you were kind of an ass to him during like 90% of your interactions with him but you just didn't know how to talk to him ??? He was so strong and good at what he did so you couldn't help but feel admiration but also intimidation

- yet you've felt probably more comfortable with him than anyone in your life (yes even Kuroo and Kenma weirdly enough)

- it was a nice feeling

- maybe it was because you saw him differently than them...

- but anyway

- you felt like yourself around him

- and yet

- why couldn't you sleep ?

- "Mattsun ?" You called out to him, voice cracked from not having used it for a while

- no answer

- maybe he didn't hear you over the rain....?

- you had a bad feeling about this

- "Mattsun ?" You called out a little louder, sitting up

- yep definitely

- you turned on the light and to your surprise, Matsukawa was nowhere in sight

- your heart sunk at the realization

- you were alone

- what about the plan ? Ah its true that he never said anything about it

- did he not trust you enough with it ? Did he think you were too assertive ?

- you wanted to cry but it seemed as if your brain wasn't working, your body rushing on its own to check the date and time on your phone : past 10pm on thursday night.....

- the opening party !

- "shit shit shit he must have gone there to take them by surprise wtf is he thinking doing this alone?" You thought aloud, maybe it would trick your body into not being scared

- at this point you were terrified, rushing to get the red dress on as well as putting your 2 guns under each of your thigh straps

- is he alone ? Surrounded by highly trained and dangerous Yakuzas ? What if....you were too late ?

- you didn't have time to think too much about it as you knew that this kind of thoughts led nowhere.

- you had to infiltrate that party the fastest you've ever done in your life and see for yourself, luckily, the venue was only a few crossroads away from your appartment

- truth was Mattsun's plan was not so bad

- after all you had insisted on making him find info on every staff member there too so it's thanks to you if he just so happened to know what type of guy that one waitress liked in order to flirt with her and convince her that he had forgotten his watch in one of the closed off aeras of the venue

- the place was absolutly gigantic, after all it was a mansion bought will illegal money

- he hated this, he just wanted to get it over with, retrieve the sword, gtfo and go back to Miyagi forever so that he wouldn't feel the pain of the illusion of being by your side when you were clearly far ahead of him

- you'd always been anyway

- he had finally reached the generator room and opened the vents with much difficulty as the room was a mess of cardboard boxes and storage shelves

- he was just going to cut the power, which would take about 15 minutes to get back, allowing him to go thru the vents to the main hall that was right thru the wall to his side, retrieve the sword and just make a run for it

- hopefully the rain would cover most of the sound he made so that was even better

- see that would have been great if he hadn't felt the icy cold metal of a gun at the nape of his neck as he was fiddling with the generator

- he had been caught.

- it was the end.

- shit he fucked the whole mission over and now even you didn't have a chance to-

- "what exactly do you think you're doing Mattsun ?" You said coldly even tho the hurt in your tone didnt go unnoticed by the taller man

- "haha Y/N whatchu doing here on this fine night ? You look stunning btw"

- "Cut the crap shitty eyebrows i asked you a question"

- you finally lowered your gun allowing your harsh glare to show how upset you truly were

- damn, Matsukawa really felt shitty :\

- he'd never seen you like that- well not soaked from the rain but....so vulnerable to him

- all your feelings talks happened in the dark of night in your hideout, he'd never seen your face look so pained before

- "I did what was best for both us..."

- "bullshit." He wasn't sure that he believed himself either to be honest

- "what the fuck are you even doing anyway ? I thought you and i were in this mission together ?? Did nothing matter to you ? I finally think that i found someone who i could trust other than my fucking family and that's what you do ? Ditch me for your own profit ?? You did what was best for your damn self Matsukawa"

- you were upset. He got it really, his insecurities had gotten the best of him like they often did....except he didn't have the strength to confront them, to confront you about it. So he got it and he didn't retaliate.

- "so what ?? You're not even going to say anything ?? Not even TRY to fucking apologize ? Do you really don't care ?" You searched for his eyes, but little did you know that he just....couldn't talk nor maintain eye contact with you right now

- "Mattsun...i thought you and i had...something ? I don't know maybe i hallucinated or some shit but i thought we were at least friends you know ? D-did you ever tolerate me at all ?"

- your voice cracked, it got lower and it cracked, and at that moment he was sure his heart broke right at this instant too

- he wanted to tell you that that was the farthest thing from the truth

- he wanted to tell you that he loved you

- but you were too far. Once again, you were miles ahead of him, more than ever

- and the sound of voices coming from the corridor did NOT HELP

- you could not afford being found here so with the professionalism left in you, you pushed your feelings away and pulled Mattsun behind a shelf, crouching and waiting

- you were so close he could feel you shivering from the cold and he felt so so bad

- but now was not really the moment

- "didn't you hear shouting ?" Shit. Maybe you should have waited until getting out of here for your heart to heart because this guard was definitely not trippin

- there were 2, luckily they didn't have the idea to split up to search the room, all you had to do was move low and close to the walls in order reach the door and well....the katana literally could not matter less to any of y'all rn

- at this moment you really regretted going out in such a hurry completly forgetting to contact Kenma, he could have hacked into the camera system and told you were they were so easily.....

- anyway, despite that you guys were stealthy enough to get out if the room

- now the problem was getting out of here.....

- you held Mattsun's wrist loosely as you ran thru the corridor of the building, thunder raging and labored breathing filling the silence

- "Y/N we could get out from the rooftop !" Right....if you could only get there then maybe you could just parcour your way out of this by getting on other rooftops....damn you were glad Matsukawa always thought of every escape plan possible

- you didn't really mean what you said earlier

- yes, you were disappointed but, you were also scared for his dumbass

- and rn may not be the best moment to realize it as you were most likely in a life of death situation but....you loved him

- fuck you loved him so much that you were running in a goddamn dress right now

- "i truly hoped it wasn't you" said a voice from the end of the lobby

- of course it just had to be the Yakuza boss you dreaded so much

- Kondo was just standing there, arms crossed but you knew better than to take her lightly

- "did you come to retrieve it ?" Its funny how her voice seemed to dominate even the full on storm outside, the occasional lightning bolt shining light from the huge windows into the corridor

- "No....let us pass please we just want to leave" Mattsun felt how tensed you were and immediatly rested his hand on his gun handle under his coat

- "yeah sure sweetheart but only if you tell your guard dog to calm down unless he wants me to cut his fingers clean off" she threatened nonchalantly as her hand met the handle of her own katana strapped to her belt

- Matsukawa was deadass glaring at her so hard you didn't recognise him

- he honestly looked like he could take her on but...you didn't feel like testing this theory tonight

- "hey hey, it's alright" you soothed him, putting your hand on his arm and squeezing slightly

- it seemed to work because he quickly let go of his gun even tho he was still glaring

- "let us go" he said firmly

- she pushed herself out of the way and motionned with her arm as if to say "go on~" in the most theatrical way

- you passed her without issues and soon found yourself on the roofs as planned in Mattsun's escape route and made it safely to the streets, rain still pouring

- you were finally letting out a breathe you didn't know you were holding all this time

- you were alive and most importantly, so was he

- you turned around and were ready to say something when he cut you off by grabbing your arms and pulling you into a kiss

- it was short but it managed to get his point across very well as well as warm you up when he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his forehead against yours

- "i love you Y/N....i swear i didn't mean to hurt you and put you in danger like that....if i knew i would have done things differently i-"

- "i love you too Mattsun and it's never been a problem to me, i've done way more dangerous things in my life than rescue my boyfriend from getting killed dummy"

- in the end, you weren't alone

- somehow he had become, your escape plan from it

[okneiljos]

​reasons the umbrella academy is my new favorite show (and why i have seven new children):

• they are all my actual children with whom i fell in love with instantly like i instantly adopted them the moment they were introduced bc when i saw klaus i was like “uwu i luv” and with allison i was “A WOMAN” with vanya i was “tALENT” and so on

• klaus

• the dance montage in ep 1 was literally one of the most iconic moments i have ever seen in my entire life

• bc luther literally had just accused his entire family of murdering their father and then he goes into his room to his moutain of records and is like “hmm what will possibly mend this? what can bring us closer as a family? what can make this better? what can make me feel better” and the choice of song has me in an early grave bc his solution was to start dancing his problems away and honestly same bc he then does it AGAIN later on

• number five’s badass killing of like 5 grown ass men

• the fact that he is a 60 year old man inside a 13 year old body and i, too, am a teenager with the intellect and soul of a senior citizen

• also the fact that the first thing he does when he gets back is makes himself a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich and that was what vanya made for him when he was away so he wouldn’t come back and be lost :’)

• klaus in the skirt “is that my skirt?” and the fact that klaus’ response to this is “its a little dated...but it airs out the bits” and fives comment on it im gone

• ALL OF KLAUS’ CRACKHEAD MOMENTS I LOVE MY CHILD

• i’m sorry but literally all of his comments sent me

• the run boy run scene was so cinematic holy crap like whoever did the soundtrack and editing did such a good job bc the scenes were cut together so well and the flashbacks and the music went perfectly with the scenes like ???? it was so amazing

• klaus trying to be a Good Big Bro and protec five from the fight between luther and diego and five just slaps his hand away

• the funeral scene where everyone is like “plz stop” and then klaus is like “hIT HIM!” had me gONE and this man showed up with a pink umbrella while everyone else had perfectly reasonable mourning umbrellas

• also klaus’ choice of clothing throughout the entire series will truly haunt me because he is a Disaster Gay™️ if i’ve ever seen one but he’s the best kind like the skirt, those low-rise leather pants with that top PLUS the cardigan like... sweetie

• bEN PLZ DONT GET ME STARTED

• ben could’ve left or gone ANYWHERE BUT HE STAYED WITH KLAUS PLZ IM BOUTA CRY YALL

• the scene where luther and diego are trying to get into the van, like once wasn’t enough but they did that shit AGAIN and looked at each other like -_- and finally luther has the audacity to say “i’m number one” im skdkskdk

• the fact that they fight all the time but the moment one of them are threatened they all bring the thunder and the claws come out and it’s totally on and i’m like wow uwu, like even though they are estranged they really do love each other

• the office scene with five and klaus im DONE WITH MY LIFE “what about my consent”

• during the fight scene in the house klaus is oblivious and is dancing around in a bath towel (with one in his hair as well) and that was so funny to me it got even funnier when ben poked his head in and tried to warn him like “klaus, our whole family is about to be slaughtered, klaus hello, klaus gunfire is raining down, okay whatever” and then he leaves, presumably to watch over them and the intruders and then klaus gets kidnapped but that had me

• the torture scene “there’s nothing like a little strangulation to get the blood flowing” plz klaus i can only handle so much wheezing before my lungs give out

• also “plz make him stop talking” like it was becoming torture for the torturers torturing him im—

• the ice cream truck scene which is made 100000% better bc klaus can’t/doesn’t know how to drive and yet diego is like “GO FASTER!!” and cute lil ben is like “wheeeeee” im so gone for this family man

• the scene with allison and luther in the booth had me in my feels + on the phone how you could hear the “SPACE BOY” that right there was really freaking cute

• diego with the “guns are for sissy’s, real men throw knives!” for some reason this just really stuck with me and like then i realized like that’s his entire brand in life... just knife boi. 

• the entire bowling alley scene was the funniest thing to me skskakskxi “ur two dads” “i’d rather chew off my own foot” “maybe they’re here for kenny’s birthday party”

• diego’s stutter coming back during times of stress really made me so sad and like upset and i wanted to hug him

• vanya’s feelings of sorrow and isolation made me feel so sorry for her and then this dude comes in and uses and takes advantage of her but she shouldn’t have done that to her sis bc they were both like what 7 when their father made allison do that ??

• klaus’ battle for sobriety throughout the entire series he is so strong <3

• klaus’ power up in the last ep akskdjdj yes sweetie you get yours

• ben is literally the biggest bean ever but he also socks klaus in the face bc he’s like “i need u to stop being stoopid for two seconds”

• “shut up... said with love” and the “drop dead.” gasp “low blow” i love their relationship so much it literally meant everything to me bc ben is klaus’ biggest fan and like i cry thinking about that ya kno

• how allison literally diSPATCHED RAPER FACE GUY IN VANYA’S APPARTMENT sis knew something wasn’t right

• hazel literally eating everything in sight identified with me on a spiritual level

• diego and klaus little talk and ride along bc it was just so pure like diego loves his family soooo much even tho sometimes (like luther) he says mean shit he will do whatever is necessary to protect/save them

• klaus sets the table for himself, five, luther, AND ben i’m kdksk crying im crying is what im doing ok im just gonna be in the corner and the others don’t even mention it like ?? kskaak do they not notice it or do they know

• vanya’s badass white suit and violin change at the end there like ICONIC much

• vanya flipping that car, her at the show like im shaken to my core here skakaoso

• five just like five man “i was going to ask what you were doing but then i realized i don’t care.” like he’s such a mood.

• klaus and five are my biggest moods,, the biggest crackhead and the biggest narcissist

• THE ENDING AKSKDIDJSK I NEED MORE GIVE ME MORE OF MY CHILDREN PLZ PLZPLZPzlzzpzlzl

(there is so much more i could say but i wrote this in like 20 minutes off the top of my head if you can think of anything else plz let me know, also i tried to put this in some semblance of order bc when i wrote it it wasn’t ordered at all so sorry if it’s a mess, also sorry about the grammatical errors i know there surely are that i didn’t catch - not including the ones i did on purpose)

[dipplie]

For anyone who doesn’t know me

I stole this and filled it out, don’t COME FOR me

The Basics: Full Name: Jasmine Elizabeth Degler Birth Date: February 15th, 2002 Birth Place: Denver, CO Gender: Female Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Blonde Currently living: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Height: Like 5′3″? Weight: NOT ENOUGH AAAAAAAA Righty or Lefty: Right hand Right Wing or Left Wing: I think a plane needs both wings pal Zodiac: Aquarius-Pisces Cusp. Aka I’m so xd quirky but I also cry a lot because I’m baby Favorites: Band/Singer: I like... Owl City... Blame my partner~ Song: Apple.com Movie: Saw 2 or Cube? Color: Yellow Animal: Bunny Smell: Vanilla Boy Name: Theodore Girl Name: Penelope Month: May Swear Word: F̵̗̯͇͙͔̟̰̯͎̃U̴̡̠͕̱̻̽͂̿͜ͅC̶̪͇̗͍̱̩̻͊K̷̲̫͕̖̼̺̜̻͌̒͊̋͑̅̆̚͜ Grade: Kindergarten. It’s all downhill from there kid drinks wine Least Favorite Grade: I think Freshmen Year 

Preferences: Anime or Disney?: Disney Guys or Girls: SCREAMS Lips or Eyes?: Eyes Kisses or Hugs?: Snugs Eating or Drinking?: CRUNCHITY MUNCHITy OVER SLORPS Summer or Winter?: Summer Outdoors or Indoors?: Outdoors Personal: Why did you choose your username?: My partners screen name is NightlyOver! What is your favorite piece of your own work?: This one is nice I guess

Look to your left, what’s the first thing you see?: Graduation cap and gown I probably won’t get to wear :’^) Now your right: My cat sleeping on my bed Something you can't live without: I like... Partner... He’s... Perfect... GPA: I think like 3.5...??? Maybe it was 3.2 I honestly have no idea. Between those. The Last... Person you hugged: My friend Jordan Movie you watched: I think it was Moana? Song You Listened To: I think it was that one Echo vocaloid song? But a chorus. Thing you ate/drank: Pretzels with peanut butter in them. My favorite drink :) Time you cried and why: Probably a couple days ago. Time you laughed and why: Probably earlier

The First... Person you kissed: Haven’t kissed anyone baby! Crush you had: My boyfriend Thing you think about when you wake up: My boyfriend Longest friend you ever had: My boyfriend Person you talk to each day: My boyfrie School you went to: Grand Junction High School Big holiday you went on: Once for Christmas my dad took me and my brother on a cruise to Mexico. It was ok. REALLY HOT. IN WINTER? Award you got: Some art stuff in Elementary and early Middle School. Have you ever... Broken the law?: Smoked weed a few times B) Been arrested?: Nope Had a hangover?: Nope I can’t drink and don’t plan on it Been in a hospital?: Ya but I was like 2 and broke my arm so I don’t remember Been in a car crash?: Notttt yeeet Flown on a plane?: Ya Been on a boat?: Ya Traveled overseas?: Kinda? Does the Gulf of Mexico count. It’s 1 sea. I traveled over A sea. Had sex?: Nope Been to a concert?: Once Ya Pretended to be sick to avoid doing something?: Ya Skipped school / work?: Sadly Ya Broken a bone: Ya when I was 2 Personal Again: Who is your closest friend on Tumblr?: I guess @drinksss​ ;^) What is your favorite post by them?: Snake... Your Religion?: Dunno and don’t care too much, I just wanna turn into a tree when I die bro... Social Class?: Upper Middle? Ethnicity: I’m W H I T E Languages you speak?: English et en petite eu (mal) francais. Scar (s) you have?: Arm burns from a straightener, Couple years ago my mom yelled at me and told me all I was good as was crying! I got really upset and did them all! Sad. Orientation?: I like... Everything... Girls pretty... Guys handsome... Totally Random~ Where is your dream holiday location?: Mm, I’ve always wanted to go to Canada. What are you wearing right now?: Gray PJ’s What is the last thing you bought?: I think Olive Garden When did you join Tumblr?: Like 10 minutes ago Why did you join?: I can’t escape so I’m back here again Are you a member of any other websites?: I have a YouTube but I don’t upload anymore, I have a Pintrest now though! -This Board: https://www.pinterest.com/dippydaily/cabbages-and-cottages/ -And my Art Board!: https://www.pinterest.com/dippydaily/dailys-art/

Are You... Shy: Ya Loud: Ya Nice: I try to be Outgoing: Ya Quiet: I try not to be Mean: I try not to be :( Emotional: VERY Sensitive: Very... Strong: UHUH NO? Caring: I am if you are Dangerous: Naw Crazy: xd Spontaneous: Ya, me’s got OCD :’^) Funny: Hey, u know who’s funny? Ready the first word... Wai Sweet: Eh Sharing: Ya Responsible: NAW Trustworthy: I don’t even trust myself so like Open-minded: Ya Creative: Ya Cute: GOD I wish Slick: Slick as the way your words make my heart beat~ (I WANT TO DIE) Smart: Yeah I guess Dumb: Yeah I guess Evil: >:3c Photogenic: Nooooooo... Greedy: I try not to be Ugly: Oh hunti right now? don’t @ me like this Messy: Naw Neat: Ya Perverted: uwu Silly: OWO A B****: A butch? No I’m a fem.  A Good Listener: When it’s important yes A Fighter: Naw I’m just gonna lie down

Yes or No Are you a vegetarian: Ya Are you a carnivore: IMPLYING I’D ONLY EAT MEAT AND NOTHING ELSE KSHFDJSHFKJDSNKJFGDSJ Are you heterosexual: No  Do you like penguins: They’re cute, my partner ADORES them and pandas tho Do you write poetry: Sometimes! Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: I do! Are you a zombie: Hey that’s extremely RUDE to people with depression ok, watch your LANGUAGE  Do you bite your nails: Sadly Can you cross your eyes: Yeah Do you make your bed in the morning: No Have you touched someone's private part: PRIVATE PATRTDGUFDSN ITS CALLED THE NONO SQUARE OUTOUOGUHOUG

Opinions What do you think about classical music: It’s ok About boy bands: Sometimes they’re nice but typically all the songs are just for moneyyyy sooooo not really sexy now huh About suicide: 0/10 Would not recommend (Okay but on a serious note, don’t do it :^( It does get better. You’re not okay, but you’re alive, and that’s the first step to getting better. Don’t end on the low note, keep going till you can end on the high note :^) ) About people who try to force their opinions on you: UghhhhHHHHNNNNN About teen pregnancy: TEENAGERS SHOULDN’T BE HAVING SEX. STOP! STOP THAT! OH MY GOD! YOU’RE CHILDREN OH MY GOD!  Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: Stress Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Stresses haRDER About gay men: Nice

[thinfatfit]

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i had a really bad experience with my social worker today..... fuck. i feel really really bad about it. idk. can any of u give me advice pls?

ok so basically:

i see a social worker in my family doctor’s office approx. once a month to talk about ocd and also just general feelings and things etc. i used to see a diff. social worker (also in my family dr’s office) but i generally didn’t vibe well with her and then two separate times during our sessions she called me by the wrong name so i decided to stop seeing her (was that an overreaction??? it’s rude for her to call me the wrong name dURING our session TWICE right? lol).

then i started seeing this new one (also in family dr’s office). i met her once early august, once end of sept, once in nov., once in dec., once last month, and then today. so i’ve met her approx. 6 times and maybe once more i’m forgetting. she’s really really chill and casual, like that’s her style, is she’s suuuuuuuuuper laidback and casual. i think she’s trying to do it to make me feel comfortable. i never really felt connected to her but i also didn’t dislike her. also it’s really hard to find someone to talk to so i was like k w/e i’m sticking with her. but there were lots of things that would bother me. (1) the first time i brought up suicidal thoughts she was like “oh that’s my bread and butter” and i felt like she was minimizing it; (2) another time when i brought up really serious suicidal thoughts she was making tons of jokes while i was telling them to her and laughing, like for example when i told her a plan i had previously thought of but disregarded she was basically like “lol ya i mean i don’t even know how u would do that! lol!”; (3) she once called me to reschedule our appt bc “a mother of 2″ needed to come at the time i was scheduled; (4) she didn’t really get it when i told her about intrusive thoughts from ocd, like i told her how i have a lot of intrusive thoughts about famous murderers like jody arias, and she was like “yeah well i mean she’s on people magazine all the time!” but like... that’s not really how intrusive thoughts work idk; (5) she always brings up other patients’ experiences, but like in a way that makes me feel really minimized; (6) she wanted me to write a gratitude journal, which i was REALLY against lol (b/c soooooooo often ppl make me feel bad & invalidate me like if i’m like ya i’m kinda sad bc my mom is sick they’re like WELL AT LEAST SHE’S STILL ALIVE) but i just told her no and didn’t tell her why, but... ya idk; (7) she’s always talking about how the psychiatrist i saw has a 31 week wait and is defending him even tho he was super rude to me (he lost this 13-page questionnaire he had me fill out in detail that i spent 6 hours on and didn’t even apologize); (8) about the suicidal thoughts again idk she also just minimizes a lot like every time i say something she’s like “well it sounds like you don’t really want to do it” and one time she was like “let me know if it ever gets really serious” like wtf why do u think i’m telling u this right now....???

like idk but she just generally makes me feel like she doesn’t really care about me, and like i’m just another random person in her day and she’s not giving me individualized attention or paying attention to me, and past this job she does not care at all what happens to me. but i mean i know this is her job and she’s not like my friend or my mom so idk. also ok i mean i didn’t like her, or the previous social worker or the psychiatrist.... so idk maybe it’s me????????

anyways today i saw her and told her that i don’t want to see her anymore and she asked why and i said i don’t like her and i don’t trust her lol, and she got kind of upset. she said how i’m hard to talk to and it’s hard not to offend me since i get offended just by her asking questions sometimes. and at the end of the appointment she stood up and very coldly said “goodbye”. lol.

what do u think????????? i’m so stressed. i think i’m gonna email her tomorrow to apologize, but i still won’t see her again, but just to not leave on a bad note idk.