#even uploading them here took 5 minutes each
sunglassesmish · 12 days
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tters · 10 months
Hello author, I do not know whether you're still writing for 'The Hobbit' but I have a request. Could you kindly craft a Thranduil x Reader fic where the reader is close to death and he's like, "Please don't leave me, my love, not you too." (my love is in elvish, I couldn't find the translation) (Also, she's his 2nd wife.) She doesn't die, hopefully.
Thank you so much for the request <3 I hope my writing isn't that bad as I've been inactive for a very long time! Enjoy!!!
Thranduil x Reader
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TW! ⚠️ mentions of blood, injury, burn, nothing too graphic.
Unedited, 3am writings, bare with me pals 💖
Angst, fluff?! maybe, gender-neutral reader
Uploaded - 5/8/2022
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You clasped a fist on your chest tying to catch your breath, every inhale becoming more painful second by second "it burns" you tried to scream but only a rushed whisper came out your mouth. You grasped as you felt a stronger pinch in your heart, your chest waving with each breath you tried to take. A moan left your lips as you felt a hand on your back suddenly "wh-" "it's me meleth nin" spoke Thranduil as calmly as he could, fighting his fear and worry back "what happened?" he asked hurriedly, the expression on his face matching your agonizing one "it burns me" you cried out, not even sparing a look to his eyes, that were so hopelessly searching for a physical injury. "Where?" He asked raising his voice "inside me, as if fire replaced my soul," you grasped again as you tried to take off your armor. He helped you move it aside before he saw for himself the damage of the dragon fire on your skin, the fire that didn't bend the elve's new-found metal but burned your skin and got trapped inside your body. Your tears fell from your eyes as thranduil took in your state, a skin red as blood, adorned by a golden dust shining like diamonds under the dawn's last sunlight on the top of erebor. It was known by most and especially thranduil the serpent's of the north wrath and ruin "you shouldn't have been here! I shouldn't have left you alone! This is all my fault, all my fault! I was a fool by overestimating my power, believing I could defeat them! Fight all of them as if I didn't know that they would eventually reach you too! As if I hadn't been myself destroyed by their flames before!--" He screamed over and over mostly to himself, as if he didn't believe it as if he didn't want to believe what was happening right before his very eyes " I I-" you tried to mutter a few words but you couldn't, your breath getting shorter by the minute, you grasped for air until your eyes rolled back in your eye sockets " no no no no no , I can't lose you y/n! No I can't! No please I can't lose you too" he screamed as he picked your weak form in his arms, your face lying on his right forearm "please help me" you spoke softly this time, as if the pain was leaving your body, as if his touch was magically taking your pain away "now now look my darling, look at the sun, look how it's hiding behind the mountains, look how beautiful the lake looks under the yellow light" he spoke to you as if both yours and his life depended on it "soon enough they'll come meleth nin, help will come"  he said as he hugged you closer the cold metal of his armor touching your bloodstained cheek as the long gray fabric of his cape covered your legs. You closed your eyes Taking in breath after breath. "They are here!" You heard Thranduil exclaiming over you "y/n they are here! The eagles are here!" You opened your eyes as you took in the picture of the big birds "you're safe now y/n, we're safe" he cheered, tears slowly sliding down his face "let's go".
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yooniesim · 11 months
not being in the sims community for a few years (computer problems, couldnt play) and then coming back only to see so many creators have their cc behind paywalls sure was a shock tbh. i dont blame ppl for having patreons for their cc in general, ive seen plenty of creators have patreons with all their cc for free; becoming a patron being just an optional way of supporting them. plus, im pretty sure patreon has unlimited space, so ig itd also be a good idea if u dont have/dont want to use sfs or other unlimited upload sites (also posting pics with the files is a plus)
some ppl tho are like, wild. ive seen ppl charging 20$ a month and only releasing like, at most 3 patron only things per month then complain abt their stuff being shared for free.... like, youre selling 3 items a month for 20$, which is the same price as the base game when it isnt on sale. plenty of ppl already dont pay for the game itself, do u think theyre gonna want to pay the same amount for 3 things??
yeah nonny I'm in the same boat, it was so shocking for me to come back to this lol. I never imagined this many people would have patreons. I think it wouldn't be a big deal if it wasn't almost everyone. But here we are lol.
I remember when patreon tiers were $1 and you got access to everything. When I first saw someone with $3+ it was the most expensive I'd seen for maxis match early access cc, and it really wasn't worth it for that creator. Now it seems like so many people are $5 minimum??? And sometimes you don't even get access to everything? The cost has increased drastically and more importantly- the quality isn't there.
I've had a few items that I downloaded when it became free and tested in game and went, "thank god I didn't pay anything for this". Lack of LODs or proper maps, high poly, holes, improper weights, etc. All of this to me is fine for purely free cc (as long as there's nothing game breaking). But to me, for paid cc, early access or exclusive, is unacceptable. And there is no way to know what you're going to get, and if there's a problem, you're out of luck. It may not be fixed, and you're certainly not getting a refund.
And then there's the issue of the tiny mesh edits. I know for a fact there are many people, if they knew how simple the edit was, they would never pay for certain items. I am not paying anyone for 5 minutes in blender. I would honestly rather pay for a recolor than a lazy ass mesh edit. That's more time and effort than making a hair two inches shorter. You don't even have to edit the texture, just make hat chops, and sometimes not even that! I have literally made certain hairs in under an hour and I'm not even that experienced! Separated the werewolves stuff in around the same time. I made the necklaces I posted recently in a couple lazy afternoons, like ten minutes per. Of course it added up since I did so many at once, but nickel and diming per tiny mesh edit? The ratio of time and effort vs payment is ridiculous. There are so many talented creators that do amazing work that takes days, weeks, etc for free. And there are talented creators that do really awesome items for early access as well, that seem worth the money. So when I see that sort of cheap tiny edit thing... it feels like these creators are taking advantage of the consumer that may not know better. It's embarrassing.
If that $20 was for 3 things that took the creator 5 minutes each to make, wouldn't you be even more upset? And then imagine that creator has hundreds or even thousands of patrons. And doesn't contribute anything to the community other than paid content. No interaction, no gameplay, no chat, never existed before popping out of the womb with a patreon. It's insulting. Is this community just a cash cow? And people wonder why we're all so tired, even if it's following EA's rules.
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imaginewriting1 · 3 months
lingua franca
Ariana Grande x youtuber!reader
Part 17 of "positions"
Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 5.5 (1) | 5.5 (2) | 5.5.5 | 6 | 7 | 7.5 | 8 | 8.5 | 9 | 9.5 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16
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You thought the novelty of you might wear off once the both of you got back to your respective working lives. However, Ariana proved you wrong by coming over after she finished her schedule, and spending the night (and the next morning if she could) with you. Until she missed her babies so badly that you two decided to alternate staying at each other's places. This week, it was your turn to stay at her house.
That's how you found yourself in a car, on the driveway up. The security guard recognized you instantly, helping you with your bags while communicating with the staff to announce your arrival to their employer. You thanked them when you dragged your luggage past the door.
Before you could place your stuff down, you were tackled by a pack of paws and wagging tails. You laughed as you were licked enthusiastically in greeting. "Hi, guys."
"Babies, let me welcome her too." You looked up to find Ariana lifting the dogs off you, helping you back up to your feet. She tiptoed, surprising you with the softest brush of lips so close to the corner of your mouth. Ariana pulled back when she noticed you were still holding onto your bags. "Oh! Let me help you with them." She reached out for one, and you gave it to her.
You followed her to the shoe rack and removed your shoes, before slipping into a pair of fluffy white slippers. Ariana was wearing them too.
Soon found yourself in a guestroom you occupied so often that it was regarded as yours. She ushered the dogs out, leaving you to your devices.
When Ariana returned, you finished unpacking coincidentally. "Is everything settled? Let me know if you need anything."
"I'm good. Got my stuff all set up." You pointed at your workstation for good measure.
"Great!" Ariana exclaimed, before asking, "Did you bring the stuff I asked you to?"
"Yeah, I brought swimwear. Though it's really just shorts and a sports bra."
"And the...?" You nodded, blushing when Ariana grinned. "Good."
However, before you two could start spending time together lazing around, Ariana had some work to do, and so do you. So you decided to get them done as soon as possible. Fortunately for you, you only had some emails to answer and upload a video for your channel. You completed them in less than twenty minutes so you decided to wander around.
Strauss found you walking past him in the living room and decided to follow you around. You managed to kill fifteen minutes touring the entire premises before something stop you in the midst. The faintest sound of music could be heard when you stood right in front of a particular closed door. Part of you wanted to open it right away, to witness the magic, but you didn't want to interrupt Ariana. So you sat down against the wall beside it and closed your eyes.
Strauss took the chance to curl up in your lap, feeling his paws kneading around to make himself comfortable. You chuckled at his adorable actions.
Your eyes sprang open when you heard a soft rush of air. A surprised scream was followed by uncontrollable laughter when Ariana spotted you. "Thought I heard something. Why are you sitting out here?"
"I didn't want to disturb you." You replied, lifting Strauss off you to stand. "Are you done with work?"
"Almost, just finishing up a song. Do you want to come inside?"
You accepted her invitation, taking her hand while carrying Strauss in another. As you entered her bedroom, you took in the various pieces of equipment littered around the space.
You didn't even realize you were standing like a statue until Strauss started squirming. So you set him down. He went to lie on the bed with Piggy, Myron, and Toulouse. Similarly, you found a corner to sit quietly in.
In another life, you might have become a music producer, or at least worked in the industry. But in this, you were content with watching Ariana maneuver around the room expertly. There was almost a switch in demeanor when she fiddled around with the equipment, music flowing wherever she touched, like a musical Midas.
Whatever she had played sounded different than her previous discography, vocal and production-wise. You knew her fans are going to love the song, and the entirety of the album when it drop.
"I'm done with the song." Ariana spun her chair around to face you. Do you want to hear it?"
Like she ever had to ask. "Of course." She gestured for you to go towards her. So you did. She stood up from her chair, making you sit down, before sitting on your lap. Your arms instantly wrapped around her waist like a seat belt.
You watched over her shoulder as her fingers glided over the keyboard, eliciting a jazzy note from the speakers. Throughout the song, your back slowly sank into the chair, letting her voice wash over you. The only sound you made was a short laughter of disbelief when she whistled an entire chorus.
"Wow." A smile remained etched on your face even when the song ended. "It's- you're amazing. Think I'm in heaven."
You were rewarded with her giggles, "I guess 'my hair' is definitely going to be on the album."
"Your fans would thank you for that." It was a reflection of Ariana - her words, her voice, her feelings, intelligence, and maturity.
Even if it wasn't confirmed or established, you knew that you were the inspiration for it. It was the highest honor a (song)writer can bestow on the people they love - their love language.
"Why are you crying?" Ariana's alarm pulled you out of your thoughts. She sat up, dabbing her sleeves around your eyes in a panic.
You let out a wet chuckle, not even realizing you were tearing up. "They're happy tears. When your album drops, I think I need to review it on my channel."
Ariana made sure your face was dry before saying. "Maybe I can appear on it?"
At that moment, you realized it had been close to a year since you last made a video with Ariana since you first met her. "I would love that."
The rest of the day was officially free from work, though you knew that Ariana may go anytime if something came up.
The two of you decided to eat something since it was way past lunchtime. You were too busy consuming her songs that your body forgot hunger momentarily. Ariana doesn't put up much of a fight when you worked your way around her kitchen, only mentioning "you know I can hire us a chef, right?"
"You don't need one when you have me." Even though she tried to hide her smile, the way her tongue poked between her teeth, told you that she loved the idea.
While you made Ariana sit at the counter, she soon joined in as a sous chef. You appreciated her help even if you didn't say it, knowing the both of you could have lunch sooner rather than later.
Soon, two steaming plates of mushroom risotto were placed on the dining table, instead of the usual kitchen counter or coffee table. Besides the fact your house didn't have one, you actually like the idea of sitting at one. It was a proper eating area that brought you two together, away from distractions like TV screens, so you could focus on each other (and whichever dogs were around).
Words and water flowed freely at the table. Continuing from earlier topics, you asked. "Do you have a date for the album's release?"
"Hmm, I'm still deciding on the final tracklist for the album, and maybe even a deluxe version. There's still a music video to shoot." Ariana answered after a spoonful of rice. "Speaking of which, what about your film, Miss Director? When is it going to be screened?"
"It's still in the editing stage. When that's done, the final cut has to be approved before distribution. Not sure when that would be though, hopefully in a month or two." You took a sip of your water. "And if it's possible, we might submit it to several film festivals.
Ariana hummed in excitement for you. "I can't wait to watch it. Let's toast to that." Your flutes kissed each other lightly in the middle of the table.
After a fulfilling lunch, the two of you lazed around on her couch, watching a movie that both of you enjoyed. However, the term watching was used loosely, since your attention was more often directed at her than the screen.
"You're missing the best part." Ariana nudged you.
You glanced at the TV for show, before returning your gaze on her. "No, I'm not."
"Since we're both clearly not interested in whatever's playing on screen, let's make use of the pool," Ariana suggested, a plan that was already in the works since the beginning.
So it doesn't come as a surprise, and you agreed easily. "Sounds good, let's go change."
Ariana accompanied you as you grab your "swimwear" from your duffle, but you mainly changed out your jeans into a pair of black drawstring shorts. Ariana stared at you unabashedly at you while doing so, simply raising an eyebrow when you made eye contact - a look that conveyed 'nothing I haven't seen before'.
To feel less self-conscious, you asked her if she was going to change too. She replied by lifting her hoodie above her head, revealing a mint bikini. Unlike you, she had no qualms with you gaping at her, relishing the effect she had on you.
"You can take a picture if you like, it'll last longer that way." Ariana teased, causing you to cough in an attempt to stop drooling.
"Let's just head into the water."
Usually, you would just dip your toe in, satisfied with wetting just your feet. This time, you jumped in bravely, making a big splash that made Ariana shriek with laughter. She dived in after you, much more gracefully, resurfacing beside you.
The streaks of water blurring your vision did little to cloud Ariana's beauty; her hair reminded you of a waterfall, basking in the golden hues of the sun. You couldn't help but get lost in the sea of her.
You felt like you were experiencing something miraculous; like sighting a mermaid. Removing your glasses, you rubbed your eyes to make sure it wasn't a mirage, that she was real.
She hid her face into your neck, and you felt a pout forming. "Stop looking at me like that."
You don't let the question 'like what?' escape the tip of your tongue. Instead, you seize the opportunity to turn the tables. "Oh, so now you're the shy one?" You felt the vibrations of her mumbles against your bare skin in reply. "I didn't catch that, love." The crown of her head almost collided with your chin when she jerked up. She doesn't say anything for a few moments, gazing at you. "Now, you're-"
Her question froze you up. The term of endearment slipped out of you unconsciously. It shouldn't mean as much as it did, but maybe it was made obvious by the fact you don't say the word often, or at all for a long time.
"Is it too soon to use that word?" You asked, preparing to beat yourself up if you ruined everything before it even started.
"No, it's...the opposite actually." Ariana let out a little sigh. You could tell that there was something weighing on her mind.
"But?" You prompted softly.
"Everything's so easy with you," Ariana said, after a beat of silence. "It's almost terrifying," Ariana admitted.
It was an interesting point she brought up, "What is it that is scaring you?" You give her time to collect her thoughts.
"It's just that... I'm anticipating for something to go wrong like it has countless times in the past. It's the PTSD part of my brain. I know it's just fear but I can't help it. It's worse when I feel like you're too good to be true." Ariana whispered. You felt her breath against your lips. "You're so ordinary, in the best way possible, extraordinary even. But I'm... needy and crazy and hard to please. I'm going to be on the road a lot in the future, so there will be times when I can't be with you physically for a substantial period of time. I don't want to fuck us up."
Before she could look away from you, you placed your hand on her arm. "Do you want to know what I think?" You continued when she nodded her head. "Maybe some people have implied it or told you until you believed it but I don't think it's true. You're not crazy nor needy nor hard to please; if the times we spent together are any indication or proof of that. It's normal to have needs and to know what you want. I know your career is your priority, and you'll be surprised how flexible mine is, which allows me to go with you for tours and events if I'm allowed to. In fact, you'll be "crazy"-" you made a show of quotation marks, relishing in the way she giggled, "-to think I won't be sitting in the front row or whatever seats I managed to get from competing with thousands of other fans."
"What if you get tired of my lifestyle, of me?" She asked so quietly, you wouldn't have heard it if she wasn't mere inches away from you.
"There are many things that tire me, like climbing up the stairs and men in general, but you will never be one of them."
You had seen this look before, on many different faces, in many different film scenes, and they all led to one thing. Cradling her face, you pressed a kiss on her lips tenderly, hoping it would convey how much you adored and admired her.
When air became scarce, you pulled back to breathe.
Ariana's fingers stopped you from moving too far away, digging into the back of your neck. You tangled your fingers in wet strands, all the while reconnecting her lips to yours, delving deeper than before.
You felt aflame, despite being in cool waters. You have kissed before, but none that had burned you alive.
You felt the vibrations of the words she said against your lips before you registered them. "Take me inside." You had half a mind to ask where, but you didn't think she would care (as long as there was a surface).
AN: if you like my work, feel free to give me a tip on my ko-fi page.
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hopingforromanoff · 2 years
Y/N, The Mission. Focus. {N. Romanoff} SMUT
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x reader
Warnings: THIS IS SMUT SO 18 +
Requests are open, so feel free to send in requests and I will do my best to get them posted ASAP. I’m gonna keep them open for now but please be patient with the length of time it takes to finish them.
Y/n: I’m posting this while flying, I brought wifi so I could get this out to y’all, so this is completely unedited😬
I hope you enjoy!
My Masterlist
“So tell me again why I have to work with… her?” you shot a glare Natasha’s way as she slammed the door to the armory and headed towards the Quinjet.
“You two are the best spies I’ve got, it was an easy choice” Steve shrugged his shoulders and continued to press a few buttons, uploading the mission plan and destination coordinates to the Quinjet’s server.
“That's the thing, it's not even a hard mission! It’s just intel, from an abandoned facility at that. It doesn’t need TWO highly trained spies”
“Just because the facility is abandoned, that does not mean there aren't still active security systems in place. This is an important mission, Y/N, Can't you just act like an adult and suck it up for a few hours?” Steve let out an exasperated sigh, and went to leave.
“It’s not me! It’s her, and she does it on purpose” you slammed your throwing knife down on the table to get Steve's attention and distract him from leaving.
“No, it’s the both of you, you do everything to get under each other’s skin. The two of you are friends when we are here, why can’t you be nice on missions too?”
“Because it’s all some big power trip to Nat-” Steve cut you off before you could finish.
“Enough of that, I don’t have time for this, and neither do you, that plane leaves in 5 minutes, the two of you better be on it” Steve snapped and slammed the door to the armory.
“y/n” Nat greeted as she approached the cockpit of the Quinjet. You felt the ground under you shift as you took off. Natasha’s skilled fingers moved across the controls, skilled fingers that would be good at… other things too. The leather of her uniform stretched tightly across her ass-Y/N, the mission. Focus.
“Romanoff” You mumbled back after just a little too long. Natasha smirked, she knew exactly what had been distracting you. You busy your hands prepping your weapons, you couldn’t look at her anymore.
Soft, warm hands settled on your waist, her fingers found the space where your pants met your shirt and began to absentmindedly draw shapes.
“What’s wrong, y/n? You seem a little...distracted, something on your mind?” Natasha’s warm breath tickled your neck and her lips brushed against your ear with each word. Her fingernail dug lightly into your hip bone, a whimper fell from your lips.
This...was what she did everytime the two of you went on a mission together. She knew how you ticked and took great pleasure in teasing you. This is why you couldn't work with Natasha, but you couldn’t exactly tell Steve the reason was because she practically had you soaked through your uniform pants after only just leaving the compound.
Once you escaped her web, you hid looking at old maps of the facility and drone footage, you needed to keep away from Natasha as much as possible if you wanted this mission to be successful.
The Quinjet settled on the ground with a soft thud and the door dropped open, a cloud of dirt floated in the air. Nat appeared behind you.
“You ready?” she spoke softly in your ear. Her hands found your hips and she pulled you back against her, her thigh applying pressure in between your legs.
Your eyes fluttered shut enjoying the feeling of her hands and thigh, wanting nothing more than for her to-Y/N, the mission. Focus.
“Nat, seriously” You groaned and shook her off, leaving her behind in the Quinjet. Nat giggled lightly and followed after you.
“Those new uniform pants, y/n? They make your ass look amazing” Nat stepped back to get a better view as you accessed the security door with the keycard Steve had given you.
“Can you just focus on the mission for five fucking minutes, Natasha? Steve is counting on this information, and I'm not letting you comprise that” You turned around and barked at her, getting more and more frustrated .
“And since when are you in charge?” Natasha raised her eyebrow at you.
“Since no one else stepped the fuck up, and actually wanted to get things done”
“ You’re being kinda feisty today, it's hot” Natasha lightly slapped you butt as she passed you and entered the facility.
Nat managed to keep quiet and behave….until you got close to the mainframe room.
Natasha firmly pulled your body against hers, and used her weight to push you up against the wall behind you. She stared into your eyes, lightly slid her tongue across your bottom one. You drew a shaky breath as a wave of warmth ran through you. Natasha smiled. She kissed you softly at first but it grew more passionate. Her hand slid up your body, stopping once she reached your boobs. She lightly bit your lip as she pinched your nipple just enough for you to feel through your uniform. A shallow moan escaped from you in response. Nat pulled back a little and smiled. Your hand reached for her face and pressed your lips back against with urgency. Your other hand fell to her hip bringing her closer.
“Y/n, baby, the mission, remember? You gotta focus” she smirked, her hands leaving your hips. The number keypad beeps behind you as Natasha typed in the passcode and the door slid open. Natasha chucked as she walked into the control room, leaving you frozen in place.
She’s such an asshole.
You took a moment to compose yourself and you followed after her. You hung by the door watching Nat as she worked. The flash drive was already in and she had nearly hacked into the system, she was good at what she does. You just looked at her for a minute, her bright red hair pulled up in a tight ponytail, her uniform framing her figure, she had clearly pulled the zipper down at the top to put her breasts on display just a little more than usual for your pleasure.
“Whatcha looking at, pretty girl? You kinda look a little distracted, kinda like you're not focusing on this mission you were so worried about” Natasha pushed a few more buttons and a download bar filled the screen. You pushed off the wall and joined her standing next to the desk that contained all of the control panels.
Natasha’s hands reached for your hips and they met the front of the control board.
“You’ve been so damn uptight today, you just needs a good fucking, baby, maybe then you’ll relax a little” Natasha left gentle, soft kisses down your neck. Her words and touches caused a wave of heat ran through you, your hips shifted under her to try and relieve the pressure, your underwear now completely soaked.
Those soft kisses began to trail down, the top of your uniform hindering Natasha’s attack, but only for a moment. Natasha began to painstakingly slowly pull the zipper down, you shoved her hands away after a minute, ripping your whole uniform off before Natasha could even get a word in. It was tight and sticking to your hot, sweaty skin, you just needed it off. Natasha seemed to like that idea and helped you with your bra and it joined your uniform on the floor.
“I bet that wasn’t comfortable, baby, you seemed to be getting a little worked up, can I help you feel a little better?” Your mind was clouded and all you could think about was Natasha’s warm hands on your boobs and the way her lips brushed against your nipple when she spoke. Eventually, you managed to give her a little nod.
“Pretty girl, I need you to hear you say it” Natasha prompted again, her eyes finding yours.
“I wanna cum, I’m very uncomfortable” you whimpered and your eyes closed, just a little embarrassed that you had to say it out loud.
“I know you are, kitten, I’ll fix it” Natasha gave you a sweet smile. She was all talk, and when it actually came to sex, she was always the sweetest.
You felt all the breath leave your body, your body going all tingly as the tips of her fingers made contact with your throbbing clit.
“That’s it, baby, I got you” Natasha's voice only made everything even more tingly.
She continued the gentle touches on your clit for a little longer, and you just couldn’t take, you needed it more. Your leg wraps around hers and you pull her closer.
“Baby, you gotta relax and give me a minute, I don’t wanna hurt you” you whined against her lips as she pulled her fingers away and tried to sooth you with a kiss. She gave you one more kiss and then dropped to her knees.
Your thighs felt as if they were on fire, gentle kisses trailed up your legs, almost to where you needed her but not close enough. She kissed closer and closer but never quite where you wanted her. Relief finally came when she began to lick your clit, her finger entered you at the same time.
“You’re so wet for me, baby” another finger entered you.
Natasha knew you too well, her fingers curling to hit that place that made you melt. Whimpers and moans fell freely from your lips now, not even giving you a chance to catch your breath. Your thighs shaking in her arms. The pleasure from both her tongue and her fingers drew you closer and closer to the edge until you couldn’t hold it anymore.
“Baby, can I?” You could barely get it out between moans and struggling breath.
“Yes, you can, baby, come for me” she gave you that sweet smile again, her head resting against the inside of your thigh.
Your head fell back on the control board as you came. Natasha fingers still moving to let you ride out your high for a moment. Her free hand drawing indistinguishable shapes on your still shaking thigh.
“Can I take my fingers out, baby?” You just nodded in response to Nat, your throat was sore from moaning and you hadn’t found your voice again.
“I love you, Nat” you whispered when you finally found your voice.
“ I love you too baby, so much” you got that sweet smile from her again.
The computer beeped and a popup flashed on the screen reading ‘download complete’.
“See baby, you had nothing to worry about, mission complete” She smiled and waved the flash drive in front of your face. She gave you a quick kiss before letting go of you and heading off towards the Quinjet.
You rolled your eyes at her, and smiled. Maybe you shouldn’t tell Steve that you and Natasha had been dating for 6 months now, he might not send you on missions together anymore.
You shouldn’t work with Natasha, but god… you loved when you did...
Tag List: @too-gay-for-marvel​ @athenapotter
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babytaes · 2 years
The Kickback
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summary: What happens when your long-life crush's secret is discovered? In hopes of not wanting him to find out, what do you do... nothing.
pairing: dk x female reader
genre: fluff, slice of life, crack lol.
warnings: profanity
word count: 3k
a/n: today is my birthday and I wanted to share this one that has been in my drafts for so long. this campus life is stressful but I’m finding time to upload here and there. I hope you enjoy and have a great day/night. Much love from Babytaes! :) Also I really didn’t read this over sooo... if it doesn’t make sense. Take it up with corporation. 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
“Dear diary, I saw my crush today. I saw him in the living room after my brother invited him over with another friend. It's not as if I'm scared of him. I've spoken with him numerous times. I mean, I'm almost fluent in his language, lol. Seeing him and hearing his boisterous laugh was still entertaining. I'm wondering if he'll be at the kickback this weekend; if so, maybe I'll have the bravery to approach him. Okay, goodbye journal, love y/n.”
Your life consisted of short, insignificant interactions with him; however, when you had a crush, life was exciting and unpredictable. Since you're so near to him on a daily basis, your crush increased exponentially as you couldn't control your intrusive thoughts.
Yes, you did think of him, probably 25/8. It's not like you didn't know him, but you only knew the head version of him. And we all know they could be two different people. So the only thing left to do is keep it secret.
It's impossible for your secret to come out when you're the only one who knows about it. Right? Unfortunately, this isn't a movie, and your secret was revealed, and the perpetrator was none other than your arch-nemesis, Boo Seungkwan.
Okay, not quite that far, but you and him frequently collided because you and him could never agree on anything. He's just Boo, and he has his own behavior category.
He was the second-to-last person you wanted to find out about, after your crush, of course. From this point on, your life was not going as planned.
Your secret would never be revealed to Lee Seokmin, and you would do anything to protect it.
“What are you doing?” You leapt to your feet as you hurriedly closed your diary, terrified of prying eyes.
You rolled your eyes and stuffed your journal into a drawer with random papers, saying, "Shit, why don't you ever knock."
“Well, this is my shared dorm, and you're basically free living here,” he chuckled. You gave him a sidelong glance.
He was right.
“Is that a way you treat your twin? Is it now.”
He strolled away, completely oblivious to your yelling, and into the kitchen.
“Shut up, and get your ass out here we have to go shopping for the kickback. If you’re not out in 10 I’m leaving your ass.”
Great sibling love, what more could you ask for.  As much as you know that this is the way he expresses his love, you still got up and started getting ready for the day despite his warning.
Amidst your constant disagreements with him, you still loved him. The only problem was that you had to keep your love interest hidden from him. You could see it now and the big brother trying to protect and all that annoying shit.
You were old enough to take care of yourself and you didn’t want unruly men to ruin something that you wanted for so long.
“Coming, if you leave me, I'll tell Mom.” And I think we can all agree that I am the favorite twin.” As he slammed the fridge door shut, you could hear his huge scoffs.
You hurriedly grabbed your purse and beanie as you dashed for the door, laughing at his tantrums. He had a habit of leaving you behind.
We will not speak of March 5, 2017.
“Hey, wait up,” you said as you ran to his car and jumped in before him, grabbing the aux before him.
He started the car and sped out of the dorm parking lot on his way to the store, saying, "You're such a pain in the ass."
“Oh, don't act as if you don't love me.”
“Whoever said I did must have lied to you. Mingyu laughed as he accelerated through Seoul's crowded streets.
The jokes, the laughter, and the love were all part of the experience of living with one of the biggest Kpop groups.
You wouldn’t have it any other way!
While listening to your playlist, the song "Come to You" perfectly complemented the mood.
You smiled as you passed many streets and watched the busy lives of many different people. You could say you had an imaginative mind.
We arrived at the store a long way down the road, grabbed one of the carts, and proceeded to a separate aisle of the store.
Buying stuff was always expensive with a party of 13 and more friends on the way. Almost everything had to be doubled, and the meat had to be tripled. When throwing a party, everyone is required to provide a dish.
You didn't seem to mind; after all, you weren't paying, so you just chilled on the cart while you watched Mingyu placed the goods in neatly.
You told Mingyu to grab a specific chip as you walked to the chip aisle, and he furrowed his brow.
“What are those? I've never seen them before.
"Dokyeom likes them," you blurted out without a second thought. As you mentally processed what you had said, you stared at him with wide eyes.
“When they're not there, Dokyeom and Soonyoung get upset.” You shook your head and scooted by him, tossing two bags into the overflowing shopping cart.
“Oh-okay I guess you can get them.”
As you pushed the cart toward the cashier, you mentally slapped yourself in the face. You were certain that you would not crack.
The ride home was silent as the only noise was the continuous taps from Mingyu's fingers on the wheel.
Mingyu called wonwoo on his phone as he drove up to the dorm and asked him to help with the groceries.
As you heard Mingyu pout over the phone, he refused, and not even minutes after, wonwoo is strolling down the driveway on his way to the car.
“You shouldn't even have picked up I know I wouldn't"  Wonwoo pushed your shoulder and chuckled at your humor. “I know”
“Heyyy I'm right here,” Mingyu began to sulk as he observed his sister speaking without him.
You and wonwoo both chuckled as you gathered your belongings and began walking away from Mingyu.
The days went by slowly as you reached the door. It was time to leave the house. You grabbed a jacket and purse. Today, the boys went to Hybe for a quick practice session before heading out for the weekend.
Because you are such a good friend and thoughtful person, you decided to buy them a few drinks as a gift. It wasn't anything special, you didn't want to see anyone, noo.
It took some time to order everything, especially with the large number of 13 items. Since you've known each other for most of your lives, the drinks on the list haven't changed. Ice Americanos and Frappes were the most popular drinks.
As soon as you arrived at the Hybe building, you swiftly grabbed the bag containing the drinks and proceeded to their floor. You finally made it to their practice room after thanking the employees for their assistance.
Slowly pushing the door open, you drew the attention of almost everyone as they turned to face you. As a number of them raced over to you and took the beverages from you, smiles crept across their faces.
As they sipped their drinks, the room was filled with thank yous and hellos.
The voice of an angel said, "Thanks again, y/n." He gave you a short smile before returning to his practice. Oblivious to people around you, words spilled out.
“Fuck, he's so attractive.”
“Whose good looking?” As you slowly turned around, you heard a voice speaking to you from behind you.
It's Boo Seungkwan. He smiled at you as he grabbed a drink from your hand. He cocked his head as he sipped it, and his eyes widened.
“Don’t tell me you said dokyeom is good looking, no fucking way.”
As you coughed to relieve the high tension in the air, you started to mentally sweat.
“That's insane, I said the room was in good condition," you said as you slapped his shoulder and shook your head.
Come on, y/n, that didn't even make sense.
“You know you're not going to fool me, y/n?” Afraid that someone would find out, you dragged him into a back room and locked the door behind him
“Shit..shit..shit. If you tell anyone, I swear I'll -
Laughing, before raising his eyebrows after taking a sip of his americano, he cut you off.
"You're right, this is important information. But you already know that I'll keep my mouth shut about the situation. I don’t even know what we’re talking about right now.”
Seungkwan heard dokyeom announce that practice had resumed as the door opened. Before he left, he smiled at you and waved goodbye.
“Y/n and dokyeom in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. As you were about to leap across the couch to silence him, he jumped up and ran out of the door laughing.
All of a sudden, your mind was filled with confusion and paranoia.
It became increasingly difficult to watch them practice as the session progressed. Your thoughts were not positive, and your attitude was slowly deteriorating.
Imagining the worst-case scenario. You paced in the back room when you heard a knock at the door. As you mentally prepared yourself, it caught you off guard. While walking side by side, Hansol and Seungkwan were whispering.
“Did they know?” You didn’t want anyone to find out so you ran, and didn’t stop running. To avoid society, you hurried out the door after saying a quick goodbye to the boys.
The goodbyes were not even heard as you hurried out of the Hybe parking lot without looking back. In a small group, information spreads quickly. And he was bound to find out.
Flushed and worried, you staggered into the dorm room. You knew your secret was going to get out eventually. In the case where Hansol and Seungkwan knew, Joshua is likely to know.
And since Joshua is close to the older boys, Seungcheol and Jeonghan know. The news would then spread to Hoshi, and then the entire performance team would be in the know.
The only remaining candidates are Mingyu and dk. If Mingyu finds out, it's game over for you at that point.
There was no point of living any more. Having completed a full loop of the house, you had come to your room for the final time. You slowly melted to the ground and fell out.
Dokyeon is more likely to know if Mingyu knows.
"What went wrong?" Unable to control yourself as you rolled around the floor, you erupted into a tantrum.
You sat up and shook your head, "I'll just have to leave the country," you said. "Man, you're so smart. Your plan y/n is fantastic."
You ran to your room, grabbed your suitcase from your closet, and began tossing things into.
No need to pack everything since you were only going to be gone for a year. As soon as your adrenaline slowed down, you began packing.
(A few hours later)
You were relieved when your clothes fit into your luggage when you had finally done packing. You were on your way now, and as long as it wasn't here, everything was good.
“Ah, I figured it out; now let's book it.”
When you approached the door, you unlocked it, and we were greeted with a pleasant surprise.
You walked up to the door and opened it, where you were greeted by Mingyu and his gang. Outside the door, you could see him, hao, dk, and wonwoo. They stared at you as they looked you up and down, perplexed as to why you appeared to be departing.
“Um, what is going on and where are you going?” Mingyu reacted with a rejoinder of his own.
Your throat felt as though it was clogging up, and you began sweating furiously under your armpits. Thank god for hoodies.
“Well, I was simply going to visit a friend's house,” you explained.
You knew he wouldn't believe you; he knew most of your friends, and they didn't live that far away for you to be carrying that much.
“First, that's a lie, and second, I need to speak with you, so your "buddy" will have to wait.” You sighed and closed your eyes.
Your escape had to wait.
Mingyu took your suitcase and slid it near the door, while the other members shuffled awkwardly into the room. While the other lads sat in the living room, Wonwoo went to his room.
“Maybe I could escape now?”
“What did you say y/n?” minghao said as he glanced at you.
You waved your hand in front of them and did a walk of shame to your room as you physically and mentally prepared yourself for whatever Mingyu had to say.
So much for your crush now.
Mingyu sat on the edge of your bed, arms crossed, staring at you.
“Sit down, he patted the bed on your side before lightly coughing.
"Some rumors have been going around, so I wanted to clear the air."
Seeing what he was about to say made your heart race, and you couldn't take it any longer. Does anyone else hear their loud banging, could Mingyu hear it?
You leapt to your feet and shouted at him before apologizing on your knees.
What a sight to see, a grown ass woman on her knees apologizing to her twin brother.
“I apologize; I should have told you first, but I was afraid you'd tell him. That's why I kept it a secret and plus dating a member of seventeen. That's dangerous enough-“.
Mingyu's "WHAT" cut you off.
You came to a halt as he got up, slowly staring up at him.
“Wait, weren't we discussing my crush on Dokyeom or something else?” Worries began to creep in as sweat began to accumulate on your brow.
“What the fuck, you have a crush on do-?” you exclaimed as you jumped to your feet and tackled Mingyu to the ground.
“Don't say it so loudly; he'll hear you.” As Mingyu began to pace around the room, as he pushed you off of him.
You could see his anger as he panicked, and his small rage tantrum was truly uncomfortable because he couldn't communicate his ideas to you because he was afraid of his companions' sensitive ears.
He pointed to the door and said, "Wait, so you do have a crush on him." You sighed, shaking your head.
As he walked away from you, he had another outburst.
Everything is now turning to shit, this was your only chance.
“I have to escape” you said as you dashed out the door and to your suitcase. Mingyu was standing behind you, staring at you in terror.
It wasn't in the plan for you to fall on him, but it was still nice. Focus y/n.
“I’m sorry, dokyeom; it was my fault. I didn't realize you were there. “Are you okay?” As you extended your hand to him, you pushed yourself off of him.
“Yeah, I'm OK, are you okay?” he asked. You've had quite a tumble.”
“Yeah I’m good, I live with a clumsily brother so I’m fine”
You swiftly let go of each other and placed your hands behind your back as you became embarrassed.
“Hey, Seungcheol texted the group chat and said he wants to go out to eat. He said whoever can come.”
The boys instantly got ready as they wanted to eat, food is a great scapegoat. As you saw them exit the dorm, you took a step back and found your way back to your room.
“Is leaving still an option?” you murmured into your pillows, plopping your exhausted body on your bed and overthinking life.
You rolled over and looked at the clock, which reads 9:30 a.m.
You turned over in your bed, unable to yell, and trudged to the bathroom to make yourself presentable.
“What have you gotten yourself into, y/n?” You stripped off your clothing and stepped into the hot water after turning on the shower.
You didn't spend much time in the shower, but today you were engrossed in how your plan had devolved into this ordeal.
Resting your head on the tile as the hot water traced down your back, you contemplated on what the HELL you were going to do.
“Y/n hurry up, we have to prepare.”
Hearing Mingyu's voice drew you back to reality as you turned off the water and got out of the shower, unlocking the door and letting him in.
“Hey, no snarky remark?” he said as he watched you walk to your room with your head down. You ignored him as you closed the door and prepared for the party.
It didn't take long for your calm disposition to be noticed, since you were the outspoken one. Even if you tried to fake it, it didn't work out.
You grinned as you walked through the background of Seungcheol and Jeonghan shared housing, looking at the celebration.
There were groups of people near the pool, at the grill, and even by the chairs, as you could see.
“Hey, bring the food inside; I'll take the meat to cheol,” mingyu said, shaking your head as you picked up the bags and headed to the kitchen, where you recognized some familiar faces.
“Y/nnnnnnnnn, heyyyyy, I’ve missed you.” When you saw her, you put the bags on the counter and hugged her, smiling into her embrace.
“It's great to see you again, yeji; how are you and the rest of the group doing?” Are the others here?” As she led you back outside, she interlaced your hands in hers.
You saw dokyeom and a few other people descend the steps before you left, as he waved and gave you a quick glance.
As you reach for a drink from the cooler, your heart begins to race. Something had to be turned off if you wanted to make it through the night, and this was the only way.
You took a sip and coughed loudly as you followed Yeji to the poolside.
It was going to be a long night for you.
As you and a group of individuals began to dance uncontrollably, the effects of the alcohol in your system began to show as you staggered to the grill.
“HeEeeyyYY, Wheeeere d'ya think yeeeeer goin’?” you slurred, jabbing a finger into seungcheol’s back
The other members laughed as they glanced at you, plainly detecting your intoxication.
“I forgot how drunk you can get, so why don't you take a break,” your overprotective brother says, making you scream within.
He always did this.
Gerroff me!” you said. “I’m ash sober ash ’m gonna git. And nuffink I - wait wait wait - nuffink you can do ‘boutit.” As you ambled back to the kitchen without so much as a hiccup in their direction, they laugh.
As you struggled to reach the door, you fell forward and were grabbed by a hand. As he lifted you from your imminent doom, his hold felt warm. With your eyes enlarged, you focused on the individual and stared at his face.
As you grabbed on to him, your words tumbled out of your mouth, “Ohmygoshimsosorry.” He drew you closer to him by taking your hands in his.
Saying your heart was racing was an understatement, it was literally pounding out of your chest. You were hand in hand with your crush, who you believed was exceptionally attractive and talented, and you wished he knew more about your sentiments or could somehow fill them.
But you know no huge idol like him would go for you. Feeling that made you sober up real fast as you felt your arm being pulled upstairs, you had no idea where you were going but it looked like someone's room.
Dokyeom eased open the door as he sat you on the bed and went to get some water from a little fridge. He handed it to you and sat next to you.
“No problem, also I've been trying to talk to you all night but you appear to be occupied.”
As you took a sip of water, your heart began to beat faster; “waitttt, we donthavetotalk. Let’s dance! As he chuckled at your erratic movements, you began to wander around the room, pulling your hands into yours.
The alcohol was definitely making its way out of your system.
As he spun you around, his body in tune with the music, the bass of the song could still be heard. Even though this felt like a dream you didn’t quite care at the moment. Was it because you'd finally met the boy from your dreams, or was it because he wanted to meet you in person?
Your connection with him got stronger by the second, as did your heartbeat, which began to rise steadily with it. You couldn't keep stalling any longer; you needed to listen to what he was saying.
“I think I'm sober up for now,” you said as you let go of his hand.
Dokyeom chuckled before tossing his head back, “I didn't realize you could move like that” he said as they sat back on the bed, a little closer than before.
“I guess I learnt a few things along the way when you're friends with the best dancers out here.” As you finished your sentence, he peered into your eyes, making no sound as the room fell silent.
“Soo, what did you want to talk about?” you awkwardly state to relieve some tension in the air.
“I don't know how to explain it, but I kind of heard your "secret" as it passed through the practice room, and I simply wanted to be the first one to tell you about it because-
Your heart stopped pounding as your world came crashing down around you. You didn't want to hear it; the rejection; you'd rather live in your fantasy world, where you don't have to worry about anything. It wasn't true if you didn't hear it.
“Wait, if you can't reconcile those feelings, don't say anything; just let me go.” They're probably curious about our whereabouts anyway.” And with that, you stood up and walked towards the door, but you were pulled back by his hand.
He kissed you as swiftly as his hands linked with yours. You were taken aback at first by his passion, but you regained your calm and reminded yourself of what was going on: he was really kissing you, and you were really kissing him, and the rest of the world was inconsequential.
You were chilling on the outside while shouting for joy at the top of your lungs on the inside, as if your inner child had been set free. You had to be sure if this was a dream or if it was happening in real life.
“Why did you do that?” Dokyeom asked as he gripped your arm in his.
“I had to double-check that I wasn't dreaming; this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me.”
“So you're saying I've been in your dreams?” he laughed as he cocked his head to the side and placed his hand in yours.”
You smacked your forehead and shook your head, realizing you couldn't get out of this one, and now he knew you fantasize about him. You didn't mind because the lad of your dreams was right in front of your eyes.
AND HE WAS HOLDING YOUR MF HAND. It was clear that your diary needed to be updated.
Stopping at the door, you placed your palm on his chest and worriedly stared at him.
“Wait, how did you find out?” 
“Well, a tiny birdie was chattering loudly about it, his name rhymes with coo,” he said as he grabbed your hand in his and opened the door and began the walk downstairs.
“Fucking Boo Seungkwan”
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hardleyquinnn · 4 months
Febuwhump Day 1: Touch Starved
CW: Female Whumpee, android whump
She hadn’t felt anything in 2 years.
When she had first been taken, she had expected to be shut off, her memory core removed and searched. She’d managed to wipe the information about her team, and any important information about their mission, before they’d been able to take it. But they hadn’t taken it.
They took her to a room. She could tell it was pitch black when her eyes shifted to night vision. She did a quick scan of the room, completely bare, but a ring on the wall opposite the door. Her captors dragged her to it and attached the cuffs, before leaving her.
She immediately began searching her memory for anything that could lead to her...Something important. She knew there was something she wanted to protect, she knew she’d have wiped it as soon as she’d been captured.  Since she didn’t know what would lead to them, she focused instead on the feeling of loss, where that stemmed from, and worked on getting rid of all of it.
When she was done, she felt Empty. She must have wiped everything. All she could access was her base program. Obey. Protect. Cause no harm.
Before she could diagnose what that feeling was, her ears caught footsteps coming towards her.
The door opened, and the pain began. The pain began and it didn’t end.
They used blunt objects to beat her. After enough hits, her body would dent inwards and the pain would radiate through her, becoming a dull ache.  They uploaded things into her brain that sent random shocks through her whole system.
It happened after she’d been there for 5 months 4 days 7 hours 12 minutes 13 seconds, 14 seconds 15 seconds. They came in, 2 minutes before usual, each with a grin on their faces. She stared as they came nearer.
“We have something for you” The first one said, as the other shoved her head forward to get to her neck. “We picked it up after finding one of your friends, just sitting there in your little hideout. 
Of course we know you’ve already wiped your memory, so there's no point in telling you any more than that. You wouldn't recognize anyone even if we told you. That’s fine, we didn’t grab you for information on your group.”
A pulse went through her. Her Group?
"No, we've actually got one of your pals here, happily spilling it all. Well not happily, but willing as long as the pain stops." He continued talking, but that was when her pain started.
It was all encompassing. It was constant. She could feel every part of her body exploding over and over and over again. She couldn't do anything. She was broken. All she could do was feel pain. 
She knew if this went on too long she would lose herself completely, so she turned off her her pain receptors. The sudden stop left her gasping. She trembled with the memory. She couldn't do that again. 
For no reason
She started searching for and turning off everything. She didn't want to feel anything anymore. She didn't want to think anymore.
The next time her captors came in, she couldn't even hear the door open. They approached her, inspected her unmoving body. They spoke a couple words to each other, and then left. She did not care what happened to this body. She didn't even care what happened to her memory.  If everything that mattered was wiped, than nothing mattered.
And so she sat there. And she sat there. And time passed, and no one came.
She was a living corpse in the basement of people who only wanted to torment her. She wondered if they knew how even here, locked away from the world, she tormented herself. She could not feel anything physical. but she felt cold. She felt alone. She knows she has been safe before. She thinks she knows. What if they could alter memories? What if they had accessed her memories of her group, and then wiped it from her. What if she's gone through all of this and hasn't protected anyone
And there she stayed, rusting, silently screaming for anything, but too afraid to turn anything back on.
And it was like that, that they found her again. The door opened, light streamed in, and someone rushed for her. Their mouth moved, and she watched it. It kept making the same movements. She decided to think about what it was saying for a moment.
Div, Div you're safe now, we're here, we've got you, Div, Div can you hear me?
She wasn't sure how to respond. She couldn't respond, she hadn't moved in years. Her body was stiff with disuse and rust. She stared unmoving at them for a moment, reading the words from their lips over and over. She slowly blinked her eyes, and when they opened again the person was beaming at them. They turned 
and must have shouted something, a few other people rushed in, all of their mouths moving. The first person half turned their head and forcefully said Give her some space.
One person stayed near, and started speaking to her.  Their mouth moved differently. Accented. Hey Div, I'm just gonna look you over, try and figure out how best to get you out of here alright?
Her eyes half blinked.  She didn't care what happened to her anymore.  Living in this nothing for- she didn't want to think about the time. The second person grabbed her head, and moved her to look down. She couldn't even feel the fear of pain again.  Anything to bring her out of this empty hell. And maybe these people would help her.
That was her last thought before she was powered off.
The first thing she noticed was warmth. She felt- she felt warmth. Her eyes opened to see a room. Dark except for the fire she was laid beside. She was on a cot. There was a couch, a piano, and some covered things leaning against the walls.
She sat up, and a blanket slipped down her. A soft blanket. She squeezed it between her fingers.  It was soft, fuzzy, warm from the heat of the fire.
She swung her legs over the edge. Her bare feet hit the floor, and she stood. She walked around the room, the tiles getting cooler the farther from the fire she got. She stood at the only door in the room and listened.  She took the knob and twisted it, slowly pulling the door inward and peeking around it.
The second person stood up and walked over towards her.
"Div! You're awake! Well I figured you would be soon, but you took a bit longer than I thought you would! How are you feeling?"
Feeling again. Div stared at the person. Simply speaking, she felt. She didn't feel any pain, or discomfort. There was the feeling of the ground beneath her feet, the warring temperatures between the warm room, and the cool room.  She felt stared at, expected to respond in a way that wasn't her anymore.
"Listen," the person continued without Div's response, "I'm not sure what happened in there. When I ran some diagnostics I saw some terrifying shit, and I'm so sorry any of that happened. 
"What happened to the group?"
"We all got out. Then we lost Ryan.  We thought he'd be there with you but the place was empty. Save you of course."
"They said they had someone. Someone happily spilling it all to make the pain stop."
"They said they'd found one of my friends and then they installed something that-" She didn't know how to explain it. There wasn't a word in any language that could describe the pain that put her through.
"Div, you're safe now" The person stood right in front of her. She started to jolt back, but something about the smell of them made her pause.  The person stood stock-still, barely breathing. Div stared at their eyes, and they held nothing but concern.
Div felt drawn in. Div felt the need to press closer to them. Div felt- flustered? She looked away from the person's face. She felt her face warm. For a moment she wished she could go back to the feeling-less place, shame quickly swallowing that feeling.
"Div," she spoke softly, "I reuploaded your memories. It seems like they're coming back, I don't want you to get overwhelmed, do you want to go lie down?"
"Noa" Div's mind supplied.
Noa beamed at her, still unmoving. Div was suddenly hit with a burst of feelings. Trust. Safety. Love.  She slammed full force into Noa, burrowing her face into her neck
She felt arms wrap around her, and she was warm and safe and home.
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iansdiorr · 2 years
Break My Heart 2
PAIRING: Christian Yu x fem reader
CONTAINS: reunion , time skip
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[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]
“You should go to her” Dabin urged his friend. Chaerin just nodded in agreement with him.
“no I have to get this video up, isn’t that why you called me over here Dabin?” Christian replied to him with an annoyed voice.
Dabin and Chaerin just looked at each other shaking their head and started to stand up to go after y/n but they were too late you were already walking out the front entrance.
No matter how much Christian wanted to focus on his work he couldn’t he just could get you out of his mind.
“goddammit” he said scaring both Chaerin and Dabin.
He stood up from his chair and grabbed his jacket and walked out the door without saying another word.
“awe he’s going to the love of his life” Dabin said teasingly
“that’s if she’s still there it’s already midnight” Chaerin said “I wouldn’t wait that long for no man”
Christian felt like his lungs were on fire but he didn’t care, in fact it made him want to run faster. He hoped that you’d still be there even if he was 3 hours late.
“you’re almost there Christian just a little more” he said to himself as he could see the bench were you both had your first kiss. But there was something wrong.
You weren’t there.
"fucking hell"he said punching a tree that was near by
"where are you y/n?" he yelled causing people to look at him like he was crazy
the house
god y/n please be there
he was running faster than before. he didn't stop not even when his lungs felt like they were burning to the point were he knew he couldn't talk
After what felt like forever but was probably only 15 minutes he finally arrived to the apartment you both live in.
He hurriedly grabbed his keys from his jacket and opened the door
"y/n?, y/n!?" he repeatedly yelled for you as he ran to your shared room.
everything that was yours was gone.
you were gone.
he sat down on the bed and opened his phone to call you but you had already blocked his number.
"fuck" was all that came out of his mouth
he tried everything even social media but he couldn't reach you.
you had already block him on everything.
2 years later
"i'm so sorry for any inconvenience that I have caused anything you order will be on the house" y/n said bowing down to the line of people and quickly going behind the counter and started to take the coffee orders.
"y/n?" a soft voice said scaring y/n and making her look up
"omg Chaerin?" y/n said with excitement in her voice
"yes! omg do you have time to talk?" Chaerin said
"I might have some time in a couple minutes" y/n replied
"okay i'll wait for you in that table"Chaerin said while pointing at a table. Y/N just nodded.
5 minutes later
"here you go" y/n said as she put a plate with a piece of red velvet cake in front of chaerin
"omg thank you so much"Chaerin said taking a bite of the cake "so what have you been up to these past 2 years"
"i've been busy, as you can see i started my own cafe. It was a dream of mine since I was little, it makes me happy that i was finally able to make it happen" y/n said smiling "what about you what have you've been up to?"
"you know the usual just realizing music"Chaerin said
"i feel like as a friend I should probably tell you that Christi-"Chaerin started but was cut off by Y/N "Sorry my break is over I should get back to work, it was nice seeing you" Chaerin could only nod and smile
"where did you find this place? It seems new, I haven't seen it" Christian said talking to Dabin
"Not sure Chaerin said she came here yesterday and she enjoyed the coffee and cake"Dabin replied looking at his phone and opening the door for both of them
"hello what would yo-" the cashier started
"Y/N?"Christian said
"um yeah, i'm sorry can you please hurry up and order a line is forming"y/n replied
"yeah we will have 2 hot chocolates and a chocolate cake" Dabin said and he can clearly see his friend wasn't in the right mindset to order "how much wo-"
"dont worry about it, on the house" y/n said smiling at Dabin
"thank you"both the males said "we will be sitting over there" Dabin said pointing to an empty table at the corner of the cafe. y/n just nodded
"two hot chocolates and a piece of chocolate cake" y/n said putting down the two mugs in front of the men and the plate in the middle.
"is there anyway we can talk?"Christian said softly while looking at y/n's dark brown eyes
"umm"y/n looks up to see how busy the cafe is "sure"
"you look great"Christian said trying to fill the awkward silence with something, anything.
"thank you christian"you said in a soft tone
"please call me ian " he said smiling a bit
"I don't think that will be appropriate, Christian" you said scratching the back of your neck
"I miss you y/n, that night I went looking for you I was dumb for starting an argument. For the past 2 years i've tried to look for you and i'm glad I finally got to see you again" he said so fast it took you a second to process everything.
"Look Christian I- I don't kno-"you started but was interrupted by the door swinging open and a man coming in
"Babe look at these strawberries I bought im sure they will go great with your strawberry cakes"the man said walking towards the table Christian and you were sitting at and taking a seat next to you.
"b- babe?" Christian said stuttering.
[Part 3]
A/N : hi i hope you guys are enjoying this fanfiction part 3 is already in the works and i'm pretty sure it will be the last part. Today is also my last day of school so ill probably be able to upload the next chapter within the next few days :)!
ALSO please send me requests I want to start writing more ff it can be of any khh / krnb artists
okay byeeee
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March 26, 2023 Osa Peninsula, Costa Rica
Part Two begins. Much as the beds on the Passion were quite comfortable, each having a comfy queen bed overstocked with pillows for our abbreviated night at the Doubletree sure felt luxurious! The night was indeed short, but still refreshing. The hotel had a breakfast buffet which was not as good as the Passion’s food, but filled our bellies. After shuffling belongings between duffels, carry-ons and “personal items” to meet the weight limits of the little 12-seater we were about to board, our driver met us and dropped us at the little domestic terminal of the airport. So easy! The flight gave us great view of the sea and coast to the right and mountains and towns to the left. Ahhh, the excitement builds…
On approach to the Osa Peninsula and after landing, it was abundantly clear that we’ve traded scruffy shrubs and lava for lush foliage and bright colored flowers. It’s considerably cooler here, and wonderfully comfortable. A young driver was at the airport to meet us (low key here, no need for a sign with our names), and took us the 20-minute drive to Drake Bay. Marginal dirt roads still got us safely to the beach where we had a wet boarding on the boat to Copa de Arbol. We passed beautiful beaches, a few people snorkeling or wandering on the shore, but the coast is very natural without a hint of over-building! Pura Vida! A greeter, Jerson, met us at the beach when we disembarked (another wet one), walked us up to the resort (stopping to see our first sloth in the trees) and showed us around. Ten cottages are each tucked away in the trees for privacy; there’s a gorgeous, tiered infinity pool; all connected with natural paths. Some of the “resorts” along the the road to Drake Bay were a little sketchy. We are very pleased that the Copa, and our private thatched roof (which later proved to be faux thatch), two-level air-conditioned cottage is well and far above those places. ‘Gotta love decadence!
While we waited a short 45ish minutes or so for the staff to finish prepping our cottage, we explored a bit. A public trail passes between the resort and the beach, and is our access point to various beaches or to head to town. When we got access, our room was set up with fresh blossoms all over: on the tables, beds, toilet, sink and bath mat – even on the garbage can. It was lovely to relax, get settled, pull out some laundry to have done (rather than more self cleaning, rinsing and wringing!). We each have space to spread out and can each see the water through the trees from our beds. It feels like being in an exotic tree house. The nice bed from the Doubletree hotel: left in the dust!!!
Lunch was delightful with a stunning view of the sea. We had our next wildlife experience with real life toucans. Amazingly beautiful birds! We got our first taste of the routine here: at lunch they take dinner orders, and at breakfast, lunch orders. Assuredly, given the Copa is quite remote with supplies brought in by boat, this allows them to preserve resources and not over-prepare one thing over the other, as well as make sure every guest gets their preference. We considered an activity this afternoon, but decided an afternoon of relaxation sounded nice. Off to the pool we went. We claimed two lounge chairs on the shady side, and went in. Wonderfully relaxing. Seb got out, hopped onto one of the chairs and proceeded to take a good long nap; Jill stayed in a while and did a bit of uploading from the lounge chair. We’re happy to have internet here, but it can be a little flakey, so photo uploading that might be simple at home might take 3 or 4 tries here. But we persist; can’t disappoint our “fans.”
4:00-5:00PM is hora feliz. How can a person turn that down when on offer are frozen strawberry daiquiris? We sat at the bar and were totally entertained by Mario, the bartender, who told us about “his” Sarah, showed us photos and even brought her up on video chat. What a hoot!
We had an early dinner so as to be on time for our night walk. Antony was our guide. Of Costa Rican/Belgian descent, he was born in Costa Rica , raised in Belgium, and returned here first as a snorkeling guide, then he branched out. Despite no formal conservation or biology schooling, he has studied up and is amazingly knowledgeable to augment his keen skills of observation, spotting the various creatures in the jungle and navigating the terrain. Each with flashlights (two other guests accompanied us), we set off in blue rubber boots so heat-seeking venomous snakes wouldn’t detect us! We saw snakes, frogs/toads, tadpoles, bugs, bats, ants (fascinating ones marching in a long row carrying pieces of leaf), crabs (yes, crabs in the jungle), spiders (including a golden orb spider with a magnificent web), a couple of sloths and lizards. At one point, Antony had us turn off all of the flashlights. It was total darkness. If one looked up, there were tiny pieces of moonlit sky visible, but none (and we mean NONE) of that tiny bit of light made it down to the path we were walking. A fascinating walk. On return, the gate to the Copa was closed. Not a problem… it was just two bamboo poles across the entrance. Antony moved the with ease. We went to our lovely cottage (room) and crashed.
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lucy90712 · 2 years
Sapnap- face cam
Wc- 1987
Warnings- none (I think)  I've been up for almost 30 hours mainly because I was doing college homework all of last night and because my boyfriend Sapnap was streaming and being very loud which kept me up in the first place which was why I did my homework anyway. I love Sapnap to death but sometime he can be a little annoying but I put up with it.
Sapnap only got into bed at 4am and he's still asleep now at 11pm meanwhile since then I've finished a big essay, cleaned the apartment, done another essay and then made breakfast for myself which I'm eating now. I wish I could be this productive when I've had sleep but somehow it never works like that.
Eventually Sapnap came downstairs sauntering because he was still sleepy, some of us wish. He walked right over giving me a hug from behind as I washed some dishes and gave me a kiss on my cheek.
"Morning babe you alright?" He asked
"Yeah I'm good a little tired but I'll live" I replied
"Just to let you know I'll be streaming later" he said
He always tells me when he's streaming because his fans don't know about us and he doesn't want to accidentally reveal anything to protect me which is cute but it gets hard when he streams for hours on end and I need help with something. Sapnap is good about to it though if I really need help I either text him or message him on discord and he'll help but he sometimes doesn't read his messages.
I gave him some of what I made for breakfast and he sat down to eat it while I talked at him about college work that he pretends to care about. He's very supportive of all my college work and he'll let me get on with things if I have to but he will also talk about things with me if I want to. Thats one of the best things about Sapnap is his ability to adapt to how I'm feeling at any given moment and I like to think I'm at least ok at doing the same for him.
After breakfast Sapnap cleaned the rest of the dishes and let me take a shower which was nice and relaxing and woke me up a little bit as the cold water at the start hit my back, usually I would not be under the water as it warmed up but today I felt like I needed a shock to my system to get it going for another day. I had more homework and a lecture to do today so there was no chance for a nap until the evening when it's kind of pointless anyway.
After my shower I got dressed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt because it was comfy for sitting down all day in. Sapnap had got my laptop ready for me and had got me a glass for water which was sweet of him. My lecture was in about 2 minutes so I logged onto the class ready for it to start, when it did I put my headphones on so that Sapnap didn't have to listen to my teacher going on about whatever we were doing today, he always says he doesn't care but even I don't want to listen to it sometimes so there is no way he does.
As I tapped away making notes Sapnap put his hand on my knee rubbing his thumb in circles comfortingly. He does this all the time whether its sat on the sofa like right now or while we're driving somewhere but its safe to say that I love it, it lets me know he's there in a weird way it's like he's acknowledging my presence. At one point he got up and went to the kitchen and when he came back he had my favourite snack which he put between us so that we could share. What a lovely boyfriend he's being today, I'm starting to wonder what he thinks he's done that's he's trying to make up for.
My lecture finally finished after what seemed like and age so I went to get straight on with my last essay that needed submitting by the end of the month but Sapnap shut my laptop before I could get the document open, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the sofa and towards the door.
"Come on were going out for a walk" he said
"Why, I have an essay to work on" I whined
"You'll never leave the house if I don't drag you out so come on" he said handing me my shoes
I put them on and grabbed a jacket because according to the weather it was meant to be a little bit chilly out today, Sapnap grabbed the house keys and pushed me out the door onto the street. We don't often go out on walks because neither of us like leaving the house that much if we were to go out it would most likely be in the car to just go for a drive.
The two of us walked down the street holding hands and swinging them back and forth as we took steps forwards. Sapnap clearly had a good idea of where he wanted to go because he was making turns all over the place. Eventually we ended up at the target not that far from our place and we went in looking at everything like you do in target and we topped up on some snacks for a movie night soon.
We left with our snacks and Sapnap dragged me to the nearest park so we could sit outside and get a bit more fresh air. The nearest park is actually the one that we went to on one of our first dates so we have good memories there, on one of the benches by the duck pond is where we had our first kiss and many more after that.
I always love going back to that park with Sapnap because each time we reminisce on the past and talk about the future which seems to change each time we come here. We walked to the exact bench that we had our first kiss on and sat down looking at the scenery. It had changed quite a bit since the first time we were here, there used to be a little play park for kids in the distance but now thats gone and is replaced with a small flower garden instead.
The first time we came here and we talked about the future all we wanted was to still be together after we left for college which of course happened, then the next time we wanted to move in together which we did and now. I'm not really sure what the future holds for us but I'm sure it will be interesting.
"Wow its been so long since we came here we have changed so much and achieved everything that we wanted to" he said
"I know its so weird to think that our last goal was to move in together and now we have been living together for 5 months where do you think we will end up in the future?" I asked
"On man I have no idea but I would love to still be living together and maybe in a bigger place and maybe even be engaged" he said
This shocked me I never expected him to say that but I guess that is the next logical step for us to take in our relationship.
"I like the sound of that" I said  
We went back home and Sapnap went to stream while I worked on my essay he didn't tell me how long he was going to stream for but it will probably be about 3 hours. So I sat down and got on with writing the last 15 pages of my essay which would probably take me the entire time he was streaming maybe longer.
My essay took me almost exactly 4 hours to do but when I tried to submit it it wouldn't upload which happens from time to time. I looked at the upload speed of the WiFi since Sapnap taught me how to do it and it was fine but I assumed that it was being used for something else. This problem has happened before when Sapnap is uploading a video so I assumed that was the issue.
It got up and walked to Sapnap’s streaming room waiting outside for a moment to double check that he wasn't still streaming, I waited a couple minutes and heard nothing so I knocked and went in.
As soon as I went in I saw that Sapnap was still streaming and his face cam was on which meant that I was now on his stream in front of however many people. I've never made such a stupid mistake especially one that outs my entire relationship, I just stood in shock not being able to move and get out of the shot. Sapnap had the exact same reaction his face was filled with shock and fear at the same time.
Nothing prepares you for the moment that you expose yourself live in front of probably 100,000 people or more who will record anything that happens. Nothing prepares you for the chaos that will ensue when you do the before mentioned thing and definitely nothing prepares you for the guilt you feel doing so.
"Um hi y/n" He said trying to make things less awkward
"Hey" I replied shyly
He motioned for me to come over because there was no point trying to hide this anymore since no one will believe anything we say now. I stood next to Sapnap luckily being short enough that I still fit in frame but he had obviously given up caring at this point because he pulled me down into his lap to sit while we talked to his chat. Again he did the thing where he rubs his thumb in a circle on my leg and this time it really was for comfort.
"Well chat this is y/n and shes my... girlfriend" he said
"Hi everyone" I said shyly
"Now chat I'm going to need you to be nice to her or I'll be angry because she is very precious to me" he said
His chat were going insane telling others to clip this and people getting way to excited about all of this and some were asking questions. The whole chat was going so incredibly fast that it was hard to read all the messages.
We answered some of the basic questions like how long we have been together and other things, people also asked if George and Dream knew which of course they did and they have made jokes about Sapnap having a girlfriend but no one ever took it too seriously. At one point dream joined the call and started mocking us for being stupid and exposing ourselves and he told some stories that he knew we wouldn't mind him saying which the chat enjoyed.
I started yawning more and more as I stayed on the stream because I wasn't keeping my mind busy my tiredness was taking over. I leant back into Sapnap to rest my head on his shoulder, he out his hand on my head running it through my hair which is very relaxing.
"Are you tired?" He asked
"No I'm fine I can stay awake" I said
"I don't want to hear it I know you've been awake for over 24 hours so you are going to sleep" he almost demanded
He put his arms around my waist and pulled me into a comfortable position where I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost right away forgetting that Sapnap was still streaming but it doesn't matter.
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blackbat05 · 2 years
Day by Day
Shangqi x Reader 
A/N: My love for this man has hit an all time high so let me capitalize on it while I still can! If you read everything, I sincerely thank you for doing so!!! And holy cow 2 fics in 2 days have I gone back into my prime days? 
Genre: PG-13
Notes: As the title mentioned, I’ll probably set it some time after endgame. You could see it as a prequel to my first post! Reader is a social worker and she’s just dealing with all the mess that the snap bought back. The reader’s name as Jen Lee. I also apologize in advance for the potentially long fic. 
‘Excuse me, I’m looking for my child? Her name’s Wang Yiman and she’s seven.’ Another frazzled-looking parent fought her way to the front of the receptionist, approaching the helpless intern who looked like she was going to be on the verge of tears if another request came in. 
‘I got this,’ a hand calmly reassured the young intern as she beckoned the relief parent. ‘Mrs Wang? My name is Jen Lee and I’m the social worker here.’ I offered my hand for the anxious mother. ‘Oh thank god! Is Yiman ok? She must have been so scared!’ I slowed to a stop outside the room at the end of the corridor, gently sitting her down. 
‘Yiman has been a very brave girl Mrs Wang, but I will not lie to you. The sudden disappearance of their parents has traumatized a lot of kids. We’ve managed to explain to them what was going on but they will need a lot of support.’ I gave a glance over Mrs Wang’s shoulder, nodding to my colleague, Tammy who was holding the hand of a little girl in pigtails and a floral dress. 
妈妈! mā ma (mommy!)
The young girl ran into her mother’s open arms, allowing the floodgates to open from both ends. I turn to Tammy as we shared a silent agreement to leave the area. ‘That’s the last one for the day,’ Tammy unceremoniously plops herself onto the chair, letting out a groan. ‘Thanks for your hard work Jen.’ 
‘Right back at you.’ I entered the last bit of paperwork before uploading Yiman’s case file onto the portal. Yiman’s reunion with her parents meant the Children and Youth Centre were halfway in getting every displaced child back to their parents. Looking at the dingy television that was hung on the walls at the waiting room, despite not being able to hear anything, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on. S.W.O.R.D was apparently in a stand-off against Wanda Maximoff? Reported rumors that Sam Wilson didn’t want anything to do with the shield? It’s been a crazy few weeks but that was utter- 
‘Bullshit! If anything it’s the government. They must have psyched him into giving up the shield.’ My chair swiveled to face Tammy who returned a nonchalant shrug. ‘What? You know I’m right. Doesn’t matter if half the world’s gone or our universe gets split into two - they’re the true evil here. I’m still struggling to find a place after I found a couple making out in my apartment! And you know what the global repatriation council told me? We’re only dealing with urgent cases right now. Well I say f-’
The incessant ringing of the bell interrupted our conversation, replacing Tammy’s tirade into a cheeky grin. ‘Look who’s here!’ 
Shangqi stands behind the counter, dressed in his usual red varsity jacket and jeans, holding bags of what I could only make out as takeout from the Chinese restaurant that was run by a friendly Singaporean couple. ‘Did I interrupt something?’ He scratches his head nervously. ‘Nope, in fact you just saved me from Tammy’s monologue, any further and she’ll explicitly tell me what she saw in her apartment when she got dusted back that day,’ I shivered in mock fear. ‘Still haunts me up till today.’ Tammy meets us by the door, bag in her hand. 
‘I thought you were staying? We got fried dumplings and 泡饭  pào fàn (poached rice).’ 
‘Last minute duty - A parent called, gotta run! Enjoy your dinner date.’ She waggles her eyebrows suggestively, much to our embarrassment. ‘What? It’s not...’ Shangqi stutters, trying to form intelligible sentences. ‘Get out before I throw a fried dumpling at your face Tammy!’ She winks at me, before darting out of the door. Once my nosy colleague was out, I turn towards a red-faced Shangqi. ‘I’m so sorry... just don’t mind her.’ 
‘Huh?’ The man was knocked out of his stupor. ‘Oh yeah... sure,’ in an attempt to forget everything that had just happened, he opened the packets of fried dumplings. ‘Ready for war?’ 
‘I was born ready.’ 
Thirty-five minutes later, all that was left were the remnants of fried dumplings and three empty containers. 
‘This should be illegal,’ I patted my stomach in satisfaction to his amusement. ‘Laugh at yourself! You lost track of how many dumplings you had and ended up taking my share!’ 
Raising his hands in defeat, Shangqi starts to clear the table up. ‘So how’s the center? Everything alright?’ I nodded numbly. 
The past five years had been a blur. Hazy, even. All I remembered was a kid running into the office telling me that half of the staff disappeared during a school holiday program that we were running with a dozen other kids. Parents who survived the snap rushed to our center, demanding to see their children. We couldn’t give them any answer as we too, were equally perplexed. Maybe the only thing that made sense was Shangqi and Katy bursting into the center to help us with the chaos. 
Coming back from what could be the 1000th phone call, I got a glimpse in the children’s playroom where the five years old kids were at, treating myself to an amusing sight. They all had red cloths draped around their neck, each holding a stick that was from the abandoned prop box. Katy wasn’t spared to as she was wearing her own red cloth that seemed a few sizes to small for her. Not that she didn’t seem to mind. 
‘Alright my warriors! Chargeeeeee!!!!!!’ 
In unison, little pairs of feet pattered across the room towards their ‘enemy’, a cardboard cutout of a monstrous creature who was really just Shangqi in disguise. 
‘RAWR! I’ll eat anyone who stands in my way!’ He stands up, mimicking a dinosaur that was about to trample an entire city. I decided that the paperwork could wait, standing near the door to watch an Oscar-worthy performance. With great effort and bravery from the kids, they finally managed to take down 5 foot 10 worth of muscle. 
‘Again! Again!’ 
I chuckled upon seeing Shangqi on the floor, about to drift off into wonderland. It was time for me to step in. ‘Alright kids that’s enough for today! Dinner’s here.’  As the kids dispersed with the help of Katy, it was just the two of us left to clear up the mess. ‘Thank you so much, both of you. I honestly can’t think of what would happen if you guys didn’t come to help.’ 
Perhaps my body language was screaming ‘I’m dead tired, please just knock me out’ as Shangqi takes a cloth from me, folding it back into the box. ‘It’s what we would have done, this place, it means a lot to us - to me.’ 
A small knock on the door diverts our attention away from the trash. Little Yiman stands at the door, as she stares at the both of us with big round eyes. 
‘Yiman, it’s late, what are you doing here?’ I squat down to her eye level. The little girl beams, ‘ 妈妈 said that I could give this to you!’ She passes me a juice box together with a handmade card with colorful scribbles. Maybe I was carrying too much on my shoulders, as I suddenly felt a boulder lifted off me. ‘Thank you,’ I smile at her sweetly, ‘I love apple juice.’ Happy with the response, she runs to Shangqi. ‘Shangqi 哥哥 gē ge (brother)!’ 
He breaks out into a smile, opening his arms wide. Yiman nuzzles her head into his shoulder before breaking out into uncontrollable giggles from his sudden attack of tickles. ‘Are you hear to help Miss Jen?’ I took the trash from his hands, giving him some time with the girl. 
‘Yes I am. Miss Jen needs some help so I’m here today!’ 
‘Are you her boyfriend?’ 
Shangqi freezes on the spot. He had undergone what could be the toughest training by his father, fought the greatest assassins in the world and here he was - stumped by a question from a seven year old. ‘Well... I’m her close friend since when we were very young,’ Yiman looks at him expectantly. ‘She helped me when I was in trouble so I had to be a good friend when she was in trouble too.’ 
‘Like how Ningning helped me when I injured my knee?’ 
‘Yeah... something like that.’ He breathes a sigh of relief, thankful to escape his first crisis. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he was telling himself the truth. 
‘Yiman! Your mother’s here!’ The little girl gives him one last hug before running to the waiting room. Shangqi takes a moment to recollect himself. ‘Here I am thinking that you finally managed to have some stamina while interacting with young children, maybe I was wrong.’ I teased as I sat beside him. 
‘Har har, hilarious.’ He tosses me a straw for our peach teas, as we were greeted by the amazing night view of San Francisco. ‘Enough about me, you good though?’ Looks like he didn’t forget the conversation that was cut off earlier. My mind goes back to a few minutes earlier, eavesdropping on the conversation.
‘I had to be a good friend when she was in trouble too.’
Life has been so unpredictable, I don’t even want to think too far into the future. With appearances from more superpowered beings, I don’t know what’s real anymore.
‘Yeah. To be honest, it’s been so crazy and overwhelming but I’ll get through it. I have you don’t I?’ Giving him a wink, I slowly sipped on the sweetness of the tea, savoring the pearls. He pauses for a moment, nodding thoughtfully. 
Life isn’t the same as it was before. But maybe, just maybe... if I had Shangqi, I’ll take each day on one at a time. Day by day. 
A/N: Hoho! I literally spent the whole afternoon writing because I just had to get this idea out and also because work was pretty slow today. I have no idea what is up with my first two fics hinting at unrequited love? I guess I got inspired by Shangqi’s and Katy’s platonic relationship because I thought it was so well written but I also love Shangqi so I guess is a compromise kinda thing. Again, do like and comment if you wish! Really thankful that y’all have been so kind to me so far! 
Perhaps I’ll try my hand at shorter ones like headcannons before this girl exhausts herself out and I don’t want to do that because I believe I have more to show! 
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Have I Known You 20 Seconds or 20 Years? – Nikolai Lantsov Series
Chapter 1: Devils Roll the Dice, Angel Roll their Eyes
Chapter 2: You Did a Number on Me
Chapter 3: You Could Call Me Babe for the Weekend
A very short summary: Y/N has been working with the crows for a few years. Her life feels complete until she meets the insufferable Nikolai Lantsov. She finds herself forced to work with the King of Ravka on one of Kaz Brekker’s crazy schemes.
Word count: 2k
A/N: Finally starting to get somewhere!! I just started writing chapter 4, so it might take a bit longer before I upload again. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter in the meanwhile.
Thank you for reading! Just send me an ask if you want to be added to my taglist :) 
Chapter 3: You Could Call Me Babe for the Weekend
The next morning went by in a blur. They had moved everything to Wylan’s house on Geldstraat. Kaz was right. It would’ve been too suspicious if they had left for the party from the barrel. Questions about the job were being thrown from one person to the next. Various answers about cues and schedules flying in every direction.
“Wait, what time are we supposed to get to the party again?”
“Quarter after 6 bells, Jesper!” Yelled Wylan running by with an armful of party clothes.
“Nikolai and I are getting there at 6 bells. That way it won’t look like we know each other.” Y/N had been heading off in the opposing direction.
“Wylan! You forgot your jacket in the music room” Kaz’s raspy voice was easily recognizable above the others.
“I’ll go ahead and scout for the best location for you to hide to summon the storm. I’ll come get you at a quarter to 8 bells.”
Nikolai had to admire the crows’ ability to understand each other and get the job done in such chaos. They were running back and forth in every direction trying to get everything ready. Even Zoya seemed at ease discussing the plan with Inej. He needed this job to succeed. He needed to guarantee his country’s future. Once he was done dealing with this newest threat from Fjerda…? He’d like to work with the crows again. He felt much freer. Maybe it could become a side hustle for him and Zoya. It would give them a nice break from ruling a country.
He felt a soft hand rest on his arm. “Hey, we should probably go get ready for the party. We’ll meet here at 5 bells? That way we can go over last-minute details and head over.” She was smiling up at him. Her smile was soft as if she could tell he was anxious. He let his eyes trail over her tailored face and couldn’t help but miss her true features once more.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you then, my darling.” He pressed a quick kiss to her knuckles and watched her disappear up the vast staircase.
Nikolai made his way to the room Wylan had so graciously offered him that morning. It was not his room at the Grand Palace, but it was much nicer than the one he’d had at the slat. He took his time putting on the rich merch’s clothes Kaz had picked out for him. He was still in awe of the work Y/N had done on him. The young king found himself unavoidably staring at himself in the mirror mounted to his wall. He finished buttoning up his shirt and folded his suit jacket on his arm. It was almost 5 bells. He knew he should make his way back to the mansion’s parlor.
Nikolai had barely sat in one of the large armchairs when an appreciative whistle sounded on his left. He followed Jesper’s gaze to the stairs. Y/N’s dress accentuated her new body in all the right places. Nikolai couldn’t help but think it would’ve suited her even better before the tailoring.
“No one warned me I’d have to fight off every man who lays eyes on my wife.” He complained.
He watched as Inej and Zoya approached Y/N. The women shared a few whispered comments before they lead Y/N to him. He could’ve sworn he saw the girl’s cheeks turn red. He had to put up a lot more effort than he was used to in schooling his own features. The way the dress moved along to the sway of her hips, with every step she took, made his brain go blank. He imagined the way it would’ve been even more sensual with her natural curves. Maybe he could convince her to wear the gown again once she’d tailored them both back to normal. His mind was racing with images of her, twirling in his arms, wearing that damned dress.
“Anything you want to go over before we get going?” She was looking at him expectantly, her eyes bright, her tailored lips stretched in a small smile.
His mouth felt dry. All eyes were on him. He had to fight to kick start his brain again. “Nope, I think we’re ready.” He offered her a hand, his natural charm coming back to him. “Shall we, my darling wife?”
She took his hand and they headed for the door leading to the elegant boathouse. “No mourners” she called over her shoulder.
A unified “No funerals” rang out behind them. Nikolai made a mental note to ask them what the saying meant, at some point, when he wasn’t so distracted by the beautiful Grisha on his arm.
They’d taken a small, polished boat to make their way to councilman Van Verent’s house. It had only taken a few minutes for them to reach the sophisticated boathouse on the councilman’s property. A Stadwatch officer had taken their invitation before guiding them to the stylishly decorated mansion. Flowers from every guest’s country were arranged in beautiful crystal vases matching the colourful silk ribbons adorning the banister. As they entered the main hall, they were stunned by the sheer number of guests already in attendance. The main floor was filled with dignitaries from Kerch, Novyi Zem, Shu Han, Fjerda, and the Wandering Isle. Nikolai noticed the absence of anyone representing his country. Good, he thought, it’ll make the job easier.
To his dismay, Y/N was already catching the eye of a few men standing off to the sides of the room. He wrapped his arm tightly around her waist, pulling her closer, sending the interested parties a nasty look. He felt her breath hitch but didn’t release his hold on her body. She was his wife. Anyone who wanted to get to her would have to go through him. Nikolai was surprised by the jealousy he felt. He was usually in control of his feelings, always choosing to be pragmatic rather than emotional. He knew they had to put on a convincing act. He still wasn’t supposed to be this possessive of a girl he’d only met a few days ago, right? All the Saints and their mothers, Zoya will murder me if she finds out about this.
Y/N had maneuvered them towards a group of Zemeni dignitaries, quickly engaging in easy conversation with one of the wives. Nikolai used the opportunity to present their made-up business proposal to a few interested parties, promising to send them more information as soon as they went back home to the Wandering Isle.
They navigated group after group of foreign and domestic dignitaries for about an hour. He had to admit Kaz had done a wonderful job when creating their false identities, but he was tired of the constant mindless chattering. How lucky, he thought, the dance floor seems very appealing right about now.
He leaned in close, letting his lips brush against Y/N’s ear, interrupting her conversation. “You are doing a fantastic job, my love.” He felt her shiver against him. “I’m sure we’ll have plenty of business partners once you’re done here. Now, however, I would very much like to dance with my beautiful wife.” She looked at him, surprise evident in her deep brown eyes. Nikolai smirked; he could get used to this. He offered her a hand before guiding her swiftly to the dance floor.
He felt men staring, once again, at ‘his wife’ as they graciously made their way to the middle of the floor. The small orchestra started playing a beautiful soft song, perfect for a romantic moment between lovers. Nikolai rested his right hand on the small of Y/N’s back, pulling her close, keeping her hand tightly in his own. He felt her free hand gently come to rest on his shoulder. His heart beating more quickly than he would’ve liked. Why am I so nervous? She was gazing up at him, a gentle smile gracing her lips. He swallowed hard. Nikolai had never felt more grateful for the dance lessons he’d taken as a child. He’d only done it to please his mother. He had to admit he was glad they were paying off now. To anyone watching them, they simply looked like newlyweds, madly in love, eager to share a dance.
They turned elegantly, in time with the slow music, their bodies completely in sync. Their breathing even, their steps well-balanced. The deep green skirts of her dress following every graceful movement they made. She followed his lead perfectly as if they’d been partners for years. She seemed to trust him completely, showing him how safe she felt in his arms. Time slowed for a moment. Nikolai found himself forgetting all about the job, about the plans they had to steal, even about his country. He wanted to stay in this moment, holding the talented Grisha against him, forever.
The sound of applause brought him out of his reverie. He took in their surroundings. Y/N looked as surprised as he felt. Her eyes wide, cheeks flushed. He had no idea how long they had been dancing, how many songs had been played. It dawned on him that they were the cause of the applause. People had stopped dancing and talking to watch the young couple, completely lost in each other, moving elegantly across the floor. He saw Jesper and Wylan, wide grins plastered on their faces, in the far corner of the room. They looked way too pleased. Saints, I hope they won’t tell Brekker about this.
He bowed, Y/N following his lead once again, before walking off the dance floor, towards the grand staircase. They had to stop drawing so much attention to themselves. He wished he could have a moment to talk to Y/N, alone, away from the prying eyes of the crowd. She was playing her role to perfection, all smiles, as couples complimented them on their dancing for the next few minutes.
The ornate wall-mounted clock chimed. Zoya, Wylan, and Jesper would create the distraction in 15 minutes. Wylan subtly nodded to him, indicating he had already placed the small incendiary charge in the dining room. He had developed this newest marvel by studying and modifying one of David Kostyk’s discoveries. It seemed the boy truly was a genius. Jesper would detonate the charge at 8 bells, the sound of his shot covered by the storm Zoya would summon. The fire would require all-hands-on-deck to be put out, leaving the office unguarded. If everything went according to Kaz’s plan, it would give him and Y/N about 30 minutes to pick the lock of Van Verent’s office, crack the safe and make their way back to the party with the blueprints safely tucked in the sheath hidden beneath Y/N’s dress.
They came to a halt in the shadow of the staircase, ready to spring to action at their cue. Nikolai made sure to pull Y/N close, slipping an arm around her waist.
“I didn’t know you were such a good dancer, my love.” He murmured. Better keep up the act. She makes it easy, though. I don’t even have to lie.
She laughed softly and turned in his arms, snaking her own arm around his neck, pressing her lips quickly against his cheek. “Thank you, darling. I am full of hidden talents, you know...” the raise of her eyebrow and her tone so suggestive Nikolai had to fight to keep a straight face. She’s only doing her job. She’s supposed to be my wife. It’s only normal that a young wife should flirt with her delightfully handsome husband. He was trying to convince himself but the playful look in her eyes told him otherwise. She spun around once more, keeping his hand on her waist, leaving him to observe the guests enjoying the party.
The clock chimed once more. 8 bells. Thunder boomed outside, rain battering the windows. A high-pitched scream sounded to his right, coming from the dining room. Other screams quickly followed. Guests ran past them, fleeing the room. Guards came rushing down the stairs, towards the fire. It was complete chaos. Nikolai found himself impressed, once again, by how brilliant the crows were. Maybe I could convince Kaz to help me plan my next military campaign? Or get Wylan to come work with David. I should at least sail with the Wraith and her crew.
Y/N’s fingers closed around his wrist. “That’s our cue.” She said with a sly grin on her lips.
Taglist: @power-of-words23
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thebestofoneshots · 2 years
Time-Variant 30578 (Part 5)
Part 5: For all time, Always.
Read the beginning here: (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
Series Summary: You end up on the TVA after becoming a nexus event. Just before you get reset, Mobius appears to recruit you into the team to catch Loki’s Variant. You’re not too happy about it. 
(This chapter follows the events of episode 6)
Word Count: 9k
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Warning: Mentions of attempted su*cide. Dark humour.
Uploaded: 20.08.2021
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They turned to you with a small smile on their faces “It’s time to go, isn’t it?” You asked as you placed yourself next to them.
Sylvie nodded and reached for your hand “We’ll do it together.” The three of you walked alongside each other, through the clouds that were now dispersed and through the rocks that layered in between them. On the very centre, there was a big gothic mansion, all black with golden cracks like the ones that reconnected old Asian plates. Strangely enough, it reminded you of the "twisted mansion" in Mario Kart, you really hoped you weren’t going to end up with a turtle shell on your head, but this adventure had been so baffling that you wouldn’t be surprised. You looked around, admiring the devastating beauty of your surroundings. You knew you’d follow these people to the ends of time, you just never expected it to actually happen. Once you reached the door the three of you stared at each other for a second before Sylvie looked straight ahead. Almost hesitating as she looked at the door. "Aren't you gonna tell me not to kick the door in?" she asked.
"It never made a difference," Loki answered solemnly.
"Well, if you think it's a bad idea, I prefer you to speak your mind," She replied sternly.
"No. Nothing to say."
"That'll be a first," she added before turning to you, "what about you?"
"I’ll come with you Sylvie," you replied "I don’t care if you allohomora the door or kick it in instead." She turned back at the door and took a deep breath. "Everything ok?" You asked, a bit of concerned slipping out along with your words.
"Yeah. Just need a moment," she replied, trying to ease herself.
"Right." You said.
"It's just, you normally..." continued Loki.
She turned to him "Loki, shut up. I was pruned before you even existed. I have been waiting for this moment my entire life. I just need a second to get my head straight, okay?"
"Sure. Of course." Loki nodded. She turned back at the door and gave a small step forward but the door opened before she could do anything else. "That’s not creepy or anything," you whispered as Loki and Sylvie turned to the door expectantly. The three of you walked in, no word was spoken. The door closed behind you with a loud thud. And you continued walking inside, figures of the timekeepers could be seen, one statue on either side of the big heavy door standing in front of you. And then, out of literally nowhere, miss minutes appeared with a rather unsettling look to her. You jumped and garbed onto Sylvie and Loki’s arms for support. While they drew their weapons. "Holly shit miss minutes that was funking horrifying." Loki and Sylvie raised an eyebrow at you.
"I can’t be the only one that got the jump scare vibes from it, can I?" You asked them. They motioned to their weapons. "Well it's not like those can do anything to a hologram-like being, can they?" You reasoned. They lowered their blades. Miss minutes who was patiently waiting for you to stop talking continued "Welcome to The Citadel at the End of Time."
"Come on." Loki nudged you and Sylvie to ignore the hologram and continue your walk.
"Congratulations. Y'all had an awfully long journey to get here. He's impressed." She said following the three of you as you tried to skip past her.
"Who's impressed?" You asked. Loki shot you a look.
"He Who Remains." She replied simply. "And who is he?" Sylvie asked now.
"He created all and He controls all. At the end, it is only He Who Remains. And he wants to offer you a deal. He's been making a few creative adjustments, and he's worked it out so we can reinsert both of y'all back into the Timeline in a way that won't disrupt things."
"Won't disrupt things?" Loki asked.
"Mmm-hmm." Nodded Miss Minutes with a soft look in her animated features. "The TVA can keep doin' its vital work and y'all can live the lives you've always wanted."
"And what have we always wanted?" Asked Loki stern.
"Now, don't play coy with me, mister. You know how you got into this mess."
"What?" He asked. "The Battle of New York, silly. You versus those self-righteous Avengers. How would you like to win? But not just there. You can kill Thanos. Do you want the Infinity Gauntlet? Yours. Throne of Asgard? No problem." She smiled and turned to Sylvie. "What about you, missy? All those years on the run. Desperate, alone. How would you like to wake up tomorrow with just a lifetime of happy memories?" She paused and then continued "Two Lokis in the same place."
"Both of us... together on the Timeline." Loki asked.
"It's crazy, but he could make it work. All of it. Everything. Exactly the way you've always wanted. And you can have it all, together." She then turned to you "And you…" you gulped "how about your dream life, a beautiful apartment with your dream job, no more fights, no more pain, no more plans for death. Just happiness (Y/N), just peace."
You looked at her, never in hell would you take such an offer, but you were scared that Loki and Sylvie would. You had to do something. "You can’t do that." Miss minutes smiled, approaching you "He can." She said as she placed her hand over your head. You heard Loki and Sylvie’s worried voice shouting your name, but the next thing you knew you were waking up on a bed. You looked around, confused.
"Morning babe," said a tall dark-haired and blue-eyed man from the door. The man had a wooden tray with food on it. No, not a man, your boyfriend, you remembered. "Today’s breakfast in bed day." He said with an adoring smile. He leaned closer and gave you a small kiss on the cheek. You smiled as he sat on the bed next to you. Placing the tray in between the two of you, with an amazing-looking breakfast resting on top of it. Waffles, scones, croissants, fresh berries and other tasty fruit. You looked at it agape. "You like it." You nodded, turning to look at him, the man was gorgeous that was evident. Sharp jawline, a bit of scruff, eyes you could get lost on easily. Completely your type, and yet, something seemed off like he wasn’t supposed to be here. Like he belonged somewhere else. No, you realized, I’m the one that shouldn’t be here. Like a bad photoshop, good enough for the general public, but clearly evident for the trained eye. “You alright babe?” He asked, concern evident in his voice, such loving looks he’d sent your way it was hard not to fall for the scheme.
“I’m fine,” you lied, with a small smile “this looks incredible.”
“Only the best for my birthday girl,” he grinned, “I have our entire day planned, today.”
“Is this bacon?” You asked grabbing a small piece that sat next to the strawberries. He nodded.
“It’s coated with dark chocolate. The lady from the YouTube video promised it would be delicious.”
You gave it a small bite “Well she didn’t lie,” you replied with a smile.
“Really?” He asked hopefully.
“Here,” you said handing it towards him. But rather than grabbing it with his hands, he gave it a bite from your own.
He smiled again “it IS really good.” You laughed, realizing some tension you didn’t even know you were holding. It was a peaceful place, you acknowledged. And he, he was dreamy. He felt like a man that would only exist in fantasy. Once you had finished your breakfast he took all the dishes away and washed them before you could protest. Telling you it was time to change. “Put on something casual but nice,” he’d told you. You did as told and the next thing you knew you were walking alongside him in the streets of New York, where you had always wanted to live.
"What are we going to do?" You asked looking around, taking everything in, as if it were the first time you walked those streets, which definitely wasn’t since it was on your way to work, you remembered.
"It’s a bit of a surprise." He grinned. As you continued your walk you started getting rather cold, as you blew some air into your hands to warm them down he placed his in front of your face with a caring expression. You stared at his hand for a second, a very nice hand indeed. "Just grab it, babe, like always."
"Like always," you smiled as you grabbed onto his hand. It was warm and big and it felt like he truly cared for your well-being. But his hand on yours, there was something wrong with that as well, as if it shouldn’t be there. Not this hand. You thought as you looked at it attentively.
He noticed and pulled you closer to him, "we’re gonna have lots of fun, I promise," he said before giving you a small kiss on the forehead. After a few minutes of more walking he guided you to the entrance of a subway, there, just as you were walking something made you stop on your tracks "that’s oddly familiar," you said as you pulled the two of you into a halt.
He turned to look where you were "the alligator in the poster?" He questioned confused.
"Yeah," you nodded. "Although he lacks something," you frowned, your head started to hurt as you tried to think further "I can’t quite place what."
"Maybe a bird on top of him," he said as he pulled you back to continue walking "we must continue, or we won’t be there on time."
"There? There where?" You asked.
"Oh, you’ll see," he replied with a cheeky smile before dragging you into the wagon that would take you to your next stop. On the train, a different poster caught your eye, it was a watch. "I've never seen you wearing one," he pointed out when he noticed.
"What?" You asked confused at first "oh, no, that’s not why I’m looking at it, it’s just that it reminded me of something, but I don’t know what that is anymore."
He laughed, you did as well. He reached for your hand again and held it on top of his leg as the train continued, he stood up after the third stop "this is where we come down." You nodded and followed him. He guided you through the station and out onto the street, skyscrapers up close and big buildings all around, it was near the centre of the city, you noticed. "First, we’ll be going to a museum," he said with a smile, dragging you through the crowds of tourists taking pictures. He smiled when he reached the place, a big bright poster read "Avengers tower".
"The superhero museum?” You said excitedly. He nodded and dragged you inside, handed tickets to the lady at the from desk and sooner than later you were inside. There were tons of rooms with different themes on them, such as the battle for earth, the battle of Wakanda, Ultron, but one of them called your attention more than the rest. "Can we go there?" You asked him.
"The battle of New York," he grinned. "It’s always been your favourite hasn’t it?"
Had it? You thought. As you walked through the halls and looked at the small trinkets from the battle, some alien weapons, some pieces from the suits the heroes wore, replicas of their weapons, such as the Captain America shield standing proud in the centre of the room. The wax statues of all the heroes, from Natasha to Thor. As you looked at him a small laugh came out from your lips. "What is it?" He asked leaning closer to you.
"Oh, is just, can you imagine how unthreatening he would be if he was only 5 inches tall," you pointed a Thor.
"He wouldn’t be a very strong hero then, wound he?" He smiled at your joke. The two of you continued walking hand in hand, you still trying to ignore the strange feeling that told you that it wasn’t right, that you shouldn’t be there and that his hand shouldn’t be holding yours. That’s when something brought you to a stop. Arms open, a wicked smile on his face, with proud horns coming out of his helmet. "Loki." He said. Why does he look so evil? you wondered as you looked at him attentively. He certainly isn’t that bad. Wait? How would you know such a thing? You didn’t even know the man, heck, he’d been dead for over 50 years. When Thanos destroyed half the universe. "If you keep staring at him like that I’ll get jealous," your boyfriend joked, "even more with the amount of essays you wrote about him in school.
You turned back to him, "I just… something seems off with this wax statue, doesn’t it? Like it’s been made to look more evil?"
He turned towards the statue and gave it a long look "he’s going to come and take you away," he said with a playful voice as he grabbed you from the wait and raised you a little, dragging you towards a different part of the exhibition as you laughed. Some old lady approached and shushed the two of you before he put you down and muttered an apology. Once she was gone the two of you started laughing again. He put his hand over your shoulder and you continued walking through the halls of the museum. Looking at different statues of different heroes and villains. As you walked alongside the man, no, your boyfriend, you reminded yourself, you entered the hall of Captain Americas, looking at the several statues of the men that had worn the shield through the years. "You know, I always liked Sam Wilson’s cap best," he said looking at the statue of him “he was just a normal man with great morals and an amazing sense of humour."
You huffed, "I thought you would," you said with a smile "you always do love a hero with a sense of humour."
"What about you?" He wondered.
"I always liked Steve," you shrugged. After a few more halls you entered a room called young avengers. With hundreds of great looking weapons at first, and then there were the statues, first, it was Wiccan and Speed, one next to two each other like they were always, then it was Kate Bishop, iron heart and then, you stopped dead in your tracks "that’s Jr."
"What?" Asked blue eyes confused. "Do you mean kid Loki?"
"Oh, right, kid Loki," you added.
"I’m pretty sure he would be pissed if he had heard you call him Jr," he laughed and pulled you to continue on the tour. "Sure he would," you agreed. And continued walking alongside him. When the tour was needed he pulled you closer as you walked outside into the chill air of the afternoon. "It’s time for your present," he said with a smile, dragging you through the swarms of people, bringing you towards somewhere. A bookstore.
"Barnes and Nobble?" You asked confused as he looked at you with a smile.
"I’ll buy you as many books I can carry with my two arms open." He smiled positioning his two arms in front of him "they will be a lot of books, yes?"
You laughed "don’t be ridiculous hun.”
“I’m a serious doll, all the books I can carry," he smiled sheepishly and dragged you inside the store. As you walked through the halls he kept showing you books you might be interested in. Sometimes you’d grab one and place it on his hands. After a while of roaming, he carried one big annotated version of your favourite book and a couple of other smaller books that seemed interesting to the two of you, because of course, you had to think of him as well, if he was gonna buy you so many books, at least he could enjoy some of them as well. But then a certain book stopped you dead in your tracks. A hardcover leather-bound book, wine red in colour and golden details "The sacred timeline," you read the title out loud. "You’ve always liked time travel stories, haven’t you?" He said grabbing the book from your hands and placing it in the pile in his, moving you along to continue walking. You picked a couple of other books and then he took you to the checkout, as he’d promised, he had paid for all the books and helped you placed them on two fabric bags you’d gotten for spending so much. You tried to help him carry one but they took it away from your hand as soon as he noticed "na-ah, this is a gift, I’m not gonna make you carry it all the way to our next stop.”
‘’Next stop?” You asked with a smile “there is the next stop?"
"Of course there is the next stop," he grinned, giving you a fast kiss on the cheek and dragging you with him towards the street. After some more walking, he dragged you into a theatre to see the musical you’d been wanting to see for a while.
"How did you get tickets?" You’d asked him.
"I’ve been planning this for months doll," he'd replied. After the play, you’d gone back to your shared apartment. He drew you a bath and allowed you to take your time to relax, while he prepared the next surprise, he’d told you. When you got out of the tub he’d already prepared dinner. Set on the small table in front of the TV, control ready for you to pick a movie to watch. Days went by, he’d always make sure to make magical moments happen, dropping you flowers before he left for work, bringing you small presents, like cakes and other desserts to your office when he got a break from work, taking you to have breakfast, from street food to fancy restaurants, taking you to museums and art shows and other events that you’d always fancied. It all seemed like a long dream, it was too good to be true. One night, when he had to stay at work late you went out to buy him something to eat, you got him a couple of gyros and left them in his office. "I wish I’d finish faster, I really wanted to watch that new show with you tonight," he’d told you.
“Work’s first, don’t worry about it babe, we can watch it tomorrow, all right?" you reassured him, he still didn’t seem convinced but let you out of the hug.
"See you later doll." You’d smiled and gave him a small kiss on the lips before walking back to your apparent. It still didn’t feel right. Like you weren’t supposed to be there and you weren’t supposed to be kissing his lips, but you shook off the feeling and walked back home. Once you arrived at your apartment you fumbled with the keys for a bit, as if you were new to the place even if you had supposedly lived there for 3 years and once you managed to get in, you took off your sneakers leaving them on the small shoe rack. As you leaned down to accommodate them your eyes drifted to the bookshelf. The book "The Scared Timeline," laid there and then. You frowned, remembering how quickly he’d placed on the pile of books and dragged you to the next hall on the bookshop. You left your coat on the hanger and grabbed the book. Placing on the counter as you prepared yourself a warm cup of hot cocoa, since the apparent was very cold due to the time of the year. Once your beverage was ready you went for a blanket and dropped over the sofa. Walking back to the kitchen for your mug and the book. As you set the dishwasher you distractedly opened the book and started looking through the pages, the first one you opened was the review.
"This majestic work of fiction by Stan Lee, narrates the wondrous adventure of Peggy, a young woman that gets taken to the Time-Variant Authority after her boyfriend causes a nexus event that involves her…" in that line, everything came back, as your mug dropped to the floor and shattered into tens of tiny pieces, all the memories from your adventure went through your mind. How the TVA had stopped your su*cide attempt, how you’d met Loki and Sylvie, how you’d followed them around until they got so used to you they started to like you, how you’d met Jr, of course, Kid Loki seemed familiar that day at the museum, and Pops and Lokigator. "This is a fantasy,” you whispered to yourself.
I’m on a fantasy. That’s why everything is so perfect. This whole month has been a stupid dream Miss Minutes dragged me into without my permission. Your nails were digging onto your hands from rage without you even noticing. "How the hell do I get out of this stupid dream?" You looked through the book, slipping through the pages trying to find an answer, but it was useless. You went online then, how to wake up from a dream, even though most of what you got was wake up from a nightmare, you tried everything, from reading a book to blinking really fast, but nothing seemed to be working. That’s when the idea hit you. Falling. Falling was the method that your brain used to wake you really fast, in case there was something wrong in the real world. You had to fall. Leaving everything behind you walked to the top of the building, and took several deep breaths as you looked down the 18 floors below.
"What are you doing (Y/N)," Asked your boyfriend from behind, with concern.
You turned to him with a fake smile "just admiring the skyline."
He didn’t seem to believe you "we’ve been here before," he told you "please tell me you’re not thinking about that again."
Oh, so he knew.
"Obviously not," you lied again "I was just feeling a little trapped in the apartment and decided to come here to cool down," you said as you approached him. He’d pulled you closer as soon as he had the time and hugged you tightly. It felt warm like he always did. Was it really all an illusion?
Of course, it was. You tried to move out of the hug but he wouldn’t let you out of his embrace. He was evidently worried about your well-being, but it was still a lie. You gulped and moved your hand up to his face, rubbing his cheeks as soft as possible. And then leaned in to kiss him. A real kiss, not like the ones you’d been giving each other the last month, one that took him so off guard that he let his embrace falter for just a second. And you took the chance, you ran to the ledge and jumped. The fall was almost in slow motion, and you dropped over the hard pavement. You could feel blood slipping from your head and wetting all around you, that and the pain, god the pain was crippling. At some point, you saw his deep blue eyes again.
"Why would you?" He asked, feeling betrayed as he saw you almost dead on the pavement.
"It was all a fantasy.” You said, “I have to get back to the real world."
He denied with his head, almost as if he knew, and looked at you with sad eyes "perhaps it was all a fantasy (Y/N), but what we had was real."
"What?" You asked confused, barely managing to get the sound out, you could feel your organs collapsing.
"Fantasy or real, I loved you (Y/N)."
Next thing you knew, you were gasping for air, big black and gold ceiling towering over you and another set of blue eyes looking at you with concern. "She’s awake." He said.
Sylvie leaned closer and looked at you with concern "I tried getting you out, sent clue after clue but, I just couldn’t get a grasp of you directly."
A tear dropped, unintentionally from your eye. Loki reached for your face but you quickly cleaned the tear yourself and smiled. A fake smile but a smile non the less.
"Are you all right?" Loki asked.
You nodded, "Like a newborn puppy," you lied, tho he didn’t seem convinced, it was not because of the tone you’d used, but because he almost knew what you’d gone through. Sylvie stood up, angry at you for not trusting them with your feelings, and after not knowing what to do with hers she just got pissed "come on," she said.
"Sylvie waits a minute, she barely came back."
Came back? from the dream he meant? Right?
"She said she’s fine, we’ve got things to do." She spits out, the air was tense all around. Loki seemed exasperated but said nothing, he knew how important this moment was for Sylvie, but he also imagined the awful experience you’d gone through in your dreams and he wished Sylvie was a bit more comprehensive. You started incorporating, first sitting down. "Are you sure about this?" He asked.
"What? Of course Loki that’s what we came here for, come on," you said, he’d already stood up and extended his hand to help you fully stand. You took them gladly, as you managed to stand he still held your hand with care, keeping you grounded, so you wouldn’t fall. These hands felt right.
As soon as that thought passed through your head you quickly let his hand go. He still looked at you with concern "are you sure you can walk?"
"I was just sleeping Loki, is not like I fell off a building," you shivered as the memory came back. But shrugged it off and walked behind Sylvie.
"Come on," you told him with a smile, now having changed your demeanour completely as if you hadn’t just woken up from what felt like months to you, this whole time travel adventure was really fucking up your sense of time.
"So we’re looking for He who remains," you said as you walked alongside them, they had drawn their weapons again, and even if you thought a dagger wouldn’t do much against a supreme universe being that had control over all of the time, you still drew the green and gold dagger Jr had gifted you after the second time you’d saved his ass.
"Not for much longer," added Sylvie.
You snorted, Sylvie gave you a look. "I’m sorry," you mouthed.
A hall like stood in front of the three of you, with four stands for statues but one of them broken on the floor. Loki dragged his fingers over the side of one statue, it had some accumulated dust "Are we sure he’s even still alive?"
"If he is, he’s not really good at castle keeping, is he?" You said kicking one of the pieces of the broken statue to the side.
The clocking sound came from the center of the room, and a door opened in an elevator-like manner, the three of you stood close with your weapons drawn, while an ever so comfortable man sat in the center with an apple in his hand. "This is wild," he chuckled as he stood up. "The two of you," he chuckled again "are the same person… I mean, it’s a little unnatural but…" he looked at them for a second "Woah, wild," he then turned to you "and of course, the lovable sidekick."
You frowned "I’m not a sidekick!" You complained, perhaps a companion, but definitely not a sidekick. He took a bite of his apple.
Sylvie ignores your exchange "He who remains."
"He who remains," the man repeated, "she still calls me that?" He chuckled, talking in between bites "creepy right?" You nodded agreeing "but I like it."
The three of you just stared at him.
"Come on, come on guys," he motioned for you to get closer. "Let’s talk in my office."The three of you looked at him untrustingly, but eventually followed him to the elevator, placing yourselves behind him "not what you expected, hmm?"
"You’re…" Loki started "just a man."
"Mhm," he agreed "flesh and blood." He sniffled "don’t tell Ed me I’m a disappointment".
"No," said Sylvie "just easier to kill," she said as she threw a swing towards him, but he disappeared and reappeared half laying on the chair behind the three of you, laughing. Sylvie tried with another swing and he changes his place again. Right before disappearing completely, a few seconds later the door opened and he appeared in his office with a smile.
"Come on in," he motioned you to enter, as you did he walked towards his desk and started serving teacups. "Right, I still need one more chair," he said clicking his hand and pulled one chair from the side towards the Center with a snap of his fingers. "Please sit". He grabbed two cups and placed one on each of the chairs that had been there already "Loki." He said looking at Loki, "Loki," he reacted now turning to Sylvie. "Two sugars," he said then. "You like it with milk, don’t you?" he asked you. You frowned but nodded, he handed you the cup of tea. He then went back to sit, behind his desk.
You looked at the tea, and placed it on the side of the chair without even giving it a sip.
"Is there something wrong with it?" He asked cooing his head slightly.
"It could be poisoned."
"Do you not trust anyone?"
"I've been hanging out with Lokis this past," you thought about it for a second "however long it has been since I got kidnapped by the TVA, of course, I don’t trust anyone, especially you."
"Of course you don’t," he smiled "but we’d get back to the subject later," he said before turning to give a semi-long look to Loki, then Sylvie and ultimately to you. "We have a lot to talk about." The two of them looked at him expectantly. "Been a long journey for you hasn’t it?" You only looked at him angrily "a lot of running, lot of pain," he looked straight at you "and you, only a flea on the back of two dragons. Unwillingly signing up for one hell of a ride that day in your apartment. But you did manage to hang on. The one thing that didn’t quite fit in the narrative, did it? Like you weren’t supposed to be here. But I guess being able to keep up with the two Loki’s must count for something…"
"I’m not sure you quite understand the situation," Loki cut him off defensively. Was he trying to stop him from targeting you with all his talking? "You’ve lost".
"We found you," added Sylvie.
"Duh. Of course, you did." He said as if it was meant to happen. Sylvie, pissed, threw a swing at him, but he disappeared and appeared on the top of his chair. "Swing and miss," he mocked. Sylvie growled angrily "we’re still doing that, hmm?" She stared at him defensively and he took a deep breath "let’s get this out of the way, okay? Here we go: you can’t kill me because I already know what’s going to happen. See?"
"It’s a parlour trick," argued Loki.
"Okay, but done you wonder how I’m able to get out of the way just before you kill me?"
"No," replied Sylvie in a smart as stone that fitted her like a glove, in a good way, obviously "it’s because of that little TemPad you have there," she said pointing to his wrist. To you, it looked like a vintage Apple Watch but I guess a tiny tempad was also a good description of it.
"Right," he who remains acknowledged "but how do I already have it loaded up with everything I need to know to keep from being killed by the two of you," you noticed he said the two of you, excluding you from the list of people trying to kill him for whatever reason "it’s easy, I know it all." Loki scoffed but he kept going "and I’ve seen it all. Everything you guys did in Laminitis," he pointed at the three of you "I saw that. All the stuff the TVA didn’t know about, I knew "all the scheming, all the…" he made a tsk sound with his tong "talking. That special little moment bu the lake. Quite sentimental, very touching stuff, bu the way-"
"-no." Loki interrupted "no, we broke out of your little game. That how we got here."
"No, wrong." The man corrected him "every step you took to get here, Laminitis, The void, I paved the road." He made a little human figure with his hands. "You… all you did was walk down it. And I have the rest…" he looked around in his desk "right here." He placed a bunch of papers on top of his desk "everything that’s going to happen, there’s only one way this can go."
Loki took a look at the papers, he didn’t see your name on any of them "why isn’t (Y/N) here?"
"Oh, actually she wasn’t on any of the papers, she’s umm, an abnormality," he added, "but she’s so unthreatening I allowed her to stay as you, personal support human or whatever you call her."
Personal support human? Is he freaking serious? You thought. "Doesn’t that mean I can do whatever the hell I want and you wouldn’t be able to predict it?"
"I mean, you could, but I’ve seen all of your life, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to harm me."
"Bullshit," you mumbled but decided to stay silent if a moment to process things.
"If everything was planned, why are we here?"
He gave Loki a look "Come on… you know you can’t get to the end until you’ve been changed by the journey." He said and then made emphasis with his hands "this stuff, it needs to happen. To get us all I. The right mindset to finish the quest."
"The quest? What’s this a video game?" You asked angrily. He ignored you and turned to Sylvie, who had called it a game.
"It’s a… it’s just a manipulation tactic.
He who remains, or dickhead, as you decide to call him after all that’d happened instantly turned to a Loki, pointing at him with his finger "interesting that your mind would go there. Sylvie, think you can trust this guy?" He asked her raising his eyebrows "hey, I toile you we’d get back to the subject later." He said then placed with himself.
"Don’t listen to him," Loki retorted.
"Don’t listen to him," he who remains mocked "Do you think you’re even capable of trusting anyone at all?" He asked, "you barely even trust your personal support human."
"I’m not that," you bit back angrily.
"Right, sorry." He said dismissively "look, I understand your moral your moral objections to what the TVA does. And I agree: my methods ARE deceptive. But the mission," he emphasized that last bit, "never was. Without me, without the TVA… everything burns."
"Who are you so scared of?" You asked, still glaring at him.
"And just who are you?" Asked Loki.
He who remains smiled "well, I’ve been dubbed many names by many people: A ruler, a conqueror," he giggled "he who remains, a jerk."
"Las ones accurate." You said leaning back on your chair and looking at him expectantly, you had already had enough with his condescending way of talking to you.
He just shot you a disagreeable look and continued "but… as I was saying, it’s not a simple as a name." He pressed a little button on his Apple Watch like TemPad and started what you would describe as a 3D PowerPoint presentation. It was neat, but that didn’t make you dislike him any less "Eons ago before the TVA variant of myself lived on Earth in the 31sr century. He was a scientist and he discovered that there were universes stacked on top of his own," the PowerPoint presentation changed as he explained on "at the same time, other versions of us were learning the same thing. Naturally, they made contact. And for a while, there was peace. A narcissistic, self-congratulatory peace," he said as he gave dialogue to his little figurines. "They shared technology and knowledge, using the best of their universes to improve others. However… not every version of me was so…" he debated for a second "pure of heart." He concluded. "To some of us, new worlds meant only one thing, new lands to be conquered. The peace between realities," he said as he imitated an explosion "erupt4d into an all-our-war, each variant fighting to preserve their universe and annihilate others. That… was almost the end," he chucked.
"And then the Time-Keepers came along and saved us all," you interrupted "we all saw the introductory video with miss minutes."
He places his hands in a prayer form and mouthed "amen." But he quickly changed his demeanour "no" he chuckled "of course not. You see, that," he pointed at you "is where we diverge from the dogma. The first variant," he pointed at himself "encountered a creature created from all the tears in reality, capable of consuming time and space. A creature… you all know."
"Alioth," Loki concluded.
"Bingo!" He said with a smile, "anyway, weaponized Alioth and I ended the multiverse war," he explained feeling quite proud of himself. "Once I isolated our timeline, all I had to do was manage the flow of time and prevent any further branches." He paused for a moment "hence the TVA." he stood up on top of his chair, "Hence, the timekeepers and a highly efficient bureaucracy." He placed one of his feet on top of his desk. "Hence, ages… and aged of cosmic harmony." He placed his other feet on the desk, standing completely on top of it and then leaning towards the three of you "Hence… you’re welcome." He smiled. He stood straight again and started going to back to take a seat "You came here to kill the devil, right?" He chuckled. "Well guess what? I’m the one that keeps you safe. And if you think [I’m evil,] just wait till you meet my variants." He smiled again and then excitedly said "and that’s the gambit." He lowered his voice to a regular tone again "stifling order or cataclysmic chaos." He chuckled again and then he smiled "you may hate the dictator, but something… far worse is gonna fill that void if you depose of him." He then gave a look to each of you. "I’ve lived a million lifetimes, I’ve gone through every scenario. This is the only way. The TVA works."
"Or… you’re just a liar," Sylvie added skeptically.
"Or I’m a liar." He agreed.
"So you just… continued to prune innocent timelines?" Loki asked, he seemed a bit more convinced, you sensed.
"Mmmm…" he seemed to think about it for a second "you two Loki’s would." He said pointing at the two of them, leaving you out of it, again. "There are two options! One, you kill me and destroy all this," he motioned to his surroundings "so you don’t just have one devil, you have an infinite amount of you… you can run the thing. Yes! She can even help." He said, pointing at you so he said that last phrase.
"You’re lying." Said Sylvie.
"Why would you give up being in control?" Loki asked, leaning closer to him in his chair.
He who remains sighed "Buddy… I’m tired. And I’m older. I’m older than I look. And this game, this game is got the young and the hungry. I’ve gone through a lot of scenarios… trying to find the right person to take this spot. It turned out that person came in two." He exhaled "it’s defiantly you two."
"So… no more lies," he continued. "You kill me and the Sacred Timeline is completely exposed."
"Multiverses War," you mumbled.
"Or… you take over and return to the TVA as its benevolent rulers. Tell the workforce who they are and why they do what they do."
"You treated real people’s lives like so,e kind of game." Complained Sylvie.
"It’s not personal, it’s practical."
"It was personal to me." She bit back pissed.
He groaned exasperatedly "GROW UP! GROW UP SYLVIE. MURDERER! HYPOCRITE!" He cooled down again and continued talking "we’ve all done horrible, terrible, horrific things. Well maybe except for her…" he distractedly pointed at you "But now, we… you… have the chance to do them for a good reason." A distant sound stopped him from continuing his talk. "We just crossed the threshold," the sound was even louder "oh." He said excitedly, a smile plastered on his face. "So… I fibbed. I fibbed earlier when I said I know how everything’s going to go… I… I know, well I knew" he chuckled "absolutely everything, well except for the mystery over there" he pointed at you "everything up to a certain point. And that point was about… seven, eight, nine? Ten seconds ago. But now, now I have no idea how the rest of this is going to go." He exhaled deeply.
"So, that’s it?" You asked.
"That’s it?" He repeated looking straight at you.
"This is what happens at the end of time?" Asked Sylvie.
"And now," intervened Loki "you’re just gonna sit there with all that freedom and… let us decide your fate?"
"Yes!" He replied excitedly, "yes! What’s the worst that can happen? You either take over and my life world continued of you plunge a blade in my chest and an infinite amount of me start another Multiversal War. And I… just end up right back here anyways," he chuckled. "Reincarnation baby."
"No." Sylvie denied with his head "it’s just another lie. The other manipulation."
"No lie. No manipulation." He who remains added. He took off his Apple watch TemPad and placed it right in front of the table, where either of you could easily grab it. "I love this… all this honesty." He took in a deep breath "feels like a fresh start." Sylvie launched herself straight to kill him but Loki stopped her.
"What are you doing?" She asked annoyed.
You stood up defensively now, looking at the two of them, standing almost in the middle. "Hang on a moment," Loki told her. "Let’s just talk about it."
"Well, how about we finish what we started and kill him?" She asked annoyed at him.
Loki grants I’m responsible. "What if he’s telling the truth."
"So what?"
"I believe him."
"Not to side with Loki or anything, but I believe what the jerk said as well." You added.
She scoffed "of course you would, you’re telling me that you believe that a bazillion boogeyman will turn up just because we give people free will?" She stopped for a minute "he’s a liar!"
"So am I…" Loki said clenching his jaw "And I don’t think he was lying, not about that."
"Sylvie, I agree it sounds completely insane…" and you tried choosing your words carefully, the last thing you wanted was for her to feel alone again "but maybe…. Perhaps he was telling the truth, is the risk worth taking?" You attempted to reason.
"Better hurry." He who remains intervened "Timeline’s branching," he sing sang. You shot him a warning look.
"What are you suggesting?" She asked, annoyance laced in her words.
"That we think about it," Loki replied.
"And what precisely is there to think about?" She asked still annoyed.
"Weren't you listening to what he was saying?" Loki asked incredulously "That's the gambit. Remove the dictator and what fills the void?"
"Ah. So, you want the throne?"
You shrugged, you really didn’t think Loki would want that, at least not this Loki, at this point in time. Not your Loki.
"No, that's not it. No." He reassured her, confirming what you thought off at first.
"I don't believe you," she replied, sounding betrayed.
"Sylvie, the universe is in the balance, everything we know to be true. Everything. I know the TVA has hurt us all. But what if by taking him out, we risk unleashing something even worse?" You said approaching her, gently placing your hand on her forearm.
"All we’re suggesting is we just take a minute to think about it." Loki continued "I promise you from my heart this isn't about a throne."
"What was I thinking trusting you?, you’re a Loki, after all," she sighed "Has this whole thing been a con? Are you in this with him?" She asked turning to you and pulling her arm from your grasp "are you even a real person or just a toy Loki likes to have around?"
"Really? That's what you think of me... after all this time?" Loki asked, now he felt betrayed. And you sure you did as well, a toy? Weren’t you enough of a person for her to see?
"Sure. Why not? Evil Loki's master plan comes together."
"Well, you never trusted me, did you?" He asks, sadness almost slipping through his words.
"What was the point?" She sighed. Loki frowned "Can't you see? This is bigger than our experience," he said.
"Why aren't we seeing this the same way?" She asked frowning.
"Because you can't trust... and I can't be trusted." Loki acknowledged.
"Then I guess we're in a pickle."
You stepped right in between the two of them "Sylvie wait." You told her, looking straight into her eyes, "you can’t trust him, but you can trust me. I’m not a Loki, there are no lies, no scheming behind me," you breathed heavily, your eyes starting to well up with tears "all I wanted to do before meeting the two of you were dying, but not anymore, you changed me, Sylvie, for the better. I want to live, and I want to live in a world where I’m not scared of the next Thanos coming and trying to while our half of humanity," you reached out for her hands, "I want to live in a world where I am saved, where we are all saved, and together." Her hands gripped tightly into yours, looking at you with a pained expression on her face, a tear escaped her eye as she said "I’m sorry." No more than a second after that, you flew across the room, knocking your back on the wall and plopping on the floor, barely able to catch your breath. You must have broken a rib or something because the pain was agonizing. "Auch," mouthed he who remains from his desk.
"What the fuck Sylvie?" Loki asked pissed, looking at you struggling on the floor and then back at her.
"She has no right to interfere in this."
"She’s our friend!" Loki argued.
"I don’t have friends," she replied, sending a strike towards Loki, which he blocked. They started fighting, at some point she shoots a bolt of magic towards him and he ended up on the floor, you were still trying to recover, using the spell that Pops had taught you for situations like this, but you weren’t nearly as versed in magic as the two of them were, and the spell would take longer for you to make, as much as you wanted to help. You. Were. Useless. Meanwhile, Sylvie started running towards he who remains but Loki stopped her with something he threw towards her with magic, giving him enough time to walk up to her and stop one of her blows with his blade. She pushed him towards the desk but he recovered quickly, trying to reason with her again "Sylvie, Sylvie."
"Listen to him." You managed to cry out, groaning right after when the pain came back.
"Maybe he’s lying!" Loki spoke "Maybe he’s not. The cost of getting this wrong is too great."
She changed the blades, pulling Loki’s to her throat "Fine. Do it. Kill me. Take your throne," she spit out angrily.
"No," he said almost in a whisper. Neither of you wanted her to hurt any longer. She pushed him back and they started fighting again, with another shot of green magic she stopped Loki and ran straight to him who remains, but Loki appeared right in front of her at the right moment, the blade was now to his throat "Sylvie stop." He said as he forced her to walk back a little. "Stop. I've been where you are. I've felt what you feel. Don't ask me how I know. All I know... is I don't wanna hurt you. I don't want a throne. I just..." he sighed "I just want you to be okay." Sylvie dropped her sword, and looked at Loki straight in the eyes, and then he brought him in for a kiss. You were shocked, but as she started spinning the two of them you realized what she was doing. Barely able to walk you somehow managed to sprint towards the two of them, the pain in your torso almost dragging you down with every stride. But by the time you’d arrived, she already had the Apple watch TemPad in her hands.
"Sylvie don’t!" You cried, she looked at you only for a second, as you walked beside Loki. "You don’t have to do this." Her determination seemed to falter for a moment, she realized you were real, but she wasn’t going to allow her feelings, for you or for anyone to stop her from finishing what she started. Faster than anything she pushed you back into a Time Door. The blow being harder on you than on Loki it made you knock your back on a wall, again. Causing another cry of pain to come out of your mouth. Meanwhile, Loki stood and ran to the time door again, only for it to be closed seconds after.
A tear scaled your eyes as you saw him looking at the empty space, after being betrayed and hurt, by non-other than himself. But he quickly composed and ran towards you, breaking down again as he saw how badly you looked. "(Y/N)?" He asked concerned.
You ignored your pain and placed your hands on either side of his face "I’m sorry we could do anything," you told him, looking straight into his eyes "I’m sorry we couldn’t help her, or the universe or whatever…" you coughed. You knew you were in danger, so you let go of his face and brought your hands back to your side, a faint yellow glow coming from them as you tried to heal yourself. "Hey," he said holding you carefully, carrying you to a wall, "let me help you, all right? We’ll get this sorted out, and then find Mobius and then we’ll fix everything." He said reassuringly. He carefully took your hands from your ribs and placed his, a stronger glow emanating from his as he used his green magic to heal you. "It’ll be quicker if I do it." You nodded, placing your head to the wall, wincing as his magic rearranged your insides. "You broke a rib."
"Yeah, I figured." You told him.
"Why aren’t you screaming out in pain?"
"It’s… not that bad."
"That’s a lie."
You shrugged "I used a spell to reduce the pain, instead of a healing one back there, I needed to get up quick."
"Are you stupid? That could’ve killed you?"
"Yeah well, I wanted to save everyone…"
He shrugged and squeezed your hand, as he continued healing you. About ten minutes before, you felt a lot better "I’ve fixed your ribs and the most dangerous stuff, you’ll have a massive bruise but, I think you can move safely now." You smiled and quickly stood up. Losing balance not long after, he helped you steady yourself and smiled as you cursed to yourself. After no longer than a second of being close to him, and noticing, involuntarily his lips, you stood back again, standing straight and fixing your clothes. "Let’s find him." The two of you ran through the TVA, seeing all the TimeMen mobilizing quickly through the halls. You ran through the library until you spotted Mobius and Agent B-15 talking.
"That's, what, 63 new branches in this unit alone?" Mobius said.
"Does he want us to just let them all branch?" She asked.
"At this point, how are we gonna stop it?" He asked.
"We can't!" Loki screamed to get his attention.
"What?" Mobius asked as the two of you approached him "What'd you say?"
"It's done, Mobius," Loki said.
"We made a terrible mistake." You said then.
"We freed the Timeline. We found him beyond the storm. A Citadel at the End of Time." Loki explained.
"He's terrifying." You continued "He planned everything. He's seen everything. He knows everything. It's complicated. Okay?"
"Right." Mobius tried to reassure you but Loki continued talking.
"Someone is coming. Countless different versions of a very dangerous person. And they're all set on war. We need to prepare."
"Take it easy." Mobius reassured the two of you "You're analysts, right?" You frowned "What division are you from?"
"What? What are you talking about?" Loki asked concerned, by now you realize what happened, you’d seen enough time travel movies to figure it out.
"Who are you? What are your names?" Mobius asked.
"Boots on the ground now. Archives." Agent B-15 said through a walkie.
"Who are you?" Mobius asked again.
Loki turned to you. You looked him straight in the eyes and denied with your head, telling him, with a look, that that Mobius there, that wasn’t your Mobius. And then you saw it, behind him, the statues had also changed, and you pulled him towards the baranda, pointing towards the statue. No more space lizards, it was just one big He who remains. "What do we do now?" He asked you, almost in a whisper.
You looked back on the situation behind you, Mobius seemed to have called for backup. You reached for Loki’s hand and squeezed it tightly, keeping it safely in yours. In case he decide to jump off of the damn edge or something a Loki would do "Run?" You asked, taking a guess.
A/N: So…. That’s the end, for now. Depending on how things go, I might continue this fun followe along series when season 2 comes out. It’s the most fun for me to write it. So if you’d be interested let me know, we can continue this fun adventure together later on. I adore reading comments, so it would be amazing if you left one :D
Master list: @mysupernaturaljournal @zizzlekwum @thedoubleexposurephotography @staticspouse @maithuuppili @parkerliciouspeter @catlover092402152 @y-napotat @meowiemari @chaoticevilbakugo @its-not-too-late-for-coffee
You can read more of Loki here. And support me on my Ko-Fi here.
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folkloreguk · 2 years
❥ My Sweet Evil Heart (C.Chanhee)
A/N: I wrote this as part of an angel/demon collab for The Boyz! You can find the masterlist HERE. This was really fun to write and I got to live out my alternate universe dream in which I'm a detective...I hope you like it, I'm always welcome to any form of feedback!
genre: demon!Chanhee, detective!reader, angst, fluff, reader is constantly sleep deprived, Chanhee is the sweetest demon ever
synopsis: You, a highly respected detective in your department, are investigating a case of a very strange demon who seems hesitant to do evil...but can you trust someone who is supposed to be the personification of wickedness?
words: ~ 10.6k
Have you ever met someone deeply unhappy? Someone who seems to, at all times, be fighting a war inside of themselves? Have you ever felt empathy for somebody, even though they tested you, over and over, as if the worst part inside of them was trying to make them lose you on purpose? Did you hold on and never stop believing in them? Or did you say something to drive them away, making them think they would only hurt you in the process of you trying to make them see clearer?
This is the story of a demon, whose every cell demurred at his evil nature. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves and start with the basics.
Being one of the head detectives at the local police station was not an easy-going, nor an amusing job. Whilst working on serious cases, lacking proper sleep was not an uncommon occurrence for you, and in some instances, self-care came up short until the mystery had been solved and the guilty ones were locked away. Every case pulled you in and swallowed you whole, keeping you deeply invested for days and nights until your brain felt like it had turned to mush and your body worked on autopilot, until you functioned a little like a highly intelligent zombie. And yet, you couldn’t imagine yourself doing anything else in your life. The thrill was close to an obsession, and seeing justice being served thanks to your work was more addicting than any drug could ever be to you.
Most crimes in your world were committed by demons, of course. They were your worst enemies, the monsters you saw in your nightmares and the reason you never strolled down a street without a gun by your hip. It wasn’t forbidden for them to walk the earth, so long as they kept to themselves. Their evil nature made it almost impossible for them to uphold these terms, though. You wished you could lock them all away in some putrid prison cell, or better yet, send them back to where they crawled out from originally. But the law couldn’t convict beings before they had done anything wrong. So, it was on you to make sure you kept an eye on the sinister beings, figure out what they were up to and stop them before they could actually hurt somebody. Like that morning, when you were called to a liquor store to investigate a break-in.
“My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N, I am the lead investigator,” you greeted the store owner with a handshake upon arrival. “Can you tell me exactly what happened?”
“I came here this morning at around 7 to open up the store. When I got out of my car, I saw the broken glass of the window,” he explained.
“What was taken from inside the store?” you inquired further.
“That’s the weird thing. Nothing is missing from inside,” he said.
“We might just be dealing with vandalism,” you thought out loud. “Do you have security cameras?”
He did, and so you went along with him to the back of the store. It was true, the interior of the shop seemed completely untouched. You suspected whoever had done this had never even intentioned on entering. There was a college campus not too far from the store, and you recalled countless times you had witnessed careless vandalism done by some intoxicated students during a Friday night. It was a very human-like crime. Demons weren’t known to do things by halves. Their crimes were usually the go-big-or-go-home-type of crimes. But then, when you watched the security footage, you were stunned.
At precisely 3:29 am, a dark figure appeared in front of the window. They lifted their arms, swinging a baseball bat against the glass. And against your speculation, they did climb through the hole in the window. With no mask or disguise whatsoever, the demon man looked right into the camera in the corner of the room. The abyss of darkness in his pitch black eyes was unmistakable. He looked around, as if he was debating on whether he should have done more, but then, to your utter confusion, spun around on his heel and climbed right back out the window.
You assured the store owner you would be looking into this case. With nothing left to do, you headed back to the police station. You had taken the security footage with you, and the moment you arrived in your office, you played it on your computer screen. Over and over - only puzzling you more, with each rerun you saw. You worried this might only be a warning. Not seldom had you been a witness to demons playing with their prey, feeding off the fear of innocent souls. Was this one indulging in one of those little twisted games? Right away, you uploaded the demon’s face onto the database for criminals, even if vandalism didn’t compare to the serious allegations that stood against other faces on that list. While you turned your attention to other cases, his features wouldn’t leave your mind. Even when you left your office at night, he was still the most prominent person in your memory.
By the time you began your walk to your home, the sun had disappeared. You couldn’t help it, even if technically you could finish work earlier, your desire to solve your assigned cases was always higher. Had you just walked home at 5 pm, you were sure to end up on your computer at home, researching and digging around on the web to discover possible clues. This way, at least you had all resources you would need at your office at the police station.
Now, in the dark, the streets were rather abandoned, most shops had already closed, and the moon dimly cast light through the clouds. Those conditions were what made it a breeze for you to notice your shadow. The figure had been following you for 5 minutes now. Judging by how carelessly loud their steps sounded and by their not-so subtle choices of hiding spots, you could tell this wasn’t something they had practice in. Purposely, you didn’t turn around, so they wouldn’t realize you had caught on to them a while ago. Instead, only a minute or so from your home, you took a turn left into an abandoned alleyway. Your hand was on the gun in your belt.
Just as you had stepped into the alley, you turned. He was right behind you. With dark orbs glaring and teeth snarling he came at you, knife in hand. Your eyes widened – you recalled his face vividly – as you took in the situation in the blink of an eye. After all, you had watched the security tape of him breaking into the liquor store countless times only hours ago. But you had the upper hand from the very moment you had spun around. His build wasn’t particularly strong, but you knew you should never underestimate demons. You grabbed his shoulders and along with him, your body crashed against the red brick wall to your left. He struggled against your grip, but his determined and feisty expression was the by far the most intimidating part about him. His face was inches from yours but looking into the sort of darkness that were demon’s eyes did nothing to you. Your hand was around his wrist with the knife – which he was aggressively trying to bring down on you – but only at first.
Because suddenly, something uncommon occurred. So uncommon, in fact, that not a single cell in your body could believe it. He willingly dropped the blade. It hit the asphalt, the metallic sound echoing in your ears. He relaxed his arm in your iron grip. Demons never gave up. They fought until you had forcefully brought them to the ground or done worse to them. Their ironic god-complex and evilness didn’t allow them to step away from a fight – until this one had come along, apparently. And then, as if his behavior hadn’t already stunned you enough, he did the unthinkable.
“I’m sorry,” he said. Without a doubt you thought you had misheard him. Swiftly, you pulled your gun out of your belt and pointed it at his face. One thing you knew. You weren’t going to play along in his little games. In panic, he rose his hands, showing defeat.
“Quit playing games, devil’s son,” you hissed. “What is it you’re trying to achieve here? You’re sorry? For what?”
He was hesitant. With every second, your curiosity only grew. Either, he was a skilled actor or…you had no idea what else it could’ve been about him.
“I almost killed you. That’s what I’m sorry for,” he said. “Does that get me a prison sentence?”
Your eye twitched because this didn’t seem right at all.
“You broke into a shop and attacked me, but then stopped out of your free will,” you assessed the situation. “You’ll most likely get away with a fine and your name in our register.”
If you had been awaiting an evil grin or any sort of enjoyment in his face, you’d be waiting endlessly. If anything, he seemed to be…disappointed?
“But you’re a cop, right?” he said. “You can lock me up, can’t you?”
“Didn’t you hear what I said? You won’t be locked up if you don’t commit a crime severe enough. As much as I hate it, considering you demons are running free, it’s the law,” you said.
“You don’t get it,” he said. And he was right, you really had no idea. “I should be locked up. You need to get me to jail before I hurt somebody.”
His face was dead serious, but you didn’t want to believe a single word. How could you, when your daily life consisted of hunting down his kind, because all they brought upon the earth was chaos and death?
“Give me one good reason why I should believe you,” you said, unimpressed.
“I will tell you anything you want to hear,” he said. “If you bring me to a police station. You guys have these lie detectors, don’t you? I will take a test if that’s what it takes for you to believe me.”
So, that was how half an hour later you still hadn’t returned at home, but rather found yourself back at the police station. Almost everyone had gone home by now, so you took the liberty to choose the biggest interrogation room available. A few minutes and he was sitting in front of you, hands in handcuffs and his body connected to the lie detector.
“Okay, here’s how this works. I’ll start by asking some simple questions, and then we’ll get to the bottom of whatever your intentions are,” you explained.
“Alright. Go ahead,” he said. This was your first time seeing a demon take this sort of test. Usually, you couldn’t be bothered because you knew all they did was lie whilst smiling you in the face.
“What’s your name?”
“Choi Chanhee.”
“Where were you born?”
“In hell.”
“Did you break into a liquor store last night?”
“Did you intend on killing me tonight?”
“Is that your definite answer?”
“How come both of your last two answers are lies?” you asked. “You didn’t intend on killing me, but yes is your definite answer?”
“I can’t stop the evil in me but I’m trying,” he said. You were stunned. The answer was the most truthful of them all.
“What do you mean?” you asked.
“I was never like the others since I came to earth. I’ve never felt a rush like they do, causing mischief and hurting humans. I don’t belong. It’s as if there was a demon inside of me, but it’s not controlling all of me, do you understand?” he said.
“I’m not sure, but go on,” you said.
“I don’t want to hurt anybody or destroy things. But on some days, I’m walking down the street and my body starts following the devil’s orders instead. I usually snap out of it quickly and stop myself. That’s why you’re still alive,” he explained.
“You’re telling me you’re some sort of good demon?” you asked. “Why don’t you go back to hell, if you’re struggling so much on earth?”
“I hate it there,” he said. “And either way, I’m banned from there forever.”
Your head raised as you stared at him.
“Banned?” you asked.
“I stopped a bunch of demons from killing a woman once,” he said. “Safe to say they weren’t happy to hear that, back at home. I couldn’t go back, even if I wanted to.”
“Can you tell me the name of the woman?” you asked. And he did. All this time, he really had been telling the truth. When you searched up the woman’s name in the computer, it only confirmed your suspicion. She really had been under attack when an unidentified person had interrupted and saved her life.
“I can tell you names of demons,” he said. “If you do me the favor of locking me up, I can sell out everyone I know about.”
You massaged the sides of your head and sighed. This guy really was one of a kind.
“I already told you, I can’t put you in jail for something you didn’t do,” you said. “That’s against the law, and then it’ll be me who ends up behind bars instead of you. I’ll have to let you go.”
“What if I mess up?” he said. The amounts of firsts you were experiencing in the timespan of an hour were giving you a headache. Never had you felt compassion for a demon before. But you were only human, and when you noticed the genuine concern and insecurity in his soft voice, you couldn’t stop yourself.
“How long have you been on earth for?” you asked.
“I don’t know, a few years, I guess?” he said.
“And in those few years, which of your deeds would you rate the most criminal out of all?” you asked. Any other demon would have been able to give you multiple answers, one more vicious than the other. He, on the other hand, took his time and even when he answered, he didn’t sound at all sure.
“I’ve broken into a house before, destroyed a car window and one time I stole a dog,” he confessed with his head tilted towards the floor.
“What happened to the dog?”
“I…gave it back,” he said. A laughter erupted from your throat against your will. In a friendly manner, you pat his shoulder before retrieving the keys to his handcuffs.
“Trust me, you’ll be just fine out there,” you said. “Whatever it is you’re doing to stop yourself from being evil, it’s working. I will let you go now."
Even though he wasn’t happy with your answer, he knew he had no choice but to comply. As you walked him through the hallways towards the exit of the station, you could only think of one thing: your beloved bed. Not only your body but especially your brain was drained from energy. You desperately needed a refill by getting a good night’s sleep.
“You’re the first person who’s been really kind to me,” he said, as you held the door open for him. The night air was cool, and you quickly zipped up your jacket to your chin.
“You gave me no reason not to be,” you replied.
“I almost stabbed you,” he said, bluntly.
“For most people, me being a demon is reason enough to loathe me.”
“Well I guess I’m not most people,” you said. His smile was gentle, but his black eyes would always give him away. “I’ll be here at the station every day, if you have any concerns or need somebody to consult. But right now, all I want is my bed.”
“I understand,” he replied. “Thank you. Goodbye.”
“Good night,” you said, before you parted ways. Once more, you journeyed home. He remained on your mind until the moment you slipped off to dreamland that night.
The days passed without a trace of him. You followed your routine, but one thing you couldn’t help. You simply had to tell every person who worked with you about the changed demon you had met. No one really wanted to believe you. It was kind of understandable. Some thought you were testing their skills, seeing if they could figure out you were lying. Others went as far as to suspect your lack of sleep had given you hallucinations. But you didn’t let it go. And after all, you were a highly respected member of the police force. Some said they wanted to meet this demon gentleman, as they had renamed him.
But then you were called to a brand new homicide investigation and all of the jokes at the station were blown away by the intensity and buzz the case brought with it. You had a murder to solve. There was no place for sweet demon men in any part of your brain. Not for now. And as always, you slipped into old habits – staying up all night, living on coffee and quick meals – the toxic behavior was almost inescapable. Your fellow detectives tried their best to keep you healthy and most importantly, sane. They took you with them to get salad for lunch, invited you over for game nights (a futile attempt at giving you a break) and told you to go to sleep on time. After all, they needed your brain to function at full capacity for the case. You knew people were relying on your knowledge, and you weren’t doubting your capabilities. But a highly intelligent zombie was still a zombie. And so it happened that one Thursday night your boss sent you home. Not because you weren’t doing a good job – rather for of the opposite reason.
“You are allowed back at the station when you’ve caught a full night’s sleep. Do what it takes to take care of yourself,” your boss had said. Her tone displayed as much strictness as her eyes showed concern. Truth be told, you were too exhausted to even argue against her order. That’s when you knew. You really needed a rest. You dragged your body home.
“Hello sweetheart,” you greeted your pet bird, who chirped excitedly when you set foot into your apartment. “Guess what. I’m home early.”
As much as you wanted to drop into a slumber right away, your stomach growled. And you weren’t in the mood to wake up half-starved. As you prepared some left-overs from the fridge, you heard your bird call from the living room. “Peek-a-boo!” he sang. It caught your attention. He only played this game with you – when you were outside in your small garden and he was watching you through the window. So who exactly was he talking to, now?
You picked up a knife, because as a detective it was practically your job to be paranoid, and tiptoed into the living room. It would be harder for an intruder to spot you in the dark, so you pushed the light switch. Slowly, you advanced to the window and gently pulled the curtains aside. A shiver ran down your spine when you saw the figure standing between the trees. They didn’t seem to be hiding, if anything they were lazily resting their back against the garden fence. Maybe they weren’t aware you were watching them. Bold of them to assume they could intimidate you by acting so nonchalant. You cracked the window open slightly.
“If you don’t leave my property within the next ten seconds, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing,” you announced. The figure flinched. The moment he stepped into the moonlight and raised his arms, you remembered his face.
“Choi Chanhee?” You opened the terrasse door and stepped outside.
“Are you going to hurt me?” he asked, eyes glued to the knife in your hands. Quickly, you lowered your hand.
“What are you doing here?” you asked instead of answering his question.
“I didn’t know where else to go,” he admitted.
“And so you thought creeping around in a police woman’s backyard was an appropriate thing to do? Wait…have you been stalking me?” you asked. You should have cut back on the sharp tone, but you felt half-asleep and this was the last thing you needed. Plus, the immanent realization hit you, that you had not noticed him at all. You had been so caught up in your work that you had not recognized a demon lingering around your home address, watching you. It hurt your pride a little – and could have ended very differently, had it been a more malovent demon than the one standing in front of you. This one looked terrified, kneading his hands nervously.
“I thought you wouldn’t be upset with me…that maybe you would understand. Because you’ve been the only one who’s listened to me. I’m just trying to find a purpose,” he said, “And my head tells me you’re the right direction.”
Demons. They’ve always had a fondness for the dramatic. But his words tore at your heart strings. His behavior resembled a child who had done wrong and was in the process of being scolded.
“Do you have no home?” you asked, softening your voice.
“I’ve lived with other demons. But they don’t want me there, anymore,” he said. For obvious reasons, you thought. Your head was racing. There was no way you could leave him standing there in the cold. But letting a demon into your home sounded like you must have had a death wish. It’s not like you didn’t have enough space, though. With an extra guest bedroom that nobody had ever used before, he would be just fine. There was no excuse. You cursed your parents for making you get a bigger apartment “In case you got married and had children soon.” You never know what could happen, they had said. And how wrong they had been, but how right they had been on that last part.
“Would you say you’re a tidy person?” you asked. A gigantic yawn came over you, and once again your stomach grumbled.
“What? I mean…I think so?” he said.
“Are you hungry?” You were in disbelief. Maybe it was the zombie in you that had a heart so soft, it took pity on a demon.
“I’m starving,” he said.
And that was how you came to have dinner with a demon. Spoiler alert: It wouldn’t be the last time. You ate quietly, trying hard to fight tiredness but it was no use. Afterwards, you showed him the room he could stay in.
“How do I make this up to you?” he asked.
“We’ll think about that another time, alright?” you said, “I need to sleep now. I’ve got an unsolved murder case waiting on me tomorrow.”
That night, you locked your bedroom door and slept with your gun on your nightstand. Just in case. Even though you were almost fully convinced the demon in the bedroom across the hall was more harmless than a five-year-old, he was still a demon.
When you woke up and saw your boss’ message on your phone, you couldn’t believe it. She wanted you to stay at home for the day. Apparently, you needed the rest and she had no interest in getting into trouble for overworking you (which she obviously wasn’t, you were the one doing this to yourself). When you walked down the stairs, you had almost forgotten about the previous night. It felt a little like it had all just been one wild fever dream – that was, until you spotted the demon sitting on your sofa, your pet bird on his shoulder.
“I let him out, I hope that was okay,” he said. You were dumbfounded. “Listen, I just wanted to say…thank you. Tell me whatever you need me to do and I’ll get it done for you.”
You wanted to go to work. But you knew he would be no help making that possible. Your mind was already wandering off to your case, the tips of your fingers burning with anticipation to search the internet for clues. Your grumbling belly interrupted your eagerness.
“Um…you could go to the grocery store for me?” you asked.
You went back to work the next day. Unsure of what to do, you decided to keep your demon housemate a secret for now. The other detectives would have probably written you off as insane, and you needed them to take you seriously. To be fair, maybe you were a little crazy. But he had been really good on the first day. Only one incident, which involved him dropping an egg on the kitchen floor, stood out to you. Of course, that could happen to anyone. But any other person would not have apologized in the way that he did. Normal people wouldn’t have acted so guilty, had it been an accident. But as long as his malice remained to that extent, you could live with it. You almost laughed at the idea of him purposely watching the egg roll off the counter and not doing anything.
He sure was strange. But little did you know, his egg-dropping shananigans were only the beginning of his uncontrollable little pranks he would pull on you.
Once he let your bird fly out the window. When you came home you discovered him outside, talking to your bird, begging him to come back inside. Little did he know, all it took was a whistle and a few treats and you had him sitting on your shoulder, ready to go back inside. One night you returned home to find him staring at the ceiling in the dining room, a kitchen towel in his hand. When you asked him what he was trying to achieve there, he told you there was a mosquito sitting above him.
“So, why don’t you kill it?” you asked. He looked shocked.
“Kill it?” he asked, “We should probably just shoo it outside.”
That’s when you knew. Choi Chanhee wouldn’t hurt a fly. Literally. All those times you had worried about leaving him home alone with your bird vanished in an instant as you laughed.
“You’re right. Killing is one of the worst sins. But sometimes, especially when it comes to mosquitoes, you don’t need to worry about any consequences. If anything, I’ll be grateful,” you assured him.
Another instance made you think maybe you had been too quick to judge him as harmless. When you walked into your bathroom in the morning, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you almost jumped out of your skin. A red substance stuck to your mirror in what seemed to be random shapes. On impulse, you called his name. On second look, you realized what he had done. The red was merely ketchup, and the random shapes weren’t so random, but they spelled “meeting at 2 pm”. When Chanhee appeared in the doorframe, he already wore his sorry expression.
“What did you think you were doing here?” you said. “You know where the post-it notes are!”
“I- He- The demon in me wanted to scare you…I’m so sorry,” he said. It was difficult to be mad at him when he was so sweet. You had, after all, told him to remind you of your meeting you had that day. He was so easy to forgive, too. Whenever he went to buy groceries, he returned with a bouquet of flowers, and after he had figured out your favorite candy, he made sure you never ran out of your supply. You liked being alone, but suddenly it felt nice to have someone waiting for you at home. A warm sensation filled your heart whenever he asked you about your day during dinner.
Even if after dinner you had to argue with him as if he was your son, because the demon in him had decided to take on the form of a teenage boy who was too lazy to take out the trash. You were still seated at the table, rolling your eyes at the demon’s horrible attempt at being evil.
“Don’t make me ask you one more time,” you threatened him, although you didn’t know what you would have done had he continued to argue against you. Only when he reached for the knife that he had already put down tidily on his plate, your eyes widened. His knuckles were white around the metal and you leaned back instinctively. Your gun was still in your belt – you had sat down for dinner straight after returning home – but you didn’t want to use it. Not on him.
“Chanhee,” you spoke in a calm tone. His face was unreadable. He wasn’t making eye contact. Instead, his gaze was glued onto the blade in his hand, staring blankly. His eyes blinked, almost robotically. Something changed in his demeanor then. There was a tremble in the hand that was clutching the knife. It grew more uneasy by each passing moment. Your heart was pounding in your chest and you kept your eyes trained on him, trusting your reflexes.
“Fine,” he suddenly said in a grumpy tone. Then he dropped the knife. The metallic sound rang in your ears for seconds afterward. You let out the breath you didn’t know you had been holding on to, as you watched him get up and retrieve the full trash bag from under the sink. You had been sleeping with your bedroom door unlocked for weeks. Even though it pained you, that night you locked your door again.
At 3:28 am you awoke to the sound of breaking glass. You allowed yourself to yawn and rub the sleep out of your eyes for just a moment, then you were on your feet. Gun in hand, you opened your door. Across the hall, the door to Chanhee’s room stood ajar. Light came from downstairs.
“Chanhee?” you called quietly. No answer. But your ears picked up shuffling and the sound of shards of glass being moved around. You approached slowly, trying not to give yourself away. Then you heard the quiet sobs. Your arm with the gun dropped to your side when you stepped into the kitchen.
He was sitting on the floor like he was one of the shattered pieces of glass himself. When he saw you, he flinched and tried to dry away his tears. But it was no use. They kept coming, and you had already seen them either way.
“I dropped it on purpose,” he said, referring to the broken glass. Another sob went through his body, making your chest ache at the sight of him. “I’m sorry.”
“I have nine more of those. It’s alright,” you assured him. Gently, you sat down by his side. You put your arms around his hunched frame. He stiffened at first but calmed his muscles after a moment and let you hold him.
“Shh, it’s okay,” you said. Whatever it was that was hurting him so much, you’d be here to fight it off for him.
“I can’t stop the evil in me,” he cried. His weeps seeped through your skin and tugged at your organs. It felt like a thousand tiny, sharp needles in your heart.
“It’s a part of you. It’ll never fully go away. But look at you, you’re doing such a good job holding it inside of you,” you whispered. He shuddered.
“I tried to kill you,” he stated. “I don’t deserve you. You’re so kind. You do all this for me, and I tried to kill you.”
“But you didn’t,” you said. “And that’s what counts. We all have urges inside of us…but it’s what we end up doing that truly counts and makes us who we are.”
“But it’s so hard,” he cried. His face was in the crook of your neck as he sniffled. The small teardrops that touched your skin felt like ice. “And all I do is bother you. I’m an inconvenience. Why don’t you just lock me up with the other demons? Why give me another chance every time I mess up?”
You couldn’t believe he would hate himself so much. Chanhee had more compassion than a lot of the humans you knew had. Some days he sat and pet your bird for hours just because it made him happy, he always had money on him to give to the homeless people in front of the grocery store and he almost cried thinking he forgot to pay for an item at the store (which you had obviously paid for).
“How could you even compare yourself to other demons?” you said. “If you want, I will take you in to work with me sometime. Then you’ll see the atrocities others commit. Even among humans, you’d still be sorted into the best of the best. I believe in you and that you will do good.”
He only sobbed harder at what you had said, and you felt the need to pull him in just a little tighter. You softly rocked your bodies in an attempt to calm him down.
“I would fall apart without you.” Between the hiccups and tears his words sounded like a broken confession, but that’s why they hit so hard.
“You’re not alone in this. I’m here for you,” you whispered, lips right by his ear. Your hands were in his hair, stroking his head as if you could pour all your emotions into this one gesture. What else could you do to show him you would never abandon him the way his demon people had? And it seemed to do the trick. His fists that had been clutching your shirt loosened up and his sorrowful crying turned into mellow breathing on your skin.
“Aren’t you sleepy?” you asked. “Let’s get you back to sleep. Tomorrow things will be better.”
“I haven’t been able to sleep well for three days,” he said. “But I need to clean this up first.”
He let go of you and started to pick up shards of glass. There was still a haggard expression on him, and his cheeks were painted red and tear stained. And yet he was determined.
“Let me do this,” you said, touching his arm. “You can’t even keep your eyes open. Go to bed, Chanhee.”
This time, he didn’t argue. But his good behavior didn’t stop the apologetic, almost battered look at you. He knew you would be by his side no matter what – but what he needed most was his own forgiveness. And you could tell by the way he spoke about himself that it would take a while until he was ready to accept himself as he was.
You heard his heavy steps on the stairs as he walked to his room. Quickly, you gathered the biggest shards of glass and then used a hand brush to collect the tiny pieces. This wasn’t what you had signed up for when you had taken him in. You thought you’d have to argue with him daily and that you’d miss having your personal space and privacy. You knew it would be new, living with another person after living alone for so long. But nothing could have prepared you for the way Chanhee had swept you off your feet with his adorable charms. You didn’t need to fake excitement when you came home to him, nor did you ever have to force yourself to tell him about your day or have any conversation with him, for that matter. He was truly enchanting with the way he made you care so much. Especially when you had assumed all demons were your sworn enemies.
When you finally dragged your tired body upstairs, you softly pushed open the door to his room, only to see him lying wide awake.
“Can’t sleep?” you asked. “Even though you’re so exhausted?”
“No,” he spoke. Even his voice made no attempt at hiding the sleepiness. His look was pleading. “Can you please stay with me…just for a little while?”
There was no way you could say no to his lovely gaze and messy hair and outstretched arms. So, you crawled in next to him under the covers. Your faces were inches apart. The last time you had been looking into a demon’s eyes this close-up he had been lying face-up and dead on the side of a road. Those eyes had been lifeless, and yet you felt like they had still held so much ferociousness, even in death. Now you only saw concern and genuine care in the black orbs across from you. You admired his softly sculpted face. It was one that seemed like it would much rather belong to an angel.
“You’ve been working so much,” he whispered. “You must be much more tired than me.”
“I’m used to it,” you said, “I enjoy my work because I’m doing it to help others.”
“You’re a good person,” he stated. There was something in his voice you couldn’t make out. Regret? Admiration?Maybe it was both.
“So are you, Chanhee,” you said. Without second thought, you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his cheek. He didn’t flinch nor pull away. Instead, his pretty lips curled into a smile as he closed his eyes, ready to finally drift off to dreamland.
From that night on he seemed to improve a little, day by day. No more breaking things or having to argue about simple house chores. It occurred to you almost as if he had turned into something more human – so much that you dared to take him to work with you. People there had found the idea of your new demon friend strange, and you were sure some would take more than a little convincing to let down their guard around him. You couldn’t blame them for the prejudices – you had once been the same, after all. But Chanhee was okay with it, even when you had explained to him that some people might hate him, just because of his black eyes and what they meant to people. He had lived years of receiving that sort of treatment. Nonetheless, it pained you to think about how used he was to it. It took bravery and thick skin to walk into a police station the way he did that day. He was fascinated, looking behind the scenes. Perhaps you found it amusing how alarmed everyone was when they first laid eyes on him at the station. His ability to turn around their views of his species within twenty seconds or less was nothing but astonishing. He very willingly took it upon himself to walk down to the nearest coffee shop and order ten cups, also earning him the sympathy from the last few sceptics. When you were deep in conversation with another detective, discussing the possible whereabouts of a highly wanted demon, Chanhee suddenly interrupted you.
“I know an underground club where they like to go after…committing crimes,” he said. “Every demon in this city knows about it.”
At that moment you realized his full potential and what good he could really do. That was, if he was ready to sacrifice his people. But he just had – without even blinking. He could be an immense help to you.
“Young man I can see you have a bright future, should you ever decide to join the police force,” said your boss from across the room. Seemed like she had the same idea as you. Chanhee only smiled shyly but couldn’t hide the glint of pride in his eyes.
The following days you instantly made arrangements to get Chanhee an interview with the head of the station. He had been scared, at first.
“What if the other people there hate me?” he suspected.
“They might make assumptions about you in their heads, you know, because you’re a demon. They only know demons to be evil. But the moment they realize how good of a person you are, I promise they’ll change their mind,” you said. “You’ll be precious to us, and if you want to do good, the police is where you can be the most helpful. You’ll change lives, maybe even save people.”
“Yes, I want to help,” he said. “I’m done with my kind.”
“I’ll talk to my boss tomorrow,” you assured him. “If you’re too anxious to come in to the station, maybe she’ll allow you to work from home, from my office here. This is just a try, okay? If you really enjoy this work, you’ll have to learn and earn your badge.”
The way he looked at you filled you with so much pride. He seemed to have found some hope. Like he could finally spend his time in a productive and truly good manner. You couldn’t wait to see how he would do.
A tiring day and many discussions with higher-ups at workplace later, you returned at your home, late at always. Your fingers tingled with excitement and you wanted to yell for Chanhee the moment you walked through your door. You had managed to score an internship for him at your station. He was allowed to start as early as the following week. As you walked up the stairs, following the shuffling noise you heard, you imagined his face when you told him the news. You knew he’d be ecstatic. His smile would make you so happy, and you almost grinned at the mere thought of it. The noises were coming out of your office.
“Hi, Chanhee. Guess what my boss-,” you started. Then you fell speechless. Paper was scattered all over the floor. Drawers stood wide open. The orderly sorted piles of case files you had been working on were dispersed into every corner of the small room. Photos and pieces of paper were falling out of the folders. And in midst of it all stood Chanhee.
“Y/N- I’m so-,” he said, helpless.
“Don’t,” you said. Every ounce of excitement was gone from your voice, replaced by an ice cold tone you didn’t know you had in you. He flinched, but you couldn’t keep in what you had to say. “You’re impossible. I can’t fucking believe this! These are real cases, Chanhee! I’m trying to save real people here! This isn’t some broken mirror or a spilled cup of water. I can look past a shattered glass, but this is too much…I honestly thought you were getting better…”
Somewhere you knew you were being too harsh. But your job was your entire reason for existing. This was your life mission, laid out in front of you as if a hurricane had rampaged through the room. It would take days for you to rearrange the files. You weren’t even sure if you’d be able to find the correct places for each piece of paper.
“I’m sorry,” he said, voice cracking because he was about to cry.
“I don’t want to see you right now. Please get out. I need to clean this up and you can’t help me with this,” you said, trying hard not to scream out of frustration. Your eyes were already scanning the floor. You had no idea where to even start. With low-hanging shoulders and teary eyes that were threatening to spill over, Chanhee slipped past you. He granted you one more look before he scurried out of the office like a frightened animal.
Even though your stomach was grumbling from starvation and you could barely stay awake – as always – you needed to get some of the cleaning done. Now. Or you would go insane. Plus, you needed time away from Chanhee. While you collected the paper from every inch of the wooden floor, guilt slowly started to nag at you. You had never raised your voice at him to this extent. And he was sensitive. It wasn’t his fault, that’s what you always told him when he blamed himself for messing things up. He knew that. You cursed at yourself. How could you be so impulsive? All too well you knew how he felt about his demon half. You were supposed to be there for him, to tell him he was doing a good job and to make sure he didn’t beat himself up. Now you had achieved the complete opposite. A dull ache in your chest accompanied your hungry stomach.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. In a haze, you stepped down the stairs and to the door. You needed to apologize to Chanhee. When you opened the door, a delivery girl from your favorite restaurant stood there, handing you an order. You were puzzled.
“Already payed for,” she checked with a beaming smile, “Enjoy your meal!”
“Thank you,” you said, voice numb. Before you knew it, she had turned on her heel and was on the way back to the car.
“Chanhee! Your food is here,” you shouted, assuming he was the one who had made the order. You got no answer. When you set the bag down on the kitchen table, you saw a note, addressed to you.
Words can’t express how sorry I am about what I’ve done. All my life I only wanted someone to love me. In you, I thought I might have found what I had been searching for all this time. But I messed up. I always do. I drove you away from what we had. I’ve wondered why I always end up disappointing people. Now I know it’s because it’s the only thing I’m truly good at. You deserve someone you can trust blindly, someone who will walk through fire for you, someone who will take a bullet for you. I can’t give you that. I can’t even trust myself. Thank you for giving me a home and for being the most generous person I have ever met. You will always be in my sweet evil heart. Don’t worry about me too much. I will find my way and you will find yours. Who knows, our paths may cross again. I ordered your favorite food. I know you’re always starving when you get home from work. Enjoy it and don’t let it go cold. Make sure you get enough sleep tonight, and don’t forget to take your water bottle with you tomorrow, you left it here this morning.
I’ll hold you in my happiest thoughts forever,
You only snapped out of your motionless state when one single tear dropped down your cheek and onto the note. A heavy blanket of sorrow and regret sunk into your whole body. The emotions seeped through your skin and before you knew it, you were a sobbing mess on the kitchen floor. You wanted to take him in your arms and tell him you forgave him. Hell, you had forgiven him minutes after you had yelled at him. You should have gone to him then. Had you only apologized quickly enough, perhaps he’d still be here. Then he’d be eating dinner with you, and although you’d be frustrated, you both wouldn’t be alone.
Your tears fell into your food while you ate it, unable to control your sadness and frustration you had against yourself. They mixed with the shower water as you stood in silence under the hot stream, overthinking everything. Your pillow was wet from the crying as you struggled to fall asleep. Like a broken-hearted zombie you trudged across the hall and into his room. Chanhee’s covers still smelled like him and you hugged them tightly, as if you could hold a piece of him and bring him back that way. But there was nothing you could have done. He had left, and it was alone your fault.
The next day passed like a vivid fever dream. While you were sat in your meeting, you couldn’t possibly focus on the case your team was discussing. Instead, you pondered whether your makeup was able to conceal your puffy face and the dark circles under your eyes. If it was obvious, at least people didn’t seem to point it out. Maybe they were so used to seeing you tired that it would take a lot more than some tiredness and lack of concentration to arise concern. It was the first time in years you really wanted to go home after work. In fact, you couldn’t stand the laughter and good mood at the police station for one more second. All you wanted to do was scream and cry, and seeing people joke around without any idea about your feelings only intensified your desire. Of course, you could have confided in somebody. But you were afraid they would tell you Serves you right or I told you. You don’t think you’d be able to handle those blatant assumptions and the mocking.
Your plan for the night was set: You’d sit in the bathtub for half an hour, then you’d wrap yourself into a human burrito in a blanket and fill your brain with some brutal movie that would make your life seem like it was mere child’s play. But as most things in your life lately, nothing went as planned. Because after only five minutes in the hot tub, your phone rang on the other side of the room. The first time you ignored it. You really tried. But then it rang again, and you looked up to see the caller ID. It was your boss.
You groaned and quickly stood up, not giving up on the prospects of a peaceful night just yet. But then you heard her message – a break-in at a bank, one dead bank employee, five hostages, a possible shoot out. They were calling for back up. And when there was a chance to throw bad guys behind bars, the most inviting bath or an exciting movie suddenly turned dull.
Not fifteen minutes later you had jumped out the bath, gotten dressed in your uniform, taken your gun and ammunition, and were pulling up at the scene your boss had ordered you to. The bank was in the city center, close to the main square. The police team was stationed in a side street. Some of the team had already been sent to the front of the bank, where the police was attempting to make contact with the robbers.
“They’re holding four hostages in the back of the bank. One of them is at the front, right by the glass doors for us to see. The robbers have guns to their heads. If we come closer, they’ll shoot them,” your colleague informed you.
“Demons?” you asked. Against your will, Chanhee appeared in your mind. You wondered how he was doing. Was he hiding out in somebody else’s garden right now? Had he found a bed to sleep in? Then you quickly shook your head. This was not the time for heavy emotions of any kind.
“Yes. Five of them,” your colleague added. You huffed.
“What do they want us to do? Are they demanding anything?” you asked.
“They want us to let them leave with the money,” she said. You grinned bitterly and nodded.
“What about the back entrance?” you asked. You knew the layout of this bank and had been there multiple times in the past.
“That’s our route. Besides the one at the front, the other demons are inside the bank. The entrance isn’t guarded. A team of four will go to the back and try to sneak up on them. When we have a clear line of fire on all the robbers, we’ll take them out at the same time,” she explained.
“Alright,” you nodded, fixing your bulletproof vest around your upper body. You were ready for this. To others, missions like these would have been nerve-wrecking, and you would have been lying if you said you were completely calm. But the adrenaline was already rushing through your body, and fear was something you hadn’t felt since your very first operation.
“All ready?” your colleague asked the other two members of the team who would go into the bank. You received nods and professional expressions. You had all trained together and were used to functioning like one unit. Sticking close together, you rounded the bank, using a side street so the demons wouldn’t see you approaching. In your ear, the voice of your boss was giving orders and checking in on you. The street was dark and devoid of any life except for your team. Multiple of the surrounding streets had been evacuated and shut off to the public. The scene had something straight out of a heist movie. Except this time, the robbers weren’t going to pull of the perfect theft and get away. You would make sure of it.
“We’re almost there,” you said. “Twenty meters to the entrance. Awaiting permission to go inside.”
“You have permission,” your boss spoke over your earpiece. One last look at your teammates, and you were on the move. Sneaking inside soundlessly was easy. The backrooms were all empty. As you passed abandoned offices, you saw knocked over office equipment and paper scattered on the floors. Lamps had been left on and you heard the faint buzzing of a running computer that was most certainly unoccupied. Moving swiftly, you walked along the corridors, guns pointed ahead at all times. Your teamwork was untouchable. One of you made sure the path was clear, then the rest followed.
“You are one room away from the entry hall,” your boss said.
“Understood,” you answered and slowed down your steps. A cat wouldn’t have been able to walk more silently than you did. Now your ears picked up voices. Somebody was crying. There was shuffling of feet on marble.
“Shut up!” a male voice yelled. The crying faded out into muteness. In the dark, you could make out figures. A few countertops and a good distance separated you and your team from the demons and the hostages. You nodded to your colleagues and they understood. The four of you parted ways, moving into the room and taking shelter behind the bank counters. Once again, you checked the situation. Close to you, four hostages sat on the floor. A woman was still crying, and you could tell she was struggling to keep herself quiet. Around them, four demons stood, dressed in black. Their ski masks kept their faces hidden, but their body languages told you enough. They were not to be messed with. By the far entrance, the fifth demon was positioned with the remaining hostage, and you could spot the police cars outside in the town square. From behind your hiding spots, each of your teammates had a clear line of fire on the demons. The fifth one would be taken out from police outside the bank. You were just about to send a signal to your boss to let her know you were in position. Suddenly, the scraping of feet on the floor alarmed you.
“What was that?” one of the demons barked. The noise had come from your colleague beside you, who was now flinching. You had no time to think. No time to complain about her mistake. If you didn’t act now, they were going to close in on you.
You jumped up, pointing your gun at the closest demon. Right away, the remaining demons had their guns aimed at the hostages’ heads. Your colleagues had done as you, guns held towards the demons. Now you got a proper look at them. They were towering over the hostages, who were crouched on the floor in intimidation. The one in front of you only chuckled. Humans didn’t laugh like this. It was pure malice and recklessness displayed in front of you.
“I thought we told you to stay away,” he began. The only thing you could truly note about him was his mouth. The rest was covered by his mask and where the white of eyes should have been, two orbs of darkness sat, eying you like prey.
“Let the hostages go and we won’t shoot you,” you ordered, with a surprisingly calm voice.
“And why would we do that when we can just kill them?” he asked. His gaze momentarily focused on his fellow demons, as if he was a stand-up comedian and he had just delivered the funniest punch line.
“You will die if you harm even one of the hostages,” you stated.
“Oh, is that so? Humans never learn, do they?” he said. This monster was completely insane. And suicidal too, it seemed. “Go on, shoot.”
First, you thought he was urging your team to shoot. Then you realized, he was looking at the demon closest to you. The very demon you had your gun pointed at. He was asking the other demon to shoot at the hostages. You were preparing to pull the trigger.
But then your mind started racing. You stared at him intensely as your heartbeat quickened uncontrollably in your chest. The dark eyes. The soft lips. His skinny frame and gentle hands. You knew exactly who this demon was. You’d be able to pick him out of any crowd. What the hell was he doing here?
“Shoot!” the bigger demon shouted again, but Chanhee didn’t budge.
“I told you he was goddamn useless,” one of the others said. “Get rid of him.”
“You don’t deserve any of this money,” the bigger demon snarled, and his hand went to his belt. You knew there were human lives on the line. What you were about to do could be considered not only stupid, but wildly imprudent. Emotions were supposed to be left out of police operations. But how could you not have been blind with shock? You were going to let your heart control your body over your mind, and if it was deadly so be it. The bigger demon was now raising his arm at Chanhee.
Before you knew it, you had jumped out from behind the counter. You mirrored the demon’s actions and you pointed at him, pulling the trigger. At the same time, his gun went off. Just in time, you had pushed your body between the two demons.
“Y/N!” Chanhee shouted.
The bullet hit your shoulder and you fell backwards. Burning heat spread through your insides as you stumbled and reached for anything, anyone to hold on to. You could only think of Chanhee, and how your bullet had pierced through the big demon’s skull perfectly. Then, your colleagues opened the gunfire. The shots sounded almost muffled through the intense amount of adrenaline in your blood and the initial effect of being hit. Your body fell to the ground with a heavy thud, and a wave of agony spread through you. You grimaced at the excruciating pain, hands grasping at your shoulder. All you could see was white, before you sank onto your back and the world went dark.
~approximately 18 months later~
“Y/N,” Chanhee said, for the sixth time within the last ten minutes. You pressed your phone harder against your ear, holding it up with your shoulder. Your hands were too busy writing a police report on your laptop.
“Chanhee, I promise I’m writing the last few sentences already,” you assured him. He liked it when you came home early, leaving enough time to relax on the couch with him, instead of falling into bed like a corpse. Today, he was especially insistent, urging you to stay on the phone with him until you had finally packed up your things and left the police department. You guessed he was just trying to make sure you couldn’t stop somewhere along the way and start working on something new. And maybe that fear wasn’t so far off the truth.
“I’m done,” you said. “Status report: I’m switching off the laptop. Now I’m taking my bag. I’m getting up. I’m locking my office behind me. I’ll be home in twenty minutes or less.”
His laughter on the other side of the line made you smile. You couldn’t wait to see his face and get to hug him.
“Alright. I can’t wait,” he said. “I’ll see you.”
The walk home was calm. A soft breeze went through your hair and in the distance, you heard sirens of an ambulance. Promptly you were catapulted back to your memories and into the vehicle after you had been shot. Going in and out of consciousness, you kept repeating one name: Chanhee. When you woke up in the hospital bed, you half-expected him to be sitting there, waiting for you to wake up. But of course that was not the case. He had committed a crime – or at least tried to commit one. The prosecution was in his favor. They acknowledged his compliance with the police and his hesitation to hurt the hostage. Plus, he sold out the other demons and showed no resistance at any point. His regret and sorrow was apparent, nonetheless his mistake caused him 11 months in prison – by far less than the other robbers got.
People had called you insane for standing by him. Others thought you brave and newspapers named him the first good demon in the world. Every week you visited him in prison, often more than once. You made the most of your short time to talk, and with your kindest words you let him know that you were still here for him. Every visit you learned a bit more about how he had ended up in that bank.
After he had walked out on you, he had nowhere to go. So, after strolling the street mazes for days he found himself in the very demon night club he had once warned you about. Most unsavory figures twisted his mind into thinking doing good was no use. They made him believe he would never be able to escape the demon in him, and he might as well embrace the malice. They more or less pulled him along to the robbery, while he overthought the whole thing. It hurt you, seeing him cry as he recounted how scared he was when he saw the hostages. Some of them ended up injured, but all survived. You knew he would have never forgiven himself, had one of them died.
The day you picked him up from prison was a day you’d never forget. Holding each other in your arms felt so right, and you had missed it tremendously. His months at the prison hadn’t been easy, but you made sure he felt loved and cared for when he finally returned. He almost refused to believe that you would open your doors to him again. It was no question to you. You’d always be here for him. Even when he insisted you keep your office at home locked at all times. You trusted him almost a hundred percent by now. His demon only came out rarely, especially in times of stress or intense negative emotions. But you only treated him with kindness, and he gave back just as much of it.
“Chanhee I’m home!” you shouted as you entered your home.
“I’m up here,” he spoke. You ran up the stairs, excited to see him. Your eyes fell onto the open door of your office. For a moment, your heartbeat quickened as you approached it. You must have forgotten to lock the door that morning. Slowly, you pushed it open.
“Hello,” he grinned. You only chuckled as you watched him, sitting by your desk, a book in his hands. “I hope you don’t mind me being in here. This chair is so comfortable.”
“It’s all good,” you said. “Do you know what day it is today?”
“Umm…Friday?” he asked.
“It’s been exactly two years since you first started living here,” you said. “I think we should get some take out and celebrate, what do you say?”
“I can’t believe it’s been two years,” he said. “I’d love that. And you know what? I think I’m ready to start the internship at the police station.”
You smiled proudly. He had put his book down and was getting up.
“You’re going to do good things,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. He finally had found his place. His home. And you were never going to give up on him.
141 notes · View notes
lettertolife · 2 years
"FOCUS ON...?" AOTY BTS @AMAs 2021
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So Our Boys swept the AMAs and now are the First Asian act to Win Artist Of The Year award in AMAs. YAYAYAYAYAYAY 😍💜
I became an Army this year (Yeah even I question myself on being this late 🙁) after Grammy's and honestly I got into their music later, I became an Army solely based on their interviews and random YouTube videos. These Seven men share such warm bonds with each other and overall that it overwhelms me 🥺 The first thing that stayed with me was the relation these men have among themselves. They all have different equation with each other yet they value each relation equally, which is very rare to see in such a huge group. Slowly I got into knowing them and in their music and there is no going back. Anyway this was My First Award Ceremony of BTS and I had also actively participated in voting so I was very excited for the Awards. In my country the awards (Red carpet) was broadcasting at 5 Am. So I only slept like for an hour and fifteen minutes. I caught the red carpet, My Universe Performance, Best POP DUO/GROUP Award, Best POP SONG award but I'm so unfortunate that fatigue took over and I slept through The Artist Of The Year Award and only woke up when Becky G had finished her award speech🤦🏻‍♀️ But fortunately I caught the iconic BUTTER performance. Anyway moving on from my bad luck, The Boys claimed the AMAs for themselves.
From the moment they stepped on the Red Carpet, American Music Industry knew BTS was here. The Cheering was crazy, deafening and everything amazing. As soon as the Loud Cheering started the Hosts were like "Oh BTS is here" and I couldn't have been more proud of our ARMYs💜. They kept the thunder going and at the end it felt more like BTS concert than AMAs😂🙈 but other than this what caught our attention was...
When the Boys won the AOTY Award and started giving their acceptance speech, Our nervous & excited Jungkook kept using the word 'Focus On' (and before he could finish his speech Jin jokingly pulled him away from the mic) and even after the Awards the BTS live was also named as "FOCUS ON". ARMYs have been left intrigued as to What the "FOCUS ON" implies, is it some sort of a tease to their next album or solo?. or it could be a simply BTS Hyungs teasing their Maknae for being nervous during the acceptance speech.
Of course one of the reasons why Jungkook was tugged away before he could finish his speech is that BTS had exceeded their time limit and Wrap Up sign was flashing for them but as a Baby ARMY and ARMY in general I would like to believe that BTS is teasing us about their upcoming adventures.
Apart from this, Our Boys enjoyed the event. They were completely immersed and enjoying their first on stage performance of MY Universe with Coldplay and also they were performing in front of ARMYs after 2 years and you are my universe was their first song to us 🥺. Suga gave his acceptance speech in Korean and I was brimming with happiness in that movement. The Boys couldn't believe that they won that award and it was visible by their chaotic & adorable movements on stage while the Acceptance Speech for AOTY award. During RM's verse in BUTTER the Boys turned the Stage in Purple colour indicating their never ending love for us and honestly I'm still teary from that.
I LOVE YOU Bangtan Boys💜
I hope you always succeed in all your ventures and keep loving yourself as well as us and be this innocent and adorable forever. And I wish I can attend your Concert soon🥺💜
These are few favourite clips from today's event. And some beautiful photographed moments from todays event.
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matryosika · 2 years
shoot me, chapter VI
pairing — changbin x reader
rating — 18+
genre of the overall series — smut, angst, fluff if you squint
prologue chapter I chapter II chapter III chapter IV chapter V chapter VI
word count for this chapter — 4.1 k
warnings — mentions of alcohol and emotional abuse
note — this chapter has no smut in it. still, the love-story gets completely developed here. next chapters will be filled with smut and angst so stay tuned! i haven't read this chapter because i wanted to upload it as soon as possible, so it may contain grammar mistakes. i will check it later since i have to go out with my family to have dinner! <3 hope you enjoy
taglist:@cozyblues @ahgasearmyfan @binnie-m00n @minaamhh @pinkishwen @spilledtee
[changbin's pov]
"so?" you asked him, modeling one of the dresses that you had previously selected from the expensive clothing shop "what do you think?"
she looks like a goddess.
"good" changbin limited to reply. "is that the last one?"
"c'mon you are not helping at all" you grunted, turning around slightly on the mirror to see the full silhouette of the dress "this might be the one, don't you think?"
i think so. i think you look perfect in all the things you have tried on, actually.
"it's alright" the dark-haired man reply "just take that one and let's get this over with"
"jesus, changbin" you whined "you are such a pain in the ass. if you were in a bad mood then you shouldn't have accepted to drive me here so i can buy a dress for the wedding"
you had been in korea for a month and 2 weeks now, your relationship with changbin growing unconciously intimate as you often engage in sexual encounters with him. you wouldn't say the both of you were close, but each day that passed by you could feel how you learned more about him just like he learned more about you too. you wouldn't consider him a good friend, since hostility made a presence every now and then between the both of you, but you had learned to spend time with him without feeling the need to put plugs into your ears and a blindfold to stop acknowledging his existence.
"if you needed help picking a dress" changbin interrupted, standing up from the seat he had been occupying for the last 45 minutes "you should've asked hyejin or ryujin to come and help you out, not me"
"hyejin is busy" you were quick to respond "ryujin had work today and you were the only other person i know that owns a car"
"cabs exist"
"yeah well" you made a pause, swallowing hard "i don't like cabs"
"you could've asked arthur to lend you his private driver" changbin tilted his head slightly.
"i get uncomfortable with strangers" you answered after a few seconds of being completely silent, changbin's gaze making you incredibly nervous.
"really?" he inquired, one of his hands traveling all the way to the pocket of his jacket as he pulled his wallet out. "why won't you just admit that you wanted to spend time with me?"
"fuck no" a grimace of disgust was quick to appear on your face "don't get confused. i would rather be dead than to spend more time with you than i already have to"
"yet you are still here" he teased "maybe i'm not as unbearable as your mind is trying to convince you i truly am"
with lazy steps he took the bunch of dresses that were piled up on the chair next to him, putting them all over his shoulder as he walked to the counter. "what are you doing?" you asked, still wearing the last dress you tried on.
"you are indecisive and i am starving" he said without even looking at you "i don't need to spend another 45 minutes here looking at how much you struggle to pick between 5 dresses, just have them all and pick one when you are alone"
you looked at him in desbelief "do you have any idea of how much just one of them cost? are you stupid?" you almost yelled in astonishment, looking at the figure of changbin slightly turning around to face you.
"i am not stupid" changbin reply "like i said, i am just hungry"
and currently thinking about how beautiful you are looking right now with that look of amazement on your pretty face. if i could, i would buy you the entire world just for you to destroy.
[y/n's pov]
"i will pay every single one of those dresses back before i leave" you mumbled, eating your food as if you had been starving for days "i had money, i didn't need you to come and rescue me as if i was some sort of damsel in distress"
"you were in distress though" he added, taking a sip of the drink he ordered "you took almost 30 minutes just to pick one dress to try on, you are really undecisive"
"yeah well, it's not like i had anywhere else to be" you replied.
"isn't arthur going to have a small gathering at his house today?" changbin inquired "like a pre-celebration of the wedding or something?"
you shrugged your shoulders "i don't know and i don't care. i am just here for the wedding and then i will be finally free"
you kept on eating your plate of food, confused as to why changbin's gaze stayed fix on you. "what, do i have something on my f-?"
"are you leaving right after the wedding?" he asked in a very hostile way, almost as if he had completely forgot that you were not going to stay forever.
"not right after but that's the main reason i came here, yeah" you replied, having a mixture of feelings inside your guts.
you couldn't deny the fact that you missed tsukuba, but living there meant to be trapped in the university dorms 24/7 just studying. but still, the lifestyle you have had for the past time was absolutely something you could get use to it: ryujin, hyejin, going out on the weekends, being free from school, changbin...
"i still don't know the exact date though" you added "school doesn't start for me in another months so..."
"how is your life?" he asked, earning a weird look from you as you couldn't quite understand his question "in Japan, i mean"
you sighed. you had thought that living in japan was really good and you felt utterly comfortable living there until you arrived to korea and discovered a whole new life style that you had already learned to love. not only that, but leaving everything here was going to get you a bit nostalgic in the future. "it is great, better than people say it is honestly" you responded as he nodded "i live at the university dorms so life is pretty much everything but rushed. i spend my days at the library studying, i sometimes work as a shadow teacher for like 4 or 5 kids and on weekends i go and visit my mom and her partner"
"your mom got married after divorcing arthur?" changbin followed, just in time as he finished his dish of food.
"uh, it's complicated" you gave him a smile "she lives with someone and she is very happy"
"and are you?"
you were about to answer the question when you felt a pinch on your heart. a month ago you would have replied "yes" without a doubt. you thought you were happy living in japan, you thought you were happy when you visited thea, your mother, and reiko, her girlfriend. you thought you were happy when reiko made you her special coffee and you thought you were happy when they ocasionally visited you on winter nights at your dorm. you thought you were happy when you worked with children and spent time with them. you thought you were happy when you rode your bike from school to work and you thought you were happy when ryejin visited you and your mom on the holidays.
however, you had learned a new definition of happiness here.
"are you?" you fired back.
changbin slightly tilted his head as he laid completely back on his seat "i could be"
"what is exactly stopping you from being happy?" you asked him, intruiged.
"even if i explained it to you" he mumbled "i don't think you will be able to understand it"
"ah, there you are again" you scoffed, slightly rolling your eyes "your god complex has not show all day. i guess you missed it."
"c'mon" he grunted, raising his hand at one of the waiters at the restaurant "let's go somewhere else"
"where exactly?" you laughed "to your place? your car? a motel? jesus changbin, you can't really go a day without fucking, can you?"
"that's not actually what i had in mind" he replied, taking out his credit card as he saw the waiter approaching the table "but i mean if you want to fuck i won't say no"
"you had something in mind?" you asked, faking excitment "for me? you planned something for me?"
"if you want i can drop you at arthur's place right now so he can force you to have dinner with him and his bride. it's up to you"
you weren't really feeling like spending "quality time" with your father, and you also knew that hyejin was probably not going to attent the dinner, so there was no point of you being there. but at the same time, the thought of spending time with changbin doing non-sexual activities was something that it always made you nervous for an unknown reason, and you were feeling particularly nervous today.
the evening went on peacefully and that alone was unreal. he drove you to the center of seoul and suggested to take a walk around the most popular avenues because "the city looked better at night", something you have always believed too.
changbin was attractive and, even though your personalities crashed every damn time, you couldn't deny the fact that there were some sort of intimate bond going on between the both of you since that very first night at the bar. still, you wouldn't accept it. you wouldn't accept that the one person you disliked the most was starting to change your mind.
and you couldn't get yourself to trust him either. you couldn't trust any men, for that matter.
"have you thought about which dress you are going to wear tomorrow?" he asked so casually, his hands inside the pockets of his jacket as his gaze diverted from building to building.
"no" you replied, trying to get back at the trail of thoughts you had been threading since you left the restaurant with him. "have you?"
"have i thought about the dress i am going to wear tomorrow?" he laughed "i don't know, it will depend on which one you lend me"
"i got distracted" you admitted "but i will try on all the dresses tomorrow morning and i will give you the rest of them so you can return them to the store"
"i won't do that" he clicked his tongue "i bought them for you"
your heart skipped a beat after hearing those words and it was everything but pleasent.
"i don't want them"
"you can't reject a gift" he mumbled "that's the whole point of a gift"
"i will sell them on the internet" you threatened.
"do it, at the end of the day they are yours" he gave you a side look while smirking "but i wouldn't sell them if i were you. you look good in them"
"oh so you want to give opinions about the dresses now, huh?" you asked, mildly annoyed "you could've help me back at the store but you chose to be grumpy"
"at least i am helping you now"
"you are unbearable" you whispered.
a bright smile was quick to appear on his face. a genuine smile, as if he was enjoying the conversation. not only the conversation but the whole moment: you and him, walking around the city and talking about something so casual and trivial like which clothes you were going to wear tomorrow or which dress he liked best on you.
and for a moment it felt nice.
you felt safe.
"the red one was pretty" he added. you looked at him confused, once again lost in your trail of thoughts. "the red dress, the one that you tried on last"
"good" you responded "i'll make sure not to wear that one"
"you hate me that much?" he teased while a faint chuckle left his lips.
"oh changbin, you have no idea" deep down knowing it wasn't more than a vile lie.
you looked in the mirror one last time before you heard hyejin calling your name once again "y/n, how long will you take? i need to stop by the bakery to pick up the wedding cake"
"i'll be out in a minute" you replied, noticing how your hands got sweatier by the second.
you were quite nervous, but couldn't really understand why. maybe the sole thought of your father having his "happy ending" made you jealous because you knew that he did not deserve that at all; he didn't deserve the love he had.
the emotional abuse your mother and you suffered throughout your childhood and adolescence was not something that could be fixed in a month or two and you were certain about it. no matter how happy your father was, you couldn't help but to feel jealous about how he never had to suffer like you and your mother did.
and even though you got over your negative feelings towards him, the scars and aftermath of an abusive household still caught up on you: the mistrust, the negativity, the hostility and the lack of commitment were things you had to deal with on a daily basis.
of course he was the one to blame. but you were an adult now, and you were supposed to deal with all those issues by yourself. no one was going to fix them for you.
"jesus y/n, we are running late" hyejin busted the door open "are you ready now?"
"yes" you were quick to respond, grabbing the purse on your bed and trying to quickly divert from your sister's gaze.
"wait" she mumbled, gripping both of your shoulder as you intended to the leave the room "why are you tearing up?"
"i am not" you replied "i yawned"
she didn't look convinced, but still decided not to push any further "i'll meet you in the car, i just have to grab a few things"
you nodded and made your way through the hallway. because of how rushed she was, you didn't have a chance to tell hyejin how gorgeous she looked. she was wearing a golden shiny dress that embraced her body just fine and carrying a maching clutch with it. she was really pretty, maybe the prettiest woman you had ever seen, and not only that but she was also very smart. any guy would be head over heels for her, but she still decided not to engage in a "silly love story" as she called them because "it is a waste of her precious time, and time is money"
you wished you had the same mentality as she did, but you grew up getting educated on how love was portrayed in books, movies and television. it was ironic how you were the first person on earth to deny that love actually existed, but you were still a hopeless romantic after all.
[changbin's pov]
"changbin, are you too far from the church?" haeun, his mother, asked desperately as changbin picked up the phone.
"i'm right outside" he grunted "i told you i was not going to be late"
"we are sitting on the second bench at the left of the altar" the old woman added "hurry up"
changbin hung up the phone and cursed under his breath. the weather today was maybe too nice for his own liking and his clothes were a bit too uncomfortable to be wearing them under the sun.
as quickly as he could, he closed the door of his car and started walking towards the entrance, making sure that the ceremony hadn't started just yet so he wouldn't make a scene.
"did you bring the gift?" jang-yeop inquired as he sat down next to him and changbin nodded "did you also bring your mother the pair of shoes?"
"yes" he responded "how long is this going to take?"
"40-45 minutes?" his father replied "i have no idea, what time is it?"
"7:02 p.m." haeun was quick to answer "now, the both of you shut up"
right after she mumbled those words, music started to sound on the church. changbin, being in a rush to get to his seat before the ceremony started, didn't notice that arthur was already standing up next to the altar and waiting for his soon-to-be wife. changbin's gaze was fixed on arthur, then it diverted into the bride walking down the aisle and then returned to arthur once again. he never thought about marriage or building a family. hell, he never thought about having a romantic relationship that would last longer than a few months actually. but as he grew older, and as he experienced new stuff, he wasn't sure if he still had the same mentality he used to have last year.
to changbin, arthur seemed genuinely happy. his half-lidded eyes along with that bright smile he was wearing indicated that the man was living one of the happiest days of his life. and as changbin witnessed that romantic scene, the question that popped up in the conversation he had with you last night grabbed his attention once again.
what exactly is stopping me from being happy?
and before he could respond himself with words, his eyes had already found the answer: standing on the bench at the right of the altar and wearing that promising dark red dress that could drive any man insane, the woman he never dreamed of looking just as beautiful as the very first day he met her.
not being able to have her completely.
[y/n's pov]
after the ceremony, a big party was held at a very elegant event hall located in one of the tallest buildings of seoul. you were not particularly excited about having to see arthur's side of the family, but you still managed to keep yourself together the whole time.
"you are wearing the red dress" a sudden voice whispered into your ear as you were counting the tables that were still missing their dinner plates, an order given by hyejin. you slightly turned around to meet changbin's breath dancing on your neck and nape, goosebumps filling every single inch of your skin due to the proximity.
"congratulations" you sighed "your vision is crystal clear"
"i have been watching you since the ceremony" changbin added "i can't help but think about how pretty you are going to look when you are taking that dress off for me"
a spark of electricity traveled around your whole body and directly into your core. you immediatly looked around and notice a few people who worked for arthur's company sitting not that far away from the both of us "do you really want to do this here?" you asked "aren't you scared of being caught by any of arthur's friends?"
"are you concerned about that now?" he chuckled "that didn't seem to bother you at the company's elevator"
"c'mon" you whispered, your back slightly pressing against his chest "i have to help hyejin with some stuff"
changbin slightly gripped your hand and guided you to the dancefloor that was crowded with couples dancing around "i am sure that she can handle all of this by herself"
before you could protest, you took out your phone and sent her a message with the information she asked for. you had no idea what changbin was up to, but you still decided to follow him.
changbin positioned his hands on your waist as he gracefully dragged you across the dancefloor, looking for a spot in the middle of the crowd so it would be easier for the two of you to get lost.
"you are spending the night at my place" he mumbled over the slow songs that were now playing. it wasn't a question nor a petition, it was an order.
"yeah right" you chuckled "if you are too desperate to fuck we can do that, but i am not fond of sleepovers"
the thought of you spending the night with him was terrifying, but you would've been lying if you said that you hadn't think about what it would be like to wake up next to his him.
"i wasn't asking" he responded. "tell me when you are ready to leave".
with a swift movement, your whole body was pressed against his, his hands resting on your lowerback as you both swinged from side to side, following the rythm of the song. this was a whole new side of him that you didn't know it existed, and you couldn't deny that you were loving every second of it.
"who thaught you how to dance, huh?" you asked, your gaze fixed on his eyes that looked even brighter because of all the lights adorning the hall.
"there is so much about me that you don't know" he replied.
"oh i know everything there is to know about you, changbin" you scoffed "but let's see if you can keep surprising me"
it wasn't even midnight but people were already starting to get completely intoxicated with alcohol. arthur had spent the night dancing with ara and, after she was done being the unofficial wedding planner, hyejin ended up getting wasted with the small group of friends she invited to the wedding. you, on the other hand, spent the night dancing with changbin and eating your dinner with him.
it was not unusual to see the both of you together since you spent too much time at the company, but tonight it was sort of different. the looks he gave you, the way you two danced for hours on end, the way he was treating you... it felt different, a little bit more personal and intimate. his parents probably noticed this too, since they made a lof of comments about "how happy they were about us being really good friends". if only they knew.
"i think i am ready" you said to changbin after telling hyejin that you were going to spend the night somewhere else. she nodded her head and agreed to say, if asked, that "you were at ryujin's" even when she wasn't invited to the wedding in the first place. you just smiled at her and nodded, not leaving without telling one of her sober friends to look out for her.
"don't worry" the pretty pale girl mumbled "she will stay at my house tonight"
you glanced over to arthur and ara who were still having the greatest time of their lives on the dancefloor, and proceeded to walk away from the party with changbin. "you parents will stay here?"
"yeah, they will leave in an hour or so" changbin replied "i told them that you wanted to go home and that i was going to drive you"
"perks of living alone i guess" you joked.
the walk through the empty corridors of the building felt eerie as the loud sound of the music were still ringing in your ears. even though you were walking on your own, you could still feel changbin's ablazing touch on your body and that only provoked your heartbeat to go even faster.
as you waited for the elevator to open their doors, changbin's lips unexpectedly crashed against yours. it wasn't a passionate kiss, and it wasn't rushed either. it was just a kiss, an innocent kiss, a kiss you give to your significant other as a demostration of how much you love them. his soft lips dragged against yours as his teeth bite softly your bottom lip, earning a small whine from you. his hands, that were now located into your waist, guided you to the insides of the elevator once the doors were opened.
"you look so beautiful tonight" he whispered interrupting, his breathing getting faster each second that passed by "i can't get you out of my head"
his lips left yours to meet the sensitive spots on your neck, peppering soft kisses all over the surface. your gaze found the reflection of the scene in the mirror of the elevator, looking at how changbin was tasting every inch of your skin with his eyes closed, his rushed hands traveling all the way from your waist to your lower back trying to memorize every single trace of your body.
"i don't want to hurt you tonight" he continued "no roughness, no pain, no petnames. i want to make you completely mine, in the most pure way"
and for the night, you agreed to let your feelings out and let go.
no fear and no mistrust, you were ready to face the overwhelming feelings that had been building up inside you since the day you met him.
even if you could potentially regret it later...
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