#eventually legally marriedly posts

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

“How’s the wedding planning going? Let me know if I can help! ❤️”

Stop asking me about it!! Stop asking how I am!!! I don’t know!!! Unless you have specific ways you actively are going to help me (with your time and/or energy and/or emotional support), I don’t want to hear it or talk about it!!!!

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

So far, my wedding day is looking like: almost all of our friends are going to line up to fight my dad (joking but aaaaaaaah)

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

I can’t believe we’re going to be spouses in a month 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

“How’s the wedding going?? How’s the planning? Are you excited???”

Well, neither of us really planned to get this far or really planned to get married, due to both being queer and mentally ill from relatively young; we’ve both hit a wall, and we’re both going to show up as far as I know :)

People keep saying “how’s it going????” And I say, “well, we’re both showing up! 😃”

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

Today in planning wedding things: flower fillers, place cards (why do all of them suck?), sea foam green (unrelated to any wedding planning), and pearl earrings, which I had forgotten are a family-passed-down tradition and which N is gracefully willing to wear

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

The Driver, upon finding out today, that I’m getting married: are you READY to spend the REST of your LIFE with ONE PERSON???!??

Me: uh, yeah?

Me, thinking: (are you not already doing that when you date monogamously?) (is that not the mutually agreed upon plan??) (when you and another person are monogamous together????)

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

N is a sucker for pretty wedding videos (or really, wedding videos in general), and they clicked on one this morning that was recommended to them on YouTube, and that’s how I heard the phrase “power couple for Jesus” at approximately 7:15 AM. I almost spat out my drink

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

If you’re getting married have you tried considering hiring a DJ have you tried vetting a DJ have you considered people will want to dance and not just stand there packages starting at $1,500 NOT including tip include strobe lights and fog machines that will KILL your autistic spouse I promise we don’t cost that much money just $1,500 minumum our website is ~sooooo different~ and looks the exact same as every other DJ website I promise if you book with us it will only cost $2,000 including tip some wedding websites said we did a good job did you know that we won an award for it and I promise we will misgender you and have no queer couples or plus sized people or people of color in our photos and all our white guys look the same as all the other wedding DJ (cis straight) white guys and we’re really really worth it this time I promise we’re not like other DJs out there we provide you with MUSIC and FLASHY LIGHTS and you have to sign up to see ANY of the prices and I promise it’ll be as painless as possible as soon as you give us your email and create an account and give us part of your soul and promise you’ll never forget what a magical, unique moment we gave you for the rare cost of way too much money that makes you want to bang your head against a wall for trying to book something for less than a million dollars :)

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

I'm like, super Married™️ now and also so GAY for my BEAUTIFUL SPOUSEY (and platonically gay for my HEARTWARMING FRIENDS and LOVED ONES)

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

Okay but for real? I can’t imagine being those cis straight women who are like, “and then we I planned EVERYTHING in the last THREE months and I’m SO stressed my HAIR is falling out and I had to drag him to the altar but he’s finally my hubby 😇😍” like???? How do you not plan these things with your partner? The biggest event of your life, where everyone you know will be in a room together, and you don’t have equal say and cares about the decisions??? One of you is just doing everything last minute? Why do you even want to marry him by the end of him not putting in effort to do all that important stuff with you????

Anyways, as much as I feel like I’m being annoying by talking about my wedding every week and doing things for it every week, I’m very grateful that my partner and I are doing it together and talking about what we want, what we do/don’t find important, etc.

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

We made the guest list and are texting people to fill it out!!! It only took us 4 hours at Starbucks! I’m so proud of us, especially because both of us didn’t add many more people at all than we had from our original lists 🥰

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

I can talk about it now— we have a venue secured for our wedding date!! I really like the place, even though it’s different than I had envisioned…

Now we just have to figure out all the rest of the stuff… including but not limited to: suits Do Not Exist in burgundy (I said burgundy, and Google said “oh, you mean puce? And puce? And puce? And red velvet? And salmon? And light brown?”) and I’m the size of a child, wedding rings are a million dollars apiece (exaggeration), food and prices and budgets oh my🫢, and also, today I learned that “save the dates” and “RSVPs” are not the same

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

My partner: (from Utah) “Derek is spelled D-E-R-I-C, right?”

Me: (not from Utah) “No? It’s just spelled the normal way… it’s not DeRick….”

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

💌💌💌

Image description: a messy stack of envelopes with a “save the date sticker” on the middle of them, in the foreground of the photo. In the background are a sheet of stamps, the side of a basket, someone’s earbuds, tape, and gold and white label sheets. /end description

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

We went to a wedding bridal expo for several hours earlier today, and we got a lot of “oh, who are you marrying? You’re marrying each other? Okay :)” but my favorite was the vendor person who said “Oh, you’re marrying each other? I was thrown off by you not wearing the bride and groom stickers”

That’s the absolute point omg

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

My brain is so full of wedding things right now 😵‍💫

(N is getting really INTO it! And EMAILING places! And reading CONTRACTS! And they made a SPREADSHEET! And I love them, and those are all things that we need(ed) to do, and they’re things I’m not good at like they are, but I’m also overwhelmed)