#every second you look at this you lose one minute of your lifespan on earth

[dryicecubes]

[biaswreckingfics]

No Limits: Bonus Chapter

Author: biaswreckingfics

Genre: Mafia AU - Warnings? Everything that goes on in a mafia au

Word Count: 1.5k

Previous Chapter

A few weeks had passed since EXO wiped the Baem off the face of the Earth, and things around the compound had definitely changed for the better. Everyone was less stressed out and less on edge, and it was a nice change from what you had grown used to. Ever since you came along, the men had been worried about the Baem. You've never known them in a world where the Baem weren't a problem, so it was fun to explore their more carefree personalities. That didn't mean, however, life had become all fun and games.

EXO's business nearly doubled when they eliminated the Baem. They picked up a lot of the Baem's old contacts since none of them wanted to risk working with a smaller, less experienced group. Of course, if EXO wasn't on everyone's radar before, which you were pretty sure they were, they definitely are now. They were one of the most powerful groups on this side of the hemisphere.

With the influx of business, Junmyeon had become buried in paperwork. He tried to say it was a nice change from blowing things up, but you knew he was two seconds away from throwing all of the paperwork in a pile and lighting it on fire. Minseok helped him with a lot of it, but he was often too busy helping Jongin train the new recruits.

Yes. New recruits.

After the success Jongdae and his old crew had in taking care of their districts the night the Baem were taken down, he threw out the idea of them possibly joining EXO. As it turns out, their old crew jumped at the opportunity to join. They were more than happy to help continue on Kyungsoo's legacy. They were a rowdy bunch, but they loved to share stories about Kyungsoo and Jongdae during their teenage years and embarrass the crap out of Jongdae. Plus, they got along with Jongin almost too well. Minseok often became exasperated by the bunch when the two were supposed to train them.

Everyone was beyond ecstatic that the Baem were no longer a threat. They felt like they were able to avenge their lost loved ones and come out on top in the end, but that didn't mean once everyone got home, everything was fine and dandy.

It took a couple of weeks for everyone to fall into a playful mood because there was one important member that was MIA at first, but once Sehun came home, everyone's spirits quickly lifted. You could see the change in him as soon as he came back, but whether that was due to his time with the Baem or losing Jaesuk, you weren't sure. You had very little doubts that both things played a significant role.

It took about a week before you could see Sehun becoming more and more relaxed and happy. Undoubtedly, it was partially due to Chanyeol and Yixing sticking by his side constantly and distracting him whenever his thoughts started to turn dark. The two men did everything in their power to help the youngest learn to cope and eventually accept the loss of not only Jaesuk but Kyungsoo as well since he had never had the chance to mourn him.

Sehun often came to you when he wanted a break from the two men or when he just wanted some peace and quiet. He knew he could come to you, and the two of you could talk about everything under the sun or nothing at all. It was comforting for him to be with someone he trusted and just exist, and you were grateful to be one of the people he could do that with.

While you did spend a lot of time with Sehun and the other men, the majority of your time was spent with Baekhyun. Your main source of comfort, calm, and happiness. Baekhyun no longer held himself back because of his fears. He made sure he told you he loved you every single day, especially if one of you were leaving the house and he did his absolute best to make you feel like the most special person on this planet. He had surprised you in the best possible way.

Admittedly, you had a more difficult time than you thought you would after killing one of the leaders. You had never taken someone's life before and while you didn't regret a single thing, it was still weird and unnerving to know you snuffed out someone's lifespan earlier than expected. You thought about their kids here and there, but the guys made sure to tell you that you shouldn't feel bad and often tried to get you to stop thinking about it.

Mostly, a small part of you was worried that you had caused future you problems by killing their fathers. What if you had created future monsters? Just like what was done to you and Junmyeon? You sought revenge for what was done to your parents, and you hoped with everything in you that they wouldn't continue the cycle.

This worry had caused you enough stress that Baekhyun had taken it into his own hands to actually plan the trip he had mentioned the day you attacked the Baem. Well, he semi-planned it and said, "the two of us will go wherever the wind takes us". He surprisingly got the okay from Junmyeon before you even knew it was happening and then, in the blink of an eye, you were getting ready to leave for a three-month-long trip to explore the world.

All that was left now was to say goodbye.

Of course, the was easier said than done, thanks to Sehun and Yixing literally refusing to let the two of you leave the house.

"You guys... we're coming back." Baekhyun sighs after five minutes of trying to get out the door. "It's not like we're going to stay away forever."

"No. You're leaving for too long. I won't allow it." Sehun stubbornly stands his ground.

Junmyeon walks over to the front door and shoos them away from it. "Come on. Come on. Let's let them go on their way."

"I want to go on a trip..." Jongin grumbles before shooting a glare at your brother. "I can't believe you're okay with this."

You smile at the oversized pouty babies in front of you. This was the infamous and widely feared EXO? Yixing literally looked like he was about to cry. "We'll be back in no time. Until then, how about you guys just don't blow up the city again."

When Jongin and Sehun looked away from you in the most suspicious way possible, your eyes immediately flashed over to Junmyeon, who had already narrowed his own at the two youngest. He opens his mouth to immediately scold them for whatever trouble they were about to get into before changing his mind.

"I'll deal with you two later. For now, you two," he points at you and Baekhyun, "have to get going, or you'll miss your flight."

After another round of hugs, you find yourself hugging your brother one last time. The moment was sweet, and you were happy until he ruined it when he pulled away from your embrace and pointed at you.

"Do not come back pregnant."

Your mouth falls open in shock, and you whack him in the arm while the men around you excitedly discuss what it would be like to have a little EXO baby running around the compound.

"I'm serious. I just barely got used to the idea of the two of you. We do not need a mini you running around here."

You feel Baekhyun's arm slide around your waist, and you look over to see him smiling mischievously at your brother.

"You're not ready to be an uncle yet?"

When Junmyeon looked like he was ready to knock Baekhyun out, Baekhyun laughs and relents. "Alright. Alright. We'll just make sure to get in a lot of practice for when you change your mind."

Before your brother could murder Baekhyun and ruin your trip, you push him towards the door. He fights you on it a little before finally letting you win the power struggle and opening the door, letting out a loud laugh thanks to Junmyeon's murderous expression.

When you hear Jongin lean over and ask Minseok, "He doesn't seriously think they haven't already been having sex right under his own roof, right?" You quickly wave goodbye to the guys and follow Baekhyun out the door.

As he stands on the porch waiting for you with a giant, happy smile lighting up his face, excitement floods you, and you can't wait to start your trip with Baekhyun and open this new chapter of your life. Who knows? Maybe someday you and Baekhyun will bring a mini you into this world but until then, you were going to live life to the fullest and start making some happy memories for once in your life.

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[nikkoliferous]

Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram: 

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all. 

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

—

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy 

Just wanna remind everyone that this 

is why he’s smiling during this scene 

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂 

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring. 

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger 

Honestly, though, big mood. 

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway. 

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather. 

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is. 

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.  

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess… 

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD. 

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol 

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol 

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit. 

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

[x-fantasy-is-my-reality-x]

Goku Black x Reader: Forbidden Fruit (Chapter 21: The Ritual [SMUT] )

Hey guys! Sorry for not posting for so long as I've been busy with my job and college applications that I'm still not done with. It's the moment you've all been waiting for! This is the first smut I've written and all my experience comes from reading fanfiction alone in my room, but hopefully it's not that bad. The smut starts and ends at *** so skip if you don't want to read. There are quite a few more chapters to come! Thanks for all your love and support!

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“Alright Black,” you murmured shakily into his chest. “I-I’ll do it. I’ll become a God.” Your hands clenched the soft fabric of his shirt, a churning wave of emotion threatening to bowl you over as the gravity of the situation began to solidify. You were abandoning the human race, all for the man who was responsible for their downfall. But for some reason, the thought of losing him was much worse than anything you could possibly imagine. And to think that you had once hated everything about him. Human hearts really were a fickle thing.

“Thank you.” He lowered his lips into your hair, and you could feel the waves of heat transmitting from his warm body.

You stood there for what felt like an eternity, bathing in the warmth of his embrace and nothing in the world had ever felt so perfect to you before. It was just you and him, and that was all that mattered. If you could pause this moment forever, you would have done so without hesitation. It just further confirmed that you saw no future without him in your life, and you were willing to sacrifice anything in order to do it, even your humanity. The only thing you could do was hope that Trunks wouldn’t hate you for the rest of his life, and that Mai and the others wouldn’t see you as a traitor. Even forfeiting your birth as a fellow human did not mean that you would just let them die, no, in fact it gave you a better bargaining chip. You couldn’t bear to lose any more.  

“We need to go now,” Black rubbed your back soothingly, finally breaking the trance. “We have not a moment to waste.”

“What about Trunks?”

At the mention of the boy’s name, you could see his shoulders tense but to your surprise he didn’t utter a single word. Black wasn’t going to waste any more breath on that monkey when there were more pressing matters at hand.

“Just leave him, for now.”

“But I want to say goodbye.”

“You’re lucky I’m even sparing his life,” Black growled gutturally, his mood suddenly darkening. “I will only repeat myself one more time; we are departing.” A harsh shadow fell across his face and your jaw snapped shut, biting your tongue to hold back your protests. At this rate, arguing with him would only make matters worse, and his grip was becoming unbearable.

“Fine,” you managed to breathe out, nearly choking from his bruising hand upon your bicep. You weren’t sure if he was purposefully doing it or if he simply didn’t know his own strength.

“But please let go, you’re hurting me,” you whimpered, lips trembling at the verge of tears, straining your arm against him. The pressure immediately released and his entire demeanor seemed to change, as it did quite often. You still weren’t quite used to it after all this time. Guilt flashed across his eyes but he turned away before you could see, brushing a hand questioningly over his chest. It was that feeling again.

Black’s old feelings range consisted of entirely of spite, indifference, and disgust, but since that fateful encounter with you his entire emotional spectrum seemed to expand against his will, for better or for worse. The only salvation he had managed to convince himself of was that it only expanded as far as to encompass you, and only you. To his intense relief, his goal and hatred towards the human race in particular refused to stray from its path. That was the one thing you could never change about him, and he was sure that deep down you were aware of it.

That’s alright. Patience is key. The gloriousness of my justice will always prevail, even you must see that one day, Y/n. Black reassured himself confidently. Yes, the Zero Mortal Plan will succeed, with you by his side.

With a whoosh, you felt your body disappear. When you opened your eyes again, the scenery had changed. The dazzling light was blinding, so different from the ashen, ruined world you were used to. When was the last time you had seen a clear sky? Compared to the earth even before the duo’s arrival, it was break taking and completely ethereal.

Black seemed to sense your amazement, a small smirk gracing his lips. “Welcome to the world of the Gods. You are and will be the only mortal to ever step foot here; you should count yourself lucky.”

Mortal.

That word resonated inside your chest, and your wonder was quickly overtaken by guilt and apprehension. They were still back there, completely at the mercy of Zamasu, and forsaken by you. And what about this planet? There was no way Black took you here for sightseeing. And the ritual? What the hell was going on? All he had told you about it was that it required another God and a combining of the essences, which definitely sounded suspicious to you. To be honest, after he said that part you were barely listening but had only heard snatches of the more complicated explanation of joining the souls and whatnot.

“Well, no time to waste,” Black’s voice jolted you out of your thoughts, his eyes glinting in a way as if he knew exactly what you were thinking and enjoyed your confusion. “Let’s go.”

Large hands slid under your armpit and gripped you tightly as you descended into the sky, and you swallowed a shriek as you went from ground level to a few hundred feet into the clouds within a second.

“Black!” You clung onto his arms and thrashed. “What the hell?!”

He merely grunted and loosened his grip, obviously entertained by your struggles.

“Fine fine!” Your knuckles turned pale from clutching his arm so hard. “Can you at least tell me where we’re going before you kill me?”

“You’ll see.”

“But-”

“Just shut up.” His tone left no room for argument and you had no choice but to oblige, trying not to trigger him into another mood swing. Lush trees and crystal lakes blurred behind you as you flew, though the stunning, rolling landscapes weren’t nearly enough to keep you from praying that the journey wouldn’t take much longer as your hands began to go numb from the cold of traveling so high. The warmth radiating from Black wasn’t nearly enough to keep you cozy, but it was better than nothing. Just as your eyes slumped shut and your stomach dropped, a rush of cold air battered your exhausted body, alerting you to your descension.

The unreadable Saiyan didn’t utter a word as he touched down in front of a massive, sparkling cave, its gaping maw welcoming you in. Despite the sheer blackness of the inside, you couldn’t sense any sort of darkness emitting from the depths. It was the world of Gods, after all. You could feel the dense, ancient magic shrouding the rocky surface, comforting yet powerful. You were interrupted from your spell when you felt a sturdy hand against your back, urging you forward.

Black overtook you at the entrance, and you inched forward cautiously, watching as your feet were completely engulfed by the lightless air. Vision gone, you groped blindly along the walls as you shuffled forward, listening carefully for Black’s footsteps, which were muffled on the condensed carpet of cushioned moss. You lost track of time as you pressed forward, the darkness beginning to seep into your mind, occasionally being guided by the silent God through intersections in the passageways.

After what had to be thirty minutes of wandering, a calming, turquoise light began to illuminate the barren cave, and you could just barely see Black’s silhouette through the dimness.

“Black!” You rushed to his side, huffing slightly from the pressure of the venture.

“We’re here.” He stately flatly, ignoring your grip on his arm.

A few more steps and the narrow tunnel opened up into a wide, natural chamber, in which situated a small, clear pool that seemed to radiate brightness, fed by a steady, miniature waterfall. A giant hole was situated in the rock framing the starlit night sky, the mellow light shining in a white beam onto a crystal bowl carved into a block of what appeared to be quartz.  The entire space was painted a calming azure by the reflection of the water. An air of enchantment settled heavily upon the clearing, and it was the most gorgeous thing you ever had the fortune to lay your eyes on. It easily made Earth look like a filthy, vacant rock with its beauty, and yet at the same time, it seemed so distant, so far away. A stab of anguish squeezed your heart, knowing that no other human would ever see it, and that you could never view it again in with the same eyes. Mortal eyes.

You would pay a price for this sight, your mortality, some might even argue morality, but on Earth you were already the closest thing to a God with your immortality. No, it wasn’t mortality that you were shedding. It was humanity, all because a God decided to spare you. Black hadn’t meant anything more to you than any other villain that assaulted the universe, he was just a being you had to defeat after all, or at the minimum, he was part of life. A prolonged lifespan had desensitized you to the aches and pains of a normal man, but you could never have foreseen he would have come to mean to you. How much you would give up for him, the man who ended up stalking and kidnapping you. Even now you could barely believe it, but it was the truth from every angle.

You loved him.

And he did too, if it could be called love. Obsession, hunger, maybe love, Black didn’t know either. Like you, it was still hard to fathom exactly why he gravitated towards you, why he chose to find someone to complete him now despite all his years alive. He blamed it on Son Goku, and that was the only lie he ever believed.

All that was certain was that your destinies were inexplicably entwined, for better or for worse. If you were to fall, you would do so together.

Black observed your face, lost in thought, unconsciously memorizing every subtle curve and edge of you, engrossed in nothing but the mortal that he refused to live without. And though he had doubted many things in his life, he did not doubt you. Not that he would ever tell you of course. Sighing, he kept walking with you at his tail, an unfamiliar heat stirring in his body.

Your fluctuating heartbeat crescendoed into a deafening roar as Black led you forward, approaching the glittering altar. This was it…..

“Give me your hand,” Black commanded, his voice echoing around the chamber.

“W-what? Why?”

The look Black gave you was enough to compel you to shakily offer him your trembling hand, and you didn’t say any more.

Without warning, a searing blaze of pain ripped through your palm, startling a yelp out of your mouth. You felt his hand squeeze your wrist and watched in shock as a spray of blood splattered into the bowl.

“Black?!”

Fast as lightning, a stream of crimson gushed out from his own hand, his blood mingling with yours as it swirled to the bottom. You hadn’t even seen him move, but knowing him, you honestly shouldn’t be surprised anymore. Black grabbed your bloody hand with his, holding it over the bowl as the pale, argent light suddenly seemed to grow stronger in brightness and warmth. He raised his head and closed his eyes, and began chanting in some ancient language that you couldn’t understand. It occurred to you how beautiful he looked, head crowned in silver locks, the starlight dancing on the tips of his long, thick eyelashes. You could almost imagine him an angel, but deep in your heart you knew he was anything but that. And yet you still loved him. Your younger self would have laughed at the absurdity of it all, but you didn’t care anymore.

You watched in rapt fascination as he continued chanting, his Adam’s apple bobbing mesmerizingly in his neck, silently engraving the details of his face and the texture of his hand into your memory to cherish forever.

You didn’t even notice that he had stopped cantillating until he let go of your hand, your wrist knocking against the edge of the altar.

“Come,” Black voice was nearly a whisper, beckoning you towards the sapphire springs, apprehension building in your stomach along with something else that you hadn’t felt for the longest time.

“There’s only one last thing we need to do for this ritual to work. Take off your clothes and get in.”

“W-what?” Your face flushed a deep red color, and your entire body grew hot enough to rival that of the hottest fires. You forgot the twinging agony in your hand and almost thought he was joking if it hadn’t been for the look on his face.

“Just do it before I lose my patience,” he snarled threateningly, or so it seemed to you.

In reality, it was anything but that. Many nights he cursed this borrowed body that he made his, not believing that a God such as him could ever fall to the vices of lust like a mere human. Black had held back his instincts for so long that he was more than ready to ravish you. He would make sure that by the end of the night you would be his and his alone, so dominatingly his that you wouldn’t ever think of any other man other than him. Not that anyone else other than him deserved you anyways.

You had a vague suspicion where this was heading, well, not that vague anymore, but you couldn’t care less. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want him as much as he wanted you, because you too had been holding back. Letting out a shaky breath, you hesitantly began to undress, feeling him boring holes into you the entire time.

If he hadn’t known better, he would have thought that you were teasing him with the way you were tantalizingly slowly peeling off you tattered clothing. Every inch of skin that you exposed made it harder and harder to keep his composure and he nearly roared in frustration. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, you finished and began stepping into the pool, trying not to reveal too much to his prying eyes.

Could he have made it any more obvious?

***

The sound of what could only be clothes violently ripped off halted your progress, only waist-deep in the water, but you didn’t even have time to turn around before you were nearly tackled into the pool, a noisy splash resounding through the space. You didn’t even care that there was an enormous opening in the ceiling as hungry lips clashed against yours, teeth clashing painfully as a roaming tongue forced itself into your mouth. Hell, if there had even been anyone there to watch, you’d be sure to give them a show. You felt his hands wandering all over your body as he greedily devoured your mouth. Black obviously didn’t understand what taking it slow meant, but really, who would have expected anything less.

Couldn’t let him have all the fun now, could you?

In a surge of aggressiveness that Black was unfamiliar with, you yanked on his hair, pressing your naked, wet bodies hard against each other drawing out a delicious growl from his plump lips. All shame and inhibition were discarded. A feverish heat ignited in your nether regions and it took all of your self-control not to beg him to hurry up.

“Oh I’m going to enjoy this,” Black purred huskily in your ear, and you subtly wondered if it was even legal to be so attractive. But damn, you were ready to be a criminal. Anything and everything for him. Evidence of his arousal weighed hot and heavy against your thigh, and you couldn’t contain bucking your hips up into his.

“Black please….” You mewled against his chest, nearly in tears with wanton desire.

To your complete irritation he ignored you, instead settling to pepper open-mouthed kisses and bites to your neck and lips, one calloused hand massaging your breast before switching over to the other one. His robust, battle-hardened fingers danced dexterously over your nipples, and for a moment you thought you had died and gone to heaven.

Well, guess you could wait a little bit…..

Black swooped back to your lips, shoving his wet appendage back in your mouth and your tongues entwined in a fight for dominance, though you would inevitably lose. Panting loudly, you tugged at his bottom lip as he squeezed your ass, reveling in his pleased hum. He needed more, so much more of you. Every inch of you had to be his, and he yearned to taste it all. Dampness matted his long, black tresses to his forehead and gleaming droplets slid down his chest, and in a fleeting moment you briefly humored yourself with the idea that Black could have been a supermodel.

“What’s so funny?” Black rumbled, tilting his head questioningly at the tiny smirk on your face as you imagined him posing in front of a camera. What a time to let your imagination cut loose.

“Nothing.” You stammered, blushing even harder if that was possible.

“Oh really? Then I’ll give you something to smile about.” He didn’t give a warning as you felt a thick finger suddenly penetrate your soaking folds, making you squeal.

“Give me a signal next time!”

“I don’t really hear you complaining,” he grinned gloatingly as he began to pump his finger inside you while his thumb circled your clit.

You immediately forgot your retort and bit back a moan, his self-satisfied smirk growing wider as he watched you writhe. When he added in two more fingers, you really did let out a cry, the sound of your voice like music to his ears.

He couldn’t hold back anymore.

Black retracted his fingers only to be met with your whine, his dick pulsing and swollen with need. He led you backwards towards the side of the holy springs, ironically the place where you were indulging in your lust, and pushed your back against the soft moss and lifted your legs up, positioning his hips. Licking his lips, he gazed down at the sight of you, spread out just for him, your entire body aching with unmitigated eagerness.

“Black,” you whimpered, dragging him forward until the head of his leaking dick pressed against your vagina. “I need you.”

That was all he wanted to hear. In one violent thrust, he shoved the entirety of his huge member inside you, your walls stretching painfully to accommodate his girth. You dug your nails into his arm, legs quivering against his waist as you gritted your teeth to prevent a sob. He stayed still as you adjusted, impatiently waiting until you gave a small nod to signal that you were okay. A small, experimental thrust was enough to send you reeling and soon you were begging for more. The pain gradually lessened until it was overtaken by absolute pleasure. He angled his hips and hit the one spot deep inside you that made your vision go white, head dizzy from the feeling.

“More, Black, please more!” You almost sobbed into his neck, clenching your legs tighter around his hips, feeling his solid muscles flexing against your body.

“Only if you think you can take it.”

“I can! Please Black harder!”

“That’s a good girl.” His pace increased to inhuman speeds and he rammed into you even harder as you screamed in ecstasy. Every thrust managed to hit its mark, his head dipping to suck on your nipples while you clawed at his back, spurring him on.

The taut coil in your lower stomach was about to become undone, and by the jerking of his hips, he was about to too.

“Cum for me.” That simple sentence demolished the little control you had left and you let go, bliss hazing over your eyes and causing your silky walls to contract around him. Merely seconds afterwards he spilled inside you, letting out a throaty groan into your neck as you weakly caressed his back through it.

Shuddering, Black pulled out and you felt an uncomfortable sense of loss, as if a part of you had been torn away. You let out a complaining whine, reaching your arms out to touch him. He clambered out of the pool, turning back to haul you out onto the cloudlike moss as you promptly collapsed on top of him.

“That was amazing,” you smiled weakly, all the energy draining out of your body. You could feel thick liquid dripping down your quivering thighs, but at the moment you couldn’t care less.

“Mmm,” Black responded, tucking your head into his neck possessively and you didn’t have enough stamina left to try to coax anything else out of him. Even then, his grip was so secure, not that you would ever try to break out of it.

***

“Your mine Y/n,” Black murmured into your ear, and you could hear the triumph in his voice. “And you always will be. Now no one will ever be able to take you away from me.”

Your eyes began to droop and you were too tired to say anything else, but you knew that he was already aware of what you would have said. The rest of the world dissolved into nothingness, leaving only the two of you, entangled in the delicate web of what was called love. You listened to his heartbeat, focusing your rapidly fading attention on the thumping within his chest as the water cooled on your bodies, yet you felt no cold. And for the first time in a long time, you forgot about all your sorrows, all your shame and anger and fears and whatever else the world had burdened you with. For once, you could just be content, knowing that you were in his arms. They weren’t the arms that had brutally killed billions, no, to you they were something so much more. And if you were labeled a sinner for it, then you would gladly call him your greatest sin.

[astarisms]

one in one thousand

pairing: natan, ganthea, raphriel word count: 1387 summary: new years eve means little, when you’ve lived for millennia, but it’s special this time around. notes: for the @presentsfromsatan gift exchange, happy holidays and a very happy new year @boobsyournoseboob!

Natalie laughed at Lucifer’s expression as Laila passed her another full cup, cheeks flushed with glee and the effects of all the drinks she had consumed already. 

“I don’t think you need another,” he said, plucking it out of her hands as soon as Laila’s back was turned. She pouted, leaning heavily against him, reaching halfheartedly for it.

“Don’t be such a sourpuss,” she whined, and his eyes narrowed.

“You’re drunk.” 

“It’s New Years Eve!” she protested. “And aren’t you what the kids call the devil?” He lifted an eyebrow at her as she poked him in the chest, amused at the point he suspected she was trying to make, and pulled the cup further out of her reach. 

“I’d be more than happy to watch you drink yourself sick if I wasn’t the one who’d be cleaning up your mess,” he said, though it lacked the bite he might have directed at anyone else. She watched forlornly as he set the cup on the table and pressed a water bottle into her hands instead.

“Killjoy,” she muttered under her breath, swaying on her feet even as she twisted the lid off and took a drink. He might have laughed if the entire room hadn’t spun into a frenzy all at once, people scrambling towards the TV. 

“One minute left!” someone, Kristi maybe, called over the commotion, and Natalie’s sulky expression disappeared, lit up with excitement. She grabbed his arm and pulled him into the throng of people, using him as a plow to get her to the front. 

“Hey—!” he snapped, though Natalie largely ignored his protesting, pressing herself tightly against his side and peering eagerly at the countdown on the screen as it ticked off the final seconds of the decade. 

Lucifer had seen enough passing of centuries, of millennia, that New Years held no appeal to him. But the unadulterated joy on her face did, as she chanted with the rest of the people in the room, all the way until the last three seconds. Then she turned abruptly, as if finally feeling his eyes on her, and pushed up on her toes to press her lips to his instead of finishing the count. 

Surprised, he didn’t even have the time to react before she was pulling away when her friends began cheering. His question must have been written on his face, because she smiled cheekily.

“They say whatever you’re doing at the stroke of midnight is what you’ll be doing all year long. And I decided,” she said, reaching up to tap his nose, “that I want to be kissing you all year.”

She didn’t wait for a response, instead tucking herself under his arm, not interested in watching him sputter.

“Happy New Year, Lucifer.”

x

Anthea pulled her coat tighter around herself as she shouldered her way through the crowded downtown streets, barhoppers and partygoers lingering on every corner and in every alley in preparation for the new year. 

The club was another block away, and she was already running late for her shift. She glanced into a store with TV’s lining the windows, eyes catching on one of the largest displays of the New Year’s Eve party, and most importantly, the countdown to midnight blazing across the top.

11:57.

On another night, she could have made it there just in time with little problem. But with as many people as there were, packed into the square like sardines, she was going to have to accept the fact that she would be late, and therefore lose out on a few valuable minutes.

I should have left earlier, she thought as she scanned the crowd, searching for the best way to navigate the endless throng of people when her gaze snagged on something red, bright and furious as her own, and then—

Green. As bright as grass on a sunny day, as deep and raw and jagged as uncut emeralds, there were the eyes that haunted her dreams on the rare occasion she had them. And they were getting closer as Gabriel cut through the crowd like a knife through butter, and Anthea had nowhere to go, trapped by a wall of strangers and the intensity of his stare.

He was different now. Not only his hair, but in how he carried himself. That human phrase came to mind then, one that had never applied to beings as infinite as they were, but that seemed apt in describing the change in him.

New year, new me.

He stopped in front of her, and she was a little shaken by his boldness, by the new determination in him when he had never attempted to approach her before. Some deep, buried longing reared its head inside of her.

Time had not eased the ache that had come with her choice, with losing him, despite how much easier it had become to ignore it.

“Anthea,” he whispered, though she heard her name far more clearly than she heard the buzz around her that should have drowned it out. 

And then the square erupted. People cheering and clasping loved ones and clapping in delight as fireworks went off above. She was late, and she couldn’t linger any longer. Taking advantage of Gabriel’s surprise, she slipped past him into the crowd, though not first without brushing her fingers against his, where they hung clenched by his side.

Her own burned for the rest of the night.

x

Raphael started when the doors to the infirmary slammed open, interrupting the peace and quiet of his work. He spun around, calming when he saw it was only Uriel.

“What are you—” Uriel cut him off, striding over to grab his arm.

“You work too much. It’s time for a break,” Uriel declared, and Raphael glanced back at the white, sterile room helplessly. 

“But—”

“No buts. We’re getting you out of here. You spend too much time looking at the same four, white walls.”

Uriel, though significantly shorter and slimmer than him, was deceptively strong, and kept his  grip on Raphael firm until they were well on their way out of the hospital. He couldn’t fathom where Uriel was taking him, until the calm, serene streets of Heaven were replaced with the chaos of earth.

Raphael blinked, stunned and confused, and Uriel shot him a conspiratorial smile that made his heart skip a beat. 

“Come on,” he urged, leading him through the crowded streets, using Raphael’s height and bulk as a buffer against the surge of people.

“Where – Where are we going?”

Uriel didn’t reply, only shooting him another eager look over his shoulder, and Raphael decided that whatever it was, it didn’t matter. He would follow Uriel to the ends of the earth if it meant he continued to look at him like that.

The crowd began to thin out after a few minutes, and Raphael loosed a sigh of relief. Uriel heard it, and glanced back sheepishly.

“Sorry. I should’ve brought us closer to the edge,” he said, and Raphael shook his head, refusing the apology. Avoiding souls was his everyday, but seeing Uriel’s excitement wasn’t. His chest warmed when Uriel’s smile returned, dragging him to a secluded spot that had a good view of the sky.

Raphael stared at the few visible stars for a few moments in silence, before looking over at his companion.

“What are we doing here?”

“Do you know what today is?” Uriel asked instead, seemingly ignoring his question. Raphael hesitated, not sure if that was a trick question.

“Um… Wednesday?” 

Uriel laughed under his breath, shaking his head.

“It’s the last day of the year. New Years Eve.”

“Already?” The question slipped out before he could stop it, and Uriel laughed again. It seemed like humans had just celebrated the start of a new year. It was common knowledge, but always off-putting, to be reminded of how short human lifespans were. 

“Yes. And humans have this tradition, at midnight—”

Before he could finish, the sky erupted with light and color. Uriel grinned.

“They’ve created their own light. Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yes,” Raphael breathed, his chest feeling tight as he watched his partner from the corner of his eyes, illuminated by the explosive rainbows that lit the night. 

Uriel reached over and took his hand, twining their fingers together, and Raphael squeezed.

[theworldbrewery]

A playlist for my current party: 4 idiots + their honorary cult grandma, four with new names and one with someone else’s--god I love them. they requested a playlist breakdown so i’ve placed it under a cut for brevity. I’m always soft for making fan content for the campaigns I’m in tbh.

Alice: an elf-turned half-orc after a reincarnate spell went awry, her wild magic caused her marriage to fall apart when she accidentally burned down her home. She’s looking for control over the magic that is ruining her life.

Remmy: a man of many names, Remmy is an aasimar cleric with more secrets than even the other party members are aware of. He’s untrusting and full of fear, but the party gets him to open up--against his better judgment.

Gadao: an earth genasi from an isolated monastery, he’s looking for an identity of his own after realizing he may not be an incarnation of an ancestral spirit after all. Looking for his place in the world, the party’s fast-paced life contrasts with his steady nature.

Leap: an elderly tiefling ranger, she grew up in a cult of pain and left it only by good fortune. Her taste for adventure--and a need for closure--keep her on the road, though she looks forward to seeing her family again.

Blue: an aarakocra bard, Blue awoke with no memory and promptly joined a shady merchant vessel as a good-luck musician. They’re always down to fight, curious, and ready to hoard as many items as they can get their hands on.

Anger | Sleeping at Last

I love the way this song opens, the energy it has. Favorite lyrics are “it all spills out/reckless but honest words leave my mouth,” which maybe speaks to my love of intra-party conflict… but I also have a soft spot for “and suddenly I’m someone that prays/last-minute man of faith” given the campaign’s attention to the divine. I’ve really loved leaning into that. It feels like this song has threads that connect to every character.

Hellfire | Barns Courtney

God, I love the chorus to this song. I feel that in this party, Leap and Remmy have the strongest links in these lyrics, between Leap’s simmering fury at her cult and Remmy’s...everything. There’s a period of the song that isn’t quite an instrumental, but has sort of mangled lyrics/rap, and though I can’t quite make it out, one bit sounds like “roll the dice” -- a fun nod to D&D as a whole and the risk-takers among the party.

Blood I Bled | The Staves

My favorite lyric here is “raise your banners and ride to war/throwing ‘round your name.” This song feels like a challenge to the world, suitable for a group of adventurers just forming a party. The singers and songwriters mention the song as one of “no, I won’t take this bullshit,” and that strong message really speaks to the PCs.

Hustler | Zayde Wølf

Hustler is all about coming out on top, and y’all are “turning up the heat” all the time. “Looking at the city like I already own it” feels like a foreshadowing moment to me; one day, when you all are level 10, 15, 20, you might reach an unmatchable power, if you live long enough to see it. 

Homemade Dynamite | Lorde

I chose this song for the absolute clusterfuck D&D parties can be. “Don’t know you super well/but I think that you might be the same as me/Behave abnormally” encapsulates something really funny about party members getting to know each other and start to trust each other, even when the rule might still be “I’ll give you my best side, tell you all my best lies,” and your secrets and private problems haven’t yet come to light.

Nervous | X Ambassadors

The chorus of foreboding in “cause what comes up must come down”  is, how do I put this? Iconique. I think this song especially fits Leap and Alice, both of whom are aware of how quickly things can go awry but put a cheerful face on their own worries. Even when nothing’s wrong (“and I can’t complain, it’s amazing”) they know things could go south quickly.

An Act of Kindness | Bastille

This song best fits Leap and Gadao’s relationship, especially when they met. “Oh I got a feeling this will shake me down/Oh I’m kind of hoping this will turn me round” seems to speak directly to Gadao pulling Leap away from the cult and giving her the opportunity to be better than she was. On another level, the party’s bonds are born from acts of kindness and friendship--Remmy buying lorebooks for Alice, Leap making tea, Gadao stepping in to defend the party from the mimic.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Lorde

Despite the name, this has something for everyone, I think. “Turn your back on Mother Nature” suits Alice’s vendetta against the Forest Father, “Help me make the most of freedom/and of pleasure” fits Blue’s brand of hedonism, “It’s my own remorse” echoes Leap’s regrets. Gadao alone doesn’t quite fit in here...unless… >:)

Kicks | Barns Courtney

This is a Blue song! “I’ll show you how to live for free” the artist sings, and Blue’s freewheeling lifestyle seeking “kicks” matches this energy really well. If Blue is “a wild one” “singing in the midnight street,” they’re getting their kicks with this party for sure. Blue lives without being tied down, theoretically limitless. 

Hail to the Victor | Thirty Seconds to Mars

This song is about Leap, no question. “Another life, another love/another kill, another drug” fits into Leap’s two lives, one in the cult and one out of it. And in this new mission against Babylon Lionel, she’s seeking a revenge of her own, though it’s one against her childhood more than her actual enemy.

I’m a Wanted Man | Royal Deluxe

Remmy “would kill again to keep from doing time,” without a doubt, so this one’s for him. Constantly warning he’s trouble for his friends, saying that “you should never ever trust my kind” isn’t too far off. Like Remmy, this song is edgy, but with a hesitant moment of emo-ness that makes the performance of darkness something a little more genuine.

Big God | Florence and the Machine

Alice is not a faithful woman, but she’s unfortunately entangled in some religious nonsense she hates. At the same time, I feel lyrics like “you’ll always be my favorite ghost” refer best to Alice’s fraught relationship with her wife. My favorite line here is “Sometimes I think it’s getting better/and then it gets much worse,” which is essentially Alice’s experience of her wild magic. Deep down, she might even be drawn to the magic’s chaos, but she can’t help but resent what it’s taking away from her.

Wisdom, Justice, and Love | Linkin Park

This one’s for Gadao. It starts off so peaceful and hopeful, the instrumentals overlaid with a speech by Martin Luther King, Jr. But as he starts to list the evils of the world, King’s voice, so steady and confident, is warped. Gadao’s own faith experience becomes warped by the power games of the people around him, and even as he’s seeking “wisdom, justice, and love,” he can’t escape the effects of materialism and violence around him.

Icarus | Bastille

Some folks live steady lives, but not these people. Adventurer’s lives tend to burn bright, hot, and short. From Leap’s perspective, most of the party is made of kids who don’t know the world yet. Are they “digging their own grave,” “too close to the sun?” Despite their ride-or-die commitments, Leap can see all of you risking yourselves--and for what? Who do you want to be, at the end of it all? A wife and mason? A sage and monk? Or do you want greater things than that?

Losing My Religion | Dia Frampton

I can hear so much of Remmy’s opinions in this song, saying “I’m choosing my confessions, trying to keep an eye on you” but realizing, over and over again: “Oh no, I’ve said too much.” As he tries to keep up his own facades, Gadao and Leap’s own faith collides with the beliefs of a cult leader and Alice struggles with a religion she doesn’t care for at all.

Start a War | Klergy and Valerie Broussard

Like Hail to the Victor, this song is all about Leap’s conflict with the cult of Loviatar and the Mother of Martyrs. Even though the Loviatar cult might be gone, the spirit lives on. My favorite line for Leap here is “bang, shots fired/pain is what you desire,” for the decision to challenge Babs to a one-on-one fight. But is it Babs who is starting this war, or Leap?

Friction | Imagine Dragons

This one kind of gives me Gadao vibes with the lyrics “when you’ve made it/won’t you tell me what to do?” After all that pressure to fulfill the expectations of other people, he has to get out of the middle and move on, maybe even become someone new. Key line is “why can’t you let go/like a bird in the snow/this is no place to build your home,” reminding Gadao that he doesn’t have a place in this world. Not yet.

Transcendental Youth | the mountain goats

“Sing, sing for ourselves alone,” sings John Darnielle, and maybe that’s what makes this feel so much like Blue. Maybe it’s the lyric, “cedar smudge our headbands/and take to the skies/soar ever upwards,” calling to Blue’s dislocation from time and place, flying away from their problems. Blue doesn’t remember their childhood, and has no idea how old they are. Even if they did know, their lifespan is short. They live every day like the halcyon days of youth, footloose and fancy-free indeed.

Champion | Barns Courtney

I swear this is the last Barns Courtney song. But this song is the resilience of coming through fights and perils and dangers. My favorite lyric is “Oh, Lord, save my soul/take my pain and turn it into gold” which, incidentally, is exactly what happens when you level up. The party’s struggles translate to strength, to influence, to skill, and even riches.

In the Woods Somewhere | Hozier

On the one hand, this could be about any combat in the dark woods at night (*cough*, Remmy killing that dragonborn, *cough*). But more importantly, this song is about Alice. She struggles with a power she doesn’t understand, with something’s eyes on her that she can’t fight. The best she can do is run from the danger and try to survive it. Whatever eyes are watching her now, Alice better take care. Favorite line? “I clutched my life/and wished it kept/my dearest love/I’m not done yet.”

Natural | Imagine Dragons

Natural tells the party one way of surviving. The line “you gotta be so cold/to make it in this world” suits Remmy’s outlook so well, the one he pushes at the rest of the party. The line “rather be the hunter than the prey” speaks well to Blue’s tactics--preferring to act from above. Alice and Leap know better than anyone that “nothing ever comes without a consequence or cost,” and Gadao may be the only one ‘holding the line’ against a harder heart. Another song with bits and pieces associated with everyone.

Dead Hearts | Stars

There isn’t a specific lyric here that jumps out at me, no line that tells me who this song is for. This is the song for the ones who die--those who have, and who will. We might not be there yet, but this is a song for acknowledging the sacrifice of your friends and allies. The knowledge that you knew them once, and in some ways, their ghost stays with you. Or maybe they’re revived, or reincarnated, but there’s always something a little different.

The Projectionist | Sleeping at Last

Eventually the session ends, and the story closes, and the lights come up. “We’re leaving our shadows behind us now/we’re leaving, we’re leaving it all behind for now,” Ryan O’Neill sings. We’re putting on costumes, telling a story for each other, and maybe the game ends every time, but maybe it makes us brave. I’d like to think so. 

The lyrics to all these songs can be found at Genius.com. Thanks xx

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

A Twist of Fate ch.19 -Flowers of the Sun

The Elementalist au

Beckett x mc (Oriana)

words: 2200

Warnings: NSFW

Master List (Catch up here)

  This AU is set after everyone graduates Penderghast, and Beckett and Oriana were never friends. Fate, however, may have a different plan for them.

   Tuesday morning, Beckett woke up with a smile. He didn’t have to go to work today, and he was so excited to spend it with Oriana. They lay there in bed as a tangle of limbs, kissing lazily as the rays of sun peek into his bedroom through the curtains. The kisses were slow, intimate, and full of promise. She smiles at him in between each one, and his heart soars with happiness. He felt a mess, as they basically fucked all night, yet he wasn’t tired one bit. They would both fall asleep in the aftermath for a while, and then wake back up and go at it again.

  Life is pretty perfect.

Oriana made a tiny whimper and he felt her wince slightly. He immediately broke the kiss they were in the middle of.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

She chuckled lightly. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Oriana, I know you winced. Just tell me.”

She rolled her eyes. “If you must know, Beck, I’m getting my period soon. It was just a little cramp. Nothing out of the ordinary in the life of a female, I promise.”

“Oh.” His face flushed. I suppose that’s something I need to get used to.

“Hey, Beckett…” She started hesitantly. “I was wondering something. You don’t even have to tell me if you don’t want, but…I was wondering…how many girls have you been with?”

He froze. She’s asking now?

“I’m only wondering because…well, I never really saw you with anyone before. I’m just curious.”

He blew out a breath. “I’ve dated three girls. I didn’t particularly enjoy my time with any of them. I only went on dates because my parents begged me to. They were all the ‘correct sort of woman.’ I wasn’t interested, really, but…” He trailed off, blushing.

“…But?”

“I did sleep with two of them.”

She nodded at him, a mischievous smile breaking onto her face. “How long had it been for you…ya know. Before me?”

“Awhile.” He responded shortly.

“Why didn’t you like them?”

He kissed the top of her head. “Because they weren’t you.” He told her boldly.

Her breath hitched. “What?” She whispered.

He tilted her head up so he could look her in the eye and the words came tumbling out. “I’m in love with you, Oriana. It’s always been you. I’ve never wanted anyone else. But I didn’t think I’d ever know what it would be like to love you openly. So, I’ve just loved you in secret for years.”

Beckett wasn’t sure what he expected from his confession…but he certainly was not expecting the reaction he got. Her eyes narrowed, and he could practically see the fury building in them. She sat up and climbed out of bed.

“Ori?” He asked, confused.

She didn’t respond, just grabbed one of his shirts and left the room. He sat up, completely dumbfounded.

What the hell just happened? What is her issue?

He waited a moment, seeing if she would come back, but she didn’t. He ran down the stairs and saw her standing in the kitchen, staring out the window, her body shaking slightly.

“Ori?” He asked again, stepping up behind her. “What’s wrong? I’m not expecting you to say it back to me, but I feel it radiating from you, and I know you feel it from me. Why are you mad? Should I have waited?”

She whirled around and slapped him across the face, sending him stumbling back. His hand on his aching cheek, he saw anger in her, could feel nothing but anger towards him.

“What did I do wrong? Why are you so furious with me?”

Her eyes were watering, and she was shaking. “You’ve always loved me, Beckett? Really? Don’t fucking lie to me!”

“I’m not lying, Oriana, what is going on? You were grinning at me two minutes ago!”

Her eyes were becoming darker with each passing second. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why? Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“I…I’m telling you now!”

“I was in hell for years, thinking nobody would ever want me. That I would never be good enough for anyone but Chase, that he was the only one who could ever love me. If you had just SAID SOMETHING, maybe none of it would have happened!!!” She shouted.

“I didn’t know what was happening, Ori!” He shouted back. “You never talked to me! You saw me near you, you felt me near you, so why didn’t you say anything?? Why was it up to me??”

“Because you didn’t have someone tearing you down every day, Beckett!”

His heart broke, watching her breathe heavily, gulping for air. She’s about to have a panic attack. I’m giving her a panic attack.

“Ori…” His voice cracked, and he swooped her into his arms, holding tightly as she struggled to get loose.

“Let me go, Beckett.”

“No.” He said firmly.

“Dammit, let me go!!”

“No!”

She tried to break free one more time, but he held on tight, finally feeling her begin to relax into him, her breathing slowly returning to normal.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured, confident enough to loosen his grip and stroke her hair with one of his hands. “I’m so sorry. You’re right. I should have said something. I love you. I’ve always been in love with you, and I’m not going anywhere. You deserve everything good in this world, Ori. And I want to give it to you. I want to give you everything.”

“I’m still mad at you.”

“Then be mad at me. It’s not going to make me love you any less.”

She pulled back, looking him square in the eyes, her own still darkened. And then her lips were on his, he could taste the saltiness of her tears, could still feel her anger. He moved his mouth to her neck, sucking and biting, causing an illicit moan to escape her mouth. Her madness was driving him, he couldn’t help but be pissed off too. He grabbed his shirt from her and yanked it over her head, throwing it across the room, hearing the crash of something as it toppled over.

She reached between them, grabbing his dick, and pumping hard. He gasped at the heat, at the necessity, at the pure fire between them. He stopped her, reaching around and picking her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he carried her up the stairs…into the room she’d been staying in before they were lovers. He laid her down on the bed and she looked at him questioningly.

“I have a question for you, now, Ori. One of your first days here you saw me in my room practically naked. You ran in here and then several minutes later I could have sworn I heard you moaning. I went to work hard as a rock, wondering what you were doing in here. So, enlighten me. Were you touching yourself?”

She smirked but said nothing.

“Show me.” He demanded. “Show me how you touch yourself when you think of me.”

She licked her lips, sliding a hand down her neck, caressing one breast, then the other, before trailing down her stomach, reaching the apex of her legs. He watched her finger slide between her folds, circling her clit, her chest heaving, her eyes watching him watch her.

“Is this what you did that day.” He growled.

She nodded, her back arching slightly as she hit a good spot.

“You wanted me then.” He confirmed.

“Yes.” She moaned.

“Is that the first time you ever thought of me like that?” He questioned, slowing stroking himself, his eyes still on her glistening pussy.

“No” She whispered, shaking her head.

His eyes flicked up to hers and he smiled slightly, seeing them their usual honey color again.

“Tell me when you first wanted me.”

“Freshman year. You were swimming in the lake and for that moment you looked so…free. Peaceful. Happy, even. I wanted to know what that felt like. I wanted to know what you felt like.”

He paused his movements. Freshman year.

“Before you were with Chase?” He asked, losing focus on the physical pleasure, on the visual pleasure of her.

“Yes.” She breathed, her movements stopping as well as she eyed him curiously.

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and just sat on the bed. “Wow.” He muttered as he buries his face in his hands. There was silence in the room as he took in the information.

“When did you first want me?” She asked, hesitantly.

He lifts his head back up. “When we had detention freshman year. Also before Chase came along.”

“You argued with me the entire time.”

“And you were jumping around trying to catch books with your hands instead of using magic. You were wearing a flowering shirt, showing off your sun mark, a short skirt that rose along with you…teasing your black panties…and your breasts were…” He trailed off, the tips of his ears turning red. He sighed, laying down and pulling her to him.

“Ori…you said once it was fitting that I was the one you ran into in the bar, that this is the second time I’ve changed your life. When was the first?”

She sighed. “I was hoping you forgot I ever said that. It was when I was a junior and I was failing. Just giving up on life altogether…We were all given different assignments about different species of flora. You gave a presentation one day about sunflowers, how the yellow petals represent the sun, the solar plexus, and happiness. You’ve always been really into different plants. Anyway, you said it’s a ray of light in a world of darkness. A world full of deceit, violence, and lust. So many obstacles, so many people feeling trapped. The sunflower is an example of embracing yourself, because the plant is unique in both lifespan and stature, lasting longer than most, and standing tall. This makes them confident and strong. The sunflower flaunts its beauty, completely unashamed at how others may see it. A symbol to be a light onto yourself. It just made me realize that life is what I make of it. I was always in darkness. But I could choose to be the light instead. And maybe someday I would even see it again myself.”

“Plus, the Greek myth that goes along with it, about unrequited love. Forever gazing at the one you love, even though they do not love you in return.” Beckett added.

She smiled sadly. “Yes. The nymph who loved Apollo, but he fell in love with someone else. The person he loved was killed, and Apollo banished the nymph into the earth as a flower.”

“But even in flower form she still loved him and would spend all her days watching him as he moved the sun across the sky, just like sunflowers move to face the sun.” He finished.

They stared at each other a moment before Beckett spoke again in a hushed tone. “The whole thing was about you. Seeing you would brighten my day. You’ve always been my own personal ray of sunshine. And I was the nymph. Unable to reach you, but always loving you from afar.”

 “We’re really dumb.” Oriana muttered.

“Yes. I do agree with that.”

“I could have been happy this whole time. I’m still mad at you for that.”

We both could have. Instead we were both miserable. But… Another thought occurred to him.

“Ori, what happened to your scars?”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“They’re gone.” He stated. “They disappeared when I kissed them. There was a look on your face for just a fraction of a second, like you knew something.”

She bit her lip. “I suppose there’s no point in denying it. Remember I said Shreya couldn’t heal them properly because of the magic I used?”

Beckett nodded.

“Well. In an effort to not be stopped, I added in that only the purest and unconditional love can heal me. Obviously, I didn’t think anyone actually loved me. Shreya came along, and as my friend she loves me, which unfortunately let her seal my wounds shut, but they weren’t gone, and it took a while to recover from the loss of blood. And they still hurt forever. Honestly, I never thought the scars would disappear, and I hated her for it. I hated her for coming home early.”

“Do you still wish you had died?” Beckett asked quietly.

“After you gave that presentation…no. I needed a push to get back in the right direction. And you gave me that, without ever knowing it.”

“How are you feeling now?”

“I…feel…good. Really good, actually. Better than I have in…geez, I don’t even know how long.”

Beckett’s heart was fluttering. “Only pure and unconditional love?”

She nodded shyly. “I knew then you must have loved me a very long time if you healed them like that. And the way you made love to me that night…I’d never felt anything like that before.”

She gently pressed her lips to his, savoring the sweetness of their joined lips. “I love you too, Beckett Harrington.” She whispered. “And as long as we have each other…we’ll have our sun.”

     @emerald-bijou @feartheendlesssummer @elainew13 @brightpinkpeppercorn @paisleylovergirl @dottie-minerva-mikas @symonde @kendrasgue @timmagicktoad @pbmychoices @flyawayboo @the-soot-sprite @emichelle

@xo-endlessmayhem-xo @divergentofhogwarts @rissah @syltti78 @damienswhore @askdana @giulia2372 @wickedgypsymoon @the-writerly-night-owl  

@aworldoffandoms @endlessly-searching-for-you @nerdynstoned

@annekebbphotography @gardeningourmet @zigortega4life @eileendannie @thequeenofcronuts @drakewalkerfantasy @friedherringclodthing @coffeebeandragon @drakewalker04 @alesana45 @mfackenthal

[skaian-fiddler]

State of the Webcomic

Im not sure what I wanted this to be when I started writing it. I know that as of late, Homestuck, in terms of its fanbase and its surrounding politics, has been pretty bleak. And I know that it feels like there arent alot of us left that care anymore. So I guess this is going to be something of a chronicle of the comic, and its involvement in my own experience. If youre just here for classpecting memes, feel free to totally disregard this. Otherwise… strap the fuck in I guess? Theres a nonzero amount of words about to come at you. For this 4/13, this is my account of Homestuck.

On April 13th, 2009, some guy with a shitty url published the first page of an indie webcomic. As I have come to understand, this fact would eventually become something of a ‘big deal’. At the time, however, it was not. I wouldnt be aware of its existence for quite some time.

Some years passed, and people started learning that this weird thing existed. The webcomic had survived through its fledgeling stages, and had managed to gain enough momentum and a fanbase large enough to keep above the surface and on peoples radar. At this stage, the only thing I knew about the webcomic was a single word, whispered in hushed tones: “Homestuck.” A few more years passed and the fandom began to grow steadily in proportion to a roster of increasingly convoluted characters, as well as the hair-brained complexity of the comics plot.

And then, Cascade.

I heard rumor of a webcomic that went off so huge that it fucking broke Newgrounds. Suddenly the fandom was omnipresent, and potentially out of control. From what ive picked up, it was a pretty rad time to be a nerd. “Somewhere, a soused uncle deliberately shatters china on the floor. Muddy livestock is decorated, and then lost track of. The question ‘Who's mule is this?’ at times can be heard over the din. This is now your reality.”

But, as much as I was starting to learn exactly what Homestuck was, I was hearing equally as much in terms of negativity about its fandom. Of their overwhelming presence during conventions, their reputation for immaturity, the torrents of unsealed gray face paint flooding the lobbies of unsuspecting hotels. So, I stayed away. This was like, late middle school for me, and there was no way in hell I was going to risk putting my image-obsessed ass on the line for a bunch of rainbow blooded zodiac alien shitlords and their apocalyptic tendencies. So, I stayed away.

It really was the first time something pop culture had ever gotten this big. Openbound hit, and it got bigger? Somehow? More trolls? Jesus christ. The fandom kept growing at an exponential rate, faster than people could process it, and so much so that nobody else knew how to handle it.

And then it… stopped.

The Gigapause, I think it was called. At the height of their power, the fandom was left with nothing, no new content to grab hold of, no new development to fuel their fan works, no anything. The fandom starts to lose speed. A spot of hope happens, during act 6 and is subsequently dashed against the rocks below as the Omegapause kicks in. I wasnt paying attention. I was busy, there was work to be done trying to get into college.

And just as suddenly as it had come, it was gone. The webcomic concluded in a way that implied that not only the readers, but the fictional characters themselves were freed from the scope and size of their own work. Anyone still reading watched Collide, in what I can only imagine to be 20 minutes of pure catharsis. The fandom got hit with Act 7, and that was it.

This whole time, that entire span of that seven years, nobody had ever ‘told me about Homestuck.’  Until, about a year after it ended, a friend of mine told me that the way I talk reminded them of a character called Karkat (after what Im assuming was a fairly aggressive bitch fest about something or other). Upon my asking what in the fuck kind of name Karkat is, they nostalgically smiled, and asked me if I had ever read a certain webcomic.

We went back to my dorm and they pulled it up on my computer. We read for a couple hours. I didnt think too much of it, but it was amusing enough. I put it away, and forgot about it until one lazy day like month later. And then I think it was Rose dropping a bathtub in Johns hallway that sealed the deal. I dont think I have to tell anyone following a fucking classpect blog about how addicting reading Homestuck is. I got really into the classpect system, as you can see. Im damn near constantly nerding out about videogame-esque class systems and personality studies, and I thought Homestuck’s god tier system was so fucking creative and interesting. And the music, holy shit. A flash webcomic? With LEITMOTIFS?!?

I eventually figured out that thinking Homestuck is cool in 2018 was… lonely. The people that still were fans of the comic enjoyed it in hushed tones, and in shame. It was sad, in ways. A part of me wished that I had gotten to experience it at its peak. I am not one such member of this fandom that has existed when the work was in its primordial stages, and I do not for one second claim to have been at the apex of the movement.

So what does this shitty history lesson good for anyway, right? What does it all mean? It has been nine years to the day, this 4/13, and Hiveswap is the only thing from keeping what was once considered a monumental aspect of pop culture from fading into complete obscurity. I am hopeful of the future of Homestuck, but I cannot help but also feel that one day, in the near future, it will be lost to time. And so, here we are today. I walk amongst the bones of the sun-bleached empire that used to be Homestuck. Not many people live here anymore. One day, it might be empty. One day, it might be that nobody remembers it at all.

But not as long as you are here, reading horseshit like this rant. Not as long as someone is drawing shitty fan art of the Mayor, not as long as someone is shamelessly jamming out on the bus to Sburban Jungle, and not as long as someone out there who cant think of the word ‘Pisces’ without instinctively associating it with the color fuschia. Humanitys drive to build things, to create, is rooted in an effort to outlast their own lifespan. And the same is true for this thing that we have all come to love (hate?), and for all of the thousands of people that have found some connection with each other over a common bond. I know that this whole rant has had some serious cringe potential, but know this, you bunch of nerds: As long as you are out there, reading, enjoying, then the fandom is still alive and well. And better yet? You arent alone.

Happy 4/13, kids.

“I keep having these dreams. Great empty cities, silent roads stretching for miles. The Earth from space, all dark. Not a single light to guide me home. But if someone really came from another world, what would the Earth look like to them? A wilderness? A wasteland? I don't think so. Even after thousands of years they’d see a world shaped by our hand in every aspect of its being. They'd see the cities and the roads; the bridges, the harbors. And they would say: Here lived a race of giants.”

-Acclaimed Actor and Sleeping Prophet, Charles Dutton

-Alexandra Drennan, The Talos Principle

[talabib]

How To Live A More Relaxed And Productive Life

Many of us feel overwhelmed with busyness. Whether it’s our smartphone and the eternal ping of urgent emails or our domestic life and all its attendant demands, there’s always something vying for our attention. What we sorely lack is time to relax and do what we want with our days. But, even when we do have time to ourselves, we often spend it worrying that we’re not accomplishing as much as we should, or wondering what the next item on our agenda is.

So how can we create a life that’s both productive and enjoyable? To find out, we’ll need to explore why some people feel as though they have all the time in the world while others never seem to have enough.

In this post, you’ll learn why most modern workplaces have developed cultures of busyness, and why it’s now normal to have much of your free time monopolized by meaningless meetings. Furthermore, you’ll learn how you can change your attitude toward time, so that you can become more relaxed and make time in your busy life for the people that matter to you. You’ll also learn what you can do right now to feel less busy and get more done.

Learn exactly what you’re doing with your time, even if it scares you, by keeping a log.

We may not readily admit it, but most of us have an obsession. Laura, for instance, is obsessed with time, and the ways in which we pass it. She’s so obsessed, in fact, that she’s spent years logging how much time she spends on different activities. Her logbook is extremely precise. For example, she could tell you that, on Friday, July 14th, 2017 she got up at precisely 6:45 a.m., spent exactly 45 minutes on paperwork from her child’s school and later, for 30 minutes, dealt with her mail.

Prior to logging her time, Laura thought she had a pretty good handle on how she spent her days. Her logbook, however, quickly showed her that she had had no clue.

For instance, despite often telling people she worked 50 hours a week, she was shocked to discover that she was actually averaging only 40 hours. And she’s not the only one prone to this overestimation. In 2011, a study by the Bureau of Labour Statistics found that people claiming to work more than 75 hours a week were typically overestimating by around 25 hours.

This raises an important question: If we’re not working as much as we think we are, where is our time really going?

Surprisingly, many people don’t want to know the answer to this question. Although rigorous time tracking provides a deeper understanding of how you’re actually spending each week, many of us are resistant to the idea.

For starters, we may worry that tracking time will show us just how many hours we’re wasting on things that aren’t meaningful or beneficial to us or our loved ones. Second, we may fear that tracking our time will constantly remind us of our finite time on earth, which will lead to anxiety about misspending each minute.

Despite these potential downsides, it is found that time tracking allows us to recalibrate our lives. Armed with greater knowledge, we can make positive changes in how we spent our time.

For instance, Jane discovered she was spending almost 327 hours per year on reading trashy magazines, she became motivated to carve out time to plan her reading habits more carefully. After making lists of good books and scheduling time to buy them, she replaced her consumption of celebrity gossip with a more nourishing diet of quality titles.

Make your hours memorable by filling them with exciting moments.

We all have memories, good and bad, which shape who we are today. Interestingly, our memories also play an important role in how we perceive time.

In general, the more memories we make, the more time we’ll feel we’ve had. The reason comes down to how the human brain processes its environment and archives what happens in it.

As we move through daily life, much of what happens to us is quickly archived in the depths of our brain, or thrown out completely. For instance, can you recall what you were doing on today’s date three years ago? Perhaps you can if something particularly noteworthy happened, but if it was a routine day like any other, you probably can’t. Why? Because we don’t think about our established routines. In fact, this lack of thought is why our routines feel so comfortable.

Unfortunately, the result of this lack of thought is that our brains don’t catalogue our routine time. For instance, if you take the same work commute 235 days of the year for around four years, then your brain will typically decide to store all these commutes – approximately one thousand of them – as a single trip! And just like that, one thousand of your precious hours have been whittled down to one. Worryingly, if your brain receives too much sameness such as this, entire years can vanish into memory black holes.

So how can you stretch your perception of time and avoid losing the hours to your routine? The key is to create memories that are intense or novel in some way. Taking vacations, for instance, is a surefire way to generate such memories. Our brains make memories out of novel experiences because they can’t be sure what they’ll need to remember in the future. As a result, they store everything that’s new.

Therefore, if you want to stretch time, have an adventure. For example, in our everyday lives, we may well remember just a handful of interesting occurrences in the course of a fortnight. But by vacationing in an exotic place, you’ll probably obtain that number of novel experiences before you’ve sat down to breakfast.

Our own insecurities keep us constantly busy, so learn to free up your calendar.

Most of us feel so busy all the time that we naturally assume every other hardworking professional must feel the same way. When scheduling a meeting with Jeff Heath, a senior director in a technology company, Laura was shocked when, after asking him when he would be available for an interview, he breezily replied that he was free all week, so when was good for her? How did a senior professional have so much free time?

When pressed on how he managed to keep blank spaces in his schedule, despite working in corporate America, Jeff replied that it was all thanks to his mind-set.

Crucially, he avoids the mental trap that so many other professionals get caught up in. Jeff thinks that despite their lamentations about not having enough free time, most professionals actually don’t like having white space on their calendar. Why? Because having a jammed schedule gives people mental reassurance that they’re doing something productive with their time. For instance, we spend so much time in meetings because they make us feel busy and useful.

According to this busy-is-good attitude, if something is scheduled at a particular time, with particular people, it’s automatically more important than unscheduled events.

Imagine that a couple has arranged for a plumber to deal with a leak in their apartment. The partner who has nothing in his calendar at work that day is much more likely to stay home and let the plumber in than the partner who has several scheduled meetings. But let’s think a little deeper. Are those meetings really more important than the uninterrupted time the other partner might have spent thinking about his biggest work dilemmas? Possibly not.

Avoid this detrimental mind-set by ignoring the temptation to fill all your spare time. You don’t have to value busyness just because the world does. Don’t say yes to meetings simply because you’re theoretically available. And if you’re feeling guilty for declining them, remember that the dirty secret about meetings is that, more often than not, they take up more time than is justified by the issue they’re addressing.

Don’t believe it? Just look at the meetings on your agenda and you’ll probably see that they’re all 30 minutes or an hour long, regardless of how much they need to accomplish. So say no, unless they’re genuinely important.

Spending time with loved ones can stretch our perception of time, and may even increase our lifespan.

Friends enrich our lives, make life feel less lonely and give it more meaning. But what does the time-management literature have to say about lingering with our treasured companions? A strict time-management schedule is incompatible with spending long afternoons and leisurely evenings with friends, right?

It’s a common misconception that time management is incompatible with leisure time with friends. In fact, a smart way to manage your time is to make friendships your priority. Why? Because devoting more time to your important relationships not only makes you happier; it can actually create a perception of having more time.

For example, in a survey of how people spent one particular day, those who spent the most time with family and friends on this day were also most likely to report feeling that they had the most amount of time in general. Conversely, those who felt they had the least amount of time in general were also the most likely to report spending less time with family and friends during this day.

Importantly, it was not the case that those with the lowest time-perception scores actually had less time than any other respondents; rather, it’s that spending time with friends and family is usually a relaxing, feel-good experience, and it therefore makes you feel as though you have all the time in the world. Time spent on, say, Twitter, won’t produce this feeling.

Furthermore, in another survey, those who strongly agreed with the statement “Yesterday, I made time for my loved ones” were 15 percent more likely to also say that, generally, they had enough time in their lives for everything they wanted to do.

Importantly, making time for those you care about may not only stretch your perception of time, but may also, in the long run, literally stretch your time. How? Well, research has shown that people with stronger social connections tend to have a longer life expectancy than those without such social connections.

This is likely the case, because good friends and close family encourage you to look after yourself, as well as care for you when you get ill. These healthy upsides to friendships mean that, when it comes to longevity, maintaining tight relationships is approximately equivalent to stopping smoking.

Accept the constraints on your time and lower your expectations.

Like many of us, Laura has a big family and a hectic life. During a recent and particularly chaotic week, she found herself thinking of those authors who seem to spend months away from their families in secluded garrets, with oodles of time to write. Why wasn’t she able to spend her time like that? Many of us have experienced this uncomfortable disconnect between our expectations and reality, but what can we do to overcome it?

The best thing to do is to alter our expectations of how we should be spending our time.

Importantly, once Laura made a conscious effort to lower her expectations about how much she should accomplish, she seemed magically able to achieve more in the little time she did have. For instance, she found she was suddenly able to write a first draft of a magazine article in a few hours, and could edit that draft in 90-minute windows of time between other domestic commitments.

How did this miracle happen? Well, when we lower our expectations of how much we can achieve, we no longer waste time worrying that we should be doing more. We often cause ourselves pain when our expectations become bigger than reality. This self-imposed suffering then leads to hours of worry about our unproductivity, which, in turn, prevents us from savoring the time we actually have.

Therefore, rather than holding big expectations about all the time you should be spending on your work, the key to long-term success is to consistently set and meet low expectations.

Consider the advances that a small child makes in learning language. Their development is not a matter of long hours of strict language lessons and harsh punishments for gradual progress. Rather, children advance slowly, and are praised for every new word acquired and for each minor linguistic breakthrough. To make a similar amount of progress toward our own goals, we adults should also adopt expectations of slow and gradual advancement.

Spend your money on enlarging pleasant experiences and minimizing bad ones.

We each have an equal amount of time allotted to us – 168 hours a week to be exact. However, while our weeks contain the same number of hours, our bank accounts don’t contain equal funds. But where does our bank balance figure in our quest for happiness? Does money make us happy, or is it simply the case that the more money we have, the more problems we can expect?

Interestingly, when it comes to money and happiness, it’s how you use your money – not how much money you have – that matters.

Money can boost happiness if you use it to buy things that facilitate pleasant experiences. These experiences later become fond memories – continuous wells of pleasure from which we can draw mental sustenance. Importantly, cherished memories aren’t subject to the diminishing returns of happiness that physical objects usually are. For instance, a child given a new toy will initially be excited to play with it. After a while, though, she will likely grow bored and stop using it. In other words, it will stop bringing her joy. In contrast, if you buy a tent and then use it to go camping, that tent may bring you lasting happiness. Why? Because you will forever remember the starry nights and campfires of that trip.

Additionally, if money is used to boost our happiness, we must rethink how we measure such happiness.

When we consider how happy we are, we often think only of life satisfaction, which refers to how well we think our life is going in general.

So, if you have a great job and a good house, you may consider yourself happy. However, this life satisfaction may not be the best measure of your happiness. Indeed, your moods are often much more driven by your hour-to-hour experiences than by your overall life satisfaction. For instance, your mood may often be depressed if you have a grueling daily commute to that dream job.

With this reality in mind, we can begin to assess which of our daily activities bring us happiness, and which make us miserable. We can then strategically use our money to either enlarge or minimize these activities. For instance, research has shown that commuting to work is often the unhappiest time of a person’s day. If this is true for you, too, then you could use your money to move closer to the office, thus reducing that commute and boosting your mood. Though this may cost a significant amount of money, it would be an important investment in your happiness.

Have time for adventures.

Ever feel like time just slips from one end of the hourglass to the other? No one can make more time, but a few simple strategies can make the time we have feel richer and fuller. Here are five tips on how to feel less busy while getting more done.

1. Figure out where the time really goes. People tell themselves plenty of stories about where the time goes (“I’m so busy! I have no free time at all!”) but why not find out for sure? Try tracking your time for a week. You can use an app, a spreadsheet, a notebook – whatever works. Most people discover that they have some pockets of time that can be redeployed for meaningful activities if they wish.

2. Plan in little adventures. When time isn’t memorable, we don’t remember it. That’s how whole years can disappear into memory sinkholes. Try planning in little adventures to make the days stand out from each other. These adventures don’t have to be elaborate. Grab colleagues for a picnic lunch. Take the kids to a playground after dinner. Just do something to switch up the routine.

3. Be careful with “yes.” If you want to have time for adventures, you can’t pack your schedule with things you don’t want to do. One strategy? When asked to do something in the future, ask yourself if you’d do it tomorrow. That makes the opportunity costs clearer. If the answer is that you’d move things around or cancel things to fit in this new obligation, then by all means say yes. But if the answer is absolutely no for tomorrow, probably that should be your answer for the future, too.

4. Slow down. Rushing just makes you feel rushed. Try noticing a moment when all is calm. Consciously call your attention to sights, sounds, details. Take deep breaths. Savoring good moments makes them seem longer – and that can stretch the experience of time.

5.Put friends on your calendar. People who spend lots of time with family and friends actually feel like they have more time than people who spend equivalent quantities of time watching TV or perusing social media. A dinner party takes effort, but it’s more rewarding than looking at photos on Instagram of other people’s dinner parties. Aim to schedule in relaxed time with friends this week. You’ll look forward to it – and feel like you’re the kind of person who has the time to get together with friends. That will make you feel less busy right there.

We all have the same amount of time each week, but our mind-set can greatly influence our perception of that time. Spending time with family and friends, and making fond memories, makes us feel as if we have more time. In contrast, worrying about our productivity and going through the motions of a boring routine can make us feel like we have less. In order to make the most of our time, it’s important to stop worrying, ditch the routine and start having adventures with those we love.

[fakesurprise]

Small Favours: beyond the pale

The shop is nothing special. A small sign outside, a couple in the windows telling people what they might find within. The interior is neat and tidy, with curious and general used items for sale. It feels nice, and the person behind the counter smiles, offers a greeting and barely pauses when I ask to speak with Minou.

“I am afraid I have no idea who you’re talking about; my name is Cam, and I run this shop.” “My name is Kris. He knows me. Please?”

Cam lets out a breath. “Go outside, around back. The door to the back room is open.” Nothing else. Not how I know the fae, not who I am, not asking why I am here.

I head out and around the building, finding the open door easily. The back room is clean as well. Tables for testing items, tables of priced items, garbage and recyclable. Minou is putting a toaster together, gloves on his hands, and blinks once when I enter.

“Kris.” His voice is even. His shadow is not, writhing behind him like a living thing.

“Minou. I won’t tell you who Gabe and I found for allies, or where we are in the fight against our family. You did more than we could have asked. You did – far more than I thought of asking.” The fae nods, his expression unreadable.

“I’ve seen a little of what you really look like. You showed more to my family. The Underwoods are –.” I shake my head. “Even with a few who were not there and can heal minds, the terror you invoked. You broke over two hundred magicians. Even the other fae never really saw you, did they?”

“No. Athel knows me of old. Almost no one else knows – what else I can look like.”

I move closer. The fae doesn’t move. “You do that, and then you just... return to working in a shop? Let yourself loose and then rein it in?”

“I have been.”

“And that’s why you’re back here and not dealing with customers?” Minou doesn’t move. He sets a screwdriver down slowly, looking almost surprised he’s bent it in half. “You are not helping.”  I take a deep breath, hold out my right hand. “This is for you.”

Minou walks over, picks up the small piece of red rock, fingers it slowly. “A piece of rock.” “A piece of the hate the Qis had for you, and for what your kind did. It isn’t much, in terms of healing. But we’re trying.”

Minou doesn’t drop it. He’s too old to lose control of himself. He pockets the piece of stone slowly, his dark eyes bright with stars behind them. “Thank you.”

“It is – not much, but all Gabe and I have managed so far. I doubt we’ll manage more, not in a lifetime. Gabe will live longer than I will, tied to the Qis, but none of us know how long. And you never need to thank me. Not after everything we’ve been through.”

“Does your brother need you?” Minou asks quietly as I reach the door.

I turn. “Pardon?”

“The family you are aiding to damage your own, your brother: do they need your power?”  “Why do you ask?”

“Because there is a new Court in the twilight lands that could, perhaps, be an ally for your new family as well. And you a bridge between them.”

“I –.”

“I can open up a door there when you need it. You wouldn’t be able to come back to earth, and move beyond the pale to survive there. I can give yo glamour enough for that, but your life would still be a human life, measured in human years.”

“The other Courts would hate that.”

Minou smiles. “I know.”

I thank him, get back into the waiting car outside and return home.

*

Fighting a magical war takes magic. Weeks. A month, two and I’ve used up every bit of magic within me. Everything I’d never used, a lifetime of energy spent trying to destroy the Underwoods. We’ll win, the family Gabe and I have joined, but it’s going to take time to break an empire. Time and alliances. I am dropped off two blocks away from the shop, and walk. It is almost not a surprise to find Minou walk up beside me and hand me a coffee.

“You have two people who were following you. The shop has been staked out since your last visit,” the fae says softly. “Cam doesn’t know. I’ve been dealing with them, and waiting.”

“Thank you.” He smiles. His shadow looks like just a shadow again, the smile slow and sad. “You won’t be able to return to earth, with this glamour on you.”  “I figured as much. This isn’t a talent you have.”

“Not at all. But I’ve had over a month to make sure it will work. What do you wish to look like, as a fae?”  “Me.” And I show him how I see myself inside my head, with the last of the magic I can call forth.

There is no judgement. Not from Minou. Just a nod. He finishes his coffee as we walk, waits until I finish mine, and holds out a hand. “Unless you wish to wait, Kris?”

“No.” I’m scared to wait. So much of me wants to stay, but I can do more, from the twilight lands. I can help the fae, I can help humanity.

“You can be yourself,” Minou whispers, as gently as his nature allows.

“Thank you,” I get out again, and I hug him. The fae actually stops dead at that, and waits until I am done, and pushes me lightly.

One step. A second. There is a flash of pale light, and then the sky is nothing but twilight. I can hear the river they made the far Court at, and look down at my body. The same colouring as the last glamour Minou made for me. No eyes that see for miles, no, but I have four arms because who wouldn’t want those, and I walk easily toward the Court. I’m just outside it, feel the energy of it as I enter.

I walk for almost a minute before wind blows about me that wasn’t there a moment ago.

“Bus?”

The wind ruffles my hair, and then the rest of my body in a moment. “Kris? You sound like Kris?”

“It’s – me. A better me. I try and explain, but Bus is gone between moments, the fae off to tell the others. They haven’t changed, of course. Fae don’t change, not as humans change. Trul pokes my tail lightly, asking why I wanted it.

I shrug, “I didn’t see many fae with tails. I wanted to stand out a little still.” That wins a soft laugh in reply.  

The others say hello, slightly wary. I explain why I am here, and to what end. Druul winces at what the other Courts will think, but Fury is definitely amused and Bus giggles softly about us.

“You’ve lost your family,” Fury says later, after food hasd been had and a place found for me to sleep.

“I’ve gained friends. I consider it a good trade.”  

The fae studies me, fire dancing lightly in his eyes. “Even losing your brother?” “He’s – something other than human now, and can embrace that. We talked. We don’t like it, but – we have to atone for what our family did, to fight them any way we can. This is the best move I can make now, and when they learn about it, it’s going terrify them.”

And Fury asks nothing else, and pushes nothing else. Fae live a long time, and questions can wait for a longer time to them.

Minou returns, sometimes. He passes information from the the other Courts, and from earth to us and back. Time does not pass in the twilight kingdoms as it does in the human world. There are no seasons as such. Just twilight sky, sometimes rain. Snow so rarely it is celebration.

It is only when Minou makes a comment about Starbucks on one visit that I begin to understand.

“When did Starbucks go out of business?” I ask before he returns back to earth.

The fae turns and looks back at me. “Some years ago,” he says warily.

“How long will this glamour – you said I would only have a human lifespan.”

“I know. It seemed a lie you needed to hear.”

“How long will I live?”

“As long as your friends, I think,” he says. “I can promise that much.”

“Minou.” I wonder what it is costing him to do this. But I know he’ll never tell me.

“Some costs are always worth it, Kris. You left Gabe to help human relations with the fae, and have done so. And terrified the Underwood’s so much they are in hiding, and your name is a tale they tell to frighten children, even more than mine.”

I don’t ask if Gabe is still alive. I’m not sure I could bear that. I watch him leave, and wonder if he knows that I could him among my friends as well.

[joonsjeon]

Moving

Pairing: Reader x Mark Words: 2500 Genre: Angst, RealLife!au

This one actually is kind of personal, but I needed to let it out somewhere. Hope you still enjoy reading.

(Y/N) moved to Seoul years ago with her parents because her father had gotten a promotion with a new office in South Korea. Obviously, there was a first shock, but things had turned out great in the end, most important of all, she had found the love of her life. Best friend. Soul mate. Mark. The two met each other soon after she moved there, not able to speak a word of Korean which he could help her with later, they had managed to arrange a date. And that date led to the best relationship she had ever had. It was almost time to celebrate your four year anniversary…if a sudden incident wouldn’t have changed your life.

You were playing video games on your PC when the bad news arrived. Your mother rushed to your room, not even taking the time to knock, but just pushing the door wide open, staring directly at you. She did not cry, but the way her eyes glistened and just how her whole body seemed to deflate any second, shoulders hanging down and her whole appearance seeming as if the life had been sucked out of her, you already knew it was no good news. You just looked at her, waiting to spill whatever she had to say. “Your father’s boss is in Seoul to meet him. He arrived without warning…so your Dad figured that whatever he came for, all the way from the US, won’t be good news.” She said quietly, her voice was numb as she probably didn’t even have the time to figure out how she should react to any of this. And neither did you. “What the…don't you have any clue what this is about?” you asked back, irritated of the sudden seriousness that lingered around you. “No. Well unless you jump to conclusions. It most likely has something to do with his current job position.” She tried to explain, but her words were nothing new because that was exactly what crossed your mind the second she told you what was going on. Making that connection was easy, regarding the fact that this situation surely wasn’t new. You lived in a lot of different cities already in your relatively short lifespan. The process of moving was almost a part of you. “Let’s not jump to conclusions then…” You murmured not willing to let your mind go through all the possible outcomes. Maybe it was nothing…just an important project he needed to talk about in person. But deep down you already knew you were lying to yourself. You knew what would happen as soon as your dad entered this house later that day. Yet, you sat in your room, telling yourself little white lies…

All would be good.         All would be fine.

 The day passed painfully slow. Neither your mom or you had heard a word from your father, all you could do is patiently wait for him to come home at the end of the day and talk. And that moment came. You heard the front door open, keys turning and then falling back into its place. He audibly slipped out of his shoes, threw his keys and his jacket on the small bench that stood in your entrance hallway and as you walked upstairs into the living room, he made his way down. Your mother already stood there, waiting. He sighed…and at that moment you could basically read his mind. This situation was all too familiar. A lump formed in your throat and tears shot into your eyes, but you did not allow them to come out. Not here. You had to be strong for your mother who could not hold in her tears for a second, even though your father had not said a word so far. “My boss told me that…that my job right now will no longer be available. They can’t afford this position anymore." At that second my mother collapsed into his arms, holding on to him tightly as she sobbed into his worn-out shirt. You just stood there, watching it all as if you would see it from a third-person perspective. “The good news is that they immediately offered me a new job. A smaller one…” he went on, clearly hiding the worst part about it until now. “But?” you went into it, already knowing what his next words would be, but still clinging to the last piece of hope that anything else than what you expected would be his answer. “But…that new job is back in America. We…we will move back to America.”

There were no words that lived up to the mixture of feelings inside you at that moment. You felt so much hate and anger. Because the process of moving wasn’t new to you, it was clear what it would mean. Losing friends and loved ones. Starting over. A new environment you had to adapt to whether it was what you wanted or not. Then, there was a lack of understanding how this god damn company could be so cruel to just put the news out there without any kind of warning. How on earth did they allow themselves to just show up and shatter your lives into pieces… again. You could no longer count how many times they made your family move by now. Still… this time it felt so much worse because Seoul was home for you. Moving was hard, even though showing and feeling emotions was not necessarily your main strength. This is why you immediately asked yourself: how must it feel for your mother? She was one of the most emotional people you knew, most likely crumbling under the thought of leaving everything behind… and she had stated many times that she had no energy left to build up a group of friends in yet another city. But most of all, there was a pain in your heart. Pure pain like repeatedly stabbing someone in the stomach with the world’s sharpest knife. Pain like someone had ripped your heart right out of your chest, smashing it on the ground like it was nothing but a bundle of flesh. The stinging feeling only spread from your heart to every other inch of your body, making you think of someone very specific. Mark… You immediately wrote him to come and meet up at your hideout spot. When he asked what was going on and why he needed to be there as fast as he could, you did not find the strength to tell him. You just begged until he agreed. Dragging yourself to the tiny playground a few streets away from your place was hard. Every step felt like there was a shackle attached to each of your feet, almost tying you down on the spot. Right behind the playground was a wood…a small green oasis with trees blocking the vision, therefore offering a private place in broad public. The place held a lot of special memories such as your first kiss. The first I love you being told. Watching the stars of the night sky through the light treetops. Laughing and crying together. Only a few moments later you saw your boyfriend lazily walking down the street in your direction. When he looked up and saw you standing there, a smile formed on his face, crushing your heart a little further as his pace quickened. “Hello, my love.” He said as he pulled you into an embrace not expecting you to now hold on to his shoulders for dear life, digging your face into his chest to inhale that lovely scent of his as if it would be the last time. Your tears fought their way back up and standing here like this, you had no chance to hold them back for a second longer. Against your will, against wanting to be your strong self, all your walls crumbled down when being with him. And so the tears ran down your face like pouring rain. “Whoa (Y/N), what happened? What is going on?” he asked with full concern and tightened his strong arms around your upper body to offer you some kind of support. You did not have the strength to collect yourself and when you tried to answer anyway, all that escaped your mouth were awful sobbing noises that made you cry even harder. He seemed helpless with you being so crushed in his arms because he did not know the reason for it all and did not know what he could do to soothe your pain. But it was needless to say that the longer you stood in his arms, crying your heart out against his chest, the closer he was to shedding tears himself. After a couple of minutes had passed in silence, nothing but an occasional car passing on the street, some birds chirping around you and still the sobbing noises slipping out of you uncontrollably, Mark decided to move this to said hideout spot of yours because he didn’t want you to feel any more uncomfortable than you already were. And he knew you despised crying in public. That fact alone only made him worry more as for what happened that made you out of all people tear up like this on the street. Your vision was blurry from all the water that had built up in your eyes and seemingly could not be stopped anytime soon. And even if it wasn’t for you crying, your head was overflowing with all kinds of thoughts on how you could ever start this conversation that you didn’t notice him starting to walk into the woods, whispering sweet nothings into your ear hoping that you could calm down eventually. “(Y/N), let me take off my jacket so we can sit on it.” Was the first thing you heard again, listening to his words as the buzzing sound in your ears took a quick break for once, before kicking back in again only seconds later. Without his strong arms holding you, you almost felt empty. Like there was nothing left inside you, but void, barely managing to hold yourself up straight. Mark lightly tugged on your sleeve which signaled for you to sit down. You did and got pulled right back into his embrace, as you landed on the soft grass covered by his jacket. Your back pressed against his chest, arms still wrapped around you as his other hand softly stroked through your hair. You felt his lips pressing gentle kisses on your skull every now and then as he waited for you to be ready to talk. Sitting down like this helped you calm down. Soon your sniveling became less and less, your breathing steadied and even though tears were still running down your face you finally felt like you could tell him. But you wanted to see him while doing so. You gently pushed yourself out of his hug and now sat across him. Your face must have looked terrible. Puffy from all the crying and the makeup you wore smeared all over the place. But he still looked at you the way he always did, full of love. You reached out for his hand and inhaled sharply, hoping that maybe you could explain things as quickly as possible and just go back to sobbing in his safe arms again. “I-I have very…bad news.” You stated with despair and barely collecting the courage to look into his soft, brown eyes. He just nodded and waited for you to continue, squeezing your hand to comfort you once again. “My…my father lost his job here. He uhm…he has a new one and it is-“ you tried your hardest to stay focused, but couldn’t do anything against your voice cracking mid-sentence. Biting down on your lips to pull yourself together one last time, you finally rushed the words out there. “His new job is in America. I will move back to America. I will move away from you.” His eyes were locked on yours, he blinked a couple of times, not believing a word you said. He could no longer bear to see that teary vision of yours and kept searching your face for any signs that would tell him you were not being serious right now. “You…you are joking, right?” he asked you, placing his hands on your cheeks to turn your head in his direction as soon as you looked away. The second you thought you had calmed down a bit, tears were running down again. “I wish I was…” you sniveled hard, biting your lip once again and pulling on the sleeves of your jacket at the same time because you were insecure what to do with your hands at this point. You saw his eyes turning slightly red, glistening up as the water built and the tears collecting themselves in the inner corner of his eyes. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck…” he cursed out, almost screaming at the end, but his voice was weak. He choked on his words even though they were simple and then he let down his guard. The emotions took over and he started bawling his eyes out on your shoulder. And that was all that happened for what felt like forever. Clinging to one another, wrapping your arms around the others upper body in order to hold on to something and an endless amount of crying. Every time one of you tried to say something only whispers came out, words that could not be understood because it all sounded like pure pain. And time went on. “What on earth am I going to do without you, (Y/N)? I can’t…I don’t want to live without you by my side.” He whined into your ear, digging his face into the crook of your neck as you let your fingers run through his soft hair. Internally you were still crying like a waterfall, or that’s what it felt like at least, but on the outside, there were no tears running down your face as if you had cried enough for one day. You had no idea what to answer and decided to stay quiet for now. How were you supposed to answer a question that was restlessly floating around in your own head? “When are you leaving?” he suddenly asked with more energy than before, wherever he found that last spark inside him. “I need to know how much time we’ve got left.” You shrugged your shoulders when he had lifted his head off of them because all of the detailed facts were not yet given to you. “I will tell you when I know.” “Alright…” he mumbled, absolutely incapable of coping with the news you just told him, but he wasn’t alone there. Only now that you had told him about it, you realized just how much of a big deal it was. So many people that you needed to talk to, so many more tears that would be shed. But no matter how much you thought about it all you always came to one conclusion that broke your heart like nothing else did – you would no longer be able to see him. The only one who truly understood you in all the possible ways. The only person you had ever felt comfortable with when it came to showing emotions and being vulnerable. The one who made you laugh even on your worst days…the love of your life.

[ynsespoir]

8 Ways Health Informatics Is Transforming Health Care

In today’s medicine, biggest challenges relate to improving health education and introducing digital elements to healthcare service provision. Medical schools around the world are struggling to provide the best knowledge to their students, but everything might become a lot easier with the help of medical informatics.

Instead of looking at technology as a must, medical professionals and educators have to look at informatics as more of a cultural renaissance of the medical world. While the staples of healthcare remain the same, a priority is to enable medical professionals to provide better services with less pressure and an “easier” workload.

With less pressure due to medial tasks, medical professionals can focus on diagnosis, efficient treatment and providing premium services to patients of all walks of life. Informatics allows us to do just that and it’s high time we realized the full extent of its benefits.

In this article, we will explore the eight ways health informatics is transforming healthcare and what both patients and doctors can get from this rapid advancement. If we apply all the cutting-edge methods correctly, we probably won’t “solve” or “eradicate” the most dangerous conditions, but we will eradicate everything else.

Understanding these eight ways gives us the opportunity to live a better, more active and, by all means, longer life.

Better and more efficient data storage

For a long period of time, most medical facilities used old-school methods to store patient records. Even today, a large number of hospitals around the world rely on paperwork and outdated methods of patient data storage.

This is perhaps the biggest problem in modern healthcare and has to be addressed as soon as possible if we are to advance as a society. The data storage problem can be best observed through these “sub-problems” of data storage:

Accessibility. Whenever a patient arrives at a facility, it takes a fairly long time for data to be reached and for the right information to be available to doctors. Although it might take the nurse three minutes to get the right file, this process is multiplied a hundred times each day and that leads to valuable time being lost.

Increased workload. Reaching data in outdated ways puts extra stress on the entire personnel of a medical facility. Again, these tasks might be small when looked at individually, but they put a strain on medical professionals and hinder their ability to work efficiently throughout their shift.

A lack of updates. If a patient has a new condition or something else happens, it’s hard to update data and provide a sufficient platform for further treatment.

Looking at these problems, we see that health informatics can solve them easily. Using cloud software and innovative solutions in the field of medicine, both patients and medical professionals can reach patient files and records in a second’s notice.

When they’re stored on a cloud server, patient files are safe from being lost, misplaced or damaged in case of a disaster at the facility.

With easily accessible data, doctors can establish a diagnosis and even consult with other professionals, if there is a need for such a thing. The whole point of digitalization is to provide easy access for faster processes throughout the healthcare industry.

Improved healthcare marketing

When looking at health informatics, we can’t ignore the aspect of health marketing. Marketing isn’t just proving that one medical practice is better than the other or that there are concrete reasons for such a choice. Healthcare marketing revolves around education and that makes it a unique niche, which must be understood by both marketers and healthcare professionals.

With informatics, private practices and hospitals have the ability to introduce their brand like never before. For example, one emerging trend in health care is informative blogs (more on healthcare education in the next section). Instead of just boasting with testimonials and reviews, practices can advertise through providing knowledge.

Many practices use social media platforms to introduce themselves to patients. With videos, images and informative content, a patient won’t have to estimate or “guess” what his or her experience will be like. Instead, they will establish an opinion right away and reduce the risk of subpar service immensely.

This modernization will reflect on the industry as a whole. Service quality is now transparent, which means that every single hospital or practice will be urged to up their service. As overall quality is at a higher level, there will be no more monopoly from one or two practices in an area. Services will be far more accessible and prominent.

Patient education and prevention

The moment we hear the word “modernization” in terms of medicine, we are quick to think about grand goals. Curing cancer, eradicating AIDS and becoming immortal are some of the biggest dreams of humanity as a whole.

Unfortunately, we don’t have the technology to solve these problems just yet. However, with informatics, we can get closer to this point. How can we exactly achieve that?

Education. Every person on Earth has to know about the specifics of their organism and the way it responds to different situations and stimuli.

Prevention. As every single person knows more and more, they won’t be able to cure cancer – instead, they will eradicate all the less serious conditions. When we become health-conscious as a society, we will achieve our goal of living better, longer lives.

Health informatics is just what we need to achieve this. More and more medical practices post informative blogs. They use content services like Essay Writing Lab and BestEssay.com to outsource content and focus more on service provision and less on marketing.

Think about it. If every person started taking better care of themselves, the average lifespan would be increased by at least ten years. Informatics allows medical professionals to share their knowledge and connect to their patients like never before.

Promoting self-monitoring

While the Internet of Things (more about that later on) is a prominent facet of modern medical advancements, doctors can’t be tasked with every single facet of a person’s well-being.

Like we’ve already mentioned, the key to improving medicine as a whole and helping people become more aware doesn’t lie in high-tech treatment methods. Instead, it lies in preventing conditions from even appearing and it’s all due to self-monitoring.

Health informatics isn’t just an exclusive to medical professionals. Samsung, for instance, has developed a line of health apps that include a heart-rate monitor and other things that be essential for monitoring your own health. The Apple Watch recently saved the life of a 46-year-old father due to the detection of irregular heartbeat.

We can also learn so much on our own. Using apps like PapersOwl Review, EduGeeksClub or EssayOnTime.co.uk, practices and hospitals can provide informative content that directly leads to the prevention of conditions and improving the knowledge of each patient. As we know more about our bodies, we will learn to recognize distress signals and approach them accordingly.

This will result in doctors having more time to devote to serious cases and patients who need their help. The future of medicine, through health informatics, will be everyone being their own doctor using verified knowledge, informative content and free-to-use resources. It’s something we all should look forward to.

Consistent monitoring of more serious cases

The Internet of Things (IoT) has become a game-changer in the world of medicine and has shown the potential to save lives and contribute to society as a whole. Connecting medical devices to the internet has been just an idea until the early 2010s.

Scientists have developed several methods that have helped us connect medical devices to the internet for wireless monitoring. Instead of having to go to the doctor’s office on a weekly basis, patients can get input, information and advice from their doctors in real time.

Going to the doctor’s regularly may be seen as a positive thing today, but it’s negative in the long run. This is because of two main reasons:

Valuable time is lost. With more serious conditions, every second counts. For people living in remote areas, having to go to a hospital can be a death sentence. With IoT, doctors can constantly monitor the condition of a patient and give them valuable pointers and input.

Medical professionals will work less efficiently. When people come to their office, doctors have to devote every brain cell to helping them. Doing this for an entire day puts a strain on the mind and decreases efficiency. With IoT-powered devices, we can limit visits to the doctor’s office to just emergencies. With more time and more energy, every treatment will be more fruitful.

In the future, we won’t be seeing our doctors at all. Imagine wearing special bracelets that allow you to contact your doctors and for him/her to monitor your condition. With real-time data, you will find it easier to take your health into your own hands.

3D organs and limbs

One of the most prominent problems in the healthcare industry is providing organs for people that need transplants.

Waiting lists can be static for up to a decade and people are losing their lives because they can’t get a new heart or a kidney. Health informatics is currently on the road to including 3D printing technology and software to standard practices.

How will this work, exactly?

A patient (who is constantly monitored by their doctor) will get a notification or an alert about their condition. Once they know they need a new organ, they will be ready to plan further treatment.

With 3D printers, we will be able to print real tissue cells and make ideal organs for every patient. Waiting lists will be nonexistent and organs will be created in front of the patient.

This movement might even go a step further. Imagine having a visitor to a surgeon every ten years to replace all the vital organs with new ones. Our lifespans will increase drastically.

Prosthetic limbs are already being 3D printed from titanium and other strong materials. Patients are living quality lives, paying less money than for custom prosthetics and there are no waiting lists. The future isn’t far off. Perhaps the only thing left to take care of is standardization, which is the least problematic obstacle.

Robotic service

In surgical procedures, no matter how adept the surgeons are, human error is still a big problem. The margin of error is small and one wrong move can end a person’s life.

In fact, medical errors are the third leading cause of death in the US, with 250.000 people losing their lives this way on a yearly basis. AI and ML are a big part of health informatics and we may soon see the inclusion of medical robots.

At first, they will do basic tasks like measure vital signs, bring equipment and assist human surgeons. But what will happen when technology becomes so advanced that human participation becomes minimal? In just a few decades, we may see robot surgeons with super-intelligent software that can detect anything.

Of course, they will be constantly monitored by software engineers, medical professionals and other people. Even though it seems futuristic, robotic surgeons bring these benefits to medicine:

They can’t become tired and make mistakes

They can be specialized

Doctors can control them

Not only will they perform surgeries, but they will help with recovery and detecting any other symptoms or conditions

Privacy

We can’t forget about data confidentiality and patient privacy. Using blockchain technology, medical professionals are already experimenting with new methods of data encryption.

There will be no more data breaches and issues concerning compromised data. Whatever a doctor writes, records or observed will be absolutely safe and out of harm’s way.

People will have more faith in their doctors and won’t hesitate to provide vital information. Out of all the benefits of health informatics, blockchain-powered privacy benefits are perhaps the closest to becoming a standard.

Remember – don’t get your hopes up if a new solution arises. It takes years for every discovery to pass tests and to become a standard. Blockchain, however, is around the corner.

Concluding thoughts

To understand the benefits of health informatics, we first have to understand the problems that modern medicine faces. There is a dire need for efficiency and better storage of patient data, as well as improving the contact between patients and medical professionals. The patient experience will continue to drive healthcare practices and procedures.

With cutting-edge solutions like IoT, healthcare wouldn’t be a thing of habit. Doctors will be able to track patients’ health status at any moment, with interactive alerts for treatment and everything else included. We might be a long way from accomplishing our goals, but we are definitely on the right track.

  from Health Care Technology – ReferralMD http://bit.ly/30wijRP via IFTTT 8 Ways Health Informatics Is Transforming Health Care Health Care Technology from topofbestone http://bit.ly/2Wltmho via IFTTT

[talabib]

How To Live A More Relaxed And Productive Life.

Many of us feel overwhelmed with busyness. Whether it’s our smartphone and the eternal ping of urgent emails or our domestic life and all its attendant demands, there’s always something vying for our attention. What we sorely lack is time to relax and do what we want with our days. But, even when we do have time to ourselves, we often spend it worrying that we’re not accomplishing as much as we should, or wondering what the next item on our agenda is.

So how can we create a life that’s both productive and enjoyable? To find out, we’ll need to explore why some people feel as though they have all the time in the world while others never seem to have enough.

In this post, you’ll learn why most modern workplaces have developed cultures of busyness, and why it’s now normal to have much of your free time monopolized by meaningless meetings. Furthermore, you’ll learn how you can change your attitude toward time, so that you can become more relaxed and make time in your busy life for the people that matter to you. You’ll also learn what you can do right now to feel less busy and get more done.

Learn exactly what you’re doing with your time, even if it scares you, by keeping a log.

We may not readily admit it, but most of us have an obsession. Laura, for instance, is obsessed with time, and the ways in which we pass it. She’s so obsessed, in fact, that she’s spent years logging how much time she spends on different activities. Her logbook is extremely precise. For example, she could tell you that, on Friday, July 14th, 2017 she got up at precisely 6:45 a.m., spent exactly 45 minutes on paperwork from her child’s school and later, for 30 minutes, dealt with her mail.

Prior to logging her time, Laura thought she had a pretty good handle on how she spent her days. Her logbook, however, quickly showed her that she had had no clue.

For instance, despite often telling people she worked 50 hours a week, she was shocked to discover that she was actually averaging only 40 hours. And she’s not the only one prone to this overestimation. In 2011, a study by the Bureau of Labour Statistics found that people claiming to work more than 75 hours a week were typically overestimating by around 25 hours.

This raises an important question: If we’re not working as much as we think we are, where is our time really going?

Surprisingly, many people don’t want to know the answer to this question. Although rigorous time tracking provides a deeper understanding of how you’re actually spending each week, many of us are resistant to the idea.

For starters, we may worry that tracking time will show us just how many hours we’re wasting on things that aren’t meaningful or beneficial to us or our loved ones. Second, we may fear that tracking our time will constantly remind us of our finite time on earth, which will lead to anxiety about misspending each minute.

Despite these potential downsides, it is found that time tracking allows us to recalibrate our lives. Armed with greater knowledge, we can make positive changes in how we spent our time.

For instance, Jane discovered she was spending almost 327 hours per year on reading trashy magazines, she became motivated to carve out time to plan her reading habits more carefully. After making lists of good books and scheduling time to buy them, she replaced her consumption of celebrity gossip with a more nourishing diet of quality titles.

Make your hours memorable by filling them with exciting moments.

We all have memories, good and bad, which shape who we are today. Interestingly, our memories also play an important role in how we perceive time.

In general, the more memories we make, the more time we’ll feel we’ve had. The reason comes down to how the human brain processes its environment and archives what happens in it.

As we move through daily life, much of what happens to us is quickly archived in the depths of our brain, or thrown out completely. For instance, can you recall what you were doing on today’s date three years ago? Perhaps you can if something particularly noteworthy happened, but if it was a routine day like any other, you probably can’t. Why? Because we don’t think about our established routines. In fact, this lack of thought is why our routines feel so comfortable.

Unfortunately, the result of this lack of thought is that our brains don’t catalogue our routine time. For instance, if you take the same work commute 235 days of the year for around four years, then your brain will typically decide to store all these commutes – approximately one thousand of them – as a single trip! And just like that, one thousand of your precious hours have been whittled down to one. Worryingly, if your brain receives too much sameness such as this, entire years can vanish into memory black holes.

So how can you stretch your perception of time and avoid losing the hours to your routine? The key is to create memories that are intense or novel in some way. Taking vacations, for instance, is a surefire way to generate such memories. Our brains make memories out of novel experiences because they can’t be sure what they’ll need to remember in the future. As a result, they store everything that’s new.

Therefore, if you want to stretch time, have an adventure. For example, in our everyday lives, we may well remember just a handful of interesting occurrences in the course of a fortnight. But by vacationing in an exotic place, you’ll probably obtain that number of novel experiences before you’ve sat down to breakfast.

Our own insecurities keep us constantly busy, so learn to free up your calendar.

Most of us feel so busy all the time that we naturally assume every other hardworking professional must feel the same way. When scheduling a meeting with Jeff Heath, a senior director in a technology company, Laura was shocked when, after asking him when he would be available for an interview, he breezily replied that he was free all week, so when was good for her? How did a senior professional have so much free time?

When pressed on how he managed to keep blank spaces in his schedule, despite working in corporate America, Jeff replied that it was all thanks to his mind-set.

Crucially, he avoids the mental trap that so many other professionals get caught up in. Jeff thinks that despite their lamentations about not having enough free time, most professionals actually don’t like having white space on their calendar. Why? Because having a jammed schedule gives people mental reassurance that they’re doing something productive with their time. For instance, we spend so much time in meetings because they make us feel busy and useful.

According to this busy-is-good attitude, if something is scheduled at a particular time, with particular people, it’s automatically more important than unscheduled events.

Imagine that a couple has arranged for a plumber to deal with a leak in their apartment. The partner who has nothing in his calendar at work that day is much more likely to stay home and let the plumber in than the partner who has several scheduled meetings. But let’s think a little deeper. Are those meetings really more important than the uninterrupted time the other partner might have spent thinking about his biggest work dilemmas? Possibly not.

Avoid this detrimental mind-set by ignoring the temptation to fill all your spare time. You don’t have to value busyness just because the world does. Don’t say yes to meetings simply because you’re theoretically available. And if you’re feeling guilty for declining them, remember that the dirty secret about meetings is that, more often than not, they take up more time than is justified by the issue they’re addressing.

Don’t believe it? Just look at the meetings on your agenda and you’ll probably see that they’re all 30 minutes or an hour long, regardless of how much they need to accomplish. So say no, unless they’re genuinely important.

Spending time with loved ones can stretch our perception of time, and may even increase our lifespan.

Friends enrich our lives, make life feel less lonely and give it more meaning. But what does the time-management literature have to say about lingering with our treasured companions? A strict time-management schedule is incompatible with spending long afternoons and leisurely evenings with friends, right?

It’s a common misconception that time management is incompatible with leisure time with friends. In fact, a smart way to manage your time is to make friendships your priority. Why? Because devoting more time to your important relationships not only makes you happier; it can actually create a perception of having more time.

For example, in a survey of how people spent one particular day, those who spent the most time with family and friends on this day were also most likely to report feeling that they had the most amount of time in general. Conversely, those who felt they had the least amount of time in general were also the most likely to report spending less time with family and friends during this day.

Importantly, it was not the case that those with the lowest time-perception scores actually had less time than any other respondents; rather, it’s that spending time with friends and family is usually a relaxing, feel-good experience, and it therefore makes you feel as though you have all the time in the world. Time spent on, say, Twitter, won’t produce this feeling.

Furthermore, in another survey, those who strongly agreed with the statement “Yesterday, I made time for my loved ones” were 15 percent more likely to also say that, generally, they had enough time in their lives for everything they wanted to do.

Importantly, making time for those you care about may not only stretch your perception of time, but may also, in the long run, literally stretch your time. How? Well, research has shown that people with stronger social connections tend to have a longer life expectancy than those without such social connections.

This is likely the case, because good friends and close family encourage you to look after yourself, as well as care for you when you get ill. These healthy upsides to friendships mean that, when it comes to longevity, maintaining tight relationships is approximately equivalent to stopping smoking.

Accept the constraints on your time and lower your expectations.

Like many of us, Laura has a big family and a hectic life. During a recent and particularly chaotic week, she found herself thinking of those authors who seem to spend months away from their families in secluded garrets, with oodles of time to write. Why wasn’t she able to spend her time like that? Many of us have experienced this uncomfortable disconnect between our expectations and reality, but what can we do to overcome it?

The best thing to do is to alter our expectations of how we should be spending our time.

Importantly, once Laura made a conscious effort to lower her expectations about how much she should accomplish, she seemed magically able to achieve more in the little time she did have. For instance, she found she was suddenly able to write a first draft of a magazine article in a few hours, and could edit that draft in 90-minute windows of time between other domestic commitments.

How did this miracle happen? Well, when we lower our expectations of how much we can achieve, we no longer waste time worrying that we should be doing more. We often cause ourselves pain when our expectations become bigger than reality. This self-imposed suffering then leads to hours of worry about our unproductivity, which, in turn, prevents us from savoring the time we actually have.

Therefore, rather than holding big expectations about all the time you should be spending on your work, the key to long-term success is to consistently set and meet low expectations.

Consider the advances that a small child makes in learning language. Their development is not a matter of long hours of strict language lessons and harsh punishments for gradual progress. Rather, children advance slowly, and are praised for every new word acquired and for each minor linguistic breakthrough. To make a similar amount of progress toward our own goals, we adults should also adopt expectations of slow and gradual advancement.

Spend your money on enlarging pleasant experiences and minimizing bad ones.

We each have an equal amount of time allotted to us – 168 hours a week to be exact. However, while our weeks contain the same number of hours, our bank accounts don’t contain equal funds. But where does our bank balance figure in our quest for happiness? Does money make us happy, or is it simply the case that the more money we have, the more problems we can expect?

Interestingly, when it comes to money and happiness, it’s how you use your money – not how much money you have – that matters.

Money can boost happiness if you use it to buy things that facilitate pleasant experiences. These experiences later become fond memories – continuous wells of pleasure from which we can draw mental sustenance. Importantly, cherished memories aren’t subject to the diminishing returns of happiness that physical objects usually are. For instance, a child given a new toy will initially be excited to play with it. After a while, though, she will likely grow bored and stop using it. In other words, it will stop bringing her joy. In contrast, if you buy a tent and then use it to go camping, that tent may bring you lasting happiness. Why? Because you will forever remember the starry nights and campfires of that trip.

Additionally, if money is used to boost our happiness, we must rethink how we measure such happiness.

When we consider how happy we are, we often think only of life satisfaction, which refers to how well we think our life is going in general.

So, if you have a great job and a good house, you may consider yourself happy. However, this life satisfaction may not be the best measure of your happiness. Indeed, your moods are often much more driven by your hour-to-hour experiences than by your overall life satisfaction. For instance, your mood may often be depressed if you have a grueling daily commute to that dream job.

With this reality in mind, we can begin to assess which of our daily activities bring us happiness, and which make us miserable. We can then strategically use our money to either enlarge or minimize these activities. For instance, research has shown that commuting to work is often the unhappiest time of a person’s day. If this is true for you, too, then you could use your money to move closer to the office, thus reducing that commute and boosting your mood. Though this may cost a significant amount of money, it would be an important investment in your happiness.

Have time for adventures.

Ever feel like time just slips from one end of the hourglass to the other? No one can make more time, but a few simple strategies can make the time we have feel richer and fuller. Here are five tips on how to feel less busy while getting more done.

1. Figure out where the time really goes. People tell themselves plenty of stories about where the time goes (“I’m so busy! I have no free time at all!”) but why not find out for sure? Try tracking your time for a week. You can use an app, a spreadsheet, a notebook – whatever works. Most people discover that they have some pockets of time that can be redeployed for meaningful activities if they wish.

2. Plan in little adventures. When time isn’t memorable, we don’t remember it. That’s how whole years can disappear into memory sinkholes. Try planning in little adventures to make the days stand out from each other. These adventures don’t have to be elaborate. Grab colleagues for a picnic lunch. Take the kids to a playground after dinner. Just do something to switch up the routine.

3. Be careful with “yes.” If you want to have time for adventures, you can’t pack your schedule with things you don’t want to do. One strategy? When asked to do something in the future, ask yourself if you’d do it tomorrow. That makes the opportunity costs clearer. If the answer is that you’d move things around or cancel things to fit in this new obligation, then by all means say yes. But if the answer is absolutely no for tomorrow, probably that should be your answer for the future, too.

4. Slow down. Rushing just makes you feel rushed. Try noticing a moment when all is calm. Consciously call your attention to sights, sounds, details. Take deep breaths. Savoring good moments makes them seem longer – and that can stretch the experience of time.

5.Put friends on your calendar. People who spend lots of time with family and friends actually feel like they have more time than people who spend equivalent quantities of time watching TV or perusing social media. A dinner party takes effort, but it’s more rewarding than looking at photos on Instagram of other people’s dinner parties. Aim to schedule in relaxed time with friends this week. You’ll look forward to it – and feel like you’re the kind of person who has the time to get together with friends. That will make you feel less busy right there.

We all have the same amount of time each week, but our mind-set can greatly influence our perception of that time. Spending time with family and friends, and making fond memories, makes us feel as if we have more time. In contrast, worrying about our productivity and going through the motions of a boring routine can make us feel like we have less. In order to make the most of our time, it’s important to stop worrying, ditch the routine and start having adventures with those we love.

[talabib]

How to live a more relaxed and productive life.

Many of us feel overwhelmed with busyness. Whether it’s our smartphone and the eternal ping of urgent emails or our domestic life and all its attendant demands, there’s always something vying for our attention. What we sorely lack is time to relax and do what we want with our days. But, even when we do have time to ourselves, we often spend it worrying that we’re not accomplishing as much as we should, or wondering what the next item on our agenda is.

So how can we create a life that’s both productive and enjoyable? To find out, we’ll need to explore why some people feel as though they have all the time in the world while others never seem to have enough.

In this post, you’ll learn why most modern workplaces have developed cultures of busyness, and why it’s now normal to have much of your free time monopolized by meaningless meetings. Furthermore, you’ll learn how you can change your attitude toward time, so that you can become more relaxed and make time in your busy life for the people that matter to you. You’ll also learn what you can do right now to feel less busy and get more done.

Learn exactly what you’re doing with your time, even if it scares you, by keeping a log.

We may not readily admit it, but most of us have an obsession. Laura, for instance, is obsessed with time, and the ways in which we pass it. She’s so obsessed, in fact, that she’s spent years logging how much time she spends on different activities. Her logbook is extremely precise. For example, she could tell you that, on Friday, July 14th, 2017 she got up at precisely 6:45 a.m., spent exactly 45 minutes on paperwork from her child’s school and later, for 30 minutes, dealt with her mail.

Prior to logging her time, Laura thought she had a pretty good handle on how she spent her days. Her logbook, however, quickly showed her that she had had no clue.

For instance, despite often telling people she worked 50 hours a week, she was shocked to discover that she was actually averaging only 40 hours. And she’s not the only one prone to this overestimation. In 2011, a study by the Bureau of Labour Statistics found that people claiming to work more than 75 hours a week were typically overestimating by around 25 hours.

This raises an important question: If we’re not working as much as we think we are, where is our time really going?

Surprisingly, many people don’t want to know the answer to this question. Although rigorous time tracking provides a deeper understanding of how you’re actually spending each week, many of us are resistant to the idea.

For starters, we may worry that tracking time will show us just how many hours we’re wasting on things that aren’t meaningful or beneficial to us or our loved ones. Second, we may fear that tracking our time will constantly remind us of our finite time on earth, which will lead to anxiety about misspending each minute.

Despite these potential downsides, it is found that time tracking allows us to recalibrate our lives. Armed with greater knowledge, we can make positive changes in how we spent our time.

For instance, Jane discovered she was spending almost 327 hours per year on reading trashy magazines, she became motivated to carve out time to plan her reading habits more carefully. After making lists of good books and scheduling time to buy them, she replaced her consumption of celebrity gossip with a more nourishing diet of quality titles.

Make your hours memorable by filling them with exciting moments.

We all have memories, good and bad, which shape who we are today. Interestingly, our memories also play an important role in how we perceive time.

In general, the more memories we make, the more time we’ll feel we’ve had. The reason comes down to how the human brain processes its environment and archives what happens in it.

As we move through daily life, much of what happens to us is quickly archived in the depths of our brain, or thrown out completely. For instance, can you recall what you were doing on today’s date three years ago? Perhaps you can if something particularly noteworthy happened, but if it was a routine day like any other, you probably can’t. Why? Because we don’t think about our established routines. In fact, this lack of thought is why our routines feel so comfortable.

Unfortunately, the result of this lack of thought is that our brains don’t catalogue our routine time. For instance, if you take the same work commute 235 days of the year for around four years, then your brain will typically decide to store all these commutes – approximately one thousand of them – as a single trip! And just like that, one thousand of your precious hours have been whittled down to one. Worryingly, if your brain receives too much sameness such as this, entire years can vanish into memory black holes.

So how can you stretch your perception of time and avoid losing the hours to your routine? The key is to create memories that are intense or novel in some way. Taking vacations, for instance, is a surefire way to generate such memories. Our brains make memories out of novel experiences because they can’t be sure what they’ll need to remember in the future. As a result, they store everything that’s new.

Therefore, if you want to stretch time, have an adventure. For example, in our everyday lives, we may well remember just a handful of interesting occurrences in the course of a fortnight. But by vacationing in an exotic place, you’ll probably obtain that number of novel experiences before you’ve sat down to breakfast.

Our own insecurities keep us constantly busy, so learn to free up your calendar.

Most of us feel so busy all the time that we naturally assume every other hardworking professional must feel the same way. When scheduling a meeting with Jeff Heath, a senior director in a technology company, Laura was shocked when, after asking him when he would be available for an interview, he breezily replied that he was free all week, so when was good for her? How did a senior professional have so much free time?

When pressed on how he managed to keep blank spaces in his schedule, despite working in corporate America, Jeff replied that it was all thanks to his mind-set.

Crucially, he avoids the mental trap that so many other professionals get caught up in. Jeff thinks that despite their lamentations about not having enough free time, most professionals actually don’t like having white space on their calendar. Why? Because having a jammed schedule gives people mental reassurance that they’re doing something productive with their time. For instance, we spend so much time in meetings because they make us feel busy and useful.

According to this busy-is-good attitude, if something is scheduled at a particular time, with particular people, it’s automatically more important than unscheduled events.

Imagine that a couple has arranged for a plumber to deal with a leak in their apartment. The partner who has nothing in his calendar at work that day is much more likely to stay home and let the plumber in than the partner who has several scheduled meetings. But let’s think a little deeper. Are those meetings really more important than the uninterrupted time the other partner might have spent thinking about his biggest work dilemmas? Possibly not.   

Avoid this detrimental mind-set by ignoring the temptation to fill all your spare time. You don’t have to value busyness just because the world does. Don’t say yes to meetings simply because you’re theoretically available. And if you’re feeling guilty for declining them, remember that the dirty secret about meetings is that, more often than not, they take up more time than is justified by the issue they’re addressing.

Don’t believe it? Just look at the meetings on your agenda and you’ll probably see that they’re all 30 minutes or an hour long, regardless of how much they need to accomplish. So say no, unless they’re genuinely important.

Spending time with loved ones can stretch our perception of time, and may even increase our lifespan.

Friends enrich our lives, make life feel less lonely and give it more meaning. But what does the time-management literature have to say about lingering with our treasured companions? A strict time-management schedule is incompatible with spending long afternoons and leisurely evenings with friends, right?

It’s a common misconception that time management is incompatible with leisure time with friends. In fact, a smart way to manage your time is to make friendships your priority. Why? Because devoting more time to your important relationships not only makes you happier; it can actually create a perception of having more time.  

For example, in a survey of how people spent one particular day, those who spent the most time with family and friends on this day were also most likely to report feeling that they had the most amount of time in general. Conversely, those who felt they had the least amount of time in general were also the most likely to report spending less time with family and friends during this day.

Importantly, it was not the case that those with the lowest time-perception scores actually had less time than any other respondents; rather, it’s that spending time with friends and family is usually a relaxing, feel-good experience, and it therefore makes you feel as though you have all the time in the world. Time spent on, say, Twitter, won’t produce this feeling.

Furthermore, in another survey, those who strongly agreed with the statement “Yesterday, I made time for my loved ones” were 15 percent more likely to also say that, generally, they had enough time in their lives for everything they wanted to do.

Importantly, making time for those you care about may not only stretch your perception of time, but may also, in the long run, literally stretch your time. How? Well, research has shown that people with stronger social connections tend to have a longer life expectancy than those without such social connections.

 This is likely the case, because good friends and close family encourage you to look after yourself, as well as care for you when you get ill. These healthy upsides to friendships mean that, when it comes to longevity, maintaining tight relationships is approximately equivalent to stopping smoking.

Accept the constraints on your time and lower your expectations.

Like many of us, Laura has a big family and a hectic life. During a recent and particularly chaotic week, she found herself thinking of those authors who seem to spend months away from their families in secluded garrets, with oodles of time to write. Why wasn’t she able to spend her time like that? Many of us have experienced this uncomfortable disconnect between our expectations and reality, but what can we do to overcome it?

The best thing to do is to alter our expectations of how we should be spending our time.

Importantly, once Laura made a conscious effort to lower her expectations about how much she should accomplish, she seemed magically able to achieve more in the little time she did have. For instance, she found she was suddenly able to write a first draft of a magazine article in a few hours, and could edit that draft in 90-minute windows of time between other domestic commitments.

How did this miracle happen? Well, when we lower our expectations of how much we can achieve, we no longer waste time worrying that we should be doing more. We often cause ourselves pain when our expectations become bigger than reality. This self-imposed suffering then leads to hours of worry about our unproductivity, which, in turn, prevents us from savoring the time we actually have.

Therefore, rather than holding big expectations about all the time you should be spending on your work, the key to long-term success is to consistently set and meet low expectations.

Consider the advances that a small child makes in learning language. Their development is not a matter of long hours of strict language lessons and harsh punishments for gradual progress. Rather, children advance slowly, and are praised for every new word acquired and for each minor linguistic breakthrough. To make a similar amount of progress toward our own goals, we adults should also adopt expectations of slow and gradual advancement.

Spend your money on enlarging pleasant experiences and minimizing bad ones.

We each have an equal amount of time allotted to us – 168 hours a week to be exact. However, while our weeks contain the same number of hours, our bank accounts don’t contain equal funds. But where does our bank balance figure in our quest for happiness? Does money make us happy, or is it simply the case that the more money we have, the more problems we can expect?

Interestingly, when it comes to money and happiness, it’s how you use your money – not how much money you have – that matters.

Money can boost happiness if you use it to buy things that facilitate pleasant experiences. These experiences later become fond memories – continuous wells of pleasure from which we can draw mental sustenance. Importantly, cherished memories aren’t subject to the diminishing returns of happiness that physical objects usually are. For instance, a child given a new toy will initially be excited to play with it. After a while, though, she will likely grow bored and stop using it. In other words, it will stop bringing her joy. In contrast, if you buy a tent and then use it to go camping, that tent may bring you lasting happiness. Why? Because you will forever remember the starry nights and campfires of that trip.

Additionally, if money is used to boost our happiness, we must rethink how we measure such happiness.

When we consider how happy we are, we often think only of life satisfaction, which refers to how well we think our life is going in general.

So, if you have a great job and a good house, you may consider yourself happy. However, this life satisfaction may not be the best measure of your happiness. Indeed, your moods are often much more driven by your hour-to-hour experiences than by your overall life satisfaction. For instance, your mood may often be depressed if you have a grueling daily commute to that dream job.  

With this reality in mind, we can begin to assess which of our daily activities bring us happiness, and which make us miserable. We can then strategically use our money to either enlarge or minimize these activities. For instance, research has shown that commuting to work is often the unhappiest time of a person’s day. If this is true for you, too, then you could use your money to move closer to the office, thus reducing that commute and boosting your mood. Though this may cost a significant amount of money, it would be an important investment in your happiness.

Have time for adventures.

Ever feel like time just slips from one end of the hourglass to the other? No one can make more time, but a few simple strategies can make the time we have feel richer and fuller. Here are five tips on how to feel less busy while getting more done.

1. Figure out where the time really goes. People tell themselves plenty of stories about where the time goes (“I’m so busy! I have no free time at all!”) but why not find out for sure? Try tracking your time for a week. You can use an app, a spreadsheet, a notebook – whatever works. Most people discover that they have some pockets of time that can be redeployed for meaningful activities if they wish.

2. Plan in little adventures. When time isn’t memorable, we don’t remember it. That’s how whole years can disappear into memory sinkholes. Try planning in little adventures to make the days stand out from each other. These adventures don’t have to be elaborate. Grab colleagues for a picnic lunch. Take the kids to a playground after dinner. Just do something to switch up the routine.

3. Be careful with “yes.” If you want to have time for adventures, you can’t pack your schedule with things you don’t want to do. One strategy? When asked to do something in the future, ask yourself if you’d do it tomorrow. That makes the opportunity costs clearer. If the answer is that you’d move things around or cancel things to fit in this new obligation, then by all means say yes. But if the answer is absolutely no for tomorrow, probably that should be your answer for the future, too.

4. Slow down. Rushing just makes you feel rushed. Try noticing a moment when all is calm. Consciously call your attention to sights, sounds, details. Take deep breaths. Savoring good moments makes them seem longer – and that can stretch the experience of time.

5.Put friends on your calendar. People who spend lots of time with family and friends actually feel like they have more time than people who spend equivalent quantities of time watching TV or perusing social media. A dinner party takes effort, but it’s more rewarding than looking at photos on Instagram of other people’s dinner parties. Aim to schedule in relaxed time with friends this week. You’ll look forward to it – and feel like you’re the kind of person who has the time to get together with friends. That will make you feel less busy right there.

We all have the same amount of time each week, but our mind-set can greatly influence our perception of that time. Spending time with family and friends, and making fond memories, makes us feel as if we have more time. In contrast, worrying about our productivity and going through the motions of a boring routine can make us feel like we have less. In order to make the most of our time, it’s important to stop worrying, ditch the routine and start having adventures with those we love.