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#every time he thinks he knows zuko actually likes him he'd talk himself out of it or overthink the weight of potentially ruining
petricorah · 1 year
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just some casual early morning fishing and some not-so-casual evening pining after your best friend
mini explanation of how this would take place if it were a prequel to the dangers of not confessing comic
After ozai’s defeat, they finally take a break and go on the fishing trip they lied about. And it’s amazing, and fun, and Zuko’s heart is aching throughout every second of it. Because he’s drowning under the weight of his impending duties as firelord. He has Responsibilities. But all he wants to do is be with Sokka and have the time relaxing with the people he cares about, actions that he was deprived of during his youth. And Sokka’s about to be halfway across the world, back at his home, where he belongs. And it would be selfish to ask Sokka to stay. And even more selfish to tell him how he feels when he knows soon the trip will be over, and it will never work between them, and Sokka probably doesn’t even feel the same way. So he stays silent. 
And misses his chance.
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helioleti · 3 years
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I've been rewatching ATLA several times lately and this time I especially ended up wondering a lot about Iroh and Ozai's past and characters in general. I just can't help but think it weird that Ozai is the ultimate trashbag of a humanbeing while Iroh ended up preaching harmony and peace. It just doesn't make any sense. These guys are brothers. They were brought up by the same parents, in the same fascist imperialistic nation, they were taught the same values growing up. You're trying to tell me the difference is that Iroh was destined to be the person he eventually came to be, but Ozai was just born evil? No, I don't think so.
I have two hot takes that I'm gonna elaborate:
1. Iroh had a guidance Ozai lacked
2. Ozai was the less favored son
(Disclaimer: I haven't read the comics yet so I don't know how deep they've already gone into this subject at some point. I'm trying to interpret and analyze the stuff that I got from the animated series only. If anything I say contradicts what has already been confirmed in the comics, feel free to correct me.)
Hear me out. Iroh wasn't born a saint. Everyone is aware of this, especially Iroh himself. He laid siege to Ba Sing Se for 2 years, costing the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom thousands of lives. Everyone knew that if the Fire Nation took over the capital, it meant almost ultimate victory for the Fire Nation. He even went as far as making a offhand sadistic jokes about burning the city to the ground in that letter to Zuko and Azula.
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Iroh acknowledges it himself; He was a different man.
So what changed?
Yes, his son died. It broke and shattered him from the inside, making him drop all efforts to continue fighting in the war. To continue what had been his lifelong ambition, what he believed to be his destiny. He had a literal vision about taking over Ba Sing Se when he was a child, and that had been what he'd been pursuing ever since. But the death of his son managed to crumble all of that into nothingness. How is that possible?
Don't get me wrong. I think it's completely valid. I just don't understand how Lu Ten and Iroh could've had such a loving and caring relationship in the first place, when that's clearly something unusual among the royal family. Ozai burned and banished Zuko without a second thought, not to mention all the other shit he did to him growing up. Ozai didn't give two shits about Azula either, he only ever intended to use her as his weapon. Doesn't seem too surprising, if you ask me. Azulon didn't hesitate to demand that Ozai kill his own son if he wanted the throne. That's the man that raised Ozai, so it's just logical that Ozai learned that behavior and those values from his own father.
Even 9 year old Azula thinks it laughable that Iroh would fall apart at the death of his son. She is a child and this is how she thinks. The reason Zuko doesn't think like this is because he's had the guidance of his mother, unlike Azula. This is the kind of mentality these kids grow up with. They grew up with war and so did Iroh and Ozai.
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So why was Iroh's relationship with Lu Ten so different? Where did Iroh experience the kind of compassion and love he passed on to his own son, that Ozai definitely didn't? People act on how they've come to learn, so where did Iroh learn to care about his son to a point that it made him give up on his lifelong ambition?
Let's review a very crucial information we have on Iroh and Ozai as siblings: They have a huge age gap.
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Frankly, I'm guessing about 10-20 years. Looks more like 20 to me, but that could also be Iroh's greater amount of endured pain and war making him look older than he actually is. But no one can deny that an age gap is definitely there. Which can also indicate they had different upbringings, despite having grown up in the same family as brothers.
What does this mean? Well, that's just me theorizing now, but I can definitely imagine that Iroh had someone, a family member maybe, there for him who wasn't around or didn't care to be when Ozai grew up. There must've been someone there who gave Iroh emotional security and guidance throughout his upbringing. Who? That's up to imagination. A friend of the family? A friendly uncle? His own mother ((or father))? (The last two things worked out for Zuko in the end, didn't they?) Otherwise I can't really explain myself why Iroh had enough values to love the way he loved Lu Ten, while Ozai clearly didn't give two fucks about his children at any point in his life.
Iroh was the firstborn son, the one who had a vision very early in his life that his destiny was to take over Ba Sing Se. Probably the one who got to have a family member care about him enough to show him how to love.
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(I like to point this out a lot because I find it very interesting, and very significant. Please A:TLA give us more info on Iroh's past!!)
Which brings me to my second take: Ozai was the less favored son.
Iroh was clearly a son to be proud of. He was a master firebender, the "Dragon of the West", if you will. He apparently had a vision as a boy that he'd conquer the most "impenetrable city" in the world. He probably lived up to his parent's expectations for his whole life, especially having no sibling to be compared to for a significant part of his life. He broke through the outter wall of Ba Sing Se during his siege. Yada yada yada, you get my point. He's the best son they could've wished for.
And Ozai? As far as I know, he barely even has any military achievements. Taking over Ba Sing Se was Azula's doing. While Iroh laid siege to the capital, he was at home chilling in the palace. He's the younger brother to an established hero and was never meant to be firelord. Now, I haven't read the comics for more info on Ozai's biography, but this man barely had a chance to live up to his parent's standards with Iroh as an older brother. If my theory is correct, Ozai also didn't have any person to provide him emotional guidance throughout his life. (*cough* like Azula)
The logical outcome is: infinite jealousy.
And when Ozai suggests to Azulon that he revoke Iroh's birthright to become firelord, this is Azulon's answer:
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Azulon doesn't even hesitate to call Ozai out on his bullshit. He doesn't hesitate to take offense at the suggestion of betraying Iroh, and he even seems to care about Iroh's suffering. Not to mention that Azulon is overall annoyed with Ozai's request for an audience and sends the rest of Ozai's family away as soon as he can, to get whatever it is Ozai wants over with.
I could also mention the fact that Ozai tried to impress Azulon with his daughter's skills (Azula, even named after him) and the overall strained relationship these two seem to exhibit. It's obviously very different from Azulon's relationship with Iroh, if the way he talks about said man is anything to show for.
What if Azulon treated Ozai the same way Ozai treated Zuko? (Probably without the physical abuse, but you get my point.) What if this is where Ozai learned to treat a "useless" kid like shit, maybe also in a way to cope with how he was treated himself?
Getting deeper into the fact that Ozai is rather a loser compared to Iroh, without any big military achievements and without value for anything beyond that, this also explains a lot about Ozai's constant need to establish his dominance.
First; Becoming Firelord through radical manners (you know, killing his own son or killing his own father)
Second; Publicly burning and banishing his own son whom he considers a weakling, who dared to speak up in his war room. Doing this to have everyone know that he doesn't associate himself with weakness and that he will not ever tolerate any form of disrespect.
Third; The whole Phoenix King act. No one can tell me this isn't a madman's doing. This is literally to show off that he is the most powerful person in the world.
Ozai is so obsessed with proving himself and his superiority to everyone, including himself and probably Iroh too. This makes most sense if we consider that he probably lived in his brother's shadow for his whole life, ignored by probably every guiding figure he's ever had in his life, maybe even considered a laughingstock by his own father.
Perhaps this is also the reason Ozai didn't have any problem with Iroh accompanying Zuko in banishment. His brother, the hero in whose shadow he grew up, and his son, the failure he'd wanted out of the way for a long time already. It would erase Iroh's image that made him superior to him, once and for all. For himself and the world. I believe that branding him a traitor was the biggest satisfaction Ozai had ever experienced in his life.
I absolutely despise Ozai with every fibre of my heart, but it amazes me how ATLA continues to leave so much room for interpretation and explanation for a character as despicable as him. Writing this, even had me feel sympathy for him at some point. Feel free to disagree with me or add anything, I'm eager to hear everyone's thoughts about Ozai and Iroh's backstories because I'm geniuinely very curious.
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teelagurl558 · 3 years
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What Comes After Lightning
Chapter Eight of The Dragon, a modern au Zuko x Reader
Other Chapters
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word count: 6,180 ish
Warnings: angst but with resolve, sex mention, some more language than usual?
A/N:  Hey guys! I wanted to let everyone know in case there was confusion, this is NOT the last chapter for The Dragon! I have about 3 more roughly plotted for the story line, so stay tuned.
It was so late that even Zuko's little house in the college sector of the Middle Ring was silent, save for the wet crunch of his happy lizard eating bell pepper slices in his lap. He was sitting up in bed, lamp on and trying to let his pet bring him comfort while he handed the creature treats. At least one of them would be having a pleasant night, he consoled himself.
He had spent a lot of the day at his uncle’s house after Y/n had shooed him off, letting Iroh soothe his angst with tea and fried foods, but now he was home. Sokka had left a little while ago, and while Zuko tried not to let it make him feel worse, he was pretty certain he knew exactly where his friend was going. Even though he hadn't been sitting with Zuko when he left, it made the older boy feel very alone; and even though Y/n was in no position for him to be jealous of, it made him unhappy that this time it couldn't be him that comforted his best friend. All he wanted was to sort this out, be there for her like he should've been for the last decade when she needed it. If their friendship suffered from this mistake, Zuko wasn't sure how he'd cope with it.
The sound of the front door opening caught Zuko's attention, and he was a bit surprised--Had Sokka not just left a few minutes ago? If he hadn't been paying attention to the amount of treat he was feeding Druk, Zuko might've been worried he'd lost track of time.
However, when he stood and went for his bedroom door, it was Katara's face that met him. She had a knowing look on her face and gestured to his room. "Mind if I come and sit?"
He knew what this was. With a nod, he ducked back into his room and reseated himself beside the lizard, still content to munch on his snack in Zuko's bed. Katara followed in and sat on the opposite side, slipping off her shoes to pull her legs up under her.
"So," he laughed dryly. "I guess this means I've really screwed up this time, huh?"
Katara frowned and shook her head, then stopped and made a cringing expression. "No, I mean- well... Yeah, you've definitely screwed up. But, so has she. I'm here because it seems at this point that intervention is still necessary to get you two to talk things out."
"It isn't though!" he sighed, rubbing his face in his palm. "I want to talk to her, I've wanted to all day but she won't let me. It's like she's going to hate me now no matter what I have to say."
"Oh, Zuko," Katara cooed sadly. "She doesn't hate you. So far from it. Why would she be acting so hurt if she did?"
He swallowed the burning in his throat before he replied. "I feel like I've hurt her badly enough that she does. There's so much that she could've read into it, and I don't even know what's the worst of it. I never got to tell her how I really felt, I just kissed her and slept with her like an idiot. She could be freaked out by the expectations on us, and there's nothing I could do about that, Tara, I can't take her from what she's working so hard for and I can't burden her with everything I have on me."
"I-- Wha- What?" Katara looked genuinely confused, and Zuko had to remind himself of his friends' commoner backgrounds. She wouldn't understand the chess game he and Y/n had to live.
"Our...our status, Katara," he tried to explain, trying to find words that didn't sound uppity and stupid; he hated having to explain these things. "Wealthy, known families like ours, we usually have arranged marriages for business reasons. I never planned on that for myself after Dad was arrested, but it's something she'd expect of me. And I've never asked her what she plans to do for herself, because she's got a lot of work trying to gain back the status and inheritance they took from her. No matter what way you look at it, we're both from high-class families and in dangerous situations and reckless romance would be really bad and--"
"And have you actually talked to her about these things?" Katara halted him, placing her hand on his arm to ground him a bit.
Zuko shook his head. "Well...no, like I said I-I don't know what she's planning for herself in that regard. And I've never really brought up my side of things because it felt too obvious and revealing."
She smiled at him. "Then breathe, Zuko. You have no reason yet to worry about all that, okay? And I'll tell you right now, I don't think that's what's hurting her. If it really bothers you, then when you talk things out, tell her. If you're afraid of what your weird rich-people-culture is going to do to your relationship, then you can always just take things slow."
"Yeah," he sniffled. "I guess you're right. If we even get that far."
"You will, but Y/n is really confused and upset right now. You know how hard it is when someone you care about hurts your feelings. Both of you have made a really stupid mistake here not talking things through before you went at it, but when she's ready to talk, you'll be able to work past that and both understand what was going on underneath."
Zuko nodded but was staring at his lap sadly. Druk nipped at his foot wanting attention, and climbed up onto Zuko's leg. "How do you know she'll even want to talk to me?" he asked quietly, petting the lizard more for his own comfort than Druk's.
"Because she cares about you, Zuko," his friend soothed. "And she cares about the relationship you both have. You can't imagine how happy she was to see that we were all friends when she moved here, because it meant she could finally have back all the good things that were taken from her. Looking for you was the first thing she did. I really doubt Y/n would let something that important to her die away without even trying to work it out."
Her words made Zuko's heart flutter, and a smile crept up his lips in hope. "She was looking for me?" he asked quietly. "I thought... I thought she just came to see Uncle, or something."
Katara laughed at him. "You honestly still think you weren't on Y/n's mind while she was gone? The only reason we didn't know you two were friends ages ago when she came to visit was that she knew about all the garbage your dad put you through with Aang."
Memories resurfaced at that, Zuko recalling all the times his father ordered him to find any way to knock Aang and his huge extended family down a peg. Aang was already becoming a known activist through his family when they were in high school, worker's unions and animal rights activist groups run by them often targeting Ozai's cruelly run empire. Aang didn't like him for that connection, and Zuko, though living with his uncle at the time and kicked from his dad's home, would still do anything back then to please his father. They got in more fights in school than the poor pacifist had likely been in his whole life, and Zuko was feeling the shame of his actions drifting back to him.
"Don't you go dwelling on that now," Katara scolded, swatting his knee. "You know you have more important and current things to think about."
Zuko nodded, forcing his mind back to Y/n and all the things he needed to say to her...When she would let him.
"How long do you think I should wait?" Zuko asked as Katara stood to leave. He was staring at his lap, thinking of his best friend and her tendencies with worry as he dragged his gaze back to Katara. "I want to give her space if she needs it but...I know I'm going to have to tell her how I feel soon, before she assumes something bad. I can't let Y/n overthink things and feel worse."
With a sigh, Katara shrugged. "We'll see, I don't know honestly. Definitely not tonight, just try to get some rest. We're all trying to keep an eye on both of you now just in case, so for the time being you just have to try and wait until she's ready since you already are."
That made his heart sink in his chest, wanting nothing more than to run to Y/n's doorstep at that very moment despite his lack of energy for such a thing. He tried his best not to let Katara notice his declining mood since he knew she would feel badly about leaving. The group mother seemed not to notice though, or if she did she didn't press as she hugged him goodnight and took her leave.
Zuko heaved an agonizing breath out as he put Druk away and turned out the light. As he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling instead of sinking into the clutches of sleep, Zuko felt more depressed than he'd been in a long time. His mind grasped hopelessly to the memories of Y/n first helping him with a bad episode, and the thought brought stinging tears to the young man's eyes.
Y/n had seen him at his darkest, at his most vulnerable, and had still cared for him the same way she had since they were ten. She saw he was hurt, and it didn't matter that she hadn't seen him in a decade--Y/n had just brought him tea and held him, and reassured him when his mind only wanted to give him doubt. Laying there in his bed while he wasted under the weight of his thoughts used to feel like a prison, something he could only leave when some other entity decided. But when Y/n came back to his life, when Y/n was sitting with him in the same bed, Zuko felt secure. He still felt sad, and helpless, but he had something to latch onto and someone to remind him he was loved.
He was loved.
Could she love him? Really, really love him, despite everything that came along with that? Zuko lay and wondered with a heavy heart if there was a chance her fondness for him extended the way his did. All he wanted anymore was to wake up beside her like he did that first day, all his worries washed away under her (e/c) gaze and sleepy smiles. Y/n had come to his aid every time Zuko felt like garbage after that; every time he wished he could just stop moving, stop time for a moment, she was there. Y/n came and got him from work or class or his home, and would sit with him or take him on walks until Zuko felt okay again. It was like magic, what she did to him. What she did to his heart.
Zuko sucked in a shaking breath and wiped his tearful eyes. If Y/n didn't come to him first soon, he didn't know how long he could hold back. Knowing he'd hurt her, and that Y/n didn't understand how or why all this had happened--it made Zuko's stomach churn and his chest clench in pain. He would suppress his feelings as long as she needed him to, if that's what it took, but Raava how he just wanted to hug her again. Zuko wasn't even fantasizing about the sex with her anymore--although he did admit it was the best he could remember ever having--but he wanted to hold her again, feel her hand in his and her arms around him. Zuko wanted to kiss her damned head so bad he could die.
Sleep, as you might imagine, was not easy to find on a night like this.
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(Y/N POV) 
When classes got done for the day, I was about ready to drop. I hadn't been emotionally or mentally energetic enough when the day started at 7 AM with Aang blasting Elton John through the house like it was his religion. Not that I minded Elton John, but nobody was going to be on my good side today, and before I'd even had my coffee he was trying to rope me into his self-care crystals review video or whatever. If Toph hadn't dragged me out the door, I would've surely regretted my comments about how useful the little rocks were.
My cousin had met up with Suki and I after her classes and were all walking back to my car. The latter looped her arm around me while texting Sokka, and Toph held my hand as usual for guidance. It softened my edgy feelings a little, but not enough to wash away my exhaustion.
"Hey, I know you're pretty wiped, but do you wanna come to the skate park with us after you've showered and stuff?" Suki asked gently. I cringed a little, knowing it would force me to be around Zuko and I didn't know if I was up for that.
"I dunno, I--" I started, trying to force words out of my unwilling mouth.
Toph sighed. "C'mon, Cupcake, you and Sparky have been dancing around this even worse than Aang and Katara did. And that was a freaking nightmare. And anyway you've been feeling dumpy all day and you always feel better hanging out with everyone, whether you work it out with him now or not."
I let out a groan but nodded. "Yeah, I know, you're right, okay?" After pausing to think it over and load up into my car, I nodded again. "Okay, yeah, I'll go. But someone has to buy me the fancy tuna from that commoners' shop nearby."
Suki let out a squeal of happiness before hugging me. "Yay! Of course I will, babe, all the fancy tuna and a bubble tea to go with it."
Sniffling in mock emotion, I whimpered, "I have the best wife," and started to drive us all home.
When Toph and I arrived back at our apartment after dropping off Suki, we came up to find Aang frowning at the TV from the couch. Katara was packing rice balls and mochi into the picnic basket, likely for the skate park trip, but was also scowling as she stole glances at the television behind her.
"What's with the faces, you two?" I asked, scooping Momo into my arms as he ran into my ankle.
Toph sucked in a breath beside me, head cocked. "Oh, no."
Before I could say anything she was hurriedly following the wall into the living room, standing beside the couch to hear the TV. Aang gave her and I a sympathetic look, and fear tugged at my gut as I realized it was the news station run by the Upper Ring--it was the news for the aristocratic class.
"They haven't made anything formal yet," Katara said, and I scowled in confusion before running into the living room. Aang reached out to lay a hand on my arm in support and Katara followed us in. My stomach dropped when I saw the photos of the family being discussed onscreen.
"--are still going through with this transfer despite it being a bit nontraditional. The Beifong Dynasty has been renowned across the country for their metalworks industry, and though this new potential inheritor is technically from the Fire Nation, Lao Beifong has announced that he plans to pass the company to his sister and her husband."
I swore, rather violently actually, and it made Aang jump. Normally Katara might've scolded me for it and teased me about sounding like Toph, but these circumstances were far too grave.
"They're really doing it, then," Toph grunted, letting out a long breath as she glared at the carpet. I swallowed hard, the saliva in my mouth turning thick and breath becoming hard to manage. Toph and I had hoped beyond a hope that her parents wouldn't make a claim before we were out of college and could dispute it before they did, but it seemed they wanted to deal with these matters sooner. Now, Toph and I would have to reclaim the inheritance with the eye of the public on us, and our parents' experience and reputations backing them.
"I'm sure it'll be okay, maybe they won't sign any paperwork for a while," Katara tried.
I shook my head, sucking in a breath and forcing it in. "No," I choked, my resolve slowly solidifying. "No, it doesn't matter. The longer that agreement is out in the open with the other business families to know of, the stronger of a hold it gets and the more allies will accept it. Toph and I are going to have to make a claim to the company publicly now, and soon, or else we lose the advantage we have."
"You have an advantage?" Aang asked, bewildered. Despite being a very well-known, in-the-spotlight person, Aang's life had definitely never been the carefully calculated chess game that Toph and I played.
Toph answered him after a moment. "Since I'm technically next in line, and that's how things are traditionally passed, if I dispute the change of hands in court then they're supposed to give it to me. Technically I still have rights to the company and should be signing it over to Y/n's dad with my parents, but they don't think I'm capable enough for all that bureaucratic bullshit."
"So...You're saying what they're doing...Isn't technically legal?" Aang pressed.
I shrugged and set Momo down in his lap, eyeing the screen as it now moved to a report of the new clothing lines from the Hitachiin Enterprise. "It's not so much actual written law as it is just tradition in those circumstances. Things are heavily based on allied business families and their opinions, it's all about what the community as a whole sees. And if they see us calling back that this was never our choice..."
"Then we get exactly what we've been trying for from the beginning," Toph finished. "Y/n and I have to make a public statement to let that simmer with the news outlets and the other rich biggots for a while, and if they don't surrender the rights and kill this new arrangement then we apply for a court date."
I let out a heavy breath. This just got so much more complicated. "I'm going to shower, and then we can go to the skate park to concuss this stress out of our brains."
Toph was the only one who gave me a snorting laugh, but the others nodded as we all separated to get ready. I gave her hand a squeeze, and then just straight pulled her into a hug. This was my sister as far as I was concerned, and our lives were about to take a very drastic leap.
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(3rd person POV)
It was a beautiful day. There was a nice autumn breeze going, the chill warning the park’s inhabitants that winter was around the corner. Clouds blocked out the bright sun, leaving just enough daylight filtering through to show they weren’t ominous with rain just yet. It was perfect sweater weather, laughter echoing around the grassy hills and concrete half-pipes and ramps.
Zuko was among the laughter, a happy grin finally painted across his face after the last few days’ miserable state. He was gliding around the main bowl with Aang, both boys drifting back and forth past each other hollering jokes. Behind them, Sokka was whirling at top speed up and around the nearest half pipe, doing flips and shouting--which was causing most of the laughter at the moment.
On the nearest bench, Katara sipped at her water bottle with Toph. She was narrating a little of what was happening, but it wasn’t entirely necessary with all the shrieking. Their picnic basket lay out on a blanket in front of the bench for when the group was ready, Katara heaved a deep sigh of content gazing around. She hoped things would go well. Glancing at the sky, she worried that the threat of rain would come sooner than expected, but she was more worried about one of the two other girls now approaching from the street.
Y/n and Suki were just returning from a favorite sushi shop in the commoner’s district down the block, little lunch boxes in hand along with tall cups of bubble tea. It made Katara relax a little to see Y/n was smiling, though her hope faltered the moment Y/n’s face started to at the sight of Zuko.
He hadn’t noticed her yet, and Y/n had the uncanny urge to run, to just sprint away from this problem like she’d had to do with many before it. Suki’s hand around her shoulders grounded her a little, and the pair made their way to the picnic blanket without issue.
“Hey, guys,” Y/n said, a little nervously. Toph perked up upon hearing her.
“Did you get your food? Can I have a bite?”
The excitement had the older Beifong giggling, and she plucked out a little piece to put in her cousin’s hand. Suki set down her food with the basket and started to strap on her pads.
“SUKI! CHECK THIS OUT!” Sokka yelled, and she had to holler back that she was coming in a second. Hurrying to grab her skateboard, she took off and jumped into the bowl, gliding over towards Sokka’s pipe. Y/n swallowed hard, taking a deep drink of her tea upon seeing the other two boys approaching.
Aang was running, a big grin on his face, but Zuko was slow, hesitant even. When the pair made it up to the girls, Aang took Toph’s hands in his excitedly.
“Toph, come on! You’ve got pads on, let me take you around the bowl a little!” he begged, a big grin on his innocent face. Toph looked uncertain, but after being promised she wouldn’t get dropped, the two youngest of their group took off running back into the concrete pool.  Soon, Aang was tugging Toph around from his skateboard with one hand, her roller skates getting steadier under her as they went.
Y/n had seated herself on the bench next to Katara, her open box of sushi on the empty side of the seat. Zuko raised his eyebrows at her, a gentle face silently asking if he could sit. She swallowed hard, but nodded.
“I don’t think I’ve ever tried that place, is it good?” Zuko asked, gesturing to her food. His throat was tight. He wanted to ask her to forgive him, to hear his apology, to understand how he felt--but he knew he had to wait.
She could sense what he wanted, but she was so glad he didn’t say it.
“It is,” she said, glancing down at the box and wondering if her decision earlier was the right one. She would’ve said more, but the moment Y/n looked back up at his gentle gold eyes, her strength began to crumble.
“Hm. Maybe I’ll try it sometime,” Zuko replied. His smile was fake this time, and she knew it.
Y/n gave him a small smile but then tore her eyes from him and got up, quickly slipping into a pair of roller blades and choking out, “I’m gonna go on in.”
She was gone in seconds, following her cousin and Aang in the bowl and laughing but still obviously stiff. Zuko sighed, his lowered gaze getting a glance at her lunch. He noticed something very strange, one of the rolls in her little bento box very obviously out of place.
Why would she get this? Y/n hates fire flake rolls, he thought with a frown at the classic Fire Nation dish. Zuko glanced up to the girl in question and noticed her quickly look away. A realization suddenly hit him.
Oh...It was for me.
The idea almost brought tears to his eyes that Y/n would still be thinking of him, making decisions like this and always including him. Tucking a piece of the spicy roll in his mouth, he sighed. It was a little sign that Zuko hadn’t really lost her, she was still there. She was still his. He could still make this right.
That was it. That was the last straw he could handle, and with determination flooding his veins Zuko stood up and strode off.
“Zuko, wait,” Katara hissed, panicked. “I know that look. Not--”
“I can’t wait on this anymore, Katara. I just can’t,” he said hurriedly, and then continued his long strides towards his three friends. At the edge of the bowl, he stepped up onto his skateboard and hopped in, swerving towards her.
Y/n saw him approach just as his hand caught her arm, skillfully turning at an angle so that she would roll a ways further with him and not fall. (E/c) eyes wide, she tensed and looked at him in such a threatened manner Zuko almost lost his resolve. Almost. He swallowed hard, held onto her wrist a little tighter, and reminded himself why she felt this defensive.
“Zuko, what are you doing?” she hissed. A week ago she never would’ve questioned him pulling her to his side like this. He just wanted to keep this talk to themselves, so she didn’t feel more vulnerable.
“Y/n, I know you may not be ready to talk about this, but I--”
Her eyes bulged, and she jerked her arm. “You’re right. I’m not. So let’s not.”
Zuko raised his voice, stepping of his board. “Y/n I just need you to listen,” he said, then softer, “--please.”
“I can’t, Zuko, not right now,” she tried again, now hugging herself and looking around the park. Anywhere but his face. “I can’t--I can’t talk about this, okay?”
Her voice was shaky now, and she was glancing around to the other clusters of their friends, most of them now noticing but pretending they hadn’t for the pair’s sake. Y/n wanted to talk about it, knew she had to get this out of her heavy chest and just do it, but the moment he approached her all the wisdom Sokka gave flew out the window. Fear threw it all away, and now she was standing taking anxious glances at the darkening sky and clutching her biceps with trembling fingers, too afraid of being rejected and abandoned again by this one special person to say what needed to be said.
“Why do you keep running from this?” Zuko finally snapped, desperation in his now loud voice, crying out while she was backing away. A loud BOOM of thunder cracked open the tense air and Y/n flinched, opening her eyes to see her best friend’s welling up with tears.
“Why do you keep shutting me out?”
The softness in his voice, the pain she could hear that mimicked hers, was the last straw. It drew tears to her own eyes and as lightning zipped above them, everything that was pounding against her chest and weighing on her shoulders tore through her lips in a yell.
“Because I can’t be abandoned again, Zuko!”
Thunder boomed again and punctuated her statement, the skate park going silent save for the grinding of wheels on concrete as her friends quickly huddled back towards Katara.
“I’m running because that’s the only way I don’t get hurt again, because I’ve been trying so hard to fight my feelings down and I never know what you want! You act like you want to kiss me and then shy away like it was a bad idea. You take me in when I need it and sleep with me, then act like it was all a mistake. You keep chasing me around trying to talk to me like my best friend and I can’t tell you why I’m this hurt because you’re the reason I feel used!”
Hot tears were burning down her face now, blurring the still silhouette of the fire nation boy in front of her. As if the very spirits were as hurt as she was, the sky continued to scream and boom and light up like fire above them.
Katara wanted to yell to them, wanted to hurry them to a car or to walk everyone back home but this was necessary. This was too tense a battle for her to step in--it was a duel of lovers, and she and their friends had to watch them exchange blows until hopefully, both came away better off.
“That’s why I’ve been trying to talk to you, Y/n,” Zuko yelled back. Rain started to sprinkle over them, but the only ones who cared were tucked under the picnic blanket and hurrying to the one car they’d brought nearby. Y/n started to turn away and hike towards her shoes by the bench, but Zuko got louder, causing her to stop short.
“I know I fucked up, okay? But you’re the closest friend I’ve ever had, and not understanding why you’re always acting like this has stung like a bitch. All I wanted was to talk to you and fix this--”
She spun around, rage practically boiling the icy rain around them. “It hurt you? Every minute you’ve had that we could’ve talked through what’s happening between us, you refused. You never brought it up, you never tried. You let me sit here and be hurt and wonder what the hell you wanted from me, until I found out the other night. How can you act like everything you’ve done to me lately has been hurting you?”
“Because I fucking love you, Y/n!”
“Well I love you too, you asshole!”
Both of them froze, staring at each other with wide eyes. Zuko’s words had come out in a sob--a loud, heartbreaking, crackling sob--and now he was crying freely. Y/n had still been angry, but her reply had come out instinctively before she could even process his confession.
“Wait…” she sniffled. The tug in her chest brought her closer. “What?”
Zuko felt like his heart was pouring out of his mouth like a boiling pot of tea, little sobs crackling between the painful words.
“Y/n, I'm so sorry. I- I do feel the same, I have for a long time, I just get so af-afraid any time I feel like something will happen between us. I did want to do all those things; every- every time you thought I did, I did. I was just too much of a c-coward because I didn’t want to burden you. I didn’t want to hurt you with everything that came wi-with it.”
A pale hand came up to aggressively wipe his face, giving it up as a bad job as the rain poured over it. He tilted his head to the sky, the downpour cooling his overheated face and dripping through his shaggy hair.
“The other day...I was so happy wak-waking up beside you, and then I just felt so guilty and ashamed of myself for letting my feelings come out that way. There was no way I wouldn't have enjoyed it; I-I love you. I can't just- just stuff that down. But I didn't want it to- to happen like that, I never meant to hurt you or let it get that far so soon. I should've t-told you sooner, and maybe this wouldn't have happened, but if it hadn't then I-I don't know how long it would've been--”
Y/n stopped his hiccuping tangent by cupping his cheeks, pulling his face down to hers roughly and kissing him like this was a lovers’ reunion.
The tiniest whimper squeaked out of Zuko’s lips, the tears pouring from his golden eyes now those of relief, and joy. His muscled arms clamped around her and when they pulled away they both sucked in shaky breaths.
“We’re a couple of oblivious pussies, aren’t we?” Y/n laughed. Zuko could only really nod, finally able to try and calm himself down now that he had Y/n again. Her hands on his face grounded him, gave him purchase after the emotional rollercoaster he’d nearly thrown up on, and the feel of her in his arms was spreading warmth through his now-soaked body.
After a moment, once their breathing had evened and the cold that was soaking them through finally registered to them, the pair hurried to grab Y/n’s shoes and go to Katara’s car. It was running, but the group had been waiting in the lot to watch the ordeal in case their friends needed help. Y/n stood under a tree in the parking lot by the car, yanking off her skates and hurriedly pulling her wet shoes over wet socks.
“Y/n, do you care if we...go somewhere?” Zuko asked her. He could see the others watching from their windows a few yards away.
“Like where?” she asked, grimacing at their wet surroundings. “We’re too drenched to go out, and if I’m honest I don’t feel up for that just now.”
She seemed anxious to him, but not like she wanted to get away from him, and that was all Zuko needed to confirm his idea. “Just somewhere that’ll feel safe, where we can calm down and talk?”
Y/n nodded, and he gave her forehead a gentle, reassuring kiss before he approached the passenger side window. Aang rolled it down, giving Y/n a gentle smile and wave where she stood under her tree. Sokka was behind him, and while Zuko talked to Aang and Katara to let them know where they were going, her honorary big brother was mouthing dramatically to her. He looked ready to sob trying to check on her with wide eyes and stressed, wide-open-mouthed silent questions.
Most of it she couldn’t make out, but it made her laugh. Understanding when he started to frantically ask if she was okay, she nodded. Y/n held out a hand for him to calm down and then up to her ear, mouthing “Call you later”, which thankfully did the trick and satisfied his protectiveness.
In a moment Zuko was tossing his skateboard in the trunk and jogging back to her, looking up to the still-thundering, still-pouring sky and rolling his eyes like this karmically would be his luck. He held out his hand and Y/n took it, pulling her along through the rain and both waving to their friends driving away.
It didn’t take long for laughter to bubble up in Y/n’s chest, remembering all the times she and Zuko had been caught in the rain before because they ‘just had to go on a walk right now’. Often it was while he wasn’t feeling well, or she was restless and had to get out of the house, and it reminded them of when they were children. Come to think of it, of all those times, Y/n couldn’t remember being as drenched and frozen as this since they were children, staying out playing in the woods on Zuko’s family property long after his mother or Iroh would’ve called them in. His father used to scoff and roll his eyes a lot on those days. She remembered Iroh laughing on the back porch at two sopping wet kids trudging back through the treeline, and it made her giggle.
Zuko didn’t have the words in him to ask why she was laughing, but one glance back at her eyes as he kept running made it clear. He felt it too, this connection they’d had for so many years. And now, he was laughing too, racing her through the storm until he saw the sign of The Jasmine Dragon come into view.
“This still counts as going out in public, you know,” Y/n panted, hugging herself under the tea shop’s awning.
In an attempt to soothe and warm her, Zuko ran his hands up and down her arms. “I know, I know. I didn’t mean for us to stay here, but I knew Uncle could take us to his house. And I thought, you know, maybe we’d both feel a little more comfortable there after… all that.”
The sweet gesture drew a smile to Y/n’s lips, and she stood up on her toes to kiss him again, much gentler this time. “Thank you, Zuko.”
The boy grinned ear to ear, taking her hand in his again as they stepped into the nearly-empty shop. And they could tell by Iroh’s bug-eyed, adoring expression, that he had seen. They hardly had to complete a sentence before the old man was scurrying to close up shop, babbling near incoherently about getting his kids dry and warm and fed before they died in front of him.
There was so much to talk through still. So much Zuko wanted to say to her and that she needed to hear, and so much Y/n had to think through and reassure him of. But for now, at least, they were going to be taken care of, and they knew they could work those things out. The door was open now, and inside it was a lot of love. And, Iroh’s cooking.
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Tags: (open til the end!)
@ur-jinji @complainsalot @sorrythatspussynal @theblueslytherin @irohs-teapot @sunflowerr-mami @curly-whirly-bar @girl-ln-green @eleonor-da-silva @strangerr-things @dirivaakku @sistheselenophile @zagbloom
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mintchochipkookie · 3 years
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hi banshee! 💖⚔️
if zuko had to create a patronus, what memory do you think he'd use? from canon or your own headcanons? feel free to get as angsty as you want :D
Hi Blue! Fuck your angst! 😃🦐 Anyway this is entirely too long, but what did you expect when you asked me to talk about my boy ZUKO. 😍 Also ig this takes place in the canon ATLA universe? But just with Patronus Charms???? Idk whatever who cares here’s your answer, but really it’s just me rambling about the love of my life:
So let's say he started practising quite young but couldn’t get the hang of it till much later.
Till Ursa was around, he could barely produce a few wisps, nothing that could actually fend off dementors. I think at this point he was probably grasping at memories that he either thought made him happy or memories that were slowly becoming tainted at that age. So in The Beach Zuko says that the Ember Island vacations were the only times he could remember his family being happy, right? I think he would try to use those memories because he would conflate being glad his family was happy with himself being happy, because isn’t that just what baby Zuko wanted? He wanted a little bit of peace. I don’t imagine Ursa and Zuko had a very happy marriage, and this was the one time they could pretend otherwise, and maybe even Azula chilled out a little at Ember Island. He probably felt peaceful, but he wasn’t truly happy because everything else was still going on y’no? Like Ozai was still an abusive fuck and his relationship with his sister was still fracturing every day and I think that’s something he would have hated/been super upset about.
Maybe he would try to pull up some memories of when he and Azula used to be friends before Ozai started twisting his way into her mind. Ursa, Azula, and Zuko would have fun together, maybe have lil picnics in the gardens and stuff. But that started to hurt as Azula drifted further away from him.
He would try to imagine Ursa’s smile and eyes but there was always something a little sad or anxious in them and he knew his mom was hurting too. He was an intelligent, observant, and empathetic boy, he knew something was wrong. But I think maybe his alone time with Ursa is what would even help him produce those few tiny wisps in the first place. Maybe they went to a festival once, just the 2 of them. Ursa needed a quick break from the palace, and god knows Zuko needed something fun in his life, so she snuck them out and they laughed, watched cool performances, and ate street food all night.
After Ursa goes away and Iroh comes back, he reaches a roadblock again. But he starts to spend more time with his uncle tho, and he becomes a little less sad. Iroh goes out of his way to make Zuko smile because of course he sees what’s going on. They would spend the late evenings just the two of them. Iroh would try to teach him Pai Sho, give him lots of tea, and sneakily get the kitchens to send up food for them after dinner. Specifically, things that he knew Zuko loved but Ozai probably asked the staff not to make very often just to spite his 12 year old son cuz he’s a dumb petty bitch. That’s the stuff Zuko would think of before his banishment.
The next few years were rocky. During his exile, he probably couldn’t produce anything at all. He was too angry and depressed. Memories of Azula were definitely not helpful anymore, Ursa brought up too much pain, and he needed someone to take out his frustration on, so Iroh wasn’t an option anymore. Plus he knew he was treating his uncle badly sometimes and thinking about the good times made him feel guilty. He probably reverted back to those memories in Book 2 tho, and he and Iroh made plenty of good memories in Ba Sing Se too. The Jasmine Dragon became his home in his mind. But when he goes back “home” to the palace, he feels so stifled he loses the ability to produce anything substantial again.
But then! He joins up with the Gaang and things start stabilising a bit more. I think once he has everyone’s forgiveness (see: Katara’s) and has made up with Iroh is when he really starts to feel relatively peaceful and happy. After the war, he spends more time with the Gaang (while he is Fire PRINCE, not Fire Lord) and gets closer with everyone, especially Katara. Initially, his happy memories are of the 6 of them hanging out around a campfire, telling bad jokes, and just having a good time after the war. He doesn’t remember if he’s even had real friends before this, and the fact that these guys stuck around for him and love him unconditionally makes his heart melt. (It takes him a while to accept that tho, this hoe doesn’t believe that anyone, except maybe Iroh, could love him that much.) He and Azula mend their relationship too, and eventually, it starts to remind him of his childhood. Those memories hurt less and he makes new ones with her and it makes him so frikkin’ happy. And with time he obviously gets closer and closer to Katara. They have a bond that just feels so natural to him. She just exists in his life, because of course, she does. How could it be any other way? He’s happiest when the two of them are goofing around but I think the memory he holds on to the most is the TSR hug. Because that was the beginning of their friendship. It was what kickstarted everything else that came after it. It’s what eventually gave him his wife. It felt safe and comfortable and easy.
Anyway here's some Jackson Wang in purple for reasons.
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zukoisgayforsokka · 2 years
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I posted 3,076 times in 2021
27 posts created (1%)
3049 posts reblogged (99%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 112.9 posts.
I added 12,935 tags in 2021
#atla - 2638 posts
#avatar the last airbender - 2276 posts
#fanart - 1423 posts
#brilliant fanart - 1375 posts
#q - 1254 posts
#zuko - 1169 posts
#sokka - 1161 posts
#zukka - 616 posts
#katara - 581 posts
#no id - 442 posts
Longest Tag: 128 characters
#he’s like ‘oh a cute boy i better project onto my lesbian girlfriend who’s definitely into men and that’s why i feel threatened’
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Been thinking of Hakoda/Kya/Bato throuple, and reasons Sokka and Katara call them dad/mum/bato respectively. Or:
Why Bato doesn't get a parent name
- They weren't a throuple until the kids were children, by then he was very established as Bato
- He was away working a lot when the kids were young so he didn't feel he had the right to ask for a parent name
- Bato was horrified by the idea of being called dad because he was Too Young And Beautiful and by the time he realised he actually would like to be called dad it was too late
- Bato came out as a trans man when the kids were children. To replace calling him Mum the kids picked the new name, and as a variation of dad they chose Bato. When asked what he was going to name himself when transitioning, Bato replied "The children have already named me"
190 notes • Posted 2021-11-16 21:42:31 GMT
#4
Modern au
After leaving her old family (Ozai) for her new family (Ikem) Ursa changes her name and returns to acting. Only small theatres, low-budget productions, she just loves the craft.
After a few years, when she's getting ready she becomes good friends with one of the new young makeup artists, he's so sweet and charming, and when he says 'youre so beautiful, you remind me of my boyfriend' she just laughs and tells him to enjoy his young love ("I'm 23 Noriko" / "you're like a baby compared to me")
Towards the end of the season, he approaches her with a new job. His boyfriend, friends and sister are opening their own small community theatre in the next city, and would she like to audition for their first show.
His boyfriend is the writer and director, after all. And he'd love for them to meet......
196 notes • Posted 2021-10-01 16:30:05 GMT
#3
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I commissioned the brilliant @jasminedragonart (thank you again I love her) to draw my Trans Hijabi Yue. If you read any of my fics on AO3 please imagine the beautiful Yue like this gorgeous art work
[ID: A digital drawing of Yue in a cream hijab with a grey Tui and La motif. Pinned where the scarf meets her parka is a large Water Tribe pin in the trans pride flag colours. She is smiling. /End ID] @atladescribed
235 notes • Posted 2021-09-16 20:02:50 GMT
#2
Autistic Toph Masterpost
It’s a long one folks. The @mightyoctopus and I are both autistic, and the other day we were discussing and concluded that Toph is also autistic. Here’s some canon evidence to prove it.
It has been said before that bending is a metaphor for neurodivergence. An innate, often unconscious extension of the person, connected to emotions.
Toph’s Bending
Toph is the best earthbender in the world, and this didn’t happen by chance. She took to bending incredibly naturally. Here’s how it links to her being autistic.
Special interest - Toph knows everything about earthbending, more than most people as she learned from the badgermoles. She is truly an expert, and it’s her favourite thing to talk about, and the topic she knows the most about.
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[ID: Toph at Earth Rumble holding up her Championship Belt, a serious expression on her face. /End ID]
Heightened senses - Many autistic people are more sensitive to sensory inputs than non-autistic people. Toph is incredibly in tune with the world around her, constantly aware of everything through her earthbending. This saves people on multiple occasions: hearing Azula in The Chase, and saving the pregnant lady’s husband in The Serpent’s Pass are two examples
See the full post
674 notes • Posted 2021-09-22 19:27:08 GMT
#1
Dear Avatar fandom
Please can we stop refering to Zuko's eyes as 'good' and 'bad' in fics. What he actually has is a 'seeing eye' and a 'blind eye'. There is nothing inherently bad about a blind eye.
Negative language towards disability is ridiculously common in our ableist society. I know this community is often very good at writing disabled characters, and people mean no ill intent with this language, but please consider the words you use and their connotations.
This is not a call out, nor an attack, and it is not targeted at anyone specifically. I am just someone in the disabled community asking you to please think about why you might consider a blind eye to be bad, especially in a fandom with a canon blind character.
Thank you for listening
2446 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 13:42:57 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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ezpezlemonsquez · 3 years
Text
Okay, so I've heard about that theory in which princess Yue was to be the Avatar but since Aang hadn't died but just had frozen himself, the cycle was somehow broken and that's why Yue was born so weak and had to be saved by the Moon Spirit. This actually gave me a fanfiction idea, so
in this concept Yue is Sokka and Suki's child, as Lu Ten is Mai and Zuko's. They spend a bit of their vacation at their houses in the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se. Everything is peaceful. Everything is fine.
***
Lu Ten was screaming. He didn't have any control over his body, needless to say, his mind. He just wanted it to be over. Suddenly, he felt a gentle tug on his shoulder and he shuddered. Then he felt the second tug, a little bit more intense than the previous one.
"Lu" said someone with a really soft voice. "Lu, wake up."
So Lu Ten screamed for the last time and this time he immediately woke up and sat up on his bed. He was panting heavily, the sweat dripping off his body. At first he couldn't see anything. Only after a few breaths was his vision slowly getting better.
"Everything's alright, Lu." The same voice rang out again, finally letting Lu Ten fully get back to reality. It was kind of like his anchor and though he had sometimes heard it in his dreams, it had never been so clear before. Lu Ten blinked and he realised why this time it was different.
"Yue" he whispered and lied down again, utterly exhausted, as he saw his beautiful friend right in front of him. Her dark brown hair tickled his face when she leaned towards him to make sure he's awake. For real now. Lu Ten took one last deep breath and got up from the bed. He walked to the table and drank some water he'd prepared himself in a cup. The rest of it he spilled on his head. Yue came up to him and gently touched his shoulder.
"Everything alright?" she asked caringly. He nodded.
"Yeah" he answered, not being completely sure if he reassured her, or himself. "Yeah, everything's fine, it was just, uhm..."
Yue raised her eyebrow.
"A nightmare?"
"No, no, I don't have nightmares, no." He forced a laugh.
"Right" snorted Yue. "You know, you may be one really powerful firebender but that doesn't make you any truthbender."
"You say so?"
"I literally heard you screaming, Lu Ten. I woke you up."
The boy shrugged his shoulders.
"Maybe you needed something?" he suggested and he suddenly realised something. "Wait a second, why were you even here?"
Yue seemed a bit confused for a moment.
"Uhm, I heard your scream" she answered finally, trying to be convincing. "I walked in to make sure you're not in any trouble. As always."
"Very funny, Yu. You were saying something about being a truthbender...?" he said, as if he was wondering.
"Excuse me, I'm the daughter of Sokka and Suki, I was basically born with the power of truthbending. Gotta have a talent, you know?" she said jokingly, throwing her hair behind her back.
"Yeah, of course. Come on, Yue, what were you doing outside this late?" He nudged her teasingly. "Perhaps a date or something? You know, holiday fling?" He insinuated, while feeling a bit of jealousy that she actually might have confirmed.
"I wish." She winced. "I... I was, uhm, kind of having nightmares myself" she admitted finally. "I woke up and I decided to take a walk. Moon soothes me."
Lu Ten's face changed immediately.
"Yue, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I didn't mean to..."
"It's fine, really. Now come, you want to take a walk with me?" She held out the hand to him. He smiled.
"Sure. Let me just put on some shirt."
She nodded. After a while, they were walking by calm, peaceful streets of the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se. Neither of them was saying anything, they just walked silently, hand in hand, being happy of each other's presence. They stopped at the fountain. It was a clear, warm night, so they took off their shoes and sat down, letting their feet dip into water. They were sitting silently until Lu Ten spoke up.
"It's a beautiful moon."
Yue smiled.
"Yeah, it really is. You know, my dad used to tell me the history of a girl from the Northern Water Tribe. She was a princess, actually. She was beautiful, and kind, and very brave, because when the time came, she was ready to sacrifice her life to become the Moon Spirit. I was named Yue after her."
"Did your parents know her?"
"My dad, yeah. They seemed to have been pretty close, you should've heard how he talked about her."
"Yeah, listen, from what I've been told, you should've seen my granduncle's face when my parents told him I was gonna be named after his son. Apparently, he cried so much. My father told not once that it was the least he could do for him for... well, everything."
"General Iroh was more like a father to your dad than Ozai, wasn't he?"
"He was." Lu Ten nodded. "He still is."
Yue looked up at the moon, thinking.
"You want to tell me about this nightmare that's bothering you?" asked Lu Ten softly. Yue sighed.
"This dream it... It comes back to me every full moon. But please, don't laugh, okay?" She looked at him pleadingly, with a weak smile.
"I won't, I promise."
"Okay, so, in this dream... I am about to become the Avatar. I can feel it's a great power, so I'm preparing myself to take it in. I'm waiting and waiting and it exhausts me but I reassure myself that once I take in the Avatar's powers, all my strengths will come back to me three times as great. And suddenly, something happens. Light blinds me, but no new strengths came. Instead, I'm just getting weaker and weaker. I don't know what's happening, but I can barely breathe. It's like, the circle has been broken and I don't know what to do. I try to scream but I can't even open my mouth. It's... it's horrifying." Tears appeared in Yue's eyes. She lowered her voice to whisper and she just looked at her hands. "I'm dying" she said barely audibly. Lu Ten didn't say anything. He took her hand and gently stroked it. He wanted to remind her she didn't have to be scared, because he was there. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her.
"Anyway" she said after a while, when she managed to collect herself. "That's when I wake up." She looked at him with a sour smile. "Every time. No sooner, no later. I don't know what it means, so."
"Have you told about it anyone?" he asked, moving closer to her. She laughed quietly.
"No, absolutely not. And I forbid you to."
"Okay, no worries, just... I want to help you."
"I know, but please, don't tell anyone. I'll manage. So, you wanna share your dream now?" she asked immediately, trying to escape from the uncomfortable subject. Lu Ten let go of Yue's hand and smiled sourly.
"My dream is strictly connected with this city" he started. "I'm in Ba Sing Se but this isn't, you know, our Ba Sing Se. I'm in the Fire Nation's Army uniform. I have my own unit under command. It isn't big but I feel like it's great anyway. I know I trust these people. And suddenly, we begin to fight. At first, we win. We're going further and further into the town and I feel I'm on a tear, so I don't stop. Somebody's shouting my name but I ignore it. I run and I fight. I shout I don't need any more people, I'm calling off the reinforcements. Everything's great. But then I'm trapped. Earthbenders, more than I can possibly take, surround me. It's just me, my whole unit has suddenly disappeared. I try to fight them but I can't hold off them all. Nevertheless, I don't call for help. I just... try to take down these people. They're an obstacle. Someone shoots me, so I scream. I feel warmth of my blood. My vision blurs. I give more shots, and I get the same amount at me. Finally, I collapse. In my head there's just granduncle's song. It bores into my mind, I can't think of anything else, I can't hear anything but this song. It's more powerful than any thought, any sound I try to focus on. It hurts more than my wounds. So I scream. And I scream again and again, until I can't scream anymore." He looked at Yue seriously. "I'm dying, too" he whispered. Yue didn't say anything. She just moved closer and hugged him. He hugged her even tighter. The tears started to fall down their cheeks. They were both crying, because that felt like the only right thing to do.
"Don't tell anyone" whispered Lu Ten after a while.
"I won't" promised Yue.
They sat there, hugging each other, for a long time. They barely moved. Then Lu Ten cleared his throat and slightly moved away.
"We should go back home."
Yue nodded, sniffling.
"Yeah. Yeah, we should."
"I bet granduncle Iroh could make us some soothing tea, if you'd like."
"I would love to, but tomorrow, okay? We'll go to The Jasmine Dragon."
"Okay. Come on, I'll walk you." He held out his hand. Yue took it without hesitation.
"Thanks" she said quietly, smiling weakly. They didn't talk on their way back home. They really didn't feel like it. When they arrived at Yue's home, she hesitated.
"What is it?" asked Lu Ten.
"Actually... uhm..." She looked at him awkwardly, then she shook her head. "You know what, never mind."
"No, tell me, what's wrong?"
"I was gonna ask you, since I won't be getting much sleep tonight, if you wanted to keep me company" she admitted, smiling. "But then I figured you'd probably want to catch even a few hours of sleep."
"Actually, no, not at all. And I'd rather sit silently with you than alone, so." He smiled. "I would love to keep you company."
She looked at him gratefully and open the door. They sat on the carpet, near each other, trying not to fall asleep. But after a while they didn't even realise they did. They were sitting, leaning back against the wall, Yue's head resting on Lu Ten's shoulder and his head resting on hers. And when they were together, no more nightmares bothered either of them that night.
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bakugaykatsukii · 5 years
Text
I Talk About Bakugou Because I'm Bored
Bakugou. He's best boy. My son.
No, actually, I'mma explain in as few words as possible why I absolutely adore his character.
Oops this got long.
Okay, so it's the first chapter/episode (I'll go off the anime because it's practically identical and more widespread) and it opens with Deku narrating. This is to establish an immediate connection between the audience and the main protagonist; it conveys how important Deku is. Plenty of shows do this so it's not really a big deal, just common practise. HOWEVER, the second character we hear speak is Bakugou, who is insulting Deku.
This is framed in a way that's supposed to make us dislike him, and continues all throughout the first episode. He's presented as a four year old trying to beat up our main character, and then his next scene is being ten years older and Still Trying To Beat Up Our Main Character. This makes him seem rotten to the core, as his character hasn't changed whatsoever in that time, and as an audience we know very little information about him.
On top of that, within this first episode he is deliberately made to have no redeeming qualities, nothing that could make him sympathetic in any way. The Sludge Villain fiasco isn't until ep2, and in this one he literally tells Deku to kill himself, reaching peak middle school bully. He destroys something the Main Protagonist clearly treasures and is privelaged in every conceivable way, even his (later obviously intense) desire to be a hero is simplified to monetary gain, with "I'll be even richer than All Might himself!!!" (or something to that effect). Later on I'd explain such a line to be a result of young Baku trying to quantify his future success, something he never mentions again after the Sludge Villain.
In these first twenty minutes of the anime, he's been absolutely dragged through the mud. Not only is he this arrogant, selfish, mean bully, he's also the sort of bully we can all relate to having, making him even more dislikable! It's so easy for an audience to write him off as irredeemable almost immediately.
But then comes ep2. Seasoned anime watchers likely brush over some small details, but the fact that the Sludge Villain attack happens when Bakugou is 14? Wow. At this point no one likes him, and to many people seeing this happen could come across as a sort of karmic punishment, deserving and therefore less sympathetic. And so Horikoshi succeeds in continuing to make him dislikable but also adding depth to this character who so clearly believed he was invincible.
However, any such depth is pretty much ignored by the audience. I've watched many reactions, and, at this point, due to Bakugou's sub par personality, most people don't care about what happened upon first viewing. To be fair, it's treated as background until Deku steps in and proves himself a hero, at which point he's promised a quirk and That's all anyone can think about.
(also there's some symbolism in this ep because Bakugou and Deku were both attacked by the Sludge Villain and saved by All Might, showing they are actually equals in character and have a lot in common.)
Anyway, so for the first few episodes no one gives two shits about Bakugou because he's meant to be dislikable. He's set up to be as bad as possible without needing to be arrested/never being redeemable. Yet, he's also not clearly set up to be redeemed whatsoever. Let me explain:
Quick break from bnha to head over to atla, Zuko is the perfect redemption arc. And some of that can be attributed to his presentation in the first few episodes: where he's portrayed as antagonistic but still honourable, and has a tragic past. He's the sort of character you know isn't actually bad at heart. But Bakugou hasn't got any tragic back story to speak of, and certainly isn't honourable, so we don't expect a redemption.
That's so interesting to me, because it basically means his character could go in any direction but most shounen fans expect him to be the typical rival. He's mean now and will be mean later, nbd. Will probably betray Deku in order to gain more power. That sort of stuff.
But, as the first season progresses, we're shown that Bakugou (on top of all of his anger issues and cruelty) is also so incredibly determined, to the point where it's harmful. A lot of people, even in season three, expect him to accept the LoV's offer, but as early as ep7 he's shown to be dedicated to being the best on his own. He utterly fails at pretending to be a villain, and doesn't manage to work with his "villain" teammate. When the USJ attack rolls around, he fights alongside Deku.
I feel like I've just word babbled for a while so here's a picture:
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Isn't that adorable? Anyway, I continue.
Okay, recap: Bakugou is presented initially as bad and in no way sympathetic, but throughout season one some of his good qualities do get highlighted.
The Sports Festival is probably when I was most on edge about who my favourite character was. Todoroki vs Deku vs Bakugou was a whole internal debate. We all know who eventually won though. Point is, this is the first time Bakugou is supposed to seem likeable.
Like, yes, he helped out at the USJ, but he was still reckless and angry about it. In this arc his flaws stop seeming so antagonistic (even though he's now more at odds with 1-A than he's ever been) and are framed humorously; if you think about it, the only times you're not rooting for Bakugou in this whole arc is when you're laughing at his antics. He stops seeming like a massive unforgivable bully and becomes a secondary threat behind Todoroki, even though he ultimately wins the Festival.
One of the first things he does in the season is tell people messing with their class go away, albeit bluntly, and is then complimented for it by Kirishima, who is the nicest guy in the class! No longer are we supposed to necessarily dislike him, as he's being developed after all of season 1. Him saying "I'm gonna win" as his speach is expected by the audience and laughed at- absolutely nobody watching was scared he'd hurt Deku in some terrible way due to it.
The cavalry battle demonstrates that he can work in a team after some adjustment time, and he gets his own antagonist (Monoma) who we all root against! This makes us closer to his character, as in a way we have a common enemy.
Then obviously the single battles are super interesting, his one against Uraraka especially turning people to his side. Since Aizawa, who as an audience we trust after his actions at the USJ, backs up Bakugou's actions, we accept them as the right thing to have done. Especially since Bakugou later calls Uraraka "not fragile", demonstrating that he can respect people and actually isn't as discriminatory as his earlier actions against Deku might lead one to believe. Everything about this fight is pure gold.
The rest of his fights are also very interesting, so let me go off on a little tangent. He's the only person to 1) be uninjured by the end of the festival (he did win tho so...) and 2) he's the only person to win all of his fights by forcing his opponent into submission. He knocks out Uraraka and Kirishima, goes to knock out Tokoyami but has him give up instead and then knocks out Todoroki! His fights are so much more violent than the others, who are primarily trying to win by pushing their opponent out of the ring or by immobilising them, which could make him come across as more aggressive (which he is). But it actually works for his character considering the way he demonstrates respect is by giving his all, therefore in order to show he cares about these fights he has to go for absolutely decimating the person against him.
Also, interesting side note to all that, out of our main three festival contenders, Bakugou is the only one who actually needs to use the festival for its intended purpose: impressing scouts. Todoroki, as the son of Endeavour, is already known throughout the hero community as a promising young talent, and could even get the No2 hero to coach him if he so wished. Deku even says himself that he doesn't necessarily need to get scouted when All Might is already teaching him. Out of the three Bakugou has the most incentive to actually show off here, no guilt/baggage required.
Anyway blah Stain arc blah. Bakugou picks Jeanist to intern with, which many might think makes him shallow. Their quirks are in no way similar and their images are almost diametrically opposing, and Bakugou only chose him because he's such a highly ranked hero. However, I believe the creators crafted this pairing in order to convey how good of a future hero Bakugou promises to be. BJ, in these episodes, is all talk. He's such a superficial hero that, in order to rectify Bakugou's foul personality, he gives him a haircut. He demonstrates the arrogant nature that Stain hates so much. Meanwhile, Bakugou ignores him and is still arrogant in his own way, obviously, but not for anything other than his own pride. He, when you break it down, spends all of his time working towards a genuinely good goal, just to prove to himself that he's worthy- no desire for fans or fame in there, he wants success but isn't actually looking for any of the perks that come with it. This, imo, makes him better than BJ. Also, Bakugou never actually says he is working with BJ due to his rank and could be doing it because their quirks botha require so much time, practice and effort.
Okay, so, now for the final exams. This is where I decided he was my favourite. He works with Deku etc and proves to the audience that he can work with him and won't necessarily become a villain, plus All Might lets loose a little and proves he too can be violent and mean.
What I really love is about ep24 s2 is actually the bit that makes a lot of people chuckle: where Bakugou bites AM's hand. This kid has been giving his absolute all, putting every ounce of strength into beating his idol, because, lbh, his self worth depends on his success here, until he literally cannot raise his arms to punch anymore. And yet, he still refuses to go down, despite every odd against him. Something about that tenacity is just so incredible to me.
It's almost 1am, let's have another break, shall we?
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Idk I thought it was funny when it came onto my dash.
Btw, it's now I wish I knew how to hide most of a post lololol.
Season three is just Baku's season, ngl. Like,,, so many of his Stans got their start here, and it's not hard to tell why. A big reason why Bakugou felt irredeemable was because he had no reason to be so mean, but the narrative makes up for that by then putting him through so many bad experiences.
There's been a million metas on why he's so perfect in this season, and this is already abhorrently long, but ah well.
Okay so he's captured by the League through no fault of his own. As the audience when we find out Bakugou is missing we immediately think he's done the dumb thing and gone off on his own, but it's quickly revealed that he's already been kidnapped. Tokoyami is also taken, cementing that the LoV are looking for kids with some villainous feature, but also showing that their perception of what makes a child villainous is skewed, since we know Tokoyami is good.
At the hideout Baku is entirely restrained and silent, so clearly against his will. If we remember every other time he's been restrained (so goddamn many) we'll think back to the Sludge Villain, finding out Deku had a quirk, after his *win* against Todoroki and his internship with BJ. In this way, it's obvious to tell that this is all a Bad experience for him, as those were all very negative times in his life. There's no way he'll join them.
None of the pros even consider it a possibility. Aizawa defends him against the press (and, once again, we like Aizawa! So we trust him) and none of his classmates think he could be evil, they're all primarily concerned for his safety. Even BJ, who insinuated that Baku could easily become a villain, doesn't appear to believe he'll turn down that path.
Also Baku is pretty cool when he fights of the villain like I'm ngl.
And then, when he sees All Might? And his face screws up? With his lip trembling? It's undercut with a joke but he's so obviously just a scared/relieved kid in that moment and it's gut wrenching to remember that.
It's really getting late and I'm at 11% here so speed round through the provisional licence exam.
He can tell Shindou is two faced
Even though he's blunt he's still got the instincts and smarts of a hero
The class looks up to him
Aizawa has a lot of favouritism for this child, y'all, how did I not notice this?
His failure here is intrinsic to his character growth as it means he hits absolute rock bottom and we can move onto:
Deku Vs Kacchan 2
Where to even start. The guilt and pain he experiences has made me tear up several times just from thinking about them, and that GODDAMN VOICE CRACK AS HE YELLS nope it hurts too bad.
It's sort of the culmination of every emotional issue Bakugou has exhibited throughout the series. He can't find self worth without constant praise and pressures himself to be unimaginably perfect, to a self destructive point. He has no support system in place to help him with these issues. His anger stops being repetitive/funny/annoying and is finally, clearly shown to be more damaging to himself than to anyone else, as he feels the only way he can deal with his stress and hurt is by lashing out at those who try to help him.
In this fight we also learn why Deku, even though he's Baku's victim, still looks up to him so much. And the whole dynamic is so perfect I might cry rn.
I am annoyed, though, that further than that Baku's mental health has been pretty much entirely ignored for 200 manga chapters. Probably my only complaint about him.
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At an entirely selfish level, I can relate to Bakugou. Obviously I'm not a teenage boy with explosion powers who bullies people in order to feel any self worth, but the high standards for himself? The pain at any failures? Being told through childhood how great you are only for it to be torn away in your teens? That's all so painfully relatable to me, and so I feel an even deeper connection with his character.
One last picture to finish off:
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