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yoditorian · 4 years

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lacuna- part 1

din/reader

she’s here!!!!! she’s here!!!!! i decided to split it up into parts to give me more time to write and put u all (ellie) out of your misery. thank you for being patient, and thank you to everyone who was so kind about the teaser!!

set waaaaaay before the series, this is Target Practice Din

MASTERLIST

word count: just shy of 2.5k

warnings: some swears bc it’s me, overuse of italics, probably some spelling mistakes, non graphic smut but it is Highly Implied, so for that reason 18+ only pls no babies.

“Have you ever removed your helmet?”

“No.” He grits out.

“Has it ever been removed by others?”

“Never.”

He’s lying.

___________________

You practically fly down from the cockpit the second you touch down, shoving Ran between the shoulder blades. He stumbles down the last few feet of the ramp, and skids across the ground on his ass. In any other situation, you might have laughed. But in any other situation, you probably wouldn’t have pushed him.

“What the fuck was that?”

He only sputters out a half baked excuse about the mission, it’s enough to have you drawing your blaster. Only it's not in the holster you keep strapped to your thigh.

Your gaze is cold as ice as you turn to see your gun dangling from Mando’s index finger. He stands above you on the ramp, apparently unaffected by your outrage even though Ran’s actions could have ended very differently for all four of you. Xi’an laughs haughtily from a crate inside the ship, she’s lucky you’re unarmed.

“He almost got us killed.” You reason, not even sparing a glance at the man still cowering from you on the floor. Mando shrugs. Like it's nothing.

“And yet, we made it.” He says, dropping the blaster back into your holster as he descends the ramp.

You’re all only alive because you were quick enough on your feet to take over, because you were on the guns, because you made the lightspeed calculations mid-dogfight to get the fuck out of there. Something everyone else seems to have conveniently not noticed. Ran’s on his feet, dusting himself off, Mando has already stalked off into the hangar, and Xi’an’s hot on his heels. You heave an annoyed sigh, adrenaline leaching the energy from your bones, and scuff your boots the rest of the way down the ramp. Ran catches your arm when you pass him, grip just a little too tight to be friendly.

“Empire’s always looking for pilots, I could just put you back where I found you.” He says lowly as you rip your arm from him. It’s not an empty threat. He knows there’s nothing left for you on Corellia besides an arrest warrant and a swift execution. There’ll be bruises in the shape of his fingertips by morning, you can feel them already. It’s not the first time and, if you’re being honest, you know it won’t be the last. The pouch of credits Qin hands you for a job well done makes that particular pill a little easier to choke down, at least.

Your room at Ran’s space station isn’t much, but you’ve done what you can. There’s only a bed and a desk, the matching chair missing long before you moved in, a shelving unit and a viewport. An old blanket, loosely crocheted and full of holes, lies crumpled atop the sheets. It was white once, used to swaddle you as a baby, but that was before the sweat and the ash and the bloodstains. It’s the only thing you’d brought with you when you had to run, wrapped around your shoulders to shield you from the night’s chill at the last minute. You hadn’t even had time to put shoes on. The viewport window is another comfort, barely bigger than the datapad that lies forgotten on your pillow, but you pay the boss dearly for your view. Lights blinking on the ceiling reflect in the scratched glass, and the mismatched floor panels creak under your weight as they always do. It’s home, even if the space station itself feels like the loneliest place in the universe sometimes. With one last glance at the swirling stars as the station slowly turns, you’re practically asleep before your head hits the pillow.

You have to pee.

One look out into the corridor presents you with closed doors and lowered lights. Sleep hours, then. It’s hard to keep track of time when it’s always night outside, although living off-planet isn’t so bad once you get used to it. Rest here comes when you can get it, as opposed to the fancy artificial sunrise/sunset lighting cycles you’ve heard about on inner rim stations. It doesn’t sound like anyone’s awake to judge you for shuffling to the bathroom in your socks anyway.

The light is too bright in comparison to the dim hall, and you almost jump back from your reflection in the small mirror. Bloodshot eyes, rumpled shirt, you really should have done something with your hair before you passed out. You’re sure you’ve never looked more exhausted. Sleep hasn’t come easy in the few years you’ve spent on the station, dreams plagued by flashes of the reason you came here in the first place. Running, choking on the smoke in your lungs, an old friend’s blood splattering across your cheek. The only rest you really get is when you work yourself down to the bone, until you can’t keep your eyes open anymore, but you know you’re not the only one.

The door across from yours is open when you go back to your room, Mando standing in the frame, backlit by a lamp like he’s the hero from one of those propaganda movies you snuck into as a kid. You pause in your own doorway, it’s probably a bad idea to call him out on it. It’d probably only start an argument and then you’d have to deal with the only person you could count on to watch your six being mad at you.

“You should have backed me up earlier.” Your mouth takes the decision away from you. He waits for a moment, silently, like he’s expecting you to say more. But you leave it there.

“I did.”

You’re turning to shut the door when he finally answers, and it takes everything in you not to shout at him in the middle of the hall.

“If that’s what backing someone up looks like to Mandalorians, then I think I’d rather you didn’t at all.” You hiss, exhaustion feeding into your anger. It’s not the way you should be speaking to him, or anyone, but you’re just too tired to care.

Mando’s spine goes rigid and you almost regret the dig, not that you have time to think about it before he’s walking right towards you and backing you into the darkness of your room. You can just about see the ceiling panel lights blink in the reflection of his visor. It’s only as he moves that you spot the bag slung over his shoulder.

“Where are you going?” You ask, barely a whisper. You’ve never been this close to him before, chest to chest, alone. The warmth you can feel even from under the armour threatens to make your head spin.

“Home.” He leaves it at that. Never one to use more words than he needs to. You didn’t even know he had a home to go back to. There’s a lot you don’t know about the man in front of you, but he’s loyal to the bone. That much is plain to see.

“Don’t you ever think about going home?”

“My home is here.” Your answer is final, although you can feel the raised eyebrow through his helmet. You’re no more attached to the space station than you are any of the planets you’ve yet to visit. It’s not home, nowhere is. But you’ve been here since you were sixteen, years before the rest of your team, it’s as close as you’ll get to belonging somewhere. Mando doesn’t respond, doesn’t ask any questions, only stands with you for a long moment. Breathing. He’s good like that. You’ve never felt the pressure to fill any silence with him, he seems to exist so comfortably in it. It’s easier that way, probably for you both. You don’t know much about Mandalorians, the only stories you’ve heard are the ones Qin told you drunk in a seedy cantina when Mando first joined. Horror stories. If his past is anything similar to yours, he’s grateful for the absence of questions too.

“So it’s goodbye, then?” You’re yet to break his stare.

“Yes.”

Is he closer, somehow?

“Would you have said goodbye if I wasn’t already awake?”

He’s definitely closer.

Mando reaches behind him to tap the control panel on the wall, sliding the door shut and leaving you in the darkness. He lets his bag slip off his shoulder, lowering it to the floor suspiciously silently for one you know is crammed with weaponry, and walks you further into the room. You can’t really see much at all, only the steady blinking of the little red lights in the ceiling.

“You trust me?” It’s so quiet, you wonder if you imagined the words.

He’s never given you a reason not to.

“Keep your eyes closed?”

“I promise.”

It takes a moment before he lifts the lip of the helmet high enough, and another long few seconds of just being without barriers for him to kiss you. And kiss you he does.

The breath you get in before your lips touch is all him, turning your insides to liquid gold. Everywhere he touches you sets a fire. For a man so rough, he is so careful, he handles you as though you’ll break at the slightest breeze. As though he is wholly undeserving of such sweetness. Part of you thinks he’s convinced he is. It’s a first and a last kiss, a hello and a goodbye kiss, the way he tries to suffocate himself in you is evidence enough that you won’t be here again. You won’t get to have him like this again. He stays close when you finally break apart, taking his helmet off completely and placing it down on your desk with a decisive thunk.

“Mando-”

“Din. My name is Din.” He shouldn’t tell you. He shouldn’t have taken his helmet off, he shouldn’t have even thought about it. Although his fear of losing everything he has is almost overwhelming, it’s nothing compared to this. The fear that you would never know him as he is, as he has always been. The relief that brings tears to his eyes when you don’t shy away, when you lean into him. Like you want him too. You shouldn’t hold his creed in your hands but he gives it willingly. Of course he does. He’s never really been able to deny you anything.

“Din.”

The smile is so clear in your voice as you whisper it back to him. The way you say his name sounds like a song. A prayer. Hushed and reverent like it’s something sacred, something holy. He knows it’s safe on your tongue. Din lays you back on the bed, gently, wool of the ratty blanket soft against your skin.

Din. He’s nothing but gentle with you. Hands barely there as they pull layers of clothing from the both of you, stripping himself of his armour, of The Mandalorian. Until there’s just him. Just a man, no more and no less than anybody else. A man who wishes he hadn’t been so stubborn and dismissive of his own desires; wishes he’d given in to this, to you, sooner. His mouth doesn’t leave your skin for a second, like he could digest you one kiss at a time if he tried hard enough. Part of him doesn’t want to leave, he wants to stay in this bed with you in the dark and just exist. Your body in his hands and your moans in his mouth and absolutely nothing else. He needs you in between his teeth, on his tongue. He’s never needed anything else quite so badly.

The emotion isn’t lost on you, it’s the first and last time you’ll ever be with him. He’ll go after this, you don’t pretend otherwise. You won’t get to have him, in any way you want to, after this. So you lose yourself in him, in everything he gives and takes on those threadbare blankets in your room. The taste of him gets committed to memory and you swear you’ll never eat again if it means his sweat stays on your tongue. You dig your nails hard into his shoulders, you hope he’ll look at them before they fade. Hope he’ll see the marks you gave him and know that he is wanted. He is so desperately wanted and he has no idea. You kiss him with reckless abandon, cards on the table in all but words. So he can know, so he can come back. If that’s what he wants.

You stay tangled with him for a long time. Spit cooled and sweat dried. You’ve never stayed this long with anybody, but you’re not speeding to the ‘fresher. You want to drench yourself in everything he is until you never feel without him again.

“Take the Razor Crest. She’s old but virtually untraceable, and faster than anything else in that hangar. I think you can handle her.” You laugh lightly, tracing a finger over the ridge of his wrist where his arm is curled tight around your chest. Din wishes he could drown in the sound.

He takes your advice, once you’re asleep. Once he’s convinced himself to pull away from your warmth and go back to the life he knows. The one without you. The Razor Crest looms over him in the empty hangar, but something about its presence is comforting when he knows you were the one to put her together.

“He took the fucking Crest!”

The shout from the corridor jolts you awake, significantly warmer than you should be, and you find your old shirt and sweatpants pulled back on your body. Din. The thought of him so carefully redressing you, touch gentle enough not to wake you, makes your heart swell. It shouldn’t, but you can’t help it. With a heavy sigh, you flick the lights on from the panel by your bed and pull yourself to your feet. The door slides open with a wave of your hand by the door panel and you’re met with a very angry, very red-faced, Ran.

“You wouldn’t know anything about this would you, sweetheart?” He grounds out, eyes zeroing in on the mark you know Din sucked into your shoulder only hours ago. You pull the neckline of your top back up to where it should be and shake your head tiredly. Even if you hadn’t been thoroughly rammed into your mattress the night before, it’s far too early for anyone to be shouting up a storm. The rest of the crew come filtering out, rubbing eyes and calling out accusations at each other. It’s enough to give you a headache.

Maybe a space station in the middle of nowhere isn’t a forever home after all. Maybe there’s somewhere else out there for you. Maybe it just took somebody else taking the leap to make up your mind.

You don’t know where you’ll end up, but you have a pretty good idea of where to start.

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TAGLIST (people who showed interest pls lmk if u want to be removed)

@remmysbounty @aq-vetina @brothersdrxke

#everybody pray my tags work or i think i will actually cry #lacuna #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #star wars #fic #liz does words #smut

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reallybadfeeling · 3 years

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My Obikin Playlist Masterpost

I'm gonna try to explain my reasoning, but you can give each song whatever interpretation you want. Also, use them however you want if any of them inspire you to make something creative.

(PS: Sorry for my ranting on the first song. I'm very passionate about it in particular.) (Tagging @imtryingsstuff because she asked for it. Even though I was already working on this post before she asked. I have way too much free time.)

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❧ Heart + Bones - Roisin O

I've tried to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times But I was always too scare of what I might find But if I keep on blocking this pain out It might be too late To heal my heart somehow Don't wanna open that wound Don't wanna replay that night Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know that love is gone 'Cause if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind It's the heart and bones It's an empty soul The dreams at night that shake me to my core And I can't get up off this floor It's in the bones of me An empty soul in me The dreams at night that shake me to my core I can't get off this floor [...] Don't wanna think about you When you're no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone [...] The dreams at night that shake me to my core I just can't take this hurting anymore [...] Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone 'Cause if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all I've tries to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times

A fair warning: each and every break-up song in this playlist is basically me crying at the idea of a very heart broken Obi-Wan post RotS alone on Tatooine. But for this song in particolar I mention the repetitions with the slight differences because in my eyes they are actually HUGE! The more the song goes on, the more Obi-Wan is spiraling! The way it specifically tells that the empty soul is his the second time, like he accepts that despite what Anakin did he still thinks there's a soul there to save, and the idea of not doing so makes his soul feel empty. And the switch from "get up off this floor" to "get off this floor", literally him being so desperate he stops thinking that he wants to get up (and the last time it literally becomes "i just can't take this hurting anymore", because Obi-Wan had to see so many people he loves die, he literally can't take any more breaking of his heart). The first "you are no longer mine" is the realization hitting him, but then it becomes "when you are no longer mine" and that feels like acceptance of that realization (but then later in the song it turns back to "you are no longer mine" like he's so desperate he wants to deny it once again, distance himself from it)! The switch from "that love" from "this love", like the first time he's thinking about how Anakin no longer loves him, but then realizes that no matter how much he still loves Anakin, there is actually nothing he can do about how everything is broken. But most of all the first time it's "if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind", which is Obi-Wan still being rational about things, or at least trying not to let his mind linger on the thought of Anakin; but then at the end it becomes "if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all", because he's already thinking about Anakin and he can't let his mind linger on it, otherwise he would realize how much he lost when he lost Anakin, which is everything. And the ending too, by repeating the start, but now it has a feeling of resignation to it, like at first he was literally scared to let himself linger on his feelings because he knew he would find heart break, but now he's just empty and at the same times he knows he'll feel like that a thousand times more, because he just can't let that hurt go, he can't let his love for Anakin be forgotten. ... I love this song and it shows. I mean, the playlist is literally named after it for a good reason. I swear I'll be less wordy for every other explanation.

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❧ Black Hole - Griff

It seems like things are going really well for you I wish that I could say the same about me too I wish that I could say the same [...] Without a trace You disappeared and took some of me with you, babe Like the way I used to laugh untile my belly ached Well, that's all gone away now And boy, you know I've tried to pray, I've bruised my knees I've tried to bring you back to me I've tried my best to find some kind of peace Don't you see? There's a big black hole where my heart used to be And I've tried my best to fill it up with things I don't need It don't work like that, no, it's not easy To fill this gap that you left in me

So, I see this as a song for an AU, maybe a Modern Au. Something basic like the two of them maybe being neighbors and Obi-Wan maybe being a tutor for Anakin when he was a teen, and Anakin having a huge crush on him. But then Obi-Wan marries and Anakin is heart broken. (Don't worry the idea is also that Obi-Wan gets a divorce and comes back to Anakin, but still, the song fits for the first part of this idea). But feel free to see whatever else you want in it.

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❧ Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips

I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bride To make you well, to make you well When enemies are at your door I'll carry you away from war [...] Give me reasons to believe That you would do the same for me And I will do it for you, for you Baby, I'm not moving on I'll love you long after you're gone

This is honestly a classic. It would fit with any ship, but that line about lying, cheating, etc... That screams Anakin. Like, literally canon that he would do anything to keep the person he loves with him.

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❧ What You Talking About? - Peter Bjorn and John

You used to be my hero Now you're just another boss [...] Five years as your understudy When I can't understand what you talking about [...] Tell me lies and I will listen Tell the truth and I'll be gone Tell me why I need permission [...] Shining in your shadow How could I sink this low? Our acquaintance has been so-so And I can't understand where my patience's gone

These lyrics just give me very frustrated Anakin as a Padawan trying to navigate his relationship with Obi-Wan. Not very romantic or shippy, but still relevant in my opinion.

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❧ Bruci la città - Irene Grandi

(Let) The city burn down or live in fear (that) within two hours everything will disappear anything else will disappear [...] I can't stop (myself) from screaming That I hold you to my heart To protect you from evil That I wish I could soothe Your pain, your pain [...] (Let) The stars explode (Let) The whole thing explode (Let) Everything other than the two of us die At least for a little bit At least as a mistake [...] I want to get my act together Maybe be better And shield you with my heart From catastrophe and fear

Don't really know why, but this makes me think of a quiet moment in the middle of the Clone Wars, just Anakin and Obi-Wan alone in a tent, hoping to have a moment of peace in each other's arms. (If you want the full lyrics translated let me know, I just picked my favorite parts)

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❧ Atlantis - Seafret

We got here the hard way All those words that we exchange Is it any wonder things get dark? 'Cause it's in my heart, it's in my head I never take back the things I said [...] I can't save us My Atlantis, we fall We've built this town on shaky ground [...] Now all the birds have fled The hurt just leaves me scared Losing everything I've ever known It's all become too much Maybe I'm not built for love If I knew that I could reach you, I would go

SO MUCH OBI-WAN ANGST POST-ROTS! Like, the birds that have fled are the Jedi that survived Order 66, the things impossible to take back a reference to the entire conversation between Anakin and Obi-Wan during their duel... And the one thing that always breaks me: "maybe I'm not built for love", which makes me think about that "infinte sadness" thing that comes from one of the novels. *chef kiss*

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❧ No Time To Die - Billie Eilish

I should have known I'd leave alone Just goes to show That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe We were a pair [...] You were my life, but like is far away from fair Was I stupid to love you? Was I reckless to help? Was it obvious to everybody else? That I'd fallen for a lie You were never on my side [...] I let it burn You're no longer my concern Faces from my past return Another lesson yet to learn

Don't know about you, but this always makes me think of a lonely and bitter Obi-Wan after RotS. There's also another way of reading this honestly. This could absolutely be Anakin spiraling at the end of RotS, convinced that Padmé doesn't love him anymore; and then Vader facing Luke (the face from the past returning) and realizing the one who always lied to him was Palpatine.

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❧ White Flag - Dido

I know I left too much mess and Destruction to come back again And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again And if you live by the rules of "it's over" Then I'm sure that that makes sense But I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be And when we meet Which I'm sure we will All that was there Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on

There's no doubt that this song has been overused. And it is a very classic meme, so sometimes it's hard to take it seriously. But I still love it. And I can't help but relate this to something with Vader trying to redeem himself but failing at that too, and his and Obi-Wan's relationship still being broken as fuck.

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❧ Fight the End - The playground

When it's all falling apart I'll be the one who can hold you Console you When everything's getting dark And you can't find the spark To get through I'll fight for you till the end Whatever's broken I'll mend For you If you think it's all gone Just breathe in and hold on Till the end of time

Once again, just some H/C during the Clone Wars kind vibes, but also good for an apocalypse AU of some kind.

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❧ Hanging On A Lie - Striking Matches

I'm not mentioning a specific part of this song, because the entire thing in my head is just the whole journey of Anakin turning to the Dark Side and then turning back to the Light right before he died. Seriously, up until the first chorus, it's just Anakin talking about what he feels like about Padmé's supposed betrayal. ("Baby you've been up to something / don't you tell me it's not what it looks like" but also "I might have been naive but I'm not blind" and "Don't you know you should know better than this / Than to cover up the truth with your poisonous lips/I'm not falling for it this time"). The second half of the song is Vader facing Luke. ("I'll be the one who got away from you when you / finally figure it out / you won't find me"). And the last part is Vader realizing all the lies Palpatine told him all alon. ("I'm not fallin' for it this time/try and try too little too late" and again the "you should know better than this/than to cover up the truth with you poisonous lips") A bit of a weird interpretation, that's for sure. But look at me making a song about cheating all about Anakin's journey!

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❧ Bloodsport '15 - Raleigh Ritchie

Your love is worth it and for that I will wait And though you hate me when you have a turn I drive you crazy, but you always return [...] Although you love me, sometimes we're mean Things can get ugly, but we're still a team We are an army that breaks from withing but That's why we're stronger and that's how we'll win [...] I've got your back, and though it's stacked against us I've got your hand, it's us against consensus And I will burn the people who hurt you the worst and I will no learn Cause I am too young and too dumb to consider the terms of breaking the law And I'll curse the day that they return With a smile on my face as their heads hit the floor And they're done, now it's curtains, the bloodlust's a clusterfuck, it hurts but it's working And even if you ask me to stop, it's too late because I've already decided their fate It's not a distaste, it's pure hate and it pulsates and it works its way around my brain Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I'll protect you till the day I meet my maker So don't fight me now cause you might need me later Loving you is a bloodsport Fighting in a love war It's not what I'm in love for, I'm yours I don't know if you can help it, maybe I'm just being selfish

Soooo, basically Anakin doing to Obi-Wan what he did to Padmé: loving him so much he thinks he has to turn to the Dark Side to save him. The first part I can almost imagine said by Obi-Wan, actually. Like, he's aware that sometimes Anakin hates their dynamics, but also that they are both in love... Which just ends with total madness.

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❧ Sweet Love of Mine - Joy Williams

I was broken, I was blind Lost in a moment I thought I left behind Then you woke up this dark soul of mine Carrying a light I thought I'd never find When you found me, I was all alone The whole world around me, but nowhere to call home I heard your voice sing like heaven's choir Gathered up my fears and threw them in the fire

I'm well aware this song is about pregnancy and how the singer found herself in the experience of becoming a mother. BUT, hear me out: what about an AU with either one of them being a Sith and the other one is still a Jedi. Instead of fighting each other, the Jedi tries to save the Sith, because they realize that the Sith actually never had a chance to be anything else since they grew up with a Sith as their "parent" and Master. But if we still want to keep the pregnancy element, fuck it! It's perfect for an Omegaverse AU, with Anakin maybe about to fall when he finds out he's pregnant and that is how Obi-Wan and their unborn child save Anakin. (Is this very specific? Yes. Do I care? Nope, and that's why this song made it into the playlist.)

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❧ Senza fare sul serio - Malika Ayane

There's a post on my blog already about why this song makes me think about the Jedi Order in general. I know I should probably keep it in a different playlist. Alas, it's still here. Have a link to my previous post if you are interested on reading a complete translation and the explanation of my reasoning. HERE!

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❧ Conversations in the Dark - John Legend

I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart [...] And we, we got places we both gotta be But there ain't nothing I would rather do Then blow off all my plans for you

It's just such a lovely love song, I couldn't help myself. This seriously gives me sappy Obi-Wan vibes in any way, shape or form.

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❧ If You Ever Leave, I'm Coming With You - The Wombats

You know I'll do Whatever you want me to [...] Take you out of this You reluctant optimist And if you ever leave, I'm coming with you Stuck to the gum that's stuck on your shoe If you ever leave, I'm coming with you [...] Am I losing you in the dark baby? No more breaking stuff No more acting up Filling your head with doubt

A song about the obsessive kind of love that hints of a way too dependent relationship? Something that mentions losing themselves in the dark? Of fucking course I relate this to Anakin and the way he loves people!

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❧ Transplant - Sea Girls

You're breaking all the promises tonight I'm always dancing by myself as the music plays I'm always one step behind, off-beat, out of place Now I'm looking for you, you're looking away [...] Your heart changed Mine stayed the same I don't recognize your voice when you're saying my name Your heart changed And mine beats the same way [...] Wish I could be back in the moment We were shining, we were making mistakes 'Til your heart changed Mine stayed the same

Have I mentioned that I have a lot of RotS feels? Yeah, so, in my head the "dancing" works like an analogy to fighting and the "music" is literally the sound of battle. Which is why this fits perfectly as far as I'm concerned. An even the "always one step behind" part is just Obi-Wan not realizing Anakin was slowly turning to the Dark Side. But it can be related also to how Anakin basically felt like he didn't truly belong with the Jedi.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Read my Mind - JONES

Can't control my thoughts But I'm trying every day [...] But sometimes I want impossible things When you hear my voice, what does it say? Need a language, we're lost in translation From impossible thoughts and feelings Why don't you know before I know? What I need to say, before I can How come you don't have the answer Before I asked you the question? Wish you could read my mind [...] It's been a long time since we've been together In the same world, just want you to look at me Like I was everything you ever wanted again [...] Just hold me like I'm everything you wanted again

A good song of the two people pining will always make me think of those two dorks. And their feeling are definitely lost in translation even in canon, with Anakin never realizing how much Obi-Wan actually cares for him because of Palpatine's manipulations.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ So Much It Hurts - Niki & The Dove

Oh, I ask you where you've been 'Cause you always come home late nowadays What a fool was I to think we were safe From the thieves in the temple [...] Oh, won't you bring it back? After all that we've been through together Is it now you gonna throw it all away? Oh, a love like ours Tell me, was it worth it? Oh, the thieves in the temple Oh, but you said that For better for worse You would always be there for me Always be there for me Always be there for me like I'll always be there for you Good times and bad times

So this screams Padmé being cheated on. Like, Anakin still married to her, yet he is always sneaking away after they spend time together to be in the Temple with Obi-Wan. Like, Obi-Wan is literally the thief in the Temple that steals Anakin away from her. (Which I'm sure is actually a metaphor for how the couples' marriage is the temple and someone is disrespecting it by taking away the other's lover. But look at me making this literal, 'cause why not!).

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Power & Control - Marina

Give a little, get a lot That's just how you are with love [...] Think you're funny, think you're smart Think you're gonna break my heart Think you're funny, think you're smart Yeah, you may be good looking But you're not a piece of art [...] Power and control I'm gonna make you fall I'm gonna make you fall We give and take a little more 'Cause all my life I've been controlled You can't have peace without a war

Another song for an AU, this time one with both of them being Sith, most likely being enemies too at first. Before they decide to work together against Anakin's Master.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ No Hero - Elisa

Don't you shut your eyes And hide you heart behind a shadow 'Cause you can count on me As long as I can breathe [...] I've fallen from grace Yeah, I'm much less a saint than a sinner Oh, no I ain't no superhuman 'Cause that's just in the movies, I know But I'll carry you throught the night Through the storm Give you love, always love in return I can't jump over buildings I'm no hero But love can do miracles I can't outrun a bullet 'Cause I'm no hero But I would take one for you [...] 'Cause I'm no hero But I'd spill my blood for you If you need me to I'll be there

Another song from an Italian artist, but this one is in English! And I totally see this song for a scenario where one of the two isn't a Jedi or even for a Modern AU. But it can totally work for Canon compliant too because Anakin is the one every calls hero with no fear. It fits then if Obi-Wan tells Anakin that he doesn't feel like a hero, but he would do anything for Anakin.

☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧

SOOOO, this post is getting way to long (like, it was way too long even just with the first song). And I made it to an even 20 songs. I feel like this a nice place to stop for now. Don't worry, these are just the first 20. I have more in my private playlist, but I want to make another post like this when I add them to the public one. Because I can. And that's what I'm gonna do.

#obikin #obikin playlist #star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #if you do anything with these song please TAG ME!#I wanna know!#i get very emotional for heart + bones #it's one of my favorite song ever #the subtle poetry of it gets to me every single time #that is THE break up song #fight me over it #maybe I should have made a single post about it #that would have been smarter #oh well #also sorry for the truly terrible icon #i have no photoshop skill whatsoever #Spotify

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bleh-bleh-blehs · 4 years

Text

Paps and Cafes [T.H x Reader]

A/N- so hey I am back with my shitty fics. This is low-key based on my friend’s life and thanks to her for letting me write it down (only she knows what is the truth and what’s not). Anyways feel free to ignore:)

Summary- Is there any difference between being stressed at home than being stress at a cafe? Yes there is. You can put a show for others but in your case a certain someone came in for your aid.

Warning- None

Word Count- 1.6k

Life was not easy. Not as easy as you thought it would be. No one prepared you for the taxes, rent and bills. And literally no one told you how hard doing a job can be. Your salary was nothing compared to the hard work you did; the stress you took.

You had no fun at all. Either you were too tired to go out and have a night out with your friends or you did extra office work for a bonus. Just like now. You are sitting in an outdoor cafe doing your office’s work when you could have been enjoying this weekend by relaxing.

Why were you here?

Because you thought that it would be a good idea. You thought that it would refresh your mind, better than stupid small aparment. But guess what it wasn’t.

You were still stressed. The people around were either on a date or were with their friends or family. Practically radiating good vibes. You tried not to stare at them but the task in our hand almost made you cry.

Reaching out for the file beside the plate of donut; accidentally knocking the plate over. But you were too overwhelmed to care. Tightly clutching the file, tears of frustration evident in your eyes. It was getting too much now.

“Come on Tess. We don't eat food off the floor. I am really sorry for your donut. Do you want me to buy you a new one?” the person asked.

Looking up you saw a man wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap with hoodie on. You simply nodded your head in a no, wiping some tears away. “It’s okay. I don’t mind at all.” you gave a weak smile. Honestly you have lost your appetite. You just eat because it is necessary.

“Can I ask if it was a chocolate donut? The man asked.

“No, it was a plain one.” the man took the seat in front of you, taking off his glasses. “I know that this is none of my business but are you okay?”

“Would you believe me if i said that I am.”

“No. I just know that you are stressed because look at your table. All this stuff is giving me a headache so…. I think you should just wrap it up to clear your mind. And I don't wanna hear any excuse. okay? ” he didn’t press the matter further. He definitely doesn’t know what is going on in your life. All he knows is that he isn’t gonna leave you like this.

You wanted to argue but it is not like anyone is this friendly to you on a daily basis. And a little walk wouldn’t harm.

“You know what you should quit that job. I mean you don’t deserve being treated like that” tom said as he took the last bite of his ice cream. You still couldn’t believe that Tom Holland,the famous and successful actor, the heartthrob of almost all of the girls was talking to you.

He listened to you rant about your almost pathetic life and even bought you your favourite ice cream.

You were of course shocked when you realised who he was despite him telling that he is a normal person like everyone else. He also squeezed your hand to reassure you that this is not a dream; that he is actually here.

Both of you talked about your lives, likes and dislikes, hobbies. Only the basic stuff. You told him about your low salary job, your evil boss and your not so friendly coworkers. Your love life which was near to extinction. And about your parents who desperately wanted you to get settled.

“It’s not that easy Tom. I am looking for another job but I don’t know when I will find one. At least this job pays enough for food and shelter.” you told him or more like convinced yourself.

Silence fell between you both until Tessa whimpered. She was obviously tired from the long walk and it was getting cold and windy as the sun started to set. “I guess this is where we part.” you said softly. Praying that this moment never ends. But of course that was not gonna happen.

“Yeah.” he gave you a soft smile. And you were sure that you were giving the heart eyes. Making a fool of yourself as usual.

“Oww!”

“What? What happened?”

“I got something in my eye.” you were hopelessly trying to get whatever the hell was in your eye out. “Wait a moment. Let me see.” Tom’s large hands cup your face while you get a hold on his arms out of instinct.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” it felt weird as his finger touched your eyeball. “Stop moving. You are making this harder than it already is!” you stopped fidgeting instantly.

“There you go.” Tom backed away from you as you tried to blink away the uneasy feeling. “Let’s walk you home shall we?” Tom said as he picked very tired Tessa from the ground and carried her as if she was a toddler.

“You don’t have to.” he just smiled. “I want to.” never in million years you thought that a top notch actor will walk you to your apartment.

“I am sorry if I am intruding but I can’t believe you are not dating somebody and you just gave up on your friends. Is your job really worth it?” he asked with genuine curiosity.

“I am single by my choice not because of my job. My last relationship didn’t end well. She cheated on me and my “friends” took her side except my coworker Andy. I have got trust issues since then.” you explained him.

“I am so sorry” he felt guilty to make you remember your relationship again.

“Don’t be. I did go on a date once; the guy gave me a judgy look as soon as I told him that I am a bisexual. I mean do nice people just stop existing or what?” you huffed in annoyance.

Meanwhile Tom was trying to process everything in his brain. He was actually starting to like you and was worried that you won’t feel the same way for him since you were into girls. But he heard word ‘bisexual’ his worries vanished. There is nothing stopping him from taking you on a date.

Tom was smiling to himself until he heard the shutter of the camera went off. That could be only one thing.

Paparazzi

Tom spotted two people not so far from them. Tessa tried to wiggle out of Tom’s arms but he didn’t let her. “Y/N hold my arm and keep up with my pace. The paps are here.” you immediately started to look up for them.

“No Y/N don’t look for them!” Tom whisper yelled.

The two of you walked as fast as you could. Taking the subway to go to your house. You and Tom stood close to each other, completely aware that someone recognised Tom and snuck some pictures of you both.

Tessa whimpered again and again; the poor baby was too uncomfortable. You scratched her head to soothe her as she laid her head on Tom’s shoulder. While Tom was giving you heart eyes.

You sighed in relief as you reached your apartment. The whole day has been a roller coaster ride for you. Tom and Tessa followed you behind you. Tessa quickly jumped on your couch, closing her eyes, trying to get some rest.

“Do you want something to eat or drink?” you asked Tom. “No I am fine.” Tom said as he took a seat beside Tessa.

“I didn’t really get to enjoy that cafe though.” Tom wondered out loud. “Don’t worry, there many more cafes in the neighbourhood. You can visit them sometime.” You were walking around your apartment, trying to clean it as much as you could. It’s not like you are visited by a celebrity daily.

“I don’t know, maybe you can show me around sometime?” you freezed at your spot. Was Tom Holland asking you on a date. You were freaking out. You are just imagining things right?

“Do you agree with me, darling?” he smirked. How dare him to say that! “It’s alright if you don’t. I mean I totally understand if you don’t want to. I am so sorry because of the paps. I didn’t know that they would find us. I am so sorry Y/N.” he started to ramble. Becoming that adorable sweet bean instantly.

“Oh my god Tom it’s alright. Not the Paparazzi part but I am grateful that Tessa ate my donut and that relieved my stress. I really needed someone like you. I don’t know what we can do about paps, they will just give more stress. But I felt better when you were with me.” Tom gave you that million dollar smile that everybody dies on.

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now.” he confessed.

“What’s stopping you then.”

“No, not before I take you on an actual date.” he grinded. “Which cafe do you want to show me first, Donut?”

“Donut?” you asked him while trying to control your laugh. “Yes donut. What’s so wrong with donut. It’s my nickname for you.” your smile became more wide than before.

“Then what do you want me to call you? Ice cream?”

“Yes?” he gave you a puzzled look. Not sure if he wanted to be called ‘ice cream’. And a thought came to your mind. “You don’t have any problem with me being bisexual?” you asked him. “Why would I? I mean it's not my place to judge or have a problem with it, now is it?” you smiled at his answer, already falling hard for this man.

page divider by @fancyxparker

Tagging:- @fancyxparker @musicalkeys @justanothermarvelmaniac @amorhollands @peterspideysstuff @hollanderfangirl @parkerpeter24 @parker-hollandx @captainchrisstan @whatthefuckimbisexual @liestookmyvibes @rnatasha @seutarose @adriannajackson @ethereal-beauty-p @calltothewild @parkers-gal @azaraspirit @fallinfortom @beverlyparkerr @tommysparker @veronica011sblog @canwekissforever-haz

(I have tagged some mutuals. I am sorry if you didn't wanted to be tagged.)

Send an ask to be on my taglist.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

Text

6x06: You Can't Handle the Truth

Then:

Soulless Sam was a psychotic work of art

Now:

Calumet City, Illinois

Jane, a cute waitress at Biggerson’s, talks on the phone with a friend about whether a boy likes her (Bechdel who?). “I just need the truth,” she implores, as the camera zooms in on her mouth.

She gets the truth. After ending the call, her coworkers start telling her VERY mean things, and a customer admits to running over a homeless man once. People just poor their worst thoughts out at her. Feeling like she’s going crazy, she calls someone to pick her up. Her friend just throws out more mean things at Jane. It’s then that Jane pulls out a gun and kills herself. DARK.

Meanwhile Dean’s on the phone with Bobby about Sam. Bobby says he’ll look into it more and tells Dean, “Don’t shoot him yet.” Once off the phone, Sam brings food and a case.

They head to interview Jane’s sister. She tells Sam that Jane was having a bad day, and she tried cheering her up. Sam --ruthless and blunt-- calls her out on her lie and asks what she did. Dean watches, perplexed. The sister starts crying, and admits that she wanted to console her sister, but it’s not what came out when she talked to her. They leave wondering what could have caused the fatal exchange.

At a dentist’s office, a man sits in the dreaded chair, chit chatting with the dentist. He suddenly admits to not liking his wife anymore, and he’s actually a raging pedophile.

Dean’s back on the phone with Bobby, hoping for answers on whether it’s Sam or Satan that’s Dean’s copilot. Dean’s struggling with the idea that this could just be Sam.

Sam comes back to the motel to report another death --this time a guy got drilled to death. (But by the “non-sexy kind of drilling”, as Dean points out. DUDE.) Dean tells Sam to go interview the dentist alone. He’ll stay behind and do research. Uh, not suspicious at ALL , Dean.

Turns out, the dentist hung himself before Sam could talk with him. They’re thinking that all the truth telling around the deaths point to a curse. While Sam heads to the morgue to check out the body, Dean heads to the dentist’s office. Once there, he finds a receipt for “Harry’s House of Horns” and remembers that Jane also had frequented the store.

He goes to interview the store owner.

The owner asks about progress on his stolen horn. It was a museum piece, a thousand years old, one in a million. It was stolen the same day Jane died.

Later, at the motel, he looks up Gabriel’s Horn, and sarcastically prays to Cas to check out the “loose nuke”, not really expecting the angel to show.

GUYS. I haven’t rewatched this episode in --forever!--and didn’t think Cas was in it. But HE IS. AND we get a “Hello, Dean.”

Dean’s a little (!) pissed that Cas will come for this stupid horn, but not otherwise. Cas reassures Dean that Sam is not Lucifer while pouring him a consolation drink.

Dean asks Cas what’s wrong with Sam, but Cas doesn’t know (Like, doesn’t Cas honestly not know he forgot Sam’s soul or is he lying on purpose?). Dean then stares (and stares) at Cas. He wants to know what Cas’s deal is --when did he stop being human (*whimpering noises*). “I’m at war.”

For Science:

Dean mentions Gabriel’s Horn of Truth and says they think it’s in town. Before he can continue, Cas is gone. (*whimpering noises*)

Dean takes a drink, and Cas is back before he can finish swallowing. He searched the town and didn’t find Gabriel’s horn. Dean turns his back and tells Cas, “Nice seeing you anyway.” Cas tries mending fences a bit by telling Dean that he does want to help with Sam. He tells Dean that he’ll “make inquiries”, and is gone. Dean looks around the room forlornly, and takes another drink.

Sam takes a look at the dead dentist and asks to see the rest of the bodies. The coroner says, “They’re gone.” Gone gone. They’re gone.

Dean sits at a bar, nursing his Cas wounds, and watches the news on the television. Sam calls with the news. He’s at a missing person’s apartment now --and since she died a whole week before the others, he’s thinking the curse started with her.

Dean orders another drink for the road, and utters the words, “I’d just like the freaking truth.” The bartender unloads some serious truths on Dean --and he realizes that he’s cursed.

He calls Bobby to test out his new cursed skills, and learns that Bobby’s drinking milk in the middle of the day and watching Tori and Dean. Lol, nothing to confess at all, Bobby! “I guess it does work over the phone,” Dean laments. Bobby also confesses to pedicures and that Dean’s his favorite (but Sam’s the better hunter). OOF. Said flippantly, but this is one truth siblings never want confirmation on. Dean tells Bobby that he’s cursed --and then he gets an idea.

Dean calls Sam strategically now that he’s carrying the truth curse, and asks him to call him when he has a chance SO HE CAN SPILL. Sam can’t come to the phone right now because he’s going over the case with Corey’s sister. She confesses that her sister was obsessed with finding out the truth about her potentially-cheating boyfriend.

Back with Dean, Lisa calls at the WORST TIME. She confronts him about his behavior - storming in and shoving Ben. “You've got so much buried in there, and you push it down, and you push it down. Do you honestly think that you can go through life like that and not freak out? Just, what, drink half a fifth a night and you're good?”

Lisa then tears into the reappearance of Sam, tagging the Winchesters’ relationship as unhealthy. As soon as Sam reappeared, she knew their relationship was over. Once everything’s laid out, Lisa pauses. “That came out so much harsher than I meant,” she says, softer this time. Dean absorbs her criticism like a towel specially designed for soaking up loathing. She tells him they’re done.

Sam tears through the bedroom looking for evidence. He finds a cat skull under the bed. “Yahtzee,” as they say. Dean storms in and demands the truth about the vampire hunt. Sam goes dewy eyed. He froze when Dean was attacked! And he feels super duper extra duper bad about it! For REALS.

Later, they uncover the truth - quite literally - while doing research back at the motel. The cat skull was part of a ritual to invoke Veritas. Now everybody in town calls on Veritas whenever they demand the truth. Bombarded with the truth, victims kill themselves and become tributes.

Cut to a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it montage of stealing a hard drive from the TV studio of Ashley Frank, local TV anchor. They (mostly Sam) watch cut footage until dawn.

For Pretty Motel Science:

Nothing suspicious appears until a barking dog makes an appearance on film. While the dog barks uncontrollably at the news anchor, they FINALLY notice an eye flash. Monster target LOCKED.

At Ashley Frank’s palatial home, they ready their weapons: blades coated with dog blood. (Sam does NOT want you to ask where he got it from.) The Winchester’s creep through her house, and finally locate an altar-like setup. There are candles, a sculpture of Veritas, and many cute widdle kitties. Veritas arrives and immediately knocks out the Winchesters.

Later, they wake to find themselves tied to posts. Veritas strolls in wearing a fabulous gold gown and gets right in Dean’s face so she can absorb some delicious emotions.

Dean confesses that he feels better about Sam now, but before he thought he was a monster and wanted to kill him. Dean explains that the hunting gig is that you’re either covered in blood, or dying in it. He tells her that he’s good at slicing throats - he isn’t a father. He’s a killer. I SCREAM BECAUSE 15X18 AND 15X19 LEFT US A GIFT (and then 15x20, well……..doesn’t exist).

Sam tells Veritas that their lives are hard, but he and Dean watch out for each other. He’s EXTREMELY chill about the situation. Veritas listens to this calm analysis and then freaks out and accuses him of lying. She demands to know “what” he is, which is SO RUDE.

They could stick around and talk some more, but Sam’s finally done sawing through the ropes holding him down. He escapes, then Dean frees himself as well. Veritas gets stabbed first by Dean, then Sam. She perishes dramatically, but after that foe is defeated, Dean raises a knife to Sam. Dean demands the truth.

Sam reveals that he knows he is “Sam,” but he understands that there’s something wrong with him. He lied, and he let Dean get turned into a vampire because he knew there was a cure, and that Dean could fight it. He admits that old Sam wouldn’t take the risk of Dean turning forever, or killing an innocent person. Sam tells Dean he doesn’t feel anything - and this is what makes him a better hunter. Sam concludes that he needs help.

Dean knocks Sam to the ground and starts throwing several punches at him until he passes out.

The Quotes Hurt:

Dentist drilled a guy to death

I'm here hittin' the books while drinking a nice glass of milk, while watching Tori & Dean

I'm not saying don't be close to Sam. I'm close to my sister. But if she got killed, I wouldn't bring her back from the dead!

It’s the gig. You're covered in blood until you're covered in your own blood

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #spn 6x06 #you can't handle the truth #bobby singer #supernatural season 6

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ikassienatics · 4 years

Text

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐥 ↬ 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩.

summary: half the population survived the blip and that includes peter your boyfriend, while the other half was erased from existence just like you. five years later, the snap was reversed but the world you once lived in changes

warnings: angst but not really, mj being a really cool bad bitch, life lessons from michelle jones, peter moving on, endgame spoilers? but i know you've seen the masterpiece already, mj cursing a lot like a lot.

author’s note: y’all it’s been soo long since i wrote something and this idea popped inside my mind while watching infinity war for the hundredth time, and i just can’t help myself!!!! though to warn y’all, i’m actually not that proud with the outcome of this one, it felt like something is not right, like something is missing or whatnot. and if there’s probably a fic i wrote in which i disliked, this will be it.

a handsome god trying to invade new york is bullshit, a malfunctioned artifical intelligence trying to take over the world is too much. but a purple alien named thanos erasing half the population in your planet is full of shit. the world is a crazy place indeed, you thought you guys have enough, that everything is being handled with care, for fuck’s sake earth has avengers. but turns out, even the earth’s mightiest heroes can’t stop nor survive the snap.

everything happened so fast, one second every student in your university is standing happily inside the gymnasium as they awaited the announcement about the upcoming ball, then the speaker suddenly turned into dust, she fades away like she was nothing, like a bubble, turned into ash. then everyone panicked including you, you just saw a person turned into dust before your eyes, of course you will panic

then you stood up from your seat, taking your boyfriend peter with you as you both decided to run for the exit, then it happened to everyone too. they also started turning dust

then it was your turn.

you didn't really know how it was your turn, you just sensed it that you will fade away just like them, so you did what common teenagers would do. you clung in your boyfriend once you felt the tingling sensation inside your body. it was a scary feeling, and for some reasons the numb pain started fading away, like it find some way to connect with your brain to tell it that there's nothing wrong when technically, everything is wrong. like it was convincing your mind that you don't feel anything. you have never been scared like that before

peter was by your side when that happened, holding you tightly on his arms as if he's trying to stop you from leaving. but nothing stopped the snap, no one manage to stop the blip. not even the earth's mightiest heroes.

and now you're back, sitting alone on the bench with no peter by your side, you stood up from the bench seeing mj looking at her hands weirdly, only half the students inside the gym remains and the speaker on the front, the other half? your peter? they're not here.

rushing towards the tan lady, you approach her with your hear beating faster "mj!" she look up from her hands, eyebrows furrowed and seemingly as confuse as you are

"y/n?" she stood up before you can even reach her sit "what the fuck just happened?" she look around as well, everyone started reaching for their devices, calling their family to make sure they're safe and okay, some even rush towards the exit while some started crying

"i have no idea." you pursed your lips, you and mj are never close. you always get insecure because of the tall girl, thinking that she may have a thing for peter but she always assure you that she don't date boys, she prefer girls. so standing in front of her, let alone talking to her is still awkward for you, but there's no time for that

"did you just came back as well?" she asked you, reaching for her bag and hanging it around her shoulder, you nodded your head "i was actually wondering where peter was. . ." your eyes widen, she might think you don't care about anything but peter, or maybe she will think your ignorant because even after what happened, even if there's a lot to be concern about, you still ask for your boyfriend first "i mean, everyone, i was wondering where half of the students are."

"yeah, me neither." she grabbed her phone from inside her bag, planning to text her parents just like everybody else when she suddenly caught a glimpse of the date on her lockscreen "oh shit!"

your eyes widen "what? what is it?" even though you two were never close and you felt like overstepping a line, putting your nose in her business. you can't help but get curioused because of the expression written all over her face

"what the fuck is this." she showed you her phone and there you saw a 2023 instead of 2019, your eyes also widen in realization reaching for your phone as well and seeing the same thing in your lock screen, you even saw a couple of text and calls from your parents and friends five years ago

five years ago

what the fuck

you licked your lips, about to call your mom when you heard someone speak from behind you and mj "y/n?" the voice is familiar, turning on your heels, you came in contact with a person no other than ned leeds, one of peter's friends.

mj also turn her head making ned switch his eyes from you to her "mj?" he asks, still can't believe what he's seeing. ned changes a lot even after just five minutes, he grew a beard, his hair looks so fresh from hair cut and his body is more lean than before, he looks older. weird

"ned! oh my god." you run towards him, jumping in his arms and hugging him tightly, he did the same closing his eyes in the process and praying that this is not a dream, not anymore, no. this has to be real, everyone has to come back, this has to be the reality.

"hey, man!" mj nodded her head at the man in front fo you, he still looks confuse but not as confuse as the pair "what happened here?"

his eyebrows furrowed "you don't know?" the way he said those words made your heart clench, what really is happening? and where's peter? if ned is here, then peter must be somewhere near, knowing that guy. him and ned are usually always together, even in your dates ned has to tag along, not that you mind. you enjoyed it most of the time

"what? what do you mean?" you look back at mj "we just came back, what happened? why do you look older? did you just came back as well?" you bombared him with question

he shakes his head "no, half of the population survived." your eyes widen, then if half the population survived, does that mean peter survive as well? or maye he's also part of the snap? but where is he. you look back at your seat not long ago, expecting your partner to pop our of nowhere. but there's none, no peter.

"while the other half fade away?" mj continued or more like, asked.

"y-yeah." he nodded "it's been five years." so that's why it's year 2023 and not 2019? but how, how could it happened? why? who did this? you can't help bur ask yourself

"yeah, that answers our question." the curly brunette beside you spoke, referring to what you both just witness a while ago. biting your lip, you fidget with your fingers as you find the right time to ask him a question

"what are you doing here if it's been five years?" you questioned

"i helped my cousin get enrolled, then everyone just. . . just started to come back and i think of going here to see if both of you came back as well." he answers softly

you slightly smiled at him "w-where's. . . where's peter?" you saw how ned's body froze, how almost all the blood in his face dissapeared by your question, like he's suddenly afraid of something. his happy and chill personality faded just like the snap

"p-peter? y-yeah uhm." he clears his throat, you look down on his fingers and unexpectedly saw a ring in one of them

"you're married?" both you and mj said in unison, he look down on his hands as well before nodding

"yeah, betty and i you know. we made it work, aftee graduating i decided to take our relationship in another level." his eyes sparkles with joy as he tells you the news "she's. she's actually pregnant, two months."

"congratulations." you and mj both said

"and peter, uhm. he now lives in, he no longer lives with aunt may and he also. . . he's not an avenger anymore." you saw how ned had a hard time on telling you what he knows, the ned you knew not long ago is gone, ned usually knows how to compose himself immideately and maybe that's one of the reasons why him and peter fits each other perfectly, your boyfriend is an akward person, a weird one and he always stumble upon his words, while ned is more composed and often helped him.

"wait, what?" michelle gasp

while you stayed still, confusion erupts in your mind. how did it happened? why did peter left the avengers? he always love helping people, finding comfort in swinging around queens and fighting for those who cannot fight, and being an avenger? it's his dream, so why would he turn his back on a life he always wanted to have?

at this moment, you felt like you never knew peter anymore, or ned, he changes so much and you wish peter is still the same after five years even though you know it's impossible, many things can happen in those years, many things can change.

"yeah, after. you know, he got anxiety after the blip, he really had a hard time with keeping up so, uhm. yeah."

"wait, i don't understand a single thing." mj speak once again, trying to make the situation clear

you saw how ned gulped, as if he's about to spill the biggest tea there is "he just, shit happens. you know? and people change, how they see life, their perspective and peter. well, peter. he, he change. he's grown up now."

"like, how grown up?" did he move on?

"i can't tell you that, i'm sorry but he lives in." then he started tellng you the adress which you gladly wrote down on your phone with shaking fingers, imagining how peter would seeing you after five years, would he be happy, sad? or maybe he moved on?

god you don't want to think about it, peter moving on from his relationship with you? can that really happen? can peter really do that to you? no, no. peter won't do that, maybe ned is right. he changed but he's still peter, you refuse to believe that peter forgot about you, that he replaced you after being a part of the blip, because if tables have turned? if peter is the one who has been snapped and you're the one who survived? you don't think you can forget him or move on.

the trio was about to continue keeping up, but ned's phone started to ring and you saw a picture of a woman on the screen "sorry, wife calling." he turn his back on you quickly answering the phone while you and mj just nodded your head, giving him a chance to answer the line

"i always knew peter is a freak." she whispered beside you, trying to make the mood better as she started to see the doubt in your eyes "but a grown man? come on, just because he grow up and finally became a man doesn't mean he has to forget stuffs, you know?"

you slightly smile at her, nodding your head in agreement "you're right."

"anyways, i got to call my dad. you call your family too, they must be worried and confused. all this shit is probably all overt the news by now."

***

two days passed after you came back from the blip, everything you thought you knew? gone. it's like you never existed in the first place and you had a hard time keeping up, keeping up with the world you once knew. your parents on the other hand, they are more understanding than ever, letting you stay lock up in your room so you can think but occasionally asking you if you want to go on a family vacation but you told them you have to fix yourself first. your parents reaction when you came back is priceless especially your mom, she almost didn't want to let you go after embracing you if it weren't for your dad and you saw the longing in their eyes.

of course, their only daughter went missing five years ago then came back as if nothing happened.

you tried to read as many newspaper as you could, news from the last five years, trying to blend in once again. you felt sick thinking about the new society you are now stepping on. but even after those things, you have mj with you and you two became close, facetime here, facetime there. helping each other stood back up from their feet.

two days later, that's when you decided to visit peter, two days of dreaming about the guy, imagining what his reaction would be if you showed up in his door step, and a part of you wished you didn't came back after what you saw, after what you learned.

the house that ned told you was huge, it's white and there's a mailbox standing outside with a name 'parker' in it, it's more like a family house, a car on the garage and a small bike right beside it, a small bike? why does peter have a small bike on his house?

and if you weren't that stupid, you're going to be able to put the pieces together, the bike, the house, the mailbox, ned seeming like he's nervous about something. it all made sense especially when you knock on the door and it was opened by the one and only liz allen. the small bump on her stomach also didn't go unnoticable by you, and the small boy running around from the inside looking like you're boyfriend? yeah, fuck. you get it. he moved on, what else can you do?

nonetheless, she invited you in and you could have said no, but you didn't. there's a lot of question you want to ask peter, why? and how? but you're not going to blame him because of the decision he made. you fully understand it, that maybe his feelings for liz didn't really fade away just like he told you when you two started dating, or maybe he forgot about you. five years is a long road

and that's how you saw yourself inside the kitchen with peter sitting in front of you, the house smelled like home, like love, like family. his family, her family. liz was upstairs trying to give the both of you a time to talk while their son went out to play with some kids outside.

"you're married?" you asked, although it's obvious. you still want it to come out from his mouth. your voice came out like a whisper but you know he heard it, he only nodded his head in response, not knowing what else to say.

"you left me for her." you said once again

and that's when he spoke back "i didn't left you, you left me." his voice is deeper than before, more manly and he didn't stumble upon his words just like before, he looks like be know exactly what he's doing, what he's saying.

he's not the peter you once knew anymore, just like everybody else.

"are you blaming me for what happened?" you whispered shouted, not wanting liz to hear your conversation even though you know that peter will tell her later once you got out

"i'm not blaming anything on you, i'm just trying to explain that i'm not the one who fades away to dust, who left me with nothing for five years. what do you expect me to do?"

"i expect you to wait for me, i came back didn't i?" you saw how your vision started to get blurry, telling you that any time soon a tears will fell from your eyes.

"i waited for you but i lose hope."

"how could you do this to me?" and that's when a single tear drop from your eyes, then another. but you didn't do anything to stop it

"how could i? can you put yourself in my position for once? i was left with nothing for the past five years! i have nothing, tony was a part of the snap, may and i fell apart because all this shit! and liz? she's just, she's there with me. she stood by my side during those times and neither of us can't help it." and if your heart broke after finding out that peter moved on, now it's being shredded to pieces especially after what he just told you

"you find comfort in another woman."

"don't pretend like you will do this differently if i were the one who got snapped." you drop your palms on the table causing it to make a loud thump

"don't you there turn the tables, because if i were the one who survived and you're the one who does not. i will still wait for you no matter how fucked up everything is." you said angrily "did you ever loved me? or did you just used me to get over her? to make her jealous?"

"don't fucking change the subject." that's the first time he ever cursed in front of you, in those eight months of you two dating, no matter the situation, he never cursed or yell at you. yeah you fight often times but it didn't come this far, no yelling, no cursing, just a calm fight.

you wanted to be selfish, to steal peter away from liz just like how she teal him away from you. but you couldn't, you can't even think about it. you don't want to be the person, the woman who stole their dad away from them, you don't want their child to grew up without a dad, to grew up longing for a father.

"look, i know it's hard but believe me or not. i loved you." he said softly this time "but i have a family now, a family to take care of, a children to look after and none of this can bring back the past, none of this can bring both of us together just like before. you have to understand the situation that none of this is inevitable, maybe we're not meant for each other, maybe this is meant to happened, what matters right now is you're back and i have the family i always wanted, maybe not with you. but i'm happy now."

he held your hands from the table, soothing it gently to calm you down "i loved you, and i still do until now but not as much as i love her."

"you don't know how many men will kill just to be with you, you deserve beter and i wish you all the happiness in this world." he added, you look down on his hands, biting your shaking lips as you refuse to believe everything he told you

everything is just too much, it happened so fast. that your brain could not even keep up, but you have to accept the truth, the truth that the both of you are no longer the couple you were used to be. that he moved on and you must do the same

***

you lay down, facing the ceiling before sighing. even after two weeks, fourteen days, even after all those minutes passed you can't seem to get used to the world you were in right now. you're starting to drift away from your parents, not liking to go out and instead you prefer to self isolate yourself inside your room. but no one can blame you for your actions, it's hard. keeping up with everything, it's hard facing complicated things like this especially because peter is not by your side unlike before.

and for once, you just wanted to. . . you just want everything to stop for a while. everything, just. just to give you time to understand

if only it weren't for the snap, or what everyone prefer to call that 'thing'. if it weren't for that, then maybe you already graduated by now, maybe you're the one who's married with peter instead of liz. maybe

"i thought that if i acted like it didn't matter. it wouldn't." you said, eyes still focused on the ceiling as you tried to think about everything that had happened in the past ever since you came back from the ash

mj, who's quietly reading a book on the sofa inside your room decided to join you in your comfy bed, laying beside you and facing the white and boring ceiling as well. unlike you, mj asked for help. she started seeing a therapist to help her get better and to guide her in this journey where she's trying to fit in once again.

but you? you prefer to be alone no matter how many times your parents tried to talk to you or asked you if you need help, even if they kept their arms open for you, even if every person who survived the snap kept their arms wide open for those who didn't. you can't bring yourself to do it, to ask for help like mj. unlike you, mj handled all the problems like a champion, you never see any discomfort in her eyes ever since you came back. yeah maybe the first day, you saw how scared she was but now? she's getting better while you felt like you're getting worse.

you drift away from your parents, never answered or check your phone, you completely shut down peter and liz no matter how many times they tried to invite you like when their son celebrated his birth day. but you see yourself getting closer to mj

which is. weird

you never see it coming,

you never see any of this coming.

"it's okay not to be okay, you know?" she mumbled from beside you. closing her book and fixing her eyeglasses

"shit happens, we get sad, stress, depress, you name it. and that's okay, that's normal. everybody felt that too." she added

from the ceiling, you turn your body to face her before asking her a question "how did you do it?" she seemed taken a back but manages to compose herself right away

putting her other hands behind her head, she licked her lips before answering your question "how did i do it? i didn't do no such thing." it was a whisper, but because of the silence evaporating inside your room you manage to hear every letter that came out of her mouth

"i was scared, afraid after all this shit you know? and it made me think that feeling those things, that self isolating myself or being sad or what the fuck will not make anything better." she told you "like, if i cry in my room because i felt left out, will that make anything better? no right? if i stay in my room and get so emotional, will that bring back the past? will the pain bring back everything? no, that's why instead of being like the others, instead of following what i feel, instead of letting my fear take over. i just told them to fuck off, i go out, tried understanding the world more, have fun, be with my loved ones, forget the fact that i became an ash. because no matter how sad you feel, or how depress you've become. the world will not stop spinning for you, and because of that. might as well as spin with the world, you know what i'm saying?"

from her laying position, mj sat up completely facing you and holding your hand in hers "i know you're having a hard time, we all are. but don't forget that you're not alone in this. you don't have to be, you don't have to face all this shit alone because i'm here for you, your parents, your friends, peter. maybe not in the way you want him to be, but all of us will be here for you." she said sincerely

"i know it's tough, and it's probably much more harder in your case because of peter. but things aren't always going to be there, you know? nothing is permanent. i can't be sitting here with you forever because i have to go home or else my dad will probably burst out." you laughed at her humor "but i'm serious, sometimes everything is not meant to be that way. and i think that's what makes life special, nothing is permanent, because of that life teaches us how to cherish every moment."

"avengers fought with their dying breath just to give us a second chance, and i'm glad they did. we were all given a second chance to live in this world and i don't want to waste that."

that's when you realized how lucky you are, she's right. you were given a second chance, a second chance to live, to be happy. avengers bled for this, for all of you to return. you should live your life to the fullest, and that's what you're about to do

peter is one of the best things that ever happened to you, maybe he's not with you until the end but at least you manage to be with him and to feel the love from spiderman in the past.

maybe in some other life, in a distant universe, in an unknown world, in a small city, you and peter have your little love story going on, and you both are living there your happily ever after.

disclaimer: all publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. the original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. the author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

#peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker imagine #peter parker smut #peter parker #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland #marvel

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spine-buster · 4 years

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The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 20

A/N: Remember to like, reblog, yell in the tags, and support your friendly neighbourhood fic writers. We appreciate it more than you think! And thanks for all the positive feedback on my double post last week! This chapter focuses more on Aberdeen and Siena’s sisterhood. Hope you enjoy!

February 15th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was in a taxi.

With the Canadian Tire Centre being in Kanata, Aberdeen needed a taxi to get into downtown Ottawa, and judging by what Siena told her about the bus, she wasn’t going to trust it to take her there. They were meeting at Chez Lucien, a gastro bar in the ByWard Market that Siena apparently frequented a lot with her law school friends. Aberdeen had come to visit Siena in Ottawa a few times since she began law school, and every time Siena took her to a different place. It was nice, because she got to see more of what Ottawa had to offer, and what Siena’s life was like here as opposed to in Toronto, but a part of Aberdeen wished they had a ‘spot’.

Siena had been waiting, as she was able to walk to Chez Lucien from where she lived near campus. Aberdeen was kicking the snow off her boots and unwrapping all her layers at the door as she watched Siena scroll through her phone in a booth in the middle of the room. The restaurant was pretty busy with the lunch time crowd, and the food already smelled delicious. “How do you deal with all this snow?” she asked as she approached the table.

Siena shrugged. “You get used to it, I guess. Did you get here okay?”

Aberdeen nodded as she slipped into the booth. “It’s quite the trek, though. Make sure you leave early tonight.”

“I don’t think it would matter if I missed the first five minutes,” Siena said.

Aberdeen noticed a certain tone in Siena’s voice that made her realize this wasn’t going to be a nice, relaxing lunch with her older sister. For how close they were and for how much Aberdeen loved Siena with every fibre of her being, Siena…could be a bitch sometimes. It was usually drama with friends that did it, or bad grades – Siena hated getting bad grades. She couldn’t compartmentalize her anger like Aberdeen could. Siena couldn’t leave her anger at school and be happy while out with someone else. She brought that anger with her and, while she hid it better in front of friends, she didn’t hide it in front of Aberdeen, meaning Aberdeen usually got the brunt end of it. “Probably not, but MLSE comped the ticket, so it would be nice if you showed up on time.”

“The burgers are really good here,” Siena said, dropping it.

Aberdeen opened the menu and looking at the list of burgers. “So what is it? A bad mark? Professor piss you off?” she asked without looking up from the menu.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Now what do you want?”

The conversation flowed uncomfortably. There were a few awkward pauses, which was unusual for the sisters, and though the food was good, Aberdeen could tell Siena wasn’t really all there. There was something else occupying her mind that wasn’t allowing her to be fully present with Aberdeen. Aberdeen wasn’t necessarily pissed off, because she certainly went through her moods too, but Siena wasn’t even trying to make an effort. Aberdeen decided not to say anything. It was for the best.

“So you look different,” Siena said, picking at the last of her fries and ketchup.

“I do?” Aberdeen asked. “How so?”

“I don’t know,” Siena shrugged. “Your hair’s a bit different.”

“Well, I attempted a blowout, but you know how that goes with me.”

“Does William like it when your hair is straight as opposed to your frizzy curls?” Siena asked, popping a fry into her mouth.

Aberdeen furrowed her brows. “Who cares what William likes?” Aberdeen asked. “I sure as hell don’t.”

“You don’t?”

“Siena, come on. When have I ever changed myself for a guy?” Aberdeen asked. She didn’t have a history of it at all, so she didn’t know why Siena would imply such a thing. “I know that William and I are in this weird little…I don’t know, dance, but that doesn’t mean I’m changing myself so he’ll like me more or whatever.” Aberdeen knew she didn’t have to. She knew that William liked her – loved her – just as she was. He’d never asked her to change anything about herself, and actually got mad when Saylor made that off-handed comment about her nose.

“Are you sneaking around with him?” Siena asked suddenly.

Aberdeen was taken aback by the question. She furrowed her brows and dropped her jaw, offended. “What?! NO!” she exclaimed. She scared herself for how easily and emphatically she had just lied to her sister.

“Are you lying to me?” Siena asked.

“Why would you even think that?” Aberdeen pressed. “What the hell, Siena? Do you honestly think I would jeopardize my job like that? The job I work so hard in? The job that might lead me to do what I actually want to do? You honestly think I’d burn this bridge?”

“I don’t know. You’ve done stupid shit in the past, Aberdeen.”

Aberdeen felt tears well in her eyes. She always knew Siena could be a bitch when she wanted to, but right now, she was being just downright mean. It was hard not to take it personally. “Wow. Thanks Siena.”

“I’m just stating the obvious.”

“I love the faith you have in me.”

“It’s not that I don’t have faith in you,” Siena said. “I just saw the way you looked at him on Christmas when he showed up. And more importantly, I saw the way he looked at you. And I know – or I at least have a feeling – that you wouldn’t be able to resist him if he actually came on to you.”

“That’s a bit rich coming from the girl who told us to sneak up to our room alone after watching an episode Brooklyn 9-9.”

“Don’t deflect this and put this on me, Aberdeen,” Siena narrowed her eyes. “You’re the vulnerable one in this situation when it comes to him. I mean you’ve already slept together. You slept together after knowing each other for what? A few hours? I mean, if you’d had the decency to wait, you wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.”

Aberdeen’s eyes stung from trying to hold back her tears. She couldn’t even look at her sister. Instead, she focused on her hands in her lap, twiddling nervously with the ring William got her. “Are you done?” she asked, her voice cracking slightly. “I mean it, are you done?”

“Aberdeen—”

“Is this why you asked me to lunch? So you could make me feel like complete shit?” Aberdeen asked indignantly.

“You’re choosing to feel that way. I’m not making you.”

Aberdeen pushed her chair back dramatically. She refused to participate in this conversation anymore. Actually, it wasn’t even a conversation – it was a sabotage. She snatched her purse off the back of her chair and grabbed her coat and scarf before walking away from the table, not even caring that she was walking out on her sister and sticking her with both bills. By the time she had reached the door, throwing her jacket over her shoulders and wrapping her scarf around her neck, there were already tears falling.

She walked up the street, not even knowing where she was going and where she was going to end up, and she didn’t bother taking her phone out to check. Instead, she cried. She cried about the things her sister said to her. She cried about how she lied to her sister. But more than anything, she cried about how awful she felt, how it felt like her heart was in the pit of her stomach, how her mind was racing about what she was doing with William and how wrong it was but how happy she was when she was with him. She was so conflicted. She was being pulled in opposite directions; quartered in the town square for everyone to see for the sins she was committing.

Aberdeen knew she fucked up. She knew. She knew the moment William stepped into that elevator and shook her hand. She didn’t need anybody to tell her that, or to remind her of the mistakes she’d made. But she didn’t have regrets. Maybe she should, but she didn’t. She loved William. She wasn’t supposed to, but she did. She knew they would be able to keep this a secret; she had faith that it wouldn’t affect her future career prospects. She had to have faith, because if she didn’t, it was all for naught. If she didn’t have faith, then she really was stupid.

People stared at her as she walked down the street crying, her hands stuffed into her jacket pockets. She barely wiped her tears away, wearing them with pride instead. They’d freeze to her face eventually, she thought, and then she’d look like an ice queen. Maybe that would be good for her.

Aberdeen continued to weave through the streets – turning right, left right, left, left, right – until she happened upon Notre Dame Cathedral Basilica, the famous Catholic Church in Ottawa. She’d been there before, with her family, when they visited Siena for the first time and Orla dragged everybody there for a Sunday mass. The cathedral was visually stunning, with its neo-Gothic architecture, classic arches, blue ceiling, and stained-glass windows. Weirdly, Aberdeen loved ecclesiastical architecture. It was probably Orla’s influence. Aberdeen always pictured herself getting married in an old church like this, should she ever get married. Whenever she was in a Catholic church, she was reminded of her childhood. Of Orla dragging her and Siena (and when he was born, Camden) to Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church on Bloor Street West every Sunday. Of her mom kneeling and praying for her family back in Northern Ireland. Of attending catechism classes with her classmates so she could receive the Eucharist and have her confirmation. Of her dad sitting with them and being in church too for all those major milestones even though he had his own faith. In its own weird way, it reminded her of home, of routine. The routine of dipping a finger in holy water and bowing, of finding a pew and kneeling for a quick personal prayer. For standing and singing and kneeling and praying. Kneeling and praying. Kneeling and praying.

So it was no wonder, then, that when she entered the cathedral, despite the tourists that lingered throughout the aisles and alcoves taking pictures and lighting candles, it was so easy for her to find the holy water and bow. It was easy for her to find a pew. It was easy for her to sit, and to look forward at the altar.

It was easy for her to cry.

***

Aberdeen cried out everything she had in her in Notre Dame. It was massively therapeutic. And when she was done, she took a taxi back to the arena.

She’d cried so much that her eyes were still red, that her skin was blotchy even where she was wearing makeup and was very blotchy in the places where the tears had washed her makeup away. She knew she’d probably get asked about it, but she didn’t really care. She wondered if the men she worked with would even notice.

As she walked through the back corridors and into a room, the first person that she saw was Peter. Her body stiffened. She had barely seen him since the All-Star Game – only saw him in passing or from across the arena, really – and she was too scared to ask whether he had switched departments, gotten demoted, or the like. She hadn’t spoken to him since, and her heart beat rapidly in her chest the second his eyes landed on her. He probably still wanted to kill her.

That’s why she was thoroughly shocked when he gave her a large smile.

“How’ve you been?” he asked as he walked towards her.

“How have I been? Where have you been?” she asked back, trying not to freak out. The last time she’d seen him, he’d been so angry. Now he was acting as if nothing was wrong. She thought he’d hate to see her and spit over his shoulder the second he saw her.

“We’re going to need to celebrate,” he said, his voice giddy. “I feel like getting champagne,” he continued, looking around for something to drink. He saw a bunch of Gatorade bottles and handed one to her before taking one for himself.

“Uh…okay,” she played along. The Gatorade would have to do. “What are we toasting?”

“We are toasting, my dear, to the dream job. The one that a million people wanted,” he smiled.

Aberdeen was confused. “Which I got months ago…”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “I’m not talking about you.”

That piqued her interest. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Mhm…go on…”

“Brendan and Kyle invested a lot of time and effort into me. I came on board basically when Kyle did. At the beginning I was doing everything – social media, communications, PR, the works,” he began. “But then there was that opening in hockey operations…and they needed someone they could trust…” he trailed off.

Aberdeen knew about the open job in hockey ops. They’d received numerous applications. The opening was a huge deal and people were clamouring at the opportunity because jobs there didn’t come up often. “Uh huh…”

“And that someone would be me.”

Aberdeen’s jaw dropped. “You got the hockey ops job?!” she screamed.

“YES!” he screamed out loud. His giddy laughter and excited little jumps and jitters told Aberdeen he was more than just happy – he was ecstatic. It was probably a position he wanted more than anything. “Aberdeen, they even put me up for it! I mean can you imagine!”

Aberdeen’s eyes bulged out. That was some interesting bit of news. It meant that Brendan and Kyle knew they were going to promote Peter. But that didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was how ecstatic Peter was and his new position with the Leafs. “But…but you’re leaving. I can’t imagine taking on Brendan and Kyle without you.”

“I know, I know, but I’m so excited though. This is the first time in almost three years I’m going to be able to call the shots in my job! Oh my God!” he shrieked. “I’m going to be able to come to Ottawa, Montreal, New York, Philly, Chicago…and actually be involved in the hockey process.”

He was happy. So incredibly happy. And Aberdeen could only be happy for him. She unscrewed and raised her Gatorade bottle. “Well, congratulations Peter. You deserve it.”

“You bet your ass I do,” he giggled, unscrewing his own Gatorade bottle and crashing it against hers. Aberdeen laughed as they both took their gulps of the drink. “I’m sorry I got mad at you before the All-Star Game,” he said once he was finished drinking. “I was really out of line.”

“It’s alright,” she said. “I knew it meant the world to you.”

“Yeah, but I was really mean,” he said. “I said you didn’t deserve it, but we both know that you did. You’ve been working hard since you got here and I was just…you know, being a dick about it.”

“I’ve had worse things said to me,” she shrugged. An understatement considering where she had just come from. “But thank you for your apology.”

He held his Gatorade bottle up again. “To the Toronto Maple Leafs,” he toasted.

Aberdeen smiled, raising her own bottle. “To the Toronto Maple Leafs.”

***

“So, how was lunch with Siena?” Brendan asked as he went over some last-minute notes before he and Aberdeen would make their way to the press box and meet Kyle for the game. Knowing that Siena was coming to the game tonight to support her sister was nice. Aberdeen made it adamantly clear her sister wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of hockey, but was coming to the game to support her more than anything. That was fine with Brendan.

Aberdeen shrugged her shoulders. She’d hoped Brendan wouldn’t ask about it because she still wasn’t over it. “I ended up going to church.”

He looked at her skeptically. “Church?”

“I got into a fight with my sister,” she explained curtly.

“About what?”

Aberdeen shook her head. Like she was going to tell him. “Not important.”

“Well…what made you go to church?” he pressed. He seemed genuinely concerned about the fact that she’d gone to a house of worship after fighting with her sister. Had it been that bad?

Aberdeen knew he was curious because he was worried, not curious because he wanted to pry. Because of that, she knew she had to choose her words carefully as to not reveal too much but also not reveal too little so that he’d ask more questions. She couldn’t find them. She didn’t know what to say to him without it leading to her giving it all away and getting fired on the spot. “I just needed some semblance of…normalcy back in my life after the fight,” she said, knowing Brendan wouldn’t understand.

“Aberdeen, I have absolutely no clue what that means,” he deadpanned jokingly, causing her to giggle slightly. “But if church helped…well, good,” he said, focusing back on his notes.

Aberdeen nodded. She wanted the topic of conversation to be dropped, and she knew the best way to do that. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

She knew it was going to come out as a statement more than a question. “You and Kyle…you guys knew you were promoting Peter to the hockey ops position.”

“Yes…” He was still looking down at his notes, and he wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

“So why’d you make me tell him about the All-Star Game?”

Brendan stopped focusing on his notes, instead looking at Aberdeen. He knew that she wasn’t accusing him of anything, and not complaining that she had to do what she did; she just wanted answers. Apparently she’d seen Peter. Apparently they’d talked. “So Peter told you we put him up for the hockey ops job, then,” he started.

“He did.”

Brendan nodded his head. “We needed to toughen you up, Aberdeen.”

It was Aberdeen’s turn to look at Brendan skeptically. “Toughen me up?”

“Listen—don’t get me wrong, because you’ve been doing a great job,” Brendan began. “But you…you need to do things that make you uncomfortable, Aberdeen. You know…uh…” he was trying to find the right words. “You know how a glowstick needs to be cracked in order to shine?”

“That’s literally the weirdest analogy I’ve ever heard anyone make,” she said.

“You needed to crack a bit,” he said firmly. “You needed to break someone’s heart. This is a tough business and this is a tough world and it’ll happen to you too. And I want you to be prepared to have to do those sorts of things. Because you’ll be successful once you leave here and you’ll have to do them. You’ll thank me later.”

Judging by his tone, Aberdeen knew Brendan wasn’t going to entertain any other options. She couldn’t say anything to make him think otherwise. “Okay…well, then I think you’ll be happy to know that I broke his heart when I told him he wasn’t going to the All-Star Game. And you and Kyle put it back together by promoting him.”

“I know that,” he said. He looked down at his notes one more time before pushing his chair back. “Now let’s go.”

***

Are they playing well? I wouldn’t know.

Aberdeen stared at the text message from Siena as she sat in the back of the press box, Brendan and Kyle watching the game intently and in full view of the cameras. She was surprised Siena still came after the afternoon they’d had. There was less than five minutes left in the first period, and Auston had already scored. She didn’t know if she should respond. She wondered if that made her a bad sister.

When the buzzer rang for the end of the period, Brendan swiveled in his chair and looked back at her. “Is Siena here?” he asked. Aberdeen nodded her head. “Go find her.”

“But you asked me to—”

“Go find her and go talk to her,” he interrupted, giving her a look. “Go.”

Aberdeen got up from her seat, her credentials jingling down the hallway as she texted Siena back.

Where are you sitting?

They put me six rows behind the Leafs bench. Section 106. Can you come meet me right outside the tunnel?

By the time Aberdeen got there (she speed walked so they had more time together, so what?), Siena was already waiting. When Siena saw her, she stuffed her phone into her pocket. “Were you up in the box?” she asked.

“I always am.”

Siena nodded, staying quiet for a moment. “Listen…I…I’m sorry about today,” she said, stumbling over her words a bit. “I was…my comments were really uncalled for, and I shouldn’t have like, you know, accused you of sleeping with William behind your boss’s back.”

Aberdeen nodded her head once, curtly, to make Siena abundantly clear that she hadn’t forgiven her just yet. Could she forgive her, really, when she was keeping the biggest secret from her? “Do you want to tell me what the little outburst was really about?” she asked.

Siena pursed her lips and crossed her arms across her chest. She looked down at the floor. “It’s nothing.”

“Siena.”

She sighed heavily. “It’s a guy,” she mumbled out.

“What?”

“A guy,” she said dramatically.

Aberdeen’s jaw dropped. “A guy?!” she barely had the words. “What guy? What…what guy?!”

Siena looked like she was about to throw a mini temper tantrum for having to reveal the information. “There was this guy, Aaron…he was just in one of my classes, and we had this…this thing going on for the past few months. Anyways, uh, I found out he was also hooking up with Sylvie the entire time and they’re all Instagram official already.”

“Sylvie?!” Aberdeen deadpanned. “Like…Gatineau Sylvie? Blonde Sylvie? Sylvie who we partied with Sylvie?”

“Yes, that Sylvie,” Siena rolled her eyes. “Knockout Sylvie. Drop dead gorgeous Sylvie. Only in law school so her parents don’t cut her off financially Sylvie.”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows in anger. Sylvie had been so nice when Aberdeen had come to visit last year, and had bought her drinks at the club…and now to hear she’d done this to Siena? And had been doing it for months? Aberdeen was livid. “Well fuck that bitch,” she barked. “And fuck Aaron, too.”

“Now I know how you felt when Zane did that to you,” Siena bit her lip. “But you guys were together for like, a year. Aaron and I were just hooking up.”

“Still,” Aberdeen was still upset. “Fuck that guy. Fuck them both. Fuck them all. He doesn’t deserve you if he’s gonna be sneaking around on you, hooking up with Sylvie and whoever else. You dodged a bullet. You’re too pretty and too smart to be bogged down by such a fuckboy.”

Siena was quiet. Aberdeen tried to figure out whether she was going to cry or roll her eyes, but she couldn’t. With Siena looking at the floor, it was almost impossible. When she finally looked back up, her expression was much more neutral. Gentler. “I wish I had your sense of loyalty, Aberdeen,” Siena said softly. “Really. I do. It’s one of your best qualities. You…you have my back no matter what.”

“Of course I do,” Aberdeen said. “You’re my sister.”

Siena nodded her head. “I know it might not seem like it, especially after the lunch we had, but I always have your back, too,” she said. “I hope you know that. I’d do anything for you.”

Aberdeen was silent as she considered her sister’s words. They fought like any sisters did, but deep know, she knew. Aberdeen knew her sister would do anything for her, and she would do the same. “I know.”

“Can you forgive me for lunch?”

Aberdeen nodded reluctantly. There was nothing to forgive when her sister was right about her assumptions. “I forgive you,” she said. She watched as a bunch of fans made their way through the tunnel and into the arena back to their seats. “Listen, I have to get back. But I’ll meet you after the game, okay? Go to those doors over there,” she pointed behind her to the same doors she came through to meet her.

“Okay. I’ll see you,” Siena nodded, watching as Aberdeen disappeared through the door.

***

William scored in the second period, making Aberdeen convinced he was just trying to show off since he knew Siena was watching. Hell, he could probably see her from the bench. With the Leafs winning 4-2, Aberdeen was happy. But there was barely any time to celebrate. Everybody had to get ready to leave as soon as possible so they could get on the plane and fly to Buffalo.

It was why Aberdeen was dragging Siena through the back corridors eagerly. “Where are you bringing me?” Siena asked.

“You need some eye candy to take your mind off Aaron,” Aberdeen said.

“So you’re bringing me to meet an old man?”

Aberdeen snorted. Brendan was three years younger than their dad. “Not quite.”

As they turned a corner, they came head to head with some of the guys, walking in and out of the locker room, their shirts half buttoned, their ties undone, some of them still in their hockey pants, topless. Siena stopped dead in her tracks. “Aberdeen—”

“—Feast your eyes—"

“—Aberdeen, I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t…oh…oh my,” Siena gasped like an old Southern woman as her eyes landed on a topless Pierre Engvall across the room. “Oh my God you could have told me!” she pinched Aberdeen. “I could have dressed nicer!”

“Hello.” Siena jumped dramatically, turning around to see William behind her. She calmed down when she recognized him. “How are things?” he asked, his voice low so no-one else would hear.

“Fine, thanks,” Siena’s voice was equally as low.

He stood up straight more and extended his hand. “I’m William, it’s nice to meet you. Siena, you said?”

Siena was taken aback for a second before she realized what William was doing. She wasn’t supposed to know who he was. She wasn’t supposed to be familiar with him. “Hi. Y—Yes,” she stuttered out, shaking his hand. “I’m Siena, Aberdeen’s older sister.”

“Hey! Who’s the stranger?” Auston called out from inside the locker room, looking at them standing in the doorway.

“This is my sister, Matthews,” Aberdeen answered, saying it loud enough so the whole locker room would hear.

Most of the guys approached to shake her hand. Jason came up first, then Rasmus, then John and Freddie. Aberdeen didn’t think Siena would get starstruck by hockey players, but she apparently was, stuttering out hellos and pleasant conversations with the men. Aberdeen couldn’t help but giggle. “Jesus, Aberdeen,” Siena whispered eventually when nobody approached them and they were alone. “Are they around like this all the time?”

Aberdeen smiled. “You don’t know the half of it.”

It was at that point that Auston approached them, giving Siena a quick but flirty up-down that Siena didn’t catch but Aberdeen did. “This is your sister?” he asked, extending his hand and getting Siena’s attention.

“Yes, she’s my sister.”

“You guys don’t look like sisters,” he commented.

“I got much more of our dad’s Persian features,” Siena said, shaking his hand. Aberdeen had rolled her eyes – as if she hadn’t heard that comment before about them not looking like sisters. “I’m Siena.”

“Siena. I’m Auston,” he smiled.

Aberdeen rolled her eyes playfully. “Go flirt with Willy, Auston. You didn’t get with Kasha and you’re definitely not getting with my sister.”

Auston furrowed his brows at her playfully. “Get a life, Aberdeen,” he said before sticking his tongue out. “I hope you liked the game,” he said to Siena before walking away.

Siena was about to whisper something to Aberdeen, but then noticed the man from before making his way towards them. Her breath hitched in her throat and her entire body seized up. Aberdeen almost burst out laughing then and there. “Hello. I’m Pierre,” Pierre Engvall extended his hand for Siena to shake. “You’re Aberdeen’s sister?”

Aberdeen had to nudge her sister to get her to respond. She jerked her hand out to shake Pierre’s. “Hi! Yes yes, I’m Aberdeen’s sister, Siena. It’s nice you meet you Pierre.”

“Did you enjoy the game?” he asked.

“Yes. Yes. You guys played so well. I mean I don’t watch hockey much but—”

“Have you been to a game in Toronto?” he asked.

“No—I mean, not yet.”

“Well you should come. I’m sure Aberdeen could get you a ticket,” he smiled.

Before the flirt fest could go on any longer, Rasmus screamed something in Swedish at him, and Pierre laughed. “It was nice to you meet you Siena,” he said before walking away, punching Rasmus on the arm.

Siena looked at Aberdeen. Her eyes practically rolled to the back of her head. “Good God almighty, that man just made me sweat like a whore in church.”

Aberdeen snorted. “Don’t tell that to mom.”

194 notes · View notes

drethanramslay · 4 years

Text

High

Pairing: M! Sam Dalton x MC( Malaika Agarwal)

Word count: 4.7 K words

Masterlist

WARNING: DIRTY TALK, SMUT AND NS*W!! IF YOU CLICK ON THE READ MORE TAG,THEN YOU ARE CONSENTING THAT YOU ARE 18+ AND ARE CAN VIEW SUCH WORKS

Permanent Tag list: @trappedinfandoms @oofchoices @agent-breakdance @dailydoseofchoices @colossalpainintheass @siaramsey @theeccentricbibliophile @ac27dj @ramseysno1rookie @justanotherrookie @openheart12 @jamespotterthefirst @checkurwindow @chasingrobbie @junggoku

Sam x MC Taglist: @lulaortega @hatescapsicum @theodorepjames4 @noboundariesplease @datynasuha @sanchita012 @choices-addict @the-trash-bandito @peregrinaflor @drakewalkerfantasy @itsmechoicesfanaf @crazynutella @rookiemarsswiftie @magicalshepherdtreeprofessor @ethandaddyramsey @mvalentine @the-pale-goddess @pixelberryownsme @lucy-268 @ohramsey @fleur-de-jasmin-fdj @edgiestwinter

Songs: I see red by Everybody Loves an Outlaw and High by Dua Lipa and Whethan

forgive me if there are any mistakes

Coming to the engagement party was a bad idea.

Malaika knew from the very beginning that working for one of the hottest and most elligible CEO would have been a disaster. She knew that kissing him against the kitchen counter of his own home would have been catastrophic. His deft fingers running and teasing against the heat of her pussy in the backseat of the limo was problematic.

Don't even get her started on the blunder that happened on the dancefloor. She still remembered the way they were close to each other in borderline obscene ways.

But lately, these series of bad decisions have been one of the happiest moments of her life.

Yes you can call me boo boo the fool. Malaika thought to herself as she emptied the contents of another glass of champagne, to drown her misery and boredom.

The soft waltz music died down and she heard the feedback from the mic. She looked up and saw barbie doll standing there with her perfect nails and her perfect life.

"Thanks for coming to our fabulous party. This night is a dream come true for us. Sam is a dream come true for me." She raised her flute towards Sam's direction and fluttered her eyelashes.

Malaika scoffed. Is she for real? Did her fake eyelash poke her eyeballs that she if fluttering them like that?

Malaika was never one to be a bitch, hell she wouldn't even hurt a fly unintentionally, but the sexual frustration, her own feelings and the smooth champagne is not a good combination.

"This is so boring." Robin piqued as he took a sip of his whiskey.

"Ugh... Hard same. Is she always like this?"

"Yep. This is very serious business for Sofia. I heard that she even hired a ghost writer for the toast."

"Wow. That's pathetic. I mean how hard is it to write a toast for the person you 'love'?" Malaika asked, making air quotes with her free hand on the word love.

Especially when that person is Sam Dalton.

"It's only easy if you remotely like the person."

Sophia continued her monologue. " Same and I have been dating for only..." She proceeded to check her notes.

"Are you kidding me? Who the hell forgets when you start dating?"

"I know right? She even has her 'I love you' written down too. Imagine what we could've tricked her into saying if we'd swapped out her cards." Robin said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Malaika giggled. "I can definitely see that happening."

As Sofia continued to drone on about how much she loved him and yada yada, Robin provided her with whispered commentary which had her laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face.

Thank god for waterproof mascara.

They continued bullshiting each other when from the corner of her eye, she saw Sam step up near Sofia and kiss her cheek before proceeding to give his speech.

"Thank you Sofia and thank you to all of you for coming here to join us in celebrating our love."

Robin turned around to see him and scoffed, not even lowering his voice. "More like an arrangement."

Malaika's eyes widened. "Shhh Robin. I am not getting into trouble because of you."

"But you wouldn't mind getting in trouble for other reasons?" He asked cheekily.

A smirk danced on her lips. "Maybe..?"

Sam continued his speech, tears glinting in his eyes. "As you all know, I lost my first wife about five years ago... and for a long time, didn't think I would ever meet someone else who made me feel the way she did."

His eyes locked with hers and Malaika's breath hitched in her throat.

"But now I feel like I have a second chance at happiness again. I finally met someone who gets me. Someone I can't stop thinking about. Someone who lights up the whole room with her passion."

Sam... Are you even talking about Sofia at this point?

Malaika was frustrated by the 'hot and cold' behaviour Sam showed. One moment he is all over her saying things like 'I want to taste you' and then the next moment say that 'we can't'.

Malaika understood where he was coming from. She understood that this game they were playing was forbidden and dangerous but Malaika was never one to shy away from the adrenaline rush.

And on top of it, he is so possesive about me that he goes wild like a rogue buffalo when he sees me with another guy. Malaika snorted rolling her eyes.

"Awww I love you too boo-bear." Sofia squealed as she hugged him. Sam picked her up and twirled her around not letting go of her.

"Passion is not a word I would use for Sofia." Robin mused turning back to look at Malaika.

"...right." A frown tugged on her lips and and the longer she stared at her arms around Sam, the dizzier she felt.

If he thinks I am some weak bitch who will just sit on the sidelines and cry, then he is wrong.

She turned to Robin, who starts to make another snide remark but stopped short when he saw the determined look on her face.

A small smirk made its way on to his lips. "What? Finally want to join in on the fun? 'Cause you know I am down for anything."

The adrenaline, anger and alcohol surged through her as she came up with a plan.

Was it stupid? Yes.

Was that going to stop her? Nope.

As Sam continued his toast, Malaika turned her full attention to Robin. She placed her hand on Robin's chest and his eyes widened.

"What would you say to upping the ante on your little game with Sam? See how far we can really push him? All in good fun of course."

Robin gave her a thoughtful side-eye while poking his tongue against the inside of his lip. Finally, he chuckled.

"Consequences be damned. Let's do it."

In a fluid motion, he wrapped his hand around her waist and she leaned into him, which did not go unnoticed by Sam.

"As I was saying, Sofia is an incredible woman..."

Robin gave a grin. "Forget Sofia, you're the easiest woman to pretend-flirt with I've ever met."

"Back at ya, my partner-in-crime."

"I am hurt. I thought we could be partners and mor-"

"Shhh Robin, we are on a mission." She lightly slapped his chest.

Robin rolled his eyes. "And pray tell me what is the name of the mission?"

Without thinking Malaika blurted out. "Salty Sam."

Both of them snickered and Malaika punched him playfully. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Sam struggling to get a visual on what was happening between the two.

Sam continued his speech. "But, uh, what I like most about Sofia is... ugh, move, you big oaf."

"What?!" Sofia's smile melted into a scowl.

"Whoops." Robin said with zero guilt.

Realisation dawned on Sam, as he struggled to fix the mess he made. "I said... 'you're smooth as merlot'? Because you've always had such sophisticated taste in everything...? Except men, I suppose."

The crowd chuckled at the joke and Robin shakes his head. "Always manages to stick the landing."

"Let's take it up a notch, shall we?" Malaika asked with a wicked grin.

"I like the sound of that. Didn't know you were so bad."

Malaika opened her mouth to reply when Sam tapped on the mic and sent a death glare Robin's way which sent a shiver down her spine.

"A-hem. I know some of you are busy smooth-talking your 'flavor of the week', but all eyes need to be up here, thanks."

Malaika's eyes narrowed. How fucking dare he, that entitled jackass?

Robin raised a hand in apology as he shifted to face the couple again, but his lips found her ear.

"Uh-oh we are making the boss mad."

"Oops we did it again." Malaika chuckled under her breath.

"But do you know what will make Sam go completely berserk with jealousy?"

"Enlighten me, O' wise one."

"If he saw us leave together."

"Damn Robin... You really went for the throat, huh?"

"That's how we prey Malaika."

"As much as that fulfills your wet dreams, I actually have thought out what we need to do." Malaika reached and smoothly snatched the glass out of Robin's hand.

"Hey! Give it back." Robin reached for it again and he was dangerously close, his cologne surrounding her. Her eyes darted and met furious hazel ones, staring back at her. Sam's speech was long forgotten and his eyes were solely focused on her... And Robin.

That might teach you not to fuck around with me.

"Now for the winning stroke... Kiss me."

Robin's eyes widened and his jaw was on the ground. "Seriously? Now?" He whispered back.

"Don't you want to?"

"Hell yeah." With that he pulled her body flush against his and crashed his lips to hers. Malaika grabbed his shoulders to steady herself.

Damn... Robin is a good kisser. Malaika thoughts as he deepened the kiss.

They pulled back and Malaika expected Sam to be on the verge of an exploding, ready to bark at them for the unsolicited PDA, but he wasn't.

He just smirked and the glint in his brown orbs making her wary. He reached for Sofia and pulled her into a passionate kiss, his eyes not leaving Malaika's shocked ones.

Oh...

Robin was calling her name but it sounded far away, as if her head was dunked in a bucket of cold water, the reality chilling into her bones.

She should look away or close her eyes to stop the pain, but she just could not. He could see the pink of his tongue entering Sofia's mouth and she saw red.

"I think I had enough excitement for the night." She mumbled as she got out of Robin's embrace and reached for her champagne flute, and raised it towards Sam's direction, an indication that he won.

Congratulations asshole, you stomped all over the remains of my dignity and heart.

She set the glass down and headed towards the bathroom so that she could have a breakdown in peace.

"Hey you okay?" Robin asked, catching her by the elbow. Malaika managed to out on a smile and patted his hands. "Just peachy. I will just go and get fresh." She turned on her heels and walked.

But even as she walked away, she could feel a pair of eyes staring at her leaving form.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She found the restroom like a oasis in the desert. It was completely empty and she finally was alone after hours of torture.

"It's okay.... You are going to be fine... Breathe in, breathe out." Her manicured nails were clutching the counter, trying to recentre herself. She looked up to see her reflection staring back at herself.

She was greatful for her russet brown skin for it could hide the bags underneath her eyes. Her onyx brown eyes looked tired due to the juggling between her work and her feelings. The only thing which had survived the entire ordeal was her dark hair with light brown undertones.

Under the soft lights of the restroom, her short baby blue dress popped against the deep bronze of her skin.

My life maybe falling apart but at least I look hot.

In midst of her washing her hands she saw Sofia strut in and stand in front of the basin beside her.

There are literally six other basins she could stand and do her gaudy makeup but no. Ever learnt of personal space lady? Malaika rolled her eyes as she continued washing her hands.

The quicker I finish, the faster I can yeet myself out of her highness' presence. Malaika chanted in her head as she reached for the tissue paper.

"He isn't going to love you."

Huh?

Malaika turned towards Sofia, with an incredulous expression in her face.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"I think you are reading too much into this."

"Please. You don't become the most successful heiress to a Multi-Million dollar Company by being an airhead." Sofia said as she reached for her face powder.

"I think the spotlight under which you stand has blinded you." Malaika said as she reached for her lipstick, coating a nice layer of Burgundy on her lips.

Sofia stopped what she was doing and turned towards her, a patronizing smile on her face. "Aw, aren't you cute. You think I didn't see that little game you had going on?"

"I was with Robin, what the hell are you talking about?" Malaika clenched her hand around the lipstick, annoyed by the fact that this bitch could see through her intentions. She maybe fuming on the inside but she had the perfect poker face on the outside.

"Oh naive Malaika. You both were so obvious that even the paparazzi noticed it. But, if you want to be a petulant child and continue living in the state of denial, then okay."

Malaika clenched her jaw. I am so close to yanking of her hair extensions.

Sofia capped her lipstick and placed it in her clutch. She turned towards Malaika. "See, I don't give a damn about what's going on between you and Sam. But, I have known Sam for a long time and I have known that you are nothing but a momentary infatuation."

Sofia placed her left hand on her waist and the diamond ring glittered an underlying threat.

"Bask in the attention all you want, I am not saying no. But at the end of the day he is marrying me and it's my bed he going to be sleeping in."

Sofia walked up to Malaika and stared her down. Malaika matched the intensity of her stare, her height giving her the advantage of matching the intimidating glare.

"I usually get what I want, be it the good way or the crook's way. Nothing will ever stop me from getting what I want. So go, do your job of a nanny because that's all you will ever be. Ciao!"

Sofia turned on her heels and she walked out of the bathroom, leaving Malaika pissed to another level.

That bitch...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Wow... Pardon my language but that bitch!" Robin exclaimed as they stood near the window, in the hallway talking.

"That's exactly what I said!! See, I fucking topped in biochemistry in NYU. I'm financially independent- I mean as independent as I can be. I already have job offer but it starts after six months and that too, in LA. So that's why I took up this job of a nanny so that I could save up enough money to move, pay off my student loans and have time to work on my thesis."

Robin put his hand on Malaika's shoulder. "I know it's hard M. Hell, I am called Sam's assistant when I am literally the Chief operating officer."

"Fuck the rich. Fuck capitalism. I hate this. I’m sorry for being such a Debbie downer," Malaika grumbled as she crossed her arms and stared at her feet.

"No its okay... I understand. If you need to talk, I'm here okay?"

"What would I do without my partner-in-crime?"

"Probably die of boredom?" They both chuckled. Robin put an arm around Malaika and squeezed her into a side hug. Malaika returned the gesture and laid her head on his shoulder as they stared out of the 40th floor.

"Things will get better M."

"You don't know that." Pessimism ringing clear in her voice.

"But I know you and I know that you are hell of a fighter... And that's why I know you'd be great in bed."

Malaika groaned and pushed him. "Dude, read the room."

Robin laughed and something caught his eye, causing the laughter to die down. "Malaika, Sam is here."

"A'ight, that's my cue to leave. Once again, thank you Robin." Malaika started fast walking down the hallway. There was a deserted service elevator which she could use to get away undetected.

"Malaika!" Sam called out.

Fuck my luck. Malaika cursed as she stopped in her tracks.

"Back off Sam." Robin spoke up stepping in his way.

"Robin, can you kindly fuck off. You are the last person I want to talk to after the stunt you pulled. What the hell were you doing with Malaika?"

"Why does it matter to you?!"

"She is not one of your dates. I won't let you take advantage of her just because she is vulnerable."

Is he on crack?

"Who said he is taking advantage of me?" Malaika angrily spoke up, her eyes blazing with anger.

That seem to motivate Robin because he stood up taller and spoke back. "Yeah, calm down, Mr Big Shot. I'm cleaning up your mess."

Shock coloured his face which infuriated her further. "What is that supposed to mean?"

The sheer audacity to pull the Pikachu face...

"Sam I- I just can't with you. Robin, good bye! I had a lovely time." She threw a smile Robin's way and he waved back at her.

"Malaika, wait up!"

This time she rushed into the open lift and pressed the close button multiple times before it started closing. Sam was still pretty far away so she let out a sigh of relief.

Thank fuc-

The door opened and Sam entered.

Malaika dragged a hand down her face, groaning internally. She was already in a bad mood and she didn't have the bandwidth to deal with mixed signals at the moment.

The next time I meet like luck character, she and I are going to have a nice chat.

"Malaika." Sam said, his eyes focused on her.

"That's my name."

Sam clenched his jaw in annoyance, and Malaika crossed her arms stubbornly. She looked the other way but from the corner of her eye, she saw how the lights of the lift casted shadows on his face, making him look sharp and angular, as if he was cut from granite.

"See Malaika I just wanted to know if you are okay."

"I am in the utmost state of bliss." The words sarcastically dripped of her lips and Sam's eyes narrowed.

"Oh. So is this how we are going to go about this?"

"What's there to go about? I am fucking done and I need to sleep."

"Fine." Sam tuned around and pressed the emergency stop button on the lift and it smoothly came to a stop.

Malaika gripped on to the railing out of surprised and threw a dirty look towards Sam.

"We are not leaving until we talk." Sam said as he stood opposite her. The lift was four feet wide, and the fact that they were in a metal cage, all alone was really distracting Malaika.

"You want to talk? Fine. Let's talk about how I don't need you to protect me. It's a party, and I'm a young, single woman. I could be up to anything or fucking anyone, and it wouldn't be any of your business!"

"I know that but-" Sam said in a perplexed voice.

"Do you though? You hired me to be your nanny, not a girlfriend. That's Sofia's job."

Sam winced. "I..I know that too."

Malaika stepped forward and poked a finger into his chest. "One minute, you pull me onto the dance floor, then the next, I'm watching your engagement speech!"

Sam stood to his towering height, glaring down at her. "And I can't stop thinking about that dance or about the way you were grinding that ass on my dick. Do you know how long it took me to cool down?"

If it were any other day, Malaika’s brain would have short-circuited with the words he spoke, but not today. Today she was pissed, hurt and ready to beat the hell out of someone.

She grew up in fucking Brooklyn, she isn't some weak bitch you can trample on.

Another jab.

"Here is your big fucking chance to talk so go ahead and let me have it! Tell me how ‘sorry’ you are or how ‘wrong’ this is."

"Don't provoke me, Malaika." Sam spoke through clenched teeth.

She didn't care. Another step closer, another jab to the chest.

"Why did you really want me here tonight? Did you want me to be here and see her all over you? To see you playing tonsil hockey game with her? Sorry sir, but that is not covered in my pay-check."

She raised her finger to jab him again but this time Sam grabbed her finger tightly.

Wonder how would that feel aro-

Not the time brain. Malaika chided her inner thot.

"No of course not! I just- I just wanted you to stay. For once in my life, I wasn't thinking ahead."

The alcohol and the day's frustration had caught up to her and she didn't care if she sounded snarky and rude. He already deals with Sofia’s jabs, so how could I be any worse? "Wow, what an earth shattering revelation. Yeah well, let me make it easy for you and quit."

"Don't fucking do that." Sam rushed.

Malaika sighed, leaning her head in his broad strong shoulders. She looked up and spoke. "Face the facts. It'd be a lot easier for both of us if we don't have to see each other every day."

"I'm trying Malaika..." He said as his touch ran down her arms, changing from hard restraint to a gentle caress, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Even though I am angry, how does this man manage to get butterflies in my stomach.

"Every day, I'm fighting not to let myself get carried away. I'm fighting not to touch you. I'm fighting not to do this..." He buried his head into her neck and placed a hot, wet kiss at her jugular, knowing that it's the one spot that drives her absolutely mad.

"...or do this..." His hands slid from her waist to her ass, groping them. A gasp left her lips and her eyes fluttered shut, feeling the sensation of his lips kissing the crook of her neck, his hands wandering and sqeezing and his growing erection against her stomach.

"...and I definitely missed doing this." He pulled her hair, forcing her to look at him as he crashed his lips against hers, an avalanche of desire unleashed.

Malaika returned the kiss with equal fervour. She reached to loop her hands around his neck to pull him so close that she was literally painted on him.

But that wasn't enough for Sam.

He pushed her against the wall, his broad and sculpted body completely covering her frame. His hands unhooked her dainty ones and pushed them against the wall, locking them in place.

"I want to fuck you until I can feel that sweet little pussy clenching around my cock." He whispered in her ear, before catching her earlobe in his teeth and tugging.

Malaika let out a moan her stomach involuntarily clenched, desire lighting up each inch of her body, as if a matchstick was thrown into a pool of gasoline.

"Keep making those noises. Can't wait to make you scream my name until your throat is sore." Sam spoke in a husky voice, his hand letting her go and reaching for the zip on the back of her dress.

Malaika reached to help him but he just pushed her hand away. "Just relax and let me do what I'm good at." Sam started kneeling down, and that sent her imagination into overdrive.

"And what would that be?" Malaika asked, her eyes wanton as he unclasped her bra, showing off her plump breasts.

Sam then proceeded to remove her soaked panties, and holding them near his nose to inhale her scent before snapping his dark eyes towards her.

"To devour you. To worship you. To make you come hard."

Malaika clenched her thighs and Sam stood up, smirking at the effect his dirty talk had on her. He stood back up, his hand running along her smooth calf, thighs and stopped to rest on her hipbone, gently massaging it.

His other hand cupped her face, his thumb running along the cushion of her bottom lip. "Is that what you want, baby girl?"

Malaika was an outgoing woman and rarely found herself tongue tied but here she was, at a complete loss of words.

Oh god...

So instead of saying, she showed. Her hand reached for his erection, and palmed him through his trousers. Sam's eyes darkened and he descended on her mouth with such passion which had her breathless.

And as if that wasn't enough, his fingers found their way to her pussy, which was throbbing with a heartbeat of it own.

It was a fight for dominance. A fight to see who could get the other to bend at their will. Malaika's hand flew through the buttons of his tacky suit, exposing his strong, broad chest with sparse chest hair. Sam hooked her leg against his hip so that he could get better access to her, his hands running along the smooth supple skin.

Malaika's head rolled and rested on the cool surface of the elevator, lost in the pleasure of his fingers rubbing her clit. She was so wet and she knew that his hands would be dripping with her arousal.

Two digits entered her and her back arched against the wall, her breasts making contact with his naked chest.

"Do you feel it Malaika? Do you feel how wet you are for me? Do you know how sexy you look right now?" He spoke lowly, his voice husky with desire.

"Yes sir." Malaika choked out as his thumb brushed the hood of her sensitive clit.

"I'm... Gonna come." She panted out which was a mistake because he withdrew his fingers.

"Asshole." She sweated.

"And what about it? You wanted to quit didn't you? I did it-" Sam was interrupted by Malaika grabbing his ugly floral tie and pulling him towards her.

"With all due respect, fuck me, hard. Don't hold back one bit otherwise I swear to god, I won't let you come."

"Turn around, baby girl." She obeyed, almost giddy that she was finally gonna be dicked down.

He grabbed her wrists which made her yelp. He took his tie and tied it around them, securing them in their place. It was just perfect, not too tight nor too loose.

Sam moved her hair to one side placed hot fiery kissed on her neck, lapping up the moisture accumulated. "Look at you... What a delectable sight. You will forget your fucking name after I'm done with you."

"I'm holding you to it sir."

"The more you use sir, the more it feels like an insult." Sam said, his erection digging into her backside

"You do you sir."

Spreading her legs, she heard Sam's belt unbuckling, which made her excited and increase her yearning to feel him. The moment Sam saw her twitching, he slapped her ass which caused her to let out a breathless moan. He massage the spot where he spanked her leading her to get impatient.

What’s the fucking hold up?

"Stop fucking standing there with your junk in your hand you- holllyy shitt." She was interrupted as she felt Sam's dick rub against her walls, coating them with her arousal.

Grabbing her waist tightly, he entered and Sam rumbled in approval, enjoying the way her walls clenched and unclenched around him.

"You feels so good Malaika. Almost heavenly."

Malaika pressed her forehead against the cool surface and let out a moan, a flux of pain and pleasure cursing through her veins.

"Oh lord..." She moaned.

He moved slowly initially, so that she could get used to his size. But once Malaika started get fidgety and begged him to fuck him harder, it awoke something in him. Something primal and something which motivated him to snap his hips and pummel into her.

In. Out. In. out. A steady punishing rhythm was set which had Malaika crying, from ecstasy. Sam's hand reached to grab her breast and roll her nipple, making them erect and heavy with need. His other hand reached to rub her which had her screaming due to the override of stimulation.

"Please don't stop... pounding my pussy... please." Malaika begged, feeling her climax coming closer and closer as she soared above.

Sam grunted, his lower spine tingling and his abs clenching, his need to release fueling his motions further. His thrusts became shorter and faster, which was just enough to push them over the edge.

Malaika screamed, failing to be quiet while Sam moaned out loud, and sunk his teeth into her shoulder to muffle it. The bliss lasted for what seemed like eternity, both of them clutching on to each other as they slowly floated down from cloud nine. Malaika was leaning against the wall of the elevator, her legs feeling like jelly.

Sam unbound her hands and pulled put of her, causing her to wince at the sudden emptiness. He turned her towards him, hugging her in his muscular arms. He ran his fingers through her head as Malaika sought solace in his embrace, her breath becoming normal after a while.

Sam kissed her forehead. "We will try, Malaika."

"Yeah... I am not giving up on you Sam."

"Thank you for having faith in me baby girl. Its a mess but, I am not giving up on you either.” Malaika smiled, feeling some sort of peace in a very long time.

okay so um yeah... here is your flask of holy water

this would have to be the filthiest thing I have ever written sike

I hope you liked it heheheh

like, comment, reblog and let me know what you think <3

#Anushka writes #ns*w #choices #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices stories we play #the nanny affair #choices tna #sam dalton smut #m! sam dalton x mc #sam x mc #tna mc

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luvteez · 4 years

Text

attention

pairing: hongjoong x fem!reader genre + tags: smut | spanking, fingering, exhibitionism, humiliation wc: 1.7k

“Care to explain what you’re doing?”

Hongjoong has witnessed many questionable first sights once he gets back to the dorms from the studio — too many to count, to be completely honest — but this is a first. This being you sitting on the couch with both legs thrown over Yunho’s lap who isn’t keeping his hands to himself. It doesn’t help that you’re wearing that ridiculously short skirt that doesn’t even cover a quarter of your thighs, and it certainly doesn’t help that you’re blatantly encouraging him to feel up your legs as if there was nothing wrong with it.

Your eyes light up once you notice your boyfriend. “Hongjoong! C’mere, I sha—“

“You know what? I don’t wanna hear it,” he deadpans and immediately makes a beeline towards his room. “Give me ten. I’ll drive you home,” he says in passing and before you can retaliate, the door slams shut. You frown.

“Did he have a bad day or something?” you mumble under your breath.

“He’s probably frustrated that a track didn’t come out right,” Yunho sighs. “Happens all the time, but by morning he’s calmed down. It looks like he’s more pissed than usual, though. Why don’t you check up on him? Then you’ll also stop pestering me about your shaved legs.”

You scoff at him and land a playful punch on his shoulder. “I needed to show someone. You just happened to be the closest victim. Besides, who can resist soft legs?!” To prove your point, you shove one leg right under his nose, but all Yunho does is roll his eyes and push it back down.

“Whatever. Now get off me.”

Sending him one last glare, you finally peel yourself off him and scramble to Hongjoong’s room. When you enter, he’s exchanged the shirt he was wearing before with a different one, the old shirt carelessly thrown on the bed. He cocks a brow at you, then proceeds to ignore you.

It’s one thing being stressed from work, but it’s a completely different matter to be an asshole. Not wanting to deal with his attitude any longer, you grab him by the shoulder and force him to look at you.

“What’s wrong with you? Is it because of work or something else?“

“I bet you think you’re real cute letting him put his hands all over you. We’ll see how cute you look later when I get you home,” is all Hongjoong spits out before he pulls your hand away from his shoulder and attempts to drag you out of his room.

You only budge a little, but it’s enough to show that you’re not on the same page as him. “What? I came here all the way to see you, and I’m not letting you kick me out when you’re this aggravated.”

“Well, guess what? I don’t care. Now let me drive you home while I can still control my anger.” His voice drops, but the warning edge bleeds through.

You narrow your eyes and give him a once-over before you get the big picture. Your jaw almost drops open at the realization, because Hongjoong? Jealous? Impossible. You’re about to tell him off and clear the misunderstanding immediately until a different thought hogs your mind.

It’s probably a bad idea — hell, you’re playing with fire given his current state fueled by envy, it’s way more than a bad fucking idea — but you could have some fun with this. A challenging smile forms on your lips.

“Why wait ‘til you get me home when you could show me my place now?”

Hongjoong looks at you as if you’ve completely lost it. He swallows heavily once he realizes that you’re dead serious, and then his demeanor darkens. “You’re impossible,” he growls before dropping himself on the bed and manhandling you across his lap. It all happens in a flash, and it isn’t until after that you register him restraining your wrists behind your back with one of his shirts. You try to wiggle away from him, but he keeps you pinned on your stomach.

A hand flips your skirt up and strokes over the swell of your ass. “This is for letting Yunho grope you.” The harsh slap bounces through the room as well as the broken cry that leaves you, followed by pleas to not do it again. However, hongjoong ignores you. He does it again, and you lurch forward from the brute strength. “And this is for pissing me off.”

Hongjoong works quickly and yanks the skirt off you along with your underwear before kneading one of your cheeks. Upon that, a moan threatens to leave you. “You get ten more spanks for good measure,” he says, his free hand reaching up to tug on your hair. “And count for me, would you? Unless you want to prolong this punishment. But that would mean a higher chance of the others finding out. The walls aren’t soundproof and the door is open after all.”

The door is what now—

Your blood runs cold. Panic hogs your mind as your eyes flit to the door and indeed, the door is slightly open. You gulp, horrified at the thought that someone might’ve heard how Hongjoong spanked you just now, might’ve heard how you actually liked the treatment.

Your mouth feels dry and you’re pretty sure you’re going to lose your voice for good. Yet nonetheless, you still manage to croak out, “If I beg, will you at least lock the door?”

Although you can’t see him, you know that he’s made up his mind already and is just entertaining your idea. The words hang heavily in the air and after a while, he answers. “No. You were so eager to let Yunho touch you, so who cares if anyone else sees you like this? Bet you’d want the others to touch you anyway. Should I? Should I call the others and let them watch you get spanked? Let them take turns and touch you like this too?”

It shouldn’t, absolutely should not have crossed your mind, but the damage has been done. The image of the other seven members present in the bedroom, drinking in the view of you sprawled across Hongjoong’s lap and taking turns punishing you is burned into your skull. Perhaps, Seonghwa and Yunho would be the nicest ones, delivering clean hits that make you cry out of pleasure. San and Wooyoung, on the other hand, would be the devil’s little shits and take their time teasing you, running their hands up your thighs first and driving you into hypersensitivity. You wouldn’t even put it past Hongjoong to let them spread your folds apart, toy with your clit, and tease your entrance until you’re leaking and hopelessly clenching around nothing before striking a hit on your cunt.

Add Yeosang’s sadistic streak and Jongho’s brute strength to that and—

“You’re dripping and staining my pants after just a little dirty talk? Oh my, perhaps I should let the others see,“ Hongjoong muses, running a stripe up your pussy to prove his point. The direct contact has you downright trembling in shame.

“D-don’t... please...” you whimper, fumbling around once again but to no avail. Hongjoong resumes his ministrations, speeding up his fingers when your voice grows louder and then finally gives you a sharp spank on your ass that has you choking on air.

“Count,” he reminds sweetly, his voice the polar opposite of his actions.

His fingertips ghost over the insides of your thighs, and you know his patience is running thin. “One,” you wrench out, and you can pretty much hear the smile in his voice.

“Well done. Keep up with me.”

And so the cycle repeats. He teases your slit, forcing you to hypersensitivity before he hits. You’re trembling throughout the entire ordeal, and one too many times did you almost lose control of your voice. By the fifth spank, you are twitching uncontrollably, pussy aching from clenching around nothing. Hongjoong makes you painfully aware of the mess you’re making on his pants and your ass feels sore all over. However, you still manage to withstand the punishment and by the end of it, you are drained.

Seems like you’re not the only one who’s beat. “I’m starting to get thirsty. I need a drink,” Hongjoong mumbles, but you still catch every word despite the buzz in your ears. “I’ll go grab something in the kitchen. It won’t take long. You okay staying here by yourself?” You nod dazedly, and that’s all the confirmation he needs before he lays you down on your back and presses a kiss on your forehead. The shirt is still restraining your wrists behind your back, but you don’t mind the pain.

You expect him to get up, but instead, he suddenly restrains your ankles against the bedposts, forcing your legs apart. In an instant, your eyes shoot up to him in disbelief. “W-what...?”

“After everything you did, I believe you still need to bear your shame.” His eyes stop and stare at your exposed pussy for a while longer, and then he dips a finger down to press on your clit. The cry that leaves you is beyond filthy and loud, and you can only pray that nobody else has heard it. “Look at you, making a mess out of yourself. What would the others think if they happened to pass by this room and see inside? Would they take pity on you or watch in glee?”

You can only watch in silent horror as he gets up and swings the door wide open. It’s almost like your heart is about to break your rib cage, adrenaline is rushing through your veins, and the only thing you can channel your energy into is the fear that someone might see you. If it’s Seonghwa or Jongho, it might end better than if it were Yeosang or Wooyoung finding you first. you can already picture it if it were one of the latter; they’d either let everybody know about your pathetic position or even worse, string you around like a doll and take pictures and—

It’s Hongjoong who breaks you out of your thoughts.

“Let’s hope nobody will come in, hm?”

[ members’ reactions to walking in on you here and here ]

#uh idk what on earth this is supposed to be no cap #ateez smut #atz smut #hongjoong smut #kim hongjoong smut #luvsmut

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laurawritesandgames · 4 years

Text

Title: The Children We Never Had

Fandom: Beetlejuice (Musical)

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Beetlejuice/Barbara/Adam

Prompt: Hurt/Comfort

Content Warning: References to miscarriages and abortion

Summary: As Delia and Charles prepare to start their family together, Barbara reflects on her chance to have her own children. What once seemed so simple can become much more complicated when you’re a ghost....

Delia and Charles had just completed the first round of IVF treatments. Delia was fanatic about getting all toxins out of the house, so one Saturday the Maitlands, Beetlejuice and Lydia were helping Delia get rid of any plastic containers in the kitchen, to be replaced with glass containers.

“Why is there so much Tupperware?” Delia exclaimed.

“One of Mom’s friends sold Tupperware, and we had a few parties,” Lydia said. “Mom was sick for years. If she’d been able to keep up with the science, I doubt she would’ve kept them. She was nuts about the environment.” Lydia frowned thoughtfully. “Say, Delia, what exactly are your thoughts on vaccines?”

Barbara and Adam shared a look. They knew from the Maitland-Deetz’s biweekly parenting meetings that Delia had anti-vaxxer tendencies. She was, at least, open to a respectful discussion about vaccines. Give Charles a few conversations and she’d probably give in to science and reason—the newlyweds were crazy for each other.

Not that Lydia had any of that context.

“I’m just not convinced vaccines are necessary. I have some very interesting websites I can show you later, Lydia. There’s a lot of doubt about the so-called ‘science’ that Big Pharma doesn’t want you to see.”

Lydia’s lip curled in the disgust.

“Are you an idiot?!” Beetlejuice said. “I lived in a world without vaccines. It was shit!”

“I just don’t know if I’m willing to take that risk,” Delia said, with her polite, argument-deflecting smile. Adam’s parents had been masters at avoiding conflict, so Barbara knew what would happen next. She’d say something light or silly and try to get everyone focused on the kitchen again.

“I should draw a door and bring you to the Netherworld, Delia. Give you a tour of Diaper Town so you can see all the dead babies that’re there from before childhood vaccines were a thing.”

“Diaper Town?” Lydia asked.

“Eh, that’s not the real name—just what we called it. Where the dead babies go. Ugh! I had a shift in Diaper Town for a few decades. It was the worst.”

“I imagine they look like they did when they died,” Lydia said, thoughtfully.

“And they never age! That’s the only reason people hang around babies—because they eventually become not-babies.”

“What about miscarriages? Mom had a few before me. Is there going to be a clump of Deetz cells in the Netherworld?”

Barbara reached out for Adam’s hand and found it within seconds. (He’d been across the room a second ago. He must have teleported.) She clenched it. Hard.

Beetlejuice didn’t notice.

As a ghost, you were always cold. Barbara couldn’t get colder. She also couldn’t swallow to try to wet a dry mouth. Her hands wouldn’t grow cold and prickly with shock. Her emotions were completely disconnected from bodily sensations. She could feel Adam behind her and leaned back into him slightly. Not that he made her feel warmer. Nothing ever would.

If she’d been alive, she might’ve looked like Delia: her face pale as she forced a too-wide smile onto her face. “Let’s all talk about something else, shall we? I don’t want any bad vibes.” Her hand rested on her stomach. During one of their parenting meetings, she’d mentioned she only had a few eggs left. “Not—not right now.”

Lydia glared at her. “Seriously? Hearing about a dead woman’s fertility issues isn’t going to hurt your fetus.”

“The Deetus,” Beetlejuice added. “Deetz fetus. Get it?”

Lydia ignored him. “Bad vibes aren’t a thing!”

“We’ll agree to disagree on that one.” Delia hurried out of the kitchen. “Would anyone mind a smudging ceremony? Just to clear the air and usher in tranquility?”

Lydia followed with a shriek of rage. “’Smudging ceremony’? Are you from an Indigenous tribe, Delia? Because if you’re not, that’s major cultural appropriation!”

“Ooo, cultural appropriation! I know that one!” Beetlejuice said, delighted. When he’d first come back from the Netherworld, the Maitlands had held a few sensitivity seminars for him so he could stop getting into arguments with Lydia. Beetlejuice’s views were a weird mix of surprisingly progressive and incredibly archaic. “It’s a culture, not a costume!” He floated over to Barbara and Adam. “Did I do that right? Do I get a kiss?”

It took a lot of effort to focus on Beetlejuice right now. “Sorry,” Barbara said. “We’re not going to reward you for being a decent person. But thank you for trying.”

Beetlejuice huffed in disappointment.

Adam cleared his throat. Barbara glanced at him. Adam tilted his head slightly at Beetlejuice, raising his eyebrows questioningly. He was asking her for permission to tell Beetlejuice. After a moment’s thought, Barbara nodded. Beetlejuice liked to keep things light, but he was their boyfriend, after all. He should learn a bit more about Barbara and Adam.

“What happens to children who died before they were born?” Adam asked quietly.

Beetlejuice shrugged. “I dunno. I was born dead in one of the original versions of the musical, but it ain’t canon. There aren’t any fetuses floating around the Netherworld. Maybe they go someplace else?” He shrugged, spreading his hands. “I got nothing.”

Out of habit (not because she actually needed to breathe), Barbara sighed in relief. Thank God, was her first thought, despite having a pretty good idea that God didn’t exist. She let of of Adam’s hand, giving him a small smile.

“Why do you wanna know?” Beetlejuice asked.

Barbara shared another look with Adam before saying, “When I was 22, I got pregnant.” She cleared her throat. She hadn’t talked about this in years.

Beetlejuice didn’t like silences. Immediately, he said, “Quit pulling my leg. If you were pregnant, then where’s your—”

It took a few moments, but his eyes finally widened and his jaw dropped. “Oh. Ohhhh. I didn’t think…” His hands began flapping, then running up and down his sleeves and fiddling with his cuffs. “So we’re bringing in some of the movie backstory. Okay. Okay. Sure.”

“The what?” Adam asked.

“Nevermind. So you guys had a miscarriage.”

“An abortion, actually,” Barbara said.

Beetlejuice stopped bobbing faintly, freezing in mid-air. His voice rose in pitch as he said, “I saw the tags on this fic and I assumed you’d be hurt/comforting me! I’m the one with all the issues! Who the hell told you that you guys could have issues?!”

“What now?” Barbara said, forcing her tone to stay even.

“And also, our lives weren’t perfect,” Adam said. “I just want to remind you that both of my parents are dead. So…yeah. When we were alive, we had struggles and challenges like everybody else.”

Beetlejuice began coughing. He stuck his fingers in his mouth, eventually pulling out a foot and tossing it on the ground. (Barbara had learned not to ask whose foot.) “Um. Can I try again?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Feel free.”

Beetlejuice opened and closed his mouth a few times, but didn’t say anything.

Adam said, “Just so you know, Bug, this isn’t something to share.” Beetlejuice was a compulsive oversharer; they’d learned to explicitly tell him what was appropriate and what wasn’t.

“It’s not because we’re ashamed,” Barbara said quickly. “It’s just our story to tell, that’s all.”

“Right! I can do that.” He focused on something in the middle distance. “Although maybe some people could really examine their need to inject complicated real-world issues into a stupid five-page fic for Beetlelands Week. Not every fandom and every fic can bear that weight! And some characters definitely aren’t designed to deal with shit like this! They’re awesome Deadpool-style badasses and not…not…whatever this needs!”

Barbara loved Beetlejuce, but he was getting on her last nerve. I didn’t think he’d completely disassociate like this. It’s only a goddamn abortion. He didn’t even have to deal with anything! “Well, I’m sorry my and Adam’s history is such an inconvenience for you. I’m going to go find something to do. If you want to talk when you’re not spiraling and doing whatever this is, come find me.”

Barbara teleported to their bedroom, the Deetzes’ former guest room, upstairs, and Adam teleported with her.

Tears wavered in his eyes. Startled, she held him, stroking his back.

“Sorry,” he murmured.

“No, don’t be.”

He sniffled a few times, wiping his tears away. Their ghostly bodies still remembered how to produce tears, and if Beetlejuice was any indication, that memory would stick with them for centuries. He whispered, “We would’ve had a child. If it weren’t for me—”

Adam had always felt needless guilt about mentioning the abortion first. She’d thought he’d gotten over it. “You didn’t force me. We had student loans, the recession had just hit the year before, we couldn’t find work, and most importantly? We weren’t ready. We were barely ready 10 years later, when we had a house and good jobs.”

He smiled sadly, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Sorry. I don’t know where this is coming from.” He stroked her cheek. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

She blinked. “I’m…fine? I’ve been fine for 10 years.” She hadn’t been fine immediately before and after the abortion. There’d been lots of crying, praying, and long conversations, but that had been a long time ago. Gently, she asked, “I thought you were, too. Was I wrong?”

When did we really talk about it except immediately after? Barbara couldn’t recall.

Adam gave her that same distracted smile he used to give her after his parents’ funeral. He was a brave little soldier, marching forward. “You weren’t wrong. I’m fine.”

You didn’t push when you saw that smile. “I think I’m going to read something. Want to join me?”

“I wouldn’t mind working on the model a bit more. Call me if you need anything.”

“I will.” She kissed his cheek, and he went up to the attic to work on his model of Winter River.

She was choosing between Michelle Obama’s biography a polyamory how-to guide when a spider skittered underneath the door. The spider climbed up the wall then began spinning a web in the corner of the room at unnatural speed. Letters appeared in the web.

SORRY

I WAS A BAD BOYFRIEND

It’s a Charlotte’s Web homage, Barbara realized. She’d loved that book as a child. He remembered. “Apology accepted, Beetlejuice.”

He knocked on the door. Opening it revealed him reading from index cards. Delia, who was using her life coach skills to help Beetlejuice adjust to being part of the family, had encouraged him to write down important things.

“I should have reacted a lot better than I did,” Beetlejuice read. “You and Adam trusted me with with a part of your lives, and I should have liz—lizden? Shit, I’m bad at spelling.” He looked up from the cards, rocking back and forth on his feet. “Anyway, thanks for trusting me, baby. Sorry I was being a dick about it. You and Adam having an—an abortion had nothing to do with me or my feelings.”

Beetlejuice could talk about the filthiest sex acts and talk about rotting corpses without flinching, but now he was stumbling. Interesting. “Well, ‘we had an abortion’ might’ve been a lot to throw at you. We could’ve prepared you better.” She nodded him inside, and he floated in. She closed the door behind her. “I imagine abortions weren’t really talked about in your day.”

“Well, we thought ladies’ wombs wandered around their bodies, so…no.”

“Do you have any questions?”

“Um…are you okay?” He fidgeted. “You’re all…y’know, motherly and shit. Are you sad about having an abortion?”

“No. I mean, I don’t love that I needed it. Adam and I were a lot more careful making love after that, believe me. But Adam and my family had my back, and luckily I live in a state where I can access an abortion easily. I also found some forums, and chatting with people who’d also had abortions helped me feel less alone. Honestly, until Lydia brought up miscarriages today, I hadn’t thought about my abortion in years.” Feeling awkward, she chuckled. “Um, really glad I won’t have to deal with a clump of cells following me around in the Netherworld, though.”

She felt a twinge of guilt for not feeling guiltier. Her Good Christian Girl upbringing still reared its head now and then. But I did what was best for my family at the time. That’s all anyone can do. If I’d known Adam and I were going to die 10 years later, we might’ve done things differently, but how could we have known that?

“So, that’s my story. I was supported and very lucky. I’m not sad or guilty or anything.” She frowned. “Adam might be, though. He was strangely upset.” Did I do something wrong? Has he been suffering for years without me noticing? “He’s upstairs working on the model again.”

“I’ll cheer him up!” Beetlejuice said. He clapped his hands together. “It’s hurt/comfort. Time to be goddamn comforted, Adam.”

“I’d give him a few hours.” Adam was a brooder. There was a certain point where he just wouldn’t engage.

Beetlejuice chuckled, patting her smarmily on the head. “Your boring, married-couple rules don’t apply to me, Babs. I’mma shake things up and heal his wounded heart. You can come up and watch, if you want. Watch me win.”

Barbara made herself laugh as she tried to ignore her jealousy. Beetlejuice was just being his usual low-grade dickish self, but what if he was right? Maybe Adam will respond better to Beetlejuice than to me. I didn’t expect Adam to be this sad, after all. What else have I missed? “If you succeed, feel free to come back and give me a play-by-play of your victory.”

Beetlejuice poofed away, and Barbara picked up the how-to guide to polyamory. It couldn’t help to get a refresher.

If Beetlejuice made Adam feel better, then that was a win for everyone. She could ask him how he’d done it and learn from him. The entire point of dating Beetlejuice was to break out of their old patterns and add a little excitement to their afterlives.

Barbara was lying down on their bed, reading the first chapter when Beetlejuice teleported back in.

“You mighta been right,” he grumbled.

“It’s almost like I’ve been dating him since I was 16.”

“Of course you were high school sweethearts. You two are so cliché, I blocked that out.” Beetlejuice floated closer, whining, “Sexy raised his voice to me, Barbara!”

Barbara set the book down. “Oh, I’m sorry, Bug.” That was the Adam equivalent of full-blown shouting. (Adam had shouted at Beetlejuice before, of course, but that was when Beetlejuice had been a villain.)

“Me! The favourite!”

Barbara raised her eyebrows. “Maybe you should read this chapter with me about egalitarian polyamorous relationships—and how terms like ‘favourite’ are toxic.”

Beetlejuice floated away from her. “Mmm, nope, too many things to do.”

She’d expected that. It wasn’t clear when Beetlejuice had died, but it was definitely before therapy and couple’s counselling had become more mainstream. He didn’t have the same ability to talk about and reflect on his and other’s feelings that Barbara and Adam had. Usually, he just reacted to his own. Barbara wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with Beetlejuice if she’d been unwilling to teach him.

“Lemme know when he’s ready to talk, okay?” the demon continued.

“Well, I don’t have a psychic link to him, but I’ll try…if you read this chapter with me.”

Beetlejuice crossed his arms over his chest, harrumphing. After a few moments, he shrugged, floated over to the bed, and curled up beside her.

If her eyes could water, they might have at the smell of rotting flesh. But Barbara quickly got used to the smell. “Let me guess—your clones poked around and didn’t find anything else interesting happening right now?”

“Ha! Busted! Delia, Lydia and Charles are still arguing about vaccines. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. Making out with you is way more fun.”

“We’re learning how to have a more equitable, communicative relationship. Not making out.”

“We’ll see, baby.”

They approached Adam later that afternoon.

He looked up from a figurine he was painting, expression guilty. “I’ll come down when it’s time for dinner, okay?” he said quietly. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Is there anything we can do for you now?” Barbara asked.

He looked between Barbara and Beetlejuice. His eyes were so haunted…. Barbara took a few steps forward.

“Adam?” she said softly.

“You said we weren’t ready,” he murmured roughly. “What if we would’ve been? We never even gave ourselves the chance….”

He showed her what he’d been working on: a little child figurine with her blonde hair. “There would’ve been part of you and me living now. Someone with your hair and my eyes, or your smile….”

Okay. We haven’t talked about the abortion in years, and now he’s making a model of what would have become our child. So, this is new. But I can handle this. I know him. I’ve got this.

Nevertheless, a tiny part of her really wanted to tag out and let Beetlejuice handle this one. Not that he would’ve done well—he was frozen except for his eyes, frantically flicking between her and Adam.

While Barbara thought of the most empathetic, respectful way to respond, Beetlejuice blurted out, “Someone’s got a case of the Shouldas.”

“Hmm?” Adam grunted, looking uninterested.

“You know, shoulda done this when I was alive. Shoulda done that. Every newlydead goes through it. Of course, usually they’re stuck in an endless void and not chilling in the living world with their sexy boyfriend.” Beetlejuice nodded to Barbara. “And your sexy wife.”

So he had learned something from that chapter they’d read together. Barbara gave him a small smile. “How do newlydeads usually get through it?” she asked.

“‘Get through’ is real optimistic, Babs. They just get crushed by overwhelming despair and hopelessness. It’s the Netherworld. Everything sucks there.”

Adam grunted again.

Beetlejuice rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I can’t really talk about ‘healing’ and shit….” He gestured frantically for Barbara to do something.

One thing about spending so much time with Beetlejuice was that you got used to out-of-the box thinking. It was time for a little experiment. Barbara didn’t give herself time to think, and dove right in.

“Congratulations, Maitlands.” She made air horn noises. The words ‘The Life We Never Had’ appeared in bright text above the model town. “Welcome to your life where you had your child!”

Adam and Beetlejuice both stared at her in stunned silence.

“This got so dark, so fast, but I kinda love it,” Beetlejuice commented.

“Well,” she said, “first of all, forget this house. We’d probably be living with your parents. They don’t even live in town.” She took a few moments to create a mental map, then gestured at the model. It grew larger, to the surrounding counties. Adam’s family farm was on the outskirts of this new map.

“And forget the CPA degree. No way we can afford that now. But your uncle Eddy has that plumbing business. He’d probably give you a job.” She manifested Eddy’s truck, making it drive through town. “I’d probably knit and sell things on Etsy…. Wait, it’s 2010. Does Etsy even exist?” Barbara couldn’t remember. “Or I’d sell them at the local farmer’s market. We probably still love our projects, even if we don’t have as much time for them now.”

Barbara could’ve gone darker. In this future, she would’ve been stuck in Adam’s parents’ home with no career prospects and a baby she wasn’t sure she wanted. If anything was a recipe for postpartum depression, that would’ve been. But she kept it light.

“Oh, jeez,” she realized, “I forgot all about names! What do you think of Aspen?” Barbara had always wanted a nature-themed name.

“It has the word ‘Ass’ in it,” Beetlejuice complained. “Do you want bullies to give your kid swirlies?”

“You’re not here, mister. You don’t get a say.”

“Hey, that’s right! We never meet if you don’t move into the house.” Beetlejuice frowned. “Truly, this is the darkest timeline.”

“What about River?” Adam said. “For our child.”

“River. That’s beautiful. Okay, so little River goes to school here.” She gestured to the school in town. “What do you think? Good grades?”

“Of course.”

“And then you guys commit crimes!” Beetlejuice interrupted.

Barbara raised her eyebrows.

“What? Boring people commit crimes all the time and become awesome. Weeds? Breaking Bad?”

“I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t.”

“Argh, fine, I was just getting bored of all this slice-of-life shit. Let’s spice things up!”

“Ooo, maybe we solve crimes? Like a cozy mystery set in rural Connecticut.”

“Committing them is way more fun, but I’ll take anything at this point. Your ideal lives are so boring! River’s gonna do meth just to feel alive!”

“They might fall in with a bad crowd in high school,” Barbara said.

“Thank you! A little conflict, please. It’s the essence of drama!”

“But we’d be there for them,” Adam said. “Hmm. Mom and Dad would still die, I suppose. I’d probably disappoint my Maitland ancestors and sell the farm.”

Barbara watched him intently. He wasn’t smiling, but he seemed a bit more engaged than he had been.

“We could move into one of the homes here,” she suggested, nodding to one of the small houses on the outside of town.

“That’s gonna really suck for you when the zombies attack,” Beetlejuice said.

Barbara kept making up their fake life, with Adam chiming in every now and then, both of them trying to ignore Beetlejuice’s input. They tried to give River a nice life, with a full-ride scholarship to NYU (which was, coincidentally, Lydia’s dream school), lots of friends, and a home that may not be full of money but was full of love.

Eventually, Adam smiled and shook his head. “Thanks for playing dolls with me, guys.”

Barbara hugged him from behind. “If you need time to mourn, take all the time you need. Beetlejuice and I are here for you.”

Adam wiped some tears from his eyes. “I think I do. Sorry, sweetie. Sometimes all the things we never got to do…they just hit me, hard. Even things I’d made peace with long ago. I spent so much of my life worrying….”

Barbara moved to stand beside him, kissing his cheek. If she could’ve made him feel warm, she would have.

Beetlejuice was spaced out, staring into the middle distance. Thinking of his own Shouldas, maybe? Nah. He never looks back unless he’s trapped in a traumatic memory about his mother. Probably wondering when we can make out again.

She nodded him over, and he blinked, coming back to the present. Hesitantly, he floated over and rested his chin on Adam’s head.

They were both still and silent, two things Beetlejuice hated, so it wasn’t surprising when a horde of centipedes skittered across the model, or a tiny King Kong grabbed a figurine and climbed up to the top of the town bell tower, roaring.

Lydia interrupted them when she she poked her head into the attic and told them dinner was ready. “And the leftovers will be stored in glass containers—if you leave us any leftovers, Beej. Delia cleared the cupboard of all plastics. Don’t worry about the baby, either. If Delia continues to believe tea tree oil can cure pneumonia or whatever, Dad and I will get the kid vaccinated when she’s not around.”

Barbara smiled at her chosen daughter. Beetlejuice was right; they weren’t stuck in the lonely void of the Netherworld. There was life and family just downstairs. “I’m glad. But I’m sure we’ll be able to convince her otherwise. We have nine months.”

“You’re more optimistic than I am, Barbara.”

Adam put the River figurine with the smattering of other children outside the grade school. “Let’s go,” he said quietly.

The three of them followed Lydia to the dinner table.

#beetlelandsweek2020 #beetlelands #goldenbeetle #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice #adam maitland #barbara maitland #beetlejuice x adam x barbara

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ranposlittle · 4 years

Note

Hii I'm a big fan of your writing(●♡∀♡)!!!! May I request a scenario with Kunikida which broke up with his S/O, and then he regrets about it plus his S/O hurt sm? Hope this won't bother you and thankss🤍🤍

Genre: SFW, Angst

Tags: Break up, I used the F-word once im sorry ;w;

A/N: Thank you for appreciating my writing, you anonymous bunny~ thank you for requesting this, too. I enjoyed writing this! Please listen to THIS SONG for maximum angst (stan day6) and I hope this will make you hurt inside, in a good way hehe enjoooy~ ٩(๑>◡<๑)۶

˚ * . ⊹ • ꒰꒱ • ⊹. * ˚

The office chair creaked beneath Kunikida's weight as he stretched his arms up after doing the day's work. His back feels heavy and his muscles sore from doing nothing but sitting and typing this week's report.

Putting his attention back to his computer and the afternoon sun reflecting on the screen, Kunikida squinted to check the time; he still have thirty minutes. While everybody else was rustling about and getting ready to head home, Kunikida decided to check his files and clean up some space on his drive. While doing so, he realized that he can't remember the last time he tidied up his files and quickly scolded himself for being so unorganized. With slender fingers, he clicked on every folders within folders, rummaging its contents and hitting the small button on his keyboard to delete the old items. With each unneeded gunk out of his system, he felt lighter as if his stress was being relieved along with his computer's storage.

Kunikida's eyes never left the screen even if his favorite eye-sore asked him if he's planning to sleep on his desk because he's too afraid to be late for tomorrow, in which he just replied with a deadpanned answer and demanded the man to leave him alone before he hangs him using the very same bandages covering the man's body.

Left in serene silence now, he was able to focus more on his work and in no time, he was almost done with it. The click of the mouse echoed in the empty office as Kunikida went on the folder for videos. He doesn't even know why he bothered since he knows for sure that he doesn't keep such things on his work computer but there it is; a file with a name composed of series of random numbers and letters stared at him from the opposite side of the screen. Kunikida's mind raced as to what the video might be and how it ended up on his computer in the first place. The pointer slowly made its way to the file, he clicked on it twice and the screen turned dark as the video player loaded its contents.

The ocean. The strong blows of wind muffled the sounds of the waves crashing into the shore and the birds cawing around. The camera panned throughout the entire beach, catching some people playing about under the hot sun. Kunikida's memory has started to piece together the beautiful scenery when suddenly, a voice in the video called out his name. The camera quickly turned to the source of the voice and when the lenses focused, his heart stopped. It's you. It's been so long since he has seen your face but yet, you still manage to steal his breath away with just your silhouette.

You waved cheerfully at the camera and he heard himself chuckle lowly. A bright smile plastered across your face as another wave rippled on your sandy feet. It's your first vacation. He remembered it now. He purchased the camera especially for this occasion.

"Aren't you going to swim?" You shouted at him, your face crinkled from the sun's harsh beam underneath your straw hat.

"Maybe later," his own voice boomed in reply. "It's still too hot, you'll get sunburned. Come sit here with me for a moment."

You ran towards him and the shade of the beach umbrella he was under. The sound of your giggles rang on the speakers of his monitor and clenched up on his chest. Your face moved closer to the camera and got out of frame, followed by a snappy sound. A kiss, he reckoned. He can actually almost feel the warmth of your lips as it closed in on his like you always do before and a jolt of pain stabbed in his chest. He wanted to look away, to pause the video and just delete it, but his fingers are frozen in place and his eyes are locked in on the scene in front of him as you moved back into frame with that sweet smile of yours that he fell for.

Kunikida kept on watching as the scene cut off to a view of the sunset. The sound shuffled as he flipped the camera to get the two of you in frame as you shared a kiss. In spite of the pain in his chest, he smiled as he recalled the memory of you.

He remembered how happy the both of you were this time. Even though Kunikida dreaded missing a day of work, he remembered being nothing but excited as he waited for the day of your vacation to come. He remembered how much his heart raced whenever he would see you, his mind clouded with the thought of wanting to be with you every second of the day. He remembered how much you loved him, how you would always whisper those sweet words to him in the most unexpected times, disturbing the butterflies in his stomach. He remembered all the times where he'll get out of the comforting warmth of the bed when you share a night together as he starts a new day. How you, despite being barely out of your dream state, would always wake up before he heads to the door to remind him once more of your love for him and wishes him to enjoy the day ahead. He remembered how those words being the only thing that got him through the day alright no matter what challenge he has to face. He felt like an idiot. An idiot for not saying those words back enough, for not appreciating how good you were to him, for breaking your heart.

Kunikida smashed the space bar, pausing the video to the image of the two of you embracing. His fists balled up as the ache in his heart grew and droplets of tears trickled down his cheeks. Kunikida cursed quietly, wiping the unwanted tears away and looked up to his screen once again. Why? Why is he hurting this way? He's the one who broke up with you. So, why?

He remember that time, too. He entered the room with a heavy heart but he has made up his mind about it. He's been thinking about breaking it up to you for weeks now and he figured that it's time to just face the fact that he's no longer in love with you. He remembered the look on your face when you've processed his words. The tears, the pleading, the quiet sobs– he remember it all.

"Stay," you repeatedly asked him as if you're praying to a deity for a miracle. But he didn't hear you. His foot stepped in front of the other without hesitation as he walked out of your room and your life. Admittedly, he was hurting back then, too. He did had some nights of crying himself to sleep but he knew that it's what was needed to be done.

Kunikida exited the video, shut down his computer and stood up from his chair. It's just a memory, he thought to himself, just an old memory romanticized by nostalgia. He'll get over it once he occupied himself with other important things, he convinced himself.

But by the next few days, he's still thinking about you. He's distracted everyday as the prickling pain on his chest never left him, no matter how much he drowns himself in his work. He was feeling more frustrated everyday as his mind nagged him to see you, to talk to you. He knew it'll probably make things worse but he couldn't think of any other way to settle his feelings. So, here he is, on the corner of Cafe Uzumaki, away from prying eyes and invasive ears. His cellphone on one shaky hand as he hesitantly call you. His thumb moved swiftly across the number pad, his muscles remembering the pattern with all the times he dialed the same set of numbers to hear your voice on the other line. Kunikida gulped thickly as he once again argued with his own logic. He clicked his tongue in defeat and pressed the call button.

He heard the first ring. Then, the second. You usually pick up around the fifth ring so he waited. Third ring. Does he really want to—

"Hello?"

Kunikida's heart beat painfully loud on his chest and his mind panicked upon hearing the familiarity of your voice. His hand shook harder and his throat tightened up as he felt so nervous, he could throw up.

"Hello? Who is this?" You asked once again.

With a couple puffs of shallow breath, Kunikida raised his phone up to his ear and forced his own voice out of his dry throat.

"H-Hi," he said timidly. "It's me. It's... Kunikida."

Footfall echoes as people come and go in Cafe Uzumaki, Kunikida's slim finger rubbed at the porcelain handle of his cup. His coffee has gone cold and his thoughts are too occupied with things to say and imaginary scenarios of how this meeting will go to demand for a refill. He was in the middle of another imaginary conversation with you when a voice softly called out his name.

"Kunikida-kun?" It sounded too real to just be in his head this time.

He caught a glimpse of someone standing in front of him through his peripheral and his emerald eyes slowly lifted up from your frame, stopping at the sight of your smiling face. You're beautiful. You always have been. He keep trying to forget but you're just as beautiful as the day he first loved you.

When he didn't said anything and just stared at you, you took it upon yourself to sit yourself down across from him on the booth. A kimono-clad lady came by shortly, asking for your order. Mocha latte, you said politely. A drink you've always been fond of, just like before, Kunikida thought.

"So," you said coldly, breaking off the silence, "are you just going to stare at me or what?"

His face contorted into a mixture of shock and a concerned frown. Of course you're still angry at him, what was he even expecting? That you'll just run towards him and wrap him in a tight embrace like he didn't shattered your trust and crushed your heart?

Then all of a sudden, you brightly laughed at him. "I was just kidding, Kunikida-kun. You're always so easy to tease."

He stuttered in surprise, weren't you mad at him? Through his disbelief, Kunikida's face soften as he continue to stare at your giggling form. A small smile made its way to his lips as he feel warm inside. He have always had a weak spot for your smile and laughter. Just seeing you happy like this made him forget that things are different now.

"It's been, what," you mused after calming down from your jesting, "two years since we've seen each other? I feel so old now."

The waitress came back with your order in hand and you bowed politely in gratitude. You mirrored Kunikida's earlier actions as you fiddled with the handle of your cup, took a few sips of your drink and waited for him to return the conversation.

"I'm sorry for making you come here. I just, uh, I saw our old video. Our first vacation. Do you remember that?" Kunikida finally said, eyes falling back down on his cold coffee. It's been so long since he has to say his feelings out loud, it feels suffocating and liberating at the same time.

"It was on my computer. I don't even remember how it got there but," he continued, not really waiting for your answer as he unravel his thoughts. "I just can't stop thinking about you since then. About us."

A gloomy cloud descended on your booth as you realized Kunikida's sentiment. The atmosphere around you began to feel heavy, nostalgic and sad. You said nothing but your heart ached inside your ribcages as flashes of memories– the good and the bad– played in your head like a movie.

"I think I made a mistake, (Y/N)." Kunikida said in almost a whisper, "I made a mistake."

"Kunikida-kun, I—"

"I want you back, (Y/N). I want us back. We were happy, you know? We were so happy together and we had it all. You loved me more than anyone ever did and I— I threw it all away. I don't even know why I just had to fuck it all up." Kunikida groaned and buried his face on one hand as he tried to conceal the tears that his eyes can't hold back anymore. He cursed under his breath as he failed to compose himself despite feeling like an absolute fool for crying in front of you like this. But he just can't stop. His chest felt like it's going to burst from all the emotions he was repressing. He just can't stop his heart from hurting, no matter what his logical brain is telling him.

You let him crumble down in front of you. To say that you were heartbroken when he left you is an understatement but you never harbored any ill will towards Kunikida. You took no pleasure in hearing his regretful words and watching him hurt like this. You knew that the both of you are just victims of the circumstances; victims of fate and wrong timings. Neither one of you is at fault. It just wasn't meant to be.

"Listen, Kunikida-kun," you took his free hand and held it firmly on both of yours. "You are one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. You are one of the greatest men I've ever met. You're right, we were so happy back then and sometimes, I still wonder if I can ever have that again."

Kunikida looked up at you, the tightness in his chest still making it hard for him to breath. His eyes are swollen and the tears still wouldn't stop from dropping down his face but the feeling of your hand on his is such a comforting feeling. For a brief moment, he remembered how you used to hold him like this when he's upset, your loving voice calming him down from any nightmares and just you staying by his side until he was alright is his remedy for any traumatic experience he obtained from saving lives. How amazing it is that you still have that effect on him after all this time.

"But what happened to us also taught me a great lesson about life, and love, and about myself. I could say that I'm a better person now because of that experience. I regret nothing, Kunikida-kun. I don't want you to, as well. Don't think of me and feel regrets about the what-if and the what-could've-been. I want you to feel happy. Be happy that it happened," you continued and Kunikida's eyes flickered as more tears came down. "We got to experience something that other people would spend their whole lives seeking. We got to share something so special that we will carry it with us through the rest of our lives. I'm glad, you know. I'm just really glad that I get to do that with you. I'm glad that it was you, Kunikida-kun."

Your voice broke off as you say his name, tears of unknown reason started to run down your face as well in spite of the kind smile you have. Kunikida's eyes widen for a second, understanding what your wise words mean. It means he's not getting you back. It means his chance had passed and no matter what he does, he knows that things will just stay the way they are. No amount of apology or regret will bring you both back at the time where your love for each other is as bright as the sun that was shining on that one vacation day.

His jaw clenched as another stabbing pain jolted on his chest. "I understand," he said and managing to muster a smile. "I understand," he repeated although it was more to himself this time.

"Thank you for calling me," you said, rubbing your thumbs against his skin. "I'm really happy to see you again. I'm glad we got to talk."

"Yeah. Me too," Kunikida gave you a half-hearted smile. He wanted to say more but there's nothing he can say to change what's already on your mind. He just have to accept it. If there's anything that he can do for you right now, it's to let you be happy even if that doesn't include him.

"Anyway, I've got to go," you said, patting his hand gently before letting go. You stood up from your chair, left some money for your drink on the table and slinged your bag on your shoulder. "Take care, Kunikida-kun."

His eyes met yours one last time, an expression of a certain kind of fondness can be seen on both of your eyes. A silent agreement was made in that moment as you lingered on his presence; an agreement to part but to still cherish the other deep in your hearts for as long as you live. Kunikida stood up from his seat, gingerly walked towards you and gave you a hug.

"Thank you," he whispered softly. You placed a hand on his back and returned his embrace, rubbing it in comfort.

Kunikida loosened his arms around you and let you go. He let you go as he also freed himself from you. He watched as you smiled, turned around and walked away. He envisioned himself that one night, when he turned and walked away from you too despite your cries for him to stay with you. Kunikida can't help but scoffed at the irony of it all.

He sat back down when you disappeared out of the door. He doesn't know if he'll ever have the courage to heal from all this and call to see you again without hurting anymore. He looked outside at the evening sky, his surroundings looked different as hues of purple and pink tinted the whole city. Kunikida exhaled, thanking that he can see the big picture now, it's just a shame that he had to move so far back to the point that he can't go back just to see how perfect it was.

#kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #bsd kunikida #kunikida x reader #bungou stray dogs kunikida #bsd scenarios #bsd headcanons #bsd hcs #bsd imagines #bsd anime #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungo sd #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs imagine #bungou stray dogs scenarios #bsd #kunikidamw

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thominho-incorrectquotes · 4 years

Text

Wings

This is my entry for Thominho Week 2020, Day 2 “Wingfic”

Characters: Thomas x Minho

3654 words

Tags: Wingfic, soulmate AU, modern Au, light angst with fluff at the end

Summary: As he looked at the freshmen gathering up, one young man caught his eyes. He was smaller than the others, had messy brown hair that still looked perfect and eyes that shined in the sun. Minho didn’t know what it was, but something was weird about that boy, as if he didn’t belonged there. Or anywhere in the world actually. It was as if someone like him couldn’t exist.

You can also read it on AO3 and ff.net

Today was the tryouts. As the captain of the track team, or Keeper as they called it, Minho was ready before anyone else. This gave him time to analyze the freshmen aligned on the track field. In few minutes, all of them were going to compete to get into the team.

Some looked confident, maybe even overconfident. Minho snickered. They had no idea how hard it was to make the team. This team was one of the best of the country.

As he looked at the freshmen gathering up, one young man caught his eyes. He was smaller than the others, had messy brown hair that still looked perfect and eyes that shined in the sun. Minho didn’t know what it was, but something was weird about that boy, as if he didn’t belonged there. Or anywhere in the world actually. It was as if someone like him couldn’t exist. It was such a strange feeling and he wasn’t sure if he liked it.

As the brunet was looking around, as if unsure of himself, he locked eyes with Minho. What happened next was inexplicable. The two young men froze, almost comically. The Asian felt a strange feeling in is stomach and he immediately hated it. Something was definitely weird about that kid and Minho was sure it wasn’t good. He hoped that the strange boy wouldn’t make the team.

Jorge, the coach, soon announced the start of the tryouts, offering the Keeper a break from the gaze of the brunet. He went to sit next to his blond friend whose wings were flapping in excitement.

“What’s up with you Isaac” he snorted.

“Aren’t you excited to have new Greenies on the team?” Newt replied.

“Not really. Look at them” Minho said while doing his best not to look at the brown-haired kid “They all look like dumb shanks.”

“Don’t be hard on them yet Min” he smiled “You’ll have plenty of time to do that. And who knows, you might end up liking them and finally make other friends than me and Alby.”

“Yeah, not gonna happen.”

------

Minho couldn’t believe it. The brunet, whose name was Thomas he learned, had almost broke his record. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be real.

But here he was, being congratulated by Jorge and the others. Because the kid, of course, fucking made the team.

To say the Keeper was furious was an understatement. His record was his pride. He went every day on the field to be the best. He trained so hard for it. It was an insult to see a freshman almost beat his record so easily.

As everyone was around Thomas, clapping on his back, happy for him, Minho approached him for the first time. As the captain, he was still supposed to congratulate him, even if he didn’t want to.

Once in front of the younger man, he held out his hand for Thomas to shake. The brunet had his eyes wide in astonishment, but took the hand hesitantly, unsure if it was really what he was supposed to do considering the hard look the Asian was giving him. Minho felt a strange spark once their hands touched, but he decided to ignore it.

“That wasn’t bad Greenie” he said. But before he could stop himself, he added “But that was beginner’s luck.”

Thomas took back his hand immediately. “I’m not a beginner” he replied dryly, offended.

“Listen shuck-face” the Keeper started. Everyone around was quiet and Jorge seemed ready to intervene. “You’re new here okay. You don’t know how it works and how difficult it is to train every day in order to make it to the finish line when you have to compete against the best one of the country. So that, my friend,” he pointed at Thomas’s score “was beginner’s luck. And I preferred telling you that right away, I’m doing you a favor.”

Minho was being an ass and he knew it. But he just couldn’t help it. He was furious.

“A favor huh?” All the shyness the boy showed before was now gone. “Just say that you’re afraid of losing, asshole”.

“What did you call me?” Minho yelled back, furious and ready to punch the newbie in the face. However, Newt and Alby saw it coming and went to stop him before he could do something. As he was pushed back by his friends, he added “You think you’re so great shuck-face? You don’t even stand a chance against me!”

“Oh yeah, wanna bet asshole?”

“Okay that’s it, stop it you two” Jorge intervened “I’ll let it pass this time but if you two start that kind of behavior again, I’ll have to kick you out of the team. And yes, you too Minho”.

“Yeah, whatever” the later said, leaving the group to go towards the changing room, not wanting to deal with anyone.

However, Newt came along. Obviously.

“Bloody hell Minho, what was that?” he shouted once they entered the empty room.

“Leave me alone.”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong with you.” The Asian turned to face his friend, a threatening glare in his eyes. The blond was however not intimidated. He knew Minho for too long.

“I don’t like that guy” he admitted, heaving out a frustrated sigh.

“What? Just because he’s almost as good as you?”

“No, of course not! H-He just… I don’t know!” the Keeper try to explain “He’s weird a-and… I don’t know man! There is something off about him!”

“What the hell are you talking about, Tommy is not weird.”

“A nickname already?” Minho snorted. He really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. “Listen Newt, leave me alone, okay? Go see your boyfriend of something.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that, because you’re a fucking twat right now.”

With that, the British left the changing room, leaving Minho with his thoughts. He really didn’t understand why that Thomas boy was driving him crazy like that. He just wished he wouldn’t have to deal with that shuck-face too much.

--------

The next morning, Minho woke up in his dorm room, a strange feeling in his guts. As he got out of bed, he noticed the extreme soreness in his back. Panic immediately invaded is whole body.

No, it couldn’t be…

He turned his head to see if his assumptions were right, praying he was wrong. Unfortunately, on his naked back proudly stood his wings.

“No, no, no, no, no!!! Fuck!!!” he screamed. It couldn’t be real. He had to be dreaming. He ran to the bathroom, wanting a better view of the things on his back.

Indeed, two brown and black wings were there, real and annoyingly beautiful beside the fact that they were totally unwanted.

“Fuck!”

It was really the worst thing that could happen. Having to deal with school, the track team and life in general was already hard as it is, adding a soulmate in the addition was really something Minho didn’t want. But still, there he was. Newt and Alby were doing great with this whole soulmate thing, but they met each other a long time ago, it was different…

He knew that it would happen one day, but he still hoped it wouldn’t because he didn’t believe that soulmates were such a big deal. He didn’t even really like the fact that everybody was meant to have a strong bond with another person and the day after they met for the first time, they’ll get matching wings. In fact, he hated it. And he already hated his soulmate, even if he still didn’t know who it was.

He observed his reflection for a while, wanting to cry from frustration. It was honestly the worst.

After taking few minutes to compose himself, he finally started getting ready for the day. He had a meeting with the track team to brief the newbies. He took the shirt his mom made sure he kept for this day. It had holes in them, for the wings.

Shit.

Once ready, he went directly to the track field, trying not to snap at anyone who looked at him and his wings. Why was it such a big deal for everyone?

Once there, he first saw Alby. His friend had his eyes wide in shock.

“No…” he snickered “don’t tell me it finally happened.”

“Slim it.”

“But still” his friend continued, trying but failing at hiding his grin. “Newt and I really thought that you were an unfortunate soul who was meant to be alone.”

“Well, I wished.” Minho replied dryly.

“Don’t be like that, it’s actually not that bad.”

“What’s not bad?” and British accent voice asked. “Oh shit!” Newt added when he saw the Asian. “No, for real?!” The blonde sounded so excited which only annoyed the Keeper even more.

“Slim it Isaac.”

His friend was about to reply back when he stopped in his track and widen is eyes in shock at something behind Minho.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it!” he laughed, which confused both boys.

As Alby and Minho turned around, what they saw made Minho’s heart stop.

On the entrance of the track field, there was Thomas.

With fucking brown and black wings.

With patterns identical to Minho’s.

He wanted to die, right now.

“No, no, no, this can’t be real!” the raven-haired boy screamed. He ran up to the younger one who had stopped in shock when he saw the Asian. Alby and Newt followed him, laughing their asses off which only made Minho angrier.

“Y-you’re… you’re my soulmate?” Thomas stuttered.

“Yeah no shit Sherlock” the Keeper replied as he pushed the boy around to have a better look at his wings, ignoring the protests of the brunet. He searched everywhere to find a pattern, something, that was not the same on his wings, but to no avail.

“This is the funniest thing ever” Newt burst out laughing as he reach the two newfound soulmates.

“It is not funny” Minho argued. “It’s the worst thing ever.”

“Oh because having me as a soulmate is bad?” Thomas replied, offended. He turned back to face the older man only to find him glaring at him.

“Yes, it is.” Minho didn’t even tried to be considerate. He didn’t care that he was mean. Anger crept in his whole body and he was using all the self-control he had right now not to do something he’ll regret later. He barely noticed the sadness in the brunet’s eyes.

“Okay guys” Alby intervened “I know it’s new for both of you, but let time do its thing. You started on the wrong path, but it’ll get better, I assure you.”

“Yeah, no chance” the Asian spat before walking away, this time noticing the hurt in Thomas’s eyes. But he still didn’t care.

“Just don’t talk to me Greenie, and we should be fine.”

----

Turned out, Minho wasn’t fine.

Every day was a challenge. In order to avoid comments about his wings, the Keeper did his best to hide them. He wore the biggest hoodie he owned, concealing the bond he had with a certain brown-haired boy. The weather was getting colder, which fortunately allowed him to do so.

However, his back was getting sore from constraining his wings so much. His feathers were also in bad shapes and every move he made was hurting him. He did his best to ignore it.

He also did his best to ignore his soulmate on the track field. Said soulmate who kept showing off his wings, which only annoyed Minho even more. But as the days passed, he got curious and started steeling glances from time to time.

And Thomas, every time he made eye contact with the older man, had a sad look on his face. He never tried to hide it.

Guilt started creeping up in Minho’s stomach. The boy didn’t deserve that. But he couldn’t help it. This soulmate thing wasn’t for him.

Few weeks passed by, and every day, Newt nagged his friend to stop being a dumb shank and to just go talk to Thomas. Or at least stop wearing his black hoodie. But Minho was stubborn. And he knew it wouldn’t change anything.

He still looked at the shuck-face, as he called him, during track practice. He tried to be professional and not think about the supposed link between them. As he had asked, the newbie never talked to him. But he started making friend. The Asian saw him hanging out with Frypan once. Even Newt took a liking to the boy.

Minho now watched him every time he could. The boy showed empathy, kindness and even courage, as he once stood up against Gally. Okay, maybe Thomas wasn’t that bad. In fact, every time he saw the Greenie laughing with someone, or even just smiling, he felt his heart aching. Aching for something he knew he would never have.

He was starting to like Thomas. He was shucked.

-----

It was another day at practice. Minho had troubles keeping up with the rest of the team because of his back. It was just hurting so much. He told Jorge he wasn’t feeling well and went to the changing room.

Once alone, he took off his hoodie and his shirt and painfully stretched his wings, relieving some soreness.

“You’re so dumb.”

Minho turned to the voice in panic only to see the only person he didn’t want around. Thomas.

“Leave” he said coldly.

“No, I’m not leaving” the boy replied as he sit on the bench behind Minho and started brushing his feathers back in place. “I can’t do it anymore.”

“You can’t do what anymore? Run?” he asked, sarcasm in his voice. But he didn’t stop Thomas’s caresses.

“Seeing you hurting yourself.”

The brunet started massaging the Asian’s shoulders. It immediately made him feel better. He did his best to not make any sound. He was sure he was going to moan if he didn’t control himself. Thomas’s hands were so warm…

“You’re really dumb.”

“Would you stop saying that?”

“I’ve been watching you, you know” the boy continued, ignoring the last statement. “I’ve seen how you look at me. You’re hurting as much as I am from staying away from me.”

“I…”

“No, shut up.” Thomas continued massaging the Keeper’s back, this time going for his shoulder blades, where the wings were. “I’m tired of acting like it doesn’t bother me.”

Minho felt so bad right now. He haven’t considered his soulmate’s feelings into this. He felt his heart squeeze in pain.

“I was really looking forward to meet my soulmate you know” Thomas started, his voice softer than before. “All my life, I’ve been alone. I have my cousin, Teresa, and of course my little brother, Chuck… but it’s not the same. I never really had close friends. I was rejected so many times, and betrayed too. I always felt alone, like I didn’t belong…”

He stopped, to compose himself. Minho didn’t have to look to know he was crying.

“I felt like a fucking alien” he continued after a while. “So I was hoping that once I’ll met my soulmate, I’ll finally have someone that would understand me. With who I’ll be able to be myself. I…”

Minho heard the other man sniff and felt a tears rolling on his cheek. He did this. He hurt this beautiful boy. He didn’t understand. Where all those feelings were coming from? When did he started caring for Thomas? When did he started wanting to protect him, to make sure he is happy and safe? It was so confusing. Maybe he was losing his mind.

“I-I’m… I’m so sorry”. He knew it wasn’t enough. He ruined his chances.

“I just don’t want to be alone.”

Minho turned to face the boy, making him stop what he was doing. The older made the only thing he could do. He hugged him.

And all of a sudden, everything made sense. As they both nuzzled into each other, surrendering themselves into the embrace, Minho knew. He knew that he couldn’t fight it anymore. It was so right. So perfect. He never wanted to let the boy go. He wanted him by his side, forever.

“I’m so sorry” he repeated, his voice muffled by the brunet’s neck. “You’re right, I’m so dumb.”

“Sure you are” he chuckled.

They stayed like that, in silence, for what felt like hours before Minho softly released the boy in his arms to take his face in his hands, wiping the tears on his cheeks.

“I’m really sorry Thomas. I really was an asshole.”

“Yeah” he said with a sad smile. “Mind telling me why you acted like that? Is it really because I almost broke your record?”

“Who told you about my record?” he asked, still caressing his soulmate’s face.

“Newt.”

“That shank…”

“Don’t blame him” Thomas gently scolded him, “I was trying to understand why you hated me.”

“I didn’t hate you… I-I…” Explaining this was hard. Expressing his emotions has always been hard for Minho. “When I first saw you… I had this like, strange feeling? I don’t know why, but it made me nervous… I didn’t know what it was and I didn’t like it…”

The brunet listened to him, staring deep into his eyes. It was almost intimidating, as if Thomas was reading his mind, but he found himself hypnotized by the hazel eyes. The more he looked at him, the more Minho found his soulmate absolutely beautiful.

“And yeah, I was a bit mad about that record thing” he admitted. “I’ve always been the best, I guess my ego was hurt at that moment and I took it on you. I’m sorry.”

Thomas made a small smile and went to caress the raven hair. “It’s okay.”

“But then, the next morning…” he continued while enjoying the warmth of the hand on his head, “I woke up with those things in my back. Unlike you, I never wanted a soulmate. I never really was one to trust people. Newt and Alby, they are different… but even then, I don’t tell them everything and it took me a long time to trust them just a bit…”

“Why don’t you trust people?”

“Mostly because people never really liked me I guess. I’m sarcastic, hot tempered… and Korean. Let’s just say racism is something I often faced.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Minho smiled sadly.

“But I guess what turned me off of soulmates were my parents. They are soulmates. They met back in Seoul, but moved here after some years.”

“What happened?”

Minho liked the tone of Thomas’s voice. It was soft and really showed interest and concern. For the first time of his life, Minho felt like someone really cared for him. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, having a soulmate…

“They broke up when I was 4” he answered after taking a deep breath. “They realized they didn’t love each other like that. I was really shocked. At that time, I thought that soulmates were meant to be together forever. It hurt me, seeing my parents separated. They still hang out together, and they are close friend, but…”

“I understand” Thomas said. “But you do know that not every soulmates are meant to be romantic partners, right? Some are even siblings.”

“Yes I know. But you know, I was young, it marked me and made me think that… this whole soulmate thing wasn’t really serious.”

“Yeah… I understand.”

Thomas didn’t know what to say beyond that, so he just went back into the embrace, trying not to think too much about how Minho was still shirtless and how his naked tan skin felt so smooth and so good.

“I think there is also another reason” the Asian said after few minutes of silence where he just enjoyed the other’s presence and warm body.

“And what is it?” Thomas asked.

Minho took a deep breath. He had to say it.

“I think I have feelings for you…”

“Oh” Thomas grinned. “And what kind of feelings?”

“Romantic… and sexual.” Minho blushed. “And that has never happened. I never had those feelings for someone.”

The boy smirked. “I’m flattered” he said while putting his forehead on his soulmate’s. Their noses were touching and they could feel each other’s breath on their faces. “And happy, because I might have the same feelings for you…”

At that moment, Minho knew he was done for. He loved that young man. This beautiful human being. He was in love. It was scary, but at the same time, he never felt better.

“Would you…” he hesitated. “Would you mind if I kissed you?”

Their lips were almost touching now. It was so tempting. This closeness was driving him crazy.

“You want to kiss me?” Thomas was teasing him, but Minho didn’t mind. He deserved it.

“Yes. I really want to kiss you. Please.”

“Well…” the brunet replied, playfully, “I guess I wouldn’t mind then.”

Minho smiled and immediately put his lips on Thomas’s. A wave of newfound sensations traveled his whole body. He gripped the other’s shirt, afraid of drowning in all those feelings. Thomas’s lips were soft and warm, and the boy responded perfectly to the kiss.

When he deepened the kiss, he knew we would never have enough of this man. It was just so perfect, so meant to be. Thomas was running his hands through the raven hair and putting as much passion into the kiss as he could. Minho could only go with the flow and try to express everything he wanted to, pressing the brunet’s body against his.

They parted to breath, but were unable to open their eyes yet. It was just too much. They wanted to relish this moment, to relish those feelings they had for each other.

“Does this mean I can claim you as my boyfriend?” Thomas playfully asked after his breathing was back to normal.

“Yes” Minho answered. “I’m yours.”

----------------------------------------

Writing angst is really not easy for me hahaha But it's the point of those challenges, to try different things.

I hope you liked it! Stay tuned for the next fic!

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msjr0119 · 4 years

Text

A Second Chance

Part 1

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Drake x Riley (present tense), Liam x Riley (Past tense), Drake x Hana (Past tense)

*Majority of characters belong to Pixelberry*

Song inspiration: Let it be - The Beatles

Warnings: Do not read if you are under the age of 18. If you do you are consenting that you are over this age. If any of the trigger warnings affect you do not continue to read; adult language, suicide attempt (mentioned - past tense), miscarriage (mentioned - past tense), domestic abuse (mentioned - past tense), stabbing (mentioned - past tense), slight smut, grief.

Word Count: +4000 (long post)

Tags- if you want to be removed let me know: @pedudley @kacie-0156 @ladyangel70 @annekebbphotography @yukinagato2012 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @kimmiedoo5 @bascmve01 @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @lodberg @cmestrella @axwalker @hopefulmoonobject @rafasgirl23415 @walker7519 @drakewalker04

Catch up with the Prologue here.

******

Riley hung up after leaving her message, scrutinising the room her heart felt empty. There were good memories of being back at Ramsford; her first date with Liam, but also the first kiss with Drake in the study. The two men who she loved with all her heart at that moment in time. Knowing that one of these men was still available in her life, she couldn’t shake off the fact the one who she had chosen to spend the rest of her life with wasn’t here anymore. She couldn’t wrap herself up in Liam’s clothes or hold on to her wedding photo close to her heart. Wishing that she didn’t give in so easily to Maxwell persuading for her to stay. Sobbing in to the pillows, she hoped that she would be able to sleep without her comforts. One day, the fact that Liam wasn’t here physically would sink in- however he was still there mentally. Always in her heart.

****

Drake tossed and turned in bed, Savannah knocked on the door interrupting him. Who needs sleep anyway? He thought to himself. These last few months she had become distant with him- not wanting to. Not purposely. Every opportunity she had to talk to him, she seemed to put her ‘foot in it’.

“Hey. Can I come in?” Standing in his boxers with a whiskey in his hand- he gestured for her to enter. “I’m sorry Bertrand and Bartie couldn’t be here to celebrate with you, I know FaceTime isn’t the same. They are on a flight now back.”

“It’s fine.” Knowing her brother wasn’t exactly in the mood- she wasn’t sure what to say.

“It was great that Riley showed up. People noticed that you were both close on the balcony.”

“We’ve always been close. It was nice to talk to her. I know what it’s like to hide away.” Savannah nodded remaining silent. She liked Riley as a friend, but even after all these years she was still pissed off that Riley had miscarried and never informed Drake immediately especially as he was the father.

“I’m going to go, I just wanted to check in on you. Liv explained how all of the kids all saw the two of you. Do you still love her?” Drake knew for a fact that she was possibly asking through the greatness of her heart- but he knew the main reason. Gossip.

“I was comforting her Sav. I love her, I always have done as a friend. After everything, Hana was- is my true love.”

“Drake... you’re close friends. Maybe you are what she needs to gain some closure on Liam. I love you.”

A few weeks after Hana’s death, he came out of his hovel. Knowing that he had to face reality at some point. Keeping himself busy helped somewhat- the minute he wasn’t busy doing something, he would think about who he had lost. At times he would look at Jackson, attempting to be strong for the two of them. Just looking at him reminded him of Hana, his wife, his child’s mother- certain facial expressions he pulled was like looking at Hana. Feeling like for those few weeks he had failed Jackson, he was relieved with the support that he had received. Hana would never be erased from his mind, she would always be in his heart and memories. Now was the time to support Riley along with everybody else.

****

The morning after the party, Maxwell broke and entered into Riley’s room- still feeling slightly drunk his brain wasn’t functioning correctly. Jumping on to the bed- she was soon awake.

“Morning, Blossom!” Sounding like a foghorn, she soon remembered how he was the human alarm clock.

“Fuck off!” Attempting to pull the duvet over her face, she wished for sure that she had just gone home to Valtoria or to the palace.

“That’s no way to speak to your bestie... your bestie who you’ve hardly spoken to in months I might add.” Snuggling into bed next to her, he placed his arm around her shoulder.

“I’m sorry. But seriously, Max? It’s seven o’clock!” Stretching her arms, she then rubbed her eyes. They were puffed up as she had been crying all night- or rather in the early hours of the morning.

“How about we go and mess the kitchen up? Give Bertrand a fright when he arrives home?”

“You are unbelievable...”

“I’m the fun Lord remember...”

“Not at this time in the morning your not.”

“Stab me in the heart why don’t you? Come on, get that stubborn ass out of bed!”

****

“Mom? Uncle Max?” Ayah, Louis and Ellie walked into the kitchen questioning the antics that they had witnessed in unison. Everybody else soon joined the crowd- all stood in a semi circle, with their jaws agape.

“Are you both drunk?” Olivia snapped, nearly slipping on oil that was surrounding the floor along with flour.

“Only a teeny bit drunk.” Maxwell responded as Riley bit her lip and turned a bright shade of red.

“Bertrand’s going to kill you both.” Drake sniggered to himself. “Come join us everyoneeee. Remember my brother isn’t here. Yet....”

Drake made his way over to Riley, who was covered in flour and chocolate spread.

“Hey, you. If getting drunk and making food makes you smile- you should have come to me instead of Maxwell.”

“Hey, marshmallow.” Playfully she flicked the spoon with chocolate still lingering on it- her aim was perfect as it landed straight onto his face. “Oops! We just need some graham crackers, then you’ll actually be impersonating a marshmallow or should I say s’mores?” Reaching up, she wiped the chocolate off his cheek with her thumb. “I’m only a marshmallow to you, Brooks. Or agent grumpy.” Her hand lingered on his cheek, as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

“What on earth has happened in here?” The whole household jumped in response to Bertrand’s bellowing voice- apart from Maxwell, who didn’t really give two shits about what Bertrand would think.

“Welcome home, Bro!”

“Maxwell!”

“It was Riley. It was all her fault.”

“Would I suggest to do this? Really, Max?”

“Maxwell tidy up now! Your Majesty, your hignesses.” Bertrand bowed, before scrutinising the kitchen- knowing that if he was home on time this would have never happened.

“But.... but....”

“Maxwell grow up! I want it clean before I come back down...” Riley pulled her tongue out towards the Lord before making her way over to her children. Feeling immature doing this, she couldn’t help herself, Maxwell winked at her then provided her with a goofy smile.

“Are you three ready to go to Valtoria?”

“Erm....” Ellie bit her lip, not knowing how to inform their Mom that they had made their own plans. Since their father had passed away, they had tried to include their Mom in plans but she politely refused. Explaining that she had plenty of work to do.

“Erm?” Questioning her youngest child, she raised her eyebrows up towards her.

“We are actually going to the cabin tonight. To allow Louis to have a few relaxing days before becoming King.”

“Are you? Says who?” Drake queried as he joined the group, fully unaware that his house was going to be used like a fraternity house.

“Uncle Drake, Jackson said it would be fine.”

“I’m joking. You’re all welcome. Anytime. Unless you had something planned Brooks?”

“No, I didn’t have anything specifically planned. I’m busy with preparations anyway. I think you should all ask Uncle Drake before inviting yourselves next time. Make sure that you’re all back Wednesday at the lastest. Ring me every day, each and every one of you. I love you all.” Watching her walk away, he knew it was a good opportunity to let her hair down again. As she tidied the side up- she felt some arms go around her waist. Recognising his cologne as well as his touch, she gasped not expecting him to do this. Taking a deep breath, she allowed his hands to remain where they were as her heart fluttered.

“When I said you’re all welcome....That included you too. You need a break as well.” Hesitating, she wanted to say yes of course she did. But she still wasn’t confident leaving her ‘comfort zones’. Her lips opened to speak as she turned to face him- however another voice broke out.

“Welcome where? I need a break!”

“I think you’ll be grounded Max, if you don’t tidy up pronto.” Letting out a little laugh, she hoped that this would be the end of the conversation.

“Maxwell you can come, but only if Brooks does. I’m already babysitting four kids. I don’t need a child who is trapped in a middle aged mans body added to the list as well.”

“Please Riley. Please. Please. Please.......” As Maxwell continued to act like a child jumping up and down, Drake rolled his eyes back- attempting to figure out what could tempt her in coming.

“You can do the preparations in my office. Go back to the palace get your things, I’ll pick you up. Just let me know if you want to come.” Smiling at the two men, she pulled them into her embrace- kissing them both on the cheek. “I’ll let you know, Drake. Thank you. I better get going, I actually have a meeting.”

“What about me? Are you going to pick me up too, bestie?”

“Don’t ever call me that again, Beaumont. You can walk.”

****

Drake picked up Maxwell from Ramsford later on in the day. Maxwell scrutinised the truck hoping that Riley was in there, hiding- ready to surprise him. Drake was praying that Max had heard from Riley as he hadn’t. He wasn’t expecting her to come, but deep down he had wished that she would have the confidence to come out of her shell more.

“Maybe she was just trying yesterday because it was your birthday? Maybe the kids could convince her to come?”

“Max, when I left them- they couldn’t even remember each other’s names.”

****

Arriving at the cabin, the youngsters were cooking some food. Knowing that Jackson was capable with doing this without parental guidance, Drake decided this would be a perfect time to slip away for some alone time.

“Max. Look after these lot for me, I would say help them make their tents- but I think you’d be no help. I won’t be long.”

“Where are you going?”

“The rock.” Maxwell smiled softly, he knew that Drake went there to talk to Hana at least three times a week. After a little stroll, Drake arrived at the rock- it was located next to the river, the tranquil atmosphere relaxed him immediately.

“Hey Hana. Your husband is an old bastard now, I wish that you was here to celebrate with me yesterday. You and Li. Brooks turned up. She’s been down ever since the two of you gained your wings. I think she smiled for the first time. Remember when you always said to me, that everything will be okay. To not worry too much about it. That whatever happens, happens for a reason and to just let it be. You always spoke words of wisdom. Even back in my hour of darkness- when I thought I’d lost everything, you were standing right in front of me.” The last sentence said, he was referring to decades ago. The time when Riley got justice in court- justice for her miscarrying their child. Hana was there for him at the palace, talking to him- comforting him. It was the beginning of their relationship. Picking up the guitar, he cleared his throat before deciding to sing a song. A song where the lyrics were apt. ‘Mother Mary’ to Paul McCartney was his mother, in Drake’s situation ‘Mother Mary’ was Hana.

When I find myself in times of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

And in my hour of darkness

She is standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people

Living in the world agree,

There will be an answer, let it be.

For though they may be parted there is

Still a chance that they will see

There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be. Yeah

There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,

There is still a light that shines on me,

Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.

I wake up to the sound of music

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be.

There will be an answer, let it be.

Let it be, let it be,

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

“I hope myself and Brooks can get through this, even after all this time it’s still not fully sunk in. Tell Liam that I’m stuck with all of his kids. Not that I mind. I can’t control them though- they are little shits like we once were. Ayah is the worse, she takes after her Uncle Leo! In more than one way...” Pausing he shook his head, the familiarity was uncanny.

“But then she’s like you Li, wanting to marry for love. Brooks told me about her abdicating and that Louis is taking over from you. I’ll look out for them all. I promise. I miss you both so much. When the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me - it’s you Hana. Everything reminds me of you. Hana, I wish I could show you how much I love you- my biggest regret was not telling you the day that you left. I always assumed that you’d never leave.”

“That was beautiful. You didn’t tell her either?” Turning around, he wondered how long he had the audience for. Placing the guitar at the side of him, he was slightly embarrassed that she had caught him.

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“I was going to surprise you all. But I thought I’d come here before. The place the four of us snuck to for some peace and quiet whilst Max, Bertrand and Sav babysat. The fantastic four.” Walking closer to him, she sat down beside him- dangling her legs over the edge of the rock.

“So what changed your mind?”

“The wicked witch of the west, along with my counsellor. They both said that I needed a break, my mind wasn’t really focused on the preparations for Louis’s coronation or the social season.”

“That wicked witch of the west saved our lives, Ri. I still don’t trust her though...”

“I know she did, hence why she got the Royal Communications Director job given to her. I still want to finish damaging her nose.” Shrugging, Drake laughed. At the time he wasn’t in New York when she did that but wished he was to see Madeleine get her comeuppance. They remained in silence, admiring the view surrounding them. “Beer?” Drake asked, Riley looked up at him smiling before snuggling into him.

“Could you try and teach me to play one day? It would be a good distraction.”

“Erm... sure. I’m not that good. Didn’t Liam play Eleanor’s guitar infront of you?”

Shaking her head, she knew the reason why Liam never played it. It brought back sentimental memories of himself as a young boy when Eleanor played the guitar and sung to him- especially at picnics.

Drake sat behind Riley positioning the guitar correctly, guiding her hand he helped her pluck a few strings. “Think of a song you’d like to learn and we can practice.” Feeling his breath on her neck, sent her heart racing.

“Okay...” removing the guitar, Drake sat beside her again. They both laid down staring up towards the stars.

“Why them? I still don’t understand, Drake.” Not knowing how to respond, not knowing the answer himself- he just placed his hand over hers. Both of them shed tears, tears that the two of them had cleverly hidden in public. Genuine tears.

“Is it ever going to get better? I don’t think I can go through any more shit, Drake. It’s scares the hell out of me.” Turning onto his side, he caressed her cheek- wiping away the tears that were slowly falling down her cheek.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I don’t know many people who can; survive jumping in the river Hudson, survive domestic abuse, survive a miscarriage, survive being stabbed. You are the strongest woman that I know. Most people would give up fighting. You’re an inspiration Riley, not only to your friends and family but to your country.” Drake knew that everything she had gone through was due to that one bad decision he had made in the past.

“I suppose I should thank you for making me strong then? I’m going to head back, just to make sure that Maxwell hasn’t set your home on fire.” Laughing, she knew that Maxwell was capable to be involved in any calamity.

“I’ll come with you.” Drinking the remainder of his beer, he stood up ready to return to the cabin. Riley placed her hand onto his arm, focusing her eyes on to his.

“You don’t have to. I interrupted you. I talk to Liam all the time, I still phone him. I know how important it is to have these moments. I’ll see you back at the cabin, Glen is waiting to escort me.” Providing him with a tight hug, they stayed in that position for a while. “I’ll see you soon.” Caressing his cheek, she smiled softly at him. Drake nodded towards Glen who was stood in the distance, as Riley walked away. Knowing that she was safe with her guard, he still felt the need to be that extra protection.

Let it be, he whispered. Picking up the guitar he slung it over his shoulder, then picked up the empty beer bottles. Gazing up towards the brightest stars one more time, he blew a kiss. I love you Hana. I love you Liam. I miss you both so much.

****

Jackson had set up a fire, if anything Drake was good at his son had definitely inherited it. There was an awkward atmosphere, Riley began to feel sentimental being in her friends house- her friend who wasn’t there anymore. However she kept smiling for the company surrounding her.

“Uncle Drake?” Louis sat next to Drake, both sets of eyes were focused on Riley.

“Yeah? What’s up mate?”

“I haven’t seen Mom laugh or smile in such a long time. I want to thank you and Uncle Max. I haven’t seen you smile much either.”

“No need to thank us, Louis. We all love your Mom. Even your Aunt Liv. And she doesn’t do ‘love’...” Louis knew that this statement was a fact, his Aunt was a cold hearted bitch- but deep down she would be caring, at times. Sighing, the young man bit his lip- he loved his Uncle as if he was a second father. Ever since Drake’s party there had been something lingering in his mind- the past relationship between his Mom and Uncle.

“You still love, Mom. Don’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“We know. Uncle Leo told us everything at your party. You got my Mom pregnant before my father. So you must love her. I know you love Aunt Hana... but you also love Mom.” Savannah didn’t mention that, he thought to himself- now thinking how to get out of this awkward conversation.

“It’s complicated.”

“Tell me...”

“Louis....”

“Please.” Drake gave in, seeing those sparkling baby blues pleading for some truth decades after these events occurred.

“Your father proposed to your mom at the end of his engagement tour. She rejected him, explaining that she loved us both. We slept together, I pushed her away. Saying that your father deserved her.... you don’t want to hear this.....”

“I do. Who is Nate and Kiara?” Those names hadn’t been mentioned in years. Liam was against it, not wanting to look in the past but towards the future. Drake explained that Riley moved back to New York. To get over losing her due to his own stupidly he slept with Kiara and that Riley had begun a new relationship with Nate. Tears began to creep down his face as he explained what Nate did to Riley and Leo. Then about the frightful night that Kiara stabbed the two of them.

“I regret how I treat your, Mom. How I never protected her. But between us all we are going to look after you all.”

“Who’s going to look after you?”

“I’m fine.”

“No your not, Uncle Drake. I think both you and Mom need each other more now than ever. Myself, Ayah, Ellie and Jackson were talking about it before. My father and Aunt Hana wouldn’t mind if those feelings resurfaced. They love you both.” Drake shook his head, slowly sipping his whiskey- he couldn’t believe that his godson was attempting to reunite them. They were friends. Only friends. Luckily Riley had forgiven him, if that was anybody else he wasn’t sure if they would forgive him so easily.

“Why are you whispering?” Maxwell interrupted.

“I’m just giving Uncle Drake my blessing.”

“Blessing? What for?” Looking towards Riley, he finally understood. “Ohhh. That kind of blessing.”

“He’s drunk, Max. Ignore him.”

“Personally I think you’re both too old to be fucking and sneaking away anyway. We’re not in our twenties anymore! Although saying that, I don’t think Glen is as good as Bastien, so you’d probably get away with it.” Shrugging, Louis burst out laughing at his ‘fun’ Uncles response. “Bast always knew about blossom sneaking off with the two of you. But seriously too old to be fucking and sneaking away.”

“Who’s too old to be fucking and sneaking away?”

“Maxwell was on about us ALL being too old to fuck. Wasn’t you Max?” Perking his eyebrows towards his friend, he hoped that Maxwell would suture his lips together.

“No. I was on about.....”

“I don’t care about your sex lives gentlemen. Come on Drake, make your infamous s’mores.. I’ve missed them.” Drake was grateful for Riley’s interruption, leaving the group- he distracted himself by making everybody s’mores. His forte.

****

A few hours later, Maxwell had passed out on the floor. The young adults had called it a night and decided to go to their tents.

“They are such lightweights.”

“You are such a hypocrite, I remember when you was a similar age.”

“Touché... thank you for putting up with us all. It’s been really nice spending time with you all.” Drake just smiled, he had attempted to keep a distance between the two of them. However that plan failed, as they sat together snuggling into the thin blanket that barely covered the two of them.

“I suppose we better get Maxi inside.”

“He’ll be fine, he slept with the peacocks surrounded by his own urine and vomit the other week.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No!”

“You’re lying, Drake.”

“I’m not... ask him yourself, when and if he wakes up.”

“I will do. Don’t you worry.”

“I’ll take him to bed, even if I’m going to break my back.”

“I’ll help you.”

“It’s fine, your Majesty.”

Knowing how stubborn she was, he wasn’t surprised when she stood up to help him with the dead weight. Assisting Maxwell to stand, they took baby steps getting him inside- after a few stumbles they flung him onto the couch. Resuming their position outside, they both got settled having having a beer- talking about Liam and Hana. Content in each other’s company.

“Drake who is here?” Looking at her with a perplexed expression- he was unsure as to why she asked this.

“Us, Maxwell sort of. Our children. Why?”

“Why does it sound like there’s an extra guest? Coming from Ayah’s tent?” Without hesitation, Drake shot up heading towards the young woman’s tent.

“Uncle Drake! Get out!” Covering herself up with the sleeping bag, she regretted not being quiet. Thankful in a way that her Uncle wasn’t looking directly towards her naked body.

“Theo! Get out!” Drake demanded with anger in his eyes. Riley popped her head inside the tent, disappointed in her daughter. Even if she sounded like a hypocrite.

“Mom, it’s not what it looks like... or sounds like...”

“Oh really, Ayah? Theo put that thing away... now!” Once the young man, covered his cock up- his body began trembling. He had always been scared of Drake and Leo- the overprotective uncles, but never Liam or Maxwell.

“I’m sorry, Sir Walker. Your Majesty. It wasn’t Ayah’s fault. It was all mine. I’m truly sorry. It was just sex. We used protection. I love, Ayah. I’ll never hurt her.” Hearing the words ‘it was just sex’, sent anger running through Drake’s veins. If Jackson had spoken like that, no matter how old he was he would ground his son. Grabbing the young man- he dragged him out of the tent. Surrounded by an audience and an echo of gasping, Ayah ran out apologising.

“Uncle Drake. Please don’t hurt him. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“Touch her again, in my house or anywhere near my house- and I’ll kill ya! Got it Vancouver?”

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ivyjlopez · 4 years

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October 9, 2020, 8:19pm Q&A 101

Eight days before my birthday as of this writing. I’m actually having second thoughts if I should do a blog or a vlog. But, I do like writing and releasing my thoughts through words rather than speaking up. So, as I’m about to enter another year and continue to be an adult I’d like to start doing things I’ve wished I’ve done earlier. I do not intend to have plenty of followers in any social media platforms, the only goal is to write, encourage and lead people closer to Christ through my writings and to release the thoughts I have in my head for quite some time. Yes, I’ve always been telling people that I am an introverted gal and even so, that doesn’t mean I cannot share the gospel having this personality. Introversion is not a disease and if you know you’re one of the “introverted peeps” and is frightened to share the word by speaking up or encouraging people then share it the introverted way. You go, gal! The Lord got your back. ;)

To begin this blogging journey, I’ve let some of my friends ask me certain questions about anything that they’d like to ask. Disclaimer, those that you’re about to read below are just based on my thoughts and opinions, and I’ve used some verses from the scriptures and will be using ‘em in my future blogs, if you’re actually opposed or you want to correct anything, feel free. So, here you go…

Question #1

Who are you?

I chose to answer this one first as a way of introducing myself a lil’ bit. So, most of my colleagues knew me as someone who’s meek, timid and quiet. But for those who are actually close to me would somehow oppose (lols). People would usually talk to me and seek advice as if I am a pro (lols kidding aside). I think it’s just that they consider me as someone worthy enough to be trusted sharing their deepest darkest secrets since I usually prefer to listen to someone’s rants and let the person do the talking cause sometimes that’s only what a person needs. Someone who’s willing to listen. I am literally not the type who does the first approach and most of the time would tag as “snobbish”. (Maybe I wasn’t really snobbish, I just didn’t see you due to my 300/400 vision. Haha.). I would definitely describe myself as someone who loves and values solitude, spends my spare time resting, reflecting, reading either at home or outdoors. I prefer to be in a small group of friends than being surrounded by the crowd. I am someone who doesn’t like the spotlight, I’d prefer to stay lowkey and not let everyone know what my next steps are.

P.S. I might be one of the most picky person you’ll ever meet. Lols.

Question #2

Where do you want to go?

If this question pertains to travelling, I prefer land over water activities (just to add the fact that I don’t know how to swim that’s the main reason I dislike water activities). Nothing specific, it could be both local or international, I’d like to roam around places just to pass by a well-known spot and attractions, watch and appreciate the beauty of nature and sceneries, read books if possible (sort of boring to some but I’m just simply happy with this kind of thing).

Just to add up though, one of the unforgettable trips I did a year ago was at Puerto Princesa. To cut the story short it was supposedly for a two person trip turned to trio friends down to the first ever solo trip (sighs). It was my first time to be at the airport, first time to ride a plane, first time to go somewhere I’ve never been, first time to plan my own itinerary Onset (lols). Am I lonely during my whole stay? Definitely not (remember solitude is my forte) I was kinda nervous at first but it was suddenly replaced by excitement. I’ve met new people along the trip, my eyes were able to capture beautiful sceneries, I was able to eat and enjoy my breakfast without rushing. I didn’t do much activities on those days but my heart and soul was truly grateful and joyful. And it made me even realized, I am indeed capable of doing things on my own, going to a certain place on my own and just being on my own. Do not equate being alone to being lonely. I was planning to go back this year however, this isn’t the best time yet. Looking forward to visiting that place again and to more other places and countries soon.

But at the end of the day, as some would say, “there’s no place like home” - I will always end up with my comfort place which is, home. (But more than the home I have here on earth, I’m also one of those people who looks forward to coming home with the One who created humanity.)

Question #3

Is it really painful to be left behind?

Without a single thought - Yes.

If it is for someone who passed away, the grief that anyone feels couldn’t be covered up by any comforting words even by the wisest person you knew. Just let the person grieve for now and do its work then healing will follow. Pray for that person too.

If it is for those who left in order to move out or pursue a career it would also be painful for those family members and close friends to see you go. But as for me, if you are in faith and I see you brave enough to explore the unknown, you will always have my support. It’ll be sad for a while. But we have to remember that sometimes letting a person go is also a way of showing our love and support. Let the person grow on his/her own.

Breakup - unquestionably painful. Why? Imagine not talking to the person you thought you’d end up marrying? Those plans you guys made will now be redirected to a different person. Same thing with losing a loved one because of death, this too needs a grieving phase. Cry as much as you want then stand up again. At the end of the day, you’ll just laugh it off (swear) forgiveness and acceptance will be your last destination.

Question #4

Lessons after the breakup

A lot actually (this might consume the entire space lols).

First, your happiness shouldn’t be dependent on a certain person.

Second, never allow yourself to be an option, you deserve to be a priority too.

Third, having the same personality doesn’t guarantee long-term commitment.

Fourth, never let a day pass by without fixing your arguments.

Fifth, communicate and choose to understand.

Sixth, shares the same faith and beliefs (it should always be a Christ-centered relationship).

Seventh, be consistent while both of you are still a work in-progress.

Eight, be honest. I’d prefer someone who tells the truth and does not sugar-coat.

Ninth, choose the people you’re hanging out with and/or seeking help or advise. Not everyone you call a friend is indeed a genuine friend. (It is written in 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals”)

Tenth, choose to forgive always, everybody deserves to be forgiven. Acceptance will always be around the corner once you’ve gone through the right stages of moving on.

(I’ll be cutting it off right here cause there’s quite a lot that I’d like to write. Haha. I might write a separate blog for this. Stay tuned. Lols)

Question #5

How to stay positive in life?

We can’t stay positive all the time. Even the strongest and the most optimistic person that you know will have his/her own downcasted moments and that is okay. Coming from someone who actually thinks negatively this question is kinda tough to answer (haha) but as for me, do not let negative thoughts overwhelm you to the point that it is already consuming you. Sometimes those thoughts are all in the mind and you’re just giving yourself a reason to create a problem that does not even exist. Surround yourself with people who will inspire and motivate you to do better, unfollow pages in social media that will trigger your anxiety, disconnect from people that are not helping you grow, stop looking up to idols and conforming to the pattern of this world, break the bad habits that you always knew you needed to stop doing. Keep it a habit to continually pray, always look up to God’s word prior seeking advice to your closest friends or bursting it all out in social media. If you are to seek counselling, ensure that it is from someone who will not tolerate you doing evil deeds. Read self-help books, open your bible, don't let the dust embrace it. Listen to calm music, it’ll help. Remember that you are loved and blessed. (Philippians 4: 6-7)

(Thank you for your questions Jonnabae, Angge, Dani and Adreng) I’ll be posting the rest of the other questions and my response of course next week. :)

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rainbowserenity · 4 years

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I finished the FF7 Remake, and oh boy do I have THOUGHTS!!!! It’s been like an hour and a half and I’m still riding that high omg

if this was just the first part, I can only imagine how the rest of the game’s gonna go...

Anyway, rambly thoughts under this beautiful screenshot of Tifa I took:

- This game was seriously SO FUN???? I honestly can’t remember the last time I had so much FUN with a game...they really did so well with all the gameplay mechanics and having a good balance of everything, so A++++ for that!

- They weren’t kidding when they said this would basically be a ~full~ game on its own, despite only being the first episode....I got close to 50 hours of gameply (although a lot of it was just me farting around doing nothing lmao) and nothing felt like it was lacking :D

- I really liked (most) of the new VAs! I was kinda worried about Barrett in the trailers, but he came through for me lolol even the NPCs sounded awesome!

- We all know Don Corneo’s a pig, but I actually really enjoyed his scenes because his VA was clearly having so much fun with it ahaha~ And I LOVE that they kept in the “I’ll cut them off/smash them/rip them off” lines pffft. Too classic!

- I LOOOOVE all the stuff they elaborated on....it was nice to see more of Midgar and hang out with the AVALANCHE nerds. I remember not really giving much of a fuck when they died in the OG, but I was full on sobbing at Jessie’s death scene in this game a;lskjf;laiwjef

- I thought the battle with Rude was kinda clever, that he wouldn’t really hurt Aerith but just kept putting her to sleep when you switched over to her...so RUDE hahahaha B)

- I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO SEE CAIT SITH???!!! It makes me wonder if they’re gonna have a different way of introducing him, or if he’s gonna have a different sort of role...maybe Reeve will finally tell us how he operates a robot cat with a Scottish accent

- I loved the little details in the animation, like how when you climbed all the stairs in the Shinra building (because of course I did that lmao), Cloud gradually got slower and slower...or how when you controlled Tifa, she was naturally faster. And how Barrett sort of ‘limped’ when he climbed the ladders cause he just has one hand......I love tiny details and effort like that ahhh it warms my cold black heart!!!

- speaking of which, if you watch Red XIII pull the levers....you can kind of see how he’ll be able to pull off the sailor suit later on lmao I love him

- WALL MARKET!!!!!!! Definitely my favorite chapter omg alskdjflaiwejf The dance sequences were PERFECT!!! When did Cloud learn to dance?! I can’t wait to go back and replay that chapter lmao

- AERITH SMACKING THE GRUNTS AROUND WITH A CHAIR ADDED TEN YEARS TO MY LIFE

- So much of the game gave me XIII trilogy vibes....a lot of it was the music, but the gameplay and some bosses made me feel it too :D

- Am I crazy.......or were practically all the scenes with Sephiroth amazingly gay??? like idk if it’s just Hoech doing that, but........damn

- I officially ship Cloud/Tifa/Aerith as an OT3, but Tifa/Aerith were so cute and gay ahhhhhhhh~ Even if you don’t have shipper goggles, they did amazing at really elaborating their friendship!

- Honestly, all of the relationships between everybody were SO well done without it seeming like they were trying too hard. It felt so natural and easy, even between the NPCs, A++++ to the writers

- Battle-wise, I liked playing as Tifa the best, mostly because I typically enjoy using speedy characters. I actually liked playing as Aerith the least, even though I also enjoy using mages...Barrett took some getting used to, but he grew on me. And of course Cloud was lovely~ It’ll be interesting playing as Red eventually, I think he’ll be really fun to control

- I wonder if Yuffie’s eventual appearance will be handled differently, because they really kept emphasizing the whole “AVALANCHE IS WORKING WITH WUTAI!!!!!!!!” angle....and I doubt Yuffie will be an optional party member, so there might be some more story stuff there. I bet with Vincent they’ll just make waking him up mandatory lmao

- Going back to Wall Market....am I crazy, or was Chocobo Sam the only possible straight one of the trio 8D Madam M was clearly pansexual, don’t @ me

- AERITH SAID SHIT

- tbh I’m still trying to wrap my head around the ending, so there may be rambly tags in gifsets eventually, but....

- ZACK???????????????????? EXCUSE ME I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO SEE MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YA’LL SHOULD’VE HEARD THE NOISES I MADE A;SLKDJF;ALWIEJF;ALWIEJF;ALWIJEF;LAWIJEF

- AND THAT “I’LL GO GET KUNSEL” LINE????? EXCUSE ME???????????????????????????????????????? WHY WOULD THEY PLAY MY HEART LIKE THAT?????????????????????????

- ........................................................I don’t much care for Zack’s new VA :(

- Though I think I’m just biased because Rick Gomez was PERFECT and always how I pictured Zack’s voice....this new one just doesn’t quite do it for me and that makes me sad :( - BUT HE’S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZACK EXIST AND MARRY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- seriously, how was it possible for him to get MORE beautiful???!!!?? I’m gonna cry just thinking about it rip

- I was talking to a friend about the ending, and she had what I think is a good theory that the Whispers have seen things play out before and this is just a reoccurring timeline. It would explain why Cloud had visions of Aerith praying for Holy, why Tifa saw Meteor, how they saw Red running around in the future... (plus, this was sort of the plot of Type-0, so it wouldn’t be the first time it’s been done lol)

- tbh though, I’m not sure how the possibility of Zack not going to Hawaii will play into things. Cloud’s cocky personality is a result of his trauma from Zack’s trip to Hawaii....so if that happened differently....

- Maybe Asshole Hojo picked Zack up??? Because he did seem to know who Cloud was and was all interested in furthering his ~experiments~ so it’s entirely possibly he’s a dick and has Zack locked up somewhere again....

- OR maybe Zack’s just in hiding and that’s what the “I’LL GO GET KUNSEL” line was all about, since Kunsel knows all?? IDK MY HEAD HURTS

- That being said, I need to think about things more and as I mentioned, there may be rambles in my tags in the coming weeks ahaha~

OVERALL, this game was a BLAST!!!! I loved it so much, and like I said, I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun playing something. 10000000000/10, highly recommended to the world and I can’t wait for the next part!

#final fantasy vii #ffviir spoilers #i mean under the cut but yeah #I JUST...........#DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL ANYMORE #EVERYTHING IS FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!#AND SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my tears though #the sobbing #the stupid noises #a;lskdjf;aliwjef;lwije #SOMEONE HOLD ME #WE'LL GET HAZMAT SUITS AND HUG #AHHHHHHHHHHH

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praphit · 5 years

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BAMFs of 2019

Here's last year’s CHAMP -

THANOS

(Thanos: ”WTF did you just say?” #Mood)

Let's see if he made it back.

But, first, let’s take a look at some honorable mentions, as well as some people who were trying too hard:

Rey -

Of course she is a total BAMF. So, why isn't she on this list? 3 REASONS: 1) She looks like a racist ex that I once dated. How can someone who decided to date you (a black man) be racist? Did y'all see the movie "Get Out"? You didn't know that the story was based off one of my relationships did you? So, yeah, she ain't ever gettin on this list.

2) The force is cheating - their I said it.

3) This last movie sucked. This rap she did didn't help her cause.

ALSO - there’s this - her rapping. I repeat, she ain’t ever getting on this list.

Nic Cage - cuz he's Nic bleepin Cage

Cardi B - cuz she’s Cardi bleepin B

Hooded Justice - if only he had been in more episodes. A black man disguising himself in a hood, as well as white, to fight evil in his neighborhood, that the police force (of which he is a part of) refuses to stop. Hell yeah! I love "Watchmen".

Lupita! - her brilliantly scary performance in "Us" is def BAMF material.

The Rock - honestly, The Rock is so awesome, and has been for so long, that he needs to be extra awesome to make it.

Trying too Hard. Please STOP:

Batwoman -

I like Ruby, but she's like an elf. She's an elf model. It's not bad to be an elf model, but... If a villain in Gotham, let's say "Bane"

has me cornered, and Batwoman shows up to "rescue me", Imma start praying. He'd swing her around by that red hair of hers until her head pops off.

Rambo - He’s like 80! C’mon, Sly. Please STOP.

Dark Phoenix - a movie about her temper tantrum

Joker -

- not with all of that awkward dancing he was doing

NOW, finally, the top Bad Ass Muthas of 2019!

12) Greta -

Say what you will about climate change, but you can't deny her passion and dedication, and how inspiring it is (unless you're Prez Trump or Fox News) to see and hear a kid like her do her thing. I admit that her winning the honor of "Person of the Year" is too much. But, we all wish our kids would be this dedicated to what they believe is positive change. Plus, she has a kickass soundtrack. Gets me hyped every time!

11) Dave Chappelle

Back in the day, comedians used to be brought on stage, tasked with the difficult job of making a room full of different types of people laugh. Now, it's not just about the job of jokes, but you have to do so without offending anyone, and with clean living. When did we start holding a comedian's behavior to a higher standard than we do elected officials? Dave saw this, and kept doing what made him popular anyway. In a world where most comedians are running scared from difficult topics, Dave plunges right in. BAD ASS.

10) Linda Hamilton -

Old as bleep! We have what's-her-face here,

who is kinda badass herself, but despite being a badass cyborg (or whatever the hell she is), she still felt the need to ask for help from Linda bleepin Hamilton. LH traded her Hospice bingo card in for some guns and went to town on some machines! It'd be like if your home was being surrounded by aliens, and despite you having some fire power in your home and 911 at your disposal, everyone's first thought is to call grandma. That'd have to be one BAMF of a granny!

9) Masvidal -

Allow me to describe this brotha to y'all who might not know.

Some guy was talkin smack to Masvidal, and that guy got kneed in the face by Masvidal (fastest knock out in UFC history = 5 secs). Some guy was arrogant enough to say he was the baddest mofo around, and Masvidal scheduled a fight with this dude for a literal baddest mofo around belt. Plus, that same night of the fight, when he was talking to the media after he had won, he started mocking Conor McGregor, talkin bout Conor don't want none of this. He was talking trash, publicly, about Conor, while people were feeding him pizza. BADASS!

If there is ever a fork in the road, and on one side you see The Rock, Jason Statham, and Will Smith chasing after you, and the other you have Masvidal sitting down, eating a slice of pizza, you had better take your chances with the three action heroes over this BAMF.

8) Nunes -

If you don't know who she is, I wouldn't be surprised. The UFC botched her marketing before and after she fought and beat (badly) Ronda Rousey - yeah, RONDA ROUSEY; remember her? Nunes pretty much ended her career.

The UFC was so certain that Ronda was going to win, and so shocked when she lost, that they missed an opp to get behind a fighter who is better than Ronda (though mad respect for Ronda), and is currently holding TWO belts (first woman to do so). ALSO, she's the first openly gay UFC champ in history. She's so sweet too! - well, unless you're locked in the octagon with her, then she turns into a werewolf.

7) MANDO

I don't know about you, but all of this talk of teamwork from comic book movies can be a bit tiresome. The Avengers, The Justice League, The X-Men. Everybody wants to form a band. What happened to solo acts? What happened to lone rangers? People may say "There's no I in TEAM." Yeah, that's the prob! What about I?! Sometimes, you're Justin Timberlake, and the rest of the group is simply holding you back. That's Mando. He's Disney's updated (non-racist, unless you’re talkin drones) Lone Ranger. He doesn't need teamwork (maybe a weekly cameo, and a baby tag-along, but that's it!). He has beaten up gangs of robots, burnt people up, taken people out Jason Voorhees style, cut people in half, blown people up, blown off heads, BUT because it's Disney, we haven't seen any of that good stuff. He'd be higher on this list if they gave my man an R-rating.

6) Capt Marvel -

Captain Marvel is definitely the most powerful person on this list. She is probably also the fiercest person on this list. In Endgame, when she saw her black daddy (Nick Fury) on the screen, talkin bout Thanos snapped him away, and then something snapped inside of her, and she said "I'm going to go kill that mofo." The Avengers accompanied her, but I don't think she would have needed their help. She didn't really need their help in the final showdown with Thanos. He threw her aside, but you know she was coming back, until Tony got in her way. She is so fiery that it wouldn't surprise me if in her sequel, she goes back in time in order to rematch Thanos by herself, to prove her dominance. The reason that she's not higher on the list is because she's so damned destructive. She's just like The Hulk in the fact that she shows up to destroy everything. Now, she's a lot more focused than The Hulk, but she's so powerful that she does more damage. And she doesn't have much of a personality (so far), so it's hard to gauge her badassery of attitude, you know?? Like, if you're a villain, and you get in the way of a gorilla, that gorilla will destroy you in a very spectacularly badass way, but... it's a gorilla, you know??

I’M NOT CALLING HER A GORILLA. Don’t go snitching on me to her.

I just don’t know if she’s a hero or simply has anger management issues. Is she badass or too powerful not to do badass things?

Either way, RESPECT... or she'll come for that ass.

TIME FOR A BREAK -

Let’s break from all of this badassery with some cuteness

Look how cute it is - I CAN’T TAKE IT!

Ok, back to action.

5) Iron Man -

Look, Iron-Man started this shit! Who knows what would have become of the MCU had Robert Downey Jr. blew it. Tony Stark assembled the team (granted, he was partly the reason for the break-up), he gave us Spider-Man (with that suit) (he also gave us Ultron, but let's not get bogged down with details), he held his own against Thanos in "Infinity War",

Dr. Strange thought HIM worthy of saving, and no way time travel would have worked in "Endgame" without him. Plus, in the very end, he out-smarted Thanos, and countered Thanos' one-liner ("I am inevitable.") with his own ("And I... [five minutes later - I swear that's what it felt like] am Iron-Man.").

Paid the ultimate sacrifice. Hell yeah, he's on this list. I felt kinda bad for his wife. After IM3, she was barely around. And when Tony died, she was barely comforted... cuz nobody knew her. Oh, well.. she be aiight.

4) Thanos -

This dude saw his demise coming, and still went straight ahead towards the foes who cut his head off. BADASS! He was exceptionally crafty in playing The Avengers and blowing up their base. Then, he was just sitting around waiting for the main Avengers (Capt, Iron, and Fat Thor). He wanted to gloat a bit first. BADASS! And had Gamora not betrayed him, and had given him the gaunlet, he would have beaten The Avengers AGAIN!

He even died with a cool pose (he took a knee and got his "Thinking Man" on). BADASS!

3) Arya Stark -

This young lady scared the bleep out of me. She has my fear AND respect. I was actually scared for whomever her current target was... I was like "Run, fool! She gonna get ya! Damn, Arya, you didn't have to do them like that!"

Now, I know I talked about Ruby Rose being a ridiculous choice for Batwoman, but if Arya Stark left on a voyage to Gotham and became Batwoman, I'd buy that. I can see her killing Bane very slowly. This woman is a frickin psychopath, and I love it. She's fearless! She also went up against the top cheese of the white walkers. Y'all remember that badass move she had at the end!

YES! I only wish she had said something cool when she took him out, like... "You've been Starked." No, that's terrible, but something like that. I wish she was the one sitting on the throne, but they... you know... did what they did.

2) Capt America -

I think that it's fair to say that Capt America was the rock of The Avengers After the snap, he was the only one to keep his shit together; he actually worked to help others keep their shit together.

Meanwhile, Widow is crying in the dark every night while having a PB sandwich and bourbon dinner. And she just gave up on her hair.

Thor became an alcoholic.

And you could say Hulk was ok, but... was he?

I mean, that ain't right. This is avoidance behavior if I've ever seen it.

But, Capt kept it together. Then, that fight with Thanos at the end was one of, if not THE best one on one fight of the series. Using both Thor weapons, meaning he was both badass on a fighting level and a righteousness level - which ain't easy to accomplish. And when he straped tight his shield in that trailer, and gritted his teeth - hell yeah!

Chills. Capt to Thanos: You motha bleeper"

1) John Wick -

Three movies with no time in-between to shower, sleep, take a piss, brush his teeth, NOTHING! His life for the last few years (it seems like) has been running, lurking, hiding, beating ass.. and beating ass some more. Lord knows what this dude's kill count is up to. His nickname is "Baba Yaga" Have y'all seen what the actual Baba Yaga looks like?

Terrifying. And yet, not as terrifying as John Wick when he's angry at you.

The amount of endurance and focus that has gone into this long stint of murdering (only fueled by rage and a few shots of bourbon from time to time) is uncanny.

In JW3 he makes a guy eat a book (imagine what must be done to a person's jaw for that to happen), he gets shot, stabbed, hit my two cars (seconds within each other)... Nah, y'all ain't hear me! TWO CARS! The people in the cars were trying to kill him! He fought two super ninjas - like IP Man caliber, he beat up an army of soldiers, crawled through a desert, got shot by a friend who betrayed him, fell off of a building (bouncing around a few times before hitting the pavement), and was somehow still good to schedule a fourth movie after all of that - which I assume will pickup right there.

He doesn't have any superpowers (though you wouldn't know), but his tenacity is to be envied, and outdoes everyone else's on this list.

BAMF!!!

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