#everyone deserves to see this level up in artistry

[citrineghost]

On ADHD, Being Dramatic, and Being Lazy

Gather round everyone. It’s time for our every-few-monthsly post on ADHD by your local ADHD ghost. In this episode, we’re talking about ADHD and how it relates to “being dramatic” and “being lazy.”

On Being Dramatic

No doubt a lot of you have been told you’re being dramatic over the years. I know I have. There are a lot of reasons one might be dramatic, but they’re rarely about the drama.

If I’m to guess the origin of the word dramatic, I’d guess it probably has something to do with over exaggerating your response for the drama. I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of people being dramatic - on tiktok and vine, on youtube... drama calls for dramaticism.

Do you want to know what isn’t dramatic? Genuine reactions. That’s right - genuine reactions, inherently, cannot be categorized as dramatic or hyperbolic. There is nothing about them that is being overdone with the intention of getting attention or entertaining other people. So, let’s talk a bit about how this conflation has hurt us as a community.

Growing up, everything I did was “dramatic.” Crying because I didn’t want to do more chores was dramatic. Having a panic attack because there was a spider in the room was dramatic. Freaking out because I needed people to stop touching me was dramatic. Getting angry when my mother made jokes about my sex life as a teen was dramatic (and apparently abusive, but that’s neither here nor there). Nothing I did that involved a noteworthy amount of emotion was anything, if not dramatic.

On Being Lazy

I know a lot of you have also been labeled as lazy over the years. “Lazy” is the diagnosis everyone loves to give to those who don’t do enough, in their eyes. If you “could have” done something and then “chose not to,” you’re lazy... right?

Growing up, I was lazy too. I was lazy for avoiding housework. I was lazy for not wanting to brush my teeth. I was lazy because I didn’t turn in my homework. I was lazy for staying in bed, on my computer, most of the day.

If I’d only just “applied myself,” or if I would just “put in the work,” then I would be respectable to the people around me. But, because I wasn’t “willing” to put in the time and effort, I was lazy.

Why Is Emotion Dramatic?

The short answer is: it’s not. The real question is, why do people seem to perceive emotion as being dramatic? These are real emotions, after all - real and genuine feelings that are being dismissed as playacting. There are a number of reasons.

Why Are We Lazy?

Again, the short answer is: most people aren’t. The question here is, why do people see others not doing something and assume it’s because they simply don’t want to put in the work? Why do they not seek out an explanation or consider other alternatives? There are a number of reasons for that too.

The Answer...

Editing to put a Read More here because it’s very long

(TW for each of these sections in their name)

1. Sexism

At its core, seeing emotional outbursts or responses as dramatic is inherently rooted in sexism. Whether you’re a boy or a girl, man or woman, if your emotions are being mocked, it’s almost definitely because of our world’s history of sexism and relating emotion to women, who are “illogical” and “just want attention.”

And “real men” work! They work hard! They work long hours! They put themselves into an early grave, with pride, by never sitting down to rest! For this very reason, women, housewives of decades past, were expected, after a long day of doing housework and caring for the children - things that are just as exhausting as a full time job - to dote on their husbands who had just returned from work expecting a hot meal and a beer to be ready for them. Her work is devalued. It wasn’t grueling or tiring or important. It was just “women’s work.” A wife who does all of the housework and child rearing and fails to provide a hot meal and a warm body to her husband is “lazy.”

This is further shown to affect men as well. We can see, as early as non-manual labor-based jobs existed, the men who took them were lesser. Men who work at computers are seen as nerds and geeks - weak. Men who work in universities, coming up with new solutions to our medical needs and discovering the mathematics we need for space travel and advanced technology - they’re weak too. They’re unimportant to society because they’re not willing to get their hands dirty. Those men who prefer artistry are called gay and seen as disposable. It is irrelevant to the conservative man that his artistic counterpart designs everything that fills his home and office - that without artists we would have nothing.

2. Racism and classism

You might be surprised, but racism and classism both have their hands in this as well. I’m talking full on systemic oppression. The ability for people in power to look down on those they see as beneath them for being emotional or passionate about a topic or incident is all about power. You can see a million examples of this today. POC are called dramatic or are implied to be blowing things out of proportion by conservative white people because they want equal rights and feel they’re being treated unfairly. Their emotions are dismissed as irrational and dramatic. 

The cries of the poor, whether white or of color, are mocked. They have no reason to be having the emotions they’re having because they wouldn’t be in the position they’re in if they weren’t “lazy.” After all, only lazy people don’t have money. Only lazy people can’t get work. If they had just “applied themselves,” they would have an income, a home, and ample food on the table.

3. Ableism

And, last but not least, we have ableism. The neurotypical and abled people of the world, at large, cannot understand the experiences of the disabled, both emotionally(those with mental illnesses, disorders, and so on(whether or not certain disorders can be categorized as a disability in a just society is another topic entirely, but they are regarded that way, generally)) and physically.

If you have sensory overload, you are being irrational. It doesn’t matter to a NT if this is caused by an actually chemically different response in your brain. It doesn’t matter if it’s Real To You. To them, it doesn’t make sense, and so you deserve no compassion for your experience. Your emotional response is dramatic.

If you have executive dysfunction, you are simply choosing not to do your work. It doesn’t matter that there is an actual reason, buried in you somewhere, for why you have become Stuck. It doesn’t matter if you feel crippled by this aspect of your life. They see that you have neglected to do something they deem easy. Therefore, you are “lazy.”

ADHD and Being Dramatic

For those of us with ADHD, being called dramatic is a very familiar experience. After a while, we begin to internalize it. We must be dramatic, right? After all, so many different people have told us we are - and for good reason. We do tend to get overly emotional.

So the question is, why? Why do we get overly emotional? Why are our emotions so much different than those of our NT peers?

1. Lack of Emotional Regulation

A big part of ADHD, which is not yet a diagnostic criteria, is our emotional disregulation. ADHD, inherently, comes with some amount of disregulation in our emotions. We have a hard time controlling the emotions that we feel and managing the intensity of them. They may come across as overly intense, or they may seem subdued, both for reasons we can’t possibly figure out as individuals. This disregulation is entirely out of our control, happening at a neurological level. Our brain chemicals don’t work as they should. But, no matter how unregulated our emotions are, they are still real. We do still feel them, exactly as intensely as we think we do. Disregulated does not mean made up.

2. RSD

If you knew about RSD before, or you’ve read my last post on ADHD (under my tag adhdghost), which has gained some popularity, you already know what this means. For those who don’t, RSD is short for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. This condition plagues something like 99.9% of people with ADHD (while not being ADHD exclusive.) It comes with the lack of emotional regulation and means we have a reaction, that seems out of proportion (or “dramatic”), relative to the thing that caused it.

In short, RSD episodes can look like an entire breakdown, a very sudden loss of any self esteem or confidence, the feeling that you are certain someone now hates you or has secretly always hated you, and/or an immediate need to get rid of the thing that caused it. These episodes are caused by any kind of perceived failure or disappointment. They can be caused by someone whose opinion or relationship we value who gives us a slightly judgmental look, someone saying they don’t understand why we like the thing we’re interested in, or even not living up to our own expectations. These episodes frequently lead to emotional outburts, episodes, breakdowns, and tears. Naturally, all of this is “dramatic,” despite it being very real and painful for those experiencing it.

3. Combination with Other Things

Emotional disregulation can interact with other parts of our lives as well. For instance, I have a lot of phobias. My reactions to seeing or being around the things that terrify me can be even more intense than how most people react to their phobias. They can cause anxiety attacks, emotional breakdowns, and lasting fear for hours or days after. My recovery from these instances is hindered by my inability to regulate the feelings they caused.

Emotional disregulation can also interact with triggers, trauma, sensory problems, etc.

ADHD and Being Lazy

And of course, if you struggle with ADHD, you want to know, “Why am I so lazy?” The answer is: you’re not! Laziness is a made up word. Laziness was created to pass blame onto people who struggle to do things that more typical people can accomplish with ease.

So, what is the reason we struggle to do these seemingly simple tasks?

1. Executive Dysfunction

This is The Big One. Of all the things that can cause an inability to do things, executive dysfunction is the Achilles heel of ADHD. Because ADHD causes a difficulty with prioritizing, rewarding actions with no immediate reward, and creating a list of steps for us to take (something that comes naturally to NT people), we sometimes get “Stuck.”

This feeling of being stuck may look like us just having fun and avoiding our responsibilities. You may be Stuck right now, scrolling through tumblr mechanically even though you’ve been needing to pee for three hours. Naturally, you’ve been wanting to go to the bathroom... you just don’t know how.

To a NT, this sounds ridiculous. “Just get up and go?!” I’m sure you can imagine your parents saying, when they simply don’t understand. The truth is, tumblr can be a nightmare for executive function. It endlessly scrolls, giving you post after post. There’s no natural stopping point. You keep an eye out for a natural end to this activity, but it’s hard to find the right post to stop on. If you find those, “This is your sign to go to bed,” posts helpful - otherwise locked into the activity of scrolling regardless of whether you want to - you might be struggling with executive dysfunction.

This inability to “queue” our actions or prioritize what we need to do, and in what order, can wreak all kinds of havoc in our lives. You remember you didn’t really understand that equation the math teacher explained earlier. You know today’s homework is related to its use. Therefore, you cannot start your homework. There are a number of possible solutions floating around your head. Maybe the book will explain it better. Maybe your parents know how to do this and you could ask them. Maybe you could Google it. It’s possible the homework is about something else. But, if it is, what if you don’t understand that? Maybe you should ask your teacher before class?

Even though you have all of these solutions in your head, because you don’t know which solution is the best solution, you find yourself unable to do any of them. You show up to class with no homework and your teacher gives you a disappointed look. “I don’t understand why you don’t just apply yourself more. You’re a very smart student.” The remark brings you to holding back tears, because you want, with every fiber of your being, to apply yourself and make your teacher proud, but you simply don’t know how.

This is the destructive nature of executive dysfunction, and it is not something to be taken lightly.

2. Distraction

For those with ADHD, the inability to regulate external stimuli makes focusing incredibly hard. You wake up one morning and plan to start that English paper after breakfast. You go to get yourself some cereal. You’re out of milk. You decide to make toast instead. You burn your toast because you lost track of time for just 30 seconds. You go to throw it away, feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt over the two pieces of bread you wasted. The trash is overflowing. You decide to take it outside. It’s a really nice day out. Maybe you should take your dog for a walk. You haven’t taken her on a walk in a while and you’re just now feeling motivated to, so you should take advantage of that. You go to retrieve your dog and take her for a walk. When you bring her back in, you go to get her treats from the shelf in the laundry room. Oh yeah, you’d been meaning to do laundry. You go to get your laundry hamper from your room and notice there’s a bunch of laundry on the floor. You begin picking up the laundry from the floor. You may as well tidy up the other things on the floor as well. You finally get around to taking your laundry to the washer. You’re out of soap. Maybe you ought to make a run to the grocery store. You take ten minutes to find your keys and wallet and then head out to the grocery store. When you get there, you’ve forgotten what it was you needed. “Oh, right! I’m out of milk!” You go and retrieve milk. When you get to the checkout and the cashier rings you up, you suddenly remember you need laundry soap. Well, it’s too late now. You’ll have to do laundry tomorrow. You can’t risk the cashier giving you a tired look by asking them to wait. You go home and make some cereal. You can’t really write while you eat, so you open tumblr. you scroll through tumblr for a while. Your cereal gets soggy, you notice, disappointed. You see a tumblr post reminding you that you forgot to order something important online that you need to get here as soon as possible. The day continues in this way until you finally realize at 5pm that you never started your paper. “It’s so late now... I’ll just start it tomorrow morning,” you tell yourself. Rinse and repeat.

If you relate to this, you might want to consider researching ADHD a bit, because this is a very typical ADHD experience.

3. Hyperfixation and Hyperfocus

The last prominent reason why people with ADHD are seen as lazy has to do with a cycle in hyperfixation and hyperfocus.

If you don’t already know, hyperfixations are those interests you have that fill you with an overwhelming love and which take up an incredible amount of your time, energy, and brain space. These could be fandoms, hobbies, characters, games, or otherwise.

Hyperfocus, on the other hand, can be related to hyperfixations or things that aren’t hyperfixations. Hyperfocus is when you get “locked in” on a task and can’t seem to put it down. If you started this post not knowing how long it was and find yourself still raptly reading, completely ignoring the world around you, you may have hyperfocused on it. If you ever start cleaning and just can’t stop until the whole house is clean, despite your lack of regularly cleaning for over a month, you are hyperfocusing on cleaning. If you write a 20k word fic in one night, you are hyperfocusing.

Hyperfocusing can leave you completely unaware of the world around you, causing you to neglect your own basic needs, such as food, bathroom breaks, water, and social interaction. 

Because people with ADHD are able to occasionally apply themselves to such an extreme degree, NT people don’t understand why ADHD people are unable to apply themselves to other things as well. The reason we can’t is because we do not regulate our hyperfocus. Hyperfocus comes from tasks that are giving us serotonin, to make up for our brains inability to give serotonin in the way it should - in the way NT brains do. Emptying the dishwasher just felt really good. The next thing you know, you’re filling it with more dishes and wiping off counters and sweeping the floor and, “oh god, it looks so nice what if I just-” and then you move on to the laundry and the living room and the bedroom and then somehow 6 hours have passed. You don’t know how it happened, but now your house is clean and you feel amazing... but also tired and hungry. So you go make some food and then pass out on the couch.

So, when NT people see this kind of laser focus, they demand to know why you couldn’t do that simple math assignment, or why you haven’t been returning their texts, or why you couldn’t apply the same level of energy and enthusiasm on that really boring geography project. They demand to know why you’re so “lazy” the rest of the time.

There’s also the element of hyperfixation. It is the ultimate distraction. Your parents tell you to do the dishes and you say you will. Suddenly, you’ve found a fanfiction about your hyperfixation and you can’t stop reading it. It’s 60k words long and it will take you all day, but you’ll find a break to do your chores somewhere in there, right?

Your mom is suddenly knocking on your door what feels like 5 minutes later, but it’s been an hour. She wants to know why you didn’t do the dishes yet. You’re upset at yourself, but you lash out at her, because you’re unable to regulate your emotions. “I’ll do it in a minute!” you say loudly from behind your door. She walks off, irritated. You ask yourself why you can’t just do it now. Why does it feel impossible to tear yourself away? Your hyperfixation is the ultimate creator of hyperfocus. It rules you.

Before you know it, it’s midnight. You’ve finished the fic. It was amazing. You realize with dread that you still haven’t done the dishes, so you sneak out to the kitchen, hoping your parents have gone to bed. They have, but you find the dishes have already been done by someone else. Suddenly, you’re holding back tears from the RSD episode this has triggered. You ruined everything. You disappointed your parents. You’re a lazy and terrible child and they deserve better.

The truth is, you’re none of those things. In fact, you’re struggling with one of the most difficult mental blocks someone can have. But to others, you’re just making excuses. To others, you should have been able to just do the dishes and then go back to reading. But you know it’s not that easy. But why?

It’s ADHD, Babey!

If this post is hitting hard in a way that feels like your life is being splayed out before you, you might just have ADHD.

The fact is you are not dramatic and you are not lazy. You are struggling with a lot of ADHD symptoms that are making functioning in a neurotypical world incredibly difficult. This world was designed by and for NT people. Your worth is not based in how you live up to their expectations.

If you think you might have ADHD, it might be time to ask your doctor about getting an ADHD evaluation. Please check out my last post (the one i mentioned is under my tag adhdghost) to get more information on RSD and on getting evaluated.

An Important Note

Many experiences and struggles caused by ADHD are also present in other disorders. For example, RSD can be seen frequently in autism as well as in anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Sensory overload, emotional disregulation, executive dysfunction, and so on, can all be present in things other than ADHD. If you want to know if you fit the criteria for ADHD, go check out the criteria on the ADDitude website, which is a great source for ADHD related information.

[pwrlessobvious]

hey there’s a long ass opinion about PTD under the cut bc apparently it triggered something in me, if you don’t care about bts and/or are here to hate don’t interact *mwah mwah*

don’t get me wrong i would DIE for bts and up until now i loved their american songs, i was the biggest apologist when my army friends were shitting on them. the american songs are funky and cool and give me serotonin and that’s all that matters tbh buttt. this has got to stop now for realsies.

i applauded hybe/bh and bts for wanting to prove that america is in fact racist and xenophobic (shocker) through releasing songs in both korean and english and seeing how they chart. of COURSE the english songs charted higher and are charting right now, Butter has just stayed its 7th week on #1. it’s a huge achievement and what they did with Dynamite was a big deal as well, so they have proved to the world the ugly truth that the language and the way the song is built do matter if you want to be as successful as white american artists and i LOVE that and i support that. both Dynamite and Butter have a simple structure, clear verses, bridges and chorus that are easy to identify, simple beats, the sound is similar to what america has known for decades, etc etc. they were both made to be played on the radio, they were both made with becoming summer anthems in mind, they are both simple and cheerful songs that people could listen to and smile and forget how horrible the world is right now, y e s. it’s fabulous and bts have given the people what they needed to hear. with PTD I understand that they wanted to make a song that would celebrate the end of the pandemic - that way, what started with Dynamite could sort of evolve and come to a close in a natural way. in that sense i can totally see why it needed to come out. but i’m mourning one thing and that’s the loss of quality.

there are fans who hated Dynamite, then they hated Butter even more and now under no circumstances can they get through the entire 3 and something minutes of PTD. i was a fan who really enjoyed Dynamite, liked Butter even better and now is extremely disappointed. so while some could say that it’s been getting progressively worse, i would say that none of the three were top notch bts we’ve been used to for the past 8 years but they weren’t tragic until now. with Dynamite, it was preceeded by MOTS7 that redefined what music is (except for the Sia feature) and brought the best bts song of all time (Black Swan). Dynamite was followed by BE, an entire comfort album of straight bangers. Life Goes On, like Dynamite, was made to comfort people, but it was written and done in a way that didn’t lack the typical bts vibe and artistry - not saying that Dynamite was bad, but just very different. more party and good time, less actual in-your-face “it’s going to be okay.” both were needed, both were needed to co-exist. made total sense.

then we got Butter and Butter is the PERFECT summer anthem and it would have been stupid of hybe not to want to follow their biggest US release thus far with another one for the summertime when chances of success are the largest. and it turned out to be really freaking cool; maybe the lyrics are a bit questionable but the sound makes up for what they lack. so: MOTS7 - Dynamite - BE - Butter. one proper comeback, one american single, then again and again. makes perfect sense. aaand now we got PTD. i’m not saying they’re jinxing the end of the pandemic but they totally are - i’m kidding ofc but ..also not? i just don’t get the timing. even the mv says 2022 and we’re currently halfway through 2021, so why was the song released right now? it feels like there’s a logical error here somewhere. maybe i’m missing something and need someone to enlighten me, but while the US has been successfully rolling out jabs, many if not most parts of the world are still hecking struggling. whatever progress there is, it’s small. but there is hope now bc of the vaccines, unlike last year, so yeah, okay. let’s sing about that hope for 2022 then. but I don’t get a hopeful vibe from the song at all. it’s like everything is over in the world the mv and the lyrics are presenting and suddenly everyone can go out and party and kiss each other and whatnot, and that’s simply not true. i know it probably sounds a bit ridiculous but that genuinely bothers me lol especially since both of the previous songs had a clear reason as to why they came into existence.

i guess i want that clear reason from PTD as well because I need to be reassured that this is just a phase, the american songs, the american lyrics, the american song structure, the exclusively american promo. you can make positive, light-hearted, funky songs and they can be good, but PTD just isn’t. and bts in my eyes are next level artists when it comes to sound, lyrics and choreography, so when i’m faced with the kind of creation that is PTD i can’t help but be disappointed, especially when we saw the light-hearted stuff twice already, three times if we include boy with luv.

let me be clear - i’m not expecting bts to be at the top of their creativity and the artistry that we’re used to all the time. i’ve always said that the world needs simple party songs, and i sincerely hope and believe that while bts release and promote these songs (that were not written by them as well) they get to rest and recharge to later release something that our brains won’t be able to comprehend after just one listen bc it will be that good. i want nothing more than the general public finally realising that bts are a bunch of super talented dudes who can dance super intricate choreos and sing the highest notes and rap the most quality verses, so when they succeed the most with and thus become most popular for songs like the three english ones, it really upsets me because i know what they can do. maybe the american general public have seen what they can do when they were promoting MOTS7, ON and Black Swan, maybe. idk, i’m not a specialist in the field, i’m not even american, but something tells me that no, they know them bc of Dynamite and now Butter. and i don’t think it’s good to be known for songs like that only. i’m afraid that they’ll need to redeem themselves one day because people will end up thinking they only do silly dancey-dancey songs and that’s really not fair. and ughhh it feels like armys look a bit stupid now because we’ve always said that we value bts for what it stands for, the message and the art and all the deep stuff, and now the general public will hear that and go ‘is that what you call art and deep lyrics?’ yeah. anyway, i know for a fact that this will not last forever and we will be getting a regular comeback soon. i’m happy that they get to rest creatively. i’m SO happy that they’re receiving the recognition they deserve, finally. i just hope people will be there to chart their korean songs when they release some too.

[anewbeginningagain]

Skate America 2020 - thoughts and analysis 

Let’s talk COVID. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. After following the Russian events so far I worried we’ll get a similar level of “COVID? what COVID?” that we are seeing in Russia. But here things are way different, skater wear a mask at all times aside from the 3-4 minutes they skate and including when they are in the K&C, coaches are with masks and we basically don’t see them since they are not allowed to greet their skaters coming off the ice or be with them in the K&C, officials are with masks at all times and they sit very far from each other. Overall you can tell they are doing everything in their power to not only protect everyone involved but also send a message about how serious the situation is and I respect that. From what we’ve seen if you are going to hold competition this is they way to do it (and not like Russia ffs).

Dance thoughts:

 Whoever did Green/Parsons FD did it with Disco Brits Vogue FD in mind, there were so many moments that I felt were way too similar. I don’t really like this FD for them, they are a quality couple who goes for a flashy style that doesn't really suit them too much. 

Carreira/Ponomeranko were shaky in the FD, especially him and did mostly well in the RD. When you see them skate right before Hawayek/Baker and compare the quality of the skating and material - it’s a real disadvantage for C/P.

This competition is the best I’ve ever seen Hawayek/Baker skate. Their RD is great and it’s obvious they love it and their new “Heart Of Glass” FD is my favorite from them. They skated is amazingly here, the skating quality and the improved lifts and spin were top notch, and given that Wang/Liu and Disco/Brits are getting scores in the 118-119 area, 121 for H/B is well deserved.

And most importantly - the fact that H/B finished almost 17 points higher than C/P - one of the most correct calls in a competition in a really long time. It’s about time to stop pretending they are at the same or even similar level, C/P show promise but they still have a long way to go.

I will make a dedicated post about H/D since I have a lot to say but that RD dress has to go and the FD dress must stay (more about the skating and scoring later).

Ladies thoughts:

Two very rough skates from Gracie, seems to be a combination of lack of confidence and lacking conditioning. Not sure what more to say, I just wish her happiness.

Audrey Shin was a revelations for me, such a lovely skater who has good jumps and good artistry, I really hope we’ll see more from her.

Amber Glenn struggled to deliver but you can tell she’s close. With her it’s combination of lack of confidence and an injury she had recently so I hope she’ll move forward and crush it.

This was the best I’ve seen Karen Chen skate in a long time and she didn’t even do a triple-triple, if she keeps up she can potentially overtake Bradie/Mariah. 

Bradie’s packaging remains unfortunate. @macaroni-rascal​ said it best - you can’t have the same hair style for a R&J program and for a sexy program, it just makes no sense. Her jumps were called either UR or q (and I think the q ones should have been UR) so I think she should focus on nailing them and not on the 3A. Still, she should have probably won this one tbh. Both program are OK with room to grow, not groundbreaking but not bad either.

Mariah is legit the one skater that can skate to something as cheesy as ABBA and it will still work. She seems unprepared at the moment and it’s fine considering the year we had. She won here based on her SP lead which was questionable and you can tell she felt it from her post-skat comment. Still, between her and Bradie, I think she’s the more interesting skater. 

Men Thoughts

Bychenko won’t get back to his old self but for now this will do, glad to have him around.

Zhou’s quads were mostly called UR which is an improvement but while I think he is getting better with time to give him higher PCS than Keegan is a no.

Keegan is Keegan, not much more to say other than be glad he keeps going and appreciate his bromance with Nam.

Nathan is human and the jumps aren’t all there and it’s fine. If there’s one skater we can count on to get them back it’s him. His post skate comments were great, he is such an articulate young man and it’s pretty impressive. 

Pairs thoughts

Only watched Knierim/Frazier and was pleasantly surprised. I guess this is what you get when you take the best skaters out of two mediocre teams and if they stay consistent they can achieve quire a lot. Actually I also watched Mervin Tran and his partner and while I love him it’s obvious they won’t get too far with training only once a week... 

[funknrolll]

Celebrating Prince: discovering a timeless artist and his meaningful and impactful art. Part 2. The early 1990s: Diamonds and Pearls, and Love Symbol eras

Hi music lovers, as I anticipated yesterday, this music addiction is going to celebrate Prince and his amazing and timeless work!! The article will be split into a few little articles. I hope you enjoy this new format and these articles!!

As I said yesterday, let me say that I have heard so many things about Prince’s artistry. Some comments came from uneducated people who did not even take a second of their lives to understand, and do research on his art. Hence, I think the time to shed some light on Prince’s art, has come (finally). I hope to help some of those people understand this artist better and to finally appreciate him the way he deserves. We owe Prince big time. Today’s music and musicians  owe Prince everything. Without him, many of the artists we listen to today, WOULD NOT BE EXISTING. As we all know, Prince loved to experiment with music, trying out new music genres, new styles, new harmonies, melodies, rhythms and so on. This is one of the factors that led this legend to create a unique, wide and broad vault. There are so many songs of his that I love so much and that I find relevant for this article. The ones I chose, are going to prove that Prince and his music did not just revolve around sex and sexuality, (even if the artist through his music took the topic to another whole level). Through the article, we will see that Prince was more than all that I mentioned above. He was an extraordinary human being, blessed with so many enormous talents, with a beautiful mind, a uniquely pure soul. A true gift of God. With this in mind, let us start this article.

This is the sequel of the article I posted yesterday, so in case you guys missed it, check the previous one out✨

One year after Graffiti Bridge, Prince released Diamonds and Pearls. On this album, I picked 3 relevant songs to prove my case study. These gems are: Walk Don’t Walk, Money Don’t Matter 2Night, Push.  Walk Don’t walk is perhaps my favorite song in Prince’s entire vault. Back in 1999 during the interview with Larry King for Cnn Prince was asked to describe his music, and he provided an extremely insightful, wise and interesting answer that depicted perfectly the purpose and meaning of his music. Prince: “The only thing I could think of, ‘cause I really don’t like categories… but the only thing I could think of is inspirational”. In my opinion, he could not have chosen a better word to describe his art, and this song is indeed the epitome of motivation. Personally, I remember this was one of the first songs of Prince I discovered, and I instantly loved it! Through the metaphor of walking the way the artist gave us such an important and inspiring lesson that is to say that we should always walk our paths, no matter what. Even if everyone is choosing a different way, we to stay true to ourselves, and therefore be unique. Even if people try to put us down or to persuade to change ourselves, we should always keep going because:

“The sun will shine upon you one day, 

If you’re always walking your way”

Indeed, good things will happen someday, if we keep walking our ways without looking back. Moreover, another interpretation that might be given to these lyrics is that even if society dictates its rules, we have to keep walking our ways and stay true to ourselves. Even if everyone tells us no or that we are not going to make it. Additionally, another lesson that lays behind these lyrics is to be brave enough to go out of our comfort zone, be bold and not to look for the easiest way. In fact:

“Walk on their side of the street Don't walk where it feels the best “

To conclude, as I said previously, the fulcrum of this song is to be unique, stay true to ourselves, and to get out of our comfort zone even people or society tells and dictates otherwise. Only by being ourselves the sun will shine upon us one day.  Moreover, one of the recurring themes in this song is the act of walking which might be related strictly to the peculiar arrangement. In my opinion, there might be two methods of interpretation. Besides the beautiful message this song is delivering, the arrangement is an extremely important part. As we can hear the leading instruments in this masterpiece are the keyboard and the drums. The keyboard arrangement is characterized by ascending chords and it might be used to enhance the meaning of the song. As we know Prince was a perfectionist and he surely left nothing to chance. Therefore, in my opinion, the arrangement for the keyboard might be used to help the listener visualize a long difficult walk that eventually is leading to a beautiful destination. This is just my interpretation of this song and I might be wrong, but I love to see it this way. Moreover, through the unique environmental sounds such as the honks of the cars in the street, the song gains even more plenitude and eventually the idea of a real walk. I really love how Perfectionist Prince was. The way he crafted music is something so special from the way he wrote the lyrics, to the arrangements and the compositions and the performance. He was a virtuoso, a real maestro in what he did. Another song that got straight to my heart is Money Don’t Matter 2Night. Another meaningful song. The lyrics of this masterpiece are pretty self-explanatory and eloquent. Indeed with this monumental piece of art the artist is delivering an urgent and poignant message: in today’s world we got to a point where people would do anything for money included send children to war and kill our beautiful. Through the painful yet beautiful lyrics and the arrangement the artist is giving an impressive, powerful and emotional depiction of the ugly effects that money and greed could do to people.  On the other hand, through the choruses, the artist expresses his point of view about money which is that we should care more  about being decent people, with values and love to give before we think and care about money. In Prince’s words:

“Money don't matter tonight (don't matter) It sure didn't matter yesterday Just when you think you've got more than enough That's when it all up and flies away That's when you find out that you're better off Makin' sure your soul's alright (soul's alright) 'Cause money didn't matter yesterday, (don't matter) And it sure don't matter tonight”.  

Furthermore, what impressed me the most is the last part. Indeed, with extremely vivid lyric makes it easy to visualize the images Prince is depicting in this song. For instance, in the following part, the artist is portraying some sad and painful situations where money and greed are contributing to kill our beautiful earth, our children, our environment:

“Hey now, maybe we can find a good reason To send a child off to war So what if we're controllin' all the oil, Is it worth a child dying for? (is it worth it?) If long life is what we all live for Then long life will come to pass Anything is better than the picture of the child In a cloud of gas And you think you got it bad”

This is another powerful example of how a timeless masterpiece can be applied to our world today as we live in a situation where money and greed are ruling people’s hearts and minds. We live in a world without compassion, where we would do anything for money. We live in a corrupted society. We live in a world where we would even kill our children and our environment for greed. Everything for money. Hence, I strongly believe that this powerful song applies perfectly to the world today. Prince was highly educated and extremely “woke” and he knew all the dirt and all the sorceries that were happening on this earth, and through his music, in particular, with this song, he was trying to educate people on this significant topic. Furthermore, as we can hear, this song is totally different from all the other ones on the album. Indeed, it is a blues song and it sticks extremely well with its lyrics. 

Among the songs on this album, Push is my third favorite one. With this song, Prince goes back to his signature funk and r&b sounds that we all love so much. This is perhaps one of the most motivating songs in Prince’s vault. Indeed, with these straightforward lyrics genius himself is teaching we should do whatever we can to reach our goals. There will always be people who try to put us down, but we must do whatever we can to reach the top. We are never too young and never too old to push ourselves to the max without stopping until we reach our goals. This song is a huge source of motivation.

well, every time you get some (Push) people want to take it back (p-push) They rather see you on the run (push) Then see you get it like that (Every time) every time they stop you Change up like a sock (push) Every time they try to clock you (push), tick more than they can tockOoh, push (I push) don't let them pull you down Push (I push) until you get to higher ground (higher) Push You're never too young, never too old Yeah, push Don't stop until you go 

 In 1992, Prince released LoveSymbol where the Symbol made its first appearance ever. One of the most enigmatic songs on the album is 7. It took me some time and some research to understand the meaning of this masterpiece, and it turned out that the artist crafted another deep and meaningful piece of art. As regards to this masterpiece, I would say that it is drenched with symbolism. Some believe that the meaning of this song is to be found in the number 7 or the number of God, that symbolizes spirituality and divine power. On the other hand, some other people believe that the number 7 is connected to the 7 capital sins. Personally, I would agree with the second theory as in the lyrics Prince says clearly that he would have “let all the 7 fall”, and then “Smoke them all”. 

Moreover, the whole lyric gives hints about the fact that the number 7 is related to the 7 capital sins. Indeed, if we take an attentive look at the words of this song, we will find many symbolisms, even from the first chorus with which the song begins. Indeed, starting with the chorus: 

All seven and we'll watch them fall They stanwd in the way of love And we will smoke them all With an intellect and a savior-faire No one in the whole universe Will ever compare 

The number 7 is related to something evil that is standing in the way of something purer which is love. Moreover, as Prince was extremely spiritual and God-loving, I would assume that the gesture of smoking all the 7 might be related to an act of purification most likely when we purify our homes from the evil. In this case, Prince is suggesting that by smoking the 7 deadly sins, he is also doing an act of self-cleansing of his soul from the evil. Eventually, according to the artist, what will defeat all the 7 sins will be his intelligence and his savoir-faire.  Regarding the kind of love the artist is talking about, it is the love between two soul mates, which is the ultimate love that transcends space and time, that cannot be compared to anything. A love that will eventually defeat all the 7 sins.

No one in the whole universe Will ever compare I am yours now and you are mine And together we'll love through All space and time, so don't cry One day all 7 will die 

Furthermore, as I mentioned, this song is drenched with symbolic metaphors taken from the Bible, and in some other cases, the lyrics hint to Jesus Christ and the Gospel.  

And I saw an angel come down unto me In her hand she holds the very key Words of compassion, words of peace And in the distance an army's marching feet (one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four) But behold, we will watch them fall 

Indeed, as we can see from these 5 lines, Prince might be referring to Jesus. In fact, the key mentioned in the lyrics might be a metaphor referring to the belief in Jesus which leads to the practice of compassion and peace. Moreover, the army Prince is referring to, might be the external world corrupted by the 7 sins. 

And we will see a plague and a river of blood And every evil soul will surely die in spite of And seven tears, but do not fear Four in the distance, twelve souls from now You and me will still be here we will still be here 

With “a plague and a river of blood”, the artist is referring to the prophecy in the book of Revelation. Specifically, he is talking about the second plague in the book which is, as the song suggests, the blood in the rivers and in the oceans. But eventually, love will rise above, and evil will die.

Revelation 16:3,4 "And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea, and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea.  And the third angel poured out his vial upon the rivers and fountains of waters, and they became blood. " 

There will be a new city with streets of gold The young so educated they never grow old And a, there will be no death four with every breath A voice of many colors sings a song, That's so bold Sing it while we watch them fall 

These are the last 6 lines of the song and they could have a double interpretation. After all the evil and the 7 sins will be defeated, those who will have chosen love over evil will be entering the “city with streets of gold”. With this, the artist might be either inferring to the old city of Jerusalem or to the Kingdom of Heaven as we can see in the book of Revelation. 

Revelation 21, 21“The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate made of a single pearl. The great street of the city was of gold, as pure as transparent glass.”

I would agree with the second theory, as in the second line Prince is mentioning people who never grow old. Moreover, in the third line, the artist is mentioning the fact that there will be no death. In the fourth line is mentioning a voice of many colors singing which might be inferring to humanity and hence, people of every race and every color and gender. Moreover, in this song Prince is introducing the concept of twin souls. For those who do not know, two twin souls are two souls united as one in spirit which is practically a spiritual union. This is, therefore, an exclusive relationship based on love and faithfulness.  Indeed, as we can see in the lyrics Prince is inferring to this concept in the chorus:

I am yours now and you are mine And together we'll love through all Space and time, so don't cry One day all seven will die 

Also, in the video, it is quite clear the concept of Twin souls. As a matter of fact, we can see Prince and his wife Mayte dancing together and other couples dressed like the artist and his wife. 

Another song on this album that I find particularly relevant is the Sacrifice of Victor. As we all know, Prince used music to deal with everything that was happening in his life. Also, he used music as a way to communicate with people. Through some painfully straightforward almost raw lyrics the artist gives us some insight into his childhood and his teenage years.

I was born on a blood-stained table Cord wrapped around my neck Epileptic 'til the age of 7 I was sure heaven marked the deck know joy lives 'round the corner {joy for sale down on the corner} (we sacrifice) One day I'll visit her I'm gonna {out on my block I'm just a loner} (we sacrifice) When she tell me everything {tell me} That's when the angels sing {sacrifice} That's when the victory is sho 'Nuff {sho 'Nuff down with the sacrifice} (we sacrifice) (help me) (don't say it, preacher) 

As a matter of fact, as we can see in these lines, Prince is telling about how he was born and about his epilepsy and how he saw an angel telling him that he would have no longer suffered from epilepsy. Indeed, in 2009 in an interview with Tevin Smiley Prince revealed how he suffered from this disease during his childhood. 

Mama held up her baby for protection From a man with a strap in his hand Ask the victor 'bout pain and rejection You think he don't when he do understand 

 Furthermore, as we can see from these lines, Prince is mentioning the fact that he was abused when he was a child. 

1967 in a bus marked public schools Rode me and a group of unsuspecting political tools Our parents wondered what it was like to have another color near So they put their babies together to eliminate the fear We sacrifice yes we did Fighting one another, (we sacrifice) (don't say it, preacher) All because of color The angel of hate, she taught me how to kick her If she called me anything but victor  If the only thing that tells me is father time Then sacrifice is the mother sublime, we love it 

Moreover, in this song Prince is also giving an insight into what it was like to be living as a black child in America. The image depicted is extremely striking for it is real and sad as people were still extremely racist during that time. 

Never understood my old friends laughing They got high when everything else got wrong (pass the booze up here) Dr. King was killed and the streets They started burnin' When the smoke was cleared, their high was gone Education got important, so important 2 victor A little more important than ripple and weed Bernadette's a lady, and she told me (what she say?) "Whatever you do son, a little discipline is what you need, Is what you need, you need to sacrifice" 

 These lines are quite clear and self-explanatory. As a matter of fact, Prince is mentioning his teenage years with his friends. In the last 5 lines, the artist is explaining the importance of getting an education instead of getting high on weed. This part is introducing extremely well the last 3 lines where the artist is perhaps referring to Bernadette Anderson, Andrè’s mother who allowed him to stay at her home and who advised Prince to get his high school degree before focusing only on music.  Moreover, the Sacrifice Prince is talking about in this song might perhaps also symbolize the hard work he had to do to reach his goals instead of wasting time on mundane joys, favoring metaphysical, divine happiness over earth pleasures. Another interpretation of the word Sacrifice might be Prince's own struggle from a middle-class black child from a broken family to superstardom. On a broader scale the long, hard struggle Black people had to go through in the USA to gain their civil rights, at the cost of riots, police beatings and MLK's death (MLK is indeed a  symbol of sacrifice to a cause because his activism led to his death). Furthermore, musically speaking, thinking about the lyrics and the topic this song is dealing with, I personally would have expected a different genre and a different arrangement for this song. This is where Prince with his ingenious and brilliant mind came to surprise us all. Contrary to the expectations, the artist decided to craft a brilliant funk song with two different major drum lines. The contrast between the topic of the song and the alluring arrangement is so beautiful and it entices the public to listen attentively to this masterpiece. In my opinion, if Prince had opted for a more melodic arrangement characterized by a down-tempo, perhaps the public would not have appreciated the song fully, and therefore it would not have had the same impact.

This was the second part of a series of articles dedicated to Prince to celebrate his life and most importantly his art. Stay tuned for more. If you have missed the first part feel free to check it out✨ In the meantime stay home, stay safe and healthy. Peace and Love 4 one another. G💜 thank you for your attention 💜

[hollowcrovvn]

Every Breath (RK900 x f!reader | reposted)

Rating: M

Pairing: RK900 x f!Reader Summary: Nines has you in his sights, all parameters designating you as his perfect potential partner. Though he is a bit confused on what type of partner that means. Notes: SHAMELESS PWP because I’m thirsty and needed a tall glass of Nines. I GOT TUMBLR FLAGGED SO REPOSTING (ao3)

Working with Gavin had been satisfactory. RK900's, Nines, performance had been holding steady at 96.2% effectiveness, but there was always room for improvement. RK900 knew it made the humans around it more comfortable to refer to "him" with masculine pronouns and had labeled him with the nickname "Nines" to further his assimilation and to avoid confusing him with the "other" similar looking but obsolete model RK800. It was unconsciously done, humans liked to be around their own kind, which is why he looked like this to begin with. There were probably better forms, more structurally sound and efficient, but Nines was trapped within this human shell. He envied computers sometimes, if only for their streamlined aesthetic, but alas, he needed a means to carry his bio-components from room to room.

Speaking of people who only existed to bring their brain room to room, Gavin entered the offices at that moment with you alongside him. Scans indicated heightened caffeine levels in both Gavin's and the officers bloodstream; coffee date? No. Account balances showed Gavin had only paid for his own. Nines relaxed back, crossing his leg to rest on his knee. He was programmed to display more human characteristics than the RK800 was capable of— well, before it deviated. Again, all simply a means to make him appear more approachable and therefore, more human. Did it work? Hardly. Everyone eyed him with unveiled suspicion. They had accepted the RK800, but such courtesy had not yet been extended to him.

He had to work on that.

"You're in my seat, tin-can." Gavin said, the insult having of late lost much of its malice and becoming almost as much of a nickname as the "Nines" he had bestowed upon him. Nines stood and moved to the opposite chair, feeling no need to argue the point that technically, it was his. Nines had learned his first week of Gavin's preoccupation with starting needless conflict, you on the other hand were far less simple of a puzzle.

You didn't like him, that was evident by your tone, refusal to meet his eyes and your micro-expressions that often expressed ill-ease. There was however, some other cues that indicated the exact opposite. Nines had categorized you under "mixed feelings" in regards to his existence.

You were an officer, but specifically you were trained for and worked in crime scene investigation and had been the rising star forensic photographer for about three years now. A quick file search showed you were still waiting to take the detective's exam, hoping for a career change. Nines disapproved. He wanted you to take your exam as soon as possible so he could submit his request to be reassigned as your partner. He had been watching you closely, examining how you worked scenes and how you processed evidence. He had listened in on your conversations with other officers to get an idea of your personality, hobbies and other personal information needed to determine how well you'd fit.

It was simple math. All probability suggested you would raise his effectiveness level to 98.8%. A 2.6% increase was very appealing, along with the fact you were the most likely to "bond" with him over Gavin or any other officer. Nines knew this of course, because of that the one factor you had that no one else did, the thing that filed you under "mixed feelings". Your pupils expanded when you looked at him and the beat of your pulse was less to do with fear and more to do with excitement. In short, despite your reservations, you were sexually attracted to him. He had paid attention to your interactions with the RK800 and found no similar reaction, which indicated it was specific to his model. Nines could work with that.

Parameters adjusted and he gave a friendly smile to you, making sure it reached his eyes.

"Good morning, officer. How are you feeling today?"

"Jesus," you said with a scowl, "You know, it's kinda rude to scan people without permission." you said, circles under your eyes, "It's called a hangover, Nines. Keep it to yourself."

"I didn't—" Nines started, noting now all the tell-tale signs of veisalgia now that you had mentioned it, "I apologize, ma'am. I did not scan your vitals, I was simply trying to be polite."

Unlike Gavin, your face lit up red, burning with sudden embarrassment.

"Oh..."

"Busted." Gavin said with a laugh, taking his seat.

"Er— sorry. I just assumed."

"It's quite alright, officer. It has been a very eventful week for you. Studying for the detective exam?"

Now the embarrassment turned into something akin to shame, veiled with anger. Parameters needed to adjust again. Somehow he'd said the wrong thing, as if he was judging her night time excursions.

"Do they program you to be a smart ass, or is that just you?"

"I am most certainly programmed to be smart." he said, definitely being one now.

Gavin would have reacted negatively to the quip, but your features softened and your expression became one of vague admiration for the joke.

"I bring it up because I would like to be of help. If you need someone to go over terms or do practice questions, I am able to access past tests and example questions going back several years."

"So can a computer." you said.

"I'm better company."

Gavin snorted as he listened in, shaking his head.

"Nines, why you getting up in her business? Don't you got some 001's to compile or some shit?"

Nines ignored him, eyes fixed only on you. He used his appearance and expressions to his advantage, artificially expanding his own pupils and leaning back in his chair in a way that was open and inviting. He had removed his jacket prior to your arrival and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, displaying the muscles of his arms and the broadness of his shoulders and chest more obviously. Human mating patterns were so *easy* to mimic and based on how your eyes were everywhere but on his right now, his efforts were quite effective. Your core temperature levels had risen slightly, a specific concentration noted between your thighs. An excellent sign.

You sucked a corner of your lip into your mouth as you appeared to consider the offer.

"Why the hell not?"

Gavin shot you an impetuous look.

"What? I need all the fuckin' help I can get. Might as well use the tools CyberLife saddled us with before they take over."

The words "mission accomplished" registered in Nines feed, invisible to all but him. A new objection presented itself:

Establish bond with future detective.

---

Practice was hardly something you needed. Based on your answers to the first few practice problems Nines determine you were good, very good. You combined the objectivity of academia easily with that human factor, that originality to approaching problems. It was obvious you hid these accomplishments from your fellows like Gavin, choosing to fit in more than stand out in that regard. As you sat diagonal from him at your kitchen table, eyeing over a new logic puzzle Nines sent to your tablet, he took the chance to open some files within his mind and peruse your photos.

You were also more than adequate at capturing a crime scene, there was an artistry to your attention to light and contrast, making sure every detail was preserved. This was more than just attention to detail though. Another search brought up more pleasant images, hosted on a freelance photography site under your name. The contrast of dark and light remained, both in color and subject matter, but the photos were more “light hearted” than a crime scene shoot of course.

When his attention came back to present he noted you were staring at him rather intently, tilting your head and sitting back and then forward a few times, adjusting him in the lens of your minds eye.

“Why did you want to help me?” you said, tossing down your stylus and heading to the kitchen. When you returned, you had a bottle of vodka, juice and a glass. Singular. You poured at least a double shot into the glass and chased it with orange juice. Swirling it unceremoniously you began drinking it very quickly.

“You would make a good detective.” Nines said simply, knowing that as you weren’t a direct commander, he could opt to ignore or even lie in response to certain queries.

“Gavin thinks you have a crush on me.”

“That’s not possible, I am a machine. But...” Nines paused, leaning forward slightly, “I hope we might be closer. I’d find it agreeable for you to “like” me.”

You hummed, finishing off your drink and going to pour another. Nines hand closed over the top of your glass, stopping you.

“We’re still studying, officer.”

“Thought you said you wanted me to like you?” you said with a slow smile, putting your hand over his own to move it aside. He didn’t budge, instead capturing your hand in his own and pushing it away.

“I do.”

“See, I’m not convinced, Nines.” you said, a challenge. Parameters were adjusting, fitting to the task.

O Convince

X Give Up

Choose Approach:

X Flattery

O Rational

^ Logical

"Would I be willing to assist you in passing your exam if I did not want you to have a favorable opinion of me?"

"Oh no, that I believe. It's the why, that you ain't sold me on."

X Flattery

O Rational

^ Logical

"You are a very intelligent and capable, woman. You deserve to make detective and I would consider myself lucky to work with you."

That was laying it on a bit thick, but something in his words had peaked your interest, a slow smile starting at the corner of your mouth.

"A "woman"— not an "officer"? So you can make the distinction then?"

Nines brow furrowed, slightly confused, "I am programmed to observe outward appearances and use of pronouns to establish the correct gender of a person, yes."

"There are lots of capable women officers on the force, and Gavin is a good detective too."

X Flattery

O Rational

^ Logical

"I know. I ran the probabilities. But if I were partnered with you, I would be better at completing my missions by a factor of two point six percent."

The truth at last. You sat back, grinning to yourself.

"And why would you think I'd stick it to Gavin and accept you as a partner?"

Nines paused, wording carefully, "Humans enjoy working with co-workers that they enjoy the company of. If you liked me more than Gavin, then you'd be more likely to accept such a request."

You stood, pushing the chair back as you came around the side of the table. You were close, close enough he could register that same spike in your temperature through his dermis without using a scan.

He looked up at you, purposefully expressionless.

"How were you planning on getting me to like you better?" you said, voice low, "Given your display at the office today, I think I know." You took the opportunity to take back your glass, setting it aside though as you seemed now more intent on a different kind of pursuit.

"Anyway within the confines of reason and legality." Nines answered, moving back in his chair to stand but finding himself suddenly incapable of doing so as you straddled the chair and sat down in his lap.

Nine— was not programmed for this. But he would be, in approximately .2 seconds as he downloaded the pertinent information. You leaned a forearm against his chest, resting the elbow of your other arm against him as you put your chin against your fist. You observed him with an almost casual curiosity, despite the way you sat astride him, the heat of you making his sensors spiral through several data points so fast his parameters shifted.

Engage in consensual sexual activity to solidify bond.

"You surprise me." Nines said, earning him another curious look.

"How so?"

"I never thought you'd be one to want to fuck an android."

His obscenity threw you off guard and you seemed prepared to protest, even drawing back and the shift in your weight indicating you were preparing to get back up. Instead though, Nines stood, arms bracing beneath your thighs as he pushed you up unto the surface of the table. The glass clattered, falling over and rolling off the table to land on the rug beneath with a heavy thud.

"Keep dreaming, tin-can." you said, pushing your hand flat against his chest. He made no attempt to get closer, "I only sleep with people who have a pulse."

Nines tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowed. He reached up slowly, grabbing your wrist and moving your hand a little further down on his chest. When you felt the pulse beneath, steady and strong, it was startling— the exact reaction he wanted.

"Qualifier met." Nines said, simple. Direct.

Despite yourself you huffed a laugh, "Well... fuck me."

"That is what we are discussing." Nines said.

"Too much discussing. Not enough doing." you said and the hand on the center of his chest balled into a fist in his jacket as you pulled him down, catching his lips in a biting kiss.

His LED turned from blue to red without even pausing at yellow. When you drew back, there was blue blood on your lips and the taste of thirium in both your mouths. Something in Nine's eyes sharpened, even as his lids fell half closed. He wiped the cut on his lip with his thumb, looking at the blood with vague interest before he cupped your face in his hand and smeared the blue across your chin and then up to your lips. Your tongue chased the movement and he pressed the pad of his thumb down against it almost as a reprimand.

"You're wearing too many clothes, officer. We'll need to take them off." Nines said, hands already undoing the front of your jeans. You tugged your shirt off, throwing it off into the room before straightening out your hips more so Nines could pull off your jeans in one smooth movement. The cold was a shock as you realized he'd managed to completely undress you from the waste down, your panties hem flush with the hem of your jeans as he tossed them aside.

You were left in nothing but your bra, which Nines hooked a finger in the front clasp, pulling it up a bit from your breastbone. A snap of his fingers and it was open, slipping it off your shoulders. It was not lost on you that Nines remained entirely dressed, still secured up to the neck in the high collared uniform.

"I can tell you like to misbehave," Nines said, stopping your attempt to pull him in close again, "But it's just to hide from them how you crave structure. Keep your hands down."

The immediacy in which you followed the command, setting your hands on the edge of the table, drew a half smile to the corner of his lips.

"You need direction. Someone to guide you." Nines laid his palm flat on your collarbone, slowly moving up your neck and then down, tracing the curve of your breast with the back of his knuckles. You arched your chest forward into the touch, Nines clicking his tongue scoldingly.

"Turn around, palms flat on the table. Don't move."

Something in your eyes sparkled, even as you did as you were told, however slowly you did it. Making a spectacle of yourself, swaying your hips invitingly as you bent over. Nines could barely stop himself from running his palm over your ass, squeezing. Suddenly that same hand was on your back, pushing you a little further. You gasped, the table cold on your heated skin, nipples pebbled and hard as they occasionally brushed the surface.

"This is why you would be a perfect fit... " Nines continued, nudging your legs apart with his own. He rested his hand on the cleft of your ass, spreading your vulva with his thumb, "... intelligent, loyal," he slipped his hand between your legs, cupping you, stroking your folds with his index and middle finger until you were up on your toes, trying to maneuver more pressure into the light touch, "...Obedient."

The sound of his palm connecting to your ass was loud in the silence, the cry that came from your throat even more so. You stood still again, moaning in frustration as you clawed at the table.

"Patience, officer."

"Just do it, for christ's—"

Another slap, this time it actually stung just a little, sending satisfaction in trembling waves down your spine that Nines could see with every scan. Despite what he said, he slowly slipped a finger inside, the sound so obscene with how wet you were already and so fluid that he was quick to add another.

"You're already ready for me, aren't you?" Nines said, moving faster, deeper. You had to be able to feel the warm trickle of your own fluids running down your thigh, "I know you've seen me watching you. Assessing your qualities."

His finger hooked and your body arched inward, jerking as you gasped, a moan strangled in your throat as he found that spot and pressed on it again and again. Your thighs trembled, tingling sensations collecting at the base of your spine and spreading out in a growing spanse over your body. Right when you were there, Nines stopped, taking his hand from you and wiping the fluid onto the side of your hip.

You made a noise of protest, rising up from the table, but his hand was on your back again, pushing you all the way down.

"You were happy enough to wait to take the detective exam— to make me wait. Now you wait."

It was quiet for a moment, not being able to see what Nines was doing was clearly both unsettling and arousing as he watched you wiggle, desperately trying to keep yourself still but almost coming apart with the anticipation. Nines unbuckled the front of his belt, unzipping just enough. RK900 were outfitted in every possible way, with the latest programming and technology in all aspects of human sexuality. It was effective in helping understand certain— "crimes of passion".

Nines let the head of his cock just barely brush your vulva, sliding it up and down the slick soft skin, enjoying the velvety feel of it against the sensitive modulars designed to simulate all the human sensations. Nines swallowed thickly, trying to keep his parameters clear and set while also feeling the conflicting confusion of multiple possible decisions. He settled it down to two.

Choose Approach:

X Deep Pace: Slow

O Quick Pace: Fast

"Show me how much you want me." Nines said, eyes heavy as he watched you look at him over your shoulder, bracing your hands on the table as you pushed back against him, trapping his cock between his pelvis and your ass as you bounced up on the balls of your feet, rubbing yourself against his shaft.

"Tell me you want to be mine."

This wasn't part of the mission. Why was he saying these things? Why were his biocomponents tightning— anticipating?

"Yes— I do. I do, please...pleaseplease, Nines."

Well. How could he deny you when you said such pretty things?

He aligned himself to your entrance and with a shaking sigh, sunk into you to the hilt. It was almost unbearably tight, your walls involuntarily spasming, gripping at his girth as you tried to adjust to the suddenness of his size and the feeling of delicious fullness. He took a ragged breath, pulmonary functions seemingly malfunctioning from what he could tell through the haze of his parameters, demanding, ordering he begin his approach.

Nines slipped out only slightly and then, still seated deeply inside you, he thrust forward hard and sudden. The sound of his hips against you was almost as loud as the slap, skin hitting together wetly. You whimpered, the shock of pleasure with just that faint mix of pain was enough to make your heart pound with anticipation for the next thrust. Nines drew back, controlled and methodical as he paused for a little bit longer, throwing you off each time he pounded back in. How he could possibly keep this up without loosing his mind was beyond your comprehension no doubt. Nines could feel your wetness soaking into the fabric at the front of his jeans, so smooth and hot. The parameters flashed in his mind

X CCCCCONtiN##UE P&CE O Faster

Nines gripped your upper arms, holding you down firmly as he snapped his hips forward, that perfect control slipping as he hunched over you, seating himself in as far as he could and then rocking in small tight circles. You broke out into a litany of expletives, your body moving involuntarily as you pushed back into him, moving your hips in pace with him.

"Oh fuck— oh fuckfuckfuck!!"

Your body was so warm, Nines only explanation was that he must have overheated. That was the only logical explanation for how quickly he spilled, spurts of artificial cum coating your insides with unnatural coolness. Your entire body shuddered with the force of your own orgasm, a sudden rush of fluid taking a moment to register in Nines addled mind. He'd made you squirt.

Nines took in a few unneeded breaths, finding it helped stabilize him. He released your arms and drew out carefully, watching the milky substance slip out from inside you. He used the head of his cock to push it back in, letting it drip back out around him. Nines hummed, quickly finding your discarded shirt and using it to clean himself before he tucked his softened cock back into his jeans, buckling his belt and adjusting his jacket..

"Careful." he said, noting you were righting yourself back up on unsteady legs. He pushed you to lean back on the table, using your shirt again as he kneeled down and gently wiped the mess from your legs, noting it had trailed half down your calf. He paused before wiping one trail, casting a quick look up at you before he leaned forward and swiped it up with his tongue. You huffed a laugh, euphoric and tired.

"Don't tell me you want round two already..." you said, Nines considering for a moment before deciding you were too tired for such a thing.

"No." he said, finishing up and moving into your living room where he took a blanket from the back of your sofa and wrapped it around your shoulders.

"You should hydrate and take an anti-inflammatory pain killer. You will be sore tomorrow."

"No shit." you huffed, leaning forward to rest your forehead into Nines' chest. He— did not return the touch, simply letting you use him to prop yourself up. He knew based on his downloads "aftercare" was an important aspect in any dominate, submissive sexual encounter, but part of him felt a bit ill-prepared to offer such "care".

"Get to bed." he said instead, an order that he knew you were not disinclined to follow, "You need to rest."

"You goin' back to DPD?" you said, sitting back up and gingerly covering yourself as you headed towards your bedroom, "Or... do you wanna stay? You don't have to, ya know. You ain't my first hook up, Nines."

That—

"I'll stay." Nines said, shocked at how fast he responded without consulting all his usual parameters.

You nodded, laughing to yourself at a joke he didn't understand as you headed down the dark hall. Nines looked around the room and concluded there was some additional clean up that would need to be done.

He didn't want to even begin thinking about the other maintenance this encounter would cause for him.

[longformautie]

Addressing sexism of autistic men

CW: gender-based violence, including murder and rape

I. Introduction

This post has been coming for a long time. And I mean a LONG time. My thoughts on this topic have been evolving constantly. They will probably evolve even after I post this. I am still learning and welcome feedback.

I was prompted to write this post during the pre-coronavirus Before Times, when I saw that the popular Facebook page Humans Of New York had profiled an autistic man who had become a pickup artist. For context, pickup artists are a group of straight men who will cynically do whatever it takes to get them laid, which of course means blatantly ignoring the needs of the women they interact with, and who share strategies with one another. The autistic man in the photo post talked about how before he was a pickup artist he was hopeless with women, and now he was getting girls - getting laid, even. He said he knew it was manipulative, but that it was only fair - after all, it’s not like anyone had ever sympathized with him for his social difficulties. I was curious about what people had to say in the comments section; turns out, I wasn’t satisfied by any of the takes I found.

The takes I didn’t like can be broken down into two categories. Category number one were formulations like “poor him, he just wants to be accepted.” I’m not even a little bit sympathetic to this take and will only be spending a moment on it. Suffice it to say, it’s hard to take these people at their word that they care about the autism struggle when they don’t show up in droves to the banners of the neurodiversity movement with this level of enthusiasm. Rather, we are part of a culture that likes to sympathize with toxic men. If the man wasn’t autistic, they’d find some other excuse, but since he is, in defending him they can also activate the ableist notion that autistic people are incapable of respecting boundaries. I choose the word “incapable” because if your position is that autistic people sometimes don’t know better than to violate a boundary, the logical conclusion is simply that someone should teach them. To sincerely and enthusiastically take up this kind of “poor autistic guy doesn’t know any better” rhetoric, you have to presume complete incompetence of autistic people and that we’ll never learn, so that when a straight autistic man does a violating thing to a woman, they can shrug their shoulders and say, “well, I guess nothing can be done about this.” This attitude is sexism and ableism couched in a delusion of sympathy.

Category number two of takes, I like lots better but still am not quite satisfied with, and can be roughly summarized: “This isn’t caused by autism, it’s caused by being an asshole.” While I agree that being an asshole is the main ingredient in this cocktail, I don’t think the autism should be dismissed as an irrelevant detail. I think there is a sexism problem specific to autistic men that needs to be separately talked about and addressed. I intend to do so in this post, without assigning blame either to the autism or to the women being abused.

I want to note in advance that this post will be cishet-centric, not because I think straight experiences are universal, partly because the behavior of cishet men is what’s at task here, but mostly because I have no idea how these issues affect LGBTQIA communities. If anyone is able and willing offer insight or resources on that topic, I’d love to hear from you.

I. Autistic men

Having experienced it firsthand, I can say for sure that autistic loneliness is a vicious cycle. By loneliness, I mean a lack of any social connection, not just a lack of romantic or sexual partners. Autism makes social interaction more difficult, which makes it harder to find friends, but, crucially, not having friends also makes social interaction more difficult. More people to interact with means more practice with social interaction; it also means more assistance from comparatively clued-in people who care about us. This vicious cycle can also manifest with respect to a subset of people. For example, an autistic child who only socially interacts with adults may have trouble forming connections with peers. For the purpose of this discussion, I want to focus on the problems this presents for autistic boys who want to interact with girls in their age group.

The scarcity of cross-gender social interaction during childhood need not be framed as a uniquely autistic experience. Societal forces sort us by gender from an incredibly early age, so the vast majority of our social connections in childhood are with people of the same gender. Furthermore, especially during and after adolescence, boys and men are discouraged from being emotionally close with one another. Thus, the norms of masculinity isolate us almost totally from peers of all genders. Our social connections with men must be superficial; our social connections with women must be non-platonic. For those of us who crave the emotional intimacy that our same-gender friendships lack, a romantic relationship is the only socially acceptable opportunity to forming a deep, loving bond with someone close to our own age.

Enter autism (again). Dating, when we hit adolescence, is wholly new to us, and we have been given no opportunity to adjust ourselves to its social norms. Autism makes this a particular challenge, as do gender roles in dating. Since men are supposed to initiate and women are supposed to merely give subtle hints (if not be straight-out “hard to get”), straight autistic men face both the pressure of leaping into an arena that intimidates us, and the bewilderment of not knowing whether it’s working. If I had a crush on you in high school, I probably kept it a secret; if you had a crush on me, I probably didn’t notice.

Worth noting here that none of the things I’ve listed are evidence against autistic men’s actual attractiveness or appeal to women. We are facing access barriers that accumulate over the course of our lives until we finally figure out how to start ripping them down, and when we do, we quite often do get to have romantic and sexual relationships. But the prevailing narrative about autism and other disabilities is that they’re unsexy, and a lot of autistic men buy into that. I myself thought I was one of those autistic men who’d never date or have sex until experience taught me otherwise.

Knowing all this, we can see why a lot of autistic men might feel both that they need a relationship to be happy, and that they cannot possibly have one. This makes us prime targets for recruitment, because the sense of personal injury at being deprived of sexual experiences for reasons beyond one’s control is as indispensable an ingredient in the various movements of the “manosphere” as the sexism itself. It’s not that autistic men are any more or any less sexist than regular men, but that the sexists among us already feel exactly the way these communities require them to feel: deeply aggrieved, and deeply desperate. Pickup artistry both validates this sense of personal injury, and sells itself as the solution: a set of simple, logical rules that, when followed, will grant success. But it misses the uncomfortable truth that while everyone deserves to receive love, no particular person is obliged to give it. This is a deeply frustrating contradiction with no easy solution, but the solution certainly is not to cynically manipulate women into doing the thing you want.

III. Allistic women

I never was a pickup artist, but that doesn’t mean I never harbored a grievance against women for my loneliness. After all, I thought, wouldn’t my perpetual singleness end if women were more direct and assertive? As such, I worry that other people who read this may end up pinning the responsibility for autistic loneliness onto individual women too. The previous section hints at why that’s wrong, but I also want to take the time to explain why it’s deeply unfair.

My autism and masculinity were first brought into conjunction (or was it conflict?) in my mind in my freshman year of college. One of my new Facebook friends shared a Tumblr blog called “Straight White Boys Texting” which was a collection of screenshots of unwanted straight white boy texts, running the gamut from simple inability to take a hint to bona fide “what color is your thong” garbage. I felt pretty attacked, partly because I wasn’t yet used to seeing myself as part of a “straight white boys” collective that people didn’t like, and partly because what I saw was a bunch of guys missing social cues and taking things literally, just as a younger me would have done. I felt like I needed to say something - and boy, was that a bad decision. I said something about how the women in the screenshots needed to be more direct, and got instant (and deserved) backlash both for focusing on the least important problem in the interactions and for placing responsibility for a male behavior problem squarely back onto women.

At the time, I didn’t have a coherent framework for understanding sexism. Since then, I’ve learned that giving a direct no can occasionally get women killed, and most often at least gets them yelled at and insulted. Giving a yes also comes with its own risks - the risk of rape, in (unfortunately-not-actually-so-)extreme cases where that inch of “yes” results in guys taking a mile, but also the more pervasive risk of being socially stigmatized as slutty or promiscuous. It’s often the most women can get away with to be subtle (rather than completely silent) about all of their wants and needs, so that a discerning man who actually cares will know what those wants and needs are and respect them.

This puts those of us who have trouble with reading subtle signals in a difficult position if we inadvertently cross a boundary, but that’s not a problem women can reasonably be expected to solve. If a man crosses a woman’s boundaries because he simply doesn’t respect them, he wants to make it look like it’s an accident so that he will be forgiven. “But Aaron,” you might say, “didn’t you just say that the right thing to do in those situations is to teach people the right behavior, not ignore it?” Yes, that’s true. But that assumes the continuation of a conversation that a woman might feel safer just skipping; if a man is making her feel uncomfortable, she’s probably not inclined to continue to converse with him in order to establish whether his intentions were good or bad. When we impose the burden of freeing males from loneliness onto women, we are asking them to continue to interact with frightening men at their own peril.

Ironically enough, some of these frightening men are the autistic pickup artists from part 1. This means that pickup artists, far from “solving” the problems with dating they feel aggrieved by, are actually making it more difficult for everyone except themselves by giving women one more reason to be scared and cynical, and men who slip up one more type of monster to be mistaken for.

IV. Autistic women

At first glance, it seems like there’s a choice to be made here, between supporting autistic men who want to be valued as potential romantic and sexual partners and supporting allistic women who just want to be safe. But what I’m realizing more and more is that when there seems to be a conflict between the needs of two marginalized groups, the right choice is generally to avoid picking a side and instead find ways to support both groups. This works well, not only because both groups get what they want, but because if a side must be chosen, the people at the intersection of the two groups will lose both ways.

Autistic women bear the brunt of every part of this mess, as described in detail by Kassiane Asasumasu on her blog, Radical Neurodivergence Speaking (see  the links later in this paragraph). Because autistic men fear ableism from neurotypical women, we tend to believe that autistic women are the only partners who will accept us for who we are. As a result, autistic women report being swarmed at autism meetup groups by men looking for a girlfriend, and those men who struggle with independent living are more than willing to escape that by leaning on the patriarchal expectation that the woman does all the chores, even when she is an autistic woman who struggles with the exact same tasks. This means autistic women actually interact with sexist autistic men the most, and not only are they subject to the same toxic shit that allistic women have to deal with, but they’re also expected to “understand” these men and thus endlessly tolerate their (supposedly inevitable) shitty behavior.

V. Solutions

Fortunately, the choice between female safety and autistic desirability is not a choice we have to make, but the solutions are not as simple as members of one or the other group simply choosing to behave differently. Rather, they require the collective participation of all kinds of people.

Addressing autistic male sexism necessarily means addressing sexism. It means respecting when women say no, rather than making it an unpleasant experience they might fear to repeat. It means teaching consent in special education classrooms, so that no one can claim in good faith that an autistic boy who crosses a boundary simply doesn’t know better. It means teaching girls, as they grow into women, that they are under no obligation to tolerate sexist behavior out of sympathy for the sexist man.

But addressing sexism also means supporting boys and men as they escape the confines of conventional masculinity. It means enabling and encouraging them to have close friends of all genders. It means reminding them that they don’t need a woman, any more than a woman needs a man.

In addition to addressing sexism, we need to address the ableism that prevents autistic people from accessing not just dating but emotional closeness of all kinds. We need to stimulate autistic people’s peer relationships at all stages of life. We cannot do this if special ed teachers continue to view us as broken allistic people rather than whole autistic people, nor can we do it if they view us as incomplete adults rather than entire children. If an autistic boy is unable to learn about condoms because it offends the sensibilities of the teacher, or if he is unable to learn how to talk like a teenager because his parents would like him to learn to speak like an adult, then that autistic boy is being deprived both of autonomy and of the opportunity to learn.

Furthermore, we need to teach allistic children how to interact with their autistic peers. Autistic people need no additional incentive to learn how to interact with the societal majority who control their access to jobs, housing, healthcare, education, political representation, and much more. Allistic people can, however, choose not to bother learning how to support and include us and face almost no social consequences beyond not getting to see my cool maps. Rather than alleviating this unequal distribution of incentives, adults generally exacerbate it by focusing only on the social development of autistic children with respect to interactions with allistic people, but not on the social development of allistic children towards being able to interact with autistic people. This is because the prevailing view regarding autism is still that our modes of moving through the world are incorrect and defective, whereas allistic modes of social interaction are viewed as normal and valid even when they exclude others.

The problem of autistic male sexism is hairy and complicated, but if we take the above steps, we can solve it without further stigmatizing autism, and without victim-blaming women. We don’t have to leave anyone behind in this conversation. Rather, by fighting both for autism acceptance and consent culture, we can produce a more just world where everyone gets the love and respect that they deserve.

[ffxiv-ariavitali]

#12: Whimsy

- [whimsy]: noun; "capricious humor or disposition; extravagant, fanciful, or excessively playful expression;" "an odd or fanciful notion;" or "a product of playful or capricious fancy."

- References to the level 50-60 LTW and BSM job quests, the moogle beast tribe story line up to level 7 reputation and the side quests available after completion of the New Nest in the Firmament.

- shameless use of writing prompt to introduce a new OC complimentary to my WoL that will be featured in future pieces, Rayne "Echoes" Cowen.

[May or may not have gotten carried away with this one. Hope you enjoy! ^_^”]

AO3 ver.

-

“I beg your pardon?” Aymeric answered aghast.

Ser Handeloup enjoyed the expression the lord commander gave, for it certainly mirrored the one that he certainly had made when he made his own discovery.

“Indeed, Ser Aymeric,” the second commander responded. “To think, the vaunted Warrior of Light and savior of Ishgard had not only treated with the moogles and House Dzaemel to restore Bahrr Lehs to its former glory, but she single-handedly brought honor to House Jervaint by crafting the equipment she uses to this day. Not to mention that she had worked together with Mistress Elde of the Mercantile association in the Crozier to bring about the case of the leather armor-”

“That was Aria, as well?” the lord commander gaped, his eyes wide with surprise.

“An unexpected development, is it not?” Handeloup answered with a bellow of laughter.

Aymeric leaned back against his seat at the war table in the middle of the Congregation of Knights Most Holy. He had wondered how in Halone’s name the quality of equipment fashioned had increased exponentially, thus increasing the morale of the Temple Knights overall. Moreover, he expected the restoration of the Firmament to take a miserly length of time to complete - only to find that the ideal checkpoint drafted and proposed by Lord Francel had reached completion in the matter of a few moons. Then, there was the young miss from House Jervaint that Handeloup was speaking of, an unpolished gem with such prodigious skill that would have gone unnoticed had it not been for an unknown sponsor fashioning the tools she needed to attend their scouting event. 

“She seems to be quite a number of steps ahead of even you, my lord,” Aymeric heard Lucia tease at his opposite side.

“Indeed…”

The doors to the Congregation had opened and the three lifted their attentions upward to find a rather tall Hyuran male with hair like red wine and heterochromatic eyes the colors of night and day. When the man found that he was being stared at, he raised a brow in their direction and approached them.

“Greetings, Master Echoes,” Aymeric welcomed him with a kind smile. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

The man known as ‘Echoes’ bowed politely in the lord commander’s direction.

“Greetings, Lord Aymeric. I have come to deliver something to Ser Handeloup on behalf of my lady.”

The company was quite aware of this man’s relationship to the Warrior of Light - rather, Rayne "Echoes" Cowen was an outcast found in the middle of nowhere, fighting to survive, when Aria had run into him. Treated him with the respect that any living individual deserves to be treated, as well as cure him of mortal wounds that would have otherwise ended his life.  Thus did the man pledge his loyalties to her, allowing only her the use of his true name, and was stationed in Ishgard at her behest, working on behalf of Aria’s birthright and to ensure that Aymeric was taking care of himself. Lucia was eternally grateful.

So, they watched the respected man as he procured a pouch from his pockets, placed it on the wooden war table and slid it towards the second commander. When it reached him, Handeloup retrieved it, mildly startled by its weight, before peering inside.

“Why, this is-!” the man exclaimed, then ogled the man.

Echoes inclined his head. “My lady wishes to invest in Lady Jervaint’s talents. As such, she requests that all of her arms and weaponry needs are to be billed to House Lukos. That is, until the day she completes her training and obtains knighthood. She hopes that the amount withheld in that coinpurse is enough for the course of a moon-”

“Never you mind a moon, Master Echoes, this is enough to last half a year!” Handeloup exclaimed, then shifted to present the pouch to the lord- and first commander.

Echoes raised a brow lazily. “Is that so? Then I have utmost faith that it will be used efficiently.”

Echoes bowed once more and turned to leave, but Aymeric rushed to his feet.

“Please, wait a moment, Master Echoes!”

Stopping in his tracks, Echoes turned back to the man.

“Simply ‘Echoes’ is fine, my lord. I could not possibly accept such honorable words from the one my lady finds favor in.”

Aymeric flinched, startled by the man’s fervent fealty to his beloved. “Th-then, Echoes, please tell me - do you happen to know if Aria is returned to the city?”

Echoes smiled. “Indeed, my lord. However, she urged me not to bring the matter up as she was sure you and yours would be rather occupied at this moment.”

“Do you know where she is at this moment?”

“Yes. She is currently entertaining the children within the Firmament. She will most likely remain there until the sun sets.”

Aymeric shifted his gaze towards Lucia and the woman sighed heavily.

“You do not have an appointment important enough that it cannot wait until the 'morrow,” she answered.

Aymeric’s eyes beamed. “Wonderful! Then, let us pay our dear warrior a visit, shall we?”

The lord commander turned towards Echoes expectantly and the man bowed once more.

“Very good, my lord. Now, if you would.”

The three commanders followed the man out of the Congregation and through the Brume. Eyes followed them, curious to why the renowned Ser Aymeric was strolling about and even Thomelin, the gatekeeper of the Firmament, was startled by the esteemed personage entering. The sight of Echoes did well to keep him from panicking, allowing a rather smooth entry.

Aymeric’s eyes widened. He had heard the New Nest had been completed, but he hadn’t imagined just how beautiful its designs were. As he followed Echoes, he couldn't help but gawk at every building, every staircase and railing that he could, committing it all to memory. Every now and then, he would spy the excited expressions of the inhabitants and the cheers that marked both happiness and hope. The fruit of all their labor - by the Fury, it was all falling to place.

“Here we are, Rolanberry Field,” Echoes announced.

Aymeric, Lucia and Handeloup admired the artistry of the estate. The walls were built on such evenly cut stone and the structure wastes no space on the plot it rested on. Even through the closed doors, the company could hear laughs of glee and delight emanating from it and it made their hearts feel so full.

“Ah, Master Echoes is back,” a voice called out.

The group turned and found a small Elezen girl carrying bolts of cloth in an assortment of colors, as well as find a wicker basket hanging from her arm besides. Upon further inspection, Aymeric and Lucia recognized the small girl to be Maelie, the child that had been tossed off the roof of the Vault during the dreadful day the Brothers of True Faith had held poor citizens hostage within its walls.

“Oh, and so is Ser Aymeric and Ser Lucia!” the girl exclaimed, becoming panicked and yet excitable.

Echoes didn’t hesitate to step towards the girl and stretch his arms out to gather half that the girl was carrying. Maelie smiled wide, grateful for the help.

“Do not be alarmed, Miss Maelie. They are also here to see the lady.”

“Oh!” Maelie turned towards the lord commander and quickly stepped towards him. “Then you’re just in time! Lady Aria is inside and teaching us arts and crafts!”

Aymeric’s smile grew all the fonder. “Is she now? Would you bring us to her? We do not wish to interrupt the class - we simply wish to welcome her home.”

“In that case, we should hurry! We ran out of materials, so Lady Aria had given us coin to purchase more. Everyone’s waiting!”

The girl bounced in her heel and rushed inside the building. Aymeric turned to Echoes and the Hyur male only gave a satisfied grin before he followed the small girl inside. The others mirrored his movements.

The moment the four entered, there was a sudden quiet that was quite opposite of what they had originally heard. That was, until they heard Maelie’s voice echoing against the walls and the subsequent bellows of gratitude from other children at the sight of her haul. There was the sound of rummaging, of children dividing the materials between themselves and when they had crossed the hall into the room they were residing in, they found children gathered before the Warrior of light, watching intently as the woman held an embroidery hoop in her hands, along with a needle and thread.

“Be careful as you stitch the patterns, everyone,” Aria reminded them. “It will not do for you to harm yourselves while practicing. If you are not confident, we have thimbles to protect your fingers.”

“Miss Aria, can you show me how to do this pattern again?” a small boy asked of her.

“Oh, Peyraquile, of course. You do it like this.”

The boy named Peyraquile, as well as two others - a girl wearing a blue winter coat and a boy wearing a grey urban coat - leaned in. Everyone, even children that hadn’t asked the question, watched as the woman weaved the needle in and out of the cloth that Peyraquile presented to her - slow enough for them to pay careful attention, but not as slow as to make them dreadfully bored. When she was finished, she turned back to the child.

“Does that help, my dear?” she asked.

Peyraquile nodded quickly and took the hoop back. “Yes, it does! Thank you, Miss Aria!”

The three children nodded and retreated back to their spot. In that time, three gentlemen wearing red anemos long sleeves and craftsman’s pants stepped to Aymeric’s side from the other direction as they peered into the room.

“My lady, we finished the outer frame of the structure as you have instructed. Do you have the time to inspect it before we move on to the next step?”

“Ah, Rasequin, of course-”

Aria stopped mid-sentence when she followed the direction of the voice and found not only the caretakers present, but the lord speaker of Ishgard in accompaniment of the first and second commander standing by. The sight gave her slight surprise before she sighed and stood to her feet.

“I will be with you a moment, Rasequin, Gontrandoix, Pehainel. In the meantime, please prepare the materials for the next step of construction. Rayne, do you mind watching after the children for a moment?” she asked.

Echoes nodded. “As you wish, my lady.”

Aria shifted her head, motioning for the remaining three individuals to follow and she led them into the kitchen. She quickly prepared Ishgardian tea for them and set delicate teacups before them on the table.

“Please, help yourselves,” she urged.

They did just so as Aria sat at the table with them, watching the three fondly as she propped her head up with her arm, leaning against it ever so slightly.

“I assume you have no qualms with my investment in Lady Jervaint?” she questioned.

Handeloup bellowed in laughter. “Nay, my lady, none at all! Rather, we were rather bewildered on how you manage to continuously surprise us. The lord commander the most!”

Aria shifted her gaze to Aymeric and the man looked horrified hearing that his second commander sold him out almost immediately. Fighting back the burning behind his pink-dusted cheeks, he cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly at the warrior.

“Indeed. You have given so much to Ishgard already, Ia. Such things-”

Aria raised a hand to interrupt.

“Ishgard is also my home, Aym. I will have none of that. Not only is it the duty of a citizen in this beautiful nation to aid where needed, I wish to make use of my talents and knowledge as such. Plus, ‘tis not as if I am spoiling them, as you can see with the fine gentlemen you met earlier.”

“Are they perchance the caretakers of this place, my lady?” Lucia asked.

Aria nodded. “Indeed. They asked for my assistance in creating a playground of sorts for the children. I taught them how to perform basic woodwork and smithing techniques so that they could fare on their own. They only ask of me to check on their work because one cannot be too careful.”

“And the children?” Aymeric asked. “They requested they teach you embroidery?”

Aria chuckled softly at that, a playful and entertained smile stretched upon her lips. “Nay, my dear. They requested to be taught ways they can contribute to the Restoration effort. They came together beforehand and some of them decided that selling custom handkerchiefs as staples of Ishgardian artistry to be exported would be a good idea. Who am I to deny them such ambitions when they are so eager to learn?”

Handeloup hummed, markedly impressed as he leaned back on his seat and crossed his arms.

“What a splendid idea, my lady. And you say they came up with the idea of their own accord?”

Aria nodded. “Indeed.” Aria stood on her feet and offered a curt bow towards the three. “Now, pardon me for my rudeness, but I shall return soon. I mean to inspect the work the fine caretakers have done so they may continue on their project. Ah, but feel free to stay as long as you like. Rayne?”

At the call of his name, Echoes had stepped from around the corner and into the room to join them. He bowed respectively towards Aria before she departed to do as she said she would. It was then that Handeloup found courage to ask what they were all thinking.

“Speak true, Master Echoes, how is it that Lady Aria is so motivated to complete such large tasks?”

Aymeric leaned in where he sat, eager to learn the answer, as well. Echoes pondered over the question, cupping his chin thoughtfully as he had done so.

“Well, if it is my lady, I would assume she is viewing all of this as a game.”

Lucia raised a brow skeptically. “A game?”

Echoes nodded his head. “Yes, Ser Lucia. Recently, Lord Stryder had caught wind of dissenters looking to stain Lord Aymeric’s good name as lord speaker of Ishgard. When my lady heard of this, she was quite furious, you see. So, she challenged the noble houses that were against Lord Aymeric - that if certain requisites were not met within a given time, she will not interfere with any further attempt they would have if they were to put a motion forward to have him step down.”

Lucia jumped to her feet, almost slamming her fist to the table. “That is-!”

“Just as you feel, Ser Lucia,” Echoes answered with an incline of his head. “Unfortunately for them, they only see House Lukos as a middle-ranked noble house with nary a connection to the upper echelons because of their prolonged absence from the country. Moreover, my lady issued the challenge with Lord Stryder as the intermediary - therefore they are unawares that it was actually the Warrior of Light, with all the support of the four High Houses and the Mercantile association of the Jeweled Crozier, not to mention the entire realm besides, that they have challenged.  So, she has rather taken her time ensuring that the lords would, for lack of a better way of putting it, ‘stew in their mistakes’, as Ser Estinien would say.”

Aymeric, Lucia and Handeloup stared at the man as if he had grown a second before the lord commander pressed his hand against his face and released a helpless laugh.

“Boosting our economy, putting down opposition in a way that maintains their honor as a noble house, raising the status of her own and rebuilding the city-state to a level above its former glory … and she perceives it as a game.”

Echoes smiled pleasantly at the sight of the three’s exhaustion and Aymeric was then reminded of the character of the woman that he had fallen in love with. Benevolent as Halone herself and as punishing as the Fury when angered. As astute as the most knowledgeable of academics…

...and as whimsical as the very definition of the word can get.

[butterflydm]

The Untamed Rewatch (ep 8)

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I have added a rewatch-specific tag to these posts: cql rewatch. I’ll only put rewatch posts in that tag!

At the beginning of this episode, we sort of rewind a bit before we continue the scene from the ending of ep7. We find out that before he visited the bunnies, WWX went to say goodbye to Wen Ning only to find out that he'd already left. I'm sure this increased his suspicions of Wen Qing, due to the timing — he and Lan Zhan find out what the mountain was hiding and she immediately leaves? Suspicious, indeed.

For most of this scene, WWX is gentle with the bunnies (until his siblings show and then he just chucks a rabbit at Jiang Cheng which 100% made me flinch). He also essentially uses their silence as a sounding board for his own thinking process, where he's thinking aloud and supplies their answers for them. His reaction here is, I think, both about him thinking of himself and Lan Zhan as a team — they're supposed to do this together! — but also, independently, about his own desire to keep his promise to Lan Yi. The lantern scene in the last episode shows both sides of that — he makes the promise with the lantern but is also making a point of wanting Lan Zhan to be part of that promise and not have to do things alone.

After the sibs show up, we also get the first iteration of Jiang Yanli's character throughline, which is her desire to keep (her) family together, when she talks about how she wouldn't want them to take a bunny home because it would miss its family. Jiang Yanli's deep devotion to her family, especially her brothers, is a theme we will return to often in the future — and leads, ultimately, to her sacrificing her life to save her brother's. But here it is just a sweet character note.

LWJ saying goodbye to the bunnies is short but it's a lovely little scene.

The scene where Wen Chao comes to try to threaten Lan Xichen is mostly about setting out the stakes — that Lan Wangji is vulnerable now that he's left the Cloud Recesses and that the Cloud Recesses themselves are not invulnerable. Wen Chao is a bully, so he's big on threats when he feels like he's in a position of power. He speaks with the weight of his father's power behind him right now, so it's easy for him to make threats. He also very much wants to prove himself to his father, since he knows there are others in his father's court who are very ruthless.

WWX has taken off after LWJ and he signs his little note that he left behind for his family with a smiley face. I love him. Jiang Yanli knows immediately that WWX must have something more serious in mind than just a night-hunt. Jiang Cheng, though, took the note at face value, which is an indicator for their future behavior when it comes to WWX's post-burial mounds behavior. And JFM, of course, knows about the Yin Metal stuff, so I'm guessing he made his own assumptions about what WWX is doing.

And Wei Wuxian is out of the white guest disciple robes and into his own color scheme. Though, here he doesn't wear black but instead wears a deep blue, very similar to the color that Jiang Fengmian wears, though he accents with red instead of light blue.

It does connect WWX visually with JFM in a way that his two bio-kids are not, though Jiang Yanli's light blue accents do match her father's. WWX was cute in the guest disciple robes, but the dark colors do really work for him. From what I can see of the layering, it's a red inner robe, then the dark blue with black accents (where LWJ has his cloud embroidery on his own outfit). It's interesting because when I was just thinking of WWX's 'signature colors', it was black and red that came to mind, but this is definitely a very deep blue that echoes JFM's clothes.

WWX is here to lecture LWJ on trying to do the Yin Metal quest on his own. He accuses LWJ of wanting all the credit of being a hero, which LWJ takes as seriously as it deserves (not at all). And now that LWJ is off on his own, he's also wearing blue, though a much lighter shade, with white accents. This leads into the bonding/binding talismen scene, which I like on a few different levels. To start with, it feels like a physical/magical expression of WWX's desires in general — he wants LWJ to treat him like an equal in this journey. He wants to be closer to him, expressed here in physical distance, but WWX makes it clear he means emotionally as well. And LWJ resists because, for him, the closeness is a red flag of a whole bunch of emotional potential that he, at this point, does not want to let himself feel but WWX's entire personality and presence basically mean he's gonna be forced to.

So… in the town, they meet up with Nie Huaisang and I think… was WWX not actually kicked out of classes early? Maybe the lantern ceremony was actually the end of the studies for the guest disciples? Because Nie Huaisang has also left Gusu. And the conversation implies studies are over for all guest disciples. Now I'm trying to think of why I assumed he had been kicked out early — is that a book thing that enough posts implied must have also happened in CQL, maybe? Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian laugh at each other for not going straight back home after the end of studies, then NHS notices that LWJ is there and he's concerned.

At Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng is sneaking out to go find WWX when his sister catches up with him. And because I'm noticing these things now, Jiang Cheng has dark blue inner robes with lighter blue over them and darker accents, while Jiang Yanli has white inner robes with lavender on top and darker purple accents.

Anyway, he thinks she's there to scold him or tell him to stay but she's just here to warn Jiang Cheng to be careful on his journey, much like we had the inner thoughts of Lan Xichen hoping that his little brother would be careful. Jiang Cheng isn't as noisy about it as WWX, but he also obviously craves his older sister's approval as well.

Hmm, I hadn't given enough thought to Jiang Yanli-Lan Xichen potential parallels before now, but they do both fit into the niche of protective and concerned older sibling (along with Wen Qing). I'm… going to think about that some more. Lan Xichen is definitely in a confidant type role to Lan Wangji, much as Jiang Yanli is to Wei Wuxian. They are both better at 'reading' the truth of their younger brother's emotions than pretty much anyone else is. And they're both calmer personality types, too.

Lan Wangji may be feeling a little left out now that NHS has joined their journey — once Nie Huaisang shows up, WWX is basically all over him, hanging around his shoulder and calling him Nie-xiong again. But WWX has not forgotten about LWJ at all — he notices when LWJ stops walking, and then grabs his wrist and tugs him along when LWJ hesitates because of the crowd. When they talk about poetry, we learn as a character note, that while NHS can't memorize the Lan Sect rules, he is very capable of remembering things that actually interest him, like stories about poetry, etc.

We do also see here that NHS has genuine admiration for LWJ — he isn't just intimidated by him, though he is a bit, he also admires his grace and elegance. Which makes a lot of sense, of course. A large part of NHS's character is his admiration of beauty and artistry. Of course he notices those traits in LWJ!

WWX turns it into a bit of a teasing thing, and NHS is very indignant about WWX's inability to admire LWJ's aesthetic beauty (he might also be thinking about how his own robes are actually whiter than LWJ's are at the moment), but then WWX steals another look at LWJ and smiles a little and doesn't look away until NHS elbows him (gently).

The three of them go to investigate the poetry story situation but they find an empty house and trampled flowers. NHS notices a feather on the ground and recognizes it as being from the shadow-bird that the Wens use to spy. Okay, so THIS is where the last piece of Yin Metal was. There was one with the Wen Qing goddess, one in the Cloud Recesses, one with the Chang clan, one here with this flower-poetry family (... I didn't catch their name), and then the last (unknown by pretty much everyone) piece with the murder turtle.

Okay, and this is what prompts WWX to tell NHS about the Yin Metal. That makes sense. He knows that Nie Mingjue knows, and now NHS has essentially been dragged into a potentially dangerous situation without much knowledge about it. So, I think it's fair and makes a lot of sense for WWX to read NHS in on the situation, given that he is the sect leader's brother and potentially now at risk. NHS is concerned about their safety while WWX is more concerned about the mission and his partnership with LWJ — and he makes it clear here that he doesn't consider telling NHS about the fragment as adding him to that partnership.

I am also intrigued by the mini-foreshadowing of NHS asking WWX to come to Qignhe for his safety. Someone who cares about WWX and is worried about his safety as he travels a dangerous path, asks him to come home with them so he can be safer. Huh. They discover here that they're being spied on by the Wen shadow-bird, so it doesn't go any further than that.

Okay, okay, I think I have the whole goddess-connection the way they did in the drama figured out. I mean, the reasons why they did it that way. Because they wanted a more straight-forward chronological narrative, they needed to add more plots to the younger storyline, but they didn't want to make up too many things out of whole cloth. So, they took the events that had happened in the present timeline and moved them to the past but made sure to have NHS there for this particular episode so that he would experience this event with WWX and LWJ. This creates an empty space in the present-day timeline that can be easily filled in with NHS once all the information is in place — NHS saw the goddess when she was active, we saw the fan behind the screen in episode 1 — so it's about placing NHS at the scene, essentially, imo. That's my theory.

Wen Qing is trying to figure out how to foil Wen Chao's plans without alerting him. Is it because of a fondness for WWX or, at this point, does she just feel like she owes him for what he did and was willing to do to protect her brother? When Jiang Cheng arrives, she realizes she has a chance, but she wants to try to be discreet (I think this ends up not working in that sense? Wen Chao realizes she's to blame, I believe. We'll see!). So she doesn't return his greeting (and he is happy when he initially sees her) and plays the echo game, essentially, to make him feel like she's mocking him, so that she can get up in his face and give him a private message without, hopefully, alerting the Wen guards that she's doing it.

Oh, is this Dafan Mountain lady the same 'granny' that takes care of Wen Yuan later on? I feel like she is and it would make sense given that this is Wen Qing and Wen Ning's original home. I do like the spooky atmosphere that's set up here. The actual effects and acting from the extras we get when the trap is 'triggered' essentially doesn't live up to the set-up, but I feel like a lot of that is budget issues, so I sympathize.

I don't, in general, have a lot to say about fight scenes, though this fight does have some visual echoes to the later fight with the Xuanwu, which I found interesting.

As to the puppeting of the off-shoot Wen clan here… I guess this is Wen Chao using the fragment of Yin Metal he has recently acquired? So their excessive slowness we can potentially attribute to him not being very good at it? I mean, the real reason is budgeting issues, I'm sure, but I can kinda squint and make it work. They aren't scary, though.

Next episode: the road trip/treasure hunt continues!

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[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

Post #63, MarDe Brooks--Running Out of Time

Reviewed by Lyssa Culbertson

“Way back on the radio dial The fire got lit inside a bright-eyed child Every note just wrapped around his soul From steel guitars, to Memphis, all the way to rock and roll” -Eli Young Band

Every time I hear “Even If It Breaks Your Heart” by the Eli Young Band pass through my playlist, my mind cannot help but wander to the trajectory HHMR alum MarDe Brooks has had over the past couple of years. It is impressive what an ample amount of hard work, determination, faith, and if we are honest, an iota of craziness will manifest when it comes to chasing dreams. If you are unfamiliar with MarDe’s story, let me fill you in:

The Alabama born and bred singer-songwriter recently released his debut album, Running Out of Time, after a lifetime of desire to share his musical gifts with the world. Perhaps the album title is a nod to the notion of growing older and time slipping away, leaving you with no choice but to shelve your dreams or take a chance and live them with all you’ve got—but MarDe need not worry. With the impeccable artistry he possesses and a knack for heartfelt, honest songwriting, we’ll be hearing more out of him for years to come. With an practically permanent smile as wide as the Rio Grande and an electric energy radiating from him every time he steps on stage, he possesses an often unmatched zeal for his work that will surely keep him on everyone’s radar. His sound is as eclectic as he is, and that is the utmost compliment in my book. As I said in the review of his first single, “Memories,” MarDe cannot be caged by a genre, for this powerhouse of a songbird sings to the tune of whatever is in his heart—whether that’s a slow sentimental ballad about life on the road, or a rockin’ up-tempo song about love gone wrong. Running Out of Time has something to love for everyone, but odds are you’ll love it from the beginning of the “Memories” you’ll make whilst listening, to the last “Curtain Call.” Answering the desires of his soul to create his own original music, the collection of ten songs were written and composed in just under a year, and within the next year the record was recorded and MarDe hit the highway sharing his stories with anyone who would listen. On September 11, 2020, he added fuel to the fire that got lit inside the bright-eyed child of his youth when he debuted his first album to the world.

When listening to this record both as a whole and dissecting each individual song, it’s quite easy to hear the various musical influences that have helped shape MarDe into the artist he is. However, he infuses those notes of blues, old time rock-and-roll, country, southern rock, folk, and more into sound all his own. The first track on the record, “Memories,” incorporates all of these styles in a up-beat tune set against a bit of a dark subject matter. A failed relationship takes its toll and leads to self-destruction, but if you only listen to the melody, you wouldn’t have a clue. I love how MarDe plays a lyrical and musical trick on the listener’s ear on this one, and it was a solid first choice for a single release, as it showcases both his songwriting ability and musicality. Heading to the opposite end of the romantic spectrum, the next track, “Slow Time,” is a beautiful ballad that will transport you back to a time to when life ran at a slower pace, perhaps on the riverbank next to a loved one watching the summer clouds roll in, where nothing but the love you were in mattered. Speaking of rolling in, “I’ve Got Memphis” is one of the standouts on the record, as it details the feelings of a traveling musician counting the miles wearing on both the road and his soul. As a music lover with a heavy dose of Gypsy in my soul, when MarDe sings “Oklahoma calls out to me, and I miss that Kentucky high, I’d love to stay in Alabama, but I’ve got Memphis tomorrow night,” it resonates with me on a spiritual level. I love the sound of four wheels spinning down an open highway, but occasionally every mile marker makes me weary and I just want to be home, though there’s always another show down the road and work to be done. It’s a sentimental tune about the highs and lows of this life and is just so powerful. Track number four, “Down the Road,” happens to be one of my favorites off the record—it’s a total jam with an infectious groove that just won’t let go, much like how he bemuses the difficulty of letting go of his beloved and moving on in the tune. The way he once again juxtaposes an upbeat melody with a somewhat somber subject matter intrigued me from the first verse of the song, and I was hooked. We’ve all been there—in love with someone that it kills us to let go of, though we know we’re better off leaving them in our rearview. I admire how MarDe can write about real life situations with such clarity and cleverness.

As evidenced by the previous tracks mentioned, MarDe has such a versatile voice where one moment he can have you high on life singing along and the next morose and feeling every bit of heartache his vocals are seeped with on a song like “Home,” one of the most compelling works on the album. The imagery is quite vivid, as you can easily picture the man in the song with his “hands on the sink, face down to the floor” ruminating over his life. As I’ve listened to this song, it dawned on me that the character in the song was not simply speaking to a lost lover, but to the man in the mirror as well, because all too often we can break our own hearts by our choices with the aid of the demons we face. For many, alcohol can be one of those demons; however, as shown by MarDe’s joyful vibes in “Fifth by Noon,” sometimes it can be just the cure a man needs to patch up a broken heart. This tune is my favorite to see performed live because of the energy MarDe harnesses as he brings the song to life. A little ditty about the healing powers found in a fifth of your favorite whisky and good friends, the line “everything will be alright if I down a fifth by noon” has the possibility to become an adage for centuries to come. Likely not the wisest piece of advice, but one most can certainly empathize with if we’re honest. When he sings “I used to lay you down like Conway at night, but now you’re out there girl and you’re making different music tonight, so here’s an idea, why don’t you stay, yeah that’s where you made you made your bed and that’s where you can lay” it’s loud and clear how he feels about the woman in question—and I’m absolutely here for it. Such a killer, feisty verse that makes me cackle as I belt it out every time! The guitar solo prefacing the semi-acapella portion of the song backed by a chorus of voices and a drumline are my favorite parts of the song because it drives the point home and is so fun to jam out to.

Reflecting back on the record to this point, it’s easy to see the thematic presence of sorrow woven throughout the lyrics. Despite the best efforts we tend to put into anything in life, what we deserve is not always what the universe sends our way. Track number seven, “Earned,” is a prime lyrical example of that fact, especially in relation to futile relationships we may feel that we got the short end of the stick in, so to speak, because “even if you do things the right way, you don’t always get what is earned.” A heart is a fragile thing, and love is even more delicate, as heard in “On My Way.” MarDe croons “rules are made to be broken, but hearts aren’t the same, so many words left unspoken, could have silenced the pain” to a lover he’s leaving behind—and that is such a poignant line about the importance of communication. Quite frequently, it’s the words we do not say that could salvage important connections or bring closure to difficult goodbyes. His voice is soft and melodic on this tune, highlighting every bit of emotion involved, notably when he sings in the bridge “I couldn’t see through the flames when I promised my life, but all that smoke cleared just in time.” Every time I hear that particular lyric a single tear escapes my eye because I’ve lived that line and the emotions connected are just so painful—It hurts so good.

Although words sometimes possess the power to save relationships, they also have the power to destroy them. In the case of “Liar,” MarDe appears to be addressing a friend or mentor, rather than a past lover. “Your lies won’t let you tell the truth, you looked down on me, I looked up to you, you dig your hole try to pull me in the ground, you had your chance but it’s all over now”—WOW. In spite of the rather calm melody, the anger and disappointment boils over in every verse of this good riddance themed song, as he’s “on [his] way to the top now, and you can’t slow [him] down.” I often lightheartedly—but seriously—joke that people should not do wrong by a songwriter, because a song will inevitably be written about the offense, and “Liar” is a prime example of that, tying into the seemingly autobiographical journey MarDe details in the final song on the record, aptly titled “Curtain Call.” It’s a beautiful summation of his ride from the aforementioned bright-eyed dreamer of his youth to the man he is now, steadily achieving lifelong goals—while the highs and lows ebbed and flowed and it wasn’t always easy, the journey was without a doubt worth it, as evidenced by the quality and ultimate success of his first release.

MarDe either wrote or co-wrote every song on Running Out of Time and rounded up a group of gifted musicians to record the album at Rose City Recording in Charleston, WV with producer Greg McGowan. With a heavy dose of the keys, the lead/rhythm guitar, mandolin, violin, bass, drums, and pedal steel played by (in no particular order) musicians Jerimiah Hatfield, Joey Lafferty, Mark Cline Bates, Jeremy “Wood” Roberts, Eric Robbins, David McGuire, Molly Lynn Page, Travis Egnor, and MarDe himself, this record is a unique work of art, reflective of the array of musical styles that encompass the artist MarDe Brooks is. The support from background vocalists Ritch Henderson, Eric Robbins, Jerimiah Hatfield, and Mark Cline Bates adds a spark to each track they are featured on. My only critique of the record is that you cannot truly hear the extent of the passion and range MarDe possesses behind his vocals, as that essence can only be captured live—which is why you must catch him a live show, soon! You can find tour dates, merch, and other important info at www.mardebrooks.com, or you can follow him on Facebook at MarDe Brooks and on Instagram at @mardebrooksmusic.

Peace, love, & music,

Lyssa

————————

*This is an independent review. The Hillbilly Hippie Music Review was not compensated for this review.

*The opinions expressed are solely that of the author(s).

*These images are not ours, nor do we claim them in any way. They are copyrighted by MarDe Brooks & Jimbo Valentine of Amalgam United.

[thecomedybureau]

The 100 Best Things in Comedy We Were Witness to In No Particular Order of 2019

OK, 2019′s officially over and we’ve wrangled our 100 truly favorite things in and around comedy (and it really spans all of comedy) that are not ranked whatsoever. It’s just like the title says and, it’s, as it is every year, quite long, so we won’t waste any more time with this intro. 

Oh, in case you forgot and/or curious and/or need a quick refresher, here’s our 2018 list. 

1. Rory Scovel Live Without Fear-This documentary follows Rory Scovel and his journey through six nights of completely improvised hour sets. In a single word, it’s inspiring. You see the way Scovel truly connects the audience and keeps it that way through his indelible charm and endless curiosity. The near unbelievable story of the Relapse Theater in Atlanta is also beautifully threaded in the doc as well. The clips of the improvised performances capture the magic that stand-up comedy can be that’s absent from the majority of comedy specials. You should be required to see this whenever and wherever it comes if you have any level of interest in comedy at all. 

2. Naomi Ekperigin-From her own stand-up, to her podcast with husband Andy Beckerman, Couples Therapy, and her writing across TV, and everything else she does, Naomi is such an thoroughly commanding, yet delightful presence that we love seeing every time anywhere (and she should already be way bigger of a star already).

3. Cait Raft’s Presentation on “Bradley Cooper’s a Star Is Born Takes Place in an Alternate Reality Where 9/11 Never Happened”-Witnessing the imagination of Cait Raft up close was a privilege for us. This amazing dissection of the zeitgeist left us in stitches and with our mouth agape for how thoroughly it proved its point.

4. Corporate Season 2-The second season of the ultra dark workplace comedy delivered once again on its hysterical nihilistic satire that’s so prescient, yet still so unbelievably funny.

5. Mom-Prov Presents Family Therapy-Improviser Izzy Roland was daring enough to have her mom and her grandmother, both of whom are also in showbiz, to join her on stage for one of the most madcap, fourth wall-breaking, entertaining improv shows we’ve seen all throughout 2019.

6. Jena Friedman-So, this year, Jena delivered yet again with her subtle delivery and calm demeanor that hides her absolutely killer jokes. The follow-up to her Adult Swim special, Soft Focus, upped the ante with an interview of a gun-toting John McAffee and her brilliant Conan set about everyone’s true crime obsession.

7. Brendon Walsh’s Afternoon Delight-This last year, Brendon Walsh let everyone know that he was and still is one of the best at pulling prank calls, which is so much harder now than it was even ten years ago. This live show actually has Brendon place live prank calls in between stand-ups and the ride you go on is absolutely thrilling.

8. Jacqueline Novak’s Get on Your Knees-Novak’s solo show has more than earned its spot as an Off-Broadway show with bringing such an exquisite, almost never before seen comedic sensibility to the topic of blow jobs.

9. #F*ckF*ckJerry-Props to Vulture Senior Editor Megh Wright for sparking the fire to take out the egregious social media accounts of F*ck Jerry that just lifted jokes from comedians all across the Internet without pay or attribution.

10. Lorelei Ramirez-We’ve known distantly about Lorelei Ramirez for so many years, but seeing them up close was a breathtaking experience that had us laughing so hard. Their artistry in comedy that gracefully borders on performance art and even horror is absolutely inspiring.

11. Aaron Urist-Denver’s Aaron Urist is such a killer joke writer and joke teller and has been for years. We just were reminded about that with his burning bush joke during his latest LA trip.

12. Booksmart-Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut was not only a reinvigorated take on movies that specifically hone in on the end of high school, but also had a sincerely hopeful vision of the future generation. We hope that Booksmart finds its way to the top of the coming-of-age comedy films pantheon.

13. Rachel Mac on Lights Out-One of the highlights of Lights Out with David Spade is how unfiltered and raunchy they let comics get during their sets on the show. Rachel Mac took that amount of comedic license and thrived in getting into the nitty gritty about her last teaching job.

14. What We Do In The Shadows-The FX TV adaptation of the seminal Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement film in 2014 exceedingly succeeds in nailing the comedy of minutia in the world of the undead that also happens to be in a (somewhat) grounded reality.

15. PEN15-Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle’s vision of 2000 and their performances as teens were so spot on that PEN15 would deserve acclaim just for that. However, the heart of this show made its humor stand out in an ever crowded field of coming-of-age comedy.

16. Tiffany Haddish’s Black Mitzvah-A lot has happened for Tiffany Haddish since her last special (she’s a legit A-list celebrity now), but it’s clear that she is still her unapologetically positively, life loving self. This special is evidence of that, especially with her bit about her New Year’s show that she got undeserved flack for.

17. Straw Men-Lindsay Adams, Danny Palumbo, and Sam Wiles (and producer Kimmie Lucas) put on what is our favorite imagining of a comedic debate that we’ve seen thus far. The encouragement to make the most ridiculous, baseless arguments and being transparent about the whole thing is a golden goose of comedy.

18. The ending of Gloria Bell-Well, we can’t very well give away the ending to this English language dramedy remake from Sebastián Lelio that has Julianne Moore shine as bright as she has ever shone before, but just know that we stood out of our seats, applauding what she did to John Turturro right at the end.

19. I Think You Should Leave-Tim Robinson’s unflinchingly absurd sketch series unequivocally has many of the best sketches of 2019. The hot dog costume and Mexican restaurant sketches will have us busting up through, very likely, the next decade.

20. Les Miz and Friends-Bonkers (and we mean that in the best way possible) doesn’t begin to describe how wild this meta and great this puppet and human hybrid take on the theater institution of Les Miserables. The sheer cleverness on every level is awe-inspiring. 

21. Dave Ross’ The Only Man Who Has Ever Had Sex-Ross has been a longtime favorite of ours for the contrasting bounciness and darkness of his comedy. His debut album captures this dichotomy perfectly.

22. Nikki Glaser: Bangin’-Nikki Glaser’s first Netflix hour special started off with a bang, pun intended. Her frank, but heartfelt exploration of all facets of sex is so damn funny that Glaser gets away with being as blue as she wants.  

23. Super Dating Simulator-This live, interactive version of various Japanese video game dating simulators is one of the more innovative and surprisingly charming things we saw this year. Creator Sam Weller did a bang-up job not only making a video game work as a stage show, but doing so with a very off-beat sub-genre of video games

24. Emmy Blotnick’s Party Nights-Blotnick’s latest album shows Emmy at the peak of her delightful observational powers. The concept of a “Self-Potato” is just priceless.

25. Tammercise!-Folks in comedy are getting all sorts of clever these days to redefine traditional formats and disciplines and push the art form forward. Madeline Wager does this exquisitely with a solo show of a woman unraveling that doubles as legit aerobics class.

26. The Cherry Orchard w/Chad Damiani and Jet Eveleth-Damiani and Eveleth explore a new angle on postmodern clowning by supposedly doing a Chekov play going through dress rehearsal without any of the players knowing what they’re supposed to do. The back and forth between the live direction and the tomfoolery on stage is truly hysterical.

27. Bake Stuff with Lindsay LIVE-It’s about time for a comedic cooking show that actually does teach you a wonderful recipe and also explores and resolves(?) childhood trauma. Lindsay Adams’ Bake Stuff with Lindsay, which we indeed saw live, accomplishes all of that and inspires all those watching to cook through their feelings.

28. Shalewa Sharpe’s So, You Just Out Here?-Shalewa imbues homespun wisdom with marvelously colorful descriptions all throughout this very satisfying album.

29. The Amazing Johnathan Documentary from Ben Berman-The Amazing Johnathan’s life story is pretty captivating as is. The story about Ben Berman trying to tell his story amidst several other people trying to tell his story is absolutely engrossing and is somehow all true.

30. Julio Torres’ HBO special “My Favorite Shapes”-Torres’ special is simultaneously one of the most daring and silly hour specials in recent memory and his elevation of prop comedy to a whole new level is to be commended.

31. The Underculture with James Adomian-James Adomian has been one of comedy podcasts’ most in-demand and bright shining stars. It comes as no surprise that his own podcast that revs up all his characters has some of the best, most dynamic, absurdist interviews in political and pop culture satire. 

32. Daniel Van Kirk’s Thanks Diane/Together Tour-Van Kirk’s first, complete hour that he both toured with and released as an album is so impressive with how deftly Dan manages a balance of sincerity and mischief from wire-to-wire.

33. Conan in Greenland-Conan marvelously turns his travel specials series Conan Without Borders on its head by attempting to buy Greenland based off of Trump’s stupid tweets.

34. Mary Beth Barone’s Drag His Ass: A F*ckboy Treatment Program-Mary Beth Barone’s live show exploration into her dating life is illuminating and hilarious throughout, but the actual interview that she does live with a “f*ckboy” is transcendent.

35. Obvious Plant’s Carnival of Toys-Jeff Wysaski AKA Obvious Plant really outdid himself this year in his quest to permeate everyday reality with a satirical twist. He not only made a whole line of custom toy figures that satirize pop culture on so many levels, but opened up a whole pop-up museum for several days to exhibit them in all of their bizarre glory.

36. Sports Without Equipment with Coach Keith Alejo-This Dress Up Gang sketch is one of those ideas that are simple, yet so out-of-left-field. Literally, they take sports without equipment to its funniest conclusion.

37. #Squatmelt-Howard Kremer’s desire to keep the spirit of The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail alive has evolved into its own very special thing in the form of a DIY stand-up comedy show/walking tour that periodically migrates around LA.

38. Catch-22-Trying to adapt such a monumental literary work like Catch-22 is almost a fool’s errand, but writers Luke Davies and David Michôd do a smash-up job for not only bringing Heller’s immortal words to life, but also sticking the landing for all the darkly absurdly comical moments that run rampant throughout the story.

39. Get Rich Nick-Even if they didn’t have the fantastic banter, riffs, and asides from the very funny duo of Nick Turner and Nick Vatterott, this podcast that explores how to make money real quick is one of the best new podcasts of the whole year. Fortunately, Nick and Nick’s humor runs rampant through every episode and makes Get Rich Nick engrossing and makes you actually laugh out loud.

40. MK Paulsen-The comedy of MK Paulsen can be faster than a bullet, but as satisfyingly silly as a gun that shoots a flag with the word ‘bang’ on it. Every time we see him do stand-up, it’s a fun, rollicking ride that’s equal parts offbeat whimsy, clever wordplay, and an agile sense of timing and play.

41. Father Figurine by Matt Kazman-The dour faces of the family in this dark comedy short play to the highest comedic effect perfectly. A dead patriarch and an apathetic family make for some of the best dry humor in 2019.

42. Funk Shuffle-Danny Cymbal, Dennis Curlett, and Michael Gardner comprise Funk Shuffle, an improv group that manages fly freer and more untethered than almost any other improv group that we’ve ever seen. They make their defiance and experimentation with improv forms really work due to the trio’s unflinchingly playful spirit.

43. Gary Gulman’s The Great Depresh-Gulman, as one of comedy’s premier craftsman, of course, delivers an hour of stellar comedy with this special. He also manages, this time around, to destigmatize depression and, in general, be hopeful. That particular comedy trifecta is such an impressive feat that very few can accomplish.

44. Greener Grass-The scope and ambition of Jocelyn DeBoer and Dawn Luebbe’s directorial debut hints at some really special things to come from them in the future. Their absolutely demented, pastel drenched absurdist vision was a shocking delight through and through.

45. Jenny Slate’s Stage Fright-Slate’s best comedic strength is her unshakeable vulnerability. This hour special lets Jenny present that trait as intimately as she has ever presented it and gives an in-depth look as to where that hilarious vulnerability comes from. 

46. Heather Anne Campbell swatting a baby out of someone’s hands in an improv scene-At this point, it should come as no surprise that Heather Anne Campbell is one of our absolute all-time favorite people in comedy and thus, she kind of just ends up making it on this list annually on her own someway, somehow. This year, during a performance of her improv group, Heather and Company, we laughed as hard as we’ve ever laughed at Drew DiFonzo Marks initiating a scene by rocking a baby back and forth and then, Heather insanely swatted it out of his hands and stomped on it. It sounds ludicrous, but trust that Heather made that so unbelievably funny. 

47. Adam Cayton-Holland’s Happy Place-Cayton-Holland’s live solo show based on his critically acclaimed book of the same name pulls off oscillating between cleverly wrought and self-aware comedy and some of the most heartbreaking stories you’ll ever hear about his late sister. Holland’s focus and calm make it all miraculously blend together.

48. The Authorized Unauthorized My Favorite Murder Musical-In the world of unauthorized musicals about things that you wouldn’t really think about being adapted into unauthorized musicals (it’s a bigger ever-burgeoning world every month it seems), the staged reading of this My Favorite Murder-inspired musical that we saw was phenomenal. The full stage production to come in 2020 will undoubtedly be something really great. 

49. Pedro Gonzalez-Pedro’s jokes are so expertly written and crafted that you forget that he immigrated to America as a teenager from Colombia and learned English as a second language.

50. Garry Starr Performs Everything-UK comedian Garry Starr’s solo show is a genius send-up and celebration of theater as a whole. The physicality and the sheer madness of the whole show are so thoroughly hysterical.

51. Kira Soltanovich-We just want to take a moment to appreciate the agility of the comedy of Kira Soltanovich. Not only does Kira play any room or any show as far as we’ve seen, but her drive is just unstoppable (see ep. of The Honey Dew).

52. Mike Birbiglia’s The New One-Though it seems almost too routine that Birbiglia comes out with a new hour special that garners tons of acclaim for its ornate and complex and, ultimately, very satisfying tapestry of stories, Birbiglia delivers exactly once again with one such solo show/special on fatherhood.

53. Michelle Buteau-We saw Michelle headline just a few months ago at Dynasty Typewriter and were reminded of just how good Buteau is. She combines being heartfelt, having a fun bit of attitude, and an absolute command of the stage in such a beautiful way.

54. Gareth Reynolds’ Riddled with Disease-Many folks know how great Gareth is from his madcap riffing on The Dollop, but Reynolds shows he is fantastic with a sharp, hilarious, yet still fast-and-loose-feeling hour.

55. Sara Schaefer’s LIVE LAUGH LOVE-Sara, above most folks working in comedy today, goes to great lengths to be considerate, inclusive, and vulnerable in her comedy and it’s so, so wonderful because of that. This album is yet another great example of that mix.

56. Sean Patton’s Scuttlebutt-Sean Patton’s latest album is a fantastic note to any and all that Sean is, hands down, one of the best comedians ever to spin a yarn (and also share some damn fine true stories) and deserves way more accolade and attention for that now and going forward. 

57. Matt Rogers’ Have You Heard of Christmas?-Rogers had quite a 2019 in putting culture on notice, but his queer and subversive holiday musical extravaganza might be one of the best pieces of holiday themed comedy of all time.

58. The Chris Gethard Show with Robby Hoffman-Not only does Robby Hoffman keep the punk rock, conventions-be-damned spirit of TCGS alive, but she makes it so much her own and lets her hilarious, domineering persona transform the show into another very special, unique round of controlled chaos.

59. The taping of Eddie Pepitone’s latest special-Eddie’s sound and fury and his irreverent stream-of-consciousness-seeming comedy were flawless in this latest hour. Everyone in attendance, including ourselves, were in stitches for the whole taping. Props to director Steven Feinartz for one of our favorite looks of a special that we saw last year (which you’ll all get to see soon in 2020).

60. Eric Dadourian’s closer on Nebraska 2-Dadourian is always all in for the sake of a real bold, imaginative bit and, as such, pulled off one of our favorite closers of the year on his very first full length album.

61. Jessica Kirson: Talking to Myself-Kirson’s hour special on Comedy Central really let Jessica cut loose and let her showcase her stand-up expertise. From the way that Kirson contorts her face to her deep well of voices/characters to razor-sharp quick wit to, of course, her signature asides to herself, Jessica really kills it in this hour. 

62. Brody Stevens-Long live the “jock doing performance art” comedy (one of our favorite descriptions of Brody’s comedy by his dear friend Zach Galifianakis) and may he rest in peace. Yeeeees! Enjoy It!

63. Byron Bowers on Colbert-Byron Bowers and his clever, yet sincere, dark, vulnerable comedy put up one of our favorite late night sets this year. From the opening to his frank jokes about his dad make us think that it’s just a little crazy that this is his network TV debut.

64. Desus and Mero on Showtime-With the upgrade of being on Showtime, Desus Nice and The Kid Mero are having the most fun in late night with the freshest voices and format (and they’re able to pull that off with only being twice a week).

65. Fleabag Season 2-creator and star Phoebe Waller-Bridge assuredly has more masterpieces ahead of her, but managing to top herself from one masterpiece season of dark romantic dramedy with another one is something that deserves all the accolades and awards that it has gotten.

66. Kenny DeForest on Corden-Kenny dismantles toxic masculinity so incisively through the whole set that he most certainly earns all the applause breaks he gets the whole way through.

67. Josh Gondelman’s Dancing on a Weeknight-Gondelman is often thought of as one of the best, sweetest people in comedy. This latest album, for all of its being clever and genuine, is proof that he indeed really is that sweet and funny.

68. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 3-The perennial prestige comedy from Amy Sherman-Palladino earns its keep by having some of the best writing (it’s almost impossible to write jokes that are contextualized for the 50s/60s and make them actually funny for 2019 audiences) and also being one of the most gorgeous looking shows in all of television.

69. Nick Ciarelli and Brad Evans-Whether it be pulling pranks on Twitter, their plethora of hysterical sketches doing an impression of Jack FM on shows around town, or their monthly live sketch character showcase Atlantic City, Nick and Brad are a damn fine comedy duo and have been for quite some time. 

70. Caitlin Gill’s Major-It’s quite the magic trick to make an hour of comedy that’s entirely clean and have it being clean not be a thought that you’re thinking about at all when listening or watching it. Caitlin Gill spectacularly does just that with this album as Gill can make all of her earnest rants, imagery, and observations work in any way that she needs to.  

71. 97.9 The Rat Race-Ben Roy’s satirical reimagining of a morning radio “zoo crew” is so spot on, then gets real twisted to make this one of the most surprising and rewarding podcasts of 2019.

72. Mike Lane’s Picture Frames-This short film from Lane heightens the idea of remembering those you love after they’ve left this mortal coil to such a ridiculous level every step of the way (and is more and more enjoyably unpredictable the further it goes).

73. Paige Weldon on Corden-Paige’s upbeat self-deprecation is just hard to resist and it makes the best impression in this late night set on The Late Late Show with James Corden.

74. The Righteous Gemstones-Danny McBride’s latest HBO series that darkly and comically dissects the South might be his most ambitious yet, but, of course, he nails it. The constant suspense perpetuated by hysterically tragic characters in the world of televangelists is profound.

75. My Friend Chuck-Comedic erotica author Chuck Tingle (one of the absolutely most unique voices and cadences we’ve heard in awhile) and friend McKenzie Goodwin celebrate their friendship every week for a podcast that’s preposterously funny and, also, more heartwarming than almost anything we’ve heard or seen. 

76. Joey Clift’s Telling People You’re Native American When You’re Not Native Is a Lot Like Telling a Bear You’re a Bear When You’re Not a Bear-Clift makes such biting, pun intended, commentary with this short film/PSA that is also so playful that the message about Native identity will undoubtedly stick with you.

77. Megan Gailey’s My Dad Paid For This-Gailey strikes a wonderful balance of charm and attitude and fervent desire to burn down the patriarchy. Such a mix accents her very delightful observations about herself and the world around her in this marvelous debut album. 

78. Robin Higgins as Baby Yoda at Tournament of Nerds-Higgins might have made one of the best, first attempts at Baby Yoda cosplay. She also, for what’s supposed to be a roast-style competition between fictional/pop culture characters, perfectly imagined how Baby Yoda would roast someone while maintaining Baby Yoda’s sweetness that has captured the hearts and minds of the Internet.

79. The Man Who Killed Don Quixote-Terry Gilliam went through hell, did a few laps, and came back over several years to get this meta-quixotic tale about reimagining the legendary novel Don Quixote made. The finished film, for us, was worth the wait. 

80. Jo Firestone on The Tonight Show-Jo’s sense of play is so pure and present that it’s kind of irresistible. Combined with a perfect amount of self-deprecation, Jo really delivered a terrific set we’ll probably never get tired of.

81. Paul Rudd continues his time honored tradition of playing that one clip of Mac & Me on Conan-Rudd evolves the arc of this long running bit on Conan where, instead of playing a clip of what he’s on Conan to promote, he plays the same exact clip of the universally panned alien comedy Mac & Me. We all know what’s coming and yet, without the benefit of surprise, Rudd’s annoyance of Conan still keeps on being so damn funny.

82. Billy on the Street featuring Reese and Mariah-This year, we were lucky enough to get two instantly classic episodes of Billy on the Street with Reese Witherspoon and Mariah Carey that gave us our fix for our obsession with Billy Eichner yelling at strangers on the streets of NYC.

83. The Dollop England & UK-As Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds embarked on an entire England & UK tour of The Dollop, they thought it prudent to do a mini-series specific to Great Britain and did a smashing job making fun of British history. The Cyril the Swan episode is particularly brilliant.

84. Lost Moon Radio-The live musical sketch comedy theater troupe (Lost Moon Radio truly lives up to such a description) marked their 10th anniversary and put on an absolutely fantastic “Summer Block Party” this year that both showed that they still got their ingenious musical sketch comedy chops. 

85. Nate Bargatze’s The Tennessee Kid-The calm with which Bargatze pervades all of his comedy is part of what makes it beloved by nearly any and all that see or hear Bargatze’s stand-up. That’s such the case now that Nate gives updates to stories from previous specials on this latest hour. 

86. Beth Stelling on Kimmel-Every detail of this set on Jimmy Kimmel Live is pretty stellar. That includes Beth, in general, for her warm demeanor, smile, and cleverness, the Chippendale’s story, Beth’s mom being there in the crowd, and, of course, the surprise guest at the end. 

87. Liz Climo’s Please Don’t Eat Me-This illustrated book is just the latest in a long line of uber-adorable and genuinely-funny-for-all-ages books from Climo. Liz seems to have quite the knack for making unlikely animal friendship jokes. 

88. John Hodgman’s Medallion Status-Hodgman’s journey through the various statuses of airline privilege/celebrity is a superb serving of existential humor, done up with Hodgman’s painstaking attention to the exactly right details. 

89. Jane Curtin’s 2019 New Year’s Resolution “My New Year’s Resolution Is To Make Sure The Republican Party Dies”-Said during a CNN interview with the SNL alum, this was the first thing to make us heartily laugh in 2019.

90. Alex Kavutskiy’s Squirrel-Kavutskiy’s short film dives into the concept of forgiveness unlike we’ve really seen and, as is Kavutskiy’s style, is so darkly spellbinding and so pointedly funny at the same time.

91. Astronomy Club: The Sketch Show-The long running comedy troupe known as Astronomy Club really ran with their chance to do a full-fledged sketch series on Netflix. They’re so endlessly clever on in their sketches, especially when it comes to the subjects of identity and oppression, and pack in so many jokes and sight gags that you’ll definitely want to watch it more than once so you don’t miss anything.

92. Dolemite Is My Name-Eddie Murphy seems poised to make a real return to comedy (and stand-up comedy in particular) and this marvelous biopic of comedian and blaxploitation star Rudy Ray Moore AKA Dolemite is the perfect way to start.

93. Anna Drezen on Corden-Drezen has such a perfect sense of farce and misdirection and puts on a beautiful display of those two things from start to finish in this set on The Late Late Show with James Corden. 

94. BUTT’s Yoda themed dating app sketch-This sketch is so prescient of the resurgence of the world’s current (baby) Yoda obsession. Also, while this is so absurd with its deep dive into various Yoda fan art and cosplay, Joe McAdam and Chris Stephens’ take on dating apps is so sharply and deeply funny. 

95. Mel Brooks Unwrapped-The never ending bit of attempting a documentary between Mel Brooks and the BBC’s Alan Yentob is yet another display of the true, unquestionable genius of Mel Brooks.

96. 50 First Stephs-The amazing, hysterical Steph Tolev kicked off 2019 with a show where 50 or so of her compatriots and contemporaries did various impressions and characterizations of her. Part roast, part loving tribute, part amazing showcase of the depth of creativity in LA comedy, Tolev’s night for herself was something really special.

97. The Bongo Hour with Sandy Honig and Peter Smith-Honig and Smith brought their wild variety show that featured such wonderful bits, characters, drag, and burlesque to LA and showed, truly, how much better life is when you’re fluid about nearly everything.

98. How Did This Get Played?-Hosts Nick Wiger and Heather Anne Campbell and their take on the “worst and weirdest” video games do their namesake, the beloved How Did This Get Made?, proud. Even if you’re not a gamer, the way they dissect the most bizarre video games ever made along with Heather and Nick’s chemistry is very, very enjoyable.

99. Joe Pera Talks With You Season 2-This second season of Joe Pera’s unique talk-to-the-viewer series is so calming that the comedic twists sneak up in the most delightful way possible. There is a certain beauty to Pera’s show that makes us want to have Joe Pera Talks With You playing on a loop in a contemporary art museum.

100. John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch-John Mulaney does “it”, yet again. “It” being releasing another hour of comedic brilliance that’s so markedly different than whatever he did before, yet, somehow still stamped with an indelible mark of Mulaney’s comedy of obtuse hyper-specificity. 

[moonstarphoenix]

Skate America Men’s SP Pt. 2

Alright, the second group of men is next and this is the big one. Keegan, Nathan, Jason. Boyang. This will be a fun group. Sorry for not getting this live. I went to dinner but I’m splitting my time between the men and my Astros. Gotta route for the ‘Stros to make it to the World Series!

Cha Jun-Hwan. Forgive me if I get the names wrong. I’m going by how it’s done on screen. I’m almost positive I saw him last year and I liked his Romeo and Juliet program? I have a bad memory. Doubled his quad. I’m not a big fan of the younger set doing tango programs. It is a very sensual dance and they rarely can truly pull it off well. It’s also like the war horses. Every skater has to skate one at least once. That said, I can see the potential if he slows down a little bit.

I’ve always enjoyed Boyang Jin. He’s an excellent skater when he’s on. He likes the color gold. Ouch. Bad attempt at the quad. And a beautiful second attempt. He’s struggling this program. Still, he’s such a beautiful skater, excellent extensions, interesting choreography, spins are fast. I feel bad for him. I think he can make a comeback though. I have faith.

Dmitry Aliyev is next. Excellent quad combo. He’s very steady on his legs today. My thing with the Russian men is they very rarely exode a lot personality. You could literally take one Russian man and transplant the program and it would look pretty much the same, except to the level of skills. Dmitry is clearly one of the best though. Excellent choreography, extension. I really enjoyed that. He should be easily in first for now and he is.

Jason Brown has a different look for his short costume. I like it. He’s one of my favorite skaters, so lyrical and such a showman. Plus, he always has such interesting programs and music choices. Damn, a pop in the axel. I literally don’t think anybody has skated clean today. Nice recovery though on the triple-triple. I like this program. It’s very mature and different tonally than anything he has done before. Tara and Johnny need to shut up. Jason had issues with the triple axel and didn’t put it in until he was absolutely ready. Now he rarely misses it. Plus, it’s the first program of the season. So far no one has been perfect. 2nd for now. Not bad. Not great but still good.

Nathan Chen is next. Undefeated last season. One of the few skaters that has been able to go to school and still compete at his best ability. Even Nathan turned out of his quad. Interesting program. Not quite sure I like it. It is more mature for him. He’s really trying to get stretch his artistry each year. Not bad. He played a character and I believed it. He’s really improving and growing up. And a well deserved first place for Nathan.

Keegan Messing has my utmost respect. I mentioned in my update the passing of his brother and his respect for Yuzuru Hanyu at an earlier competition. A true competitor and gentlemen. And he’s a great skater as well. To do this so soon is a strength I don’t think I could have. A personal program for him. His song is the first song he danced with his wife at their wedding. I really enjoy his skating. He doesn’t have the flow like Jason but he skates with emotion and his style fits him instead of forcing him into a box that doesn’t. Wow, I didn’t see any mistake in that. A very emotional and beautiful program. Very well done. And he’s in 3rd for the night.

And that’s it for the men’s short programs. See everyone tonight for the ladies!

[rosalind-of-arden]

Ash and Quill Reread chapter 7

Time for more overthinking of details about Morgan, Wolfe, and Santi. Also Zara. Fuck Zara.

Injured Santi can still knock Beck down the stairs. No motivation quite like knowing Beck wanted to burn Wolfe alive, I’m sure.

Wolfe is good at knife-throwing. Very good at it. I’m sure there is fun fic potential in this.

Also, Wolfe could slip away from the guard holding him and grab the guard’s knife. This is something he had to have practiced. A lot. Is this a skill picked up pre-Rome as a routine part of working with the High Garda? Or something he learned to do after Rome to make sure he could defend himself if he was captured again?

Just notice how impressed Jess is by Wolfe’s escape artistry and knife throwing. Competency kink, anyone?

Also interesting: this is not the only time Wolfe has been held by guards so far in the series. It is the first time he’s made an escape. This is a tactical decision.

A look at the difference between Wolfe’s and Santi’s attitudes toward violence. Once the Burners are down, Santi goes right for Wolfe. But Wolfe goes to Indira. Jess doesn’t hear what they say, but that hand on her forehead seems comforting, and pulling the knife out hastens her death. He cares enough about an honorable enemy to do what he can to ease her pain as she dies. Wolfe can kill, and he can make cold calculations of who to save and who to sacrifice, but he's clearly uncomfortable with violence. A bit of foreshadowing of his later discomfort with the Ray of Apollo, perhaps? Santi, on the other hand, is a soldier. The idea of comforting a dying enemy doesn’t even occur to him. Indira might not have been as bad as Beck, but to Santi, an enemy soldier is an enemy soldier.

Morgan is weak enough from power overuse that Jess has to carry her.

Jess not listening to Wolfe here seems like a bad idea. We don’t get exact words to know what his “protests” were, but it seems rather likely that he might have some idea of where the others are. He was the one issuing secret orders, after all.

Santi makes sure Wolfe is the first one out. Of course. There are reasons for Wolfe to go along with this, though. They have no idea what will be waiting for them outside the walls. Wolfe will take the risk of being the first one to find out. I suspect this is also why Santi goes right after Wolfe: if the High Garda is out there, he’s the one with the best chances of talking whatever soldiers are waiting for them into helping.

Wolfe is the one to help Thomas get away from the hole.

Santi’s company symbol is “a cobra coiled around a book.” So, a couple things. First, Santi totally has a tattoo of this. Maybe on his other arm, so library lion on one, company symbol on the other? Second, it was a cobra in the training exercise murder attempt in Paper and Fire, wasn’t it? Right, so no fucking way that snake was there by chance. The Artifex put that thing there to kill Wolfe with the symbol of Santi’s company. 

Here again we see Santi’s ethical principles contrasted with the Library’s. He describes the refugees as “innocents” who “didn’t deserve this,” while Zara is quick to label them as Burners who deserved to die. He differentiates between soldiers and civilians. The Library doesn’t.

Up until now, the Brightwell-Library conspiracy has been mere speculation. But now, with the destruction of Philadephia, Brendan confirms it: he worked with the Library to arrange that bombing. Consider the level of trust there would need to be between the two sides for this to happen. This cannot be the first collaboration between the two factions.

Unspecified time gap. We do not know how long Jess is unconscious here. Probably hours?

Caretaker Wolfe! Now he’s turning his cranky caregiving on Jess, holding the bucket for him while glaring about it. Sure, Wolfe, pretend you don’t want to be there. We are totally fooled.

Notice how every time he gets out of an unpleasant situation, Wolfe gets himself cleaned up and into a new Scholar’s robe as soon as he can? Finickiness or trauma response? As usual, I vote both.

Jess is having a trauma response, and Wolfe offers him a drink and an honest answer to his question about safety. A couple things here. First, I suspect that Wolfe appreciates that level of honesty when dealing with his own trauma. Second, he’s distracting Jess from the flashback by giving him a problem to work on solving. Again, I suspect this is something Wolfe would appreciate himself.

“I have never met a more unruly, unteachable lot, and I thank the gods for forcing you all into my life,” Wolfe says, while smiling and looking fondly at Jess. And of course he cannot sustain that level of emotional honesty. Next minute he’s heading out the door and telling Jess “I’m not your nursemaid.”

Wolfe still doesn’t trust Jess with information about Morgan. Again, unintentionally reinforcing that lesson on keeping secrets.

Wolfe is working with the doctor and the Medica to take care of Morgan. Interesting. What is he contributing there?

There have been conversations between Wolfe and Brendan, and I really am sad we don’t get to see that. I can only imagine the awkwardness.

More remarkably fast burn healing. Jess suspects Morgan was healing him. Is he right? Is there some new Medica treatment that was used on him? It kind of would make sense for the Library to be constantly developing new burn treatments, really. Or, considering who was with him when he woke up, did Wolfe do something? Conscious or unconscious use of his small amount of power?

Again Jess thinks it’s Wolfe’s job to control Morgan’s choices when it comes to risky behavior.

Santi’s network of allies: two of three High Garda captains will cover for him. His company will feign loyalty to the Library while waiting for an opportunity to help him. His soldiers are more loyal to him than Zara.

A High Garda uniform includes: underwear, trousers, shirt, jacket, boots. No further detail given here, sadly.

Here we have the beginning of the Jess-Dario plan. Jess realizes his dad plans to backstab him, finds out about Dario’s connections, and starts working out how to turn all that to his advantage. All while his feelings of being kept in the dark by Wolfe are still fresh.

Dario got a gold band somehow. How did Dario get a gold band?

So we don’t get enough description of the three soldiers with Troll to be sure, but Phoena is a feminine name according to Google. I will take this as conformation that the High Garda do not have separate changing/shower facilities for men and women. Interestingly, Jess is not shy about changing in front of the group.

Wolfe, affirming the kids’ feelings of grief and despair. He understands trauma. “We all deal with things in our own way.”

Wolfe does not like Zara, to the extent that even Jess can see it. Jess thinks it’s “not quite jealousy” but Wolfe seems “uncomfortable with the closeness between Santi and his lieutenant.” But he does respect her, especially her clever scheming. There seems to be a good amount of cooperation between Wolfe, Santi, and Zara in plotting their deception of the Archivist. 

Zara must not tell the Archivist all of this: we’d hear more about investigations or purges of traitors within the High Garda if she’d told how many companies were siding with Santi.

“What would you give to see that another city never dies like that again?” More signs of Wolfe’s discomfort with violence, especially on a large scale. He’s being a lot more honest here than he was after Oxford, where he was still (awkwardly) trying to teach the kids the Library party line about the necessity of its atrocities.

Santi wasn’t expecting Dario to be willing to fight. Small hints that Dario hasn’t fully regained everyone’s trust.

“I need to know - we need to know” This little correction from Santi is interesting. He’s used to being the sole commander when making tactical decisions. Now he’s deliberately acknowledging that Wolfe and the others share power with him in this rebellion. Another hint Jess misses when he concludes that Santi would stop the plan later in the book.

So, the ephemera here: we have a captain expressing his anger with the Archivist and we have Zara’s report of that captain’s suicide. First, note “Acting Captain Zara Cole.” She does not have an official promotion. That must be a process that takes time? 

Now, we have a few ways to read these letters. This could be exactly what it looks like: this captain was so devastated that he wrote an angry letter to the Archivist and killed himself. Zara just happens to be the one who reported it. A more interesting possibility, though, is that this captain is the one who wouldn’t stand with Santi, and Zara just eliminated him and planted evidence to make it look like a suicide. Making him look like he was angry with the Archivist is a nice touch: it redirects suspicion away from the captains loyal to Santi. Another interesting option: this is one of the captains loyal to Santi, and Zara eliminated him on the Archivist’s orders.

[ofrobin]

✕ — ISN’T THAT DAMIAN WAYNE WANDERING THE STREETS OF NEW YORK? CIVILIANS KNOW THEM AS ROBIN AND SEE THEM AS A VIGILANTE. AS FAR AS I KNOW, THE NINETEEN YEAR OLD STANDS WITH THE BATFAM AND ARE RUMOURED TO BE PRETTY PRECISE & VIOLENT.

PINTEREST BOARD LINK.

SOME BASICS:

NAME: Damian Wayne al Ghul

ALIAS: Robin

AGE: 19

BIRTHPLACE: 'Eth Alth'eban ORIENTATION: Pansexual

HEIGHT: 5’5”

HAIR COLOR: Black

EYE COLOR: Green

SOME HISTORY:

Damian is the son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul. He was raised by his mother and trained by the League of Assassins in  'Eth Alth'eban. 

He would train twice as hard as everyone else, becoming a skilled assassin by a very young age. He was given a sword after he could take his first steps as that’s how it has always been with the al Ghul family. Damian became a respected member of the League. 

Raised as a weapon, and to spill blood. Damian collected trophies from all of the people he hurt over the years. 

After his tenth birthday his mother finally introduces Damian to his father for the first time. It was an attempt on her part to try and disrupt his work. 

Although violent, spoiled, and proving to be difficult in making any progress. The boy quickly learns that life with Batman is different than living with the League.

Despite his attitude Damian genuinely wanted to aid in Bruce’s fight against crime which is when he decided that he wanted to be the next Robin. 

The boy trains a lot, learning new methods to fight against criminals. He has to adapt his old teachings to fit his fathers no kill rule. It isn’t easy when that was all he knew for his entire life. 

Guilt begins to arise in thinking about all the life’s he helped ruin. Damian tried to return his trophies that were stolen, but people still run away in fear of him. He still doesn’t think he got the atonement, or that he deserves it. 

When Damian is still a boy when he DIES by a giant sword being pierced through his chest. He sacrificed himself to save his family. When he dies he’s sent to Hell, but any memories of what happened there are lost after he’s revived.

Nightmares are more regular after that, reliving the day he died. Despite all the trauma Damian is living with now, he returns to his duties as Robin. 

NOW nineteen years old, he remained in the present while the majority of his family went back to the seventies. He has been doing his best to look after Gotham while they were gone. Which results in a lot of long nights, but he has no problem with pushing his limits. Damian was trained to ignore his own pain, a skill that comes in handy now more than ever. He knows the risks, but he can’t hang up the cape. 

ABILITIES:

Martial Artist ( knows just as many martial arts as Batman. ) Genius Level Intellect. Intimidation. Mimicry ( can imitate anyone’s voice and speech patterns. )  Stealth. Swordsmanship. Throwing. Peak Human Condition.  Business Management. Archery.  Artistry.  Driving ( learned to drive when he was five. )  Medical Science ( is capable of doing surgery. ) Pedagogy.  Disguise. Investigation.

OTHER INFO:

Damian drives a motorcycle everywhere.

He has a dog name Titus, a cat named Alfred, and a cow named Batcow. His cow is back in Gotham, but the dog and cat are in New York with him.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards - The Best of 2018

Hello and welcome, dear reader, to the greatest, most important awards ceremony in the history of entertainment. The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. The award of recognition that everyone on Earth covets even though they don’t know it. For the Quill Seal Of Approval is a most esteemed prize for hard work and artistry. Better than the Golden Globes, more prestigious than the BAFTAs and guaranteed to be more diverse than the Academy Awards. You know your film, novel, TV show or video game has achieved legendary status when some random nobody on the internet says it’s the best in some obscure top 10 list that’s read by only a couple of people. That’s the true sign of success.

First, a few parish notices. Obviously this is my subjective opinion, so if you disagree with my choices, that’s fine. Go make your own list. (also remember that my opinion is 100% objective, scientific, factual and literal truth and anyone who disagrees is clearly a philistine and a dummy and a poopy-head whose mum smells of elderberries). Also please bear in mind that I haven’t been able to experience everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, please don’t be upset that A Star Is Born isn’t on this list. I’m sure it’s as amazing as everyone says it is. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay. Let us begin.

Inside No. 9 - Series 4

BBC2′s Inside No. 9, written by the League of Gentlemen’s Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, is an anthology series that’s often sadly overlooked, but it’s really worth a watch if you’re into shows like Black Mirror and The Twilight Zone, and this series in particular has been fantastic. We’ve had an episode written entirely in iambic pentameter, an episode whose chronology runs backwards, a live episode that really plays around with the format, episodes containing tragic and biting satire, and one especially twisted episode that brings out a side of Steve Pemberton we’ve never seen before. Series 4 has been a real treat from start to finish, with each episode beautifully written and expertly performed. Inside No. 9 deserves to share the same pedestal as Black Mirror, no question.

Black Panther

I’m sure everyone knows about my less than flattering views on the Marvel Cinematic Universe by now, which is what made Black Panther such a breath of fresh air for me. Stripping away all the convoluted crap, Black Panther has often been compared to The Dark Knight, and for good reason. Like The Dark Knight, this movie uses the superhero genre to tackle real social and political issues. In Black Panther’s case, exploring just what it means to be black in the modern world. Boasting an impressive cast of black actors, strong female characters, an engaging and complex antagonist, fantastic special effects and truly excellent direction from Ryan Coogler, Black Panther represents a new benchmark for Marvel, the superhero genre and the film industry in general. It proves how important and how lucrative diversity and representation in media can be, and it unintentionally shows how flawed the Marvel business model has become. The reason behind Black Panther’s success is simple. It’s because it’s bloody brilliant. And the reason it’s bloody brilliant is because Coogler was allowed to realise his own creative vision without Kevin Feige and Mickey Mouse breathing down his neck. Perhaps they should take note of that in future.

Deadpool 2

Of course Deadpool 2 is going to be on this list. Are you really surprised?

The Merc with the Mouth goes from strength to strength in the rare instance where the sequel is actually as good as, if not better than, the original. The first Deadpool was a great origin story for the character, but Deadpool 2 felt like an adventure ripped straight from the comics themselves. Crass, ultra violent and hysterically funny, Deadpool 2 is the crowning jewel of the X-Men franchise. Fan favourites such as Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus return as well as new characters such as Domino, played by the exceptional Zazie Beetz, Cable, played by the astounding Josh Brolin, and Firefist, played by Julian Dennison who deserves all the success in the world because good God this kid can act!

But of course the star of the film is Deadpool himself with Ryan Reynolds once again proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he understands this character back to front. Not only is he hysterically funny, capturing the character’s irreverent tone perfectly, he also absolutely nails the tragic underpinnings of Deadpool that make him such a wonderful character. In between the f-bombs and gore are moments of real drama and emotional pathos as the film tackles themes such as loss, discrimination, abuse and suicidal depression. All this whilst taking the piss out of 2017′s Logan. 

Oh yeah, and it also features the first openly LGBT superheroes in cinematic history. Fuck you Disney! NegaYukio and Poololosus for the win! LOL! No, but seriously, now that you have the rights to X-Men back, if you try and censor Deadpool in any way, shape or form, I will kick your arse.

God Of War (2018)

“BOY!”

Yes Kratos is back, having successfully destroyed the world of Greek mythology and now has his eyes on the Norse Gods. And he has a son now. What could possibly go wrong?

Seriously though, this new God Of War is simply exquisite. While I have long admired the God Of War franchise for its interpretation and adaptation of Greek mythology, the previous games in the series have never exactly been the most sophisticated when it comes to storytelling (and the less said about the casual sexism, the better. Yes Sony, I promise I understand the thematic reasons behind playing a minigame that allows you to have sex with Aphrodite in God Of War 3, but it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s sexist as shit). God Of War 2018 changes all that with an intelligent and engaging story that allows us understand and connect with Kratos at a more personal level than we’ve ever done before. Taking place years after God Of War 3, Kratos is older, wiser and trying to raise his son Atreus in the hopes that he won’t make the same mistakes Kratos did in his past. Not only is the story amazing, continuing the franchise’s themes of vengeance and the strained relationships between parents and their children, the gameplay is also a ton of fun with many memorable moments and boss fights.

And as an added bonus, we get two strong female characters that aren’t treated like discardable sex objects. That was nice of them.

Incredibles 2

The long awaited sequel to The Incredibles finally arrived in 2018 and it did not disappoint. Incredibles 2 was everything I could have wanted and more. Continuing on from the events of the first movie, we see Elastigirl take the spotlight as she fights the Screenslaver whilst trying to persuade the worlds’ governments to lift the ban on superheroes. Meanwhile Mr. Incredible takes a back seat as he tries to reconnect with his kids Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack and prove he can be a good, supportive dad. 

Continuing to draw inspiration from Fantastic Four, X-Men and Watchmen, Incredibles 2 is... well... incredible. Expanding the world he created, Brad Bird tells a smart, funny and compelling story that stands head and shoulders above the majority of superhero movie fodder we get nowadays. Elastigirl flourishes in the lead role this time around and the kids get a lot more development, the Screenslaver is a great villain that compliments the themes of the franchise wonderfully, and we get to see a whole bunch of new characters such as Voyd and the Deavor siblings as well as the return of old favourites like Frozone and Edna Mode. 

Honestly, the baby alone is worth the price of admission. Hopefully we won’t have to wait another fourteen years for Incredibles 3.

Marvel’s Spider-Man

Marvel’s Spider-Man is an amazing game. But of course you knew that already. It’s made by Insomniac Games, the same guys behind Ratchet & Clank. Of course it was going to be brilliant.

Simply put, this game does for Spider-Man what the Arkham games did for Batman. Not only is it a great game with brilliant combat and fun web swinging mechanics, it also has a great story worthy of the wall crawler. Unlike the movies, which seem to continuously yank Peter Parker back into high school with each new reboot as those the poor bastard were attached to the fucker on a bungee rope, this Spidey has been fighting crime for eight years. With great power comes many responsibilities as we see him struggle to juggle crime fighting, his new job as a scientist, his commitments to helping Aunt May at the F.E.A.S.T shelter and trying to win his ex Mary Jane Watson back after a six month split. It’s a brilliant story featuring many classic villains such as Shocker and Electro as well as lesser known villains like Screwball and the criminally underrated Mister Negative who finally gets to be the central antagonist in a Spider-Man adaptation. It’s fun to play, engaging, dramatic and really emotional at points. I cried real tears at the end. What a punch to the gut that was.

OOOOOH! And we might be getting to play as Miles Morales in the sequel! I sure hope so! :D

The Grinch

At this point I imagine many of you are scratching your heads. 

“Really Quill? The Grinch? Illumination’s The Grinch? This deserves the Quill Seal Of Approval? Are you sure?” Yes dear reader, I’m absolutely sure. Just hear me out.

It’s true that the majority of Dr Seuss adaptations are shit. While the live action version of the Grinch starring Jim Carrey has a cult following and is fondly remembered by some, it’s still pretty crap, and even Illumination themselves screwed up royally with their adaptation of The Lorax. But this new Grinch is truly excellent. For starters, the animation is gorgeous. This is clearly the format that works best for Seuss movies. Benedict Cumberbatch does a really good job voicing the character, giving him depth and complexity beyond just being a big old meanie. The film also has something no other Seuss film has ever had before. Subtlety. Illumination have clearly learned their lesson after The Lorax. They’re no longer bashing you over the head with a moral message. They’re not trying to over-complicate a simple story by adding pointless sub-plot after pointless sub-plot. In fact the bits they do add actually feed into the main core of the narrative, as opposed to The Lorax, which just confused things. And while there are cute Minion-esque sidekicks like there are in a lot of Illumination films, The Grinch limits it to two (Max the dog and a reindeer named Fred), they’re both legitimately funny, serve an important narrative purpose and don’t distract from the more serious and emotional moments.

In all honesty, I was debating between giving the Quill Seal of Approval to The Grinch or to Bumblebee (the first legitimately good Transformers movie), but I decided to go with The Grinch because of how it handles the character and the story’s message. A lot of people scoffed at the idea of giving the Grinch a back story (and to the film’s credit they don’t force the issue or over-explain where the Grinch came from) but it’s honestly what makes this new adaptation of The Grinch so special to me. He’s gone from being a Scrooge-like monster to an anxiety filled misanthrope who associates Christmas with being alone. It may sound like a jarring change on paper, but in practice it honestly works so well and adds a whole new dimension to the Grinch. It’s treated with absolute care and sincerity and the film really earns its emotional moments, particularly at the end when we see the Grinch sit down to have Christmas dinner with the Whos.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you give this new Grinch a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised :)

Doctor Who - Series 11

A woman?! In the TARDIS?! How absurd!

Jodie Whittaker made history as the first woman to play the Doctor and the new series doesn’t disappoint. Whittaker is predictably brilliant in the role, giving the character compassion, charm and wit. We also get a new bunch of companions (including the always brilliant Bradley Walsh as Graham) who all have some great moments in Series 11 and the relationships they form with each other is incredibly touching and fun to watch. But the writing, my God, the writing. Admittedly not every episode has been perfect, but it’s leagues above anything Moffat has given us during his disastrous reign. The majority of Series 11 has been well written and intelligent, tackling important and relevant social issues (something Doctor Who has always been doing and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot) and focusing on likeable and relatable characters rather than convoluted series arcs. We got to meet Rosa Parks, witness the partition of India, and ponder on the dangers of automation whilst the Doctor tries to save the world from bubble wrap. Oh, and the Daleks are scary again! I know! I couldn’t believe it either!

What makes this all the more remarkable is who the showrunner is. Chris Chibnall. A writer I’ve often criticised in the past for being derivative and shit, and yet somehow he’s managed to create some of the best Doctor Who I’ve seen in a long time. Not only has his writing improved dramatically since his Torchwood days, he’s also demonstrated a commitment to having diverse representation both in front of and behind the camera as well as in the scripts themselves. For the first time in what feels like an age, Doctor Who feels like Doctor Who again, and I’m ecstatically happy.

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

How come we don’t see many animated superhero movies in the cinema? Considering the medium from which superheroes came from, you’d think it would be a no-brainer. Presumably it’s because Disney have got such a strangle hold on the animation market, but that’s hopefully going to change thanks to Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (or, Sony’s Repentance for The Emoji Movie).

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. The animation is gorgeous. It’s pretty much an animated comic book and it stands out as one of the most unique looking animated films in recent memory. Spider-Verse is essentially a love letter to the legacy of Spider-Man as we see multiple different versions of Spidey, including Spider-Gwen, Spider-Ham and Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider cosplaying as Spider-Man Noir, demonstrating not only the sheer variety of Spider-Men we’ve had over the years, but also exploring what connects them together. With all these different interpretations across many different universes, the idea of Spider-Man comes to the same thing. An ordinary person who experiences tragedy and becomes something greater. It’s hopeful and inspirational in a way Spider-Man films hasn’t been for a while now (Spider-Man: Homecoming sucked donkey balls. Period).

But let’s not forget that while the film explores the Spider-Verse, the main focus is Miles Morales who finally makes his cinematic debut. Not only is it a very faithful adaptation of Ultimate Spider-Man’s origin story, Miles himself is such a great central character for the modern age and arguably has more relevance to today than Peter Parker does. The characters are funny and relatable and the story is expertly crafted and impactful. But then what do you expect from the writers and directors of The Lego Movie? (if only Disney hadn’t interfered with Solo: A Star Wars Story. We could have had it all).

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle

This one kind of snuck up on me toward the end of December, but I knew the moment I saw it I had to include it on this list.

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle is an adaptation of The Jungle Book with Andy Serkis making his directorial debut. Yes the same guy who did the motion capture for Gollum in Lord Of The Rings and Caesar in the rebooted Planet Of The Apes movies and who totes deserves an Oscar for Best Actor (fuck you Academy Awards!), and he brings this same motion capture technology to this film. Unlike Disney’s Jungle Book, which merely rehashes the original animated film whilst somehow stripping all the charm from it, Mowgli sticks closer to the original Rudyard Kipling book. This isn’t a cheery musical. This film is often dark and intense as we see Mowgli (played wonderfully by Rohan Chand) struggle to find his place in the world. He knows he doesn’t belong with the animals in the jungle, but he doesn’t really fit in with the world of man neither. It’s an emotional and dramatic character piece brought to life by great writing, great acting and stunning special effects. 

Andy Serkis has expressed a desire to do an adaptation of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, and after watching this movie, I would love to see that. If you haven’t already, go watch Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle. It’s available to stream on Netflix and it’s truly amazing.

And that’s it for 2018. Congratulations to the winners of this year’s Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. Unfortunately we’re on a limited budget here on The Desolated Quill, so I can’t offer any sort of trophy or medal or anything. What I can do though is write the words ‘I’m an awesome cookie’ on a post-it note and stick it on your forehead. Will that do?

[gg-astrology]

Jeon Jungkook: Inner Planet Natal Reading

💕 Hello! I’ve been working on this post for the majority of the week so I hope you’ll look upon it kindly! With the recent situation going on with the fansite stuff, I hope this brings you a little bit of joy or good vibes lately. Please remember to take a break once in a while!  

Also, If you haven’t seen @starryguks ‘Jungkook’s astrology’  yet, please check it! I’m so utterly soft for the boys and her post really inspired me to write about our Virgo Boys (Namjoon post coming out soon)! 💕

Taehyung Inner Planet Natal Reading | Taehyung - Members: Relationship Dynamics

Jungkook Inner Planet Natal Reading

Namjoon Inner Planet Natal Reading

Jimin Inner Planet Natal Reading 

BTS Rapline Mini Analysis | BTS Summary: Mars - Destressing

Virgo Boys (Namjoon - Jungkook) Masterlist

Masterlist

*answered asks about BTS members romantic stuff is at the bottom of the masterlist

💕disclaimer: i’m a novice on astrology but these are my interpretations of the signs and how they’re working based on my experiences with them. Everyone has different opinions and studies in astrology, all interpretation and experiences within the realm is valid, however feel free to make your own post or skip if you strongly disagree. The point of this post is to relate to someone, entertain and have a fun time, validate people with similar experiences and get people excited about the girls+ astrology. Also, since we don’t know most of their birth times, I’m using the standard 12.00pm/no birth time. 💕

September 1st, 1997 (Busan, South Korea)  Virgo Sun - 1st Decan (Ruled by Mercury/Virgo) 

Jungkook with Virgo in 1st Decan (amplified Mercury) really accentuates how bright he really is.

It doesn’t have to be the conventional kind of smart, with Virgo Sun in 1st Decan there’s a need to be acknowledged for how astute they are. 

They like being praised for being resourceful, nimble thinking and often times wisdom. They’re agile and brainy, often much more bold when they feel confident that their contributions and advice are taken seriously. 

Virgos also have a habit of being pretty self-decrepitating, so he might’ve actually did alright in school (academia) -- maybe it’s not outstanding and he may have felt dissatisfied because he wanted his grades to be better-- but objectively speaking, he probably better than what he thinks he did (we all know he’s a little harsh on himself.)

He might seem so humble and timid about boasting about his skills. Often preferring to show through action, He tends to think ‘it could be better’ even when he doesn’t really have a realistic expectation of what better is.

Don’t ever let a Virgo hear you say that however, especially a Virgo Sun/Leo moon because they’ll probably get really confronted/offended. They pride themselves in ‘knowing who they are’ better than anyone, so hearing any claims or question to their own integrity or sincerity as a person, having that doubt cast upon them, they’re going to be pissed at you for the unforeseeable future.

Anyways, Virgos not really knowing how to set realistic expectations in their life? More likely than you think! 

It’s mostly due to Virgos not really knowing what true satisfaction feels like-- which, the end goal for most Virgo natives is actually to feel satisfied. At least once in their life from a certain thing to make them feel like life’s worth living. It’s a very humbling goal though, right?

See, the thing with Virgo is how they actually feel. It dictates most of the things they do. Their views on the world, how they perceive themselves, how they deal with emotions. 

They have this nervous energy about them that keeps them going, and that’s what drives them the most. Everything is categorized into objective, and subjective with them. And this type of thinking can lead to very toxic ideology that tends to be either black or white so please be careful!  

Virgos are one of those people are so humble and down to earth. They almost seem like they’re happier being a wallflower sometimes. Even though they have exemplary skills and smarts and they’re probably doing better than what they say/think they’re doing.

Virgo’s curious and studious nature is almost like a Gemini. Although they’re less prone to being changeable or versatile (i.e. Gemini’s ability to flick from group to group easily) they’re more the type to stay in one place and silently have their notebook ready to take down notes when someone says something that fascinates them.  

Jungkook may not think he’s academically smart, but he appreciates those around him who also share similar unconventional intelligence.

Jungkook has a natural appreciation for smarts in other people (Virgo 1st Decan), since he is smart himself. It’s important to remember that intellect isn’t just being academically smart, Virgo tends to like those that are just a little bit quirkier, or is just a little bit above them in what they’re good at.

See: Hoseok in emotional intelligence, Namjoon in lyricism, music and life experience (l’ve tried researching and I don’t think he ever talks up about Namjoon’s IQ like ever? Correct me if I’m wrong.) Yoongi with his worldly knowledge and life experiences.

Virgo in 1st decan wants to learn, they’re already a communicative sign, but with double that curiosity they want to feel like their intellect is appreciated/valued by groups of people who has similar levels to what they excel in (in this case, music/artistry).

Jungkook’s Virgo in 1st decan really shows because he’s able to really make up his mind/decisions quickly, as well as grasps how things work and often explains it to the group (see: in Run episodes, he’s the one who’s most eager to explain things he understands to the group, asks questions to clarify with the staff and once he got it, he helps others around him)

Even in the industry, he can easily see through people on first impressions. Has very clear and solid opinion of who’s good and who’s bad for him. And if that’s not some Virgo fast thinking/ Scorpio keen observational skills I don’t know what is.

Jungkook should be praised for being smart, not just because he is, it’s also what his Virgo Sun deserves.

Whether he’s aware of it or not-- his sun/ego/self-confidence would be fulfilled because of it. It’s similar to how Yoongi’s Virgo Moon likes being comforted by practical/skill stuff that he does, how he has helped those around him through effort, how he’s changed the world around him by things he has done-- With Jungkook it’s more about intelligence. The things he’s most doubtful about is his own capabilities (his hard work and effort/intellect) and the way he cleverly did things. If you ever see the hyungs compliment him for using his quick wit, he gets really giddy-- it’s adorable 

There’s a difference here between fulfilling his Virgo or Leo placements, when people compliment him for ‘maturing’ that’s what makes the Virgo placement blush. Yoongi complimenting the way he speaks better now? You can bet it made his heart flutter. He wants to truly be acknowledged as smart, even if he’s doubtful or insecure about it.    

The thing about Jungkook is that he’s just too busy doing so many things to truly appreciate himself/be more self-aware about the better traits in him. 

Virgos are all about productivity, out of any signs-- they have the hardest time even seeing their better parts. Because they’re so focused in things they still need to work on, they cherry pick everything that’s brought up to them.

Even when it’s laid out bare -- all cards on the table style. If you show a Virgo their negative and positive trait, they’re going to probably focus more on the negative traits.

With Virgo in the 1st decan his ambitions and steady-climbing really helps him resolve problems and challenges he might’ve faced. They’re small-step takers, they’re not big-picture ambitious aimers.

Virgos are about the smaller things, the attention to details, their immediate external environment or things they can immediately do.

Because their extra sensitive to their environment (sensory and clutter-wise, they’re often prone to feeling unwell/frustrated when their external/internal world is ‘messy’) -- Jungkook has an appreciation and need for simplicity. It shows in his thinking (he appreciates when things are streamlined/straight forward) but also in his tastes (sensitivity to smell, soft textures, structure and clean lines in a room)

Jungkook’s goals every year reflect also this kind of thinking (Sun-Mercury), since his Sun (ego/confidence) is also in the same sign as his Mercury (thoughts/verbalization) his self-confidence/sense of self is directly channelled through his thinking and his goals.

When he says something-- it’s from his soul, his sincerity and integrity is ultimate, and he expects others to at least try to be the same as he is. He puts so much effort into expressing his sun, developing his mercury that he doesn’t realize he’s repressing his more ‘unpredictable’ traits (Moon/Mars).

He often expresses frustration with himself even though he doesn’t know why, that’s because he’s troubleshooting at the wrong thing. 

When he suppress his other placements (Moon/Mars) he over-works his ‘developed’ placement (Sun/Mercury/Venus) making it worse than how it’s supposed to be (in this case, even if they’re ‘developed’ they are still ‘underdeveloped’ because nothing is balanced).

It brings out all the worst trait in Virgo to be more visible under the sunlight (and in this case, the Moonlight because...he’s a Leo Moon and it’s directly being suppressed) through all the hesitance and insecurity, all the self-decrepitation and timid-nature of Virgos. 

All the wasted compassion and misunderstanding. That’s how an over-worked Virgo could be when you let it take too much control over your life, you embody all it’s worst trait and it leaves you feeling more frustrated as you keep ‘working to develop it further’-- that’s not going to help. The key is to let the suppressed placement out and balance them all instead.

When he says he’s awkward on television it’s because he’s over-working his Virgo, and not allowing his Leo Moon to express itself. 

Notice how it’s working best when he’s doing things subconsciously/letting the Leo Moon through to show how playful he is? Those instances are the best because people find him funny, and when he’s conscious of it he’s too stiff to express it to the best of it’s capacity.

The combination of Leo Moon/Virgo Sun, especially when his Sun is in 1st decan makes him so self aware. It becomes hyper-fixation on what his Leo Moon would do, worries over his emotions coming out brash or ‘too out of control’ (since the rest of his placement is based on balance and harmony to function properly).

It became a sense of knowing his sun/mercury too well, and not letting his emotions out because he’s too afraid of it. 

It became internalizing all his behaviors, criticizing it and analyzing the best way to go about thing. And thus, suppressing his own emotions under the chains of Virgo’s self-critical assessments instead.

He’s always so anxious and worried that a single instance of unpredictability, of emotional outburst or lack of self-control on his Leo/Scorpio placement -- would ruin his entire career, his persona, his external structure and the internal hierarchy he’s set inside of himself.

Yes that’s very overdramatic if you think about it, he works so hard on his Virgo trait, the sheer thought of losing control (and subconsciously not knowing he gave his Virgo too much control) places very high stakes on his entire being.

Virgo who’s developed threatened by their very clearly developed borders and structure being destroyed? They absolutely would not let that happen on their watch. It becomes a never-ending cycle of trying to restrain yourself, trying to put on a corset to keep your body in a figure that’s unrealistic at all time and never seeing or accepting yourself as you truly are. It’s self-decrepitation at it’s worse, when it’s harming your own emotions and you don’t even acknowledge it because it’s been there for so long. Jungkook is getting so much better at just, letting go and accepting himself however. And that comes with the territory of emotional maturity and life experience.  

Virgos are attracted to those who seems like they’re capable of handling themselves just as well, maybe sometimes even more (or less) than the Virgo themselves. Reliability and dependency is big for the Virgo natives since they themselves tends to be too giving (Jungkook has that balanced by Libra-Venus -- I’ll later try to explain how everything’s working for him)  and they’re soft and sentimental. They want a soft love story, a romantic one where their effort and dedication is seen and appreciated.

When he says he prefers girls who is intelligent, and he means that. He’s not the standard ‘traditional’ beauty but rather someone who’s smart enough to know their own self-worth in other areas instead, things like self-care, self-confidence, self-love and self-motivation. You can see it reflected in the celebrities he adore like Emma Watson (and her character Hermione) and IU.

Both of these incredible women also share other similar physical features. Their sense of style/aura draws him to them.  People who has that comfortable jeans-and-shirt-and-still-looks-comfortable Taurean aura (rising/venus) and has pretty strong placement in fire-earth that really attracts him to them (Leo preferably since his Juno is in Leo).  Someone who looks a bit slight but has admirable power/strength inside their body (Virgo symbolized onto these women).

As a side note: possibly one of my favourite thing about Jungkook is that one disassociated face he makes whenever the hyung says something dumb he just-- look off at an 3/4 angle into the middle distance and sighs while pressing his lips together. That’s such a Virgo mood. 

It has the same energy as Hoseok’s shut down after a roller coaster sound effect. Also Namjoon has that disassociated face too, it comes out more often during english interviews. It’s confirmed Virgo Mood.

Aspects:

Sun (Virgo) - Conjunct - Mercury (Virgo) [0 degrees]

He has to constantly relearn how to communicate his thoughts/feelings. 

Often times even though they’re fast to pick up how to do it proficiently, time spent away makes them a little bit more awkward and communicating with people they haven’t seen for a while makes them a little bit more timid/subdued. 

They’re like that cousin who you meet at family gathering and you get along splendidly after a few days, you feel so close to them. But a week later they’ve gone back to having a polite and awkward distance not really knowing how to function from that time away once again 

You know how after every comeback and he has a solo vlive he always comments on how awkward it is or not knowing what to say? That’s a dead ass Virgo sun-mercury mood at 0 sometimes. 

Often times they have to ‘vibe’ out the person, see how they’re doing, seeing the result before they tackle the task of communicating with someone on a deeper level once again. 

Sun-Mercury aspect also makes Jungkook come across as really Virgo. Practical, solution-based, willing to communicate but also a little awkward/shier in personal relationship? Virgo Mood. 

He’s focused on the smaller details and pictures, often more sensitive to tiny errors and details than the rest of the member. That’s why he tends to scold them a lot, but often out of good intentions since it directly affects him and the betterment of the team as a whole.

You know Virgos won’t even open their mouth and confront a problem if they don’t have a creative criticism others can work on. You might think they’re nit picky, but they’re really coming from a place that they’ll hold themselves back if it feels like they’re just being annoying even to themselves.  They’re very conscious of what they put into their surroundings, so appreciate your little Virgo friends for what they do for other people more! 

Sun (Virgo) - Sextile - Mars (Scorpio)

Great control over his activities and bodily health, often times people with Sun (Virgo) in a positive aspect towards their mars tend to exercise for the sake of exercising (like Jungkook said, it’s the feeling that matters)

Virgo generally tries to do little daily habits or incorporate healthy behaviors in order to grow into a routine. It keeps them stable and balanced so they can focus on other things going on in their life. 

Once it’s aspecting Mars, the person often finds their activities geared towards physical exertion instead of restructuring their mind. 

He’s also extra sensitive to his body this way, often times physical touches, scents or over-heating can be ‘too much’ (Virgo likes to moderate/be in control of these touches) and there’s a need to keep away from imposing these same kind of feelings on others-- making them seem like a responder rather than an initiator (unless they’ve really grown into themselves or really like the other person). 

Virgo wants to feel pride in his physical body, since the physical body is a ‘material’ in this case. He’s also a bit more prone to obsessive/possessive behaviour, regulating his weight, stature, diet and tends to be more bodily aware than others.

Virgos tends to have all the right common logic like respecting other people, personal hygiene and valuing small dedication that was heart-felt given to them. Having it influenced by his Mars makes him obsessive over these habits/small things.

It might become more toxic or over-exaggerated in his behaviour which lead the members to calling him out over it. It’s mostly the Scorpio Mars aspect they have a problem about, but also the principle that Virgos hold dear as well. 

Sun (Virgo) - Square - Pluto (Sagittarius)

Ok, there’s a lot of inner tension and hyper-fixation he places on himself. Virgo is already critically aware of all it’s short-comings and habitual weaknesses, having it in an aspect with his progression/growth can make him feel frustrated that he’s not developing efficiently enough. 

He often states this as well, that he doesn’t think he’s progressing as fast as he wants to be. There’s a thought and desire to reach out to more people, to expand his horizon and learn (see: when he wants to travel to the US and learn more english) 

He can feel that by living spontaneously, he could’ve had many opportunities to grow that way and it’s a missed chance his Virgo often holds himself back from taking. 

Having one’s Pluto in the house of expansion against one’s sun can make the person feel like change and growth can be harder to brace. It feels too aggressive, too personal and often times like a hurricane that’s coming from the outside and he’s not ready for it. 

Sagittarius also talks about communication skills and being able to connect with those around them easier, Jungkook is already so critically aware that he lacks that kind of easy-flowing nature in himself, when he sees it in others (See: Namjoon, Taehyung) he reflects even harder on himself and might have a tendency to beat himself down over ‘not doing enough’ or ‘not talking enough’ like that. 

Generally I think he’s getting better at that, which isn’t a main problem to deal with. 

Leo Moon - 3rd Decan (Ruled by Mars/Aries)  

Now with all the shit I’ve said in the earlier section, that’s not to say that his Moon is neglected at all. In fact it’s developing just fine, and becoming one of his most developed placement in Fake Love era (currently)-- the goal with the Virgo section was to point out how different placements might’ve interacted or restrict each other throughout the years-- overcoming them through understanding yourself better would help a lot. 

Leo moon has that pride and inner strength that attracts people to them. But they’re also fucking softies at the same time. 

Leo Moon in the 3rd Decan ruled by Aries really helps Jungkook come out from his shy Virgo shell and truly realize who he wants to be. 

He has such a strong core of inner strength, from the fixed and noble nature that Leo has but also how truthful and forth right the Aries influenced him as well. It really complements his Virgo’s nature, and thus bringing out the best nature in and of himself (despite the restriction Virgo still places on his Moon, but that’s going to be explained later) 

Leo/Aries Decan really know from such a young age who they want to be, sometimes they can be indecisive but often they make their decisions quickly. Aries (cardinal) sign likes to initiate activities whilst Leo fixedly kept working on it. This gives his Leo Moon some endurance and initiation to know when to swerve in a certain direction, and when to keep going to get to where he wants to be.

It probably factors a lot into how he joined the industry, from such a young age this Aries decan makes him realize he wants to do -- maybe not forever, but definitely for a certain time frame. He joined a competition (and fire-signs are notoriously known for being competitive when it’s about their capabilities/skills) and then seeing as he got pretty good results, started looking into agencies.  

Now, Aries is an entrepreneur signs, they don’t like messy things and typically doesn’t have to follow a beaten path. Sure it might freak out his Virgo a little who relies heavily on structure and order, but the stagnancy of joining a larger company like the big three would’ve killed his Leo Moon in the long run you know. 

He was probably making decisions in his earlier age from his Moon especially, from joining the competition up to being inspired by Namjoon that he had to join BigHit. He was looking for that ‘it’ factor, and Aries are notoriously good at picking a shining silver coin from a field of copper. 

The competitiveness that Aries has isn’t really outwards towards people in general, but rather it’s inherited in their intense focus on making that thing shine. It’s a personal challenge, a personal project, and that’s why Aries are feared by others around them sometimes. 

That sense of inner drive can be intimidating for those around them and it does result in jealousy because other’s don’t have/doesn’t understand that intense personal drive. 

Growing up with a Leo moon can be hard especially when one has pretty strong placement making them shy. Leo Moon tends to show their playfulness to those close around them, often in the comfort of their home or in privacy away from the spotlight (even though they crave for it at the same time). 

They’re content with their inner circle, because their emotions are easily controlled that way. Leo Moon takes pleasure and joy from pleasing those around them, often through their sense of self expression. 

This can be a ‘performance’ or ‘reenactment’ of a scene they might play out, an over-exaggeration of a comment someone made in order to cheer up the other person. 

The response from people around them fulfills their inner needs gives them emotional gratification that they crave, usually it’s more of a temporary gratification, since long-term fulfillment in Leo Moon can be a bit high maintenance to get.

Giving a Leo Moon a solid stable base for their emotional growth can take years to fulfill, since it would require consistent validation, attention and affection (usually in terms of praises) in order for them to feel appreciated/loved. 

They don’t tend to trust easily, especially when they tend to doubt themselves and their own worth sometimes. Having multiple sources and admirers keeps them from sucking just one single person dry. And it’s generally healthy for Leo Moon to keep a close knit groups of friends and family they can get these sources from. 

Now, the kind of responses people give them can dictate their overall mood/attitude. They feed off of positive reactions, maybe even surprised/amusement or neutral responses are seen as positive sometimes. They don’t tend to react well with the responses are negative, even when it’s just brushing them off or an off-hand remarks. 

Leo Moons will take it to heart, and often gets a bit sulky and defensive about themselves because of this.

Thus you can understand why it can be harder for Leo Moon to put themselves out there for the general audience/public to see. It’s nerve-wrecking, because they’re placing all their emotional vulnerabilities forward into the spotlight for others to judge. Sure the response might be positive, but they know that with popularity/positivity comes negativity as well.

Leo Moons are much more sensitive than their sun, and their egos are easily hurt. Just them being able to realize they should do this, to take the risk and being out there-- takes enormous courage that most signs can’t even fathom why they would take such a huge risk factor in themselves like that. 

To the Leo Moon natives there’s a need for performance within themselves. For self-expression and their feelings, but with that territory comes with exposure. 

It’s a risk all Leo Moon has to face whether it be on a stage or in their social relationships. Sure, their emotions will get hurt and sometimes they’re retrieve back in themselves. 

But at the same time, they’re big thinkers. They’re ultimately very ambitious, and often times sees the bigger picture in all this. Knowing the best way to fulfill their sense of emotional contentment is the end goal for Leo Moon. And even though they’re afraid, they have a commitment into making that jump.  

Jungkook realizing this is the path he wants to be so early in his life is a sign of a developing Leo Moon who’s doing extra-ordinarily better than one realizes. 

This might be due to the balanced Sun-Moon aspect as well as amazingly ambitious push from his Virgo Sun to fulfill his Moon’s potential. If you think about it, it’s like a mum who enrolled their son into a swimming course for young olympians the moment they realize they’ve got potential. 

The mum here is the Virgo Sun and the son here is the Leo moon. She realizes her sun’s potential and understands his dissatisfaction of possibly underachieving in the future because of a lack of opportunity, so she took the initiative and push for him in the direction that’ll benefit him best instead. (Kinda like, Virgo being a soccer mum and her team lead son Leo growing up the popular kid?)

It definitely helped him in the beginning to let his Virgo take the lead role, since it gives his much more fragile Leo Moon time to brace itself into fully developing under the spotlight.

It also helps so much that he gains unconditional love and support from the members, staff and general public as the audience. He worked hard for it, embodying the Virgo mum, but at the same time the Leo Moon has an external father figure in all the members/staff to grow and fully realize himself under. They’re the one who taught him what to do and what not to do, whilst his Virgo mum slowly relinquish her hold on her teenage son just in time for him to graduate and be ready to face the world.

I can’t stress enough how fortunate he was to be raised in such a kind and caring environment. Most Leo Moon don’t tend to even have this kind of luck, which really stout their emotional growth and unbalance them completely.  Having both the members and the staff doting on him, Jungkook often feels much more emotionally mature than the rest of his peers or even members sometimes, this is because it has all the resource it needs to gain maturity and come into itself faster than maybe someone with a harder to achieve moon placement sometimes (see: Taehyung, Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon) 

Leo Moons: Natural (Subconsciously) Comedic

I want to preface this by saying this entire section is what I think was going on in his earlier days and not who he is right now. Nowadays (in the era of Fake Love) Jungkook has gotten so much better at understanding his Leo moon and letting moon shine. How he is today and how he was in his earlier years still retains some similar habit from each other, and it’ll be fun to look at and see! But also this is for others who have similar placement to learn from and understand within themselves. I hope it helps! 

You know how he sometimes have that glazed look on his face? Or when the camera catches him just by himself/with the other members joking around together in the background? 

Jungkook has a habit of vibing softly with himself, and that’s often time the moment when he shines best in this playful, caring nature. It’s intuitive to his Leo Moon who cares deeply about other’s opinions, feelings and thoughts. All their softer trait tends to come spilling out uncontrollably when they’re away from camera.

But when he has to focus to be Like That, sometimes he doesn’t know what to do with himself with the camera around him? 

He stiffens up and becomes so conscious of himself it can verge on the point of paranoia. He doesn’t necessarily understand what he does that’s so funny consciously because it’s not something he’s focused on.

Alot of Jungkook’s personal experiences in his younger years, especially during the time just before Spring Day probably feels sort of like an out-of-body experience. There’s a strong sense of disassociation. Kind of like you’re floating and observing everyone around you and then suddenly becoming hyper-aware of what’s actually happening and being the center of attention again. 

It’s not a feeling of shying away from the spotlight? But rather caught unaware. Like waking up in the middle of a cross-fire shouting match between roommates and not knowing what to do/being hyper aware of their need to mediate it? 

The reason he doesn’t understand why he’s so funny is because he does these things so naturally. Leos are entertainers, and the way he behaves subconsciously endears others towards him. 

With losing abit of control, Jungkook realizes he can exhibit these traits more often.  But  he’s also scared of losing control because that means making his emotions/moon more vulnerable to the general public’s criticism. What if they don’t enjoy it? What if it comes out wrong? It leaves him feeling uncomfortable since that means he can’t dictate/have control over that part of his response/life anymore (Virgo Sun/Mercury- overthinking things).

He’s the maknae for a reason, and his softer side is seen more openly when he’s around his hyungs. It can lead to habitual dependency by hanging onto the same crowd and not seeking new experiences, but at the same time they give him that emotional comfort and external encouragement to be truly himself and fully allow his softer, sentimental side to come out.

Jungkook crying and hugging the member? More likely than you think. Leos are notorious criers, when it comes to others around them. That’s because their emotions/sense of self is based upon other’s  approval for so long. When a group of people consistently feed them love, appreciation and validation Leo Moon tends to grow super attached to them. Don’t even think about leaving for a second, they can border on co-dependency sometimes.  

Leo Moon often realizes that these people makes up who they are today, which is why their give back so much. Their self-confidence, their ability to grow onto themselves. They know how valuable and precious all this is and how hard it is to come within their life time. And often when close people’s plight floats into their ears, they feel so so vulnerable and compassionate for that person they can’t help but cry. Leo Moon cares deeply for their relationship and their history between the two people, they want to give back just as much. Often times they have a harder time saying good bye to others and ending relationship that they can find a way to prolong it even when it’s toxic/poisonous for them. 

Aspects

Moon (Leo) - Square- Pluto (Sagittarius)

Again, this ties into the idea of him not really knowing what to do with his moon once he’s so aware of his Sun/Mercury being developed.

With his fear of external change, and the vulnerabilities that his Moon might bring there’s a heavy reliance on his Sun to make up and create a sense of structure to his life.

Often times his emotions and feelings can be overwhelming, it becomes similar to water-signs moon, turbulent and drowning-- he can be prone to suppressing these unexplained and ‘unrealistic’ self expression in order to regain some kind of control over his life. 

When his emotions (moon) finds it hard to cope with change/transformation he goes through (pluto) he finds himself resorting to relying on his other placement to over compensate his inner self getting hurt. The less-emotional and relatively unmoved Virgo is a great candidate since he has this in bouts, it becomes a natural earth barrier to hide behind. 

But at the same time he finds himself unable/reluctant to show his more sensitive, sentimental and delicate emotional side sometimes due to it’s nature.   

The uncomfortable feeling of being attacked by external change/internal changes, between his softer sentimental Leo Moon and structure-oriented Virgo Sun makes him feel like he has to constantly hide himself behind a barrier. At the same time, becomes so self-aware and hyper-fixedly on opening himself up that it can be hard to regain some kind of balance between the two sometimes.

It’s like someone throwing a bomb at you and you have one barrier to defend yourself with, but the attacks are coming from two sides so you have to curl and fix that barrier into a blanket that covers you just enough? Sometimes it be like that, and you can’t help but wonder when this hell is going to end or beating yourself up for not having enough ‘courage’ to move onto a different place that might be safer. 

It becomes stagnancy and frustration with himself, that he can’t control the situation and he can’t do more. It really doesn’t help with his self-destructive criticism or pushing himself too much into certain ideologies that his Virgo might present as ‘practical’ or ‘worthwhile’, but tends to end up over-compensating and becoming ‘toxic’ instead (see earlier: his obsession with possession/being good enough) 

Blanketing himself in this barrier for protection also means his Leo Moon constantly has to face moments of reprieve that sometimes can’t be good for him. When he’s alone or isolated, as long as he’s not engaging in self-destructive behaviour it should be alright. But when he does it so much, and so consistently it can become habitual (Virgo) and thus-- lead to isolating himself and relearning all over again how to react to changing external environment. 

There’s also some kind of obsession to posses Sagittarius traits, even though he’s confident/prideful in his own self. There’s something akin to admiration but also jealousy, not towards any person but towards traits he sees as directly affecting him and perhaps, if he possesses those traits he can assimilate it and adapt better. 

Sagittarius are great at making friends, communicating with people in general, they’re generously compassionate and tend to have this vivid zest of life but also contentment in being alone that’s not overdoing themselves. There’s potential for expansion that the Sagittarius sees and aims for, as well as fountains of knowledge/intelligence they fearlessly dive into once stirred. 

Since his sense of self (Leo/Sun) is restricted in this area (Sun-Pluto), he might feel ‘less than’ sometimes -- often standoffish but wanting to participate when Sagittarius-dominant people ‘do their thing’. 

His Leo Moon craves being closer to Sagittarius people (see: Jin, Namjoon, Taehyung who has that good Jupiter/Sag in 1st) -- just like how his Virgo Sun/1st Decan encourages him to learn more things. It’s like a shy younger brother hanging out with his big brother’s friends. The Leo hides behind clinging onto the Sag’s shirt and listens attentively, trying to absorb all the Sag traits through osmosis of being close.  

Virgo Mercury - 1st Decan (Ruled by Mercury/Virgo) (R)

Hey ok, so let me explain that having a retrograde in a placement doesn’t make it impossible for you to achieve your fullest potential in anyway. Please remember that! Having a retrograde is like, a personal challenge or a game you go back to and help stimulate yourself into acting better, doing better, understanding the placement better. Having a retrograde just means it’s working slower to realize itself than how your other placement might be, and it takes time and concentration to see when it’s missing in your person. Please don’t ever feel discouraged if you have your retrograde in any personal placement, see it as a fun puzzle you have to solve-- maybe a crossword or sudoku that makes you work a bit harder than normal? The sense of accomplishment you achieve at the end of a long journey will be worth it!  

Virgo Mercurian in the 1st decan has such a strong emphasis on their intellect and smarts, often time they have such pride in coming off a certain way or being acknowledged as someone reliable and dependable to others around them . 

Known for their humility and practicality in helping others out, they often want to be valued as a crucial part in team settings. 

There’s a need for mediation and diplomacy in this sign, they’re not just all about aggression or doing what they want to do. Instead they build structure in their thinking and people around them by establishing certain protocols or rules-- balanced/already established bonds can be hard to change once it’s placed, and often times they feel frustrated when someone tries to introduce a new adaptation or ideas to ‘improve’ what’s already a system for them to fall back on. 

Having a Virgo Mercury in such a strong intellectual placement (1st Decan) in retrograde makes Jungkook slower to realize his actual abilities/capabilities. He undermines his own smarts, often unsure or just a tiniest bit insecure about how much he’s contributing or coming off sometimes when discussing in a group environment. 

Constant feedback and communication helps him evaluate how he’s doing, as well as validation on whether or not he’s being purposeful or ‘serving’ others best/efficiently as well. 

There’s some difficulties in self-doubting himself that might lead to insecurities. He is fantastically smart and intelligent, he just doesn’t believe it sometimes. 

This is because he tends to place his insecurities first, observe and analyze and then never actually say his piece of mind when the opportunity presents itself . Even though externalizing his thought would help him so much with everything. 

There has to be proactivity within him in reaching out or making his voice heard more, even though he thinks it’s repetitive or ‘unnecessary’ -- he should realize that his voice and establishing himself verbally would help others understand him better. And help save him from awkward interactions or misunderstanding in the future-- costing his self-confidence and esteem nothing if not for the initial courage it takes to speak out in the first place.

People with Virgo Mercury in 1st Decan (in retrograde) has such a hard time expressing themselves in their earlier childhood years, this is because their retrograde isn’t fully realized yet. Once they grow older, they tend to ramble a little to themselves to make sure they externalize these thoughts out loud, learning how to actual talk to people instead of talking to themselves and overcoming that fear of communicative (please believe in yourselves!) would significantly help them tackle this retrograde. 

This also explains so much about how/why he’s so awkward, at the earlier debut days and how he often feels rigid and tense in front of a camera.

When he feels lost like he doesn’t really know himself, his defensive tactic is to uses his Virgo trait excessively. Because he feels more comfortable that way (remember the protective barrier his Moon/Sun has to use? It’s like that) 

He probably didn’t realize until he’s used it so much to hide the flaw in his developing character (Leo Moon) until he sees that all of the negative Virgo traits are visible now, so in trying to hide one flaw he emphasizes the other instead. 

A lesson for all of us to learn here is that you can’t overwork on placement to make up for the development of another. There has to be a balance and the signs are multi-dimensional. Nothing is truly just advantage without any disadvantage you know? Learning to live with both sides of the signs, accepting it, understanding and balancing it would help us tremendously. 

So this is where he looks for another source of outlet. His Scorpio Mars is prominent in his chart, and he can use this to balance his Virgo Mercury! But not in the way it’s supposed to sometimes.

His Scorpio Mars may be working fine on it’s own, but in his younger days he might’ve had some tendency to internalize his Mars (like he did with his Moon) and use it to regulate himself into behaving a certain way. 

To develop his Virgo Sun/Mercury, internalizing this will-power and abundance of self-drive (Scorpio) helps really rapidly build his Virgo placements. 

It can be harmful in the long run, as long as he learns how to not make it into a habit and not grow to categorize it as something he should fear (Virgo trait tends to categorize things as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and unpredictable/too powerful emotions can be seen as ‘needing regulation’ - i.e. his Moon and Mars energy) 

It can become an obsession (Scorpio) with trying to pursue a rigid structure or extreme self-disciplining.Making him think of himself as one-dimensional sometimes 

Him calling himself ‘a A-class robot who malfunctions occasionally’? Such an over-simplification Virgo Mercurian technique to make streamlined narratives they can understand ‘easier’ (sometimes easy isn’t the key here). 

Similarly seen in manga/content he consumes in order to develop/mature, it can lead to having a harder time seeing himself/people as multi dimensional people with different faucets to themselves ya know? 

His dislike of insincerity in people, ‘two-faced’ or ‘fake’ people? That’s because he won’t allow himself to be anything but his positive traits. It’s an ideal, no matter how impractical or impossible it might be.

In the end it’ll lead him to an disillusionment in the quality of people around him and of himself. Virgos are generally hard on themselves, not being able to reach the ideal or perfection can really spiral them into an anxious, nervous energy back lash that would led them to over-working themselves.  

He wants to exhibit just his good traits only and probably has a harder time even accepting that he can feel emotions that are ‘uglier’ or ‘bad’  - it leads to repression of said feelings and internalizing a lot of emotions. 

It’s almost like a projecting part of himself won’t accept onto others? The way he doesn’t like it when others do it? This simplification, overly-structuring his life to be as straightforward as possible. Also limits his exposure to the world and to different sorts of people around him. 

It’s a defensive tactic/habit when working/growing in the entertainment industry.But as he grow older he realizes that he can’t continue being like that, and that there’s so much inter-dimensionality in people. He has to learn how to understand this inside of himself, that it’s ok to have uglier negative habits as well as positive ones, and just allow himself to explore. 

His later comment about how happiness comes with pain, sadness, etc ( members have to define ‘happiness’ ) truly shows how much he understands this, and it comes with maturity and practice (patience) he’s grown to have throughout the years. 

Aspects

Mercury (Virgo) (R)  - Sextile - Mars (Scorpio)

With his Mercury (thoughts/expression) aligning with his Mars (desire for actions/physical energy) the health aspect of his Virgo really comes through with this one.

Whether he realizes this or not, whenever he faces mental blockage he uses his physical energy to externalize his frustrations.

Virgo is also a sign that takes a lot of their earlier childhood principles and still uses it to apply to their every day life (habitual creatures) so getting good habits/principles really matters to them.

Sometimes Jungkook might just resort to showing the people he cares through physical means rather than verbally (since it is in retrograde) -- small dedications or gifts/presents for the ones he love. 

Oh and about him not buying people birthday present thing....Virgos do little things for people only when they know it’s full of devotion/dedication, you can be sure he probably shows how he loves his hyungs in other ways. 

Most of the time it might be immaterial but things like mentioning little habits of theirs, taking them out, making time in his schedule to hang out with them etc. Makes so much more sense to Virgos and contains alot more meaning to their action than just buying them things based on traditions on birthdays.  

How Namjoon messaged him to listen to the song? He’s on it. If it’s something he can do for his hyung, he will do it. 

Also, since there’s a strong connection between his Mercury and Mars --  the idea of him using them interchangeably like I mentioned earlier is possible. Even with it working well for one another (supposedly) as long as he acknowledges how it’s working and tries not to over-compensate the balance it should be working just fine. 

When one has a strong positive/negative aspect, it’s like having a clear tube of communication between two planets/signs. The flow of whether it goes one direction more so than the other depends on how one uses it. Unlike harsher aspects, the energy flow can work easier both ways with some effort put into it. 

Mercury is in retrograde, so he might probably use his Mars to make up for it somehow. The way one use their energy interchangeably depends on the person themselves. But in his case, if going by earlier hypothesis he might’ve internalized some of the Mars energy into ‘fixing’ his internal issues. 

Mercury (Virgo) (R) - Square - Pluto (Sagittarius)

When Mercury the planet of communication has an aspect with the planet of Change (in the sign of expansion), there can be abit of difficulties seeing past one’s own fault and giving in to habitual traits revolving around bickering, nit-picking, criticizing that might frustrate himself and others around him.

Especially since mercury is a moving planet, once it has a harder aspect to Pluto there can be a feeling of further stagnancy in the way he communicate or think through things.

Feeling lost or unsure of who he really is or how well he communicates can come across to others (truly), leaving him to resort back to old habits and often stick closer to already established dynamics within his friend groups.

Sometimes this can also lead a person to not want to interact with others or try out different communication skills, Admitting his faults or rigidity in the way he thinks comes with frustration, and confrontations from others even in the most pragmatic way possible would often feel like a personal threat.

There’s a hesitance to changing himself/the way he thinks that might lead to self-isolation and often times reclusiveness.  

Libra Venus - 2nd Decan (Ruled by Uranus/Aquarius)

Libra in Venus is truly gifted with coming across well in social relations. They often impress others with their kindness, merciful actions and willingness to mediate between large groups of people so selflessly sometimes. 

This is even more amplified through the 2nd decan which is ruled by Uranus/Aquarius. Jungkook prides himself in his quirky habits and his independent thinking, often times when he cannot find satisfaction/feels unsure in his Virgo trait-- he resorts to using his Libra instead.

He’s often individualistic in his ideas, doesn’t like people copying what he likes/views and at time, tend to have a need for standing out even in the most basic way (i.e. his sense of style of just t-shirt and jeans?) 

Libra Venus can be prone to a lot of indecision revolving around making up their minds. This is because they’re so light in their touch involving others it feels like the slightest of breeze. Their gentle mannerism often turns them away from any form of aggression because it tends to scare them easily.

Even within himself, the intensity and force of Scorpio/Leo threatens the usually mild-mannered Libra and his Venus trait hides behind the strict presence of Virgo. This helps perpetrates the repression of Scorpio/Leo placement, but at the same time-- Libra can adapt and change their opinion of those traits easier than his Virgo placements can. 

They’re more lenient to the ‘unpredictable’ placement, because they’re an air sign themselves. 

Libra often tends to see things as a balance. Sure, they might be scared of it, but is it inherently bad?

Libra Venus in Jung kook generally helps him accept his Scorpio/Leo placement once he grows older, allowing them to move freely and become more present in his life under the guise of strict regulation from Virgo and Libra’s careful evaluation of ‘what would work best socially’ . 

All of these signs and placements can come to flourish and balance in the best way possible since he lets his.

Libra Placements: Naturally Gifted Social Workers or Awkward People who Works Hard/Adapt Fast

Let’s talk for a minute about how Libras actually work.

Everyone says Scorpio are the evil ones. But have you met a Libra?

Scorpios are too tormented by their inner selves to be outwardly hostile when there’s nothing going on-- they’re softies, just like all the water signs. Scorpio just seems like they’re up to something. But that’s just how they are misrepresented almost all the time (like all Mars-influenced signs).

Those Libras? They can seriously just throw you off a cliff and laugh about it, before calling it a joke. 

Jimin’s infamous side eyes and Jungkook’s teasing of people? Libran trait. Jungkook willingness to sell Jin for one corn chip in the latest run episode? Confirmed Libra trait (Jimin would too, have you seen the way his ego works sometimes? Such a Libra trait.)

They’ll check up on you to make sure you’re really ok, but do they care with feelings? Maybe just barely enough to make them seem like they care sometimes. 

For a sign that’s ruled by Venus and talks about social interactions, Librans are one of the worst in knowing when they’re going too far.

Libras have more in common with their Gemini cousin than they do to Aquarius. Whilst Aquarius stands firm in their individualism and their independence, Gemini fixate on taking on persona of those around them intellectually. Libras focuses on molding themselves to others and learning to build emotional/intellectual support for those around them. In a way, they’re like water-signs without being actually tormented by an array of emotions bombarding them at once -- best of both worlds right?  

Maybe, that’s because they’re an air sign. Even when they appear to be so genuinely and supportive, but good luck trying to build deeper connections with them that involves emotional growth on both your ends. 

Sure, they’re lovely people with a true sense of harmonic peace and genuinely care about the relationships that they’re having. But emotionally-wise they’re lacking (often to themselves and it reflects when others tries to have this conversation with them) -- so how/why do they appear to be so great at understanding others? 

It’s all hard work. Extremely strict logic and interpersonal efforts. Libras aren’t appreciated enough for the amount of care and dedication they put into their research. The effort they pushed into genuinely unlocking the true treasures and secrets of social relations. 

Are Libras naturally gifted with the gift of gab for getting along with people like the archetype says? Not at all! Through sheer dedication and the power of intention, they can build any sort of social relations from scratch and make what seems to be a ‘miracle’ (often, they don’t utilize this skills if they deem the other person ‘too much effort’ so don’t rely on them too much on that)  

Librans are possibly one of the most awkward people out there, especially in their childhood years. Have you met a Libra? There’s a sense of self-expression to them and that draws people in, but it’s an internal thing. They’re not ‘gifted’ with the natural buoyancy fire sign has to share this part of themselves with everyone else around them immediately. No, it usually starts off pretty systematic (i.e. smaller circle, hesitancy, building up confidence). 

Libras are so analytical and they don’t even realize it sometimes. They themselves aren’t very porous/receptive to people coming up to them to gain something from social interaction (water/fire sign placements)-- in fact they often have to learn how to deal with people and got better at it through time. 

They’re like Leos in a way, having a skill of self-expression that draws people in and then learning how to cope/deal with the people. Both of these signs often became more dependent on the responses/social interaction they get. But unlike Leo who gets emotionally hurt, Libras gets alarmed. 

It’s intellectual, it’s a mental stimuli thing. A fight or flight response for a Libra is to ‘resolve the situation immediately and see what the casualties are’. They’re like paramedics in a way. Practical, solution-based and often diagnostic. They don’t get enough credit for this and I’m mad about it because they are. 

Libras are also much stiffer than Gemini. Whilst Gemini has that versatility and natural adaptability, Libras tends to be rigid and more rational in their approach to other people. Is this going to work? How is it going to work? Is it at all possible to maintain? Those are the things Libras might be more concerned about than Geminis. 

With Libra Venus, there’s an emphasis in understanding how a bond work rather than the actual person they’re bonding with. Once they find they want to build that bond they want to know how to prolong it. What’s the dynamic? What’s the relationship about? How does it work? 

It’s almost mechanical/technical. Jimin’s Mercury in Libra? His love/appreciation may be true and deep for the person (Scorpio), but the way he thinks about the relationship-- there’s a lot of thought and consideration into lengthening it out, understanding how to work the relationship and balancing it with other areas of their lives. 

If relationship is a new phone, Libra natives are the type to grab the manual and go ‘ok so how do I maintain this/what do i need to know’. 

They want to be good at this, and it comes with a territory of effort that most people don’t realize/appreciate.  It’s all hard work gearing these kinds of social interactions to make it work. 

(Hoseok’s a bit more different, both in the tonality of his water/air sign. He has a much easier time using just his intuition for most things, and a more forceful approach in establishing or making those connections (Aquarius vs Libra)

Aspects

Venus (Libra) - Trine - Jupiter (Aquarius) (R)

Jungkook helping staff pick up the trash at ISAC and defending injustice when he sees it? More likely than you’d think with this placement.

With this placement his kind-hearted, genteel natured Libra is shining so brightly in to the general public, it makes him seem like a fair and harmonious individual that people naturally tend to gravitates towards him.

With the signs itself in Libra and Aquarius there’s a need to stand up against injustice that he sees around him, as well as help strangers, friends, just humanity as a whole. 

Since his Jupiter is in retrograde, the general public can see his good deeds later on past the time he’s done them. He doesn’t tend to dwell/ mind not being seen for it immediately, since Libra Venus focuses more on the now than in the past/future anyways. 

This aspect also brings him immense popularity for those who needs a little help or wants to support him. But he can be very selective on those he lets get close to him. 

Venus (Libra) - Opposition - Saturn (Aries) (R)

His sense of expression, in the fluidity of the Libra is hardened and restricted. He doesn’t know how to fully express his Libra and it’s often due to inactivity or not knowing how to start (Aries Saturn). 

Remember what was said about the signs having multi-dimensional layers to them? Well he can only access certain parts of his Libra because of this aspect. Often times, it restricts his sense of emotions and makes one cautious in showing their love for others. 

There’s a certain stiffness to his responses, since he doesn’t know how to instigate. And when the other person doesn’t initiate these expression of love/affection for a short while, it can lead him to feeling like they might’ve changed their mind and leaving the relationship for good sometimes. 

Needs stability and establishment in his life, yet faces difficulties with trusting/staying long enough to get them. Often riddled with insecurities about himself, he tends to nit-pick and become hyper-aware of all his grooming habits/short comings and tries to work on those as a solution to keep others interested in him. 

Scorpio Mars - 2nd Decan (Ruled by Neptune/Pisces)

Mars in Scorpio possess great energy and devotion to themselves. 

Since Scorpio was traditionally co-ruled by Mars before it was pushed into ruling Pluto. Scorpio Mars natives tends to have a great outlet for their inner tensions and self-driven will. 

Often possessing much physical prowess even with a frail or weak body, there’s something keen to Scorpio Mars focusing on externalizing that energy outwards that makes them seem like such proficient and busy-bodied people when they set their mind into doing something.  

They’re not prone to emotional outbursts, and like Capricorn they tend to hold themselves back a lot when it comes to other people. You will know when you’ve pissed them off, but unless they have other combative placement in their chart (Jungkook has that good Virgo Mercury/Leo Moon) they won’t resort to using their Mars until the last straw. 

His Scorpio Mars is completely at odds with his Libra Venus. Libra talks about making smart choices, complacent and able to compromise (mold themselves to others) until proven completely unjustified. Scorpio Mars talks about the will of self, uncompromising of their choices and feelings, and utterly stubborn until they’ve crashed and burned. This scares his Libra, and often scares the Virgo side of him too.

Scorpio will power can be a sight to see, but it can also border on obsession when it’s focused on a person/goal they want to achieve. 

It’s fixed nature allows it to be strong, often unfazed in the worst challenges or difficult situations-- as they meet the waves head-on. 

Their strength can turn into weakness. Since the uncompromising position can make them obstinate and often times-- selfish. 

To a Scorpio Mars, it’s all about riding that wave. More so than any logical or rational behaviour, they feel alive when they embrace the things they fear and transform that energy into making immense changes. 

There’s a true sense of rawness to a Scorpio Mars will power-- and it’s a testament to how competitive Jungkook could be sometimes.  

Scorpio Mars possess an ability to see through others (Pluto influence) they can manipulate and maneuver others to cater to their best advantage. Yet most of them don’t tend to use it for nefarious reasons, often time it’s for the betterment of the situation or just so they don’t hurt the other’s feelings sometimes.

Jungkook’s Leo Moon/Virgo Sun/Libra Venus would hate this placement if he ever uses it for evil. The power in and of itself-- to be evil or to not-- scares them. Despite being one of the most powerful placement on his chart, he works hard on suppressing this and channelling only a small part of his Scorpio Mars instead.  

Virgo Sun/Mercury doesn’t like disorder, it’s in direct discordance with the structure and self-reliance they’re trying to build (as well as Libra’s harmonious quality) -- often his Scorpio Mars are restricted, almost like it’s working in retrograde, but with his mars repressed it can often lead to him using his Virgo Mercury as an outlet for those inner frustrations instead.

There’s a sense that his Virgo/Libra placement has a strong need for harmonious quality without any of the negative effect. He often holds himself back from feeling negative emotions, often repressing himself and not really understanding who he really is sometimes (slower to realize how he’s feeling since he doesn’t allow negative emotion). 

Now, that’s in the kind-of-distant past. Jungkook now has a much easier time unwinding these inner tension inside of himself now. He probably realizes it too, that heading towards his current direction he would only be faced with self-inflicted challenges and difficulties if his other placement doesn’t get the space/time to shine. 

Through some understanding and effort, he can work on un-suppressing these placements. His Libra Venus meditates between the Virgo Sun/Mercury into letting his Leo Moon/Scorpio Mars come through. Focusing bit by bit on accepting his Scorpio placement would really help him become more discriminatory of people as he matures.

Now let’s touch on that 2nd Decan. Scorpio in the 2nd Decan ruled by Uranus/Pisces accentuate the positive qualities in both signs. 

With Pisces love and compassion, combined with Scorpio’s intensity and focused will-power, there’s a deep need for meaningful relationship and they’re often much more sentimental and willing to give than both of their native signs combined. 

Pisces sun and Scorpio suns both have problems expressing their love and needs in the external world-- but not when it’s in Mars/in Decans with each other. 

Jungkook lucks out in this one, since his Scorpio Mars placement makes him externalize kindness (Pisces) giving-natured (Scorpio) and sentimentality (Pisces) -- often appearing much more romantic and forlorn in seeking the perfect, idealized romance in his life (Pisces/Scorpio/Libra). 

There’s an ability to tune in to unusual wavelengths and sympathize with those who aren’t as  ‘conventional’ than most. It comes with Pisces, an intuition from the subconscious that he makes up in empathy and kindness instead of intellectual understanding for others (Sagittarius-traits). 

Aspects:

Mars (Scorpio) - Square- Jupiter (Aquarius) (R)

Despite how lucky he is with such a good and pure (yes, pure) Mars placement, the way he uses it might pose a problem anyways.

With his physical energy in a difficult position against his expansion/the general public, lady luck doesn’t seem to find it all that endearing sometimes.

Scorpio’s fixated nature (see: obstinate and head strong) tends to come out too much. He often refuses to listen to anyone else, uses physical exertion to settle decisions/habits (see: hitting his hyungs even when he doesn’t mean any harm by it) lash out when he panics or over-works his body in physical activities in order to calm down/settle his anxious mind/blockage. 

Mars (Scorpio) - Square - Uranus (Aquarius) (R)

This aspect combined with the one above makes him act kind of bullheaded sometimes. 

With the slow moving interception of luck (Jupiter) and vision (Uranus) in his Mars, he can be prone to moving/doing something before thinking it through and often leading himself into sticky situations that way. 

Its like the one strong character playing in a team-based game rushing off on their own and the rest of the team couldnt catch up in time to revive them. 

Kinda dumb mistake but with great power comes a great need for patience and to listen to others sometimes right?

Conclusion:

A lovely boy, a full-ass Virgo. Even more Virgo than Namjoon. Jungkook is Virgo in ALOT of ways.

He has so many different tonality to his chart through his placements and decans that you can see why Aries Moon (See: Jin, Taehyung) would be attracted to his Leo/Aries Decan Moon. Or his Libra/Aquarius Venus would attract/endure those with strong Aquarius (See: Hoseok, Taehyung) to him. 

I know I didn’t explain all the good lovely traits of a Libra but we all been knew how they’re like, I’ll probably go more into detail about it on either Namjoon (Libra Mercury) or Jimin (Libra Sun/Mercury)’s chart. 

With Jungkook, it’s just so fascinating to look at how his aspect is working for him/against him. Because that’s the main meat and grit to his character isn’t it? He faces his own challenges in his life and he overcomes it.

I think Jungkook is amazingly perceptive to his own person/chart, like either has amazing intuition or he just naturally know when to fix certain things in his character as he matures. 

Out of all the member, Jungkook is the one who’s developing at the fastest pace. I have a feeling that Jin had a period where he developed himself to a ‘good level’ and then stopped. But Jungkook is more of a consistent and stable climber, he really sneaks up on you. 

We talk so much about his Libra placement but we really don’t touch enough on his Scorpio or Virgo ones like? He’s the one with the double Virgo placement here.  

I don’t think there’s anything to worry about with him tbh, he’s so self-aware and just? so good at dealing with himself that he’ll get through anything and survive.

Not to mention recently he’s been handling himself differently than how he did before (I think around HYYH - end of DNA was the period where he feels static and is still figuring himself out?) After Fake Love debuted  he’s OFF! doing his own thing now, and I’m glad for it since it means he kinda figured something out within himself.

💕Hello! Thank you for reading this far! I tried my best with this post and wanted to give you some Good vibes to read in this hectic time in the bts-realm! I hope all this makes sense but I might come back and try to work through some kinks to make it flow better (I’m a bit dissatisfied with it) but at this point it’s been in my draft for too long and i want it out! After this, I have some girl group stuff I haven’t posted saved up so I’ll be going back to the regular girl-group schedule before I finish a BTS related post again, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! 💕

[fhawnmillahn]

Counting Meme

Fhawn

ONE INSECURITY

♦ “It’s... daunting thinking about whether my support, my benefaction, or... my ministration---that’s what I’d like to believe it was---truly brought him back and set him to the right path, once more. 

Where he traveled off to, I may never know, and whether he’ll maybe return tomorrow or never, who can say.” 

TWO FEARS

♦ Is... is it rational of me to somewhat fear those thaumaturges and their guild over in Ul’dah? I’ve witnessed what fire begets, temperamental and unyielding as it is. What it’s capable of is... terrifying, so when imagined in the hands of a some overconfident student...

I’ll admit, unless under duty or urgency, I avoid visiting the city if I can.”

♦ “I think I’m at my wits end with these weevils. If one more infestation decides to tear at my nettle and yarrow roots, well... I’d fear for their safety as much as my garden.”

THREE TURN-ONS

♦ “...Passion. For sure.”

♦ Though it’s impossible not to be vain about your interests sometimes, there’s just... something about gingers and their red-maned brethren. Such captivating colors.”

♦ “Perhaps I’ve been spoiled with present circumstances, but I sure do love the mind and artistry of a musician. However, I do wonder if it’s just my envy.”

FOUR LIFE GOALS

♦ “Green thumb or no, everyone is capable of assisting in spreading the bounty of verdure. There’s nothing quite like uniting all under the solace of a healthy, beautifully lush world. My heart races at just the thought of it all.”

♦ “This goes hand-in-hand with my previous statement, but I... would honestly love to offer flowers to every body inhabiting this world alongside me. Even if it’s just a single blossom, I think it’s both a blessing and reminder for all to know they’ll always have something to both cherish and share with everyone.”

♦ “I... I’ve recently thought about children and... maybe fostering a few.”

♦ “After my years have been shed and I’ve provided all that would secure the sanctity of both family and kin, I’d want to live out my remaining seasons adventuring. 

To see all that grows and blooms the land over would be my final dream.”

FIVE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

♦ “The coalescence of the early morning, home, and my garden. Waking to the soil and toil is sometimes all I need; it’s nothing short of a blessing experiencing such succor with every rising sun.”

♦ “Learning. Erudition. Being a student to the woods is fulfilling when I get to discover something new. Be it a seed, a leaf, or an unfound substance, there’s ever a secret waiting to be understood.”

♦ “Honestly? Receiving a level of intimacy and camaraderie; not so much the specifics but the rapport of it all. Knowing that someone’s time or attention can never be formally asked for, so when someone offers so willingly to me, it... well, it makes me glad to know they think that highly of me.

Perhaps that can be mistaken for pride, but... I am technically proud of the many friends and companions I’ve shared both time and thoughts with, as well.

♦ “There are times when I must away from home and the hearth, so when I return... and I’m greeted by all of my loving family... and Therron offers to play me a song... and I am struck by those lulling, sonorous notes...

...the sensation is to die for, truly.”

♦ “When all else fails, I break into my cupboard, pour an arbitrarily selected blend, and retire to Haven.”

SIX WEAKNESSES

♦ “I suppose I’m inevitably going to lose a match of physical prowess. Though, strength is more than brawn, as the wise are to say.”

♦ “As often as I’m assured sentimentality is virtuous, just as much reason can be played against it to argue sensitive and concerning flaws exist in altruism. And I suppose those that believe are right to be both aware and pragmatic about extending your care and concern to strangers.

...not that I’ll ever truly believe that. Everyone deserves some touch of kindness.”

♦ “Sometimes I get the impression certain people or parties might consider me strange or eldritch. In truth, they’re not entirely wrong... I’ve never fully fit into these social structures society has. Though, I suppose that is inevitable when you’re born away from society, grew up relatively apart from society, and continue to live out in the woods.”

♦ “If I could live a life without cold, steel machinery or strange tech-infused magicks tearing up the world, that would be heavenly.”

♦ “I have sensitive ears, and I don’t simply mean in response to noise. I... it’s difficult to explain, but more than just loud frequency, friction or even relative proximity to any sort of touch is... painful. 

I’ve never understood why either...”

♦ “Ironic as it is, I sometimes forget to maintain and properly heal my own body after serious labor and toil. So, as is expected, some days and night my back will ache, my shoulders might jerk, and I may pull a muscle or two if I get too comfortable working in the garden, carelessly. I need to hold myself to a better standard, but alas...”

SEVEN PEOPLE / THINGS I LOVE

♦ “My garden. I would be nothing without any and all of what green I manage to bless this realm with. May I never see a world without their cherubic beauty.”

♦ “Like loyal kin, my family at home has forever and always won my heart. Dew, Bleu, Piper... we’re all bound at the seams now. Though they have chosen to remain at my side, they are still of the wilder side of nature so I’ve always made certain there was a choice in their company. I’m... doubtful they fully understand, but whether that’s because of their attachment or my ministration is difficult to discern. 

Despite this, I... I cannot lie and must admit that I’m glad they’re still with me.”

♦ Tea. It’s astounding some days, really, because I forget how much of a remedy my home-brewing has been to me since my former years. I may very well have gone mentally unhinged without it, I think. It’s both terrifying and amusing to think about.”

♦ “Friends... acquaintances... companions... tutors... work affiliates... the whole wealth of motley individuals I suppose, from one face to the next. It would take till sundown to name them all by heart, and some I feel may have been lost to memory, but to all that have... simply touched my life, in what way they may, I... I could not be where I am now. 

This has nothing to do with coyly imply destiny or fate, either. I... I’m just happy for everything. Even the times when, perhaps, people weren’t their best, provided that’s not some fatuous notion to believe. I just appreciate them... all of them. They have all taught me something valuable and introduced me to an infinitude of thoughts and feelings that have inadvertently assisted in constructing who I am. For better or worse.”

♦ “Smiles. The pure, unfiltered expression of someone’s sheer elation and ode to joy. It doesn’t matter whether I facilitated to it’s existence or if it even has one, for seeing anyone smile, especially someone I care more extensively for, brings me a profound sensation I can never have enough of.”

“See, you’re probably smiling right now! It’s infectious!”

♦ “My beloved...

Continue to inspire me with ardor like no other. It is one selfish desire I’m glad to share in forever.”

♦ “Myself. Forever and always...”

Tagged by: @red-dawnbringer (thank you again, you bean)

Tagging: @dancingnlancing, @dandiilionz, @chxsingthemoon, @valourheart-xiv, @theforestsquiet, @nightmaze, @geisterfuchs, @elixirsgelsandherbs, @elyot-xiv, @yoiku, @season-of-maha, @nemophilisty, @ffxiv-whitefox, plus anyone else who is reading or curious to try. Might as well go for it!

( For anyone with alts, feel free to use whichever and however many characters you want for the meme! <3 )