#everyone has a different experience w disability

[softness-and-shattering]

.

Vent post

Wow i didnt realise there was a tag limit

[unproduciblesmackdown]

something abt The Family Unit as this bordered site potentially of a little system of authoritarianism being that it's really this example plenty of people have of how like, You Would Think "oh if the people In Charge realize the structural integrity of what they're in charge of & say they're Supporting is being degraded then surely on a practical basis they'd change course? compromise?" & like the compromises Are continually made to shore things up a little longer but it's a pyramid scheme & it's continuously crumbling. & the Logic of the authority is what's held on to no matter what, not whatever else is claimed to be the goal (e.g. having a Good Family, workplace, corporation, country...) & that means having all the power, which is never actually the case or possible so since that goal's never met it's really just about having More power (what's next, constant profit growth), & everything's oriented around That, such that yeah strategic fleeting compromises may be made but as this structure inevitably deteriorates further, i.e. the control as successfully applied power is being lost, it's not about compromising more & more until eventually things are egalitarian, it's more about lashing out & doubling & tripling & quadrupling down on the exact same measures always taken anyways, because of how the entire like belief is in being the authority, expressed by forever only following the logics of authority/hierarchy & control/abuse

that is to lead into how like, the Failure of [ostensible alternate practical goal: the cohesion of the perfect family(tm)] can happen in more obvious ways / on shorter timeframes than, say, the agenda of propping up an empire, & so there's like all this evidence of how even when the theoretically inviolate borders of The Family are ruptured there's like "wouldn't the relevant family members change their approach in the face of this undeniable failure. wouldn't they question themselves." b/c like, surely? how could you not? but the experience being overwhelmingly "absolutely they do not" with instead the doubling down, perhaps the strategic compromises that are then only used to wear away the targeted parties & then (perhaps after an incremental transition) be back at it once that defense is seemingly breached, but the same logic seems to "work" even in situations where whatever Unit is destroyed, partnership, family, friendship, acquaintanceship, b/c the sense of [i am entitled to More] is just like. undisturbed or "supported" by the ruptures & lack of access to whomever, the Denial of what they feel they're already entitled to. the dehumanization of others / No Need to ever have to consider & contend with those ppl's real feelings if you control their life enough anyways is all still at play & there's no room for even Now considering if you were wrong about how someone felt, so the logic might also default to things like "it's a total mystery but what matters is i was / am wronged" &/or "well things would've been great if i had my total authority like i should have & imagine i could have, so basically some Other enemy authority must be at fault (e.g. guess my child was converted by the gay agenda, the devil, the evil outside world, communist spies, anarchists, [the pc police the virtue signalers the woke dei agents the "almost forgot abt 'critical race theorists'"]" that it just so happens that agendas of Autonomy & Equality are ones that seem to inherently insidiously threaten & undermine their own. like yeah you're not wrong about that but in also true [every accusation a projection] form of course the belief must be that They are fostering bliss & freedom & the jealous evil agents of The Other are always trying to stop them :(

like "don't they realize this is counterproductive to the wellbeing of [what they're in charge of]" like compromises may be temporarily made along the way but not Really, no, & when push comes to shove it'll be about the priorizing of asserting & holding on to Controlling Lives vs anything that'd serve anything else. & that again, with families like you might see the decided Failure of that, e.g. very limited or completely absent relationship with an adult child, and you see that like. the Authority guardian/s who are the reason with it don't change their approach. any adjustments are strategic & meant to Ultimately restore the status quo; the people who managed to extricate themselves have to rely on their own ability to actually manifest their own choices to, say, be able to remove themself from the presence of this person if they want. and that like even with that lifelong experience of dealing with that Authority & the system under them it can be so difficult to believe like do they really not even question themself on all this despite the actual external consequences manifested? b/c the Logics are so different. the child made effectively Responsible for the actions of an adult or two / the supposed Wellbeing of the family is so much more used to having to consider others' Feelings & what might make them act xyz way, b/c of that impossible but evident tasking with being harmed if there's any Problems there, versus that the person "in charge of" the wellbeing of the family & individuals therein (& certainly the young children) being concerned with their own entitlement & whether everything seems to reinforce their authority, flexing it if not, disinterest in so much else, resentment for the physical needs of children as a begrudged investment in then lifelong entitlement to kids as property to give deference / whatever support you want. & when these "supported" children are never "grateful" enough, i.e. not noticeably thwarting efforts to access whatever a parent feels entitled to (with, exactly in line with all of this, pretty invariably Issues With (denial of) Any Boundaries, e.g. not allowed to close that bedroom door this is my house, not allowed to not want to be touched i made that body, not allowed to be unsupervised what are you hiding, not allowed to say no, not allowed to have feelings/moods/preferences/opinions not in harmony with mine...) like it's supposedly only an extreme, all the more sympathetic (to the authority parent) escalation of this Ingratitude to, if possible, escape the realm of said authority. can't believe they'd do this to me

just that tl;dr of like "but at this point [authority] is sabotaging themselves i.e. the longevity of any system where they even have that position of authority? surely they realize that & change their approach b/c they Have To?" & beyond "no, not necessarily" like it's so almost Necessarily that "they definitely will not & will just try to 'invest' in their perpetual authority (which is always trying to be Increased b/c it's also never total or unbroken) by upping the violence & lashing out & ignoring w/e they have to ignore b/c they do Not have any actual alternate way to address it" like no the parents lose the entire relationship with children & don't have Realizations abt it, don't question themselves, don't make a real change, don't stop feeling as, & increasingly, entitled

[drdemonprince]

Wld u say that people are either ND or NT (feels like a reductive binary sometimes), or that everyone has a different combination of ND and NT traits (ie neurodiversity as a ballpark w/everyone having a different combination & number of balls), & depending on how many ND or NT traits people have/notice abt themselves, they use the construct of neurodiversity to either identify as ND or NT? I'm confused here bc I'm also aware of those common invalidating comments of "we're all a bit autistic".

neurotypical is an enforced social standard, not an actual type of person. everyone deviates from that standard, to varying degrees, and every person has the potential to be told that the ways in which they deviate from standards makes them bad or wrong.

and so when a person says that "everybody is a little bit Autistic" they might intend to be diminishing of the disabled experience, but they're actually on the way to making an important realization. all the traits that are deemed pathological or disordered actually exist on a spectrum within all of humanity; those same traits exist in people who have not been deemed disordered or sick. there's nothing innately either good or bad about any of those traits, they simply are. they're an essential part of human diversity, part of what makes us human.

[cy-cyborg]

Hi! I'm trying to include autistic and/or ADHD characters in my stories but I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job. I'm neurotypical, so I fear I might find myself using stereotypes and that's not my intention. Do you have any tips? Thank you in advance, have a nice day!

Ok, so personally I have a lot of trouble coming up with advice for auDHD (autism + ADHD) because, well, the spectrum of experience is so large and there isn't a lot of consistency within the community in regards to what is considered good representation vs just stereotypes. There's a few outliers, like every one I know has agreed Sia's movie "Music" is offensively bad lol, but pretty much everything else I can think of is less clear cut. Generally though, if you want examples of media portrayals of autism done well, avoid anything from or connected to Autism Speaks. They are not a reliable source.

I only really have 3 suggestions:

decide what level of support your character needs. Support needs for autism are variable and they can fluctuate throughout a person's life, but typically, people will fit into one of 3 categories. In Australia it's Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 with Level 1 is defined as generally being low-support needs, and level 3 being generally very high support needs. Of course, it's a spectrum, so there's massive amounts of variably person-to-person, but as an author, it can be a good idea to pick one of the levels, because you'll typically find more specific information about how autism will present.

Find content creators (as in multiple) with both Autism and ADHD. It's a good idea to listen to the community directly, but when you're writing an AuDHD character in particular, you do need to be aware that those autism and ADHD can play into one another or in some cases, can cancel some traits of each other out (kind of). But it'll be different from person to person. They are very distinct disabilities, but they have some unusual interactions it's vital to be aware of. Ideally, you'll also want to try find auDHD people in the same age range and who are the same gender as your character. Different generations and age groups will treat AuDHD differently, and while It's not a hard and fast thing, both autism and ADHD manifest differently in men and women because of how we are socialized and raised (this applies to trans and nonbinary people too, they'll typically take on traits associated with the gender they were usually raised as, but not always. Personally, I showed a mix of both, but my traits do align more with the typical presentation of AuDHD in girls). Just a little side note, not every person creating content about Autism/ADHD is open to working with authors. Find content creators, listen to them, but don't ask them about your character specifically unless they have stated somewhere that they're open to helping with that kind of thing.

Find sensitivity readers and sensitivity consultants for autism and ADHD. A sensitivity reader goes over your manuscript once the draft is done, but consultants help you from even earlier on in the process. If you're worried about not doing the community justice, this is the best way to go. People online like myself can offer generalized advice, but SR's and SC's will be able to go much more in-depth with you and help you fix moment-to-moment issues in your story.

Some additional things to be mindful of as well when looking up further resources:

Both Autism and ADHD can make it difficult to regulate tone and emotion. This means you are likely going to get information from the community at some point that might not be easy to hear and you're not going to like how its presented to you lol. They're going to be blunt and maybe even "rude". It's not personal (usually lol) but don't expect everyone to be polite, and don't only take criticism from those who are. Tone and emotional regulation is literally a part of both disabilities for a lot of us, and this is a topic a lot of us have strong feelings about to begin with.

I mentioned it already, but avoid taking advice from anything connected to or directly from Autism Speaks.

Social media tends to favor low-support-needs folks, so you'll find info about them, from them, much easier. Even if you're writing a LSN character, be mindful of that bias

Be wary of anyone claiming autism/ADHD is a superpower unironically. This is one of those things that's said by a lot of lower support needs folks and is often a warning sign that they might hold harmful beliefs about other parts of the community and could give you bad info. Just again, something to be aware of when researching.

[yagamisdiary]

hey girl let me just vent about how sexy you are ok. So the year is 2021 I'm in bed scrolling through Tiktok and keep on seeing girls crying over Eren fanfiction and I thought who are these dumb bitches crying about Eren fanfiction let me tell you I'm the eren yeager fanfiction library I know the ins and outs of every eren yeager fanfictions its in my blood yk anyways, I enjoyed them but I never cried over them and stuff at the TIME. so I'm like the girls never lie, so I got on my little reading app I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's called w-w-wattpad anyways type up parasite first thing to come up mind you! and I see it 20hrs+ and I thought HELL NO these 13-year-old girls r on some mad shit rn I'm not doing all that. So I sat on it for a few days and videos on my fyp kept on coming up and I was in lockdown so I didn't have anything better to do SO FUCK IT. I started reading I'm a hater bro I was trying too hard to be different anyways I get to the bonfire chapter and when y/n goes to Eren and gives him that snore OH SOMETHING HIT ME my feet were in the air giggling like a little kid let me tell you and I was addicted since that day, even dragging y/n feet down in the lake, THE STARGAZING AND THE DONT KISS ME HAUNTING MEEEEE,eren being a stoner and an emo boy is forever in my soul and sorry guys unpopular opinion but the disabled toilet scene was lowkey good like forgot about that goatee hehe…. but when she got SHOT LIKE TWIN I FELT THAT TOO, MY HEART WAS BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST, BREATHING WAS GETTING SHORTER like its real emotions let we tell you. Dont get me started on the way Eren was so caring afterward my man my man knows how to treat a girl right and then the Halloween chapter and which was the latest chapter at the time and this was the one everyone was crying about so I got my tissues knowing I won't be needing them so I'm reading 3 am mind you, boneing sesh, hot, in love, Eren outfit slays, when that door opened to yk I was ready to fight a bitch, like my blood was boiling it was sizzling and I thought my baby going to stick up for this fine ass NO LETs BREAK UP ITS NOT FUN ANYMORE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER GIRL YOU CRY ALL THE TIME HAVE PANIC ATTACKS AND YOU RELY TO MUCH ON ME, the way I'm crying is real THAT SHIT hit so hard it's not even funny like these "dumb bitches" were right THIS IS A REAL BREAKUP like I can't even say how I was feeling cause it was so much, like sleeping that night wasn't an option. But then I managed to get some sleep and I woke up to the most sexy notification of the ages parasite update chapter called Eren's Halloween I WAS SHITTING BRICKS. Anyways what I'm trying to say is that this book has been such a big help to me over the years this is my escape and a place where I can find something different and I just wanted to tell you cause I have been holding this in for three years buddy like I'm in the shadows liking your stories following you on everything but has always been too scared to say anything so here I am saying something and over the last few weeks its been really hard on me, mentally and physically and ik parasite is construction you could say BUT BITCH TAKE YOUR TIME CAUSE, TIMELESS WORK TAKE TIME MWAH back to my point I have been thinking in my head about different scenarios and points in the book to make me feel better and its so weird but I start smiling like its not just the book but the community around it too. So I'm going to wrap this up cause my fingers really hard but please take care of yourself and I hope you r eating good tonight xoxo Your stalker from 2021

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read & a canon experience i fear

[ahdkshax]

saw a post abt how different people react to disability in ppl (saying that younger, alt folks are more likely to be ableist in the ops experience) and i didnt have any experience w younger folks giving me shit for my limp/sitting down (the most they would do is sit in places i would have preferred to, which i cant fully blame them for since everyone needs to sit sometimes, and its not on their fault that a grocery store only has three total seats in the full store)

but i have bad feet and cant stand for very long, and my shift i was restrained to a tiny box that i had to stay in for like 6-8 hours. my boss let me have a chair to work from, but i was nervous bc i live in a small town and it has a lot of the "kids dont want to work these days" attitudes. the kind that say if a worker isnt busy 24/7 theyre not doing enough and should be fired. but i ended up meeting up with the gambling manager of the store as she was fixing something in my area.

now the gambling manager, she was old, she looked mean, and had back issues--but she extremely nice and, most importantly was my number one voice of self respect. she told me that if anyone gives me shit for sitting while i work, i should give them shit back. make them uncomfortable with what they said to me.

and you know what? while i worked i got a few middle aged folks coming through making snarky remarks about how im "napping on the job" by sitting while i scan and bag their items (at a pace much faster than normal, most definitely because i wasnt in Extreme Pain while working). and i made every single one of them uncomfortable bc i mentioned that Yeah, its because i have plantar fasciitis in both my feet and i cant walk after standing in one place for, like, an hour if im having a really great day, 20 minutes if im realistic. yeah it feels like im walking on hot coals when i stand for too long and there have been several, several times ive had to make a crutch out of a shopping cart so i can make it to my car its been so bad.

and they squirmed bc these were working class people who worked in construction and factories and knew what that felt like and/or does to someone. immediate sympathy from these guys, ended up talking about shoes with them.

now that im thinking about getting a cane to help with supporting my walking so i can walk further with less pain, im gonna keep what that manager told me in mind, i think. of course, telling some people i have fucked up feet probably wont garner much sympathy if they havent seen someone else with it or have experienced it themselves, but im sure i can think of a way to be just as rude back to them.

[redjennies]

In regards to Dragon Age, what really gets me is that people miss the part where the Circles and Templars- while both being *bad*- are fear-responses rather than thinly veiled and easily defined vehicles for oppression and bigotry entirely. They’re not equivalent in any meaningful way to real world institutions like that.

The setting established from the beginning that Mages can- even unintentionally- be very dangerous. It’s not irrational to be a little nervous about people that can level city blocks in a temper tantrum, or become vessels for demons by accident, because these are documented realities; it’s not a matter of ‘oo witchcraft!’ because they actually can do those things. Oppressing and holding these people at gun point, who acquire this power through no fault of their own, is vicious bullshit- but it is a flawed solution to a very real problem, not an invented one. Of course they’re terrified! Mages have demonstrated in extreme cases the ability to bend the flow of time or punch holes in reality!! We’ve watched them do it in the games! What can anyone else do about that?

That doesn’t in any way justify the circles or what the Templars do and act like, but the idea that they literally only exist to be the world’s most obvious oppressors is so dumb. It doesn’t help that the setting forgets it too sometimes.

FUCKING THIS THO.

I don't know how long you've been following my blog, but this is like the crux of my major issue with the Dragon Age fandom. it's not that I'm anti-mage, pro-Chantry. most of my personal canon playthroughs are pro-mage because as I said, in the first two games, siding with the templars means murdering all the mages, which is not my personal cup of tea. my issue here is that this specific oppression metaphor does not work for me for the exact reasons you listed, and yes, that's a problem I have with the writing, but I could deal with bad writing if the fandom at large was willing to add this layer of nuance to the discourse.

like at this point, my expectations for DA4 are abysmal. I will play it and I will probably not shut up about it for weeks, but one thing I'm genuinely excited about is Tevinter because the politics of Tevinter actually make fucking sense. as I've said before "RIP to Circle mages, but if I could throw fireballs, I simply would not let guys with swords oppress me." if we're introducing magic to a setting, it makes more sense for people with literal special powers to be the privileged class (or a more than the oppressed class because otherwise, you end up with this metaphor backfire of accidentally saying "yes, oppressed groups are inherently more dangerous than your average person." regardless of whether your conclusion is that "being bigoted against them is still bad."

I've talked about this before too, but it's extra infuriating because Bioware actually got the "how would magic interact with systems of power" situation right with the biotics in the Mass Effect series. Liara having space magic isn't the same as Kaidan being a biotic. Liara is a member of a species where everyone has biotics and has for some time so they know how to use it without hurting themselves. while Kaidan, on the other hand, was part of the first generation of humans to develop those abilities. it's two completely different experiences, and the game frames the problems Kaidan faces as a human biotic as being tied to his specific experience as someone who developed what were until recently supernatural abilities that could kill him (and by his own account, did kill other children like him) and being fitted with a faulty implant due to humans not having the technology to treat him. while he does mention being stigmatized for "being a freak," Kaidan isn't inherently oppressed for just having magic. he is a disabled test subject who the government would quickly abandon to deal with his physical and mental trauma on his own were he not in the military and he is considered "one of the lucky ones." still, while the specifics of his trauma are fantastical, the general theme of what happened to him is rather realistic given how we treat people with disabilities in the real world.

so to circle back to the Dragon Age mages, were it not for the Templars being meanies, there's no real drawback to being a mage in Thedas so long as mage children are trained properly. it has been around for several generations, it is incredibly powerful, and would you look at that? they have been conveniently put in one place where they can easily communicate with each other and organize. seriously, though, how did the mage rebellion not happen sooner? I mean you could make some comment about why the proletariat, the largest class, does not simply eat the bourgeoisie, but that falls apart when you remember I cannot shoot lightning from my hands.

and what gets me is how many Dragon Age characters are thrown under the bus for simply remembering people CAN shoot lightning from their hands. an obvious example I'm still mad about is Sera, who was initially widely hated by the fandom for being afraid of magic when she literally just has arrows and jars of bees. it still drives me up the wall that Anders fans act like Anders' trauma at the hands of templars inherently absolves him of any wrongdoing, but Fenris just needs to get over Tevinter mages enslaving him and be friends with Anders, who is regularly shitty to elves, and join his fight for justice already. like it is genuinely so funny how most of the fandom hated Dragon Age characters like Fenris and Sera and Vivienne because they firstly committed the sin of "having weird feelings about letting guys with fireballs do whatever they wanted while being a minority" and then the Mage Rights crowd who love their white boy Anders will turn around and be like "why would Chantry stans do this?" like WHAT?

[1863-project]

so for your poll abt abelism in fandom communities - i voted yes + reblogged but i will say i dont 1000% know im doing this right.

but for my experiences its been a lot of stigmatising of cluster b personality disorders. i have BPD which is already incredibly misunderstood/stigmatised but especially in fandom spaces where its "i headcanon x character w bpd" and immediately met with "no u cant bc ppl w bpd r evil and functionally not even ppl!!! all they do is hurt ppl they care about fuck them fuck ppl w bpd!!!" which

is incredibly harmful, as you'd imagine.

as well, i have autism and suspected schizophrenia and OCD (autism diagnosed, i am working on getting evaluated for schizophrenia and/or OCD) and fandom spaces can be incredibly rude to people with autism. whether it is schizophrenia related or not, i deal with extreme bouts of paranoia. fandom spaces also have a tendency to play into this - ie "joking" threats to be in my walls to hunt me down to kill me because i have a different fandom opinion.

its. alot. and i avoid most fandom spaces because of it.

Anon, I'm so sorry this has been your experience, because it absolutely should not be. This is the entire point of doing the poll and using the data to work on an essay - this behavior needs to be addressed and acknowledged as harmful.

I'm autistic with OCD myself, and this website is definitely bad to people with OCD. The misunderstanding of intrusive thoughts and how so many people become purity police and assume those intrusive thoughts actually mean you want to do something instead of understanding that they cause OCD folks extreme distress and anxiety is really, really harmful. And don't get me started on autism - I've been out in the real world doing self-advocacy for over a decade now, and the way a lot of people in fandom spaces treat autism is abysmal - there's even a lot of internalized ableism on that front, i.e. "I can't be ableist because I'm also disabled!" We all have internalized ableism to work through because of the world we live in.

Cluster B personality disorders and psychotic disorders get it the worst, though, with people treating those with them as "inhuman" and "evil" more often than not. No one is inherently more "evil" than anyone else. A personality disorder doesn't necessarily indicate that a person is bad. A psychotic disorder doesn't, either. BPD in particular actually makes a person very vulnerable to being abused due to the nature of how it works, but people love ignoring that part.

RE: people using your paranoia to send hateful anons, be really careful about what you share about yourself online. If you give too much information about what specifically can be used to hurt you, some people will absolutely do it. I know I may sound like an overly cautious adult to many of you (I'm 34), but when I was a teenager, we didn't put any personal information online in order to keep ourselves safe. If you aren't talking to people you really trust, don't necessarily share that information, because people are often cruel when they feel they can be so without any repercussions. Don't put all your triggers in your Carrd, don't make massive DNIs with all of the things that can hurt you in them - just use the block button and protect yourselves. Not everyone is acting in bad faith, and indeed, most humans aren't, but there are always some who will, and if they know how to hurt you or get back at you, they won't hesitate to hit where it hurts.

I'm sorry you have to remove yourself from fandom spaces just to feel safe, anon. It really isn't fair and you should be allowed to have a safe experience too.

[queeniesrose]

Welcome everyone to my palace! I am Queenie. You can call me that or Rosie, I will respond to both (She/Her). This is my main blog, where I will be writing for several fandoms. Middle Earth and Pokémon have already graced me with their presence, here at the palace. Soon Six of Crows, Twilight, and some other unknown guests will make their way here. 

Please make yourself feel at home. Guides are never far to help you navigate your way around the palace. All rooms will be marked with SFW or NSFW. If you are not of age, please steer clear of all the NSFW rooms. 

Modern Middle Earth AU Information | Six of Crows AU Information

While this is not a request blog specifically, my inbox is open for conversation or suggestions. I WILL take the odd request if I get one in and feel like I can comfortably write it. If you do decide to request something specific for me to write, please take a look at this post.

The majority of my posts will be written as gender neutral. All pronouns will be They/Them.  When writing smut, I tend to lean towards writing for AFAB, as that is what I know best and most comfortable writing. I will write BOTH AFAB and AMAB upon request. 

I do have a master list for each fandom, which are linked below. It will be updated with links every time a post goes live. Sometimes, you will be able to see what kind of content will be posted ahead of time. Each library has sections for each of the characters I write for often. Any characters that are written, but not often will be found under a section called "Other"

Curious why some of my posts are labeled as a Modern Character? Check out this post and see what it’s all about!

Want to know more about my Six of Crows AU and see what I have changed? Check out this post to find out more!

Middle Earth Library

Pokemon Library

Six of Crows Library

Twilight Library

For almost all major holidays, I will be doing a holiday special with characters from a set group of characters, which I will call, The Royal Family. I will be doing a max of 10 characters for each holiday. While I would LOVE to include holidays of different religions, I will not be writing about holidays I am not very familiar with. I don’t want to disrespect any religion/way of life by writing something that won’t be factually correct or would be insensitive. 

The major holidays that I will be including are: New Years | Easter | Thanksgiving | Christmas

Holidays that I might include are: Valentines Day | St. Patrick’s Day | April Fool’s Day

The Royal Family: Thranduil | Legolas | Haldir | Aragorn | Thorin | Fili | Kili | Bard | Rika | Leon | Raihan | Milo | Larry | Sycamore | Kaz Brekker | Nikolai Lantsov | Emmett Cullen 

Things I will write:

Fluff: Want to see something cutesy that I haven’t written? Send it in!

Smut: I will not shy away from writing smut. Although, I will say I am still working on becoming better at this. 

Platonic: Don’t want romance to be the driving point of the relationship? Ask for a scenario and there's a chance you shall receive!

Kinks: I will write about kinks. There are some that I will not write, which are listed below. If it’s not on my “Will not write list”, there is a chance I will write it. 

There is some stuff that I absolutely will not write.

Underaged Characters: Depending on the fandom, I will not write NSFW or romance for any character that is canonically underage. Pokemon, specifically, is one that I will not age up or write NSFW/romance for.

Specific Kinks: Noncon/Dubcon, DDLG, Scat, Piss, Feet related, Master/Servant, Hardcore Kink Lifestyle.

The only exception to Dubcon is Somnophilia. I am willing to write about Somno in certain situations. 

Mental Health Issues and Disabilities: I do not have experience with having any mental health related issues or any disabilities. I will not be able to accurately represent them nor do I want to trigger anyone if I can help it. Suicide, Self-harm, Rape, eating disorders, will never be mentioned in any of my posts. 

Pet play: I will not be writing anything that is related to pet play. So no collars, tails, ears, cages, acting like an actual pet, etc. It doesn't matter what 'animal' you are into being, I will not write it. This 100% includes pokemon. I will not write anything where a human is in relations with an actual pokemon or relations between two pokemon.

If you want to suggest or request something, check out this post to see how to format!

Please be kind to others as you interact in my palace. While those who are under the age of 18 are welcomed to enter the Safe for Work sections of the libraries, please remember that this blog is primarily for the 18 and older. 

Newer NSFW books will have warning labels as to some things it contains. If the contents is not your cup of tea, don’t read it. 

I do have some custom hashtags that I will be using on posts. If there are any you don’t want to see come up in your feed, you can block them.

Queenie Speaks: This will be attached to any non writing related posts. So, it will be attached to all of the responses to asks and random posts.

Rosie's Royal Announcement: Any major announcements I have will have this tag. This will include any changes I make to the blog, future plans for posts, etc.

Chaos Queen: This will be on any post where I am being chaotic.

Spicy Queenie: This will be on all of my NSFW works. If you don't want to see NSFW, block this tag. 

Queenie's Modern Middle Earth: This tag will be for all of my Modern AU posts.

Queenie’s Six of Crows: This tag will be on all of my Six of Crows posts

Queenie’s Twilight: Any and all Twilight posts I do will have this tag attached to it.

[anerdyfeminist]

I think that folks like me need some term to describe the liminal space between “healthy” and “chronically ill.” Does this exist? I can’t recall one.

After years of reading disability activists and talking lots w/ a few chronically ill friends and family, I can understand that I experience tons and tons of privilege in my physical state day-to-day. I am pain free enough that I can physically do like 85% of what I want to in life. Rouge surgeries aside, I only take like 3-5 actual sick days per year off work. I can usually physically navigate most public spaces.

But also? I feel like shit a lot. I have IBS/chronic stomach issues, endo pain flares, joint aches, a few cardiovascular/lung issues. I have to see a few different specialists. My interactions w/ healthcare professionals is a mixed bag w/ several very concrete stories of being ignored, dismissed, shamed.

When I talk to young “healthy” people I realize their experiences are sooooo different. Like I’ll mention a couple of things that are mundane/normal going on w/ me physically and they will get like kinda alarmed and it’ll make me remember that everyone has a different baseline of what is “normal” for stuff like this.

[whiskey-bumblebee]

tips to make your fanfic more accessible (1/?)

When it comes to writing reader insert characters, or even original characters that are meant to be broadly relevant to your audience, it's important to write in a way that doesn't exclude people with marginalized identities from reading and connecting with your work. Everyone deserves to feel loved and represented! Since fanfic is an escape for so many of us, it's so crucial that the language we use is accessible and embraces the variety of people who might be reading your fic.

Disclaimer! I am a white, cis, plus size woman, and I would hate to misrepresent something, or leave things out, so I would LOVE to hear from some Black, BIPOC, trans, and/or minority readers about things that make you uncomfy/take you out of the story. I can add them to this post w/ credit, or you can comment below :)

Physical appearance:

-A big one here is hair. Not everyone has a hair texture or style that someone can lovingly comb their fingers through. Some readers (for extremely valid reasons, including the fact that in some contexts it can be rooted in racism) might not like the idea of a fictional character putting their hands in the reader's hair!

-The fix: think about what you're trying to convey with the action of hair-touching. Is it affection? Closeness? Foreplay? Could the character stroke the reader's hair instead of running their fingers through it? Could they trace the reader's ears?

-Another big one! Body ody ody! There's so much to say here, but I'll start with shape and size. Not everyone will be able to fit into their favourite fictional character's clothes. And for some plus size folks, it is just not realistic for a character to pick them up and throw them around. I love my body, and I don't know a single fictional character who would be able to lift me! This isn't embarrassing or asking for compliments, it's just my bodily reality.

-The fix: what terms do you use to describe the reader's body? Are they exclusive or implicitly biased? Is your reader lithe, with long legs and "a handful" of breast tissue? Is someone throwing your reader around like a sack of potatoes, or pinning them up against a wall, with no additional support?

Ability:

-This is a self call-out as well, but I've noticed that there aren't a lot of multi-chapter fanfics which include characters with disabilities. This is tricky, as I think a lot of writers might not necessarily have lived experience with needing mobility aids, or things like blindness and deafness, etc. I don't necessarily think that able-bodied writers should be attempting this, but it's something to think about.

-The fix: Could your character achieve their movements with a prosthetic limb? How might they experience things differently if they're overstimulated? Uplift fic writers with disabilities and diverse lived experiences! Reblog their work!

Sex and gender:

-This one is also a bit complex because writers might not know exactly where to start when it comes to writing someone with a different gender identity, or mode of presentation. Especially when you're writing explicit sex scenes, I think it's okay to write things with a specific anatomy in mind, as long as you're clear about who you're writing for from the outset (e.g. character x fem!reader in the chapter notes or A/N).

-Not everyone who likes being called "good girl" has breasts and a vagina. Some men don't have penises. Trans and intersex people exist and are incredibly LOVED and CHERISHED on this blog. <3

-The fix: If you're writing a fic where anatomy is less important, go for gender neutral terms of endearment, and gender neutral pronouns. Maybe switch things up and try writing a reader character with a different gender identity to your own!

_________________________________________________

TL;DR- 1) Uplift fanfic by underrepresented communities (this can vary by fandom, but queer/LGBTQ+, BIPOC, disabled, and neurodivergent authors are a great place to start!)

2) Do an accessibility proofread- does your reader have any characteristics that aren't broadly applicable to readers? Are these characteristics essential to the plot?

3) If you're part of a minority community, embrace the things that make you unique! Let writers know if they're excluding you. Or as a writer, write yourself down. Produce some of the representation that you can't find elsewhere (if you feel up to it).

4) Write from a place of love. We love what we write about, whether it's characters, story worlds, or one bed tropes. Extend that love to all of your readers :) <3

[troglobite]

kljfaksd

question for my irl friends is this

did you grow up w ppl pretending to be your friend as a joke, or fake asking you out (or alternatively, being The Only One to NOT be asked out, making it a spectacle w an audience), or ppl taking advantage of you for their own gain, often by means of making you think they liked you?

were the majority of your friends randos from other actual friend groups who thought you were funny or useful or entertaining, and so, bc you had no other recognizable Group to hang out with, they basically took pity on you?

did you stop getting invited to parties after the age at which inviting everyone in class became obsolete?

were you called, a million times by a million different ppl in a million different circumstances, annoying? not in subtext, not through guesswork or anxiety brain. literally, to your face, called annoying by so many people, including friends. at all stages of your life. regardless of what personality and behavioral changes were made to try and STOP being annoying.

bc basically if not that really explains why everyone ignores basically everything i say, and no one wants to talk to me unless i 1. can be a charity case 2. am providing something for them that they like.

yes, this includes even when i ask them how they're doing or what's up, or specifically bring up something that they enjoy and expressed interest in discussing.

the charity case thing comes out HARD when i mention being the only one in the discord. or being alone. and wanting to hang out w my friends. or being disabled and sad. or when i express any emotion for which the correct and desired response is comfort.

there's just a lot of incongruity between 'you're the best dm! and a great friend! you're great and we love you!' and fucking radio silence and being ignored for weeks on end.

like i am. going Through It. and no one has offered to check in. and i stopped complaining/seeking comfort bc no one wanted to provide it.

and i haven't checked in on anyone directly because i have told them i don't do that because i know they're busy. and also bc trying to do so in the past yielded basically no results and made me apparently even more annoying. i have communicated this more than once, that i deliberately don't check in directly on purpose bc i know they're busy. and the discord is THERE FOR THEM TO USE, TOO. even when i'm using it regularly, i'm not in it CONSTANTLY. and when they DO use it, i respond!!!

so i check in in other ways, by bringing up interesting or important or funny things, or things that i think specific ppl will find funny or interesting.

still. nothing.

and every time i mention this during the rare fucking moments that we actually hang out on zoom, it's just a chorus shouting me down of how it's not intentional or personal.

okay. sure. thanks.

now can we get to the part where we collaboratively figure out how to make sure i DON'T feel like RANCID SHIT bc you guys are modeling the EXACT behaviors of my 'friends' and bullies throughout my entire fucking life?

or how abt when we're hanging out for the sake of my mental health--which they encouraged, which i asked for, and they obliged--i basically end up third wheeling it. nobody talking to me. nobody playing games w me. they're just playing bg3 with each other, not including me, and talking not consistently loud enough for the mic to pick up, and abt shit and ppl i've never heard of and trying to catch me up is just annoying. like a hang out that was supposed to make me feel better just makes me feel infinitely worse.

or how in any hang out ppl basically just never want to let me experience a breadth of emotions, or share abt my life, or any of that shit. i ask abt theirs and express genuine interest bc i do genuinely care. and i listen to conversations go on around me, sometimes with me. but somehow when talking i just fuck up and am annoying and my life isn't interesting and if i talk abt it i'm just sad and annoying and sucking up all the air in the room.

idfk man. everybody has their own issues and trauma but every time we talk abt childhood stuff in school i'm the only one who's met w like. Sad Silence. i'm the only one w nothing to share bc i can't/don't relate bc my childhood was just being bullied. constantly.

and somehow the ones who experienced some negativity had groups of cool or fun friends and they got through it that way.

i couldn't bc my friends were also the bullies. idk man it's 4 am i'm sad and tired and my hand still isn't fully healed and i should stop typing.

idr why i started thinking abt this. but something just. reminded me. anyway.

i guess i'm just tired of it being 'that's just an anxious thought that's irrational :)'

when it's like. no. my literal FRIENDS throughout my ENTIRE LIFE have told me TO MY FACE repeatedly that I AM ANNOYING. i have been ostracized or punished or ignored or mocked or gaslit. i was bullied basically my entire childhood and past that, it was pity and self-defense that kept me with any semblance of friends.

even to ppl who hsould've been or said they were my closest friends, i am. just not that important ultimately.

i'm tired of not being a priority in anybody's life. i matter so little. and i'm so tired and so jaded and so TIRED. SO FUCKING TIRED. that i don't WANT to start over. i don't WANT to try and make new friends i'm TIRED.

making friends is literally a SOURCE OF FUCKING TRAUMA. straight up i remember my first day in fucking preschool vividly bc i'm so inherently bad at making friends. and it just set the tone for the rest of my life.

so i don't want to. i've tried many different ways to be friends. i've spent a lot of energy. and right now i feel insane and evil and selfish and cruel for being like.

i just want to prioritize myself.

bc it feels like maybe that's all i've done my entire fucking life. and i;m just a narcissistic (dsm not involved, just a descriptor/adj) piece of shit whos self-pitying and unselfaware and refuses to change.

but it FEELS like ive tried changing a lot over the course of my life.

idk. im just at a stage in my life where i want friends and relationships. but the daily upkeep is a lot. i want casual conversations and check ins. not huge obligations. i want to work up to that. bc the thought of someone depending on me feels awful and like too much. like id run away from it.

but i want friends.

and i guess. i guess i DO sort of try to maintain friendships in my own way and it just. doesnt matter. bc they dont try to maintain them with ME. they just. assume/know/take for granted that i'll be there. bc of course i will. im lonely and desperate.

and the last time i tried setting boundaries and asking for support in specific ways, it blew up in my face and i ended up losing all my friends.

and now im just stuck. taking care of health stuff. being sad and miserable. doing work. playing catch up. i dont have the time energy or physical ability to gameplan. or have a complete dialogue w the player who blew things up for me at the dnd table.

im exhausted. im literally freshly traumatized (recently discovered when i had a literal autonomic nervous system trauma reaction). im tired. and id just like support.

but asking for it directly got me nothing. asking indirectly got me nothing. so im just. not even trying anymore.

and it feels awful to say that its a test for them to see if they even notice or care that im not present in the discord or talking to any of them anymore. but like. it is part of it. its secondary to the main part which is that:

it feels awful, like gut-wrenchingly fucking awful to be sharing bits abt your life, sharing things you love and WANT to share, sharing things to entice others into convo, sending things bc they made you think of them, and to receive fucking silence in return.

or the occasional pity reply.

and when even those pity replies taper off and stop? like fuck, man.

'they're busy and have things going on!'

i know. that's the problem. everything else, for every single one of those ppl, ranks higher in priority than me. including other relationships. i dont get to be on par with any of that.

meanwhile in terms of friendships, they are my TOP priority.

but its not reciprocated.

so at some point its like. why would i keep following the annoying as fuck advice abt like 'dont stop reaching out, theyll be glad you did!'

bc its clearly just not true for me and any of my irl friends. and never has been and never will be.

its not even bc of covid, ive just. never been anyones serious priority. or a treasured friendship. and when i have, like ONCE, it fizzled out bc of other ppl who ended up being more important.

and i dont mean this in a 'i have to be the only person in your life' way

you can have MULTIPLE priorities, all of differing levels and grouped in different ways

but being grouped in the same way but not receiving the same priority or care. like. thats what sucks.

and then like. specifically this one friendship im thinking abt, i was there for her through SO MUCH SHIT. i worked my ass off to make sure i was threading the needle on being supportive and not pushing her. and i wanted her safe and happy.

and ultimately it was for nought bc abusive relationships are like that

bc to be told 'i want you to share more with me and be vulnerable with me' and then

i do it. i literally did it.

and like. on the one hand, maybe she needed practice. but on the other hand.

if you do this with your other friends, why are you SO UNCOMFORTABLE with me being vulnerable? why are you SO INCAPABLE of LISTENING to me and understanding what im saying and where im coming from? and offering ANY support?

and like fuck that, man, ive literally MODELED for you like 'waht do you need/what would you like from me?' type shit so just ASK ME

and then to now be trying to set up a zoom hangout session and for her to keep putting it off and saying shes busy and she cant and blah blah blah

im tired. im tired of being taken for granted. of not being a priority. of not mattering.

of also--not being privy to anyones lives! to do so, i have to PULL TEETH to get answers/replies from them, or i have to find out abt it second or third hand in a group hangout session.

im tired of being the one to reach out. to check in. to try and have convos. to ask for support. to set up hang out times and games. of being the only one doing like WORK for this dnd campaign. of having to manage all this shit.

im tired of not mattering. of being so low on the list of priorities.

im tired of trying a million things to try and fix myself and my behavior--both in unhealthy and supposedly really healthy ways.

and still running up against the same shit. idk what to do anymore. and im tired. im tired of trying. of putting myself out there. i dont want to. im tired and im scared and i have every fucking right to be.

and i dont want ppl to tell me but i HAVE to if i dont want to be lonely anymore.

ive tried all your fucking suggestions and nothing seems to work longterm.

the only times i ever hate myself? it's not when im alone w myself. i can be alone w myself. i can admit my good and my bad. i can recognize my insecurities.

but when i hate myself? its when im a direct inconvenience and annoyance to ppl who say they care abt me. its when i feel or observe that i am making the lives of these ppl i care abt, harder and worse.

i dont need to work on self love or self compassion. ive done that. thats not the problem.

i am traumatized and people WONT STOP FUCKING RE-TRAUMATIZING ME.

at what point do i just get to throw my hands up and say THIS IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM, NOW. IVE DONE MY WORK. I'LL KEEP DOING MY WORK. BUT FUCKING CHRIST ALIVE WHY CANT YOU ACT LIKE YOU EVEN LIKE ME AT ALL???

i just think it would be impossible for anyone to be me and not come out thinking 'jfc there is something fundamentally wrong w me that everybody can pick up on and HATES, and idk how to find it and fix it despite trying for 30 years'

i make mistakes. i know theyre mistakes. im working on mending mistakes without shame. like im not a perfect and enlgihtened individual, im just working on things.

but i cant work on my own shit and magically live in a world where ppl dont fucking hate me. or use me. or ignore me. or find me deeply annoying.

idk i guess its late and im spiraling and im just tired. im fucking tired. ive been inside and alone and these past like 9, 10 days without being able to properly use my hand, so i couldnt work or do chores or game plan or talk to ppl at lenght like. idk. i guess it made everything worse.

im not even currently sobbing or melting down. im just tired.

and i guarantee my stupid fucking hand is gonna be SO fucked up tomorrow. not even using my pinky to type. but it hurts.

whatever.

[flowgninthgil]

Pinned Post!

Current PfP from Taken form there, made by BeautySnake

All past PfPs can be found in my mess

I'm an openly anarchist person, probably from the same reality as you, and reblogs are gonna show that, but I also like arts and silly things, things that put joy in your life, but also things that allows you to see things from many different angles, all of those things that creativity only can give.

I use any pronouns by the way, literally, I usually take the exemple of cactuses, beats me why.

you know those things that are greatly limited by the fact that it takes time to create, the time you need to get the money that you need to keep on living?

We work to earn the right to work, to earn the right to give ourselves the right to buy oourselves the right to live, to earn the right to die.

Bat - > (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) < - Bat

Anyway, this also serves for me to get some posts easely accessible 'cause I really like them and I like too many things to just search them back in the list, so here they go:

Thanks!

Always seek the root of the problem:

If you have an abusive family, this is a good number of advices to help you until you can safely leave:

Internet:

Artists.

Artistic Consent VS AI, Part 1: Glazing.

Artistic Consent VS AI, Part 2: Nightshade.

Privacy

People should try PiHole, I assure you, your privacy on internet matters.

I mean it, your privacy is important.

"Slow the Fuck Down"

Protexting private information can be hard, sorry

Cool things that internet allows you to do.

HTML is awesome.

Too many imbed for tumblr, switching to not-cool links from here.

Piracy.

Keep the Windows open:

Fuck windows, opt out those useless things

Fuck Google, here's some websites you won't find.

Google Algorythm is fucked and full of spam.

Twitter's Community notes are not Universal Truth.

Trick to get some disk freed up on your computer.

Fuck Spotify and the others.

The Cloud! Off-site SSD.

Please, take care!

Your body and mind matters.

It's OK to not be ready, or saying no.

Lazyness doesn't exists.

Learning how diet actually works is important, pizzas are supposed to be healthy.

Your posture matters, take care of your spine.

Breast Cancer CAN affect you, no matter who you are and what your biology is.

Know how you feel and what it means.

Say "Thank you" instead of "Sorry".

Fuck Depression.

Caring about others requires knowing about them.

Communication is key, in every interraction you can have, even the bad ones.

Look out of intersex people, especially at birth.

What is Ableism and what does people mean by it? (Thinking of things concerning disabled people from an Able point of interest.)

To Disabled Persons in the United States of Central North America, get a Abled Account.

Sex education is important for kids.

Explaining Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Don't keep everything to yourself, it's not good for anyone.

Autistic lack of empathy.

Explaining Borderline Personality Disorder.

Down Syndrome does not keep people from being normal people.

Hey, people in rehabs and mental health facilities are people too.

It ends up making a very interesting point about disabled people.

Creation is an art!

AO3 & tips:

AO3 search filter.

If you don't private them, authors can read your bookmarks on AO3.

Compression Sleeves can help you when drawing.

Training is key! and this is awesomely simple!!!!!

Grey vs Gray!

From stories:

bittersweet, short, fantasy story.

Introducing a character:

Sci-Fy but it's not bad:

Changing your point of view.

Remarkable movie about Trans People!

Pokémon Lore!!!!

To Imagination!

Here's how to make fantasy names:

More fantasy world logic!

The Organic, the Mechanical, and the Holy.

But with reallife origins.

People need glasses, and imaginary people too.

Your work is actually Great.

It's about feminism and how all women are normal, but I think it can get you some useful bases on dressing up people.

Rude Compouds on Reddit.

Cultural mixity create great food!

Awesome person, horrible surroundings.

And History is a tool!

It explains,

Paper on cool alt people

Diversity of Arabic languages.

Exploring Music throughout history:

How bad can I be? I'm just building the economy!

And remember.

Did you know girls were awesome?

People lived here before you.

Bayard Rustin and the Civil Rights.

Former capital of the armenian kingdom:

Company town is not new.

Cool Dutch gay guy which tried his best to help during the occupation

Nazis didn't burnt book randomly, they knew what they were burning.

Fuckers and Nature All Around the World:

Helping people DOES help, don't prevent them needs in fear of scams, differences or such:

A little bit can do a lot for people.

More than anything, Welfare helps people.

I seem to have reached the maximum of links someone can add to a Tumblr Post... Can't even be a linklog on this tumblelog website! Anyway, here's the links and the name I gave them, they just aren't clickable:

Disgust is no reason to shame or be unsupportive. (Kinks and fetish are valid, because far-right is using them to bring you down.)

https://www.tumblr.com/bemusedlybespectacled/740639295563546624

Fuck racists.

https://www.tumblr.com/anarchistmemecollective/745001874298667008/anarchistmemecollective-willowdove

A Philosophy for Queer Labels.

https://www.tumblr.com/brightlotusmoon/736464664779702272/i-did-that-to-a-guy-he-wanted-to-be-a-wolverine

Learn from others around the world (Anarchy)

https://www.tumblr.com/fuck-yeah-anarchy/721841471755567104/zoe-samudzi-on-a-black-feminist-anarchism

Unlearning White Supremacy. (I guess some people need to.)

https://www.tumblr.com/anarchistmemecollective/746430184276836352/whiteness-as-property-pdf

You missed it out, but it's okay, we just have to give it to others to make it up. (about trans people missing out on growing up as a teenager.)

https://www.tumblr.com/idiot-trashpanda/746303006847418368/i-try-so-hard-to-get-over-this-because-i-cant-be

Cool story about how talking about sex is considered bad. (School director filming educational/humanising porn with his wife and publishing it on the internet without telling anyone getting fired for it.)

https://www.tumblr.com/theprofessional-amateur/738092201016492032/i-want-to-see-this-legal-battle-we-cant-do

Economy! (Seatle people burning up medical depts of people.)

https://www.tumblr.com/enkiduofvideogames/727566517643919361/thing-is-the-debt-companies-hate-this-because

Nature is beautiful:

Biology VS. gender norms. (Little informative drawings)

https://www.tumblr.com/obsidian-hollow-archives/733229447184089088

Fishes are not stupid, you know? (actually watched a documentary about it, fishes shows every signs of intelligence you might think of.)

https://www.tumblr.com/evergreenbutch/741135011848273920

Gretta Thumberg's growth. (lost the link :Sadge:)

Deep Sea livings. (Cool and dangerous in strange ways)

https://www.tumblr.com/plaguedocboi/729081806036647936/this-is-the-irukandji-jellyfish-which-has-venom

Science!

https://www.tumblr.com/supreme-leader-stoat/662522956249972736/i-love-the-pitch-drop-experiment-some-guy

TERFs and Nazis:

J.K. Rowling is both.

https://www.tumblr.com/joerojasburke/744953450298769409

You're not Destroying nature. (Big corps are.)

https://www.tumblr.com/anexperimentallife/736626826502356992

What is Blood Quantum? (American way to force amerindians to get erradicated.)

https://www.tumblr.com/anarchistmemecollective/713843341642563584/blood-quantum-was-designed-to-eliminate-native

Pearl Harbour on the Cost of Giving Birth in the USCNA (United States of Central North America)

https://www.tumblr.com/doubleca5t/742160965275172864/explanation-japan-bombs-pearl-harbor-which

Corporations are a Platypus. (Phineas and Pherb is awesome.)

https://www.tumblr.com/prettydumbloverboy/634121884908322816/corporations-are-a-platypus

& more to come

Redesigns of enby, ace, aro, and agender by @the-unicorn-nick, trans flag by @vampk1zzer, and colours from here by @caninophobia.

[murph-the-lurph]

Just FYI, I do not have a degree in any of this, I am not a professional, these are all just my opinions, I am up for friendly discussion, but will not tolerate anything I don't want to (ie not courteous) :)

America is so deeply religious and divided because of historical whiteness and white supremacy

As someone who is white, I feel this deep chasm from a lack of belonging/community (it's called white longing, plenty of other people who are smarter than me have talked about it before)

Before the later periods of immigration (late 19th-early 20th, mid-20th onward), most immigrants were Chinese, Irish, English, and German. We're going to remove anybody arriving on the west coast (ie Chinese immigrants) from the equation for the moment, just focusing on the Irish and Germans. The English are also removed as they are W(white) A(nglo) S(axon) P(rotestant) and not subjected to much, if any discrimination

The Irish were less "white" (for context, the idea of whiteness often fluctuates based on who is immigrating and from where, it's very transitory) than Germans, as WASPy Americans considered them less "anglo." They looked different, likely smelled different (due to diet), and were Catholic. To survive, they assimilated, all of them. Germans and Irish alike.

For "white" people (which exists as a social construct obviously, but the idea of whiteness is transient, Protestant Anglo-Saxons believed they were the only white people before this, it's in quotes to acknowledge that "whiteness" as a definite hard thing is not possible in a historical context over a broad period of time) to maintain a majority, minorities that weren't as different were pushed to assimilate and leave behind their culture (languages/traditions/clothes/food). Hence why some white Americans are shocked to hear that the Irish weren't considered white (in the late 19th and early 20th century), and also why older Italian Americans have strong feelings about Colombus Day being abolished in favor of Indigenous Peoples' Day. But, as immigrants became more and more diverse, more and more minorities were stripped of their ethnic identities (in a meaningful sense, my hometown is very "German" but that's mostly just code for crotchety, racist white people, we don't meaningful practice or engage with our culture) to maintain that majority. This is where white supremacy comes in.

I am German and English (and a little bit of everything else tbh, kind of super mutt of European heritage). I remember hearing about my great-great aunt, and how she didn't speak German at all. It stopped with her parents. Everyone of European ancestry (whose family showed up on the Western side of the pond a while ago) has a story like that.

This is (likely) the root of cultural appropriation. That deep disconnect from a culture and community (which also coincidentally leads to such deep feelings about sports teams, at least I think :) ) breeds a wanting for it, a soul-deep craving. Obviously, it's not okay to appropriate other cultures, this is just an interesting hypothesis (which again, was come up with by people way smarter than moi)

In my opinion, this also causes Americans (and probably other people who have been stripped of their culture due to white supremacy and colonization, but I am just speaking from my experience) to be so deeply religious. The Catholic church or LDS gives people a sense of belonging; they are part of something bigger than themselves and are surrounded by people like them. Humans are social animals (google the very old cave grave of a baby or the relative longevity of equally prehistoric people with physical disabilities, found to be provided for and supported to ripe "old" age) and it makes sense that they need other people. America is so deeply religious because its people were stripped of their culture by the shoring up of historical whiteness (and the ensuing white supremacy).

If you are a white American feeling that hole, trying to fill it with sports teams and fictional vampire/werewolf rivalries, try instead connecting to your roots. My mother and sister (having learned German and the former having lived there) have found peace in it.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

[pinkiefemme]

your ideology is disgusting and licking the boots of a fatphobic system that doesn't give a single shit about you won’t save you from anything or reward you. you shouldn’t call yourself a femme when you know nothing about subverting expectations of femininity. if you havent learned the difference between having your own internalized body issues and projecting it onto other people because you’re so insecure that you think everyone else has to live by your idiotic rules or ideas then you should really delete your tumblr and not talk to another human until you do. the reason so many fat femmes are on tumblr is because they fucking want to! and you need to understand that fat femmes aren’t fucking catering to your poor pitiful i need skinny people around me all the time or i’m gonna throw a fit bitchy self. keep fat people out of your discussions because you’re so self centered that all you can do is project your own problems on others. and this is from a skinny person with an ed btw! so sincerely, know that no one in the butch femme community actually thinks you have any credibility or will agree w you but other shitheads who are also going to be so self-centered and wrapped up in their own insecurities that they'll never love or care about you. your attitude that none of your opinions sre that big a deal too is so shit because if you think that anything you say matters to any other butch or femme then your shitty opinions affect us too. you can play your little short, careless responses on your blog but know none of your presence matters if you don’t care about your shitty fatphobic opinions too.

p.s. "fat ppl aren’t a protected class so i’m not a bigot" hey dumbass if you’re gonna judge things by the fucking legal system's definition of a protected class then you think trans ppl ten years ago deserved to be told to die and commit suicide because bigotry against us didnt exist yet? what about disabled people before the fucking 90s asshole, do you think no one could be bigoted against us then? is that how hollow and meaningless your morals are? (don’t answer, i already know they are) as a trans disabled butch, i really hope you delete because your presence DOES matter and it has made everyone's experience demonstrably worse here.

I’m not deleting, the fact that a few of my posts have had such an impact on y’all that you all feel genuinely hurt makes me wanna sound like one of those right wingers always talking about how sensitive this generation is 😭😭 when I literally never even said anything that bad/hurtful, trust me it could have been sooo much worse. At this point your responses are genuinely funny 2 me and it makes your insecurities glaringly obvious

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

I misread your post, actually, I'm stupid, pretend I don't exist-

Growing up neurodivergent is inherently traumatic in our current society, as it's not made for us. Its not necessarily the neurodivergence that causes a personality disorder, but the trauma from constantly facing ableism and ridicule from neurotypical people. Correlation ≠ Causation

hgfdghg no you're right tho!! i was using 'neurodivergent' in the broadest sense possible to include personality disorders, mental illnesses, developmental disabilities, etc. but if we're talking about neurodivergence in the sense of autism/adhd/related disorders then i totally agree that whilst being neurodivergent defininetly doesnt equal having a personality disorder, the trauma from growing up in a world not accomodated to your neurodivergence could definitely cause one to develop.

the point i was specifically making is that there's this common narrative online, even within PD spaces, that everyone who has a personality disorder suffered some kind of childhood trauma and to put it lightly, that really rustles my fuckin jimmies. it's widely understood by current medical science that most forms of neurodivergence, including personality disorders, are genetic/hereditary to a degree, and whilst not a lot of reasearch has been done on people w/ personality disorders bc society fucking hates us, some estimates suggest that between 10%-20% of people with BPD (to give one example) did not experience any kind of childhood trauma.

this isnt me saying that childhood trauma CANT be a direct cause of a personality disorder, it most certainly can, i'm just fed up with it being treated as if it's the ONLY cause.

along with childhood trauma and genetic predisposition/inheritance, other proposed causes of personality disorders include neurological differences, inadequate socialization in childhood (which can be related to but is not inherently due to abuse/neglect), being raised by or around someone with a PD (again, not inherently abusive/neglectful/traumatic), or even miscategorization of sets of behaviours that we call personality disorders that may potentially actually be developmental disorders/disabilities. 

TL;DR the 'all people with personality disorders are victims' narrative is barely any better than the 'all people with personality disorders are abusers' narrative, we are not a monolith