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#everyone is skeeved out
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Halloween prompts no 29
This one might hurt you btw
Project Bird was an attempt to create a weapon by generically engineering a child with the DNA of all three Robins in hopes he would have the best qualities of each of them.
Unfortunately the only subject they were able to produce was physically unstable due to the over-abundance of DNA and repeated tampering of his genetic code. The project was deemed a failure and all information and proof of it was to be terminated, including the child.
One guard offered to put the kid down himself but actually helped the kid fake his death. However once they were alone and outside for the first time in the childs life the kid bolted.
He lived on the streets for a few weeks, acting as the bane of candy stores and burger shops until someone nearly caught him and he fled the city. He snuck onto a greyhound bus by holding on the the end of a woman's coat while she was boarding, making the bus driver think he was hers.
Next thing he knew he was in a new city and he started all over again. This process repeated for a few months until he became interested in some weirdos in colorful outfits yelling about ghosts. He would have ignored them if not for the shiny weapons they were carrying about. Plus they seamed powerful...so of course he needed to steal them! That way he'd be able to protect himself better!
Long story short there was a portal and he left that place with the weapons, the disassembled parts to aforementioned portal, and with cool new superpowers. Yeah, he lost part of his life(?) but in his mind it was so worth it. He sets the portal up in Gotham because that place is strange enough that if something ghostly happened no one would bat an eye right? Plus his dads were here and he really wanted to meet them, even if they didn't know he was thier son.
Christmas eventually came but he wasn't cold. Not since he got used to his ice powers. He thought for a while there that he was going to go full Elsa but no, he just needed to let it out, not let it go. His own little batcave became nice and cozy. Just him. No crazy scientists, no cruel guards to mock and flick cigarette butts at him, no tubes or wires. Just the cold darkness he had always associated with safety.
Thats why the lights bothered him so much. In the labs, red and orange lights meant they were prepping the experiment rooms and that meant he was going to be in a lot of pain soon. It was no wonder he hated "Christmas lights". He also couldn't stand the smell of the pine trees people were dragging in, it reminded him of the cleaning agent they used on his cage and how it burned his skin if he touched it when it before it dried.
As much as he loved the safely of his newly dubbed "birdcage" he needed to go out and hunt for food. He Skulked through alleyways and picked pockets like a pro, the powers were so useful, even at the cost of him having to eat more. He made sure to memorize the patrol patterns of the bats and birds, which was why he was so surprised when Red Hood jumped down to him in the rich side of town while he was looking through the small army of wallets.
"I'm assuming those aren't yours."
The former experiment hissed at him, like actually hissed as he covered the goods with his body like an animal, "They are now! Go away!"
There was an embarrassingly short scuffle in which the kid lost. He didn't have the greatest control of his powers not that he would let Hood see him use them anyway, but he made sure to put dents in the mans leather jacket with his little teeth so he didn't win completely unscathed. Red Hood just seemed amused by this though and carried the kid curled up under his arm like a sack of potatoes.
Phantom (the name he chose for himself) really hoped they weren't heading for the police station. He kinda guessed those guys who made him never looked for him, but he couldn't help but to be paranoid. To avoid being taken to jail, and possibly killed, he asked the question that had been burning a hole in his head the past few weeks, "Were you a Robin?"
The way the man stiffened but didn't answer, but fortunately it became his means to escape.
Once he was back at the birdcage he began to review all his facts, he was 75% sure Nightwing was a one of his dads, 100% sure Red Robin was one and about 60% sure with Red Hood. He liked to analyze things, it calmed him down and helped him think he was more in control than he actually was. They never told him anything when he was in the labs. He loved learning new things and making friends and memories. His thought always circled back to his dads. Were they like him? Did they like learning and analyzing and talking to people? Would they want him if they knew about him?
Would they take him to a museum or teach him how to use a cell phone? Would he have to be a Robin? He didn't want to. It sounded scary and they had to fight a lot. He never admitted it out loud but he felt ashamed to be so afraid of combat seeing as that was his main purpose in life. Plus there was a new Robin who was very good at his job. Would he have to fight the new guy like a gang initiation? He hoped not, that sword reminded him too much of the scalpels. Never again.
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.
.
His opinion changed a few months later. His body, the human half, was beginning to "degrade" whatever that meant. The clock ghost who gave him cookies didn't tell him what that really meant. Only that Phantom was dying. Phantom didn't want to die, he had only just begun to live! It hurt everywhere and it just wouldn't stop.
He made the decision to go to his dads. All he could tell them was that it hurt. It hurt so much he was crying. He never cried. Everything after that was spotty, like he was falling asleep and waking up over and over again but without ever leaving his dreams.
When he woke up again it was Spring and it didn't hurt anymore, but new challenges came soon after. His dads knew about him now and somehow knew about Project Bird too. None of them seemed happy, only sad and angry.
Were they angry he existed? Sad they had to deal with him? That must be it. Everytime he talks about the labs they look angry and he bolts off to hide under or behind something. Usually furniture.
Everytime he flinches from raised voices or sharp objects they look sad. Many times the Robin, Damian, would raise his katana almost as if suggesting something but Nightwing, Dick, would tell him no. Red Hood would argue about how they should "avenge thier son" or something. But Phantom was still alive? What was there to avenge?
One night his Grandpa was reading the newspaper while his Great Grandpa did something in the kitchen. Phantom sat there on the sofa staring at his reflection in the TV screen. He knew how to turn it on and stuff but he didn't understand how he was supposed to use it. Was he just supposed to...watch? And listen? Without interacting at all?
He only vaguely listened to two of his dads from where they were sitting in the nearby chairs bickering about what his name should be. He thought Phantom was a perfectly fine name for both his ghost and human halfs but apparently he was wrong.
His final dad, Tim came up behind him with a glass of water and asked, "What are you doing?"
Danny looked up from his own reflection towards his last dads and something clicked, "Oh, I have your eyes."
An wierd look his didn't understand crossed his fathers face and the sound of shattering glass sent him bolting up the stairs to safety. He hid under a guest rooms bed clutching some of the star shaped knives he had stolen from his uncle, because if Damian used them then they must be good.
Phantom never blamed Tim for his accidents. He was taking it way better than Dick, who was trying to be a brother instead of a father and tried to shove the father role onto Grandpa.
Jayson was the best of the three and was always willing to spend time with him. He was even teaching him how to read! He got him these cool light up shoes! He had never had shoes before! Dad even taught him how to color and was showing him how to aim a nerf gun and throw footballs and all sorts of stuff.
Tim was close behind showing him how to organize his thoughts and giving him life advise and answering all his questions. He even gave Phantom an old Wayne tech tablet of his to play on so long as he didn't mess with any of the settings.
Dick never liked being called Dad, or more specifically "one of" his dads. He overheard him talking on the phone with someone and appearently it wasn't that Phantom was his clone son that bothered him, it was the fact that he was a baby made between him and his brothers and it freaked him out. He knew he wasn't being fair and mentioned someone named Connor and how disappointed he would be if he knew.
Phantom just wishes he knew what to do to make everything better. But what can a six year old reasonably do in this situation?
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batsight · 1 month
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Star Flower, loner, Medic of SkyClan
She/Her, cis bisexual
Mother: Turnip
Father: One Eye
Adoptive Father: Skystar
Siblings: Unnamed, all deceased.
Design notes:
-She is styled after the Pokemon, Ogerpon
-The plants are a physical part of her body. They grow out of her.
-She is the physical embodiment of The Blazing Star.
Story notes: [Abuse CW]
-She was born as a normal kitten to a traveling band of rogues who loved to trade and spread their music. Unfortunately, this band died out to a plague, one that nearly took her own life. Desperate to save his family, her father Carrot traveled to a set of tunnels in Sanctuary Lake rumored to house a reality-bending god. He asked the god for a cure, and the god asked for his eye in return. They made the exchange, and he retrieved a glowing, golden, five pointed flower. However, he was too late to save most of his family, so the entire cure went to his surviving kit. He wasn't expecting her to survive the night given her fragile state and the dubiousness of the exchange...
-But the next morning, she was perfectly fine- great, even. If a little... odd... were those buds growing on her paws...?
-It only got stranger from there. When Carrot ended up finding more cats suffering from the plague, just a few calming purrs from his kit seemed to have them ripe and ready to go the next morning. Carrot understood then what had happened- his kit had become the cure herself. And cats were starting to look towards them more, started begging for her healing, for anything. And Carrot had lost everything... wasn't it time to start winning stuff back?
-And so, the pair became One Eye and Star Flower, for recognition's sake. The two formed their own small group, filled with cats Star Flower had healed. Star Flower loved to spread her magic where she went, to save cats from the brink of death and be showered with their love and appreciation. They felt like they owed a great debt to her, and she enjoyed that.
-She was very close with her father, even if their relationship could be strained. One Eye loved her, but to an extent, he also used her. He grew arrogant in his success, believing he had become the accomplice to a god, and began to hold that over cats who fell sick. He grew desperate for control and Star Flower was his key to that.
-One day, however, her father's group encountered the early clans. They were just beginning to settle down, work out their new rules, and declare borders. But what caught the group's attention was the near murder of a young kittypet, almost mauled to death by proto-SkyClan's leader, Skystar. Unable to heal wounds with her magic, Star Flower managed to bring the cat to a twoleg, who took her away.
-Appalled by the cruelty, Star Flower took a great interest in Skystar's group, and witnessed several of his other crimes against his cats and the other groups. As did One Eye, who, seeing the early signs of a plague, had an idea to put this cat and the other leaders in their place.
-One Eye and Star Flower joined the group, with One Eye acting as a curious loner, flattering Skystar with praise. Skystar enjoyed his company, and so One Eye grew in the rank rather quickly. He also took a great interest in Star Flower and her abilities. After murdering Tom, who insulted the cats and attempted to attack them, One Eye took the chance to take control over the group, overpowering Skystar and using Star Flower's power to keep the remaining cats in line- everything is going to be okay, you'll get your cure... if you stay in line and do as One Eye says.
-This went on for a moon, of Star Flower holding her magic over the heads of her clients to keep their loyalty towards One Eye. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel pride at it all at helping her father.
-Ultimately, One Eye was overthrown and killed when Skystar came back with reinforcements from the other clans. The rest of the rogues they'd accumulated ran off, and suddenly, Star Flower was alone. She'd never been without her father, and running would mean abandoning his grave, which she didn't want. But... this place had been a home to her for some time now, and she needed a place to stay. SkyClan had taken all of the available territory in the area, anyways, and she was in no shape to brave the other territories or twolegplace. So she offered her power to SkyClan as a peace offering and asked for shelter in return.
-Skystar was still sore from the event, but he couldn't deny that having Star Flower as an asset would be beneficial to him in the long run. And around this point, his son Thunderstar had disowned him and split off ThunderClan from SkyClan. He felt that he was losing allies, losing family, and he latched on to desperate Star Flower very quickly- as a cat who would never disobey him.
-Skystar takes Star Flower under his wing as his new child, her new ward, instating her as a medic. And because she is loyal to a fault, she won't disobey a new leader so similar to her father. And so, he pushes her to do humiliating things in front of the camp, ranging from general chores like tick baths, to forcing her to run laps around camp with an injury if she took too long to work her magic. He would take out his frustration from gatherings on her and berate her over the most menial things. He would make her withhold her power to help anyone in the clan who had displeased him. And if Star Flower ever tried to stick up for herself, all he had to do was remind her of what she did, how she helped torment his cats by holding a cure over their heads to help out her father.
-This went on for years, Star Flower becoming more and more despondent. One night, there was a particularly stressful gathering, in which Skystar got into a territorial dispute with Thunderstar over a pack of dogs ravaging the territories. He lost the dispute, came home, and immediately took it out on Star Flower, shouting at and attacking the molly for "taking too much food she didn't deserve". And something in Star Flower finally snapped, and for the first time, she didn't save a life- she took one. And another. And another. As many as what remained in Skystar's soul. She was discovered taking his very last life in his nest, while she was wondering if she could pin it on the dogs. She escaped the camp, and wandered the territory for the rest of her life.
-Unfortunately, while she finally won against Skystar in the moment, it was history who decided the victor. Sparrowstar declared that they couldn't let a tragedy like this happen ever again, and doubled down on banishing rogues. Every rogue-born cat was looked at with suspicion from then on, and as the decades began to pass, Star Flower's story became twisted and bent. As the story is told, a rogue had infiltrated SkyClan's camp asking for help, but had manipulated and charmed the leader with her prowess and rose in the ranks just high enough to take him out and attempt to claim his spot. Her story was used as a cautionary tale against rogues, warning cats against those who would infiltrate the camp and rot it from the inside. Eventually, even her true name was lost to time...
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Rotten Flower, Warrior of The Dark Forest
Skystar didn't hesitate to throw her in the depth of the Dark Forest when she died. She wears her mask constantly, trying to keep away from the sickness of the muck. She's embraced the false myth made about her, claiming to have killed a founder for power and prestige. But in reality, it's been so long that she's forgotten her family, her power, her name. She barely even remembers Skystar himself. Though she's admired in the Dark Forest for her achievements, she doesn't hang around anyone, and acts hostile to those who approach her.
Perhaps someone can help her remember who she truly is...?
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maskednihilism · 3 months
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ooc. I need to say Sampo wouldn't be attracted to any of the Nameless crew. Or at least the main three, March, Dan Heng and Trailblazer (either gender).
He does seem to be aware in some capacity of Dan Heng's true nature but I feel he sees them as helpless children. Like how 25+ yr olds see 18 yr olds.
Sure they're adults but they're still younger.
A flirty comment may be said but its just to rile children who don't know about the adult world. Not actual attaction.
Welt and Himeko aren't spared as they're actually more adult (physically and emotionally).
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anachrennism · 9 months
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am I missing something re: "bi lesbians" apparently being super problematic or whatever? can someone bring me up to speed on that?
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wormieapple · 1 month
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i very, very genuinely do not understand y people h8 the actor men so much??? or by association the characters the actor men play???? does this enhance your enjoyment of the show, is that why??? does dividing yourself from others to fight them on relatively menial things bring more dopamine to people and that’s why they get up in arms abt j2 and hellers and all these other things that i just genuinely cannot see a meaningful goal to????
it is inch resting
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inkskinned · 9 months
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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discodeerdiary · 1 year
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I think part of why I'm so skeeved out by the way people on here treat various words as inherently bad or inherently good is that I paid close attention when everyone was being like here's how to phrase your arguments to appeal to liberals here's how to phrase them to appeal to conservatives and like ultimately I gave up on the idea of trying to change conservatives' minds with rhetoric but along the way I became painfully aware of how easy it is to sell leftist progressive people on deeply reactionary ideas provided you phrase it in vocabulary they consider trustworthy
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thedisablednaturalist · 7 months
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If you are someone who hates bugs and kills them on sight (except for those that can actually cause considerable harm) please..just..take a second...think before you act. Does that bug need to die? Are you killing it just to feel better?
Yes, phobias are real. I have arachnophobia. And it's taken a long time for me to get to the point I'm at now where i can hold jumping spiders and be sort of near wolf spiders. I still struggle but to be in a field where you're outside a lot, you have to get comfortable with spiders sometimes crawling on you.
The first step is respect. You don't have to like or enjoy bugs. But you need to respect what their role is in the environment. To make it easier, think of animals you DO like and learn about their relationship with bugs. You really like birds? Well guess what a ton of birds eat. Even birds that don't directly eat bugs may eat things that do (ya know the whole food web thing). Bugs also may positively impact their environment through nutrient cycling, eating other, more destructive bugs, eating harmful molds, bacteria, or fungi, pollination, etc.
I used to be skeeved out by a lot of bugs, particularly bug larvae. Guess what I'm studying right now? Invertebrates are so interesting once you get past the initial discomfort.
Many of us believe invertebrates = gross/scary. This needs to stop. Invertebrates are going extinct so fast and because everyone hates them we don't have enough research to even know how many we are losing. Pesticides/herbicides have completely wiped out a significant portion of the invertebrate population, and that's along with other things like pollution, ocean acidification, invasive species, etc.
We are losing spiders. We are losing centipedes. We are losing tiny flies. We are losing worms and beetles and bees and wasps. We are losing butterflies and fireflies. Some invertebrate species only exist in one small pond or cave. Some have never actually been seen and some have only been seen once. And its affecting all of us. Fish are disappearing from streams because there's nothing to eat. Amphibians are disappearing because there's nothing to eat (and bc of chytrid fungus). Bats are disappearing because there's nothing to eat (and bc of white nose syndrome). Pangolins, axolotls, red pandas, armadillos, woodpeckers, monkeys, salamanders, these all have diets that are either partially or only fulfilled by bugs.
I go outside in the summer, and don't even have to use bug spray anymore. I remember getting chased by swarms of nats and mosquitos. Nights glittering with hundreds of fireflies. Now I only worry about mosquitos in the spring by the water. Even then I have maybe 5 bites at most, when before I used to be covered in bites from being outside. Before I was born, windshields used to be COVERED in bugs when you went down the highway.
Please, you don't have to like them, but please make an effort to change your initial reaction. They are earthlings just like us. They don't deserve to die because they aren't cute. We need more funding and research. They are getting wiped out and people think that's a fucking good thing. Stop using bug zappers. Try using bug repellent that doesn't have DEET in it (only use it if absolutely necessary), take the bug out in a cup and piece of paper, use methods other than pesticides to get pests out of your garden. Yes sometimes you need to kill a tick or get the termites or ants out of your house. Sometimes a venomous spider gets in your house and it's not safe to handle them. Sometimes they are killing your plants and you need to get rid of them. But a harmless millipede who's one defense is to literally curl into a little spiral and is completely harmless? Does it really have to die?
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voyaging-too · 1 year
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John killed the Earth and turned its soul into a Barbie doll. John resurrected his friends, but he knew that if he brought them back as their full selves, they might challenge him, they might not forgive him. So he took their memories, he took their names, and he took their ability to challenge him, and also to meaningfully forgive him. He spent ten thousand years playing house with the people he made from his old friends, he spent ten thousand years playing dolls. John is evil, but he’s not just evil, he’s a very specific kind of evil, the evil that turns people into dolls, the evil that renames and remakes and overwrites. John loves to play with names, he renamed himself, he renamed all his Lyctors and their cavaliers, he renamed Gideon, and he keeps renaming Alecto, A.L., Annabel Lee, Annie Laurie.
This terrible, playful renaming and re-rerenaming of someone you betrayed, it felt familiar. Renaming someone to justify warping their story, warping their story to justify hurting them, and all of it with a rueful little smile. Of course it felt familiar. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita. Nabokov knew what he was doing, and so does Tamsyn Muir. For a long time, she had been trying out different ways to approach the topic, to approach the terrible guy who eventually became John. Back in her fandom days, she wrote a fic about grooming that directly referenced Lolita. Later she wrote “The Magician’s Apprentice,” another story about an adult, a seemingly kind, funny and sympathetic adult very gradually transforming a child into something she would not have chosen to become.
This is what John (or God, or Teacher, or the Emperor) does. He’s not a literal sexual predator, he’s an omniscient necromantic emperor, but the way he operates, the way he behaves and then rationalises his behaviour is meant to make you think of the former, and be appropriately skeeved the fuck out. He acts like he’s the only real person in the world, he turns everyone else into dolls, he renames them and remakes them and he kills them if they show signs of disobedient sentience, then he makes sad sighs about how very lonely he is.
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soft-girl-musings · 6 months
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Perks of Being a Wallflower
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Jake Lockley x plus size fem!Reader
cross-posted to ao3
tags: rated T for thirsty jake, author does not dance but saw it on the tv once (i'm mostly kidding), mustachioed jake jumpscare (tagging for the haters), no use of Y/N
wc: 1.9k
fic summary: For Jake, a night on the town means sticking to the background, listening for signs of trouble. That all changes when he sees you at the dance hall.
A/N: still on the jake train and I am making it everyone's problem. just wanted to preface by saying, as a curvy girlie, i recognize that plus size folk are not a monolith. so everything in this fic is based on my own experience, etc. enjoy!
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Jake likes to keep his intel hotspots in rotation. 
Mondays and Wednesdays he'll head to the diner after a day in the cab, refueling and checking in with his network.
Tuesdays and Thursdays he'll hit the bars. Weekends are mostly for driving.
But Fridays? Fridays are for dancing.
Jake's guilty pleasure is scoping out the dance hall. The clubs have their appeal, but there's something timeless about the hole in the wall he’d discovered a while back. Nothing special, just a cozy ballroom with a bar, tables lifted on a platform framing ¾ of the room and turning the dance floor into an inverse stage.
Tonight he nurses a beer in the corner, listening to a couple of seedy characters describe some suspicious activity at a warehouse he'd been tailing. But he hasn't caught much of their conversation. Truth be told, he's a bit distracted tonight.
Because of you.
He'd seen you come in with four other people, two couples by the look of it. He'd been immediately taken by you: while some patrons came to dance in jeans and t-shirts, you'd dressed to impress. He'd shamelessly raked his eyes over your form, generous curves hugged by the bodice of your dress that trailed down over your ample hips. You walked with a timid sway, the movement inevitable even as you drew your arms about yourself, settling into your seat with care at a table clear across the room from him.
As much as he's tried to fight it, his attention always drifts back to you: poised and pretty, eyes scanning the room as one couple, then another leaves you for the Latin-dance-of-the-week group lesson hosted like clockwork every Friday. The instructor drones on, but Jake is zeroed in on you: all softness and warmth, criminally tucked away from the rest of the fun.
The warehouse can wait.
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You don’t consider yourself the kind of girl someone crosses the room for.
That’s probably why you don’t notice the determined stranger making his way across the crowded dance floor, eyes trained on you as he adjusts his cap with a smirk.
You’re taking another sip of your overpriced cocktail when you hear an unfamiliar voice below you.
“Not a fan of the rumba?”
You finally register the man standing by the corner of your table. He’s handsome, you have to admit, his dark features highlighting kind brown eyes, creased from his almost too-eager smile. When you realize he’s talking to you, your words are still slow to come out.
But he doesn’t miss a beat. “It’s the mustache, isn’t it?” He grins sheepishly, dragging a palm across his lower face. “Knew it’d skeeve some people out, but I thought I’d give it a go.”
“No,” you say too quickly for your own liking, “It’s, ah– nice. Suits you.”
You’re met with a cheeky grin as he steps closer, eyes half-lidded as he leans in. “I’m Jake. Nice to meet a friendly face.”
You eye him warily, wondering what his angle could be. A quick glance around the room confirms there’s only so many unattached women surrounding the dance floor. You sigh internally. The game is always the same: keep them entertained until the girls they really want to talk to come back from the bar, or the bathroom, or stray just far enough from the guys they arrived with.
Might as well play along. 
Settling back into your seat, you tell him your name. His grin widens as he echoes it with something bordering reverence, and you bite your cheek to keep from smiling too wide.
Jake props one elbow on the table, looking up at you. Seems like he’s not going anywhere for a while.
“I gotta know– you not a fan of the rumba?”  He asks again, staring up at you dreamily. You don't catch it, your eyes flitting between him and the dance floor. The lesson is over, and couples spread out to dance independently.
“Hm? Oh, um– it’s alright,” you say with a shrug, arms wrapping around your middle again. “Just not a dancing night for me.” 
Truth be told, it’s been ages since anyone’s invited you to dance. You’ve contented yourself with watching, although something deep inside aches for someone to ask you to–
"Dance with me."
You raise an eyebrow, struck by his bluntness. "I'm sorry?"
He leans in, both arms now resting on the table. "Dance with me, doll." His grin widens as he drinks you in. Your cheeks heat under his gaze, and you almost believe the admiration behind his eyes.
You press your lips together and look back to the crowd. "No thanks."
"I promise I don't bite," he teases, baring his teeth for effect. The slight gap in his smile catches your eye and you look away again. He's definitely a charmer.
"I…" you trail off, searching for an excuse but find you're hesitant to give it. 
Your self-sabotaging streak wins out. "Sorry, I have to keep the table for my friends." You nod toward the couples you came with, each person settled in the arms of their partner as they stumble through the rumba on their own. Your frown deepens; it does look fun.
Jake hums and props his head on one hand. "Don't tell me you only tagged along to watch their purses? Not the best of friends," he adds, critique mixed with sympathy.
You almost tell him that this wasn't the plan, you were meant to have a date tonight. A date who suddenly couldn't make it once your friend had caved and sent him a picture of you– a snapshot you'd both hoped wouldn't "fatfish" but was flattering enough to entice him to commit. Clearly he didn't.
You consider telling him everything, so lost in thought you don't realize he's been saying your name. He calls you once more, and you snap back to the present, tearing your eyes away from the dance floor.
"Sorry, what was that?"
As you speak, Jake walks around the table until he's closer to your side. He holds out his hand.
"C'mon, one dance." He asks again, angling his head to catch your eye. "Please?"
The last of your resolve absolutely crumbles at the way his voice softens with every word. As if you have something he wants. As if you could reject him and make it sting. 
Oh, what the hell.
"...Alright. One dance." 
You didn't think he could smile any wider, but he does– tossing his cap onto the table and trailing a hand through his thick black curls, he's all crow's feet and smile lines as you accept his hand.
Jake weaves between dancing pairs with you in tow, until you reach the middle of the floor. Your eyes dart around at the couples surrounding you, but a gentle touch under your chin brings your attention back to him.
"Just focus on me, yeah?" His voice is still soft, keeping you grounded in the eye of the busy dance floor. You nod, letting out a shaky breath.
"Right, so–" Jake clasps your right hand and raises it to chin level. He moves your left hand to cradle his shoulder, and places his right hand on your shoulder blade. It takes everything in him not to squeeze the flesh under his palm; you're just as warm and soft as he'd thought you'd be.
He talks you through the basics, how to time your steps and the flow of each movement. Every so often, he’ll lift your chin again, since you keep looking at your feet to keep up.
You catch on quicker than you’d expected. Even though your cheeks are blazing, you feel yourself loosen up– your body relaxing, your hips swaying a bit more freely. 
Jake can tell: he’s never short of praise and encouragement, and has to remember his own advice to stop himself from watching your hips the whole time.
"Alright," he warns, "here's something a little tricky-"
As soon as you feel his hand flex, you know what to do. You step out and deftly spin under his arm, hips swaying with a cheeky flourish for effect.
Jake barks a laugh of surprise, arms settling back into place as you complete the step.
You let yourself crack a smile. “You third wheel enough of these dance lessons, you’re bound to pick some things up.”
“No kidding,” he affirms, resuming an easy rhythm for you both. You’d think he was born with that grin on his face, the way it hasn’t faltered since he introduced himself.
One song bleeds into another, but neither of you notice. Instead, you draw closer together, your frame more relaxed and your heart racing. With every beat, you fight back the budding intoxication of the moment. Because this can't be real; this can't be something that lasts. No matter how many praises he showers, winks he offers, or lingering brushes against your hips, shoulders, seemingly anywhere he can touch you, you know you won't be hearing from Jake once you leave this dance floor. That's how this always goes down.
The song ends and you both slow to a stop. Slightly breathless, your hands trail up to Jake’s shoulders, thumbs tracing the fabric there as you work up the courage to ask one last question.
"So… is this the part where you go back to your friends and tally up who got the big girl to believe you were interested?"
Jake's brows knit together, his hands pressed to your shoulder blades to hold you steady. "I don't-"
"Oh please, you don't have to pretend. I survived high school, I can take it." You smirk, worrying your lip to keep your disappointment at bay. This was a nice fantasy, but you know how this ends.
The band starts to play a slower tune, and his eyes meet yours. In a flash of flexed arms and footwork, you’re suddenly looking up at him, body tilted back as he dips you. A cheeky grin is plastered on his flushed features.
"Doll, you misunderstand." He draws you back up, bringing you cheek to cheek as the stubble of his warm face scratches your skin. He continues, voice low and close to your ear:
"We're dancin' because it'd be criminal to leave such a pretty wallflower unplucked all night." He starts to sway in time to the music, still holding you. An invitation to stay, to do this all again.
You lean back; his rapt attention is trained on you like before, the warmth in his brown eyes seeping into your cheeks. Your face blossoms into the widest smile, your soft angles catching the light and making you look downright radiant. 
"That's… so corny." And you laugh, a rich, uninhibited sound pouring from your lips until tears nearly spill down your cheeks. 
Jake takes it all in– the vision that you are. His hand trails down to the softness at the small of your back. The way you quake from laughter sends a thrill up his spine, and he chuckles in turn. If he wasn’t holding you, he swears he’d be a little weak in the knees.
You rest your forehead against his shoulder as you calm down. “What’s one more dance?” You breathe, letting yourself move in time with the music.
Jake bites his lip and nods, taking your hand again. “Thought you’d never ask, doll.”
With a flick of the wrist he spins you out, eliciting another laugh from you as he pulls you back in.
The warehouse can definitely wait: his night's going to be spent drawing that sweet sound from your lips as long as you'll let him.
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A/N: when I say "brainrot," i mean i couldn't sleep until i set this gd thing to publish (don't ask me what time)
huge shoutout to @hon3yboy @chrissymodi-frost and @mrsnadeem for letting me ramble in your DMs about dancer!Jake, all my love my darlings <3
addtl tag list: @lunar-ghoulie @shadystarlightgentlemen @casa-boiardi
tysm for reading!
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actual-changeling · 2 months
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ohhh yanno...I think sometimes why I get so uncomfortable with meta and theories with GO (specifically in defense of Aziraphale) is that it really starts to resemble pro Christianity rhetoric...and I totally believe that everyone should feel free to believe/not believe in any sort of religion they choose...but it starts to get real uncomfy real fast when I'm reminded of my own christian family and their condemnations of me and the experiences I went through growing up christian and then realizing I didn't believe in any of it...
and for some people maybe that IS why they so staunchly defend Aziraphale, but for me, it's why his actions made me so mad, and why the firm "aziraphale defenders no matter what" lowkey skeeve me out...like that post you said about knowing Aziraphale in real life...yeahhhh no I'd never be friends with him, and maybe that does make me too biased for Crowley, bc I'm imagining myself in his position, bc I HAVE BEEN in that position, but idk I just can't find it in me to defend angel characters or super pro christian type thinking ones when too much of irl has been negatively affected by those types of people. and yeah fiction is not reality but when the premise of GO is a satirical look on religion idk it's just iffy to be so pro angel/heaven imo (obviously this isn't about those who view it with nuance hahaha)
I know what you mean anon, I definitely feel the same.
Seeing people fall into angel good/demon bad without even noticing is... painful, to say the least. Defending all of Aziraphale's actions because he had "good intentions" or "still has faith" or "was traumatized by heaven" is harmful and unhealthy to say the least, and it 100% looks like pro-Christianity rhetoric at times.
We're supposed to look at Aziraphale and see somehow who yes, has good intentions, but has refused to deal with his trauma and problems and ends up making incredibly bad choices as a result. He is supposed to change, so defending his actions is counter-intuitive to the message Neil and Terry want us to receive.
Aziraphale is that kid who tells you sure, it's fine to no believe in God, but you will go to hell and suffer forever, who tells you everyone just needs to "try harder" and that "poor people have mor opportunities" (I still cannot process that he canonically says and believes that), who tells you that you can be gay, but don't be it in front of the children or any people.
Aziraphale is the guy who refuses to deal with his internalized homophobia and asks his queer friends to go back into the closet because he cannot deal with seeing queer people be happy while he is stuck in self-induced misery.
There are reasons why so many people are uncomfortable with his behaviour and ideologies—and you are supposed to be.
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nerves-nebula · 1 year
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I thought of a scenario.
Leo’s having a shit day. He slept wrong, the Dysphoria is strong today (though he doesn’t know that’s what it is), and he can’t get his intrusive thoughts to shut up.
Mikey is also having a shit day. He couldn’t sleep, his mind running too fast, and he’s on edge. Splinter yelled at him last night for making noise when he got up to get some water, and that only made his insomnia worse. He’s angry and already snapped at Donnie and Raph during breakfast.
During training, Splinter is, well, Splinter. He has them sparring. He pits Leo against Raph and Mikey against Donnie, like he always does. He pays attention to Leo’s fight, doesn’t cast a spare glance to Mikey knocking Donnie flat on his face. Leo eventually wins his own fight. As a reward, Leo and Mikey are told to have a victor’s spar.
Leo is off his game. He doesn’t want to hurt Mikey, he already noticed Mikey’s having a bad day, and he goes to try to end the spar quickly, but Mikey does something unexpected. He dives straight in, forgoing his weapons and slamming his fist directly into Leo’s face. Leo’s so stunned by Mikey getting through his defenses, by Mikey actually trying, by Mikey managing to land a blow, that he opens himself up.
In the end, of course, Leo wins the fight, but not without a couple nasty bruises on his face. He barely hears Splinter telling him off for screwing up that bad and letting Orange of all people get past him. He’s preoccupied with the fact that Mikey doesn’t actually look like he’s done fighting. That Mikey looks like he’s ready to go again, to fight until he physically can’t fight anymore.
And for a weird moment, he’s frightened.
Idk, the idea of someone, especially Mikey, beating/nearly beating Leo in a spar, especially in front of Splinter, seems fascinating to me. Mikey is so full of rage, but he hides it so well in front of everyone, that if he drops that facade and actually acts on his anger, he could probably get an upper hand just out of shock from his opponent.
-Monster Anon
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i agree, that is a fascinating scenario. Leo would def be skeeved out. like, why is Mikey acting like this??
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beesmygod · 4 months
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ohhh my god i just found a conversation i completely forgot about where someone had contacted me to ask for a copy of an out of print homestuck thing i was in because they were like, trying to collect all the comprehensive "canon" stuff NO ONE else they contacted had a copy. bc i bitched endlessly until i got the copies i was owed i actually had a spare one. but the book itself is completely worthless to me personally. i have no positive feelings associated with this book (i know, huge surprise lol). i asked hiveworks what to price it bc the guy told me to name a price
and everyone in hiveworks kept giving me the weirdest fucking advice like "he's just going to auction it on ebay so list it before he can" (?) or that if i didn't charge him enough the fandom would try to take advantage of me. i wound up giving it to the guy for free bc the conversation skeeved me out so bad
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A/N ::: Down bad for this one today. He always kinda skeeved me out when he was a teenager but seeing him all grown up I was like, damn son. Come Netflix and chill with me. This is so much longer than I intended it to be, not sorry? But thank you for reading it! I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read my stuff and reblogging it if you do that, too! It would have been much shorter if I had been able to just sit down and not be called away from it 12.9 times. But it is what it is. Enjoy!!
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*also: art by @/iluvluvnutella // permission for use was posted*
*also also: I purposely used a pic of Makoto as an ADULT. Yeah, I'm well aware the pic in the back is when he was a teenager. NONE of these HC's are about him when he was a teenager.
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C/W ::: MDNI UNDER THE CUT, PLEASE.
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〽️ Is very sweet.
〽️ Takes you out for ice cream (or whatever) once a week on your agreed upon date night.
〽️ Knows your favorite flower and will bring you one whenever he passes by them.
〽️ Likes to be touching you almost all the time when you're walking around town/shopping.
〽️ Isn't possessive or anything like that, but loves you so much that it's become second nature to him at this point to always have some part of him against some part of you.
〽️ Knows your favorite perfume (and your favorite cologne on him - he wears it because he knows how much it drives you crazy).
〽️ Likes the smell of your armpit.
〽️ Known to yank on his dick every opportunity he could.
〽️ Steals your panties (without your permission - but you still know about it and if it were anyone else, it would definitely bother you but it's your bf so whatevs.)
〽️ Has asked to be tied up more than once.
〽️ Suggests wax play quite often (but doesn't know your secret: he's almost convinced you to do it).
〽️ Has no preference whether or not he's on top or you are. Or in front or behind. Just loves to feel good with you.
〽️ Never really thought about anyone in particular while he jerked off (unless you count those women in magazines in itty bitty teeny weeny bikinis) until he met you. And as far as he's concerned, no one before you matters, anyway.
〽️ Likes to kiss you until you're a complete mess.
〽️ Is not above begging for you.
〽️ Wants you to tease him/edge him. (He's so pretty all sweaty and flustered, his skin flushed and bright pink cheeks, heavy, leaky cock.)
〽️ Will run his fingers all over your body and won't stop a second before you're whimpering and whining about how badly you need him to give you more.
〽️ Won't give you more until he's sure you'll cum just as fast as he does.
〽️ Has a pretty cock and knows it. (He's even admired it in all its glory.)
〽️ Is shaven because he likes how it feels and looks.
〽️ L-o-v-e-s sloppy blowjobs. Like, fluids all over the lower half of your face and upper chest.
〽️ Will make out with you after you're done (even if he doesn't cum, he'll still pull you up to kiss you).
〽️ Hopes you'll make out with him after he's done going down on you, too. (Not because he thinks it's "fair", but because he thinks it's hotter than hell.)
〽️ Sleeps nude.
〽️ Wakes up every morning with a raging boner.
〽️ Makes it well worth your while if you stayed over the night before.
〽️ Makes breakfast with organic and free-range animals because it "makes him sad" to think about their last moments on this planet being shitty. (Has been shut up by your counterargument about how they're last moments on this earth are being killed ... for food - how can they possibly NOT be shitty? And then you thank him for a delicious breakfast.)
〽️ Itadakimasu! (But with real food this time!)
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@southside-otaku @viburnt @kazutora-kurokawa @katshimizuu @arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82
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boltedbee · 24 days
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I recently finished Tangled the Series (conveniently around its anniversary no less!) and I have some thoughts.
The animation is so unique and beautiful it feels jarring to look back at screens or gifs of the movie lol. I love the textured, papercraft look of it. Tangled is still one of my favorite Disney movies so now I want to go back and rewatch it.
I started watching because of Varian, thanks to a random Hazbin Hotel page that referenced other characters the voice actors do. Purely by looks, he was one of my "types", so I went digging and here I am.
I was initially irked by Varian being into Cass, largely by him being so gay-coded off the bat, them meeting once and he spends most of an episode being infatuated with her after a hardcore obsession with "Flynn Rider". He joins a science fair not for his love of it/alchemy, but to impress her. Just why? I'm glad it didn't flip his entire personality, at least.
The fact people so frequently ship them creeps me out too, especially when Cass drugs and kidnaps him later. I'm firmly, personally in the "ship what you want" camp, but this one just skeeves me out. It wouldn't be as commonly shipped if the sexes were swapped, I'm sure.
Anyway I love Raps and Eugene's relationship. Very cute, very blessed.
The Brotherhood was so underutilized! I needed more Adira! I wanted to know more about Hector! Quirin being part of them felt like nothing! Edmund was a big dork and I loved him.
King Fred sucks.
I love how showcased Raps' intelligence is. Like she might be emotionally naive but overall she's absolutely brilliant and loving and she never got tiresome to watch. She was already a cool princess but this expansion bolstered her character.
Raps having no love for Gothel but still mourning the loss of her old home was sad.
I love her having an "enemy" she just can't vibe with and it's shown to be perfectly fine. My Little Pony did one similar and these sorts of messages are great. You don't have to be friends with everyone.
Wish we'd seen more Atilla after he got his bakery. What a wholesome guy.
Varian's heart-wrenching "YOU PROMISED" line to Rapunzel murders my soul.
Did not expect Varian's villain arc to end so soon. But I still felt for him the whole time and it made sense it didn't last story-wise. But how long was that poor thing imprisoned for? 😭
Cassandra's villain arc felt mid. Especially after her "am I the bad guy?" line. Like girl yes tf 😭 Her being Gothel's daughter felt obvious too but I read a spoiler so idk. I like Cass a lot, but man.
I was inwardly screaming "LET'S GOOOO" at everyone getting their happy ending. Especially Lance adopting Kiera and Catalina. GOD I was so happy for that, it's probably my favorite thing to happen. Also happy Quirin involves himself with Varian's work, and Varian has a solid career ahead of him.
Varian is baby and I wish we'd gotten his spin-off.
As someone with serious Arcane brainrot, I think this show was just what I needed. It could have been better in several parts but I enjoyed it for what it was and it will definitely stick with me.
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gwyoi · 3 months
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This is so ridiculous to me like ….. imagine being a child and you tell your parent some guy creeps you out and they do this to you. There sound be some conversation on how to turn someone down politely because I think everyone should know how to do that but who cares if the kid says the person creeps them out like they are entitled to feeling that way. If they start a smear campaign in school telling false rumors and saying said person is a creep for no reason that’s an entirely different story but like are people not allowed to be skeeved out by people they don’t like anymore ? lol
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