#everyone who has known me irl in the past 10 years knows my opinions on spider-man suits. big yapping topic

[forecast0ctopus]

Question: which starfleet uniform design is your favorite? (Mine is next gen’s)

im probably the very last person who should say anything about fashion but i always have very strong Opinions on costumes in movies/tv so. putting a read more here lmao

the tos uniforms Specifically the s1+2 velour ones – imo the light and shadow looks more interesting on that texture than the s3 ones. + big fan of the idea with them being not super structured and Not military, with exception for the rank braids and starfleet emblem. also the black collar is sewn on but i like the implication of layers im a big layers fan

also love the wrath of khan uniforms because while i do love the idea of a less structured uniform to be less militaristic i also uh. love structure. but its good at being its own unique thing rather than looking straight up militant like the aos red and grey ones

im a little over halfway through tng rn and i really like the uniforms in it!! except the red and yellow switch up. also i was struggling with seasons 1+2 because before they changed the material and added the collar they were horrendous lmao the material was so so so bad

havent watched anything besides those yet though so its not a super reliable opinion rn lmao

[tricksterlatte]

I saw someone on the bird website point out that just because people disagree with a fellow fan doesn't give them the right to bully or harass said fan, especially in such cruel ways (they were body shaming a well known Overwatch person because she shared a selfie, and the hate originated from her opinions on the character).

It's been driving me crazy how people somehow forgot you can disagree with someone's opinions without being an asshole. Why do we condemn bigotry or cruelty when it's directed at our friends, but hurl it out ourselves when opportunity arises to bash someone we dislike? It just makes me so sad.

This isn't about a specific situation but it's a problem i've noticed over the years. I have been both a perpetrator and a victim of this (if I said otherwise, I'd be a liar. I've been on the internet since I was 10 and have been active in multiple fandoms), but I don't want to contribute whatsoever to that type of environment anymore. We have to talk the talk and walk the walk with this one, or we will continue to be miserable. If you dislike something or someone, either communicate if this person is supposed to matter to you or vice versa, or just block them, mute them, unfollow them. Whichever suits your comfort level for whatever the situation may be. If you hate something or someone but still proceed to follow them, check their profile, and grab screenshots or QRTs to make fun of them, whether with petty jabs or actual bigotry and cruelty, you are not only making other people into targets. You are sending yourself into a spiral that will only harm you in the long run.

I know how addicting social media can be. I know how the instant gratuitous relief can feel when you vent about something within an echo chamber. And I don't think the answer is just don't vent, don't misconstrue my words. I think the answer is does this make you happy? I don't think this type of habit makes anyone happy. I know sometimes people change, and I really hope people can and do.

I don't say this as an accusation or to be mean myself, I say this as someone who suffered on my own end, not only from taking the brunt of harassment but also from indulging it on occasion. I used to be horrible about this type of fixation on things I hated within fandom during my prime days in my earliest tumblr fandoms, and I nearly fell into this trap again over the past few years. My irl situation was entering a state of despair, and during those times, without anyone trustworthy that shared these spaces with me and that knew me well in return, fandom felt like the one place where I had a semblance of control. That doesn't excuse belittling people. It never does. A reason is not justification.

It's a special type of hell, for example from my personal experience, to receive dozens of suibait anons about fanfic you published, whether it was from things I left blatantly tagged and easily avoidable, over my writing not being as good as others' within these spaces, or because people admitted they were envious of something outside of my control. Or people making fun of my cosplay photos or treating me as an object to be sexualized, no matter who they were or how they identified. I had old Retrospring anons sent that exploited my vulnerability regarding events only certain groups knew about, trying me during my worst of times. When I vaguely discussed them on other websites, without sharing things being said to protect myself and to not spread drama, I was largely told I was overreacting and to just delete them. Which I did, but they kept coming. I deleted anonymous ways of contacting me and closed off most forms of contact with fandoms other than a few long running places I've known for years (thank you WWD crew you guys are the GOAT). But even so. If I didn't have the person who is now my wife there for me at the right time, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Not everyone experiencing this type of thing has anyone there for them at all.

I have a tendency to ramble, so I'll summarize here: the only type of toxicity that will ever bring people joy is toxic yaoi, toxic yuri, Toxic by Britney Spears, and the Toxic TM from Pokemon. I want to get better myself, and I'm posting this because I hope for the best for anyone who read this. If you disagree with me for this, that's okay too. If you don't think this applies to you, it might not! I don't know you. None of us know each other, which I think should be further incentive to be kind, instead of ample opportunity to be mean. If you have the choice, strive to be kind over the escapism that brings us joy. For some of us, this will be the only kindness we may ever know.

[x-multifandom-trash-x]

Favourite Shows Tag Game

Rules: List 5 favourite shows (in no particular order) and answer questions accordingly.

No one really tagged me but I took @isqueedmyself up on their open invitation, so thanks for that 😊

I’m gonna tag my only irl friend with a fandom focussed blog @the-kiwi-lady-pendragon but if anyone else wants to do it then go ahead!

1. Doctor Who

2. Doom Patrol

3. Once Upon A Time

4. NCIS

5. The Flight Attendant

1. Who is your favourite character in 2?

Laura easily. She’s such a sweetheart with a pure heart. Of course she’s not perfect but I understand what it’s like to basically lose parts of yourself and act against your values in the name of self-preservation and I empathise with that.

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1?

Rose. I know that’s a super unpopular opinion but 🤷🏼‍♀️ I just find her whiny, selfish, and annoying. Don’t get me wrong I know she’s supposed to be 19 and that definitely plays a role but I just can’t look past it. Also maybe Simm!Master buttttt that’s just me being a bitter ass bitch about things.

3. What’s your favourite episode of 4?

17x03 (Going Mobile), 15x04 (Skeleton Crew), and 16x04 (Third Wheel). There’s so many to choose from but I’ve narrowed it down to three. These are all ones with lots of content around Jack (my fave character) without torturing her.

4. What is your favourite season of 5?

Season 1 by far. I actually really didn’t like season 2.

5. What’s your favourite relationship in 3?

Y’know I actually don’t have many ships in Once Upon A Time and none of the ones I do have are really serious. I think maybe Regina x Rumple (but I also lowkey ship Zelena with Rumple so idk).

6. Who is your anti relationship in 2?

Oop here’s another super unpopular opinion but I can’t stand MadamFarr. 😅 I love Laura as we’ve already figured out and I really can’t stand Rita or the way Rita treats Laura. I just think Laura deserves better. However, I’ll support it a tiny bit if it becomes canon as I’ll do anything to have Laura’s queerness confirmed on the show.

7. How long have you watched 1?

11 or 12 years.

8. How did you become interested in 3?

I saw an ad for it on tv! But I didn’t wait until it aired here in New Zealand I just watched it online.

9. Who is your favourite actor in 4?

Maria Bello ❤️

10. Which show do you prefer 1, 2 or 5?

Two (Doom Patrol). But one (Doctor Who) is a close second.

11. Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

I would think it’s Doctor Who even if you don’t count the classic episodes. There’s just a lot more of it. I’ve seen every episode of both shows.

12. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

I’m most like Ellie and I ship her with Jack so I think it would be her.

13. How would you kill off your favourite character in 5?

Lmao I would not. Somehow she’s still alive, at this point it seems to me Miranda Croft is unkillable. If she was to be killed off it wouldn’t be a fair fight - maybe one of her many enemies sent multiple assassins (at the same time) to kill her.

14. Would a 3/4 crossover work?

Definitely not. That’s not to say that that there isn’t a place for supernatural/fantastical content in procedural shows (I’m pretty sure I recall Castle having a zombie episode and a time travel episode). However, I think that the NCIS characters would not know what to make of the Once Upon A Time characters and the situations they’d be in and the more they learned the worse it would get. They would find out about these ridiculously complicated families etc and just start calling everyone out. Which would piss off the Once Upon A Time characters and it would all go to hell basically.

15. Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple.

I think Captain Jack and Donna would work well together. The hard part would be getting Donna to give it a chance.

16. Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?

Uhhhh … neither of these shows are particularly known for their cast as far as I’m aware, although both casts do excellently at delivering the material. In Once Upon A Time there’s two actors I like and in The Flight Attendant there’s only one. So based on that I’d have to go Once Upon A Time. However, I only watched The Flight Attendant for Michelle Gomez but I watched Once Upon A Time because I was actually interested in the premise of the show. So based on that I’d have to go The Flight Attendant. Meh, I guess it’s a tie 🤷🏼‍♀️

[aegialia]

self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill. 

for good: 

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through 

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby. 

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting. 

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends. 

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me. 

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness. 

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories. 

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me. 

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

[evesbeve]

~All. Of. Them.~ ☺

99 gay-ish asks

… you know WHAT.

FINE.

I’LL DO ALL OF THEM.

LONG ANSWER UNDER THE TAG, HA V E FUN-

1. how tall are you?

I am 159cm aka 5′3ft!

2. what is your body type?

According to the first Google Image result I got, it’s between “Banana Shape” and “Apple Shape”. I have no idea who came up with these terms. But there you go.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

My nails-

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

My hair is brunette, which is also my natural hair color!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I’d like to think I’m outgoing, but we all know the truth rip

6. are you more femme or butch?

Depends on the day-

7. are you tol or smol?

I definitely wouldn’t call myself tol, so smol, I guess!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Sober Mom

9. weird habit?

The door has to be either fully closed or fully open. Don’t fite me on this-

10. favorite meme?

Too many to count, but this is one of my favourites right now-

but also like, most of my faves at the moment are actually memes with pictures of me and my friends XD

11. do you sing in the shower?

Hell yes!!

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

Yep!

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

(Answered here)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nope, but I’ve seen Aladdin’s counterpart to broadway in London! So it’s like, the exact same thing, but in London XD

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes. Do I think it makes them less enjoyable though? Nope.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

It’s a complicated story, but I have!

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

Gooood, it’s been so long since I’ve played CAH! I have no idea ;;

18. last movie you watched?

I think it was Far From Home!

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m usually the one taking pictures and filming my friends (they better thank me in 10 years) but to be honest, I wish they’d take some more pics of me to look back to too. I do enjoy filming though, so I guess behind!

20. favorite tv show?

Right now, it’s definitely The Umbrella Academy!

21. meaning behind your url

My name is Evelina, and I am online

22. reason you joined tumblr

To follow a project I used to like on YouTube ^^

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

I mean, @clumsinessinperson, @xxwhisperapplexx, @hollsheadcanons and @spinharmony started out as tumblr friends, but now we’ve known each other for more than a year and they’re my best friends in the world ;w;

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Olives. Peas. Crocs.

uPDATE: i READ THAT QUESTION WRONG, I THOUGHT IT SAID THE OPPOSITE, I LOVE ALL THESE THREE THINGS

I do hate BBQ sauce with PASSION though-

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

I mean, only when I got my teeth extracted XD

26. have you had sex?

Nope.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

I’ve never sneaked out before, so nah. My phone caught me on my phone at 5am once, does that count?

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

(Answered here)

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

The ocean’s waves clash at the coast. They drown in themselves. They help the boats move. But sometimes, the ocean is quiet.

30. describe your best friend.

Nearly impossible to describe a 100 people in one sentence, but none of them have braincells.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

NOT AGAIN, ANSWERED HERE.

32. how do you feel right now?

Energetic!!

33. what is your biggest fear?

Dying

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

(Answered here)

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Honestly, uploading my stories.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

MANY TIMES. But hey, that’s life. And that doesn’t mean that it’ll always disappoint you. Keep trying, everyone!

37. something you fantasize about.

MEETING MY ONLINE FRIENDS IRL ;W;

38. last time you cried and why

This morning because I had a fight with my mom lmao

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

Me.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Sure do *dabs*

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@xxwhisperapplexx​, @clumsinessinperson​, @aesthetically-bitching​ and my other irl fren who doesn’t have tumblr but he is a dumbass!!

42. the last time you felt broken?

SEE 38, RIP (I’m okay now tho, dw!)

43. are you starting to realize anything?

I wanna be a director or a scriptwriter or something!! Just work in the movies!!

44. are you more dominant or more submissive?

Dominant, but I can be just as submissive!

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if I love you?? Why would I date someone I don’t love?

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Uhhh look, I’m 16, so the same age, lol. And even if I was older, age doesn’t matter as long as it’s not creepy and predatory, you know?

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

I don’t have a crush at the moment, thANK GOD.

48. do you have any kinks?

Bye.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

(Answered here)

50. how can someone win your heart?

Step One: Stan Ben Hargreeves.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Nop. Never confessed-

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Yes.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

I mean, I wouldn’t trust someone I just met with my life, but I do have faith in people ^^

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

I do not,,, have a crush,,,

56. is confidence cute?

Everything positive is cute.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I don’t like someone right now but if it were to happen, I wouldn’t say anything? It’s their life.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Everyone makes me laugh. I must hate the person then XD

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH AAAAA

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Yes, like a bazillion times.

61. do you want to get married

I’m open to it!

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Honestly, I was trying to think of a serious answer, I PROMISE, but then I remembered that when I was little my parents had pissed me off so badly, and I quoted a Barbie movie that said “You’re ruining my life!” like an angry toddler.

Then they threatened to never let me watch Barbie again because it was a bad influence, anD I MEAN. It was what it was XD

Note: They never banned Barbie.

63. three things that turn you on.

How did you know I was an android.

64. who do you hate?

Hate is a strong word, lmao.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Unironically, it’s “boo” XD

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS A QUESTION LIKE THAT, honestly I do not remember. Probably someone from Winx.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both are valid.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

I don’t look, they hit me in the head.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

All. All the girls.

70. are you good at flirting?

Yes, actually XD

71. who was the first person you came out to?

Probably @aesthetically-bitching​, I think!

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

yeet

73. is your crush wlw?

don’t have a crush, but used to-

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

I have no idea, I’ve known I was bi since 6th grade.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

Not all the steps you walked on are stableBut that’s okayReaching the top requires a few

76. do you fall in love easily?

I’ve only fallen like in love twice. Crushes are way different, and I’d say kinda…?

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yeah. But I hate talking about it.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep. If you notice I’m sad, I want you to notice I’m sad.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Mhm!

80. what is your “type?”

Ironically, Eudora Patch from The Umbrella Academy is a very good depiction of my type. (Note: Personality wise. Looks genuinely don’t matter to me, everyone is BEAUTIFUL.)

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

I am a little spoon inside and out-

82. tall girls or short girls?

Doesn’t matter-

83. hugs or kisses?

Hugs!! kisses kinda make me uncomfortable most of the time to be honest

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

b O T H

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

Tummy-

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Hairline,,,

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair!!

88. making out or soft kisses?

Soft kisses, definitely. Not that I’ve kissed anyone before, but oh well XD

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Neck…? I’d say neck.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

It took me a while, but I am very confident in it right now!

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies™

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

I have, and I told them absolutely nothing

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

*shrugs* young XD

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

All girls are cute girls. So many things.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

THIS QUESTION IS STRESSING ME OUT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CHOOSE. Honestly, Alphys and Undyne are a hard one to top, aND ALSO CANON

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“You’re just confused.”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

… I don’t know what to tell you.

98. what is love to you?

Love is complicated.

To me, it’s not about having a partner. Actually, loving someone regardless of romantic feelings is way more important, in my opinion. These things can co-exist, and loving a friend is just as important loving a lover.

The lack of it can hurt, especially being forced out of it. But feeling love? I don’t know. It’s one of the most beautiful feelings ever. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by it.

I really love this article on it! It’s about the 8 types of love the ancient greeks had, and as I greek person myself, I think highly of it. I highly recommend reading it!

99. ask me anything. (bUt since no one specified, I’ll ask myself: Why do this and what did I learn from this?)

I did this because I am stubborn. Also I genuinely liked the questions XD

What I learned from this experience is that I really love answering questions, oops-

If you made it this far, I don’t know what to tell you. You deserve a golden star, my dude.

ANYWAY, NEVER AGAIN.

[bethesdaglitch]

1-70 do em all! 😁💙

I’m seriously so sorry this took so long, but it was so much fun!! thank you!!! Also it’s super long so I’m gonna put it under a readmore!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Jak & Daxter! 2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.Lmao I’m not exactly a creative person, but when I was little I tried coming up with and drawing my own pokemon. They were… bad3. Who did you play with as a kid?My brother! At first I stole his Gameboy Color whenever he wasn’t using it, but then he saved up and bought a PS2 so we could play games together4. Who do you play with now?No one really lol. I kinda prefer to play single-player games now? But I’ll play with various friends when we hang out.5. Ever use cheat codes?When I was little, yeah! Especially in the Sly Raccoon games 6. Ever buy strategy guides?Before the age of unlimited free online strategy guides I did, now I just use said online ones7. Any games you have multiple copies of?Yep, I’ve “lost” games only to find them again after replacing them like… four times? It happened with Oblivion, Fable 3, DA: Origins, and, weirdly enough, that one obscure (but fun imo!) wii game, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?This one was hard! After a teeny bit of research, I narrowed it down to either Rule of Rose, LoZ Collector’s Edition on Gamecube, and pokemon red and yellow9. Most regrettable purchase?Hhhhhhhh I bought the video game for the 2006 Dreamworks movie Over the Hedge. I was only 12, but I still should’ve known better :(10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?I’ve gone to a few midnight releases, but none that have lasted for hours, luckily. I only started going to them in the last few years, so the only ones I’ve been to so far are Fallout 4, DA:I and uh… ME:A (I KNOW)11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?Nah not really, I don’t play online games, so. I have friends who play video games, but I’ve never met someone BECAUSE of video games12. Ever get picked on for liking games?Lol no?13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?Overwatch14. Favorite game music?NIER, hands down. 15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?Probably something cute and harmless like the leaf from Animal Crossing lol16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Lately we’ve been really into Towerfall: Ascension and Screencheat17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Wh—no????18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?So long as they didn’t try to “forbid” me from playing and so long as we had other interests to bond over, then sure. It’d be kind of a bummer though lol19. Favorite handheld console?Idk that I have one! Maybe the Switch, since that’s the most recent and popular?20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?Silent Hill 3 and DA:I21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?The Civilization games22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?Sometimes, yeah. Nothing too embarrassing, though. 23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?What, like… ever?? Geez, I dunno… probably Oblivion?24. First Pokemon game?Yellow!25. Were you ever an arcade game player?I actually wasn’t really :/26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?Oh yeah, with my brother. He’s 6 years older than me, which pretty much guaranteed I got my ass kicked in every game we played when I was younger27. Game that makes you rage?Bloodborne and Dark Souls!!!!!! I swear I try to go back and play them at least once a year, and I can never get past the first hour :(28. Ever play in a tournament?Not like an official one, but ones with friends, yep29. What is your gaming set up?Imma be real with you chief I don’t know nearly enough about computers to answer this question with anything other than “a computer”30. How many consoles do you own?Ohohoho far too many31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?I’ve never had the 3D slider up long enough to tell, but that probably means yes lol32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?BOY when I was in first grade I played Spongebob: Supersponge on Gameboy advance so much I STILL remember the password that lets you skip to the final stage (it’s WMBT) 33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?nah 34. Do either of your parents play video games?PFFF GOD NO. Although my mom does love Animal Crossing. Not playing it, but just like it’s whole deal. 35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?No and no, tbh36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?I… don’t think so? Maybe I’ve cried over a game, but blood?? Put the controller down, y’all37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?NO NO NO OVER THE HEDGE (2006) FOR THE PS2 IS THE SINGLE WORST GAME EVER MADE FIGHT ME ON THIS38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?Oh lord… idk if anyone’s ever played any of Ambition’s dating sims (Dream Girlfriend, Dream Boyfriend, Animal Boyfriend, and Moe Can Change) but I’ve literally been playing them for about… 5-ish years now? They’re seriously the worst, I fucking love them 39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?Hmm… Maybe a new Kingdoms of Amalur game would be cool? 40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?I love VR but the last time I tried it at a friend’s place I fucking faceplanted after leaning on a counter I forgot was also virtual and the first thing my friend asked was whether the headset was ok, so that stung. As for motion controls, they’re fun but they can be a real pain41. A genre that you just can’t get into?Sports games 42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?The path to what43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?Oh yeah, who hasn’t?44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?Idk if this counts but I am a MASTER at the claw machine and that stacker game. My closet is full of useless shit I’ve won from those things45. How are you at Mario Kart?OH SO FUCKING GOOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?yesssss I love them47. Do you like competitive games?I mean like I said, I mostly prefer single-player games, but I do enjoy the occasional co-op game48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?about an hour49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?I actually don’t! If it’s a game I’m not confident I’ll be good at, I pick whichever class is recommended for beginners, and that changes from game to game. Alternatively, I just go through phases where I prefer a specific class above others 50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?Christ I have no idea. Maybe a first-person escape game? idk51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?NO?? DAMN ARE Y’ALL OK????52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Literally any M game; my parents were strictly “No M games until you’re old enough!” I just got my brother to buy them most of the time though lol53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?Most DLC is fine, it’s microtransactions in “pay-to-win” games that I fucking hate. 54. Do you give in to Steam sales?HAHAHAHAHA yeah absolutely 55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?N-No??? 56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?Ok yeah I did do that 57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?Ew no58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?Ooooh… ok, Oblivion, My Time in Portia, and Divinity 259. Do you play any cell phone games?I do! I play a lot of escape games, and uh… the Ambition games mentioned previously60. Do you know the Konami Code?Is that the up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A? Huh, I never knew it had a name!61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?I used to trade them in occasionally, but mostly I keep them 62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?Yeah the Switch for BotW. Not proud of it, but it was worth it63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? nah64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?Yep! 65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?OHHHH MY GOD YEAH, I’M STILL FUCKING PISSED ABOUT IT. I had GameShark for Gameboy and PS2, but that one was fine, it didn’t cause any problems. It was ACTION FUCKING REPLAY that fucked me over. I used it for KH2 and it worked the whole time until literally THE VERY LAST XEMNAS FIGHT, when my HP bar suddenly dropped to 1??? Not my HP, mind you, the HP BAR. Meaning 1 HP was the most I could have. Literally fuck action replay >:( 66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?nope67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?I do! The very first thing I ever saved up money for to buy myself was Pokemon Crystal version. Until then I’d just been borrowing (re:stealing) my brother’s, but when I was 5 and Crystal was about to come out, my parents made me a deal that if I saved up $15, they’d pay the other $15 and I could get it! It was the first time I was working towards a fun goal, so it was all pretty exciting for 5-year-old me lol. It’s dumb, I know, but it’s something I look back on fondly68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?Lol nah, I think the best thing I ever got with tickets was a cheap snowglobe 69. In your opinion, best game ever made? UHHHH GOD. That’s… super tough. I’m genuinely not sure I have an answer tbh. I’m really into Divinity 2 right now but best game ever made?? Idk! that’s a hard one!!!! 70. Very first game you ever beat? I won’t lie, it was Spongebob: Supersponge on GBA

[bensopinionsonvariousthingsblr]

Top 5 favorite games

Alright so here is the second, part I’ve been spending a lot of time working on this whole thing so I hope you enjoy! 

 Number 5:The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap                                                Developer and Release year: Nintendo, 2004 Japan, 2005 NA                            What it can be played on: GBA/ Wii U Virtual Console 

       So I’m not gonna pretend like 4 of my top 5 picks aren’t Zelda games, that being said the Minish Cap is a game I played more recently, around last year, and at first after beating it I sort of just put it in my top 20, I loved it yeah, but I never really thought about it until now that, even though it was short, every thing about this game was solid and fun to me, the shrinking mechanic was challenging but very well done aesthetically, and the story was good, with the relationship between Link and Zelda, them being childhood friends and Link doing whatever it takes to have his friend back, and the villain Vaati was interesting in his relationship with the Minish (The inhabitants of the tiny world) and his final boss fight being very difficult for me, and the story wraps up nicely as usual, all in all it was a Zelda experience that I truly loved, and my favorite 2D Zelda game.

 Favorite part(s): Definitely the Aesthetic and design of the tiny world, and all the charm around the entire game

 Number 4:Sonic Adventure 2                                                                                  Developer and Release year: Sega, 2001                                                              What it can be played on: Dreamcast/Gamecube/PC/PS3/XB360    

 There it is, probably the most controversial pick on this entire list, unless maybe the next one is too i dont know, but I am a Sonic fan, which is something sort of rare these days, unless you like Mania which is pretty awesome but I’m more of a 3D guy, but this game is my favorite Sonic game because, even though the story is confusing I love it, it was dark and i legitimately felt like Dr.Robotnik was actually a major threat. There are 3 types of gameplay, the Classic Sonic/Shadow, The treasure hunting, and the robot/mech levels that make up the game, the best is the Classic gameplay of Sonic and Shadow, that usually isn’t up for debate, the other modes are pretty fun, but I love the game for the Sonic/Shadow levels, and the game to me really picks up on the Space Colony Ark in the Final Act. The *spoilers ahead* part where Shadow (who I forgot to mention is one of my favorite characters and not because I’m an edgy frick) turns to Sonic’s side and fights the Biolizard to buy them time, Shadow’s character arc was amazing in this game, and the final boss was really fun too, not to mention the soundtrack i mean, it’s a sonic game of course there’s a good soundtrack.

 Favorite part(s): Shadow the Hedgehog, his levels, character arc, and general mystery surrounding the black and red anti-hero was amazing to me. 

 Number 3:The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword                                                  Developer and Release year: Nintendo, 2011                                                        What it can be played on: Wii/Wii U virtual console   

 I have defended this game in so many tweets and irl debates it’s incredible, Skyward Sword released to a 10/10 from IGN (that doesn’t matter to me much but it is an accolade) a 93 Metacritic score, which I do care about since it is an overall score and even got some Game of the Year awards in a year where Skyrim, Portal 2, Minecraft, Mario Galaxy 2, and many more were up for contention, but that proves nothing I just wanted to prove that I have argued about it enough that I know what I’m talking about. The main problem everyone has with this game is the motion controls, they say they are not accurate or don’t work, which can sometimes be true but, Scott Falco (he makes the “”with a side of salt series which he has some very good opinions on) says it the best, he said that he didn’t like it sitting down just waggling the wii remote, you’ve gotta stand up and play, then you fell immersed like YOU are the one doing it and not the wii remote, that is what i agree with and stand by anyway. Now past those criticisms I don’t think there are many more, some people don’t like the story, but to me this game has the BEST story in maybe any game I’ve ever played, the Link and Zelda relationship is better than any other game in my opinion and only Breath of the Wild comes close to that relationship in my opinion, now, the rest of the story is intriguing too, the origin of the master sword (I’m not going to comment on Fi, some people got too annoyed with her to focus on her amazing character arc in my opinion) the existence of Skyloft and the very first Link, Zelda, and Ganon in the form of Demise, all of it was done well and was very interesting to me. I liked the gameplay too, I think the new sprinting and stamina system was revolutionary to the series and made movement a lot more improved from previous entries in the franchise. The final act with the boss battle with Ghirahim and eventually Demise were very cinematic and awesome, and with Zelda’s life on the line during the whole thing it made it just that much more intense. 

Favorite part(s): THE STORY, I can not say enough how much I love the story but also I loved the boss battles,  Demise,Ghirahim,The Ancient Automaton, and all of them were fun to me.

 Number 2:The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild                                              Developer and Release year: Nintendo, 2017                                                        What it can be played on: Switch/Wii U   

  This game is a new staple in the Zelda series, the highest selling of all time, a new open world, a Game of the Year winner in almost all the awards shows, and even still people love to pick on this game a little bit, with all the weapon-breaking criticisms, and I know that can get annoying, but it does add a new layer of difficulty to an already difficult game, anyway Breath of the Wild was first known as Zelda for the Wii U, and it was revealed with a trailer at E3 2014 and was slated for release in 2015, of course it got pushed back and with Nintendo now finished with the switch they announced Breath of the Wild as a launch title, March 3rd, 2017 will always be one of my favorite days of all time, as I got my switch and had the first mainline Zelda game release as a fan of the series, and I did NOT stop playing it that night until about 1 AM (thats a rookie number now i mean c’mon I tweeted at 3 AM last night then went ahead and watched a movie) which was super late for me at the time though and I went to bed ecstatic about the game, I had gotten to a part where the story was starting to go forward and I couldn’t wait to finish it, about 6 or 7 days later I did and BOI let me tell ya I loved every second of that week, the gameplay is smooth and fun with combat being re-invented and then the Guardians were really fun because up until the end i didnt know about the shield thing so I would just bash them with all the brute force i had, the final boss fight was incredible (thats a common theme with my favorite Zelda games) and the Dark Beast Ganon fight was really atmospheric and entertaining as well and the ending with the re-uniting of Link and Zelda was so well done and just makes for a perfect ending.

Favorite Part(s): I loved the massive open world and all the secrets and new enemies and shrines to discover, it just made my time playing the game very enjoyable! Plus everything else like the story and the combat.

Number 1:The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker                                                Developer and Release year: Nintendo 2002 JP/2003/ 2013 HD                            What it can be played on: Gamecube/Wii U

  The Wind Waker. My unwavering favorite game for who knows how long now, the first Zelda game I ever finished and my introduction to great single player games as a whole really. The Wind Waker released in December in Japan and followed up the next year World Wide, the art style of the cell-shaded characters had never been seen before in a Zelda game and people were skeptical about whether or not it would go down well. Well it released and the people of December in Japan and of March World wide were very pleased with the game and loved it for its gameplay, story, vast ocean and many islands to explore with many hours of gameplay to be put in discovering everything the game had to offer, as for me i wouldnt get to play it for a while longer considering i was VERY young at the time of its release, so I would get to play it when it re-released for the Wii U in 2013, about ten years after the release of the original, I didnt get it though until Christmas of 2015 (or 2014 Im not honestly sure) but it wasnt even my gift, as I’ve said before it was my brother’s and i just watched him play it for a bit and tried it myself after being intrigued, and I dont know if I stopped very much over the course of the time I played it, I was challenged by the puzzles, and from the very opening at Outset Island I loved the art style and loved the characters in the story, with the new unique take on Zelda as Tetra, having Link sailing instead of walking, heck even having Hyrule not even the setting (for most of the game anyway) was new to the series and as my first 3D Zelda game I was captivated by all of it, everything about my favorite franchise now was fresh and new and thats something I’ll never get to experience again which is probably why I remember and still play the Wind Waker which such a fondness today, because of how new everything was to me and how much I enjoyed all of it, not to mention the final boss fight (here we go again) was and is still my favorite, with the world being submerged around you and you and Zelda enclosed with no way out other than through Ganondorf, the games story as always (I hate how repetitive I am) ended very well and to this day it remains one of my favorite stories ever told, and I don’t know if anything will be able to top this game just because of the time in my life in which I got to experience it and with how solid the game as a whole is.

Favorite Part(s): The Wide-open sea and the islands are all so cool and creative, plus the Final boss fight still stands as my favorite to this day.

Thanks a TON for reading through all of this, I had started work on it some time last year and got super busy doing other things during all this time but it really means a ton to me that people would actually care enough to read what I write, or even just skim it, 

                                                         Thanks -Ben :)

[theconservativebrief]

At what point in the completely nightmarish process of online dating does one decide that it’s worth spending money on making that experience slightly less terrible? After the first truly bad date? After the 70th?

A generation ago, things were simpler. You essentially had two options: Meet a fellow human being in your respective flesh sacks, or pay somebody (or a newspaper) to set you up with one. The internet wrought popular paid services like Match.com in 1995, JDate in 1997, and eHarmony in 2000, but it wasn’t until Tinder invented the addictive “swipe” in 2013 that online dating became a true free-for-all.

But a free-for-all doesn’t pay, which is why if you’ve ever spent time on Bumble, OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, or any of the other zillion apps promising to make us feel a little less lonely, you’ve likely seen ads for a mysterious paid version of the very same service. They offer perks like read receipts, the ability to see who’s already swiped right, and a temporary “boost” that automatically puts you at the top of the pile for a certain amount of time. The practice has a long history: OKCupid rolled out its A-List feature as early as 2009, before Tinder and Bumble even existed.

And what the freemium pricing model did for online games is becoming the strategy used by dating apps today. They’re free to use, but the psychology of gaming suggests that the more you use them, the more tempting it is to advance to the next level. When it comes to online dating, however, the reasons that people choose to upgrade to the payment models are far more varied than that of a typical gaming app.

It may seem redundant, particularly when there are already dating apps where you can see who’s liked you that don’t cost a thing (Hinge, for instance). But people are still paying for premium — lots of them. Last fall, Tinder beat out Candy Crush to become the Apple Store’s top-grossing app after unleashing its Tinder Gold service. And app makers claim it’s worth it: In June, Coffee Meets Bagel co-founder Dawoon Kang told Vice that men who pay the $35 per month for the upgraded version have “a 43 percent higher number of connections (mutual likes) than non-payers” and that conversation lengths increase by 12 percent.

Those I talked to who’ve used premium versions of free dating apps didn’t have a singular reason for doing so — their motivations ranged from wanting to expand their location-based potential matches to avoiding the stigma of being discovered by Facebook friends on a kink-friendly app in a conservative town. But the most popular reason seemed to be the desire to see who’s liked them without having to make the commitment of liking them back.

Hannah, a 31-year-old teacher in Chicago, bought Bumble Boost after four years of being single and realizing she wanted to get serious about marriage and family. She says she doesn’t interact with a lot of men on the job (“other than my first graders, their dads, and our parish priest — none of whom I’m interested in dating”), and all of her friends are couples. A weeklong trial of Bumble Boost cost her about $10, which led to a monthlong package (about $25) and then a three-month-long package (about $50).

What you get when you pay for free dating apps

Bumble Boost, $24.99/month

See everyone who’s right-swiped you

Extend matches by 24 hours

Rematch with expired connections

Tinder Plus, $9.99/month for users under 30; $19.99/month for 30+

Unlimited likes

Rewind last swipe (if you swipe by accident)

5 Super Likes per day

1 Boost each day (puts you on the top of the pile)

Passport to swipe around the world

Tinder Gold, $4.99/month added to the cost of Tinder Plus

Everything that Tinder Plus offers, plus the ability to see who’s liked you

Feeld Majestic, $15.99/month

See who’s liked you

Hide profile from Facebook friends

See when others were last seen on the app

Grindr Xtra, $11.99/month

OKCupid A-list, $9.99/month

Ad-free

See who likes you first

More search and filter options

See who’s read your messages

For Hannah, the biggest benefit was seeing who liked her before making the commitment to like them back. “[It’s] been helpful in seeing who’s left in the dating pool, adjusting my expectations, and deciding what ‘trade-offs’ I’m willing to make,” she explains. It also helped her get out of her comfort zone. “I definitely decided to match or message with some men I would’ve left-swiped on if I hadn’t known they were interested in me. I think it’s such a fine line — being open to different types of men and giving ‘pink flags’ in profiles the benefit of the doubt, while still listening to your gut and not wasting your time going out with men you’ll never be interested in or are straight-up jerks.”

That curiosity is the same reason Wynter, a 33-year-old engineer in Brooklyn, made the leap to Boost. “I recently broke up with someone and was out of the loop with swiping,” she explains. “A few days went by after downloading the app and I wasn’t getting any matches. I had friends reviewing my photos and got the thumbs-up on quality. I think I’m an attractive person and couldn’t understand the issue — was the app broken or what? I figured if I could see the matches, I could at least see who was swiping on me. Even if I wasn’t attracted to that person, it gave me some validation that I wasn’t a monster.”

However, paying for Bumble didn’t improve her actual experience on the app. In three weeks of using it, she’s gone on one date but said she probably would have swiped right on the person anyway. “Sure, I’m able to reach out to more people because I can connect to them, but the response rate is the same. A small percent of the people I match with respond or move past a few back and forth messages.”

That wasn’t an issue for Molly, a 25-year-old producer in Leeds, England, who paid for Tinder Gold despite never planning on actually meeting anyone from the app. “Arguably getting Tinder Gold was basically just a vanity purchase to reassure myself that people would be interested in me if I started using it more seriously,” she says. The ego boost worked, however: “Seeing who has liked you is kind of wild; it’s completely overwhelming but it was very, very interesting.”

For 23-year-old writer Dylan, the draw of Grindr Xtra was expanding the radius of potential matches. In New York City, where he’s based, the free version of the location-based app only showed him profiles within a couple of blocks. “In my opinion, if you live in a big, densely populated city, [the upgrade] makes a big difference. Though convenience is great, I don’t want to limit my dating or hookup prospects to just a couple blocks from my apartment. I would hate to miss out on meeting someone exciting just because they live six blocks away.”

In South Carolina, 36-year-old legal professional Jessica (not her real name) paid for the premium kink-friendly app Feeld because that was the only way her profile could remain hidden from Facebook friends. Due to her field of work and the fact that she lives in a small town in a conservative state, she didn’t want her precise sexual desires (profiles on Feeld specifically ask users to list them) to be public knowledge.

She says having the freedom to use an app without fear of being exposed introduced her to people she wouldn’t have met if she hadn’t known that they were into her first. “I hooked up with two guys separately that were younger than my age range, so I would not have seen them if I had not paid for the app and saw that they liked me first,” she says. “They were fun times.”

She also discovered a few surprises about the people in her town. “Lots of guys that I would not think were into kink were on the app,” she adds. “Just goes to show you do not know what goes on in other people’s bedrooms and not to judge a book by its cover. … It has made me more open and exploratory in my own sex life.”

Physical validation, sexual discoveries, and newfound open-mindedness: They’re the sorts of intangible objects that money isn’t supposed to be able to buy. But for most of the premium users I emailed, that’s what they found — all for under $25 a month.

But how much more likely are you to find an actual, IRL match? According to Eli J. Finkel, a psychology professor at Northwestern who has conducted comprehensive studies on the subject, the real genius of online dating isn’t sophisticated algorithms that promise to find your soulmate, like the ones offered by Match or eHarmony. Nor is it the ability to browse the profiles of other users for a glimpse into their actual personality (studies show it’s pretty much useless).

It’s much more simple than that: Online dating expands the pool of potential partners. In a 2015 New York Times op-ed, he wrote, “With Tinder, online dating is capitalizing on its strength — an expanded dating pool — and then accelerating the process of actually meeting someone.” So the greatest benefit of paying for an already free app might be services like Grindr’s location expander and Tinder’s unlimited swipes.

Of course, even when you’re paying for it to be somewhat less soul-crushing, dating is still dating. Unfortunately, that virtual $10 doesn’t unlock the gateway to the magical closet where your perfect match has been hiding all along, or even the gateway to someone who’s willing to meet up. “I’ve met some nice guys and met some duds. There are plenty of people that I talk to that I end up not meeting, either because it fizzles out or distance or whatever,” says Jessica.

“The actual interactions weren’t really any different than using the free version or any other dating apps,” adds Hannah.

Lorenzo, a 38-year-old customer service manager in San Diego, downloaded the paid versions of Tinder and OKCupid because he wasn’t looking for the kind of long-term relationships promised by sites like eHarmony. He said that at first he was able to schedule a date each week, but that the constant stream of matches started to turn into more of a trickle. “As far as OKCupid goes, I’m not sure it’s worth the pay,” he says. “I hardly get any likes, and most women don’t respond unless you message them.”

It also doesn’t prevent users from being, well, predictable human-being-on-a-dating-app levels of shady. Wynter says she’s skeptical of whether paying for premium is worth the cost because “I know a lot of men who swipe right on everyone they find even mildly attractive and filter later. It’s especially frustrating on Bumble because then I don’t feel I should put a lot of effort into my initial message because the match doesn’t guarantee a response.”

That’s the thing about paying for a free dating app: It might not provide the variables to the mysterious formula that equals “love” (or “great sex” or at the very least “a mildly pleasant evening”), but it’ll probably give you some interesting insights about the nature of humanity or a pretty solid confidence boost. And for many, that’s reason enough.

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Original Source -> Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble are free. But people say paying for them is worth the money.

via The Conservative Brief

[fourlynchclover]

5-23

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? like irl not really lmao but like stacy n jenna

6. is it hard for you to get over someone? ... :) :) :)

7. what was your life like last year? so much fucking better than it is now

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? annoyed,, no i dont think so

9. who did you last see in person? my brother

10. are you good at hiding your feelings? tbh i dont even know

11. are you listening to music right now? no not right now

12. what is something you want right now? tbh pepsi

13. how do you feel right now? im chill

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? my brother probably hugged me yesterday lmao

15. personality description: do i literally even have a personality like my personality is youtube references and knowledge of the sims 4

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? all the fucking time

17. opinion on insecurities. everyone has insecurities idk what opinion i have about them as a whole tho

18. do you miss how things were a year ago? tbh yes, i never thought id wanna relive 2016 but god i wish i could go back

19. have you ever been to New York? nope

20. what is your favourite song at the moment? dont blame me by taylor swift

21. age and birthday? 20, march 27th

22. description of crush. stacy hinojosa, better known as stacyplays, is a youtube gamer and vlogger with over one million subscribers on her main channel. she’s best known for her minecraft series, dogcraft.

23. fear(s) im literally terrified of everything like dolls ghosts the dark sharks dinosaurs cars driving the future the past the world the government idk man

[promomagazine]

10 Quick Q’s With Jessica Michault On Decoded Fashion London

By: Oline Abildstrom

This week, the annual Decoded Fashion summit was hosted in London. It brought together a number of brands and influential people in the industry with one common goal: to learn from the past, improve the present and reimagine the future of fashion.

Many speakers took to the stage to share their ideas and opinions– nearly all were introduced by the Summit Chair, Jessica Michault, Launchmetrics’ SVP of Industry Relations.

Michault is a well-known fashion journalist who you’ll find at the front row of most major fashion shows around the globe. She was previously the Online Style Editor of The International Herald Tribune and worked for 16 years alongside one of the most respected journalists in the field, Suzy Menkes.

We want to give you an overview of this year’s Decoded Fashion – and who better to do this than the woman who heard it all and spoke to nearly everyone?

1. What 3 words would you use to describe this year’s Decoded Fashion summit?

Inspiring, informative, and engaging.

2. What were some major highlights?

The keynote interviews with Vanessa Kingori MBE, the publisher of British GQ  and Alice Temperley MBE were very interesting. Also, the #DFPOWERHOUR that focused on how AI is being used in the fashion industry was an eye opening moment. As was the final speech by Kate Baron, Head of Retail at Stylus, who laid out an amazing roadmap for the future of fashion.

3. You interviewed Vanessa Kingori, MBE, Publisher, British GQ Portfolio. Tell us a bit about it!

She is such a warm and insightful person. She clearly has a head for business, but her heart beats for fashion. This is a very good combination. You got the feeling after her talk that a number of people in the audience would be sending her their CV. She looks to be an inspiring and collaborative boss, and who doesn’t want to work with a boss like that.

4. Was there a topic discussed that you think we should hear more about?

I am curious to see how chatbots are going to be used more to engage with consumers in the future and also how VR and 360 videos will shape how we view fashion. And, on a personal note, I can’t wait to get my hands on one of Amazon’s Echo Look devices to help me pick out what to wear in the morning!

5. Which speaker resonated with you the most?

Vanessa Kingori, and I’m not saying that just because I was the one interviewing her! The audience loved what she was saying so much, that the Decoded Fashion team kept on adding more and more time to the clock so that that interview could go on longer.

6. What do you think was the most innovative product and/or company?

I really liked the ideas behind the start up Sewbo and what Hero is doing at Harvey Nichols. Two very different tech concepts…but both of them show great potential.

7. Was there one talk or panel discussion you particularly enjoyed?

I thought that the speech by Matthew Woolsey of Net-a-Porter was very informative and underlined just what a powerhouse the company is and will continue to be.

8. Any fangirl moments?

I have long been a fan of Jeremy Langmead of Mr Porter.

9. What were the main takeaways from this year?

The consumer is still very much king. That authentic connection and experience, be they digital or IRL, are what customers want more than anything…except perhaps time. They want every part of their path to purchase to be quick, easy and entertaining.

10. What topics will be featured more in the future?

I think there will be continued interest in mobile commerce. VR is still in its infancy.  I am also curious to see when shoppable video content will become mainstream.

Did you attend Decoded Fashion’s London Summit this year? If so, let us know what was your favorite part in the comments below!

Header image: Marianne Dorell via Baco Luxury

[male-emporium]

Editors’ Picks: Our 10 Favorite HSS Posts of 2016

from He Spoke Style - Men's Style, Fashion, Grooming, Tips and Advice

Our favorite posts aren’t the most popular – does that mean we have bad taste?!

While we enjoy writing each and every post on the site, there are always some posts that are simply more enjoyable to write for one reason or another.

A subject that scratches a creative itch or allows us to dig deeper into a bigger editorial idea. A scope of work that challenges us to go above and beyond in both our written and visual storytelling. Or a newfound passion that reignites the flame of curiosity.

These are the things that keep us energized because we don’t write because we have to, but because we want to.

We don’t write because we have to, but because we want to

If there was ever any doubt about that statement, I would respectfully ask you to take note of the fact that none of the posts included on our “favorites” list appear on our list of most popular posts of 2016. Do we wish some of our favorites would be your favorites too? Sure. But that’s not what it’s all about.

To that end, we’re thankful to have an audience that indulges our more creative and long form side from time to time. You are known by the company you keep. And we’ve got some amazing readers.

So here are our 10 favorite He Spoke Style posts of 2016 – in no particular order – and the stories behind the stories.

1. Speaking Style With Edward Sexton

A huge highlight. It’s not every day that you get to sit down with – and get measured by – a living legend. And Edward Sexton is about as legendary as they come in British tailoring. In addition to hearing all of Edward’s amazing stories and meeting the house’s exceptionally astute Creative Director, Dominic Sebag-Montefiore, this was a big moment for us in terms of content creation.

As a bunch of perfectionists dedicated to producing the highest quality product all the time, we can sometimes paint ourselves into a corner and induce paralysis when it comes to the actual execution of a high-level project.

The fact that we shot this on two cameras in the span of about three hours and produced an immersive, image-rich post along with an insightful video interview that generated a ton of positive feedback, gave us an immense amount of confidence in our ability to be light on our feet, mobile and create exceptional content even when time and resources are less than ideal.

Read the full article here.

2. Some Thoughts On Embracing Luxury

We’ve made very clear our position on transparency when it comes to our brand partnerships. As I know you’ve heard me say before, we are fortunate to be in a position where we can be selective with the brands we choose to partner with. We’ve worked with brands in the very distant past who have been incredibly prescriptive. And we’ve learned from those experiences that those arrangements never turn out positively for anyone – especially for you, our readers.

We want to work with brands who respect our editorial voice and vision, who know that we know our readers and brands that we are honestly very passionate about. In other words, brands who get it.

IWC is one of those brands. As part of a three-part content series centered around the release of a limited edition Portugieser (see below), we were turned loose and allowed the freedom to dig into a bigger cultural idea. I can tell you from experience that being given that sort of latitude by a brand is exceptional and is one of the reasons why we truly love working with IWC.

Read the full article here.

3. A Menswear Meet Up With Fabio Attanasio

Via the medium of Instagram, I’ve been able to discover and connect with like-minded and passionate people all over the world. And also via Instagram, one day in NYC I saw that one of those people, Fabio Attanasio, was in town as well. Though we were members of a mutual admiration society and had engaged online a bit, I’d not met Fabio in person. Until this day.

Our meeting was short – much too short, honestly – as Fabio had to catch a plane back to Italy later in the day after a successful trunk show in the city. But it was great to finally make a real life connection. Most important, however, was learning that Fabio IRL was the same Fabio I “knew” from Instagram. That’s not always the case these days and it was refreshing to know that there are some truly genuine folks out there.

Read the full article here.

4. HSS At Three: The Lost Art of Blogging

This was a big one for me. Did everyone like it? I don’t think so. I ruffled more than a few feathers – which I honestly intended to do in a free advice/teachable moment kind of way – and got called out for swearing. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. Why? Because it started a conversation.

In the past I’ve seen some of my favorite websites have some serious head-eating-the-tail moments so being self-reflective – even if it happened to be in a public forum – and honest about the space we work in was important. It allowed me to be up front with all of you and to reinforce to you and ourselves by laying it all out there, why it is that we believe we do it “right”.

Read the full article here.

5. The IWC Portugierser Tourbillon Edition “D.H. Craig USA”

I enjoyed writing and creative directing this post immensely. It was something completely new for us. Styling and shooting watches is not easy. It’s tedious. It requires excellent light. And it’s time consuming – no way around it. You shoot with a macro lens on a tripod and hold your breath while you’re making video files to turn into cinemagraphs. But it’s all worth it when you know you’re delivering a finished product of a quality that few others will actually take the time to produce.

Here’s an extremely interesting tidbit. If you’ve read the post – or just happen to be a watch nerd and/or IWC fanboy – you know that there were only 27 of these $57,000 pieces made. However, what we discovered after the fact was that the particular watch that we had been given to shoot and play around with was actually one-of-a-kind.

When we submitted our post to IWC for review, someone in the company noticed a small, but important, detail on the dial. Recently, IWC updated the font used for “Schaffhausen” from one with a serif to a sans serif font. Our watch, which was actually a prototype, had the serifed font. The watches available to the public used the new font. Don’t believe me? Check out the actual dial on the watches that were sold!

Read the full article here.

6. Remembering Bill Cunningham

When Bill Cunningham passed away on June 25, 2016, Instagram was awash with people posting photos of themselves that had been taken by Mr. Cunningham adorned by captions expressing how “honored” they felt to have been photographed by him.

Within this sea of ambulance chasing narcissism, our own Robin West penned a heartfelt, respectful and very sincere personal remembrance of a man – the progenitor of modern street style photography – who inspired her (and countless others) to express herself through the medium of fashion and to pursue a career in the industry.

This is the kind of relevant and affecting content so in line with our “don’t look at me, listen to me” ethos that we wish was possible to post three times a day.

Read the full article here.

7. A Rare Experience: The Macallan Rare Cask

One of the pillars of advice from our guide to drinking whiskey like a gentleman is “friends first”. So when the opportunity arose to partner with The Macallan to highlight their Rare Cask offering, inviting my buddy (and HSS whiskey editor) Chris Sarangoulis to experience it one afternoon was a no-brainer.

As someone who has pretty much tasted it all, Chris can be something of a skeptic when it comes to trying something new. And since up until that point, scotch hadn’t piqued his interest the same way that bourbon and rye had, he was doubly dubious of this NAS offering. While the food and the company were fantastic that afternoon, my favorite part of the experience was Chris saying, “Wow, that’s really awesome scotch!” And now he’s really into scotch…

Read the full article here.

8. A Guide To Buying Your First Rolex

This was a personal post. But one that turned out to be very useful to more people than I thought. Luxury watches are not cheap. In fact, they’re extremely expensive. And buying one is not an activity to be taken lightly. It’s a big deal. As I note in the post itself, it took me the better part of a year to research and decide which exact Rolex I was going purchase as my first. I thought by sharing my personal journey – both the good and the bad – that others in the same situation could benefit from that experience.

We have a set of three questions written on our white board in the studio designed to guide everything we do and every decision we make. We revisit them constantly. The first of those questions is, “What is truly unique about He Spoke Style?” And one of the answers to that question is the personal connection we’ve created with our readers.

We are not just another mostly voiceless editorial publication that is beholden to advertisers and the perpetual fashion calendar cycle, publishing boilerplate editorial because we have to. Over time we’ve nurtured a relationship with our readers to where you want to know what I – what we – think about this, that or the other thing.

I’m extremely proud that this particular article took nearly an entire year of actual, real-life research to write. I think it shows. And it is what, in my opinion, makes it stand out amongst the many similarly styled pieces – many from larger, “big league” publications – that exist out there on the interwebs. I wrote this because I had something I was passionate about and wanted to share with others who may share that passion, not because we needed this piece of content in our portfolio.

Read the full article here.

9. Italian Prep: Going From Polo To Pellegrino

Amidst a slew of posts focused on higher-level editorial ideas and personal and team achievements, a single outfit post might appear to be something of an interloper. But for a very simple reason, I like this one. A lot. For many guys, especially those just beginning their personal style journey, Italian style can seem a little advanced and very flamboyant. In keeping with our idea of approachability, the aim of this post was to demonstrate that this is not always the case. With a few simple tweaks, we showed you how to transform a classic preppy look into something a little more European – no excessive flair necessary.

Read the full article here.

10. What’s It Like To Drive a Ferrari?

This was a favorite (and absolutely amazing) for obvious reasons. Driving a Ferrari up the PCH on a pristine late-spring day is the type of once-in-a-lifetime experience that will never be forgotten. It was also a whirlwind. In less than 48 hours, I was on the east coast, in Big Sur and then back on the east coast after an overnight flight.

Aside from the apparent, there were two other personal highlights I’d like to note from this trip. First, connecting with a select few on the trip who I deeply respect and admire for their work. Second, having the opportunity to work with the photographer Michael Shaffer.

I rarely – hardly ever, actually – work with anyone other than Rob. In fact, it gives me great anxiety to step in front of someone else’s lens, especially for a high-profile project. Are they going to get it? Do they know how we regularly shoot? It’s scary when you’re required to create something without the person you create with 99.9% of the time.

But on this trip I had Mike. Lucky me. You’ve likely seen his photos gracing the pages of magazines like Motor Trend and for big advertising campaigns by luxury auto manufacturers all over the world. So it should be pretty easy to understand why I feel very fortunate to have had the chance to work with him.

Read the full article here.

What were some of your favorite HSS articles of 2016? Chime in below!

Thanks, as always, for reading.

Stylishly Yours,

Brian Sacawa He Spoke Style

Photography by Rob McIver Photo

The post Editors’ Picks: Our 10 Favorite HSS Posts of 2016 first appeared on the men's style blog He Spoke Style - Men's Style, Fashion, Grooming, Tips and Advice

First found here: Editors’ Picks: Our 10 Favorite HSS Posts of 2016