#everytime he screams in anger during season 5 it terrifies me and i just know that he'd unintentionally make me burst into nervous tears 😭

[demigodishniss]

I made a post about this the first time I rewatched Eleven's run but it must be said again: I love his dichotomy between "fun-loving and joyful" and "angry and borderline jaded" so much. He's talented and good at putting up a front but it all crumbles away the second there's slightly too much pressure, because suddenly he's not young and easy-going at all but ancient and tired and it's taking everything in him to not let the grief he carries weigh him down or push away the people who've come to care for him, not knowing that if he did give in to it, they would absolutely love him anyway.

"He's just a silly little guy" But more importantly he's aged and tired and constantly fighting to maintain the balance between his wonder and joy for the universe and his frustrations and anger with it, and he doesn't always do that well.

I love how outwardly sweet and fun he is, but there's something about those moments when the mask slips and we're reminded that he's seen things that he never should've seen and made decisions that were too much for one person to ever make. And then for a second we see just how much weight he's actually carrying around with him and yeah, it makes sense why he'd rather not show that part of himself.