#excerpt from a book i'll never write

[darlingdeathx]

I am yours, even in this waiting. I am yours.

[fleurral]

i don’t want to teach you how i want to be loved. i want you to discover it. i want you to realize it. i don’t want to ask for it—or even worse, beg for it. i want you to generously offer it to me. i want it to come out naturally. sure, i love how whenever i tell something, you do it the next time or learn to compromise but i can’t go on like this forever. i can’t teach you how to handle me all the time. i can’t teach you how i want to be loved all my life.

[threewordusername]

words unspoken marinate,

potent spells of

uncertainty and possibility.

life passes by,

while those unknowing

have missed the opportunity

to hear your true thoughts.

please, expel the

words which brew

in the confines of

your heart.

tell someone you love them.

"say what's on your mind, right now."

d.b.a

[blooming-anna-rose]

I think I haven’t gotten a good night of sleep in weeks, but I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll wake up at 2:00 am so I don’t have to dream about you. these crescent circles under my eyes have tattooed themselves onto my skin, forever keeping me company since you decided you didn’t want to. I’ve been smiling and laughing and keeping every hour full of tasks and to dos and I’ve been posting photos of my friends and sunsets and it seems like I have kept myself together so well. But I wish I didn’t have to prove that I don’t miss you when it’s so clear to me that I do. I wish I knew it was enough to miss you to have you back, but I will not beg for anyone to love me and it felt like everytime I saw you, I was saying please. One day I think I’ll be able to sleep through the night, and maybe it’ll be in someone else’s arms.

-n.c. // it’s better to have loved and lost?

[vodkatales]

For old times sake is actually such a heartbreaking and beautiful sentiment. Like, let’s do it for the love that used to be here. It is reason enough.

[writingthethoughtsaway]

“I believed you even when I knew you were lying.”

- S. C. C.

[charmingwinds]

I read somewhere that the act of peeling oranges for someone is considered love. I found it stupid.

Then one day, I was home after a tiring day and there were oranges sitting on the counter. I knew they had to be eaten that day, a day later, they’d be rotten.

I was just too tired.

I completed my chores, and the oranges were still there, colourful and nudging, hoping I’d pick them up.

I walked past, and found my bed. My head comfortably rested on the pillows.

Those damn oranges.

I got up, sat on the counter and peeled them grudgingly. As I ate in silence, I understood what they meant. It was love alright, not peeling oranges but being taken care of.

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

[ninasdrafts]

(shortened)

[darlingdeathx]

[thesewordsaremymusings]

“I want to take my heart off my sleeve, it has grown too heavy.”

-m.n.

[vomitingwords]

"I don't want to think about it now," one of my closest friends once told me. "I'll think about what I can do once I'm already in that situation," she even added.

Before we got into this conversation, I was ranting about my life. And why are things not happening the way I want them to? As if the universe is against what I want. These past few months have quite stressed me out, and I don't have anyone to tell these things to. Because, honestly, I never wanted to bother anyone. I am just a typical person who keeps things to herself. Especially if it's too personal for me to share.

Earlier, while I was traveling to work, this conversation struck me once again. And I just remembered that I also said that before to someone I know. I used to think that way. I used to tell other people the same phrase every time they asked me what I would do if I were in a certain situation. And you see, I used to not overthink too much. Yes, I am an overthinker, but not to the point that I am experiencing now. I just thought that my overthinking got the best of me. I'm on the verge of quitting everything that I'm passionate about. In short, I was so close to giving up and stopping everything that makes my heart feel alive. I haven't felt so genuine in a while, as if everything I wrote was nothing but mere words that have no meaning at all. Something I don't really feel like writing about. I stopped having a long conversation with anyone. I stopped listening to what they really had to say. And just think, think, and think until it's time for me to go to sleep.

But then I remembered who I was before. I remembered that girl who doesn't easily give up on things just because she's stressed out. I remembered that girl who loved to lift people up with her words. I remembered someone who would not let anyone stop her from achieving what she wanted. I remembered who I was. I remembered myself saying, "Let's see what I will do if I'm in that situation." Even if I am not sure what I can exactly do when that moment comes, even if I'm not sure if I'm still alive to witness that, I remembered how hopeful I was. And I remembered how much faith I have that things will always work out. And even if they don't, it just means that it wasn't meant for me at all.

I just want to tell you that sometimes you have to remind yourself of the old you—the you who have lived and survived in the past—just to get you where you are right now. And remember that if you don't like where you are right now, you still have a chance to do something that might change where you're going. It might be a tough road to walk on. But the most important thing is that you've done something. You've never abandoned yourself and just given up on what you really want to do.

Hello, I'm just dropping by // ma.c.a

[hipsternerd9]

My nights were filled with thoughts of why wasn’t I good enough for you.

[threewordusername]

for now, leave the past behind.

six-word poem.

d.b.a

[vodkatales]

How can we be allowed to feel so much for people who don't feel anything for us?