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#executive dysfunction nerfing the desire to do any and every thing that possibly might bring me joy
guarshroom
·
1 year
Text
Y'all ever just be an inch from having a complete mental breakdown at work?
#goo noises
#i am not okay
#it feels like a lot of things are just fucked
#*gestures to the world in general*
#add to that the following
#impulsive thoughts of suicide/self harm that scare me and drain my mental battery
#crippling loneliness with the inability to ever feel like I belong
#executive dysfunction nerfing the desire to do any and every thing that possibly might bring me joy
#having to weigh personal freedom over financial stability
#keeping all this to myself/the blog only maybe 3 people paybattention to because I don't want to feel like a burden
#as well as feeling like the 3 people I can confide in about this don't really understand any of it
#oh and don't forget the ever shitty feeling of 'my life feels super stagnate and will never amount to anything meaningful'
#and the fact that my mental illness puts me at a disadvantage in trying to be good at any video game I try enjoying
#for the simple reason being that I can't process more than one thing at a time
#at this point I feel I only really have reasons to not die rather than to keep living
#ironically it's the same shitty feeling of not wanting to be a burden that's behind most of it
#tw suicide ideation
#tw depressive spiral
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